#then the actual meat of the video doesn’t need to be captioned since they’re watching it presumably with audio

[trashcandroid]

i fucking HATE tiktok videos that are posted here where there’s some interesting prompt with captions on screen that immediately changes to someone just talking to the camera with no captions

like i just got invested but i am not going to bother connecting my headphones just for this and i am definitely not playing it out loud

[aggravatetheaxe]

Hi there! I was wondering if I could request an imagine where a victim “escapes” from the slashers and hurts s/o in the process. What would the slashers do during and after? Thank you!!

Hi! I wasn't sure which slashers you wanted for this, so I put my list into a randomizer and went with the first 5!

Walter Sullivan

Thomas Hewitt

Jason Voorhees

Deacon Billings (OC Ghostface)

Erik ("The Phantom")

SLASHERS WHOSE VICTIM HURTS THEIR S/O

cw: mentions of suicide, reader being injured/in mortal peril, mentions of torture and killing etc etc

--

Walter Sullivan

Oh no. Oh dear.

You are possibly the only good, pure thing in this world or the Otherworld and someone hurt you? Walter is ... not happy, to put it lightly. The only person who should ever hurt you is him, and he won't do that unless it's for your own good.

This only enforces his belief that the world and everyone in it are monstrous. It drives home the truth he's already convinced of - this existence in terrible and torturous and needs to be destroyed if anything holy is ever going to be allowed to blossom again.

Whether The Victim is pre- or post- Walter's suicide, he's already stopping at nothing to go after them. He doesn't view it as personal, he doesn't hold any particular hatred for most (most) of his victims; they're simply links in a chain. But this person, the one who hurt you ... it's personal. They'll die in absolute agony.

If the victim in question is pre-suicide, Walter will bring them down and find somewhere to keep them for later. This will not be a quick death.

While they're bound/gagged or knocked out, he'll check on you. You're special, possibly even the Mother Reborn, and he can't let you die until the time is right. If you're seriously injured, he'll see to it that you're taken to the hospital, and pray to a dead God if he has to that you'll be alright. If you're not seriously injured, he'll do his best to patch you up - he lived on the streets for many years and had to take care of himself, so he knows basic first aid.

Once he's certain you're safe, he will put you somewhere where you won't witness what he's about to do. Even if you want to see it, he'll insist you stay hidden, saying the sinner doesn't deserve to be in your presence. You'll have to really convince him if for some reason you want to watch.

Their torture will depend on what they did to you. If it was just a few scrapes and cuts, he'll let them feel every ounce of pain before they die. If they really hurt you, their torture will be prolonged. In his mind, and according to his religion, death is a sacred sacrament, and this evil being doesn't deserve its release. If they did something to seriously traumatize and/or sully you ... the crime scene he leaves behind is going to be grisly, to put it lightly.

If the victim in question is post-suicide, the results will be similar, but he has absolute control over the Otherworld - and he will utilize that. He will have his creations take care of you and keep you somewhere safe ... they may be terrifying, but they won't hurt you unless he wills it. As for the victim, he can twist them into their worst nightmares over and over again before killing them. He will make them see their wrongdoings and pay for their evil. They will beg for mercy and there will be none.

After it all, he will simply move onto the next one, with you somewhere safe ... until it's time. Until it's time. You are so perfect.

Thomas Hewitt

Dammit. If he'd just been quicker or smarter, he could have caught them before they escaped and hurt you. He immediately blames himself.

There's no time to beat himself up over it, though. He briefly checks to make sure you're not bleeding from anywhere vital and sends you (or locks you up) somewhere safe before going after the victim. You're on your own for first aid for now - unless you're literally dying, he can't let them leave the property.

If you are literally dying, he's staying and doing all he can to help you. But if Hoyt yells, he may have to pawn you off on someone else and hope they do a good job taking care of you. He'll hold your face and give you tender kisses goodbye - whether you want them or not - because this might be the last time he ever sees you.

He chases the victim in a fever, much more erratic than you would expect from him. He's faster, less careful, more inclined to put himself at risk just to get a swing in at them. It's not generally anything personal when he kills someone - it's something he does for the good of his family, and because he was told to. This one he's not interested in saving for meat. They hurt you. You, his special person. He's going to grind them into the mud, and he's not even going to let Hoyt have a go at them.

Sometimes, sometimes, he struggles to see the animals in his victims. But this one ... he doesn't even feel the urge to twist them into an animal. That's a whole human, an evil one, one he wants to kill. It's a different feeling for him.

Once it's all over and everything's calmed down, he's rushing directly to your side. People don't come around all too often, so he's comfortable putting down the chainsaw for now. He neglects any skin projects he planned and lets someone else do the butchering, focusing on taking care of you, especially if you're seriously injured and put up in bed.

If you're not as seriously injured and tell him you're fine, he's still keeping an eye on you ... and making sure you're well-fed. You've been through a lot and it was all his fault. He doesn't want you to be exposed like that again. Next time someone comes around, he'll insist you hide somewhere.

Jason Voorhees

It's a toss up whether or not he'll actually notice you're hurt. Not because he doesn't care or anything, but because Camp Crystal Lake is a lot of ground to cover and there's a low chance he'll be in the same area as you at any given time.

For this imagine, though, let's assume you've found your way to him or he's sensed you're in trouble and has rushed to you.

You were supposed to be safe in the cabin, so he's a little irritated that you wandered out, but that's completely overshadowed when he realizes you're hurt. He stops everything he's doing and clinically and thoroughly pats you down, identifying every solitary injury.

Just like his mother before him, he is a vengeful soul, so he is not letting this go even if you're just scraped or bruised. If you are critically injured, he'll at least get you to the cabin and get a tourniquet on you.

Otherwise, he leaves you behind. Not very mindful, but you should know that he wants you to get back to the cabin or at least stay out of the way. He is no longer thinking of you - he has established his target and knows what he has to do. He's laser focused and decisive as he stalks after them, using anything at his disposal to get to them.

Their death is quick - he doesn't play around - but he has a lingering sense of irony and playfulness. If there's a particularly interesting weapon nearby, he'll take them out with that; or perhaps he'll hurt them in the way they hurt you, just, you know ... more fatal. And a lot gorier.

After that, he'll move onto their friends, until every last one is dead. Once his objective is completed, he is returning to you directly and finishing the job of patching you up.

He can't help but feel a little guilty that you were hurt. You shouldn't have left the cabin, true, but perhaps he should have been watching for you. He should have locked you up. Pamela might say rude things in his head. Then again, she might comfort him. If she doesn't like you, maybe she'll even wish he'd left you to die.

Deacon Billings (OC Ghostface)

Well ... you usually keep him around to scare off other Ghostfaces - something he's very handy at - but you don't usually run into trouble with his victims.

He doesn't really tell you to go anywhere in particular when he's killing. He knows you can take care of yourself. But now he feels stupid for not having a backup plan. Of course some asshole was gonna eventually identify you as his loved one and try to get cute. He should've had something prepared for that.

But, if he's good at anything, it's improvising. He skids into whatever room you're in, drops his weapon, and pulls his mask off right away to check you over. If you're only mildly injured, he's visibly relieved, and tells you to stay put while he deals with whomever hurt you. If you're more seriously injured, he'll grab your phone and shove it in your hand. "Get in the car, get the fuck out of here. Drive to the emergency room if you have to, just leave."

If you're unable to drive, he'll make you call emergency services - or call them for you, if he has to. The game is over, he's done playing; this isn't fun if he's not winning. Everyone in this place is gonna be dead and he'll be long gone by the time the ambulance shows up for you.

The one who hurt you is going to get an extra special surprise. A particularly grisly death, and a bunch of selfies/short videos of Ghostface with the corpse - taken with the victim's own phone, posted to their instagram, tiktok, facebook, sent to any discord groups, and any other social media they have. If he has the time, he'll even make them in meme formats (definitely posting with meme captions, the fucking troll). He'll probably send a copy to you as a "hey, look what I did!"

If there are survivors, especially if that survivor is the one who hurt you, you better believe he is immediately doxxing them. Since he's had a little time to cool down, he might even play the long game, maybe catfishing and blackmailing them. Ruining their pathetic little life even further would be pretty fun. In the end, though, they'll die like all the others.

When all is said and done, he's going to be there for you, helping you recover any way he can. He'd suggest rest (for an amount of time relative to your injury), some movies and candy, maybe some video games. And time spent with your favorite Ghostface, of course, right?

He'll never forget what happened, though. Even though the person is dead, he'll be stewing and pissed off about it for a long, long time. And he won't let something like that happen again, or at least, not without a contingency plan in place.

The hash mark/tally mark he stitches into his costume to symbolize this kill is gonna be twice as long and large as the others, maybe in the place you got hurt as a reminder.

Erik

You already know what's about to happen.

If anyone so much as hurts your feelings they're getting menaced and receiving a strongly worded letter - actually physically harming you? That's suicide.

If he can't immediately kill this person, or if you're seriously injured, his primary objective is helping/comforting you. He has to push down a lot of wrath to do it ... every instinct tells him to immediately dispatch the fiend responsible ... but you are more important to him than anything in this world, even revenge. He will administer any first aid you need and may even drug you with ether to ensure you rest.

Don't think that means your attacker is off the hook, though. As soon as he decides you're well enough, he will put you somewhere safe - lock you away if he has to - and kill them. His preferred method is the Punjab lasso, but if they did something particularly egregious, he'll knock them out and take them to his torture chamber. They have a lesson to learn before they go to Hades.

Another option is, like Deacon, playing the long game ... playing with his food, stalking them, making them live in fear before they die. But he has a lot of wrath in that skinny little body, so it's a toss up as to whether or not he'll actually be able to follow through with that for very long. It depends on his mood, really!

He will keep the killing and torture hidden from you, of course ... unless you express an interest in seeing the vengeance being carried out. He would be worried for you, however, and advise against it. Those sights are not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for someone as beautiful and good as you.

Once all is said and done, it's as if it never happened. As if that person never existed! What a happy thought! Sometimes you even think Erik has completely forgotten the incident ... until he's stalking another victim and he locks you away again, and you remember you are always on his mind. He will never, never let that happen to you again.

[swimintothesound]

Swim Into The Sound’s 2017 Un-Awards

Welcome to Swim Into The Sound’s first annual Un-Awards! In this direct (and more negative) companion piece to our Diamond Platters, we take a moment to reflect on some of the worst moments in music over the past year. From bad lyrics to tasteless cover art, this is a quick-hit version of the lowest points that 2017 had to offer.

In a year where we keep thinking “well, at least things can’t get any worse” 2017 always managed to surprise us. From politics and celebrities all the way down to movies and music, this was a year of general-purpose deplorable behavior and reprehensible choices. While there were plenty of good moments over the past 365 days, you will find that none of that light reaches these depths. This post is a place of darkness, a hell devoted solely to the most soul-crushing and life-questioning music of the year.

I’d also like to throw out a disclaimer that I don’t particularly like being pessimistic, especially when it comes to art that people have (presumably) worked hard on. Aside from that, negativity stands in direct opposition to the ideals that this website was founded on in the first place. What I’ve found is that it’s hard to talk about the good without also thinking of the bad, especially for a year like 2017. As I mentioned before, the previous post is the exact inverse of this one, and the next article going up will cover our favorite albums of the year, so if you are searching for affirmation, this is not the place to find it. Just think of this as the lone negative meat in a positivity sandwich.

Truth be told, aside from a few visibly-frothy entries, most of these awards are positive spins on negative experiences: moments that surprised me, music I’m embarrassed to enjoy, or weird synchronicities that I noticed throughout the year. I could have gone out of my way to shit on Katy Perry, The Chainsmokers, Imagine Dragons, or any number of middling radio-ready albums that were released this year, but at a certain point that all just feels redundant and hack. I prefer to be original in my distaste. So without any further adieu, I’m proud to present Swim Into The Sound’s list of the most spine-chillingly-regrettable music of 2017.

Biggest Disappointment

Winner: Queens of the Stone Age - Villains

Being a fan is a mixed blessing. The upside is that you get to enjoy the rollercoaster of hype that is an album rollout and you get the sweet experience of listening to a highly-anticipated album for the first time when it releases. On the flip side, that fandom can easily backfire if your expectations have been built up too high. While I love Queens of the Stone Age, in 2017 I fear that I may be outgrowing them. The group’s 2004 release Songs for the Deaf is literally my favorite album of all time, and there’s no higher praise than that. Each record since then has been good to great until 2013’s ...Like Clockwork which just didn’t sit right with me outside of a select few songs.

This year, the group’s seventh LP represents a new artistic low. Featuring limp “dancy” grooves, irritatingly-clean instruments, and some of the most laughable lyrics I’ve ever heard, the band we see on Villains bears little resemblance the one that I fell in love with years ago. I recognize that wanting a band to stay the same is a shitty thing for a fan to ask, but I just can’t understand, enjoy, or tolerate the direction that the group is headed. I’m a lifelong fan, but that makes these recent records hurt all the more. When you love a band, you devour each release that they put out. Even if the last few records haven’t hit as hard, you stick with them because you want them to be better. The excitement of something new is impossible to stay away from, but now after months of listening, all I want is for Villains to stay away from me.

Runner-up: Portugal. The Man - Woodstock

While I wrote glowingly about Portugal. The Man’s entire discography last month, Woodstock (while not bad) is not an album that I particularly wanted. It’s not the band’s worst, but it’s the most sterile, safe, and poppy album that the group has ever created. Outside of a handful of adrenaline-pumping car-ready songs, Woodstock takes no risks. The album breaks no new ground, asks nothing of its audience, and seems entirely too content to settle. While those qualities are the exact opposite of what I expect from the trailblazing Portlanders, I’ll hold my reservations until I hear what comes next.

Album I Feel Like I Will Adore In A Few Years

Winner: Fleet Foxes - Crack-up

Until earlier this year I never particularly liked Fleet Foxes. In preparation for their 2017 release, I found myself endlessly replaying the group’s self-titled LP alongside Helplessness Blues while doing other things. Somewhere along the line “inoffensive background music” turned into brilliant folk epics, and I finally understood what made the band so unique. However, in a Bon Iver-esque pivot, Fleet Foxes’ third LP Crack-up represents an experimental shift in sounds, and unfortunately, it’s a change that doesn’t sit particularly well with me. There are some awe-inspiring moments scattered throughout this record, but as a whole, it’s not a release that stuck with me in the slightest, let alone one that can hold a candle to the band’s earlier work. I recognize that there’s something special going on in Crack-up, but I feel like it will just take some time for me to properly excavate it, just as I did with the group’s first two records.

Runner-up: Sun Kil Moon - Common As Light and Love Are Red Valleys of Blood

Sun Kil Moon is another artist that I’d never listened to until 2017. After hearing this year’s mouthful of an album Common As Light and Love Are Red Valleys of Blood, I came away pleasantly surprised. Featuring solemn, looping instrumentation and long podcast-like narration by Mark Kozelek, I listened to all two hours and ten minutes in complete fascination. I dipped back into his previous work like Benji and loved it just as much, but for whatever reason, I never ventured back into Valleys after that first listen. Maybe it was the album’s lengthy running time or the idea that the narration would prove too distracting for a casual listen, but Valleys always felt too daunting to dive back into. I feel like one day when I’m a middle-aged dad with a couple of kids I’ll finally have the time to revisit this album and it will speak to me on an entirely new level. The songs and stories here feel like something that I will find solace in when I’m older, but I just don’t have the 2+ hours right now.

WTF Moment of the Year

Winner: Bhad Bhabie

Of all the memes to emerge from 2017, few have been as successful as 14-year-old Danielle Bregoli. She first gained traction in January thanks to a Dr. Phil clip in which Mrs. Bregoli challenged an audience member to “cash her outside.” The teen’s delivery of the phrase caught fire and became a meme/infinitely-renewable social media caption for a hot minute. One of the more perplexing news stories of 2017 (and that’s saying something) was Danielle’s announcement of her music career as “Bhad Bhabi” complete with a deal on Atlantic Records. Preceded by an appearance in a Kodak Black video, this announcement blindsided the music world and spawned a million think pieces. However when Bregoli released her first song in August the unthinkable happened: It wasn’t that bad.

The video for “These Heaux” was the first part of a one-two punch alongside “Hi Bich” that set social media ablaze in September. As everyone collectively remembered the months-old meme from what seemed like a lifetime ago, most people took this as an opportunity to laugh at her once again. Meanwhile, I watched the same videos as everyone, and recognized it as bad music, but found myself embarrassingly enjoying both songs. “Heaux” and “Hi Bich” are both competent and well-produced Rae Sremmurd-esque bangers that, yes, are propped up by production, but still enjoyable. The truth is, they’re musical fast food. It’s not nutritious, healthy, or even filling, but sometimes you just need to bask in the utter trashiness that is Bhad Bhabie.

Runner-up: Lil Pump

Earlier this year I wrote a 3,000-word post in which I attempted to reconcile my newfound love of trap with my extreme dislike of the current crop of SoundCloud rappers. While that write-up was primarily inspired by the reprehensible human being that is xxxtentacion, I now regret lumping Lil Pump into the same category. While his brand of blown-out hyped-up trap is of the same school as xxx, Lil Pump isn’t nearly as bad on a personal or musical level as Onfroy. More surprisingly, I actually found myself liking his breakout single “Gucci Gang” more than I am comfortable admitting. Featuring a worryingly-mindless chorus and the same laundry list of flexes as most trap hits, “Gucci Gang” manages to be an infectious banger that has also propelled Pump to the forefront of both the charts and popular culture.

Most Un-sexy Sex Song

Winner: Alt-J “Hit Me Like That Snare”

In an interview with Q Magazine, Alt-J’s lead singer Joe Newman described “Hit Me Like That Snare” as an “atypically filthy psychedelic grind.” Wow, guys. Wow. If you want to avoid listening to the song, I don’t blame you. All you need to know about this track is that the band rhymes “slithering” with “scissoring” (yes, that kind), and the lead singer describes the song as “spicy.” Whew.

Runner-up: DJ Khaled “Wild Thoughts”

While I thought “Wild Thoughts” was exceedingly-sensual on first listen, the song now has too many things working against it for me to find any titillation here. From Rihanna’s baby talk to memories of dancing hot dogs, I just can’t listen to this song without picturing Santana’s face, or DJ Khaled screaming. The single achieved a level of cultural-pervasiveness so quickly that it became saturated beyond its original artistic vision. God knows I have no problem with DJ Khaled, but this track now contains too many distractions to remain pure. The music video is still unspeakably steamy, but as a whole, “Wild Thoughts” has lost what little sexy luster it initially had.

Am I The Only One Seeing This Shit?

Winner: Rappers Counting

I’ll admit that this category was created with the sole purpose of repurposing already-written articles, but that doesn’t make the observations contained within them any less valid. The first of these two hyper-specific happenings of 2017 can be found in this article where I outline three examples of rappers using numbers as lyrics. Not like clever wordplay involving numbers, but counting upwards sequentially one numeral at a time. It’s a weird thing to have happened multiple times in one year and feels like such a lazy cop-out of songwriting, but at the same time, each artist in the list manages to make it work for one reason or another.

Runner-up: 21 Savage’s Food Lyrics

Another weirdly-specific phenomenon of 2017 is something that I noticed while listening to 21 Savage’s debut Issa Album over the summer. Despite his tough gangster exterior and dark, moody beats, 21 also managed to fit an alarming number of food references into his first retail outing. While not particularly jarring, these references provide a weird contrast to the rest of the Mr. Savage’s “murder music” and end up sticking out like (multiple) sore thumbs throughout the record. It happened just consistently enough that I began laughing every time they poked up, and I felt the cosmic need to compile them somewhere, so I did.

Most Insensitive and Heavy-handed Song about Suicide

Winner: Arcade Fire “Creature Comfort”

On this second single off Arcade Fire’s Everything Now, we hear Win Butler clumsily address the topics of suicide and self-harm. The song’s first verse explains “Some boys hate themselves / Spend their lives resenting their fathers / Some girls hate their bodies / Stand in the mirror and wait for the feedback.” Taken on their own, these lines aren’t particularly offensive, but it’s the second verse where things get truly tactless: “Assisted suicide / She dreams about dying all the time / She told me she came so close / Filled up the bathtub and put on our first record.” I mean, what a pretentious and shitty way to insert yourself into someone else’s misery. It’s such a bizarre form of narcissism and masturbating to your own past, this line truly is one of the grossest sentiments that I’ve heard put to music over the past year.

Runner-up: Brand New “Same Logic / Teeth”

While it’s true that suicide isn’t exactly a groundbreaking topic for an emo band, Brand New somehow manages to stumble over it fantastically one of the few times that they tackle the subject. Surrounded by excellent songs of diverse sounds, styles, and topics, “Same Logic / Teeth” sticks out as Science Fiction’s  most significant blunder. With questionable lyrics, bizarre vocal choices, and overwrought sentiments, it’s easy to see why most bands would prefer not write songs about killing yourself because the only time I have ever wanted to end my life is when I’m hearing Jesse Lacey sing about how fish won’t judge me by my faults.  

WTF Moment of the Year 2: Weird Boogaloo

Winner: Vulfpeck “Captain Hook”

Venturing back to the “WTF Well” for two more entries, another of 2017’s biggest surprises came at the end of Vulfpeck’s Mr. Finish Line. The band’s third full-length studio album is a stone-cold chiller, but after half an hour of unspeakably funky tracks, “Captain Hook,” the record’s final song threw me (and every other listener) for a massive loop. Teased as a collaboration with Bootsy Collins, most fans expected a brainwave-shifting epic of an album closer, a modern “I’d Rather Be With You” but with even tighter instrumentation. What we got was a goofy comedy track featuring two of Vulfpeck’s members affecting the voices of an infant and an old Jewish man. Bootsy’s contributions are noticeable but minimal, and as a whole, the track is just a fantastically-bizarre experiment. “Captain Hook” is a weird child-like song featuring a trio of the three most disparate voices you could ever imagine, however (now that I know what to expect), I absolutely adore the song. It’s such a weird marriage of voices that, when combined with Vulf’s approach to music, circles back from annoying to endearing. It’s one final cherry of weirdness on top of the funk sundae that is Mr. Finish Line.

Runner-up: Taylor Swift “Look What You Made Me Do”

Preceded by snake imagery and a dark rebranding, “Look What You Made Me Do” marked Taylor Swift’s long-awaited return to the forefront of pop. After 2015’s 1989, numerous turbulent relationships, a public unmasking via Kardashian, and a complicated legal battle, the song represents Swift’s full embrace of the dark side. As the first single released off Reputation, “Look What You Made Me Do” was met with waves of confusion when it dropped this fall. From the Right Said Fred sample to the thinly-veiled jabs at her detractors, nearly everything about this song was poked and prodded through upon it’s August 25th release. There’s a strange schadenfreude to watching the biggest pop star flail to spectacularly, but at the end of the day she’ll still make a million dollars, sold-out rock stadiums, and be more successful than the richest DC supervillain, so as much as I want her to succeed, I guess it’s also okay to laugh. I definitely haven’t “come around” to the song, and I doubt I ever will, but the air of “what the fuck” was palpable the night that this song was released.

Weirdest Flex

Winner: Lil Pump “Gucci Gang”

After a brief intro and meme-ready chorus on “Gucci Gang,” Lil Pump surveys his surroundings and begins to describe them in the song’s sole verse. “My lean cost more than your rent” he boasts, “Your momma still live in a tent” he continues, “Still slangin' dope in the 'jects / Me and my grandma take meds.” These lines are so outlandish and bizarre that I can’t help but love them. First, we get the worrying comparison between the upkeep of his own opiate addiction to monthly rent, then the (uncalled for) implication that the listener’s mother is homeless, and the final cherry on top: the fact that Pump spends quality time popping pills with his grandmother.

It’s actually one of Pump’s numerous references to the elderly on his scant number of released songs, leading me to think that this is either A) a genuine lyric, or B) a worrying cry for help. At least he’s spending some quality time with his elders before they pass. Even if it’s a drug-fueled haze, I hope that both parties treasure their remaining time together.

Runner-up: Drake “Gyalchester”

On one of More Life’s most hard-hitting tracks, “Gyalchester” finds Drake braggadociously displaying his opulence in rapid lyrical flashes. Halfway through the first verse, the song’s beat cuts out just long enough for Drake to exclaim “I don't take naps / Me and the money are way too attached to go and do that.” While the sentiment of money over everything is hardly new for the rap game, using naps as a framing device to explain how fond of currency you are is such a “Drake way” to go about it. At this point, Drake is far beyond the memes of his earlier career, but lines like this one are how he got that reputation in the first place. All this said, I’m not gonna begrudge anyone their beauty sleep or lack thereof, everyone has their own unique schedule... Plus the song bangs, so cornball lyrics are easier to overlook.

Most Abhorrent Cover Art

Winner: The Darkness - Pinewood Smile

I honestly don’t want to write too much because I just want to stop looking at this. The facial hair. The teeth. The nose ring. The Photoshopped band members. I’m sorry I had to subject you guys to this, but this abortion of a cover is too bad to not share.

Runner-up: Maroon 5 - Red Pill Blues

*Adam Levine walks into the studio*

“Hey, have you guys heard of Snapchat?”

Most Undeservedly Shit Upon

Winner: Arcade Fire - Everything Now

For the sake of ending on a somewhat positive note, I’m going to wrap up by talking about two albums that were widely disliked, but I managed to appreciate. First off we have Arcade Fire’s fifth LP Everything Now. While I did just spend a paragraph dunking on the album’s suicide track, I actually thoroughly enjoyed this record. I’ll start this off by saying I have no reverence for this band, I don’t care for their older work, and they’ve always struck me as a painfully average indie group. Perhaps thanks to this lowered expectation, I emerged from my first listen of Everything Now with a smile on my face. It was goofy and cheesy, and about as far from subtle as you can get, but I still enjoyed it for what it was. Since the album is in this “shit upon” category, I guess it goes without saying that I was largely alone in this sentiment.

Maybe people were turned off by the unrelenting social media campaign, or just expected more based on the group’s previous work, but either way, it seemed like indieheads the world over were sick to their stomachs after hearing this record. I personally think the album has a wonderful Abba-esque charm to it. There’s a tremendous melodic through-line with the titular “Everything Now,” there are memorable choruses on “Creature Comfort,” and even a gloriously chunky riff on “Chemistry.”

At the end of the day, I think I enjoy Everything Now for the same reason that I enjoyed M83’s Junk. I went into both albums with low expectations and ended up loving the cheesy throwback vibe that they embraced. I can totally understand why that pivot would turn off long-time fans, but apparently, this sound is right up my alley. It’s not going to be on my end of the year list or anything, all I’m saying is Everything Now is good for what it is. You know what? It’s great for what it is. If fans could take their blinders off, remove their feelings on the album’s lead-up, and take this as a standalone adventure, they would probably enjoy Everything Now for the goofy romp that it is.

Runner-up: Foo Fighters - Concrete and Gold

Even before Concrete and Gold was released, I saw about a half dozen articles about how the Foo Fighters have nowhere else to go and are the embodiment of “New Dad Rock.” While it’s true that the band is unchallenging to listen to and don’t exactly think outside of the box, the criticism is a double-edged sword. Aside from being a thinly-veiled put-down, the dad rock label means that Foo Fighters won’t ever release a “bad” record, but they’re also never going to release another “classic” like Colour and Shape. While I agree the group is in a weird spot career-wise, I resent the idea that they won’t ever release something impactful as Colour and Shape simply because they’re older. Apart from the fact that 2011’s Wasting Light was one of the band’s best, on Concrete and Gold we see a band that’s still incredibly hungry.

Eschewing the conceptual framing devices of their past couple releases, Foo Fighters set out to make a straight-up rock record, and they succeeded. The band still go through their usual motions, oscillating from biting punky tracks to slow moody epics, but as a whole Concrete is a record that’s well-paced, well-produced, and solid from front to back. Just because it’s played on the radio doesn't mean it’s an inherently “okay” album, and just because the band is growing old doesn’t mean they’re settling. Concrete and Gold is concrete proof of that.

[jenniferasberryus]

Why Sonic Is the Perfect Mascot for Gen Z

Ever since the film based on the Genesis’ Sonic games got regenerated for Gen Zs, it’s got me thinking: “Gen Z’s” sounds a lot like “Genesis.” But, beyond that, it’s got me thinking about the ever-improving system we have in place for marketing nostalgia to Millenials, while also trying to convince new clusters of Gen Z kids to embrace these characters and franchises as their own.

Marvel comics became the MCU, the Star Wars continue unabated, and everyone’s so aware that we’re living in recycled times that... that’s all I’m really going to say about it. What’s interesting to me is just how perfect Sonic the Hedgehog is as a vehicle for this kind of weaponized nostalgia, and how he’s served as a measure of our relationship to coolness for three generations now.

[widget path="global/article/imagegallery" parameters="albumSlug=sonic-the-hedgehog-a-visual-history-of-segas-mascot&captions=true"]

Obviously, by casting Jim Carrey in a wacky role and re-doing the CG to make Sonic look more like his classic self, the filmmakers aren’t shying away from appealing to fond Millenial memories (you know, for money!). But Sonic remains primarily a kids’ movie, and thinking about the ways that today’s young people may relate to the blue blur made me realize that Sonic said a lot more about the Millennial generation than we realized - whether he intended to or not - and he sheds light on some of the things that connect us across time, no matter our generation...except for the Boomers, who I guess we all hate now? Is that the meme? Regardless, to understand why Sonic is the fuzzy multi-generational mirror that he is, we’re going to need...

A Bit of a History Lesson

To be clear, I’m considering a Baby Boomer someone born between 1950 and 1965, a Gen X-er someone born between ‘65 and ‘80, a Millenial someone born between ‘80 and ‘95 (prime Sonic age), and a Gen Z-er anyone born after 1995.

When Sonic was initially released in 1991, I was six years old, and “being cool” was super important both to myself and all of my peers (except for the kid who brought a gavel to school every day). What I think younger folks today might not understand is that this quest for coolness was not about authenticity, individuality, or any kind of meta-awareness of our identities. We weren’t “cool,” we were Cool™, and Coolness™ was defined by brands, something most of us didn’t grow up with the media-savvy to question. It was about being in a minority product vertical: skateboarding, black clothes, skitchin’, rap and/or punk rock on MTV, and unironically spelling the word “extreme” with a capital X.

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Speaking of irony, I’d argue that the ’90s were the decade where Detached Irony was born, grew up, got perfected as chronicled in the 1995 Alanis Morisette song “Ironic,” and, in a sense, died. Irony is a toy we make memes with nowadays, but it used to be what we used to identify ourselves as - we were misfits who were “over it,” and therefore cooler than you. You were Coke, we were Pepsi. Flash forward twenty years and I’d call myself more of a Blueberry Acai caffeine-free Diet Coke guy; my point being that identity issues have gotten more complex over the years. And Sonic has all of that wrapped up in his fur. Needles? His…hedgehog...texture.

The ’90s were a gaming landscape dominated by Mario: a fat, middle-aged human who focuses primarily on jumping. This made Sonic feel like pure, uncut, corporate-designed cool in a way that immediately juiced the X-centers of my brain. If you were a Sega kid, you felt indie, edgy, a little more Pitchfork than your Nintendo playmates. Sonic focused on going fast, his head had Liberty Spikes, and he was such a crude, rude, awesome dude that if you stopped playing for a few seconds he’d look right into camera and give you the stink eye for wasting his time.

Amazingly, none of that seemed corny to us at the time. Sonic’s Cool was genuine and accepted by his fans with a naivete born of the mono-media culture of the ’70s and ’80s, and which has been slowly decaying ever since Fonzie jumped the shark. These days it’s almost been completely dispelled as the internet and other technologies drive us to be more aware of the systems around us from a younger and younger age.

Considering that, it’s no coincidence that the 90’s saw the ascendance of grunge music, pop-punk, an explosion in goth culture, the advent of “The Gritty Reboot,” and popular films with nihilism as a central theme. As a culture, we became obsessed with the “fakeness” of all the sheeple around us — irony became a way to interact with the broader world, and a signature part of the Gen X and Millenial attitude. Suddenly we were only interested in bands that hadn’t “sold out” yet, and anyone who didn’t think everything sucked was probably a phony.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2015/10/14/history-of-awesome-1998"]

In that environment, Sonic’s cool started to taste a little Chemical Zone-ey, a little factory-produced. Although the fact that his transition to 3-D graphics was far less graceful than Mario’s was definitely a factor, as a pop-cultural icon Sonic had to shift gears, too. The first Sonic TV show, essentially a kid’s comedy, was canceled and replaced with a much more action-packed and serious take on the Battle for Mobius (if you didn’t know, Sonic’s from a planet called Mobius in the year 3235, but it’s best not to question it).

During the same period, Sonic stopped moving merch, and Sega announced their retirement from the console wars. Which finally brings us to Gen Z, the generation that’s proud to be themselves and frankly doesn’t give a f**k what you think about it.

Sonic & Gen Z (or... Zennials or… Whatever You/They Want to Call Your/Themselves)

These days, truly being yourself, unique, authentic… just you, is huge business. Youtube and Twitch are filled with child billionaires who lean into their personality quirks and are loved specifically for that reason. Also some racism. But the bigger point is, in the new normal, ironic detachment isn’t nearly as valuable. It’s actually cooler, these days, to be into something than to be over something. Young people feel more empowered to simply like what they like, which makes it an ideal time for Sonic to re-enter the fray.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2019/11/12/sonic-the-hedgehog-old-and-new-design-comparison"]

None of this is to say the movie will definitely do well (or even be good), but as a Sonic fan for life, it’s been interesting to watch him go from cool, to corporatized and “fake”, to “kinda corny and silly and… still fake, but that’s what’s funny about it.” The whole debacle with the initial CG Sonic reveal speaks to that...the filmmakers tried to make Sonic “realistic” and the internet said, “No you idiots, he’s a cartoon rascal that thinks he’s too cool for school, just let him be that!”

Gen Z is the first generation of humans to have grown up fully immersed in a digitally-enhanced society. Everyone is able to indulge their interests and hobbies much more thoroughly now, which has resulted in a galaxy of fragmented fan-bases and communal identities that make the “Are you a Sega person or a Nintendo person?” question seems quaint by comparison.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2019/03/01/why-are-there-no-good-video-game-movies"]

Nowadays, someone isn’t just a Nintendo or Sega player - they’re an anime cosplayer with an interest in tabletop gaming, or a maker of pixel-beats who crochets Star Wars scarves on Etsy in their spare time. The pop culture landscape is richer. Case in point: there were 130 more movies released in the US in 2018 than in 2017, and the number of scripted TV series’ have increased by 85% since 2011. In such a dynamic environment, generalizations are tough to make, but there is a lot of statistical data on Gen Z folks -- mostly marketing data about buying trends, because Capitalsim™ -- that I think bodes well for the possibility of a Sonic Renaissance.

Environmental Consciousness

Gen Z kids are more concerned about pollution, sustainability, and conservancy than any previous generation. Sonic the Hedgehog’s arch-nemesis is a boomer in a non-self-driving vehicle who’s here to automate all the flowers and animals and build a giant factory.

Fiscal Responsibility

Gen Z-ers are notoriously thrifty, more likely to work a series of freelance jobs or change careers frequently, and always looking for bargains or a place to live that they can actually afford. Sonic the Hedgehog hoards gold rings and emeralds and is in danger of being gentrified out of his neighborhood.

Cord-Cutters

Gen Z is the generation that “cut the cable,” and consumes most of their content on their mobiles, seeing screens as essentially interchangeable and TV as outdated. Sonic destroys hundreds of old-fashioned TVs every game and is mobility incarnate.

Data Protection

Gen Z places less emphasis on the importance of personal privacy. Sonic wears gloves and shoes but no pants.

Ethically-Sourced…Chili Dogs?

Gen Z is consuming far less meat than previous generations. Sonic loves chili dogs, which is a tube of several kinds of meat with ground-up meat on top. Okay, that one doesn’t work. Um...

Blue Hair

I’ve been seeing lots of kids with blue hair lately? What’s up with that?

Let’s see, how can I sound older than I already do? Oh! Bidets? No thank you! What’s all this fuss lately about bidets and bidet seat add-ons? I’ll stick to good old-fashioned American-made two-ply, thank you very much! Now, in my day, we had the Virtual Boy, and he was my best friend and oh my, the times we’d have…

[poilib element="accentDivider"]

Editor’s Note: Michael just kept typing out SNES titles until he got sleepy. We put a blanket over him to make sure he didn’t get cold.

What’s your take on Sonic these days? Corporate Shill or Moderately Funny In Sort of a Kitschy Way Corporate Shill? Let us know in the comments, or to really see how far the internet has fallen, check out what happens when you put the creepy old CG sonic’s teeth on other game characters.

from IGN Video Games https://www.ign.com/articles/2020/01/09/why-sonic-is-the-perfect-mascot-for-gen-z via IFTTT from The Fax Fox https://thefaxfox.blogspot.com/2020/01/why-sonic-is-perfect-mascot-for-gen-z.html

[wishingfornever]

12/25/17 – No Contact:  Christmas

I hate Christmas.  I feel very alone right now.  I got back from work and I’ve been awake since.  Current time is 1am.  I wrote a bit of a rant on Facebook.  It was more to address those who experience today in Solitude.  I wrote this rant more for myself… but if asked about it, I’ll deny it.  I wrote about how many people are alone and feel the burden of the holiday.  So if I’m asked, I’ll say, “No, I’m with my cousin.”

Excuses.  It’s a poison and I’m the only one drinking it.  Tomorrow, Adela and I will try to find a place to get food.  I guess I’ll get some McDonald’s. Fuck it, I’ll have meat.  -,-

On Twitch, two people have added me.  I’ve accepted.  They don’t seem to be bots, at least not when I added them a week or so ago.  I asked one why they added me.  Rather, how they found me.  He (assuming this person is male but he has a feminine name) said we have a mutual friend.  Shane.  I haven’t seen hide nor hair from him in a long while.  Very peculiar.

It’d be funny if it were Esther and she were stalking me, but this person is playing World of Warcraft.  She never heard of it when we met.  Of course, she and Dennis could have gotten into it… I wonder.

Remember how I said “Dennis and I never go out so his stories are false.”  Thing is, in World of Warcraft, we did A LOT of things together.  That is far more likely.  Again, doubt it’s Esther but if Dennis got her into WoW that’d be a place where a lot of his stories involving me would be true.

I suspect Shane told these people to add me.  I think he’s busting my balls.  Just sort of trying to upset me or something.  I don’t know.  It’s a very weird circumstance.  I’m going to try to avoid these folks but if they message me, I’ll respond.  I don’t even know how to check mutuals on Twitch, so it’s more than likely he told them to add me.  Whether his intention is malicious or not has yet to be determined.

Anyways, time to ruin Christmas.  As I said yesterday… or the day before? The transcript for me trolling.  I probably won’t share anything like this again, so this will be for educational purposes only. Behold:

Original Post by Mutual Friend who ISN’T a Nazi (Was Posted on Twitter but Appeared on Facebook which he neglects): Journalists need to realise that the erosion of trust doesn't matter for their political antithetics. Trump supporters won't watch @CNN anyway.

It's their normal audience that'll tire of constant mistakes, of immature antics. Yelling about apples won't help with that.

Declan: Nope it won't help them, but there is a NEW NAZI BORN every MINUTE these evil and vile people exist! GOOD AND JUSTICE IS COMING! [At this point, he shares a video titled “88 Problems” which is a Nazi remake of “99 Problems” and is ABUNDANTLY Fascist]

Declan: [He shares a picture of Stalin furiously grabbing his head and looking down upon a series of pictures depicting Communism and Homosexuality with Hitler laughing in the corner]

Stephen: [Shares a picture of a Pencil with the words “This Machine Kills Fascists” on the side]

Declan: Hahahaha, gotta love the queer unnatural filth that rose up to exist because we chose the wrong side in World War Number 2. Thank the CREATOR for Generation ZYKLON which is rising in huge numbers. I guess the degenerates pushed too far too fast. Just a matter of time now, the days of the degenerate is numbered. THANK GOD!

Stephen: Lel, not sure if you're serious or not. Either you're telling a joke or you are the joke. ;)

Stephen: [Shares a picture of Che Guevara, on the top is written “I bet you won’t repost because you’re too ashamed to have a picture of Jesus on your feed.”  The purpose of this was to target his blatant over-religiousness and was more to draw him out as the image will offend him ideologically as well as spiritually.]

Declan: [Tags Me] - HAHAHAHHAHAHA, [Includes picture of Che Guevara with the quote “’The Negro is indolent and lazy, and spends his money on frivolities, whereas the European is forward-looking, organized, and intelligent.’ - Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara” and is immediately followed by another quote saying, “THIS DUMMY NIGGER SAYS NIGGERS ARE LAZY AND LAZY… In his nigger mind while attempting to promote Europeans… IS NOT EUROPEAN!”]

Declan: Now run to facebook and cry to CUCKERBERG to ZUCK me

Stephen: Oh, you're serious. The thing is, Che isn't black. In fact, his ancestry is Spanish-Irish. It's alright for not knowing, however. Ignorance can be cured through education. Education is a machine that kills fascists. :D

Declan: [Tags Me; mind you, the hyphen is a part of his responses, this has all been copied and pasted directly with the exception of describing the text in images] - YOU SAID ONLY BLACKS CAN BE NIGGERS! You, YOU, are clearly anti-black.

Declan: [Tags Me, yet again] - you should be ashamed, BLACK LIVES MATTER!  

Stephen: "Nigger" is a derogatory term for people of color. Much like how "Kike" is a derogatory term for Jews. If I were to call you a kike and then proceeded to insist that Kikes aren't specifically Jews, that'd be ignoring the original meaning of the word. The more you know. :D

Declan: People of color? You mean how "white" people are all the colors with various hair and eye colors, and brown people are just brown…

Stephen: More how in the US and other western nations determine someone's race by the color of their skin as opposed to standards in other nations. For example, in the Balkans, race is more nationalized and has more to do with culture. For example, Albanians and Serbs in Kosovo. They're different peoples and are considered a different race despite having the same skin color, but I digress.

Anyways, race is a boring topic and you're so very ignorant. Instead, let's talk politics. Since you're super into Black Lives Matters, then certainly you've heard of the glory that is Marxism, yes? :D

Declan: [Tags Me Again; please stahp] - I have heard of it, yes indeed. I figure cuckerberg is getting his minions ready to ban me as I type, so I better respond quickly… [Shares a picture depicting Romans carrying the fasces and is captioned, “In ancient ROME the fasces were carried by the lictors to assemble the court of the magistrate. They brought justice & light of ROME as they bore the fasces on their shoulders. The fasces remains a symbol of justice to this day because of it’s use in history. A bundle of sticks, in this case it was an axe bound around it with rods, held in place by leather strapping. The fasces served as a symbol of the people united together in the purpose of service to one another to build society under the law. It is this unity of purpose that is the basis for FASCISM.  I am a FASCIST.”]

Declan: [Shares yet another picture with words, this depicting Joseph Goebbels with Adolf Hitler, quoting the former as saying, “THE JEW IS THE PLASTIC DEMON OF DECAY. WHERE HE SENSES FILTH AND DECAY, HE APPEARS FROM HIS HIDING PLACE AND BEGINS HIS CRIMINAL SLAUGHTER OF THE PEOPLES. HE PUTS ON A MASK OF FRIENDSHIP BEFORE THOSE HE WANTS TO BETRAY, WITHOUT THE INNOCENT VICTIM NOTICING THAT HIS NECK IS ALREADY BROKEN.

THAT IS WHY WE NATIONAL SOCIALISTS OPPOSE THE JEWS. THE JEW HAS CORRUPTED OUR RACE, SOILED OUR MORALS, UNDERMINED OUR VALUES, AND BROKEN OUR STRENGTH. WHEN WE FORGOT OUR GERMAN NATURE, HE TRIUMPHED OVER US AND OUR FUTURE. -Dr. Joseph Goebbels, July 30 1928.”  Wall of text and is a dumb quote.  Dumb.]

Stephen: Nonsense, nobody is listening to your banter besides me. You're making it clear that you like Fascism so I'd like to ask you more about your ideology. What do you like about Fascism?

Declan: I believe in natural order and seeking real truth. This leads to true justice.

Stephen: Right, but truth is subjective. Rather, let's talk about the political intrigue behind Fascism. For example, what are your views on economics? Do you think Fascism can work with Capitalism?

Declan: Economically, Hitler's policy on National Socialism was an amazing success. So much so, that he turned the ruins of his Republic into a shining war machine.

Stephen: That doesn't answer my question. At all. Do you think Fascism can work along side with Capitalism?

Declan: This is what sums up the ideals of that economic ideal. [Shares yet another picture with a wall of text, I honestly haven’t read any of this until now because fuck that shit.  “HITLER’S DEFINITION OF SOCIALISM

‘A Socialist is the one who serves the common good without giving up his individuality or personality or the product of his personal efficiency.  Our adopted term ‘Socialist’ has nothing to do with Marxian Socialism.  Marxism is anti-property; true socialism is not.  Marxism places no value on the individual, or individual effort, or efficiency; true Socialism values the individual and encourages him in individual efficiency, at the same time holding that his interests as an individual must be in consonance with those of the community.  All great inventions, discoveries, achievements, were the first product of an individual brain.  It is charged against me that I am against property, that I am an atheist.  Both charges are false.’

- Adolf Hitler, December 28, 1938”

Bullshit propaganda, designed to sound good while kissing ass.]

Stephen: It’s a yes or no question, Declan.  ;)

Declan: The simplest answer is yes.

Stephen: So yes?  You believe Fascism could work with Capitalism?  You do realize that much of Hitler's economic success was due to the state taking over control of industry in the nation?  If Hitler ran today's world, Walmart and all those other businesses wouldn't exist in favor of a state-owned economic industry.  That's the opposite of what capitalism and the free market stands for.

Stephen: Very peculiar thinking. Knowing what you know now, do you still believe capitalism is compatible with Fascism knowing that Hitler's success was largely in part thanks to state controlled industry?

Declan: I disagree totally, given I know what Hitler actually did and promoted. [lol, no you don’t]

Stephen: You disagree that capitalism will work with Fascism? But you just said the simplest answer is "Yes." Why the change of heart?

Declan: [Tags Me once more] - I disagree with you. Hitler's ideals of private property and personal industry was promoted in his work. National Socialism is NOT the same as the disease that is marx. [shares the most previous image again because if I read it once I really have to read it again]

Stephen: I'm not talking about private property as that has little to do with the free market. The thing is, in Nazi Germany you had to work through the Nazis in order to run ANY business. You needed to be a member of the Nazi party. The state controlled almost the entire industry of Germany. This was a requirement for the war effort, after all. Hitler was not one to support the free market as that was part of the Jewish agenda.

Stephen: "These capitalists create their own press and then speak of the 'freedom of the press.' In reality, every one of the newspapers has a master, and in every case this master is the capitalist, the owner." Addressed to the German workers of Berlin in 1940. Hitler said this. He was not a friend of Capitalism. [This is the comment he liked]

Stephen: Hrm, seems you've vanished. Was hoping you'd stick around longer. Perhaps a change of topic would encourage your return. Let's talk about the Fascist's strengths. How do you feel about Nationalism? :D

At this point, he stopped responding.

I was going to talk more about this and explain certain things, but I ended up spending an hour going back.  Remember when the paragraphs were doublespacing?  I mentioned it briefly and didn’t really talk about it again.  I realized that if I have to rely on someone else to post these, I need to make them orderly.  So… I did it.  Just now.

I don’t suggest it.  I was getting rid of the double spacing manually because this is SO long that the program I’m using is just… well, it can’t handle uniting all the edits and making the spacing universal.  So, I pressed down on the arrow keys, hit enter, then clicked the mouse multiple times on the “Decrease Paragraph Spacing” button.  This lasted a while and I reread a lot… not a healthy trip down memory lane.

Before Shane told me what he told me, I was super chill with Dennis and Esther.  I REALLY turned against him.  I trusted Shane so much. Trusted Daniel, too.  I toyed with the idea that Daniel was untrustworthy… I think Shane too.  But I never really confronted it.  Of course, Dennis isn’t the ideal character.  He still betrayed me.  And Esther became a bit of a bitch.

Still, I wrote… a lot of sincere and heartfelt things.  I toy with the idea that if Esther were to read this, the first part of the journal would scare her.  Going through it again, not really.  Like, you can see my opinion of Dennis change.  I was honest about who I spoke with.  I wasn’t as deceitful as I thought I was.  And a lot of the dreams… ironically, I remembered the greatcoat burning dream the most.  I remembered it because the design of the camp had a sort of similar appearance to a Call of Duty Black Ops map.  The big snowy map in a factory.  Not exact layout, just looked similar which is strange for a concentration camp.  I can’t remember what I was, though.  Probably for the best.

Haven’t seen Cynthia or little Stephen in a while.  That’s good.  I still have dreams of Esther, of course.  Her spectre.

I had to change the name of a certain NationState to NationState Region Founder.  He has a funny name but it’s a shame I can’t reveal it. To protect his identity.  I sort of involved him in my drama.  That was wrong of me.

I wish I could convince Esther to read this.  I feel a lot of emotions that I felt back then.  I had really hoped that Esther would change her mind.  Shane built me up in a way.  When he was saying that Dennis was basically Hitler, I was convinced she’d see reason.  Of course, I attacked someone she had oxytocin for.  Thus, she hated me for attempting to rid her of her oxytocin source.

He’s still a little bitch.

Yeah, maybe I’m salty.  But Dennis wronged me.  She refused to see that. I forgave him, but he doesn’t want to be forgiven because he doesn’t think he did anything wrong.  I forgave her and same thing. She’s a good person… just fucking dumb.  ><

She has a lot of potential and it’s being squandered on fucking pot.  I hate marijuana.  If you smoke it, you’re a fucking idiot.  Yes, talking to you, Tumblr Reader.  Don’t smoke pot.  You need a sober mind.  If you do smoke pot, smoke it socially.  Don’t let it become a fucking crutch.  Overindulgence in anything is a bad idea.

Of course, I’ve basically pigged out these last few days.  Weirdly enough, whenever I do I tend to lose a lot of weight.  Weird how that happens.  I noticed that as I was reliving the journey so far.

I also noticed that I fell for something I told Esther not to fall for. Early in our relationship, before we became romantically involved and we were strictly platonic, I gave her a set of numbers.  She asked what the numbers meant and I told her to figure it out herself. I ended up talking about hidden messages and the Enigma Machine from WWII.  In an effort to learn the meaning of this set of numbers, she learned how to read the Enigma Machine.  She had a big crush on me, you see, and really wanted to impress me.

As she was learning to decipher the Enigma Machine, I told her that it’s possible the numbers have no meaning.  Immediately, she denied it and said that some of the numbers were making sense.  I told her that she’d find a meaning but that meaning would be entirely her own. She was looking for answers and if she looked hard enough, she would find the answers.  She’d find these answers even if there was never a question.  She still defended the idea that the numbers I gave her had a meaning.

Eventually this idea of hers vanished as I managed to convince her that it was an analogy for religion.  What’s the meaning of life?  Certainly, there are answers and we’ve found it!  Just don’t eat shellfish or pork!  Because you’ll get sick and die if the pork isn’t cooked well enough or if you have shellfish allergies.

We try to find a meaning for everything.  Everything must have an answer.  And when we find even a glimmer of an answer, we’ll do whatever we can to defend it.  That is why the most religious people are… well, religious.  Because they are determined that they have an answer to a question they alone asked.  A meaning to all of this.

The fact of the matter is, there is no meaning.  There only is.  We exist and we perhaps shouldn’t question why we exist.  Life is temporary as an individual… but as a collective?  Life is infinite.

Anyways, Esther tried to impress me by attempting to find an answer to a question that was implied.  Instead, I impressed her through a bit of insight.

Esther was strange at first, but she was worth talking to.  She was like a blank canvas and I was determined to take advantage of this.  I wanted to expand her mind, her thought processes.  She has so much potential that I know Dennis won’t see.  I’m certain he oxytocins her as well, perhaps as much as I do.  But his oxytocin for her? It’s a physical attraction.

To me, I oxytocin’d her because there were so many possibilities.  The idea of Cynthia and mini Stephen?  That’s recent.  To me, I had hoped to share experiences with her.  I wanted to do things I never have and have her do things she’s never done.  I never ice skated before I met her, for example.  A tip of the iceberg for me, the iceberg being adventures we may never do.

I mentioned that we had contracts.  She and I set these contracts and they began because I recognized that she was naive and would agree to anything.  Basically, I wrote contracts under duress to point out, “Hey, don’t fucking agree to everything just because you want one thing!”  It was GROSSLY against her.  However, we eventually rewrote the contract for other things.  We weren’t in a romantic relationship at the time, but we were flirting quite heavily.  It lead to the romantic relationship getting established.

My pride… it interfered.  She screwed me over in the contract and rather than letting her get too proud, I decided to weasel my way out of it and have her rewrite it.  Of course, it was a serious point so I weaseled for good intentions but I regretted doing it then.  Still regret it now.

Before we broke up, right after the event happened where I discovered Dennis was a piece of shit and the oxytocin for me Esther had once felt had faded, I wrote a new contract in an effort to get her back.  It heavily favored her.  She came over to pick up her things the day after, and I showed her the contract as well as a letter detailing my remorse.  I uninstalled all my games for the first time to prove my sincerity, showing her an empty steam library.  The contract I had written the night before was VERY hard on me… Esther even pointed it out.  It was a chance, but I was so scared of losing her that I lost my shit.  Ended up cutting my arm.  That was 9/3/17.  The End.

Love is strange.  Never have I… panicked like I had.  Never have I hurt so badly.  Losing Esther has hands down been the lowest point of my life.  It was only made worse by those I thought were my friends. Shane, Dennis… even Daniel.  Of course, Daniel is still a friend. But he’s not an ally.  He actively worked against me.  Admittedly, he worked against me on the behalf of his brother.  He was loyal and chose a side.  To him, blood was thicker than water.

The original quote, supposedly, is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”  That is to imply that the bonds you have can be thicker than the bonds you’re born with.  I told Daniel that Dennis never liked him, and it’s true.  Dennis NEVER liked him.  I’ve mentioned this multiple times.  However, Esther was told this and only saw the Dennis of… recent years. Perhaps Daniel and him repaired their relationships, but I always remember Dennis just shitting on Daniel.

Dennis was not a good brother.

So, Esther thought I was lying.  Me, being a narcissist, was turning Daniel against Dennis!  Yeah, I guess I was.  But it was still the truth.

Shane… he lied to me because he wanted to do what Dennis had done.  Esther had told me that he was getting… creepy.  I don’t want to see how deep that rabbit hole goes, but I trust it’s a dangerous one to enter.  At least for her.

And Dennis… I don’t know.  He’s a liar.  He’s admitted this.  She trusts him over me.  It’s the oxytocin.  Of course, I embraced Shane’s words wholeheartedly, so I proved he was more honest than me only in the sense that Dennis said nothing and I said everything. I panicked.  I never stopped panicking.

Still, Dennis is a piece of shit.  If I were in a position to help him, I would.  Certainly, I would help him in a heartbeat.  However, afterwards I’d spit right in his eye.  I respect our history but the loyalty and trust he and I had… he profited off my misery.  He did something I would never do.  But, I’m holding him to my own standards.  As you can see, I can’t uphold myself to my own standards at times.

Hrm… getting late.  It’s almost 5 in the morning.

Something else I saw…  I spoke about my witch friend a lot.  A quick word search has revealed I haven’t revealed her name, so I’ll keep it that way.  Witch I met about the time I met Ariel.  A bit later.  She had her birthday recently.  Taught me a lot about magic.

I… asked her to cast spells on Dennis and Esther.  Make Esther love me again, forgive me.  Less than stellar things for Dennis.  I didn’t actually think they’d work and they didn’t, obviously.  But the idea would give me peace of mind.  I needed… something.  Something to keep me grounded.  I omitted that information just in case the spells worked.

I found out maybe… a month ago?  That the spells won’t work.  That the target is a naturally born witch so the spells can’t… magic. Somehow.  I’m not sure how it works, but I thought it was fitting. Esther’s a natural witch.  If she ever came back to me, I’d have to get her spell books.  See what she could do.

Ariel said I might be a natural Shaman because I attract so many witches. When I discovered Esther might be a witch, I couldn’t help but think maybe there was something to what Ariel had said.  Thing is, I don’t believe in magic.  Honestly, Witch might have just been lying to get me off her back.

Esther is a very spiritual person.  I’m not.  Ariel is a very spiritual person.  I’m not.  Witch is a very spiritual person.  I’m not. That’s three witches whom I hold very dearly.  My cousin is a witch, supposedly.  A wiccan or whatever.  Jeremiah is wiccan.  Just… idk.  I thought the wiccan thing was just a fashion trend.

Dumb to say, I know.  But maybe there’s a reason for all that.

It’s late, of course.  I’d believe any nonsense at this point.  But if there is a grain of truth in a silo of lies, then I’ll be sure to give it a chance.  I’ll randomly mail Esther some witchcraft books in the future.  I think I can remember Dennis’s address.

Oh, I smell nice.  I ran my fingers through my hair and I got hit by my cologne.  I’m reminded by my work day, though… could have been better.  I felt like I left and the job I had done was done… poorly.  My work ethic isn’t the greatest, but I felt low.  I was dazed.  Just was a bad day.  The day before was far better.  Of course, there was a pretty girl I could flirt with there.

I don’t flirt on the job, of course.  I try to stay professional.

Of course, she was shopping too.  Thing is, I never had a chance to say hi because… professional.  I don’t oxytocin this new girl.  I like her as a person because she’s funny and I am definitely attracted to her, but oxytocining her is a bit early.  As a cancer, I need to be aware of what I oxytocin.

Besides, playing hard to get is what brought Esther to me.  I doubt it’d work here, though.

If Esther came back, I’d stop pursuing Diana immediately.  I’d still intend to meet up with Ariel, though.  Esther would have allowed it back then before the event.  I try to be loyal and monogamous, with Ariel excluded of course.  When I was talking about bumping nasties with several women I knew on the way from Susanville to Houston, I knew I wouldn’t sleep with them.  Was it a joke?  Yeah, a bit, but I actually did want to know if Esther would have cared.  I think with the first one, who is single, she and I would have seen a movie.  Had dinner.  Have a date.  Typical bullshit.  We wouldn’t have slept together though.  Even if I wanted to, she wouldn’t.  She’s Christian and is even chaste.

The second girl, she has a boyfriend.  I tried pursuing her in the past but the timing was wrong.  Never had the chance to actually seal the deal. The third was a guy.  Actually, I met him online. He’s very charming.  Persian-American, or at least his dad is Persian.  He’s in Iran right now, actually.  He lives in Dallas. He’s a very handsome man, as well.  That’s something I noticed, Iranians tend to be very attractive peoples.  Would I have slept with him? If I were gay, I’d fucking fuck him so fucking hard.  But, alas, I am not.  He’s very handsome.

I don’t game anymore so I gave him my phone number recently.  Saved it, too.  I started saving numbers again.  I did it because I didn’t want to forget Esther’s face and my phone… well, it automatically gave her number a face.  Not sure where it came from.  Adela has a face too, which is strange.

They’re the only two contacts on my phone with faces.  And Esther… well, I only saved her number recently.  I don’t really save numbers.  It’s not my style.  The only number I saved last year was this number of this guy who was basically harassing me.  Like, he was crazy and I didn’t realize.  That’s a long story.  Haven’t heard from him in over a year.

Honestly, I hope he’s well.  It can’t be easy for him.  I think he was homeless.  I’m not sure.  He was mysterious and strange, yet he was so hopeful.

Oof. That’s a long journey for recounting memory lane.  Anyways, it’s time for bed.  I’m going to drink the rest of my 1500 ml of water because I didn’t earlier today at work.  Then, I’ll brush my teeth.  Then… I’ll stay up.  I’ll think about Esther.  And then I’ll dream about work.

Heh, that sucks.  I have this inner fear that I fail at work before sleeping.  Makes me restless, strangely enough.  Last night, I had a dream that I was leaving this old, rustic manor in Spain with Esther and this other guy.  We didn’t lock the house with a lock but this weird mechanism.  He said that it was a lock for the stupid.  He said this outloud, right as we left.  A line formed as people tried to play with the lock.

I realize that one guy was going to get it and I started walking towards him to let him know, “No, fuck off.”  The distance got further the closer I got, strangely enough, and when I got half-way he breaks open the mechanism and a bunch of people flood in.  I say, “Fuck!” and start running.

I make it inside and I grab the first gun I can.  A tank-gewehr from World War One.  It’s basically an elephant rifle redesigned to pierce tank armor.  Big gun.  I take aim at one of the looters and squeeze the trigger.

Nothing. I rack the bolt back to see if it’s loaded and it is.  So I push it forward and try to make sure that the bullet is actually chambered correctly.  The dream ends before I can take the second shot.  Or maybe it didn’t, but I can’t remember the rest.  I just remembered I failed at protecting my household from looters.

Tonight will be different.  It has to be.  I’ll dream about failing to help my coworkers.  See you again in a minute.  ;)

Should have guessed.  I had a dream about Esther.  Was very emotional. Like… oof.

Dennis and her separated peacefully, unlike when me and her and I lost my shit and cut myself.  I managed to convince her to not only come back in my life but continue dating again.  She was hesitant the entire way, but we sat across from each other and I held her hand to my cheek and cried.  Crying in front of someone is very hard for me, but I was just so happy that she came back into my life that I couldn’t stop myself.

She had to do something, so I drove into town to do something.  It didn’t last long so I came back as soon as possible.  I stopped by Dennis’s and he was showing me some things.  Strangely enough, he had these snapchat messages with Esther that were saved from 2015.  I thought that was very strange, so I made a mental note.

Anyways, I picked her up and she had been doing a pornographic photoshoot. Her boss was this woman who I never saw and Esther said her boss was something of a hard ass.  From there, it was time to finally go home. I was very happy.

Then I woke up.

I was a bit grumpy when I did.  I mean… really?  Seriously?  Again with this?  In the dream, I was getting ready to prepare this journal to be read.  I was making mental notes of what to tell her, mostly. Dennis was being nice to us, so I had to tell her, “Try to ignore me randomly shitting on him.”  Just a bunch of warnings and disclaimers.

I don’t hate Dennis, mind you.  He’s just pissed me off.  I’m upset with him still.  I guess it’s a chip on my shoulder but I did sincerely want him to be a part of my life.  Shane too.

I had another dream (or maybe it was part of the same dream).  A random guy left me a voice message saying Shane told a bunch of random people to add me and gave my information out to the world.  This is where these two Twitch people came from.  I was very concerned at first, but I laughed it off later.  I stopped accepting friend requests, though.

I wonder if I’ve ever done that irl.  I try to remember back in my propaganda days.  I don’t think I ever encouraged a group of people to harass one person, but I have publicly shamed people.  My niece, for example, who is a few years younger than me.  She basically stole over 800 dollars from me.  That’s a long story, though.

Adela gave me a card saying, “Merry Xmas from Max and I.

Yaya + [Quickly drawn picture of a mustache and a paw print]”

This card had a 50 dollar bill inside.  That was nice of her.  I love the representation of Max.  He’s a little schnauzer so he always has a little mustache.  Super cute dog.  He doesn’t have a mustache now because the vet trimmed EVERYTHING but his eyebrows, but it’s basically a staple for him.

I didn’t get Adela a card.  Rather, I got her a present that I left on her bed.  It’s this short, faux fur coat.  I got one for my mom and she loves it.  I wanted to get one for Ariel.  Hell, I might randomly send one to Esther.  It’s a really cute coat.  Ironically, it costs 50 dollars.  If I get one for Ariel, it’ll be red with black trim.  That’s the same style I got Yaya and my mom.  If I get one for Esther, it’ll be blue or black.  The trim doesn’t change color.

Probably a bad idea to gift women the same article of clothing as other women, but it’s still nice.

I know it’s weird that I’m thinking of getting Esther something but her birthday is coming up.  If I send it, it’ll come from a “Mysterious Stranger” which will be a reference to Fallout.  Or something, I don’t know yet.  Honestly, I probably won’t even do it.  It’s nice to think about though.

Still, backing up a minute it’s weird that I want to get her a gift!  She has made it clear that she wants me out of her life and I know she’ll never come back.  In fact, she thinks I’m a Narcissist.  Surely, I’m doing this because I’m trying to convince her to come back! No.  Again, it’s been a tough life for her.  Last year, she was in a bad situation.  Her birthday was not so good.  Two days after, we met in person.  It’s been a tough year in general, but especially for her.  I think she’d like it.  However, if she asks me about it then I’ll deny it.  If she thinks it’s from me she’ll throw it away.  It’s $50 and I don’t intend to just throw that money away if she doesn’t at least try it on.  x.x

Whoops! I accidentally ordered it, just to see if I can change the Address and place a gift tag on it!  Unfortunately, Amazon is SO FUCKING STREAMLINED, that it just ordered the fucking coat and it would have sent here.  D’oh!

Fortunately, I was able to cancel it immediately.  I don’t get charged until it ships so my bank won’t see anything from it.  Phew.  I can’t afford it right now.  I can’t afford ANYTHING right now.  At least, I can’t afford anything on my card.  ><

Embarrassing.

I’ll look into sending mysterious packages when I can afford it.  Of course, she’ll know it’s me.  I’ll figure it out.  Shouldn’t be hard.  Just… whoops.  I probably will wait until next Christmas, honestly.  So, I guess this Tumblr won’t see the end result.

Oh, last night.  Last night, I drank so much water at once I thought I was going to vomit.  Very bad idea.  Today, I woke up with slightly chapped lips and my urine didn’t show any signs of being overly hydrated.  I guess I go through a lot of water naturally.

Just cooked some eggs with corn and seasoned with pepper, seasoned salt, and garlic powder.  The top three.  It wasn’t in a sandwich but it was covered in ketchup.  It was a good Christmas dinner, even if it were more a breakfast meal.  Esther cooks her eggs with shredded cheese mixed in before scrambling it, sort of like what I do with corn.  I considered cooking my eggs like that but I don’t have shredded cheese.  That and I usually through the end result onto a sandwich with sliced cheese, spinach, and onions (though the recent eggs have had the onion cooked in them).  I don’t have ANY of that right now.  But I have plenty of eggs.  :D

I think I’ll cook an Esther breakfast for myself soon.  Just to see if it’d work with corn, really.  If it doesn’t, then I won’t cook like that again but I doubt it’d be totally significant.

I’ve been thinking of Esther a lot lately.  It’s not a bad thing; I’m remembering her fondly.  I couldn’t help to while cooking the eggs, though.  I won’t cook for her again, so I’ll cherish when she cooked for me here.  Before the event, I cooked for her a bit. Nothing spectacular, mac and cheese or mashed potatoes.  Super easy stuff, nothing complicated.

I just tested to see if Tumblr has a character limit.  It doesn’t.  I posted the entire thing up until now to Tumblr on the blog I made for Esther a while back.  I deleted it after so no one will be able to see it.  The reason I tested it was to see how simple it’d be for my friend to post these things.  I’ll tell her to use the find function to find “Contact” and because that’s attached to every post.  Those are the titles of the entries, after all.

Basically, I’m trying to keep this as simple as possible for her.  Will she read all these?  Maybe.  But I do think she’ll follow through. I’ll make two copies of this.  One will be for posting to Tumblr. I think it’d be better for her to copy the daily posts and then IMMEDIATELY delete it.  The second will be for back up.  If she deletes too much or whatever, it can get mended easily.

Yesterday at work.  I just remembered.  I wasn’t supposed to be on a register but I was helping out as I could.  The line was long so I got on the second register.  My manager at the time, a short Mexican woman who is about my age, was on that register.  I got on it and started ringing people up.  Then she comes up and takes over.

Before she does, she grabs me by my sides, hands a bit higher than my waist to move me.  It’s very gentle and I didn’t realize it at first. Then, I saw it.  I threw my arms out and yelled, “I’m flying, Jack!”  It was great.  I was impressed by how quickly I assessed the situation and remembered the quote.  Like, it was lightning fast considering my dumbed down reflexes.

I actually steal a lot of my jokes.  Usually from Zero Punctuation, lately from Soviet Womble, but this?  This was something that I had a chance to do and I took it.  I forgot about it because the day was pretty rough, but it was… so good.  I was fortunate to have a chance to do something like that.  I didn’t have to go out of my way for a joke, it was just the right moment at the right time.

Anyways, watching a movie.  Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.  I won’t go into a full review like I did with the children’s movies.  Thing is, this movie is supposed to be rather underrated.  It’s very artsy. That’s something I’ve been wanting to see.  My favorite quote thus far is when this Italian gentleman asked Bill Murray’s character what the scientific purpose of killing one of an endangered species of shark.  He awkwardly sat there for a moment and said, “Revenge.” I’m reminded that tigers who were wronged would seek revenge.  I read that somewhere on Facebook, probably inaccurate but it’s very likely considering tigers are big housecats.  I feel animals are very human.  I shared yesterday a picture talking about how ravens were trading money for bread.  Or were they crows? Crows.  Still, they are very intelligent creatures.  They understand the value of currency and use it to make purchases.  Very peculiar, no?  And they’re making this trade with humans.  I’m sure it’s not the first time there was an exchange of currency between two different species, but it’s certainly impressive.  Animals can learn such brilliant things.  And I think I mentioned how ants enslave other ant colonies and those slaves sometimes fight back and rebel.

The more we look at the behaviors of animals, the more we’ll see the behaviors of man.  After all, the only thing separating us from the animal kingdom is that we wear pants.  Even then, we always try to find a way to take them off again.

Anyways, the movie is paused right now.  His entirely named crew all wear red hats (or a turban for one character), sort of like a uniform.  The gentleman who died at the beginning, spoilers btw, was named Esteban. Esteban is basically Spanish for Steven (or Stephen, in my case). My mom calls me Esteban, for example.

The artsy style is very peculiar, it’s clear that it’s intentionally like that.  The Crayon Ponyfish Seahorse doesn’t exist, mind you… so I wonder if this is in the head of a child named Steven.  Or perhaps Mr Zissou went crazy and is personifying those around him.  I like this film already because it’s making me think.

So, the creatures are all craft projects, at least from the ones we saw. CGI designed to look like it.  And of course, this documentary is so renowned!  It attracts nobility and one such of these renowned individuals was knighted in Portugal by the Presidente.  I don’t think Portugal knights people, mostly because… well, Presidente. They knight people in the United Kingdom, but they still have an aristocracy.

The way the camera shots are presented, the earlier scene where the documentary’s part one began, it had a very steady shot showing Steve Zissou in the middle of the ocean with red eyes for… hydrogen poisoning or something?  Not sure.  But I feel it’s reminiscent of older movies that fixed their shots on characters crying, even when there is so much movement in the scene itself.  That image would still be very still.

Not sure if that’s related to the theory that this is all in someone’s head.  I mean, the character was splashing and struggling in the water moments prior but everything was calmed and I think even the equipment was removed to show that he had red eye.  Very still.  And with the idea that everyone has a signature red hat and uniform mostly as well as the character who died basically had the same name as the titular character… well, I just feel there is something to that.  Maybe it’ll get revealed.  I’m only like… 15 minutes in maybe? I can’t watch now because my cousin is vacuuming and cleaning.  Honestly, I should clean as well.  I have to clean the bathrooms and do the dishes which was one of the reasons I cooked myself eggs.  May as well if I’ll do the dishes right after, amirite?  But I have plenty of time.  It’s only 6:48 at the time of writing.

I’ll stay up, tend to my chores.  I’ll clean up my workspace down here. I’ll get it organized before tomorrow.  I’ll set an alarm for 10 and wake up relatively early, regardless of how well I sleep.  Which, last night, I didn’t sleep well.  I kept coughing.  And I thought of Esther a lot.  But I coughed more.

When Adela is done vacuuming, I’ll continue the movie.  After the movie, I’ll get to work.

Just finished… it was a good movie.  It was funny yet it was also sad. It was blunt yet it was also sharp.  It was a very surprising movie. Honestly, I don’t care for my theory.  I was enthralled.  It’s a shame the movie was so underrated.  I felt that it was… art.

The Grand Budapest Hotel.  I saw that movie as well, a long time ago.  It was very good.  I’m looking up Wes Anderson films and I was surprised he made that one.  Isle of Dogs is a movie that Wes Anderson is making it seems.  It’s a movie that I wanted to take Esther to, even during the event.  Unfortunately, the fissure was grand enough to drive us apart.  My doing, of course, but still.  I will find the time to go to the theatres.  I shall watch it along, carrying her image in my heart.

We watched… several movies after the event.  Two, both were terrible but fun.  We went to the theatre and everything.  I tried to get her to watch Schindler’s List but… we fell asleep.  We fucked first, but we slept afterwards.  Weird to think about fucking during a holocaust movie.

I don’t remember how it happened.  I was emotional and I was happy to hear she’d give me a second chance.  She read the contract that punished me, of course.  Maybe I was too happy.  Weird, I know.

When I find the chance, I’ll watch the Grand Budapest Hotel again. Netflix doesn’t have it, unfortunately, but it might have a crap version on Youtube.  I’ll give it a look soon.  Adela is doing more chores, I need to go to the bathroom and then do the dishes, and there are fireworks which upsets the brat-dog.

Hrm… I wonder where the word “brat” comes from.  I think it’s German for sausage.  Thus, it’s possible that german parents would call their kids sausages because a lot of English speaking parents refer to their kids similarly.  On my facebook, two sets of parents refer to their daughters as a “bean” and they’re on the other side of the globe from one another, Australia and the United Kingdom. Sausage is sorta similar to a bean, and I guess a baby wrapped up looks similar to a bean/sausage.  Thus, calling someone a brat is just calling them a sausage.  But it’s more calling them a child because the child is a sausage.

To me, of course, brat is a term of endearment.  It’ll probably change to something else later on.  Not necessarily to me but to society’s standards.  The meanings of words tend to bend and evolve, like that. However, when you force a word to change, then the meaning is strengthened.  It must be an accepted change, a natural change. Don’t try to force a word to mean something else.  People will think you’re an idiot.

So, I suspect that in the future, instead of “Brat” people will call other immature people “Beans.”  Interesting theory, eh?

Just spoke to Ariel.  She went out with friends and ended up saving a dog. Not sure if adopted or what.  Sent me a picture of her with this rather large dog.  Hope it’s okay.  Wonder what happened.