#then its back to 11am. for two days. then switch to 3:30am for the next month. fuck you. be back to work in less than 8 hours.

[alltherelicsofalifelonglived]

full time job my beloathed

[stephiebutton]

So on Thursday before Coachella, my friend (who bows at the Altar of Ariana) sent me Ari’s posts on IG — one of the *NSYNC pay per view concert in which baby Ari was in the audience; and the new video of her lip syncing to Tearin’ Up My Heart. I thought maybe he was trying to convert me to an Arianator, but I honestly didn’t think much of it, nor did he, so I was just like ok, that’s cute!

On Friday, I had several people text me over a two hour timeframe when the rumors started spreading that *NSYNC may be playing Coachella—all while I was at work and couldn’t really wrap my head around it or even take the time to research it myself. At first I was like REALLY? Then I was like REALLY! By Friday evening, I knew something was going to go down, I just didn’t know what. I had convinced myself that they were going to perform, and that I had to be there, and I even researched flights and tickets; but then, I convinced myself that they were only going to introduce her, and I didn’t need to go. I was scheduled to close at work Sunday night, so I basically threw my hands in the air and was like “Oh well, I can’t go.”

Saturday rolled around, and I had a nagging feeling that I needed to try harder to make it happen, because whatever was going down was something that I needed to see. I knew that if I didn’t try everything I could, I would regret it. I had to close at work Saturday night, which means I had to be there around 3pm and work until 11:30pm. The gal that was scheduled to open on Sunday was still there when I arrived, so as she was getting ready to leave, I said “I need a favor...” and for some reason, I hesitated in asking her, like I didn’t really know what to say or how to say it, like the answer could actually change my life, so I just looked at her with a weird sideways smile, then finally asked if she could switch with me, so I come back and open Sunday morning instead of closing. She said she had to check with her family and see if they had plans, and she would get back to me. Thirty minutes after she left, she texted and said it was all good, that we could switch! From that point on, everything just snowballed. I had the biggest obstacle out of my way, so now to make the rest happen...

I went back and fourth about a ticket to the event. At first, I was like, “I’ll figure it out when I get down there,” like I usually do for most concerts I attend. I checked Stub Hub first, and was willing to pay whatever I needed to, but the only problem with that was because Coachella uses wristbands, not tickets, all bands had to be picked up in person. I called them to see what the latest pick up time was, and if anyone could pick up for me, and all other options I could think to exhaust, but it ended up not working out since I wasn’t going to get down there until much later. At that point, I was like “YOLO, I’ll find someone selling one outside!” But then I realized how late I was going to get there, and was like, “dude, if I don’t have a ticket by time I get there, no one is going to be hawking them; so I’m screwed!”

Then finally, I turned to the one place that scares me the most, Craigslist! I went through the posts, most were wristbands for Weekend 2, but I found one for Weekend 1, advertised for the cheapest I had seen any advertised, anywhere! I replied via text immediately, really not thinking I’d get a reply since the event was well underway and the wristband had probably already been sold. To my surprise, within minutes, the postee replied. I asked if it was still available, and he (I didn’t know if it was a he, she or other at the time) replied that yes, it was, but someone was supposed to pick it up later. But he also said that so many people had flaked already, that he wasn’t counting on it. After confirming it was a Weekend 1 wristband, I told him that I wanted it, 100%, guaranteed! The only problem was that he had advertised it from San Francisco and I was across the Bay, and I wouldn’t be able to pick it up until after midnight. He then replied that he was actually in Oakland, which happened to be the city right next to me! I couldn’t believe it! Aaaaand, it was only $200, which happened to be the EXACT amount of money I had in my wallet, and usually I don’t carry any cash at all! I let the mid shift manager know that I had to step out to make a miracle happen!

I’m not going to lie, I was like, “what if it’s a serial killer?!” “What if it’s a ploy to rob me?!” “Am I going to die?!” So I shared the address with the other manager in case the cops needed to know where to find my body. Two associates hugged me in case they never saw me again, and I was on my way. I texted the other manager when I got to the pick up spot, but I didn’t see her reply immediately, so I didn’t reply right away. She was worried that the “Craigslist murderer” kidnapped me and had been the one to text her that I was there safely, even though he had probably already cut me into pieces, just to throw off suspicion. 😂😂 😂 (we may or may not have seen too many SVUs or CSIs). All in all, it took less than 10 minutes to get there, less than 5 minutes for the exchange, and less than 10 minutes back. The course of my life changed in less than a lunch break! Now the second hurdle had been cleared.

I texted a few friends a picture of the Coachella box and they were all in semi-disbelief/not really surprised/kinda amazed/planning my *NSYNC junkie intervention. But they knew, if anyone was going on this adventure, it was me!

I had posted on Facebook trying to get someone to ride down to So Cal with me, so that I wasn’t traveling alone (I would have anyways, but company is always appreciated on long journeys). I was trying to talk my friends and fellow fans into winging it and coming along, but no bites. Finally, at about 9pm, one of my cousins replied and said she, her husband, and their baby girl were considering going down to Disney to join some of their family, and if I was still looking for some road dogs, they were in.

Schedule, check; wristband, check; road dogs, check. Everything was coming together.

I was home from work at 11:30pm, picked a few outfits, packed, showered, and was in bed by 2am. I met with my mom at 6:30am to exchange cars since hers was a little bit more current with the maintenance, and then I was back at work at 7am to get the building open and operating. The morning is still a blur. My fellow manager arrived at 11am, and I was out the doors by 11:30. I met my cousin and family at noon, and we were on our way. We got an hour into the drive and then the gas light came on. I was so excited that I had freaking forgot to get gas before we left! Like it never even crossed my mind. I had one mission, and I forgot all the steps I still needed to take to get there 😂. Luckily we were still close to civilization, so filling up happened, then we proceeded on the adventure of a lifetime. I think we only stopped a couple times for gas and a baby break on that six hour journey to our first stop. Let me tell you, my baby cousin is a true hero! That 5 month old was so well behaved, didn’t need a whole lot, and was just a little trooper. My cousin-in-law did a lot of the driving on the way down and I am so grateful for that, because it had already been a long day leading up to the trip, and it was going to be an even longer night...

We arrived in Anaheim around 6:15pm. They got checked in their room, my cousin-in-law took the car to fill up, while I got ready and prepped for the last two hour stretch of the trip.

I was officially en route to Coachella by 6:45pm. I remember eating very little all day because I just couldn’t, and I remember snacking on an apple and some goldfish during those last two hours to Coachella. (This is irrelevant but I’m throwing in all the deets I can recall).

I had never been anywhere near Coachella or Palm Springs, so I was really disoriented when I finally made it to that last highway before the getting to my destination. Traffic wasn’t horrible, but it was still quite a trek, so I was slowly getting anxiety with each passing minute. I followed directions directly to the fairgrounds, however, it was about 8:45pm at that point, and the streets were blocked a mile in every direction. I circled the area looking for anywhere to park, feeling helpless, I finally pulled over to ask someone what to do, and they informed me that parking had JUST shut down (at this point it was about 9pm). They suggested that I park at a shopping center and Uber in. I found a shopping center 3 miles away and requested an Uber. I was throwing things in my fanny pack trying to get it together because my Uber was on its way. The guy was only able to get me a mile and a half closer because of the street blockages, so I sped walked a mile and a half in, and started the winding path through the gates of Coachella.

I knew Ariana was scheduled to play at 10:30pm, and at this point it was probably 9:30pm, I was close enough, and I knew I would make it. I was no longer worried about making it in, but now I was having major anxiety and freaking out, and semi-crying at what might be happening in the next hour. There was a lot of talking to myself on that walk, the main message to myself was “BITCH BE COOL!” I knew it wouldn’t be a long line, since it was so late and the night was almost over. People were actually leaving as I was walking in and I’m thinking to myself, “don’t you people understand that *NSYNC is about to be on that stage?! Y’all are going to regret leaving early! I wonder how you are going to feel knowing you missed this when everyone would be talking about this in the morning!” But ya know what, not my problem. Their loss!

The walk into the festival felt just as long as the walk to the fairgrounds. It felt like miles of a fenced off path, which was made of dirt, but not just any dirt. The chunks of dirt were so huge, it was like walking on rocks. I was certain I was about to sprain my ankle, but I reminded myself that it would be worth it and the hospital would be there when it was over.

I made it through the gated path, nothing sprained, just a little sweat. I made it through security, and I was IN. I had absolutely no idea where I was going. I threw this trip together so last minute that I had no time to prep. I walked over to a tent covered stage. It was a big stage and I was like is this it?! I was looking for some sign labeling the stage or some list of set times, and found nothing. I asked around, the first two security people I asked were no help! One was so rude, he was like, “I don’t know, did you look at your map!” I’m thinking “mother f-er, don’t you think if I had a map I would know where the F I’m going, why would I waste my precious breath speaking to you?! I was like “dude, I JUST got here and there is no map and I need to know where the main stage is.” So his rude ass referred me to someone else who was nicer, but said that he didn’t know where the main stage was. I’m thinking “are you people kidding me?! How are you working the most popular festival known to mankind and you can’t tell me where the main stage is?!” A little panic started to set in. It was dark, it was getting late, her set was rapidly approaching, and I had no idea where I was going. So finally, I was referred to another guy, who actually pointed me in the right direction. He’s like “its all the way on the other side, past that tent, past the beer garden and you’ll see it.” The act that was on the stage I had first seen upon entrance had just started, and some people were running towards me to get to it, so I was going against traffic, but my destination was clear now. Once I had the stage in my sight, I stopped for a water. The girl selling those very reasonably priced water bottles (only 2 bucks! That was practically free in festival land) was like “I like your shirt” (an *NSYNC crop tee simply styled with *NSYNC across the chest. [PS I DON’T wear crop tops, but I figured, cuando en Coachella right?!]). And I simply asked, “this is the place right?” And she just enthusiastically nodded Yes. It was about to go down. I tried to locate a restroom, because I mean, I had just spent 2+ hours driving and chugging an energy drink and water, making no stops, but there were no restrooms in sight, and I was not about to walk back to the entrance where they were. I had done way too much just to get within eye shot of that stage, I figured, what’s a little pee in my pants?! It was probably gonna happen upon seeing *NSYNC for the first time in 17 years anyways! (PSS I didn’t actually pee my pants. I think my whole body had shut down at the point because nothing more was going to get in my way).

I kinda of walked back and fourth across the field, I walked all the way down the right side. I had one friend there already, but trying to get in contact with anyone in that mass of people was impossible. It was hard to tell where a good spot would be, because a lot of people were sitting down, so getting an accurate read was not happening. I knew just being there was all I needed, regardless of what I could or couldn’t see, but I really did want to see SOMETHING. My brain was all over the place, I was like “I could just start pushing through people. I could go all the way up front but all the way to the side,” the options were limitless. I ultimately didn’t want to cause any drama by pushing through people, I didn’t want a harsh angle of the stage, so I figured if I was semi central I would at least catch a glimpse of whatever was going down, no matter how far back I was standing. I couldn’t actually get centered because the sound and lighting booth was to my left and the people were too packed in to get through any further, not to mention there was a fenced off area in the middle for VIPs. (In fact, that’s where Billie Eilish and Justin Bieber were meeting. I remember seeing the crowd directly around that spot all holding up their lights and phones. I heard rumblings that it was Bieber, but I could not possibly care less, I’m not a fan [again, another irrelevant point, but it’s part of my memory, so whatevs!]) I settled on my spot and reminded myself that being there was enough. I’ve also done enough GA shows to know that when the show starts, people push in and up, so that was going to be my game plan.

By this time, it was probably about 10pm, and I only had thirty minutes to go! I was calm and quiet, because the ONLY thing I wanted in life might actually be happening, and I was there, I was a part of it. Ariana might have been a few minutes behind schedule, and I had no clue when the song I was waiting for would be coming, so I stayed calm and waited for it. It was the fourth song in, and when I heard the first cords to “Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored” I immediately started crying, and my camera went up in the air. If *NSYNC was actually going to be there, this was the song. This was my entire trip, the whole saga, coming to its peak, my dreams potentially coming true, 17 years of waiting. This was it!

I honestly couldn’t see much, and I didn’t even see them walk on the stage. This was either going to be the greatest moment of my life, or the biggest disappointment I’ve ever experienced. When the song came to a pause, and she looked over her shoulder, and then uttered the words I’d waited so long to hear again, I lost my whole ass mind. “Ladies and Gentlemen, *NSYNC!” I basically blacked out at that moment, and I only remember bits and pieces. I know I still couldn’t see, but what glimpse I did catch, I really only saw JC at first and I was like “is it just him?” And for a tenth of a second, I was thoroughly confused, but still getting my life and losing my ever loving mind! My eyes darted around, and I finally caught a glimpse of everyone else. (I also still didn’t know if Justin was there or not, because I knew it was physically possible that he be there, albeit, highly unlikely. Honestly, I’ll always love Justin, even though I can’t stand him much of the time, and I did secretly hope he would have made it to this, but I was perfectly fine with the fact that he ultimately wasn’t there). I didn’t know what my camera was recording, and I didn’t care, because this moment was everything. When the song ended, I stopped recording, because that was it...or so I thought. I had never even imagined that there would be more and I was so content with them just singing “It Makes Me Ill.” I didn’t have any time to process because immediately after that ended, “Tearin Up My Heart” started and my blackout went even darker. I managed to get my phone recording again, I still couldn’t see a thing, but it didn’t matter. What I do remember was the people right in front of me, looking back at me, and staring. I still have no idea why, because it could have been my screaming, it’s possible it was my singing, it might have been me sobbing, I may have even bumped them while jumping around. I was not aware of anything I was physically doing. I do remember Ari in the middle hitting that choreography so hard, and when Joey yelled “Let me see you jump!” I think that’s when I snapped back in to reality and I started processing things again. I went even harder with the dancing, singing and jumping, because it was one of those moments when I found myself actively living in the moment, and I wanted to live it the best I could. I’ve probably never smiled that huge in my life. As the song wound down, I stayed recording just in case more was coming (not that I needed anything else, because my life was complete in that moment), so I have them thanking the crowd and Ariana and that was a perfect way to wrap up that video.

Once they cleared the stage, I had to catch my breath, gather myself, and keep

from crumbling to the floor. I remember leaning over with my hands on my knees, trying to get my vision and hearing back. Attempting to process anything that had just happened. I had had a brief exchange with the guy next to me before Ari hit the stage and I was like “I’m here for *NSYNC” and I showed him my shirt. While I was trying to compose myself, he put his hands on my shoulders and was just like “OH MY GOD!” I think that was the general consensus of the crowd, because it was that epic. I stayed for her whole set, and appreciated everything she brought to the stage, but nothing would top *NSYNC. It was one of those show stopping, jaw dropping moments that could never be duplicated.

Because cell service had been so bad during the show, I just put my phone on airplane mode, as to not drain the battery, and I honestly, didn’t give a crap about the outside world. Not a lot of people knew I was going, and I didn’t want to jinx anything, so I kept the details of the trip very quiet, with the exception of a few friends I had texted or messaged directly. So once all was sang and done, I turned airplane off, only to be blasted with texts from friends who knew I was there, checking to see if I was still alive. Because I hadn’t replied immediately, a few of them thought I was dead in the dirt in the desert 😂😂😂😂.

The crowd was clearing out, and I was trying to coordinate a meet up with a friend of mine who scored a wristband earlier that same day. She was the only person I knew there, and I’m so glad I had someone to squeeze after the greatest moment of my life! We went to good ol’ Denny’s to hang out and further bask in the glory of the evening! We had mutual friends, and were pals on social media, but never had the chance to hang out together, so it was great to catch up and squeal about what we witnessed!

Finally, around 2am, I headed out of Indio, and I was on my way home. Yes, this trip was a down and back adventure. I knew it would be brutal, but I knew that it would be worth it. I drove about 3 hours up, and stopped to nap in the car, for what was supposed to be a 30 minute cat nap, but turned into a couple hours 😂. I was on a time crunch because I was due to be back at work at 11am. I got back on the road at 5am and the journey continued. I had exhausted so much energy at the show, that the last five hours of the drive home were harsh! I had to stop several times to stretch and keep my blood flowing, and at one point I knew I wasn’t going to make it to work on time, so I let my manager know. She knew I had gone, and knew I was insane, and was shocked I was still driving home, so she was cool with me coming in an hour or so late 🙏🏻. I made it home to shower and change, then made it to work for another nine hours. Although I was exhausted, I had the comfort of knowing that I had just experienced one of my top two moments in life (the other being the Star Ceremony) and the smile never left my face.

The entire adventure officially lasted less than 48 hours. I’m still amazed that everything went down the way that it did. I’m a strong believer in “if it’s meant to be, it will be.” And this was just another example of that being true for me, and especially when it comes to *NSYNC. I have experienced so many cool things and have countless memories thanks to those guys, and this moment will go down as one of the greatest!

[documentmymeds]

10 mg Ritalin [15/05/19]

10mg Ritalin - lasts 2-3 hours 🔥 = bad & 2+ hrs, ☄️ = not great &/or up to 1 hr, 🌌 = ok, 🌱 = noice

Day 1 ☀️

Took pill @ 8:30am Reaction:

🔥 Can breath but it feels weird & compressed

🔥 Head feels weird, light, fuzzy - idk how to explain it

☄️ Anxiety: Only anxious about first two symptoms - lowkey panic

🌌 Hyperactivity: Need to do stuff, and fast + socializing. Racing thoughts & ideas. Want to do everything now (still avoiding what I need to do)

🌱 Executive Dysfunction: Anxiety about failure/ things not being good enough decreased - Executive Dysfunction technically minimized (links to next point)…

🌌 Hyperfocus: on Bully character stuff & ADHD - 🔥 Hyperfocus is too strong ie: “When watching YT, only that exists” & focusing on stuff that’s not the Commission I need to do

11am weird breathing & head feels gone - meds wearing off

☄️ Focusing is hard when I need to think / write & YT is playing

🌱 Going back to commission & adding to it more often

Took pill @ 12:50 Reaction:

☄️ Slight weird breathing but calmed down quickly (sub 30 mins)

🔥 Ears slightly feel like they’re going to pop, arms feel strained & tired, body tense

☄️ Head / vision feels like dissociation

🌌 Anxiety: Don’t feel anxious but my body is expressing some anxiety - sweating

🌌 Hyperactivity: Not as bad as before but still need to “do things fast”, wanting to do everything at once, jumping from task to task

🌱 Executive Dysfunction: Anxiety about failure/ things not being good enough not existent - Executive Dysfunction technically minimized, am doing something productive, but not Commission I need to do

🌌 Hyper / focus: on Bully character stuff, ADHD, organisation of thoughts & profile stuff

☄️ Time loss: Anxiety creeping up because it wasn’t 12:50 that long ago but now its 2:30 & I feel I’m wasting my meds “function time”

3pm time fly's - meds wearing off?

🌌 Heart racing - minor

Executive Dysfunction: Getting hard to focus on anything and do anything

Meds worn off

Executive Dysfunction: Normalized. Cant sit & do Commission for long but also isnt getting easily distracted.

HUNGRY!

Day 2 ☀️

Took pill @ 8:40am -Anxiety about taking the pill because still in the mindset that doing things on the pill will take so much mental energy

Reaction:

🌌 Weird breathing probably due to anxiety

🌌 Anxiety: Minor increase - constant feeling

Hyperactivity: N/A

🔥 Executive Dysfunction: Doing things but not what I need to do - constant task switching

🔥 Hyper / focus: None I don’t think. Cant even focus normally

11am not much happened - meds wearing off/?  

🔥 Executive Dysfunction: Can’t focus or function

Took pill @ 12:20pm Reaction:

Anxiety: Minor increase - constant feeling 

Executive Dysfunction: Can’t focus or function, cant switch tasks  

5pm - meds worn off

[jobsearchtips02]

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from Job Search Tips https://jobsearchtips.net/isaias-hits-carolinas-new-york-prepares/

[ayeletinthemountains]

Thunderbolt to Sill, plus Mount Agassiz

8/17/18 - 8/19/18

This was a big one. Leo and I first talked about Thunderbolt to Sill, a traverse of five of California’s 14ers, two years ago when we did a 2-week long road trip along the Eastern Sierra ~five months into us dating. I wasn’t a strong climber at the time. Leo wasn’t as much of a slogger and didn’t have as much alpine experience. We rightfully decided the traverse was probably above our pay grade, so decided to save it for another time. We still nabbed Sill via the Swiss Arete, an awesome climb and Leo’s first 14er. I remember being on the summit and staring at the rest of the peaks on the traverse, thinking how nuts it looked.

Now in 2018, in ~February/March, I went on a permit booking spree, dreaming up big goals for the summer, and this was the obvious choice. I booked a permit for a weekend in August and prayed we’d have good weather and that I’d be up to the challenge. As summer came, I got in several long backcountry climbs, from East Buttress on Whitney and Fishhook on Russell, to the Saber Ridge deep in SEKI. In the weeks prior to our Thunderbolt to Sill weekend, I did some long climbs in Canada with my friend Marco which had me feeling strong and in decent shape. The biggest open question (well, aside from all my nerves and self-doubt) was the weather. The Sierra weather had been full of storms all summer, severe enough to damage many trails and even close some roads because of mudslides. We’ve also had really bad smoke for much of the summer, with fires raging all over the state, bad enough to even close Sierra passes. But, as the week came, Leo and I were beyond thankful to see that the storms seemed to stop just days before our trip, giving us a perfect weather window, and the major fires near the Sierra started to be contained.

Thunderbolt to Sill is not something you want to do if there’s any chance of thunderstorms. Well, at least for a mortal like me. In my research, I saw people doing the traverse in as few as three hours. I also saw many trip reports with people bivying in the middle of the ridge, spending a night up there. I really didn’t have a great sense of how long the traverse might take us. It seemed not crazy to think we could do it in as few as 15 hours, but I didn’t want to get cocky and knew we had to be prepared for it to take much longer.

We drove from the bay area to the east entrance of Yosemite Thursday night, sleeping off the side of the road up high. I was happy to have a bit extra acclimatization and to not feel rushed getting to the east side. We worked remotely Friday, finished packing, and slept up near the Buttermilks. It was so warm out that we watch a movie out in the open in the bed of our truck before calling it a night. We set the alarm for 7am and drove up to South Lake to take the Bishop Pass trail. The parking lot was totally full, but we managed to squeeze in on the side of the road, which saved us what would have been an extra mile of road walking.

By the time we were ready to go, the parking lot was bustling with people. It’s always so surprising to be around so many people when you’re headed out to do a remote climb. For our gear for the trip, we tried to keep it pretty minimal. In terms of climbing gear, we brought:

Two Arcteryx climbing harnesses

Moccasym climbing shoes for Leo

Mythos for Ayelet

A 60m 7.5mm half rope

A set of offset nuts (which we didn’t expect to use, but wanted as insurance)

Two cordelettes

Four slings, each with a non-locking carabiner

Two megajul belay devices

Six locking carabiners

Two prusiks (critical because of the very skinny rope)

A spare quick link

A bail knife

Two climbing helmets

Heading off.

We set off on the Bishop Pass trail a bit after 8am. Progress went quickly. Even though I’ve been up this trail five times before already, I still am always in awe of how beautiful this area is. We stopped for a short snack break about halfway to the pass, and then continued up, finding ourselves at the top of the pass just before 11am. Given how early it was, Leo and I decided to tag Mount Agassiz on our way to camp. Mount Agassiz lies just 2k feet above Bishop Pass, right along the route to our basecamp. I had failed at climbing Mount Agassiz twice before. I made the mistake the first time with Leo, when we tried to climb it Memorial Day weekend in 2016 and only left the trailhead at 5am, making it to the snow on Agassiz’s slopes too late in the day. We bailed as were miserably post-holing up the side of the mountain, barely making progress, and storm clouds were coming in. The genius that I am was so enamored with the idea of climbing Agassiz in the snow that I made the exact same mistake, again trying to climb Agassiz over Memorial Day weekend in 2018, once again leaving the car at 5am. Way to go, me.

Views of Agassiz on the approach.

We dropped our packs at Agassiz’s base, putting some food and water into a flashpack I had with me, and started up one of the chutes on Agassiz’s northwest face. Progress goes much faster when you’re able to scramble up class two rock rather than post-holing through melting snow. The base was a bit sandy and loose, but as we got higher up the rock felt more secure. Agassiz is the 21st tallest peak in California, 13,893ft. We both could feel the altitude as we trudged up what we thought was very slowly, but it only took us 1.5 hours from the base to the summit.

Views of our objectives for the next day!

Near the summit, we met another party of two who were also planning to climb something near Mount Goode the next day and did Agassiz as a warm up. It was so nice out that I didn’t even put a layer on at the summit. We took in the views, ate our lunches, and headed back down, making it to our packs by ~2:30pm. I was pretty excited to have already nabbed a bonus peak (particularly one that had been on my grudge list) so early in the trip.

We repacked our packs and started the cross country slog to Thunderbolt Pass, our planned base camp. There isn’t much elevation gain between the base of Agassiz and Thunderbolt Pass, but we contoured along the side of Agassiz so as to not lose elevation. There was still plenty of ups and downs, and the terrain was pretty talus-y at times. Not exactly fun. The pass was only ~1.5mi from Agassiz, but it still took us close to two hours to make it there. About half a mile before the pass, we met a party of four who was camped. They had just climbed Thunderbolt that day and were relaxing in the sun, enjoying the many beers they had lugged up with them. We chatted with them for a little while as we filled water before continuing on our way. They had taken the first chute up Thunderbolt, which is the standard route from Thunderbolt Pass. We had been planning to take the second chute, because we had read some conditions reports that the recent rains had left some huge boulders in precarious spots. They didn’t mention anything about that, which I took note of.

The last bit of slog to Thunderbolt Pass. Ick.

The last half mile to the pass was through a pretty miserable boulder field. I was so happy when we finally made it to the pass and it was over. We had originally planned to camp ~400ft down on the far side of the pass, since that is the nearest water. But we saw there were at least a dozen campsites much higher up near the pass. We made the call to camp near the pass, rather than down near the water, so we wouldn’t have to lug all our gear down there and we could shorten our approach to Thunderbolt in the dark in the morning.

Home sweet home at 12,300ft.

We set up the tent and our sleeping gear, and then headed down to fetch water. We saw a tent near the stream we planned to fill at, and wondered whether we’d see its occupants. Sure enough, as we sat down to fill our containers, they showed up. It seemed to be a guide and a client. They had climbed Polemonium and Sill that day. We pried a bit for beta, getting the guide’s opinion on first chute up Thunderbolt, and one of our possible descent options. The guide said they’d been up the first chute two days before and seemed really casual about it, not mentioning any additional hazards. We thanked him for the beta and slogged back up to camp.

The view of southwest chute #1 from camp.

I hadn’t felt too miserable the first time we arrived at camp, but after this additional short trip, I was really feeling it. As we waited for our dinner to cook, I did a bunch of stretching to hopefully not be too sore for the following day. We ate, went up to the pass to watch the sunset, and then got into bed. I bundled up into all my layers, expecting it to be very cold since we were sleeping above 12k feet. But as the night went on, I periodically woke up too warm and would take one layer off at a time.

Leo chilling at the pass, taking in the sunset. Thunderbolt behind.

We had set the alarm for 4:15am. Around 3:30am, I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep, because I was so nervous about what was to come. This often happens to me before big climbs. For once, it came in handy though. Turns out Leo hadn’t saved the alarm when setting it the night before. I looked at my watch and saw it was 4:18am, and woke Leo. It was time to get going.

We dressed, made breakfast, and put our food in our packs. When I got back to camp after going to the bathroom, Leo told me had a problem: the tube of his water bladder had broken. With no real opportunity to fill water on the whole ridge, having plenty of water with us was non-negotiable. We pulled out some leukotape and taped the opening of the bladder, hoping it would be enough to get through the day.

We put on our headlamps and started towards Thunderbolt. The night before, we decided to switch to the first chute instead of the second, since it was closer to camp, and both parties we’d met had seemed to think it was okay. The chute is only a couple hundred feet from camp, which we definitely appreciated in the dark, so that we wouldn’t get lost. The chute is definitely loose, as advertised. We headed up until we reached the chockstone described in the SummitPost beta. I had misremembered the beta for this section, we lost maybe 15 minutes looking for the class 3 way around the chockstone. Turns out it’s actually ~30 feet below the chockstone on the right, and we had walked right past it. It felt great to be out of the chute on much more solid rock. After a couple hundred feet of gain, we found ourselves back in the loose chute, but it was much easier to stick to solid rock on the sides at this point.

Heading up the chute.

We reached the top of the chute around 7am, feeling the sun on our skin for the first time, always a joyous feeling during an alpine start. We headed up the class 4 climbing (which was cruiser and fun) to get to the base of the summit block. And there we were! At the climbing crux of the day, as I’d seen in so many photos and videos leading up to this trip. The summit block of Thunderbolt is only 15ft tall, but it’s 5.9. And by 5.9 I mean unprotectable fall-and-you-die 5.9. Enter Leo. :) I promise I don’t only bring him around to lead the scary stuff. I also bring him around because he carries the heavy gear.

Leo prepping for the summit block. Summit register bolted at the top!

We pulled out the rope and our climbing shoes. Leo tied one of our cordelettes around a large boulder, to at least keep us attached to the mountain in the event of a fall. Leo sadly took off his shoes and socks, feeling the cold as he put on his climbing shoes. As I belayed him, I remarked, “I wish I could also film this!” Leo said back to me, “You probably could, it’s not like your belay is doing anything.” The whole climb took Leo probably about one minute, and then he was on top! Looking back, I wish I had taken more photos. I just felt like we had to go, go, go all day (which was true), but this is really a unique spot, and we should have taken more time to enjoy it.

My belay finally became useful as I lowered Leo (you’re welcome). It was my turn to have my feet be freezing at 7:30am at 14,000ft. With Leo’s belay assist, I made it to the top more easily than I expected. The climbing isn’t easy, but there were more holds than I had anticipated. One peak down! The register is bolted to the top of the summit block, so I signed for both of us before Leo lowered me back down. We packed up our gear and got ready to go. This was the only time either of us wore our climbing shoes for the whole traverse. Oof.

Me on Thunderbolt. I was in such a rush I forgot to take a cool standing pic. :(

We left the summit of Thunderbolt around 7:40am. The next peak on the traverse is Starlight. We checked the beta we had with us, and started to descend to the notch between the two peaks. We downclimbed what we believe was the fourth class chimney system, until we made it to the slabs. On the slabs, we stopped and took a look at what lay before us, trying to identify the route before we were too up close to it. We crossed the notch and started climbing up, trying as much as possible to stay to the ridge. We came to some giant rock walls, uncertain of where to go. We explored both sides of the ridge, settling on the right side. We walked along some very flat, sidewalk-width rocks on the right side of the ridge, below huge walls to our left. I was convinced this wouldn’t go and we were lost, but Leo managed to find a squeeze-ramp type feature. It was pretty steep, but managed to go. The top of it became a chimney, which was definitely fifth class. After Leo soloed up, he saw a very solid rappel anchor, so he pulled out the rope and belayed me up using the anchor. I was glad to have the rope, and definitely weighted it once while trying to figure out the moves. This was one of two times on the entire traverse that Leo belayed me (aside from the two fifth class summit blocks). From there, we had some more high class scrambling until we reached the milk bottle, the summit block of Starlight.

Looking to Starlight from Thunderbolt.

Descending the slabs just before the notch between the two peaks.

With this summit block only being 5.4, Leo opted to lead it in his approach shoes. We again pulled out the rope, and Leo once again quickly made it to the top. While he climbed, our rope fell off the ledge it had been sitting on maybe 40 ft down a hole between the rocks. I tried to pull it up, but it was caught on something. As Leo chilled out on the summit block, I managed to scramble down and free it. For those two minutes, I was really nervous, uncertain how we’d get down safely without a rope. Thankfully, it was not an issue we had to deal with. I scrambled back up and then lowered Leo back down to the ledge. I also opted to climb this block in approach shoes, and had no trouble (thanks for the tight belay, Leo!). Back down on the ledge, two peaks down, three to go! We started on to the next peak around 9:45am.

Starlight summit success!

From the summit of Starlight, I crawled through a narrow opening along the ridge, while Leo scrambled up and over. We continued along the ridge, trying to find the simplest way down. We eventually came to the notch between Starlight and North Palisade. This notch has a big gap, which isn’t easy to climb or jump. There was a rap station above it, so we pulled out the rope. Leo rappelled first, and had to swing over the gap to the other side before going off rappel. I rappelled next, and had zero grace in trying to get across the gap. I wish a third person had been there to get a video of this, it must have looked so ridiculous. I’d push off the wall, trying to swing across the gap, while Leo pulled me in as hard as he possibly could. This failed the first two or three times, as I could not get my butt or feet or anything on the ledge on the other side of the gap. Finally, with our teamwork, I managed to get across. I also bring Leo around to pull me in after rappels, apparently.

Looking back down at the very awkward rappel from the other side.

We put the rope away and continued scrambling. I think we did not find the easiest way up North Pal, by any means. We scrambled mostly on the left side of the ridge, trying to find a way up. We didn’t have a great view of what was above us, so we couldn’t tell if going up was even the right way to go at times. We eventually found a chimney that exited onto an airy arete. Leo again soloed this, and opted to pull the rope out for me, the second and last time he’d belay me (aside from the two fifth class summit blocks). He slung a huge boulder with a cordelette, and tossed down one end of the rope. I was definitely glad to be on belay for this. It was not something I could have soloed. As Leo coiled the rope, I continued the route finding, down-climbing five feet to get to a squeeze ramp that then led to the summit! This was the only peak of the whole traverse that I summited before Leo, and it was just because I left him with the gear. Thanks Leo!

North Pal summit selfie. 3/5 down!

Sitting on top of North Pal, I was feeling really content. Even if we somehow next got lost and couldn’t finish the traverse, it still felt so cool to have done three new 14ers all in one day. So many people opt to do just one of these peaks in a day: but we didn’t plan on trying for just three, so it was on to the next. We left the summit of North Pal around 11:15am, and found a rap on the south side of the summit. It looked like we could potentially downclimb from here, but we figured we’d just do the rappel. This dropped us into a small bowl that had probably the best bivy sites we’d seen on the entire ridge traverse thus far.

After a bit more downclimbing, we contoured along the ridge, able to stay at the same elevation all the way around the bowl until we fell in-line with the ridge once again. We travered on the left side of the ridge, and then back to the right before finding some more rappel stations. We did four rappels and found ourselves in the U-notch. It was possible that we could have again downclimbed these, but I think we were both happy to get a little rest while rappelling rather than downclimbing. The right side, towards the west, of the U-notch looked like a sandy, miserable chute. I checked it out, knowing this is often used as a descent option to get back to where we had camped. We were still undecided about how we’d come down.

Me route-finding from North Pal to the U-notch.

From the U-notch, the description was pretty spot on. We went up some exposed fourth/low fifth class directly from the top of the notch, traversing right until we reached a ridge once again. Here again there was some more exposed fourth class/low fifth class, but it was short, and we quickly found ourselves on the summit. The fourth peak of the day! And the last new summit for us of the trip.

It was around 1pm as we topped out on Polemonium. We again took another rest as I perused the summit register. I was feeling really beat. The fact that we’d already climbed Sill before left me with very little motivation. Plus, if we climbed Sill, we’d have a much longer slog back to camp. I was entirely open to going back down Polemonium to the U-notch so we could get back to camp early. I even wrote in the register that I didn’t know if we’d continue, and you’d have to climb to Sill to see if we did. But, Leo was not having it. No way was he going to stop at this point, so on to Sill it was.

Looking back from Polemonium to North Pal, Starlight, and Thunderbolt.

Leaving Polemonium, there was some more fourth class to get off the summit and lower down. After five or ten minutes though, we found ourselves moving quickly over class two terrain. It felt nice to be away from exposure and able to move more quickly (despite the fact that the direction we were moving quickly was away from our camp). I was thrilled when we reached the point where we could drop our packs. I finally took off my harness, which I’d been wearing all day. For our last scramble up to the summit, Leo carried my flash pack with some water and snacks, so we could leave the rest of the gear. It felt amazing to scramble without a pack (thanks Leo!). And soon enough, we were on the summit of Sill, traverse completed!

Success!

The ultimate summit selfie. :)

We had read some conditions reports that Sill was currently missing a summit register, which we found to be true. We had brought a nalgene with us, along with a small notebook and two pens, to leave at the summit. We sat down to rest once again while we readied the register. I ate a packet of peanut M&Ms (when you do a traverse of five peaks, which summit do you eat your summit treat on!?) for some easy energy that I could keep down. I was definitely low energy, but I had no zero appetite. We took many celebratory selfies, and eventually I ran out of things I “needed” to do on the summit to delay the impending slog back to camp.

Our six summit register signatures in order from the trip!

We decided to take the long way back around, towards Potluck Pass, rather than re-summiting Polemonium and heading down the U-notch. And so, at 3pm we began our descent. It took just under 30 minutes to make it back to our packs. For this type of terrain, I’m not much faster heading downhill vs uphill, since I’m paranoid of rolling my very weak ankles. We headed south down the bowl between Sill and Polemonium until we reached the bottom, and then headed along the west edge of the bowl. Rather than taking the bottom of the drainage all the way around to Potluck Pass, we cut over the hillside. This saved us some distance, but I suspect it didn’t save us much time.

As we came around the ridge, we had the choice of dropping down to the west, where the drainage becomes flatter, or contouring along the slopes of the Palisades crest to keep our elevation all the way to camp. If we did the former, we’d have a long section of uphill at the end to make it back to camp, which sounded miserable to both of us. So, we opted to contour the entire way. It was a miserable talus slog that we suspect was worse in the end. If I had to do it again, I’d take the low route.

Camp was only a mile away in a straight line, but it took ages to traverse. As we neared camp, Leo so graciously offered to split off, to head down to the water source for us, while I’d continue on to camp. I had absolutely no energy to fetch water, and would have instead made the 2L we had waiting for us at camp work. But, Leo is great like that. We split off to do the last section solo. I knew I had to keep moving, because I’d be mortified if Leo somehow made it back to camp before me. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. I was able to have my gear unpacked and our dinners rehydrating before Leo made it back to camp (though he made it back maybe only 10 mins after me). All in all, from the top of Sill back to camp took us 4hr 45mins. We took essentially zero stops in that time.

We finally turned on our head lamps as we ate our dinner. We had made excellent use of the daylight, and our timing worked out perfectly. Having to do any of the slog back to camp in the dark would have been challenging and miserable. I was in bed at 8:40pm, thrilled about what we’d accomplished. I was so tired, but also so excited about having achieved this goal.

We slept from ~9pm to 6:30am, waking up with the late and not feeling too sore. We leisurely made breakfast and packed up, still being ready to go by 7:40am. It was really nice knowing the most miserable part of the hike out would be the first part, and then it would be behind us. It took us about 2 hrs to get from our camp back to the trail, with no breaks. This was about the same amount of time it had taken us to get to Thunderbolt Pass from the trail. Slow terrain is slow in both directions.

Once we were at the trail, it was a cruiser walk out, though we were both feeling ready to be done by the end. We were back at the car around 11:50am, quickly changed and headed to Bishop for some well-earned celebratory burgers. It’s always nice when you hike out early enough in the day to not feel rushed at all about getting home.

Looking down from Bishop Pass.

All in all, we couldn’t have had better conditions. We spent nearly the whole day of our climb above 14,000 ft, and never wore more than our base-layers after 8am. The air quality was totally fine, and the skies were nothing but clear. We saw no one our whole traverse day except for one person on Sill when we were just leaving Polemonium, very thankful to have no one to drop rocks on us. We were shocked that on such a perfect weekend, there was no one else doing this amazing climb.

Now here’s time for the mushy Leo part. This climb felt so daunting and scary to me, and I wouldn’t have felt comfortable trying it with pretty much anyone other than Leo. When I’m scared, he asks how he can help. He pretty much always knows when I’ll want a belay, always a step ahead of me with the rope. He never makes me feel bad if I’m not comfortable solo-ing the terrain he just cruised up. Not once has he ever complained that I descend talus at least twice as slowly as he does. And when I’m not sure if I have the skills, he reassures me that I can do it. Thank you Leo. Now I can think of the next big slog we can do together. :) End mushiness.