#then one of my energy drinks busted in the floor

[sneaky-snake-907]

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[southerntigress]

you know that video of Nikki sixx from a long time ago when he says to the audience

You wanna see who has the bigger dick

You know where the tour bus is

Can write a smut story inspired by that ?

Sorry this took so long but here it is FINALLY

Tour Bus Shenanigans

I woke up to my phone going off like I roll my eyes, sigh, reach over to delcine the call and roll back over to go back to sleep. I'm drained and don't wanna be bothered yet.

It goes off again I cover my head up to try and block it out, finally it stops and I dose back off.

I was sleeping so good til my best friend busts through my bedroom door almost knocking it off the hinges and pounces on top off me

"Wake the fuck up bitch" she says as she bounces up and down on me

I open one eye and look at her "if you don't get your ass off of me I'm gonna throat punch you" I threaten

She only giggles and continues to bounce on me I've had enough so I roll over and this causes her to go flying off of me and land in the floor.

I sit up and look over the edge of the bed at her in the floor and start laughing as she glares at me

"Fucking Bitch" she says

"Serves you right. Shouldn't come barging in my house and proceed to bounce on me like some mad woman while I'm sleeping" I say

She flips me off as she gets up

" I was concerned you didn't answer your phone" she says as she sits on my bed

" that's cause SOMEONE kept me out til 4 in the morning last night" I sass

She rolled her eyes at me

"Bitch it's your birthday of course I did" she smiles

"My birthday was a week ago" I say

"Well I guess you don't want your gift then" she smirks

"Depends on what it is" i shrugs

She pulls out a envelope and hands it to me. I open it and squeal

"Are you for real?" I say

"Hell yeah" she says

"2 front row tickets for Motley Crue's show tonight" she adds with a smile

"You're the best" I say hugging her

"I know now let's get dressed and leave" she said

We get at the venue and it was packed with ppl running around everywhere. We get a drink and a snack and make our way to our spots.

After a little while the lights dim and the boys come on absolutely rocking the stage. I've been to many crue shows and each one is better they have so much energy and stage presences it's crazy.

After they play  Girls Girls Girls Nikki walks to the mic and addresses the crowd, they're a little bit more wilder tonight

" you wanna see who has the bigger dick? You know where the tour bus is right?" He randomly says as he looks out in the crowd

His eyes land on me for a minute and he smirks at me then walks off stage

The night went on and it was hot, sweaty and damn good time, as we was leaving we walked by the tour buses

I look at my friend and she looks back at me with the same look

"We should go over and take Nikki up on his offer" I say

"You go ahead I'm gonna head home I'm tired" she says

"I'm not doing it by myself" I say

"Yes you are, think of it as a birthday gift from yourself" she says and walks off leaving me there

I hesitate for a minute then deicide what the hell?  I go to the bus and knock, the door opens with a shirtless Nikki standing in the door I look him up and down

He smirks "may I help you?"

"I don't know you might can" I say as I lean on the frame of the door

He looks intrigued as he nods his head at me to go on "You see I have this little problem I need some help with" I say as I look at him through my lashes

"Yeah, what's that?" He says

"Well you see I was in the front row and I got all wet from the water you spit out" I say

"Well that's unfortunate" he says " I don't think I can help you with that" he teases

"Hmm, then maybe you can help with something else" I say as I play with the end of my hair

He raises his eyebrow at me and I continue

" Well you see it's my birthday and I heard you say if we wanted to see who had the bigger dick that we knew where the tour bus was-"

"Ahh so you came to call my bluff huh" he smirks

I nod my head " it would make a great birthday gift" I smile

Nikki laughs as he grabs my arm and pulls me into the bus

"Hey guys look what I got" he says as he takes me to the lounge area

The others turn their heads towards us

" she's hot sixx, where did you find her?" Tommy asks

"Can we keep her?" He adds

Nikki shakes his head" that's just it she found us and she's not a pet tbone ee can't keep her" Nikki says

Vince looks at him with confused looked

"Damn shame she would make a great pet" Tommy says and pats me on the head

I swat at his hand

"Fuck off tommy" I say as they laugh

"Anyways, She came to take me up on my offer about seeing who has the bigger dick" Nikki says

Tommy and Vince chuckle and look at me

" is that so?" Vince asks

"Yes" I say

"Not only that but it's her birthday" Nikki says with a grin

"Spoiler alert I have the biggest dick" Tommy says

"You mean you are the biggest dick" Vince says

"Fuck you Neil" Tommy says

"Alright assholes enough!" Nikki says

"Let's show her what she wants then" Vince says

"Oh we will but on one condition" Nikki says

"What's that?" I asked

" Afterwards you have to fuck us" Nikki says

" deal but one on one and I get to choose who takes my pussy, my ass and who gets gets to eat" I say

"You're on" they agree

So they line up and pull their pants down one by one and I walk infront of each one getting a good look at them

"Very nice boys" i say

"Vince you get my ass, Tommy you get to eat me out and Nikki you get to fuck my pussy" I smirk at them

"Aww why do they get to fuck you and all I get is to eat you" Tommy whined

"Cause I'm pretty sure if you fucked my pussy or ass you would break me and I would die" I giggle

"You ain't wrong" Nikki says laughing

"Fuck yeah! Told you I was the biggest" he cheered

"Yeah, yeah let's get this started" I say

Hands down the best night and birthday ever in the history of ever.

[tonberry-yoda]

Love your writings! Enemies to lovers with our favourite capo? 👀

Enemies to Lovers - Bruno Bucciarati

notes - SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMFG! It's literally been in my ask box for a year dude. It might not be the best and I apologize, but nonetheless, it was still fun. I hope you enjoy, even if it's silly. word count - 861

You were told to kill Bruno Bucciarati.

It was part of the job. Kill important people, make lots of money. Easy right?

You looked at yourself in the mirror as you tied up your hair and hid a knife in a garter around your leg. You felt… pretty. You smiled at yourself and turned to look at your outfit.

A ball with mafia members wasn’t rare, and it wasn’t rare that you went to them. You had actually met Bruno on several occasions.

It was such a shame you had to kill the poor man.

He was kind. Kinder than a lot of people you had met on the job. Kind, but he hated you. You knew he did. The way he would look at you over his glass of champagne from across the room, you just knew he wanted to kill you.

Frankly, you didn’t like him much either. You weren’t supposed to be kind in the mafia. If he was supposed to be any sort of boss, he should act like one. You were busting your ass just to hope that you would get promoted while he was building his way up dressed like a model.

You felt really good about the night to come. Never had you been so… nervous about a job.

You walked to the car that was waiting for you just outside of your house and you crawled in, thanking the driver.

It wasn’t a long drive, just a stressful one. You could feel your hands shaking. You had done this a thousand times before, so why was it so hard all of the sudden? You took a deep breath as the car stopped in front of a large mansion. You thanked the driver again and stepped out. The knife you hid was still securely against your thigh, so you walked to the entrance without a second thought.

The ballroom was crowded. Full of thousands of members of the mafia trying to make deals and kill each other. The energy was ecstatic. You loved it.

You scanned the room trying to get something. Anything. Any sign that Bruno was there. He had to be there. You saw dozens of familiar faces, so where was he?

“Hello, y/n.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin hearing Bruno behind you. You turned around and smiled wryly at him.

“Bucciarati.” You nodded.

“How lovely to see you.” He smiled.

“You as well.”

“Champagne?” He held out a glass to you with golden, bubbly liquid.

You took it with a smile. “How considerate.” You took a long sip, not once taking your eyes off of Bruno. The knife on your leg was getting antsy.

“Would you care to dance?” Bruno asked.

He was making this easy for you… too easy. You gave him a side eye, but took his hand anyway, setting your drink down on the table, knowing that you would probably never see it again.

Bruno swept you onto the dance floor, perfectly wrapping his arm around your waste. Dare you think that he was trying to make you fall in love.

“So, what are you doing here?” he asked quietly.

“What everyone else is doing here.” you answered vaguely.

“Always so clever.” he chuckled, shaking his head.

You two danced for a while. It felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest and give you away if you didn't do anything soon.

“Everything all right?” Bruno asked.

You smiled. “Mhm. Just fine.”

“It’s getting crowded in here,” he whispered in your ear. “Let’s take this to the garden.”

Now you knew that he had figured out something. You were screwed if you followed him, but you were even more screwed if you didn’t. You let him lead you to the garden and tried to keep some sanity. It was a simple job. It was the least you could do.

It was cold out. But the kind of cold that you enjoy after time in the beating sun. A chill ran down your spine, but you didn't mind it.

Bruno sat on a bench next to some daisies and patted the open spot next to him. You sat next to him and looked up at the stars and moon. Now or never.

“Who’s paying you to kill me?” Bruno asked.

You weren’t shocked.

“Can't tell you.” you said.

He hummed in response. “I see. Well, are you going to do it?”

You looked over at him and chuckled. “No, I don’t think so.”

“No? Don't tell me you’re going soft.”

You slowly took the knife out and twirled it in your hand. “Not soft. I just think I brought the wrong weapon.”

Bruno laughed and leaned back on the bench. “Some other time then?”

You looked at the knife. “Yeah. Some other time.”

You turned to pull the knife out on him, to actually get the job done, but Bruno planted a quick kiss on your cheek and disappeared.

That knife wouldn’t have been of much help anyway.

Strangely, you longed for the next meeting with Bruno. To perhaps actually get the job done with a better weapon and a long dance.

~~~~~

jjba masterlist (2) (3) (4) | pinned post | ko-fi

2024 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated <3

~~~~~

[star-xxx1]

Hey! It’s me! G!p Agatha x reader please ☺️ maybe jealous Agatha 😍 have a nice day 🫶

Thank you Aggie

Warnings: G!P Agatha harkness, jealousy, mistress kink, magic use, wetting pants, love bites, dom Agatha, fluff.

A/n: Sorry, this took so long. I've been very busy. This definitely isn't my best, but enjoy! P.s kinda short sorry.

The neon lights of the club flickered in patterns on the crowd of people, casting shadows and reflections against the walls and ceilings. The music blasted from the speakers, filling the air with the infectious beat. The dancers danced, moving in harmony to the music, and they others sipped from their drinks, trying to keep the beat in their own way. The place was a sea of bodies, all moving together in rhythm. The club felt alive with energy, and the atmosphere was electric. There was a certain freedom in the air, a sense of excitement that anything could happen, and a feeling that the rules of civilization no longer applied. The club was a place where boundaries were blurred, and people's true selves could be revealed. It was a refuge from the outside world, a place where people could let loose and have fun without judgment or restraint.

Agatha held your hand tight, navigating through the sea of people. She sat you down on a chair and quickly left you to get some drinks. With a kiss to the forehead, she dissappear for around two minutes. You got bust chatting to your friends. She came back, but she didn't look as happy.

"Aggie, what's wrong?" You asked, tilting your head to the side.

"Nothing doll," she responded, her eyes where focused on something else, tracing whatever with precision. "Let's get back to it, shall we?" She said, ushering you back to your friends. You nodded and allowed her to guide you back towards your group of friends.

You laughed and chatted but realized agatha was still looking at something. You looked in the direction and saw a group of men looking directly at you. The feeling of uncomfortable and nervous fulled your body. You quickly broke eye contact and looked right into your lovers eyes. She saw your emotions and put down her drink to hug you. During the hug, agatha waved her hands, a dark purple wrapping around them. Unleashing chaos on the group off hyenas. She wasn't having this. Jealousy engulfed her heart. Panic and water could be heard in the distance. Breaking the hug, you looked over to see the group off men grabbing there crotch as puddles of pee devolved on the floor beneath them. Silence filled the air, so quite you could hear a pin drop. The sound of murmurs slowly rises. As one voice of laughter broke into the hole room. You didn't get the chance to react before. Soft, loving hands were on your back, guiding you out.

The car ride home was peaceful and sweet. Music played softly for the speakers. The sljncr was comfortable.

"Are you okay, my love? You know the club?" She questioned her hand on your thigh tense up a bit.

"Thank you, Aggie," you said, smiling at her. She knew that you knew what she did.

"No problem, hunny."

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Getting in your apartment through the door felt so good. A sigh of relief escaped your lips. Your little bubble was burst by Agatha, pushing you up against a wall. Her lips instantly connected to your neck.

"Agatha?" You almost moaned out.

"Baby, no words, just please let me love you?" She yearned out. You looked into the witches' eyes and saw insecurity swim around. You nodded. "Of course, baby."

"Are you sure with this? Do you want this?" Agatha asked.

"Mhm, yes, please."

"Good girl." She cooed, kissing your cheek.

The next few minutes were a blur. Your lips were connected in a firey passion. You both rolled on the walls, struggling to tear each other clothes off. Agatha hands roamed your body. You could feel her need and wanted to fulfil it. Agatha finally opened your bedroom door and pushed you down onto the could like bed. You both were naked, your clothing littered around the house. Her hard on standing proudly in front of you.

She quickly spread your legs and place her self in between them. She was too desperate for foreplay. She spread your slick all over your pussy. Her precum and your juices mixed together.

"You're dripping, sweetheart." She said. All you could do was moan as a response to far under her loving spell that she somehow pulls you under every time.

"Mistress, please." You whimpered out.

"Yes, baby," she came up and kissed your neck Sucking and bitting roughly. She pushed her hips forward and slowly entered you. The deepest groan in pleasure escaped your lover as she slid into your tight hole.

"Fuck!" You moaned out, nails clawing at her back, leaving deep red marks in there wake. Your back arched at the penetration, slightly stretching you out.

She started a slow pace, slowly building up her pace. Agatha grip tightens around your waist as she thrusts deeper into your pussy.

"Yes! yes, that's it! Just like that!" You screamed out. You could feel agatha smirk against your neck as she continued to leave marks all over your neck. Agatha held your waist firmly, keeping your squirming form down. Her love bites got more aggressive as she pounded into you mercilessly. Whorish moans escaped your mouth, screaming 'mistress' over and over again. Each thrust shook the bed, your body jolting up and down, as your breasts bounced. Agatha ravished your body. To her, you were the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Am gonna cum! Mistress!" Your voice is rough from screaming and pleasure. That coil your stomach was close to snapping.

"Go on, baby cum" she said. Your muscles tighten around her member hard. Triggering her own orgasm, she quickly pulled out as your body shaked with pleasure. Her load of semen splattered onto your stomach. Her body shutters with pleasure, and she rises her head from your neck and places a loving kiss on your lips.

"Thank you, baby," she whispered out. Agatha looked at you all fucked out on bed, marks covering your beck entire. Cum dripping out your gaping hole. She proudly smiled at herself.

She took you into her loving arms, both of you resting before you, and she would take you off to the bathroom for aftercare. Arms intertwined as your eyes locked in a tender gaze. With each passing moment, you grew even closer until it seemed as though there was nothing in the world but you and agatha and the love you shared.

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[wolfstrong]

I said goodbye to my beautiful 2005 Honda element today my first car which i got back in high school. It left me with 211k miles on it and a busted catalytic converter. I’m not a car head in the slightest but I loved that car with my whole heart. They will never make a car as cool as the Honda element and it’ll probably be the best car I’ll ever drive, my first love. The seats in the back go all the way down and are good enough to sleep on, but they can also be fully removed then you got more then enough space to help move furniture. The perfect compact SUV really embodying the sport and utility. I had so many amazing times in that car. It got me to high school senior year and it got me to class every day of college and then it got me to work. I had countless fast food meals in there with my friends. I can’t imagine how many times that things been through the drive through and how many paper straws were discarded onto the floor. At some points there would be so many empty cups and soda cans they would roll around the back when I took a turn. But I never let her get too dirty, I always took her to the wash and took extra care on vacuuming the inside. Id let people trash the inside because I wanted it to be a fun environment. The times when I’d park her in some random lot and me and my friends would listen to the radio and drink. I had my first date in that car. All the CDs and hours of radio I listened to in there. I took that car on a road trip and slept in the back of it. I’ll never forget the time me and my friend drove her an hour and a half up a mountain, got to the top and realized we were completely out of gas and in a national park with no gas stations, so we had to coast all the way back down the mountain in neutral. I never got into a car accident, not so much as a fender bender. My car always kept me safe. No blind spot detection, no back up mirror, no lane drift awareness. Just me my car and my guardian angels. I remember when I first got her I actually bought her from a teacher I’d had from first through eighth grade. When I was test driving it with my family my brother tried to get in the car and slipped out for some reason and fell ass first onto the cement. My brothers best friend used to date the daughter of the cars owner and he said they had sex in that thing all the time. I felt the sexual energy from my car the whole time I had it. Never got to have sex in the back of my car, my one regret. I traded it in when buying my new car which got me 550 dollars off. I was going to try and sell it myself but it needed a lot of maintenance. I was able to get rid of it 3 days before the registration was due. I test drove tons of cars. I couldn’t decide if I wanted something similar to my Honda or something new and nice. I went for something new and nice. I didn’t want to spend a bunch of money to essentially have the same thing. My new car is a 2023 VW Taos. It cost me half the savings I’ve been building up since high school. But it’s all mine and I’m proud to own it. I want to keep it really nice. No more throwing the straw wrappers on the floor and spilt drinks. I think I’m going to get seat covers and weather proof floor mats and tinted windows. I want to take it to the car wash all the time and I wish I had a garage to keep it in. I thought it would hurt more to give away my Honda. I thought I couldn’t stand to drive a car that doesn’t have a cd player or a turn key start or no touch screen. But I feel good. I feel good about all the time I spent with my Honda and I’m really really excited about my new car. If there’s a heaven and I’m able to get there me and my Honda will be reunited like old friends. Sometimes driving her with the windows down and my CDs playing was the best feeling in the whole world.

[deada55]

@kenzieexplosion livestream 15:09:17

Kloktober 2024, day 14: Use a Halloween treat

Kenzie reviews a limited-time Duncan Hills menu item.

“Hey, welcome to my live. I’m Kenzie Explosion. This is the back of Toki’s car.”

The seats had a laser-printed cover stretching over both of them showing an anthropomorphic cat with capsular, bocce-ball boobs under a white Dethklok shirt. He found it on Temu. Kenzie had strapped her phone to the headrest in front of her with a headband, but no one needed to know that part. In her right hand, she held a monumental frozen coffee beverage.

“I told you guys it was going to be big. This year, Duncan Hills’ Halloween drink is the Dethproof Rippercino. So, uh, it’s a mocha chip base, but it has cookie crumble on the bottom, and that’s actually ripples of black sesame paste lining the cup and also mixed in with the java chips, so it tastes kind of like… I don’t know, earthy? Like the road. It’s car crash theme. It’s served affogato-style, so there’s a shot of hot espresso at the top of the cup, and there’s some grated frozen beef heart red velvet crumble on top of the black sesame-infused whipped cream. Mine kind of looks like shit because it took me a minute to get into the car, but it’s pretty good. Blenders have been breaking because of the kind of sesame paste they use, I guess, but my favorite thing about Duncan Hills is that they don’t waste anything, so sometimes there’s glass in it. It’s not really for ice chewing girlies, sorry. Have a steak and wake up, I guess.”

She took a sip and tried not to smell it too much. “I really like this year’s collab. ‘Deep-pressurized’ was a fun idea last year, but the freeze-dried raspberry mousse external cup didn’t really sit right in anything but our proprietary holder, and we ran out of those before the drink itself so it was harder than usual for me to review it, and that sucked. I had to get my dad to call the company.”

“At least now that Quartinelli Tarantella finally got busted for feet-offs and he sold some of his IP for bail, we could name a drink like this. It’s a really, really good one. Seriously. Get your hands on this one if you can.”

“Fucks!” Toki swung open the door off-camera and threw himself into the drivers’ seat, knocking her phone into the floor beside a whole collection of Magical Unicorn energy drink cans. Kenzie put her drink in a cup holder, picked up her phone, and climbed back into the front passenger seat. When she put her phone back into her hand, the viewership could briefly see that the printed seat cover didn’t just have an anthropomorphic boobjob cat, but also the artists’ rendition of Skwisgaar as an anthropomorphic wolf, licking up that pink cat’s leg.

“Kenzie! They kill the fucking barstsissa in there! Someone was live streamin’ you and trying to put all the stuff in the cup! The manager came out and shot him and made mine!” She switched the camera to show his in his hand, not catching an inch of face.

“Oh, yours looks good. Want to take a selfie?”

“Yes, but Snapcraps only.”

“Oh yeah. They have a filter for the Dethproof drink promo.”

“And cats faces!”

“You heard him, guys. I’m out. Might come back on in five. Or not. Whatever. Bye!”

[pghbabesonbikes]

FBX

by Sara Khalil

Alleycats are a fun, low-pressure way to race. That’s why I always try and get people to do them, ha. First, you’ll receive checkpoints & a spokecard. Next, you’ll make a plan to bike to one, many, or all of the checkpoints. Lastly, you’ll follow the spectacular race directors instructions to complete the alleycat and bonus, you’ll feel like a million bucks. You’ll leave the race day with your delicately positioned spokecard in your front wheel for years to come, a small yet important token proving you kick ass. 

Every alleycat is organized a little bit differently. Sometimes the checkpoints are literally an address which is definitely a win for the navigation nerds. Other times they’re mediocre riddles or even just a spot on a map (that’s not even drawn to scale 🙃). It’s likely you’ll find all the things you need at them, like rad people to keep you motivated, snacks/drinks, cheerful signs, a much needed floor pump, among other things…

The strategy for attacking an alleycat can also really vary. Buddy up with people, you can do it in a group! If you’re worried about navigating or simply just want to have fun then rely on everyone’s brain for navigation (at your own risk!) and see where you place! More competitive? Wanna see if you have the street cred to really do the thing?? Try and rely on your own navigation to get you through it, whether that is google maps or your experience driving Uber. Honestly, sometimes I just follow the tire tracks and hope for the best… 

I work for a local bike share company that hosts 2 alley-cat-style rides each year. I call these alley-cat-style because they aren't races, but more multi-destination rides that are designed to get folks of all comfort levels out for fun, social, urban rides. Even though these rides lack the big race mentality, these rides are really fun for riders of all levels, and ultimately, you can bring whatever energy you want! Bike or Treat is our Halloween alleycat that takes place the Saturday before Halloween every year (a fun scavenger hunt race), and Le Tour De Donut is our April alleycat with 4 checkpoints each stocked up with donuts from local bakeries and coffee.

We don't have registration up yet for Le Tour, but folks can see all of our upcoming events here: https://pogoh.com/events/ 

My favorite kind of alleycat is the “go fast get there first” classic style - the Frigid Bitch way!

Every year I plan to do it solo, and if someone tries to tag on I always let them know there’s a non zero chance I might ditch them because I’m in it to win it. When the checkpoints drop, I usually bust out a paper BikePGH map to get a feel for where the checkpoints are across the city, highlighting potential routes between each. I’m confident in my ability to navigate most neighborways and bike lanes. I never use technology to navigate because it kinda takes forever to be honest! If I’m gonna skip a few, it’s usually the ones that are on hills, because I’m a slow-ish climber. I have a side plan that if I make it to a certain point by a certain time, then I’ll go for them!

The plan, roughly

This year when the checkpoints dropped, I was kicking myself because I knew almost all the checkpoints from doing the training rides, but I missed the training ride that hit Climax St! Of course it was a stop for FBX. And the south side slopes are kind of my kryptonite - I almost never climb them. This meant I really had no idea how much time Climax st was going to add to my route. I decided to nix Climax and Rialto from my gameplan for the day. I didn’t think I would have time to make them. 

Jo at the lake

My first stop was the lake. From there, I promptly guided my pal to a staircase that no longer existed, then to what I believed to be the checkpoint, but what was really the weird statue/shrine in South Oakland. Once we finally found Romeo St, it was a real vibe - we ditched our bikes and ran up the stairs to someone holding a sign that said “You’re a bitch!” which warmed my soul and spotted a friend Jarrod taking photos. We quickly said hi and bye before heading down the new-to-us, fully functioning staircase that connects to Bates and swiftly hiked our bikes down it. We crossed Hot Metal Bridge to hit OTB as fast as possible. Our plan was Grandview next, but somewhere along the way my bud egged me on to try Climax and we split. Turns out, it wasn’t a bad climb (the memory is distant now, ha) ANDDD Venture Outdoors had a s’mores stop at the top. Score. 

Photo by Murphy Moschetta 

I like to move quickly, so I bombed back down to south side and made my way over to climb back up PJ McCardle. I noticed my front tire was going flat when I got to the overlook and a volunteer, Bobby, helped me pump it up. Thankfully it didn’t give me any trouble for the rest of the race. I continued on, at this point feeling a little beat from climbing up two big hills. I was solo. I hit the point and kept on rolling. Somewhere in the Strip I linked back up with Jo and she encouraged me, yet again, to go for it. I sped up to hit Rialto. The next few checkpoints are kind of a blur. I slid through Polish Hill before heading to the button to see my friend Erin, and roped my way down to the official checkpoint near the water. 

Last up, I rushed up to hit the last stop, Bananna-lenaville. I felt an emotional burst because the volunteers were counting down “10… 9… 8…” as I rolled up. I found out later, they did that for a lot of folks… good call team Bananna-lenaville! I started off to the Wheel Mill in hopes I’d get there quick! I ditched my bike on the sidewalk, ran up the stairs, and politely threw my manifest at the volunteer. FBX was in the books. I took a look around to see who was back (though it’s impossible to tell how you did) and started swapping stories. A few popular questions were floating around - “How many checkpoints did you hit?” “Who did you ride with?” “Did you hit Rialto?” Everyone had a different day. 

Proof I did it

I finished in 25th place and got ALL the checkpoints. I was pretty stoked about how I finished, but even more excited to announce a little secret my friends and I were a part of - the brand new Pittsburgh Babes on Bikes Racing team! We’re a couple of badass babes who are introducing racing to more women and under repped gender identities, organizing group rides/clinics, and generally getting more folks to get out together to try more on two wheels. Our team aims to add more novice riders as time goes on. 

photo by Monica Garrison

If you’ve ever thought about racing mountain bikes, well, this is your year! We’re hosting a bunch of pre-rides out at Yellow Creek State Park  in anticipation of one of my favorite races, the YC Monthly Grassroots series. The first pre-ride is March 23rd and the race follows the next weekend. There are three routes available - beginners tackle 8 miles, sport riders hit a 16 mile out and back with a few creek crossings, and experts go after the full 23 mile loop which has some rocky bits. Pick your distance and come check it out with us in March! Frigid Bitch racers get a discount code for race registration. 

My most prized collection

I’m looking forward to another year of Frigid Bitch. Less than a month out, I’m full of excitement wondering if I’ll get any new friends or flats along the way. What will the weather be like? What bike will I ride? Am I even going to know where the fucking checkpoints are?? Anything can happen! But it’s nice to know it’s gonna be a surprise. 

[molluskmirage]

tips and tricks I have learned in my 9 years of being mostly bedridden from ME/CFS

the first 5 years of illness was a battle and hellscape I physically dont have the capacity to process emotionally and if thats were your at as well your incredible friend, I have finally managed to get security payments and a place to live (much to be desired but its way way away from the dire circumstances I was under for years. my heart goes out to those in situations I was in)

Tip number 1:

-reframing and restructuring my goals and expectations

I was able to do this by saying that sick me is different then able bodied me. Sick me is accomplished for each day they make it to the next day. It also comes from recognizing the ‘idols’ or those that came before me in my same position and looking up to them and gleaning their knowledge. Jessica Kellegren-Fozard has been this idol for me. She goes about life with grace, love and wonder and has taught me alot on how to navigate a disabled life and to love it and have fun with it.

tip 2:

-discovering what limits my body has and keeping within those parameters (no matter how pitiful or limited it may feel) staying inside the limits means I can do more overall and refrain from boom and bust crashes

tip 3:

-REST DAYS. what an abled bodied person can accomplish in a day I might be able to do in a week. Do something one day then the next day rest. Rinse and repeat.

tip 4:

-if you ignored rest days or simply find yourself in a crash the adrenaline kick you get that makes you feel like you have energy and should do something is a trap, rest. Rest day for you! If you’ve rested and rested and rested and feel the worst youve ever felt and so hopeless that youll never return to even your base line that is the day before you are actually getting better, keep resting and cheer yourself on and comfort yourself your doing amazing.

tip 5:

-get any aid device you feel you need, (even if you feel like well maybe I dont need it maybe im just exaggerating. No. If it’s reasonably priced or you can get it through other means do. Aids are great) I love my cane. I love my rollater. Love my eyemask. Love my eyepatch. Love my shower stool. Love my sunglasses. Love my stand that holds my phone. Love my medicine bag. Love my trays that hold my miscellaneous aid tools. Love my humidifier and heater. Love my weighted blanket. Love my fidget toys and my kalimba. Would love to see if an oxygen tank might help not sure on how to go about that yet and would love a wheelchair but would need a motorized one and cant afford it (also for me I wouldn’t be able to use it much because i cant sit up for long)

tip 6:

-drinking electrolytes after my roughly weekly shower. This was a game changer for me really helped recovery rest day. Coconut water, lemon juice, gatorade, salt water, all good choices.

tip 7:

-celebrating my accomplishments. I choose to do this on the ‘birth’ of my sick self. The date of my illness was very clear and its a date I wont forget so why not make it a party to celebrate what Ive done throughout the year. Always when I approach this day I feel so down on myself because it often feels like I do literally nothing but lay in bed but when I actively go through the months and things I did on top of the victory of surviving another year I find Ive done much more then I give credit for and im so proud of myself.

tip 8:

-my weighted blanket is the greatest thing in the world. (This one may not apply for others as it can be rough to manage the heft but for me whose been an insomniac my entire life this absolutely changed my life and I can not sleep any other way, I feel like a door to door ((floor to floor)) salesman because all I want to do is share the good news)

tip 9:

-gaming has made a big impact for my social and emotional health and im very pleased and surprised by how much it has a positive effect. Very fortunately I was able to buy a device for a form fitting keypad and mouse its really great and made gaming possible with less pain.

tip 10:

-Keep a few food bars/snacks by bed.

this concludes my list off the top of my head. my eyes are getting tired now so I shall rest. Rest well other chronically ill friends!

[feverinfeveroutfic]

”this kiss”

a/n: little short one this time (time kind of got away from me this week so i had to hustle a bit)

I spent the night with Eric and Lou and I would never forget what I had heard in that next room as I was trying to fall asleep. It didn’t help that the room and the entire house had fallen dark, and I had nothing better to do than to eavesdrop on them in there.

As far as I remembered, they had gone to bed after having shared a whole bottle of wine from Paso Robles together. I, too, had gone to bed as well, but I stayed up when their laughter seemed a bit more interesting than the suggestion of going to sleep, especially when the next day was so exciting that I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep, anyway. I kept the door slightly ajar so I could have a sliver of some extra light prior to falling asleep. I had this thought that I could look on at the light and count down until I fell asleep, but I lay flat on my back and gazed up at the ceiling. The shadows all around the cottage cheese and that was all I could think about as well. A bit of cottage cheese on some crackers, that was all I could think about whenever I even attempted to fall asleep.

Some cottage cheese and some prosciutto.

Eric and Lou were downstairs, and the last glimpse I took of them, they had busted out some champagne flutes but they were laughing it up as if they had had a bunch of soda instead. We were all in the realm of royalty but we knew how to let loose every now and again, be it with our crowns or our childhood memories.

I put my hands underneath my head, and I closed my eyes. I tried to go to sleep. I thought about going downstairs to join them but I had to be well-rested for the party the next day.

I opened my eyes at the mere suggestion.

They were the one match that I had always seen as odd, simply because they had no drama between them. As much as I loved Alex and the two Chucks, I needed to breathe every now and again. I needed to see something normal and good. I was glad that they let me stay with them for the time being, that is until I found a place myself and I could find my way into the royalty on my own. I could have my own crown and my own prince once I found my own footing through it all.

The thought of them being the normal ones was enough to make me sleepy. I closed my eyes yet again when I heard the cork popping off the neck of the bottle. It was going to be a long while before they went to bed, but at that point I had no desire to fall asleep.

Their laughter floated up to the second floor and I held my breath so I could better hear the words that they were saying. I could just hear them drinking it up and laughing it up down there, but I wanted to know about the one normal couple in all of this, though.

Their words were then muffled by something. There was nothing more than a wall dividing me from the two of them, but I knew that it had nothing to do with that. There had to have been a reason why their voices had muffled down right then.

I finally sat up in bed and swung one leg out from under the blankets. I barely rested my foot on the floor lest the boards creak underneath my weight.

Maybe it was the sense of fatigue overcoming me but I had to figure it out. The one normal couple in the whole shebang, and I was witnessing some real dirt right at my fingertips. Or right at my ears, rather, and when they least suspected it as well. Even with my flagging energy and dropping eyelids, I had to find out about it.

Their whispers floated up to me as if they were ghosts on the backs of notes. I swore that I heard the words “this kiss”. I had no idea as to what they were expecting from each other, but I wished to know, and a part of me wanted to get out of bed just so I could see what was happening down there. I had to think of some kind of excuse, some sort of explanation as to why I got up again, like whenever I would explain to my parents why I got up in the middle of the night, and it was always to fetch a drink of water.

That was it.

I slid out of bed and I sauntered over to the doorway for a brief moment.

I swore that if I was going to hear the words “this kiss” one more time, I was going to have to pick myself up off the floor and see what was happening because as far as I knew, things were going crazy in there.

I wanted to know and yet I also didn’t want to know. I wanted them to have their privacy together, their champagne together, all of it all together.

And then I could hear it. The gasps. The heavy breathing. I could hear everything from up there at the doorway and I could put two and two together even from there. I needed a drink of water but then again, it was probably just my own predisposition, like a placebo effect of some sort.

Careful not to make the floor creak under me, I crept back to the comfort of my bed. I slid under the bed as I realized what they were doing downstairs and after they had kicked back a little bit of bubbly. They were bigger lightweights than me!

Bigger lightweights than me and yet I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.

I was wide awake, and I could hear everything that was going on in there. And I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.

I finally laughed myself to sleep, no less.

[wherehave-yougone]

TW!!!!!!!!! Violence and substances mentioned!!!!

THIS IS A VENT POST about something I went through that I've never told anyone before. I thought if i wrote it all out maybe I could work through it a little.

December 31 2022,

Me and my fiance at the time went to a new years party at our friend J's house and I invited one of my childhood friends. Everyone had been drinking and smoking w**d, but no one had gotten as drunk as my fiance.

When the countdown to midnight started we all went outside to light fireworks. My fiance was so drunk he fell off the porch twice, and had to be helped into a chair. He was angry and calling me names at this point, and he said he wanted to go home. We had gotten in some minor fights before where we threw things or pushed each other , I didn't want to escalate to that so I chose to not be in the same vehicle as my fiance.

J drove him while my friend and i followed behind in another car. They got my fiance inside and put him in bed. Everyone had left ( or so i thought).

I went to put a blanket over my fiance.. He got up and charged towards me. I calmed him down a little and he went to the bathroom, but shortly after came running out to charge at me again. He grabbed me by the wrists pushing me in no particular direction. After some struggle I pushed him onto the couch but he still had hold of my arms tightly. I was frozen with shock and fear. I kept repeating "its ok it's ok its ok" in a whisper to try to rationalize what was happening. The only other words i managed to say were "im sorry please I know its my fault" even though I didnt know what i was apologizing for. He kept trying to swing his fists and kick his legs at me for what felt like hours, but was luckily too drunk to really land any hits.

I managed to call J while still being held by my arms and told him I needed help. J responded with " just call the cops and let them take him". I didn't want him to go to jail and ruin his life... Our life. So i called his parents. They said I should "relax it cant be that bad" to which I screamed "come get your son or the cops will". They showed up 30 minutes later (they only live 10 minutes away) and didn't try to stop him at all.

Once I finally got away from him I hid in a gap between the stove and the counter. His parents let him run around trying to find me until he gave up and they got him in their car. I handed my engagement ring to his mom and she pushed it back towards me saying "just wait until tomorrow to make a decision". His parents tried to convince me to get over it multiple times until they left and took him with them.

I don't know if it was from the shock or just needing to get away, but i ran outside to the parking lot. My childhood friend had been in his truck trying to sober up before heading home, and saw me run out. After explaining what happened we went back inside to start cleaning everything that had been broken from the fight.

After putting the lamp back on the broken table with my busted pineapple clock, I fell to the floor and started sobbing. With no energy to move, i laid there in a crumpled ball all night while my friend sat next to me just listening to me cry... 11 years of tears and anger came out that night. All of the things I had held in for so long surfaced and kept pouring out uncontrollably.

Morning finally came, as my phone started ringing. "Why am I at my parents" he said in an angry tone. I explained to him what had happened ... "Bullsh*t that didn't happen, im coming home right now f*ck you dont lie to me". I begged him not to come home yet, i said I was scared and needed time. He stayed away for a week until he decided it had been long enough and once he came home he saw the bruises on my arms. they were so bad i had to wear long sleeves at work for a month.

In that month things escalated. Every time I tried to talk to him I'd end up screaming and manic but I didn't know why. He drank every day even though he promised he would go to AA and get help. He would try to convince me to stay the night with him and every time i did he would be mad I didn't want to have s*x. I just wanted to be held but that "wasn't fair to his needs".

Through all of this my friend was trying to get approved on a trailer for us to live in, and that just pushed my fiance over the edge, but I needed a break and didn't trust any of my other friends anymore to stay with them. After signing the lease my fiance would call me and yell for hours about how I was a wh*re ,and I deserved to d*e ,and how he'd str*ngle my friend and "h*ng him by his dreadlocks". Then he would switch to how he was sorry and that I shouldn't be with someone like him and that I deserved better. He would threaten to k*ll himself multiple times, he took pills so much i had to call his dad to make sure he was ok.

One day he called and said he was going to k*ll himself and sounded serious. I had my friend drive me to him as fast as possible while my fiance was screaming profanity at me over the phone the whole way. As I walked in he put a g*n to his head and said "look at what you've done". I panicked and started hitting his chest to try to get him to stop. Finally he put it down and said " sorry I'm not in my right mind" and convinced me he wouldn't do it if I stayed the night. I agreed (I'm an idiot). We laid in bed cuddling when he tried to convince me to have s*x again and got mad like usual because I didn't want to. He told me i was over reacting and that "its not like he r*ped me" so he didn't understand why i didn't want to have s*x. We ended up fighting the whole night until sunrise.

After that I didn't go back until the weekend was over. Upon entering the apartment I found condoms all over the bed, and some drawing clearly done by a girl on the kitchen table. I called him crying. He had been begging me to come back while he was f*king some other girl. The same days he said I was his soulmate and he loved me, he had another girl on our couch holding my cat, taking my home.

A few more days past and he messaged me saying that he was done. He told me I could keep the engagement ring because "he wanted his first love to always keep it", He said that he found someone and they made him happy. He said just because he's happy doesn't mean he doesn't miss me.. And that maybe other people needed us in their lives more right now.. He told me we could be friends.

August 5th 2023 came and he said that he wanted the engagement ring back and I needed to come get one last box of stuff. The box was full of my childhood pictures and all the love notes I'd written him.. Even the most recent one. I was crushed seeing him in person again. I saw his new girl through the window holding my cat in the apartment I picked out for us... I told him he had been my best friend and that I would always love him but he hurt me, to which he said "you'll get over it". This was not the man i loved for all those years.. This was a stranger. As my friend drove us back I broke down screaming and crying about how much i wanted to d*e. My friend just stayed quiet and let me get it out the whole way home.

Days turned into weeks and I was still crying. I still am and its been 124 days since I last saw him... I don't know if i cry because I miss him or if I cry because the pain he caused wont go away. I know I cry because I lost my cat, my baby. He took him after promising I could have him and I'll never be able to see his orange face ever again... This is what crushes me most, To the point that I've decided to not have children so I never have to be that attached to something or someone again.

Not even a week ago he blocked me on everything just so he could post pictures of his new girl. He hated taking pictures. He never let me post selfies of my own. I haven't made a post on regular social media in a year and I feel pathetic... I feel stupid for still feeling hurt over what he does. He promised to be my best friend no matter what, he broke every other promise so why would he keep this one..

Its been months since that incident and just now people from my friend group are reaching out to me to ask how i am. And to tell me how my ex has ghosted everyone for his new girlfriend. So since they don't have him they think they can be friends with me again. Ha! Yeah f*cking right. No one was there for me except the people i talk to now and I'm not going to let that go. They all had bad things to say about the person i live with now but couldn't be there when i needed help ? go jump off a bridge you f*cks.

No one in my old life cared. I could starve and cut and take dr*gs and they would tell me I needed to lose more weight or needed to take more dr*gs cuz I was too uptight. My ex didn't even care when I lost 40 lbs from not eating. He just told me i was stupid . He threw a hashbrown at me once and said i was ret*rded cuz it was just food and that i shouldn't be crying cuz I wanted to eat it but couldn't make myself.

Some days I see how bad my past was.. Other days im blinded by the good memories and cry because I wonder if I made the right choice. I lost my cat, my fucking baby, over all of this. I lost the person I called my soulmate and my best friend, the person i thought was going to hold my wrinkly hand when im old...the thought of losing that still makes me cry even now... and I lost my hometown because I ran away. But I have gained a lot too since leaving.

I've started dating the person i live with. He was there through it all and showed me just how amazing of a person he is. I always felt a connection but my love for my ex was always too strong to make me think of anyone else. But now I find myself becoming more attached to my new bf. I can be vulnerable. Even if he isn't the best with words or advice, he listens. He doesn't tell me to stop crying, he just holds me until i do. I didn't intend to love someone else so quickly, and i may not be fully healed but that's ok. I am building myself back up with him. And he is very patient. We have our own issues, every relationship does, but I feel like maybe i can get through this trauma a little easier when hes there. I'm afraid to ever be that connected to someone again though... I dont know if I'll ever trust someone the way i did with my ex.. I might never let myself fully love again. And that is my payment for loving someone deeper than the ocean. Guard your heart until you know the person you love will guard it for you. And treat every day like its the last you'll see your loved ones or pets.. Because for me it was. Knowing they're 30 minutes away and I'll never be able to see them again will forever be something i have to live with and work through... But it will hurt me until the day i die.

If you read all of this, i just want to say thank you. You took the time out of your day to read some strangers life story, which shows you care more than anyone in my life currently. You are awesome <3 feel free to message or follow, I follow back <3

[nathank77]

6/14/24

9:40 p.m

It took me awhile to fall asleep. I used the older xanax just to troubleshoot if the newer stuff was fake. I guess not cause if it was- I would have passed out immediately. I slept solidly through the night until 3 p.m. I peeded and then I laid back down and was out until 4:14 p.m without drugs... that's a good thing but I don't like sleeping that late cause I may struggle to sleep tonight.

Anyways I was going to game but I was aggravated and my house is always a hell hole. I have this whole dilemma:

1) I want to finish the attic and the shared closet/my room but not in that order. I want to finish the shared closet. Then my room closet. Then the attic. Cause I want to bring my nicest things down from the attic for clothes and put them in a storage bin on top of my movies storage bin and my blanket storage bin which I want an extra set of sheets and an one extra pillow top mattress cover for when I inevitably spill juice on my bed which is fairly common and the later I do it at night I can't wash it and I have to sleep on a towel. So I'm going to buy a pillow top mattress cover. Not extra sheets I'll ask for that for Christmas. Wash it and put it in the storage bin in the shared closet.

2) The dilemma is I want to join the gym Monday but- if I join before I get all this stuff done it will become a tedious project and I'll be hellbent on using my very expensive gym membership bc I'm joining at the wrong time of the year. If I joined January 1st or something it would be a 1$ start up fee instead of a 60$ start up fee.

I don't want to lose my fire for either things bc it's coming to a head. The true dilemma is that the gym is going to be 70$ to start out of pocket Monday if I joined.

I want to keep buying l salivarius. I want to give cbd one more month. I want to get storage bins so I can continue my organization. I want to buy that pillow top mattress cover. And I'd really like to buy a microfiber queen sized blanket as a comforter... I have one already and I would swap them... put the old one in the storage bin in the closet with the old pillow top mattress cover as a spare.

The dilemma really is money and how I spend it and energy. Yea I can go Monday to the gym and swipe my card and start working out but then I'm out a decent amount of money and I still got to pay for the annual fee two months later.... and then I can't really afford the storage bins... I can't really afford the pillow top mattress cover or the microfiber blanket... it would be nice to have a spare washed and conveniently put away in the shared closet..

So idk what to do. I ended up cleaning out our shared closet. I put all the water bottles in a huge box. I got out 3 old comforters that were on the floor and put them in that box. I threw away a bunch of drinks. The closet is CLEAN! but not done yet.

I already have two storage bins thanks to Katie. One clear smaller one without a top unfortunately but with movies and one large gray one with those waters. I had to clean the water one out with antibacterial stuff cause a soda busted in there. I cleaned that out. Put my movies in there and they fit much better so that's done.... I'm happy with it.

Then I grabbed the storage bin my sister provided me from the basement and used antibacterial spray on it and put the blankets in it. I still got to wash the blankets and I may throw out a few in order to fit the old pillow top mattress cover when i get a new one and the old microfiber blanket when I get a new one. There are def a few blankets in there I wouldn't feel bad about throwing out... but I didn't have time to wash them yet, that's a later activity..

I have the clear bin without a top on top of the blanket storage bin. It has virtually nothing in it but I felt the need to "set it all up" so my mother didn't take over the nice space I created. I absolutely plan to buy the smaller clear storage bin and grab the nicer clothes from the attic basically only what I just put up there, my old medium boxers, the shorts and pj pants and the old shirts with coconut oil stains. They are all nice stuff and once I get the stains out they are wearable..

So this is my updated list. I feel accomplished and below that is what the closet looks like now. I got to figure out if putting the gym off and spending extra money on the bins and blankets make sense. Now that I have an almost perfect set up just lacking the clothes, the lid, and the extra bedding, it's like I want to do that but I can't do the gym and that. I got to figure it out.

Imma wait on my sister to get me more storage bins for free. I can buy them from Walmart but Walmart will only ship the clear smaller ones for free otherwise its store pick up... my car can't fit them.... so me and my sister have to go grab some in her truck.. whenever she will work with me on that.. I'd at least buy a few for the attic.. to get that going.

I mean I could benefit from 2 or 3 of the clear bins. One for the shared closet for my clothes. One for stuffed animals like from my childhood up in the attic prob the one without a top... but I mean- I really need the huge ones. I like that they are clear but they lack the space to be worth the money honestly.

So yea I'm over here going if I spend all this money between l salivarius and the blanket, the pillow top and a few clear storage bins/the larger ones... not to mention cbd next month when I get paid-i have to put the gym off.

Also energy wise even if I had the money I don't have the energy to start fitting in the gym and doing all this stuff around the house...

Erin won't be a therapist anymore in July... so my time will really free up... I will try to get on Mike's schedule two days a week and then I can really fit the gym in even with this amount of stuff left to do... I'm not going to bother looking for another therapist cause I'm a voice hearing trans person. I'm done with the rejection.

But yea, I wish I could join the gym, buy all this stuff and have the money. I wish I could do both the gym and finish this project without worrying about putting one off... if I spend all that money on the gym, I can't not commit. That's the thing. Part of me is like wait until January. If I don't kill myself... all these new years resolutions... it's always 1$ start up new years.. but I mean I've plateau weight wise and those skinny jeans will not fit if I don't go...

I got a lot to think about. Should I keep buying 100mg of cbd? Should I keep buying l salivarius when it can be so good for someone with gum disease despite its cost? Should I forget about the dentist until my annual instead of calling Husky and paying out of pocket which I can't really afford for a 6 month cleaning and give up on my brown stained tooth and just do whitening strips in January? Should I finish my house projects while I'm motivated before I join the gym when money is going to be an issue? Should I say fuck the attic and go to the gym?

Idk..money is tight. I want organization. I want the stuff that didn't get destroyed to stay not destroyed. I want that clear storage bin with my nicer clothes to stay down here with me. I want the extra blanket and I def NEED the extra pillow top mattress cover cause I'm a spiller and I'm stuck in my room 24/7. I spilled tea on my bed 2 night ago and had to sleep in a wet spot.

If I put off the gym I got one pair of jeans. If I go to the gym, I will spend 59$ more on a start up fee and my house projects will come to a screeching hault bc for one I can't buy the storage bins. For two I'm going to use all my energy going to the gym and on the days I don't go I won't want to do anything. Once I don't have Erin as a therapist and I figure out what day Mike can see me my schedule will clear off a little making the gym easier to fit in...

Money will never be easy... the closer i get to January the more I think 1$ start up fee... saving 59$ that I could spend on stuff I need makes sense but I really want my body to be the best it can be.

What should I do? Idk. Even buying all this stuff on credit will be tight but it's on credit and as long as I don't do glasses (that's never happening), and I don't do the 6 month teeth cleaning and I put off my gym membership.. I mean I can do that. I can do the gym but I can't swipe my card on the stuff I want to buy.

Do I need l salivarius right now? Nope but it makes sense to put it on the 100$ no interest if paid off in 6 month thing with all the storage bins.

So yea that's where I am. This is what I have left to do. And I'm confused but the shared closet although not finished is in a finished state just missing the lid and the clothes from the attic but I'll do that another day.

Idk if I'm doing the car wash tomorrow. Idk If I'm going out for a chicken tomorrow. Dads house on Sunday is stressful and I have to drive all the way over there... gas money. Money issues constantly and bc I didn't really relax at all today- maybe I should tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed.

[eddiebillysteve]

play the game

(( dead dove: do not eat ))

pairing | billy hargrove/steve harrington 

summary | after kidnapping steve, billy wants to play a game of russian roulette. ( OR i watched law and order svu last night and this idea hit me and please read warnings bc this is some dead dove: do not eat shit )

a/n | honestly debated on posting this bc it's pretty fucked up but if people are interested in law and order svu then maybe some people would be intrigued by something intense like this. BILLY LIVES RENT FREE AS A SOFT BABY GIRL IN MY HEAD OK I LOVE HIM AND THIS IS JUST A COMPLETE AU ONESHOT PLEASE DON'T HATE ME sSDIGSDIGSDpgndsgin. find it on ao3 here !!

warnings | kidnapping, russian roulette, referenced past murder/r*pe, threats of torture, violence, gun violence, drugging, forced alcohol, restraints/duct tape, dosgndsogsosdng pleasE don't read if you're sensitive to dark matter i love you please stay safe

All right! It’s zee wango, zee tango!

Billy smacked his hands against the steering wheel as the music started up. He’d put in his favourite mixtape, one he’d spent too long working on that had all of his favourite hype songs on it. They were the tunes that got him wound up and full of energy, the ones that made him bounce in his seat and feel ready for a fight. 

But there was no need to fight this time. 

He took a glance at the back seat, smile spreading over his face. Steve looked so sweet while he slept, and even sweeter with a face covered in bruises. His lip was busted and one of his eyes so swollen they were close to closing up, yet he still looked so gorgeous, so pretty. 

With a soft little groan, the pretty boy’s good eye fluttered open. He knew he was moving, but he had no idea how. He couldn’t process that he was in a car, on a highway. He could feel the blanket atop him and his hair sticking to his forehead, but he couldn’t move. 

He couldn’t speak, either. There was thick black tape over his mouth. 

Hargrove turned down the music a bit and pulled his car over to the curb. “Didn’t mean to wake you, sweetheart. So used to playing my music real loud, didn’t think anything of it.” 

Steve started to come back to life a bit more then. He took in his surroundings and tried to sit up a bit. His feet and hands were bound by the same tape that covered his mouth, and it was useless to try to pull them free. When he was just starting to try to shove the blanket off, Billy was crawling into the back seat, coming close enough that Steve froze up. 

Billy.

Memories hit him almost as hard as the panic. Being tied to a chair, cigarettes being put out on his chest, the butt of a gun hitting his forehead so hard that the entire world went black. 

“Shh, shh,” Billy cooed, reaching to stoke a hand over Steve’s hair. It was greasy and stuck in the blood on his forehead, but Billy didn’t care. “Easy now, Stevie. It’s just me. You overwhelmed? Music still too loud? It’s alright. I know you probably have a killer headache.” But he made no move to turn the volume down. “We’re in the car, baby. You’re in the backseat. I told you you’d wake up in here. You need to learn to trust me.” His fingers moved to the duct tape that was plastered to Steve’s mouth. “You gonna be a good boy for me if I take this off? Don’t want any screaming. No one’s gonna hear you out here, anyway, sweetheart. We’re almost there now. Almost at our perfect place.” 

After Harrington gave a little nod, Billy pulled the tape off with one quick motion. It hurt, the lips beneath were stripped of a layer or two of delicate skin, but Steve was just happy to be able to breathe a little easier. He gasped for air for a few seconds before attempting to speak. “Water,” His voice was weak, hoarse. “Need water.” 

“I’ll give you some water after you have another drink,” Billy cooed some more, reaching across to a bag he had on the floor of the car. He pulled out a bottle of straight vodka, a bottle of water, and a prescription bottle of pills.

“Please,” Steve croaked when he saw the bottle being twisted off the vodka bottle. He didn’t want alcohol. “Water.” 

“You’ll get some water. Be patient,” Billy scolded softly in response, shaking his head a bit. One hand went to hold Steve’s chin, pressing hard on his cheeks to force his mouth open, and then the other proceeded to pour vodka down his throat. 

Steve sputtered and choked, coughing on it and making a mess, but Billy didn’t mind. He merely leaned forward to lick the liquid off of his fingers, Steve’s chin, his neck. 

Another whimper for water came, and Billy chuckled as he pulled back. “Right. Some water for you now. I told you I’d give you some after you had a drink, and I’m keeping my word. I always keep my word, don’t I? Just like when I told you I was going to put my cigarette out on your pretty chest, and I did.” Steve’s face crumpled until Billy held the water bottle up. Even when he tried to lean forward to get a swig, it was still out of his reach. “And just like when I told you I was going to fuck your whore of a mother in front of your piece of shit father before ending them, which I did.”

The words hung in the air for a moment before finally, he brought the water to Steve’s lips, and the boy thought he was in heaven for a moment. The liquid was room temperature, but it may as well have been ice cold. It felt so good on his tongue and sliding down his throat; the horrible taste of the alcohol was washed away and the residual burning in his throat was soothed. 

But then it was gone. 

He was sure he’d barely had a few mouthfuls when Billy pulled it away. 

“And now I’m telling you that when you wake up again, we’ll be home, and I’ll get to play with you properly. I’m going to have so much fun with you, Stevie. Really gonna scar you up and make you mine.” The words fell on deaf ears because the only thing Steve could focus on was the water bottle. He tried to shift towards it, desperate to feel it on his sandpaper tongue again. “I’ll tell you what. You take some medicine for me, and you can wash it down with some water. That sound good?” Hargrove popped open the medicine bottle in his hands. He took out two pills and held them to Steve’s mouth. “Open, and you get some water.” 

Steve had no idea what they were but he didn’t care. All he cared about was the water, and as soon as he opened his mouth and let Billy press the pills to his tongue, the water was brought back to his lips. It wasn’t immediately taken away again and he chugged it until the bottle was empty, and by that point his eyes were heavy again. 

“Night, princess. When we wake up, you’ll finally be home.” 

Then the world went black. 

***

The next time he opened his eyes, Steve was in a room. It was dark, dingy, but he was on a bed that smelt clean enough. He could see a dresser, see horribly outdated wallpaper, and a door. It was so close, just a few feet away, but when he tried to move, he couldn’t. 

His wrists and ankles were bound to the bed, scratchy rope biting into his skin. 

He started to pull against them, desperate to break free of the binds, when Billy, looking fresh and clean, came wandering in through the door. His face lit up like a kid on Christmas when he saw Steve was awake. “My sleeping beauty! You’re awake!” 

Steve tried to talk, tried to plead to be let go, but he was silenced by the duct tape and how groggy he was. He felt hungover and tired, but mostly frightened. The fear was all consuming, gnawing at his stomach like a parasite. 

“I’m sorry if you were awake on your own for awhile. Had to pop out and get a few things. I love hardware stores, you know? They have everything. Rope, tarps, blowtorches,” Billy’s smile turned sinister then, like it had when he’d delivered the death blow to Mr Harrington’s head, but it was just for a moment, and Steve froze. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. The fear paralyzed him. “Oh, it’s alright, sweetheart.” And then Hargrove’s face was melting into something sweet. “I only got the blowtorch in case you try to leave me. You know what I’d do it you tried to run?” He grabbed one of Steve’s ankles and yanked off his sock in order to run his fingers along his foot. “I’ll melt all the skin off these pretty feet of yours, and then you won’t be able to try again. And if you do?” His finger trailed to the back of Steve’s ankle. “Then I cut right along here. I don’t want to have to do these things, Stevie, but you’re mine now. I can’t have you running away, can I?” 

The smile he gave Steve was no longer sinister, but soft, somehow, even though he was talking about torture. All Steve could do was stare at him. He didn’t entirely feel present, like his mind was somewhere else and his body was left at mercy to the man before him.

Billy reached over to pull off Steve’s second sock for good measure before letting him go completely and grabbing the gun out from the place it was tucked into the back of his jeans. “I want to play a game now, sweetheart. You ever hear of Russian roulette? I’ve always wanted to try it.” 

He climbed up and onto the bed, and then atop of Steve to straddle his torso. Once he was comfortable, he made a show of dumping the bullets out of his revolver and plucking a single one off of Steve’s chest to load back into it. He spun the cylinder around and then closed it up. “You feeling lucky, Stevie? Lucky enough for the both of us?” He grinned again when he realized the man beneath him was sobbing. His body shook, one good eye getting red and puffy. After a few seconds, he reached to pull off the duct tape from his mouth again, and was greeted with the sweetest sob he’d ever heard. “Shh, baby. It’s alright. I’ll go first. I’m not afraid of dying, but I hope for your sake I don’t take the bullet. It’d be a real slow death for you to die on this bed. Going from dehydration if horrific, I’ve heard.” 

And then the gun was brought up to his temple. 

“Don’t, don’t. Don’t do this,” Steve was almost in hysterics, and Billy was thriving off it. He was loving every last second of it. It was like he’d taken a hit of the finest cocaine in the world. “Please, don’t do this.” He squeezed his eyes shut, but was immediately met with gentle tapping to his cheek. 

“Stevie,” Billy’s voice was a gentle song. “Eyes open, or you’ll go first. Open them. Now.” 

But Steve turned his head away, keeping his eyes firmly shut. He didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to see the brain matter and blood splatter across the room when the bullet shot through his head.

Hargrove grabbed his chin and snapped his head back up straight, violently enough that Steve’s eyes shot back open. He was met with the sight of the gun pressed to the little spot between his eyes and he was silenced. He couldn’t beg, couldn’t plead for his life. He couldn’t even sob. Billy moved the gun down over his nose, and then hesitated for a second in order to shove his fingers into Steve’s battered cheeks to get him to open up, just like he had with the vodka earlier that night. 

Then he slid the gun into his mouth. 

The metal felt cold and heavy against Steve’s tongue. Billy pushed it in far enough to make him gag, taking a second to fuck his mouth with it and enjoy the sight. 

“Fine. You can go first, then, honey, if you really want to. Don’t tell me you want to die already? I’ve not even gotten the chance to play with you,” Billy pouted at him, mockingly. “Who’s going to be your last thought, baby? Your parents? A girlfriend?” He wrinkled his nose. “Or someone else? Me? I’ll be the last thing you see, I’d love to be the last thing on your mind, too.” He pulled the gun out when Steve gagged and tapped it against his too-white teeth as he took a second to think. “Right. Enough dilly-dallying. Let’s play. You ready? On the count of three. Keep your eyes open for me.” 

It wouldn’t be a problem this time; Steve wasn’t able to close them even if he tried. They were fixed on Billy, his eyes, his grin. His pupils were so blown, Steve was positive the man had to be on some sort of drugs.

“Good boy. Keep your eyes on me. Three.” He skipped the first two numbers and pulled the trigger. 

The bullet didn’t go off and Steve choked out a sob around the gun. It was a strangled sound, almost animalistic, and Billy finally pulled the gun out entirely to listen to it properly. 

“Lucky boy,” he cooed, putting the gun right back up to his own temple. “What do you think, sweetheart? Will I be as lucky as you?” He pulled the trigger without any sort of hesitation, and no bullet went off. “Again?” He grinned a big, wicked grin, and pulled the trigger again, and again. Both times nothing happened, but Steve was wailing harder by the second. His wrists were yanking so hard against his restraints that the skin was rubbed raw, starting to crack and drip blood. “That’s it, pretty boy. Sing for me. I love to hear it. Only two rounds left, you think I’m going to get lucky again?”

What Steve didn’t know was that the bullet was a blank. It wouldn’t actually shoot. He’d switched the bullets out for blanks when Steve had been sleeping, solely for the game. Neither of their lives were in any real danger, at least not because of the gun.

“Don’t do it, don’t,” Steve sobbed and sobbed. He could barely get any words out of his mouth, they were struggling to form and were coming out as incoherent babble. 

Billy snickered and clicked the gun again. That time, Steve screeched and shut his eyes. 

But nothing happened. Even if it had been a real bullet, Billy would have gotten lucky. “Open your eyes. Look at me,” he murmured. It took a bit of coaxing, but when Steve finally opened his eyes again, he opened the chamber and let the bullet fall out onto Steve’s chest. “Let this be a lesson for you, Stevie, that I always get what I want. I want to live? I live. I want you? I have you. You’re mine now. All mine.” 

And then, like they were lovers who had just spent a few minutes teasing each other as foreplay, Billy bent down to kiss him. It was rough and hard and possessive, a power move to remind Steve who he now belonged to. 

Russian roulette may have been over, but the real game was just beginning. 

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Burnout (Bucky x reader)

“Burnout”

Bucky x reader

Warnings: burnout, overworked, mental breakdown/panic attack

Word count: 3377

A/N: Take care of yourself, burnout is real and you CAN get sick. Trust me. I’m always here if you wanna talk to someone about anything or want another friend. Stay strong <3

Includes: Lyrics from the song “Weight of the World” by Citizen Soldier

Tags: @buckys2thicc @thatfangirl42 @thundering-barnes @abitgryffindorky @ladyfallonavenger

---------

These nights were becoming more common. And that wasn’t a good thing.

You sat at your desk surrounded by papers, empty cans of energy drinks, and a bright laptop screen. You held your head in your hands and you tried to keep your eyes awake, turning the screen brightness higher. 

1:46 AM

You sighed and rubbed your eyes, trying to rub the sleep out of them. You took your hands away and looked back at the screen briefly before covering your face again. 

You lived with the Avengers and were a huge asset to the team. Not only were you enhanced with powers, but you were incredibly intelligent. That being the case, you worked with Tony and Bruce in the lab either developing new ideas or fixing suits after missions. As well as being on the mission yourself. Therefore you trained early every morning with Steve and Bucky. You also did most of the mission reports, switching off with Steve once and a while.

Most nights you could be found either working through paperwork, down in the lab working into the morning with Tony, or researching for new projects in said lab. You never meant to stay up as late as you did, but no matter how hard you worked, more work kept appearing. Every 10 PM soon turned into 2 AM, and you could never quite catch a break. You had turned to caffeine not long ago, quickly using it as a crutch to supplement sleep. 

You had just gotten back from a long mission with the team, and were incredibly sore. Steve hadn’t gone on this mission, leaving you to finish the report. Add to that, Tony wanted to make a better suit for Peter, and Sam’s wings were busted. Tony was working on Peter’s suit, wanting to make it perfect, leaving you with fixing the wings for Sam. 

You decided to work on Sam’s Falcon suit first, seeing that you lived on Planet Earth and he could be scheduled for another mission at any time. What seemed to be superficial damage turned out to be extensive, and required much more repairing that you had anticipated. What you had planned to be a 2 hour process had turned into just over a day of work in the lab. 

Not wanting to lose your place and needing a distraction from the soreness, you had worked for hours straight, only breaking to relieve yourself every so often. You were exhausted and ready to fall asleep when you laid back in your bed. Only to check your notifications and see an email from Fury requesting the mission report immediately.

Sent hours ago.

Which led you to where you were now. You hadn’t slept in almost 48 hours, sore from the mission, with a tedious mission report to fill out. Taking a deep breath, you removed your hands from your face.

 2:07 AM.

You groaned, but brought your hands back to the keyboard and began typing. The words were blurring together and you shook your head a few times trying to stay awake. Somehow, you finished the report and sent it off and looked at the time again.

3:13 AM

You rubbed your temples before climbing back into your bed, sighing out as your eyes filled with tears. It wasn’t uncommon for you to go to bed this late/early. Lately Tony had been coming up with more ideas and would ask you to help. Since Tony works through most of the night, you had learned to do the same. You don’t remember the last time you had more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep. 

You were off the hook for training for a few days, due to having just gotten back from a mission. And while you had been hesitant at first, you were grateful now that you had a bit more time to sleep. Despite the caffeine you had consumed to stay awake, you were absolutely exhausted. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes but you tried to breathe through it. You just wanted a break but couldn’t seem to catch one. 

You curled into yourself as your stomach began to growl. ‘When was the last time I ate?’ you thought. Not that it mattered, there was nothing that could bring you out of your bed at that moment. You drifted off to sleep.

-----

You woke up to your phone chiming and groaned, picking it up to see what was so important. Your eyes find the top message, informing you that the mission report you had submitted was incomplete. You jolted out of bed and over to your desk to begin working on the report again, biting back tears of embarrassment at such a ridiculous error on your part. How could you have been so tired that you missed an entire section of a report?

You cracked open another energy drink that you kept in your room and began guzzling it. You were still in the same clothes as the day before and you hadn’t taken your hair down from it’s bun in days. Your stomach grumbled but you answered it with more of the energy drink. You would deal with hunger later. This was much more important. 

Your head was pounding and you could barely sit up straight. You had barely gotten a few hours of sleep and somehow felt more tired than you had before it. Your sight became more blurry as it became harder to suppress the tears. You were angry at yourself, why couldn’t you just get this one fucking thing done?

You worked through the section quickly, or at least, you tried to. You kept having to reread sections, not comprehending what the words were saying anymore. You rubbed your eyes aggressively and shook your head, trying to concentrate. You reached to grab the energy drink again, but instead accidentally spilled it all over yourself. Letting out a “Fuck!” as you stood up, something inside you snapped. 

You threw the can across the room, not caring how much was left inside of it. You flipped your chair and crumbled the miscellaneous papers on your desk. You let out a scream of frustration, and threw a picture frame across the room. After which, you bent over and placed your hands on your knees, small sobs beginning to wrack your body. You were just so tired, you had work to do, but you couldn’t do it no matter how simple it was. 

You walked around the mess and into your bathroom, closing the door. You turned on the shower and got in, not even bothering to take off your clothes or wait for it to warm up. You didn’t care. You couldn’t. You sank to the floor, tears streaming down your face as the shower began to warm. You couldn’t bring yourself together, every time you tried to calm down a new wave of frustration and exhaustion would hit you and you would start crying all over again. You held your hand to your chest, trying to catch your breath a little, not having much success. You were gasping for air, it felt like you were breathing fire. Unable to fight it anymore, you started choking out lyrics to one of your go-to sad songs.

Feel the weight of the world over me tonight.

If I break, if I break down this time

You took a shaky breath and choked out the next line

Hope you know I tried…

Meanwhile, Bucky had been thinking about you. The two of you were very close, you had been ever since Steve had introduced you to him. He was in awe of how you could both rival Tony in the lab and himself in the training room. That and how much you did for others. You had helped him a lot when Bucky had first come to the compound. And he was very grateful.

He knew you had gotten back from a mission a few days ago, and were probably exhausted. From what he had heard it had been a brutal mission. However, in the past, you had usually gotten back into the routine of daily life pretty quickly. He hasn’t so much as seen you since you got back. 

He couldn’t help but worry.

He decided to go to your room to check on you, seeing as it was later in the morning and you had had a chance to sleep. Little did he know, you hadn’t. When he got to your door he knocked and waited for a response. He was met with nothing. However, with his enhanced hearing, he heard muffled singing from inside. He couldn’t hear the words, but you sounded in pain. 

My mind’s such a mess, I can’t handle it, I’m at the end of my rope.

Worried, he let himself in and took in the state of the room. It was completely trashed, shattered glass, overturned furniture, crumbled papers. He heard the shower running and could hear your cries through the lyrics

My neck is breaking body shaking

Sometimes it’s so hard to breathe

But no one sees it follows me i always end up underneath

The weight of the world…

You began coughing, still gasping for air and holding your chest. Bucky came over to the bathroom door and opened it, concerned you were in pain. You were sitting on the floor, drenched and shaking. Steam filled the room, fogging up the mirrors. He came over to you, trying to get your attention but you couldn’t hear him. Worried, he stepped into the shower as well, swearing as it burned his skin. He crouched down in front of you and took your face in his hands, trying to guide your face to his.

“Y/n, y/n can you hear me? Can you look at me?” he said. 

Coming back to your senses slightly, you tried to figure out who was in front of you. You grabbed one of his forearms and focused your eyes, still struggling to breathe. You found Bucky’s blue eyes looking back at you.

Bucky, knowing you were now aware of his presence, reached to turn off the water while still maintaining eye contact. You were coughing, choking on each breath, still shaking and crying. Bucky had never seen you like this. You tried looking around again, forgetting briefly where you were and what had happened, breath picking up again in confusion.  “Hey, hey, y/n? I need you to keep your eyes on me okay?”

“It...hurts..” you gasped out, feeling like fire filled your lungs. Your arms had gone numb and in the absence of the warm water your wet body was now shivering from both the cold and anxiety. 

Bucky quickly looked you up and down. “What hurts, y/n?” he said calmly but firmly even though he was freaking out internally.

Fresh tears spilled out of your eyes. You tried to talk but couldn’t speak through your panic. You rubbed your chest, willing your heart to slow down but it wouldn’t. 

Bucky, still keeping his eyes locked on yours, said “Listen, y/n, I need you to try and breathe with me slowly, okay? Like this,” he breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. You tried to copy him and after a few breaths lost your pace. You shook your head. “I can’t…. I...I…”

. “It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re safe y/n. Try again, I’m right here okay? Look at me.” he said, still breathing deeply. Eventually, you were able to find a rhythm and catch your breath, becoming aware of the situation and everything that had happened. Now able to breathe, you felt new tears of shame rush to your eyes. There were a few moments of silence

“What happened?” Bucky asked, concern etched on his face. 

You let out a small sob and covered your face, and Bucky’s heart shattered. He had never seen anyone this upset, nevermind you. You had always been so strong, energetic, joyful. And here you were, soaking wet and shaking on the shower floor. What the hell had happened to you? 

He stood up and got out of the shower, also soaked, but he didn’t care about that right now. He leaned down and put one arm behind your back and the other looped under your knees and he picked you up. He placed you down on the vanity and stood in front of you. He carefully took your wrists and pulled them away from your face, you looking at him through bloodshot eyes. 

“You - you’re soaked,” you said, both out of shock and in an attempt to deflect the attention from you.

“Wh- I mean, yeah, so are you,” Bucky said. “Y/n, can you tell me what happened?”

You looked down at your hands and swallowed thickly, embarrassed. “I, uh…” you cleared your throat. What had happened? You closed your eyes and rubbed your head. 

The shower

The song

Your room

The report

The energy drink

Oh fuck

You sighed out “Shit, I just…” again, shame began to overtake you. “It’s stupid, forget about it,” you said, trying to stand up. 

Bucky stopped you, confused. “Y/n, whatever just happened, that…  That’s not caused by something stupid. I’ve never seen you so upset before. Hell I’ve never seen anyone so upset before. But I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“Really, Buck, I’m fine,” you said.

“Then why are you trying not to cry?”

You sighed. There was no other way out of this. You looked at him and said, “I was just done.” You looked back down at your hands, and continued trying to keep the waiver out of your voice. “I just, um...After the mission I had to fix Sam’s wings, and it took me longer than I expected. And then I still had the mission report which took me all of last night and then I found out that I had missed an entire section. And I got mad that I couldn’t focus or stay awake and I just kind of...broke.”

As you looked back at him, face not as red, he could see how tired you seemed. “Are you sleeping?”

“I mean, a little bit it’s not like I’ve been awake this whole time but -”

“Y/n.”

You looked at him. “A couple of hours a night at most,” you said quietly. 

Bucky nodded sadly. “Anything else?”

You opened and closed your mouth a few times. “I mean it’s not a big deal -”

“What I just saw was a big deal,” Bucky said gently.

“I haven’t really made time to eat either,” you tried to laugh it off a little. “Just kind of chugged energy drinks. But then I spilled it all over myself, so...bad idea I guess.”

Bucky wasn’t laughing. But he wasn’t angry either. He was, but not at you, never at you.

“I’m sorry,” you said. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? The days off after missions are there for rest.”

You shrugged. “I had important shit to do.” 

“Well you’re pretty important shit too,” he said a little more firmly, but still not angrily. He sighed. “But really, if you’re not okay then nothing gets done. You’re going to get sick if you keep doing this to yourself. When was the last time you had more than a few hours of sleep?”

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. 

He sighed once again. “I’m sorry,” you said, fearful that he was angry with you.

“No, it’s not your fault I just…” he looked away for a second before looking back at you. “I don’t like seeing you like this. I don’t want you pushing yourself so hard and getting hurt.”

You sighed sadly and rubbed your eyes. “Every day I tell myself it’s the last day I’ll stay up so late. I always tell myself I’ll eat after my project is done. But no matter how hard I work there’s just more and more work that needs to get done. And I can’t keep up. I feel like I’m drowning. But no matter how much I hate it I...I always come last,” you said. 

“You shouldn’t have to,” Bucky said.

After a few moments of silence, Bucky pulled you in for a hug, you still sitting on the counter. You closed your eyes against his chest and sighed out, feeling good finally getting all of that off of your chest. 

“You’re taking the next few days off.” he said. 

You pulled back and looked at him. “But the report -”

“Is mostly done and Steve can get the rest of the information from Sam.” Bucky finished for you.

“But -”

“Nope. There is not a single thing you could say right now that is going to prevent me from making sure you take care of yourself for a few days.” he said, and you knew he was right. Nodding, he pulled you back in for a hug. 

“We should get out of these clothes.” you said softly, shivering a little. 

Bucky laughed a little. “Yeah, we really should.” 

You moved to stand up from the counter, still a little weak as you leaned on Bucky a little. You walked slowly out to your room and were met with the mess you created earlier. “Shit,” you said, taking in the broken glass and furniture.

Bucky turned you around and said “Do you want to come to my room? We can deal with this some other time.”

You simply nodded, stepping around the broken shards of glass and to the hallway. Bucky’s room wasn’t far from yours, and luckily no one was in the hallways to comment on how both of you were in wet clothes. Once in his room, he closed the door after you and went to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of sweats and one of his T-shirts and handed them to you. “They might be a little big but -”

“Thank you,” you said, taking the clothes and heading to his bathroom. You closed the door and peeled your current outfit off of you. You found a spare towel and dried off the rest of you, and pulled on Bucky’s clothes. They were huge on you, but you didn’t mind. You took your hair down and redid your bun before splashing some cold water on your face. Deeming you looked more presentable, you came back out and saw that Bucky had also changed. Smiling warmly, he pointed to the bed. 

“So you are going to lie down, and I am going to go make you some food. I’ll be right back.”

You started shaking your head. “No, it’s okay, you don’t have -”

He raised his eyebrows, still pointing to the bed. Swallowing a laugh, you nodded and sat down on the bed. Bucky then left the room and returned a few minutes later with a sandwich. After you had eaten it, you laid back in the bed, melting into the softness of the mattress. You faced away from Bucky, who was sitting next to you on his phone. He was (slowly)  texting Steve to finish your report, which took very little convincing. 

After a few minutes, you asked “Can you lay down with me?”

Bucky smiled a little to himself. “Sure, doll,” he said, and he moved to lie down next to you. Unsure of what exactly you wanted, he gave you space. Not soon after, you turned over and scooted closer to his side. After a moment of shock from Bucky, you asked “Is this okay?” Readjusting a little, he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer. “Yeah, is this okay?” he asked in return.  You merely hummed in approval, already feeling safer in his warm embrace. He let out a small laugh. “Try to get some rest, y/n. I’ll be here whenever you wake up.”

It was the most peaceful sleep you had ever had.

[minshookie]

Pillow Fight.

Pairing |Bully!Jungkook x reader

Genre | smut, angst.

Summary | “Another day spent babysitting your bully’s little sister...you should really quit but the pay is just too good.”

!warnings! | 18+ mature language, bullying, mentioned sexual acts, mentions of past bullying, NON-CON,financial struggle, Jungkook is a really shitty big brother.

| this is not in anyway shape or form a true depiction or representation of BTS, this is a work of fiction and is not to be taken seriously. For entertainment purposes only.|

(this is my work, please don’t repost or steal)

Requested [open for request] words: 1k.

A/N: I rewrote this so many times! Lmfaoo! Buuut get ready because some of requests yall sent in are 🥵🥵.

“Orange is your best color.” Aera chirped dragging the paint drowned brush along your pinky nail. “I think you’re just saying that because it’s your favorite.” The young girl giggles continuing to color your fingertips. “Uhm are you staying all night miss y/n?” Nodding you brushed back her wild strands of hair softly with your free hand. “Soooo like a sleep over?!” She squeals closing the bottle of nail polish, her eyes glittering as she gazes into yours intent for answers. “Yeah!” You matching her energy only made her more excited, “yay! And-and can Jungkookie Oppa come?!” She bounced on her knees smiling ear to ear, fumbling over her words.

“Oh...Jungkook huh... Hmm what about no boys aloud?” You planted the idea praying she’d take the bait as you started cleaning her toy makeup, giving her a chance to think it over.

“What? Jungkook isn’t a boy, he’s my brother!” Giggling she pounced from the couch striding towards his room. At this point all you could do is laugh at her innocent lack of logic. She looks so happy who are you to burst her little bubble, for all you know Jungkook might want nothing to do with the both of you and your little mock slumber party.

Closing the toy purse you hid it back away in the large toy chest she pulled from her room, leaving it open you cleared the floor of the multicolored blocks and dolls. A whisper of a laugh escapes your lips as you overhear Aera’s begs and pleas mixed with Jungkook’s refusals....but finally the door creaks.

Please no. “Y/n, guess what?!” She drags your name out as her small foot steps pitter the floor, Jungkook’s thudding. She comes down the hall pulling Jungkook by his middle finger. “As if you weren’t undesirable enough, neon nails really helped it out.” Grumbling he throws himself on the couch you just tidied up. “Nice to see you again too Kook.”Aera bounced on her toes watching us have confrontation, unaware of the negative connotations.

Truth is you hadn’t seen Jungkook since you left for college and you hadn’t planned on seeing him ever again...that is until relationships fell apart, your roommate left and things got hard to pay for, and you were two bills away from being homeless. the job up at university paid $9.50 an hour while the busy Jeons still offered $12.00 the choice was clear. Take a little break, live with family, get back on your feet, and try again. But little did you know Jungkook decided to stay local with his schooling.All this aside the work was easy since Aera had grown a bit, but the thought of dealing with the person that made your life hell for four years made you want to quit daily.

“Can I do your nails Too?!” “No Aera, now be cute and get me something to drink.” He orders putting his feet on the coffee table eyeing you up and down,disgustingly. “No Aera I’ll get it.” You grabbed her shoulder. “No y/n! I’ll do it, I’ll do it quickly!” Setting free she bolted for the kitchen.

“So, you went to college got broke and came back sniveling to my rich parents?” You rolled your eyes, looking in the direction of the kitchen for any sign of Aera. “I thought you would’ve out grown your asshole phase, that’s very high school of you Kook.” He scoffed defensively, “and you using babysitting as your main income is high school of you, what happened your little rapper boyfriend leave you high and dry?” “You shut the fuck up.” You snapped back my reflex. He held his hands up in defense, “Suga blew up and left you in the shit show not my fault.” We argued in hushed tones as Aera ran back into sight.

“Here you go kookie!” She handed Jungkook the can of Coke, heaving for air. “Aera this is warm, cold...I want something cold, go try again.” He handed her the can, “oh okay Oppa sorry!” And off she was back down the hall. He turned back to me, “why’d he leave you...couldn’t make him bust?” you tried to hide it but his words stung, you’d been avoiding anything to do with Yoongi since he’d ghosted you weeks before you left for college. Bigger things waited for him in the world of fame, and you weren’t in the blueprint.

“Fuck you Jungkook.” “Come try it bitch.” Smirking he was satisfied with himself as you stood almost defeated. “Oh I forgot you’re scared of sex.” “Leave the high school rumors behind...ran out a material? Maybe you should get out more.” He rolled his eyes scoffing, “shut up before I make you.” “You like to pretend I’m still afraid you...make me, little boy...since you insist on being one.”

Jungkook’s come back was cut short by the thumping of Aera’s feet. “Kookie!Kookie! Ice! I got it all by myself!” She gave the cup of ice to Jungkook and then the Coke. “Good job, now pour it.” He handed them back and you took it from her small clutches much to Jungkook’s disliking. You poured him the drink, pushing his feet off the small table and placing the glass. “She’s not your little slave Jungkook.” He kept eye contact picking up the glass, “you’re right she’s not, you...go get me a coaster now or you’re fired.” His eyebrow arched cockily, his free hand waving you away. “As if! You can’t fire me Jungkook.” He got Aera sitting her on the couch beside him as she caught her breath. “Is that so? Try me, my parents might have hired you but you work for us...now work.” His gaze alone told you he wasn’t playing with you anymore.

Angered you stormed to kitchen pulling a coaster from the table before swiftly Turing on your heels, almost jumping out of you skin as you met face to face with Jungkook. “What the fuck do you want now?” “You said some shit I didn’t like.” You threw the coaster back on the marbled table, “I wish you’d grow up already.” You atempt to go past him but his muscular arm halts your plans. “I have to go do my job-” “I put on her show she’ll be good for the next hour.”

You don’t remember Jungkook being so brooding he looked down at you, his new tall posture slightly off putting yet attractive. “What now, you wanna talk it out?” You walked away siting at the island, “I’ll leave you be if you leave me to do my job Kook.” He came behind you, trapping you in his arms. Tattoos, he’d change a lot but not enough to leave you alone.

“I see you came and got the coaster, scared of me now?” What an ass, “no I need this job.” He hummed from behind you, no sign of him letting you go. “You know y/n, you’ve grown quite a bit.” You became more and more uncomfortable by the second, his breathing became deeper. “I’m aware, so have you.” Rudely he became handsy, groping your breast earning a shocked reaction. “Jungkook please-” “scared of me?” He squeezed you with a little too much force making you give a Yelp, he had you trapped, you were nothing but a game to him. “Shhh shh don’t want to startle my baby sister while she rests...that wouldn’t be very babysitter like of you now would it?”

Silent what could you even say? He had you trapped, your position less than hopeless he’d made you feel small and that’s exactly what he wanted. He’s always wanted that ever since you’d met him, and he always succeeds. He intruded under your top, skating his chilled hand over your skin leaving cold bumps in his wake he held your bra covered breast.

You griped his unexposed wrist trying at escape, knowing fully how downhill this could get. “Oh is the brave girl afraid?” “N-no your hands are cold as Ice Jungkook...please stop.” You lied continuing to push his muscular arm. “Oh? Let me warm them for you.” He removed his hand from the island almost causing you to topple over. Reaching down he found himself with his hand now between your legs fiddling with the pant button. “Jungkook! Please no!” His hand along your chest he pulled you back into his sculpted figure.

“You must not value your job as much as you say, scream again and you’ll be broke and fucked over and to think I actually liked you a bit.” He came to your ear, sniffing your hair eerily. “Little did I know how much of a bitch you were, I loved you when you were shy.” He finally got through your button, getting to your panties he gave you a two fingered massage along your core, you strained not to react to the unwanted pleasure. “Look at you pathetic and wet I bet you’re so needy I could make you cum right here.” He began to focus his nimble fingers on your aching clit. “Fucking stop it.” You could only whimper. “Why should I, we’re old enough now and you’re sopping through your panties I know you want it.”

He invaded under your bra, fondling your hardening bud. “I loved you when you were weak and innocent...I know she’s hiding deep inside of you, the little girl that would cry over me-”

“Miss y/n! I’m tired!” Her voice softly called from the living room. Saved by an angel, finally Jungkook stoped his assault backing off of you with a groan. “You’ll meet me in my room when she’s in bed, or else.” He grumbled leaving you behind to collect yourself, how could bad get so much worse?

[rextasywrites]

Aftershow - Leon Kennedy x f!reader

with the help of some tricks and your best friend distracting the security guard, you manage to sneak into the after show of the world premiere of “Resident Evil - Infinite Darkness”. It tells the story of federal Agent Leon S. Kennedy, who, after retiring from his career as a federal agent, decided to tackle acting. Ever since you first saw him in “Resident Evil 2”, you were in love with him and couldn’t wait to meet him. So...what would happen at this afterparty?

hey lads i’m back! i hope you enjoy this piece i have been writing the past few days! hope you are doing well xoxo

Warnings: alcohol, smut, Leon being an ass to others sometimes

Your dress clung to your body, making you feel like some overstuffed sausage. It was physically and mentally out of your comfort zone, but your best friend insisted you looked like a million bucks in it, so you begrudgingly purchased it a week before. “But you look fantastic,” your best friend reassured  you when you stood before your mirror earlier that night, awkwardly, tugging at the fabric by your hipsMaybe she was right, but currently she was busy with the security guard to give you the chance to meet your idol and celebrity crush, Leon S. Kennedy. You had heard he’d attend the premiere, and posts on social media confirmed the rumours.Not that you’d ever admit to subscribing to notifications from him, though.

The place was filled with Hollywood executives, actors, and actresses from all over the planet, yet you hadn’t spotted your favourite so far. Maybe he was outside smoking? Busy spending time with fans and writing autographs? Who knew… So you made your way past some gossiping actress towards the bar. A simple Sex on the Beach would calm your nerves. You began to zone out as you sipped on the cocktail- that is, until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“And I thought I had met everyone tonight.”

That voice. That fucking voice. You’d recognize it out of a million, and there he was.

On the barstool next to you sat Leon S. Kennedy, and he was touching you at this very moment.

Before you would answer, you chuckled and took a sip from the cocktail, buying your nerves some more time before you’d answer. “Guess not.”, you said and placed the glass on the bar in front of you. “I’m (Y/N), nice to meet you.”

“I’m Leon, but I’m sure you already knew that, nice to meet you too. (Y/N), what a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Say, how is it possible that I haven’t spotted you before?”

Uh oh. Quick, think of something.

“Sorry, bad traffic,” you replied, directly quoting a line from his costar in Resident Evil 4. “But I’m here now, and just in time to celebrate you and your new show!”, you smiled and raised your glass, Leon clicking it together with his own beer glass. “Cheers.” You two took big sips from your beverages, Leon’s hand now gravitating towards your knee.

“Say, would you like to join me on the terrace? It’s getting so hot in here.”, Leon said and pointed towards an open door on the other side of the room. The mere thought of being able to spend more time with him made you agree with his idea, and a minute later you two were sitting on the terrace in a porch swing. Leon had bought you another drink. He was such a gentleman, just like you’d always imagined him.. From time to time, people came to congratulate Leon on the success of his new show, wanting to invite him for a drink or more rounds. Yet every time he declined it, saying he already had enough for the evening.

*

“You weren’t invited, were you?”, Leon asked after some conversation between you two. You had told him a bit about your life, your work, your pets. In return, Leon shared stories of the making of Infinite Darkness, funny bloopers and behind-the-scenes stories you otherwise would never hear. The party had died out by now, it being late and the night becoming colder. Telling him a lie wasn’t an option, so you sighed and nodded. “Thought so. You carry yourself differently.”, Leon said while he lit himself a cigarette, blowing the smoke into the night sky.

“What do you mean?”, confusion was written across your face. Carrying yourself differently?

“Hollywood wankers carry themselves with a confidence that could kill a mortal like us. They think they are invincible, but oh boy they are wrong. You don’t carry that energy about you. You don’t look the type.. How did you get in?”

“My best friend is buddies with the security guard and he owed her a favour.”

“You little minx.”, Leon laughed, taking another drag as his eyes rested on you, taking in your body in this dress you hated, yet in his eyes you were the most beautiful woman in the sea of botox and silicone tits. “If you promise not to spill the whole night on social media, I can show you a whole new world.”, and by the look in his eyes, you both knew the feeling was mutual

*

The penthouse Leon was renting for his stay in your city was more than just breathtaking. Standing by the front window, you could see the whole city, way beyond the city limits. In the bathroom was, next to a big bathtub, a jacuzzi, and an iced down champagne bucket right next to it. “In Hollywood, money has no meaning. You ever seen Wolf of Wall Street? They weren’t fuckin’ lying when they called money ‘fun coupons’”, he laughed when you first entered the penthouse and your eyes had nearly rolled out. The bedroom alone was bigger than your whole flat, the champagne in that goddamn bucket probably worth more than your rent

“If your eyes get any bigger they’ll fall out of your head!”, Leon laughed as he sat down on the huge sofa, the fireplace warming up the room to a comfortable degree. Yet the dress felt too tight, just ready to be taken off...or was that the alcohol speaking? Leon for the cigar box lying atop the coffee table. He offered you one, but you declined - you didn’t smoke, but the mere view of Leon with a big cigar between his lips, legs spread and dress shirt slightly unbuttoned...it went straight to your core, a view millions of women would kill for, presented in front of you. “Like what you see, little minx?”

“Would it be bad if I didn’t.”, you replied, trying to hide your nerves by being cocky. But Leon wasn’t having any of this. He could see through your mask, trying and failing to hide how badly you wanted to straddle his lap and kiss him senseless, seeing stars and whole new universes. Comes with being an ex cop and agent. No secrets could make it past his eyes.

“Come here”, were Leon’s simple words, yet they had an effect on you and your body, something you'd normally be ashamed to admit. You made your way over to Leon on the sofa and instead of sitting next to him, he patted on his lap. “I want you to be comfortable, and I bet you are the most comfortable on my lap. C’mon, it’s the best seat in the house.”, he smirked and...you couldn’t deny it. His thighs were comfortably big, years of hard training paying off in the form of muscle and rough skin under his suit pants.

You weren’t sure why your head felt like it was spinning - was it the alcohol or the intoxicating smell from Leon? A mixture of his unique scent: whiskey and his cologne, all in a cloud around your nose. You wished you would be able to smell him for the rest of your life. All you knew was that your body screamed for Leon, and his body screamed right back. “Here.”, Leon offered you the glass of scotch he had just poured for himself. “There are three types of liquor. Terrible, not so terrible, or do you want to impress people with your money?”, and with those words, he pressed his lips against yours.

*

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“And yet, here we are.”

*

Leon had picked you up after another glass or three of scotch, the way to his bedroom clear. You weren’t sure if it was the warmth from the scotch swelling in your chest or the way his muscular arms wrapped around you, but something in you was one wrong- or right- move away from melting away completely. Your legs were wrapped around his hips as well as possible. The slit on your dress helped you, but suddenly Leon stopped in his tracks. “Are you okay?”, you asked, placing a hand on his cheek, but he looked over the bedroom you two just entered… Suddenly he placed you back down on the floor, kicking the door shut and pushing you against it.

“I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the bed.”, he smirked , his soft hands moving down your sides, leaving goosebumps wherever they touched you. Your dress felt too tight, the room too hot - you needed to get out of it quickly! Leon watched your blush grow, this asshole smirk still on his lips. “I love how real you are.”, he muttered as he leaned in, brushing his lips over your pulse point, just enough to draw a soft gasp from your lips.

“What do you mean?”, you asked, puzzled. Leon just chuckled, “Haven’t you noticed? It’s all Photoshopped. All the women at the premiere had the same fucking ass. Same crooked lips from the same quack doctor. The same busted Botox faces, everywhere you go. Yet they think they’re hot shit.”, he whispered, hot air against your even hotter skin. “But you...look at you.”

And you did. You looked down on yourself and saw nothing but imperfections. You looked back to Leon with a frown but he just laughed, “Hollywood is suffocating as fuck, but you’re like a breath of fresh air.. Look at you! You even have stretch marks! I haven’t seen real stretch marks since I put my first step into a studio!”, Leon took a deep breath, his voice shaking as he said his next sentence, “And I want you so fucking badly.”

*

Only minutes later, Leon had marked you up, hickeys and little bites of pleasure and need covering your upper body, whatever part he could reach. The dress was long gone and you laid on the bed, watching Leon unbuttoning his dress shirt. Underneath the white fabric was a body riddled with scars and old, badly healed wounds. Each and every single one could tell a story you were ready to hear, but right now, all you wanted was Leon and only Leon. And he needed you too.

“Aren’t you fucking gorgeous?”, Leon asked as his hands reached behind you, undoing your bra with a simple movement. This man had disarmed bombs before, of course a bra wouldn’t cause him much trouble. “Look at you…”, he repeated once more once your bra was thrown across the room, landing on some random piece of furniture. You blushed under his hungry eyes, him taking in what would be his in mere minutes. “Spread your legs. I wanna taste you.”

*

You had an iron grip on Leon’s hair, bucking your hips to meet his touch. More, more, more! You needed more! While Leon’s tongue teased your entrance, he used his hand to hold you down, keeping you in place like the good girl that you had been. Well, had been until his tongue first licked up your folds, taking in the sweetness of your juices. Leon had consumed many different liquors in his life, but only your sweet juices could rival ambrosia, sending his drunken mind into another plane of existence.

“Leon!”, you moaned out the moment his calloused finger brushed over your clit. It had been begging for attention, but Leon - that dick - kept on lapping up your juices, sucking and nibbling carefully on your folds. The movements of his fingers were in a steady rhythm with the ones of his tongue, making your head spin once more. He knew how to play you like a fiddle, making you putty in his hands.

But before you could cum, Leon pulled away, his face covered in your sweet fluids and he licked over his lips with an obscene sound and a dirty smirk on his lips. “I can’t wait to fuck you ‘til you scream my name.”

*

The condom was put on quickly. Magnum, of course. What else would a guy like him need? The first stroke inside of you made you see stars for the third time in less than an hour, what an impact this man had on you. Leon was still inside of you, not moving until you were adjusted to his size, especially his girth. “You okay?”, he asked, to which you gave him a soft nod. “Yeah, I’ll be alright. It’s just… fuck, you’re big..”

Leon’s ego beamed at your words, and once you gave him the okay to continue, it was very hard for him to hold back in any way. You were too tight, too sweet, making him nearly burst on the spot. Instead, his mind wandered...but you were always part of those thoughts.

The wet noises of sex, lust, and unadulterated passion filled the room, along with soft panting and groans coming from you two, a noise as old as humankind. Your arms were tightly wrapped around Leon’s body, leaving behind tiny marks when you needed to hold onto him, your nails digging into his skin. Leon hissed at the stings but fuck, knowing you were marking him up too made him even harder, harder than he had ever been.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”, Leon moaned against your neck and buried his head there for a moment. All you could do was nod in agreement, not trusting your voice anymore. Leon reached down at this, pressing his palm between you two, against your clit. You needed this feeling, you were begging for your release.

*

“Come on, cum for me.”, Leon growled when he felt the first contractions around his cock. The needy undertone of his voice was the last thing you needed to push yourself over the edge. “Leon!”, you moaned and came around him, stilling in your movements. Leon rocked his hips a few more times before his own release overcame him, spilling into the condom as you milked him inside of you. It felt too good to be true, but Leon was real.

Once your high started to fade and the contractions lessened, Leon leaned in for a quick kiss, stealing it from your open lips as you tried to catch your breath again. You smiled up to him, loosening your grip around him. “That was great.”, you smiled and Leon dropped next to you after pulling out.

*

In the early morning hours, you woke up to an empty bed. Leon’s side was cold and you sat up, looking around in confusion. Where was he? He wouldn’t leave you alone, would he? Finally, you spotted him on the balcony and you quickly threw on one of the jackets laying around along with your panties.

“Good morning.”, you smiled at Leon, who was taking a drag from his cigarette. He greeted you while blowing the hot smoke out, then held up his arm, offering you a place next to him. You happily agreed, leaning against his warm body in the fresh morning hours.

“I’d love to see you again.”, Leon said after he exhaled another drag, looking down at you. This took you by surprise - why would he? You weren’t special at all, just a mere fan who managed to get into his penthouse suite with a lot of luck and cleavage. He grabbed his phone from the table next to him, offering you the open contact list, “I’d love to take you out on a few dates and such. Spend time with you. What do you think? Wanna give me your number?”

[jokerislandgirl32]

Headcanons for Zach and, if you’re up for it, my OC Alessandra Swift ;)

I am always up for a challenge 😉. I have completed both Zach and Alessandra below the break. Many of the Zach headcanons I included here are ones I am using in my own Wild Violet AU. Please be warned some of the headcanons are angst driven, and the following trigger warnings apply: alcohol use, excessive drinking, smoking, mentions of death and cancer, attempted suicide, bullying, and volatile/ abusive relationship mentions.

Headcanon A:  realistic

Zach: Zach is ambidextrous. I mentioned this in another post of mine, but Zach can constantly be seen using both hands for various tasks. Zach trained both hands to complete any task so this would improve his productivity when working on his inventions. As a child we are shown that he is left handed, but since the world is less accommodating to left handed people (tools and such are designed for right handed individuals) he started using his right hand with tools. He later trained his right hand to write.

Zach was able to subsequently skip a grade in school in part because of his ability to use both hands. When writing papers or completing assignments Zach had the advantage of being twice as fast because he could use both hands to complete any task. His teachers looked at him with concern at first, but once they saw that his work was impeccable, they decided he should be challenged academically, which resulted in his moving up a grade and graduating from high school at the age of 17.

Alessandra: Alessandra made her ZV earrings in a fit of rage. She made them after she realized she had a crush on Zach, sure, but she was livid at the time. She was upset she could not have him then and there, she was upset that the crew was trying to keep her way from him, she was upset at the lies and secrets she knew she was being fed about him.

So, she decided to channel all that negative energy and through her tears and a string of aggravated curse words under her breathe, she crafted the earrings. After she was done, she put them in she looked at herself in the mirror, wiped her face, and decided, that she would make him her’s no matter what.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Zach: This headcanon is one @m0thisonfire and I crafted together. Zach lives off of 3 types of liquids: coffee, energy drinks, and alcohol. Zach uses the coffee and energy drinks to help him stay awake so he can complete the work for his business and inventions during the week. But on Friday nights he goes wild and breaks out the alcohol. Why? Because he’s realized that his best invention ideas come to him while he’s drunk.

He wakes up with liquor bottles, blueprints, and half finished inventions scattered around him on Saturday mornings. But the man does not care, he has the best time of his life while drunk, he’s relaxed enough to actually laugh and enjoy the creative process. Granted, he’s wound up in the hospital a few Saturdays for nearly busting his head open, but even as he vomits all over the floor of the patient room he’s in, he finds humor in it, “wow, it’s all red!”

Below is an illustration crafted by my fren @m0thisonfire showing what Zach’s Friday nights look like. Plus the inclusion of our OCs Moth and Violet. Moth is egging Zach on, and Violet is trying to calm both of them down 😂.

Alessandra: She has a secret photo collection of Zach that she talks to when she is alone. This collection includes pictures she managed to sneak long before she revealed her feelings to him, and pictures she took of Zach after they began to spend time together/ began their relationship. She keeps them hidden away in a box inside her room in the Tortuga.

When she is alone, she will take all the pictures out and spread them on the floor around her in the shape of a heart. She will glance at all the pictures of Zach, one in turn, and whisper sweet nothings to him. Things she would never say to his face before their first encounter and things she is willing herself to say to him after they are together.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Zach: Zach has a crappy and tragic family life that leads to a severe deterioration in his mental health. Zach had a twin brother who died from cancer before their twelfth birthday. Zach’s mother, mourning the loss of her other son, neglected to give Zach the love and attention he so desperately needed. Zach, therefore clung to his father, and while his father loved him, he focused his energies on grooming Zach, from a very young age, to take over Varmitech Industries. Zach’s father died from cancer while he was a teenager, leading Zach to take control of Varmitech Industries, graduate from high school, and attend his first semester of college all in less than a year’s timespan.

Zach, overwhelmed with the impending responsibilities, became hardened and started acting out: he cried constantly, he started drinking and smoking, his temper became increasingly volatile, he even attempting to take his own life. Due to his drastic change in behavior, he was bullied by others; the bullying was unintentionally started by the Kratts brothers. Leading Zach to loath them more than ever, and he set off on the path to become the villain we know him as today.

Alessandra: This is not too heart wrenching, but it is sad. Alessandra joined the Wild Kratts Crew because she never got the chance to be around animals in her childhood. Her family was allergic to animals with fur, such as dogs and cats, and they grew to detest all animals, so they did not allow any animals to be brought into the house. Not even a goldfish Alessandra won at a fair.

When she was able, Alessandra decided to set out on her own, and she wanted to work a job that allowed her to be around animals and help them at all times, that is how she came into contact with, and joined, the Wild Kratts Crew. Her family did not approve of her decision to join the Wild Kratts so she no longer has much of a relationship with them. That is why her relationships with everyone aboard the Tortuga are so important to her: They are her family.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Zach: Zach actually likes some animals, cats in particular. Zach always wanted a cat as a child but his parents would not allow him to have a cat, or any pet, for that matter because they themselves had a bad relationship with animals. Zach’s parents, instead, ingrained the belief that animals were unnecessary, dirty, and dangerous into their son. Zach, in turn, did not learn the care and compassion that should be given to animal.

He grew to see animals as a waste of space, OR…as useful in other areas of life. This is why he decided to begin using animals in his inventions from a young age, if he could not have one, then he might as well harness their powers into an invention, what else were the animals supposed to do? Zach still realizes, deep down, that his treatment toward animals is wrong, this is why he usually gives up when his schemes do not work out: he does not want to cause anymore harm to the animals.

Alessandra: She is secretly jealous of Aviva and holds a bit of a grudge against her. This stems from the fact that she knows Zach and Aviva were previously in a relationship. Even though she understand that their relationship was volatile, she still wishes she had been in Aviva’s place to experience many of the firsts Aviva must have certainly had with Zach.

At some points when she sees Zach and Aviva near each other, she wonders if there are any underlying feelings that they still have for one another. Alessandra has a pang of jealous rage and storms off to her room or somewhere else to cool down.