#then he just leaves. and his absence devastates. and there's nothing that can fill that void

[judebelle]

Gavi breaking up with the reader bc he needs space and stuff and she takes it really hard and it affects her a lot but he realizes he was wrong for it and gets her back. Just a lot of angst but fluff ending plssss. You are the bestttt

rekindled - p.g. x reader

authors note : thank you guys for the love on my recent posts, and for sending in requests. psa, the more requests i get, the more motivated i am and the more i post!

cw : just heart wrenching angst for the most part, but it gets fluffy dwww!!, swearing, sad :(

wc : 2.3k

pairing : pablo gavi x fem!reader

---

“i just don’t have the time for you anymore!”

his words truly devastated you, tearing apart the delicate threads of your heart. couldn’t he at least try? why was he just giving up?

“i don’t understand why we can’t just try to work it out, pablo! we could compromise, we can even make a schedule.. we could make it work!”

it seemed like only you were really trying, and he seemed eager to end this relationship. over what? a busy schedule? you felt useless, standing in his empty home, the echoes of your voices ringing in your ears. it was as if you were singlehandedly trying to stop a sinking ship from descending deep into the dark and bottomless blue.

“it’s not that easy, y/n! i have a lot on my plate! between football practices and matches, i barely have time for myself anymore. and then adding on this relationship, i need to make time for you as well! its too much. i know you wouldn't understand but-"

"i wouldn't understand? what is that supposed to mean? there are two people in this relationship. and it's not like i sit around all day and do nothing! i also have my own things to do! you make it seem like i am so high maintenance, like i'm too much for you to handle!"

you were growing increasingly angry as the argument progressed. how little did he think of you?

"you know that's not what i meant.."

you sniffled, "i dont think i know you at all anymore."

---

it had been a week since the break up.

you tried not to let it affect you too much, but his absence left a crater in your heart you were left too weak to fill.

the breakup casted a shadow over the once vibrant hues of your life. you found yourself dealing with the aftermath of shattered love. you were picking up the shattered pieces of your heart, the sharp glass cutting through the skin of your hands. you felt the pain during tearful nights when sleep also abandoned you, and in the empty spaces that once resonated with shared laughter.

the breakup left an indelible mark on you.

you didn't call anybody. you just sat at home. it was like pablo's words became your new reality, now you were truly sitting around all day and doing nothing.

you hadn't heard from him at all, thanking the universe knowing that if you did, it would be too much on your aching heart.

---

one month had passed.

you were finally feeling like yourself again. yes, you missed his warm embrace and touching words, but you learned to live without it.

you couldn't depend on someone to be the sole reason for your happiness. you still loved him, and you always will, but fuck did he cut deep.

---

pablo's pov

pablo found himself grappling with an unexpected wave of regret.

the relentless demands of his busy life had driven a wedge between the two of you, leaving him to confront the harsh reality of what he had lost.

pablo now spent the time he would've spent with you alone, in his home. he didn't hang out with friends. he didn't go out for dinner, just ordered food to his house. he felt lonely and bored without you.

how ironic.

the void left by your absence became easily recognizable to everyone around him, and he began to yearn for the warmth of your shared moments.

but pablo kept the painful truth of your breakup to himself, unable to utter the words aloud to anyone.

"hey bro, what's on your mind?"

he felt an arm drape across his shoulders, startling him from his thoughts.

pablo was at barcelona's training grounds, and didn't realize his slumped posture and absentminded features were noticeable to anyone but him.

pedro was walking next to him, his arm slung around the back of his neck.

"hola?? what's up with you?" pedro was insisting on finding out why his close friend was acting so strange.

"sorry, just tired.. didn't get much sleep last night." in all honesty, he hadn't. he spent most of his night lying awake, thinking of how badly he had messed up. his screen time was through the roof, scrolling through your feed and posts, reminiscing on what was once his, about the warm soul that would sleep next to him in this very bed.

"ai, don't lie now. you know i can see right through you. what's wrong, bro?" pedro wasn't giving up, pestering pablo on his silence.

pablo gulped and turned to his friend, "i.. i messed up bad bro, like really bad..".

he didn't elaborate further, unable to bring himself to come to terms with what he had done.

"uhh, that's cool and all, but it would be helpful if you explained, man. i can't help you if you dont tell m-"

"i broke up with y/n."

pablo shut his mouth after, the words leaving the bitter taste of regret in his mouth. he might've said that too loudly, causing some staff members and teammates to look his direction.

pedro didn't seem to believe it, raising his eyebrow at the boy.

"you what? wha... when?"

everyone who knew pablo knew that he was absolutely smitten with you. you were always on his mind, and he was quick to talk about you if he had the chance. it annoyed his friends sometimes, but it was cute how much he loved you.

the fact that he had broken up with you was appalling.

"around a month ago.." pablo confessed, his hands hidden behind his back like a guilty child. "i told her i was too busy to focus on our relationship, and i told her that i needed to focus on my career. it's honestly a load of bullshit. i think i was just stressed and took it out on her."

pedro's confusion was evident, his eyebrows drawn together.

"i don't understand, bro. your schedule was never an issue for you before. and why didn't you tell me? i could've, i don't know, been there for you!"

it was like pablo was being scolded, and he really did deserve it. he'd lost you because of his own stress and poor time management. you didn't deserve to suffer because of him.

"pablo, what were you thinking? i mean, i can't believe it! i would've never expected you to- okay, i'm sorry.." pedro stopped his lecturing upon seeing his friend growing increasingly upset. "my advice to you is to go apologize. and not just a quick 'sorry', but a good one. get her flowers, chocolate - i don't know, whatever chicks like. just go say sorry."

pablo looked up at his friend, hesitation on his features. "what if she doesn't take me back? w-what would i do then?" he stuttered. he was worried you would realize how big of an asshole he was, and how much he didn't deserve you.

"i mean, i wouldn't blame her," pedro smiled teasingly. "but i know y/n pretty well, she would understand." he laid a comforting hand on pablo's shoulder. "don't sweat it bro, it'll all be okay."

---

your pov

you were currently sprawled across your couch, stuffing popcorn in your mouth as you binged a show you had already seen a million times.

the bell rang.

that hadn't happened in a while. the unfamiliar sound rang in your head before you pulled yourself up from your comfortable position, walking to the door. you yanked the door open, popcorn still in your mouth.

you looked up to see the man you thought you'd never see again.

"..hola.." he whispered before sending you a soft smile. you froze in your spot. not knowing what to do as you weren't expecting this at all.

it was like you'd turned cold from shock. you acted before you thought, slamming the door on his face. you scrambled to fixed your hair and finish chewing your popcorn.

giving yourself a moment to breathe and think, you quickly opened the door again, worried he might leave. surprisingly, he was still standing there, waiting for you.

"can i come in?"

---

you let him in, of course. how could you not?

he walked in with a hunched back. his feet dragged against the floor wearily.

you told him to sit on the couch and wait as you grabbed two waters, one for him, and one for you.

the unexpected arrival of pablo, whom you thought had become a distant echo of the past, sent tremors through the newly rebuilt walls around your heart.

is there a possibility of rekindling what was once lost?

you finally dragged yourself out of the kitchen and back into the living room to where pablo was sitting with his legs shaking anxiously and his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. there were still popcorn crumbs on the couch, the halfway eaten bowl of it placed on the table across from the paused movie displayed on the tv.

oh, how you wish he warned you before showing up at your doorstep.

he turned his head to see you standing tensely in the doorframe. he smiled awkwardly as he scooted over to give you some space to sit far from him.

you sat down and placed the waters on the table in front of you. you took a deep breath before gulping hard. you eventually found the courage to croak out a few words.

"what happened, is everything alright?"

the air was thick, the unspoken history you shared lingering in the air. his eyes were red and cratered by bags. he tried to hide the lines on his face by putting on a decent outfit and gelling his hair back, but you saw right through his façade.

"i just.. wanted to apologize.."

your silence was his cue to continue speaking.

sitting in the soft glow of your living room, pablo took a deep breath before breaking the heavy silence.

"i need you to know how sorry i am for what i did, y/n. breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of my life, and i've spent every day regretting it. i miss you, not just the idea of you, but you - the way you laugh, the way you challenge me... i was foolish, and i can't keep living my life without you in it. i came here to make things right, to find a way for us to work through the challenges together. can we try again? can you forgive me?" His vulnerable pleas hung in the air while also knocking you down like heavy wind.

your gaze flickered with a mix of surprise as pablo's heartfelt words settled in the room. the weight of his apology hung between you, and for a moment, time seemed to stretch as you discerned the sincerity in his eyes.

you took a moment before responding, your voice a sorrowful blend of vulnerability and caution.

"pablo, you hurt me deeply when you walked away. i've spent nights replaying those moments, the day you left me, wondering if i meant as much to you as you say now...". The room held a fragile hope as your eyes locked.

in a desperate plea, pablo's words spilled forth with an intensity so raw it stung in the depths of your heart. his eyes reflected the sincerity of his emotions. "y/n, i can't imagine my life without you. every moment without you feels like a void i can't fill. i was foolish, and i let something so precious slip away." his voice wavered with a mix of regret and hope, showing the depth of his desire to rebuild what was lost.

"please, i'm begging you, give me another chance. i know i hurt you, and i'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. i've learned from my mistakes, and i'm not the same person who walked away. i love you, and i'm ready to fight for us. please, take me back."

you listened to pablo's heartfelt pleas carefully. after a thoughtful pause, you spoke with a calm and resolute tone,

"pablo, i appreciate your honesty and the effort you're putting into this. it's not easy to admit mistakes, and i can see the sincerity in your eyes. but i need some space to process everything. let's take things one step at a time."

pablo quietly absorbed your response. he nodded, a silent acknowledgment of the weight of his actions. "i understand, y/n," he said with a quiet sincerity,

"i know i hurt you, and i can't expect you to erase that pain overnight. i'm here, whenever you're ready." his words left a subtle sting on your heart. he raised up from the couch, before leaving with the same hunch of his back and drag of his steps that he entered with.

the sound of the door latching closed sent a stab through your heart. your eyes began to water as the painful image of him leaving stuck in your mind.

you were standing in the doorway, and felt a sudden surge of clarity and yearning. spontaneously, you threw the door open and rushed after him, the urgency to convey your changing feelings propelling you forward. "pablo!" you called out, running down the driveway, and as he turned in surprise, you closed the distance between you. without a word, you reached out, cupped his face in your hands, and pressed your lips to his. his hands wrapped around your waist as he dipped you forward slightly, embracing your warmth and forgiveness. your brows furrowed into the kiss as you felt the craters in your heart fill slowly.

the kiss was heavy, holding many unspoken emotions—forgiveness, longing, and the realization that sometimes, the heart finds its way back when the connection is too strong to resist.

in that moment, under the dim streetlights, things changed between you two, and it seemed as though the process of reconciliation was beginning to unfold.

[woojirang]

𓆩♡𓆪 Emotional Baggage - Prologue (P.SH)

Summary: Yeosang had been the love of your life. His sudden passing left you shattered, unable to fathom a future without him. After you reunited with the friend group after 7 months, Seonghwa's feelings for you reignite as he supports you through your loss. Pairing: Park Seonghwa x gn! Reader, (lost lover) Yeosang x gn! Reader Genre: angst, fluff ig, sfw, mini series

Warnings: lil fluff here and there but more of reminiscing on what used to be. WC: 2.4K a/n: This is the first story I've written in a while since middle school. If you were around for Locket Park Woojin, yes, that's me! While writing this, I wasn't a big fan of the initial organization, which is why I'm making it a mini-series so I can rework it a little. However, this prologue will remain the foundation of the story.

Series Playlist: [Playlist]

You were mad, furious at the world. Yeosang, with his luscious brown hair that you would endlessly run your fingers through, his mesmerizing brown eyes that you could lose yourself in for hours, his contagious smile that could light up your darkest days, his ethereal face that no museum could ever capture, who spoke with that endearing, romantic lisp—he abandoned you. It was impossible to tell whether he was suffering since he masked everything with that beautiful smile, but all you knew was that he was gone, long gone. Your angel, your reason for pushing forward, was gone.

You vividly remember the day his parents called to break the news. Your heart sank to your stomach. Though his mother’s voice was frail, barely above a whisper, you shook and sobbed uncontrollably. Your forever, your sanctuary, your escape... everything was shattered in an instant. Amidst your heart-wrenching sobs, you heard the woman who could have been your future mother-in-law faintly mutter an "I’m sorry," before she hung up the phone.

The body that once used to caress you and whisper sweet assurances that everything would be okay before you fell asleep in his arms was now lying alone, asleep forever. Nothing could tear at your heartstrings more than this moment. Your body quivered at the sight of his lifeless form, refusing to accept this devastating reality—the reality where you could no longer be with him. The vibrant soul who once filled your days with joy and laughter, your Yeosang, now belonged to the angels.

As you stood there, staring at his cold figure with his pale hands over his chest, and the light blue suit that he wore when he proposed to you on the beach at sunset, your heart shattered into a million pieces. The amount of tears that streamed from your eyes was endless, and you were utterly inconsolable. On that grim, foggy day, the world felt dull and empty, the weight of losing your lover pressing down on you like a heavy shroud. Every breath was a painful reminder of his absence, and that's when the harsh reality finally set in—your forever was truly gone.

The mournful cries of those gathered around you felt distant. You could hear the priest's solemn words, but it all just became background noise, overwhelmed by the sound of your own heartache. The scent of lilies, his favorite flowers, filled the air, clashing with my tearing heart and this utterly depressing foggy day. Each tear that fell felt like a piece of your soul was being ripped away, leaving you emptier with every passing second.

You reached out, your hand trembling, to touch his cold, still face, hoping for some impossible warmth, some sign that this was all just a nightmare. But there was nothing. His body stagnant. Your vibrant, loving Yeosang, who once breathed life into your days, was now a silent, eternal memory. As the final words were spoken and the coffin was lowered, the last remnants of your strength crumbled. You collapsed to your knees, overwhelmed by the unbearable sorrow, knowing that a part of you had been buried with him, leaving a void that could never be filled.

It’s been seven months since Yeosang left this world, and to cope with his absence, you found yourself texting his number endlessly, holding onto the hope that somehow, somewhere, he could hear you.

January 26, 4:58 PM

“How could you leave me here to suffer on my own.”

“I miss you every day.”

“I wish I could hold you again.”

“I hate being without you.”

February 21, 7:32 PM

“My Yeosang… I hope you’re doing well up there.”

“I wish I could be with you.”

“Are you watching over me?”

March 3, 1:42 AM

“Yeo.. I wish I could end it all and be with you.”

“A life without you is not a life worth living.”

April 2, 2:45 AM

“My love, can you hear me?”

“I saw your mom today, she’s doing better!”

“Better than me…”

“I miss you, love…”

“I love you.”

May 4, 6:57 PM

“Love! I got a promotion at work today.”

“I wish you could celebrate with me.”

“I bought a cake for the both of us!”

“I’m putting out a bowl for you, so when your soul comes down to watch over me, we can eat together!”

“I miss you so much.”

June 23, 1:24 AM

“You know how they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder?”

“I definitely understand that now…”

“I miss you, Yeo :(“

July 12, 5:12 PM

“It’s been seven months since you’ve been gone.”

“I haven’t forgotten about you, I don’t think I’ll ever forget about you.”

“Do you hear my desperate cries?”

“I love you more than life, Yeosang.”

“Please send me a sign if you’re listening.”

Every message was a plea, a desperate cry into the void, hoping, dreaming for a response that would never come. You poured your heart into endless texts, trying to bridge the chasm that death had created between you and Yeosang. You recounted your memories, celebrated your achievements, and shared your sorrows, hoping that somehow, in some way, he could feel your love.

In the early hours of the morning, when the world was silent, you felt closest to him. The quiet solitude of the night mirrored the emptiness you felt inside. You would lie in bed, phone clutched to your chest, whispering into the darkness, “I love you, Yeosang.” The longing was a constant ache, a relentless reminder of the love you once shared and the future you had lost.

As time passed, the messages became a ritual, a way to keep his memory alive and to feel connected to him. On days of celebration and on days of despair, you reached out to him, sharing your life as if he were still here.

The pain of his absence never lessened, but you found solace through your words. In your heart, You believed that somehow, somewhere, he was listening, watching over you, and that thought kept you going. Your love for him transcended the boundaries of life and death, and with every message, You sent a piece of your heart into the universe, hoping it would reach him.

July 14, You went out to the beach with your friends. Everyone carpooled in a minivan, singing our favorite songs at the top of our lungs and playing I-SPY with whatever caught our eye. It was all fun and games until you realized how much more fun things would’ve been if Yeosang were still here. His quiet yet chaotic presence had a way of charming everyone in our friend group. You smiled at the thought of Yeosang jamming out with all of us like we did in the past.

Hongjoong, our designated driver, had compiled playlists of everyone’s favorite songs. Yeosang would always beg for the aux cord, but Wooyoung banned him from playing music on our trips. “We’ve already heard ‘Faded’ a bajillion times!” Wooyoung would exclaim, annoyed at Yeosang’s relentless desire to listen to Faded at least once on every trip. You’ve gotta admire consistency at this point. Yeosang would then look at you and pout with eyes full of playful mischief, before leaning his head on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your hips. He would draw himself into sleep as you stared out the window, your heart full and content.

Now, as you sat in the same minivan, you could almost feel the weight of his head on your shoulder, the warmth of his embrace, and the soft rhythm of his breathing. The nostalgia was almost too much to bear. You could hear his voice in your mind, humming along to the music, his laughter mixing with the sea breeze. Every laugh from our friends, every familiar song, brought back a flood of memories that made your heart ache with longing.

All you can do now is smile, thinking about him and fantasizing about the what-ifs. What if he were here to share this beautiful day with us, to laugh and sing and make more memories? The beach, the songs, the laughter—they all felt incomplete without him.

Hongjoong noticed you spacing out, lost in the view outside the window, and he exchanged a knowing look with Seonghwa in the passenger seat. Without needing words, Hongjoong nodded and started playing “Faded” as a tribute to Yeosang, hoping to ease your thoughts. You caught his glance in the rearview mirror and gave him a subtle, grateful smile. Hongjoong returned a small, supportive smile, understanding the depth of your silent gratitude.

Wooyoung, who had once grown tired of hearing this song repeatedly, sang out with all his heart, his voice resonating with emotion. You quietly murmured the lyrics, your eyes fixed on the blue sky and the cars passing by. The song brought back memories of Yeosang, memories that were bittersweet and filled with longing.

The grieving process had been incredibly difficult for Wooyoung as well. Yeosang and Wooyoung had shared so much together, their bond forged through countless experiences and dreams. Yeosang had always known what he wanted in life, and while Wooyoung had his own dreams, he couldn’t imagine accomplishing them without Yeosang by his side. At the beginning of your relationship with Yeosang, Wooyoung had been jealous of the time Yeosang spent with you, feeling sidelined by the new love in Yeosang’s life. But over time, he had come to accept and even cherish the bond you all shared.

Now, you could only imagine the depth of Wooyoung’s pain. His leader, his best friend, the person who had been his constant companion, was gone. As the song played on, you glanced at Wooyoung, seeing the glimmer of tears in his eyes. He caught your gaze and gave a small, sad smile, his voice faltering for a moment before he continued singing. You reached out and gently squeezed his hand, offering silent comfort.

“Remember how he always insisted on this song?” Wooyoung said, his voice breaking slightly. “Every trip, without fail.”

You nodded, your eyes misting over. “Remember how you banned him from the aux?” 

Hongjoong glanced at both of you in the rearview mirror. “He’d be glad we’re still listening to it together,” he said softly.

Seonghw searched for any reaction from you through the rearview mirror. The thing with Seonghwa was that he had always loved you, even while you were with Yeosang. From the moment he had met you, he marveled at all your little charms: your smile when the cherry blossoms bloomed in the spring, the way you softened every time you saw a dog on the sidewalk, the way your eyes fluttered as you woke up from naps in class. He had it all planned out from the start—the way he would’ve confessed to you after walking home one day under a cherry blossom tree, the most romantic way he knew. But in the end, it was Yeosang who beat him to it.

He, Yeosang, Hongjoong, and Wooyoung were a unit before you joined them, and you were basically Yeosang’s plus one, though they all enjoyed your presence nonetheless. One night while everyone went out to drink, Yeosang suddenly admitted his feelings for you to the guys and told them he’d confess to you the next day. Seonghwa started to feel guilty for his own feelings and tried his best to give them up so his best friend could be with you instead. He had suppressed his feelings, knowing that if he expressed them, it could ruin what you both and the  friend group had. So now that you were with Yeosang, he began to dread every hangout with the gang if it meant you were coming along because it would remind him on an opportunity he missed out on.

Feeling reassured, you had no tears left to cry. You attempted to enjoy the day without constantly thinking about Yeosang as you were already rough on yourself for the sheer fact that he wasn’t there and he won’t be there for you anytime anymore. The sun was high in the sky, casting a golden glow over the beach as the waves gently lapped at the shore. The salty breeze rustled through the palm trees, and the sound of laughter filled the air.

Hongjoong set up the beach umbrella and spread out the blankets while Seonghwa rummaged through the cooler, pulling out sandwiches and drinks. Wooyoung was already halfway to the water calling out for us to join him.

“Come on, losers! The water’s perfect!” Wooyoung shouted, his voice carrying over the crashing waves.

You laughed, shaking your head. “Alright, alright, we’re coming!”

We kicked off our sandals and ran towards the water, the hot sand quickly giving way to the cool, refreshing surf. Wooyoung was splashing around, trying to dunk Seonghwa, who threw up his hands and splashed him in defense. Hongjoong waded in next to me, a grin spreading across his face as he watched us.

“Feels good to see everyone having fun,” Hongjoong said, his brown eyes and orange hair reflecting the bright sunlight.

“Yeah…” You agreed, feeling a pang of bittersweet nostalgia. “It’s been a while since we’ve all laughed like this.”

Wooyoung managed to catch Seonghwa off guard, dunking him under the water before raising his arms in victory. “Yes! I am the king of the sea!”

Seonghwa surfaced, sputtering and laughing. “Only because I let you win, Wooyoung.”

“Oh, sure you did,” Wooyoung retorted, splashing Seonghwa again.

We spent hours playing in the water, building sandcastles, and soaking up the sun. At one point, we took a break to eat, sitting in a circle on the blanket. Hongjoong passed around sandwiches and drinks, and we toasted to Yeosang, who we knew would have loved to be there with us.

“To Yeosang,” Hongjoong said, holding up his drink. “Our friend and our guiding star.”

“To Yeosang,” we all echoed, clinking our cups together.

A bit after we all ate together, You decided to pull out your phone, suddenly remembering that you could text Yeosang. You typed out a message, eager to share the moment with him.

“Yeosang! Everyone here is having a great time! We miss you!”

You sent the text with a smile, until the message delivered green. His number was no longer active, your heart sank into the abyss. The reality of his absence hits you like a tidal wave, washing away the momentary joy and leaving you drowning in sorrow. His number was gone, just like he was.

You curled into a ball of pity, staring into the horizon as a hollow emptiness enveloped you. The vibrant day around you blurred, colors dimming and sounds fading as the weight of loss pressed down on your chest. He was really gone now, in every conceivable way.

taglist: @vampzity @sanshairfollicles @rvereri @losrpark @dvrktvnnel @scarfac3

[bbgnyx]

Hi babe it's me leigh ✌ Saw your song requests like 10 secs ago so 👀👀

song name: in the stars by benson boone

song lyric: and now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far

pairing: minho x female reader

disc: the reader dies and minho is just devastated and he cries for the first time in front of everyone and stays ☹️ (I'm bad at descriptions save me-)

Anyway thx for reading!!!

a/n: omg babe this song has been running in my head recently so this request was like you read my mind 😭✋. This was so sad to write honestly, hope it matches what you had in mind!

my taglist is open btw, just message me if you wanna be part of it!!

And now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far~

genre: angst

warnings: very sad, church and god are mentioned, mentions of blood and death, indirect mention of cancer, mention of a funeral. lmk if I miss anything

Sunday mornings used to hold so much joy for Minho. It was the one day he could spend with you, and it filled his heart with happiness. The two of you would go on adorable picnics, visit malls, and sometimes even attend church together. He couldn't help but think how beautiful you looked with your hair up and that radiant smile on your face. Minho was a softie, but only when it came to you.

He remembers the times when he would get jealous of you because Soonie Doongie and Dori seemed to love you more than him. He cherishes the memories of cuddling up in bed with you, watching movies together. Every little thing about you, he adored. You were his angel. But now, Sunday mornings are no longer his favorite. Not after everything that has happened.

When he was with you, Sunday mornings held a different meaning. Now that you're gone, Minho knows that nothing will ever be the same again. If he doesn't have concerts or practice, he simply sleeps in, avoiding going out because it only brings back painful memories. He has even lost his faith in God, burying it alongside you, deep beneath the earth.

Minho has lost count of how many times he has stood there, screaming at God, questioning why the love of his life was taken away from him. Why did God seem to hate him so much, leaving him to suffer like this? He is constantly lost in his thoughts, not knowing what else to do but cry himself to sleep, knowing that you will never be there to comfort him again.

Minho still remembers the day you were admitted into the hospital, they said you were okay, they said you only had to go through a small surgery. All of it were lies. That day, Minho’s band had won an award, but he couldn’t even relish the happiness as he soon got a call from your mother.

“She’s in a critical stage, she has lost a lot of blood, the doctors don’t know if they can save her”, your mom said sobbing through the phone. At that moment, it took Minho his everything not to leave the award show immediately and fly back home to you. He had been crying all day and all night, worried about you. He should be there with you, he thought.

On Sunday, he took the award and flew back to you as soon as possible. Only to be informed that you’re gone, you’re not with him anymore. You had passed away.

Minho remembers the day of your funeral. The weight of your absence crushed him, burying his heart alongside you, six feet under the ground. “It’s okay Minho, she loves you with all her life,” your mother said, trying to console him. He felt weak and helpless then.

All these pent-up emotions let loose at his most recent concert. You had always told him to show his emotions to others, not to close his heart away. So he cried, he cried like he had lost everything and he did. He lost you, and you were his everything, you were the earth and he was the moon and now he didn’t have anything to revolve around. On that stage, he crumbled, his fellow members offering solace, while fans shed tears alongside him, showering him with words of comfort.

It felt as though he had loved you for an eternity, but he realized that the time he spent with you was merely a fraction of his lifetime, while you had loved him throughout your entire existence. This realization shattered him to his core. How was it fair? You had promised to always be by his side, to never leave him alone. And you kept that promise, remaining faithful even in death. But what about him? He wasn't there when you underwent surgery, he wasn’t there through your suffering and he wasn't even there when you took your final breath.

He felt stupid not to realise that you were suffering. He hated that you hid your condition from him. He always wondered why you asked him what he would do if you weren’t there. He always replied, “I’ll protect you so nothing ever happens to you, my love”. But now he couldn’t protect you and that broke him, and it would break him till he took his last breath and he would be lying if he said he didn’t wish that day came soon so he could see you again. But all he knows now is that he loved you, loves you and will continue loving you.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

what was jk’s initial reaction to the revelation? Like after oc went outside to cool off and he was left with Jared and Jina. Did he tell them off? I really wanted to see what he would tell Jared since he was apperantly giving him the stink eye for a while now

"Jina" I call after her as I watch her stalking towards Jared as he walks back into the house after chasing y/n. "What?" she spits out, whipping her head back around to face me. 

"Wanna try that again?" I ask, cocking a brow at her and she stiffens after realizing what she had done. "I'm sorry dad I just...well Jared he-" "What were you thinking Jina? Sneaking around with your best friend's boyfriend? Oh I'm sorry her fiancé" I say, throwing it back at her again to instill further guilt. "I raised you better than this and you know that" I growl out, trying to keep my anger at bay. 

"How could you do this? Y/n was your first and from what I can see only true friend you've had since we moved here. Why would you do something that cruel?" I ask, clearly not understanding how my own daughter could cause someone that we both care about such heartbreak.

"I don't know dad it just happened okay. There's nothing I can do about it now so can we just drop it already?" she says, her head on a swivel, no doubt looking for where Jared had disappeared to. "No we can't just drop it. I expect to see you and Jared in my study. Now!" I bark out and her whole body stiffens in fear before running off to find him. 

~~~~

I hear a faint knock at the door and grant them entry without even glancing up. 

"You wanted to see us?" Jared asks with that all to familiar arrogant tone. "Sit" I bark out and they both take a seat at the two chairs I have placed in front of my desk.  I stand up and glare down at Jared thinking about how easy it would be to snap his neck right now. 

He's been a thorn in my side ever since Jina brought him and y/n over to the house for the first time and I've been waiting for the day I could put him in place. Although I wish it was under different circumstances. 

His gaze always full of lust towards both of them when they weren't looking but oh how I saw it. I saw it every damn time and I kept my mouth shut mistakenly thinking that my daughter would stay as far away from him in terms of anything more than a platonic friendship and even that had me grinding my teeth at the thought. 

"You're lucky you're not six feet under for what you did to y/n and Jina" I growl at him, holding myself back from hurting him. "Are you serious? She came onto me" he claims but I know without even looking at Jina that it's a lie. 

"Oh yeah and so I guess you really don't have much of a brain if you couldn't tell her no or get her off of you. Or did you even try?" I add, cocking my head, cracking my neck in the process to gain some form of relief from the stiffness that come over me after I heard those devastating words leave y/n's mouth. 

"Right" I say, filling up the silence Jared had left, all of us knowing he would be lying if he said otherwise. I take a deep breath before turning my back to them to compose myself before saying another word. 

"I'm keeping the baby dad" she says, making the choice I was sure she would've made anyway, at least this way one less person has to suffer. Life might've been seen as being 'better' if she had taken the easy way out but we all know that we would've felt their absence everyday if she had. 

"Did he force himself on you?" I ask her, not daring to look him in the eye otherwise I might snap. "Are you seriously asking if I raped her?" Jared says, getting up out of his chair and after that I'm at my limit and loom over him and look him dead in the eye, this time asking him the question since he so eagerly jumped in before she could answer. 

"Yeah Jared I am. Did you rape my daughter" I growl out, praying to anyone who might hear me that the answer is no. "No I didn't fucking rape her" he grits his teeth and flares his nostrils, clearly trying and failing to intimidate me. 

"He got me drunk dad but I said yes" Jina admits to me and before Jared gets whatever insult that had been bubbling in his throat out my fist collides with his face, leaving him falling to the floor and coughing back the pain from the blow. 

"Fuck" he groans out as he staggers up to his feet. 

"If I catch you anywhere near this house. If I see you touching either one of them I will gut you from the inside out you hear me?" I bark out at him and he flinches back at the volume, now knowing that violence is not beneath me when it comes to my girls. 

"Yes sir" he says, hissing at the sting of his busted lip. "Get the hell out of my sight" I say and turn my back to him again and hear him stalk out of my office and out the front door. 

"Dad why-" "Why did I what? Punch the guy who got my daughter vulnerable enough to be able to convince her to have sex with him and is now pregnant with his baby? Are you really asking me why I did that?" I scoff and she tries to speak again but I cut her off before she can say anything else. 

"How long?" I question, waiting for the answer and dreading the number. "Wha-" "How long have you been sleeping with him Jina for fucks sake just answer the question" I shout and watch her cower back into her chair. 

"Why are you talking to me like this? You've never yelled at me before" she asks, making my heart break as I see glimpses of the broken little girl I know she hides inside of her but not letting up because I know she needs discipline and not sympathy right now. 

"How, long?" I say again, emphasizing each word. "Six months" she whispers out, cringing at revealing the shameful amount of time they had spent together. "How far along are you?" I question, this time a bit gentler. "Two months" she says even quieter than the last. 

"Do you have a doctor?" I question, wanting to make sure that she and the baby are being looked after properly. "Not yet" she says hanging her head, finally letting her shame consume her entire being. "Get one and tell me the name so I can cover the costs" I say, my back turned to her, trying to withhold that part of me that wants to hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay. But she fucked up, and she deserves to feel the guilt and the shame of her actions for a while now that it's out in the open.

"Dad I can-" "This isn't open for discussion Jina. Find a doctor and send me their information or I will find one for you myself. Now leave, I don't want you coming back here until I say so" I say, keeping my voice as level as I can. 

"But dad I-" "No Jina, go. We'll discuss this later" I say, leaving the room before I have a chance to lose my resolve and go to the nearest bedroom to calm down before seeing the rest of our lingering guests out. 

~~~~~

Hope this answered your question hehe

Thanks for the ask love 🥰

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 12

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Sinker, Comet, Boost, Warthog

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff

Word Count: 1.7k

Author's Note: Phew! That was a whole lot of work, but everything has been converted from reader to oc, and every chapter has been updated to third-person past tense writing 😮‍💨 Nothing in the plot has changed, but I did update some wording and filled in a few gaps I found while I was going through the story. Y'all, the next chapter is the funeral. Enjoy this last bit of, uh... not as sad moment(?), then brace yourselves! As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @beating-a-dead-plot

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Wolffe watched from his seat at the desk chair as Cara, Comet, Boost, and Warthog continued to unpack her things and arrange the room. He had Warthog stuff his armor in the wardrobe while she wasn't looking to try and keep the mood up. She was going to have enough to be sad about when they went to the funeral soon. Too soon. He didn't even know if he was ready for it, let alone Cara. He'd already had a conversation with the Wolfpack about it, and they'd be ready to step in when he needed them.

"Commander," Sinker called from the doorway. "Can I talk to you?"

Wolffe sighed and got up from the desk chair to join Sinker out in the hallway. He left the door open so Cara wouldn't fret about his absence, but he'd keep his voice hushed so she didn't overhear their conversation. If he was lucky, she wouldn't notice that he'd stepped out of the room. Sadly, with the look on Sinker's face, Wolffe knew that whatever happened in that briefing couldn't be good, at least not in terms of their remaining time left on Coruscant, and he braced for it.

"How was the briefing?" Wolffe asked.

"We're deploying," Sinker sighed. "I'm sorry, Wolffe."

Wolffe cursed under his breath.

"According to the intel," Sinker continued, "Captain Rex and General Kenobi were taken captive by Zygerrian slavers while trying to infiltrate their operation to free some imprisoned Togrutas."

"You're kidding," Wolffe said.

"Afraid not," Sinker said. "We're being sent to Kadavo as reinforcements for the liberation."

Wolffe pinched the bridge of his nose. "When are we leaving?"

"Two rotations," Sinker answered. "It would've been immediate, but General Skywalker and Commander Tano are already on the ground, so it bought us some time to regroup. As is, it's going to take twelve standard rotations just to get to the Kadavo system from Coruscant."

Wolffe breathed a small sigh of relief. It wasn't a lot of time, but it was enough for him to get his affairs in order. He looked over at Cara and watched as she played a game with Comet and Boost. She will be devastated when he has to put his armor back on and leave. With no mother, no father, and no Wolfpack, she was going to be completely alone. It'd take at least one standard month to get to the Kadavo system and back, and that didn't even take into consideration the length of the actual mission. Liberations could last for months.

"May I be excused?" Sinker asked after Wolffe didn't respond. "I promised the general that I'd help with the… preparations."

Wolffe paused. He knew what the implications of that word meant and while he was grateful that his second in command had his hands on his wife's funeral, it was still a stab to the heart.

"Yes, of course," Wolffe stammered. "Dismissed."

Sinker left and Wolffe walked back into the room, grabbed his comm, sat down at the desk, and typed a message to Fox. We need to talk. It's important.

It took a while, but Fox eventually answered back. I'll be at the funeral.

Wolffe quickly sent another message. No, not there. Tomorrow morning. The diner.

Fox replied back after a couple of minutes. Meet me there at 0600.

Wolffe put his comm back down and anxiously tapped his foot against the floor. It was a long shot, but he needed someone to look after Cara while he and the Wolfpack were gone. Even if Fox couldn't do it, he probably had a couple of trusted brothers in the Coruscant Guard who could. It was better than the alternative of some random Jedi caretaker brainwashing his child while he was off fighting the War. He wanted to be able to trust the Jedi, he did, but he always found a small seed of doubt when he tried.

"Cara," Wolffe called. She ran over to him. "I'm going out tomorrow morning."

"You're leaving?" Cara asked, her voice full of uncertainty.

"No, baby," Wolffe soothed. "I'm just gonna see Fox for a bit."

"Can I come?" she asked.

"No," Wolffe said.

"Please?" she pleaded.

"You don't even like Fox," Wolffe argued.

Cara pouted.

"Comet will be here to watch you," Wolffe said a little louder. He looked up at Comet and received a smile and a nod of acknowledgement. "You can explore the Temple together."

Cara continued to pout.

Wolffe decided to change his tactics. There was something in the Temple that could get her excited, even if only a little bit. "You know," he began. "I heard they have a tree somewhere."

Cara perked up. "A tree?"

"Mhm," Wolffe said. "A real one." It was something Wolffe and his wife planned on doing after the War; moving to a planet full of different flora and fauna for Cara to see. His wife kept images all around their apartment of different trees and plants from around the galaxy, since Cara had never been off-world yet.

Cara gasped with wide eyes. "Can I go see it?"

"Sure," Wolffe shrugged. "But only if you stay with Comet."

Cara thought about the proposal for a moment. "I'll stay with Comet."

"That's my good girl," Wolffe praised. "You can go play now."

Cara ran back to Comet and Boost, but then turned on her heels and ran back to Wolffe.

"Daddy," she said. "I have to go potty."

Wolffe blinked a few times in surprise. He was so used to Cara using the refresher by herself at home, that it didn't even dawn on him that she might need help here. He really wasn't made for parenting, but he was going to do his best to help her. The last thing he needed right now was for her to have an accident, and right before the funeral too. He glanced at the chronometer to make sure they still had time, then took her hand and guided her through the halls to find a refresher.

There should be a one somewhere on that floor, but he didn't remember seeing it on their way in. Then again, he did zone out for a bit near the end. After walking a little further, he saw a sign, but it was for a male species refresher. He looked around and saw another sign for a female species refresher, but he wasn't sure which one he should take her in. His wife would've just taken her into the female species refresher and took care of everything. Maker he wished she was here.

Since he was a male species, did he need to bring her into that one? If he did take her there, he risked her seeing things she shouldn't be seeing. However, if he took her into the female species refresher, was he going to get arrested? He noticed Cara starting to wiggle and he knew he needed to make a decision quickly. Ultimately, Wolffe took her into the female species refresher for her own comfort and protection. If he got arrested, Fox could always bail him out.

"Do you need help?" Wolffe awkwardly asked while rubbing the back of his neck.

"No!" Cara said adamantly and slammed the stall door behind her. "Mommy said I'm a big girl and big girls use the refresher alone."

Wolffe was shocked, but rolled with it. "Oh, okay. I'll, uh, I'll wait out here then."

Wolffe wasn't sure what to do with himself while he waited. He missed out on the potty training phase when Cara was two years old, and this was always his wife's territory, just like bath time. Which was something else that slipped his mind. He had no idea where the bath was, if the Temple even had a bath, or who was going to help her bathe in the morning. His wife was adamant that someone had to watch her in the bath. Maker strike him dead if she drowned when he wasn't around.

Within a few minutes, the stall door swung open and Cara came walking out. Wolffe opened his mouth to remind her about washing her hands, but before he got the chance, she was already at the sink washing her hands with soap. He didn't have to remind her; she did it all on her own. She even used the stool on her own. She didn't need his help at all. Wolffe felt a small twinge of pain in his heart. She was growing up so fast and he'd barely been around to see it. He'd missed so much, and he was going to miss even more.

"Ready to go back?" Wolffe asked after Cara finished drying her hands and hopped off of the stool.

Cara nodded and grabbed Wolffe's hand. He held it just a little tighter while they walked back to the room, because there might be a day when she no longer wanted to hold his hand, and when that day came, all he would have were the memories. It was expected of a clone to grow up fast, that was their purpose, but if he could ever find a way to stop aging, he'd give it to his daughter. It might be selfish, but he didn't want her to grow up. She was his baby girl and he wanted her to stay that way.

When rounded the corner of the hallway leading to the room, Wolffe could see Sinker standing outside of the door, dressed in his formal wear and holding what looked like Wolffe's officer uniform folded neatly in his hands. It must be that time, Wolffe guessed. He grabbed the uniform from Sinker and left Cara with him while he went into the room to change. When the door shut, Cara didn't say anything, but she did look a little confused. Sinker wasn't sure what to say to her, so instead of stumbling over his words, he said nothing.

Comet, Boost, and Warthog had already changed into their dress uniforms and went ahead, which left Sinker, Wolffe, and Cara to bring up the rear. It was fitting, in a way, for them to arrive at the funeral last. After a few moments, the door slid back open and Wolffe emerged in his officer's uniform. He fixed a couple of spots while Cara looked up at him with concern in her eyes, almost as if she knew what was going to happen, but still, no one had the heart to speak it out loud. Inevitably, it was time for them all to say goodbye.

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[stylesispunk]

TIME CASTS A SPELL ON YOU, BUT YOU WON'T FORGET ME | CHAPTER 2

Joel Miller x f!oc

Chapter 2: And did you say that she loved you?

Series masterlist | previous chapter | next | masterlist

summary: Fifteen years ago, amidst the filling of divorce papers and the broken promises of a happily ever after, the world collapsed. Amidst the ruins of cities and the remnants of dreams, Joel's search for his ex-wife began. No matter where he turned, the woman who had once loved him held him captive, a presence he couldn't escape.

Word count: 5.5k

Warnings: tlou spoilers, angst. no use of y/n

the story's main idea is based on the lyrics from "Silver Springs" by Fleetwood Mac

a/n: Chapter 2 is here. It's way longer than i thought it would be, so I hope you like this chapter please share your thoughts with me (🥺) Comments, and reblogs are always appreciated and they spark up the motivation to write. If you have any questions ask me. Happy reading.💌(If you want to want to be added to my taglist you can tell me)

September, 2003

Sometimes in life, there are some catastrophic events in life that leave you speechless.

Joel imagined that spending his first birthday without Emily as his wife would be the only one, but it was night, the world ended, and he was holding his lifeless daughter in his arms. The world had given him no warning, no chance to brace himself for the cataclysm that unfolded in their life. 

In the stillness of the night, he cradled her, she looked so tiny in the middle of this chaos. Grief welled up inside him like a bubble. He whispered her name, a tender and heartbreaking murmur with no answer. It was defeating. 

The loss of Emily was a bitter taste of what was to come, but the loss of Sarah devasted him. 

As he held his lifeless daughter in his arms, he clung to the memories, the fragments of a life that had been filled with love was long gone. He longed for a world where Emily was holding him, where his daughter was still a part of a reality, where their absence wasn’t just an envelope of pictures playing in his head. 

Emily

I had to find Emily

Through the tears that blurred his vision, Joel's thoughts came together into just one purpose. The world might have ended, but he couldn’t let his family’s memory fade completely. He had to find Emily, not just to mend what was broken, but to honor and protect her amidst the chaos. 

With Emily’s face etched in his mind, Joel dove into the unknown, driven by love, loss, and longing for the only person who could make this new world worth living again. 

Without thinking clearly, Joel stood on his heels and walked away from his daughter,

“Joel, wait!” Tommy called after his brother, quickly following after him “Where are you going”?

“To find Em” Joel answered, his voice emotionless.

“No, stop” Tommy advised, trying to keep up with his pace, but Joel kept walking with determination.

“Joel,” Tommy called again “You don’t know if Em-

“Don’t tell me she might be dead”, Joel shouted. He refused to even think about that possibility. He spotted a car. He walked towards it, and once he got to the car’s door, slammed his elbow without feeling any pain. Nothing could compare to what he was feeling inside. 

“Joel, don’t do this”. Tommy was practically shouting at Joel amidst all the chaos of people shouting and running desperately.

“You know her new address, “Joel said without paying attention to Tommy’s pleas. “Take me there or you stay here.” 

 Despite the lack of an answer from Tommy, Joel felt around for the key. 

“Okay! I will!” Tommy shouted, “Just give me the keys.” 

Joel’s body felt relieved for a second, some part of him knowing that Emily was the only chance he had left to keep him sane. Otherwise, the grief tightened in his throat was going to kill him. 

He forced Tommy to drive fast to her new house, the one where she would start writing pages of a new story without him on it. Maybe she was there waiting for him to save her. 

But when he didn’t find her there, neither did her car. His heart shattered, not because he thought she was dead, but because he thought he would never see her face again. 

Our house, the thought crossed his mind.

Maybe Emily had the same idea, he thought. Maybe she went there looking for them. 

And she didn’t even know Sarah had died. 

When he finally arrived back at his house, there were no signs of her there either, and his hopes of having her by his side again crumbled. His heart sunk into his stomach, all the memories of their home hit him like a thousand bricks. The undone dishes, Sarah’s bag by the door, the ring he had placed beside the door a week ago, the one he and Emily shared as a symbol of love. He placed it back on his finger where it truly belonged, then he set off his journey. He knew that the way ahead would be treacherous.

What Joel didn’t know that night, just a few minutes before, Emily was there too. 

15 years later

The night air grew cooler as darkness settled over their campsite. Ellie was fast asleep, her soft snores blending with the night’s hushed melody of crickets and rustling leaves.

And Emily was there.

Despite the earlier confrontation between her and Joel, she had stayed, and a heavy tension lingered in the air. Neither of them spoke, not wanting to break the silence, lifting the weight of the past and the uncertain present.  

Joel finally broke the silence, his voice low and measured. "You should have left," he said, not bothering to meet Emily's eyes.

Emily sighed, the exhaustion of her aching body and the tension of their encounter weighing over her shoulders "Why?” she replied, her voice softened from its earlier harshness. “Do I scare you?”

Joel's jaw clenched, and he finally turned to face her. The moonlight danced across his weathered face, casting long shadows that seemed to mimic his turbulent emotions. 

"Why are you here?" he demanded.

“I wasn’t following you; I swear. I thought you were dead.” She explained “I didn’t even know it was you until- “

“Until you almost shoot me,” he interrupted.

“You don’t understand”, She sighed, defeated.          

Joel's eyes bore into Emily's, demanding an explanation. The moonlight flickered in the depths of his gaze, revealing the anger he felt. 

"Then make me,” he implored.

“I-,” she hesitated before answering, choosing her words carefully, "There are…These men following me”, her shoulders slumping with the weight of the truth. “They want to kill me” she confessed. 

He could see a glimpse of fear in her eyes, and for the first time in the night, he noticed all about her. Despite the passing of time, her face still carried the signs of youth, yet it had matured with the weight of the years. He noticed the bruises on the left side of her face, dark and painful reminders of a story he didn’t know about. 

Joel's guard lowered as he was slightly worried at Emily’s confession "And who did that to you?" he asked, pointing at her face.

Emily looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "Them”

Despite the events of their story, the thought of someone hunting her down weighed heavily on him.

Something deep inside him felt responsible for this. If he had kept her with him in the past, she wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

"And why are they after you?" Joel asked, his voice no longer tinged with anger but rather genuine concern.

Emily hesitated once more before responding. "Because I killed their people."

The revelation hung heavily in the air, a stark reminder of the harsh realities of the world they lived in. Joel knew he had done horrible things to survive, but thinking about Emily doing the same felt like a knife cutting through his heart. 

Emily’s eyes filled with a haunted look. "They left me no choice,” She finally added. 

A tense silence settled between them once again. 

Joel's mind raced as he considered his options. He had Ellie to protect and deliver to the fireflies, but now, unexpectedly, the woman who haunted him was in front of her again. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her on her own.

“And how do I fit into this narrative?” He asked, cautiously.

“You don’t fit into this narrative, Joel” she clarified. “I just crossed paths with you tonight. I’ll go in the morning” 

Joel contemplated Emily's words for a moment. He knew that allowing her to stay was an emotional risk for him. Nevertheless, he refused to let her go. All what they shared in the past, the love that had once bound them, still lingered, and he couldn't simply abandon her for her own. He didn’t have the heart to do it. 

"No," he finally said, his voice stout. " You'll stay with us until we reach the Fireflies. It's not safe out there alone."

“You abandoned me in the past. Why would I trust you now?” she asked, her voice flat.

“Because you don’t have another choice,” he replied,

Emily looked surprised, with a mix of anger, sadness, and resignation dancing in her eyes. She had been through too much to easily trust again.

"Fine," she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'll stay... for now."

Silence stretched and hung over them again with unspoken words. 

“Where is Tommy?” she asked, breaking the silence once more.

“I’ve been asking myself the same for the last three weeks,” Joel replied bitterly.

“Typical, is Sarah with him? I wouldn’t blame her."

When Emily met with a defeating silence, her heart broke.   She knew what that silence meant, but she needed to hear the confirmation.

“Oh god,” her voice became brittle "Sarah...”

Joel could only nod, his throat tight with the weight of grief that still clung to him after all these years. Sarah's memory was a constant ache in his heart, and unlike Emily, she would never come back to him.

“When?” she asked, whispering

Joel took a deep breath, his voice strained as he answered, "That same night. There was nothing we could do." He paused a little. “It wasn’t even one of those things. It was a soldier. A man who should have helped us” 

Emily's eyes glistened with tears as she absorbed the heartbreaking truth.

“People are the real monsters, Joel” she whispered, her voice carrying an undertone. 

Joel's gaze remained fixed on the ground; his thoughts consumed by all the events that had happened in his life. He knew Emily was right; it was the people who had become the true monsters. 

Joel didn't reply. Instead, he turned back to watch over Ellie, who was still sleeping soundly. His thoughts were all over the place now. His past caught up with him in the form of the woman of his dreams and now, she was a part of the uncertain future ahead.

Joel woke up to the sound of Ellie’s laugh. His eyes fluttered open, and for a brief moment, he was disoriented, unsure of where he was. Then, the reality hit him. He had fallen asleep once again when he was supposed to keep the watch. The pass of time was noticeable, the lines of fatigue etching across his face, his body ached and he was tired of surviving. 

Pushing aside his exhaustion, Joel forced himself to sit up, rubbing his tired eyes. 

And Emily was still there, she wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. 

When Emily noticed that Joel was awake, she turned to him with a small smile. “You’re awake,” she said quietly, her voice softer than the previous night.

Joel just gazed at her, he felt strange at having her again and he wasn’t sure how to navigate this unexpected reunion with Emily. 

Ellie was unfazed by the presence of Emily. They already seemed thick at thieves. 

“I told Emily you had a stick upon your ass last night,” Ellie said. 

Joel's eyebrows shot up in surprise at Ellie's comment, and he glanced over at Emily, who seemed amused by the teenager. 

"I'm glad you two are getting along." He said, a little hint of amusement in his tone. 

“We had a good chat while you were sleeping”, Emily replied with a chuckle. 

Joel couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Ellie and Emily getting along so easily. It was like life was showing him the picture of the past in a new form. Giving him the chance to have a purpose again besides sleeping and surviving. 

As the three of them set out together, with Joel leading the way, Emily and Ellie chatted and laughed, sharing different stories, and Joel couldn’t help but feel amused by that. It was rare for him to find satisfaction in these little moments.

“Joel, are Bill and Frank nice?” Ellie asked.

“Frank is,” he answered. 

“Where are we going?” Emily asked, stepping forward to walk alongside Joel.

“To Bill and Frank,” Ellie answered for Joel.

“And who are these people?”

“Good guys,” he said, stout.

Joel and Emily continued to walk side by side, their footsteps echoing along the quiet road. 

“Who is Tess?” Emily asked.

Joel turned his head to look at Emily, 

Damn Ellie, he thought.

His expression grew somber at the mention of Tess. "Tess was my partner," he finally answered, his voice sounded sad. “We trusted each other with our lives. Tess... she was family to me."

Emily could see the anguish in Joel’s eyes as he spoke about Tess. She knew that losing was a wound that never healed. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help but feel a slight pang of jealousy inside her, thinking about Joel finding someone else in this world opened a wound she had never fully healed. 

“Did you love her?” she asked the question that lingered in her mind. 

Joel hesitated for a moment before responding, his voice carrying a deep sense of regret.

""Yeah, she did... and I... I couldn’t” 

Emily couldn't help but feel sympathy for Joel, even though she believed he wasn’t capable of loving someone. 

Ellie, walking behind, stepped forward to walk beside them, sensing the tension. 

“How did you get that scar on your head?” Ellie asked Joel.

Joel sighed, exasperated by Ellie's constant questions about him.

“What? Is it something lame?” She questioned, “Like you fell down the stairs or something?”

“I didn’t fall down the stairs” Joel answered.

“So, what then?” 

“Someone shot at me and missed.”

Emily’s heart sank at that new information.

“See, that’s cool,” Ellie said. “You shoot back?”

“Yeah,” Joel said, shortly.

“You got him?” 

“No, I missed too. It happens more often than you think.”

Ellie pondered over his words “Cause you suck at shooting or like, in general? 

Joel studied her expression, clearly offended. “In general.”

Then, Ellie looked at Emily. “How did you get those bruises on your face?”

“I fell” she lied to her.

“Lame” Ellie chuckled.

Emily mirrored her expression with a smile. 

They walked for a few more minutes until they came into view of a rusty old building which was once a gas station. 

“Wait here”. She instructed both girls, “I gotta grab some stuff, Tess and I, stashed” 

“Why here?” Ellie asked.

“You ask a lot of damn questions,” he said, clearly exasperated.

“Yes,” she smiled proudly.

Joel opened the door to the building. The interior was as one might expect: dusty shelves that once held snacks and supplies, long since emptied or expired, and a counter where a cashier had once stood. It looked dirtier since the last time he was here. 

“So why did you stash things here?” She continued, but as soon as her eyes looked into the old arcade game, Joel lost her attention. 

While Ellie was over the moon with the discovery, Joel was preoccupied with trying to remember where he had hidden the weapons and supplies that he and Tess had stashed there long ago. His gaze scanned the dimly lit interior, searching for familiar landmarks.

Ellie, not one to let a moment of fun slip away, turned her attention to Joel. "Ellie, Joel forgot where he placed his stuff," Emily said, trying to assist.

Joel was prideful and stubborn, and he didn't appreciate anyone pointing out his shortcomings. "I don't need your help," he retorted, a touch of defensiveness in his voice.

Emily couldn't help but remind him of their tumultuous history. "You know, considering the way you acted the last time we saw each other, you should behave nicer," she suggested a hint of sarcasm in her tone. 

Joel just scoffed.

Emily couldn't help but roll her eyes at Joel's scoff and stepped out of the building. She knew that dealing with Joel's stubbornness wasn't worth the frustration, especially when there were more important things happening.

Once back on the road, Emily didn’t say a word to Joel. Ellie tried to strike up a conversation, but her attempts were met with mostly monosyllabic responses from Joel. Emily, on the other hand, remained silent, lost in her own thoughts.

Joel occasionally glanced at Emily through the rearview mirror, his expression unreadable. He couldn't help but wonder what had brought her back into his life after all these years.

He spent half of the years since all this started looking for her, and now that he had her back, he didn’t know how to feel. 

Finally, Ellie broke the silence.

"Why did you get divorced?" she asked, her eyes fixed on Joel as if he was the one to blame.

Emily turned to Joel, an incredulous look in her eyes. "How did you know?" she asked.

“Joel told me,” She said.

Emily glanced at Joel with surprise and annoyance, but she decided to let it go for now. Ellie's curiosity was relentless, and Emily could tell that the teenager was fishing for more details.

She turned her attention back to Ellie and decided to answer the question, even though it wasn't something she enjoyed discussing. "Sometimes, things just don't work out," Emily replied, her voice tinged with a touch of sadness. "People change” she added, looking briefly at Joel. 

The action didn’t go unnoticed by Ellie, who was good at noticing subtle cues. The unspoken tension between the two adults was palpable, and Ellie sensed that there was more to the story than Emily was letting on.

“That means Joel changed?” she insisted. 

Joel remained silent; his gaze focused on the horizon. 

Emily hesitated, glancing at Joel again. She knew that there were some wounds that time couldn't heal, some scars that ran too deep, but she didn’t reply and that was enough for Ellie to understand. 

"Well," she said with a hint of cheerfulness, "I hope you two can find a way to fix things now. You know, since we're all together."

Joel remained silent, but his expression softened just a fraction. Emily just offered a small, almost imperceptible nod.

Finally, they made it to Bill and Frank's place, a small town gated by a sturdy fence. Emily couldn't help but be awestruck by the sight of the place. It was a little reminder of those small, tight-knit villages from the time before the world had descended into chaos.

The fence surrounding the town was reassuringly tall and well-constructed, a clear sign that these two men knew how to keep their community safe. Emily felt a glimmer of hope as they approached the gate.

“Stay here”, Joel commanded Emily and Ellie before tapping an entry code into the gate's keypad, allowing them to pass through first.

As they walked to Bill and Frank’s house, Emily noticed the change in Joel’s expression when looking at the flowers outside. They were dry. 

He went forward and opened the front door, being extremely cautious. Ellie and Emily followed him close.

"Bill? Frank?" Joel yelled, but there was no response.

Something isn't right.

"You both stay here," he told the girls. "What if they leave?" Ellie inquired before Joel moved.

Joel considered Ellie's question for a moment before responding, but Emily pipped him up.

“They would have told you, right?” she asked.

“Yes.” 

The sound of a door shutting caught their attention.

"Ellie?" Emily called out nervously, her voice echoing through the house.

Joel's jaw tightened as he exchanged a glance with Emily. He gestured for them to follow the sound. There was Ellie, sitting at the table holding a piece of paper that looked like a letter.

“It’s from Bill,” she said to Joel.

Joel sighed, putting away his weapon, all the façade he always showed was crumbling inside him, another grief was hanging over his head. 

“To whomever, but probably Joel,” she began. 

“So they’re dead?” he asked, interrupting her. He needed the confirmation. 

Joel felt a lump in his throat.

“You wanna-?” Ellie offered.

He shook his head. “Go ahead. You do it” 

“August 29, 2023,” Ellie started to read. “If you find this… please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn’t smell, but it would probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this, Joel because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps. Hehehehehehehehe-“

Ellie stopped for a moment, amused by the last part, before continuing. 

“Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway… I never liked you, but still, it’s like we’re friends… almost. And I respect you. So, I’m gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world, and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here" 

Joel glanced at Emily, who was paying attention to Ellie.

“We have a job to do. And God help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep…”

Ellie stopped there, not knowing how to continue reading. She looked up at Joel, who had an unreadable expression on his face. He couldn’t save Tess. 

“Stay here,” he instructed, walking towards the front door without hesitation.

Emily, on the other hand, didn’t know what to say or even do at the moment, so she looked at Ellie for answers.

"What do you think we should do, Ellie?" Emily asked softly, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

Ellie looked back at Emily, her eyes meeting Emily's with seriousness. "We do what they wanted Joel to do," Ellie replied, her voice steady. "We keep going.” 

“Emily, can I ask you a question?” Ellie asked.

Emily nodded. 

“What happened between you and Joel?” she asked. “I see the way you look at him, full of resentment, and I also see the way he looks at you. He is conflicted.”

Emily hesitated for a moment, contemplating Ellie’s words. 

"I don’t know what happened", Emily began cautiously. "One day everything was fine, and the next he told me he wanted a divorce.”

“And do you hate him?” Ellie inquired. 

Emily met Ellie's inquisitive gaze with a mixture of emotions. It wasn't an easy question to answer, and Emily wasn't entirely sure of herself.

"I don't hate him," Emily replied honestly. "But I don't think I ever really got over what happened. It hurts, Ellie, and sometimes hurt can turn into resentment.” 

“So why did you stay with us?” 

 Emily sighed, her thoughts and feelings swirling in the complicated mix of emotions inside her brain.

"Because he asked?” she said, not completely sure about her answers.

Ellie seemed to understand the mix of emotions inside Emily’s head.

“Please, promise me one thing,” Ellie said. “Promise me you will stay.”

“I know if I don’t make you promise me this, you will run and I don’t want that. I want you to stay.”

 "Because I believe you can bring out the best in him, and in me," Ellie said genuinely. "Joel might not admit it, but I think he needs you."

"I promise I'll stay," Emily affirmed with sincerity.

Ellie's returning smile radiated hope, a small glimmer in a world often shrouded in darkness.

"And also, promise me you won't lie to me anymore," Ellie said. 

Emily was momentarily speechless, her surprise evident on her face.

"I know you didn't fall," Ellie continued, her voice filled with conviction. "And whoever did this to you, they won't touch you again."

"I promise I won't lie to you," Emily said with sincerity.

She appreciated Ellie's trust and the bond that was slowly forming between them.

The two of them hugged, and the beginning of a friendship between them started to bloom.

For the first time in days, Emily felt a sense of fleeting tranquility. The sound of the running water drowned out the constant hum of worry that had plagued her thoughts. She reached for a bar of soap and began to scrub away the dirt, sweat, and blood from her body. 

When Emily turned off the shower, she reached out to wipe away the steam off the mirror, revealing a reflection she had avoided for days. This had been the first time that she had seen her face. Her hair was greasy and dirty. The bags under her eyes were dark circles reflecting the sleepless nights she had been through during the last week, the dirt all over her face, and the bruises on her cheeks, a reminder that she was being hunted. 

She reached for the scissors she had found tucked away in one of the cabinets. And like in the old days, when cutting your hair symbolized a new beginning and embraced change. Emily needed to do the same. Carefully, she began to snip away at her tangled locks. Strands of hair fell to the floor, and with each cut, she felt a sense of liberation, each cut was a way to regain a sense of control over her own self. 

Once she finished, Emily stared at her reflection again, and the tears welled in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Strangely, the bruises on her cheek seemed less pronounced.

Freshly out of the bathroom, clean, and with new clothes, Emily went down the stairs to reunite with Joel and Ellie. As she approached the living room, she could hear the low hum of conversation between Joel and Ellie. Once she entered the room, Emily was met with curious glances from both of them.

A mischievous grin played on Ellie’s lips. "Doesn’t she look pretty, Joel? she teased.

Joel was momentarily stunned, struggling to form coherent thoughts at the sight of Emily's transformed appearance.

Joel finally found his voice and managed to say, "You look...different." 

Ellie couldn't resist pushing her teasing nature further. "Now that we're all clean and looking pretty, especially you two, could you get married again?"

“I’ll pass on that for now," Emily replied.

Joel stepped forward and whispered, “Is there any reason for this?”

“They are following a lonely woman with long hair” she answered, her tone matter-of-fact.

For Joel, that reasoning made sense, so he nodded in understanding. He couldn't help but notice the ring hanging from her neck—it was their wedding band. However, he chose not to say anything. Deep down, he knew Emily was using him to free herself from the danger she was facing. He knew she didn’t love him anymore, did she?

“We are good to go”, Joel announced.

Ellie and Emily gathered their belongings, and the three of them went out of the house. They placed their things inside the truck. 

“You should take the front,” Ellie suggested to Emily. “You two have a lot to catch up.” 

Ellie jumped to the back seat, leaving Emily with no option but to sit beside Joel in the front. As she looked at Ellie through the mirror, a broad grin spread across the teen's face.  

Joel reached over Emily and pulled the belt over her body. “Seatbelt,” Joel said.

Emily’s breath caught in her throat as Joel reached for the seatbelt. It was a habit he had when he used to drive her to her work. This was the closest they had been in fifteen years, and their eyes locked for a few seconds, but Emily quickly dropped her gaze to her fidgeting fingers. 

Joel started up the truck as Emily looked for something to distract herself from his presence.

“What- put it back,” Joel said “Emily.”

She held something up to show Joel. 

“This is music,” she said, popping on the cassette tape and hitting play.

“Is love so fragile and the heart so hollow?

Shatter with words, impossible to follow”

Emily’s breath caught in her throat for the second time in the last minutes, and when she was about to skip the song, Joel hit her hand. 

“No, leave it” he smirked. 

What a turn of events, he thought. 

“This is good,” Joel said as he drove “Stevie Nicks. Do you know Stevie Nicks, Ellie? 

“You know I don’t” Ellie answered, rolling her eyes.

“I search only for something I can't see

I have my own life.

And I am stronger than you know.”

Emily smiled at Ellie through the mirror, before the hurt of the past washed over her once again. The song was the one playing in the background the night she and Joel met.

December, 31st, 1999 

It had been hours since the party started. People around were expectantly waiting for the countdown for the new year, and the couples were already making their way to the dancing floor. There was something magical about finding someone in a moment like this, where the hopes of starting a new chapter were there. 

But not everyone had someone to rely on.

Joel stood there, slightly uncomfortable about being brought there by Tommy against his will. Meanwhile, his younger brother was having the time of his life flirting with a blonde on the dancing floor. He was nursing a drink in the bar, losing himself in the music. Social gatherings like this weren’t his scene.

On the other side of the room, there was Emily moving gracefully through the crowd. She was clearly enjoying her time with her friends, but something about her being the single friend made her slightly melancholic. Especially when the melody in the background was drawing the couples together, swaying to the melody of Leather and Lace by Stevie Nicks. Emily couldn’t help but yearn for a connection like that of her own. 

“But I carry this feeling

When you walked into my house

That you won't be walking out the door

Still I carry this feeling

When you walked into my house

That you won't be walking out the door”

Emily couldn't shake off the feeling of longing that settled inside her, so she decided to take a break from the dance floor and headed towards the bar. Her friends were lost in their own worlds while dancing with their own partners, leaving her to wander alone around the party. 

As Emily headed towards the bar, lost in her thoughts, she wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings until it was too late. She bumped into a man, and her heart skipped a beat as she stumbled slightly. Before she could fall, the man in front of her wrapped his strong arms around her, steadying her.

It was Joel, a handsome stranger who took her breath away. He was surprised but not displeased. Emily met his gaze, her eyes filled with embarrassment while they stood there gazing at each other. 

“Lovers forever, face to face

My city, your mountains

Stay with me, stay

I need you to love me, I need you today”

“I’m Joel,” he introduced himself, raising his hand for her to take it. His lips curled into a smirk.

 "Emily," she replied with a soft smile, reaching out to take his hand.

At that moment, the world around them faded away. Their unexpected encounter was the beginning of something neither of them had expected to find that night. 

Now

Once Joel pressed the remote, the gate opened for them to drive out of the momentary tranquility of this place. Emily cast a glance at Joel, and it felt like a scene from an old film she had watched before. Joel behind the wheel, driving her everywhere because they used to be attached to their hips, but now they were two strangers with a past in common. 

Emily knew Joel was using her to fill the void Tess had left, 

Joel knew Emily was using him to escape her fate, 

They were using each other, weren’t they?

As they drove into the new day ahead, the soft melody of music played in the background, and the sun’s warm rays welcomed them back onto the road. The route ahead was uncertain, but they had no choice but to learn how to depend on each other again.

“The first time I saw you

I knew with you to light my nights

Somehow, I would get by

Lovers forever, face to face

My city, your mountains

Stay with me, stay

I need you to love me, I need you today”

tags: @joeldjarin @catchallfangirl

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Panaceum deleted scene

A yo, I promised to post the part I cut out during the editing because it was bad for the narration flow. Essentially, at first instead of having the whole conversation with Angel via text, Valentino invited him to the studio, just to exercise his control and waste Angel's time. It would be in character. But storytelling wise it was an unnecessary complication that didn't do any favor to pacing.

So, yeah, I would say "enjoy" but it's just Valentino being a terrible person so I just say: tw // abuse

Valentino sneaks out of Vox’s apartment and heads to his office. Though the office might be a misleading label. This is the place of pleasure and power, not paperwork. Plush, velvet-upholstered sofas beckon invitingly, their curves accentuated by the soft glow of dimmed, amber lighting. A mirrored wall stretches from floor to ceiling, reflecting the room's decadent ambiance and adding an illusion of endless space. Against one wall stands a well-stocked bar, gleaming with crystal decanters and polished glassware. The rich aroma of aged whiskey and exotic liqueurs fills the air, mingling with the faint scent of incense and musky cologne. In the center of the room, a small pole dance platform awaits – an invitation for potential new stars, and a promise to Valentino’s guests.

As he waits for Angel Dust, Valentino puts on some music – one of his own albums – and methodically removes all the VoxTek cameras from the ceiling, one by one.

Their absence is the first thing Angel notices upon his arrival. Stepping through the door, he quickly surveys the room, likely gauging the level of danger he’s in, and immediately questions:

“No show today?” His tone carries a hint of challenge, but Valentino detects the undercurrent of curiosity in his voice. Understandably so – everyone in Vees' inner circle knows that Valentino is always under the watchful eyes of VoxTek cameras and has never expressed dissatisfaction with it. He’s a performer after all, always more than willing to put on a show for his biggest fan.

Valentino arches an eyebrow, his gaze piercing and judgmental as he ignites his cigarette. "Nothing worth watching. Jesus, look how fat you got. Giving up coke doesn't serve you well, Angel Cakes," he comments with a cruel smile, the smoke swirling around him.

"What do you want, Val?" Angel responds, his tone steady despite the tension radiating from his body. He holds Valentino's gaze, unwilling to yield an inch. Yet, beneath his facade of confidence he visibly struggles against an invisible force, as if he's constantly battling against the weight of Valentino's influence. He tries to convince himself that he feels nothing, but it's just pointless. Valentino has woven himself into every fiber of Angel's being, leaving an indelible mark of his control.

“Sit down.” Commands Valentino instead of answering and Angel immediately sinks into the big, comfortable chair, almost pushed into it with the contract's bonding force. Valentino gestures toward the large, golden bowl brimming with cocaine. "Treat yourself."

Angel must be fucking crazy if he thinks that he can play tough with his owner.

"I'll pass," he retorts almost mechanically, though his lack of conviction is palpable. Despite Angel's efforts to project self-control, Valentino notices the way he clenches his fist, nails biting into his palm. The scent of his discomfort and craving hangs heavy in the air and Valentino savors it, inhaling deeply. That’s the best part of playing with addicts - no matter how good they are at the game, they possess one glaring weakness that can be exploited to devastating effect. It's this knowledge that crowns the man who deals in addictions as the true king of the city.

"You know I don't like to be denied," purrs Val, the smoke from his cigarette swirling around Angel's face like a sinister caress. "Maybe I should just..." With a swift motion, he reaches out and grasps a fistful of Angel's hair. Hard. "Put your ugly face into it?"

Angel doesn't even flinch. His breath trembles slightly, but there's a calmness about him that unsettles Valentino. Could he be on sedatives? It’s not possible his Angel has become so numb and boring.

"Wouldn't be a very constructive talk then, would it?" Angel suggests, prompting a cheerful yet deeply infuriated laugh from Valentino. Laughing it off is the only way he can prevent himself from succumbing to the urge to lash out and check how many hits to the table Angel’s head needs before it cracks open. It's maddening when his toys fail to perform as expected.

"Look at you, you grew some balls," Valentino remarks, releasing Angel's hair and ruffling it affectionately. "But you are right. I need you to arrange a meeting with the Radio Demon."

Angel frowns, adjusting his suit with a hint of theatrical irritation.

“Can't you like, do it yourself?” he asks and he fucking dares to be annoyed with Valentino’s demand.

“Oh what do you think I should do? Call his hell phone? Message him on sinstagram? Visit in person?” Velntino snarks, rolling his eyes. “You stupid bitch.”

Angel simply nods, acknowledging Valentino's response, and takes a moment to consider his own options. "Yeah, I can ask him," he concedes, probably realizing he has little to lose by doing Val this favor and perhaps even less to gain by refusing. "But you know how he is. Can't really force him to do anything."

"No need to force, though I'd like to see you trying," Valentino huffs, exhaling another cloud of red smoke that envelops Angel's body like a possessive embrace. "Just tell him I want to make a deal," he adds, noting the surprise in Angel's widened eyes as they once again dart towards the broken cameras.

"Me. No one else," Valentino clarifies before Angel can voice his unspoken question. It's amusing how his pet always skirts around mentioning Vox's name, as if uttering it could summon him, despite the fact that Vox's invisible presence has long been intertwined with their relationship. Or perhaps because of it.

"But if I do it, you can't tell him I had anything to do with it," Angel asserts, a hint of fear finally creeping into his voice.

“Fuck, I really was too soft on you if you are seriously more afraid of Vox than me,” Valentino scoffs, shaking his head. But honestly, understands. He has never been able to bring himself to finish Angel's miserable existence - both, out of sentiment and cruelty. Vox however, jealous of Valentino's attention just waits for the right moment when Val gets bored with his doll and he will be finally permitted to dismember it and burn what remains. He explicitly told Angel once, because that much Valentino allowed him. Vox is always so entreating when he lets his sadism to shine through the perfect mask.

"You know that if he learns that I helped you betray him—" Angel begins, anxiously nibbling on his sleeve, but before he can finish, Valentino smacks the table with such force that it cracks under his palm.

"I'm not a sellout bitch like you," Valentino growls, baring his teeth, like he was ready to rip Angel’s neck.

"Okay. Okay. I..." Angel takes a deep breath, desperately searching for the right words to defuse the escalating tension. He realizes a few seconds too late how badly he fucked up. It's enough to instill genuine fear of what he might have triggered. “Misinterpreted the situation.”

"Like hell," Valentino hisses, fixing him with a murderous glare. "Now fuck off before I make this meeting about you."

Angel doesn't need to be told twice. He scrambles off the armchair, finally released from Valentino's earlier command, and hastens out of the room. As the door closes behind him, Valentino sinks back onto the couch, lighting another cigarette in an attempt to quell his emotions. He knows he just needs to see this through to the end, and then Vox will be the one left worrying about plans and consequences. Oh, Vox. Vox would undoubtedly be ecstatic if Valentino got rid of Angel. Perhaps it would be the definitive proof to the Media Overlord that Valentino's heart belongs solely to him, finally securing Vox's confidence in their relationship. Though he definitely would be disappointed that he didn’t have a chance to turn the last hours of Angel’s life into some fucked up snuff movie. But one can’t have everything.

Valentino finishes his cigarette and decides to get to work. He must keep himself busy waiting for Alastor’s answer, and cameras must roll if he doesn’t want to listen to Vox whining when he will finally check the books again.

[anxious-witch]

Inertia 1

Summary: Newton's first law expresses the principle of inertia: the natural behavior of a body is to move in a straight line at constant speed. In the absence of outside influences, a body's motion preserves the status quo.

Jan choose a direction of his life the moment he walked out of his parents house and cut all contact with them. He didn't want anything to do with them, or God anymore. Even his soulmark he wished he could leave behind. But when Nace Jordan joins the band, with a mark matching his own, can Jan keep going the same way he did? Or will the force make him change a direction?

Pairings: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

Warnings: pretty heavy religious trauma, homophobia both internalized and just in general and for child abuse

Notes:

Ao3 Link

Okay so, several things. I will try my best to post every Saturday if my uni obligations allow me, and yes today is technically a Friday, but I was just too impatient.

This fic is listed as explicit on ao3 because there will likely be smut in later chapters and I'd rather be safe than sorry, but you can check more detailed tags on ao3 link if you are not sure about something or feel free to message me.

Big thank you to my friends @domo-no-domo-yes and @wordpuddle on tumblr for beta-reading and helping me edit this

Anyway, enjoy :)

"I etch my own face upon my wicked flesh. / I am my own devastating god."

- Rachel McKibbens, from "Shiv," Women of Resistance: Poems for a New Feminism

The first memories Jan had of his own mother were of her telling him stories every night. How, when God saw how many people came into being and how they went through their lives lost and afraid, He decided to bestow upon them a Gift – a sign of His love and mercy - that would guide them to a person who would be just right for them.

A soulmate.

Jan remembered how his mother’s soft hands gently stroked his dark, unruly hair – doing her best to tame it – as she spoke of how a Gift of his own would be granted to him in a few years, that there were some ways in which he could seek the blessing of guidance towards the right path - towards his soulmate.

That was the reason why they went to church regularly. To seek the guidance under His heavenly light. To earn His Gift.

It would take Jan quite a few years to realize that was the precise moment when the metaphorical noose was placed around his neck.

When he was around five, his mother observed a faint mark behind his ear as she was cutting his hair. She made a brief remark about it, but said nothing more. Afterwards, Jan found himself tracing its borders with his finger while trying to catch a glimpse of it in the bathroom mirror.

The mark took the form of a vaguely pear-shaped outline, devoid of color and detail. His hand continued to hover over it, occasionally touching it, as he left the bathroom and crouched behind a wall, eavesdropping on his parents speaking in not-so-hushed voices in the living room.

"You know very well what this means," his father whisper shouted, "she has to be quite a few years older than he is, if the mark is already appearing this early!"

"Let’s not jump to conclusions. If she’s two, three years older…it's not the end of the world. What matters is that she is from good, Christian family."

Jan quietly tiptoed towards his room; his heart as heavy as lead. As he lay on his bed, unable to find sleep, he decided to do what his mother always suggested he do whenever he was upset. He prayed. Prayed for a soulmate his parents would love, someone they would approve of. A soulmate that would be the closest thing to Heaven in their eyes.

It had not yet dawned upon him that his soulmate should be perfect for himself, first and foremost, not his parents.

By the time Jan started primary school at the age of seven, his mark shifted two more times. First, detail and color filled the vague pear-shaped outline, transforming it into a brown acoustic guitar, and then some years later, it shifted yet again, this time into a red bass guitar. 

The whispered conversations between his parents became more frequent, and his father's expressions grew darker and angrier with each passing day. The only thing that seemed to soothe them was Jan accompanying them to church every Sunday. And so, Jan continued to do so.

Now, the church wasn’t all bad. In the silence of the stone structure, as the walls vibrated with the echoes of the choir’s song, Jan managed to bring himself to find peace. Not to mention, God was always good in his parents’ stories. Like a good Shepherd, he always took care of His flock who believed in him, including the lost lambs. So, Jan always closed his eyes and prayed as hard as he could. 

God at least, would not forsake him.

It wasn't until Jan reached high school and cautiously asked his parents if he could learn to play the guitar, that things started to change.

Inevitably, it took quite a bit of convincing. Guitar lessons meant that Jan would have less time to dedicate towards church and schoolwork, but since Jan was always a good student who worked hard to keep his grades up, they couldn't say no.

Jan was not ready to tell them that one of the reasons why he wanted those guitar lessons was so that he could spend less time under their watchful eyes, as well as attending church services. He could already feel his father's cold rage breathing down his neck at the mere thought of mentioning it. Not to mention, he was developing a taste of his own, music-wise – something which he carefully kept under wraps, as he knew the kind of music he discovered and loved would certainly be considered ungodly.

The last two years of middle school had been rough on Jan. Matej moved out just a bit before his twenty-seventh birthday, and his sister got married and moved away ages ago. This meant that Jan lived alone with his parents, with no one to divert their attention from him, which made him long for some time to have for himself.

Being so much younger than both his siblings felt awful. It was as if he was perpetually late to everything and stumbled through things his siblings seemingly did with ease. Worse yet, ever since he started puberty, his parents began asking him about girls he liked. Jan usually brushed off their queries by stating he was more interested in math than girls. 

Yet, if he had to be honest with himself, math class often bored him. He often felt as if his brain was constantly racing ahead of most of his classmates’, the problems he copied from the board completely solved long before anyone else finished. Truth be told, instead of counting how many times he mumbled “Hail Mary” for mouthing off at the teacher, his eyes strayed towards the boy sitting in the second row. He once counted seventy-eight eyelashes on the boy's upper eyelid before the teacher called his name.

His heart didn't slow until well after he left school. After that, he never looked at the boy again. 

So, picking up the guitar served two purposes. For one, he might get closer to his soulmate and meet her while learning to play the guitar – he did hear of the oft-mentioned stereotype of girls liking musicians after all – and of course, he would also have a convenient excuse to skip Sunday mass on occasion. 

Every time anything related to homosexuality was mentioned, Jan’s breath often hitched. He felt as if he was being watched, be it by his family or his peers, or by God’s eye. As if, if he ever so much as breathed the wrong way, or moved his hand a certain way, it would be obvious to everyone. 

And Jan never, ever wanted that to happen. Not in his lifetime.

Music was, as he soon learned, similar to math in some aspects. It was all about attention to detail and carefully reading the notes. Well, it was not quite the same as math however. Math made his thoughts speed up as he focused, while he sifted through all the possible answers. With music, however, it was as if his brain and his entire being focused on a singular point – one where he could simply concentrate on the notes and the strings under his fingers alone. Everything else simply faded away when music took over his soul. 

It felt like a prayer. Like for the first time in years, he witnessed what a miracle was, and found God among the strings. 

But what really changed his mind took the form of a tall, lanky boy who took lessons from the same guitar teacher. Jan often saw him either walking out of the building as he came to his lessons, or waiting in the hallway for his turn, as Jan was finished for the day.

It wasn't until their music teacher call them up for the same session and introduced them to each other that Jan truly noticed him. 

"Jan, this is Kris Guštin. Kris, this is Jan Peteh. I wanted to suggest-"

"Wait, Kris Guštin? As in, Gušti's kid?!" Jan might have been raised in a Christian household, but he did not live under a rock, and he already developed a taste of his own as of late.

Kris sighed and Ema pursed her lips. She didn't like being interrupted. Jan grimaced.

"Sorry."

"Yes. He’s my dad. Can we please get back on track?"

Jan took a good look at the tall boy for the first time. His hair was cut awfully short - Jan's own hair reached slightly below his ears, just enough to cover up his soulmark - and he looked like he got dressed in the first clothes they found in his size, which consisted of a mock-collegiate jumper and rather short shorts.

Kris shot him a glare and Jan realized he was staring. He quickly turned his eyes back towards Ema.

"As I was saying, both of you have been my students for quite some time. I think you both are very talented and your styles are very complementary. I suggest you two get to know each other better and perhaps consider forming a band."

Jan felt his mouth fall open as his jaw went slack, but no words came out. Him? In a band? His head spun. Yet somewhere, deep inside his chest, his heart warmed and swelled with joy. A desire he never dared to voice suddenly sang. 

"With him?" Kris asked, his blue eyes widening.

Ema raised a neatly-plucked eyebrow.

"Kris. I realize Jan might not have made the best impression with his earlier interruption, but he is, along with you, one of my best students. I would not have suggested this if I wasn't certain it could work."

Kris considered him carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly at his necklace with a cross on it. Jan felt a twinge of self-consciousness, as well as a sudden urge to hide it under his shirt. Wearing it was more if a habit at this point anyway. Like a lucky amulet of some sort, protecting him from anything bad that could happen.

"How about the two of you think about it? We can have a joint session for today so you can see how you fit musically. Then, you can figure out the rest on your own."

To this, they both agreed, albeit Kris was slightly less enthusiastic, at least outwardly. Jan really wanted it to work out, but he reined his expectations. He never expected music to be more than a hobby, after all.

“How about I give you a key and then I’ll mess around a bit to find something that sounds good. You can join in if you think you have a melody that will go with mine, so we’ll see if it works. Sounds good?”

Jan nodded. Kris focused on his guitar and then slowly slide his fingers over the strings. Jan listened carefully, trying to get a feel of Kris’ guitar-playing style. 

The younger boy seemed to favor clearer, more measured and consistent tones. Jan on the other hand, perhaps partly due to the kind of music he listened to, had an inclination towards more frenetic, improvisational and chaotic playing, with more distortion. Perhaps…

The next time Kris began his melody, Jan joined in. He followed it with his own, fast-paced and improvised one. Not to overpower Kris’ own playing but simply to complement it. When they reached the end, Jan and Kris exchanged a look. Kris' suspicion melted away, and he gave Jan a shy smile. 

“That was…really good actually. We should do it again…this time, with a proper song.”

In that moment, something just clicked. It was as if Jan finally found the key to solving an equation he had been struggling with. And just as it was in math, once he found the solution to one equation, it was like finding a key to solve all equations similar to it.

“Deal.”

They did end up forming a band, even if Buržuazija didn't last very long – less than two years, in fact. More importantly for Jan, however, he gained a friend. Not that he was devoid of friends before Kris came into the picture, but the younger boy was different. He wasn’t handpicked by his parents and neither was he anything like Jan pictured a son of Gušti to be - although he did indeed take after his father looks-wise.

He could come across as mean at times, but as Jan soon learned, it was more the result of a combination of affectionate teasing and awkwardness, as well as a need for order.

His parents didn't approve, of course. Neither of Kris nor Jan spending even more time playing the guitar. But this time, Jan found himself no longer caring. He began sneaking out often, as well as lying regularly as well - making up extra classes and math tutoring sessions in order to spend more time with Kris and the rest of their band. 

It was on one such night, during a festival they were set to perform in, that Jan met Bojan. His band Apokalipsa was to take the stage right before them.

However, it wasn't Bojan's voice that made him notice him. Rather, it was the way Kris stared in his direction. Like Kris was someone that saw colors for the first time when he looked at him, his turquoise eyes staring into warm pools of deep brown.

It was the look of someone completely smitten.

Jan gently nudged him and Kris startled, looking at him wide-eyed.

"You know him?"

"Um. Yeah, we went to primary school together. It's-he just has a really nice voice, y'know?"

Even under the flashing lights, he could see the faint blush that colored Kris' cheeks. Finding someone who looked at other boys the same way he did felt...odd. It was not how he he expected to feel. Jan knew was supposed to be happy to find someone like himself, but instead he just felt disconnected. Like he couldn't quite process it.

He turned to face the stage. Bojan did have a nice voice and despite being on the slightly shorter side, when he began to sing, that impression faded away. He was larger than life and had a certain charismatic quality that demanded all eyes to be on him. Jan could definitely understand why Kris liked him.

"Don't worry though. He is not like-my soulmate or anything. Not that I have one. Just. Y'know."

Jan snorted.

"Obviously, he isn’t your soulmate. He ain’t a girl, is he?"

Silence. Jan turned to look at Kris, who stared at him with his mouth set in a straight line. He fidgeted in a way that he only ever did when he was nervous. The lights shifted in color from blue to red, painting everything in an almost menacing manner. 

"Oh. I didn't know you. Um."

Jan was confused. 

"That I what?"

"That you were homophobic," Kris said, his voice barely audible.

Jan's heart stopped for a few moments. Homophobic? The lights in the venue flashed in different colors at an increased rate now. Yellow, then blue again, then red. He began shaking his head as he felt Kris’ words cut into him like a blade.

"Homophobic? No! Why would you think that? I am not homophobic, I'm-"

He stopped himself, swallowing the word before it could pass over his lips. The forbidden word. The one he would never utter with regards to himself.

Kris stared at him, but this time he looked neither fearful nor suspicious, at least. More...curious, if anything.

"But you don't think soulmates can be of the same gender?"

It was obvious, now that Kris stated it. So why did Jan feel like he was being dragged from a very dark place into the sunlight? Like he was seeing things through a completely new perspective for the first time? As if on cue, bright green lights illuminated the stage, while Jan came to a conclusion.

He felt his heart beat in his chest like a drum, as if heralding an important revelation - something life changing. Something that he couldn't go back from.

"You-that can happen?"

Thump-thump-thump. Kris' face softened.

"Of course, it can. You don't...you didn't know that?"

Jan shook his head, unable to find the right words. Kris reached out and grasped his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"Oh Jan..."

He was saved from whatever Kris was about to say, by the end of Apokalipsa's performance and the announcer calling them to take the stage. Jan stood up quickly and moved as if he was on autopilot. He could not bring himself to look at Kris.

Somewhere between setting up their instruments and the beginning their first song, rage slowly started to build up in him. His parents, the people whom he trusted all his life, lied to him. His father must have suspected for years. Did they not like Kris because they knew his parents weren't against the notion of homosexuality and same-sex soulmates? That Kris wasn't?

Fueled by rage and spite, Jan moved his fingers over the chords. Anger was all he felt, but said wrath radiated power. He played like he wanted his parents to hear him from their bedroom at home.

He wanted them to know how he felt. How he was breaking their rules, and that there was absolutely nothing they could do about it.

Ending the song felt like coming out of a daze. They were met with thunderous applause, and Jan felt overwhelmed, like every sensation hit him all at once. He only just managed to keep his chill until they got off the stage and he put his guitar down. He then broke out into a run, and took off.

Kris was calling his name, but he didn't turn around. He could not bring himself to do so.

He slowed down once he neared the school playground, gasping for breath. Then, he made his way towards the old swing set and sat on one of the swing seats. It was too small for his already tall frame, and he had to bend his knees quite a bit to be able to fit. 

The cool breeze lightly caressed Jan’s face as he tried to untangle the chaos that was his thoughts and feelings. For seventeen years, he believed that a soulmate was a Gift people got, and made the best out of it. That meeting the one destined for him was akin to finding the puzzle piece that would complete him. That she would make him right again. That all of these dark feelings, all these little rebellions he engaged in would become unnecessary. Irrelevant.

Jan realized with a jolt that he did not quite believe that for a long time. Deep down, he knew a soulmate couldn't fix him, or life, or even his deteriorating relationship with his parents. It was just so difficult to bring himself look at cold, hard reality. 

Lies…they were familiar, polished and smooth from many years of handling them. The truth on the other hand, was all sharp edges that made him bleed, just like the guitar’s strings did when he first began playing.

Tears slid down his cheeks, and he covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a sob, but finally, he looked directly at it. Stared at the darkness in the face and embraced it for the first time, rather than shrink back into the light. 

He had to admit it to himself that his parents loved the idea of him, a lot more than they would ever love him as a person. They only loved him when he molded himself into someone they could approve of, and someone he wasn't – and probably never was. When he was obedient, didn't ask questions and behaved himself. Like a lamb who simply followed, and molded himself to fit into their idea of what a good son was. 

And Jan was so tired of pretending. Of pretending he still believed in everything they said. In everything priests said. In the end, it was all about controlling him. 

He reached for his crucifix necklace, firstly gently stroking his fingers over the cold metal and then grabbing it with his fist. Then he pulled. The delicate chain snapped and Jan was left with a cross and a broken necklace.

He put it in the pocket, with what little faith he had left. He then wiped his tears away and got up from the swing.

Walking back seemed to take much longer than it did running away. Or perhaps Jan's racing thoughts finally calmed now that he had accepted the truth.

Nonetheless, the festival still wasn't over by the time he got back. He found Kris easily enough - he was tall enough to be spotted at a glance - in a conversation with Bojan. Kris immediately noticed him and after what seemed to be a quick apology to Bojan, made his way over to him.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, his eyes scanning his face.

Jan gave him a weak smile.

"I will be, I think."

Kris nodded, but still looked worried. Then he bit his lip.

"Well, actually I was just talking to Bojan and um."

Jan raised an eyebrow. 

"And?"

"He was really impressed with our performance and he...asked if the two of us would like to form a new band, with him and two of his friends? Since their guitarist are quitting after the summer."

Jan shrugged. There was no harm in hearing him out, was there? He didn't have to accept. And he did owe Kris some extra time with his crush after the whole ordeal.

"Sure, let's hear him out. I mean, not like we are making any life changing decision here."

He had never been more wrong.

Since then, Jan began distancing himself from his parents even more. He questioned everything they told him, and then stopped listening altogether. He no longer accompanied them to church every Sunday, and stopped caring about what they had to say about the music he listened to, or how he spent his time.

He slowly but surely grew his hair out, hiding his mark completely. He’d scrub it off his skin if he could.

After he turned eighteen and choose a university in Ljubljana, far enough that he would need to live in a campus dormitory or rent an apartment. Unsurprisingly, his parents protested. 

Jan told them that he was moving out regardless of whether he was accepted or not. That he would find a job and move out if necessary. 

"Why?" His mother asked, searching his face, desperately trying to find a boy she raised to obey her.

She wouldn't find him. The boy was long gone.

He reached into his pocket, where he still kept the crucifix necklace on a broken chain. He set it on the table and pulled his hand back. His heart felt like it was lodged in his throat, trying to prevent him from uttering the truth. He swallowed, then forced his words out through clenched teeth. 

"I don't believe in God anymore."

There was more he wanted to say. To explain why and how. But as soon as he uttered the first sentence his father backhanded him so hard Jan felt his lip split. He tasted iron on his tongue.

His mother gasped, but did not say a word in his defense. As always. Jan felt numb as he reached for his lip and found it bleeding. His father had never hit him before this. Yelling was commonplace, sometimes grounding and things taken away, but never this. 

It was the last straw. The final note at the end of the twisted hymn that spelled out his life’s path for the past eighteen years, one that was necessary to be play before it was finally over.

"How dare you speak to me like this, in my house?!"

Jan looked at his father straight in the eyes, without so much as a flinch. They shared the same eyes, and he briefly wondered how they ended up seeing the world with them so differently.

"Which is why I am leaving. But I'd believe in God before I'd ever believe either of you again. Only straight soulmates exist, huh? You are both such fucking liars."

Jan snarled those damning words with as much venom as he could muster. The second time his father swung at him; Jan caught his hand. They stared at one another for one long, tense moment. His father was pale, his eyes wide. In that moment, he looked older than his sixty years. Frailer. For the first time, he noticed fear in his eyes. His father was scared of him. Scared of not being able to control him, of what he was capable of doing next. 

"This is what it’s all about, isn’t it?? You-you are going through some kind of phase and you think you are gay now? That your soulmate will be a man?!"

"No."

They didn't deserve to know and yet. Jan wanted to hurt them. Wanted to twist the dagger, plunge it deeper, and let them bleed for all the suffering and doubt they put him through. He wanted them to never recover, just like he knew he wouldn't. 

"I don't care if my soulmate if a woman or a man or whatever. I don't want them. I don't want any Gifts from your fucking God, or anything from you."

His mother let out a sob. Jan let go of his father's hand and took a step back. He felt nothing and everything at the same time. It was as if he was encased in cold, cold ice. Everything that happened below the surface didn't quite reach him yet. 

The child in him wanted to draw her into the hug and tell her everything will be alright, just like she did to him, so many years ago. The person he was now wanted to spit in her face and tell her she was equally complicit and made him feel just as hopeless as she felt now for years. 

"Look at what you are doing to your mother. After everything we gave you-"

"I’ve already packed. I can go now."

Silence was dark and heavy. He felt his mother's stare. He did not look back. The two sides of him were still at war, and he didn’t want either one to win.

"Where will you go?" She asked through the sobs.

"To a friend. College is only few weeks away. They said I can stay until then."

His father slammed the table with his fist. 

"To the Guštins?! I told you that boy was cursed! He is soulless, that's why he doesn't have a soulmate!"

Jan bristled at the slight against his best friend and stared at his father in grim silence for a few moments, before grabbing the discarded crucifix from the table and throwing it at him. It hit the older man squarely in the forehead, making a small cut that started bleeding immediately. Jan felt tears stinging his eyes and threatening to fall. Tears of rage and betrayal and grief, all at once. He held them back, before raising his chin and retorting, the final remnants of the lamb in him burning away to reveal a wolf. 

"The only soulless one is you! And I never want to fucking see either of you, ever again!"

He turned on his heel and ran up the stairs to his room, quickly gathering his suitcase and bags. Everything he owned and cherished was packed away in those bags. His entire life up to that point. Well. Almost. He kept wiping his tears away, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of seeing him cry. All the pictures from the church and of his parents – a reminder of the lies and the suffering he was leaving behind - were neatly set on the table. He only packed the ones he had with Kris, Bojan, Martin and Matić. He also had one picture of him and his brother, hidden in a math notebook. He wasn’t sure if he would keep it just yet, but he brought it with him anyways. There was still a glimmer of hope that he might get to keep his brother after all this, if no one else.

Nobody tried to stop him as he resolutely carried all his bags down the stairs and dragged them behind him as he stepped out of the door. 

"If you do this, you can't come back, Jan. You are adult. We have no legal obligation to help you anymore, or help save your soul from damnation."

Jan looked back at his father one last time. His shoulders were slumped, and he was holding a bloodstained piece of gauze to his forehead where the crucifix made its impact. Jan's own lip stung where it broke.

What relationship they had was past the point of no return, and he knew that for a while already. It was only a few minutes ago that they became aware of it. 

"Goodbye, dad," he said with finality, before he slammed the door behind him.

What little faith he had stored in his pocket that fateful night stayed behind in that house. He would never again find God between the strings of his guitar, nor find comfort in His divine light. Neither did he want to, ever again. But maybe, with time, he might be able to find himself.

That was the best he could hope for.

[dc-and-arfrona]

Doubting Him

----

Jason Todd x GN!Reader

Type: Angst / Fluff

Word Count: 700+

Masterlist

----

The Gotham night enveloped me as I walked the dimly lit streets, my mind consumed by a web of thoughts and emotions. Lately, a lingering doubt had taken root in my heart - the fear that Jason Todd, the man I loved, might have found solace in the arms of another.

My footsteps echoed on the pavement, matching the hollow ache within me. Memories of our stolen moments, whispered promises, and shared laughter seemed to fade into the shadows. I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed between us, that the warmth in his eyes had dimmed.

A chance encounter at the Gotham City Mall had fueled my fears. I saw him with a woman, their laughter mingling in the air, their gestures filled with an intimacy that cut through my heart like a knife. My chest tightened with an indescribable pain, a tumultuous mix of jealousy and heartbreak.

Bitterly, I wished for him to feel the same anguish that consumed me, to understand the depth of my love and the devastation caused by even the mere thought of him being with someone else. But realistically, I couldn't bear to see him in pain. My heart ached at the very idea.

Days turned into nights, and my mind became a battlefield of conflicting emotions. I yearned for answers, for clarity, for the chance to confront the demons that haunted my thoughts. With a resolute determination, I decided to seek the truth, no matter the outcome.

One evening, I found myself standing outside Jason's apartment building, my heart pounding against my chest. The darkness seemed to mirror the uncertainty that cloaked our relationship. I took a deep breath, gathering the courage to face the truth, whatever it may be.

With trembling fingers, I rang the doorbell, the sound reverberating through the silent hallway. Moments passed like an eternity until the door slowly creaked open, revealing Jason's worn and weary expression.

"Hey," he greeted me, his voice tinged with surprise and a hint of guilt. "I didn't expect to see you."

My gaze met his, searching for any sign of confirmation or denial. "I... I thought you might be seeing someone else," I finally managed to say, my voice laced with vulnerability.

A flicker of understanding crossed his features, his eyes filled with a mixture of remorse and longing. "I can understand why you might think that," he replied softly. "But it's not what you think."

A weight lifted from my chest, replaced by a renewed sense of hope. I stepped closer, the gap between us slowly closing. "Then, please, help me understand," I pleaded, my voice a mere whisper in the silence.

Jason hesitated, his gaze shifting as if grappling with his own inner turmoil. "I met her at the mall," he admitted, his voice filled with sincerity. "But she's just a friend, someone I used to know. There's nothing romantic between us, I swear."

Relief washed over me, tinged with a tinge of embarrassment for letting my doubts consume me. I had let fear cloud my judgment and almost let it tear us apart.

"I'm sorry for doubting you," I whispered, my voice filled with regret. "I let my insecurities get the best of me."

Jason reached out, his hand gently cupping my cheek. "It's okay," he said, his voice filled with understanding. "We all have our moments of doubt. What matters is that we communicate and trust each other."

Tears welled in my eyes, a mixture of relief and gratitude. In that moment, I realized that love wasn't just about the absence of doubts; it was about embracing them and choosing to confront them together.

"I love you," I confessed, my voice quivering with sincerity. "And from now on, I promise to trust in us and our love."

A soft smile graced Jason's lips as he pulled me into a tender embrace. "I love you too," he whispered, his voice filled with reassurance. "Let's leave behind the shadows of doubt and focus on building a future together."

As we stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, I felt the weight of uncertainty slowly dissipate. The path ahead was still unknown, but with love as our compass, we were ready to face whatever challenges awaited us.

[dewcrafter]

My Angel

"TADASHI TADASHI THERE HERE" screamed hitoka happily bursting into my room jumping up and down scaring me awake as I shot up "w-what huh" I said looking around before realizing what she said "THERE HERE???" I screamed happily standing up as she handed me a letter, when I opened the letter I saw in gold lettering

Dear, Yamaguchi Tadashi

You have been chosen to look after a boy named Tsukishima Kei he is going through a rough time as his father left his mother and brother when he was born so he blames himself for that and having the absence of a father his mother works overtime to keep their lives stable and just in 2 years his brother who he has put as a kind of father figure will lie to him which will have a devastating blow on his life, your assignment is to go to him in human form and be stay by his side to help him live a happy life. 

Sincerely,                                                                                                             Anglicized 

"Who were you assigned to? What is your job? why were you sent to them?" asked hitoka bombarding me with questions “well his name is Tsukishima Kei and my job is to become his friend the reason I was sent to him is because his home life is rough and will soon get way worse” I said looking at hitoka 

“What about you?” I asked making her smile softly 

“I am assigned to a Hinata Shoyo my job is to watch over him and he has a really sad home life so I hope I can change that” she said smiling that bright smile of hers that was filled with determination, hope and happiness “let’s get going and help who we’ve been assigned!” I said, smiling just as bright as she, “right!” she said before rushing out of the house as I followed close behind.

I soon got successfully delivered into the chosen family I was assigned to, they are very nice people and I’m glad they were chosen to be my temporary parents, I even have an older sister named tali she’s awesome and plays volleyball which is something I want to play so she’s helping me learn how to play. 

I met Tsukki at the age of 4 and witnessed how his brother lied to him but I must say he was a lot less uh salty? When he was little then he is now but that’s okay he’s still an amazing friend and I’m glad we've been able to keep are friendship all the way to high school and all but something’s been bothering tsukki since 8th grade and he hasn’t told me what, at first I thought he got a gf but he would’ve told me so it’s not that and since I can’t figure it out for the life of me I’ve decided to ask him while we walked to school (this is after the match against tanaka, hinata and kags btw) “hey tsukki?” I asked looking at him as he took off his headphones and looked slightly down at me “yes?” he asked our eye’s locking onto each other as we continued to walk “is something wrong you’ve been acting different ever since 8th grade” I said giving him a confused face as he gave a shocked expression and quickly looked away “i-uh it’s nothing yams” he said looking more to his other side before grabbing his headphones and continuing to listen to music meaning that the conversation was over. 

“HEY YAMAGUCHI'' screamed hinata as I entered the gym for morning practice, tsukki grabbed my hand and pulled me to his chest as hinata jumped into the air to attack me his action making me blush a little sadly kinoshita, suga and ennoshita saw me blush and quickly took me away from tsukki to the other side of the court “what was with the blush yamaguchi?” asked ennoshita 

“I-uh what blush?” I said getting nervous and looking to the side of me while also putting my hands up “oh c-” Suga tried to say but was interrupted by tsukki calling me over to start practice, of course I ran over to him happily finding an excuse to leave the 3.

Ever since suga, kinoshita and ennoshita tried to confront me they’ve tried everyday but luckily nishinoya-senpai, tanaka-senpai, hinata and tsukki have been able to get me away from them in time but the trio of upperclassmen had found out something I wish they hadn’t, as a angel you can’t be with the person you were assigned to it’s practically a taboo amongst angel’s….”yamaguchi?” I heard someone say looking up then down I saw hinata “o-oh did you need something hinata?” I asked making him grin while he started talking though I was half listening as I noticed hitoka honestly I felt quite lucky to have met who she’s watching over of course we don’t get to talk or at least I don’t get to talk to her she can talk as much as she want’s and only other angel’s will hear her “yams?” asked another voice interrupting hinata and gathering my attention as I looked slightly up at tsukki “yes tsukki?” I said smiling brightly at him as he looked at me for a few seconds before saying “follow me” and started walking towards the gym entrance, it took me a few seconds to catch up to him and as we were leaving I looked back at the rest of the gym and suga was smirking at me while ennoshita was giving me a thumbs up……..oh no what’sgoingtohappen?whatdotheyknow? Then I heard hitoka say “oh no….” I then came to one conclusion the only rule that should never be broken was the taboo did...did tsukki? No he couldn’t...so why was hitoka worried?

Changing pov to: Hinata

Yamaguchi left the gym with tsukishima and I noticed that ennoshita was giving tsukishima a thumbs up while suga was smirking at the two so I walked over to them “suga-senpai ennoshita-senpai” catching there attention they both looked at me suga speaking up “yes hinata?” while ennoshita gave me a glance at the door for some reason “do you know why tsukishima wanted yamaguchi to follow him?” after I said that they both smirked at each other and ennoshita said “well tsukishima is gonna get a boyfriend” and that’s when I heard a voice, that voice I’ve been hearing all my life I can hear her cheering us on and comforting me though no one el- my thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone yell “TADASHI” it was a slightly pained yell but we all knew it was tsukishima and when I looked up out the door I saw yamaguchi running away crying while tsukishima had a hand out seeming as he must’ve chased him a bit before stopping…..THERE IT IS AGAIN the beautiful voice she yelled out tadashi as well and for the first time I felt something go away….what does this mean?

[gravity-barbie]

The Sparrows favourite sibling leaving the academy HCs

Request

Masterlist

Marcus Hargreeves

-It might not be your offical number, but where it counts you’ve always been Marcus’ number two, someone he can really rely on

-So when you tell him you intend to leave the academy he’s flabbergasted and devastated

-He tries to bargain with you and offer you all kinds of compromises as a means of keeping you in place but won’t go so far as to attempt to force your hand and lets you leave while his dignity is intact

-He blames himself for your absence and questions his own leadership, after all if he can’t even keep his best friend in the academy how is he meant to keep the others there

-Which Ben makes several digs about both behind his back and to his face which he tries to be strong about and shut down but they do make him feel worse

-He distracts himself with work, including getting you removed from all the advertising, not vindictively (well mostly not) but just so he can stop seeing your face everywhere, and maybe even help you live the more normal life you seem to want better

-He occasionally fluctuates between too strict and too lenient with the others in his efforts not to let this happen again

Ben Hargreeves

-Ben has definitely taken you for granted before but you do actually mean the world to him

-He takes the news incredibly hard, first he lost his title of number one, and now he’s losing you, it’s unbearable

-Telling him quickly turns into an argument, which if you read between the lines is essentially him aggressively begging you not to leave

-He feels a lot of anger towards you, considering your decision nothing short of traitorous and it isn’t something he’ll forgive easily

-He’s pretty wrecked after you go, having a harder time getting back on the horse than you’d expect, drowning in alcohol, anger and self-pity, mourning you like you died

-Even if you offer, or hell, even beg for him to come with you he can’t, he wants to, but he’s too stuck on the pedestal he put the academy on

-He can’t bring himself to reach out to you after you leave, even when regret over how you ended things really sets in, but he does often catch himself wondering where you are and what kind of new life you’ve crafted for yourself

Fei Hargreeves

-you were never the only thing keeping Fei at the academy or anything, but more than anything else you made the bad parts of her life feel tolerable

-When you tell her (and you’ve answered all her follow up questions) she can’t keep herself as calm as she’d like to be, she’s angrier than you’ve seen her in a while

-But she’s also pleading with you, pointing out all the reasons you should stay

-She’s shocked that you could be so disloyal, feeling personally betrayed, and bitterly letting you know she would never abandon you like this

-However after she’s had time to calm down she really tries to suck it up and let you go, because despite everything she doesn’t want your goodbye to be filled with negativity

-She was hardly little miss sunshine before, but she’s still noticeably colder without you

-She never says anything or makes any kind of contact with you, but she’s often keeping an eye on you from a distance, to satiate her own curiosity and make sure you’re doing okay

Alphonso Hargreeves

-There is no shortage of things Alphonso likes about the academy in its current state but your company has always been top of that list

-When you start dropping hints about leaving, and even say as much, he avoids taking you seriously for as long as he can, waiting for you to back out

-He tries, but he really doesn’t understand where you’re coming from in wanting to leave, when you have limitless funds and fame here, and thanks to Pogo Reginald isn’t a problem anymore

-He actually exposes some sadness and vulnerability as he tries to convince you not to leave, though it does eventually escalate into an argument

-Unlike some of the others Alphonso is still willing to see you again after you leave, meeting up sometimes for lunch or things like that

-But while he’s willing to be half-civil he still feels a lot of resentment towards you, and you can’t make it through a meet-up without some bitter remarks

-He’s pretty good at putting on a facade of indifference to the others despite the deep loss he feels

Sloane Hargreeves

-You have consistently been the best part of the academy for Sloane, you’ve gotten each other through some really hard times

-You both had always talked about leaving the academy one day but she hadn’t actually expected you to act on it

-She really tries to talk herself into going with you but ultimately can’t bring herself to, she doesn’t resent you though, all you did was have more courage than her

-She puts on a brave face for you, happily seeing you off and assuring you she’ll be fine, trying her hardest not to guilt you or make you regret leaving

-But in reality she’s really struggling without you, sad that you’re gone and have made the academy a worse place in doing so

-She’s very determined to keep in touch with you and is always exited to hear updates about your life and what you think of the world outside the academy, living vicariously through you

-She finds it in herself to be truly happy for you, and dreams of one day joining you

Jayme Hargreeves

-Jayme hasn’t said it in so many words but your relationship is very important to her and she thought that was something you two silently agreed upon

-So when you tell her, you get a rare glimpse of emotion from her: anger, she’s also very sad but she sure as hell isn’t gonna expose that vulnerability to you

-She hears you out but she’s not gonna beg for you to stay, it doesn’t take long for her to say ‘fine, do whatever the hell you want’ and then give you the cold shoulder for the rest of your time here

-She goes out looking for fights every night to release the tension she feels

-Really she’s trying to run away from her feelings but eventually she can’t stop herself from breaking down in tears

-She gets pissed off whenever the others try to check in on her, or even bring up your name, always jumping to talk shit about you when they do to conceal her hurt

-She tries hard to forget about you, and even if she can’t she can pretend to, acting like you’re a stranger next time she sees you

Christopher Hargreeves

-Christopher tries not to dwell on it but life can be especially isolating for him, so when you tell him you’re leaving, he’s a bit panicked to lose one of the only people that make him feel truly seen

-He tries to change your mind, suggesting the two of you could just hang out outside the academy more as a compromise

-When it becomes clear you’re deadset on going he takes it pretty badly, getting moody with you (and others) and cuts you with some brutal words

-But as hurt as he is, he’ll still defend your decision to the others, and ultimately wants you to be happy

-He does consider going with you, but really he’s not gonna find a place where he’s more accepted and comfortable than living as a superhero celebrity, and besides he’s loyal to the other sparrows too

-He’s still one of the only siblings willing to stay in touch with you

[my-mt-heart]

Season 11 Emotional Arc Breakdown: Carol Peletier

From fixing everything to realizing it’s not enough

We all know Carol’s story so far this season leaves much to be desired, and it isn’t just a matter of screen time. What’s frustrating is the lack of POV. We don’t get to follow her as often as we should, instead having to rely on other characters’ stories to clue us into what she’s doing and feeling. She’s essentially in our blind spot, relegated to a supporting role, but like I said, I’m not here to talk about what’s missing. I want to focus on what we have and what we have for Carol is…also heartbreaking. Ironically enough, I think the character’s emotional experience falls in line with the viewers’ in the sense that she feels trapped in the dark, trying to find light in what she can accomplish for others. 

11A: Condensed again because I still can’t find the energy to do a play by play. Fresh off the rude awakening from Daryl, Carol persistently tries to “fix what she broke,” including a devastated Alexandria in the aftermath of the whisperer war she believes she started. It also means finding Connie, whose fate she takes responsibility for. Not to say these issues aren’t worth fixing in their own right – we can plainly see the relief in Carol’s eyes when Connie shows no sign of resentment toward her – but in Carol’s mind, this is her best shot of fixing things with Daryl. Or rather, for him. 

11x09: It’s that sense of fixing things, not an absence of deeper feelings for Daryl, prompting the smile on Carol’s face when she observes Daryl’s and Connie’s reunion. She’s at peace knowing he gets to reconnect with someone who can make him happy in a way she assumes she can’t. Because while it may be in her power to fix everything around her, there’s nothing she can do to fix herself. She’s still broken inside and someone as broken as her can’t expect to obtain happiness. She can only watch it play out from the sidelines, and in theory that should be enough to fill the void. 

11x10: Perhaps tired of playing pretend, Carol’s not going all in at the Commonwealth the way she did when she first arrived at Alexandria. She’ll bake the cookies, she’ll put on the apron, but she isn’t changing out of the plaid shirt she wore while trying to survive. It’s possible Carol didn’t want to relocate in the first place, but at least it allows her to remain close to Daryl and the people she cares about without getting too close.

She’s living on her own because after Henry, she can’t trust herself to be a maternal figure to Judith and RJ and she most certainly can’t form a nuclear family with Daryl. She isn’t wearing his bracelet anymore, a visual sign that she doesn’t want him to be tied down to her. From their friendly, but tense exchange, it’s apparent they still haven’t talked through any of the issues raised at the cabin and maybe on some level, Carol doesn’t think they need to anymore. As far as she’s concerned, Daryl is set up to have a good life and she needs to give him space to live it. If she inserts herself too much, her biggest fear of losing Daryl might come to fruition considering her long history of spreading pain and death like a damn virus. But unbeknown to her, inserting herself is exactly what she’s doing. 

Carol mentioning to Daryl that she used to read a lot of tabloids, going as far as to call Pamela Milton classy, reveals a toxic understanding of what’s “better.” Hence why Carol also gives Daryl an impressed look when they learn about Connie’s successful career as a journalist. She’s putting her on a pedestal, using Connie’s “higher status” to convince Daryl that she is a good match for him. Carol succeeds as far as getting Daryl to stare after Connie as she walks off. 

But much like the glamor she attributes to celebrity life, the romance she sees between Daryl and Connie is a construct of her imagination stemming from negative feelings toward herself. At one point, she even jokes to Ezekiel that she is “a lady of high caliber” to which he replies “the highest.” The look on her face afterward is one of dejection. She doesn’t really believe it, so why would a good judge of character like Daryl ever believe it? As long as she thinks Daryl is better off, she’ll keep using Connie as a buffer, containing her own longing that’s communicated in the lingering shot of Carol watching Daryl head off to work. 

Convinced Daryl doesn’t need her, Carol turns her attention to helping Ezekiel because despite their failed marriage, she ultimately still cares about him and wants to support him. For her, that support translates to striking a deal with Lance Hornsby to get him bumped up on the surgery list. It just goes to show that while she may not be a journalist or a politician, Carol is more than capable of doing important things if only in her own way… 

11x11: …not unlike Lance. He essentially acts as her mirror, telling her that he does better “on the outside,” working behind the scenes and using back channels in order to provide for his people. Though Carol always has her guard up and is basically just using Lance to get something she needs, it’s understandable that she wants to believe his intentions are good. Why? Because that validates her own actions, especially the ones that have been ill-received in the past. When Lance arrests the poppy farmer for abuse, something Carol herself is no stranger to, it gives her a reason to trust him. For the time being. 

11x12: Unlike Lance though, Carol doesn’t seek recognition for the tough decisions she makes. She can take backlash in stride, which we see when Ezekiel accuses her of cheating the system in order to get him the surgery he needs. She’s able to keep her emotions in check because the way she sees it, she’s doing the right thing again, adamant that Ezekiel’s life will make a difference in so many others’ in the future. She’s well aware it goes against Ezekiel’s moral code, but whereas her argument with Daryl compelled her to make amends, she’s not interested in reconciling that difference with Ezekiel. It isn’t his judgment that Carol can’t live with. It’s Daryl’s. 

11x14: Evidently giving Daryl space is no match for her desire to be close to him. She greets him outside the station with that high-pitched “funny running into you here” tone despite knowing he works there, also rocking a bold new color and a new hairdo. In the same way the aesthetical changes capture our attention, they’re also meant to capture Daryl’s. She misses him. She wants him to notice her and perhaps putting the responsibility on him helps her maintain the illusion that she isn’t smothering him. What she doesn’t expect however, as per her inquisitive “yeah?” is that she was already on his mind as much as he was on hers. 

When he doesn’t show up for their lunch date, Carol doesn’t waste time entertaining simple explanations. She knows Daryl is a man of his word and if he doesn’t stick to it, then something must be wrong. As always, she is the one who has to bring him back to where he belongs. 

Having to rescue Daryl from a pointless heist and then watch Mercer execute two of his own men sets off alarm bells in Carol’s head. She trusts that Lance can help put a stop to the clear corruption plaguing the Commonwealth, only to realize that he’s part of the problem too. He shatters the hope she had for his leadership and especially for the chance her people had at a fresh start. Feeling that urgency to protect them, she easily slips into a disguise she’s worn countless times, telling Lance what he wants to hear in order to keep him in her pocket. But as soon as she turns her back to him, she takes it off again, clearly calculating her next move. 

11x15: While her wheels are surely turning, Carol temporarily steps in as Judith’s and RJ’s guardian. She’s a little closed-off around them, still attempting to maintain boundaries while also wanting to be there for them and for Daryl when they need her. Curiously, she’s wearing a ring on her left ring finger, the placement of it very reminiscent of the dream Carol had in 10x03 wherein she expressed a yearning for normalcy. It could be that Carol is trying to recreate that normalcy with Daryl and the kids, but only in Daryl’s absence so as not to disrupt his own sense of normalcy. It could also be a visual representation of Carol's headspace as she's faced with the choice of rekindling her relationship with Ezekiel. The stone is blue, a stark contrast to Ezekiel's ring which had a red stone. Thus, she's emotionally committed to somebody else, somebody who's a stark contrast to Ezekiel himself. 

She dismisses all of Ezekiel’s efforts to reconnect, vaguely stating how busy she is with her “new job” with Lance and how she needs to “fix things.” She’s not looking to make Ezekiel complicit in whatever she may be planning, nor is she looking to join Ezekiel on his personal quest to rebuild his future. She does get pulled into the underground clinic eventually, proud that Ezekiel has found his light, but it is ultimately *his* light. It’s not the key to her own happiness despite what he may hope. No matter how many times Ezekiel finally shows Carol the gratitude she deserves for saving his life or how much he admires her strength for carrying so much darkness, it doesn’t make her feel better. She doesn’t want to exist in the darkness, but she doesn’t know where her light is if it even exists (Of course we know where it is: “Follow my light.”)

By telling Carol she makes the light, Zeke is basically encouraging her to go after what she wants. She has the power to bring others happiness, which means she has the power to make herself happy too. The question remains though, will she actively try now or does she need a hard nudge from the right person? I state that as a question because it seems like Carol is still behind Daryl on her emotional journey. She may be more conscious of what she wants than she was at the end of season 10, but we have yet to see a significant evolution. She’s been stuck in one headspace pretty much all season, believing her desires are unattainable, believing she hasn’t earned the right to choose. It’ll be a huge relief to see her finally get out of that in the final block. 

To be continued (again). 

[danger-noodle-uwu]

Hopeless wishes before the goodbyes

Genre: angst/drama part: 7 of the series

Trigger warning/mentions of death/sucide/self-harm

Summary: Mc, the exchange student, shows the characters about how cruel fate can be and how they will not hesitate to fight against its wishes, but really can they? Who knows?

Previous part // next part

"It is time, my love. I love you more than you can fathom, I hope that in another life would I stay by your side...goodbye..."

Lucifer couldn't believe that he'd see the spirit of his doll, let alone hear their melodious voice which was laced with dreadful words. Why..? When he was so close to saving you from becoming another Lilith..? Why is it that he must lose the ones he'd love..? It was all his mistake just like Lilith's death or belphegor's hatred, he was the eldest who failed to save his family, But this moment, the last one ever with you shouldn't be spent filled with doubts or sorrow yet love, the love he failed to give when you were alive, in his arms.

Mc, my love, you have flew with wings of an icaurus, and stolen its heart. The day you left us, was the day my heart died within my chest. I pray father gives you the sky where you can fly like you wished to. I love you... more than I am capable of... farewell, my lady...

Mammon refused you, refused you to go and leave him like you did, after all who'd let go of the love of their life so easily... not even in death would he do that...no–NO not another loved one snatched away from him... could it be..? That you'd be reborn again like Lilith maybe if he begs diavolo enough. Maybe..? If he could then he'd give up everything l-like—his money, his greed, even his own life and sanity just to have you back. But in this moment, all he could do is scream out his love confession in choked sobs.

Y-ya told me that you didn't like me cryin' and weepin' like a damned child than why did ya leave me?! Why couldn't you stay like you were supposed to?! Y-y-you promised to stay with me, then why did ya leave me?! Why...?! Why?!!!

Leviathan cried endlessly, knowing everything is over for him, no-one will ever care about him anymore and this is the goodbye all because of his mistakes and the misfortune that clouds him and the toll is always paid by the ones surrounding him. It hurt, everything hurt. He thinks he can join you soon, but that's just a lie for a demon's lifespan is far longer than yours. But this moment, he will confess his crimes, sins for being incapable of protecting you or loving you truly, how he should've from the beginning.

My world is completely empty without you, please come back to fill my world with the colours that glow but not as bright as you. Please don't go away, I can't imagine a life without you, my playe—fuck it, my love, my life. Please stay... Mc... please...I beg you...my love please...

Satan freezes with daze, he couldn't process your words...he knew one day death would snatch you away from him, leaving him devastated but never did he see this coming, you dying due to a random noble or meeting your soul. It felt like the whole world was crashing upon him within a second. Everything is confusing to him, nothing makes sense anymore...where is that knowledgeable demon now..? He doesn't know, all he knows you are going away and this is the last moment...to love...and say goodbye to his one and only...

T-tell me, my love why is it that the only person who can calm my storm become the reason behind it..? I'd have hoped to live a life with y-you, but it seems that my life is a devoid of love, and I have no existence at all in your absence...I l-love you even after this burning flame of life within me extinguishs...I love you...

Asmodues weeps in agony, he knows that his dear isn't coming back but he refuses to let them go either. A part of him believes that you will return in his arms, safe and sound and kiss him but deep down he knows you can't. You can't ever kiss him or hug him or even touch him...no matter how much he needs it..and he's useless again..does he really not deserve love? Is that why you're gone.? He doesn't know... but he can't let you fade away, can he? What is he without you..? nothing... without your love, your affection, your touches...nothing, sweetheart, I'm nothing...

Sweetheart, darling Mc, must you leave me all by myself..? I'm nothing. I can't live without your love, I can never let go. You see this pathetic ugly demon, he's all yours. He cannot live without you, so don't you dare leave me, my love. It hurts, honey, it hurts to breathe knowing I can't join you...never in eternity, but i will still love you...

Beelzebub guilt-trips himself for each and everything that ever hurt you, he was a strong demon, one of the strongest ever been. Yet, he couldn't protect you just like he failed Lilith in the past. It was all his mistake for not saving you like he should've. He was a failure, who couldn't protect his loved ones. You, Mc, mended the bond between his family and shined brightly like a candle within this darkness, which was extinguished all because of him...and you're demise made him so miserable, so miserable he couldn't even ask for comfort, knowing he didn't deserve it...but he can't let you go with empty silence that wounds you... he can't...

Mc, cupcake, why is everything falling apart much faster than I can ever pick up the pieces... why is it that because of my mistakes, you pay the price? It is my mistake, all my fault. I couldn't save Lilith nor you... I'm a mistake, just like father had said... I love you... please stay safe and find happiness that you deserve... I'll pray that you find your true happiness... goodbye, my sugar-cookie...

Belphegor punishes himself for even having a thought about hurting you or your feelings, his arms littered with cuts which bleed out as he screams. Pain, pain is everything he ever deserved, not the love or kindness you showed him. He wasn't worthy of you, but it was all your fault for being so kind, wasn't it? Why were you ever kind to a sinner, who killed you? He was stupid, an idiot for falling in love with a human and you were...so perfect he couldn't resist the temptation. He was a weakling for not being able to save you, he was the reason you became another Lilith. But at least, he gets to say goodbye despite him being unworthy of it.

I cried a lot because of you, idiot. I laughed a lot because of you. I believed in love because of you, a—and now I’m heartbroken because of you... idiot, my stupid human... why did this have to happen? Why are you leaving me just like Lilith did? I love you, c-cuddle-bug... please don't leave me, I can't live without you...

Diavolo forced a smile, a smile to settle the panic and dispute among the people upon your death... he showed empathy to all those you befriended and offered comfort despite his position making him unapproachable, it was the least he could do, after failing you and his people... Mc, you were an angel and he was a sinner, a sinner bound to a throne of thorns that pierced his heart however, didn't allow him to shed a tear. What was the point of holding so much power when you are incapable of using it in a situation of need... so, he doesn't repeat his mistake and bids you a farewell, full of love yet sorrow.

My queen, it was a gift, your time with me was a gift and I wholeheartedly thank you for it... I am a sinner, born far disgraceful than any creature, yet you stayed like an angel and blessed me with your grace... thank you for loving me and I love you too... my queen, I hope you rest well...

Barbatos quivered with panic and terror, he's seen enough horrors from the past and upcoming future upon the command of his master. And your words, make him shake just like his world did when you—he can't... he's too scared to even say a thing fearing that one reality may be driven into another one, more dreadful... he feels weak knowing how miserable he was for seeking out a day off when his young lord was mourning your loss, but he could barely keep himself together before rushing off to his room, for inside he had shattered just like a glass doll. Which was now crushed as he mutters his wishes to you... for one last time...

I a-assumed you, my lover would always be a p-part of my life, yet yo-you vanished as if you had never b-been there... Only these mem–memories are left behind... I wish I could join you, I wish th–that I could fade away with y-you forevermore... and dance to your favorite t–tune... my beloved, I lo-love you more than I can bear... goodbye...

Solomon died inside, a sorcerer—no, No. The Most Strongest Sorcerer known. The Wisest King. The Pact-Master Of 72 demons. For all those titles he was indeed a failure and a disappointment who couldn't do necromancy, who couldn't save his apprentice, the same who stole away his heart...did he even deserve to live after that..? No, he can't think like that, if he gives up then who will bring you back..?! He won't give up until you return to him, with the same shine in your eyes and the sweet smile adorning your face... you are his life, and he can't give you up...

I promise that you will be back again, my sweet apprentice. I swear on my life, you are my destiny and my desire. You will return back to me and thos demon brothers like you've always wanted and we'll live happily ever after. I promise my love, so please don't give up now—if y-you stay I s-swear I'll let you try the forbidden spells b—but please don't give up on me... don't give up on us... please, I beg you...

Simeon had lost all faith, in love, in kindness, in his father even so. Pain was an understatement for what he felt. Betrayal too. He could hold the pieces of his broken heart and put them together hoping they'd stay in place as the little angel isn't strong enough to see his guardian's tears yet. Luke was a child, who deserves nothing less than happiness instead of pain and simeon would do anything to give him that. The majestic angel would follow his elder's steps if it comes to that. He wishes he could be lying in casket where you rest. Yet, when father blesses him with the an opportunity to converse with you, even if it's the last one, he is grateful...

You know, I always thought we’d look back on our tears and laugh, but I never thought I’d look back on our laughter and cry. I love you, my sweet angel. Whenever I look at your face, my heart is instantly filled with joy. Only God knows how much you mean in my life… you are my day, my night, my world... I hope we can reunite soon... I love you too...

Luke doesn't understand, how can so much happen in just a few seconds. Your death or him being blinded, just how?! How could someone—anyone ever hurt such a sweet and kind person much like his sibling?! And why did they even kill you for?! How were they so heartless, much more than demon would be?! He doesn't know but he cries uncontrollably while choking out how he will punish that monster by his own hands (aww my baby🥺) how dare they?! And when hears you one last time, he thanks you for everything and promises to Avenge you...

Nee-san, I love you so muchhh... I miss you but I know you will go to celestial realm soon... please wait for me there, I promise I will take good care of you and save you from all those mean people! I will kill those ugly disgusting demons that did this to you, I swear... I love you so much, Nee-san... take care, ok?!

"My love, please let me go

I do not wish to burden you

And chain you to the past

Let me go...please..."

You cried out with your dying strength, leaving the other-half unsaid

Until we meet again...

My true desire...

Masterlist

[bumbleklee]

healing

masterlist | 1k prompt masterlist | discord server | pregnancy series

request: Hay! May I request Scaramouche , Kaeya, Diluc, and Childe finding out their partners unborn child isn't theirs but belongs to one of the other characters! Because they broke up for awhile but got back together very quickly, so no cheating involved but obviously devastation and angst!Basically Childe finds out his s/o is pregnant with Scaramouches baby , diluc finds out his s/o is pregnant with Kaeya's baby . Etc.

pairings: diluc x female! reader, side kaeya x female!reader

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of abortion, 1.6k words

a/n: this turned out a lot longer than expected so i only had enough energy to do diluc and kaeya :( i’ll most likely to childe and scaramouche at a later date!

On the five year anniversary of Crepus’ death, Diluc took a trip to Inazuma by himself. You wanted to join him but he insisted that he had important things to tend to and you would only get wrapped up in something unnecessary. The thought of being without Diluc for so long led to an argument and by the time he was leaving for his trip, you had broken up.

It was lonely without Diluc. He was only supposed to be gone for a month but that soon spanned into two months, then three. You only knew he was alive by his occasional letter home to Jean.

To fill his absence, you began spending more time with Kaeya. It was nothing serious but when Kaeya held your hand and kissed you under the moonlight, you felt butterflies come back. You found comfort in him while Diluc was away but couldn’t stop the longing for your actual soulmate. When Diluc returned home from Inazuma, you ran right into his arms but the damage was already done.

“Good morning,” Diluc greeted you after an eventful night, “How are you feeling?”

You shrugged, continuing to pour yourself a mug of coffee. “I’m okay.”

Diluc raised an eyebrow at you, “Really? You were throwing up quite a bit this morning. Do you need to see Barbara?”

“No,” You said quickly, too quickly, and coughed to cover it up, “I think I just ate something bad. I just need to rest.”

Diluc hummed and wrapped his arms around you, “I missed you so much.” He pressed his lips to the side of your neck, pressing you closer to his body. Just before he started anything, Diluc pulled away. “I’m heading into town today. Will you be alright alone?”

A feeling of dread ran through your body. “Do you mind if I join you? I need to pick something up from the bookstore,” You lied, beads of sweat forming on your forehead.

“If you’re up for it,” Diluc said, “But take it easy, okay?”

“I will.”

You and Diluc finished getting ready for the day and he locked up the winery. Diluc being home was supposed to be paradise but instead you were consumed with guilt. While he was gone, you had been too careless with Kaeya and the fact was coming back to bite you in the behind now. Within the last three months, you had gotten pregnant with Kaeya’s child.

At the gates of Mondstadt, you and Diluc parted. You started towards the bookstore until you were out of sight from Diluc and then headed up to the Knight’s Headquarters. Your palms were sweating but Kaeya deserved to know before you made any decisions.  

Luckily, he was in his office when you got there.

“Hey,” You whispered, stepping inside the room and closing the door, “Can we talk?”

Kaeya looked up from the paperwork scattered around his desk. A smile grazed his lips and he beckoned you over, “Didn’t think I’d be seeing much of you with Diluc back home.”

“I’m pregnant.”

The office filled with silence, Kaeya’s cheeky smirk was gone instantly. You felt your body trembling, your hands clasping over your stomach as you looked down in shame. You could only imagine how Kaeya himself was feeling.

“When are you getting rid of it?”

You snapped your head up. Kaeya was staring at you with narrowed eyes, an expression you couldn’t quite place was on his face.

“What?” You asked in shock.

Kaeya crossed his arms, “When are you getting the abortion?”

“I’m not!” You said harshly, glaring back at Kaeya. “It’s my baby, too!”

“What are you going to tell Diluc when the baby pops out with blue hair?” His words were cutting deep, slashing at your heart and making you feel sick to your stomach. He was right, of course, but you’ve always wanted a baby of your own. You were being selfish.

“I’ll figure that out,” You muttered.

“Better figure it out soon. Only nine months, you know?” He was being cruel to you. Kaeya had every part in this as you did and you were shocked he wasn’t as freaked out as you were. “I could tell him, too, if you want?”

“No!”

“No?”

“No, I mean,” You stammered, “Why would you want to tell him?”

Kaeya smirked then, “I just think it would be fun to tell my little brother I knocked up his girl when he wasn’t around.” This Kaeya wasn’t the same Kaeya that took care of you when Diluc was gone. That Kaeya was patient and kind, this one was cold and mean. He continued, “Or you could just get an abortion and we can all pretend this never happened.”

You clenched your jaw in desperation, “Kaeya, we can run away together. We can raise our baby and be a little, happy family.”

He propped his elbows onto the top of the desk and placed his chin in them, “Have you caught feelings for me? Maybe I didn’t make it clear enough to you but you were nothing but a cock sleeve for me while my beloved brother was gone.”

Your mind was racing. How could this be true? He took you on dates, bought you expensive gifts, and took care of you so nicely. Sure, you frequently had sex but it was met with sweet aftercare and words of assurment. Maybe you did catch feelings for Kaeya but that was his fault for being so endearing.

“I want this baby,” You said again, more firmly this time.

Kaeya huffed in frustration, “Really, it would be so much better if you just got rid of it now before it was too late.”

“I don’t need your opinion.” And with that, you turned on your heel and walked straight out his office, slamming the door. You didn’t need Kaeya Alberich controlling your future just because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

Facing Diluc that night was the hardest thing you could have ever done. “When did you leave town?” He asked casually, finding you sitting at the dining room table alone. He noted you looked mentally pained and sat down beside you, “Is something the matter, Love?”

“Everything is going to be fine,” You said weakly. He noticed your choice of words but said nothing about them. Diluc turns your chin towards his face and frowns. You’re a mess. Your hair is disheveled and your eyes are red and puffy from, presumably, crying. You look like you’re going to be sick again but make no effort to move.

“What’s wrong?” Diluc asks again, coiling a finger through your loose hair.

“I need to get rid of it,” You say. Your voice is dull and dead, “But I can’t.”

“Get rid of what? You’re scaring me,” Diluc says. His eyes are wide and there’s panic rising in his throat.

You finally look up, your eyes full of guilt and oncoming tears and Diluc pauses to just stare at you for a moment. “I ruined everything,” You continue. Your words are broken and sprained.

“Please, tell me what happened. I want to help you.”

You take a deep breathe and grab Diluc’s hands, pulling them forward and letting them rest on your still-flat abdomen.

Oh.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yeah.”

Diluc wants to be excited but something inside of him is telling him to wait. Something isn’t right, something is wrong, and you’re not in the right headspace to celebrate with him. “Why were you going to abort it?”

“Because it’s not yours.”

All the skies in the world turn grey and all the flowers instantly wilt. The ground opens up and pulls Diluc down, the pressure clogging his airways and making his head throb. It feels like someone is shoving a knife into his gut and twisting it around and yet, he’s still in his dining room.

“I’m sorry,” You say as you begin to cry. “I’m sorry.”

“Whose?” You don’t answer right away and Diluc curls his hand into a fist and slams it onto the wooden table top. “Whose?!”

You choke back a sob, “Kaeya’s.”

“How could you?”

“We weren’t together!” You cry out, tears streaming down your face. “We broke up - you left me! Kaeya was the only one who was there for me.”

Diluc runs a hand through his hair. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t believe you ran to his brother but he was at fault, wasn’t he? You weren’t together when it happened so who was he to blame?

“Why aren’t you with Kaeya?” Diluc asked quietly.

“He doesn’t want me or the baby,” You admit, “It was just a thing. It was never going to go anywhere. You’re the one I want, ‘Luc.”

He sighs again, “I just don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything! I’ll get an abortion and we can pretend like this never happened and go back to normal!”

Diluc realized then that his hand was still on your stomach. Being a mother was something you’ve always wanted to do and depriving you of that felt inhumane. Even if the baby was still part of Kaeya, it was still part of you.

“Do you want this baby?” Diluc whispered.

You hesitated, your bottom lip quivering even more. “I do,” You whispered back.

Diluc took a deep breath, “Then let’s move away and raise this baby together.”

“What?” You asked in shock.

Diluc took your hand in his, squeezing it, “This is going to take a while to heal from but maybe a little one will help us. If you want to keep the baby, then we’ll keep the baby, okay?”

“You aren’t leaving me?”

“No, I’m not.”

To start the process of healing, Diluc moved you and him to Liyue where he opened up a second winery to continue his work. Healing was going to be a lengthy journey with lots of ups and downs but when you welcomed a little baby boy months later with (your color) hair, it was all worth it.

[heniareth]

But what if Nelaros had survived.

If Tabris is recruited into the Grey Wardens, he comes with!

Now he just has to survive the Joining (if he becomes a Grey Warden, but Duncan probably would have to recruit him too if the guards learn that he was involved in Vaughan's death)

And Ostagar

And every single freaking quest including the Deep Roads themselves

Nelaros with the trap-maker skill and his blacksmithing knowledge, fixing armor and weapons, maybe helping the rogues and finding new ways to apply poison to weapons which are quicker, waste less poison and are safer for the wielder

Nelaros seeing more of the world than he ever has, and it's so big and beautiful and dangerous.

His honest heart and friendly nature gain him friends among the companions. Alistair helps him hone his skills with the blade; him and Zevran discuss the differences and nuances of Fereldan and Antivan courtships in depth; he is fascinated by Morrigan's magic; he asks Leliana about Orlais, Wynne about life in the Circle, Sten about the Qun (he's had a taste of the wider world and wants more); he adapts weapons for Shale and steals Oghren's drink from time to time

Romance with the companions would be a.... topic to discuss

Tabris and him are technically married. Or engaged (the wedding was interrupted, they never said any vows). What do they do? What do they want? They fought through Denerim and through Ostagar together; where does that put them in relation to each other?

Either way, imagine: the fiercest battle couple/comrade in arms you've ever seen

They made their way through an arl's palace with stolen weapons and armor, two untrained elves who probably had a little too few meals in their lifetime, and they made it out alive

Literally nothing is gonna stop them

Making quick work on the slavers that dared to threaten their people. They rescued Shianni, they do the same for Cyrion

Standing side by side before the Landsmeet, before the nobles who stood by as the alienage was purged, the Blight swept through and slavers ran rampant, and knowing that they killed one of them at the start of their adventure and could proceed through the whole Landsmeet if necessary

Oh, and by the by, the Dark Ritual has potential new warden to complete it (:

Amd finally, the Archdemon. One sacrifices themselves; or they both survive yet again. Either way, there's gonna be tears.

After the battle of Denerim, provided he has survived, he tells Cyrion, Soris and Shianni everything about his adventures. He helps either Alistair or Tabris or both sort through the aftermath of the battle, deal with the ceremonies and get the best deal out of the new ruler's gratitude. He might not call the Denerim alienage home, but it's an alienage and he's an elf and he'll be damned if things don't get better after all of this.

Even so, he stays with the Grey Wardens. After travelling the length and width of Ferelden, the walls that encase the alienage seem terribly confining in comparison. There are more darkspawn to kill, the Grey Wardens need more recruits and capable leadership... and maybe Tabris is still around and they'll be able to share this chapter of their lives as well.

--

Or Tabris could tell the Denerim guards he wasn't involved and tell Nelaros to sit his pretty self down and to look after her family for her

And Nelaros does

He endures the hostility their neighbours direct at him and Sodis for antagonizing the humans

He defends the Alienage and the same neighbours that threw stones at him when the humans come with torches and swords (they are here because of him after all, says a voice in the back of his mind). He runs into a burning building to drag somebody out (he knows his way around fire thanks to his work at the forge). He gets one or two kids out of the orphanage and is devastated that he couldn't save more of them.

He watches Soris and Valora grow fond of each other and thinks back to the girl he went searching for and who fought by his side through a heavily guarded palace

News of the defeat at Ostagar get to Denerim and they hold a funeral for her

He supports Cyrion as best he can, looks for work, brings home money and food and medicine when they need it. He's doing it for her (and, slowly, he becomes part of the family)

He still thinks about Highever and his family there. He writes a lot of letter

Then the Blight comes. There have been plagues in the alienage before and Valendrian takes the necessary precautions. Nelaros might be able to contribute some information of interest; after all, life in the Highever alienage is rougher than in Denerim and they surely have seen plagues aplenty

When the slavers take Valendrian, everything descends into chaos. Nelaros tries to help. Valora is the next to be taken, then Cyrion. He finally goes to the Tevinter mages to see what is going on and promptly gets caged as well

He's lucky; he waited long enough before snooping around to still be there when the fabled Hero of Ferelden shows up

It turns out to be Tabris

The surprise is immense; the reunion is probably awkward (even if she's not in a romance with a companion, she's definitely not the same person he met a year ago). But all that has to be resolved quickly or be put aside because of the Blight

He helps fill her in on what happened during her absence; maybe she asks him to accompany her to the Landsmeet to accuse Loghain

Never before in Ferelden's history have two elves stirred up a Landsmeet like these two

Afterwards, Nelaros decides to be bold and asks for an audience with the new ruler. He explains the situation in the alienage and beseeches them to help change it. It might not amount to much, it might not even yield any results, but he had to try (his determination impresses the ruler. They will remember this elf)

He helps Shianni defend the alienage during the battle of Denerim. If he doesn't fall, he helps rebuild, put out fire, tend to the injured (he also tries to establish conversation with the Dailish elves that have helped defend the city. While not all of them are very receptive, their keeper is more than happy to join forces with the city elves to prevent more people from dying in the aftermath of the battle)

In the end, however, the Denerim alienage is no longer what it once was. A lot of people are leaving. The question presents itself: should he stay and help rebuild, go back to Highever or join Tabris (if she hasn't died) on her future journey? The question has no easy answer: he has come to love the Tabris family; the new ruler contacted him again about the business with the slavers and better living conditions for Denerim's elves; the kids he saved from the massacre at the orphanage look to him for a father figure. In the end, he stays. He's needed here, he has the chance to make a difference, he's happy; and, if Tabris is willing, he can wait for her a little longer

[spooderboyandtincan]

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

Chapter 2

There’s a spider on the ceiling.

Peter can barely make out its eight gangly legs through a blur of tears. He feels some sort of bond with it- not only because of the DNA they share- but because they’re both alone. Then again, the spider has probably spent its entire life in this room, and Peter’s only been here- on a whole different continent- for a good couple of hours.

Maybe it’s just the jet lag. According to literally anyone who’s known him at all- he gets adorably grumpy when he hasn’t gotten his beauty sleep (Tony’s words, not his.)

Who does he think he’s kidding? He’s homesick, he’s alone, and he really, really misses Tony. Misses him as in the his heart is literally being torn apart sort of missing. He wishes he’d considered how his severe separation anxiety might play a part in this when he’d still had a choice.

Peter chokes on a whine- the one that forces its way out of his throat until he’s full on sobbing and gasping for breath.

He scrambles for his phone on the nightstand. He needs Tony, he needs him, like a fish needs water. He fumbles with the lock screen and desperately taps on Tony’s icon (a picture of Tony holding a proudly displaying a mug that reads “Number 1 Iron Dad.”) It rings once, twice-

“Pete? How’s it going, kiddie?” Tony’s voice, so gentle, so full of love and concern- he already knows something’s wrong, of course, because his Dad Senses are off the charts- makes the tear in his heart rip open.

“Tony,” he sobs. “Tony. I don’t- I can’t, I can’t do this. I wanna go home, Tony.”

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay Petey, breathe for me okay?” He can hear, just barely over his sobs, that Tony is pacing, can hear that his breathing is just a bit too fast, and Peter feels awful for freaking him out, but just can’t stop crying.

“‘M so sorry,” he wails, “‘M so sorry. I-I wanna go home, I want you Tony.” He grasps his pillow tightly and buries his face in it, trying to stifle his sobs, pretending that Tony is there, wrapping his arms around him, kissing his hair, rocking them back and forth.

“I know, baby, I know,” Tony croons, “Everything’s gonna be okay, we’re okay. Right now I just need you to take a deep breath, buddy- in, two-three, out, two-three, okay?” Tony demonstrates for him, taking exaggerated inhales and exhales, which are probably benefiting him as much as they are Peter. “You’ve got this, Pete, I know you do.”

“I miss you, Tony,” Peter whispers after a few seconds of shaky breathing. “I wanna go home.” He feels so immature, begging Tony to fly across the Atlantic in the dead of night just because he’s a little homesick.

Tony, however, seems to consider his request very seriously. “Do you want me to fly out? I could be there in a few hours.”

Peter almost laughs, imagining Tony arriving to the hotel at daybreak, dressed only in sweatpants and a stained AC/DC t-shirt. It’s actually not a bad idea- Tony could act as a chaperone, they could explore the city together, make another precious memory.

“Yeah, um, that-that would be great, Tony,” he sniffs, wiping the wetness of his cheeks. “A-are you sure? I don’t wanna, like, make you, there’s probably Iron, um, Iron Man things, I don’t-”

“Pete, listen to me,” Tony interrupts, voice again so impossibly gentle. “Nothing- nothing- is more important to me than you, understand? I’m here for you. Always”

Peter smiles wetly, relaxing back into the covers, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “I know. Tony?”

“Yeah, bud?

“Can-can you, um, talk? Please?”

“‘Course I can, Pete. What about?” Tony says fondly. The idea that his voice can bring such comfort to this sweet kid makes him feel all… schmoopy.

“Anything. I just… wanna hear your voice, s’all.” He tugs the covers up and curls into a ball, resting the phone on the pillow next to his ear.

“I’ve got you, bud,” Tony says. I miss you too. “Oh, you’ve gotta know what DUM-E did today….”

Peter feels himself relaxing as Tony talks about his day. It’s not just the words that soothe him, but the familiar sound of his warm voice that’s full of such love and affection. His thoughts begin to wander as he drifts into a barely conscious haze, but the voice remains steady and present in his mind.

Tony is quick to notice that Peter is on the precipice of slumber and wakefulness, and is just as quick to provide the last bit of reassurance Peter needs to fall asleep. “Sweet dreams, buddy. I love you,” he murmurs.

Just before Peter slips away, he finds himself slurring, “Love you too.”

Tony stays on the call for a solid ten minutes after Peter conks out, listening to the steady whoosh of his breathing against the speaker. Before he finally makes himself hang up, he whispers a quiet, “‘Night, Petey. I’ll be there before you know it.” Tony leaves for the airport at daybreak, not able to spend another second in that horribly empty penthouse. The absence of Peter’s presence is tremendously obvious, and Tony finds himself desperately trying not to imagine the unimaginable.

~~~~~

With a pilot on-call 24-7, and without the hassles of a public airport, he’ll be back with Peter around early afternoon.

Thank god.

He steps out of the Cadillac, barely noticing the blistering wind and the tiny snowflakes biting at his cheeks in his haste to board the plane. He greets the pilot- Allison, he thinks- with a nod, but she gestures to stop when he moves towards the stairs.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark!” she says over the howling wind. “We just can’t fly in this weather!”

To hell with that, Tony thinks. “When’s it letting up?”

“I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Stark,” Allison says apologetically. “Not for a few days at least.”

Tony activates the suit with a simple tap of his watch, the nanobots rushing over him within seconds. Allison gasps and jumps back, gaping as he rockets into the air.

He’s been flying for a good 50 seconds before a neon red warning lights up the HUD.

“Boss,” F.R.I.D.A.Y says, tone filled with caution. “The wind is blowing at a speed of 78 mph. I must advise that you return to the ground immediately, or you run the risk of losing control of the suit.”

Tony curses loudly. Just his luck, really. “How high is the risk?”

“89%, boss.”

“So, not all that bad,” he chuckles.

Then, F.R.I.D.A.Y reminds him how devastated Peter would be if anything happened to him.

Tony returns to his car on foot and pulls out his phone to call Peter.

~~~~~

Peter basks in the sunlight outside of a bustling café, sipping from a cup of hot chocolate. He’s ordered a chocolate croissant, and added the tasteless protein powder Tony and Bruce had synthesized to keep up with his spidey metabolism to his mug. Despite the jet lag, he’s eager to explore the city and it’s merits, his enthusiasm only growing knowing that Tony will be here within a few hours.

Feeling pleasantly full, Peter leans back in his chair- it’s an armchair, on a stool, and it’s driving him nuts, he loves it- and beams at Ned, who lounges next to him in an identical chair. “Dude,” he says.

“Dude,” Ned agrees.

Peter is grinning, Ned is grinning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, life is sweet-

Peter’s phone rings.

His first thought is that Tony’s plane has crashed.

His second is one of relief when he realizes it’s Tony who’s calling him.

His third is that his plane has crashed, and Tony’s calling him, mortally wounded, to say goodbye.

Ned stares at him, taking in the panicked look on his face, and mouths You good? Peter shakes his head and scrabbles for his phone.

“Pete?” Tony says as soon as he’s answered. He sounds fine, at least. “Hiya.”

“Are you okay?” Peter asks first, because he knows that even if Tony sounds like he’s fine, that doesn’t mean he is.

“Yeah. Yeah, Petey, I’m just fine, I promise,” Tony assures him. Peter relaxes in his chair, flashing Ned a quick thumbs up, because knows Tony would never lie to him, especially not if he was hurt. “How’re you doin’?”

Peter’s face lights up. “Oh, great! There are like, dogs everywhere here, even in the restaurants, and I saw this German Shepherd eating like- dog ice cream or something? And I got this super good chocolate croissant where we’re having breakfast. Y’know, I really thought the jet lag would be super bad but I’m not like, tired at all yet!”

“Aw, buddy, that’s great, I’m glad you’re havin’ a good time,” Tony says, voice dripping with fondness. “You’re drinking enough water, staying hydrated and all that, right?”

“Yup! Are you?”

Tony scoffs. “‘Course I am. Hafta set a good example n’ shi- stuff.” Peter snorts. He knows Tony does his best not to curse around his- and he quotes- “young, unsullied ears" but he ends up failing quite a lot.

“Which reminds me bud, how’s Ted?” Peter’s best friend’s health has pretty much no correlation with cursing, which makes the teen think that Tony has a specific reason for asking about him. He decides not to bring it up though.

“It’s Ned,” he sighs in mock frustration. And he’s good, he’s right next to me! I guess I didn’t tell you yesterday, but the hotel guy put us into two different rooms ‘cause they had extra or something and we didn’t realize ‘til we got to our rooms.” He sighs again then, for real, his good mood evaporating.

Tony’s Dad Senses pick up on it instantaneously. “Not ideal, huh?” he says gently, which earns him a small laugh from the kid. “D’you want me to talk to them?”

Peter nods sheepishly, then realizes Tony can’t see him. “Yeah. Thank you,” he says in a small voice, embarrassed that the genius is going to all this trouble just because he’s a little lonely. “Are you gonna be here soon?” he asks then, because he misses Tony, misses him just like he knows Tony is missing him.

Tony clears his throat. When he speaks, the guilt in his voice could rip him in half. “About that, buddy, well- Jesus, Pete, I’m so sorry. The, uh, the wind is too dangerous for me to fly over, and it’s not letting up ‘til around Monday. I’m so sorry, kiddo.”

Peter’s heart sinks. “Oh,” he says numbly.

He hears Tony lurch up. “Hey, Petey- shit, I’m so sorry, buddy. I- you know what, fuck it, I’ll fly over anyway, I-”

“No! No, I’m okay, I’m fine!” Peter says, wincing silently at the forced cheeriness in his voice, and knowing that Tony has seen right through.

“Hey, hey, buddy, it’s okay, I’ll be perfectly safe-”

“You can’t,” Peter pleads, desperate to keep Tony safe. “Please, Tony, you can’t, you’ll crash, or-”

“Whoa, Petey, deep breaths,” Tony interrupts, voice gentle. “I’m right here, I’m fine, you hear me?” He waits for Peter’s breathing to resume a steady rate, then says, “Bub, I won’t fly over if it’s not safe, I promise.”

Peter sighs. He’s relieved beyond belief that Tony is keeping both feet on the ground where he’ll be safe- he better be- but he misses the billionaire more than ever.

“And hey, who knows, maybe the wind’ll let up in a few hours!” Tony chuckles. Sobering a little, he says, “If the weather is on schedule, I’ll be there on Monday, 6 am, sharp.”

Peter prays he will. “I miss you, Tony,” he mumbles- he feels childish, knowing that he’s just begged the man to stay in New York, and now is just making him more miserable knowing that he’s miserable.

“I miss you too, Petey,” the genius murmurs back, voice filled with sorrow.

“Peter!” The phone nearly flies out of Peter’s hand as Mr. Harrington taps on his shoulder. He gasps a little, and though his teacher doesn’t seem to notice, Tony sure does, his gentle voice turning harsh with barley contained panic. “Who was that, Pete? Are you okay?”

“Um-” he tries.

“Come on, now! The bus is almost here, I can see it around the corner!” Mr. Harrington says loudly, and abruptly struts off, frantically waving down the bus that is already stopping.

“Peter!” Tony exclaims.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, it was just Mr. Harrington,” he rushes to reassure him. Tony breathes out a heavy sigh of relief. “Uh, the bus is here, I- I have to go.” He hurries to catch up with his best friend.

“I love you,” Tony says. “I love you so much, Pete, stay out of trouble, be safe.”

He doesn’t want to say goodbye. Neither of them do.

“I love you, Tony,” says Peter. “I’ll be safe, don’t worry about me!”

And with that, the call ends.