#then I just forgot until now lmao
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quins-makeshift-menagerie · 1 month ago
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Im curious about how pokeballs work in your world building!
Things like:
•Can only humans use pokeballs?
•Do the pokeballs register info too or only store the pokemon?
•Whats on the inside of pokeballs in your world? Both tech wise and what the pokemon experiences?
Theres more I could ask but ill leave it at that. Love your characters and story so far!
-🍀
What a FASCINATING question ⭐️ 0 ⭐️
Humans and Pokemon can use pokeballs. Use being a loose term here, which I’ll elaborate on next. Most wild pokemon probably don’t have a positive view enough to want to though
They do both! It’s how Joyce can monitor Fuji when he’s alway. I haven’t worked out how it keeps tract of this information honestly. Maybe something like how we chip animals? Like a harmless lil thing that sends vital info to the registered trainer, and keeps a code for which pokeball the pokemon is registered to, which is why other balls wouldn’t work on a caught pokemon. Unless their ball is destroyed or they’re officially released, then I imagine the information is deleted 🤔 The chip would still probably stay active but be in a sort of dormant state. Could be removed I’m sure but like I said it’d be harmless. That being said one would have to be registered to properly use a pokeball but I imagine the vast majority of people are, even in cases where the pokemon aren’t for battle and are just companions. I imagine this registration probably isn’t official until the newly caught Pokémon’s first visit to the center so there would be a brief period of them being in “limbo” where while they have a ball they aren’t registered to the trainer just yet and can still be caught by another. A small fault in the system that pouches are thieves probably take advantage of when it comes to new trainers
Further elaboration on the first point! This means Pokémon wouldn’t be able to use a ball to its full capacity that isn’t already registered to a specific Pokemon. A wild Pokemon could play with a lost ball and accidentally get “caught” but assuming they can get out they can walk away with no real consequence aside from probably being a bit frazzled.
Zeus briefly touched on what it’s like, describing it similarly to being within the system. I’m currently unsure when it comes to tech wise but I’ll do my best to elaborate further on what Zeus meant. While I imagine a Pokemon inside a ball is most likely at least partially comatose, they’d also experience a lucid dream of sorts. They’re aware it’s a dream, but most don’t really have a reason to fight it considering at some point or another they begin to view a pokeball as their “room” in a way. It’s a safe space. Not saying there aren’t cases of Pokemon busting out, we’ve seen that loads of times, but I imagine those are specific conditions. I imagine this is a huge problem with psychic type trainers, but it’s also pretty common with a Pokemon that doesn’t see their trainer as “worthy”(think in game when higher level Pokemon won’t listen if you don’t have a certain number badges), Pokemon of various strong temperaments, or Pokemon that are in pokeballs that aren’t strong enough to contain them(yeah you can brag about catching that legendary in a standard Pokeball but if it didn’t enter willingly you’re gonna have a problem for the rest of your time having it)
Aaaaah apologies if I rambled and went off track, but I hope I answered your questions ^^;;;
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upsidedownsmore · 14 days ago
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:D
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kesbeacon · 21 days ago
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It's the season for remaking, apparently. I made a black beanie with a subtle knit-purl pattern a couple of years ago, the first thing I knit after a few years of not knitting anything. I didn't wear it much, though, because it wasn't long enough and the yarn was a bit scratchy.
However, it's been freezing in the house lately, so I have been wearing it of an evening and became motivated to fix both of these issues. So I frogged back part way and inserted some stripes of a different colourway of the same yarn:
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And then I decided to put in a lining. And not just any lining - a luxe lining that would also help protect my hair. So, dear reader, I lined it in silk jacquard. Specifically one tie's worth of silk. Specifically £1's worth of silk tie, because a local charity shop has a £1 tie bin. I had to do some canny piecing, but look at how economical it ended up!
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Those scraps are literally all that's left of it.
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johnnystorms · 11 months ago
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When Peter was seven, Mrs Kanowski wrote in his report card that he always has something to say. Uncle Ben had found it quite funny. Aunt May had elbowed him in the side and murmured something about it not being a compliment, a word Peter didn’t quite grasp until a year later, when Gwen Stacy socked him in the shoulder then said, “I like your socks.” (They were covered in crossed swords and skulls wearing pirate hats, much to Aunt May’s dismay. Harry thought they were cool, though, and so did Peter, kind of, and now so did Gwen. So there.) “Thanks,” Peter had said, and that had been that. Not his first friend, but one of them.
He doesn’t know why he thinks about that now.
They’re on the roof of the Baxter Building. The sun is setting, spilling red and pink and orange all over Johnny, over his golden hair, the planes of his face, the brightness of his grin. The grin in question: the remnants of laughter, left over from Peter telling him about the time Harry keyed his dad’s car in a fit of six-year-old pique and Peter had tried to take the blame, only for Norman to dismiss the attempt with a brisk you’d have chosen more sensible places to do it, which had made Johnny absolutely howl with laughter.
“Really, Pete,” he says, still grinning, “what kind of six year old gets told they’d commit vandalism sensibly?” He snorts, shaking his head, looking out over the city.
Mrs Kanowski was wrong, it seems. Peter is tongue-tied, watching Johnny’s eyes crinkle in the corners, the slope of his nose as he looks out over towards the Chrysler Building. It swells in him, the way Johnny looks right now, the way he feels, loose-limbed and relaxed and happy. Peter likes Johnny a lot of ways, but this is maybe his favourite, when it’s just the two of them, and Johnny has that smile that looks like it put the stars in the sky, instead of the one he flashes at people in corridors, at the press when they get in too close, at ex-girlfriends and maybe-boyfriends – everyone who wants a piece of him.
It’s a nice smile, don’t get him wrong. Peter is mostly immune to Johnny’s charms, but that one still makes his chest feel a little warmer. It’s just got nothing on Johnny when he’s like this, bright and open and beautiful.
“I wonder what you’d have been like if you’d known me back then,” Johnny says, still not looking at Peter. His voice has gone thoughtful, smile fading until all that’s left is a soft tilt to his lips. “What I’d have been like.” He’s quiet for a second, and then: “I’m a little jealous, you know.”
Peter can’t work the words out of his mouth. His tongue feels too thick. Still, there must be something questioning enough in his gaze when Johnny glances back at him that it gets conveyed, because Johnny blinks, then smiles ruefully.
“That they knew you back then – Harry and Gwen and even Mary Jane, though I know she was a little later. They all got to know you so early… It kinda feels like I was missing out.” The way he says kinda is like an inside joke, the type where you’re the only one in on it, where you’re laughing at yourself. Peter’s heart aches.
Johnny’s smile goes crooked as he looks back at Peter again. “You’re my first real friend, Peter. You know that, right?”
And, like, maybe. Maybe Peter knew that, logically, if he ever really thought about it, but he didn’t – he doesn’t – because Johnny is bright and handsome and funny, charming and charismatic and wildly popular even though he has enough personality defects to fill a dictionary. Everyone likes Johnny, even some of his exes, and the ones who don’t usually have a grudge to pick with his brother-in-law, or they think Johnny is just like any vapid, handsome, rich, famous type. And it’s not that he’s not, but he’s also so much more than that. Sometimes Johnny is so much that Peter doesn’t have words to contain it.
But that’s a lonely thing too.
So maybe Peter knew, on some level, that this is what he is to Johnny, this is the space he occupies. But he’s never really thought it consciously, never really framed it that way, and certainly never heard it out loud before.
He swallows. Hard.
Johnny just blinks again, then grins. It’s not that crooked one, small and quiet and delicate enough to make Peter wish he could fit it in his pocket. It’s a sudden blitz against the sky, against Peter’s fucking mental stability, because it is so gorgeous that it is utterly devastating. Peter is devastated and Johnny is beautiful. Status quo.
Mrs Kanowski was definitely wrong, Peter thinks, as he slides a little closer to Johnny, nestles up against him so that their thighs are pressed close and their shoulders are knocking together. Because when Johnny looks at him like that, he can’t think of a single thing to say.
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notsocharmingmagician · 9 months ago
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Out of all your AU’s, which is your favorite, and do you have character designs for any of them? Please do tell! - 🎭 Drama Anon 🎭
I don't have destinct designs yet for most of my AUs but here are 6 of the ones I do have!! My favorite design so far has to be Dimentio from my L'Dunks AU since he has a bunch of pretty dresses he wears that are inspired by his canon costume.
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crescentfool · 1 year ago
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forever thinking about minato's swag moment (courtesy of @mymp3) <3
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hauntingblue · 2 months ago
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CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER (bark), THRILLER (bark) NIGHT
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Usopp's outfit is so funny for reals
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He got the whole squad laughing
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Luffy enablers at it again.... (Robin.... I know.....)
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The humor panels so far have been so good!!! God this arc is so funny
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HE SAID IT‼️‼️
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They look like birds 😭😭
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It's just too good... luffy taking cerberus and zombies what can't he do
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It's just banger after banger what can I say
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Franky feeling for other people because of his guilt complex and sanji lying through his teeth and pulling out the women excuse to seem unaffected... yeah
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Look at them.... look how they ate
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Omg joyboy reference?? (No)
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Sanji is rubbing off on usopp.... also chopper noticing that is sogeking's weapon akdhaksjak
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ANOTHER SLAY!!!!!
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Their priorities: I'm not strong enough, there isn't enough food, and nami isn't here
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Franky going from wanting to kill brook for his jokes to making a joke like his after he hears his backstory... exactly (Robin was already enabling him before the backstory even fdagjsfha)
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Sanji is altering his body and actually being on fire to communicate to us how fucking mad he is..... I need more of him going insane I do I do
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My god what is he doing ALDJALAJALA
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AHSAHAHQHAH THEY ARE THE SAME!!! naaah sanji wouldn't force a woman to be his wife
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You cant see me but I am nodding my head in agreement over and over
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You don't understand he altered his body to communicate to us how mad he is. He inploded himself and then reconstituted again. Those germa 66 genes are insane
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You tell em usopp!!!! The first of many girls you've scared into defeat!!! Akdjqknql
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Zoro zombie regressed to not trusting robin akdjaks he's still in there
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ROBI-CHO SUPLEX??? HELL YEAAAAAH
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There is zosa- [GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]
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Super frapper gong.... he is doing combo shots with frobin... omg.... parents....
Everything is so fun I'm having such a good time reading.... and then zosan angst like damn I am being fed well here
#in the anime the guys didn't say they wanted to die aldjlajala for the kids luffy just wants to turn into a clam#thriller bark is so funny.... 'worst arc' my ass.... it's funny as hell and then we get zosan angst. best thing ever#same with skypiea but there we got really nice relationships betwen characters and nolan x calgara homoeroticism for the ages#and LORE for the ages. not like the kuma incident won't be talked about in the history books but yeah#everyone calling absalom perv salom... yeah#sanji in that fucking penguin never gets old.... also HELLO LOLA#moira fought against kaido and lost akdjsksnks is that why he became a warlord? just like whitebeard defeated crocodile?? out of spite??#also what is the land of ice where moira got oars? he also mentioned it before too... i thot he was referring to ryuma so it was wano but n#the legend of the continent puller who built a nation of villains.... okay okay oars....#oars was killed 500 years ago.... ✍️✍️ this somehow feels important bc of its closeness to the void century etc#zombie luffy oars wanting sanjis food.... 🚬🚬🚬 of course.....#oars luffy maintaining his dream... yeah yeah. also namis outfits for this arc are so sickening.... i miss them already#the zombie generals being at absalom's wedding... thats so funny..#luffy oars is so funny aldjslsn just making himself a hat and steering his giant ship... of course#you guys think they are going to make sanji mad about the clear clear fruit in the opla or completely ignore it bc his reasoning is bad#like it makes sense with the wci backstory it does but that would be spoilers lmao. so its either he wants to peep on women or nothing#i love the greek chorus of the two zombies telling the audience how they are both as bad in that regard. amazing#did ryuma use french for his attack.... there is zosan everywhere for tho-[GUNSHOTS]#zombie ryuma's design is also cool as hell.... his blood is literally fire.... come on now....#also zoro says he wants to act like this fight didnt happen... is that why he says fuck all in wano to hiyori? damn. he said i put shame#in you and your country but i will keep it quiet bc you gave me a cool sword and fight and i am actually so honorable. thats him yeah...#zombie zoro and sanji remaining tfait being that they hate (love fighting) each other... there is zosa-[GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]#i forgot how much oars destroyed them... after enies lobby they seem untouchable but without their captain there... the gears are turning..#also btw i cannot believe im gonna get an answer about why the skypieans and the shandians have wings. thats insane#i am enjoying luffy oars so much it is so fun. trying to enjoy it bc i know i won't be laughing anymore once sabaody kicks in.... fuck me..#usopp and franky wanting to wait for luffy to beat oars down but zoro and sanji know... and they will KNOW soon enough....#i forgor kuma asked about ace to nami... what is going on. kuma coming from the warlord meeting too.... did he want to warn him??#he wanted to inform moria about balckbeard becoming a warlord omg here we go.... also moria being racist towards kuma hello???#and he strictly follows the government.... until here bc he lets luffy go.... christ.... he asks about ace bc he knew what blackbeard did..#reading one piece
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littlehatmouse · 8 months ago
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i finished this in the last 20 minutes of lesbian visibility week after not drawing at all LETS GO
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pathologising · 1 day ago
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anyway im making hamburgers for dinner with some steamed greens...maybe a garlic butter sauce on top of everything idk i got fresh garlic today so might as well use it!
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james-spooky · 3 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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upsidedownsmore · 1 month ago
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Nearly forgot to post but thank you so much WidescreenJohn for the hella sick QTCC raffle Prisma Angstrum!!! It's so cool!!!
idk how i managed to win a QTCC 3D print raffle two years in a row from two different people but i'm not complaining lmao (shoutout to @dyanasmythe 's pocket ordis!!)
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...i'm gonna need some proper shelves at some point lol
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starheirxero · 1 year ago
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Why did Centclipse (what I call him) give himself that kind of body?
MAN, OKAY SO LIKE. THIS ASK REMINDED ME THAT ACTUALLY MY ORIGINAL IDEA WAS NOT "LORD ECLIPSE IS A CENTIPEDE" IT WAS "LORD ECLIPSE CAN USE THE STAR TO SHAPESHIFT".
I used to be super into UTMV (undertale multiverse) and my favorite thing ever was that Nightmare, from Dreamtale, was able to use the corruption to shift his form into grotesque mimicries of something humanoid and use it to instill fear into people that he can then feed off of. (Example: (body horror cw) this post by mcnotok that I think about a LOAHT.)
Lord Eclipse's treatment of Sun seems very centered around making him suffer in whatever way possible, yea? Sun seems to basically just be a punching bag to him, so, one of my ideas was that Lord Eclipse would shapeshift to specifically scare Sun into submission. To ensure that his fear would keep him rooted under his command.
Sun is afraid of bugs. We know this from several gameplay episodes.
So, what better form to inhabit than one of the most crawly kind of bug there is? :)
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tubbytarchia · 1 year ago
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The Vrains focus and special treatment in Duel Links is probably because, don't forget, they literally played speed duels in Vrains with skills and everything. It was THE Vrains gimmick. I think it really makes sense past the whole virtual world connection
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smoozie · 9 months ago
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...life series ace attorney au?
colour me intrigued.
I've already explained the jist of it here and expanding on some defense/prosecutor duos I enjoy here
I am so excited to talk abt this!! Feel free to ask more questions! I'm using this ask as an excuse to talk abt design ideas regarding the lawyers!
Starting off with Gem, whose design I've already finished!! She has a similar silhouette to Apollo's angsty Dual Destinies design with her (green) jacket over her shoulders because of the shawl(?) In her hc10 skin and witch skin. I gave her a white button up with a yellow tie since a lot of her skins have yellow/gold accents. I also gave her a corset because of the corset for her empires skin (now sure what season, I haven't watched her empires u-u). I've given her a single glove as a reference to her hc10 skin and to Athena's single glove, since I think Athena and her share some fun similarities. Finally she has some grey pants (Capcom give these lawyer women pants!!) And brown dress boots.
Unfortunately, Gem's design was the easiest for me! I'm trying to keep the defense side relatively simple as you'll notice in aa they tend to be (rip Athena). I don't want everyone in a basic suit tho so I am trying to mix things up a bit. Would love some suggestions! As for the others, I have some ideas
Scott's S1 Empires skin is actually perfect! It's that multicolored tunic that could easily be depicted as a suit jacket with a white dress shirt underneath. Could be fun to mess around with what kind of shirt he's in or a neck accessory besides a tie. Other than that I haven't got much for him. Ace attorney lawyers also tend to be strongly color coded, so a multicolored suit may break that aa feel, but uh it's more fun <3. I may end up playing around with the colors anyway.
Mumbo's design is actually the easiest. I had more fun with Gem, hence why she was done first, but Mumbo is already wearing his ace attorney suit design lol. I kinda want to play around with it a bit more, but I may end up settling on his self imposed aa design.
Scar has an extremely unique problem for me where he actually has too many fun lawyer-adjacent skins. Particularly his hc8 and limited life skins. They are both very iconic to me but would be difficult to actually mesh into one deisgn. Additionally I ADORE the color pallette of his secret life skin (og, but red is good too) but I'm not sure if I could include it. Altogether Scar is the hardest!! If I pick one route I feel like I'm losing so many possibilities! And I don't want to just copy one skin of his, like Gem I want their to be numerous references to different skins. May have to study the aa wiki defense attorneys to get some better in-universe outfit ideas.
I've been having some trouble with Grian as I wanted to include his iconic sweater without breaking the prosecutor vibe. The prosecution tends to have more wild or whimsical (see Nahyuta) designs. However, I think Grian may end up on the more simple side of the prosecutor spectrum, Edgeworth is a more simple prosecutor anyway and Grian is Edgeworth-adjacent. Come to think of it tho, his poultry man skin looks stupidly similar to Gregory Edgeworth. Could do smth with that maybe hmmm.
Etho's design is actually pretty straightforward from his skin. And he only has one to work with haha. What I'm picturing looks a lot like Godot's outfit, he even has a mask on lol. I'm probably gonna try to make it pretty unique, but it is hard to resist the urge to just turn those sleeves into a button up and that green into a suit vest.
Joel is one I'm trying to play around with more. I've perused his skins and haven't had any stand out as super lawyer-y. His default is fun enough to work with tho! Gem's comment of his weird vest thing as a corset is making me consider giving him a corset (he and Gem can match!). I'm trying to distinguish him from Shrek as much as possible while still keeping recognizable elements from his default. All in all I think he'll be fun.
CLEO oh BOY am I excited for Cleo. I'm thinking a lot of Franziska's silhouette with Cleo, focussing on extravagant sleeves, particularly relating to that blue dress skin of Cleo's. I'm also thinking of Nahyuta's detailing. Cleo's skins, to me, give the perfect amount of inspo without spelling anything out. I'll probably stick to her usual color pallette, but playing around with her 80s skin colors could be fun! Cleo is very exciting for me!
Finally, Pearl. When it comes to Pearl's design, her top aa influence is Barok van Zieks. I adore his cape and would really like to use it as a reference to scarlet Pearl. I also really like his soldier-esc getup underneath it, and while I wouldn't go as heavy handed with it, I am tempted to take some bits. I also really like Lana Skye for Pearl as a design reference, but mostly for her sprites. Pearl will not be crazy corrupt like her, but I would like to draw some parallels
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vandalizedheart · 22 days ago
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seeing more lore/alt. verse posting from my moots has made me realize the awkward position i put myself in regarding my own lore....
#💔 ˚₊ · 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 ✗ long lost words whisper slowly to me. ❞#possible vent?? it's more neutral than that KJGFJDKG but.#i feel like i have a lot of content with my AU that can spark some interesting questions and interactions.#esp with like... everything surrounding eggman. nikki's psyche and mental health. how everything in her verse is vs canon. etc. etc.#even outside of “girl sonic” nikki is like... meant to be noticeably Not Okay and depicts some concerning behaviors LMAO.#but i feel like not many really... Care? i guess??#i know this is partially my fault b/c i'm often Funnyposting with her. this is due to a combination of;#IC-wise her downplaying her issues with deadpan humor. granted i do try and write her dialogue with an underlying layer of Concerning lol.#and OOC i try to bring in some lightheartedness between all the angst.#since ppl tend to get a cramp in their ass when you have your tragic character be TOO tragic from my experience. x__x#and i know the answer here is 'make more lore/story/worldbuilding posts' but i feel like the times that i DO there's just... Crickets.#so instead i work on all that by myself/infodump about it to friends on disc and just post whatever here lolol.#idk... maybe i'll put more effort into this blog. i've been meaning to fix up the carrd to include side muses;#and a more updated version of her story... as well as bring in some elements i wrote there over to the blog finally.#like did u know nikki is meant to have an old version of the eggmobile that she fixed up...#and how she also has not only theia/metal sonic at her side but also orbot and cubot (they haven't been activated yet but DFJGFDKJ)#cuz i forgot until i re-read my own carrd LMAO.#anyways i guess just... tl;dr: is anyone actually interested in nikki's lore aside from her being a funny girl sonic /genq#i know some of u are and i love & appreciate y'all <3.#i'll stop typing now because these tags are reaching 'why didn't i put all this under a readmore' length lolol.
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fadeintolight · 1 month ago
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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