#then ofc the marauders weren’t either

[padfootastic]

buckle up folks im gonna yap a lot here

tl;dr - Remus is constantly operating from a place of very low self worth and very intense self hatred. His sense of self is tied directly to him being a werewolf, the part of him he considers a monster (and therefore, by extension, himself) and unlovable. This informs all his relationships. It would also explain the distance he kept from harry because remus is always chosen by people, he never does the choosing himself. The marauders worked to support him, tonks worked to pursue him, but at the first sign of conflict (or, cognitive dissonance), remus backed off. ran away. Harry, in contrast, never felt a connection and therefore never pushed for it, and remus isn’t the type to take the first step (or really, take any step) so that dynamic never took off the way it does with, say, sirius. (and this is also such a direct contrast b/w remus and sirius, because sirius is a man of action. he keeps moving forward, no matter what happens to him, and he keeps making an effort with harry. keeps choosing him, always, no matter what. it is this effort that harry, an abused, neglected child, recognises and responds to)

ok moving on to the specific interactions i’m looking at:

this comes from the bit in grimmauld place when remus tracks the trio down to ask (read: convince them) if he could join them in their horcrux hunt.

it is some of the most fascinating writing that i think we get (esp wrt remus), because it tells us so much about his belief system, his view of himself, his relationship w his lycanthropy, and his tendency to manipulate others and victimise himself

i. remus and the weaponisation of james

"Just--just to be clear." he said. "You want to leave Tonks at her parents' house and come away with us?"

"She'll be perfectly safe there, they'll look after her." said Lupin. He spoke with a finality bordering on indifference. "Harry, I'm sure James would have wanted me to stick with you."

"Well," said Harry slowly, "I'm not. I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking with your own kid, actually." Lupin's face drained of color. The temperature in the kitchen might have dropped ten degrees.

this is literally one of my favorite lines by harry. the way he’s pushing back, the way he absolutely refuses to let his dad be used to excuse Remus’ actions, the way he—despite becoming somewhat disillusioned w james by this point—knows beyond a shadow of doubt that james would put his family above all else. he will face a monster down with his ‘head held high and shoulders straight, proud backed’ while being wandless but he wouldn’t abandon his family. and for remus to imply otherwise is downright offensive to harry here. (and this is in direct contrast to the time remus pulled a similar dirty trick in PoA when harry was out after hours; then, harry didn’t, wasn’t able to, push back. here, he can and he does)

remus paling, i interpret in two ways. first, the simple fact of harry disagreeing with him. it’s enough to discombobulate him. but then following it up w the double hitter of ‘dad would NEVER’ and ‘you’re leaving ur kid’, two truths that remus knows on some level but does not want to engage with. harry is forcing him to do so, and he doesn’t like it.

ii. harry, an abandoned child & remus’ blinding self hatred

"I see," said Harry, "so you're just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?"

Lupin sprang to his feet: His chair toppled backward, and he glared at them so fiercely that Harry saw, for the first time ever, the shadow of the wolf upon his human face.

"Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I've made her an outcast!"

harry immediately, without even thinking about, without fully processing it, accuses remus of abandonment. because to him, that’s what it is. he firmly believes that the only reason his parents didn’t raise him is because they physically couldn’t. his parents had to leave him, their murder the only thing keeping them away from him. but that’s not the case w remus; he did the deed, now he must accept & own up to the consequences which he is refusing here. he has a choice, and in harry’s eyes, he’s making the wrong one.

it is also interesting because it shows us how remus reacts to such pushback, to criticism of him. we don’t often see it in the books, not the way we have for sirius (or even james and peter to an extent) bc he’s never rly been in the picture for anyone to disagree w him. but i find it so so fascinating that when harry does it, it triggers him to the point of shattering his facade of calm ‘the shadow of the wolf’. remus doesn’t like it. more importantly, it’s not simple disagreement, it’s being called out. harry is essentially taking him to task for his problematic behaviour, which doesn’t seem to happen often, and because i view remus as having tied his sense of self to his performance as a ‘normal non-creature wizard’ which is synonymous with this veneer of civility, it hits way harder. so harry poking the latter is as good as poking his very self image.

another thing that stands out to me here ‘i should never have married her; i’ve made her an outcast’. remus simultaneously denying tonks’ agency while also not taking responsibility for his own actions. a recurring theme. remus cannot accept that tonks chose him, just as he never fully accepted that the marauders did so as well. for him, the lycanthropy is such a dealbreaker that he cannot imagine anyone ever being able to look past it/or love him for and despite it, because he has never been able to give himself the same grace, so how can anyone else? i don’t want to make it transactional but james and sirius did so much for remus, but how did he act in return? with suspicion, betrayal, and distancing himself from harry. he wants to be loved, but he cannot believe it is real, and so he consistently undermines those who stick by him.

beyond that, though, what is done is done. however it may have happened, they are married and have a child on the way. this guilt spiral will not benefit the kid or tonks; it’s a desperate attempt to maintain his illusion of separation. to pretend as if he can go back to his unattached life where the only person who’s hurt by his lycanthropy is himself, and he cannot be held responsible for anyone else.

remus cannot look past this hatred of his own self. later, he mentions that either the kid will be a werewolf like him (and how can remus forgive himself if it happens) or that it won’t be, and it’ll be better to never have known his father in that case. never once does he consider that in the case of the former, having a parent whose gone through the same experience would actually help the kid; that he can guide him, love him, support him as he wishes he was (again, repeating this, but bc he thinks werewolves can’t be loved). if it’s the latter, then the kid would still have to deal w an absent father (and who, he’d probably know is a werewolf regardless, since how much can u hide anyway?)

and this, ultimately, leads to him not understanding where harry’s anger is coming from. he’s so caught up in his own spiral of panic, fear, hatred, that he can’t see that harry is coming from a place of someone who has actually been abandoned (though not on purpose); who did grow up without knowing his parents, and suffering so much for it. harry, whose only consolation at times were that his parents loved him, died for him. that when he’s trying to tell remus not to leave his kid, it’s coming from his lived experience of facing so much loss. remus cannot, will not, see any of that.

iii. lycanthropy & dehumanisation

And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a father of whom it must always be ashamed!"

"Remus!" whispered Hermione, tears in her eyes. "Don't say that -how could any child be ashamed of you?"

"Oh, I don't know, Hermione," said Harry. "I'd be pretty ashamed of him."

Notice how he says ‘it is not like me’ ‘it will be better of’ ‘ it must always be ashamed’. IT. his own child, and he steadfastly refuses to acknowledge them as such.

this unborn child, who could have his lycanthropy, is as dehumanised as he believes himself to be. the child can only either be another monster or something to be pitied for having one as a father, nothing in between. remus, despite being the poster boy for ~privileged minority~ who had all the advantages that other werewolves did not, still believes he is deficient, so we can safely assume that he connects it to the very existence of his wolf. so how could this hypothetical kid ever be any different? it won’t matter how much it’s loved, or cared for (which is what the marauders and then tonks did for him, but it still wasn’t enough) because the rot within cannot be cured. or so remus thinks. it’s pitiful and tragic and so, so maddening, because he’s damned this kid before he’s even born. (and not in the lycanthropic way he thinks)

special mention to the following line as well:

and then Lupin said, with an air of forcing himself to admit something unpleasant. "Tonks is going to have a baby."

Tonks. Not Remus but Tonks is going to have a baby. He has already mentally distanced himself from the whole thing, as if his wife had a moment of immaculate conception and he wasn’t a part of it at all. it’s easier for him, this way, because he doesn’t have to think about potentially helping create a baby werewolf.

iv. a werewolf’s quest for legitimacy

My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?"

"How -how dare you?" said Lupin. "This is not about a desire for for danger of personal glory -how dare you suggest such a-

"I think you're feeling a bit of a daredevil." Harry said, "You fancy stepping into Sirius's shoe-

i think both remus and harry are a bit off the mark here. it’s not about being a thrill seeker (and isn’t it so intriguing that harry brought up sirius here, but not in a way that insults his godfather, but only remus in being compared to him? so he’s essentially saying remus isn’t even doing a good job of trying to step into sirius’ shoes) and it’s also not about wanting to be with the trio to offer protection and expertise, as remus is arguing.

in my opinion, doing it this way gives remus’ actions legitimacy. if he’s going w the trio to offer protection and advice, and it’s to end voldy, then he’s not actually being a selfish fuck who’s abandoning his wife and kid. he’s only doing his part in ending the war and this becomes an unfortunate, but necessary, consequence of the same. he can nicely distance himself from the whole thing by wrapping in a layer of righteousness and duty.

and we’ve seen this behaviour before also. remus consistently clings to legitimacy, possibly bc his existence as a werewolf is constantly invalidated. he will convince himself he’s in the right for doing something extremely out of pocket. it’s the only way he can keep his sense of self from shattering, because the alternative is having to confront his worst traits and behaviours and that’s not fun.

v. cowardice and self preservation

"I'd never have believed this," Harry said. "The man who taught me to fight dementors-a coward."

Lupin drew his wand so fast that Harry had barely reached for his own; there was a loud bang and he felt himself flying backward as if punched; as he slammed into the kitchen wall and slid to the floor, he glimpsed the tail of Lupin's cloak disappearing around the door.

!!!! this scene!!! is literally a slap in the face and a reality check for everyone who claims remus is the most even tempered, logical, and pacifist of the marauders. he did not last a few minutes before he was provoked to physical violence (enough that it left an egg on the back of harry’s head). he attacked harry, violently and without warning, and then ran away. didn’t come back to check on him. didn’t ask him how he was. nothing.

his action came from a last ditch attempt at protecting himself, able to think of nothing but escaping what he perceives as a violent confrontation (which is, harry shoving cold hard reality in his face) so he responds in kind. this is not remus disagreeing, or even fighting harry. it’s simply a buildup, and expelling, of his intense need to get out of this situation, by any means necessary. even at the cost of others. all harm is negligible as long as it’s not him. (in fact, the only harm that is really acceptable to remus is the self flagellating kind- peak id based defence mechanism)

(special mention to ron and hermione’s reactions after this confrontation, along with harry’s delayed onset low level guilt. narratively, it made complete sense for harry to lash out the way he did, to call remus out this way. objectively, he wasn’t wrong. and yet, r&h tell him he shouldn’t have done that, and implicitly side with remus. harry himself feels a bit bad about it later- though this is the most understandable reaction of the three. once again, remus is excused by the writing, despite acting in such a way. no wonder people didn’t think he did anything wrong lol)

and remus being a coward. extremely, extremely clear throughout the series. he keeps people at arms length, best exemplified by his non-relationship with harry. it’s how he tries to protect himself.

- x - x - x -

this scene is from shell cottage, after malfoy manor and before gringotts. lupin is crowing w joy about becoming a father to a baby boy.

now, to be fair, i do think like- pre-baby jitters is a fairly common thing, and one that can get resolved after the actual birth bc now this tiny human goes from being a concept to something real, that ur holding in ur arms, right? that realisation that you’ve just created life, something so vulnerable and that depends on you for their entire survival—it’s terrifying, yes, but also concrete. it’s not the abstract kind of fear he had earlier. hence, the change in emotions. i think there’s also an element of ‘i cannot believe a monster like me created something so human. so beautiful’ that adds to his giddiness, and if given time, teddy could very well have been the impetus for remus to untangle his own skewed self worth, for him to begin thinking of himself as a person deserving of love and life as well. but alas, that could not happen bc we needed teddy to parallel harry 😓🫠

that being said, i am more interested in remus’ interactions with harry, yet again.

vi. remus’ conflict avoidance

"Yes- yes- a boy," said Lupin again, who seemed dazed by his own happiness. He strode around the table and hugged Harry; the scene in the basement of Grimmauld Place might never have happened.

"You'll be godfather?" he said as he released Harry. "M-me?" stammered Harry.

"You, yes, of course -Dora quite agrees, no one better”

specifically this part: ‘the scene in GP might never have happened’ - once again, remus has brushed past his actions, his mistakes, the harm he’s committed. once again, due to a situation of emotional upheaval and extreme joy. (i compare this to the moment in the shack, when the truth comes out and it becomes clear that remus has believed the worst of his best friend. it is, due to the charged atmosphere of the moment, never acknowledged—and is, in fact, cheapened & likened with ‘sirius supposedly thought remus was the spy as well’ attributing, imo, false equivalence)

he doesn’t acknowledge what he’s done, just as he never did it with sirius, or with harry for never getting in touch with him pre hogwarts or post PoA. again, you could argue it makes sense in that it’s not relevant to the plot, or that he shouldn’t have had to justify himself, but when u add it together, i think it paints a very conflict avoidant picture of remus. uncomfortable conversations are not his thing. i think that’s why people think he’s the peacemaker or the non-aggressive party. it’s not that he’s advocating for a resolution, it’s that he absolutely refuses to step in. even when he takes a stand, it’s in a diplomatic way, and this isn’t to defuse the tension, but again, to protect himself. he’s not in the business of calling attention to himself (because it’s dangerous if anyone looked too close) and that looks, on the surface, like he’s calm and collected when really, he’s just scared.

vii. harry & remus

not a text, this time, but just me musing on harry never once referring to remus by his name. in his head, the man is always called ‘lupin ’. in fact, i did a word search across dh and the only times remus shows up is when it’s in a dialogue and someone is calling/talking/referring to him. harry always thinking of him as lupin, as one would with a distant acquaintance. there doesn’t seem to be any kind of familiarity, or even any desire for it either. the only time i could find him referring to remus by his first name is when he sees his body in the great hall (‘Remus and Tonks, pale and still and pale-looking’). immediately after that, during the storm scene, he’s back to remus.

it’s like his death was so jarring that it knocked their distance loose for a minute, but then it snapped right back. it’s so deep seated.

i find it particularly interesting because remus should have been a strong contender for harry’s affections. he has a direct connection to the parents harry craves, he is a ‘cool’ adult, he’s usually pretty careful about not infantilising harry (atleast compared to others), and he acted as a guide w the dementors (giving him space to talk ab how he’s affected by the dementors, reaching harry the patronus and indirectly, giving him a piece of his dad to protect him). so yeah, remus should’ve been much higher up the adult priority list but alas. remus is particularly good at what he does.

(another special mention to the final battle when harry uses the stone-

"I didn't want you to die," Harry said. These words came without his volition. "Any of you. I'm sorry-"He addressed Lupin more than any of them, beseeching him. "right after you'd had your son ... Remus, I'm sorry-"

"I am sorry too," said Lupin. "Sorry I will never know him ... but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand.”

i want to say, i fully understand where this dialogue comes from and i’m not actually attributing malicious intent to it. but, but. that being said, i find it downright hilarious that out of the four marauders and lily that have come to harry, remus is the only one who’s words are all about him lmao. like, harry is apologising, basically taking all the blame, and even in death, remus cannot be like ‘it wasn’t you, haz’. everyone else is talking about how brave he is, or how they’re proud of him, or how he shouldn’t be afraid of dying, but remus is like- nah. i’m not hearing you. and idc bc teddy will forgive me 🥰’. just, hysterical.)

gonna end this here but know that i can keep going haha

i wish we talked more about remus in DH bc it’s such a fascinating, crucial piece of characterisation that is glossed over 99% of the time

i have read literal thousands of fics and never once have i seen it even obliquely referenced

[starrylothcat]

My queen! May I humbly request to you a dialog burned into my skull for hunter ? I know you have a promt list but I have thought of hunter saying these lines ever since they came to me (I hope u don't mind a suggestion that's not on a list🖤🖤🖤)

"Do you have any idea how intoxicating you are to me? Do you even know what you Do me? How much you drive me wild?"

"Oh I think you do. Oh mesh'la, If I didnt know any better I'd think you like driving me crazy"

-I've had no thoughts other than hunter and his God damn inhanced senses and that scent kink 🙈 Nonthing but sinful smutty thoughts

Ofc my queen, you can go for whatever context you think fits. ☺️🖤🖤🖤

Essence

Summary: Your scent drives Hunter wild and his desire for you has been building. He’s been able to hold it together until a new scent from you pushes him to the brink.

Pairing: Hunter x Jedi Fem!Reader

WC: 4700 whoops

Warnings: NSFW, 18+. Scent kink, unprotected PiV sex (wrap it yo), cunnilingus, cum eating, praise, Hunter being a horny beast. Takes place during TCW. Reader is a Jedi for fun, not really described.

A/N: Let me tell you, I have no THOTS other than Hunter and his senses either! Thank you so much for this request…this dialogue is DELICIOUS and you sent me down a rabbit hole. I do not mind at all! I got a bit carried away, but I hope this is what you envisioned! This is what I humbly offer in return! Enjoy~

Ever since you introduced yourself to him all those weeks ago, Hunter has been captivated. 

Whenever his mind was idle his thoughts drifted to you, the ghost of your scent always teasing his senses. He both wished he could be near and as far away as possible from you, your entire being taunting him whether you knew it or not.  

It wasn’t just your beauty that beguiled him or your skill on the battlefield, it was your alluring and downright intoxicating fragrance that overtook his senses any time you were near. 

Hunter was used to people’s smells, it was the downside of being genetically enhanced to notice such things. He often found other’s natural scents overpowering, learning to ignore them quickly.

But you, you were something else. 

Per the Jedi Council’s request, you were assigned to Clone Force 99 to assist with a  few delicate retrieval missions and had been given orders to train with them in the weeks leading up to the assignments.

His brothers grumbled, not liking having a Jedi on the team, even temporarily, thinking it was some sort of insult and insinuating they couldn’t handle themselves.

Hunter was skeptical too, but ever since first meeting you on a landing platform on Coruscant, your natural perfume ignited his senses like a newly formed star.

During missions, he could ignore it long enough to be successful and keep his mind clear. 

But when you were training, or on The Marauder, or just catching him in the halls of Kamino to say hi, he was tormented, and ached in silence.

You had just returned to Coruscant, having completed a mission successfully. You were back at the main GAR Headquarters and Master Kenobi wanted a debrief from you and Hunter. The war was picking up, and more and more Jedi and clones were needed in the coming battles.

Hunter was trying to clear his head before the meeting. He was stuck on The Marauder with you for a few rotations and his body was buzzing with need, his mind cloudy and spinning. He wanted so desperately to explore your body inch by inch, peel back your Jedi robes and become completely lost in you. 

It was all he could think about.

Every night, even when you weren’t near, he dreamt of the sounds you’d make as he took you apart and pieced you back together, how your curves would feel under his palms, desperate to be between your legs and drink at your source. Every morning he’d wake uncomfortably hard, hoping his hand would help him forget, but it only provided temporary relief.

Hunter was almost glad your time with them was nearing an end, not knowing how long he could suffer like this. 

Hunter had another problem, and it also had to do with you. He had been avoiding you the entire trip back to Coruscant and practically ran off The Marauder when you landed.

He knew you noticed, and figured you assumed he was angry at you. He watched as your face fell when you asked if he wanted to join you after the mission debrief for a drink, to celebrate the mission success. 

Hunter mumbled he was busy, not even looking you in the eye. 

How could he when he was seconds from wanting to taste your lips and fuck you senseless?

Hunter stood outside the door to the debriefing room, knowing you’d be in there. It was probably for the best if you thought he hated you. 

It wasn’t like you’d be able to be with him, anyway. 

You were standing in the conference room, knowing Hunter was going to walk in any minute.

You were trying to figure out Hunter’s increasingly strange behavior toward you, not knowing if you did something to upset him, or if something else was bothering him.

The mission was a success, no losses were sustained, and you and Clone Force 99 worked well with one another, so that couldn’t be it.

Your heart sank a little, thinking maybe he figured out your feelings toward him. He did have heightened senses, maybe he noticed something, and you weren’t as subtle as you hoped? You were trying your best to keep everything strictly professional, the mission always coming first.

You couldn’t deny your growing feelings toward the broody Sargeant though, his smokey voice, curly locks, broad shoulders, and thin waist just begging for you to grab on to. Those exact fantasies were going through your head just a few moments ago when you were in your quarters. 

You meant to take a nap and rest, but your mind wandered along with your hand under your panties. You didn’t mean to think about Hunter, but it was his face that was between your thighs in the dream, his deep voice whispering praises as he entangled his body with yours. 

The chirp of your commlink interrupted your “nap,” alerting you that the debrief was starting earlier than expected. Begrudgingly, you dressed and headed to the meeting, not satisfied and a little more frustrated than before.

Hunter entered the room, and his nerves were immediately on fire. You were chatting with another clone, a Commander from another unit. 

You glanced at him, nodded, and went back to speaking with him.

A new odor from you was assaulting his senses that wasn’t your usual exilarating aroma, this was different.

Very different.

It was arousal. 

Hunter bristled, fighting the sudden and intense urge to rip his clothes off and yours, taking you right then and there in front of everybody.

It was hard enough to ignore your usual natural perfume, but this was almost cataclysmic.

Obi-Wan’s hologram popped up, exchanging short courtesies with everyone, before diving into the topic at hand.

Hunter was barely paying attention, voices fading as he tried to hold himself together.

Why would you smell like sex? 

Hunter scanned the room, looking at the troopers and other Jedi that were listening to the debrief from Obi-Wan. 

Was it one of them? 

Jealousy stabbed his chest like a blade, imagining you in the throes of pleasure with a reg between your legs. You can do better than that. He thought bitterly. It could be me if you wanted.

Your demeanor was calm, listening intently to General Kenobi’s report, which was the opposite of what your pheromones were telling him. 

The other clones seemed at ease too, and Hunter couldn’t pick up the hint of your arousal on anyone else in the room.

Does that mean…?

If Hunter wasn’t sweating before, he was now. 

The image of you laying on your bunk in your quarters, touching your own body, and pleasing yourself was almost too much to handle in this public space. 

Jedi were people too, people with needs. And you were taking care of that need right before this meeting. 

Hunter glanced in your direction, your body radiating arousal, burning him from the inside out. 

You were horny, there was no denying it. Still horny, it seemed, as if your private time before this meeting wasn’t quite enough.  

Hunter’s body went into overdrive, picking up your needy pheromones as they wafted to his nose. 

Was this purposeful? Did you know what you did to him and were testing him? Some sort of kriffed-up Jedi trial of will?

Hunter clenched and unclenched his fist, praying for this debrief to be over soon, or else he might implode, a beast clawing its way out that he wasn’t sure he could contain for much longer.

Who were you thinking of while you writhed under your hand?

The image of some shiny reg popped into his head again, or that Commander you were just speaking to, the sharp blade of jealousy threatening to split him open.

He wanted you, all of you. The thought of anyone else made his blood boil, though he knew he had no stake in you. No one did. You were a Jedi. 

After what seemed like hours, the meeting ended, and General Kenobi signed off.

Hunter had to get out of here, get away from you before he did something he regretted.

He wanted to pull you into the nearest supply closet and give you what your body needed. But did you even want him? Could you feel the same way, if things were different?

Hunter knew the Jedi had their codes, their honor. He didn’t want to put you in a position of temptation or disgrace.

Hunter barely heard you call his name, trying to get his attention as he quickly strode out of the mission room, needing to be alone, needing to get away from you. Once again, he was running away from you.

You were aware of Hunter’s strange behavior throughout the meeting. He almost looked ill, sweating and fidgeting, the muscles in his neck tense and his jaw set tight.

There was definitely something wrong with him. He raced off The Marauder, and now he’s avoiding you again like you were made of bantha dung.

You frowned, your patience thin.

You had to know what was going on. 

You left the room, scanning the hallway to see which way he went. You caught a glimpse of his armor and red bandana turning a corner some ways down the hall, and you jogged trying to catch up with him, calling his name. 

“Hunter! Wait!

Hunter didn’t look back, increasing his pace. His head was throbbing, his codpiece uncomfortably tight,  trying to get you out of his head. It didn’t help that you were chasing him down the hall. 

Hunter took a quick turn down another hallway, opening the first door that he saw. It was an empty training room, with floor mats and other exercise equipment scattered about the room. The door hissed closed behind him, hoping he had lost you.

He wasn’t fast enough, it seemed, as you slammed the button to open the door, stepping in.

“Hunter, what the kriff  is going on?” He could tell you were mad, your lips pursed tight and a flash in your eyes that told him you were here for answers.

Hunter was balling his fists again, not wanting to put you in a situation that made you uncomfortable, hoping he could come up with something to ease the situation.

“Nothing, I just needed some air.”

You glowered, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Hunter, you’ve been avoiding me like I have the plague…did I do something to upset you? If so, let me apologize. You’re acting strange!”

“You didn’t upset me.” Hunter’s response was quick. “It’s just…”

 “Just what?” 

Hunter took in a deep breath. He knew you wouldn’t believe any excuse he came up with. You weren’t stupid.

“You.” Hunter grumbled, unable to look you in the eyes.

“Me?” You questioned. “So it does have to do with me? Hunter, I don’t want to play games!”

Hunter could hear the drop in your voice, not wanting you to think he was angry with you.

“No…it’s something else. My senses…” Hunter scrubbed his face with his hands. 

Hunter sighed. “Whatever you were doing before the debrief…..I can still smell it on you.”

“Hunter, what do you-?” You stopped, processing his words.

Hunter stayed silent.

Oh.

Oh.

Heat scorched your face, wanting to become invisible and shrink into nothing. He could smell that?

“Hunter I’m so sorry, I…umm…” You were almost too embarrassed to speak, your anger replaced with mortification, not realizing his senses were that acute.

“Don’t apologize.” Hunter started toward you. “It’s okay, it's just…overwhelming.”

You bit your lip, your face on fire, seeing how disheveled he seemed, but you could tell something was bubbling beneath his surface.

Your Jedi senses were picking up a need, a desire that he was holding back, one that was boiling over, one that has been held down tight for some time that was finally slipping through the cracks.

“I… didn’t have a chance to finish.” You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of your mouth. “I got a comm for the debrief right as uh…I was almost done.” 

Hunter stared at you, mouth open.

“What are you saying?” His voice was low, his gaze narrowing.

You boldly lifted a hand and traced it down his armored arm. “I’m saying…I’d let you help me finish what I started earlier. If that would fix things, clear your mind.”

Hunter was speechless momentarily, not believing the words coming out of his Jedi’s mouth. 

You were close to him now, closer even than you were in the debriefing room. 

“I…I was thinking about you.” You whispered, your fingers still lightly outlining his armor.

Hunter brought his hand to your neck, tracing his fingers up to cup the side of your face, testing the waters. 

“Has…my scent been making you feel this way the entire time?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes.

Hunter closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing, slowly bringing his forehead to yours. 

“Yes. Every waking moment.” He admitted.

The tension that had been building in Hunter, between the two of you, finally snapped. 

Hunter pressed his entire body into you, walking you back against the wall of the training room, pinning you. Intense heat radiated from him turning your blood into magma, your hands flying to grasp at the back of his head as his armor dug into you.

Hunter leaned down into your neck, inhaling deeply. 

“Do you have any idea how intoxicating you are to me? Do you even know what you do to me?” His tone was a hoarse whisper, like wisps of smoke from a recently doused fire, his hands tracing up your torso over your robes, leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

“Do you realize how much you drive me wild? How often have I thought of you like this?”

It was all out in the open now, there was no point in holding back.

His lips hovered above your pulse point, watching it beat and hearing the blood rushing through your veins.

Your body was engulfed with want, your core aching as you felt Hunter’s breath pant against your neck. “Your body…your smell…you tear me apart at the seams, mesh’la.”

“I didn’t realize…I didn’t think you’d notice-“ you gasped as his lips connected with your neck, his tongue tracing a pattern on your skin, his fingers locked on your waist. 

“I think you did. Oh mesh'la, If I didn't know any better I'd think you like driving me crazy.”

Hunter lifted his head from your neck, locking his eyes with yours. His usual honey-brown irises were almost black, pupils blown wide with unbridled lust. 

You didn’t realize he felt this way for you for so long and felt a little guilty for unintentionally driving him mad. 

“Tell me to stop, and I will.” Hunter gasped, his cock aching in his pants, waiting for your answer, your arousal stronger than before, your body begging to be ravaged. 

You swallowed, momentarily wondering if you should stop this before it got too far, but his touch and feral desire for you were too enticing to ignore. 

You closed the distance between you,  crashing your lips against him. You dug your hands into his hair, kissing with uninhibited abandon, giving him your answer. 

He immediately kissed back with equal fervor, loving the sensation of you gently pulling on his hair, causing the burning flame in his chest to ignite hotter and brighter as your mouths greedily danced. 

You boldly nibbled at his bottom lip, earning a groan from Hunter as you slid your tongue against his, intensifying the already feral kiss. 

You knew this was wrong, against everything, but you didn’t care. The worries of being caught were carelessly thrown to the ground with your robes and his armor, quickly stripping one another, not wanting to waste a single second. 

You traced your fingers over his broad, powerful body as he gave you equal attention, running his thumbs over your soft curves, marveling at your figure. “You’re beautiful.” Hunter rasped. “Maker, I’ve wanted you since I first saw you.”

He searched your eyes one more time for any sign of doubt or hesitation.

 “I’m flattered, Sarge.” You teased, tracing your hand down his biceps, touching his sculpted muscle under his tanned skin. 

Hunter sloppily kissed down your neck and took one of your nipples in his mouth, suckling and teasing, gauging your reaction with every flick of his tongue, quickly learning what you liked. 

You gripped his hair again, panting and moaning as he lavished your breast before switching to the other.

“H-Hunter…” you could barely speak, still tugging at his locks which seemed to spur him on further. 

 “I can smell how much you want me.” Hunter rasped as he slid to his knees, hands caressing your thighs, looking up at you.

 “Can I taste you? Give you what your body has been begging for?” You looked down at the man kneeling before you, a dark and hungry look on his face, sweat beading at his brow, his chest heaving. 

“I need to know if you taste as good as you do in my dreams.”

You swallowed thickly, a new rush of desire flooding your senses. He's been dreaming about me, like this?

“You’ll have to let me know how it compares.” Your voice was raspy, trying to steady yourself, leaning back against the training room wall. 

Hunter smirked as he pressed his nose into your mound, inhaling deeply. 

He was finally at the source of what has been eating him alive the last few weeks, and it was intensely satisfying.

 “I can’t wait to see if your sounds are as pretty as this pussy. You’re dripping. All for me, hm?”

He brushed his nose against your clit, a jolt of pleasure electrifying your body as a lewd sound escaped your lips, louder than intended.

 “Did you like that? Do you want to cum on my face?” He mumbled, nuzzling his nose again against the sensitive nerve. 

You whimpered, needing more, so much more. 

“Y-yes…please, Hunter. I want to cum in your mouth.” 

You were begging now, his stubble scratching against your thighs and his lips gently kissing your labia. 

“That’s my girl, I’ll give you what you want for asking so nicely.” He rumbled into your soaking cunt, his cock weeping at the sight and the scent of you. 

Hunter wasted no time starting his feast on your pussy, probing his tongue and hungrily lapping at your folds.

He truly was eating you like a man depraved, your nails digging into his scalp. It was intense, better than you could have imagined, better than your hand under your blanket, wishing it was Hunter between your thighs. 

Your body shook and you couldn’t hold back the blissed sobs as Hunter gorged himself, his groans increasing in volume as he felt you get closer and closer to your peak, his jaw soaking with your fluid. 

Once again, Hunter quickly recognized your subtle reactions and knew exactly where to lick and suck.

His hooked nose pressed and ground against your clit, bliss building quickly, your legs threatening to give out at the sheer intensity of it all. 

You were a blubbering mess, words not coherent as Hunter moved his focus solely to your clit, needing you to cum. He flattened his tongue and pressed against your bud, grinding his mouth into you as you reached your peak. 

Hunter was barely holding himself together, his hands tightly squeezing your thighs to keep you upright, holding you as you came apart above him. 

Hunter let out a feral growl as you came, catching your release on his tongue, loving how your pussy clenched and legs quivered as your orgasm hit you like a ship going into hyperspace. 

Your vision went white and anything tangible vacated your mind, letting the ecstasy course through your body.

“Kriff, you’re so beautiful when you cum.” Hunter mumbled into your pussy, still licking and kissing between your folds.

 “So much better than my dreams.” You were breathless, coming down from your high, sliding down the wall. Hunter realized your legs were about to give out, wrapped his arms around you, and held you against him. 

Your heart was pounding, trying to piece together what just happened, Hunter’s cock rubbing up against your stomach as he kissed you again, as ravenous and desperate as before, his face dripping with your release. It wasn’t enough, though, for either of you. 

“Hands and knees.” He demanded between your lips furiously molding together. “Now.”

You immediately complied, any shred of your dignity completely gone. You shakily knelt on the ground on a floor training mat, resting your weight on your elbows, your ass sticking in the air.

You looked back at him over your shoulder, and the look on his face was predatory, dangerous even, his eyes completely black with craving.

Hunter knelt behind you, his chest heaving, rubbing his red cock head through your slick folds. You quivered, your cunt still sensitive from your orgasm. 

Hunter slowly nudged against your entrance. “That’s right, relax, mesh’la.” 

His breath was ragged, holding back wanting to slam straight into you and fuck you into oblivion.

 “There you go, just like that…Kriff you’re so warm.” Hunter’s voice was gravelly, letting out a low hiss as he bottomed out. The stretch was wonderful, being stuffed full of him, his hips meeting your ass. 

Seeing you like this, on all fours willing and taking him so effortlessly was almost overloading his system. 

He squeezed your waist, giving a few shallow thrusts that practically made his mind melt, feeling your walls clench and take him perfectly. 

 “Hunter…” You dug your fingernails into the mat, not caring about how desperate you sounded, or how you were exposing your ass to him like an animal in heat. 

“Fuck me, please.” You gasped, pushing back against him. 

“So needy…” Hunter squeezed your ass, slowly pulling out almost all the way. “You’ll get what you’ve been wanting, mesh’la. Don’t worry.”

Hunter quickly pushed back in, earning a pleasured whine from you. He was deliciously thick, and you could feel his cock head and veins glide against your walls as he picked up his pace, fucking you exactly how you wanted for who knows how long. 

“Is this what you wanted?” He grunted, breathless, his broody Sargeant composure crumbling with every thrust deeper inside you, his pace increasing. 

“Did you want to be fucked by me? Did you dream about me, too? Did you touch your perfect pussy and think of me?” 

You nodded, your eyes half-lidded and your mouth hanging open as he fucked you senseless, your cheek now pressed against the mat.

You knew you would probably have a red mark across your face but you didn’t care, just like you didn’t care how his hands would be leaving bruises on your hips as he pounded into you. 

You were thankful these training rooms were soundproof, the obscene slapping of sweaty skin and excessively loud moans hopefully muffled to any passerby.

Hunter groaned at your admission, his calloused hands leaving a trail of fire as they roamed your backside, one hand reaching under you and his finger finding your clit. 

“Did you touch yourself just like this right before the meeting? Wishing it was your Sergeant’s cock?” 

You nodded into the mat again, tears forming at the sides of your eyes, drool pooling under where your face was pressed into the firm fabric, the sheer intensity of him pulling you apart with every frantic thrust.

“Y-yes Hunter, I wished it was you, I wished it was your cock filling me up…” 

Hunter growled, pleased at your answer. 

He applied more pressure to your clit, causing you to convulse and shake against him, crying out his name, his cock pounding into you without pause. 

 “You’re so close, mesh’la, I can feel it. Be a good girl and cum for your Sergeant.”

Hunter leaned down, pressing his abdomen to your back, truly mounting you like an animal, his hips pistoning into you, growling in your ear. 

His control was gone. He needed one thing and one thing only, his mind now focused on a singular task, to feel you come apart on his cock, inhale your release, hear your voice shake as you cry out his name and his name only. 

Hunter’s hand was rubbing perfect, quick circles on your engorged clit, tears falling down the sides of your cheeks as the coil in your belly was wound tighter and tighter with every movement of his finger. 

“H-Hunter I’m so -“ You sobbed, so close to crashing over the edge, his finger relentless against your practically overstimulated bud.

 “Cum for me, now.”

 Hunter snarled in your ear, needing your orgasm more than you. 

“That’s it…let me hear you…” His voice was strained through his clenched jaw, inhaling deeply in the crook of your neck as your walls clenched and trembled around his cock, soaking him as your release rocked your body, every one of his nerves in charged with electricity at the sound and fragrance of your second orgasm.

“So perfect…just like that…” 

Hitched sobs of his name were more than enough to bring him excruciatingly close to his own explosive orgasm that was building quickly. “Where?” His hand was still working your clit, shocks of pleasure jolting your body, his hand soaked with your cum. 

“Inside…implant.” you gasped, and that was more than enough to unload inside you. Hunter bit into your neck, letting out a final low, guttural moan as his cock swelled and twitched, pulsating his release into your cunt. 

Your body was completely wrecked and overstimulated, clenching around his softening cock, feeling his spend leak out of you and onto the mat below. 

Hunter’s thrusts slowed, mumbling incoherent words in your ear, your head ringing and blood pounding in your ears.

Hunter slowly pulled out of you, watching as his cum dripped from your swollen pussy.

“Gorgeous.” He murmured, not being able to help himself as he grabbed your hips, earning a surprised yelp as he flipped you on your back, yanking your pelvis up. 

You were completely blissed, mind hazy, eyelids fluttering, trying to come down from your high. 

Hunter couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of you. He wasn’t done yet.

You gasped as Hunter lapped at your folds once more, gently this time, tasting himself mixed with your juices. You let out a choked groan as he softly teased your clit, cleaning you up with his mouth.

“Too much…Hunter…” You could barely speak, watching as he slowly ate you out. Hunter locked his eyes on you, continuing his languid pace, putting your boneless legs over his broad shoulders for better access. 

Hunter knew he could get one more out of you. “One more, pretty thing, for me.” He mumbled into your folds, swirling his tongue carefully around your aching clit.

You were grasping at nothing, digging your nails into the mat, your gasping mewls music to Hunter’s ears. His hands carefully caressed where he bruised you, gently suckling on your overworked clit, careful and precise. 

Your legs shook as a slow, rolling orgasm washed over your body, sounds unable to leave your mouth, Hunter’s sudden gentleness surprising but welcome.

Your body was covered in sweat, your hair sticking to your forehead and back stuck to the mat, trying to piece yourself together as Hunter removed himself from between your legs, barely registering him kissing you softly, stroking the side of your face, kissing the bite mark on your neck.

You wanted to say something, but the moment was interrupted by Hunter’s commlink chirping in his pile of armor. He cursed, standing up and rifling through his pockets, still buck naked. You sat up on your forearms, trying to figure out how you’d both get out of this room unseen, and what came after.

Hunter grabbed his device, speaking quickly to Tech who was on the receiving end. You didn’t pay much attention to what he was saying, trying to dress yourself and look presentable.

“Tech wants us to run through a simulation of our next assignment.” Hunter handed you your belt as he fixed his blacks, snapping his armor back into place. “But I told him it could wait until tomorrow.” 

You raised your eyebrow, trying to fix your hair. “I’m surprised you’re not running away from me again, Sarg.” You teased lightly, not quite sure what to say after your intense coupling.

Hunter chuckled. “I figured we could get that drink.” 

You looked at him, a blush forming at your cheeks. “To celebrate a successful mission.” He smirked as he adjusted his viroblade on his arm. 

“Agreed.” You answered, touching his arm like you did before, a mischievous flash in your eye.

“Since we are ditching training tonight for a drink, “ You continued, “perhaps we could discuss future strategies in my personal quarters afterwards?”

Hunter’s eyes met yours, the hungry look from before returning.

“Sir yes sir.”

Taglist: @maybethatfanfictionwriter @littlemissmanga @secretthegriffin @secondaryrealm @sinfulsalutations @anxiouspineapple99 @idontgetanysleep @starqueensthings @dystopicjumpsuit @wings-and-beskar @aconstructofamind @wanderer-six @blueink-bluesoul @the-cantina @king-chaos-world @wolffegirlsunite @523rdrebel @dukeoftheblackstar @pb-jellybeans @sleepingsun501 @coraex

[hp-confessions]

Seeing Snape and marauders fans argue all the time is like the live reenactment of the characters in a nutshell.

Both will continue arguing over their takes on that era and how their sides are the better choice. However, no one, or at least most of each community refuses to listen to each other. Instead they keep arguing as if it’s going to solve things.

Usually it’s always just reduced to petty insults.

“Snape deserved to get bullied” On a snape slander post.

“stan bambi” on any and EVERYpositive tt centered around snape.

“She should’ve gotten with snape anyways” on a jily post.

The same thing happens in the book. Insert the name calling.

Then there’s the apologists/victim blamers.

“Snape didn’t do anything wrong. he was right to bully children.”

Just because snapes life sucked doesn’t mean he’s just allowed to take it out on others?

“They were just fifteen.”

Unclothing someone, the shrieking shack incident , and probably having multiple 4v1 isn’t justifiable by any means.

“they matured”

Seeing as sirius still calls snape snivilous at his grown age, snape taking any moment he can to slander any of them, or just remus brushing things under the rug id say that yeah no the fuck they didn’t.

“snape saying mudblood was an accident”

He still said it.

“Shrieking shack was an accident”

Remus got exposed and Snape could’vedied.

“We dont know if they completely took off his underwear so it’s not that-“

exactly. we don’t. yet a lot of evidence points towards it but wtv. either way he still took his pants off. That’s assault.

“His father and the rest nearly killed me and tormented me for seven straight years.”

yes, and that’s bad ofc but that doesn’t excuse snape continuing the cycle and doing the same to his students.

”He was a slytherin! He wasn’t a good person!”

pretty sure a first year wasn’t showing any signs of being death eater material but alright..

then there’s the demonizers….😟

“Snapes a pedo because if harry was a girl he’d be creepy towards harry”

WHAT THE FUCK🤢🤮 NO HES NOT OH MY GOD..😨😭 Genuinley what goes through your mind when you think that.. Snaoe would probably still act hateful or if anything he’d absolutelyavoid fem!harry because in this hypothetical situation she was similar to lily. Not because he’s a pedophile but because of TRAUMA????? HELLO???? Seeing ur bully is one thing but seeing ur dead ex bff is another.. just. because. you. think. he. liked. her. mother. does. not. mean. he’s. going. to. become. a. kid. liker. for. her. daughter. just because harry’s a gender bend doesn’t mean snapes going to transform into a creep. how did you even get that from SNAPE of all people. SNAPE. If you haven’t gotten the memo bro DESPIES no he LOATHES the existence of children. he’d be the last person to be a pdo. Yes he does care for them obviously, but in a way of where if a pedo was idk being creepy with a child bro would 🪄💥🧨🔪🧠 off that pedo…

“Sirius tried to murder snape”

….no…he didn’t. if i recalled sirius was not guilty gor murder charges regarding a rat.. like i said earlier, the shrieking shack incident wasnt okay in the slightest but that doesn’t mean it was purposeful attempted murder. they were stupid (no this also doesn’t justify their actions) and thought it’d scare him and obviously didn’t think their little prank through. they weren’t trying to murder him they were just being assholes. i don’t see sirius using remus to kill, ever. a highly dangerous prank apparently? yeah? murder? no,

“____/____ didn’t contribute at all”

Snape, sirius, and remus literally threw away his life to save harry. not pettigrew tho he’s a little bitch rat i hate pettigrew!!!!!!!👺👺

Anyways, to summarize, everyone’s arguing yet never actually trying to achieve anything but submission when that’s quite literally impossible to accomplish. And that’s because no one’s willing to find a common ground and no one wants to actually create logical arguments. Petty insults and cursed theoretical nonsense isn’t going to solve the argument.

Many Snape fans ignore or straight up defend him bullying students and refuse to acknowledge he was in the wrong.

Many marauders fans ignore or straight up defend the bullying and refuse to acknowledge they were in the wrong.

Snape will refuse to back down from Sirius and Lupin and will continue behaving the way he does.

Sirius and Remus will refuse to back down from snape and continue to do the same things they did as schoolboys.

Real or fantasy, this is something that will never be resolved. maybe because no one cares enough to fix it? maybe because they care too much?

either way i guess it’d be nice to say i like snape and not immediately stereotyped as a snape apologist or get made fun of by it from friends. Im not stupid and if anything i like that he’s morally grey. i don’t support his actions, but i like to see characters with faults and put together why they ended up that way. his home life and other (non bullying) aspects of him are relatable and that’s another reason i like him.

i guess it’d be nice to talk to marauders fans and let them yap abt fanfics and for them not to think that i’m going to instantly call them horrible people for liking the marauders. I may not be in the m fandom but that doesn’t mean i won’t be respectful and gen listen to them. i’m sure that marauders fans like relate to the non bullying aspects aswell.

anyways yeah, i kinda just wished the fandom was a little more chill and not a fucking dumpster fire💀💀

~

[hallowsnothorcruxes]

I feel the same way tbh, I’m a og wolfstar shipper but they (the current marauder stans) kinda ruined the marauders era for me lately. The wolfstar tag isn’t even remotely related to them any more 💔 Fanon and headcanons that I don’t vibe with have taken over everything it feels. idk just don’t like the vibes lately :(

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, it can be really frustrating and sad! 🫶🏻

I have to admit I this started out as a marauders blog 10 yrs ago, too (love remus!!) but quickly turned into a general hp blog, because I was never a big wolfstar shipper or anything, so it was really just the name that stuck. (Everyone knows I’ve always been Dumbledore’s man anyway lol)

But I can imagine how alienating it must feel to be an og in today’s marauders fandom. I also feel like it has gotten a little out of hand with fanon taking over canon and like if most people in the tag enjoy that, they should, but as you said I don’t vibe with that either. (Literally came back on here after hiatus and was so confused to see regulus/jegulus in like almost every post??)

I feel like maybe a lot of it is due to a new generation of marauders fans that have decided to ditch canon altogether (or weren’t even HP fans to begin with) and simply focus on fanon - fueled ofc by some popular fanfics and absolved by JKR’s increasingly problematic online behaviour.

But I also feel like, while it’s sad, there’s no point in being bitter or seriously annoyed about it. It’s still media, people may enjoy whatever they enjoy and if so many people are vibing with it, well they can have their fun. Perhaps there’s something I don’t get about it and this is really just the musings of an old fan, too long in the fandom already. I don’t know. But since I’ve come back, I made my peace with the fandom. I won’t argue with bashers anymore, I won’t get annoyed at canon-ignoring takes anymore, I craft my small bubble and stay in it and only engage with the stuff I enjoy. (Took me the hiatus to do that tho - was necessary because I feel like the grindeldore fandom shortly went through what the marauders fandom does, too, when FB came out. Just on a smaller scale and it was really overwhelming for me who was used to the grindeldore fandom having like a handful peoples in it for more than 10 years.)

Anyway, sorry for rambling - all that is to say I feel you and I’m sorry that it sucks!

[quidfree]

hi! hope you're well and that you're having a good day:) I absolutely adore LMV - I genuinely think it's the best fic I've ever read. anyway, the point of this ask was that I was wondering whether you had any thoughts about sirius as a godfather? like, was he suited for the job, did he actually do a good job... idk, maybe you've answered that question before, in that case, sorry! and ofc don't stress abt answering:))

this is so nice of you ty!!!

ive never talked about dogfather sirius, actually!! what an interesting pair of questions.... i would have to say a qualified yes to both?

was sirius suited for the job: personality-wise, maybe not entirely (raising a child alone in the event of jily deaths would have been Rough, and he’s not exactly a stable parental unit, not to mention he would have spoiled harry rotten), BUT he has the most important prerequisite, which is undying love and loyalty for the potters and for harry, and that means he would have done everything in his power to be a good parent figure to him, which is what really matters, so. not to mention that jily realistically weren’t contemplating he would have to be godfather alone for the majority of harry’s life- with jily around he could have been just The Coolest Godfather Ever instead of harry’s first living parental figure who didn’t treat him like shit.

did he actually do a good job? i would say a resounding yes. bearing in mind he was stuck in azkaban for twelve years (let’s not get into that), we only actively see him godparent harry for three years (plus when he was a baby). obviously baby harry was spoilt v much by his dogfather; what we see of sirius + teen harry also speaks favourably of him, i think. ok, little bit of a rough start what with the unhinged prisoner vibe, but the FIRST thing sirius does when free is go check up on harry- and he keeps tabs via crookshanks etc once at school, knows his interests well enough to send him the firebolt, and he values harry’s opinions enough to not murder peter on the spot despite his thirteen year revenge vendetta. obviously, the fact harry is the spitting image of someone sirius hasnt seen except for in his nightmares for over a decade doesn’t hurt, but he’s just so awkwardly sweet to harry afterwards- when he offers harry to come live with him, expecting him to refuse and completely understanding of it, it’s so endearing (and it always broke my heart how excited they both were about it- i bet sirius was thinking about another time a potter asked to live together). and from the start sirius ALWAYS speaks to harry like a whole person, not a child to be kept in the dark (which, if everyone else had done, looking at you dumbledore...)- the speech he gives him before he escapes is so important for harry to hear, especially from someone who knew his parents. sirius is always so careful to tell harry things about james and lily. now, it’s not that sirius treating harry like an adult would be ideal on its own, and i do think in part the issue is that he skipped his entire childhood and harry looks so much like james, but i also don’t think sirius actually treats harry too much like a grown man, apart from slipups- just like a grown teen. he advises him against threats, tells him the edgy backstories harry SHOULD know (and no other adult ever wants to tell him), looks after him as best he can (HE LIVES IN A CAVE EATING BONES TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM), listens to his teen melodrama. even when he’s fucking up by encouraging harry’s risk-taking i don’t think he’s treating him like an adult- he’s treating him like a *marauder*, because at that age, that’s what he or james would have done; being able to make informed choices is what sirius would have wanted at his age. i don’t think molly or sirius necessarily have the better argument- both make good points; sirius gets what harry wants and molly gets what harry might need even if he doesn’t want it, but that makes perfect sense- molly is an older woman who’s raised seven children, and sirius is in his early thirties and lived with kids for (1) year. james and sirius were order members by age /eighteen/ and sirius was in azkaban at /twenty-one/- he was basically a kid HIMSELF before he got put in the torture prison. i always found it so unfair that literally none of the other adults ever mention the debilitating mental issues he must be suffering from- remember the lifelong PTSD hagrid got from a MONTH there???- and that’s without even mentioning dumbledore’s purposeful exacerbating of them. not to say that mental health excuses poor parenting, but sirius both /isn’t a parent/ and really does very well at filling that role anyways, on the whole, so i think he can be cut some slack for once in his life. harry loves sirius SO MUCH and sirius loves him right back- and sirius teaches him some of the most important lessons in the whole series, even if he himself never managed to learn them- lessons that i really think shape the adult harry becomes, and the kind of lessons his parents might have taught him. so overall i’d give him kudos- and considering the absolute bullshit he’s living through, with james and lily dead, azkaban sucking the light out of him for over a decade, peter running free, and dumbledore QUARANTINING HIM IN THE HOUSE WHERE HIS ABUSIVE DEAD MOTHER IS (?!?!), i would say he does a stellar fucking job.

anyways harry & sirius’ relationship is so important to the series- even the GP was upset when sirius dies in OOTP, largely because everyone could see how bad it hit harry. that scene in dumbledore’s office? oof. they just care about each other so v much and we were robbed of a lifetime of sirius as harry’s absolute fav adult. if sirius had held onto harry that day- if dumbledore hadn’t decided to place him with abusive bigots for a plan which would only pay off by OOTP- i honestly think sirius would have outlived the series. because with harry he’d have been less unhinged by grief, able to testify properly, gotten support from other order members, not gone to azkaban- and with harry he would have had a reason to live. thirteen years of raising harry would have made harry the snarky little fucker he is at his core by age eleven, confident and happy and very good at quidditch indeed; thirteen years would have made sirius as whole as he can get. they would have patched things up with remus. there’d be no OOTP tragedy of errors. sirius would have punched dumbledore at some point. harry would have sent a pic of him and his new friends over week 1 of hogwarts and sirius would have punched through a wall and then calmly strolled over to hogwarts and taken ron’s pet rat over to minerva mcgonnagal, where unspeakable things happened to it. he would have gently butted heads with hermione (but won her over via crookshanks if nothing else) and gotten on very well with ron; snape would barely have been able to be such a dick to him because sirius would have gleefully sent him howlers for every minute of his day until he cracked. lucius on the school board terrorizing the other parents? not on sirius “billionaire heir to the toujours pur line” black’s watch- he’d happily invest even more obnoxious wealth into the school fund to get first call, not to mention lucius’ imperius excuse would not get very far with sirius around. “who’s nicholas flamel? we can’t ask adults- we’d get in trouble with the teachers and our parents are either muggles or wouldn’t know- oh wait nevermind, sirius, who’s nicholas flamel?” no more expelliarmus-ing for four years; harry Trained Duellist By Age 11 more like. dobby the house-elf? oi dobby sirius is family too- now spit it all out, won’t you? chamber of secrets? yeah, sirius knows what that is. parseltongue? yeah, sirius is familiar, and fuck those other kids for being weird to harry about it, does he want to come home for the holidays? weird creepy diary? oh, sirius’ family will have Magicke Moste Evile around somewhere. book 3 is just Harry’s Holiday: The Book because there’s no sirius subplot. you think snape would have dared treat remus the way he does with sirius hovering around paying half his checks? i think the fuck not. you bet your ass they had box seats for the whole of gryffindor house at the Quidditch World Cup. barty crouch? yeah, sirius knows THAT asshole- and remembers his son. catch harry whizzing through all the challenges minus the nerves ahead of time while sirius and remus do half the investigating for him. yule ball? no sweat, just go with ron; that’s what james and sirius would have done. if the maze went the way it goes in the books, “moody” wouldn’t even have been able to drag harry off without sirius intervening. and sirius “ptsd” black would have been The One Person who Got harry’s feelings in OOTP- not to mention sirius Skilled Legilimens black could have coopted that shit from snape and gotten harry up to scratch. sirius-raised-harry would have given umbridge twice as much shit. no kreacher lying here- and harry has sirius’ mirror anyways. so no massive drama in the ministry, and no suicidal recklessness / desperate first taste of freedom on sirius’ part means no veil incident even if they got there. hence book six through seven going Quite Differently. sirius shows up book six to be DADA teacher, why not. him and remus think it’d be funny, and besides he’s petty enough to steal the job from snape. move over firenze, new hot teacher in town. half the books are avoidable.

[randomfandomimagine]

Stupidly Obvious (Remus x Reader)

Character: Remus Lupin ft .Wingman Sirius Black

Fandom: Harry Potter/Marauders

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Gryffindor!Reader

Title: Stupidly Obvious

Requested by anon:

remus x reader where she’s best friends with the marauders(but she doesn’t know about the animagus stuff) and he has an obvious (not for her ofc) crush on her and they get him to ask her to the yule ball. but it’s a full moon and remus has to leave with a shitty excuse and reader is super sad bc she thinks she’s not good enough for him. reader leaves and goes to the shrieking shack, a secret hiding place of hers to be alone. there she meets the marauders in there animal form and she is super shocked that remus is a werewolf and he almost attacks her but sirius saves her & later in the morning when remus turns back they meet at the black lake alone&he says sorry & he wants to confess to her but he thinks she will never like a werewolf like him. So Sirius steps in and ends their misery by saying that they like each other so why don’t they just kiss.fluff pls thx♡♡

A/N: This is the first proper imagine of the Marauders I’m writing, so bear with me! I hope it was accurate and I got the characterization right and that it was any good :P

I smiled when I saw the four of them walking my direction, with James stupidly shouting my name to make me laugh and Sirius jokingly winking an eye at me. Peter smiled at me in silence, and Remus just stared at me shyly.

I had been friends with those four ever since we were all sorted in Gryffindor back in our first year, and Remus had never acted that way around me, and I couldn’t really understand why.

Lately he had been behaving strangely, they all had! But specially him, as he seemed always quieter than usual, not to mention flustered and shy. I asked him multiple times, but he would always brush it off or change the subject.

The other three weren’t much help either, because they would change the subject as well. I felt like I was missing something, not understanding those complicity glances and low giggles they sent each other.

“Hey, Y/N” James was the first one to speak up, stepping up and placing a friendly arm over my shoulders. “Remus here wants to talk to you”

“Really?” I replied, excited that he was willing to face me. “What is it?”

Remus finally seemed to relax his tense posture and his concerned expression as he warmly smiled at me.

“I wanted to…” He began to say, pursing his lips together as though he couldn’t find the right words.

“Just be honest and straightforward, Remus” Sirius whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear, just as he pushed his friend closer to me.

“I just wanted to ask you…” Almost asking them for support, Remus looked over his shoulder to the rest, who nodded encouragingly. “If you have a date for the dance”

“Not yet…” I pouted and rolled my eyes. “No one asked me”

“Would you go with me?” He asked instantly after, so fast that I hardly understood what he said.

“Yeah, sure!” I smiled in excitement, knowing how fun it would be to go with one of my best friends. “Such a good idea, just go with a friend! I should have thought-“

I interrupted myself because, behind him, James and Sirius were making weird gestures, shaking their heads and ushering me to stop talking. And Peter just watched me with wide eyes.

“Eh… exactly” Remus piped up in the end after a moment of silence.

He dedicated me a weak smile before he turned around and left where he came from. Peter followed him, and I noticed how he made wide gestures to him in an attempt to catch his attention.

“What the hell was that?” I asked Sirius and James, confused.

“Nothing, Y/N” James patted my shoulder, with a mysterious smile, and went to reunite with the others.

“Just… dress up for the dance and get pretty, okay?” Sirius chuckled as his arm casually fell over my shoulders.

We started walking to the Great Hall, and so I chuckled and pushed him a little.

“Are you saying I have to dress up to be pretty, Sirius?”

“I wouldn’t dare, Y/N, not unless I want to be turned into a frog”

*

I was oddly jittery when the day of the dance came. Everyone was rushing, pacing and hurrying as they prepared to go to the Yule Ball.

I stood before the mirror, watching my reflection thoughtfully. If it weren’t because my roommate assured me that I looked great, I would have been very self-conscious about it.

Honestly, I couldn’t understand why I was so nervous! I was just going to meet with my friend Remus and hang out with the rest of my friends as usual. With the small difference that we were all dressed up and we were going to a dance. Why was that any different from any other regular day?

Taking a deep breath, I left the bedrooms and passed through the Gryffindor Common Room until I made it to Great Hall, where the Yule Ball was being held at.

I glanced around looking for my friends until I found them. It wasn’t too hard, as they were being loud and rambunctious as usual. Smiling to myself, I walked over to them. They hadn’t noticed me yet.

James and Sirius were talking amongst them, and I could have sworn I heard my name being spoken in the conversation.  

“Don’t you know it’s rude to talk about someone behind their back?” I playfully told them, interrupting them.

“Y/N!” James smirked at me, eyeing me up and down.

“Wait until Remus sees you” Sirius chuckled in disbelief. “You look great!”

I glanced at Peter as he was silent, and he just smiled at me.

It was probably the first time we saw each other out of our usual school tunics, or at least into something so fanciy, and it was quite the sight. To witness them wearing tuxedo like outfits was strange yet oddly charming. And for once, James had managed to comb that mess of a hair.

“Where is he, by the way?” I asked them, strangely eager to see him.

“He was a little nervous, he’s taking his time” James winked at me in a way that I didn’t really understand.

I frowned and opened my mouth to ask, but Sirius interrupted me.

“Are you nervous, Y/N?” His smirk had a mischievous hint to it as he leaned an elbow over my shoulders.

“No…” I lied, gently pushing him away from me.

“You do look nervous” Peter pointed out.

“Shut up, I don’t!”

“You better not be lying, because here he comes”

I quickly turned around, hurriedly combing my hair hoping they weren’t messing with me. But indeed, there he was. Remus looked very handsome, and I nearly melted at the tender smile he dedicated me when he saw me. His eyes were dripping with fondness as he approached me.

“Y/N!” Kindly, he took my hands in his. “You look… beautiful! So beautiful!”

“You don’t look too bad yourself” I grinned at him.

I could hear Sirius and James muttering behind us, even giggling. But I was too smitten with Remus to pay attention to them.

*

It had been a lovely evening, like a beautiful dream. Perfect.

I had fun with my friends, slow danced with Remus and talked and laughed a lot. But all good things must come to an end. In this case, rather, the magic spell was broken when Remus left behind his calm yet jittery behavior, which was replaced with a panicked and hurried one.

Had I done something wrong? Was it something I said? Why did he look so frantic and worried all of a sudden?

“I knew this was a bad idea…” I heard him whispering to himself as he broke away from our embrace.

“Re-Remus?” I spluttered, completely astonished.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I have to go, I…” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine as he struggled to get away from me, despite my efforts to hold him back.

“What’s wrong?” I urged him, desperately trying to get him to stay, to linger in the closeness and intimacy.

“I… There’s something I… I’m sorry”

Seeing as he wasn’t giving me a clear answer, I turned to the other three. They exchanged glanced of concern in silence, almost forgetting I was there with them.

“We gotta go” Sirius hurriedly mumbled, urging them all outside.

“Sorry” Peter turned to me one last time before leaving me there. Alone.

Resigned, I sat down and heaved a big sigh.

I couldn’t understand, they didn’t give me a proper explanation! They didn’t give me an excuse, not even a crappy one! Was it really that bad?

It was me, wasn’t it? Remus noticed we were getting too affectionate and romantic and he didn’t like the idea of it. Was I not good enough for him? I thought he enjoyed being with me! Why did he abandon me like that then, so hurriedly? Did I really scare him off?

Maybe I was just deceiving myself thinking he might like me. Maybe he just left, dragging the rest along with him, because he saw things were getting out of hand. He just… ditched me!

I absently looked up, feeling a painful and empty sadness taking over me. All across the room were happy couples talking, dancing or laughing together. It was almost like they were reminding me what I could be doing at that moment with the boy that, I realized, I liked. That I really really liked.

I only noticed when I started craving something I didn’t have. Something that I nearly got but that was snatched from me.

Heartbroken and miserable, I stood up and left the dance. There was only one place I wanted to be at, and it was far far away from there.

A place that somehow helped me think and calm down when I was upset. Perhaps because of the feeling of isolation it gave me, that I could relate to when I was in a mood bad enough to seek it.

Taking advantage of the secret passage way of the Whomping Willow that the boys had told me about –which they discovered not too long ago and were planning to write down, along with the others that would someday hopefully help other lawbreakers like themselves -, I headed for the Shrieking Shack in the hopes that it would comfort me enough to then go back to Hogwarts.

*

I thought I might, but I didn’t cry. I just sat there, alone, trying to keep my mind blank. And eventually, the silent environment of the Shrieking Shack –even though everyone called it so, whenever I went there everything remained quiet, which confirmed that the abandoned house wasn’t haunted like the rumors said –along with the calm ambiance of the night, helped me calm down. I was still upset, of course, but I was feeling a little better.

Just as I wondered why the Shrieking Shack was called like that if I never heard any shrieking in it, a shrill scream sounded in the distance. I gasped, frightened, and stood up.

Absently brushing the dust off my dress, I stood up and stared at the direction the shriek came from.

Knowing the best idea would be to hide from the danger, I left the room and went to the next room when I heard hurried footsteps coming closer.

I peaked at the door, somewhat curious to see what was happening. Four voices talked over each other, frantic and almost panicked. But… they sounded familiar.

“We’re almost there, hold on!”

“Fight it, you can do it!”

“I can’t!”

“It’s too late!”

I gasped when I saw none other than Remus Lupin, being held down by James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Because it seemed like he was… changing. Shifting.

His features were elongating and becoming sharper and wilder. Almost like those of an animal. What was happening?!

Too worried to think straight, I jumped out of my hiding place and revealed my presence to them.

“Remus?” I muttered, even if my voice came out lower than I intended.

Startled by my sudden presence there, the three boys turned to me in awe. Until Remus fully shifted into a werewolf. And because they were distracted by me, he escaped from their grip.

I screamed as I saw him lunge at me, completely rid from his human side as the moonlight entered through the cracks of the planked windows. I should have known.

While I waited for him to inevitably tackle me and hurt me, my mind did something strange. It slowed time and I found myself thinking back.

Back to other nights that also happened to be full moon, in which Remus would excuse himself and disappeared for many hours. Back to the mornings he returned, worn out and exhausted, and would never explain what happened to him, no matter how much I asked.

Part of me always knew there was something going on. Part of me figured Remus was a werewolf, piecing everything together. But the conscious side of me preferred to see Remus as I always did. The calm, kind and gentle boy I liked so much.

The werewolf side of him clashed so much with the other one that I just refused to believe it. Until then.

When Remus was tackling me to the ground, hurting my arm as I hit it when I fell. I screamed out in pain and terror, but his fangs never made contact with my skin.

I realized I had shut my eyes tight when I had to open them to see what was going on. A big black dog was defending me, tearing the werewolf form of Remus away from me.

To make sure my friends were safe, I looked over to my friends. James and Peter were still there, but where had Sirius gone to?!

Unless… the black dog was Sirius.

Once Remus was temporarily dazed by the attack, the dog glanced at the boys and then at me. Without further ado, the dog turned back into Sirius, who gripped my wrist and dragged me away from there in a rush.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! What the hell is going on, Sirius?!”

“Remus is a werewolf”

“That much I figured myself”

“We became animagi to help him” Sirius urgently tugged at me so I would walk faster, never making eye contact. “James is a stag and Peter is a rat”

“Why hadn’t you told me?” I exclaimed, outrage by what I was just finding out. “I had the right to now!”

“We wanted to tell you” Sirius only stopped once we were at the end of the passage way, near the Whomping Willow. “But Remus refused, he was afraid of letting you know”

“Why? I don’t understand, Sirius, why…”

“There’s no time for that right now, you need to get to safety” He shook his head vehemently. “Besides, that’s not for me to say”

“But-“

“Go to school, and don’t come back here”

“What?! I’m not gonna-“

“Promise, Y/N”

Watching the urgency and concern in his eyes, I sighed and obliged.

“I promise, Sirius” I nodded and he nodded back.

Then he disappeared back inside to assist our friends on restraining Remus.

I resigned myself to keep my promise and went back to Hogwarts. And even though it was night time and everyone had left the ball to go to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get any sleep at all that night.

*

The next day everything felt hazy like a dream.

It was not strange in our wizarding world, but discovering the boy I liked was a werewolf and my best friends were animagi was quite the shock. I was still trying to completely wrap my mind around the idea.

However, I went to Remus in the Common Room and asked him to meet later. And there we were, even if we were supposed to be talking and we hadn’t said a word so far.

We just walked in silence, being awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe asking Remus to talk and sort things out wasn’t the best idea, but I refused to let him go so easily. Even if it was as a friend, I wanted to keep him around.

And for that we needed to clarify some things, like what happened the other day. I wasn’t stupid, I knew a werewolf when I saw one. But why did he keep it from me? Why did the rest of them know and not me? Did he not trust me?

Every now and then he would look at me and open his mouth, just to regret it and resign himself to remain quiet. I wanted to say something myself, but I didn’t know what. After all, he was the one that needed to explain himself.

Remus cleared his throat as we walked alongside the Black Lake.

“I’m sorry” He uttered in the end, finally breaking the suffocating silence.

“For what?” I piped up as well, but he didn’t reply.

I stared at him, silently urging him to speak up. But he just frowned and looked down to the ground. He seemed troubled.

“I knew you two would be here doubting yourselves and not confessing!” A voice said behind us, startling us.

As we looked over our shoulders, we saw our dear friend Sirius running our direction to catch up with us.

“Sirius, what…?” Remus began saying, but his friend’s glare shut him up.

“Wait, confessing?” I asked, eyeing them intensely.

“He thinks you will think differently of him for being a werewolf” I had never seen our friend so fed up, he even rolled his eyes tiredly.

“Why would I?” I turned to Remus, gently squeezing his upper arm to reinforce my words. “You can’t control it, it’s who you are when you’re Remus that matters to me”

With the corner of my eye, I saw Sirius grinning widely at my words. Almost proudly.

Remus, on the other hand, seemed taken aback by my response. He didn’t react at first, until he smiled just a little and locked eyes with me.

“Really? I thought that-“ He began to say, just to be interrupted by Sirius.

“Why don’t you just stop being stupid?” He shoved us both a little. “You like each other, it should be obvious!”

I felt my cheeks burning and knew that I was blushing. It was a cheeky thing to say, but it somehow reassured me despite my embarrassment.

I was right, Remus did enjoy being with me! He did like me! So it was probably his fear of rejection why he kept everything from me. It was that what held him back from telling me the truth, from telling me everything.

“It’s so stupidly obvious!” Sirius groaned in exasperation.

“So you do like me back” I uttered with a happy chuckle.

“Like you back?” Remus was dumbfounded, and I noticed he was blushing a little as well.

“There we go” Sirius seemed to finally calm down, because he crossed his arms in satisfaction. “Now kiss”

“Sirius…” I whined in annoyance. “You’re embarrassing-”

Remus did, in fact, kiss me. It took me by surprise and I probably blushed even more, judging by the bright chuckle coming from Sirius. But Remus was smiling at me as he broke away, in a wide and calm tender gesture.

That was the Remus I knew and loved. In fact, the Remus I now knew more.

[th1syearsgirl]

Here’s my issue: if Regulus has been a tad more humble in his willingness to do the “right” thing — if he’d swallowed his pride enough to enlist Sirius’s help (and by extension Dumbledore’s), then he could’ve ended the war before Snape ever got a reason — let alone a chance — to be anything more than what he was at the time, a wholly willing and unrepentant Death Eater. And ofc once the war was over Snape would be sent to Azkaban as nothing more than just that, end of story.

It’s a popular fanfic route I’ve seen many Jily!live AUs take — that’s the kind of serious power Regulus had under his belt with the knowledge he had. Even when Snape turned traitor he didn’t know about Horcruxes and thus certainly wasn’t half as useful — if Regulus had joined the Order and essentially been the one to take Snape’s spy mantle (and the benefits of it), realistically he’d not only have reconciled with Sirius in life, but between him and Dumbledore (and whoever else they let in on the secret — in fic it’s typically the Marauders, as it’s Sirius that Regulus approaches first) they could’ve ended the war before either the prophecy was made, or before Voldemort had time to seriously settle on the Potters/Longbottoms as contenders.

So in that sense I agree, Regulus’s knowledge at the time of his betrayal made his betrayal 10x that of what Snape’s was even after Snape turned traitor (as not once do we ever see Snape provide such key knowledge. The bulk of his undercover work is spent @ Hogwarts tormenting kids until Voldemort’s rise makes him relevant again; and even the main payout of going among the Death Eaters seems to be to make him Headmaster in DH where kids are literally being treated worse than they were under Umbridge anyway so).

But it comes down to the fact that ultimately, Regulus DIDN’T put his knowledge to good use in canon. For whatever reason, he decided to fly it solo, leaving the locket to Kreacher to (attempt to) destroy after he himself was dead, while giving Kreacher zero follow-up instructions on what to do if he COULDN’T destroy it, like oh say, enlisting Sirius’s or Dumbledore’s help. Kreacher’s solution was to mope for a good 16+ years & keep the locket to himself once it turned out he couldn’t destroy it. Regulus’s overall betrayal turned out to be an utter flop because of this. I get that the kid was 18-19 and going off to face his death, so like, no hate to him for not being a Dumbledore-level planner in these circumstances. I like the kid and all, but admittedly it’s more for the potential and guts and (semblance of a) moral compass that he showed, rather than for the overall effect of his actions. Which weren’t very effective at all, and could easily have been more so.

You know what really bugs me?

The fact that Voldemort never knew about the fake locket. He never knew that Regulus was the one who found out his secret and took the real locket. He never knew that Regulus’s betrayal was 10x that of Snivellus Snape or how instrumental Regulus was in his downfall. IT MAKES ME SO MAD ik that Voldy doesn’t have real human emotions but just imagine his face if he read the note inside the fake locket. GIVE REGULUS BLACK THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES !!