#then again neither did sara

[t-u-i-t-c]

the more i think about it the more i actually like daichi

[withleeknow]

hiya! I noticed you have your requests open and if you don't mind, could I please suggest: "for once... I was right" with "don't you dare walk away from me" for Lee Know - maybe angsty but I don't mind you just going with the flow.

thank you!

blue hour.

pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: exes au, exes to ...? 🫢, angst; minho's pov mostly, open ending kinda, some light cursing, unedited don't look at me word count: 2.2k (i got carried away a little bit) listen to 🎧: breathe again - sara bareilles

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation › masterlist › ko-fi

“this should be the last of your things.”

“thanks,” you say, rummaging through the box that minho hands over to you. everything that you left at his place throughout the entire time you were together; every sweatshirt of yours in his closet, every piece of jewelry on his nightstand, every bottle of nail polish that you kept in his bathroom reserved for nights where you two would pamper each other. they're all here, except for... “did you see my red scarf though? i can’t find it anywhere.”

“no, i checked,” he says. “this is everything.”

“hmm, okay.”

you hold the box between your arms, and minho can’t help but feel something twist painfully in his chest. it’s like you're holding your relationship, or what’s left of it anyway, ready to make your swift exit from his life. two years of love, all dumped into one stupid cardboard box.

you both stand there in silence for what feels like forever, just staring at each other, then at your surroundings, neither of you saying anything. minho knows why he hasn’t bid you a farewell goodnight yet; it’s because he doesn’t want this to end. even though it’s a sad occasion, the finale to your story, he still wants to the seconds to stretch on, for the minutes to last longer. after all, isn’t this the last time he'll ever see you?

why you haven’t left him to his devices and gone upstairs, he isn’t sure.

another moment passes. life goes on but it seems like you two are in your own bubble where nothing moves forward. everything stays rooted to the spot.

“do you want to go for a walk?” you ask after a while. the question surprises minho enough that he lets it show, and it makes you quickly tack on an excuse. “the weather is nice and i... i don’t want to be on my own.”

yes, he does want to go for a walk with you. anything to be with you even if it’s only for a moment longer.

“sure,” he says. “let’s go for a walk.”

“okay. i’ll leave this upstairs and get my jacket.”

he watches as you disappear inside your building, only to reemerge momentarily afterward, a wool jacket draped over your frame. he wishes you’d worn something lighter, just so he could have an excuse to wrap his arm around your shoulders if it gets colder.

you walk side by side around your neighborhood, a distance between your bodies that never used to be there before. it’s strange, of course it is. but minho supposes this is yours and his new reality now.

“how are the cats?” you ask.

“they’re okay. dori had a cold a couple weeks ago, but everything’s fine now,” he tells you. “they... they miss you.”

i miss you too - that's a thought that he doesn’t say out loud, only keeps it to himself because it feels too humiliating to utter those words to you.

“they’re cats. how can you tell?”

“i can always tell.” he shrugs. “they wait by the door when i’m already home. they sleep on your-... they sleep on the other side of the bed.”

if you notice his slip up, you don’t say anything. you purse your lips and nod somberly, stuffing your hands in your pockets. “they’ll forget about me soon enough,” you say.

minho glances at you. he wants to rebuke that statement, to argue with you over something as silly as whether or not his freaking cats will retain their memories of you in the future. but he just bites his tongue and swallows down the lump in his throat, humming to let you know that he’s heard what you said. not a hum of agreement, just one of acknowledgement.

“how’s work?” he asks. god, it’s just so fucking weird to be asking you these things. you know each other inside and out and yet, you’re here making small talk.

torn apart when all you two should be is together.

“it’s alright. still the same, kinda boring. you know there’s not a lot that can happen in that place in one month.”

yes, because it’s been a little over a month since you parted ways, since you moved back into your old apartment and left his home perpetually cold and empty. he can’t blame you for leaving when he was the one who agreed to break up. he can’t blame you for his heartache when he was the one who broke your heart first.

he didn’t mean to, but isn’t that what they all say?

“do you still want to leave?”

“sure,” you reply. “if i can find something better, i’d leave that place in a heartbeat. but for now, it’ll have to do. it used to be a bit more bearable though.”

“i hope you find something that makes you happier.”

“thanks.” you give him a smile but it doesn't reach your eyes. “how about you? how’s life?”

minho almost says the first thing that comes into mind. life is terrible without you. i think about you every single minute of every day but you're not here and it’s my own damn fault.

he could lie and come up with something much more palatable, because he doesn’t reckon his truth is something you’d like to hear right now.

but he doesn’t want to lie to you. in the time that you were together, minho never lied to you, not even once, not even over something stupid and insignificant. beside, he’s got a feeling that you would see through his bullshit anyway.

his answer ends up being a sad shrug, then, “it’s life. i’m hanging in there.”

your footsteps slow until you stop completely. this makes him stop too, turning around to look at you with his head tilted to one side, confused.

“it’s not like you to sound so defeated,” you comment.

“what?” he asks with a sigh. “it’s the truth.”

“it’s not the whole truth.”

“what do you want me to say?”

“i want you to be honest with me,” you tell him, your shoulders slumping just slightly. “i still care about you. i want to know you’re okay.”

minho takes a step closer until he’s right in front of you, the closest that you two have been all night. his body feels the warmth radiating from yours but he has to ball his hands into fists to keep from reaching out and touching you.

“if you really want to know, i haven’t been myself since you left.”

guilt flashes in your eyes. it wasn’t his intention at all.

you bite your bottom lip, inhale a shaky breath, before you speak, “i’m sorry for leaving.”

“don’t apologize. i’m sorry for driving you away.”

then he watches the tears well up as you look at him. he’s been wondering this the whole night, how you seem so cavalier about it all, how you’re able to speak to him so casually as if you’re just old friends with some shared history, and not as though the wound is still fresh. he’s still bleeding and you’re acting like you’ve already healed.

but he sees it now. you’re just as sad as he is, just as miserable. the only difference is you’re better at hiding it, or maybe you’ve just had more time to get used to the way it hurts.

is this how you felt in the weeks, the months, leading up to your departure? every time he neglected you, prioritized something else over you, missed every date and overlooked every text message? every single instance where he was too busy for you?

he never wanted to break your heart, but alas, here you are.

he didn’t want you to go, and yet, when you felt like you couldn’t handle the loneliness anymore, he hadn’t stopped you from walking out the door. he gave up, and he gave up so easily.

nothing along the lines of ‘don’t you dare walk away from me’, no tearful argument, no explosive and definitive end to your relationship. minho just let your love slip away.

how must that have made you feel on top of everything that he did - or didn’t do - to you?

minho has been called every variation of ‘cold’ before. to everyone else, he’s callous, rough, intimidating and unapproachable. but to you, he’s kind, soft, gentle and loving. it never mattered what anyone thought of him, as long as you always knew that he loved you, that you saw him for who he was.

but toward the end, what if you saw him how the others did? what if you had deemed him cold too?

the mere thought makes him sick to his stomach.

you sniffle, wiping at your eyes. “you don’t have to say that. it’s in the past now.”

fracture upon fracture upon fracture. minho doesn’t know how much more of this his heart can take.

his fingers twitch, and before he can stop himself, he’s reaching for your hands. to his surprise, you let him.

your hands, so delicate in his, so warm.

“i should’ve fought harder for you,” he says, his voice so small that you barely catch the words at all.

but his eyes… he hopes you can see it in his eyes - the regret, the longing, the pain of losing you dimming the light of the stars he holds there.

giving his hands a light squeeze, you say, “and maybe i should’ve held on tighter instead of letting go.”

“i made you feel like you weren’t enough. it’s the worst thing i ever did to you. i understand why you left.”

you try to calm your breathing, because you really don’t feel like breaking down in front of him right now. you don’t say anything in response; what are you even supposed to say? you told him everything that you wanted to the night that you two broke up. everything that you tried to bottle up for months was laid on the table that night. you watched as he listened to you, watched as his heart broke alongside yours. that was it.

“i… i’m sorry,” minho stutters, and for the first time since you’ve known him, he looks scared. “i’m sorry. can’t we try again? i swear i won’t let you down again. i swear to you.”

“min…” the nickname slips out of habit and for a second there, minho thinks you would say yes. but then… “i know you’re sorry. i know we didn’t break things off because we fell out of love. but i don’t think you’re at a point in your life where i can be the most important thing right now. you may not mean to, but there’ll be things that you prioritize over me… and i’m not at a place in my life where i can settle for being on someone’s back burner either. the timing’s just off. it’s not your fault, life just got in the way.”

minho stares at you, the stars dying out one by one. the hurt is beyond what any word can describe but in a way, he understands. it fucking sucks, but he gets it. he has to accept it now.

he nods solemnly, tracing odd patterns on your palms. then he asks, quietly, “can i hold you? just for a while.”

please indulge me, he thinks. this is the last thing i’ll ever ask from you.

you don’t reply with words. instead, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. you two stay there in each other’s embrace for god knows how long. it could’ve been minutes or it could’ve been hours. you always lose track of time when you’re wrapped up together.

you hold him like he - tough and intimidating minho - is made of glass, and he holds you like he doesn’t ever want to let you go.

but he has to eventually.

you untangle yourself from him to find that he’s been crying. the tears on his cheeks catch the light from the street lamps, reflecting like crystals in the night. when you wipe them away, you tell him, “for once, i was right.”

“about what?” he sniffles.

“you really are a hopeless romantic,” you smile, trying to lighten the mood. as much as you can anyway. “i knew you’d prove me right one day.”

minho wants to scoff but his eyes are burning from the tears and his throat feels like it's closing up, so he lets you have this one. the last one, right?

maybe he is a romantic, and maybe it’s only for you. maybe it makes him a little hopeless.

the walk back to yours ends too quickly. but truth be told, even if you had walked together until the sun came up, it still wouldn’t have been long enough for him.

you both stand there, two heavy hearts looking at each other, looking for one another.

there’s no goodbye, only goodnight.

and you’re the one who says it first.

minho returns your sentiment with a choked up voice, a brush of his fingers against yours, and when you finally turn to walk up the steps, his gaze lingers on your retreating figure.

then he calls your name softly. “hey, uhm... i’ll let you know if the scarf turns up, okay?”

you turn back with a knowing smile. it’s still sad, but there’s some faith hidden there.

“i hope it will.”

permanent taglist: @onlyycb97wife @starsandrqindrops @borahae-reads @abbiestearsricochet @cutiespaghetti @anthropologykpopmultistan @moonlinos @mjnhoz @caitlyn98s @piercidh34rts  @stayceebs97 @linocz @yaorzu-blog @biribarabiribbaem @kayleefriedchicken

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.01.2024]

[neptuneiris]

cardigan (3/3)

I knew you, leavin' like a father, running like water

pairing: modern!aemond × best friend reader!

summary: being in love with your best friend since high school becomes a strong and unavoidable feeling. until it starts to become more difficult when you get to college and the two of you, especially him, meet new people.

word count: 8.8k

previous part • next part

After forcing yourself to forget about Aemond, start having every intention of having fun with your friends no matter what and get a few drinks… you did it.

You managed to have fun and have a really good time with your real friends.

Even though you got your heart broken, you felt really bad and had to endure that ugly sharp pain in your chest along with all that sadness, pain, anger and disappointment…. you drank and forgot about everything to focus on the moment.

You even met new people, all friends of Ryan's.

The next day, in Sara's room at the dorm, you didn't even remember their names or almost half of the things that happened at the party.

Until she reminded you herself and showed you videos of everyone together with those people dancing and having a good time.

Then, remembering what had happened before you decided to have fun, you felt that urge to cry again.

Fortunately Sara didn't ask you about him, it was as if she had forgotten about him and you were thankful for that since you didn't have to talk to her about anything.

However, after Sara does you the favor of taking you home, even though the place doesn't really feel like that anymore, nervous, cautious and not really having the energy and courage to face him, you still open the door of the apartment and enter.

But you get the big surprise that he's not even here.

Incredulous, you think to yourself that he must have stayed with his girlfriend again. And you quickly attend to Vhagar and yourself, wanting to occupy your mind so that you don't seriously cry at that moment.

Did he really completely forgot my birthday?

You didn't even need to know, the answer to the question was pretty clear when you got to the apartment since he didn't show up for the rest of the day either.

And you didn't know if you felt grateful for it since you didn't want to see him or it made you feel worse about the fact that he really had completely forgotten you and your special day.

So the best you could do at that moment, was to take a bath, eat a little and then look for a job again around your area.

You want to keep your mind busy, you don't want to think about him, so you don't rest and you don't take your eyes off your phone until you find a job.

Until you finally find a job at a flower shop near the university as the store's receptionist and where the working hours fit your schedule perfectly. They don't ask for experience either.

That day, even though your head hurts and you still haven't recovered one hundred percent from the previous party, you take pills, get some rest and head to the flower shop.

And the next few days, it's back to living alone in the apartment.

Since you completely ignored Aemond's messages that night, neither you nor he have spoken again, not even a phone call.

You no longer ask him if he will come to eat, what special food he wants in case he does, where he is or where he spent the night.

You don't do it anymore because you no longer want to or care.

You also no longer do his laundry, the little he has here really, and now you simply clean up the mess you make and only buy food for yourself.

He probably has to come to the apartment when you are in class and you are grateful for that, even though you feel more broken inside every day that passes and you see again how he completely forgot your birthday.

He doesn't say anything to you, he doesn't even make the slightest effort, he doesn't see you and doesn't seem to have the intention of doing so any time soon.

Does it hurt? Yes, very much.

But you know you are no one to tell him what he can and can't do, who he can and can't be with.

Just as you don't have to remind him that it was your birthday, nor should you tell him that he forgot all about it.

He knows what he is doing, he makes his own decisions, he is no longer a child,… and neither are you.

That's why despite being very upset, sad and broken, really not wanting to you still force yourself to try to communicate with him.

You've got the job and there's a dorm room available at the residence halls, so now you just want to give him the key to the apartment.

Although nothing would be better than just leaving and nothing else, but you know you can't do that.

After all, he helped you a lot financially by offering you your own space here, basically for free.

But yet when you text and call him a few times as you start packing, he doesn't respond.

He responds very late at night only telling you that he's staying the night with Alys. And when you ask him if you can see each other and talk, he doesn't respond anymore.

Until more days go by and you unsuccessfully, feeling really annoyed with him, you tell yourself that enough is enough.

You ask Ryan to help you transport your things to your new home and you definitely break all ties with Aemond by bringing Vhagar with you as well.

With him pretending you no longer exist, as if he didn't have his best friend living with him, or apparently so it was, so now you also do the exact same thing.

You pretend he no longer exists and just walk away.

And now as you settle into your new home, which is not at all like where you used to live before, you still like it and tell yourself that you will get used to it soon.

It has nothing more than the small square space with your bed, your closet and desk, also a small bathroom.

You only have to buy a small refrigerator now while everything else like laundry is already offered by the residence on the first floor.

You know your room will be a small place for Vhagar but she doesn't seem to mind as she settles into your bed and falls asleep once you start unpacking.

Until the weekend comes and your friends make noise in the group chat saying they want to party on Saturday.

And you, thinking you wouldn't be in the mood, agree to go and have some fun.

It's already been a full week Monday through Saturday morning that you started your new job that you couldn't have liked any better. So you want to get all the stress out.

Most of all you want to get the sadness out of your system because of work, your classes and also because of him.

It's also been a full week since you moved, so not wanting anything to do with him anymore, you head to the one person you know will help you with the matter: Helaena.

Helaena also studies at the same university, she also lives in a dorm room, only that she studies biology.

So once you send her a message asking if the two of you can meet, she gladly accepts and you arrange to meet in her room.

And soon enough she finds herself opening her door to greet you.

"Hi Y/N!" she exclaims happily and wraps you in a soft hug, to which you smile.

"Hello Hel."

"Where have you been? I finally see you."

She asks you as she pulls away from you and looks at you a little confused, without erasing her charming smile.

"You know…" You shrug your shoulders, a little nervous, "I've been very busy with my classes."

And even though that's not the real reason, she still believes you.

"Oh yeah, sure, me too, it's a nightmare. Come on in."

She steps aside so you can come in and you do, immediately feeling nervous because you know you'll have to tell her about everything that happened with her brother.

"Even so, you didn't come to the ball."

Helaena says to you suddenly and you watch her as she closes the door behind her.

"I thought it was weird since you always go to my family's ball."

"Yes…" you say a little uncomfortable, "I… I did…

"But it seemed so weird to me that all of a sudden Aemond took his girlfriend when he said that…..

She stops suddenly, then looks at you with her eyes wide open, now softening her confused face, watching you intently.

"Oh, don't tell me," she murmurs.

And all you do is bite your lips and lower your gaze for a moment in sorrow.

"Don't tell me you didn't go because he took his girlfriend."

You let out a long breath and at that moment, taking advantage of the fact that she has already brought up the subject of him and his girlfriend, you decide to tell her everything that happened.

The ball, how you now live alone in his apartment when it wasn't supposed to be like that, his conversation with Alys, his irresponsibility with Vhagar and finally your birthday.

"Oh I'm going to kill that son of a…

"No, Hel, please."

You ask her, not wanting to talk about him anymore.

"It's all done now. I don't want to cause any more…

"You? Cause anything?" she interrupts you, incredulous, "Y/N, you couldn't cause anything, it's all caused by him and his obsession with that girl."

"She's his girlfriend," you say with pain in your chest, "It makes sense."

"Yeah, but you don't put your best friend down for a relationship, Y/N," she says obviously and with an annoyed tone, "And believe me when I tell you that when I met that girl she didn't give me any good vibes. Mother seemed to some point pleased, but Nyra with her look told me everything, so did Aegon and even my uncle Daemon."

"Really?"

You ask her really interested in it, since apparently you were not the only one who felt that way when you met Alys for the first time.

"Yes, really," she assures you, "They all asked about you, Daeron, Jace and Luke too."

You lower your gaze with a sad expression, since you haven't seen Aemond's little brother or his two nephews who have always been very kind and funny with you.

You are also struck by the fact that Aemond did not tell you that his family had been asking about you at the ball.

Maybe he did it so as not to make you feel bad.

"Aemond didn't even answer them, he didn't even seem to know what to say. He just immediately introduced them to his girlfriend," she says with a pout.

You let out a long breath.

"Well, I still get the idea of how much fun everyone had. I saw your pictures and videos on Instagram."

"I just can't believe he told you at the last minute when you already had everything ready that he was taking his girlfriend," she insists, really annoyed, "And yet after making plans the idiot forgot your birthday?" she inquires.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Hel, that was a little more than a week ago," you say not wanting to give more importance to the matter, "In fact, I came here because I wanted to know if you could do me a favor, now that we are talking about it."

Helaena, still annoyed to hear everything you told her, still nods.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I…

You bite your lips, feeling nervous to tell the sister of your best friend, or ex best friend rather, about the new chapter of your life.

Mostly because after this, Aemond will finally know everything soon enough.

"I've gotten a job in a flower shop and I've also moved into a dorm. Don't worry, I have brought Vhagar with me, now I will take care of her."

You assure her the instant you know she would ask you about Vhagar.

"And even though I didn't want to, I had to try to communicate with Aemond, but he never responded and I never saw him around the apartment, so I just left because I couldn't delay any longer. To this day he doesn't even know anything."

Again Helaena's soft, tender face contorts in anger.

"That fucking son of a….

"So…" you interrupt her, taking the things from your backpack, "Here is the key to the apartment and also this envelope with money to pay him for the troubles."

You look at her with a certain sadness and with the hope in your face that she will take care of this after Helaena sees everything in your hands and again returns her gaze to yours.

"Could you hand it over to him, please?"

And now it is Helaena's turn to look at you sadly and with compassion as she looks at your hurt face and understands what you went through and what you are going through now.

"Oh, Y/N…" she says disappointedly, "I'm so sorry for my stupid brother."

And again she pulls you in a soft and comforting hug that you allow since you really need it, even though you avoid breaking down crying at that moment.

You know Helaena probably won't tell him anything, but you still don't want to cry in the arms of your ex-best friend's sister.

"Don't worry, Hel. And nothing that happened with him will affect our friendship either," you assure her in a sad voice.

"No, of course not," she says instantly, hugging you a little tighter.

After a few more moments like that, they both separate and Helaena takes the key and the envelope with the money.

That money was sent to you monthly by your parents and you decided to give it to him. Now with your job at the flower shop, you can get that money back for your needs.

But for now it feels good to give it to Aemond because despite hearing that horrible conversation between him and his girlfriend, you do it mostly to feel better about yourself.

And after talking a few more moments with Helaena, you both finally say goodbye and you walk through her door.

You both agree that one of these days you could go for a coffee together. And just as you are about to leave, Helaena stops you with her words.

Words that leave you completely still, and then you look at her again with a slight surprise on your face.

"I always believed and hoped that you and Aemond would end up together, you know," she says with a sad little smile, "I know you were best friends, but I always had a feeling, always.

At that moment… how you wished her words would have been true.

How you would have wanted that to happen.

You think with illusion, sadness and disappointment, and then just try to smile even a little in her direction, say goodbye one last time and leave.

Later that night, after crying a little and trying to cheer yourself up by getting ready to go to the party with your friends, you arrive at the frat house and the party starts right then and there.

At first, cautious, you are kept alert by the fact that Aemond could probably be here with his girlfriend or with his friends, or maybe both.

But fortunately for you, there is no silver-haired guy with a black haired girl in the crowd, so you can feel at peace.

Immediately the party games like beer pong and drinking begin.

Until at some point of the party, you realize while talking and having fun with Aileen, that again Ryan's friends have joined the group, three guys exactly.

And as you're all dancing together, having a good time, you're drinking and forgetting about everything, really enjoying yourself, you suddenly find yourself dancing and singing the songs at the top of your lungs with one of Ryan's friends, Cregan Stark.

A tall guy, dark brown hair, with black eyes and features that can't go unnoticed.

Cregan seems to have his eye on you and you have yours on him.

Eventually the two start talking, being close, dancing together, even taking pictures and videos of each other, and then the two sit on one of the sofas and continue talking.

The two very close to each other to the point of almost kissing.

Maybe it was the alcohol, the moment, the party or just that you wanted to have this kind of moments with some guy, because Cregan is really handsome and you really wanted to kiss him.

However, all the guys arrived just at that moment to keep you company and rest a bit after having been dancing for a while.

Cregan didn't seem to mind, you didn't really either, you both just smiled at each other, although he had that little disappointment on his face from the interruption.

It remained as that pending between you and that's why he asked for your number.

The next day, apparently that interaction and closeness between you and Cregan was noticed by everyone, but more so by your friends who squeal and excitedly talk about him and you.

You find out that he's a law student, a year older than you, likes dogs, plays the guitar, and apparently isn't dating anyone.

You didn't want to get your hopes up with him, because you knew that meeting a guy and him suddenly having an interest in you at a party is usually not a long-term interest and is just for the moment.

But the expectation went up the moment he texts you and asks you if you want to have coffee with him on Tuesday morning before you both have your respective classes.

And you respond, or well, your friends respond more excitedly than you, that you accept.

"Girl, the guy is handsome, tall, funny and a really nice guy, what more could you ask for?"

And in that, Aileen is right. However… there is a problem. And that problem has a name: Aemond.

Aemond has ruined every guy for you in many ways, both physically and personality-wise.

And even though he wasn't like that, he really was a very bad friend to you and all his decisions hurt you. That's why agreeing to date Cregan is easy.

You also tell yourself that Aemond doesn't matter anymore. He has a girlfriend, he's living his life apart, and so are you, and you and he are no longer friends.

So once Cregan tells you that he is already waiting for you outside your dorm, you rush out.

Excitedly you take one last look in your mirror, make sure nothing is out of place, also make sure Vhagar is okay and head for the door to leave with your backpack on your shoulder and your phone in hand.

But when you opened the door, you clearly didn't expect to see your ex-best friend about to knock on your door with a totally bewildered, confused, worried and to some extent distressed and desperate look on his face.

"Y/N...

And you are totally paralyzed the moment your name leaves his lips.

At first, you don't understand what he is doing here or how he knew exactly where you were now since you didn't tell Helaena anything about your new home.

In fact, you didn't say anything to anyone he and you know together. However, you do know him.

You know that he just by asking anyone he can find out anything he wants to know, including finding people, simply because he is Aemond Targaryen.

And then you start to panic and you feel very nervous because he's really here.

"W-what are you doing here?" you ask him in a bewildered whisper.

In an instant you tense up and hold tightly to the edge of your door, watching him intently and alertly.

"What am I doing here?" he asks in a totally bewildered voice, "What are you doing here?" he says, now certainly annoyed.

"I-I don't… I don't have time for this, okay?"

You try to walk past him, bearing in mind that Cregan is waiting for you outside and you don't want to keep him waiting any longer.

But you can't stop your heart from beating too fast and you can't stop this agonizing feeling in your gut at the sight of him now after so many weeks.

"Are you serious?"

He stops you by taking your arm in a firm grip, making you stand in front of him again, with the most bewildered, confused and annoyed look you've ever seen on his face.

"I come home calling you, wanting to talk to you, having this stupid idea that you were busy or something, only to find out that Vhagar isn't there, neither are you and neither are your things," he says to you incredulously, "I thought something bad had happened to you Y/N, I was so worried. I started to go crazy because I couldn't even call you or send you messages, nothing was getting through to you."

And at that moment, everything you were feeling, is replaced by hatred and anger for very clear reasons and that he, seeming surprising to you, doesn't see or even realize.

He probably wanted to talk to you about your birthday, but he couldn't call or text you because since you moved out and he had no idea, you decided to block him from everywhere.

But really, even though you feel weak from his unexpected appearance, his words don't make you feel anything but hurt and angry.

"And do you have any fucking idea how it made me feel when I called Helaena and she told me you got a job and moved into a fucking dorm just making everything worse?" he asks you annoyed, "All this without me having a fucking idea, Y/N."

The way he tells you everything, you immediately tell yourself that you won't react the same way even though all that flows through your system is one thing: anger.

So instead of talking to him in annoyance because you don't want to and don't have the time to explain yourself more than necessary, you talk to him calmly in comparison to him.

He is visibly frustrated and looks more bewildered than ever.

"Maybe you would have known… if you had answered my calls or messages, Aemond. Or if you had shown up even once at your apartment."

And you overemphasize your apartment.

"All that was over a week ago, much longer in fact, and you barely care to know about me or Vhagar," you say bitterly.

He shakes his head, looking more distressed and worried than before.

"I-I…" He lets out a long breath, "And what the fuck is this supposed to mean?"

He asks you again in annoyance, clearly after he has no idea what to say to the previous and from his jacket pocket he takes out the money you gave to Helaena for him and also the key to his apartment.

"For your troubles?" he raises the money in annoyance, "And the key for what? Are you really going to stay here definitely?"

"The money is because I didn't give you a single penny to help you financially and the key so you have more privacy with Alys every time you get home and I don't have to be there locked up in my room… stopping you," you explain without much interest, "That's what you wanted, isn't it?" you raise your eyebrows expectantly at him.

But he is speechless, staring at you in surprise, bewilderment and anguish, his whole worried expression speaking for itself.

"Did you…" he pauses in concern, "Did you hear us that night?"

You deliberately ignore his question.

"You wanted me to meet new people and go out more, also give you your privacy…well, I'm doing exactly that. Now leave and don't ever come back."

And without further ado you close the door behind you firmly and walk away from him to head for the stairs and finally leave to meet Cregan.

But because of the circumstances and everything Aemond must be feeling, he doesn't let you go so easily.

"Hey, no, stop," he says in a warning tone and then grabs your arm and immobilizes you as you turn towards him.

"Let go of me."

"Y/N…

"I have to go. Someone is waiting for me."

"Y/N, please…" he calls pleadingly, "You don't have to lie, I-I…" he runs a hand over his frustrated and anguished face, "Was all this for your birthday?"

At his question, you say nothing, just continue to stare at him with the most serious look ever, now just pressing your lips together and waiting for him to let go so you can leave.

"Y/N…" he calls you cautiously and with worry in his eyes, "I know I fucked up, I know that….

"Oh please, Aemond," you exclaim irritated, "I don't need any more of your pity, okay? I really don't care what you have to say, it's all done. I gave you the key back and the money too, didn't I? Now you won't have to pity me anymore and your girlfriend will be pleased to know that I won't interfere with your plans anymore."

He lets out a long breath, more frustrated than before and completely irritated by your words.

"It doesn't matter what you heard that night, Y/N. It doesn't matter what Alys said either," he tells you in desperation.

But you don't care anymore.

"I've done my part, now leave me alone."

Again you try to leave but he again won't let you go.

"Will you stop running away!? I want to talk to you, I want to fix this!" he says in exasperation, "I don't want your key and I certainly don't want your fucking money, I want you back with me!"

And that's when you can't take it any longer and you finally explode in anger at him.

"Now you want me to be with you after always leaving me out of all the plans we made for your girlfriend and leaving me living alone!? Do you really think I even want to see you and be in the same place as you after everything you done!?"

He is about to answer you, but a third voice between you stops him and also the whole discussion between the two of you.

"Y/N?"

Both you and Aemond turn your heads and from the stairs Cregan Stark looks curiously between you and Aemond, almost worried.

You know your screams must have been heard all the way to the first floor considering your room is on the second.

"Is everything all right here?" he asks you softly and attentively, turning to you.

Feeling embarrassed that he might have heard everything, which is most likely, you finally loosen your grip on Aemond and control yourself by telling yourself that it's all over now.

"Yes, everything is fine," you put on your best face, or try to, "Sorry, I was on my way out. I didn't want to keep you waiting too long."

"No, it's fine," he says nonchalantly, "Although I did come to hurry you a little," he confesses with a small, embarrassed smile, "At the coffee shop we're going to, the coffee you like is on promotion, but only until ten o'clock, so I want to get there to buy it for you."

In other circumstances, Cregan's words would have made you feel on the clouds, but because of what was happening before and with Aemond present, his words have no effect on you.

Especially because of Aemond's confused and intimidating look at Cregan, clearly annoyed by the interruption, as well as wanting to know who this guy is and realizing that you really had someone waiting for you.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go," you nod in his direction, "He was just leaving too."

You say with a certain bitter and obvious tone turning your head towards Aemond, but without looking at him to which you immediately feel his gaze on you, but you ignore him.

And not wanting to keep Cregan waiting any longer, you head towards him, take him by the arm and lead him along with you towards the stairs, leaving Aemond behind.

After you and Cregan start heading towards the coffe shop, you try to pay attention to everything he tells you, but you can't.

You pretend to listen to him and collaborate a little in his conversation, feeling bad about yourself but you can't help it since all you can think about is Aemond.

And even though Cregan tries to bring up the subject, clearly because it's obvious he heard you were arguing, you quickly evade him.

However, he tells you that he believes he has seen Aemond before and has heard a lot about him. Also of his sister, Helaena.

But overall, this going out or rather date? with Cregan… did not turn out as you expected and as you wanted it to because of Aemond's unexpected visit to your new home.

And once again, you find yourself out of balance because of what happened with him now.

Latch by Disclosure and Sam Smith is heard throughout the house of the most popular party frat house and the one that never disappoints.

At first, you thought about not partying with your friends and Cregan since you weren't in the mood and didn't want to have to deal with a hangover the next day.

However, Cregan is the one who convinces you and now the two of you are dancing along with all your other friends having a good time, singing at the top of your lungs and forgetting about everything.

The whole party is going amazing, you're still not drinking too much, you're having fun with your friends and Cregan most of all.

Until you are catching your breath to continue dancing with Cregan, both of you apart and talking, suddenly your gaze is focused on the entrance of the house and Aemond Targaryen makes an appearance holding Alys' hand with all his friends also entering behind him.

Instantly you want to leave, because you know you don't feel comfortable now with the presence of your ex best friend knowing what happened the last time you saw each other.

And even more so when he notices you standing apart, with that guy from before, the two of you very close and talking, now realizing your presence.

But you pretend not to see him even though your heart starts beating fast when you feel his gaze.

When you stop feeling that he is looking at you, then you see him and still holding hands with Alys both of them go to the kitchen. And that's when you say to yourself: no.

He is not going to ruin this party with your friends. He came here for the sole purpose of having fun, which is the point of the party and so are you.

You decide to leave the feelings behind and continue having fun as before.

You drink some more, resume dancing, singing and playing party games, just forget about him and focus on you, what you are doing and the people around you.

When in the kitchen, while you are pouring more drinks for Cregan and yourself, something happens that you least expected and that causes you a lot of confusion at the same time.

However, somehow you must have known that Aemond would be coming for you.

"Y/N."

He calls out to you and when you look at him, you again meet his gaze a little worried but also hopeful that he might talk to you.

But of course, Alys must be by his side clinging to his right arm, watching you with a certain indifference.

And you, preferring a thousand times to ignore it, unfortunately still do not finish preparing the drinks, so you decide to act indifferent.

"Yes?" you say without even looking at him.

And just with your indifference, which Aemond notices perfectly, only makes him more frustrated, but not wanting to explode again against you, he can only try to relax and start with what he wants to say as calmly as possible so as not to push you away.

"Are you…" he swallows hard, looking at you apologetically and a bit nervously, "Are you enjoying the party?"

However, his question couldn't have been more pathetic for you.

"Yes, very much in fact."

You answer without further ado, putting everything back in its place to finally get out of the way and leave. And that's what you do, you turn around with your drinks in hand and walk away.

But he stops you instantly by standing in front of you.

"Y/N," he calls out to you pleadingly, "Can we go outside and talk, please?"

And you, wanting to take your indifference further, even more with Alys' presence, that's exactly what you do.

"About what?"

"About the other day," he tells you more cautious and attentive than before.

And you frown at him.

"Was there anything else to say?"

He lets out a long sigh.

"Y/N, please…

"There you are!"

Again Cregan's voice interrupts the conversation between the two of you and Cregan, without even noticing Aemond, turns to you with a small smile on his lips.

"I went to the bathroom for two seconds and I had already lost you," he says amused, "You need help?"

He points to the drinks and you nod.

"Yes," you extend one to him, placing a soft smile in his direction, "This one's yours, actually.

"Thank you, my pretty."

And maybe it had been again the interruption of the same boy from the other day, that makes Aemond can't help but feel annoyed.

But maybe it's more from the fact that he tenses up and watches him with a clenched jaw as he hears that word from him towards you.

Pretty.

Both he and you think, but you really couldn't care less as you watch between Cregan and him over the nickname.

And feeling Aemond's burning gaze, Cregan finally seems to notice the presence of Aemond Targaryen himself.

"Oh, hey," he smiles friendly, "Sorry, we've met before, haven't we?"

And Aemond, really annoyed, just bites the inside of his cheek and avoids showing his irritation, as well as the discontent he feels towards the guy.

"Yes," he says without looking at him, with a cutting tone, focusing again on you.

"Yes, sorry again," Cregan tells him again, "It's just that we weren't introduced."

And after Cregan says that, you're sorry but you want to murder him.

Especially since now Cregan is watching you too, already having the smoldering stare of your ex best at you and the guy you're apparently starting to have… something with.

Not to mention the judgmental and irritated look from Alys as well.

And you, having no choice, introduce them to each other.

"Aemond, this is Cregan, my friend," you point to Cregan, "And Cregan, this is Aemond, an old classmate at high school."

And finally you point to Aemond, without looking at him too much.

And again, everything in Aemond contracts and his whole bewildered look is reflected on his face after hearing your words.

Even Alys stirs in her place, watching Aemond intently.

A strange feeling in his chest invades him and all his disappointment, as well as his sadness, is reflected even though he tries not to be.

But the way you said it, your look, your attitude, everything about you makes him feel miserable and makes him recognize that he has definitely lost you.

Especially because after that, you don't waste any more time, you take Cregan by the hand and excuse both of you to go back to your friends, not wanting to be around him anymore.

After the party goes on, Aemond can't enjoy the moment. Even Alys next to him doesn't get his attention, neither do his friends.

All he sees is you, with him, the two of you dancing, laughing and close to each other.

He's certainly never seen you having fun like that before, never in the company of a guy he admits he recognizes; he seems like a really nice guy.

An unpleasant feeling turns his stomach and he feels it in his chest again when you laugh at something he has said, he slips an arm around your shoulders and leaves a kiss on your cheek.

His jaw tenses and he can't take his eye off of you, to some extent starting to annoy Alys by his lack of attention.

And Aemond loses it completely the moment he turns his face towards you, you turn your face towards him and the two of you kiss.

All the friendship that the two of you and Aemond used to have, you and Aemond, passes right in front of him in that moment.

Everything, from the beginning, from high school to college, with both of you moving into the apartment, having movie nights, having breakfast and dinner together, grocery shopping, everything.

As well as all the bad stuff caused by him, which he admits to, like all those nights he left you behind for Alys, the ball and your birthday.

Unable to take it anymore, totally ignoring Alys and everyone, with the hardest look on his face, he leaves the house in an act of desperation and

He moves away from all the people, from Alys, from you, because he can't see you having fun without him, he can't see you with other people, because it was always him.

And knowing that he was the one who caused your friendship to end, he takes a seat on the stairs leading to the house and starts smoking.

But even he doesn't understand himself.

Isn't this what you wanted?

His mind asks him, as confused as he is, who with a bad face and feeling like a complete idiot, continues smoking, thinking that it would be better to go back home.

But without you… it doesn't feel like that anymore.

He stays thinking for a long time, without Alys bothering to look for him, which he is grateful for since he has more time with himself.

While you, still at the party, continue drinking and sharing a kiss or two with Cregan, not really caring that you're among friends and other people.

But the moment with Cregan ends when he tells you that he has to leave, even showing you some messages from his sister asking him to pick her up at a party outside the university.

He asks you if you want him to leave you too, but you prefer to continue having fun for a while longer. You both say goodbye and stay with your friends.

Not long after, however, they all get really drunk. Even Ryan.

So as the four of you leave the house, ordering Uber's and laughing amongst yourselves, that's when Aemond sees you.

Confused, he throws the rest of his cigarette away and stands up from the stairs, watching you intently. And noticing your condition, he actually gets worried.

You can't even stand firmly on your feet.

And all you remember is having a brief conversation or discussion with someone, that someone also talking to Ryan, then you feel yourself being carried, you protest a little, and then all goes dark.

The moment you open your eyes, completely numb and feeling like a mess, the pain in your throat, body and head begins.

You groan under your breath, scrunching up your face and holding a hand to your forehead, feeling as if your head is about to explode in constant sharp pain.

You let out a sigh, closing your eyes and trying to calm yourself down so you can get through the pain easier, but it's impossible.

You drank too much, that's for sure, your body is confirming it. But what you don't know is where you are.

Alarmed, you quickly reopen your eyes and look around you, worrying because you don't remember who you left with last night and whether you came to your room or someone else's.

When your whole face contorts in confusion as you realize that this room is not yours, nor is it Sara's or Aileen's room. In fact, this room you know and you know it very well.

You open your eyes wide and don't understand anything, beginning to get seriously alarmed and worried.

What the fuck am I doing in Aemond's room?

You think to yourself as you force yourself to ignore all the internal pain you are feeling and get out of bed.

You quickly put on your shoes, make sure you have all your things with you and leave the room, hoping he's not here.

But of course he must be, because as you walk out into the hallway, with your things held against your chest, you hear sounds and very low music coming from the kitchen.

And as you slowly, cautiously approach, you see him, preparing breakfast, moving back and forth across the kitchen with his back to you.

Hopeful, you watch the door ahead a few feet away from you, then look cautiously again at Aemond, who fortunately has not noticed your presence.

You think to yourself that you could head for the door without making a sound and leave without him noticing. Being here with him in your old home doesn't please you, especially since you don't understand how you got here last night with him.

But you don't care, all you want to do is leave.

However, before you can try to do anything, he turns to grab something from the counter and sees you.

"Oh, you're awake," he says with a soft tone and a calm look.

At this, you don't say anything, you just watch him, hoping that by your look and your posture he understands that you already want to leave.

But he, at your lack of words, continues trying.

"You must be feeling very bad, you were very drunk last night. Here I have left you a glass of water and a pill, it will help you after you finish breakfast," he points to the bar, effectively pointing to a glass of water and a pill."

You look away from him for a second, wanting to let out a snort, since you definitely don't plan to stay here for breakfast and it's silly of him to think so just because you're here.

"What am I doing here?" you ask him, serious.

And by your tone of voice, Aemond is surprised and also disappointed, since he thought that things between you and him would never be like this again.

But how wrong he was.

Still, with relaxed posture and soft tone, he answers you to keep the peace as much as possible between the two of you and you don't leave, which is what he fears the most.

"You were very drunk last night, and so were all your friends," he explains.

"Ryan was supposed to take me and my friends to my doorm," you tell him seriously.

"Your friend was really drunk too, Y/N," he says in a more serious tone, "He couldn't handle the three of you. And I certainly wasn't going to let you go in that state, you could barely walk.

You press your lips together, thinking about the party and your friends, to again look at the door in front of you.

"Well… thank you, but I didn't need your help," you say curtly, "Not now either."

And without further ado you head for the door, catching Aemond unawares, who quickly reacts and stands in front of you, grabbing your arm.

"Y/N, please wait…

"I need to go.

"Where to?" he asks frustrated, not believing you.

"That doesn't concern you. I don't want to be here," you tell him annoyed, again trying to pass by his side, but he doesn't let you.

"Please," he repeats pleadingly, "Please don't do this anymore. Just stay."

"Let me go and let me pass," you warn him.

"At least just stay for breakfast," he insists desperately, "Let's talk and then I will take you to your dorm, I pro….

"Will you stop!?"

You explode furiously at him, unable to hold back any longer, feeling more headache and pain all over your body, but you don't care because you're tired, you're fed up and because you've had enough.

While he remains completely silent and observes you slightly surprised by your reaction, since he had certainly never seen you like this before.

At least not with him.

"I don't want to be here, I don't want to have breakfast with you, I don't want to talk to you and I don't want to see you!" you exclaim annoyed, "Can't you really see that? Can't you see that you and I are no longer friends? Can't you see that you're hurting me?"

"Y/N…" he says to you in a low tone, with a thread of voice: "Don't say that...

"You shouldn't have brought me here, you shouldn't have even tried to talk to me, because I don't want to talk to you, I want to get away from you and I want you to respect that!"

And without being able to stand it anymore, tears start to run down your cheeks, but you ignore it totally and continue watching Aemond with the most hurt look of all.

"Stop trying to play savior with me Aemond, because I've had enough."

"Playing savior with you?" he repeats in bewilderment, "Y/N, you are my best friend, I don't….

"No, that's not true, I'm not your best friend, I'm nothing!" you blurt out again furious, "A best friend doesn't hurt his best friend, doesn't leave her aside for a relationship, doesn't replace her, doesn't leave her living alone and certainly doesn't forget her fucking birthday, Aemond!"

Then again Aemond is speechless, watching you with his eye wide open, his lips half open, while you start crying in earnest, unable to control yourself.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," he says to you, in a low, broken-toned whisper.

"No, you're not!" you reproach him, upset, crying, feeling broken, "If you were really sorry, you would have apologized since after my birthday, not until now that weeks have passed," you tell him hurt, "And that hurts, Aemond, it hurts that until now you have realized it, that until now you are looking for me, always treating me as the second option!"

The first tear falls down Aemond's right cheek, looking at you with a hard, but still broken expression.

"I'm so sorry, I really am. I care about you, you know that….

"No, that's not true, you don't, you don't care about me!" you contradict him again, crying.

And finally you are able to pass by his side, leaving him in a state just as broken as you are, while you wipe your tears and try to control yourself, when you can't. You still want much, much more.

There is still much, much more you want to say and you say it as you stop before you touch the door and stare at Aemond with as much sadness, hatred and anger as you can.

"You left me aside for Alys, you included her and took me out of our plans, you left me living alone here with Vhagar, you forgot my fucking bir…

You stop, sobbing and breathing hard, trying to calm yourself down.

"You forgot my fucking birthday for her and her parents while I was waiting for you, believing your stupid promises so that in the end you never showed up and only to remember me weeks later and a real friend doesn't do shit like that to his best friend if he really cared, Aemond!" you tell him crying, "I never was that way with you and believe me that having a boyfriend even so I wouldn't have been."

Then everything, both for him and for you stops, because hearing you crying and seeing you so broken, leaves him completely immobile and as broken as you are by your words.

Words and feelings of yours that he had no idea about.

While you, unable to take it anymore, finally open the apartment door and leave, wanting to get away from here and him, because that's what you want and…. he lets you.

He doesn't go after you, like he would have, because your words, everything about you, has left him completely paralyzed. He had never seen you like that, so destroyed and in tears.

And that he was responsible for those reactions of yours, reactions that he hates to see in you, makes him feel more stupid and guilty than ever.

And at that moment he realizes, that this time he has definitely lost you and in a very bad way. He has lost his best friend because of his own actions.

He feels miserable. More miserable than you.

And after that… nothing was ever the same again, both for him and for you.

You didn't see each other again after what happened in his apartment, you didn't even hear from each other through social media, because you had blocked him from everywhere and that's just felt better.

The two of you continued with your classes and in separate ways, as before, only now he was also aware of it and not only you, now with the difference that the friendship between the two of you no longer exists.

To a certain point you knew that he was still having a relationship with Alys Rivers, while you, you had to realize that starting something with Cregan, something more formal, would not be possible, at least not on your part.

You are still so in love with your best friend and so hurt that you didn't want to start something with Cregan knowing that you didn't feel anything beyond that for him. You didn't want him to be your distraction, because it wasn't right.

Your distraction was something else, something you still don't know what it is but you desperately need. Until two weeks after what happened with Aemond, that distraction showed up.

At the end of another semester of your career, an exchange program was opened for the next semester with destinations to Winterfell, the Iron Islands, Casterly Rock, Highgarden and Dorne.

There were also destinations to Essos, but you decided it would be best to go to Highgarden since with your excellent academic record, you entered the program with all expenses paid.

At the same time that you would go to classes, you would also have your internship with one of the best psychologists by being his assistant and start training yourself with his cases. You would even get paid for it.

The semester lasts six months, six months away from Kings Landing, that being exactly what you need.

So after going through all the necessary processes, you were finally given a departure date to Highgarden to begin a brief but important chapter in your life.

You gave the news to your parents, who were happy for you, wished you much success, and even let Helaena know who texted you to ask how you were doing. You never tried to talk to him.

And after the day arrives, happy and at ease with yourself, you board the plane taking Vhagar with you and hope that this will help you put it all behind you.

While still at Kings Landing University, in one of the coffee shops on campus, Helaena and Aemond Targaryen enjoy a good coffee, both serious, not talking much, just him and Helaena lost in their thoughts.

Helaena let him know the news and honestly, he doesn't know how to feel.

He is happy for you, but knowing that you are gone and will be back in up to six months, with no more friendship between the two of you, makes him feel even more miserable.

"She's in love with you, you know?"

The sweet voice of his sweet sister makes Aemond, in a fatal state, as if he hadn't slept well for days, raise his gaze towards her without really having much expression.

As Helaena shows him with her gaze how terribly honest she is being with him at that moment.

"She didn't tell me anything, but I just know," she explains.

And Aemond again lowers his gaze, running a hand over his chin, letting out a long breath.

"You really fucked up, Aemond. I can't believe you were such an idiot."

"I know," he says in a low, emotionless whisper, "You don't have to say it again, I know."

"So what then?" she says, "Get that brilliant brain of yours working. You can't be the smartest guy in your class and at the same time the biggest idiot with the girl who has always been there for you."

He shakes his head, only feeling worse just talking about you.

"Hel, I don't want to…

"Are you really going to let her go?"

His sister interrupts him with a look more expectant than ever, watching him attentively, while he swallows hard and observes with a serious and sad look Helaena in front of him.

And he doesn't answer because he doesn't want to, but because he doesn't have an answer to that question, mostly because he hadn't thought about it before.

Will I really let her go?

He asks himself, but the truth is… he doesn't know.

Aemond knows it's already too late but he also feels that that's not entirely true. Maybe, just maybe… he has another chance. And his last.

thank you very much for reading and for joining me in this short way, it makes me so happy that you liked cardigan very much, there are more stories for you on the way, wait for them:)

besides, there's still the epilogue, that's when we'll say goodbye to this story for good🥺❣

@letmeloveyouuuu @ohdemimonde @carriellie @jennifer0305 @serving-targaryen-realness @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @ttkttt @melllinaa @nyenye @hoziersfairy @introverbatim @happinessinthebeing @hnslchw @padfooteyes @riseandreigns4u @shessthunderstoms @strangersunghoon @aemondslefteyeball @1950schick @ammo23 @targaryenmoony

there were many of you that I could not add to the taglist, an apology.

[gulliblelemon]

gulliblelemon's fics

I thought I should probably have a place where I put all of my fics together and update as I go. I don't want to put this as my pinned post - I like having my fic recs there! But I'll link to this so hopefully it's not too hard to find. I've tried to be accurate with my genre tags, but it's well-known that my angst barometer is broken. If you think I've got any wrong, let me know!

If you're after a particular vibe I've also done separate posts for genre here: angsty, hurt/comfort, fluffy, pining, long fics, short fics

Please Try Again Later (canon-div, T, 32k) - angst, hurt/comfort What would have happened if Simon was around when Wille got the call about Erik.

Happy 18th, Crown Prince Wilhelm (post-canon-div, G, 4.3k) - fluff Canon divergence from end of s2. Outsider's POV of Wille's 18th birthday celebrations if he hadn't stepped down.

What Would I Do Without You? (AU series, T, 37k) - fluff, angst, hurt/comfort How things might have gone differently if Wille and Felice were already best friends before Hillerska. Starts with some (very) fluffy one shots, gets angstier.

i want it to be easier (canon, T, 1.4k) - pining Missing moment with Simon, Rosh and Ayub from s2e5 after "Did he just say he'd give up the crown for you?"

See You (Soon) (AU, T, 18k) - fluff, pining Wille didn't go to Hillerska but sees Simon at the jubilee. And does everything in his power to see him again. And again.

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Making Music (AU, M, 15k) - fluff, pining A non-royal AU where both Simon and Wilhelm are on a three week intensive music course in the old Hillerska building.

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Ally Wherever You Land (canon-div, M, 46k) - (light) fluff, (light) angst, pining, (light) hurt/comfort The initiation scandal breaks before Wilhelm is enrolled at Hillerska. Erik finds himself having to win the public's approval and recruits Wilhelm's help, along with a Hillerska student who might raise Erik's profile within the LGBTQ+ community: Simon Eriksson.

[marwritesgood]

Come Back to Me | S. Harrington

Pairing: Steve x Hopper!Reader

Timeframe: Season 4

Summary: A long anticipated reunion, but nothing was going to plan.

previous part

series masterlist // main masterlist

a/n: its good to be back :) adding a lil author’s note in the comment section regarding this pt x

December, 1978

Y/n couldn't sleep.

She wasn't sure what time it was. She wasn't sure how long it had been since her mom told her it was lights out, or how long she had been staring at the ceiling since, haunted by the silence. Time moved much differently now. Everything was different without Sara.

Knowing there was no chance she would be sleeping anytime soon, Y/n sat up shifted out from beneath her comforter, and carefully opened her bedroom door. As she crept closer to the kitchen, careful not to make too much noise to wake her parents, she realised her dad had already beaten her to the freezer.

“Y/n?" Hopper squinted and switched the kitchen light on to be sure. She looked a tired mess, but then again, so did he. “Bug, what are you still doing up?”

Y/n sighed, doubling back, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. Explaining herself to either one of her parents had become something she dreaded. It was the very reason she tried to limit her conversations with them altogether, not that they made it all that difficult.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

To her surprise, Hopper smiled. It was faint and hidden behind a sigh of his own, but it was there. Y/n wasn't sure why she was expecting a lecture followed by an order to go back to her room, but she knew she was grateful such a reaction was nowhere in sight.

“Me neither," Hopper replied, his eyes dancing between the floor and the door to the freezer. He looked back to his eldest daughter, now his only daughter, and pursed his lips. “I know it’s more of you and your mom’s thing but… I could really go for some ice cream right about now.”

Y/n smiled weakly, a quiet chuckle slipping out from between her lips.

“Me too.”

She took her seat at the dinner table and Hopper followed suit shortly after with a tub of ice cream and two spoons. They ate together in silence, each stealing quick glances at the other from time to time, both grateful for the precious moment in time where there was no expectation of them to do or be anything other than a father and his daughter eating ice cream in the middle of the night.

***

March, 1979

Y/n couldn't sleep.

She couldn't remember the last time she was able to, but she knew there was no chance of her being able to for a hell of a long time now. Every time she came close to drifting off, all she could see was her mom and Sara, two faces she would never be able to see again.

However, this time was different. This time, she drifted off for only a moment before waking up abruptly, a panicked mess. Her chest moved rapidly as she heaved, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to calm herself down, but to no avail.

Desperate for something, anything, to soothe her, she sprinted to the kitchen barefoot, too numb to feel anything much less the ground beneath her. Instinctively, she opened the freezer, hoping a few spoonfuls of ice cream would be enough to bring some sense back to her body, only to be met with emptiness.

It seemed three weeks of avoiding the groceries had finally caught up to the Hopper household.

As she shut the freezer close, the front door swung open. Hopper came stumbling in, barely bothering to close the door shut behind him, much less look where he was going. Y/n realised that this was routine for him as she watched him navigate his way through the clutter and rubbish and into his bedroom. He didn't even notice her standing in the kitchen, still hyperventilating, still a panicked mess.

This was how it was, she realised, and this was how it would be for a hell of a long time. With half of their family gone, it seemed only inevitable. Y/n stood frozen in the dark for a while, haunted and paralysed by the silence. She didn't feel like she was anyone's daughter, and it didn't feel like Hopper was anyone's dad anymore.

It appeared that they were nothing more than two ghosts tethered to a house, they no longer wanted to be in, but in no way tethered to each other anymore.

***

April, 1980

After listening to him fumble with his keys for a solid ten minutes, Y/n watched from the kitchen as Hopper came stumbling into their home. She cleared her throat.

“Where have you been?”

Hopper stumbled back, startled that Y/n was still awake. His breath hitched when he realised the look she had on her face. He knew this was an all-time low for him, but he felt too far-gone to abandon the habits he had developed over the past year, however bad they were.

“There was a holdup at the-“

“Are you drunk again?” Y/n's voice was loud and angry, sobering Hopper up completely for a split second. She kissed her teeth and shook her head. “Dad, come on, you promised me.”

This was not the first time Hopper had been called out on having too much to drink, and at the rate he was going at, Y/n knew it would not be the last. She hated the person he was turning into and hated herself for giving him the benefit of the doubt so many times.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, trying to stand straight and still, but failing miserably to do so. As he continued to sway, struggling to keep his balance, Y/n's brows drew closer together as she remembered the hellish evening she had to endure on her own.

“You know everyone was asking where you were.”

And naturally so, Y/n told herself. It was his wife's and his daughter's memorial and he was nowhere to be seen. Their friends and family came from all across the Midwest, but he couldn’t despite being in the same town.

“I’m sor—“

“Aunt Jenna kept telling me I was always welcome to go to her place in Michigan," Y/n interrupted him, her voice growing louder as she grew angrier just recounting the conversation.

Telling her she was welcome to come over anytime meant they had no faith in her dad’s ability to look after her, which Y/n resented and refused to play into.

"I had to lie to everyone, just to keep them from asking questions ab—“

“Dammit, Y/n, I said I was sorry!”

She gulped, taken aback by his outburst, but willing herself not to flinch or let it go. He had gone too far that night, and she was done giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Hopper's shoulders slumped and he drew in a sharp breath, regret seeping in almost instantly. He hated what his habits did to his temper, but not enough to resist what it did to his grief.

“I really am…" Hopper whispered, his feet finally steadying. "I’m sorry, bug.”

Usually that would be enough. A short apology and a half-hearted promise not to do it again and she would be off to her room and he'd be free to sleep the night off. This time, however, Y/n crossed her arms and clenched her jaw, giving Hopper the impression it wasn't enough. Far from it.

“You know, I wish you’d stop apologising and just be better, dad."

Her voice was as cold and piercing as the stony glare she unmistakably targeted at him. He lost her faith in him bit by bit over the course of the past year. Now, she was sick to death of his empty words.

Hopper winced. It was fair, part of him knew that. However, at the same time, an overwhelming part of him continued to scream that it was unfair. All of it.

He went to speak but found a quiet so escaping his lips.

“I just... I miss them so much.”

“I know, I miss them too," Y/n whispered softly, giving Hopper the impression that she was finally letting it go.

But, instead, her glare grew more piercing.

“That’s why I showed up to their fucking memorial," she hissed before going to her room and slamming the door shut.

Hopper collapsed onto the couch, but he couldn't sleep the night off. Instead, he laid awake, staring at the ceiling as it continued to spin, the sound of Y/n's voice echoing all night in his head. It was all unfair.

***

November, 1982

Y/n’s eyes closed and she was hoping to get even a few minutes of shut-eye but her father was not going to let that happened. It was bad enough she had to endure a lecture from him at the station, in front of her friends from school.

“You’re lucky officer Robinson recognised you and told me, otherwise you’d be spending the night at station with everyone else.”

Hopper gripped the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles were beginning to turn pale. He gave his daughter a quick sideways glance before ultimately deciding it was in both of their best interest he kept his eyes on the road.

“Lucky me,” Y/n muttered, not even bothering to open her eyes, her head still rested against her window. She desperately hoped he would just move on already, but from the audible huff he let out, Y/n knew he still had much to say to her.

“What were you even thinking? Anything could have happened to you.”

Hopper's heart sank when he got the dispatch call from Robinson. The entire drive back to the station, all he could think of was all the sorts of trouble his daughter could have been in had she not been taken in.

Y/n was quiet for a moment. Letting out a sigh, she opened her eyes and looked at Hopper momentarily before turning back to the view outside her window. Maybe it wasn't the wisest choice, but underage drinking at a house party definitely beat sitting at home alone on a Saturday night for the millionth time in a row.

“…You’re never home,” she mumbled quietly.

“That’s no excuse, Y/n.”

He was right. It was no excuse. Not for her at least. Him not being home never stopped her from keeping the house in somewhat order, keeping her grades up at school and staying out of trouble. There was no doubt Y/n had it in her to do everything expected of her, but it wasn’t fair that for all she did for her dad, the favour was never paid back.

Y/n bursted into a fit of quiet cries.

"Bug?" Hopper's voice and expression softened completely. "Bug what’s going on?"

The fact that he didn't know made Y/n's tears multiply. Usually the lonely Saturday nights didn't bother her quite as much, but it was the anticipating sitting alone at home again the following week that really tore her up.

"It’s my birthday next week."

"Oh."

She wiped her tears and looked down at her fingers, too upset to look at her dad but too prideful to continue to cry in front of him. Things were so different now, and she hated it. More than anything, Y/n wanted things to be how they were before when there were four of them and not just two.

"Mom used to make my favourite for dinner and bake my favourite cake and we’d all eat together. But you’re never home and mom and Sara are…" Y/n couldn't bring herself to say it aloud, knowing if she did the waterworks would return. She sighed, leaning her head back and squeezing her eyes shut. "I’m just so sick of being alone."

Hopper was quiet. His grip on the steering wheel loosened. Suddenly, he felt like the biggest jerk for scolding Y/n instead of realising she was hurting. He hoped it was not too late to make things right.

"Let’s do dinner."

Y/n glance at him for a second and then let out a scoff. She had heard enough empty promises from him to know better than to trust anything that came out of his mouth.

"I’m serious, bug," he added, knowing what that scoff meant. "I’ll get off early and pick you up from work and we’ll have dinner together here. Just like we used to."

Y/n studied him closely, unsure what to make of his proposal.

"You promise?"

"I promise, bug." Hopper didn't miss a beat. "I’ll make it happen."

Y/n felt her worries ease.

"Ok. But I’ll make dinner for us," she insisted, knowing if it was one less thing her dad had to worry about, it was all the more easier for him to follow through. "You just have to pick me up, ok?"

"Ok," Hopper spoke softly, smiling when Y/n closed her eyes and leaned against her window again. It seemed easy enough to do.

***

April 6th, 1986

Joyce’s weird demeanour made Y/n nervous to open the door to her bedroom, but when she did, that feeling vanished instantly. He was half his weight, bald and beard-less, but there was no mistaking it. It was him, and he was standing up from the edge of her bed and smiling at her. Y/n’s eyes watered and she inhaled a shaky breath, her voice a croaky hushed whisper as she spoke in disbelief.

“Dad?”

She closed the door behind her and stepped in cautiously. The last time she saw her dad was through the vision Vecna showed to her. Y/n felt her chest tighten as mind struggled to decipher whether this necessitated her flight or fight response. Before she could make her mind up, Hopper had pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, quickly becoming choked up by it all.

Seeing her again and hugging her again, it made the previous 8 months of hell worth every excruciating second.

Y/n didn’t know whether to scream or burst out crying. It didn’t make sense. For that reason, she couldn’t bring herself to trust it just yet. Pulling away gently, she placed her hands on the side of his face, revelling in the fact that it was him. It was her dad.

“I-I thought you were…” Y/n shook her head, tears rolling down her face. “Is it really you?”

After everything at Starcourt, part of her did humour the idea that maybe her father didn’t die, but she quickly dismissed that trail of thought as a coping mechanism. She knew holding out for a miracle would do her no good.

“I’m right here, bug,” Hopper smiled.

Y/n’s tears were free falling the second he called her bug, something she had accepted no one would ever call her again. She shook her head and hugged her dad tightly, savouring the feeling of his embrace but also revelling in the fact that she didn’t need to. He was not dead.

After they pulled away, the two of them sat on the edge of Y/n’s bed and found themselves crying the laughing then sniffling then doing it all again, all while briefly going over the obvious changes.

Y/n joked about her dad’s hair and he brought up the way she rearranged her room. Y/n asked what happened to him and he muttered something about a prison and Russia and how he would bore her with the finer details later. Y/n’s heart swelled at the reminder that there was a later. That he was no going anywhere. That he was not dead.

“So… you and Steve?”

“Yeah,” Y/n chuckled. That was another reminder that made her heart swell. She had Steve as well as her dad now. They both came back her. “He’s done a lot of growing up, and he’s never left my side.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Hopper smiled.

Whatever reservations he once had about the Harrington kid, none of it mattered to him anymore. Y/n confirmation that he stuck by her, that counted for everything to Hopper.

Y/n studied her father closely, her concern growing tenfold as she noticed remnats of cuts and brusises across his face and along his arms. She hated to think about what it took for him to get out of the Russian prison or what the effects would do to him.

“Dad, are you ok? Are you… are you gonna be ok?”

Hopper reached for hand and squeezed it three times.

“Yeah, bug,” he assured her. “I mean… it was rough, obviously, but… I made it home.”

He hoped that was enough to cast her worries at bay, but by her unchanging expression, he knew there was something else bother her.

“Dad, I’m so sorry for what I said,” Y/n wept. It was the one thing she had spent the past few months desperately wanting to tell him. “I didn’t mean it, I swear.”

At least not in any way that made it ok to say to him, she reconciled.

Hopper squeezed her hand again and shook his head dismissively.

“It doesn’t matter.”

He kissed the top of her head and gave her a reassuring smile which she returned only without the sincerity. Something about his response did not sit right with her. While Y/n couldn't quite put her finger on it, she knew part of it was her hope that in being the first to say sorry, he would finally come around to saying it back.

Before more could be said, the sound of another vehicle pulling into the driveway travelled through Y/n’s open window. Hopper’s eyes lit up.

“I think that’s El and the others.”

He shifted to stand up, but Y/n kept him from doing so.

“Stay here, dad. I’ll get her for you.”

Part of her wanted a break from talking to Hopper, while the other desperately wanted for El to have her own time with their dad. Y/n knew that if seeing her dad alive and well made her heart swell the way it did, El’s reaction would only be bigger.

The van they drove in on was what Y/n recognised as Argyle’s ride. She barely made it off the front porch before being enguled by the all too familiar embrace of her littler sister.

“Y/n!” El was beaming, unable to keep stil as she hugged her big sister firmly. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you so much,” Y/n replied, running her hand over El’s shaven head and the squeezing her tightly. Nothing compared to the real deal.

“I’m so happy you’re ok,” El exclaimed after pulling apart from Y/n.

She hoped her sister had made it out ok, but there was no way of knowing for sure until they made it home. The entire drive to Hawkins, El’s stomach was in knots as she kept remembering the sight of Y/n laying unconscious in Steve’s arms.

“Yeah, I owe you one.” Thought parts of that night were still hazy to Y/n, she remembered El saving her clearly and vividly. “… I owe you a massive one.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” El replied instantly.

It was nothing Y/n wouldn’t have done for her had the roles been reversed. It was a nice change saving her for once when, for the last few years of El’s life, Y/n had been saving her.

“I have so much to tell you.”

“Me too,” Y/n smiled inconspicuously. “But first, you need to go to my room.”

“What?”

Her confusion made Y/n chuckle. Suddenly, Joyce’s demeanour earlier made a lot of sense.

“Just… trust me,” Y/n grinned, gently pushing El up the front porch steps. “We’ll catch up after.”

“Promise?” The younger girl turned around and held her pinky up. Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and looped her pinky with El’s, prompting her to turn back around and follow her sister’s instructions.

Watching El walk into the room where Hopper waited with illuminated eyes, a familiar knot began to form in Y/n’s stomach and she hated it fiercely.

***

April 9th, 1986

There was never a conversation about all the changes that would be made to the living arrangements at the cabin. When Steve, the Wheelers and Dustin went home, the Byers stayed and set up camp in the living room.

Y/n didn’t mind, at least not at first. However, the more Hopper, El and the Byers began to settle in, the more she found herself becoming irritated at the little disruptions it made to her usual routine.

She didn’t like having to constantly remind her dad she kept the mugs in a different cabinet now. She didn’t like waking up to a messy kitchen because Will and El raided the fridge at midnight. She didn’t like having to wait for the bathroom to be vacant to have a shower, only to realise her favourite shampoo was already empty because everyone assumed it was free for all.

Y/n hated feeling so annoyed by the people she cared so much for so, as much as the little disruptions irritated her, she tried her very best not to let her feelings surface. She told herself she just needed time to adjust and that, as overwhelming as the change could be, a full house was better than an empty one.

After a few days of much needed rest and settling in, Hopper announced to everyone that it was time to clean and declutter the cabin to make more room. Y/n reluctantly went along with it, even though watching Joyce and her boys move her stuff around the house made her skin crawl.

"Oh, hey Joyce, you cant throw that away," Y/n said hurriedly, recognising the box she was carrying outside to the 'trash' pile. Joyce stopped in her tracks, and sheepishly walked back in.

"Oh, I’m sorry. Hopper said he looked through and it was just old documents."

Y/n winced. Perhaps if her dad had spent less time reorganising her life and more time listening to her, they would be on the same page. Perhaps it wasn't fair of her to feel so irritated by Joyce and the boys when her annoyance should have been aimed at Hopper.

"Yeah, it is," Y/n began, softening her expression, "- but it’s also records of when the cabin came under my name."

It was sure to be important when it became time to sort through the nightmare of legal paperwork her dad's return from the dead caused.

"Oh, ok," Joyce nodded. "You want me to put it in your room for you?"

"Yes please."

The older woman obliged without another word, which Y/n appreciated more than she could say. It was nice to feel heard, especially after feeling like she was on the outside looking in for the past few days.

After a couple hours of decluttering and cleaning the living room with El, Y/n went to her room for a much needed break. By the time she mustered enough will to go back outside, she saw Joyce and El going through her box of all the polaroids and photographs Y/n came across when she cleaned the cabin 8 months ago.

“You guys found the old photos," Y/n beamed, picking up one of the pictures from the pile and grinning. It was of her and Sara.

“I was telling El it might be nice to put some up, make the cabin a little homier," Joyce suggested, smiling nervously. "Would you be ok with that, Y/n?”

She drew in a deep breath and smiled.

“Yeah, that sounds nice."

More than nice, Y/n thought to herself. She wondered if that was what made her so irritated about the Byers moving in: the lingering fear that the more Joyce and her sons settled into the cabin, the less space there would be for any memory of her mom and Sara.

This was a nice way of ensuring that didn't happen.

Joyce's eyes lit up when she pulled out another photograph. From the writing on the back, Y/n knew it was a photo Jonathan took of her, Steve and the kids after high school graduation.

“Oh my god, Hopper look at this one," Joyce beamed.

He stopped what he was doing in the kitchen and come to have a look. Joyce handed him the photo and he drew his brows together, smiling nervously as she glanced between the photo in his hand and the others in the box. Aside from the pictures with Sara and his wife, the rest were new to him.

“How come I’ve never seen these photos?”

Y/n didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or scream.

“You weren’t there," she muttered harshly. "I didn’t see a point in showing them to you.”

Hopper's demeanour turned sheepish almost immediately. Between Y/n's cold expression and Joyce's widened eyes, he found himself flustered and in desperate search for an exit.

“I’ll move them into your room.”

He didn't wait for her to say anything before putting the photos back into the box, then lifting it and taking it away, with it any chance of him letting her and Joyce put the photos up around the house.

Y/n's blood boiled watching him scurry, and then it dawned on her, surely and swiftly. The reason her stomach was in constant knots for the past few days had nothing to do with the Byers and everything to do with her dad, and the fact that just as he was not dead, so too were his old ways.

***

April 10th, 1986

Y/n lifted the glass of water in front of her and held it out, fully extending her arm. Nurse Jackson studied her closely, looking for any sign of discomfort, just as she did every time Y/n came in for her routine check up for her injuries.

“Any pain?” Nurse asked, to which Y/n promptly shook her head. “Good. I’ll get you some extra bandages just in case, but I think you should be in the clear now.”

The nurse wheeled her desk chair to the medical supply shelf behind her and came back with a handful of bandages for Y/n. She turned back to her and sighed. The young girl stared blankly at her shoes and nervously tugged at the hem of her t-shirt, not noticing nurse Jackson inquisitive eye.

“Is there anything else that’s been bothering you?”

The older woman's voice appeared to jolt the younger one back to reality. Her head shot up and without a moment of thought, she shook her head. Nurse Jackson narrowed her eyes.

“Y/n.”

The young woman sighed shakily, turning her attention to restless fingers. After a brief moment of silence, she cleared her throat and spoke quietly.

“I’ve actually been having a lot of trouble sleeping… for a while, but especially this past week," she began. “I wake up either in cold sweats or hyperventilating or both. Sometimes its like... I-I feel like I'm going crazy.”

Y/n half expected a look of concern from Nurse Jackson, but the older inched closer and gripped her hands, grounding her worries if only for a second.

“Honey, our town just had a record-breaking earthquake and your dad is back after being presumed dead for nearly a year…”

Y/n squeezed her eyes shut. She had heard that spiel a million times, to the point where it had lost most of its consolation. Nurse Jackson continued.

“Frankly, I’d be concerned if you were getting a good night’s rest.”

“I know," Y/n answered shortly, her patience growing thin. She shook her frustratedly. "I just… I’m sick of feeling like this. All I want is to move forward from all this. How do I do that?”

She wanted a quick fix. She wanted Nurse Jackson to have all the answers, write her a prescription for something and for that something to make her normal again. To make her feel like she had some semblance of control over her life despite the past year proving otherwise.

“There are a lot of ways of moving forward, and the best route is going to be different for everyone." Nurse Jackson tried to give a comforting answer, but knowing Y/n, she knew it would be met less than kindly. "- But the main thing is that you don’t do it alone.”

“I’m not alone," Y/n quipped defensively.

Nurse Jackson pursed her lips.

“The other main thing is that you let yourself process everything that’s happened."

Y/n let out a defeated huff. The past few weeks felt like a juggling act, with each day seemingly burdening her with one more thing to deal with. Now on top of it all, she had to find the time and the energy to reflect on everything that happened to her.

“I’m processing everything as best I can."

The older woman knew that, for the most part, she was telling the truth. But Nurse Jackson could also spot an avoidant patient from a mile away. This one, in particular, was a patient she had grown incredibly fond of.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Y/n.”

Her words caught the young girl by surprise. She didn't know whether to be apologetic, offended or defensive.

“All I’m saying is…" Nurse Jackson pursed her lips once more and drew in a deep breath as she tried to find the right words. "-As long as you keep burying your feelings and putting on a brave face, you’re never gonna move forward.”

Y/n hung her head, bashful that in the little time they knew each other, Nurse Jackson saw her so clearly, which was more than she could say for many of the people who knew her for much longer.

"You know, I think Ms Kelley is still offering free sessions." Nurse Jackson's voice was quiet and cautious. The last time she brought up the sessions to Y/n, she just about cursed her for suggesting it and stormed out of the room. "If you ever want to take her up on it, you just let me know and I'll sort that out for you."

The young girl didn't give her a definitive answer. She merely nodded her head and left quietly, discreetly wiping her teary eyes once her back was turned. However, Nurse Jackson was confident Y/n would take her up on her offer soon.

***

April 16th, 1986

Y/n's night was the same as it had been for what felt like an eternity. She woke up gasping for air, completely overcome by fear of impending danger despite being safe, sitting among Steve and the kids who were all passed out from movie night. She clung her fist to her chest and tried to steady and quiet her breathing.

Not wanting to wake anyone, she shifted Steve's comforter off her legs and left him sleeping on the ground by himself so she could sneak into the kitchen. She tried to shift her attention away from her frustrations, but as tears began to form in her eyes, it was hard to focus on the pot of coffee she was trying to make. Defeated, she dropped pot down abruptly on the counter and held her head in her hands.

"Still can’t sleep, huh?"

Steve's arms wrapped around her, his hands turning her around until she faced him. Y/n shook her head and dropped her hands, revealing her teary tired eyes to the only person she trusted enough to see them. Steve kissed her temple, just as he did the countless times he stayed awake with her.

He looked past her shoulder and spotted the coffee pot and grounds, and smiled playfully.

"Call me crazy, but I think having coffee in the middle of the night might not be helping."

Y/n rolled her eyes, nudging him gently.

"You don’t have any cocoa."

Steve chuckled, before pulling away and turning back to the pantry which Y/n had searched every inch of, for almost half an hour. He crouched down and moved a stack of canned soup to reveal a tin of cocoa. Y/n smirked weakly, her brow quipped.

“You’re hiding your cocoa now?”

“Just when the kids are here,” he explained sheepishly.

After the boys, under Dustin's leadership, got hot chocolate everywhere and gave themselves a sugar rush, Steve decided cocoa was not something he could leave unattended during movie nights.

Y/n sat at the kitchen table, mindlessly tapping her fingers against the surface as she waited for Steve to finish making their hot chocolates. Once he returned, he placed his hand atop hers to cease the tapping.

“What’s on your mind?”

She sighed. So much, that was the simple answer. There was so much on her mind, too much to unpack over one mug of hot chocolate.

“It’s weird seeing my dad again,” Y/n began. “- Having him around again.”

He nodded silently, sipping taking a sip from his mug.

“Everything is supposed to just be ok now because we all made it out alive, and I want things to be ok, but… it just doesn’t feel right. It doesnt feel fair.”

It should have been enough for her. She wanted it to be enough for her that everyone was ok and everyone was back home, but no amount of pretending made it so.

“It feels like I’m supposed to just forgive him? I’m supposed to just move on?… without even an apology?”

Steve’s brows rose and then knitted together.

“No one’s expecting you to do that, Y/n.”

She knew he was trying to comfort her, but she could name one person that was. She sighed and opted to squeeze Steve’s hand since he was keeping her from tapping.

“He asked me to go back home tomorrow night for dinner,” Y/n mumbled, unsure how she felt about the proposition.

She had been actively avoiding him and though it took him nearly week, it seemed Hopper was finally catching on. At least, that’s what Y/n told herself when he pulled her aside the last time she helped out at the shelter.

Steve squeezed her hand once, offering a small smile.

“That’s a good sign, right? Maybe he’s ready to talk.”

Y/n stared blankly at her mug.

“Maybe,” she huffed, though deep down she still was not sure.

***

April 17th, 1986

Dinner at home was not what Y/n expected. For one, it was only her, her dad and Joyce. While Jonathan was with Nancy, El and Will had plans with the rest of the kids. Walking in to a table set for only three left Y/n feeling uneasy, and yet hopeful that maybe her dad wanted time with her.

However, this hope dwindled as the night went on, because all they talked about over Joyce’s spaghetti was getting the cabin back in order. Y/n could hardly make sense of it, that was until her dad brought up meeting with an attorney before sliding a pen and a document across the table to her.

“What’s this?”

Startled, Y/n turned the document over and skimmed through it. While it was saturated with a lot of legal jargon she was unfamiliar with, she saw the words “title” and “transfer” then put two and two together. A red sticker flagged the place where she was to sign her name. She noticed that her dad had already signed his.

“Oh.”

Her face fell the very instant she pieced it together. A familiar knot began to form in her stomach. Hopper looked at her concernedly. When she met his gaze, she felt almost nothing.

“Bug, are you ok?”

Y/n wanted to laugh.

“You’re… so fucking priceless, dad.”

Hopper drew his brows together, taken aback at his daughter’s change in demeanour.

“What?”

“This is why you asked me to come home?”

She gestured towards the documents. There she was hoping that dinner at home meant finally having a proper conversation with her dad, when all it was was a ploy so he could get what he wanted. Hopper scrambled for a coherent response, words to keep things from escalating, but his mouth ran dry.

“When did you organise all this?” Y/n questioned, her cold glare going back and forth between the document and her dad. He sighed and ran his hand over his mouth.

“A week ago,” Hopper admitted sheepishly. As he suspected that escalated the tension in the room. “I sent the deed to the cabin to an attorney’s office.”

Y/n laughed coldly, remembering all too well the day he came close to throwing that very deed away. She felt a painful sense of clarity wash over her. This had little to do with the cabin and everything to do with controlling everything, Y/n felt certain of it.

“Of course,” she spat. “I should have fucking known.”

Hopper frowned, feeling an all too familiar sense of guilt settle in his stomach. He suspected that she might have some reservations about giving up ownership, but never expected this.

“I can understand if you’re upset.”

“Oh cut the bullshit, dad.”

He slammed his fist against the dinner table, prompting Joyce to come sprinting in from the kitchen.

“You don’t need to talk to me like that,” Hopper fired back.

“No, you know what? I will talk to you this. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“You sure about that?”

Y/n did not take notice of the fact that they were both standing, leaning over the table, glaring at each other with the exact same expression. Nor did she take notice of Joyce, who stood at the end of the table, at a loss for how to de-escalate the situation, and if de-escalation was even possible.

“Y/n, maybe-“

Before the woman could finish speaking, Y/n kissed her teeth and shook her head, her tempermant getting the better of her.

“Joyce, this is between me and my dad.”

“Don’t talk to her like that.”

His words came with no delay, no hesitation, Joyce could see the way that upset Y/n.

“It’s ok,” the older woman told Hopper, before turning to his daughter and shaking her head reassuring. “It’s ok.”

Joyce excused herself and went to hers and Hopper’s shared bedroom. It was not until she closed the door shut that the argument resumed.

“What’s gotten into you?” Hopper asked, dumbfounded.

“You!” Y/n shouted, frustrated that she had to spell it out. “It’s bad enough you’re being accommodating to everyone but me, but you’re forcing your way back into everything on your terms and I’m really fucking sick of it.”

“Oh you’re sick of it?”

“Yes, because this is you! This is who you are! This is who you’ve always been and I feel like an idiot for expecting anything to be different with you.”

How could it be, she realised. While she was hoping her dad had changed for the better, he was hoping she remained the same. It was no wonder he was so nonchalant about everything, from moving in the Byers to stripping her of ownership of the cabin.

“Maybe a couple years ago, I would have let it all slide without kicking up a fuss, but I’m not doing that anymore,” Y/n argued.

She needed him to understand that while it was clear he wanted things back to how they were, she was far from the girl she was a year ago, and for a good reason.

“I can’t go back to doing that, dad. And it’s really shitty that you’re expecting me to.”

Hopper sighed, relieved that they were talking as opposed to yelling, but gutted all the same by what he was being accused of. He shook his head.

“I’m not expecting you to do anything, bug.”

“Yeah, you are,” Y/n argued. “You want me to be ok with you changing everything without a heads up. First you rearrange everything, then you move a whole family in, now this… You want me put up with everything, like I always did, but I’m not going to do that.”

She could not do that to herself again. Not after reliving it with Vecna. Y/n desperately wanted better for herself, and she wanted him to understand that and to want the same.

“I had no idea owning the cabin meant this much-“

“Oh my god, this isn’t just about the cabin!” Y/n shouted, frustrated that he was taking everything at surface level when there was much more to it.

Hopper winced, baffled as to how everything he says always ends up being the wrong thing.

“It’s about you and me, dad. All of it is about you and me and the fact that… you just don’t care about anything that’s important to me.”

“That’s not true,” Hopper argued, certain that while there was a lot he did not know about Y/n, especially after a year apart, he still knew the things that mattered most. She, on the other hand, was not so sure.

“You don’t even know what’s important to me.”

Hopper scrunche his brows together, offended that she thought so little of him. He knew her, he told himself. He had to.

“Looking after the people you care about,” he began, “protecting El and the kids… that’s important to you.”

Y/n scoffed and shook her head, leaving her dad to wonder how that was the wrong thing to say.

“Not the obvious stuff, or the stuff that we both care about.”

Those were a given, Y/n deemed. Those required no real effort on his end, which only proved her point further. Frustrated and partly defeated, Hopper tossed his hands up in the air.

“Then what are you getting at, bug?”

She swallowed thickly, but the lump in her throat persisted. It mattered less to Y/n that her dad did not understand her, and moreso that he never seemed to try to.

“Dad you were gone for almost a year. And El was gone and Steve and I weren’t together,” Y/n wept. “This cabin and everything I kept inside here… it was all I had for the last 8 months. It was all I had when you were still shitfaced drunk and were barely home. And you just come back and take it all away like its nothing.”

Hopper huffed, his gaze dropping down to the floorboards, too ashamed to look her in the eye. When he finally did look up, she wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands, sniffling quietly.

“Bug… I had no idea.”

“Of course you didn’t,” she scoffed.

He never asked her. He never really spoke to her. For all she knew, he never even thought of her or what she went through. How could he expect to know anything about how she was feeling?

Y/n caught a glimpse of herself in her reflection in the window, and a sense of fatigue began to linger.

“Look, I get that you’re ok and you’re fine and you’re past it all, but I’m not. I’m still stuck in the middle of it. I’m still hurting.”

“Is that what you think?” Hopper questioned, bewildered. “You think I’m ok? You think I’m past everything?”

“What else am I supposed to think when you’re too busy playing happy family with your girlfriend to consider my feelings in all of this?”

“Y/n, c’mon,” Hopper pleaded. “That’s not fair.”

She shook her head. Who was he to talk to her about unfair?

“If it wasn’t your addiction, it was El Now, if it’s not El, it’s Joyce and every other person in Hawkins. You’re always so preoccupied with everything and everyone else and I’m always just an afterthought. I’m not an idiot, dad, I can read between the lines.”

Hopper knew, now, what she was getting at, and he hated it. He resented the accusation he knew she was about to make.

“Bug-“

“I know when I’m not wanted.”

There it was. Hopper shook his head and went to reach for his daughter’s arm.

“Y/n, stop it.”

“I can’t!” Her voice snapped before she reached the end of her sentence, sending the worst kind of chills down Hopper’s spine. She shook her arm out of his grasp and moved away. “This has literally haunted me for years. It’s haunted me. You’ve haunted me.”

Long before Vecna got the chance to.

Hopper felt his lips tremble. His mouth opened as if to speak, but no words could form.

His blank expression only pained Y/n more.

“I mean, honestly… Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me? Any recollection at all?”

She looked at him pleadingly, hoping for something. For any kind of confirmation that he knew all the things he had done. If he knew, she could have hope of him having remorse, of him apologizing and him making amends. But, if he didn’t, Y/n couldn’t see how having any hope would be possible.

Hopper blinked, still at a loss for words. He remembered some arguments, but the rest were a blur, and he knew no memory he could muster up would be one that Y/n was referencing.

She knew, at this point, she was grasping at straws, but Y/n couldn’t help herself. She needed to know.

“Do you remember my 16th birthday?”

Hopper said and did nothing.

A sob escaped Y/n’s lips. Alone, again; that was how she felt. That was a night so painful and so deeply etched into her memory because of him, but he could not recall any part of it. Hopper stumbled forward, terrified of what Y/n’s sobs meant and where their conversation was headed.

“Bug, please, I don’t wanna fight with you. I don’t wanna go back to doing that,” he started, his voice shaky, alongside his hands. “But, believe me, I also don’t want to pretend like things are ok. I want it to actually be ok. I wanna fix things, I wanna make things right with you.”

He should have done that first. He should have said that first, before anything else. Hopper hated himself for taking so long to realise that. He placed his hands on the side of his daughter’s shoulder, only to be met with silence.

Y/n had a blank expression, one which Hopper still studied profusely, hoping for some indication that things would be ok. She felt defeated. She felt fatigued. This was an argument she felt like she had had with her dad a million times before, and they all ended the same. Maybe it was finally time they cut their losses.

“And what if you can’t?”

Hopper flinched.

“Don’t say that.”

She couldn’t possibly think that, Hopper told himself. After everything that kept them apart, he could not accept that an argument would be the thing to sever their relationship. Y/n sighed.

“If the last 8 months couldn’t fix things between us, what are the chances that anything will?” She had no more tears. That was the part that terrified Hopper the most. That, and the fact that she was refusing to look him in the eye. “And… after everything that’s happened, I’m just… I’m so tired, Dad.”

“I know,” Hopper whispered.

Y/n finally looked at him, but nothing in her expression changed.

“No. You don’t.”

She knew that now, better than she ever had before. He could never know what she went through. He could never understand her now. And, for as long as that remained true, they would never truly see eye-to-eye on anything.

Y/n pushed past her dad and approached the dinner table. Hopper turned around and watched, puzzled by what she was doing until he saw her pick up the pen and sign the document.

If that was what he wanted from her, it would be the last thing she would ever give him, Y/n decided. He would have the cabin, but only she would have all the memories made in it. Time would move on, just as he so deperately wants, but she would always remain stuck reliving the pain on her own.

After signing the document, Y/n silently grabbed her jacket and headed towards the front door. Hopper stepped forward.

“Y/n-“

“Don’t,” she warned, turning around and facing him before he could get any closer to her. “I really don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Y/n slammed the front door behind her as she left. The sound exhoed in Hopper’s head as he struggle to come to grips with everything. He saw so much of himself in her when they argued, but when she walked away from him, he saw so much of her mother. He had done it, he realised. He lost another one of his girls.

***

i do not give permission for any of my work to be copied, translated or reposted onto another site

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[prythianpages]

Stuck On You | Part Three

cassian x reader | Cassian can't seem to forget about you since the night you met seven years ago. he thought he would never see you again but when he does, he's determined to make you his. this time for good.

“Don’t worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know, I read her diary.”

[series masterlist]

A/N: I debated on splitting this into two parts since it came out longer than intended but I wanted to leave the bulk of the angst in this part. Some more scenes and quotes from Lilo & Stitch since I couldn't help myself. just one more part! I have a rough outline of it so I probably won't be able to finish it tonight but definitely by some time this coming week.

Warnings: angst, some fluff if you squint, mentions of violence/abuse

“Cassian said he would take me out for ice cream if you said yes!” Seraphine beamed, removing her boots at the foyer of your small, humble home. “I’ve never had ice cream before. Have you?”

“Sera,” you said with a sigh, concern laced into your tone over how attached she was to him. His month-long absence had given you a glimpse of the consequence of the effect he had on not just you but Seraphine as well and you didn’t want her to get hurt. She wouldn’t understand. 

“I think it’s best if we don’t see Cas anymore.”

She turned to you with a pout. “He’s our friend! You have to say yes.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Seraphine’s lip quivered, her tired eyes brimming with tears.

You didn’t answer, couldn’t bring yourself to.

Instead, you threw your aching body onto the small loveseat in the living room. This week had taken both an emotional and physical toll on you, as you tirelessly kept Seraphine up to date with her studies, managed the tavern’s monthly expenses and wrestled with your feelings about Cassian. The constant restlessness in Seraphine only added to the mountain of exhaustion, her unbridled excitement buzzing incessantly over everything.

You knew you should draw a bath for the both of you and then head to bed, considering your fatigue.

However, you were well aware of your little sister’s stubborn nature as it was one you also exhibited. It must run in the family. Once she was fixated on something, there was no distracting her and judging by the intensity of your little sister’s sobs, you braced yourself for a long and challenging night.

“You’re so mean!” She cried. “I hate you!”

“Please don’t be a pain tonight,” you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“You should just sell me and buy a rabbit instead!” Sara shouted at you with her finger pointed at you, referring to your empty threat of replacing her with a rabbit every time she misbehaved. You hadn’t brought it up in months, years even, and were surprised she remembered.

“At least a rabbit would behave better than you,” you muttered. 

“Go ahead!” Seraphine exclaimed, making you wince at her sharp tone. You hoped your neighbors could not hear her, fearing what they’d do if they did. You heard her angry stomps as she made her way to her room. “Then you’ll be happy! It will be smarter than me too.”

“And quieter!”

“You’ll like it because it’s stinky like you!”

“Go to your room!”

“I’m already in my room!” Seraphine screamed as she opened her door just to slam it shut again, irritating you further.

You grabbed the nearest pillow and brought it to your face to muffle your scream.

**

Guilt began to settle as your initial anger faded away. You knew you had overreacted. For many years, it had just been you and the small family your mother had created. Neither you or Seraphine had made any friends in Ironcrest yet, unless you counted the friendly old male who you purchased spices and groceries from every Sunday. 

Your small family of four had unexpectedly and significantly reduced to half, leaving just you and Seraphine. Of course, she was excited when Cassian came along. You’d deny it if asked but a part of you was excited too.

He was sweet and kind but your worries crept in about what it meant to allow him into your tightly-knit world. What if things didn’t work out between you? What if the burdens you carried were too much for him to bear? You couldn’t allow him in further when your sister was already so attached to him, unable to bear the thought of having her witness another loved one disappear from her life.

You had to end this, whatever it was that you and Cassian had and you had to end it soon. Before any further damage could be provoked.

Throughout your life, stability had been a luxury, and the haunting fear of attachment loomed over you. The constant uprooting had instilled a deep seated fear of getting close to people. Every bond you had forged was inevitably followed by a painful goodbye. The walls safeguarding your heart, constructed since childhood, grew higher and stronger with every move. You had hoped that your mother’s marriage would bring a lasting change, a nice and needed break from moving, and for a while, it had.

However, the universe had a cruel way of reminding you that stability was a luxury you couldn’t afford. You would’ve never expected your one night stand with Cassian would lead to something more–to this. 

Cassian, with his unwavering determination, posed a threat to the walls you had carefully built around your heart. Love. It seemed like a beautiful risk but the fear of losing what was gained, overshadowed its allure for you. Your heart had never felt so heavy.

You took a deep breath before knocking on your sister’s door. The lack of response didn’t surprise you. She must still be upset. The soft glow of faelight seeping from beneath her door confirmed she was awake. Balancing the two mugs of hot cocoa in one arm, you opened the door and slipped inside.

Your stomach churned at the sight of your little sister, clutching the pegasus doll that Cassian had gifted her. Tears streaked her face as she gazed down solemnly.

“I brought you, your favorite. Hot cocoa,” you offered, hoping to bring a glimmer of cheer to her troubled expression.

“We’re a broken family, aren’t we?”

You frowned, setting the tray down on the nightstand, hesitating before answering. “Maybe but only a little…”

You settled yourself onto Seraphine’s bed, gently cradling her into your lap. “I’m sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you.”

“I like you better as a sister than a mother…” Seraphine sniffled.

“Yeah?” You tenderly brushed her long, dark hair away from her face in contemplation.

 A pang tugged at your heart–the weight of becoming a mother figure pressed on your shoulders. As a sister, you also played a nurturing and protective role in Seraphine’s upbringing, offering support when it was needed. You were the one Seraphine would run to for comfort after your mother's scolding or being stern with her, but now you were the one that had to be stern. It was a struggle finding the balance between fulfilling the motherly duties Seraphine needed and preserving the sibling bond that meant the world to you.

“And you like me better as a sister than a rabbit, right?”

“Oh, my sweet Sera.” You replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead, your arms wrapping around her smaller form with a gentle squeeze. “Of course I do! I would not make my special hot cocoa for just anyone. Only you.”

You handed one of the mugs to her, smiling fondly as she inhaled the rich scent.

“Cassian says ice cream is like frozen milk,” she mused softly. “I wonder what hot cocoa would taste like frozen but then it would no longer be hot cocoa, right? We would have to come up with a new name for it but I don’t think I like the sound of frozen cocoa…”

Her innocent dilemma made you laugh, finding it utterly endearing. You wanted her worries to always be like this. Small and trivial.

“Perhaps we should leave the cocoa out to freeze and find out for ourselves? We can decide on a name then.”

**

The night air was chilling, the cold wind biting at your cheeks. You hugged your coat closer to you, sparing at glance at Seraphine to make sure she still had hers on and the scarf you had bought her was snug to keep her neck warm. You couldn’t help but giggle when you caught Cassian, who had been persistent on walking you home, was constantly blowing his hair out of his face.

“Did you lose all your hair ties?” You quipped, digging into the pocket of your pants and offering a hair tie to him to alleviate his struggle. He reluctantly took the elastic from you and tied his hair up into his usual bun. You noticed he wore it down more recently. “You can keep it, too.”

“I just wanted to let it loose, try something different.” He replied with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

You let out a small hum, stuffing your hands back into your pockets to keep them hidden and fell into a thoughtful silence once more. There was a knot in your stomach as you three neared your house.

Seraphine, who once again had chosen to skip ahead of you two, paused. She turned around with a knowing gleam in her eye. Her lips curled up and she opened her mouth to speak and if you hadn’t been occupied in the tempest of your thoughts, you wouldn’t have missed Cassian bringing his finger to his lips to keep her from exposing him.

“Fancy hair,” she giggled, despite his plea.

“What was that?” You said, turning your head toward your sister.

Both Seraphine and Cassian exchanged a look before turning to you, responding in unison:

“Nothing!”

Your eyes narrowed at the two in suspicion but you decided not to question it.

When you three finally reached your home, Cassian was surprised at your invitation to come inside. You had never invited him inside, always bidding your farewells at your door. He walked in, overwhelmed by the sweet and delightful scent. It smelled just like you. His eyes darted around the living area curiously, taking in all the small touches you incorporated to make this place feel like a warm and inviting home.

 You instructed Seraphine to change and pick a book for you to read to her before bed. She politely said her goodbye and goodnight to Cassian, her movements slow as she was reluctant to follow your instructions. She had no desire to go to bed, not when Cassian was inside your home for the first time and you found the glare she sent you amusing.

Cassian was staring at the wilted and dead flowers resting in a small vase you had placed on the kitchen table, recognizing them as the ones he had gifted you so long ago. You never threw them away.

“Cassian.”

He loved the way you said his name. But it was different this time. He pulled his attention away from the kitchen table to look back at you. You leaned against the back of the loveseat in hesitation, your eyes revealing the weight of the decision you were about to make.

His throat tightened. “Yes?”

“I think it’s best if you stop coming here.” Your voice was laced with a vulnerability you hated and before Cassian could reply, you were speaking again. “I have to take care of my sister. I can’t risk her getting attached, more so than she already is and–and neither can I. We’ve lost so much already…”

A tear escaped your eye. You brushed it away with a trembling hand and then Cassian was bridging the distance between you both, his hand gently cupping your cheek and coaxing your gaze to his. 

“Y/n,” he gently whispered. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“How can you say that? What if something happens and–”

“Please don’t push me away.”

 “They call you the Lord of Bloodshed. You’re the commander of the High Lord’s armies. You made a name for yourself. And me? I am no one. I’m not worthy of love. Of you. You’ll soon realize it and grow tired of me–”

“Stop.” Cassian interrupted, bringing his other hand up to cup your face. His touch was both comforting and agonizing. “You are worthy of love and so much more and I want to prove it to you. There could be a room full of others but just like that night at the bonfire, I want you. I choose you.”

A heavy sigh escaped you as you gently removed his hands from your face. “But I can’t choose you. I have to choose Seraphine. I always will and right now, I can’t afford to have you both.”

The weight of your words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the responsibilities that anchored you, pulling you away from the love that beckoned.

Cassian grasped your hands in his, refusing to let them slip away. He did not want to let go of you. He understood the depth of your worries and the distress etched onto your features was breaking his heart. Why couldn’t you see yourself the way he saw you?

“I won’t force you into something that scares you, y/n.” He reassured you with a soft tone, his thumbs tracing soothing circles on the back of your hands. “I only want what’s best for you and Seraphine.”

Your lips trembled as you managed a small, strained smile.

“But you have to know that I love you–both of you. And this love, it’s not going anywhere. It’s a constant. A promise that will never waver.”

**

Cassian hadn’t returned and although you had asked for it, you couldn’t deny the lingering void in your heart. Seraphine sensed something was amiss when your voice wavered as you read her a bedtime story shortly after he left. Surprisingly, she refrained from asking about Cassian until a week later, almost as if she dreaded hearing the news that he wouldn’t be coming back. 

When she finally did, tears welled in her eyes and you comforted her, convincing yourself it was for the best. However, the attempt of reassurance was futile and did little to ease your own pain.

Seraphine sighed, absentmindedly nudging the green vegetable on her plate. Scrumps was propped on the table, facing her with its stitched eyes. “At least I still have you,” she murmured to the pegasus plush. “You’ll never leave me, right?”

You frowned at the sight, feeling helpless and unsure how to alleviate your sister’s sorrow. This was precisely what you had tried to shield her from and it stung to realize it was too late. The damage had already been done.

Your attention was then pulled away as the creaking door to the tavern swung open. The room fell into silence. The dining Illyrians, previously immersed in their conversations, cast furtive glances toward the entrance.

In stepped the son of Ironcrest’s war-lord, Kallon. Another Illyrian stepped in behind him but he was overshadowed by Kallon’s commanding presence. His gaze swept over the room, eyes like steel, assessing every face, every corner of the establishment. The tension in the air was palpable. He was looking for someone.

The regulars exchanged subtle nods, acknowledging the unspoken command to show respect. Whispers died down, and the muted sound of footsteps echoed as he advanced further into the tavern.

Your eyes were wide and you felt your body tense. You almost forgot how to breathe when Kallon’s cold eyes found yours. Seraphine, who sensed your distress, hopped off her chair and ran to you. Her tiny hand found yours and you guided her to stand behind you as Kallon continued his approach.

“Kallon,” you managed to find your voice, forcing a smile onto your face as you bowed your head in respect. “Should I prepare a table for you and your companion?”

“There’s no need.” He replied. He then turned his head at the eavesdropping Illryians, his gaze a silent warning to them. It wasn’t until the menacing look on his face prompted a couple to abandon their tables and those that remained to resume their conversations that he turned his attention back to you. “I came here to speak to you.”

“Me?” You echoed, your voice daring to break. The male behind Kallon remained quiet but you caught the way his gaze had flickered to your little sister, who hid behind your skirts. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“It has come to my attention that you have been fraternizing with an Illyrian male from Windhaven–” Kallon’s lips curled up in disgust and you felt Seraphine’s grip on you tighten. “– who just so happens to also be the High Lord’s general.”

“His name is Cassian.” Seraphine said, peeking out from behind you to scowl at Kallon.

Kallon looked toward your sister with a scoff. You pressed Seraphine into your hip to keep her from speaking again, worried of the consequences that may unfold. “He’s just a friend.”

Kallon’s attention drifted back to you, his gaze burning into you. “It seems you and I have different understandings of a friend because friends don’t kiss each other now do they?”

Your breath hitched. The two of you seldom interacted with each other. The last time you did was to report your mother’s murder. You cursed yourself at that moment, disappointed with yourself. You had failed to recognize that Cassian was well known throughout Illyria and to make it worse, he was from Windhaven. A rival camp to Ironcrest. You wondered how long Kallon had been following you and why he waited to confront you about it now, several months later since Cassian’s first visit. 

“I–”

“It’s not a good look for you, y/n.” Kallon shook his head in disapproval with a small tut. “You of all people should know the consequences of whoring yourself out. Finding a husband will be troublesome for you and if you continue down this path, it is not a good example for your dear little sister.”

Your blood grew cold at the insult and you forced yourself to look up to keep the tears that were threatening to spill at bay. “I’m s–”

“It seems I may have failed you in some aspects.” Kallon interrupted, raising a finger at you in warning. He turned his attention to the empty glasses lined at the counter. “It is my job, after all, to help my father run this camp and it seems that I have overlooked you. Poor little y/n. You have been running this business and raising your sister all on your own.”

His fingers danced along the counter, a wicked gleam in his eyes. The sound of breaking glass echoed through the air, a sharp and crystalline shatter that reverberated through your bones and had Seraphine wincing into your body. You stared at the shattered glass at your feet, heart pounding through your ears.

“But it is not your place to do so.” Kallon reprimanded, his voice seething with a barely contained intensity. “It is his.”

You lifted your gaze.

The Illyrian male that had been quietly observant finally stepped forward. His features held a strange familiarity you couldn’t quite place. His eyes were cold and distant, lips pressed into a taut line.

“This is Aerik. Seraphine’s uncle.”

**

The wind was knocked out of you as the day you had dreaded finally came. Kallon had tracked down your step father’s only living relative– his brother, Aerik. The illusion you had so carefully crafted was unraveling and you found yourself at the precipice, forced to surrender the tavern and Seraphine, as if she were a mere object, to him.

But you knew the future that laid ahead for Seraphine if she stayed with her uncle. To you, she was your precious little sister, the one you had devoted your life to. To him, she was disposable, reduced to nothing but a bargaining tool once she was of marrying age. 

She would not have the freedom to be a child as she did with you. She would be groomed to become a submissive wife and soon enough, her wings would be clipped. A tradition that had been banned but not enforced in Ironcrest. You could not allow any harm to fall to your sister, not when you were alive and capable of taking care of her. You wondered if this is how your mother had felt when she had you, cornered by the cruel world.

Kallon had left moments ago, along with the remaining customers, but now without a warning. A threat to harm you and Cassian in unimaginable ways if Kallon heard of Cassian meeting with you again.

"I don't give a fuck if he's the High Lord's pet. This is my father's camp and as his son, I have the authority to punish those who dare cross us as needed."

You had instructed Seraphine to go to the kitchens to help tidy up, leaving you and Aerik alone. Your eyebrows knitted together in an exasperated manner, bewildered by his demands. 

You were a half breed–half high fae, half Illyrian–and a bastard. You were of little significance to Aerik–to any male in this damned camp, if you were being honest–and his plans with Seraphine did not include you. He wanted to take her away from you. For good.

He shifted, directing himself toward the kitchen and you were stopping him. Your hand gripped his arm desperately. “Seraphine needs me.”

Aerik tore his arm from your grasp with a snarl, using it to grip yours instead in retribution. His grip was hard and bruising and had you grimacing. “Is this what she needs?” He seethed, vividly gesturing to the tavern and lack of order in Seraphine’s life.

 “It seems clear to me that you need her a lot more than she needs you.”

**

Cassian told himself he would give you space, as tortuous as it was for him. It’s what you had asked him for. He missed you dearly, often wondering if you were feeling that painful ache in your heart too. Despite the temptation, he resisted the urge to ask Azriel to check in on you with his shadows, not wanting to bring his friend into this tangled messy emotions he found himself grappling with. He couldn’t shake the desire to check up on you one more time, hoping that you might've change your mind.

A week later, when an overwhelming sense of unease gripped him, he set off for Ironcrest.

Cassian pushed open the door to the familiar tavern, his second home as Rhysand had teased him weeks ago. His eyes scanned the room in search of you like they always did, but he couldn't spot the one person he was hoping to see. His head was then turning to the table Seraphine often occupied only to find it empty. 

An unsettling feeling knotted in his stomach when he couldn’t spot either of you, not missing the glare the male behind the counter had sent his way. It confirmed his suspicion that you weren’t here. Growing concerned, he decided to look for you, hoping you were safe and sound at home.

The journey was swift as it was one he knew by heart, his footsteps echoing through the quiet streets. When he reached your door, he hesitated for a moment. He could see the glow of a light, coming from the small window that he knew faced your living room. He heard a squeak come from inside, recognizing it as Seraphine’s, and then he was knocking on your door.

There was a faint rustling inside and then the door creaked open. Cassian’s confusion set in as he initially saw no one at the other side. It wasn’t until he heard a sharp gasp that his gaze shifted downward, relief washing over him as he spotted Seraphine.  

“Cas Cas!” Seraphine’s expression brightened, reveling in his presence and wrapping her tiny arms around him when he crouched down. “I thought I’d never see you again!”

“It’s good to see you too, munchkin.” Cassian smiled fondly, lifting her up with ease. He had missed her so much too.

“Sera, it’s time for your ba–Cassian?” You blinked, your grip on the towel in your hand tightening. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Can I come in?”

You looked past his shoulders worriedly and hesitantly nodded.

Cassian stepped into the foyer, crouching down to let Seraphine down. She grasped at his hand, guiding him to the living room where you stood with a forced smile on your face.

His worry deepened as he looked at you. "You weren’t at the tavern so I came to–to see you.”

To make sure you’re alright, is what he wanted to say but within seconds of seeing you, he knew you weren’t. Yet, you still attempted to dismiss his concern with a casual shrug. “My step-uncle is taking over the tavern now.”

“Oh yeah, Cas! I have a step-uncle now and he’s so nice to me. He bought me a new coloring book and so many toys! Do you want to see?”

Cassian realized that the glaring male from the tavern must be Seraphine’s step-uncle. He caught the way you bit the inside of your cheek at your little sister’s words, sensing something more beneath the surface.

“Sure.” He replied to Seraphine.

He waited until she disappeared down the hallway to take a step closer to you. “Is everything okay?”

A fleeting moment of hesitation flickered in your eyes that you quickly concealed, hoping he didn’t notice. But he did.

 "I'm fine, really. Just a bit tired but thankfully Aerik offered to step in to help.”

Despite your attempt to reassure him, Cassian couldn't shake the feeling of unease. The lines of worry etched on his face as he spoke, "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

“Yeah,” you nodded your head nonchalantly at him.

“Y/n.” His voice was gentle but stern and he reached out for your hands.

His fingers accidentally brushed against the bruise Aerik had left the other night and you couldn’t mask the wince that followed. Cassian stilled, eyes glancing down and widening at the marking of your skin. “Y/n, Sweetheart–”

“It’s nothing.” You were pulling your arm from his grasp and out of his view, clasping them behind your back. “I tripped and hit my arm against the counter the other night.”

Cassian felt a burning feeling in his chest, his teeth clenching. Someone had touched you--hurt you.

“Does this have anything to do with the sudden appearance of Seraphine’s uncle?”

“No.” Your response was too quick to be anything but a lie. “Aerik has been kind to us. So kind that he offered to help me find a husband.”

More lies. Your fear and anxiety grew with every passing moment that Cassian remained in Ironcrest. Kallon’s menacing warnings echoed in your mind, threatening dire consequences for both you and Cassian, if he ever returned. Since he had gone to the tavern to look for you, you were sure Aerik had seen him. Cassian was not one to easily blend into the crowd with his imposing stature, striking features and seven siphons. It was only a matter of time before he would run off to go tell Kallon.

You knew Cassian was a formidable warrior from all the gossip and tales you'd heard at the bonfire. Still, you couldn't shake your fear. Cassian was in enemy territory. Vastly outnumbered. He had to leave.

Cassian shook his head in disbelief, swallowing hard. “What?”

Stepping forward, he closed the distance between you, his intense gaze burning into your skin as you actively avoided it. “Is this what you want?”

“It’s what is best,” you told him, sidestepping his question. “So please leave. I don’t want Aerik to get the wrong idea by having you here in the house alone with me.”

“Y/N–”

“I’m so sorry, Cassian.”

Walking away, you felt your heart begin to shatter, unaware that you had also shattered his. You wiped at your eyes once you knew you were out of his view, holding your breath as you moved down the hallway. Seraphine ran past you with her coloring book and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop her.

Seraphine paused, her chest heaving as she caught up with her breath. Her lips curved into a deep frown when she spotted Cassian heading for the door. “Cas Cas, where are you going? I was going to show you my coloring book…"

"I thought you were here to stay.”

Cassian couldn’t bring himself to answer her and as young as she was, she recognized the look in his eyes. It mirrored the expression on your face before you had to deliver bad news. 

“You can leave again if you want.” Seraphine said as realization dawned on her. She casted her head down.

“I’ll remember you though. I remember everyone that leaves.”

[series masterlist]

A/N: don't hate me for breaking Cas's heart. I just live for the angst 🫠 if it's any consolation, this will have a happy ending 🩷

tagging: @kemillyfreitas

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Salutations! Might be a… oddly specific request? So feel free to throw it out if you don't like it! I've just had this idea floating in my brain for awhile and I think its cute.

So basically Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) makes friends with someone who is also really grief stricken over their last relationship. (I was thinking that they would be a widow/widower but you can go whatever route you want) They both find solace in one another and feel like they understand eachothers pain. They both get really close and before he can realize whats happening, Lucifer is head over heels and it hits him like a freight train when he realizes it. He wants so desperately to hold this person to his chest, protect them, and build a future together that neither of them had thought possible before; but he is also terrified of scaring them off if he does anything. Both of them are wounded, and Lucifer isnt sure how deep or raw those wounds are. So Lucifer just ends up turning into a puddle of a man when they are around.

Like I said, Ive just had this rotting in my head for awhile and I am not nearly skilled enough to do anything with it, sooooo have fun with it if it peaks your interest! <3

Broken Hearts Still Beat Again

"I may not be your first love, kiss, or date..... but damn baby, I want to be your last everything." -Unknown

Tw: Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Failed relationships, fear of abandonment, learning to love again, taking risks, slight spiciness at the end

~Prior to the beginnings of the Extermination~

You can't remember how long it's been since it happened. Years, months, and days are far too long, honestly. All you could remember was his face, his sad, sad, lonesome face, and the grinning menace Adam beside him. Yes, that's right, Adam, the first Winner. You, too, were a Winner till all that time ago. How long?

Your husband, best friend, and closest confidant was also a Winner. You were Winners together. You two died in your sleep peacefully due to a shared illness. It was sweet, almost too romantic like St. Peter said when you two crossed the gates. 

Then it happened; you don't know why Adam sank his teeth into you. Yes, you were an incredible fighter in the mortal world, teaching children how to fight for their safety and never to provoke. So when he came to you and invited you to the exorcist guild, well, you were happy to train young fighters to protect themselves. Your partner was even happier to watch you flourish in Heaven as much as you did in your mortal life. 

Then you overheard Lute talking to an exorcist one day. You heard about the extermination of the poor souls, the damned being killed again and again. This news broke you. Who would remotely allow this? Who would stoop so low?

You called an impromptu meeting with Sara and Adam to inform them of this horrible act Lute was performing. The tyranny she was showing against the other angels to go down to Lucifer's territory and kill again.

Only things didn't go as planned, no see you did go to the meeting; you spoke your peace, and then they just smiled at you, eery creepy smiles, sent you on your way, and told you it would be handled. It was all quite odd; there was no demand for a trial, no need for proof of your words, nothing.

When you returned to your home where your husband was, it happened all too fast. Exorcists were grabbing you; Adam was telling your husband something; his face dropped, and he looked at you with hate. You were shouting, begging, pleading for anyone to listen to you. No one would, and you were flagged as a traitor right then and there.

You were taken to a ledge, and standing there, you looked into your husband's eyes, tears staining your face, your throat raw from screaming. You could feel the saliva strands between your parted lips as you whimpered and cried. You freed your arm from one of the exorcists and reached out to your husband; it was too late as he turned from you.

He spared one last look at you, turning back with tears in his eyes. You called out his name once again, and Sara spoke her orders of your treason against the balance of good and evil. Then, you were pushed off the ledge. 

You began to fall from heaven, assuming a more permanent death would be treating you soon. You closed your eyes; you didn't want your last memories to be death or Adam or any of what just happened.

You thought of your lover when you two were young and carefree the day he told you he loved you. As you felt the rushing of wind and air surrounding you, this thought alone was your solace, and then it all went black.....

~~~~ Lucifer's Pov ~~~~

The day that Lilith left was a cold, cold day in hell. Well, not for everyone, but definitely me.

The woman I gave everything up for was gone in an instant. Without a word. Without a trace. My relationship with Charlie was far more strained and hindered now. I was nothing now. A kingdom all to my own and nothing of value now that the two women I loved the most were gone. What was I to do in this lone castle whither away? 

I turned to the picture of Lilith and Charlie, and tears formed in my eyes. It all felt too surreal to much. She was gone, my family gone, my life gone, all gone gone gone. As I sat there and cried, fists beating into the floor below, my wails echoing through the halls of my now abandoned residence, I felt so empty.

That's when an imp came in, holding a letter from the angels above. It was time to sign our agreement on the executions. Maybe that's why Lilith left; I was so willing to save our family that I gave up on our dreams for hell. 

I should have spoken to her and let her decide, but they threatened Charlie, so I had to act. I had to save my precious daughter, my pride and joy. That's also why I had to tell Charlie that her plan to 'save all sinners' needed to end. I remember it like yesterday, sitting at the table with them, breaking the news of the agreement I would sign soon. They looked so hurt, so betrayed.

I honestly was a failure. 

I stood, heading to the bathroom to clean up before my meeting. Soon after my name is signed on the soul pact, the first and only angelic building will grace hell, and the clock will start counting down. I was prepared for my subjects to hate me, but my family, it was all too much.

There was nothing to lose now, though, so hell with it. I made my way to the opening portal to heaven. It's now or never. I will sign this and keep the ones I love safe, even if they never know.

I love you, Lilith, I love you, Charlie. 

~~~~ Reader POV ~~~~

When you woke back up under a dark red sky, you figured you had to have fainted while falling to your death. Yet when you looked down at yourself, you were the same old you. The only notable difference was that your skin was no longer pure white. You had greyed out some, and your clothing was torn from your fall. Looking around, you saw a giant pentagram in the sky and a large white orb to the right. Was that heaven?

Standing on your legs again, your back was killing you. You began to walk anywhere; people here were very different from the Winners. Death, porn, canabalizim, all of it fully welcomed. This would take some getting used to. 

As you crossed the threshold of the city, now standing in the middle, you heard a horrible noise. It sounded like a bell, but it was so loud. You turned to your left, where the noise was coming from, and there was a clock and some numbers; just above the numbers, it read 'days till execution.' that's when you realized it.

A building, the only building that looked like what you are familiar with in heaven. You were shocked it wasn't Lute causing tyranny. It was all of them, every single one of them, in charge. 

You sank to your knees, realizing you would never be safe. You signed your sentence when you went to them with the information you learned. You were no longer a Winner...You were a Sinner, and your days were numbered.

You had something over everyone else; you knew how the angels fought and trained them daily. Using this knowledge to your advantage, you went through the town, trying to find anywhere you could start your new life. 

~~~ FLASH FORWARD 7 YEARS ~~~

You were lucky when you ran into Charlie. She was a godsend if god was even real. The Princess of Hell had the same morals and values as you, which you respected. Vaggie was also a pleasant surprise; you could tell a soldier you taught a mile away.

She remembered you as well. She kept to herself till you three made it to a safe place, Charleis's soon-to-be hotel. Once Charlie was out of earshot and working on getting supplies to heal everyone, she confronted you. 

Tears welled in her eyes when she asked what had happened. She was in shock when you explained how you ended up here. According to Vaggie, everyone was told that you died on a mission to hell.

The Sinners alerted Lucifer of your whereabouts, and he killed you; thus, in doing so, a protective force of angels was created. Fearmongering was the one thing Adam was damn good at. 

It was broken to you by Vaggie that your partner had moved on with another. He was in love and happy with another woman, one Adam hand-picked for him. You were devastated again; years of promises, lost nights, and romantic meetings disappeared. He gave up everything because Adam told him to.

You two agreed that your past lives in Heaven would no longer be discussed that night.

Crying your eyes out long after Vaggie returned to her shared room with Charlie, did you swear off love by taking your wedding band off and locking it in a drawer.

It was no longer a hidden fact that Lucifer had signed the deal with the Angels, and it was far less hidden knowledge that the relationship between King and Princess was strained.

The rag-tag group of residents was growing by the day. Angel Dust was fun, and you could quickly tell from how he talked and looked he wanted a way out. Soon after Charlie's broadcast, Alastor and his group, Husk and Nifty, joined the hotel's crew. Though the Radio Demon was creepy, you knew something was eating him deep inside. Nifty was a riot to get talking to and always brought you exciting things she found while cleaning. Husk was a perfect bartender, and you knew he would keep your dirty secrets for you. He was the only one you confided your past in. 

You supported Charlie wholeheartedly in her decision to overrule the exterminations. You were eager to help her prove that sinners could become winners. Look at you, for heaven's sake; if it could go one way, it had to go the other.

Sir Pentious was the last to join and was easy to talk to. He was awkward, but you loved his fabricated war stories and eggbois. Then, one day, he came along; you won't lie.

You were hesitant. I mean, he signed away Hell's right to life. You couldn't deny it, though; he was funny and ethereal. You swore off love, though, and you wouldn't let another break your heart again.

~~~~ Lucifer's POV ~~~~

When I got Charlie's call, I didn’t know what emotions to feel: sorrow, excitement, fear, jubilation. I was beyond myself, and as I finally answered the phone, all I could muster was, “Hey, Biiiiitch.”

Yeah, it was smooth of me to say that; however, it didn’t deter Charlie. She wanted me to come and visit her. I was over the moon; depression had nothing on me.

I looked at my hand as I was cleaning myself up and getting ready to go. Looking down and seeing that cursed band I once shared with the love of my life.

I found Lilith's ring left on her nightstand just days after her departure to who knows where. I couldn’t bring myself to take the ring off; it's all I had left of her; it reminds me to keep hoping she would forgive me; maybe I'll forgive myself. 

As I made my way to Charlie's hotel, thoughts pressed into my mind about how I wanted this reunion to go. It never occurred to me how much Charlie may have changed. Was she still the same woman I knew before we fought?

Sighing as I approached the door, I realized it was now or never. Let's do this, baby. What's the worst that could happen? She hates me and leaves me forever like her mother did, and now I am forever alone? Hahahahah NO!

I entered the hotel door, and jeez, what is this place?

Putting a smile on my face, I approached Charlie and hugged her, introducing myself to her girlfriend. Woah, I like girls, too. See, we can bond. As I was making my rounds with Charlie, meeting everyone, I saw her….She was….gorgeous. I could tell from her looks that she wasn’t an everyday Sinner, and something was different about her. 

After a brief and, might I say, victorious battle with this ‘Alastor’ fellow, I spent some time with my daughter, allowing her to show me around her hotel. As we stood atop the balcony, I made the first fatal error of the night. “So, CharChar, what is this all about?” 

Charlie rolled her eyes at me and excitedly smiled, “It’s a hotel to cleanse and rehabilitate Sinners! I told you this, Dad!” The excitement on her face was genuinely adorable, but she couldn’t do it. I couldn’t allow this. The elder angels would just hurt her like they did me. They already threatened my family once; I can’t let them do this again.

I knew by the look on Charlie's face that my reaction wasn’t what she was expecting. As I went to speak to her, a loud explosion was heard downstairs. 

We rushed down, and I saw an opportunity to prove to Charlie why we couldn’t follow this plan. As I ran forward to catch up with the others, I saw the mystery woman again. She was fighting alongside Alastor and his demons perfectly; she was beautiful and brilliant in battle, always expecting the next attack.

Once the sharks were dealt with and the young lady who seemed to know Alastor left, I turned back to Charlie and attempted to plead my case. “See Charlie, look, they are all the same; Sinners will never be redeemed; they will never go to heaven.” 

“You don’t know that, Dad, please.” The look on Charlie's face broke me, but this had to be done. I couldn’t let her get hurt. 

“What makes you so sure, Mr. King of Hell, that these people here can’t be redeemed?” This voice was new and soft.

I turned to the mystery girl. Her eyes were lit with a flame. I could see how much passion she had for my daughter's cause. As I went to speak back, Charlie interjected. 

“Father, I only want to do this for you, for my people. Your dreams are what gave me this goal.” I was taken aback. I was Charlie's prime motivation; my stories and goals helped her become this remarkable woman. 

“Your daughter is twice the ruler of you; she's willing to save her people; what are you willing to do?” The mystery woman had a point. I was a coward, too prideful of what I had to allow it to fall potentially. I looked at Charlie, and a moment formed between us. 

“Alright, let’s get Heaven on the line then.” I knew it was time to face my fear to help the people I pleaded for all those years ago. I may not be able to stand my ground due to the contract, but damn can my daughter and her friends do it. 

While Charlie started getting ready for her meeting, I was a nervous wreck. What if something happened to her? I knew the cruel hands that played in heaven and what could be done.

As I was pacing back and forth in the lobby, a figure stood before me, a drink in hand, and the other extended a glass to me. I looked up, and it was her; she was still just as beautiful as the first time I saw her. I gently took the glass and downed the concoction in it. “Thank you, uh, my name is Lucifer Morningstar, affamed fallen angel and father of Charlie.” 

“I know; I was here when everything went down.” She looked at me blankly. Of course, she was here. Jesus, could I be any lamer?

She snorted at my facial expression and stuck her hand out for me. “My name is Y/N; nice meeting you, Mr. King of Hell; it’s a pleasure. By the way, I only said all that because I knew it would strike a nerve in you. I learned from my past anyone prideful hates when their authority is challenged.” 

In her past, odd, there weren’t a lot of demons here who A would let someone challenge their authority and live, so she must be powerful, or B, she is speaking of her mortal life. However, something about both of those options did not seem quite right.

I nodded gently at her and sat at the bar. She soon tended to the others in the hotel, and I began to observe her. She acted like a mother, telling the others what to and not to do double-checking the other inhabitants of the hotel before they left the building.

Hell, she even talked to Alastor on some sort of equal ground. Something was different about her, so so different. I looked at my hand again while I took another swig of my refilled glass. Setting the glass down, I started to twirl the ring. Would Lilith have been this good to everyone? Would Lilith have even cared? 

I sighed; if I wanted to help Charlie, I had to let go of the past. I took the ring off, dropped it in the liquor, and went to the front door. As I reached for the handle, I was stopped by a soft hand on my wrist.

Turning, I saw Y/N, “Hey, one second, mister, you forgot this.” She placed the ring down in the palm of my hand. “I have been scorned by love too. Don’t get me wrong, I also took off my band long ago. However, I can say that though their memory is tainted now, you should enjoy the memories of good when you can. Helps keep the bad thoughts away.” She smiled up at me so brightly I couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate it. Do say you seem like a swell mother figure to all these people here. Why tie yourself to this place if you don’t want redemption? I remember what you said earlier, ‘All these people’, excluding yourself.” She stalled, hesitating about how she wanted to answer.

I just shook my head and smiled at her. I began to walk away back to my home. As I made my way back I heard Y/N shout, “COME BACK SOON LUCIFER!” For some reason, I really liked how my name sounded from her. 

~~~~~ Reader POV ~~~~~

You were sat at the hotel by yourself, Angel, and the others all went to a club while Charlie and Vaggie went to Heaven. You had time to think about the most recent occurrence in your life: Lucifer.

It was a whirlwind that day meeting him. So many emotions overtook you: fear, anger, an odd sense of curiosity. You couldn’t lie. He was attractive, and the way he was protective of Charlie was adorable. You never got to have children; your ex-husband never wanted them.

You don’t know what possessed you to speak to Lucifer like you did, telling him he was a lowly king. You used the excuse that you had done it to others in your past, which was valid; you and Adam argued a lot. Deep down, you knew, though, that's not why you did it. You wanted to protect Charlie and her dream. 

Sighing, you made your way around the building, ensuring the halls were clean and everything was orderly. You still weren't fond of all the allowed things here in hell, so going out with everyone was a once-in-a-blue moon.

It struck you as amusing when Lucifer commented on you being a mother figure because that is how everyone saw you. Hell, even Alastor commented one or two times that you reminded him of his angel of a mother. You just wanted the best for everyone; it wasn’t fair to die and then be killed again. 

You heard the lobby door open once you were done doing your rounds. Odd, typically, everyone stayed out way late, and the girls weren't expected back till tomorrow.

As you descended the stairs, you saw none other but the man plaguing your mind: Lucifer. Smiling softly, you met him at the base of the stairs, giving him a short wave. He smiled at you and announced that he figured everyone would be gone today and was going to help out Charlie. You snorted at him and explained how you stayed back to help but were more than pleased to allow him to keep you company. He took refuge at the bar, and you soon joined him.

You two talked for hours about so many things, from his life as an angel to your old mortal life. You guys even talked about the differences between Heaven and Hell. Hopefully, you weren't giving your old station away to him, but a part of you didn’t care.

By the time you two got to the dreaded conversation about relationships, you were inebriated. You recounted your betrayal to Lucifer, holding nothing back. From your teenage years with your ex till the day he turned from you while Adam pushed you. Lucifer looked so heartbroken for you.

He gently pushed some hair out of your face when he said, “I am so sorry that happened to you, Y/N. I knew something was different about you, so you too fell from that dreaded cliff like I.” You nodded sadly. 

Lucfier explained why he made his decisions and how Charlie's life was threatened if he didn’t end Lilith’s music and allow the Exorcist to come down. He told you something interesting about the clause of the agreement: No Hell Born Could Be Harmed In The Extermination Less The Binding Be Null And Void.

This was amusing to you; even after singing his people away for slaughter, he was still concerned the angels would trick him and harm his child. He was always thinking about those he loved. It was endearing.

How could someone leave such a handsome, kind, protective man? The thought even crossed your mind that Lucifer would have fallen with you if he had been your husband instead of letting Adam take the lead.

As these thoughts crossed your mind, you didn’t realize how close your two faces were getting. Before you knew it, your lips were touching Lucifers gently. Seconds passed, and his hands were buried in your hair, kissing you with a passion you never got from your ex. 

As you two broke apart, the doors to the hotel opened again. Angel came running over to you, noticing your state of drunkenness. He apologized to Lucifer, stating you never really drank much and took you to your room.

You smiled softly as Lucifer said a quick ‘goodbye’ and ‘good night’ to you before drifting off to sleep. Your dreams that night were full of Lucifer, his beauty, charisma, and devotion eating you alive. You may have sworn off love, but for him to love you how he once loved Lilith would be beautiful. 

~~~~~ TIME SKIP ~~~~~

Months had passed since your night with Lucifer, and a whole war between you at the hotel and the angels broke out. Everyone learned of your past in Heaven from Adam before he perished.

You felt free, no longer chained to the past that harmed you. Now you had something more to look forward to. Though you and Lucifer never spoke of that night again, you held the memory close. He loved Lilith a lot, and especially Charlie; for all you knew, when he kissed you that night, he was just imagining Lilith once more. It hurts to think that, but you must be true to yourself. 

After Adam's carnage, it was awkward for you and Lucifer. You two avoided eye contact and only spoke when you had to. However, as time passed and you both pretended the night alone never happened, things changed.

You and Lucifer did become fast friends, though. Having shared a fall from heaven, deep heart break, and even more so a hotel together it was hard not too. It was hard ever to see you two separated from one another. Laughing, joking, talking, and even debating over effective ways to pull in more Sinners.

You two became more affectionate as well, his hand on the small of your back, him guiding you by his arm, or even you adjusting his cravat and making him his favorite teas. To onlookers, it seemed like you two were married. 

It was so compelling that you two were married that even Charlie told you she would be fine if you loved her dad.

Love…That's such a strong word. Is that what you felt? You can’t lie. You fantasize about it. You were scared, though. What if he let you down like your ex did? Can you handle being a mom to Charlie, not just a figure, a real mom taking the spot Lilith left? That was a worry, too; what about Lilith if she returned? Would he go back to her?

Would you be left so suddenly again? 

While your mind raced, you mindlessly swept the corner of your room, thinking deeply about this debacle. When suddenly, your door bursts open. 

~~~~~ Lucifer’s POV ~~~~~

I was ecstatic after my night with Y/N. She was excellent, calm, cunning, and articulate. She also knew my pain of the angels turning on you. The kiss meant so much to me. I was finally feeling things I hadn’t felt before Lilith left.

Lilith….was I ready to move on? Could I move on?

When I closed my eyes that night, I saw both old memories of Lilith and the times we had, but also new visions of Y/N and all we could be. She was terrific; if only I could get to know her more and see how she felt. She also stated she swore off love, too.

Would I be included? 

When the day came for the extermination, I couldn’t bear to turn on the news; I didn’t want to see Charlie's dreams get crushed. I sat and waited, staring at the clock. As soon as the chaos broke out, I was up and pacing.

It wasn’t just Charlie; I was worried about Y/N being there too. Yes, she was a fighter and trained those Angels, but what if the worst happened? What if you died protecting Charlie?

That's one thing he loved: how motherly you were for his daughter. Not that Lilith never was, but it was clear to him that no matter how hard life got, you would stand by those you loved side.

Why couldn’t Lilith have done that for them? 

That was when I felt the tug, a complex, sudden pull. Half of the signed agreement shriveled; that only meant one thing.

I ran as fast as I could to the hotel; once I saw the carnage, I flew to protect Charlie. It was Adam, the man who turned the heavens against me, who turned heaven against you. Years of pent-up rage and a new passion for protecting Y/N overtook me as Charlie and I took down the angels.

Once the battle felt calm, everyone began looking for you and Alastor. Honestly, I could care less about the Radio Demon. He gave me bad vibes, but you were missing. You went in to save Vaggie from Lute; however, no one saw you anywhere when the building collapsed. 

Shouting, digging through rubble, I heard Charlie yell out that she had found you. Sighing now that I knew you were alive and only minorly injured, we cleaned up.

With a bit of magic and a whap bam boom, we had a new Hazbin Hotel, oh and Alastor returned. I wanted to discuss your past with you about a potential us, but I couldn’t. You looked so happy now that the chains of your past were broken. 

The next couple of months were odd, for sure. I couldn't stand to look Y/N in the eyes, and though I yearned for her, I couldn't bear the weight of rejection again.

I tried, though, to show her how much I wanted her in subtle ways. What was a once-stolen night became a close friendship. I could tell her anything and everything. She was like a breath of fresh air; she never denied any of the ideas Charlie or I had, instead helping make them better. With her and I’s past with heaven, we knew how to overcome the obstacles they would throw. 

Before I knew it, I craved her touch and comfort, and she gave it to me. Small lingering touches of hands, hugs that lasted too long, small gifts and favors never asked for. I was falling and falling hard. She was everything I could want. I loved Y/N.

Oh god, I loved Y/N. I was a wreck seeking counsel from the only other person who knew me best, Charlie. She was so happy, begging me to confess and tell Y/N how I felt. Could I, though? Would she accept me? Could she take the new title of Queen of Hell? 

As I lay in bed pondering the conversation Charlie and I had, thinking of the new memories I had made with Y/N, I was stuck. Confess and have a happy new life, or confess, and she leaves me, too. You weren't one to go, though I knew that. What if, though, you weren't ready?

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander; I saw Y/N in a beautiful dress at our wedding, Y/N giving me another child, and Y/N fighting alongside Charlie and me. That’s it; I can’t hold back any longer.

I dressed myself in my robe and marched my way to your door. I began to knock, but I heard nothing in the room. Sighing because I knew Y/N had to be in here, I busted the door open, and there you were, staring off into space so cutely.

Shit.

~~~~~ Readers POV ~~~~~

The noise startled you from your thoughts. There before you stood Lucifer in his robes. Smirking, You turned away from the man and laughed gently into your hand. “What are you doing here, goober? It's the middle of the night, and you are very underdressed.”

No questions were answered, though, as Lucifer approached you; he stood there staring you in the eyes. You didn’t know what this look meant, but it was intense. Had you offended him? 

As you went to speak again, Lucifer placed one of his hands on your cheek, cupping your face. You looked at his hand and back up at him; you were breathing too fast. As you two looked at one another, no words were uttered; slowly, Lucifer placed his other hand on your waist.

You laid claim to his chest with your hands gently splayed there. Something in his eyes begged you to be closer and not push him away. How could you? He was holding you in a way that you had only dreamed of. 

Lucfier moved closer to your face, your lips mere inches apart when he spoke, “Y/N, I love you. No, that doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings. I am fascinated, lust-filled, and desire you and you alone. I want forever to be with you, a time I only thought possible with one person who never intended to fill that role. A forever purely our own with our family. A future dedicated to following dreams and passion. Following our love. Will you stay with me, Y/N? Please stay with me.” 

You were speechless, your mouth slightly agape, and you didn’t know how to process such emotions. You were overwhelmed and so excited. You knew if you took any longer to confirm or deny him he would leave and never speak of this, just like the kiss before.

You did the only thing you thought you could at that moment. You wrapped your arms around his neck and closed the gap. Kissing Lucifer this time felt just as good, if not better, than the last. Your hands tied in his hair, holding him close. His hands are keeping you in place, his kiss fierce and dominating. Before you knew it, he had his hands just under the cusp of your ass, prompting you to jump. As you did, you never broke the kiss. 

Lucifer leads you to the nearest wall, kissing your lips and neck. This was everything you dreamed of, everything you wanted. Each kiss was a contract that you two would never hurt the other as your partners did.

You felt alive, like electricity was coursing through your veins. Every kiss made a new pattern in your heart, soon beating in time with Lucifers. The heated kisses died down and turned into soft, light ones. Placing your feet back on the ground, you hugged Lucifer close, his head buried in your neck and yours in his. 

You smiled a large smile before whispering, “I will always stay by your side, Lucifer. You and Charlie are my reason, my purpose now.” You could feel his smile next to your ear without ever having to open his mouth.

You were so happy.

You two heard a shutter sound as you pulled away, and a bright flash erupted behind Lucifer. As you turned to the door, everyone stood there: Charlie was happy and clapping, Vaggie was giving a thumbs up, Alastor was holding the camera, Nifty was making gagging sounds, and Angel was smirking. You laughed wholeheartedly; who knew a broken heart would beat again?

My good friend @willowaudreykeyes helped me with the editing a bit! I appreciate the effort and time they put into assisting me. Even though we live halfway across the world from one another, you have my back!

[originalgenshinscenarios]

Heya! Your writing looks pretty nice hehe! Don't mind me asking for something a little special!

How about Yandere!Kujou Sara with a shy, timid reader? Perhaps the reader is scared of her at first, but once they start to slowly open up, she starts getting endeared and attached? I hope you have fun with this idea!

I did have a lot of fun with it. I didn't exactly see Sara as a possible yandere type until I started thinking of this scenario- even though I think I could do it better. I just can't tell what would I need to change to be honest.

Yandere! Sara with a timid S/O

Cw: manipulation

Reader here is: Gender neutral

Disclaimer: everything in purple text is Sara's narrative so these notes especially aren't meant to be taken seriously. This is not healthy. This entire scenario isn't showing a healthy relationship. Nor is it gloryfing it.

At first she didn't pay any attention to you. Your lives bearly ever crossed and you liked it that way. She was... A bit terrifying.

Her cold glare, her strictness. It was just hard to see past it. It's like she was allergic to smiling.

But fate has it that it likes to mess around. Things changed, slightly but they did either way.

You were helping a friend out run a stall during a festival. It was pretty hard for you given how you didn't want to interact with people.

Luckily, you didn't have to do much around the customers... Until your friend went to take a break.

You were all by yourself. Eventually you were yelled at by a customer and just as luck would have it- Sara was passing by.

Seeing that person cause a ruckus she stopped that person without even second of hesitation.

She was your hero, and you couldn't thank her enough. The way you held onto her hand shaking, your eyes avoiding hers as if she'd turn you into stone if you dared to look... It was captivating.

There was just something in the way you acted. She couldn't put a finger on why was that... But she wanted to feel that again. Even if it meant placing you in an uncomfortable situation once more.

She started following you. You were unaware of it but your gut told you something was off. Your friends dismissed it as you being too paranoid and that nothing was wrong.

And they were right to think that, after all she was only looking out for you. In time, you'll see that. It was normal for Sara to walk around Inazuma so any place you "accidentally" bumped into her felt natural.

Eventually you started interacting more with each save. Her black wings almost looked like that of an angel to you. She was happy when you started to actually talk... Even if neither of you knew what to talk about exactly. But it was fine as long as you looked only at her.

Whenever you smiled at her she felt things unlike any other... But she liked whenever she made you feel safe much more. She wanted you to rely on her.

She loved feeling useful. You had to have her by your side or else you wouldn't know how to function.

She was attached to a point where she took you everywhere. She didn't want to be away for even a moment. At first you just thought it was because of the fact that you freshly started dating... But it was only partly the reason.

You didn't want to see her wrongs. You were so focused on the times she helped you, you didn't think about how toxic she was becoming. Then again, how is keeping you safe toxic? Sure sometimes she overreacted but that's because she loved you.

[raincitygirl76]

I think what frustrated me most in season 3 about the August video plot being wrapped up in the first five minutes wasn’t that August was getting away with it, it was that S2 had specifically created a scenario where he couldn’t get away with it. It had laid groundwork for a plot in S3 that suddenly disappeared, with visible plot holes left behind.

In S1, I wasn’t surprised when August got away with filming and posting the video. Rich, well-connected sex offenders avoid prosecution and public exposure all the time. It felt unjust, particularly because the royal court were protecting a sex offender over his victim who was Kristina’s own child. But I understood exactly why Kristina and the royal court had made those choices, even though I didn’t like said choices. If the video plot had been left there, as it was at the end of 1.06, I wouldn’t have objected. August got away with it, of course he did. That’s just what happens.

But in season 2, the video plot gradually built to a crescendo where it became urgently relevant again and August seemed in genuine danger of prosecution and even prison (both Rickard and Rosh mentioned prison). We saw it from 2.01 onwards, when Wilhelm took every possible opportunity to inflict petty humiliations on August, since he’d been denied real justice.

We saw it in Marcus suddenly taking an interest in Simon. They’d obviously been acquaintances for years, with their moms being friends. And they’re two of the very few out gay boys in Bjardstad. But Marcus never approached Simon romantically until a few weeks after the video was released, and then he approached intensely.

We also saw the video plot building in 2.05 when Wilhelm finally revealed to Simon that August was the perpetrator, and Simon was furious Wilhelm had known this for so long and kept it to himself. Simon felt disgusted and betrayed that his fellow victim of the video had protected the perpetrator. And we saw the difference in attitude between Wilhelm and Simon. Wilhelm pragmatic and cynical, knowing the full machinery of the royal court would gear up to destroy Simon.

Simon determined to press charges and convinced he could somehow hold August to account in spite of the royal court. And the conflict where Simon directly accuses Wilhelm of keeping secrets claiming to protect him, but really protecting himself. And Wilhelm later echoes that accusation in the jubilee speech, although I’m getting ahead of myself.

As of 2.05, on my first watch back in November 2022, I still assumed August would continue to get away with it. August had money and influence, Simon had neither. I already knew how these things so often go in real life. Also, August had Sara, warning him in advance that Simon knew and was planning to press charges. As of the end of 2.05, Simon was planning to go to the police and Wilhelm was doing nothing to warn August or the royal court. I was compelled, but I was also distracted by the curtains scene.

At the beginning of 2.06, we saw August’s desperation, him reaching out to Jan-Olof, and Jan-Olof’s indifference. We could see August starting to panic like a rat in a trap, seeing long delayed justice approaching him. And then August invited Alexander into his room and made his proposal. The rat was no longer panicking, he was fighting back with every weapon at his disposal.

In 2.06, when August and Alexander met Wilhelm at the Society’s party venue, Wilhelm was the one panicking, August had his fear under control again. He used the full force of his personality, and of Alexander’s desire for revenge against Wilhelm, to assure Wilhelm that no matter what he and Simon did, August would slide away from the mess, reputation intact. And Simon would be the one in trouble with the police. A smug August wass back on top of the world, with his twin schemes to discredit Simon and blame Alexander whirring along beautifully.

And then we had the shooting range scene, where devastating secrets came out. In the aftermath, Simon accepted that he couldn’t seek justice from the police without implicating himself for the drugs. For the second time, August had gotten away with his crime. But I was full of questions anyway.

Had August overreached himself by admitting his crime to Alexander? Yeah, Alexander hated Wilhelm, but his arrangement with August wass built on mutual convenience, not loyalty to August. A big question mark for Season 3. Also, nobody at the royal court actually liked August, he was just next in line. If word got out to the media and the public that August was the perpetrator, Kristina & Co. would likely throw him overboard without a second thought.

So throughout 2.06, my mind was awhirl with possibilities. Yes, technically, August seemed to have gotten away with it for a second time, but the video plot had been building since 2.01. I was starting to wonder if August might actually go down for his crime finally. And then Sara pulled out her cell phone and called the police to report a crime, and I yelped so loudly at the TV I scared the cat.

Finally, the crucial payoff for six episodes of build-up. Finally, the police had been involved, and soon after them, I was sure the media would get wind of it. It seemed like the perfect climax to the season, setting up a riveting conflict for S3.

As of the end of 2.06, I wasn’t really expecting August to go to prison for the video, even though both Rosh and Rickard hinted that could happen (earlier in S2). But I was expecting August to be arrested, and probably even charged. I expected the royal court to interfere somewhere along the way and use behind the scenes influence to get the charges dropped. Probably as part of a quid pro quo with August whereby he’d take sole blame for the video. Thus protecting the royal court from the public finding out they had already known it was August.

But I was also expecting the media and the public to be all over August. Once the police were involved (and we’d seen Sara involve them), it seemed impossible to keep it quiet any longer. I was anticipating a scenario where August technically got away with it, but his precious reputation was ruined. And the public was repelled at the idea of making August Wilhelm’s backup. That seemed to be what Lisa was building towards throughout S2. She built up those expectations with every strand of plot laid out in S2.

And then S3 opened with a civil settlement, an NDA, and the police no longer interested. Meaning August had gotten away with it for a third time, even after all the building blocks from S2 that he had finally run out of ways to evade justice. And then it never got mentioned again. Neither was Arnas mentioned, which August presumably had to sell to pay off Simon and Wilhelm.

It all just went away in the first five minutes. All that buildup from S2, wasted. So that is why I disliked the settlement story. Because Lisa spent all of S2 telling one story, then suddenly changed her mind after she’d already laid out all the ground work, reversed, and decided to tell a completely different, much less interesting story.

[wutheringcaterpillar]

Remember That Night? Chapter 2/4

Summary: Aaron recalls what he witnessed after following you home and has to find a way to cope with his emotions. What will happen when you arrive at his room, asking questions, and he has to make a decision on whether or not to tell you the truth of how he feels?

Warnings: descriptions of depression

taglist: @ivebeenthearchersstuff @himboelover @zaddyhotch @rousethemouse @pambeasleylover

It took Aaron nearly two hours to arrive home, he ended up taking side roads to make the drive last a bit longer. This was a night he really wished he had Jack but he insisted on staying at Jess’s for the night because he missed his dear auntie. Aaron didn’t want to go home to his empty apartment, the place that he once shared endless nights with you, unforgettable nights. He was alone once again, the passenger seat sat empty.

For a moment he reached his hand over to grab yours imagining you were in the car next to him but when his fingers gripped nothing but thin air he settled his hand onto the middle console, wishing hopelessly that you’d come back to him. In his head the image of your face took over, all he could think of was the way you smiled at him like no other ever could.

 Arriving at his destination he parked his car as he wept, he felt desperate. You had moved on and it was all on him he messed up again, he lost Haley, and he lost you. How could he be so stupid, how could he put his job before you? He knew deep down that the only reason he pushed you away was because he was scared to fall in love again. Beth was just a distraction and his heart knew it. It didn’t flutter when he saw Beth like the way it did with you. He knew you inside and out and what did he know about Beth? If someone had asked him how many siblings she had he couldn’t even answer that but if someone came up to him about something involving you he could go on for forever. 

His phone rang pulling him back to reality but it was Dave, and he had known this man long enough to know that he’d be able to read him right away by just the sound of his voice so he just answered the phone, as he was, a complete mess. “Hotchner.” 

“Why did I just get a call that you put in your-“ the sounds of Aaron sniffling made him pause mid sentence. Aaron wasn’t okay and even though neither you or him outed it to the team about anything you had going on, Dave knew. “It’s Y/N isn’t it?” Aaron sighed deeply, running his free hand over his tear stained face, when he spoke nothing came out but a low, soft, broken whisper. “Yeah- I- I fucked up Dave.” 

There was silence on the line as Aaron watched out the window a couple had walked by on the sidewalk, holding hands, smiling. God how he wished that was the two of you.  He felt himself on the urge of crying once more. He had to get off this phone call he didn’t say a word before ending it and throwing his phone at the windshield, and burying his face onto the steering wheel. It wasn’t for nearly twenty minutes later that he got out of his car. His feet dragging slightly on the wet concrete before walking into his home that didn’t feel so much like a home. Jack wasn’t there, you weren’t there sleeping soundly in his bed. He was alone, again with nothing but the last remaining items you had left there. 

-

When he awoke out of his sleep your shirt was still clutched tightly in his grip. Glancing at the time on his phone he took note that he was going to be late for work but he didn’t have a care in the world. An empty void filled his chest, he blew it, he lost you entirely. The scent of you taking control of him, his nose nuzzling in deeper into your shirt. Chills lingered down his spine, but he knew he had to get up out of bed and find a way to get through the day without imagining you kissing your new friend every time he walked passed you.

 Groaning, he pulled himself up out of bed and lazily put his suit and tie on. When he walked in the bathroom to brush his teeth and comb through his hair he wasn’t even able to look at himself in the mirror. A ship of guilt had crashed into him anytime he looked at himself, he was ashamed of how he handled himself with you and deep down, he felt like a coward for putting his two weeks in but he just couldn’t look you in the eyes knowing you weren’t his anymore.

 When Aaron arrived at the office and Penelope was presenting the case she stopped mid sentence and every one turned to look at him. He looked at everyone in the room except for you. Derek was the first to comment on Aaron’s attire. He looked drained, like he wasn’t all there. Bags remained under his eyes along with dark circles, his suit and tie were disheveled, the collar not even buttoned all the way, his hair was combed but not to the standard that Aaron considered exceptional. “Well if it isn’t the boss man himself. You’re never late we were getting worried is every thing alright?” He was quick to ignore the question and sat down in the only empty seat that was next to you. “Everything is fine. What do we have?” 

The only time he looked at you through the presentation was when he knew you were focused on something else. He caught you looking at your phone and smiling down at it, and Spencer had made a comment about how happy you looked when exiting the room. Aaron couldn’t help but form a small smile. He was happy that you were getting through life but upset that it meant you were moving on from him. His mind was tangled in different directions, his mind knew how he should act accordingly but he was afraid his heart would effect his work performance, and this was another reason he was leaving. 

 He was walking out the door in front of you hurriedly but before he could make it he felt your grip on his wrist. That small touch just made him squeeze his eyes shut, the touch of your skin on him made him want more of you. 

When he turned to face you, he did his best to keep his composure. “Hey! Um I- I heard you put your two weeks in and I just- Well I guess I just wanted to know-“

 “Y/N i disregarded how you said you didn’t need me to follow you home and I followed you anyway. I think it’s best for me to leave, you’ve moved on and that’s what I need to do now.” He could tell when he spoke by the look on your face his words had stunned you. He was hitting himself in the head on the inside for being so foolish. “You- You followed me home? Aaron you didn’t need to-“ He wondered if your heart was breaking as much as his. 

When he turned around he noticed Emily and Penelope trying to pretend like they weren’t watching and listening. Aaron knew his friends weren’t stupid, and that they probably caught on awhile ago, another reason he needed to remove himself from this environment. “Listen, can we talk about this later? We need to go and I just can’t do this right now. I’m sorry- I’m sorry for every thing that’s happened but I’m happy that you’re happy.” With that said he smoothed down his tie and exited the room, leaving you there completely and utterly speechless, at a loss for words.

 Once on the plane he had sat down on the opposite side away from you, facing an empty seat, well was empty until Emily took the seat across from him. “So when are you going to tell her?” He looked taken aback, and put on a straight face. “Tell who what?” 

 “Come on, it’s me. I’m one of your closest friends and hers. I know when something’s up and I’ve had a hint for quite a bit.” 

“Emily, I don’t think this is the time or place and quite frankly I don’t particularly want to talk about my love life right now so let’s just focus on the case. Please.” He raised his eyebrows expectantly at her. If she didn’t drop it he was going to excuse himself to some other seat on the plane. 

Sighing with defeat, Emily folded her hands and looked at Aaron with caring eyes. “Alright, just- When you’re ready to talk about it you know where to find me.” He nodded respectfully and thanked her, before she took her seat back next to Derek. 

That night he followed you home he planned on telling you about Beth. The only reason he hadn’t done it in the office was because he wanted to be safe and be sure there weren’t any lingering ears. He sat there and contemplated in his mind, watching you from afar eyeing the case files. How could he not have known, how could you not have told him you had moved on. He couldn’t blame you after what he did to you but the thought of him mentioning that he still had feelings for you entered his mind quite a few times on the plane ride but he knew in no way was that fair. Taking one last glance at you before the plane landed, he looked at you with loving, desperate eyes but before yours could connect to his he looked away out the window, watching the clouds pass by in a daze. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be done loving you no matter how hard he tried. 

He had booked the room furthest from you, trying to put distance in between the two of you even though that was the absolute last thing he wanted. He wanted to be in your room with you, falling asleep next to you, knowing you were safe and sound. His heart quenched as he pulled out the shirt of yours he had packed with him. He was a mess and clinging on to the last important thing he still had of yours. It only made him feel more like a fool when he fell asleep with it in his hands once again. 

 When he awoke in the morning his arm was spread out on the empty side of the bed as if you were there. His lips curled into a small smile at the thought of you next to him. A knock on the door brought him out of his imagination. He let out a groan before tossing a shirt and sweats on and answering the door. When he opened it his heart rate sky rocketed when he saw the sight of you, with your messy hair, and two cups of coffee in your hand. “Can I come in?” He opened the door  giving you a full welcome to his room before taking the coffee you handed him. “Thank you. You’re up early.” You nodded in response, taking a seat in a cushioned chair by the bed. “I wanted to talk. If that’s okay?” He motioned for you to go on while taking a sip of his coffee. “Aaron- I want to know why you followed me home and before you start I want honesty. Please.” Tapping the side of his cup, he looked off to the window on the side of the room, eyebrows knitted together like the way they did when he was contemplating a situation in his mind. 

If he gave you his full honest answer, he’d lose you for good even as a friend, he just had a deep gut feeling you’d be upset and angry with him for how selfish he would be but on the other end he couldn’t lie to you, you’d know if he was from how well he knew you could read him like a book and tell right on the spot if he was lying. “Well, where would you like me to start.” 

“The beginning would be wonderful.” He nodded in response before dragging his hand over his face. This was going to be the hardest conversation he’s ever had in his life and he just prayed that he wouldn’t shed a tear. “Well. About two weeks into dating Beth I realized something. She wasn’t you. I told myself I’d never do this to a woman but I dragged you into my world and for months we made it our world. When I told you we needed to end it that wasn’t a wise decision on my part. I wasn’t seeing Beth the whole time, it wasn’t until about a week after I broke it off I met her. I was trying so hard to force myself to get over you because I never thought I’d be in the position I was in, dating my beautiful employee, and falling so outrageously deep in love with her that it terrified me.” He looked up at you and saw you had stopped all movement, your coffee was now sat on the floor, spilt over onto the carpet. Your eyebrows raised, and mouth slightly agape. Those pretty eyes that he once made big and wide with love, now on the brink of tears, filled with sadness. He continued on and looked at the floor. 

“The reason I followed you home wasn’t just to make sure you made it there safely but to tell you all of this, but I understand that you have moved on and you’re happy and I fully respect that which is why I put my two weeks in. I can’t be near you and put myself through endless regret every day. Just know that every thing we did was real and that I’m glad you have found someone who’s not afraid to love you. Truly. You deserve it but I still-“ Another knock on the door had him wiping his eyes from the tears that were about to form and he watched as you excused yourself to the restroom to get yourself back together. 

The knock on the door was Dave informing him that it was time they go and all he did was nod in response. He quickly got dressed and knocked on the restroom door letting you know you all were about to head out and when he got a broken “Okay” from the other side he wanted to slam his fist against the door. He shouldn’t have said anything at all. He made you upset like he knew he would but he turned and let his back and head rest on the door, looking up at the ceiling as a tear slid down his cheeks, causing a single wet tear droplet to fall onto the floor. This was going to be a long, difficult day for the both of you to say the least. 

-

The endless longing stares and the distance he forced upon the two of you made him go crazy the whole day. If it weren’t for Spencer pulling him out of his mind earlier, the unsub would have gotten away. 

 The two weeks had dragged by, Aaron began to drink practically every night he didn’t have Jack. For some reason he assumed you would at least text or call him or even talk to him at the office about the last conversation the two of you shared but you didn’t and that’s when he realized he made the right decision by leaving the bureau. 

Entering the building on his last day he was welcomed with warm hugs and tears from the team and of course the goodbye cake Penelope had gotten for him. He had gotten to say goodbye to everyone except you, he couldn’t find you for the life of him. “Dave where’s Y/N?” 

“She called in sick but she said she left a case for you on your desk.” He nodded in response and headed into his office, it wasn’t a case. It was a letter that lay there with his name written on the envelope in your hand writing. He closed his door, and made his way to his chair taking a deep breath before opening it.

 “Aaron. I wanted to say thank you for being such a great man to me. I apologize I couldn’t be there for your last day but just know, I believe you. That it was all real. I knew it was and that’s why I’m wishing you all the success in the world for your new job. You were a pleasure to work with and I think wherever you’re going and whoever you may work with in the future are going to be lucky to have you. You don’t need to respond, just live and be safe please.   -Y/N” 

He gently folded the letter and tucked it in his pocket. When he picked up and threw the envelope in his trash can he hadn’t noticed the small note that was left in the corner. A small smile formed on his face, accompanied by dimples and the flow of one single tear, once more on his final day. Buckling his suitcase, he said his goodbyes, glancing one last time at the office before leaving.

[back2bluesidex]

I came solemnly to make my request: can we have a pjm fic where he just cheated on you and then you confront him and he realized he made the biggest mistake of his life 🙊

Wildest Dreams - JM

Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Theme: Angst, breakup au

Song: Wildest Dreams

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Infidelity, cheating, break up.

A/N: anon didn't mention a song (probably because it's a random request) so I added the most suitable one. Also thank you so much for this request and I hope you like it.

“Baby.. I missed you.” Jimin preps your shoulder and neck with small kisses. His hands are wrapping up around your waist from behind. His lithe body presses onto your numb one. 

Surprisingly, you don’t feel anything. You are neither melting down for his touch, his kisses nor do you feel angry enough to push him on the hard cold floor to walk out of this apartment, you once called home, walk out of his life. You are, again, just numb. 

But what is ticking you off badly right now, are Jimin's words. He missed you? He missed you all along the time he was lying to you? While he told you he was on a business trip only for you to find out he was on a vacation with another woman? He missed you while he fucked her in a luxurious hotel bed? Funny! He is certainly mocking you. He is mocking your feelings, the time you had together and the engagement rings that sit on both of your ring fingers. 

“Are you sure that you missed me?” you hold on the balcony railing goes tighter. 

Jimin detaches his head from your neck and brings it sideways to partially face you. You can see him smirking from your peripheral vision. 

“Do you doubt me baby? Hmm?” he presses a kiss on your left cheek. 

“I kept on thinking of you… during all the meetings, all the team dinners, while having drinks. They had the lemon flavored gin that you love so much.” 

You chuckle dryly, “Really? Then did you think of me when you fucked that woman naming Sara on your hotel bed?” 

You finally face Jimin for the first time since he arrived. You see his eyes going wide, hands starting to tremble, face starting to fall, voice starting to lose. 

“What happened, Jimin? Did you miss me while fucking her or not?” you press on more. You didn’t know you could sound this sarcastic. 

“Y/N…” Jimin somehow manages to make his voice audible enough to your ears. And even that ticks you off badly now. 

“What? How do I know? That’s what you wanna ask? Then let me tell you, Park Jimin. I have known your whereabouts for an exact of three months and seven days now. All these times I have been silently praying for you to realize your mistake. For you to confess your sins to me. All these times I have been giving you one last chance. But guess what? I was a fool! I was a fool to believe you will regret your choice. I was a fool-” you choke on your saliva and then you realize you have been crying, tears are making a mess on your face, “I was a fool to believe you have ever loved me. I was a fool to believe that I have changed you.” 

Jimin feels as if his eyes are losing sight. An enormously giant cloud is hovering above his head and taking away all the sunshine he has ever had. Now all he sees is darkness. 

He gapes for words but what can he even say when he is the one at fault? 

He doesn’t know where everything went wrong. He doesn’t know how one drunken mistake turned into a repeated willing sin. But what he does know is that he loves you. And he is realizing that again right when he is about to lose you… forever. 

“You could have told me once. You could have told me that you don’t want me anymore, I would have walked away right then. Did you really have to break my trust and go behind my back, Jimin? Did you really have to do that?” You spat your words at his face, grabbing his shirt harshly. 

He desperately tries to hold your face and wipe your tears but you shove his hands away as if his touches burn. 

“Y/N.. I- I am sorry. I am a bad person. I should have never-” 

“Please keep your half-assed apology to yourself when you don’t even mean it.” you scoff at him, violently rubbing your tears away with the sleeve of your cardigan. 

“No. I mean it. I- please Y/N. I will make everything alright. Please-” Jimin’s face now matches yours, all teary and messy. 

“Make everything alright?” an unintended scoff leaves from your throat, “can you make things right for all the times you eyed every other woman while I was right beside you? Can you make things right for all nights I waited for you while you had extra workload? Will you be able to make things right for the times when you shamelessly flirted with my friends even?” your voice trembles, “can you make things right for all the times you have taken me for granted? Tell me Jimin.. Can you?” 

Jimin doesn’t say anything. He stares at you through his tear-blurred vision wishing for the ground to split into half and swallow him. 

“Not everything can be alright.” You say as you bring both of your hands together in order to pluck out your engagement ring from your ring finger. 

As soon as Jimin understands what you are going to do, he grabs both of your hands with his. His grip is so tight that it makes you hiss.

Within an instant, Jimin sinks down on his knees and breaks into a loud sob. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately), the scene doesn’t bother you a bit. 

“Please Y/N! No. I beg you, don’t do this! I will be better. I will be the best. I won’t give you any chance to complain anymore. Just don’t do this. We promised each other forever, didn’t we?” 

“I thought so.” you reply with a small voice as you look away from his trembling figure. “I thought we promised forever… even though I know…” you pause inhaling a lot of oxygen,

“Nothing lasts forever. But this…”  you point at the ring with your eyes, “This is gonna take me down.”   

“Y/N-”

“And I can’t let that happen, Jimin. Not anymore.” These are your last words before you pull the ring out of your finger despite his strong grip.

“It’s over.” and you turn to walk away. 

Jimin is swift as he stands on his feet, grabs you by your arm and pulls you into his embrace. 

“Please Y/N! I can’t live without you.” 

“Yes you can, Jimin. You have lived all these times without me, tangled in other women’s beds, night after night. Live just like this from now on as well. Just say you’ll remember me, standing here on this balcony, wearing that lilac dress you brought me for our engagement day. Say that you will remember us, promising each other forever while exchanging rings.” and you tiptoe, reach Jimin’s height, place your lips on his forehead. He holds you close for one last time, cries on your shoulder as you two approach an inevitable end of your relationship.   

[mae-gi-writes]

It’s (just so) awkward | jungkook - part three

No way. We’re too different and he’s so—so black and white. A straight-up yes-or-no kind of guy. And I’m not.”

PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART

———-

You had been momentarily blinded. A bit distracted.

That was the only reasonable explanation for you feeling as though you had a middle school crush on your high school friend. It should be the only reasonable explanation. There was nothing else that could explain it and you were glad to leave it at that.

That didn’t mean that his words went by unnoticed. That night after your small ice cream escapade had you turning and tossing in bed as you replayed Jungkook’s over and over again in your head like a broken cassette tape. He had every right to be mad at you, after all, for dissing his other good friend. Sara hadn’t done anything but be kind to you. You were the mean one, the asshole.

You couldn’t help it.

Which was why you made it a must to stay away as much as normally possible. And of course, Jungkook noticed. What did he not? It was as clear as day that you were preoccupying yourself on purpose just so that you wouldn’t have to accidentally bump into him or her on campus, ensuring that you knew his timetable by heart so that you could take another transportation slot.

You managed to keep up that small charade, until the Inter-College Sports Olympics came along.

Every university had to take part in the Sports Olympics without fail and since Jungkook had been a naturally good basketball player, had been recruited in playing for the team, along with Changbin and a few other boys from your cohort. You’d had no choice but to accompany a whiny Yoona and an excited Jimin to the games, and maneuvered through the horde of people to get to your assigned seats.

You were busy rustling through your bag for a tissue — your nose was running, no thanks to that stupidly cold weather — when you accidentally bumped into an elbow.

Turning, you started to apologize when the stranger just smiled at you and said, “don’t worry about it. Happens all the time.”

“Yeah sorry,” you felt bad for him, he seemed crammed in this tiny seat, “it’s always like this. I don’t understand what’s the big deal with these games.”

“To be honest, neither do I,” the stranger shook his head and grinned. He was gorgeous, you noticed, with a beautifully sculpted nose and dark lashes that framed his brown eyes, full lips that would make any girl jealous, “my name’s Taehyung. I’m majoring in engineering.”

Taehyung, you found, had come all the way from his tiny countryside town in hopes of making it big for the sake of his dying mother who had been attained by cancer last summer. When you’d tried to stumble through a series of condolences, he’d merely shook his head and brushed it off, saying that it was now part of his life and that there was nothing to feel sorry for.

“It’s something that just comes and goes, right?” He shrugged and you wondered whether he was just trying to pretend he was fine, wondered whether he locked himself behind closed doors to cry his heart out, “anyway, is there anyone you’re here for?”

To be honest, you weren’t focusing on the game at all. Rather, what the mysterious young man had to say seemed to be much more interesting, which was how you found yourself deep in discussion until Yoona’s firm grip on your arm brought you back to reality.

“He’s got it! He’s got the ball!”

Indeed, as you squinted to find Jungkook, you spotted the said dark-haired man practically flying through the court, the ball as if made to fit in his palm, before he twisted and soared, tossing it perfectly so that it gently slid into the net. Perfect.

The crowds broke into applause and cheers. You cried out his name and next to you, Taehyung chuckled as he clapped, “you know this guy?”

“We’re close friends since high school.”

The first opening match of the Sports Olympics came to an end with your university winning by twenty points. The crowd erupted with yells and cheers as they swarmed onto the court, players getting bombarded with attention and amidst it all, Sara going over to Jungkook with a grin so wide that you had to look away, for fear of your heart suddenly breaking in two.

“I’m going to wait outside by the car,” you mumble out to Yoona and slipped through the throng of people before she could even call out your name.

The air was crisp and cold outside, a good contrast to the heat permeating your skin. You breathed in, chest aching with some kind of unknown emotion as your palms fisted at your sides.

It was a weird feeling, the one that seemed to spread through your chest like a flame that wouldn’t die down no matter how much logic you poured over it in hopes of getting it to die down.

It licked and burned and hurt. And as you pressed your back against the cool surface of Jimin’s car, you wondered whether there was something that was seriously wrong with you.

This was Jungkook, and Sara was good for him. He deserved that much happiness.

So why couldn’t you just be happy for him?

”Y/N, there you are.”

Freezing, your eyes flew up to see none other than a dishevelled Jungkook still in his basketball jersey, sweat dotting his forehead and lips parted in a soft pucker, flushed with heat.

For a minute, you could only stare at him.

“What—“ the words blocked in your throat, “what are you doing here?”

He did that little nose scrunch that made his face turn decades younger, “I’m allergic to crowded places.”

“right.” You chuckled, “How could I forget?”

He stepped closer to you before leaning against the same vehicle, a soft sigh falling from his lips at the action.

“You played well,” you said in the comfortable silence, “thought you hated contact sports.”

“I do hate contact sports. There are so many germs on that basketball court,” he shuddered with a grimace, “but I had no choice. They didn’t have any players.”

“What a nice sense of duty you have.”

He pulled out his tongue at you in retaliation and you laughed, head thrown back as your eyes scrunched up at the night sky. Jungkook laughed along with you, his gaze holding an expression you couldn’t quite place which made you ask, “What?”

“I haven’t seen you laugh like this in a while,” he said bluntly, “it’s nice.”

“Ah,” that was true. It had been a rough few weeks of trying to come to terms with this newfound feeling about your best friend hat wouldn’t leave you alone. Jungkook had absolutely no idea how wrecked you were for him.

“About our conversation,” Jungkook suddenly spoke up, “you remember, when we spoke about Sara?”

You looked up at him, “yes.”

“Did I hurt your feelings?”

It was no use to lie. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry.” A pause. Then, “what did I say that hurt your feelings?”

“It was more how you said it. And to be honest, it was partly my fault, I was being mean—“

It was then that you noticed how close he was, so close you felt the warmth of his breath hit your skin and saw the small cracks in his lips. Your eyes flitted up to his, only to see him already gazing back at you with some sort of tenderness that made your insides quiver. Why was he looking at you like that?

“Jungkook?” You murmured out in the silence that fell, admiring the way his moles scattered across his face like stars, “what—“

“There you are!”

Both of you sprung apart like guilty teenagers, not quick enough to have escaped Jimin’s eyes as he stood before the car, “we were looking all over for you!” He didn’t hesitate to throw himself at the taller man, “congrats, bro! You rocked that court!”

“Thanks—“ Jungkook struggled and looked like he was about to be sick, patting Jimin’s back awkwardly as the rest of the group found their way to the cars. You turned away with hot cheeks, glad that it was only Jimin that caught you. You weren’t sure what exactly you’d be doing if Sara had been the one.

The rest of the evening was spent in Yoona’s single condo — paid by her father who was rich enough that he owned all the petrol companies in the country — with drinks and an assortment of snacks at the ready as more and more people piled in. It almost felt like she’d invited the whole cohort, which made you feel slightly uneasy knowing there were people around that you weren’t familiar with.

So you hid out on the terrace, gazing out at the city lights beyond while sipping your drink. It was where Changbin found you a few minutes later.

“Not your style?” He asked as he leaned against the railing.

You pulled a grimace, “yeah I don’t enjoy loud music much,” it was then that you realized he was actually here, “what are you doing here on a Saturday? Aren’t you supposed to be out partying your heart out? Why come to a stupid school party?”

“Believe it or not, your friend Yoona actually invited me,” he cocked his head at you with a small smile, “and to be honest, you and Jungkook have been a very interesting watch these days.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want it to mean,” he shrugged before directing his gaze back towards the beautiful city lights in the distance, “so tell me, he’s still very much infatuated with miss ol’ goodie two shoes?”

“I don’t know and it’s none of my business.”

“Uh I disagree,” Changbin brushed his bangs out of his face, “it is very much your business whether you like it or not.”

“Changbin, I’m not here to talk about my love life,” you looked down at the pavement below as you felt your hair cascade across your shoulders, “so please don’t bring it up again, it’s hard enough trying to forget him.”

“Alright, fair enough.” He then reached down before producing two bottles of soju, “want to drink your sorrows away instead?”

That sounded strangely more appealing than anything else. So you agreed and decided to hell with everything.

——

“Jungkook, c’mon. Let’s go.”

The latter groaned, eyes still shut as he leaned against one of Yoona’s million-dollar leather couches. Your friend could say bye bye to her lovely flat value if Jungkook decided to empty the insides of his stomach all over this place.

So you tugged at his arm again, and again, and again, until his eyes managed to peel open.

“Y/N?” His voice was slurred and there was no doubt that he’d been drinking a little too much. Especially for Jungkook.

It was almost adorable. Almost being the key word.

“Come on,” you reached down, tugging at his arm to pull him up as Sara came over with a glass of water.

“Here,” she gave it to Jungkook, who merely shook his head and pushed it away, “don’t wanna,” he grumbled, stumbling towards you in the process.

He was a tall man, and not a lean one at that. It was a challenge to balance him as he threw his entire bodyweight onto you like you were his only source of strength. You noticed, in the corner of your eye, the rest of the party being ushered out by Yoona.

You looked back at Jungkook struggling to stay on his feet, nudged at him to take the drink, “drink it,” you said it like an order, to which he shook his head.

“Drink. It.” You repeated firmly.

“No,” he moaned and did the most surprising thing; buried his face into the crook of your neck. He murmured out like a child, “don’t want to.”

Your body was frozen, unsure what to do with this now clingy man-child hanging off you in front of both his supposed crush (and hopeful girlfriend) and the rest of your friend group.

“Uhm,” you tried to shove him off awkwardly.

No response.

He merely tightened his hold and mumbled some more incoherent things under his breath, “Jungkook, come on. Stop being a baby—“

“You smell good,” his mumble, a brush of his lips against your skin, threw you off guard, caused your heart to go into a mini panic attack.

“Right, uhm— I think we should bring him home. Y/N?” Jimin looked at you pleadingly and you nodded, glad when Changbin took the initiative to call an uber. You didn’t even have time to check whether Sara had been offended by your beat friend’s behaviour since you were all too busy trying to drag the latter’s weight down the stairs.

Thank god for Changbin and Jimin’s help, who even paid the driver in advance as you climbed in and muttered out Jungkook’s flat address. The said young man, currently sprawled across the backseat, seemed to have fallen into a fitful sleep which you hoped wouldn’t last. You needed to get him to his bed, after all. Or at least beyond his front door.

You’d never actually gone into Jungkook’s flat before, so this was a first. He was thankfully awake enough to allow himself to be dragged up the stairs upon arrival, encouraged by your hand wrapped around his waist while his was draped over your neck.

“Jungkook,” you called out to him upon reaching his front door, breathless and sweaty, with your hair sticking to the sides of your face, “key.”

He mumbled, head lolling into the curve of your neck once more. You nudged him, so that he could repeat, “back pocket.”

You fished it out none too gently, careful not to touch anything else and glad he wasn’t sober to see the blush on your face as you managed to unlock his front door.

His flat, you found, was bare without anything too personal. You struggled to turn on the lights in the corner wall, only to be met with white washed walls and white furniture to match, a few black details highlighting the space. A couch sat in the left corner, its cream overlay torn at the edges, and on the right was a tiny kitchenette with an assortment of sauces lined up so neatly you wouldn’t be surprised if Jungkook had measured it out with a ruler.

But this was not the time to think of that. You had a drunk man on your hands, one that seemed overly fond to cuddle you to death.

You managed to find his bedroom — not a hard feat, considering that it was the only door available at the end of the room — and pulled Jungkook along until you practically hauled his body onto his bed.

He curled into his blanket, as though he knew he was now surrounded by comfort, and the sight was surprisingly so tender that it made your heart skip a beat.

You managed to get him some water and was glad when he moved closer to you as you called out his name. Using one hand to tilt his head back, you held the cup to his lips and watches as he took in a few sips.

“Good,” you noted, taking the cup away when he turned his head. You set the cup aside and took a seat at the end of his mattress, “how are you feeling?”

“Like…” he drawled out the words, still influenced by the alcohol, clearly, “—shit.”

“Yeah,” you grimaced, placing two tylenols that you had found digging into his shelves a few moments ago onto his nightstand, “take two of these when you wake up tomorrow.”

“Mm, yeah.”

“Since when do you drink so much?”

Jungkook’s eyes fluttered open then, only to meet yours, “I think I went overboard.”

“No shit sherlock.”

A guttural groan fell from his mouth. He turned, fingers clasping your wrist before tugging you to the bed. You stumbled and almost fell smack onto Jungkook’s chest, eyes widening at the reduced proximity as his other arm wrapped around your waist to pull you even closer.

Your skin lit on fire, “J—Jungkook,” you breathed, unsure of how you got into this position, “what—what are you doing?”

But Jungkook seemed to be lost in his own world. He didn’t answer you in favour of nuzzling into the crook of your neck and throwing a leg over your frame like you were his favourite teddy bear. Your heart almost gave out at the lack of proximity, wishing that you could just roll away without him noticing, but his grip was hard as iron and even as you tried to push his chest away, there was a soft murmur of protest brushing againt your cheek.

“Don’t.”

And then, as though he needed to insist upon this point, he added, “please.”

That was when you felt it. The softest pressure of lips. Against your nape.

You stifled a gasp. Your body tensed beneath his.

You wished your body wasn’t as receptive, wished that you didn’t melt so easily in his hold as euphoria exploded behind your lids.

“Jungkook,” you were breathless as you felt another kiss, “Jungkook, And another. One on your collarbone. One under your jaw, every dot of warmth from his mouth causing fireworks to explode and your skin to warm like you were suddenly thrust right into a campfire.

This was too much. He was too much.

Your hands tightened into fists on instinct, heart leaping to your throat.

He kept on kissing you. Over and over again. All over your skin, as if all the limits suddenly didn’t exist in the cracks of your friendship. His mouth was everywhere; your jaw, your cheek, and now landing right at the corner of your mouth.

That was the moment his eyes fluttered open, meeting your wide ones. His gaze was drugged and hazy, but there was something else swirling there, something you couldn’t place your finger on. And the more you gazed at him, the closer he seemed to get to you until his nose brushed yours tenderly.

Were you going to allow yourself this little bite of heaven? Were you really going to break all the rules just for a few seconds of ecstasy to know how it felt like to kiss Jungkook?

Your sweet, sweet friend that seemed to have stolen your heart and kept it for himself. Your sweet, sweet friend Jungkook, who was looking at you like you were the only star in his sky.

You swallowed thickly, heart clenching at the thought that this would change things forever. You would not be able to get out of this room unscathed and you had to admit the thought scared you. And what about Jungkook? Was he sober enough to understand what he was doing?

“Y/N.”

Your eyes snapped up to his, heart skipping a beat at the dark intensity of his jet black eyes.

You felt a hand trickle along your hip. He squeezed softly, tugged you closer, before his other hand trailed up to grasp the side of your face.

“Jungkook, how drunk on you? On a scale of one to ten,” the words rushed out of you in hopes of breaking the sudden tension that had taken over the room.

He took a ragged breath, “a five.”

“Right. So—uhm, I’ll just go find a water bottle to place by your bed—“

He didn’t give you time. His arm pulled you at the same time that he dove forward before he pressed his lips to yours.

Jungkook kissed you. And you knew that everything was going to change.

NEXT PART

———-

[episims]

Do you ever see lucid dreams?

Well... @themeasureofasim and @persimmonsimmer lured me to post something about Foxfire. Yes I'm cowardly blaming them.

I wrote this short story recently, mostly because I miss my sims, some to practice writing in English, and a bit because I just sometimes need to write.

No pictures, only prose. Warnings: poor grammar and lacking vocabulary.

Felix knew it was a dream. He had seen it many times before.

But as he stood here on the shore, the moist night breeze wiping his face as he watched the pale shine of the moon disorienting on the lake’s uneven surface, it was too easy to forget that it wasn’t real.

At another time, he had licked the salt off his lips after diving into that chill water and shrieked at how the hot, coarse sand tingled his back as he threw himself on it. He had scratched his hands trying to prove to Sara he could climb a palm tree and helped Hugo build sand fortresses with moats at the waterfront.

Felix sighed – did he sigh in his sleep? – but the dream wasn’t going to end by doing so. Surrendering to the part he was playing in it, Felix turned his back to the lake.

As he had expected, Dari stood on the shore, just out of Felix’s reach. They had played here as children and hung out by the lake as teenagers, but this version of Dari was a grown-up man, with a stronger jaw and wider shoulders than Felix remembered him to have. His posture was relaxed, with his arms resting on his sides, and the moonlight painted his figure with a silver tint, dimming the redness of his hair and the warm tone of his sepia skin.

He should be transformed at this hour, Felix reminded himself, battling the dream logic. But Dari remained in his daytime form, only his yellow eyes that glowed in the dusk hinting about the duality of his existence. 

Dari smiled at him. It was a rare expression for the grumpy werewolf and Felix would have blamed it on the dream too if he hadn’t seen that smile before. It was a soft, shy smile accompanied by unusual tenderness in Dari’s eyes; Felix was fairly sure it only occurred when Dari didn’t realize he was smiling.

It was probably only in a dream Felix could ever see that smile again.

He didn’t dare to move and neither did Dari. But what meaning did place and distance have in a dream, anyway? The sand stretched under their feet and the night air pushed them closer, gently but surely, until their noses nearly touched and the warmth radiating from Dari’s body tensed Felix’s senses.

“I missed you,” Felix mumbled, studying the details of Dari’s face. It was all too familiar, his strong eyebrows above deep-set eyes, prominent nose with a perfectly round tip, and full lower lip with a little bite mark at the other side.

“You just say.” Dari’s yellow eyes glinted as he rolled them but his tone was amicable, and he placed his hands on Felix’s shoulders as he spoke.

Felix pressed his forehead against Dari’s and felt the soft touch of Dari’s fingers on his neck. He inhaled slowly, he wasn’t sure if he really needed to breathe in a dream but he wasn’t trying to fill his lungs. The scent was just how he remembered it: a mix of antiperspirant and musk and morning dew and little nuances he didn’t have words for but all of which he had memorized.

He wished he could have frozen the dream at that moment, wished it so badly that it hurt. But, as it was doomed to go, Dari abruptly slipped away from his arms.

A twisted, hollow feeling spread within him as Felix raised his gaze. Dari was standing further away again, now fully transformed, the smooth red fur covering his arms and framing his face. It was only natural to see him appear as he should during nights, but the tenderness in Dari’s eyes was long gone.

“What are you doing?!” Dari snarled. As he spoke, his upper lip raised, revealing his canine tooth.

“You were the one who started it!” Felix insisted on the urge, even though he doubted his own words. It was all the dream’s fault, forcing them to go through this stupid misunderstanding, but somehow, Felix wasn’t able to say that. He never was.

The snarl evolved into a low growl deep down Dari’s throat. He pulled his shoulders back and lowered his stance, bending his fingers. The sharp, black nails he had in his night form gleamed in the moonlight; a perfect weapon to slash Felix’s throat open.

“You fucking imagined it.”

He’s going to attack, Felix knew intuitively and the terror of the thought covered him in a cold sweat that reeked fear. He squeezed his hands into fists, he had recently broken his pull-up record but was muscle power enough to fight a werewolf? He didn’t want to hurt Dari, either.

With his limbs feeling heavy, Felix closed his eyes, preparing for the inevitable. Was this how the dream was supposed to end? He couldn’t remember.

“Felix?”

The silky voice calling him wasn’t Dari’s. Felix opened his eyes and instead of the furious werewolf, he saw Shay standing where Dari had been just seconds ago. Felix didn’t know why but the witch had a golden aura around him, making Shay’s curly hair and dark skin race the moon like a mirage of the sun. 

“Are you alright?” Shay asked with a hint of worry, his blue eyes locked on Felix. 

“Yeah… I think so.” Irrationally, now that Dari wasn’t here, Felix wished that he was. Nevertheless, Shay’s presence was comforting. His arrival had changed how the shore smelled; it had fresh herbs and incense and something that reminded Felix of thunderstorms. 

It was a pleasant scent. Shay looked stunning too, he always did. “It’s good to see you.”

Shay must have heard him but his expression was impermeable, and he didn’t answer or move. The lack of response made Felix uneasy; he wanted to touch Shay, grab the man’s hand, or caress his cheek, whatever to make him react.

But as Felix was about to do that, he realized he couldn’t move forward. By some quirk of the dream, there was an invisible barrier between them, and the harder Felix tried to push against it, the further away Shay appeared to stand.

Shay quietly followed Felix’s vain efforts to reach him but there was sadness in his eyes. His golden aura was diminishing, and along with it, Shay seemed to be fading away too.

“Can’t you cast a spell or something?” Felix groaned to Shay out of frustration. The details of the dream were becoming harder and harder to focus on.

Seeming discouraged, Shay shrugged and averted Felix’s gaze. “You should wake up.”

---------

Felix snapped awake, gasping for air. The soft surface he was lying on was disgustingly cold and wet and smelled stingy.

Sweat.

It was almost pitch dark. Felix turned his head and squinted his eyes; unanimated figures with wide bodies and sharp corners towered around him, as they had been watching his restless dreaming. He didn’t recognize them, or the room he was in.

The cold sweat was pushing to Felix’s skin again and his heart raced inside his chest. He tried to stop the panic from taking over, counting to four as he breathed in. He had been on the shore – no, that was a dream. This is my new room. We moved in with Sara just yesterday. 

Of course. The weird figures were cardboard boxes still waiting to be unpacked.

Felix sighed and shook away the remnants of sleep. The blanket tangled with his legs was just as sweaty as the rest of the bed, so he kicked it away and pushed himself to sit. He leaned his forehead to his knees and pressed his temples with his thumbs, rubbing the damp skin.

If I don’t think about it, I’ll forget faster. 

He hoped he hadn’t made noise in his sleep; Sara’s room was right next to his, and they didn’t have experience yet on how good the sound insulation was. Hugo had never mentioned Felix talking in his sleep when they shared the room but then, Hugo wouldn’t probably wake up to a car crash under his window. 

Felix needed a shower no matter what but reached for his phone on the night table anyway. The screen illuminated with a faint light as he raised it and the text on the screen announced it was 4:17 AM. He stared at it painfully aware that the shower was only going to wake him up more. 

He wasn’t even sure if he had another set of sheets packed somewhere. The plan had been to buy new ones eventually. 

With his muscle memory working faster than his hazy brain could keep up with, Felix opened the phone’s lock screen and tapped the messaging app open. At the topmost were chats with Sara and Hugo, right after them was the team’s group chat, then the private one with the team’s manager, then Paige… he swiped up to see older chats.

The one with Dari had a blank icon. Felix knew by now it meant Dari still hadn’t unblocked him.

Felix dropped the phone back on the night table and swung himself up from bed. Since he was awake and stinking, instead of hitting the shower right away he could go on a morning run just the same.

[libra-cant-just-dance]

Headcanons/Thoughts for Every Main Five Just Dance ship

Obviously I have my favorite but sometimes it’s fun to just think about other ships so I wanted to make a post about ALL of them. For some reason. PS don’t reblog/reply to this with “well actually that one ship sucks and I don’t like it”. As far as we know all of them are the same age and not related so there’s really no reason why any ship is wrong, let people like what they like.

Wanderlust x Jack: I don’t need to rant about them, you all already know. Go read my fanfiction

Wanderlust x Sara: He brings her into this magical world, she loves it and she loves him. It’s a bit cliche but cliches are cliches because they WORK. Also, we know Sara loves the Danceverses, but what if Wanderlust loves Earth? What if he’s got a Little Mermaid thing going on? Imagine Sara showing him around Earth and him being excited by the silliest little things

Wanderlust x Brezziana: They’re both the most energetic ones of the group. Imagine them teaming up on adventures and charging ahead together when the others get tired. Neither of them can always find a friend to keep up with them, but they always have each other

Wanderlust x Mihaly: They’re kind of like two different sides of the Flow? Wander is more energetic and Mihaly’s more chill, so I think they’d balance each other out well. Mihaly gets Wander to slow down every once in a while and appreciate things he’d otherwise miss. Wanderlust shows them how to be more spontaneous and free

Jack x Sara: Sara falls for the bad boy except he’s not actually bad. So much in the Danceverses is bright and crazy and overwhelming, so Jack being more down-to-earth is refreshing for her. Jack loves the way she treats him. Aside from the events of story mode, she doesn’t have the background on Night Swan and Eternyx that the others do, so she doesn’t know his reputation as well. He feels like she really sees him as his own person while everyone else will always remember his mother’s shadow

Jack x Mihaly: I think both of them being the more practical ones of the group could mesh well. We also know Mihaly used to idolize Night Swan in some way, so they both can relate to having wanted to live up to her legacy and now realizing she was wrong. Jack is also always expecting some sort of punishment or consequence if he does something wrong, but Mihaly is so chill about everything that they make him feel like everything’s okay

Jack x Brezziana: Brezziana will drag Jack out of the house to go do stuff when he’s stuck moping around. Theyre SO opposites attract. She’s also ready to stand up for him whenever necessary. Jack will just turn the other cheek to insults and pretend nothing bothers him, but Brezziana won’t let him bottle things up

Sara x Mihaly: Another case of chill vs energetic balancing each other out. I think Mihaly brings Sara to meet Master Panda and he really likes her. What if they try training together to see if Sara is gifted with the Flow like people from the Danceverses are? Again, I feel like Mihaly is also a grounding presence for her amongst the chaos of the Danceverses.

Sara x Brezziana: They go on mall dates a lot! Cute dates where they pick out outfits for each other and try them on. They’re very giggly. They post very cutesy Instagram posts about each other all the time. Connected at the hip when the gang goes out places.

Mihaly x Brezziana: This one’s popular. Again it’s energetic vs chill. Mihaly will often open their home to fourteen texts from Brezziana about something crazy she just did and Mihaly just shakes their head and smiles.

[missgavi]

can you a gavi x reader where they “ meet “ at a party and fall in love drunk and exchange numbers and that but once they were sober the next day realized who they were talking to over the phone ? if that makes sense :)

yes yes yes yeeeees

pulling away from the kiss for some air, with a look of daze you smile up at the boy who just had his lips against your. he smiles back, one of his hands reaching out to caress your cheek. 

just as you’re about to dive back in, one of the friends you came with runs over to the two of you. “y/n honey, so sorry to interrupt you and your ... friend” she says with a cheeky smile towards you “but Sara’s missing, we can’t find her anywhere around the club and we need your help to find her and take her home. Again, sorry to come in between you two but this is serious” 

she was right, this was serious. you and your friends had a pact, you come together, you leave together. rarely are exceptions made. your friend leaves and you look up at the boy, his hands low on your hips and his lips still bruised from yours. “I’m so so sorry, but I have to help my friend” 

At your apologetic tone, the boy lifts his hand up to your cheek to caress it once again. “hey don’t worry, it’s fine. go help your friend out. here” he reaches out for your phone which you had in your back pocket and opens the phone app. 

He types in some numbers before giving it back to you “text me tomorrow ?” 

You were too caught up in the feeling of his hands still on you and his confident attitude that you can barely get out an “mhm” 

The boy chuckles before leaning down for one final kiss “mhm ?” You meekly nod before saying your goodbyes and go to search for your friend. 

__________________

After some final words of encouragement you man up and dial the guy from last night. You wanted to scream when you realised you didn’t catch his name and the only thing you had in your phone app was “chico guapo del club” cocky right ? 

Two dials later a breezy voice answers “Y/n, wondered when you’d call” he says, confidence radiating in his voice. Laughing to yourself you respond “wish I could greet you but someone neither gave me their name nor did they put it in my phone” you playfully accuse him earning a breathy laugh. 

“How about I take you out ? maybe then I’ll actually give you my name” 

You agree and once the time and place is set you hop in the shower and start getting ready. Once you were all dolled up you lock your door and make your way over to the little cafe you were supposed to meet him at. 

Arriving there first, you sit down and just as you were about to text him you got there you spotted Pablo Gavi somewhere far way from the cafe you were at, walking in that direction. 

Instead of texting, you pull your eyes away from the footballer and call your date. “Quick question , are you FC Barcelone fan ?” you ask, trying not to look at Gavi.

A beat passes before he replies “Let’s say so, why ?” 

“Okay, don’t freak out but Pablo Gavi is in the same area as our cafe so I suggest you get here as fast as possible” 

Too busy with the man on the other line, you don’t even register the person standing next to you. it isn’t until you hear the same voice both in the speaker and next to you. “You don’t say” 

Looking up , you see the Pablo Gavi standing next to you, a cocky smirk plastered on his face. Hanging up the phone, you look up at him and what’s the first thing that you say ?

“Oh fuck you” 

Your response caught Gavi off guard and made him laugh “Fuck me ? Why ? I mean, I get why, you’ll get to do that later but why ?” 

Standing up, you playfully nudge him “How dare you not tell me you are the Pablo Gavi ?” you ask, a teasing smile on your lips.

Pablo smiles as well, leaning down to kiss your cheek before sitting down across you and waving the waiter over. After ordering , he turns to you “I did tell you, last night” You stare confused at him “Oh , you mean you don’t remember when i told you I play for Barca and you very confidently stated you could ,in your words, wipe the field with me ?” he repeats your words from last night, amusement evident in his voice. 

Blushing, you shy away “hey, In my defence i was drunk okay ? now stop making fun of me” 

“ why would I ? you’re cute when you blush” he says , another smirk planted on his lips before taking a sip on his drink. 

“I hate you” you mutter, a huge smile still visible on your lips. 

“no you don’t” 

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

Look at this....☠️ https://www.tumblr.com/bohemian-nights/737003196544958464/fuck-rhaenyra-fuck-the-writers-with-this-sapphic?source=share

Fucking hell.

First off: I find it interesting the anon doesn't acknowledge that Laena x Daemon is also incest. Sure, she's not his niece, but she is still related to him. They love projecting their insecurities about their ship onto daemyra.

Second: yeah, HoTD choosing to make the Velaryons black then sidelining them massively is shitty and, sure, could be interpreted as racist. However, how is that Rhaenyra's fault? She didn't make Daemon marry Laena when he couldn't have her neither did she kill Laena. Condal and Hess chose to write out Laena's relevance (which already wasn't much outside of being Daemon's wife and Baela and Rhaena's mother) in order to give Alicent more screen time. But again, that's neith Rhaenyra's nor Emma D'Arcy's fault, stop blaming them (also Emma is good at playing Rhaenyra as she is written, the only issues are the writing, which aren't their fault). Op also chose to ignore the fact that Daemon actually is confirmed by GRRM himself to have loved Rhaenyra the most.

Moving on, once again the Rhaenyra antis are bringing up how Rhaenyra isn't "feminist". Literally no one in F&B is feminist by our modern definition. Visenya and Rhaenys are probably the closest, and even then, they aren't writing feminist manifestos (which apparently Rhaenyra is expected to for some reason). Alysanne, the most proactive queen regent, still enforced arranged marriages on her daughters and granddaughters. Rhaenys didn't advocate for Laena's right of succession in the book and in the show refused to support Rhaenyra long before Laenor's "death". Her antis hold Rhaenyra to unfair and unrealistic standards while making excuses for or ignoring other characters who don't meet them.

In that same vein, I still can't get over how Rhaenyra antis will say that TG aren't the conservative group. They say Rhaenyra isn't a feminist and that TG, the ones who are obsessed with male primogeniture and believe being gay, a sexually liberated woman, a child born out of wedlock, or not adhering to the equivalent of the Catholic Church make someone subhuman are the "progressive" group. It's delusion at its finest. Alicent and the greens are misogynistic and, because of them, women's rights in Westeros ended up more repressed than ever.

The fact that the op says that Visenya and Queen Rhaena are acceptable shows they have no understanding for TG or F&B. First off, TG would never support either woman. Visenya was hated by the Faith and most of the Lord's of Westeros, she was a warrior accused of witchcraft and dared to interfere with the misogynistic customs alongside Rhaenys. Rhaena was gay, something she wasn't allowed to live fully because the Targaryens chose to conform to Westerosi ideals. She was also robbed of her inheritance, even Jaehaerys acknowledged that Rhaena was the rightful heir, just as Aegon acknowledged Rhaenyra was.

As for the racist allegations, those come exclusively from Mushroom, someone who is far from a reliable source. Mushroom invented an entire woman to try to add "spice" to Jacaerys' story: Sara Snow. A woman of whom there is no record of, even though she was raised in Winterfell and supposedly married Jace. If Mushroom is willing to make up a whole ass woman to make the story more dramatic, why should we trust anything he says?

Yes, Rhaenyra ordered Nettles' execution, but that was because of her rumored relationship with Daemon and Rhaenyra's paranoia which had grown massively since Hugh Hammer and Ulf White's betrayal. Was it just? No. Was it racially motivated? According to Mushroom, maybe, but looking at Rhaenyra's character, it doesn't make sense.

Moving on, what exactly does op mean by "she's done too many things to claim she's been wrongly framed by the narrative"? By the time Nettles comes along, Rhaenyra hasn't done much that could be considered reprehensible. Op seems to have an issue with Vaemond's death, which Rhaenyra did order in the book. They seem to think that Vaemond "rightfully called her out" and was wrongfully killed.

She ordered Vaemond's execution after he declared her sons bastards in order to challenge Corlys' decision regarding succession. Keep in mind, Vaemond in the book is Corlys' nephew, not his brother, which moves him even farther down the line of succession. Vaemond not only was putting Rhaenyra and her sons in danger but was also trying to usurp all of Corlys' line, including Baela and Rhaena, who op seems to like a lot.

Yeah Rhaenyra is much harsher in F&B, but that hardly makes her evil and irredeemable. Queens Visenya and Rhaena were both harsh and even cruel sometimes, yet op doesn't think they're irredeemable monsters.

I do agree with op's anger over the sidelining of the Velaryons, as I said earlier, but taking it out on Rhaenyra is completely uncalled for. Rhaenyra wasn't a monster, anyone who believes that has frighteningly little reading comprehension. Rhaenyra's reign would have greatly helped women's standings in Westeros and pushed along gender equality. Ignoring that fact and blatantly saying the greens aren't supporting the repressive patriarchy is delusional and idiotic. The greens' actions were damaging in every way. Vaemond was far from an innocent victim, he was power hungry and misogynistic in both the show and the book. Keep your angry focused on the right people, don't take it out on a woman who had her whole life destroyed by the patriarchy.