#then diego/eudora was diego's safe space

[lookingforhappy]

theyre the only way the writers know how to develop their characters

does anyone actually understand the whole romantic relationships in the umbrella academy because if so please enlighten me with such information.

[neuronary]

in honour of misfits going onto uk netflix and me absolutely being about to fall back into it and fail all my mocks:

tua misfits au

a.k.a. i remember watching this show when it first came out even though i was way too young and now i feel nostalgic

luther was out the night his father died. he got arrested for possession of illegal substances and sentenced to 200 hours of community service because he was a local celebrity, courtesy of his dad pushing him into early-entry space programs for the last four years. it's pretty safe to say he's never getting to the moon now.

(the drugs weren't even his, but that girl had looked so scared when he heard the police sirens and he didn't want anyone to get in trouble.)

diego's always been a troublemaker. anger issues because his dad always saw him as second best to a bottle of whiskey. desperation and fear because his mum was sick and only getting sicker. heartbreak because sometimes she'd look straight through him and not even recognise his face. eudora patch knew him in high school and took pity on him when her supervisor caught him breaking and entering.

(he was only trying to help. that little old lady was making him tea when the police finally fucking showed up. if they'd just do their jobs right he wouldn't have been there. the again, if he'd have just kept his mouth shut he would have got off with a caution.)

allison knows what it looks like to be twenty years old with a three-year-old daughter. she hears everything people call her behind her back. she's learned to ignore it. but she couldn't ignore some judgemental dick insulting her daughter in a public place. he deserved what he got.

(aggravated assault in defense of a minor sounds a lot better than what actually happened. allison got off pretty lucky, all things considered.)

klaus has been in and out community service for the past seven years. he's just looking for his next hit nowadays. ironic that he's not the one that got arrested for possession this time.

(maybe this lot will find him a bit less grating. it'd be nice to make some friends who aren't just around him to score drugs.)

five knows it was a stupid idea to burn the house down. he knows that. but he didn't think he had a choice at the time and he just needed everyone to leave him alone, okay? community service could be worse. he'll be obnoxious and bratty about it but he'll do the work and then he can... he'll figure some thing out. he will.

(in the meantime, at least the community centre is a good place to sleep. beats his current foster home by a mile.)

ben's working on the anger issues. he is. it's just sometimes he feels like if he doesn't break a table or two his whole chest is going to explode. well, at least it seems to be getting better now.

(oh, except for the part where he got murdered at sixteen, and is stuck haunting some useless junkie. but it's mostly fine. at least his parents aren't upset about any of it.)

vanya's not talking about it. she doesn't even want to think about why she's here. and she'd appreciate it if everyone else could stop staring at her like she's some kind of nutcase.

(maybe she is. maybe she is. she doesn't remember anything, so maybe she is.)

but it's just a week of community service. it'll be fine.

or at least it was gonna be before everyone (except diego) got superpowers from a freaky storm and ben got murdered and five did some murdering.

...fuck.

[mybeautifulbeautifuleternal]

i couldn’t utter it, i couldn’t whisper it (my love for you was silent); iii

Chapter Three - Bad Luck This Family Has

rating: its a gen fic for The Umbrella Academy

words:3.8k

chapter:3/10

First / Previous

warnings: canon typical for tua

AO3

a/n: I blame @sam-writes​ for pretty much all of this!

Summary: In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end well.

Vanya was heading home from practice — still riding the high she got from the successful run from today’s piece. She was crossing the street on her last leg of the journey when the window display from the bookstore caught her attention. It wasn’t the Umbrella Academy Comics - she had seen them all when they first came out — they weren’t all that special really.

No — what had caught her attention was the bright red typewriter sitting above them. It was an idea that had been brewing in her mind for a while — something her therapist had said to her.

And seeing it sit above the stories of her siblings — she decided she was going to do it. She was going to tell the world her story. She wanted to finally be heard.

*

Charlie was laughing at Zara, a common occurrence nowadays, when the bookstore caught her attention. She paused her walking, allowing Zara to outpace her for a moment before he doubled back.

Vanya’s young face stared back her from a hundred copies of a book — that she apparently wrote.

Charlie stepped inside the store and bought four — she’d drop off ones for her brothers before she went home for the evening to start reading her own.

*

Charlie ended up throwing the book across her apartment. How dare Vanya write that that that awful crap! She had dug deep into their childhood and had thrown every dirty little secret that the Academy had to the wolves.  

The only things that weren’t in her little book were the things that she didn’t know — mission statements and one on one conversations. But all the little tortures from their childhoods — the casual cruelties — were now being read by anyone who picked up a copy of her book.

All of the ways dad used to train them, the ways he’d set them up against each other, the way he was never actually proud of them regardless of the show he’d put on for the cameras…

But how was Vanya to know about any of that…she had never been included enough to know that dad was a massive dick, even to his supposed favorites.

The more that Charlie thought about it, the more she realized she couldn’t actually be mad at her sister. The Academy had almost 10 years of the spotlight but Vanya was always in the shadows. She had no way of actually knowing the damage she was doing.

It didn’t make anything she wrote any better but Charlie knew she’d reserve judgment till after she’d talk to her.

She owed it to her sister — even if they weren’t giving the same courtesy.

She just hoped she could talk some sense into her brothers — they weren’t going to like any of this.

*

Charlie woke up to the sun streaming across her face from her living room. She had stayed up late waiting for Five — she needed him to catch her up and his plan for the End. It seemed like she fell asleep on her couch waiting for him to come home. She wasn’t surprised — the couch was comfortable and she felt safe with the Green around her.

She stretched on the couch a little more and settled in. She didn’t feel like getting up right away. As she closed her eyes, she angled her body to get some more sunshine, allowing it to warm her to her bones. As she did, she smiled a little. It was a small joke from their childhood — that Charlie could be nourished by the sunlight like her plants were.

Mom had told her she just had poor circulation so she was always a little colder than her siblings. Charlie had solved that issue by staying in the sunshine whenever she could — and when her siblings found it funny, she leaned into it. It was just a small thing but it made her siblings happy. She’d do anything to make them happy.

Eventually, she gave a deep sigh and heaved herself from her spot. She knew she would have a busy day and needed to get a start on it. As she was getting her breakfast ready for the day, she frowned out the window - she didn’t think it was supposed to rain today but the weather forecast had been wrong all week.

As she locked up her apartment, she went down to the main floor to gather some food. If she knew Five at all, he would be running on almost empty and while dad had prepared them to fight in sub-optimal conditions like that — he was now dead and couldn’t control them anymore. She went into the back room and grabbed a backpack from her Homeless Bags, shoving some children’s clothes for Five. She’d never tell him that they came from the kids’ section of the store but they’d be the only ones that would fit.

It was completely ridiculous that he was still running around in the Academy uniforms. Charlie knew that only Luther still kept his — the rest had destroyed them on their way out the door.

She brought the bag back out to the Tree and filled up the empty space with baggies of nuts and some loose apples and carrots. They were Five’s favorite when they were kids and she hoped he hadn’t changed enough that he wouldn’t eat them now.

Finally packed with everything she thought she’d need for a day of dealing with Hargreeves Family Bullshit, Charlie left the Flower Shop to track down Five.

*

Allison was frowning down at her plate. After her discovery the night before, she and Luther spent most of the night going over the tape again and again and again. She was tired of trying to find ways to either blame Mom for what happened to Dad or to absolve her of her actions.

They had left the security room to find Mom, trying to get some answers about that night.

And Mom couldn’t give them any of the answers they needed. Instead, she was more focused on making them so breakfast - which looked delicious.

“We need a family meeting. We need to decide what to do with Grace.�� Luther interrupted her thoughts.

“With Mom.”

Luther sighed but agreed, “with Mom.”

“Well, you can collect our brothers and I’ll gather our sisters.”

“Why do you get the easy job?” Luther was almost whining and Allison didn’t blame him but no way was she going to try to track down their brothers if had a different option.

He shut up quickly at her look.

“I guess I’ll be looking for our brothers. Any suggestions on where to start?”

“Well Five did stay here last night and I think Klaus might have as well. So 2 out of 3?”

He just sighed again. She laughed at him but didn’t offer to go after them herself. She was going to enjoy the time she had with her sisters this morning —  much less annoying.

*

“Do you seriously still not understand the chain of custody? If you touch it, I can’t use it.”

Diego smiled to himself just the smallest bit. As much as he loved helping people, Eudora made his day so much better whenever she appeared — even if it was only to yell at him.

The smile fell off his lips at the sight of the bullet though — that particular kind was manufactured in the 1960s so he was confused why it was in a recent shootout in 2019.

He lifted his hands to show off the gloves he carries with him — Diego didn’t like the Police Academy, but he remembered much of the policies and procedures they had drilled into his head. And he made sure to follow them whenever he was working closely with the police. He didn’t want to ruin Eudora’s career as much as he believed she’d like it so much more doing it his way.

“Let me save you some time running ballistics. These nine-millimeters haven’t been manufactured since 19-”

“1963. Odd, I know. Matching casings were found at a murder scene last night. Ishmael’s Towing.”

Diego followed Eudora as she started to move away from the crime scene, focusing on what she was saying.

“The driver?”

“Found him hanging from the ceiling. Looks like he must have known something after all.”

“It’s a shame nobody told you to go talk to him,” Diego tried not to brag too much but it was hard not to sometimes. He knew that the driver would have important information and he had told her as such — if only they would listen to him occasionally. He smirked at Eudora’s look of irritation.

“In the span of 24 hours, I’ve had attacks in three different places across town. Whatever this is, whoever this is, they’re not slowing down. So, if you really give a shit and you’ve got any fresh ideas, I’m all ears.”

Diego had to give her a fond look at that. He loved her for her heart. She adored the city so much she’d ask him for help — even if he didn’t follow the rules.

“The guy’s kid, in the doughnut shop?”

“I’ve got units tracking the extended family in case anyone goes after him.”

“Well, this place must have surveillance footage.”

“No, it doesn’t exist. The first unit on the scene clocked two shooters fleeing the premises, wearing, get this creepy kids’ masks.” Eudora sounded completely done with the case.

Diego gave a deep sigh. He didn’t know when the city decided to go completely crazy but he was worried. He wondered how much extra time it would take if he added Charlie’s shop and Vanya’s apartment to his route. The rest of his siblings were staying at the Mansion and were protected there but not his sisters. He absentmindedly decided to do a daytime run of the path as he answered Eudora’s non-question.

“This city is really going to shit, huh?”

*

Five grimaced as he ran the needle through his arm. He couldn’t believe that he let those two get the jump on him like that. He really was getting old if Hazel and Cha-Cha got the better of him. And of course, the only band-aids that were in the house had childish trains on them. Trains! Of all things.

6 more days then he’d be dead or drunk.

He wiped the blood off his wound, dressed once more in the awful Academy uniform, finished packing his back, and opened his window. Normally he’d either Jump or take the front door, but he needed to conserve his energy and that meant no Jumping or aggravating talks with his siblings. He just knew that they’d have a load of stupid questions for him that he didn’t have the time to answer them.

Of course, it was his luck that Klaus was dumps- dumpster diving?!? Why was this his life and why did he want to come back and save his siblings again?

A flash of Luther’s hand outstretched to pull him up; the glint of Diego’s knives killing the men attacking him; the feeling of Allison holding him up when his repeating Jumps left him weak; Klaus’ babbling a comforting background noise; he and Ben curled up in the library together; the flicker of Vanya’s uncertain smile; the sight of raspberries growing up between his bed and the wall when Dad was being stingy with the food as a lesson.

He sighed deeply. He could try lying to himself all that he wanted to but of course, he was going come back for them. They were the only things that kept him going all those years.

He ignored that thought — again — and proceeded to ignore Klaus’ inane muttering as well. Five didn’t have time for him right now.

“I’d ask what you’re up to, Klaus, but then it occurred to me…I don’t care.”

“Hey!” Klaus laughed as he moved to the edge of his dumpster, “you know there are easier ways out of the house buddy?”

“This one involved the least amount of talking. Or so I thought.”

“Hey, hey, hey, so…You need any more company today? I could, uh…clear my schedule.”

“Looks like you’ve got your hands full.”

“Oh, this? No, no. I can do this whenever. I’m just-”

Five rolled his eyes when Klaus slipped and fell back into the trash.

“I just misplaced something. That’s all,” Klaus’ voice echoed out from the dumpster. “Oh! Found it! Thank God!”

Five grimaced slightly as he watched Klaus take a bite of a half-eaten bagel. He was completely certain that that bagel wasn’t Klaus’. He couldn’t say too much, however. He’d eaten much worse in the apocalypse.

He had saved Charlie’s food for as long as he could — her fruits and vegetables always lasted longer than normal — but eventually, he finished them and had to struggle to find food.

Now, though? Klaus had the option to not eat that but decided to do so anyway.

“Delicious.”

“I’m done funding your drug habit.”

With that, he turned and walked away. He didn’t need Klaus for what he had planned for today and he knew that Klaus had the singular habit of extending conversations to longer then they needed to be.

As he walked down the alley, he spotted a large van parked at the end. That was exactly what he needed.

He thought about picking Charlie up as he started the engine and made his way out of the alley — he wanted some intelligent conversation and maybe a second set of eyes.

*

Klaus ignored Ben’s judgmental stare boring a hole in the side of his head as he spat out the bite of bagel he’d taken. He’d had enough of that through the years that it was second nature.

What wasn’t second nature was ignoring the peach growing into existence right in front of him.

He beamed though! Only one person could do that and right now she was his favorite sibling. He turned and spotted her coming down the alley from the opposite direction cranky Five had left in.

“Schwester! Beloved Charlie, you’ve blessed me with a delicious peach but do you think I could get some apples as well? I’ve been having the craziest cravings for them lately and-”

His sentence was cut off when Charlie, the darling dear, grew some apples and shoved one in his mouth. He just took a bite from it, chewed, and swallowed. He may not have been the smartest of the bunch but he knew better than to anger Charlie girl. He remembered Spring of ‘03. Plus he wasn’t going to waste an apple. He hadn’t been lying when he said he was really craving one. He packed up all the newly grown fruit and stored it away in his various pockets. He wasn’t going to waste any of the food that she grew — she had a talent for it, after all the practice she had when they were young.

As he was chewing, he flapped his ‘hello’ hand at her and felt warm when she repeated the gesture.

“As much as I love you dear schwester, I can probably guess you’re looking for snarky little Five?”

When she nodded, Ben’s comment of “why isn’t she actually talking? I haven’t heard a word from her yet,” was only barely heard as he gave Charlie directions on where their smallest brother left to.

When she left to follow Five, she first leaned over and gave him a faint kiss on the cheek.

What a treasure she was. He finished up the apple and turned to continue his dumpster dive.

He had to find that stupid book.

*

Five made it to the end of the next block before the passenger side door was opened and a bag was tossed at him. He had spotted Charlie’s distinctive hair when he glanced right earlier so he was too worried about what was in the bag but he still winced a little when it hit him. He reached into the bag as he made a right turn and laughed a little when he grabbed an apple. He shot Charlie a glance and a small smile, which she returned before he focused again on the road. He wasn’t going to try having a conversation with her until he could give her his full attention.

As he pulled up across from Meritech, he sat back a little in his seat and fully opened up the backpack. It was stuffed full of easy to eat food that Charlie had Grown for him as well as a change of clothing in his size.

“Trying to tell me something?”

Just that you look like an idiot roaming about in that stupid Academy uniform.

“Well tell me what you really think, then.”

Tell me what to watch for and go change in the back.

He made sure she could see him roll his eyes but started to tell her about Meritech and everything he had managed to find out about it yesterday. He was startled when he heard a croaking sound come from the front seat. His head popped out of the pullover and glanced at his sister. She was laughing. Huh. He finished changing, glad to be out of the uniform, ignoring the warm feeling that was growing in his chest.

They spent a couple of minutes catching each other up on what happened since he left her at the Academy when he left with Klaus before Charlie shifted to look fully at him. He gave her his attention and waited for what she had to say.

I’m gonna head home. There’s a couple of paperwork things that popped up yesterday that I need to deal with, then I might make my way back here or to the Academy. I have a feeling that the house is going to be the center for everything this week. Make sure you eat everything I packed for you, ok?

“You know I’m older than you right? Like decades older than you?”

Like that’s gonna stop me.

She reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze that he reciprocated before she left the van.

Five watched her walk away for a while before he once again focused on his mission. He would only admit it to himself but damn was he glad to be home.

*

Vanya didn’t really know what she was doing here — visiting Leonard at his store. Being with Leonard at all really. But as she gazed around at all the beautiful wood carvings, she gave a slight smile. They really were gorgeous. She took a closer look at the smaller figurines he had placed on the shelves.

One of them took her back to her childhood. It was a small bench with some flowers placed at the base of it — it was nothing too special but it reminded her strongly of some of the happiest days she could remember.

Charlie was always found outside, whenever she had the chance. Mom had even joked sometimes that Charlie was more plant-like then they thought — that she could gain her energy from the sun in the same way her beloved plants could. The seven of them laughed at that a little but it was true. She was at her happiest when she was outside surrounded by the Green she grew and the sun that nourished them.

The one memory Vanya was thinking of though — it was all of them outside. They were probably thirteen years old and Dad was away on a business trip — he’d even taken Pogo with him so it was just the eight kids and Mom. They had free run of the house and light schooling, no training to speak of. That particular day, Vanya remembered, it was blue skies and sunshine. It was special because the rest of the week it had been pouring buckets — they had been stuck inside and left to entertain themselves with what they could find in the various corners and cracks that the mansion had. But that day; the sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, and the birds were singing. Mom had let them sleep in and had agreed to allow them to eat outside for both lunch and dinner.

And during the afternoon, Charlie had Grown the most beautiful garden the rest of them had ever seen. There were flowers bigger than her head with colors she didn’t think possible. And the smells! Oh, every next step brought a new smell and they were all glorious. Charlie had Grown the various flowers into amazing shapes and structures but Vanya’s favorite were the benches found right in the middle of the garden. Created from some sort of vines and trees, there were four of them big enough for three people each. Charlie had also grown their favorite fruits and veggies, even branching into nuts, all over the backs of the benches so they could snack as much as they wanted too.

As much as Mom loved them, she had a strict order to not feed them too much. But with Dad and Pogo gone, Mom had taken to turning the other way so she never saw it when Charlie Grew them more and more treats to eat.

The eight of them had laughed and played and joked with each other all day, showing off their powers — they’d even convinced her to bring down her violin to play for them. Vanya knew she wasn’t very good yet, not at that age and only having been playing for a couple of months but when she played that afternoon…she was on top of the world. It was the best concert she’d ever given and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to top it.

They had fallen asleep outside that night, under the stars with blankets made of grass, curled up together.

It was one of Vanya’s most cherished memories — she didn’t even place it in her book; she didn’t want anybody to be able to ruin it.

And one little wood carving managed to bring back that sense of happiness and contentedness that had been missing from her life — only weeks later Five disappeared and the home felt a little more like a house.

She left Leonard’s shop that day with the little violin player and the garden bench.

[evesbeve]

(1/?) *cracks knuckles* ok so like what if Ben just high-key? disappeared. into the horrors dimension. like he's not dead or anything but we know the horror is from another plane so like,, what if Ben just gets stuck there for a bit. but Reggie passes him as dead bc Reggie's an asshole. and Ben and five are "stuck in a hellscape" buddies

(this got a bit long so i put it under a cut but!! i hope you don’t mind me extending on this idea sjidfee ily)

When Five falls on his knees and catches a glimpse of the demon-looking portal, all he can think of is “that’s it. that’s it, i’ve done it, i’ve broken the universe, the equations were so wrong that the apocalypse is happening right the fuck now and—”

Then he sees Ben.

A second passes. Then two.

Five doesn’t remember much after that. All he knows is that none of this makes sense.

When Ben sees his family, he doesn’t cry. (Not right away at least. When he’s back in his childhood room, all by himself, a few tears roll down his cheeks. He’s made it back.)

The Horror’s realm has changed him. Made him stronger. Colder. He lets Klaus wrap an arm around him and Five, but can’t commit to more touchy stuff for now. It’s been so long.

He takes a shower. It’s been so long since he’s taken a proper shower, he feels as if he’s been reborn. He looks at his reflection; it’s the first time he sees himself clearly in a long time.

He wants to sit down, just take in the fact that he’s home, but he knows the Horror let him travel home for a reason. It was keeping him to his dimension to prepare him for whatever happens next.

He asks Five.

Five is hesitant at first, but then he thinks. What are the odds of Ben appearing out of nowhere on the same day as him? Five has lived long enough to know there is no such thing as luck.

He tells him. He tells him about the apocalypse, about how he found everyone’s bodies except his, about how he only has a week to stop it and his only lead is an eyeball. His voice cracks as he speaks, but Ben doesn’t judge him—he never has.

They look for the owner of the eyeball, but again, things such as luck don’t exist.

(Also. Ben is terrible at pretending to be a parent.)

The Commission comes after them. Five was expecting them, but not so soon. Apparently he’s been chipped, and somehow Ben convinces him to let Mom take care of it instead of taking out the tracker himself. They know where he lives now.

Ben can’t help but keep track of his siblings. He has to make sure that everyone is there, that everyone is safe. A day after the attack, he’s not so sure that is true.

Klaus is nowhere to be seen.

The others reassure him that it’s always like that; Klaus comes and goes. Ben remembers how Klaus would sneak out every night, but he’s not convinced. Something’s wrong.

Five says there’s not enough time to look. He leaves to look for the eyeball’s owner again, and Ben decides to follow his hunch.

It’s then that he sees Mom.

Her body is lifelessly lying on the chair she charges in, and Pogo is trying to wire her back together. Ben should probably say something, but all words have left him. He can’t imagine what Diego—

That’s it. Diego.

By some sort of miracle, he runs into Numbers Two and One in Five’s room. They’re fighting, just like they used to, and Ben walks in just before things get heated. Well. More heated.

“I need your help to find Klaus.”

Five’s only lead is gone in a flash of red. A lot of red. An explosion, a fire. He thinks of finding Ben, but he remembers he’s looking for Klaus, so he goes after Vanya instead. He still hasn’t talked to her.

She’s not home, so he waits till she gets back. In the end, she appears with Allison. They briefly talk about some guy Vanya has been seeing, but Five doesn’t have time.

He tells them both about what’s to come.

In the meantime, Luther, Diego and Ben spend their day looking for Klaus. They go to every bar in town, but there’s no sign of him. They go to the library at some point, in case Five’s there, and Diego asks him if he’s read Vanya’s book.

“Vanya’s what now?”

“Her book.”

“She wrote a book?”

“If you can even call it that.”

Ben can hardly believe the things his sister, his best friend, wrote about everyone. Luther and Diego bash on it with such passion, Ben has never seen them agree about something so much.

When they reach Diego’s “apartment”, Diego hands him his cover-less copy, and Ben reads.

Allison and Vanya don’t believe him at first. Five shouldn’t have been surprised, but he’s boiling in rage and fear.

“If Ben came back, why is that so impossible to believe?”

The two sisters look at each other for a second. Whatever mental communication has been made, it’s in Five’s favor, because Vanya reaches for the phone and calls the academy, only to be told that no one’s there.

She calls Diego.

If it hadn’t been for the knock on Diego’s door, Ben would have probably… He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why Vanya wrote all these things, he doesn’t know how—

The man tells them that Diego had not one, but two phone calls.

The first one’s from Vanya—speak of the devil—asking them where they are. The second one’s from a cop. Diego’s friend, girlfriend, whatever. She called seconds after Vanya, only five minutes ago.

She’s found Klaus.

Five is never, ever, using his powers to space jump so far away with two other people. He’s not surprised when they reach the motel Diego told them about first, but they decide to wait. A few minutes later, the others are there.

“Where the fuck is Eudora?”

They don’t have time to come up with a plan, so it’s chaos. Vanya stays back with Luther, in case they come for the car. Everyone else makes their way upstairs, and they run into a very scared employee, which tells them more than they need to know.

Ahead of them, Eudora Patch is about to open the door.

Her and Diego go in. The others are hiding nearby. Five knows Hazel and Cha-Cha, so he’s waiting for the ambush.

Soon enough, Cha-Cha appears behind them, and just as she’s about to take the shot, Ben releases the Horror.

It’s odd; Ben doesn’t look in pain as he does it, and it only lasts a few seconds, just enough for a tentacle to spear through Cha-Cha’s body. The Horror slides back in Ben’s stomach like it was nothing.

Whatever happened in its dimension, it changed Ben.

They all go in the hotel room. For a second, Ben wants to release the Horror again, to attack the man Diego has pinned down, to finish the job, to let them have another taste for blood—

He is snapped back into reality when he hears Klaus whimper. He looks like shit, and he’s holding onto a briefcase as if his life depends on it. Allison holds him in her arms, and before they know it, they’re laughing again.

“We should check on Vanya,” Allison says, and lets go of Klaus.

Klaus takes a better look at the briefcase. “I wonder what’s in it.”

“KLAUS, NO—”

It’s too late.

A lot has happened in the past twenty-four hours.

For once, Cha-Cha is dead. They have Hazel hostage, locked in an underground cage that Dad had for some reason. Five doesn’t have the energy to ask, because Klaus is gone. With the briefcase.

Somehow, he manages to fall asleep. (More like pass out in front of the cage, but whatever.)

Vanya is fidgeting.

Ben notices immediately, because Vanya never used to fidget. She was always so calm, so contained. This only ever happened when she ran out of pills.

Turns out, she actually had. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem; she’d call at the Academy and have them in a day, but Vanya claims she had not, in fact, ran out. She would have noticed. That, and there’s an audition for first chair at her orchestra, and she really wants to go.

Allison offers to drive her. After all, there’s nothing better to do while they wait for Klaus to magically show up. Or for Five to wake up. Or for their hostage to speak.

Ben’s kind of impressed with the whole plan. He had no idea Dad had built an entire underground cage after Ben disappeared. Whatever the use of it was, Ben has a feeling this is all going to work out.

Only that Dad didn’t build this while Ben was gone, Luther notes. No one in the house seems to know about it, except for Pogo, who led them there. Whatever. They can worry about that later.

Klaus shows up.

He’s covered in blood, and he looks more tired than ever. He keeps ignoring everyone instead of shaking them off like he usually does. Whenever he went, it wasn’t good.

Time be damned, because three seconds later Vanya and Allison return, and Vanya announces that she got first chair with the brightest of smiles. Allison looks worried.

What the fuck is happening.

Five wakes up to chaos.

For starters, Klaus is back, but with no briefcase, as he learns soon enough.

His siblings are arguing about something.

“… can’t be…”

“… sure about…”

“… powers, I don’t have…”

“… makes no sense!”

Five shakes his head and stands up, taking a good look of the room. Luther is standing up, Allison is holding Vanya’s hand, and Pogo looks in distress. Klaus, Diego and Ben are nowhere to be seen.

“What is going on?” Five asks.

“Vanya has powers.”

“What?”

The moment Ben sees Five’s eyes blink open, he slips away from the living room. He knows another fuss is about to be made as Allison explains the way a tiny energy field spread around Vanya during her audition. And then, Pogo will have to explain the truth to them about her, about Dad’s death, once again.

Now he’s sitting in his room, head against the wall, listening to Diego and Klaus’ talk from the attic. He’s not eavesdroping; just listening to their mumbled voices.

Diego leaves, at some point, an angry look on his face, but he stops when he sees Ben’s door open.

“Hey,” Ben says, and Diego enters without a second word.

They stay quiet for a while. It’s like they’re trying to take in one another’s presence.

“We thought you died,” Diego says after a while.

Ben can’t help but chuckle. “Would you believe me if I said I thought so too?”

Talking comes more natural after that. Diego thanks him for convincing him to look for Klaus, for helping him save Eudora. Apparently they’ve been on the phone a lot since last night.

For the first time since he came back, Ben explains in detail what happened to him in the Horror’s dimension. How even though he was lonely, he was never truly alone. How even though he was far from home, he felt as if he belonged in that realm, in a way. Diego listens and hums, the way he always does when he’s spoken to.

They talk about Klaus. About how lonely it must have felt to be trapped all by himself in the Vietnam war, about how proud of him they are for trying to fight the ghosts to see Dave again. They’ll help him. They have to.

At some point, Vanya freezes.

Specifically when Pogo brings up the cage again. It’s like she’s recalling a memory, one that Allison seems to be remembering too. A power field surrounds Vanya, but it dies out as soon as it starts.

She asks for her pills. No one gives them to her.

It’s only then that it clicks. The places he found the bodies of his siblings, the Icarus Theater, Vanya’s concert…

Five rushes back to Hazel’s cage, Vanya’s cage, and sees the familiar tube in Hazel’s hand. He teleports inside the cage, grabs it from Hazel’s grip, and teleports back out.

Protect Harold Jenkins.

It only takes one quick jump to the police station and back to get his profile, and another conversation with his siblings to find out that he’s the man Vanya’s been seeing.

He runs up the stairs as quickly as possible, only to see Diego, Ben, Klaus in another man’s arms talking in the attic.

They turn to him, and Klaus has a bright smile on his face. “Mi hermano! Come meet my boyfriend—”

“No time,” Five interrupts. “Vanya causes the apocalypse.”

“… What.”

It takes some explaining, but Ben thinks he’s finally got it. This Leonard Peabody, or Harold Jenkins, or whatever, somehow got his hands on their father’s journal, thus finding out Vanya has powers.

Vanya. Powers.

Ben still can’t wrap his head around it.

Diego calls Eudora, and she arrests Jenkins immediately.

They release Hazel from the cage, and he’s more than happy to help them take down the Commission. Apparently he’s had his fair share of bullshit to want to destroy the place for good.

Ben sits on the couch, taking in a deep breath. Soon enough, Five joins him.

“This went better than expected,” Five comments.

Ben looks around the house. It looks like a mess, but at least everyone has made it out okay. Even Mom is walking on her feet again.

He turns to his brother. “We got fucking lucky.”

Five has never agreed more to anything in his life.

[nancywheelxr]

Diego being his self destructive self and his siblings being like buddy no and sitting down and forcing him to talk with them

When Diego walks into the living room and sees all his siblings standing in the middle of the living room like a freaking start of a slasher movie and the giant ass banner across the room with the words INTERVENTION! written haphazardly on it in the worst chicken scratch he’s ever seen, Diego nearly walks right back out.

In fact, the only reason he doesn’t is because Five jumps on his way, blocking the door.

Which, by the way, rude.

“What the fuck,” he says, with feeling, and scowls.

“I told you the banner was a bad idea,” Luther sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose like suddenly, he’s the one tired with the bullshit. Please.

Klaus elbows him none-too-subtly. “United front,” he hisses, then, turning back to Diego, “we just want to talk.”

“Yes,” Allison nods, smiles beatifically at him, “this is a safe space.”

“I tried to stop them,” Vanya offers him a sympathetic smile.

“And I’m being paid to be here,” Five pipes up from behind him.

“Yeah, I’m going to have to say no,” Diego tells them with fake pleasantness and tries to go for the stairs. They all move at once, blocking the other exit like they don’t know he’s this close of becoming the slasher in this horror movie. “Again, what the fuck.”

“We just wanna talk,” Klaus whines again, “look, we all noticed you’ve been brooding-er than usual, okay? Like, I don’t think I’ve seen you without a bruise and or internal bleeding for like, weeks.”

“This is just not healthy,” Allison shakes her head, giving him that I’m concerned with you look she has down to a T. “We’re worried, Diego.”

“So we all thought,” Luther says, glaring briefly at the others, “it would be good for you to talk about it. Express yourself,” he adds helpfully.

“I suggested therapy,” Vanya sighs the sigh of the defeated and resigned to shenanigans. “But talking is good too, you know. It helps.”

“Far from me to offer some hippie advice,” Five starts, runs a hand through his hair, looking uncomfortable, “but they are right. Nothing good will come from this path you’re in right now.”

Diego looks at them, really looks at them, and takes in the real concern hiding beneath each of their facades. It’s been-- he thinks the Apocalypse was the last time they all worked together to do something like this. Despite his better judgment, he feels himself swaying.

“Do I even have a choice on this?”

Sensing the inch, Klaus grins, ready to take a mile. “Not really, no, so I’d suggest you sit down and make yourself comfortable.”

“I don’t like this.”

“You don’t have to like,” Allison shrugs, all business and no sugar coating it, “you just have to admit it will be good for you.”

With a long-suffering sigh and feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, really, Diego drops on the couch, elbows on his knees and head on his hands. “I hate all of you.”

“We know,” Vanya says, sitting down beside him and patting him gently on the back.

If he’s being honest, lately, now that there’s no apocalypse, no time travel, no imminent disaster looming in the near future, Diego has found that it’s harder to keep shit a bay. Shit like how much he fucking misses Eudora, or all the memories this house brings, or how he has no idea of what to do with his life, how to be a normal human being. 

So yeah, it’s been generally harder and Diego has been relying on his job as a vigilant to keep himself distracted but even he can see there’s no way to keep it up for much longer. His knuckles never seem to heal anymore-- there are only bruises on top of bruises on top of bruises.

Maybe Allison is right-- Diego doesn’t have to like it, or even believe in it, but giving this talking bullshit a shot is worth for their peace of mind, if nothing else.

[umbrellaacademyblog]

1 from whump dialogue prompts, diego to klaus

Hey Guys. I know I was gone for a really long time but I was logged out of my account! I couldn’t remember the password or anything turns out I was using the wrong email. But I’m back and I’ve had this one ready for a while so here it is!

1: “H-hold on, t-t-they’re c-coming, okay?”

Diego carefully and quietly eased his way up the stairs, motioning to Luther to stay quiet. He softly grabbed the doorknob and quickly swung open the door.

“You throw another one of those goddamn knives at me, I’m pressin’ charges.” Diego rolled his eyes and pocketed his knife.“What do you want, Al?”

 “I ain’t your secretary,” Al answered grumpily as he walked completely into the room.“Yeah.”“Some lady called for you, said she needs your help.” Diego walked steadily down the stairs.“What lady?” 

“I dunno. Some, uh, detective.” Diego stopped at the base of the stairs and turned to Al. “I think she said her name was, uh, Blotch or somethin’.”“Patch?” Al shrugged “She needs my help.” Diego concluded starting back up the stairs. “She needs you to meet her at that motel, a dump on Calhoun.” “When?” 

“About half an hour ago.” Al handed Diego a paper and started walking away. “Uh, said she found your brother.”Diego glanced at Five who was still passed out on the couch. “Well, that doesn’t make sense.”Diego and Luther met eyes as remembered the last Hargreeves brother left.

“Klaus.” Diego ran out of the door, rushing to save Klaus and Eudora.

Diego arrived at the hotel rushing into the lobby to find an impatient Detective pacing back and forth.

“It’s about time! You’d think your response time would be better, considering.”

Diego sighed a breath of relief as he grabbed a knife from his pockets.

“So?” Diego started grinning ear to ear, “we doing this my way?”

“No, we are doing this MY way,” Eudora corrected, “but I need your help.”

Eudora headed out the door and Diego followed behind.

“You telling me my brother is in this crappy hotel?” Diego asked examining the old walls.

“I think he was taken by the same people who attacked you,”

Guilt immediately washed over Diego. He hadn’t even noticed that Klaus was missing.

What had they done to him during this time? How long had he actually been gone?

Eudora stopped at a maid cart and flashed her badge, grabbing a key.

“When we get to the room I need you to go in first.” Eudora ordered.

“You have any idea where he is?” Diego asked.

“No, but do not disturb signs out, windows drawn, suspicious activity, anything that doesn’t draw attention, that’s how we’ll find him.”,

“Great you just described like half of the people here,” Diego added, softly touching a nearby do not disturb sign.

Eudora opened her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by a gunshot nearby.

Diego’s legs sprung into action, running towards the gunshot instead of away.

A hotel door flung open and two people ran out, running away from Diego and Eudora.

Part of Diego wanted to chase them down and make them pay for all the trouble they had caused his family. But Klaus wasn’t with them, and the sinking feeling in Diego’s gut grew.

“Patch, follow them!” Diego ordered as he broke off into their hotel room.

“Diego?” He heard a soft, weak voice croak. It was Klaus, battered and bleeding, tied down to a wooden chair, barely covered by a towel that was no longer white.

“Oh, Shit!” Diego dropped his knife and ran to examine his brother. Blood spilled, lining the towel and Klaus’ shoulder. Diego scrambled to make the bleeding stop.“Oh G-god Klaus, what happened?”

“They want Five!” Klaus croaked, weakly coughing. “You have to get to him before they do!”

Diego clumsily untied Klaus’ arms and legs and pulled him slowly down to the ground. “We g-got him, he’s s-s-safe. L-Lut-her has him.”

“They’ve killed a lot of people Diego,” Klaus whispered, looking at the empty spaces behind Diego.

“Klaus, I’m s-sorry I didn’t c-come soon-n-er.” Diego grabbed part of the towel and pressed it against the fresh bullet hole. Police sirens were faintly heard in the distance and Diego let himself have hope.

“H-Hold on, t-t-they’re coming, okay?” Diego comforted, putting pressure on the wound.

“Nah, It was a matter of time,” Klaus said blinking slowly.

“Don’t say that!” Diego ordered, cursing as more blood filled the towel. “I’m n-not losing an-nother brother.”

Klaus chuckled softly slurring his words. “Youall thought I’ould overdose!”.

Diego shook Klaus’ head as his head rolled softly to the side. “Klaus s-stay with me!”

“‘m not gone yet,” Klaus answered weakly. The sirens grew louder and red and blue lights flashed through the window.

“Klaus just a l-lit-tle long-er” Diego urged desperately clinging to his brother.

No response came and Diego forgot to breathe. Police officers flew into the room, demanding that Diego stepped away. Diego’s legs moved without him wanting them to. His eyes locked onto his brothers motionless body.

“T-th. I-It’s” Diego stuttered, not able to communicate with the officers around him.

“Put your hands where I can see them!” An officer ordered. Diego did as he was told, still struggling to speak.

Paramedics ran in after and hastily attended to Klaus. Tears filled Diego’s eyes as his view was interrupted.

“What happened? What did you do?” The officer questioned.

“He-He’s” Diego tried to calm his breathing and focus on the words.

“Brother!” He blurted. The police officers seemed to understand.

“You didn’t do this did you?”

Diego shook his head, with his heart pounding in his chest. Officers pulled him away into the fresh air. His ears seemed to be ringing and he had to really focus on the officers words to understand him. 

“What were you doing here?” The officer questioned, when no response came he changed his question.

“Did you see what happened?”

Diego opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. The officer asked another question but Diego had become distracted by the head of the gurney hastily making its way out of the room.

The paramedics huddled around Klaus made it impossible to see him. Part of Diego was glad, he wasn’t ready to see that again. Then he felt selfish. You did this. You should look him in the eyes and accept it.

“I’m so sorry, Klaus” Diego whispered. “So, sorry,”

[not-looking-for-happy]

The Last Equation: Chapter 1 - The Beginning is Always the Hardest

Setting of the story: Parallel world of The Umbrella Academy right after the occurrence of the apocalypse in which Five managed to bring them back to the past 17 years ago in which they try to come up with a plan.

For a downloadable format, click here. 

Just when they thought they had managed to save the world, they can see massive rocks across the dark sky itching to touch the earth's ground.

"The Umbrella Academy... A total failure." Diego said in a sarcastic tone. Just thinking of his father's face mentioning those words makes him feel pathetic. He couldn't save Eudora. He couldn't save his mother right before his eyes. And even with his siblings' help, he couldn't save the world. Well? What difference does it make in saving two if they're just gonna die anyway?

Diego's thoughts were stopped abruptly as he hears Five speaks up.

"This doesn't have to be the end..." Five said as Luther, Diego, and Klaus give him a questioning glance.

Five proposes to time travel once again, but this time, together with his siblings. He's not sure if he can do it but there's no harm in trying because they are in a situation where the only option they can choose is to trust Five's judgment or be vaporized in a few seconds.

As they gather towards Five, they hold each others' hands and formed a circle. In just a few seconds, a blue light emerges above them. Five is shouting but they're not sure if it's due to the difficulty of what he's doing.

"Hold on! It's gonna get messy!" Five shouted as he holds more tightly to Diego's and Allison's hands. The first time he glanced at them, they are still the same 30-year old bunch of people he met a few days ago. The second time, he's now looking at the young faces they once have 17 years ago, or in his case, 45 years ago.

"It's working." Five thought to himself. And despite the fact that he's racking his brain's out to make the time travel work, he can't help but feel the sense of nostalgia running through his veins and tearing right through his heart. He missed them severely as he looks at his siblings, now back to their 13-year old bodies.

And then, few seconds right before the Icarus theater was engulfed in flames, the blue light disappears together with the siblings.

*******

In the next few seconds, everyone is at disarray. At first, they are holding to one another's hands and the next thing they knew, they are back to the courtyard where they previously held their father's memorial service. They seem not to remember anything about the time travel experience. All they can remember is the pain it left into their bodies. Also, the fact that they wouldn't want to do it again.

Allison struggles to stand as she tries to search for her other siblings, Vanya, especially. Her brain is killing her but it does not stop her from trying to stand just so she can make sure that everyone made it safely to where she is now. As she looks to her right side, she can see Vanya, still unconscious and being held by Luther. This time, however, Vanya looks exactly how she was when she was 13 and also Luther. At least, in this timeline, Luther's body is still normal. She makes her way to Vanya as she calls her name and Luther seems to have noticed that Allison is already awake.

"Vanya!" Allison called for her sister as she puts her in her arms noticing that she is now a 13-year old too. It's a bit late, but she notices that she can speak now.

"She's okay, I guess," Luther said while stroking Vanya's hair. "She just needs some rest considering.. how she just blew up the moon a few minutes ago," he added while trying to be cautious in his words as he gives Allison a faint smile. She looks up at Luther and agrees with a small nod, Vanya still clutched tightly in her arms.

"I think, maybe we should get her to the clinic and have mom take a look at..." Luther was about to suggest but was stopped as they heard Diego and Klaus' voice from behind.

"Shit!" both Diego and Klaus exclaimed as they move closer to where a seemingly familiar body is lying unconscious too.

Luther was about to stand but he hesitates as he looks at Vanya, then to Allison. After all that happened, he still can't forget the fact that Vanya accidentally slit Allison's throat.

"It's okay. I got this. You go check on the others." Allison said.

By the time Luther arrives at the location where Five was lying unconscious, Diego has already placed Five around his arms, not even noticing that they are back to their 13-year old bodies. Klaus looks very shocked to see Five like this. His condition is almost the same whenever their abusive dear old dad would train Five non-stop using his spatial jumps until he's satisfied. Only this time, he looks worse, and yes, he still looks like a 13-year old boy. Blood was gushing through his nose and there seems to be blood too behind his mouth, Klaus could tell just by looking.

"Hey. Hey, Five. You okay, buddy?" Diego said while trying to shake Five's body wishing it would be enough to wake him up.

Luther and Klaus are still gathered around Diego and Five until they noticed Five's hand flinched at Diego's touch on his face.

In just a few seconds, Five opened his eyes, but still unfocused.

"Hey, buddy," Klaus said trying to get Five's attention as he seems not fully aware of his surroundings. "Look at me," Klaus continued. His voice was soothing and it seems to help Five as he's now trying to search for the owner of the voice.

Five and Klaus's eyes met. Klaus felt a pang of guilt in his gut as he looks at his very-pale-yet-not-dead brother.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this pain just to bring us all back here. But you're safe now. We're all safe. You made it Five. We all made it." Klaus said as he holds Five's hands in his.

Five seems to have understood Klaus' words. He was about to say something when he felt a sudden pain as he tries to get away from Diego. He felt his hand let go of Klaus' hand as it touches the ground and his other hand covers his mouth. Blood was seeping through his hands as he coughs up more blood. Diego was shocked but he managed to calm himself when Klaus moved forward to hold Five, his hands caressing his back.

"We need Mom," Diego suggested while looking at Klaus and Luther.

Luther nodded as he moves closer to Five. He can see that Five is still in pain.

"You may not like this, Five, but I'll be carrying you," Luther said.

Five didn't say a single word and Luther takes it as a yes. He carries Five with the utmost care and instructs Diego and Klaus to help Allison in carrying Vanya. Judging by Five's expression, his whole body is in pain. Also, he looks totally exhausted, which is an understatement because Luther looks like he's carrying a ghost. Five is so pale that they might have thought he's dead had he not opened his eyes.

As they make their way through the doorway, they are greeted by a boy. A boy they haven't met for a long time. They are all startled as if they saw a ghost.

"Guys!" Ben shouted at his siblings looking at him in a daze. "We don't have time for this." Ben thought to himself. Apparently, it was Ben who first gained consciousness the first second they arrived and took it upon himself to call for their mother when he noticed Five and Vanya's state. Unlike his siblings, he did not feel any sort of pain when they time traveled, only this fleeting feeling like he's floating in space as he continues to travel back in time. Guess there's that one advantage of being a ghost: time travel is safe if you're just a soul!

Aside from Five, it's Ben who has some decent way of thinking. This is also one of the reasons why Five is fond of him compared to the rest of his siblings. Before dashing back to the courtyard, he makes sure to check two more things. One, the exact date and time of their arrival. And two, their father's whereabouts. He does not know if Five was able to calculate the exact time that they must arrive into because everything seems convenient. They arrived on the day before Five disappeared and at this exact moment of time, their father is all cooped up in his own room and no further training will be conducted today.

"I know you have a lot of questions but that can be answered at a later time. We need to bring Five and Vanya to the clinic. I already told Mom and informed her to prepare two sets of beds." Ben exclaimed just so someone could break the uncomfortable silence radiating in the courtyard.

All of them, excluding Five and Vanya, nod in agreement as they went past Ben. He was about to follow when he finds himself face to face with Diego.

"I'm glad you made it," Diego said as he tapped Ben's shoulder to which Ben just gives a faint smile.

"Yeah, I am too," Ben said as he motions to Diego so they can catch up with the rest.

*******

What feels like forever finally ended. Five and Vanya are now well rested in their own bedrooms and the rest of the siblings are standing at the corridor. None of them are speaking. Luckily, their mother did not ask for further questions as to what happened to Five and Vanya. They can simply make an excuse for Five that he overdid himself by repeatedly doing spatial jumps non-stop. Although, that will make him look stupid. As for Vanya, they can't come up with any excuse. She's not undergoing through training so there's no reason for her to suddenly lost consciousness.

It takes five minutes before someone finally speaks.

"So... what's the next plan?" Klaus asked as he looked at them.

At the Icarus theater, they agreed with Five to go back to the past just so they can change it but he did not provide any specifics, except to "fix" Vanya but that appears to be a vague plan too. What part of her needs fixing? Where do they start?

Luther is about to open his mouth but decides not to speak. He's still bothered by the fact that the previous decision that he made for the group somehow contributed to the apocalypse.

Ben, who's always observant of his surroundings notices Luther's hesitation. The benefit of being a ghost: you can't speak freely, but you can observe almost anyone without telling you to back off.

"I think it's best to make a specific plan when Five and Vanya wake up. Besides, no one must notice that we're not our actual selves. We must proceed with caution. Right now, Five's former organization is not aware that we're still alive but it might not be long before they noticed." Ben suggested.

"I agree with Ben. The last time we made decisions, someone is missing, so..." Diego agreed as he looked at Luther, Klaus, and Allison.

"That's fine with me." Allison seconded while Klaus and Luther just nod silently.

"For now, I'll be at Vanya's room. Let me know if Five wakes up." Allison requested as she leaves her brothers.

Luther wants to stop her from doing so but he sensed how worried Allison is over Vanya so he just let her be.

"I'll go check on dad. See if he noticed that there's something different upon our arrival." Luther said deciding it's best to do something than nothing at all.

"I'll go check mom. And if we're lucky, maybe I can convince her not to tell the old man about any of this." Diego said.

"Klaus, come with me. We'll check on Five." Ben said is he drags Klaus towards him. Klaus is not saying anything but he can absolutely tell that he is worried about Five. Among the siblings, it's Ben and Klaus who completely understand just how their powers can be a curse at times. Hell, their powers feel like curse all the time. If there is anything that they could be thankful about, that would only be two things: because Klaus can see the dead, he and Ben never felt alone all those years that they are together; because of Ben's ability, he was able to prevent his siblings from being rained of bullets at the theater. All those years being on a mission, he always used his power to destroy. But that time, it was different. He thinks of himself not as a destroyer but as a protector. Someone who's the only person capable of protecting his siblings from danger in that situation.

As they arrive at Five's room, they sit at both sides, Ben on Five's left side and Klaus on the right. Klaus reaches out to Five's hand, gently feeling his pulse as if to fully convince himself that his little brother is still alive.

"Klaus. Five is still alive. If he's dead, you would have noticed because he most definitely wouldn't be lying in his bed and would be pestering you about the next actions that must be done." Ben reassured Klaus as he smiles at him. He's been with Klaus for years and he knows the things that bother his brother.

"Yeah. I know. It's just that, coming back here and knowing that our father is still alive. I don't know what to think or what to feel." Klaus said as he places his hands on his face.

Ben feels sad about the fact that Klaus has to go through this again. All those painful memories he suppressed for such a long time is now coming back to him in the most unimaginable way - not remembering, but actually re-living it.

"I know this will be hard." Ben started speaking as he tries his best to find the right words to make Klaus feels better. "But this time, you won't be alone. I'll be here. We're all be here," he finished.

"I suppose that's true. I guess it's not just Vanya who needs fixing. Before trying to fix others, we should start from within ourselves." Klaus said with a smile.

"Didn't expect that to come from you, but, yeah, that's right." Ben agreed with a surprised look on his face.

"I learned that from you, idiot," Klaus replied as he winked at Ben.

The atmosphere lightens up as they are laughing at each other now. Five seems to be feeling it because his pale face that was once painted with severe pain is now replaced by a smiling face.

"He looks peaceful now," Ben said as he removes Five's hair on his face. "And I'm glad I can touch him," he added.

"Oh, and Ben?" Klaus called Ben's attention.

"Hm?" Ben answered still not looking at Klaus but fondly looking at Five's face. 'Cause let's face it, the only time he can look at Five's face this close is when he is fully unconscious.

"You have to promise me one thing," Klaus said.

Judging by the look on Klaus' face, he already knows what he's about to say but still decides to ask.

"What is it?"

"Promise me that you'll stay alive and survive this shit."

"I'll do my best," Ben replied as he smiles at Klaus.

The conversation ended with a promise. They stay silent as they look at their little brother. They can't help it - considering Five as their "lil' bro" when he told them that his body is no longer aging.

The apocalypse was not averted at the time they went back to the past. Currently, the Commission still believes that the end of the world was completed and they will do everything to make sure it stays that way. They have to be careful with their next actions not to change too much on the timeline which will make them under their radar. But for now, they must rest and prepare themselves for what's about to come.

[diego-hargreeve2]

light in the dark

Part Twenty One

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (Netflix)

Ship: Diego Hargreeves x Original Character

Warnings: Language, abuse (emotional and physical), mental illness, violence and, in later chapters, smut.

It was a silent drive. Evie sat and stared out the passenger window, one hand to her mouth as she bit the skin around her thumb, continuing to tug at the wound even when it began to bleed and sting. Her thoughts were full of self-loathing that twisted like the mess that was her insides. Diego looked over frequently, whenever the drive permitted, and yet she didn’t look his way or react. At one point he reached out a hand, long fingers – the nails with blood beneath from the night he’d almost forgotten in the worry of finding Evie, his skin peppered with cuts and scrapes – curling over her knee but Eve didn’t turn to him. When he next needed to use the gear stick, he let his palm stay there instead of returning to her leg, flexing his fingers.

Arriving at the gym part of him wanted to shower, to rinse off the sweat and fear, the blood and the fights, the clean himself of the evening – but far more he wanted to keep Evie in his sights and presence. Getting out the car he walked around to her door, offering her a hand and helping her to stand. With the car locked his hand dropped to her lower back, beneath her bag, as he guided her forward and through the gym. She knew the way; he needed to know she was there.

While he sat on the edge of the bed Evie took a seat on the chair. For a moment he watched her, unsure. It wasn’t like her to sit away from him. Leaning forward he grabbed the legs of the chair with both hands, yanking it forward so it scraped across the floor and she was close to him. As the furniture shifted, she froze for a moment, and her muscles stayed tense when he let go.

“Look. I know I should’ve told you the truth. But I swear, I don’t love Patch”.

“Why not?”

The question had him incredulous and he frowned, shaking his head slightly.

“What?” The temptation to add ‘the fuck’ was present but he left it there, turning it into an actual question to await her response.

“She’s brave, and clever, and confident. She’s gorgeous and she can take care of herself. You two…you’ve known each other for years, and you’re in the ‘same business’” she reminded him, quoting Diego’s own words back to him. There was envy and sadness in her voice as she finished, her voice lower, “She’s strong”.

“So are you” he pointed out, but Evie shook her head.

“I can’t…I can’t talk to people. I can’t do anything. I don’t know…anything. I’m scared of everything. I’m a coward. I just run”.

He recognised the voice, the implications, the tone – it could have been himself talking if you changed the words. Reaching out he grabbed her wrists, thumbs stroking across her pulse points as he responded in a voice fierce, verging on fury, with insistence.

“You believe that because that’s what those bastards told you as a kid”. Diego knew, because he’d heard the same things.

“My father numbered me. I’m Number Two. You think I don’t get it? How it feels to be raised with the person who should love you hating you? How it feels to not be good enough, to not be able to do anything right. Evie – I get it. But you’re wrong. They’re wrong. You survived. That makes you strong. You lived, you got away. And not only that – you’re a good person still. You never let them win. Look at you – Jesus fuck Evie, you forgave your mother and you see so much good still. That’s brave. To keep caring”. She went to shake her head, lips parting, but he didn’t give her the chance to speak.

“You’re amazing Evie. And when I thought you’d gone because I fucked up and didn’t tell you that, because I thought it didn’t matter – I was scared”.

It was rare for him to admit that. In truth Evie wasn’t sure he’d made any claim to feel fear in any conversation they’d had to date. There was an arrogance to Diego that came from his ability to be sure in his abilities, to survive anything, to fight and win – but he meant it. Seeing the way her eyes had moved to meet his own, wide eyed and disbelieving, he forced himself to press on.

“I was scared that I’d lost you” he confessed. It was a fear like nothing he’d ever felt before. He had never worried about Patch like that, always sure she would be fine even when she wasn’t with him. Believing Evie was gone – whether she was okay or not, to not know where she was and if he’d see her again – had him terrified in a way he hadn’t been since childhood.

“You hate yourself because you think you deserve it. You grew up being despised and you believe it all. But I don’t hate you, and I – I don’t want to lose you. I love you”. Diego hadn’t thought about those words before they left his lips, and yet he recognised them as true.

There were only two people he’d ever said those three words to before in his life. One had been his mother. The other had been Eudora. It had taken him a year to come to terms with falling in love with Patch, and another two months to find the courage to speak it out loud. He’d found it easy to show love, but to speak it? That had taken a very long time.

He’d not thought about it with Evie. But at the prospect of this being the end - no more mornings with her warmth turning to bed into a nest, her attitude even just after waking far more cheerful than his at that hour, no more nights collecting her and seeing the admiration in her eyes that brought back his faith in the world, no more of the flashes of humour when she surprised him into laughter, no more of her worrying and caring for him – to never see her smile again…he knew it was true.

“I love you” he repeated, his own voice wondering as he accepted this, his tone no less sincere, and his face begging, pleading, for her to believe and understand.

Nobody had said that to Eve in her life. Nobody had felt it for her. She stared at him, caught between the truth written across his expression and the way his hands still held her wrists so gently, and the voices in her mind that told it could never be true and letting herself believe this would just get her hurt all over again.

“Move in with me”. What he wanted was to hear her say it back, but the look on her face was a deer in the headlights, stunned beyond speech or action. A part of him ached at the silence, that part of him as a child that had hated to be addressed as Number Two. The child who had at first been desperate to prove himself and competed with Luther for years to win their father’s love – before it had revolted, rebelled against the impossible, and found his own way.  That she said nothing woke all the old feelings he thought were gone, that had been left behind with childhood. But if she wouldn’t repeat the sentiment, at least he had to know she’d stay.

“I…I don’t understand”.

“I want you to stay here. I want…I need to know you’re safe. That you’re here. I don’t want anything like tonight again” Diego insisted. It was tempting to pressure her into a yes, but that would never slake his worry and the hollow created inside when she didn’t offer the same three words. Still his eyes were eloquent and made his desperation clear even if he avoided outright begging.

To have him want her to live here…to stay with him, to have her enter the space he could be so protective of, to let her into his life…the offer, to Eve, meant more than his proclamation.

“Stay” he whispered softly. “Stay with me”.

Tears sprung to her eyes for the umpteenth time this evening, but these ones weren’t born of pain and heartbreak so much as amazement, her heart which had felt lost and empty suddenly expanding in her chest so she could hardly breathe for a very different reason and, not trusting herself to speak, she nodded slightly with a smile.

He grinned, his mood changing immediately on her agreement. Loosening his grip, he slid his hands up her arms, cupping her elbows as he leaned forward and kissed her.

“You will?” Diego repeated, needing her to speak, needing to hear it.

“I will. Yes Diego”. He kissed her again as soon as she’d spoken. It wasn’t a kiss designed to seduce, it was relief, emotions spilling over as he kissed her again and again, thumbs brushing the tears off her cheeks when they fell, both of them half laughing against the others mouth.

i’ll try and write something happier for the next chapter

@mrsdiegohargreeves @reblogserpent @klausbutgayer @fatbottomedcurls @me125 @carryon-doctor-lock @rhymesmenagerie @lovinglydiego  @eleventhdoctorsangel​

[electricbluebutterflies]

i’d like it if you stayed

They're always okay, in the end.

Or, the world needs more Eudora x Diego fluff so here we are. Canon-divergent (the Bad Thing is averted), PG-ish, and also on ao3. Title and some inspo from “400 Lux” by Lorde.

See, the thing is, Eudora always thought she'd settle down with someone nice. And in the end that's what happens, but not at all how she expects.

She's twenty-two and clawing her way through the police academy, such a perfectionist because a woman who looks like she does damn well has to be, and she doesn't have time or energy for so much as a crush. Especially not on a classmate. Especially not on that classmate, who shows back up after winter break with a hell of a scar on his head that he refuses to explain to anybody.

A week after that, he gets kicked out for being too stubborn. Against her better judgment, Eudora decides she cares.

She doesn't really have time for friends either, but she's slowly going stir-crazy and she's not sure how she's going to make it through the rest of the program without some kind of human connection, and she sees something in there that makes her think he needs that too. Diego, who probably got red-flagged as soon as their instructors noticed the utter terror on his face whenever his last name was mentioned, who got kicked out for being too much of a person. It doesn't take much for her to find his address, and she's not sure how well he'll take a casual acquaintance randomly showing up at his apartment but only one way to find out.

She's not sure what she expects when she knocks on the door. She's surprised enough when it opens. Even more so when she sees him smile for the first time.

"W-what are you doing here?" he asks, bracing himself against the doorframe like he's not sure what's about to go wrong.

Yeah. She should've thought about this better. She should've called, but she didn't so time to improvise.

"Wanted to make sure you were alright after what happened last week."

They're not friends. They've had exactly three totally voluntary conversations and two of those were very focused on what they were learning in their class that week. And Eudora has learned to have no expectations when dealing with people she finds attractive (and she can admit that, at least). But she's curious and lonely and that's a bad mix, and-

He steps back, opens the door further, motions for her to come in.

"It's not much but… thank you. For being here."

"I'm kinda surprised you didn't freak out on me," she laughs. He's easy to talk to, she decides. She likes that.

"You were nice when stuff came up," he shrugs. "You didn't make your judgments based on things that aren't me."

She rolls her eyes. She heard all the commentary when all of that came out into the open - former teenage superhero gone muggle is apparently fair game for the idiot gorillas that make up the majority of her classmates - and didn't really think about it at the time. So Diego has a weird background. Whatever. The humanity was mutual, his eyes and hands stayed in respectful places when they practiced hand-to-hand combat - hell, she picked him as a partner because she knew he'd be decent to her. Everybody's got their demons. He hasn't let his win. What more is she supposed to care about.

"And you're aware of where my eyes actually are," she mutters, trying to clear the air. "I think that's a starting point."

She ends up on his absolutely-a-torture-device couch, somehow, and they end up talking for hours about stuff that matters and stuff that doesn't, and she decides as she realizes it's getting late and she should get home that she definitely has a bit of a crush on him.

"I'll walk you home," he offers.

"I can protect myself. And it'd be a hell of a walk. Easier to take the bus."

"You sure?"

"I'll call you when I get home. Is that a good compromise?"

It is. She does. She could get used to this.

The rest of police training goes smoothly, made easier by her new outlet. Sunday afternoons, she goes over to that basement apartment and they hang out and it's the most innocent and most fun thing she's done in a long while. As she should've expected, Diego's cultural background is nonexistent and she makes it her personal mission to make him watch all the fun-terrible movies she and her sisters loved when they were younger (and still do love - a weakness for intentionally bad movies is an integral part of Patch DNA, right under an inclination towards emotionally exhausting careers). In return… she's not sure what he gets out of their blossoming dynamic, but she starts to suspect she's the only actual friend he has.

Eudora is not a fixer. She doesn't want to be anybody's tether to reality. And from what she can tell, as weeks turn to months, Diego really needs a tether. She's not signing up for that. Not intentionally.

But god, his face lights up when she says something nice about him and she's starting to suspect he's got even more emotional scars than physical ones, and she thinks she could make a life out of those moments.

She graduates in the spring and gets hired soon after, and for a couple months it seems like everything in her life is going according to perfect plan. She turns twenty-three and goes out with her sisters because that's what she's got for female friends right now, and she has her routines, and she thinks she's happy but she's not totally sure, and-

The Sunday afternoon routine continues, until one day in late summer he's in terrible condition and won't talk about it. It takes Eudora an unfortunate few minutes to figure out that maybe her friend's new collection of bruises might have something to do with some of the intermittent static on the radio last night.

"Stay fucking still," she mutters as she goes in search of… honestly, any first-aid materials she can find. Which she does not find, because of course this beautiful dumbass doesn't have so much as a box of bandaids anywhere in his living space. Thankfully she's got a few in her purse, but she is decidedly unimpressed and-

"I-I'm fine," he hisses as she cleans a cut on his hand with the contents of a mystery bottle that smells rather like vodka. (It's what she can find. She's improvising.)

"You're an idiot," she corrects. "You can't just do… whatever it is you did." She knows darn well what happened, but she can pretend otherwise. She has learned, is learning that he reveals information in his own time. Best not to push.

"Why do you care?"

She answers with her mouth on his, tasting his shock for a moment before he opens up to her. Oh, she'd suspected there was potential but it is different underneath her, different as she realizes she was wrong about a few things.

"You've never done that before," she breathes. They're inches apart.

"No."

"Was it okay?"

He pulls her down and gives an answer of his own, and he learns quickly.

They drift for a few months, undefined, slowly growing closer. On occasion, on midweek nights, he starts showing up at her apartment. She appreciates this development; it's more comfortable to bring him into her spaces, fall asleep in her bed with him next to her, get used to doing things like the normal people they aren't. He becomes home to her, and she begins to learn his body and his nightmares. A good man who has become good out of his own stubbornness more than anything else, and she admires that. Her own determination, valid as it is, feels lesser by comparison.

And then, about a year after they begin, they have their first fight.

Well, actually a two-part fight. The first part happens in front of way too many people, because vigilante antics occasionally do not end before flashing lights and sirens get there and she's not admitting she knows the jackass in the mask but she's definitely less than thrilled with them. The second, a couple hours later, in the privacy of his apartment and much more intense.

"You can't do that," she hisses. "You can't just-"

"I was doing the right thing."

"By your own hand! Your knives aren't gonna save you from some asshole with a gun!"

"I know what I'm doing."

"That's the problem. You know."

Eudora walks away and doesn't see him for a month.

She plans on it being longer. A lot longer, if at all possible. But then one night she's having trouble sleeping, wanders out to the main room of her apartment to make some tea in an attempt at calming her mind, and there's someone on the fucking fire escape and she is not anywhere near as worried as she ought to be because she recognizes those features in the moonlight.

She should ignore the issue. Let him freeze out there. She shouldn't care, she has no desire to get widowed young and that's where any entanglement with that man will end up, she is absolutely sure of it. But it's one in the damn morning, and she can't imagine he's come 'round to apologize for being a dick, and she figures she might as well see what he actually wants and then ask him to leave through the front door like a civilized person.

"I couldn't save them."

She's not gonna ask. There's too much weight in his voice, and she suspects she'll hear a recap in a few days from whichever of her coworkers gets stuck with the fallout. Right now what matters is dealing with the innocent bystander, as she suspects Diego ultimately is this time.

"You're safe here," she murmurs. "You can keep me safe."

"What if I can't?"

"I have a gun under my mattress. I'm not afraid of anything."

He stays in her bed for almost three days. Whatever happened - she never does get that recap - was traumatic for him. She doesn't ask, just lets him be. All she can ever do.

Years begin to pass in that pattern. They'll be good for a few months, friends and lovers and beautifully undefined, and then he'll get in her way at work and she'll get mad and shut him out for a few weeks until they both calm down. Or some emotional line will get crossed, one of the traumas he's not talking about, and he'll be the one to cause the distance. Every time, she knows they'll come back to each other once their blood cools down. They always do.

The worst fight, the one that keeps him away for three months, happens when she's twenty-seven and she decides she wants a future with him. Wants kids, specifically, because she thinks they'd be decent parents.

He doesn't agree. He does, over several hours, explain exactly why that is. And then he leaves.

For several months, she doesn't even hear static about him.

Eventually, curiosity wins out. Eventually she wanders down to the shitty basement apartment she hasn't been to in almost a year, because she knows he's not dead but he might be close, and decides to fix what she broke.

"I have faith in you," she says towards the end of her apology. "I have faith that you and I could figure out how to do all the normal things."

"I'm not good at normal, Dora." He's the only person she's ever let call her that, and it makes her just a little melty.

"You're getting better at it. You haven't talked shit about my knife rule in six months, my parents like you…"

"I think your parents are happy you brought home anyone."

"Valid, but they were not that nice to Maria's latest ex-girlfriend. You don't wanna know."

And just like that, they're okay. They're always okay, in the end.

They're okay, three years later, when Eudora gets hit in the head with god-knows-what and loses a week of her life.

She wakes up in a hospital room, not the first time this has happened to her but damn there are a lot of wires attached to her body, and a very panicked sort-of-recurrent-boyfriend by her side.

"What happened?" she asks when she feels like she can do words.

He doesn't answer with his voice. Can't. Just looks at her like she's the most important thing in his life, and she's known for years that she is but it's different like this, and it's enough.

"I'm not going anywhere," she murmurs. "You need me too much."

See, the thing is, Eudora isn't totally sure how to handle a longterm relationship that doesn't take pauses because of petty fights every couple months. But she thinks, as she recovers and slowly learns the story of how the chaotically dysfunctional Hargreeves clan both caused and averted the apocalypse, that she could learn. She could do a lot of things.

"Stay this time," she suggests two weeks later, when she's functional enough to do the rest of her recovery in her own apartment sans complicated equipment.

Diego looks like something's just run him over, but emotionally as opposed to the physical default.

"I will," he replies. "Someone's gotta take care of you."

[cricket-scribbles]

NSFW Alphabet | Diego x Eudora

Prompted by @detectivediego! Hope you like it, lovely! ♥ Check out Ao3 for extra visual aids *winkwink* Masterlist

A: Aftercare (What are they like after sex?)

Diego is very tactile after sex. He knows he can be a lot to handle for many reasons and he wants to make sure Eudora is comfortable, sated, and well-cared for. He likes running his hands over Eudora’s skin, feeling every post-orgasmic shiver and twitch of her muscles. He also likes to scoop an arm around Eudora’s waist and pull her on top of him, draping her over his chest until every inch of her is pressed to every inch of him. 

Eudora cozies up to Diego, rests her hand on his chest or his back. Presses lazy, contented kisses to the side of his neck probably where she bit him a few times earlier.

B: Body part (Favorite body part - on themselves and their partner)

Diego’s favorite body part on himself: abs. He’s not shy about it either. He worked hard to get them and he’s proud of that.

Diego’s favorite body part on Eudora: hands. The way she holds him, the way she threads her fingers through his hair then pulls with a delicious burn to his scalp, the way her fingernails bite into his back. Her hands are capable of anything and he loves toying with her fingers, kissing her knuckles, her palm, her wrist. Eudora’s favorite body part on herself: breasts. Especially when Diego falls asleep with his head there. Or kisses between her breasts. Or pinches her nipple between his teeth. Or the rasp of his stubble scrapes the curve of her breast - she’s off the moon.

Eudora’s favorite body part on Diego: Arms. When he holds her, she feels safe and secure in a way that she’s never felt before.

C: Cum

Eudora is a highly active woman. She takes extra precaution when it comes to pregnancy risks. So even though she’s on the pill, she makes sure Diego still wears a condom and he will not be cumming inside her.

Heaven for Diego is Detective Eudora Patch cumming on his tongue with her thighs clamped around his head.

D: Dirty talk (Do they engage in it? Do they like it?)

Diego has the filthiest mouth on planet earth. And he never stutters. When he’s talking dirty, he talks more than Eudora has ever heard from him before. What he says depends on his mood and his partner’s mood. Sometimes it’s sweet and sexy. Other times it’s rough and raunchy.

Eudora is a bit more sparing with her dirty talk. Only because she knows exactly the effect it has on Diego and she wants to make sure he stays hungry for it. She’s very discerning with a well-placed phrase or two whispered in Diego’s ear as her fingers wander down his chest and below his belt. She knows where the switch is to light Diego up in a heartbeat and she uses it to her full advantage.

E: Experience (How experienced are they?)

Eudora and Diego are equally experienced.

Although Diego was the first one to really show Eudora the pleasures of leather, bondage, and the head rush of adrenaline.

Eudora was the first one to show Diego the pleasure of vulnerability, how good it felt to let himself fall into Eudora's hands with complete surrender and know she will take care of him.

F: Favorite position

Doggy all the way for both.

But then there was that one time when Eudora was asleep in Diego’s bed, lying on her stomach, sheets pooled around her waist, exposing her bare back. Diego traced his fingers down her spine, over the curve of her ass, nudging the sheets aside.

Eudora woke to Diego laying on top of her as if he was shielding her from the rest of the world, his cock sliding into her to brush against her G-spot so perfectly that she gasped a shaky holy fuck into her pillow.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” Diego whispered in her ear.

That became their #1 favorite position. Eudora could still reach over her shoulder and pull Diego’s hair the way he liked. Diego could say all manner of depraved dirty talk, mumbled in Eudora’s shoulder, neck, and hair. Eudora went out of her mind every time she heard Diego moan and she felt him thrust into her all the way to the hilt, completely filling her, his body covering hers protectively, his hand clutching her hip with a death grip.

Doggy is great for a quickie but this...this hit all the right spots for both of them. Literally.

G: Goofy (Sense of humor during sex or not?)

It took a while for Diego and Eudora to discover their lighter, happy side. Sex is usually a release of adrenaline and frustration for them. It’s rough around the edges, it dances along the edge of danger, teeth gritted, grasping and biting and the friction of skin on skin to forget everything else.

Once they finally relaxed and became familiar with each other, every now and then Diego lets a joke slip or a wry comment and Eudora just cracks up. And it absolutely thrills Diego to see Eudora laugh like that when she’s usually so serious on the job. 

He doesn’t ham it up all the time. He’s (adorably) shy about being cheesy and playful with Eudora but she loves to coax it out of him when she can.

Though tickling is off limits for both of them. It would simply end in a blood bath.

H: Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Diego prefers to keep any and all body hair short. Less hassle that way.

Eudora stays trimmed but only once in a blue moon will she wax. She’s too damn busy for it otherwise.

I: Intimacy (What are they like in the moment? Are they romantic or not?)

It takes a looooong time for Diego and Eudora to actually be intimate and romantic with each other. At first, sex was fast and rough and that was it.

Months later, Diego is the one to show his romantic side. Eudora had a really bad week at work so Diego set up a nice dinner for her (which he ordered from her favorite restaurant since he can’t cook for shit). He takes her hand and pulls her close, slow dancing to the muted music emanating from an apartment or a night club about a block or so away that makes it sound like it’s from another world. Eudora was utterly shocked and teased Diego a little about it which made him duck his head and look away, self-conscious. But Eudora kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder, sending Diego’s pulse skyrocketing through the roof. They hardly talked, there was no sex, and they just held each other for an hour or two.

After that, romance and intimacy factored into their lives more. Eudora loves giving Diego massages - she gets to run her hands over the muscles in Diego’s back for as long as she wants, and she catalogs every new bruise and scar that Diego never explains. Plus it turns Diego into a puddle of goo - he’s more relaxed than she’s ever seen him.

And Diego really, really loves kissing every inch of Eudora’s skin. It’s not enough to run his hands over the swell of her breast or the arch of her neck - he wants to taste her, to feel her skin against his lips. He doesn’t always have the patience for it though because he gets distracted by how good she smells or the way she hooks a thigh up around his hip. 

J: Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

After a night of vigilante-ism, Diego’s blood is pounding and if he’s not too beat up or dead on his feet exhausted, he’ll do a quick jack off session before falling into bed. 

Eudora has a wide range of masturbation methods that she likes to utilize from shower heads and bullet vibrators to dildos. She doesn’t get to do it as often as she would like, especially when it comes to stress levels from work and Diego’s escapades. But on her weekends, she definitely takes some time to treat herself right.

K: Kink(s)

Danger. Just...danger. For both of them.

Also:

Diego - BDSM (obviously) Lingerie, black is better but Eudora convinced him that red is sexy too. Stockings Almost getting caught Hair pulling (his more than hers)

Eudora -  Blindfolds Orgasm denial (hers as well as his) Hot and cold play

L: Location (Favorite places to have sex)

At first, it was just quickies in a back alley or in a restroom. Neither Eudora nor Diego wanted to open their living spaces to each other. They just wanted to fuck each other senseless.

But those were locations out of convenience, not preference.

Later on, for Diego, it was the gym. Plenty of opportunity for bondage. Had the perfect echo when Eudora got vocal. And it was just enough of a public space that there was a thrill of almost getting caught if anyone knocked on the door, looking for a late night gym session.

Until Five transported into the gym with a giant bag of popcorn in hand. The gym was a no-go after that. (Somehow, miraculously, Five got out alive with all appendages in tact. Though he still keeps a safe distance between himself and Diego at all times.)

Then it was Eudora’s apartment, or a motel room on the city’s outskirts where they were both far away from their lives.

M: Motivation (What turns them on?)

Diego: Eudora’s everything. Bonus points for when Eudora, out of the blue, sidles close and whispers something like, “I want you to fuck me against the wall. Now.”

Eudora: Diego’s shoulder holsters. When he bites her lip in the middle of a kiss. Every damn time he wears leather (which is a lot and she’s in agony).

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do. Turn offs.)

Diego - He will. not. draw blood on Eudora. Ever. If things get rough and he sees his hand print a little too dark on Eudora’s skin, he will screech to a stop, whether the safe word was used or not. He’ll call the whole thing off and pull Eudora into his lap, cradling the back of her head in his hand, kissing her shoulder in apology.

They like to tease that boundary between pain and pleasure but it makes Diego physically ill to think of seriously hurting Eudora.

Eudora - She can’t bring herself to call Diego even slightly demeaning/derogatory names. She did it once, in the heat of the moment when they were first getting together, and he didn’t flinch but there was something in his eyes that made her stomach drop. Like he believed he deserved it. Like he’d heard it before many times to the point that he’d accepted it.

She only praises him now, tells him how good he is for her. He doesn’t believe it, but she hopes he will one day.

O: Oral (Giver or receiver? No go altogether?)

Diego - Giver and receiver with equal enthusiasm. There’s something about eating Eudora out, bringing her to climax with only his mouth, lips, and tongue that fascinates and thrills him. He doesn’t have to picture words in his head. His mouth won’t clam up on him or fail him. He won’t trip over his tongue. For once, his mouth does exactly what he tells it to and he could watch the results of his efforts for days as Eudora babbles his name over and over.

Eudora - She receives more than gives, mostly because Diego is so attentive. But when she gives, she gives very, very well. She knows every spot that will make Diego arch right off of the bed, fingers fisted in her hair, in the sheets, and the most colorful obscenities pour from his mouth.

And she LOVES working him into an oversensitive state. It’s like crack to her, watching brooding Diego become a breathless, panting, squirming mess.

P: Pace (Fast or slow?)

For both Eudora and Diego, 90% of the time, it’s fast. 

5% is slow and sensual. Romantic and sweet. Doesn’t happen often. But they’re working on it.

The last 5% is so slow that it’s sheer torture - basically orgasm denial.

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies)

For the first few months of their not-relationship (because they refused to give it a label), all Diego and Eudora did were quickies. It took them at least six months for their first sexual encounter that lasted more than five minutes.

R: Risk (Do they experiment? Or not?)

Oh boy do they experiment! They need to learn where the breaks are ASAP. They just plunge in and don’t slow down. The thrill of riding that danger line gets them both revved up.

They have a safe word of course. But it’s a matter of pride and principles and pure buttheadedness that they never use it.

S: Stamina (How long can they last?)

Diego has more stamina and can generally go for another round pretty quickly. But overall, neither one lasts very long. They generally play hard and fast.

T: Toys (Do they own any? Do they use any on their partner? etc.)

Toys galore between the two of them.

Diego has all sorts of toys, mostly used on his partner. Handcuffs, ropes, etc.

Eudora has a decent sized collection of a variety of toys to use on herself. Due to the unpredictable and demanding nature of her job, there are stretches where she’s flying solo a lot. She doesn’t like to rely on someone else to give her pleasure when she can give it to herself. 

Also, when she’s fighting with Diego, she refuses to be the first one to break.

U: Unfair (How much do they tease?)

Diego is 50-50 on teasing. Sometimes, he’s too impatient for it. Other times, he likes to work Eudora into a frenzy and see her completely unraveled because of him.

Eudora is a master at teasing. She craves leaving Diego right on the edge, not letting him cum for hours. It takes a long time to break Diego’s iron will, but she always gets him to that pleading point eventually.

V: Volume (How loud are they?)

Eudora is fucking LOUD and Diego loses his shit over it every time.

Diego is at the medium noise range. He’ll talk dirty a mile a minute but he prefers to listen to Eudora go off.

If it’s hate sex/make-up-after-a-fight sex, sweet lord, get some noise-cancelling headphones for the entire block.

W: Wild card (Random headcanon)

Diego and Eudora are both fairly dominant personalities which is why they butt heads so often. Diego exercises his dominant side in the bedroom more often than Eudora does, simply because Diego is so used to keeping his submissive side under wraps in case someone uses it against him as a weakness.

So the first time Eudora yanked on a fistful of Diego’s hair and said very softly, “On your knees,” Diego just about came in his pants then and there.

As sexy as it is when Eudora gives orders, it’s also Diego’s knee-jerk instinct to retaliate against those same orders. So he gets VERY mouthy and bratty, to Eudora’s delight.

X: X-ray (What’s going on down below?)

Diego’s cock is...intimidating, to say the least, at 8 inches long, heavy, and thick. Every time Eudora sees it, she wants to wrap her hands around it, squeeze him or stroke him until she gets a reaction.

Eudora used to wear boy briefs or lacy underwear. Until she went commando once and wound up at Diego’s place. When he found out she wasn’t wearing any underwear, she could see the physical reaction come over him - a hard swallow, lips parted in pure, unveiled, raw hunger.

She goes commando as often as possible now, just to make Diego go a little nuts over it.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Diego - high. When he’s at a crime scene with Eudora and she has that gun strapped to her hip, he wants nothing more than to get his hands on her right then and there.

Eudora - high. One look at Diego with those knives, wearing all that tight black clothing...her mouth goes dry and all she can think about is pinning him down until he moans.

It leads to a lot of pent up sexual frustration on both sides.

Z: Zzz... (How quickly do they fall asleep afterward?)

They both stay awake for a little while. But Eudora usually drifts off first. Mostly because Diego can’t bear to close his eyes around Eudora in case he wakes up and realizes she was just a dream and now she’s gone. 

....whoops I made it sad

[apictureofspace]

Pinch Me, ‘Cause I Must Be Dreaming

PROMPTS TAKEN FROM HERE

@holdendadcliffe asked for: Diego & Patch + 40

March 17th, 2008

St. Patrick’s Day was never a fun day to be a cop in a big city. It fell right under Halloween and just a smidge above the Fourth of July. Essentially, any day where costumes and/or the copious consumption of alcohol were encouraged on a mass scale was not a fun day to be a cop. 

Eudora Patch agreed vehemently with the widespread sentiment and she’d only been on the force for a year. What little enjoyment she used to get out of the three aforementioned holidays was long gone and, if there was one thing that made an already difficult job even harder on the Holy Trinity of Horrible Work Days, it was masked vigilantes who were convinced they were Batman and that this city was Gotham. {Although, the vigilante-in-question looked a great deal more like Robin and maybe, just maybe, Eudora found it fun to rub that fact in his face. (Just a little.) But, mostly, Diego Hargreeves was a pain in her ass.}

On this particular evening, she and Chuck Beaman had apprehended him trying to apprehend a drunken bodega robber who was dressed head-to-toe in a green suit. Who did this guy think he was? The Riddler? He certainly wasn’t going to help with the whole “convince-Diego-that-this-isn’t-a-comic-book-and-we-can-handle-things” spiel. Regardless, she couldn’t exactly let Diego off the hook. Apprehending criminals without a badge, especially when you do it at knife-point, happens to be a big no-no. (Or, rather, she shouldn’t let him off the hook - but she was still going to because a part of her, deep down, respected what he was trying to do.)

“You’ve really gotta stop doing this. There are only so many times I can ‘let you off with a warning’ before the chief’s gonna insist that we bring you in,” Eudora muttered, arms crossed over her chest, clearly looking less than amused as Diego sat on the hood of her squad car while Beaman booked their Green Adversary. 

“Well, if the PD wasn’t filled with a bunch of incompetent morons, I wouldn’t have to do this. But here we are,” Diego quipped, prompting Eudora to raise a clearly not-amused eyebrow. 

“Incompetent?”

“Yeah. Incompetent,” Diego agreed - and, to her abject horror, he reached over and pinched her arm. 

“What the hell, Hargreeves?” she snapped, scowling, and her frown only deepened when he smirked.

“You’re not wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day. That’s pretty incompetent.”

“Oh yeah? Where’s your green, asshole?” she huffed, taking in his black tactical suit and that ridiculous Robin mask. The very last thing that Eudora Patch expected Diego Hargreeves to do was to lift his foot up to the hood of the squad car, where he was still perched, and to then tug up his pant-leg, revealing a pair of bright green socks with shamrocks on them.

Despite her very best efforts not to allow it, a grin involuntarily pulled at the corners of her lips.

“You’re such an idiot.”

His own grin growing, Diego let his foot drop down onto the ground again, springing up from the car’s hood and taking a few steps closer so that he was hovering in her personal space.

“Have I entered an alternate universe,” he began, his voice barely more than a whisper, “or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

Rolling her eyes, Eudora gave him a light shove, walking over to the driver’s side door and tugging it open once Beaman had their robber in custody, safely locked away in the back of the squad car. 

“You’re an idiot and you’re seeing things, Hargreeves,” she quipped, leaning against the door just long enough to say, “Stay out of trouble.”

“I make no promises,” was his response, as always - and he was fairly sure, although not certain, that he saw her smile again before the car door shut behind her and she and Beaman drove back to the station. 

Submit a prompt?

[miamibeerscene]

9 Beers to Match Your Personal Phobias

Getty Images

October 20, 2017

Spiders. Snakes. Creepy clowns. Most of us know what it’s like to have an irrational fear, whether it’s acrophobia (fear of heights), mysophobia (fear of germs), or hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia (fear of long words). Luckily, as with most things in life, phobias are easier to handle when you’ve had a beer — unless that beer’s name and label art happen to play on your deepest, darkest fear, in which case, you’re out of luck. But at least you have a beer!

(READ: Buy Anheuser-Busch? Craft Beer Wants to “Take Craft Back”)

Sometimes, it’s fun to scare ourselves silly for no good reason. See if your personal phobia is on the list below, and track down the beer we recommend with it.

Arachnophobia: Fear of spiders | Eye Be Use Imperial IPA

A fear of spiders seems to be wired into the human psyche. While not everyone has a paralyzing fear of them, it’s tough not to get the heebie-jeebies at the thought of one of these eight-legged creeps crawling on you.

If you don’t have enough spider-related terror in your life, Spider Bite Beer‘s Eye Be Use Imperial IPA can help. Spider Bite got its name after co-founder Larry Goldstein walked through a spider web while trying to think up what to call his new brewery. He hates spiders, and the thrashing around he did after his mishap made his business partner laugh so much they decided to go with Spider Bite.

Eye Be Use plays cleverly on the measurement used to determine how much hop bitterness is in a beer, and while the beer is big at 9.6% ABV, it’s balanced enough that it’s nothing to be afraid of. One look at those gigantic arachnid eyes staring from the front of this bottle is enough to give most folks the willies. If you see a spider as big as the one on the bottle though, run the other way.

Ophidiophobia: Fear of snakes | Snake Hollow IPA

According to the book of Genesis, people have good reason to be scared of snakes: the devil himself took on snake form and got humanity kicked out of paradise. Of course, ophidiophobes don’t need any help from the Bible to be scared of these legless reptiles–one look at their lidless eyes and flicking tongues is enough.

The folks at Potosi Brewing in Potosi, Wisconsin, know a thing or two about snakes. The area was once known as Snake Hollow because of the prevalence of rattlesnakes in the area, so Potosi decided to name their flagship IPA after the old nickname. At 6.5% ABV and a clean 65 IBUs of classic American hoppy goodness, a snake bite never sounded so good.

(INFOGRAPHIC: How to Choose the Right Beer Glass)

Astraphobia: Fear of lightning and thunder | Thunderball Stout

We can all get a little nervous when dark clouds pile up outside and the lightning and thunder crack so close it sounds like the sky is splitting in half, but for some folks, the fear runs much deeper.

The mother of Eudora Brewing‘s owner and head brewer Neil Chabut narrowly avoided being swept away by a tornado when she was young, and she’s been terrified of storms ever since. The first time Chabut (pronounced shub-YOO) brewed this 7% ABV oatmeal stout, he was homebrewing in his garage as a storm broke loose outside. He decided to name the brew in honor the appropriately dark weather, and kept the name when he opened Eudora Brewing in Kettering, Ohio, in 2013.

“Thunderball is unique because it’s fairly roasty and sharp, but smooth and silky at the same time,” says Chabut. Sounds like the perfect comfort drink for when you’re huddling under a fort made of couch cushions until the storm passes.

Claustrophobia: Fear of small spaces | Rugged Coalminer

There’s something about tight spaces that fills some of us with anxiety. Whether the close confines make you think of the grave, or you just feel trapped, close-quarters are a nightmare — which would make coalmining a truly hellish job.

Illinois might not be the first state you think of when you think of coalmining, but Lincoln’s birthplace actually has a rich mining history, and still has several active mines. Scorched Earth Brewing in Algonquin decided to honor hardworking miners with a robust porter featuring mining tools and the legendary mineshaft canary. Rich and chocolatey, Rugged Coalminer won gold at the 2017 L.A. International Beer Competition in the Robust Porter category.

(VISIT: Find a U.S. Brewery)

Aerophobia: Fear of flying | Sky High Rye

Evolution did not equip human beings with wings, so it’s safe to say we don’t come pre-programmed with a tremendous comfort level soaring through the sky thousands of feet above the ground. While most people are comfortable with air travel, some folks never do get over their fear of airplanes, much less jumping out of one.

Arcadia Brewing founder Timothy Suprise had no such qualms as an Army Reserve cadet in college. He attended jump school at Fort Benning, Georgia. Decades later, long after he’d founded Arcadia near Kalamazoo, Michigan, he was talking with some customers who were avid skydivers, and they took him up for a few jumps. The experience provided the perfect name for the brewery’s new Simcoe-hopped, West Coast-inspired pale ale, Sky High Rye. There are no parachutes required to enjoy this crisp and well-balanced pale ale–you can keep both feet firmly planted on terra firma if you prefer.

Ornithophobia: Fear of birds | Northern Hawk Owl Amber Ale

Birds might not sound all that scary if you don’t suffer from this unusual phobia, but that’s probably because you never watched Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” during your formative years. I did, and while I’m not spooked of our avian friends, I can certainly understand why someone would be after that harrowing experience (I have a particular ornithophobic friend who refuses to get out of any car door that faces a tree).

Right Brain Brewing in Traverse City, Michigan, understands too, so they named their amber ale after one of the most fearsome, feisty feathered fiends (we’ll see if my editor lets that stand) in the state, the Northern Hawk Owl. Right Brain owner Russell Springsteen says, “This is an owl to be feared, as it is small, quick and clever and may get caught in your hair if you have mouse a nesting in there.”

Note to self: remove all nesting mice from hair before visiting Michigan to try this easy drinking amber.

(DISCOVER: Fall Seasonal Beers)

Agoraphobia: Fear of crowds & public spaces | Mosh Pit

While most of us prefer not to be jostled around in a crowd, if you suffer from agoraphobia, it’s about a lot more than discomfort. When a person with this phobia feels trapped in a crowd or perceives a public space to be unsafe they can experience panic attacks and great anxiety.

If this describes you, you probably want to avoid that swirling human maelstrom of the rock music scene we call the mosh pit. San Diego’s Acoustic Ales gives musical names to many of their beers, but it’s their Mosh Pit red ale that will get an agoraphobes hearts beating faster. Floral hop character, smooth caramel malt and a touch of spicy rye make this beer a much safer option than jumping around wildly with a bunch of strangers, though the beer’s ABV does have an ominous tone: 6.66%.

Cynophobia: Fear of dogs | Cerberus Trippel

If you find your neighbor’s friendly, furry companion to be a source of terror, you probably want to avoid Akron’s Thirsty Dog Brewing altogether. While most of their canine-themed beers have humorous names like Barktoberfest and Old Leghumper, there’s nothing funny about their limited edition Belgian Tripel known as Cerberus. Named after the gigantic, three-headed guard dog who stood watch at the gate to Hades in Greek mythology, Cerberus isn’t to be trifled with. Cerberus might not be as frightening as its namesake, but at a sizable 10% ABV, you’d still be wise to show it some respect lest you find yourself rolling over and playing dead too early in the evening.

Thanatophobia: Fear of death | Permanent Funeral

The good people at Three Floyds Brewing in Munster, Indiana, aren’t much for subtlety. They’re known for big, bruising beers with grim bottle art and outrageous names, so we’ve saved them for the biggest, baddest fear of all, the one we’ll all have to reckon with sooner or later: death itself. There’s no coming back from Permanent Funeral, a 10.5% ABV, 100 IBU imperial IPA brewed in collaboration with band Pig Destroyer, whose members are friends with the Three Floyds crew. Named after a track on Pig Destroyer’s album Book Burner, the beer is about as subtle as the band’s thrashing, grinding brand of metal. This hop monster thinks your fear of the grave is just adorable. Whether you laugh in the face of death or shake in your boots, nothing sets the mood for Halloween like a Permanent Funeral.

David NilsenAuthor Website

David Nilsen is a Certified Cicerone and a member of the National Book Critics Circle. He teaches a monthly beer tasting class and leads other professional beer tasting events around his hometown of Greenville, Ohio. He lives with his wife, daughter, and a very irritable cat. Read more by this author

The post 9 Beers to Match Your Personal Phobias appeared first on Miami Beer Scene.

from 9 Beers to Match Your Personal Phobias