#then I realized that Zoraxis might have figured out a deserter was there and that fixed a bunch of potential plot holes

[ellascreams]

Don’t Blow Up On Me

[You know what, Zor hacking into your radio signal and saying ominous threats at you during a high stakes mission is usually pretty scary. But when the person currently acting as your handler is a very low ranking ex-employee of theirs, it’s only a little creepy, and really more awkward than anything. Phoenix is just trying to diffuse a bomb. This fic does have some serious moments so don’t expect pure silliness.]

Phoenix mostly worked in their own little office these days. They didn’t have much of a reason to stay at any headquarters building. Still, they had to go to one sometimes, and this was the first time in a while they were really really glad they did.

They were still processing what had happened as they ran. It was all so fast. It started with filling out a survey about how well Ollie had acted as their handler while Reginald was sick. Ok, that made sense. That’s why they were there in the first place. To fill out all the required paperwork before Reginald came back to work tomorrow.

Then the alarm came with its flashing red lights, blaring sirens, and a repeating announcement of what was wrong. It started as just “SECURITY BREACH” and then suddenly became “BOMB THREAT.” Neither of those were good. They grabbed their earpiece and nodded at Ollie to show they were ready to help. Ollie quickly conversed with some other handlers. He turned to them and said “The other agents are going to take care of evacuation and look for any hidden traps or Zoraxis operatives. That leaves bomb duty to us!” He looked at the security report which had managed to calculate the general area the bomb was in. Then he looked at some old Zoraxis bomb models and used them to narrow down its location. “If my instincts are correct, it should be in the breaker room down in the basement.” Phoenix didn’t wait to be told to leave before they started running.

From the start of the alarm to the present, only a minute had passed. This whole situation was bad. Usually they would be upset to suddenly be in a situation like this, and they were, but they were still glad they came to the office when they did. If they weren’t there the bomb would probably still have been planted. They trusted the other agents to be capable of disarming a bomb, but they weren’t sure if they trusted the other agents enough to want them disarming a bomb when Ollie’s life was on the line. They wanted to be the one protecting him from this threat.

They got to the breaker room and the bomb was just… sitting there. On the floor. They were expecting it to be hidden amongst the electrical equipment or at least mounted to a wall somewhere. If they couldn’t disarm it they could probably just pick it up and move it away from the building. Hm, maybe not. It was a big bomb, almost the size of a suitcase, and it very well might explode before they could get it far enough away.

They took a crouched down and looked at it closer. They could hear it ticking but there was no visible timer. They didn’t know how much time they had.

“Agent Phoenix,” said a familiar voice in their ear, but it wasn’t Ollie’s voice or even Reginald’s. “I wasn’t expecting you. That was my mistake. You seem to have a knack for appearing at every mission I have a personal interest in.” Phoenix felt their heart beat faster. No matter how many times they heard Zor talk they couldn’t get used to it. Something about their smug tone, their unwavering conviction that they were in control, and that uncanny voice changer just made their skin crawl.

“I suppose you’ll be attempting to disarm my bomb then. Go right ahead. Convenient how we left it right there, on the ground, in plain sight. It’s almost too good to be true.” The agent instinctively looked up from the bomb and started scanning the room for hidden ones. They shouldn’t listen to Zor but they just said, or at least implied, what they were already thinking. Zor giggled ever so slightly.

“I think it’s best you don’t listen to them.” Phoenix was very relived to hear Ollie’s voice again. “If they think you’re smart enough to catch their usual tricks, they just make things simple and hope you’ll overthink it. And while I may not be familiar with this specific model, I’ve seen bombs like it, and that ticking sound is hard to replicate. It’s a real bomb, and the only bomb here.”

“Oh?” Huh. Phoenix didn’t know you could convey raising one eyebrow through nothing but the tone of your voice. “This isn’t your usual handler. How rude of you to not introduce us,” they said, as if Phoenix would ever want to give them information on other agents or was capable of saying the words needed for introductions. Ollie and Phoenix tried to ignore them.

“You’re going to have to get through the metal casing. It doesn’t have any screws, and cutting or melting through it risks the bomb going off.” Ollie paused thoughtfully. “If you could find something thin enough and strong enough to wedge between the gaps maybe you could pry it open?” Far easier said than done but Phoenix started searching the room nonetheless.

“Or maybe there’s no need to introduce us. He sounds awfully familiar… Ollie, was it?” Phoenix inhaled sharply. It was easy to forget he had actually talked to the doctor when he was such a low ranking employee. They even remembered his name. Eh, that wasn’t too surprising. You sort of need a good memory to be an evil genius like Zor.

Phoenix rummaged through a tool box that had been abandoned in a corner. “I didn’t expect to see you working for The Agency. It may be a bit cliche of me to say but, truthfully, I expected you to be dead by now. I’ll admit that I’m impressed.” Phoenix glanced at the screwdriver several times before an idea struck them. There weren’t any screws on the bomb, but the tip of the screwdriver was thin and flat. Not bad for prying things open.

They took a knee again. It was hard to get good leverage with the bomb on the floor so they kept it hovering at head height while they started trying to pry it open. Dr. Zor was still trying different angles to engage Ollie in conversation. “Perhaps I’m impressed enough to let bygones be bygones and allow you to work for me again.” That one did the trick.

“As tempting as that offer is I’m afraid I’ll have to decline on account of you trying to kill me.” When the metal finally gave way it was so sudden Phoenix almost fell. They pried the metal just a bit further until they could see the wires inside.

“Great job! Let’s see, it looks like there are 7 different colored wires… for Zoraxis bombs like that you just have to cut them in reverse rainbow order.” A bit weird, but ok. Phoenix got pliers from the tool box and began carefully cutting. The violet wire snapped in two.

“Whatever do you mean?” Zor continued as if their conversation hadn’t been interrupted by the engineering of their explosives being explained to an enemy. Phoenix cut the indigo wire. “Well, I wanted to excuse the whole leaving me at bottom of the ocean thing, you very well might’ve just forgotten and mistakes happen, but that escape pod was definitely a death trap. I was trying to keep track of all the OSHA violations but I lost count because of oxygen deprivation.”

“It was nothing personal, I assure you.” Blue wire. “That really doesn’t make it any better. Why did you even want me dead anyway?” Because you knew about the experiments, Phoenix thought. They were probably hoping you had just enough food to guard the place until Prism was dead. Then you’d starve so you couldn’t tell anyone about KBOOM. Ollie was very smart but sometimes it seemed like he was too kind to actually understand evil. Green wire.

“Even without the murder attempt a lot of the working conditions were just… bad. For all the issues The Agency has, they still try to prioritize the health of their employees. It’s hard in this line of work, but— Oh, Phoenix! Wait!” The agent froze. The blades of their open pliers surrounded the next wire perfectly still, like it was waiting for their orders to attack. “I know that wire looks like a somewhat orangey yellow, but according to Zoraxis manufacturers, that’s actually just orange. The yellow one is brighter than that.” Phoenix quickly, but even more carefully than before, pulled their pliers away. While they were still too dizzy from adrenaline to understand anyone’s words, they were vaguely aware that Ollie had returned to his previous point. How on earth did he not lose his train of thought from almost exploding?

They broke free from their haze when Zor said “I see. What if I gave you a promotion? I could even make you one of my highest ranking operatives. You’d be paid far better and you’d have my protection.”

“I WAS DIRECTLY INVOLVED IN YOU BETRAYING PRISM!”

Phoenix began tuning them both out after that. It was very weird listening to them argue. It reminded them of being a kid at a friend’s house and awkwardly standing there as their friend argued with their parents. And while Ollie never actually gave anything away, it still made Phoenix cringe whenever he almost mentioned Agency secrets in his frustration.

They still payed a little attention to the fight. It really said a lot about Ollie’s skill as a handler that despite the high stakes of their missions this was the least collected they had ever seen or heard him. Zor slowly sounded more annoyed as they realized just how many of their secrets he’d shared and just how much they’d underestimated him. It was somewhat satisfying to hear some of Zor’s smug tone dissipate.

They only listened fully when Ollie said “Phoenix” or “agent.” They still needed his instructions for the next few steps. Plus, if they’d missed their name being called earlier, well, they wouldn’t still be in this strange situation. Their strategy worked pretty well. The only time it backfired is when Ollie started talking about how kind they were to him and how he was sure they’d agree his old conditions were fair. As nice as it was they wished that they could say please just leave me out of this.

After what was probably a few minutes though it felt far longer, the bomb was finally defused, and at the same time so was the argument. It seemed Ollie had run out of things to say and Zor was finally done provoking him. Phoenix could hear interference from Zor’s radio abruptly halt as they left without a word. They weren’t sure when they stood up in all the chaos but apparently they had, because the second there was quiet, the gravity of what happened finally hit them and pulled them down to their knees.

Oh no. They almost died, didn’t they? That wasn’t anything new but it was still always a little worrying. Ollie almost dying with them was new and definitely not something they liked. But what was really sinking in was what the argument with Zor actually implied. They were very secretive and would not like an old employee of their’s alive. Especially not if they were working for The Agency and especially if he was far more clever than they originally thought he was.

Come to think of it… why did they target this building? Zoraxis as an organization would probably attack any Agency HQ they discovered but didn’t Zor say something about having a “personal interest” in this particular attack? It seemed like they genuinely weren’t expecting Phoenix so they weren’t the target. Zor knew a deserter was here. Phoenix didn’t know how but they were sure of it. Again, Zor’s struggle to recognize Ollie did seem very real, so they probably didn’t know who their ex-employee was. They know now though. Zor even successfully started an argument to get more information about him although it got a little out of hand.

This location would be abandoned now that it was compromised. Even so, Phoenix decided that as soon as they got in contact with Reginald they would tell him to get Ollie a private and well hidden office like their’s. Handler was a job with a lot of official paperwork and a lot of it had to be filled out at headquarters, but even frequent trips to one would be better than staying there all the time.

Phoenix was willing to bet Ollie didn’t realize how much danger he was in so right now it was up to everyone else to keep him safe. He helped a lot of people in this Agency. The Agency could spare a few recourses to help him. If they didn’t, then they would get a proper demonstration of just how terrifying their top agent can be. Reginald always said they were intimidating. Something about stoic silence.