#then Bucky asks Steve if he wants to meet Alpine since he was kind enough to inquire

[innerslumber]

My inspiration was this post. Please click for better quality of my chaotic manips lol. Steve x Bucky (And Alpine) Forever!

[unwrittenlibrary]

adore you

summary // bucky and alpine enjoy their solitude, but the girl across the hall is slowly creeping into their hearts. (bucky x fem!reader)

words // 7.4k

warnings // diverges from canon & no major spoilers.

notes // just thousands of words of fluff bc that’s all i know how to write. maybe one day i’ll venture into anything else. fluffy bucky has my heart 

reblogs & replies are greatly appreciated!

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The first time you knock on Bucky’s door Alpine wanders over curiously.

Bucky stares at the door silently urging you to go away. You knock again and Alpine begins to paw at the door before meowing loudly, which makes Bucky groan. “I’m coming.” He calls as he stands from the couch. He pauses the movie playing on his television, something ridiculous that Sam had insisted on. Alpine meows again and Bucky can hear you laugh through the door. 

He pulls on a hoodie that’s laying on his counter and stuffs his left hand into the front pocket. When he pulls the door open you smile brightly. “James!” 

The two of you had met briefly when Bucky had originally moved into the building. You had smiled the same bright smile in the elevator and offered up your name easily. Bucky had smiled tightly in return and told you his full name, a habit he had yet to break, and he deeply regretted it. Every time you passed in the hallway you called out a cheery James despite Bucky’s corrections. 

“It’s Bucky.” He mutters. Your eyes move over his shoulder and Bucky watches as you take in his very undecorated and barely furnished apartment. Bucky didn’t mind how seemingly empty his place was. He wasn’t home a lot and nobody but Sam spent time with him. Sam might think it was time to add barstools and a spice rack, but Bucky was content with how things were. 

Your attention is pulled to Alpine as he peeks out from behind Bucky’s legs. “And who are you?” You ask quietly as you squat down to meet his eyes. You hold a cautious hand out and Alpine only stares. You wait for a moment before he turns and moves back into the apartment. 

You don’t seem to take it to heart though. You laugh as you stand up. “He takes after his dad, huh.” There’s a teasing glint in your eyes and Bucky should be offended but the comment actually makes him smirk. 

“His name is Alpine.” Bucky says monotone as he watches you rock back and forth on your feet. “Did you need something?” 

“Oh!” Your eyes light up as if you had completely forgotten your reason for coming here in the first place. “I need salt! Do you have any?” Your eyes move behind him again as if you’re now suddenly worried the answer won’t be yes. 

“I have salt, yes.” He doesn’t move from his spot and only stares down at you. Your eyes flicker around the hallway before you smile nervously. “Can I have some?” You ask quietly. 

Bucky nods and makes his way into his kitchen. He expects you to stay and wait in the doorway, but he hears the door shut behind you.

“Didn’t want him to get out.” You say as you lean against his counter. Bucky’s a little put off by your brazen personality, but you don’t seem to notice his discomfort. “How long have you lived in DC?” You ask as Bucky moves to pull the salt out. 

“How much do you need?” He asks instead of answering. 

“Not much! A couple teaspoons.” Bucky’s stoic attitude doesn’t seem to deter you at all. He glances around the bare kitchen before deciding to just give you the shaker. 

“I don’t have anything to put it in, just make sure to return it eventually.” He shrugs as he slides it over to you. You grasp it in your hand but make no effort to move. Bucky sighs. “And I’ve lived here for a couple years now. I… I moved here after the Blip.” 

He wonders briefly if you know who he is. He’s not sure what happened in the years of the blip, if his name had been marked on one of those memorials. That had been before his pardon, so he assumes not. He wonders if Steve’s exhibit had been changed. He hadn’t been back since before the blip. Was he still in it? Had they changed it or was Bucky Barnes still dead in America’s eyes? His eyes find yours and then he wonders if you did know who he was, were you worried? 

You seemed fine around him. He hadn’t seen any recognition on your face when he had introduced himself all those months ago. A frown tugs at your lips. “Were you…” You trail off but Bucky knows the question. 

Bucky nods tightly and you take a step away and move towards his door, like you know he’s reached the limit on sharing personal details for the night. “Me too.” You finally say when your hand lands on his door knob. You pause. “It’s weird. Right? Coming back to a completely different world?”’

“Yeah.”  He nods. You have no idea, he thinks. He had just begun to figure out how to live free again and then he was gone. And when he came back, he was thrust into battle then lost Steve to a world Bucky was no longer a part of. “It’s weird.” 

You smile apologetically. “Thank you for the salt, James.” You say quietly. His eyes flash to yours but your face doesn’t give much away. 

He nods and the door slams shut. Alpine comes trotting out and rubs against Bucky’s shins. “Yeah, she’s weird.” Bucky reaches down to softly pet Alpine’s back. “Pretty though, huh?” 

Alpine pushes against his hand and Bucky takes that as agreement enough. 

//

Bucky liked helping Sam down at the VA. Handing things out, setting things up, and talking with veterans gave Bucky a sense of something. It gave him something to do when Sam and him weren’t away on missions. 

And he got to spend time with Sam. While it was something he would never admit to the man, he enjoyed his company. Sam had slowly become Bucky’s best friend. Not that Bucky really had any other close friends. 

“Thanks for helping out today.” Sam smiles as Bucky leads him through the hallway towards his apartment. “But you know, you can just come for a meeting. To talk.” 

Bucky nods. He did know that, really. But Bucky was okay with listening for now. Maybe one day he would share some of his story, but helping out now was helping him. 

Bucky stops short in the hall when he notices something sitting outside his door. He throws an arm out that Sam slams into. “Jesus, what…” He trails off when he notices what Bucky had seen. 

There’s a small brown box sitting on the ground. “Stay here.” He murmurs as he begins to move towards the object. Sam gives Bucky a look before following behind him. “Or not.” He glares. Both men kneel down in front of the box. There’s not much that gives anything about what’s in the box away, just his name written in fancy script. 

He reaches a hand out to touch it when the sound of your door opening makes him second guess and pull away. You were a little weird, but he didn’t want to blow you up. 

“James!” Him and Sam look over at you as you lock your door. You’ve got a red apron wrapped around your waist and your bag is slipping off your shoulder. Before Bucky can say anything like be careful, you furrow your brows at the men. “What are you doing? Do you not like cookies?” 

“Cookies?” Bucky asks as he glances down at the box again. Sam has already stood up and straightened out, but he’s still kneeling in front of the door. He can hear Alpine pawing at it, no doubt having heard Bucky’s voice, and he feels a little ridiculous now. “It’s Bucky.” He adds on now that he knows it’s not an explosive sitting in front of him. 

You nod slowly with a confused smile on your face. “Cookies. I made a bunch so I packed up the extra for you. When I knocked nobody answered so I left them, I wasn’t sure if I’d be home when you got back.” 

Bucky feels heat rise to his cheeks. He hastily picks the box up and stands. Sam laughs loudly and Bucky glances at him coldly. “Thanks.” He says quietly. 

You rock back and forth on your feet again. Must be a nervous habit, Bucky thinks. “I also made some cat treats. For Alpine.” Bucky recognizes the nervous tone in your voice as you stare at the box in his hands. “Thank you. For the help.” You say before spinning on your heel. You freeze and turn again, this time your eyes land on Sam. “Nice to meet you, Captain America, sir.” You look like you’re thinking of throwing your hand up in salute, but instead you turn again and rush down the hall. 

Bucky just stares after you until a muffled meow breaks his focus. He shakes his head before shoving the box into Sam’s hands and moving to unlock the door. “So.” Sam says with a poorly contained smirk as he follows Bucky inside. “She seems nice, James.” 

Bucky groans before snatching the box from his hands. “She knows I go by Bucky, she just calls me that to mess with me… I think.”

“And she knows Alpine?” Sam kneels down to pet said cat, but he jumps away and hides behind Bucky’s legs. “Come on, Al. We’ve known each other since you were adopted.” Sam stands up and rolls his eyes at Bucky. 

Bucky laughs softly at the cat. “She asked to borrow salt last night and kind of met him. Alpine didn’t really stick around to hang out with her.” He begins to open the box and notices a small note taped to the inside of the lid. 

He pulls it off hesitantly. “What’s her name?” Sam leans against the counter and pulls a cookie out of the box.

“Y/N.” He says quietly as his eyes skim over the note. 

James, 

Thank you for the salt. And the conversation. I hope you enjoy the cookies. I made some simple tuna treats for Alpine. 

Step One in getting your cat to love me. 

Bucky lays the note on his counter and looks into the box. His shaker is standing in the corner next to a small plate of cookies and a jar of what he assumes are the cat treats. Sam laughs and Bucky glances up to see him reading over the note. “Hey!” Bucky yanks it out of his hand and shoves it into one of the drawers in front of him. 

“Getting Alpine and you to love her, she means.” He laughs again and Bucky rolls his eyes. “That’s cute. I didn’t know you had a little flirtationship going on.” 

Bucky scoffs. “I don’t… What does that even mean? Did you see us in the hall? I don’t flirt with her.” 

Sam reaches for another cookie. “Really? Just felt like that’s how you would flirt. And you blushed so…” He trails off with a smirk. 

“I wasn’t blushing!” Bucky says defensively. He didn’t blush just because a pretty girl gave him cookies. He wasn’t in middle school. When Sam reaches for another cookie, Bucky yanks the box away. “Are you gonna order dinner or stand here and eat all of my cookies?” 

Sam throws his hands up in mock surrender and pulls out his cell phone. “Hey. No need to get defensive. Maybe it was just hot in the hallway.” He moves into the living room and flings himself onto the small couch. 

Bucky scoffs and looks down at Alpine, who has made himself comfortable at Bucky’s feet. “I wasn’t blushing.” He says quietly to the cat. Alpine just blinks. Bucky pulls a treat out of the small jar and holds it out to him. “You know I wasn’t blushing.” 

//

The next time Bucky sees you, it’s him at your door. He’s got a clean plate in his hand and is decidedly not nervous as he waits for you to answer. 

He lifts his hand to knock again when the door swings open. You’re standing in nothing but a sweatshirt and shorts that barely peek out from beneath it. Bucky swallows and forces his eyes up from your legs to your face. 

He gives you an apologetic smile when he sees your raised brows. “James.” You smile kindly as you lean against your door frame. “What can I do for you?” 

“Bucky.” He says automatically. He holds the plate out and notices your eyes catch on his gloved hands. “Figured you might want this back. I washed it.” 

You take the plate from his hands. “Thank you.” Bucky doesn’t move from his spot in the hallway. He’s not really sure why because he’s done what he needed to do. He just wanted to enjoy your presence, he assumes. You had begun to grow on him and your cookies were really good. Or maybe he had always kind of liked you. 

“Do you want to come in?” You ask. There’s an inviting smile on your face and he almost says yes. He wants to say yes. But he didn’t want to leave Alpine alone, he had already been gone for most of the day. 

Bucky gives you an apologetic smile. “I would… But I don’t want to leave Alpine alone.” You nod with a soft smile and Bucky watches for a moment before taking a step back.

“I’ll just…” He points over shoulder at his door. He turns and starts the short walk to his door. 

You laugh quietly. “Have a good night, James.” 

“Bucky.” He corrects. He takes a deep breath and turns to face you again. You’re still standing in your doorway watching him amused. “Do you want to… You can come to mine instead?” 

Your small smile transforms into something bright and excited as you nod. “That would be great. Let me grab my keys.” You hold a finger up and disappear into your apartment. 

As soon as you're out of sight Bucky slumps against the wall. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He thinks. His living room is bare except for the small, shitty couch Sam had persuaded him into buying. That and a lamp on an Ikea side table and his television. 

He imagined your living room was much homier. Probably decorated to fit your aesthetic and cozy. What would you think of his place? What did you think? You couldn’t mind it too much if you agreed to come, right? 

His nervous train of thought is disrupted when he hears your door slam shut. Bucky watches as you lock your door quickly. “Lead the way!” You look at Bucky with teasing eyes. 

Bucky smiles hesitantly as he turns towards his own door. When he opens it, he finds Alpine laying on the back of the couch and he stares confused at Bucky and the new addition to the apartment. 

“You remember Alpine.” Bucky says with a small smile as he beckons you further into the apartment. “It’s not much-“

“-It’s nice.” You cut him off. You’ve got a genuine smile on your face and Bucky begins to wonder why he had ever been nervous. You’d always been kind, he couldn’t imagine you having anything rude to say. “Hi, Alpine.” You say quietly as you step cautiously towards the couch. 

Bucky watches as Alpine looks up at you equally as cautious. “Nice to see you again. I hope you like the treats.” At the word, Alpine perks up and looks at you intrigued. 

Bucky quietly pulls a couple treats out of the jar. He moves as subtly as he can in order to avoid shifting Alpine’s attention. “Here.” He slips a treat into your hand. “See if he comes to you.”

You hold the treat out in front of you and Alpine sniffs the air. You don’t say anything, like you know trying to coax the cat to you might spook him. Alpine seems to appreciate it and moves towards you slowly. He snatches the treat from your hand before dashing away. He disappears down the hallways, but you don’t seem to care because you spin around to face Bucky with a happy smile. 

“Did you see that?” You laugh. Bucky swallows and nods. Briefly he thinks you have a beautiful smile before shaking the thought off. You take a seat on his couch and pull your legs up underneath you. “I’ll be his favorite in no time.”  

Bucky snorts. “I’m sure.” He says sarcastically. He sits next to you on the couch and moves to hand the remote to you. He lets a small smile be directed at you as he watches you make yourself comfortable in his home. It’s not much, but you seem to fit right in. 

When your eyes land on his gloved hands again, he thinks you’re gonna ask for a reasoning behind them. He’d have to come up with a poor excuse, not wanting to share the truth yet. But your eyes move from his hands to his face and you take the remote with a smirk. “You ever seen Legally Blonde?”

And, well. That’s that. 

//

The next time you and Bucky see each other, it’s in passing. He’s going out as you’re coming in. There’s a grease stain on your shirt and your red apron is barely stuffed into your purse.

Bucky hesitates for a moment. “Hey.” He says quietly. You spin around and slam backwards into your door. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.” He takes a cautious step towards you. His eyes trail over your face, your eyes are red and he can tell how exhausted you are. 

“It’s okay.” You say quietly. You take a few calming breaths. “I was in my head. It was a rough night.” 

Bucky leans against the wall next to you. “Wanna talk about it?” He’s grown so used to you just stopping to chat that this tense silence feels wrong. Normally he wouldn’t even have to prompt you, he would listen as you just launch into a story easily.

You trail your eyes over his outfit. “You look like you’re headed out.”

Bucky shrugs and doesn’t move from his spot. “Just a recap then. I have time.” He’s not sure what’s inspired him to do this. But he thinks it has something to do with this newfound fondness to your bright personality. He wants it back. 

You take a deep breath and nod. “Come in for a glass of water? Then I’ll let you go.” 

Bucky sighs in relief. “Sounds perfect.” He follows you into the apartment. It’s different from his. Bright, like you. You’ve got posters hanging neatly on the wall your tv is against. Plants sitting by your window. A large couch and soft rug. “Nice place.” He comments as he moves to sit on one of your barstools.

You laugh softly. “Thanks.” You drop your purse onto the counter and turn to pull two glasses out of the cupboard. “Where are you headed? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

Bucky glances at the time on your stove. “Oh… I help my friend out with meetings at the VA. I was headed to help him set up.” 

You slide a glass of water towards him. “You’re a vet?” He takes it with an appreciative smile. “I didn’t…” You shake your head. “Thank you.” 

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m not…” He trails off unsure of how to explain his status to you. Did you really not know who he was? “Tonight's topic is you.”

You roll your eyes and lean back against the counter. “Have you ever just had a bad day? Where nothing seems to go right?” Bucky nods and you sigh. “My master’s thesis, I’ve been working on it for months, I got back my draft today from my advisor and he tore it apart. Had a good cry about that. Got called in early to work, I need the money so I said yes. The diner was busy and we were short staffed. To top it off, my last customer of the night was a douche. He hit on me all night. When I told him no to getting my phone number, he threatened to take my tip away.” You laugh bitterly as Bucky sits in silence, listening intently. “And then when I walked away, he tried to grab me. So… Stellar night over all.” 

“Want me to kill him?” The words are out of Bucky’s mouth before he can think. He couldn’t imagine being forced to be nice to somebody who was just harassing him all night. In fact, he knows he wouldn’t be. And he knows you certainly didn’t deserve treatment like that. 

You let out a shocked laugh that turns into a full blown laughing fit. Bucky lets out an awkward chuckle as he watches you shake. 

“That’s…” You trail off and Bucky notices tears gathering in your eyes. “That’s really sweet.” You say wetly. 

“Hey.” Bucky stands up and takes a step towards you. He pauses, unsure of what to do, but when you start to shake again, this time with tears, his decision is made. “Hey. You’re okay.” 

He pulls you into him and you come easily. You wrap your arms tightly around his waist and rest your head against his chest as you let it out. 

Bucky rubs your back and tries his best to calm his rapidly beating heart. He hopes you can’t hear it because he’s sure it would break any kind of aura of nonchalance he had created. 

He glances at the time again. He really has to go. The meeting was starting soon and he’s sure Sam is worried about where Bucky is. He pulls back slowly, not wanting to let go. 

You look at him with sad eyes. “I’m so sorry. I have to go.” You nod dejectedly and take a step back. You don’t go too far, both of your hands still clinging to his jacket. “Can you watch Alpine?” He rushes the words out and he knows there’s a light blush rising to his cheeks. He just wants to make you feel better and he really does hate leaving his cat alone. 

You furrow your brows. “What?” 

“I mean.” He takes a hurried step back suddenly aware of you still wrapped in his arms. “I hate leaving him alone. And… You look like you could use some furry company.” 

A slow smile spreads across your face. “Are you saying your cat likes me?”

“No.” Bucky laughs. “But you are the only other person he doesn’t completely hate.” 

“I would love to watch Alpine.” You take a few rushed steps out of your kitchen. “I’ll change and head over.” 

Bucky lets out a relieved breath and nods. “Good. Cool. I mean-“ He shakes his head. “-my spare key is on top of my door. You don’t have to do anything but hang out with him. Don’t expect cuddles though, I’m not sure you’re on that level yet. Don’t give him too many treats.” 

You’re nodding like his instructions are even the smallest bit important. “I have to go.” Bucky says ago and takes another step towards the door. “I’ll see you later.” 

You nod and take off down your hall. Bucky lingers by your door for a moment.

“Wait!” You yell and come rushing out again. Bucky freezes and turns to look at you. “Thank you…James.” You smile brightly before spinning around again and disappearing. 

Bucky smiles to himself as he leaves. The bright was back. 

//

When Bucky gets home he’s more nervous than when he left. His palm is sweaty and all that’s on his mind is Sam’s constant teasing. 

Bucky didn’t have a crush. He just… Liked having you around. That didn’t mean he wanted to date you. Maybe he did think you were pretty. And sure when you had let him hug you earlier it had made his heart race. 

But it wasn’t a crush. Bucky was too old to have a crush. He takes a deep breath before opening his door. He can hear a movie playing softly before he even looks up. 

“Hey.” You say quietly from where you’re laying on his couch. You sit up hastily with an embarrassed smile. Alpine is laying on the chair across from you. “We’re friends!” You point to the sleeping cat. 

Bucky nods. “He actually stayed in the same room as you all night?” He asks doubtfully. 

You frown, but there’s a mischievous sparkle in your eyes. “Maybe not all night. But he came out like an hour ago. I think he gave up on waiting for me to leave.” 

You pat the spot next to you on the couch and Bucky moves as quietly as he can. “How was your night? Do you feel better?” He looks you over. You looked less tired and from the blankets piled on his couch it looks like you had taken a nap. 

You nod. “A lot better… Thank you. I really appreciate you letting me hang out with your cat.” You look up at him with a nervous smile. “He’s just like you. You two were made for each other.” 

Bucky glances at Alpine. “What does that mean?” 

You poke Bucky’s leg with your socked foot. “Hard exterior, secretly wants to be best buds with me.” 

Bucky snorts and gently shoves your foot away. “My secret plan has been outed. Make the girl from 4B my best friend.” You laugh and move to tuck your feet under his leg. It’s silent for a moment, and Bucky knows you’re watching him so he busies himself with watching Alpine.

“Hey…” You trail off waiting for Bucky to turn his attention to you. “I don’t want to upset you or anything.” 

“That’s always a good start.” Bucky says nervously as he focuses on you. Your hands are fidgeting in your lap as you watch him. “What’s wrong?” 

You shake your head quickly. “Nothing’s wrong! I just… Promise you won’t be upset with me?” Your eyes are pleading and Bucky can feel himself get anxious. What could you be so nervous about? 

“What’s wrong?” He asks quietly. You don’t say anything, so Bucky swallows hard. “I promise.” He nods slowly. 

“Okay.” You take a deep breath. Bucky watches your eyes shift around the room before landing on his hands clenched together in his lap. “I thought I recognized you. Like, your name is so familiar and then when I saw you with Captain America…” 

Bucky looks down at his hands and nods. He knew where this was going. “I…” He trails off. 

“I looked you up.” You rush the words out. Your voice is small and Bucky feels any hopes he had for this friendship shatter around him. 

“I don’t… I’m not any of those things anymore.” Bucky cringes. His leg is shaking anxiously, but he just can’t get it to stop. He can’t even get himself to look up from his gloved hands, didn’t want to see the fear or disbelief that would be painted across your face. 

Your toes poke at his thigh again and it forces Bucky to look over at you. Your eyebrows are furrowed as you watch him, but there’s no trace of fear or anger, you wear the same kind smile that you always did. 

“I know that.” You whisper softly. Your eyes move past him and Bucky follows your line of vision to Alpine, whose bright eyes are staring at him. Bucky smiles gently at the cat as he stretches out and hops off the chair. Alpine rubs against Bucky’s shins, a welcome distraction from the impending conversation. Your feet curve upward to poke Bucky in the leg again. He looks up hastily at the gesture. “When I asked if you were a vet earlier, why did you say no?” 

Bucky purses his lips to think. The truth was he wasn’t at all sure how to explain everything to you. He didn’t have to explain things to Sam or Steve, they knew. “My war was a long time ago.” He settles on saying. 

“That doesn’t make you any less a veteran.” You say firmly.  “And there’s not much online about the Winter Soldier-“ There’s ringing in Bucky’s ears as the words come out of your mouth. What had you found? And what were you thinking? 

“Hey.” You lean over and place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “There’s not much online, but I didn’t read what there was because I knew that it was your story to tell me. When you’re ready.” 

Bucky inhales sharply as you look at him with curious eyes. “I… I did a lot of bad things. I… I worked on making amends and I… I was pardoned.” He pleads with you like he’s sure you’ll walk out if you know everything. 

“Okay.” The word is quiet and your hand is still resting on his shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me anything. I just wanted you to know that I’m your friend. Even with your super cool secret identity.” 

Bucky laughs at that. “It’s not a secret if you use your real name.” 

“Ah! You agree? We’re friends?” You say with a smirk. “Does that mean I get to see the super cool metal arm that’s always been covered around me?” 

Bucky shakes his head, but laughs. “Not yet.” You’re watching him carefully so he gives you a small smile. “I would say we’re friends though, yeah.” 

//

Suddenly, you’re always there. 

When Bucky has missions with Sam, you check in on Alpine for him. His spare key has moved from above his door to your keychain. 

You’ll come over with treats when he gets home from the VA. (Bucky likes to think you check for him when you hear the heavy footsteps in the hall and that’s why you’re always there right after he gets home.) 

He’ll bring dishes back whenever he sees you get home. (He does check the peephole when he hears footsteps.) 

You send him pictures of Alpine when he’s away. Alpine who still won't cuddle with you or even touch you, but who lays in the same room and has recently started allowing short pets. He sends you pictures of Sam and cities they’re in. 

And tonight, while he’s in New York, you’ve sent him a picture of you in his bathroom mirror with Alpine sitting pretty on the counter. 

He’s not supposed to be up there. 

All he gets is another picture in return, this time you have a thumbs up and Alpine is still on the counter. Bucky smiles. Sam notices. 

“Your girlfriend texting you?” He teases. 

Bucky scoffs. “She’s not my girlfriend… She just watches Alpine for me sometimes.” He looks back down at his phone. Nice. He sends back before stuffing it into his pocket and looking back at the man. 

Sam nods slowly. “Right. She just watches Alpine sometimes. And hangs out with you when she’s free. Don’t forget the treats she makes you and Alpine.” Sam lists off casually as he looks down at his fingernails. 

Bucky feels an embarrassed heat crawl up the back of his neck and looks down at his feet. “We’re friends. She’s a good friend.” 

When he looks up, Sam doesn’t have a teasing smile, but instead a genuinely happy one. Bucky thinks that this one is somehow worse when Sam grips his shoulder firmly. “I’m glad you have such a good friend, Bucky. Someone outside this super hero business.”

Bucky nods and swallows the lump in his throat. “Yeah. Thanks, Sam.”

“I’m serious, Bucky. You deserve it.” 

Bucky gives him a grateful smile unable to say anything else.

//

Bucky creeps into his apartment at four in the morning. It’s quiet, like usual, but Alpine isn’t sitting on the couch like he normally does when Bucky isn’t home. 

“Al?” He calls out quietly. The logical part of him is aware that Alpine may have fallen asleep in his bedroom, or underneath a piece of furniture. But there’s another part of him that panics at the routine being broken. 

Alpine was always there to greet him. 

Bucky would rather be safe than sorry. “Al.” He whispers again, already reaching for the knife strapped to his ankle. He bends slowly and lifts his pant leg as he scans his eyes under the couch and coffee table in search of the cat. 

He stands with the knife in his hand and moves slowly down his hallway. His bedroom door is ajar, Bucky takes a deep breath before pushing it open all the way. Alpine blinks at him from the edge of his bed. The knife slips from Bucky’s hand as he stands, shocked in the doorway. You’re asleep. Asleep on the bed that he never used. 

The knife clattering against the ground stirs you from your sleep and your eyes widen when you notice Bucky standing there. 

“Hey!” Your voice is raspy and low. You rub your eyes and Bucky can only stare at your half-asleep form. “I… I thought you were going to be gone until tomorrow night.” 

He nods. “Yeah. I mean, we got things done sooner than expected.” He explains. You lean over to flicker the light next to you on. Bucky doesn’t recognize the pillow sitting behind you or the blanket that’s thrown over your legs, he thinks you’ve brought them over from your apartment. You must have because his pillow and blanket was sitting folded in his linen closet waiting for the next time he camped out on the floor or the couch. 

You smile apologetically. “I’m sorry. I… I got tired of falling asleep on the couch.” You whisper. “And Alpine lays with me on the bed.” 

Bucky hastily shakes his head. “No! It’s fine. You don’t have to apologize. I should’ve told you to sleep in the bed. I didn’t even think of it.” I don’t really sleep in the bed. He moves further into the room. 

You scratch nervously at your cheek before freezing in action. He almost laughs at the annoyance that crosses your face. You had mentioned once that touching your face was a bad habit you had been trying to break for months. “I should go.” 

“You don’t have to.” Bucky opens his dresser drawer in search of sweatpants. “Stay here. You’ve already got yourself set up. I’ll crash on the couch.” 

You push the blanket off of your legs and Bucky has to force his eyes to stay on yours when he notices the already short shorts you’re wearing have ridden up your thighs from sleeping. “I can’t make you sleep on the couch, James. I’ll go!” 

“You know it’s Bucky.” He stops you with a hand on your shoulder. “It’s fine.” He stresses. “I… I don’t really sleep in the bed anyways. The couch is better.” 

Your eyes narrow. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” He can tell you’re hesitant, but your rushed movements have paused. “My apartment is across the hall! I feel awful for invading your space like this already.” 

Bucky sits on the edge of the bed and watches curiously as you shift to sit next to him. Both your legs are dangling off, almost brushing his, and Bucky feels warmer than he had all week. “Doll, I’m serious. Beds are weird for me. I haven’t had one in so long that sometimes they’re just too overwhelming for me to sleep in.” 

He almost jumps when your head rests against his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t think of that.” 

“It’s good to see somebody getting good use out of this bed.” He leans into you slightly. “My ma would have thrown a fit if she saw how much this bed was. 800 dollars for a mattress... 800 dollars back then is like, thousands now.” 

You laugh softly. Bucky glances down again. Your eyes are closed and he thinks you’re almost asleep until you talk. “Do you… Would someone being there help you sleep in the bed?” 

You don’t open your eyes and Bucky’s almost glad for that because he can’t look away from you. “I… I don’t know. It’s only been Al and I.” His eyes follow the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe slow and calm. 

You finally look up. “You should stay with me. The couch isn’t comfortable to sleep on, I would know.” You elbow his stomach gently. 

He nods before he can even think about it. “If… If you’re comfortable with it.” He whispers. 

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t. I promise.” You move away from him and Bucky already misses the warmth you radiate. “I’ll let you change.” 

He leans against the bathroom door as soon as it’s shut behind him. “It’s okay.” He mumbles to himself. His nightmares had been getting better, but that didn’t mean they were gone entirely. 

They probably never would be. And he knew he couldn’t let himself be afraid of the bed for the rest of his life. He had bought the bed. He just hadn’t expected his attempt at getting over the anxiety to be with you. 

Why had he said yes? He thinks as he shakily slips his jacket off. He looks at himself in the mirror and sighs. It was a good question, why had he said yes? 

He slips into his sweatpants and just stands in the bathroom. He couldn’t change his mind now. 

Well, he could. He knew you would give him a kind smile and reassure him that he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to. You were just that person. Kind and understanding and holding no judgement. 

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Okay.” He shakes his shoulders out and picks up his discarded clothes. He stops at the linen closet and pulls out his blanket and pillow. 

You’re already wrapped up in your blanket again when Bucky comes back into the room. Alpine has moved to lay the floor in front of his bed. You smile sleepily at Bucky. He feels himself smile back. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

(When his eyes crack open the next morning he finds Alpine curled at his feet and you curled into his side, he knows being with you wouldn’t be bad. It’s the first time he lets himself think maybe this really is a crush.) 

//

So, Bucky has a crush. Which is a little ridiculous because he’s over a century old and having a crush is so high school, but it’s there. When you smile in the hall and butterflies rush through his stomach or when his chest warms at a picture you’ve sent of you and Alpine. It’s so obviously there. 

“What are you staring at?” Your voice shakes him when he realizes he’s been staring at you this entire time. You’re sitting next to him on the couch, so close your legs are touching. “Do I have something on my face?” You reach a hand up to your cheek. 

Bucky shakes his head hastily. “No. Sorry, I was just lost in my thoughts.”

“Penny?” You ask softly and Bucky furrows his brows in confusion. “Penny for your thoughts.” You clarify quickly. 

He thinks the smile that appears on your face is bashful and it makes Bucky feel just a little more confident. Maybe he made you as nervous as you made him. 

“You’re really pretty.” He says suddenly. Your eyes widen and you look away nervously. A hand scratches at the back of your neck and Bucky bites down on his lip as he watches you. Not exactly how he hoped that would go. “I mean… I was just looking at… how pretty you were.” He cringes at the words as they come out of his mouth. 

He used to be so much smoother than this, he thinks. He remembered having a new girl on his arm every week and a friend of theirs for Steve. 

Alpine meows loudly and Bucky just knows the cat is laughing at him. “Thank you.” You finally say quietly. “I… I didn’t think you thought that about me.” 

“‘Course I do.” He says equally as quietly. “Always thought you were pretty.” He glances at you and smirks, “Even when I thought you were weird too.” 

You gasp and turn to look at him. “You thought I was weird?” 

Bucky laughs and nods. “After you came in the middle of the night for salt? A little. And the fact that you keep calling me James when I’ve told you it’s Bucky.” He raises an eyebrow. 

You smile brightly. “You introduced yourself as James. Why would I call you anything else?” 

Bucky presses his tongue to his cheek as he tries not to laugh. “Yeah. I’ve regretted that every day since. Nobody’s called me James since the forties.” 

You scoff. “I find that hard to believe.” 

Bucky looks away. “Well for decades I was referred to as soldat.” He glances down at his hands. He’d stop wearing his gloves around you after you’d spent the night, even told you a little of his story the next morning. 

Sam thinks your relationship is weird. You spend the night sometimes and both of you find time to spend together when you can. It’s like you’re dating, but Bucky knows it’s not really like that. He thinks you both bring a sense of calm to one another. 

He’s not sure how to shift that, or if you would even want to, into a relationship. He glances back at you with a tense smile. “Steve always called me Buck. Sam calls me Bucky. Last person to call me James was probably my mother.” 

“I’m sorry… I never meant to-'' You take a deep breath like you’re preparing yourself for what you're going to say next. 

Bucky shakes his head. “It’s fine. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I was just pointing it out.” He tries to smile reassuringly. 

“I was just trying to flirt.” You say so quickly the words sound jumbled together. 

It takes him a moment to comprehend what you’ve said. “With me?” He points to himself. The words make his confidence rise exponentially. “You were trying to flirt with me?” 

“With you.” You confirm with a slow nod. You start laughing, but it’s soft and happy. “Of course I was! I wanted you to remember me! How could I do that if I called you what everybody else does?” 

“I don’t know. Anything else?” He laughs along with you. “I…” He shakes his head with a smile. 

You both settle and Bucky hears you inhale sharply. “The salt to come see you and talk, the cookies and treats for Alpine… I’ve had this huge crush on you since you moved in.” You say softly. 

Bucky nods, he could see it now. Then he starts laughing again. He feels you smack his shoulder. “I’m sorry… You… Sam said that those cookies and treats were you trying to get me and Alpine to like you.” 

You roll your eyes at him. “Keen eye. He saw I was flirting.” You tease gently. “Does it… Does it bother you? Or change anything? The fact that I was flirting?” You ask softly and full of nerves. 

Bucky smiles sweetly. “That depends. Do you still want to flirt with me?” 

You narrow your eyes, but nod. “I don’t ask just any boy to sleep in the same bed as me.” 

“Just me and Alpine?” Bucky nudges your knee with his. You nod softly and he inhales a deep, nervous breath. “It worked.” He says quietly. 

You nudge his knee back. “It did?” 

He turns to look at you again. You’re already looking up at him with hopeful eyes and Bucky feels his heart race. “Yeah. I like you a lot. I don’t... I haven’t felt this way in a long time.” 

A smile breaks out on your face. “I like you a lot too.” You whisper, like you’re afraid anything louder will break the moment. 

“Can I kiss you?” He whispers back. You nod excitedly and lean towards him. Bucky places a gentle hand on your cheek as shuts his eyes and leans in. 

His chest warms when your lips press against his tentatively, like you’re both still nervous it’s not real. Your lips are soft and Bucky knows his own are chapped, but he feels you smile against him and can’t stop his own smile from overtaking his face. 

You pull away, but you’re still close enough that your lips are brushing against his. He’s caught up in the moment staring at you when he feels something rub against his shin. 

It makes you pull apart. Alpine is rubbing himself against both your legs and purring softly. Bucky presses a kiss to your cheek. 

“Think you won both of us over.” 

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

notes // what do you do when your midterm is an essay & gave you a headache? write bucky barnes fanfiction. thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed it. ps i’ve seen some spelling mistakes promise to edit those in the morning!

[lillywillow]

Birthday Wishes

Summary: Bucky wants to plan the best party ever for his young daughter

 Word Count: 2430

 Square Filled: Free Space

 Pairings: Singledad!Bucky x Female Reader/ Steve x Peggy

 Warnings: None really

 Written for @star-spangled-bingo

Ever since the mother to Bucky’s daughter passed away when she was a baby, he had been totally devoted to her and every year on her birthday, he went all out trying to make it the best one ever.

 About a month ago, Tony’s daughter Morgan had a mermaid themed party; complete with a woman dressed as a mermaid. Bucky’s daughter Rebecca had totally raved about it and with her own birthday coming up, he made a note to take one of the business cards with him.

...

 The moment Bucky walked into the building, he was in awe. The front of the store was full of costumes, dolls, plushies, pirate treasure chests, fairy wings and wands... every kind of fantasy item a child could possibly want and a lot of it looked handmade. Out the back, he could hear squealing and laughter. A party in progress, perhaps?

 “Good afternoon, welcome to Childhood Dreams. How may I help you?” the receptionist asked.

 “Hi. I’m looking to book a party? It’s for my daughter...”

 “I see. Well, before booking a party, you’ll need to make an appointment with Y/N. She likes to customise her parties to the client. She’s currently doing a performance but if you’re happy to wait, she’ll be done soon...”

 “I can wait...”

 “Great. Follow me please...”

 Bucky followed the receptionist into the back. There was a pirate party taking place with all the children dressed up as pirates. There were props and decorations keeping in tone with the theme and an incredible cake. On the stage up the front was the same woman who had played the part of the mermaid at Morgan’s party, this time she was a pirate, enacting a mighty swordfight with another actor. She really put her all into the performance.

 Bucky watched her for a moment before the receptionist pulled him along and guided him to an office along the side. The inside of the office was just as cheerful and childlike as the rest of the place. The desk was lined with small trinkets. Along the walls were various photographs of the woman in different costumes. A princess, a fairy, a friendly witch... there was a costume for every occasion. Bucky was in the middle of admiring them when the door opened and the subject from the photos stepped in.

 “You must be the gentleman wanting a party,” she smiled, taking off her hat and eye patch before sitting at her desk and encouraging him to take a seat. “I’m Y/N.”

 “Yes, that’s right. My name is Bucky and I’m looking to do a birthday party for my daughter Rebecca,” he said, getting his phone out to show her a picture.

 Y/N smiled at the photo of the little girl who was dressed as a princess.

 “Tell me about Rebecca. I take it she’s a princess fan?”

 Bucky’s face lit up as he spoke about his little girl. Everything that she loved about princesses and fairytales, down to her favourite colours, animals and mythical creatures.

 “I’m probably rambling now...”

 “No, no, I think it’s sweet to see a father so dedicated to his daughter. Let me show you a few of our packages,” she smiled.

 Y/N logged into her tablet to show him a few of the princess themed parties they offered. Bucky looked through the options before deciding on a fantasy type one with princesses, wizards and all things in that vein.

 “Will you be having the party here or elsewhere?”

 “I think home would be best... unless... here would be better? I don’t know...”

 “Some children feel more comfortable on home base and some like going out. It’s really up to you. My job is to give your child the best possible experience...”

 Bucky nodded slowly and thought.

 “She might like a party in her own backyard...”

 “That’s totally fine. I’ll need to visit ahead of time just so I can work on a setup. Now, will you be providing your own cake? If not, I can recommend an excellent bakery.”

 “A family friend agreed to make the cake,” Bucky replied.

 Y/N nodded and jotted down a few notes.

 “What about food?”

 “Yes, we’ll be making our own food too.”

 Y/N nodded again and wrote down a few more notes. After agreeing on a price, a date and time to meet, his address and the date of the party, Bucky started heading out the door.

 “One more thing...”

 Bucky turned to look at her.

 “I like to ask our clients how they found out about our business...”

 “A while ago, you threw a mermaid party for a friend of mine’s daughter. Rebecca couldn’t stop talking about it for days after that...”

 Y/N smiled fondly.

 “I see... well, I guess I’ll see you when I come to do my inspection. Goodbye, Bucky.”

 “Bye.”

 As Bucky left the office, he could feel his heart fluttering like it hadn’t done in a long time. Ever since his wife’s passing, Bucky hadn’t even looked at another woman. Well, he had looked but he had always been so busy taking care of Rebecca, he didn’t really have time to be pursuing women. Sure on occasion, he would go on a blind date now and then and Steve would babysit but that would be the extent of it. Bucky thought for sure his dating life was over but talking to Y/N just now... it gave him a lot of hope.

...

 Time went by and eventually the day arrived when you went to meet Bucky at his place. Bucky greeted you at the door with a smile and ushered you inside. Smiling, you looked around the place. Pictures of Bucky’s life lined the walls and shelves. Photos of him with friends but most of them were of his little girl. One thing you noticed was the lack of pictures of the girl’s mother. There were a few of her before having the child but not many after.

 “So, um... what do you need to see?”

 “You mentioned a backyard?” you said, referring back to the interview you had a few days ago.

 Bucky nodded and showed you the way. First, you scoped out the best place to conduct your performance then took out your measuring tape to size up the props you might need. As you worked, Bucky could see the gears turning in your head.

 “Do you go out to different locations a lot?” Bucky asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

 “Not a lot but it’s always fun when we do.”

 “How long have you been in business?”

 “It’s taken me about ten years to get it off the ground. It’s only been gaining popularity in the last year or so...”

 “Wait, so you own Childhood Dreams?”

 “Sure do. You see, I always believed childhood should be about fun and games before going onto the drudgery of adulthood. And I help out local business in the process. Most of the items available for purchase were made by local artists. I’m always willing to lend a hand when they need it. That’s why I ask about food. There’s a small bakery a few blocks from the building we’re located who does the most beautiful cakes...”

 You suddenly were interrupted by something brushing up against your leg. Looking down, you saw the most adorable white cat.

 “Why, hello there. Aren’t you a cutie?” you cooed, bending down to pat the snowy feline.

 “This is Alpine. Rebecca is just crazy about her. She’s been a really big help ever since...” Bucky paused, feeling a lump in his throat and tears well up in his eyes.

 Alpine trotted over to him and purred as he picked her up.

 “Sorry. It’s just... ever since my wife passed when Rebecca was a baby; I’ve wanted to give her the best life possible. I try to give equal amounts of time between her so she can look up to me and work so she has the best things in life...”

 You went over and gave him a hug.

 “You’re a good man, Bucky. I’ve been in this business long enough to tell the devoted parents from the off-standers. Just by spending a few minutes with you, I already know that you love your daughter and think the world of her. Just make sure you spend a few moments taking care of yourself, okay? It doesn’t have to be much, just enough so you feel good too.”

 Bucky gave you a soft smile, knowing that you were right. Everyone had told him as such but sometimes, it’s harder to take advice from the people closest to you.

 “Can I get you anything to drink?” he offered.

 “Actually, I should get going. I’ve got a children’s charity event I need to get ready for. It’s been really nice seeing you again, Bucky. I guess the next time I see you will be for your daughter’s party.”

 “See you then,” Bucky smiled.

 He couldn’t wait for the party.

...

 Finally, the day of Rebecca’s birthday arrived. Bucky had spent the night before busily transforming his humble home into a castle fit for a princess. He wanted everything to be perfect for his little girl’s special day, buying the most glittery, ruffled princess dress for her to wear, complete with a sparkly tiara. Bucky himself hired a prince costume and even managed to obtain a kitty sized dragon costume for Alpine.

 Bucky spent the morning cooking, starting with a plate of pancakes for breakfast before moving onto the finishing touches on the food for the party. He had most of it prepared already but some of it needed heating.

 The first to arrive was Wanda with her twin boys who were both in costume. The boys instantly ran over to play with Rebecca while Wanda was left holding the cake she had made along with her purse and the present she had bought. Bucky rushed over to help her with the items and after exchanging greetings and pleasantries, she showed his the cake.

 It was everything Bucky could have ever hoped for and more. The cake was purple with ice cream cones decorated like castle turrets, topped with little princess and unicorn figurines and the words ‘Happy Birthday, Rebecca’ written in icing along with the age she was turning. Little pink flowers were piped along the sides.

 “Thank you so much, Wanda. Becca’s just going to love it.”

 “You’re welcome,” she smiled, giving him a hug.

 Soon after Wanda’s arrival was Steve and Peggy with their child followed by Tony, Pepper and Morgan, Sam with his kid and it wasn’t long before all the party guests had arrived. The adults all mingled while the children played together happily. Right on time, Y/N arrived with her scene partner in full costume. She was wearing a knight costume while her partner (whom she introduced as Phil) was dressed as an ‘evil’ wizard. Bucky settled the kids in front of the makeshift stage and let the performance begin.

 Y/N started by introducing herself as a knight dedicated to Princess Rebecca.

 “That’s me!” Rebecca squealed in delight, jumping to her feet and clapping.

 Y/N knelt down to be level with her, crossing her right arm over her chest in a salute.

 “I vow to protect you from the evils of the kingdom.”

 Suddenly, Phil jumped out of his hiding place.

 “Mwa-ha-ha! I am an evil wizard and I am here to change all the cakes into broccoli!”

 Bucky thought he was laying it on a little thick but there was a wave of horrified gasps from the kids.

 “Not so fast, evil wizard! We will defeat you! Kids, if I’m going to beat him, I’m going to need your help...”

 Y/N and Phil made an amazing pair. While Y/N encouraged the children and even a few of the parents to join in, Phil played off their reactions until he was ‘defeated’.

 “You win! I will change my evil ways and use my powers for good!” he dramatically cried.

 The children all cheered and clapped. The two actors took a bow and started to pack up as Bucky announced it was time for cake. The kids all raced over to where the cake was being brought out.

 “Would you two like to stay for cake?” Bucky offered.

 Phil looked at Y/N for permission, a hopeful glint in his eye.

 “Sure. We have some time before our next appointment,” she smiled. Phil gave a big, childlike grin.

 Once everyone had sung Happy Birthday to Rebecca and she had blown out the candles, the cake was served out. Steve approached Bucky.

 “Hey, man. How are you doing?”

 “A bit tired but seeing the smile on that little girl’s face makes it all worth it,” he softly sighed.

 Steve followed Bucky’s gaze to where Rebecca was talking animatedly to Y/N. He could tell the smile on her face was genuine and not just for show. This was a person who loved their job and loved children.

 “Is that the same Y/N you’ve been going on about all week?”

 “I haven’t been talking about her that much...”

 Steve gave him an incredulous look.

 “You know, it’s okay to like her. Why don’t you ask her out?”

 “What about Rebecca?”

 “Peggy and I can look after her while you go out on date. You deserve to be happy too...”

 Bucky thought about it for a while and headed over to Y/N and Rebecca.

 “Daddy, daddy! Y/N was the mermaid at Morgan’s party! She’s magical...” Rebecca was absolutely smitten with the woman.

 “I see... Can I talk Y/N alone for a minute? Then you can open presents,” he smiled.

 Rebecca giggled and hugged his leg before running off to play with her friends.

 “She’s a darling,” Y/N warmly smiled.

 “She is... Listen, Y/N... I was wondering... if you’re not busy tomorrow night... if maybe you’d like to have dinner with me...”

 “Like a date?”

 Bucky’s face flushed.

 “I mean, if you want it to be...”

 Y/N kissed his cheek.

 “I’d like that. How about 7:00 at the restaurant around the from the Childhood Dreams building. They do an amazing meal...”

 “Sounds perfect,” he smiled.

 This was one the best days of Bucky’s life. Not only did he pull off the perfect party for his daughter but he took a step back into the dating world with an incredible woman who somehow stole his heart.

[quietmyfearswith]

was your favorite ; bucky barnes x fem!reader

status — completed oneshot

word count — 4,152 words

summary — in which bucky barnes still lives with his ex-girlfriend following their break up.

warnings —fluff?? angst?? ex to lovers, sexual innuendo (just one) cursing i think, sad!insecure!bucky

pairing — bucky barnes x fem!reader

a/n — it too has been long since i got to write for bucky???? anyway i’d love to hear feedback :D also if you choose to follow me please have your age/age range stated in your bio.. 

tagging —​ @la-cey​ @pedropcl​  @slutforcevans @iloveshawnieboi

masterlist | series masterlist | join my taglist (please follow the rules)

Buck! Have you seen where my cardigan is?” Y/N was bent down over the dryer as she was ruffling through the pile of clothes she placed on the machine to dry but was too lazy to get it out and fold them. The super soldier being addressed to lifted his head from reading the newspaper to cast a worried glance on the woman, “I don’t know; I just did my laundry and I don’t think any of your clothes got mixed up with mine.”

With a huff she got up from her kneeling position, making her hit her head into the top of the machine, then walked away from their laundry room, groaning and rubbing the part of her head that hit the machine; joining his presence in the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water she pouted as she  thought of where her sweater was. “Why are you looking for the cardigan anyway? And which one is it?”

Biting her bottom lip, she avoided eye contact with his blue eyes as she stammered out, “You know, it was the one you gave me.” Placing the paper down on the breakfast bar, he leaned closer and pouted at her, “I’m hurt, doll; I knew we broke up but I never thought you were petty enough to throw away my gifts.”

Squinting her eyes at him with a mocking pout, “Ha ha, you know it’s that I don’t treasure your gifts, Buck.” Feeling left out from the whole conversation, Alpine jumped up on the countertops and snuggled herself to Y/N’s stomach; letting her fingers scratch the white fur of the needy cat, “Al, can you go tell your dad how exaggerated he’s being?”

Scoffing, he snatched Alpine from his ex girlfriend's arms and covered his cat’s whole face with his metal hand as if shielding her from evil, “Don’t you dare play favorites! Not with my child who was mine first before she was yours.”

“Let’s be honest Buck, she always cuddles up to my side every time we watch a movie,” Y/N jabbed at him before moving to get her bag, slinging it on her shoulder. Bucky’s blue eyes followed her form from when she picked up her purse in the living room and was about to speak until the sound of someone knocking on their door cut them both off. “I’ll get it,” She placed a hand on his pec and tapped it, “I was leaving anyway.”

The super soldier was thankful that she quickly removed her palm from his chest so she wouldn’t hear how fast his chest was beating; despite having broken up a few months ago, he still gets flustered under her touch. “Hey Steve, how are you?” The Captain hugged her as he entered their apartment, “I’m good; you going somewhere?”

Nodding, she moved out of their apartment and waved the two super soldiers goodbye, “I am! Meeting up with some friends today; bye you two!” When she left the flat, Steve smirked at Bucky, “I got to say two more months of you two living together or not getting back together and I’m gonna lose this bet I have with Sam.”

Expertly, Steve dodged the crumpled up facial tissue Bucky threw at him as he scowled, “Why are you here anyway, punk?” Alpine jumped off Bucky’s arms and settled herself on her bed by the television as Bucky began cleaning up his mug and bowl. “Well jerk, I wanted to come over and talk about the mission.”

After placing all the utensils in the sink, Bucky looked at his best friend with a scowl, “What mission? We both don’t go anymore and just train the recruits.” Loving how riled up his best friend was being, the former captain chuckled loudly as he held his hands up since he got caught, “Okay you caught me. I was just bored at the compound and wanted to swing by.”

A soapy hand pointed to the door as the brunette said, “Well you swung by and said hi; now leave.” Planting his bum firm on one of the bar stools instead of leaving, Steve shot a serious glance on his best friend, “I will after I get the truth out of you.”

Childishly, the metal hand sprayed some water on the blonde who yelled out in surprise upon feeling his face dampen with water, “Real mature, Buck!”

“Says the guy who visited my home because he was bored and decided to play investigator on me!”

Laughing at his friend’s antics and frustrated tone, Steve sighed, “Come on, pal, be honest with yourself this time; why is it you and Y/N still live together even after breaking up?” After moving to place the set of cutleries to dry, Bucky was wiping his flesh hand with a towel as he looked at his friend with furrowed eyebrows. When he was met however with a mixture of worry and stern glance, the former Winter Soldier sighed as he relaxed his brows and he planted his palms on the granite top, “Well it’s beneficial for the both of us.”

“How is it beneficial? You guys are ex with benefits?”

“Idiot! Not like that,” Bucky quickly clarified, “Economically benefit, with inflation and capitalism increasing the cost of living, it helps us save big on rent.” Steve had his mouth hung agape in disbelief at the bullshit his best friend was selling on him. “Economically benefit? You both can afford a high luxury penthouse with both your salaries alone,” His arms opened wide as he referred to their current flat, “And you chose to live in this compact two bedroom apartment following your breakup? You’re not fooling me, pal.”

After grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge and handing one to Steve after he opened both, Bucky gulped down the grainy beverage he sighed out loud as he confessed, “Maybe part of me hopes we both can get back together,” He had to shoot Steve a look when the blonde squealed excitedly at his confession, “But we both just somewhat talked about how much of a hassle it is if we both moved out and during that time we just signed a new lease so it made sense at the time.”

“I didn’t need to learn the last part, you could have just said you wished to get back together and that would have made me happy,” Steve explained before drinking down almost half of the bottle. Rolling his eyes, Bucky walked to the living room and settled himself on the couch — Alpine too followed him and settled herself on his lap, her distinct way of seeking attention — as he stroked her fur and replied, “Well good thing I didn’t really ask for what you wanted, no? Hold on, what are you really here for, by the way?”

Taking the loveseat that was adjacent from where Bucky was sitting, Steve plopped down as he grabbed the remote off their coffee table and turned the television on, “Did you forget that I was coming over to watch the game?”

“And you couldn’t watch it on your own at your living quarter which is bigger and even has the latest television model?”

Steve threw his head back in laughter at his friend’s remark, “Well I could; but the thing is if I didn’t you would probably be grinching your life away,” He tipped his bottle to Alpine who was sprawled over his lap as his metal fingers were delicately scratching her belly, “By the looks of it, you’ve already achieved step one of being a grinch.”

His flesh hand grabbed for one of the throw pillows that Y/N bought first when they moved into this apartment and successfully struck his friend’s head, “Apologize to Alpine this instant!”

A scoff plus an offended look was Steve’s reaction before turning his head back to the game, “Dick! You knew I was kidding! Is this how you are with Y/N, hm? No wonder she broke up with you.”

It was a sensitive topic that Bucky never fully disclosed with any of the friends; somehow he felt that what happened between the two of them should stay with them. And there were many instances where Bucky wanted to tell someone what happened just so he knew how to reconcile with her — but somehow there was always a reason that prevented him from doing so.

“Punk, how would you go about asking your ex to get back together?” His question had the former Captain America smiling; even though his entire face was focused on the game on the screen, the pending conversation had his attention far more than the actual sport. “Well I don’t know, it would depend on how I broke up with that ex.”

Bucky knew what he was doing — he was fishing for more information regarding how things went down. And maybe he does actually have a suggestion. Without going into much detail, he answered, “The breakup seemed mutual and beneficial at first but as time went on it seems to not be the case anymore.”

“What kind of riddle is that, Shakespeare?!”

Somewhat pleased with his confused state, he chuckled, “That’s all the details you’re going to get about my breakup with Y/N,” Part of Bucky was offended with how his Steve let out a disappointed grunt but continued on, “Right now, what’s more important is I get back with her.”

It had been almost an hour and yet the only sounds that could be heard were the announcers detailing the game and the cheers coming from the stadium as the two centenarians thought about how to go about Bucky’s current dilemma. Until Steve broke the silence as he placed his empty beer bottle by the leg of the coffee table, “Why not just be honest and tell her you want to get back with her?”

“It’s not that easy,” Came his quick response; too quick, Steve suspected. Turning slightly to face him, he saw how Alpine now had Bucky’s attention as he baited his metal finger to the feline who was trying her best to bite on it, “It won’t be that easy, at least I think it won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I messed up,” He confessed quietly as he pursed his lips as he recalled how that night went.

“Bubba, did you happen to get the chocolate I asked to buy?” She asked after ruffling through all their cabinets twice, pouting as she failed to see the sweet she has been craving for. He was cleaning the litter box that was in their bathroom so his voice was faint but she heard it loud and clear, “I forgot to, bub; sorry ‘bout that!”

With a sigh, she closed the cabinet door and instead grabbed a glass of water before walking to the dining table, “It’s okay! I’ll just get some tomorrow or some other time.”

As he was washing his hands, he caught a faint glance of her disappointed frown on the mirror. For a few moments, he racked his brain for the other times wherein he saw her frown due to something he’s done. There were far too many instances that came into mind; Bucky didn’t like that at all.

Despite just drying off his hands with a hand towel, he could feel his flesh hand dampen with sweat as he approached her on the dining table and sit at the chair opposite from where she was — something that she noticed, tearing her eyes away from her laptop, making her feel that something was wrong, “You okay, Buck?”

“I think we need to break up,” Came his immediate answer as he stared at her eyes that showed sadness and grief. “What?” Was all that she could choke out as she pushed her laptop to the side so she could direct his attention to him fully.

“I think we need to break up,” He repeated, his voice sounded stronger and more determined than when he said it earlier; but it was just a front for his insecurities and doubts, “It’s something that we both saw coming, but we’re in denial of its approach.”

Tears were now freely falling out of her eyes as she struggled to get out a coherent response, “But Bucky, we can work it out. What is it? Where did I go wrong?” She was to add some more questions but she was stopped by her hiccups.

Both hands grasped hers and rubbed her knuckles soothingly to calm her down, “I’m sorry Y/N, but this is just for the best for the both of us. It’s better we part our ways now rather than later when my ivy has fully engulfed your brick walls that you have put up.”

Snatching her hands from his hold, she crossed her arms, “Don’t feed me that bullshit, Buck. tell me the real reason why you want us to split.” Gone was her earlier tone of sorrow and was now replaced with shaky strength.

When he just looked at her blankly silently, Y/N just bit her lip as she grabbed for her laptop as she scrolled for a certain email; and when she found it, she showed the screen to her now ex boyfriend, “Guess it was a wrong time to sign for a year-long lease huh?”

“We can still live together for the time being,” His immediate answer surprised the two of them and he decided to cover it up by explaining, “We don’t want to pay an additional fee for infringing the contract. Plus that saves us a whole lot of money for when we move out of here.”

Her mind was foggy with sadness which prevented her from thinking logically so she found herself nodding, “Okay, that makes sense.” She took her laptop from his look and began to search for a new bed frame and mattress. “I’ll move to the spare bedroom and get my things later on.”

Following her drying of tears, she now had a determined pout on her face as she began to scout new items for her bedroom, Bucky came to realize the weight of what he had just done. At the expense of her broken and devastated state, he spared his insecurities and doubts. But he didn’t feel even an ounce of relief, instead he just felt miserable seeing her become so detached from him; it’s your fault, you idiot, he scolded himself.

“Oh, okay. I’m just gonna lay down for a while,” She merely nodded when he stood from the his seat and grabbed Alpine that was on his playing with his toes; as he laid his back on the soft mattress were they both spent time and created some of their best memories, he couldn’t help cuddle the feline closer to him as he now looked back on those memories wistfully, “Looks like you’re gonna be my cuddle buddy from now on, Al.”

“Idiot!” Steve yelled after hearing the story and throwing the pillow back to Bucky with the cushion that was thrown to him earlier, “Let’s unpack what you did wrong here; one, you broke up with her because of your insecurities instead of working on it yourself or with her.”

Bucky had a deep scowl on his face and was about to rebut until Steve held a hand up to let him know he was not yet done listing things, “Two, you didn’t even really give her the option on whether she wanted to break up or what. And lastly, you decided to still live together despite splitting under the guise of not paying more due to infringing the lease and moving out, but you guys have two months left before you have to renew or end your contract! What the hell’s your plan after?”

When Steve said it like that, it did look even worse than it initially was. The former assassin could only groan out loud as he removed his hands from stroking Al’s whie fur and instead covered his face in shame, “I know! I was dumb, and still am! I just want Y/N back, okay?”

Steve silently chuckled as he took in his friend’s whine and Y/N’s stunned look as she had just arrived from going out. Noticing the lack of white fur ball on his lap, he removed his hands from shielding his face as he looked at Steve, and was puzzled when the blonde was smirking but did not have the cat.

“Where?” The question died on his throat as he heard her soft mewl and looked to his right to see Y/N cuddling Alpine in her arms, “Hi, I just got home.” The blank expression she had made it difficult for the two super soldiers to read her; Steve however knew that the two needed privacy in order to talk.

“Well I’m heading out,” The former Captain America stood up and patted his best friend’s shoulder as a way of saying goodbye and good luck, “See you both soon.” He kissed Y/N’s forehead goodbye and left the former lovers.”

“Do you want to talk about what I just heard you say or do you want me to forget about it, Buck?”

Being with her for nearly three years he knew that once her interest was piqued, it would be difficult for her to lose her interest in it as she would do anything to feed her curiosity. “What would you rather do?”

This was new, for the previous times they had confrontation he had decided for her; and to be able to choose for herself — and possibly for the both of them. “I’d like to talk about it; if it’s fine with you of course.”  

He gestured for her to take the seat beside her — which she gladly took after placing her bag on the dining table and carrying Alpine with her. “I heard you saying you wanted me back — is there any truth to that?”

“Yes, there is,” He sounded a mixture of confident and desperate; but he didn’t care as he just wanted her back, “I want you back and it was a mistake on my part to let you go.”

“But why did you let me go?”

“Because I was an insecure, self-doubting coward. Do you remember the day when I broke up with you?” She nodded her head as she scoffed, “Obviously, I do.” Her sass had him chuckling, lightening up the mood a little. “Well that day, I saw the look of disappointment on your face when I failed to get you chocolate. I thought that if I can mess this small thing up, what more when it comes to more important things — like an anniversary, a mortgage payment, important events, and things like that.”

Her hands reached out for his and gently kissed the knuckles to calm him down as he was now breathing heavily as he continued to open up to her, “I always knew deep down in me that you deserved to be with someone as great as you; and believe me everyday I tried to be that person. But slowly I saw not only how I wasn’t living up to be the person you deserve, but somehow I just wasn’t making you happy any more.”

Despite letting out what he had been bottling up, Bucky felt both heavier and lighter; lighter because now he had told her the real reason as to why they fell out and what has been haunting his mind for months now. But the fact that she now had a say on what goes on between them made him even more anxious compared to how he would be when going on dangerous missions.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through this battle alone, bubba,” Her statement coupled with her use of their pet name for each other had his heart twisting in a good way, “I wished you had reached out to me so that we both could work through this.”

“You’re not mad? Or disappointed? Or disgusted with me?”

She shook her head as she once again placed a loving kiss on his knuckles, “Why would I do so? You were dealing with anxieties and doubts, I can’t exactly blame you for those can I?” He shrugged his shoulders as he avoided looking her in the eyes, “But still,” Came his weak reply.

Clicking her tongue, she wrapped her arms around him, bringing his head to her chest so she could cuddle and comfort him as they were somewhat laying down on the couch, “Next time you got something going in your head, you talk to me, okay?”

He nodded against her chest and he couldn’t hold back the soft whine of happiness when she kissed his forehead, “I meant what I said, that I want you back.”

“Are you sure that’s what you really want?” She stiffened against his hold; Bucky stood up from where laid comfortably and took her with him, looking her straight in the eye with passion, “It is, bubba. I swear.”

“I don’t know, Buck,” She replied weakly and avoided looking him in the eye, “Maybe this is just your way of easing your guilt and making amends with your past talking. You don’t have to lie, not to me.”

“It’s not, I promise,” He placed his hands on her waist, grabbing her to situate her on his lap, “I love you and I never stopped, nor will I ever. You are someone I can never get sick of — I will always want to be with you, no matter if we do something fun and exciting or something mundane and domestic. I want all of you and want to share my life with you.”

“But what happens when you get those thoughts again? Will you leave me hanging again?”

Hating how small and meek her voice was, he shook his head as he kissed the tip of her nose, “I won’t. Like you said, I’ll work on it alone and with you. I love you, bubba.” She could see no sign of lies or deceit in his eyes and loved what she was hearing — he was a man of his word and knew that he wouldn’t boldly claim such a thing if he had no plans of following through with it.

“I can give you time to think about it if you’d like,” The proposition left his tongue as she suddenly kissed his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him even more closer. He smiled into the kiss as he rubbed her back soothingly, missing the heat that radiated off her skin.

“No time needed to think about it, bub,” She breathed out after pulling away from the kiss, her lips still against his, “I want you back too.”

“I hope you’d still want me back even after my final confession.”

She pulled away from him completely so she could take in his nervous smirk, “What final confession?”

Scratching the back of his neck nervously, he disclosed, “I took the cardigan from the dryer.” She laughed at his silly confession before asking, “Why’d you do it, bubba? It smelt like you and I dressed it up on one of my pillows because I missed you.”

Slapping her hand to his pec, she pretended to be upset before laying her head on his chest, “Well I hope it made your lonely nights better! I had an important reason to wear that today.”

“Oh? And what could that be, missy?” He tickled her sides to get her to speak; after a fit full of laughters she did, “Well I was going out with Rachel and she decided to bring along her friend in hopes of setting me up with them.” By wearing the cardigan, Y/N knew that the person Rachel invited over would be less persistent to pursue since the words “James Buchanan Barnes’ property” were sewn on a patch on the clothing article — a gift Bucky gave her when they passed the one year mark of their relationship.

“So you were cheating on me!” He jokingly accused her to which she pinched his ears as she reminded him, “Excuse you! I was being set up with someone before we got back together — it’s not cheating you know!”

He too laughed at their whole debacle before he stroked her cheek with the flesh hand saying, “I missed you so much, bubba.”  She was about to share the same sentiments before they got interrupted by a needy cat who placed herself in between Bucky and Y/N.

“I think Al missed being in the middle of our cuddle sessions too, bubba,” She noted as the cat purred when she and Bucky were scratching the space in between her ears.

With a large grin on his face, he tickled Alpine as he kissed Y/N fervently on the lips, “Look Al, we’re one, happy, and complete family again.”

[anthonyed]

stevetony + no. 99 (“I fell in love with you, not them.”)? only if you want to, of course. no pressure! :)

ive said this before: i LOVED writing this. hopefully you like cats ♡

-//-

Tony says it started like this: 

One afternoon, Tony barged into Pepper’s office because he conveniently forgot how to knock and caught her rolling a miniature lint roller up her suit sleeve. 

She startled with her high pitched, “Oh my god, Tony!” But, Tony was too fascinated by the lint roller that he kept advancing with a singular focus.

“What is that?”

Pepper bristled, “It’s a lint roller. Why are you here? I told you I don’t want to see you for at least four hours.”

Oh. Right. She was still upset about something Tony did during the board meeting. Menial stuff, unimportant, anyway -

“I know what it is, what I meant is, why are you using that in here?”

At this point, he’s close enough to catch the very fine blonde hair stuck on the roller. “Are you trying to bury the evidence of your boyfriend, Miss Potts? Because while that is very thoughtful, I have a feeling he’d be -,”

“It’s not a boyfriend,” Pepper rolled her eyes. “With you as my boss I don’t have such time -,”

Tony on the other hand, while Pepper was talking, snagged the roller from her hand, “This is - This is not - Ah CHO!”

Pepper winced. 

Tony’s jaw dropped. 

“Miss Potts,” he asked, deadly calm. “I thought you read and signed all the clauses when you agreed to be my personal assistant.”

“I did, Mr Stark.” Pepper's lips thinned.

Tony dropped the roller on her table; the miniature thing completing two circles before stopping in front of her.

“Then why are there cat hair all over you?”

-

Despite what Tony likes to think, according to Pepper it started like this:

"Who is that?" Tony asked, low whisper, eyes like hawk fixed on the blonde man with a pink cap - 

"Oh!" Pepper exclaimed, leaning sideways and waving to catch the guy's attention. "That would be my lunch."

From the cat cafe, Pepper didn't say. Instead, she hurried out of the room to meet the delivery staff before he could enter; didn't want to risk putting the man responsible for her paycheck in close contact with the one thing he's allergic to: cats' fur. 

Now, Pepper doesn't know exactly what Tony thought that day, but when she reentered the room after shoving a 20 dollars bill into the guy's hand, she found Tony to be in some kind of… stupor. 

She stopped where she stepped in. The door closed behind her and she asked, "Tony?"

Tony startled. "Is that your boyfriend?"

"What? No!"

"Is he single?"

"Tony -,"

"Who is he?"

Pepper paused. Then she promptly decided to play hard - because secretly she is a menace and Tony is right. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Fast forward the next day; she saw Happy exiting her beloved cat cafe and entering the limo he drives to drop Tony off at work.

She didn't even hesitate; she pulled open the passenger door and slid into the empty seat.

"Fancy seeing you here," she cocked her head, smiling syrupy sweet. 

Tony Stark stared wide eyed, like he'd been caught red-handed with a cookie jar.  

"Ah HAH!" Pepper pointed at him. 

No matter how much Tony denied: "It is not what you think it is!", don't believe him. 

It was exactly what it was. In fact, that was how it started.

-

But Steve never talked to Pepper as much as he talked to Tony. So he obviously thought what Tony claims is right.

That the reason the wildly famous Tony Stark started frequenting Bucky's cat cafe is because he loves cats, and the moment he learned his PA had been hiding this cafe’s existence from him, he bribed her with fancy shoes to get the address. 

Happy would say, bullshit. 

But as it is, Happy works for Tony and Tony bribes him with a free sandwich of the day every time they visit the cafe to keep his trap shut. 

(What can Happy do in the face of excellent sandwiches and delicious Caramel Macchiato? They do say it’s hard to get the caramel swirls on top of the whipped cream right, and whoever makes his drink does it perfectly each time. So at least for the love of that talent, Happy keeps his mouth shut.)

So, when Bucky taps the caramel bottle on the counter and grumbles, “Are you gonna ever ask him out?” - Steve blushes the deepest shade of pink and pries his eyes away from Tony.

“Why would I ever do that?” He busies himself with… nothing.

“Uh, I don’t know Stevie, maybe the fact that he keeps coming back here asking for this vile shit," he pauses to press the cap delicately over the large Caramel Macchiato. "Or that he’s giving you pathetic googly eyes all the time?” 

Bucky glares at Steve then he directs that glare at the drink he loathes making the most with all the venom in the world. 

“Wherever he’s putting this cursed thing into," he shoves it at Steve. “Here. Go call for your knight in… whatever the fuck he’s wearing.”

Steve turns to look at where Tony’s sitting; in the far left corner in the back of the cafe; in his pinstripe suit and daisy dotted tie paired with white, also daisy dotted, sneakers and a pair of orange-tinted glasses. 

Alpine - Bucky's white Turkish Angora - sits pristinely on the table in front of Tony looking like she’s giving him a lecture on something - like father, like daughter - while Tony stares right back at her challengingly. 

Liho, who’s Natasha’s favourite kitten (no matter how fervently Natasha denies having a favourite at all) is lounging next to Tony, tail draped lazily over his lap. Mrs Berry in all her tortoiseshell glory, is licking her butt on Tony’s left. Grey Mr Goose is sniffing Tony’s shoes and rubbing up his shin. 

Behind the cash-counter, Steve sighs like the hopeless man he is. Bucky’s bemused gaze bores into him steadily.

Steve bristles, “I don’t see what’s wrong with what he’s wearing.” Because as much as Bucky’s wrong about Tony being interested in Steve in any way, he is right in assuming that Steve is. 

As a matter of fact, he’s balancing precariously between sanity and lovesick insanity and with every visit from Tony, he’s tipping dangerously towards the latter. Fantastic.

“Idiot,” Bucky snorts, turning to the kitchen. "At least ask him to change the fucking order. For fucks’ sake.”

Which leaves Steve alone with Tony, since it’s 8.30pm on a Tuesday and the cafe would never see a slower business hour than that.

Heaving out a heavy sigh, Steve puts the drink on a tray and checks his reflection on the microwave’s shiny surface - courtesy of Phil, their clean-freak coworker - before he moves.

It’s both scary and amazing how each time he makes his way to Tony, his heart would pitter patter and trip in its running behind his ribcage. So is the way he’d inhale sharply, lashes fluttering when they lock eyes and Tony smiles and -

Steve could just die right then and there. 

-

The first time Steve talked to Tony; he vividly remembers it being a horrible day. 

Everything had gone wrong from when the alarm went off that morning - A series of misfortunate events, and he’d just bribed Clint with a promise of dinner from his wallet in exchange for his extra shirt because an idiot on the freeway had driven through a puddle of rainwater soaking Steve dirty and wet. 

Then, he’d stepped behind the cash counter for his turn at taking orders when a rich-looking asshole in a gaudy get up started yanking on Steve’s already frayed nerves. The man, with his stupid beard and flashy glasses rattled off what he’d probably thought an impossible order.

But Bucky was the barista for that hour and Steve had never come across an order Buck couldn’t whip up till this day. Right then though, he was calmly speckling cocoa dust on a mocha, letting Steve face their new customer who had evidently walked in to test their capability. 

Unfortunately for all parties involved, it was just not Steve’s day.

“Do you want anything else?” He’d asked, after dotting pointedly on the cup. 

Tony had leered at him, saying: “Maybe a little smile for the service,” and Steve fucking snapped.

“I’m sorry. But we don’t serve that for assholes.”

He could see Bucky freeze next to him. Tony, on the other hand, looked fully offended. “Excuse me?” he started, peering above his purple glasses, gearing up for a fight and Steve wasn’t going to back down either - putting the empty cup aside as he inhaled and squared up his shoulders. 

But Bucky broke it off before it could even begin.

“Rogers, go make sure Barton is not ruining my sourdough,” he spoke up, flat toned, and he squeezed Steve’s arm warningly before offering his best smile to Tony. “I’m sorry, sir. We just ran out of cardamom so if you don’t mind excluding that from your order, I could whip it up for you just fine.”

The sudden professionalism was so jarring for both men that they each stuttered out an affirmative response and that was that.

Steve went into the kitchen, finished his shift, put an end to his awful day and he forgot all about the asshole customer. Until a week after when he returned.

-

“One caramel macchiato with perfected caramel swirl for Happy Hogan,” Steve places the tray in front of Tony. 

Alpine hops down and leaves, bringing her gang with. Tony’s eyes trail after the number of swishing tails, as well as Steve’s. 

“They really do like you,” Steve tells him, turning back to Tony with a teasing glint in his eyes; cheeks straining hard to keep a happy smile inside. "Nobody gets that much attention all at once."

Tony snorts, leaning forward in his seat, and he looks up from the rim of his glasses. "Pretty sure it's an intimidation tactic," he squints his eyes at Steve.

"Whatever for," Steve chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck and he looks down at his feet before looking up at Tony. “Are you gonna stay here longer? I was wondering if I should make yours to go or to have here.”

“Oh,” Tony glances at the tray, “So that’s why my drink is not here then,” he grins at Steve.

“You didn’t even notice.”

“Too busy noticing you.”

Steve blinks, “What’s that?”

“To have here,” Tony declares loudly, his eyes flicker as if they’re hiding something, and his next words come out softer, “If you don’t mind having me here for long, that is.”

Steve’s pretty sure he’s blushing; at least his ears must be the shade of tomatoes in the Spring. At least. “No. I - Of course not.” Could have said, stay forever please but luckily for Steve even his self-deprecating tendency has mercy on him. “Shall we?” He signals.

Tony’s eyes go wide as a saucer. “You’re letting me watch you make it?” And there’s excitement in there, Steve could taste it, even if Tony is trying so hard to keep it contained.

“I mean, we’re not busy now,” he shrugs and the doorbell dings, seeing the only couple who was there out. “And we’re closing in fifteen minutes so…” Steve turns back to Tony, mouth stretching slowly into a smile, eyes twinkling and he could see Tony’s face wearing his reflection as he stands up. 

“Lead the way, fine Sir.” 

-

Changing opinions is not an easy thing to do; especially those cemented so strongly from first impressions.

Seeing Tony the second time immediately made Steve’s spine tense up. But he’s been on this job for a very long time and he knows how to keep feelings away from his profession. He looks Tony straight in the eyes and beamed at him like sunshine.

“Hello! Welcome to Purricano, what would you like to have today?”

Steve distinctly remembers Tony’s eyes going saucer shape wide that day; two rapid blinks and a slack jaw which required Steve’s arched eyebrows to work. (If you ask Tony, of course he’s going to deny that.)

“You’re smiling today,” he squinted. “Why are you smiling? Do I have something on my face?” His eyes flashed towards the nearest reflective surface and Steve swallowed a bubbling laugh. 

“Except for your fashionable pink sunglasses, I assure you, there is nothing on your face, Mister,” (and your stupid goatee), Steve kept smiling creepily. 

Tony’s eyes grew narrower, and he glanced over his shoulder once - making sure no one else was waiting in line - before leaning close to the counter. He beckoned at Steve with one elegant finger, and he hushed, “Do you really think it’s fashionable?”

And the first bubble of laughter escaped out of Steve’s chest that day.

Never stopped ever since.

-

Tony makes him happy. There’s no denying in that. 

It’s probably why Bucky keeps pestering Steve to ask him out; because it’s been years since Steve last laughed. Genuinely, and this loud.

“Oh god,” he clutches his stomach, wiping tears from his eyes. 

The horrible latte art Tony attempted stares back with ugly googly eyes when he looks down and he bursts into another fit of laughter. 

He could feel one of the felines’ tail curling around his ankle curiously, and a pair of large green eyes peer up at him longingly with an accompanying pitiful meow.

“Not,” Steve tells her. 

None of the cats are allowed on the counter; even Alpine doesn’t get the pass. But she likes to try the most out of them all. The rest are already settled for bedtime, and Steve briefly thanks his quick wit to flip the sign close on the front door before he starts showing Tony around.

He turns to him with aching cheeks, tingling skin but the remnant of his grin dies when he sees Tony’s face. Something else takes residence in his belly instead; wings flapping neurotically, lifting to fly away.

“What?” he asks, lashes fluttering, breath sticking like glue on the lining of his throat. Because Tony looks dazed, like he’d just witnessed something divine but got no vocabulary enough to describe what was that.

He shakes his head, inhale sounding sharp, and he tries to bury his words under a chuckle but Steve hears him this time. “You’re beautiful.”

Loud like a Church’s bell, echoing even after and Steve’s heart stutters in his chest. Hope, blossoms like Queen of the Night; rapid and shy. Would die with a single ‘no’ from Tony, would probably never bloom again after this, but the hope is heavy as well as pretty; pushes Steve to ask Tony, “Did you mean that?”

Tony’s eyes snap up and Steve could see the same hope growing in them. “Are you kidding me?” he asks, voice high with a nervous tremor and it comes out like a breathy bark. His shoulders come loose, all limbs as well, and he reaches out for Steve before he stops himself. 

Can I? His eyes ask, and Steve takes a step forward. Of course; his gesture screams. Of course, you can.

Tony's hand touches his cheek and Steve thinks maybe this Queen of the night would live to see daylights. 

He shudders, full body. Closes his eyes tight and wills those butterflies in his belly to calm down. He smells Tony before he hears him; spice and a spilled can of cinnamon from just now. "Shh," Tony tells him. "Shh," and Steve sighs into his palm. 

His thumb drags a stripe under his eye, and Tony says, "God, Steve… Can't you see how bad I want you?"

The truth is no. Steve didn't see it. He shakes his head.

"Why'd you think I keep coming back," Tony asks, so close now that Steve swears he could hear the rumble in his chest even if their bodies are not touching. Yet. 

Feeling somewhat more grounded, he guesses, "For the cats?"

And Tony laughs. 

Not just a little but a full hearty laugh that makes him wheeze. 

"Oh no," he splutters, trying to gather himself apiece while Steve's surprise slowly shifts into a scowl. 

"No, no, no," he chants, reaching for Steve again, catching his face with two hands, cupping and Tony's so bright with joy when he presses their foreheads together. 

"Steve, Steve, Steven," he breathes. "Honey, I can’t go near a cat without popping twenty antihistamines."

"I'm allergic to them."

"What?" Steve pulls back. More shocked than surprise now. "But -,"

"It's you," Tony cuts him off, pulling him back by his hips, and he butts his head into Steve’s breastbone. Buries his next words in there; "I fell in love with you, Rogers. Not them.”

And he sounds almost whiny but Steve can see now, why; can’t believe Tony’s been inhaling allergy medications to see Steve - 

“Jesus Christ.” A little frustration seeps into Steve’s own voice as he buries his fingers into Tony’s hair. “I can’t believe you’re allergic to cats.”

A betrayed meow sounded from below and both of them look down to find Liho, gazing expectantly at Tony. “Meow,” she says again. 

“Think you got some explaining to do,” Steve smirks, looking at Tony. As if on cue, Tony sneezes so hard that Liho jumps a foot in the air before scrambling away in fear. 

“Oh uh,” he cups his mouth and nose, blinking at Steve, lost.

And Steve knows it’s bad to laugh, but he couldn’t help it. At least he saves himself with a smooth invite when he’d calmed down. “Wanna wait outside? Let me close the shop and we’ll…”

“Dinner?”

“Definitely.”

“Great!” Tony grins at him so prettily and Steve, with his heart fluttering in its cage, leans in and kisses him sweet. 

[navegandoaciegas]

the love you deserve II

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (fem!reader)

Word Count: almost 3k, ops

Summary: “He’s Bucky Barnes, Captain America’s best friend. He was the guy at the Triskelion, they say he’s the one who killed JFK.”

It can’t be real. Your Jaime visits and plays with lonely, sickly kids in hospitals because he remembers what it was like growing up with his asthmatic, diabetic friend Steve. Whoever this Bucky guy is, he’s not your Jaime, your Jaime could never harm a fly. Your Jaime is good, he’s compassionate. Surely your friend must be wrong.

Warnings: soft!bucky, hurt!reader, angst, fluff, lying, cheating, drug use, alcohol consumption (including mentions of underage drinking), language that Steve Rogers wouldn’t approve of.

A/N: AU where Civil War and Thanos never happen, Tony forgives Bucky and he retires. This is my very first attempt at writing in English, I’m not a native speaker, so forgive me for any mistakes :)

This is part 2, please comment and reblog and let me know what you think of it :) feedback is always appreciated! I plan on writing at least another part, maybe two.

What do you think of the reader?

Part 1

The day before

Las Vegas, Nevada

Vegas is hot and dry as hell. It’s also a lot of fun, so the movies did not lie about that at least. They did exaggerate how fun the casinos would be tho.

You’re at a pool party, sipping on a drink, silently judging the moves of the sweaty people who are dancing around you.

You just got off a facetime call with Jaime, and god you miss him and Alpine too, but life is good and you’re the happiest you’ve ever been, your best friend is getting married to the man she loves and you’re having the time of your life with your girlfriends.

“So, you’re not having cold feet, are you?” you hear Hannah question Jade.

They’re basking in the sun around you.

Jade hesitates as she douses herself in sunblock.

“I gotta say I’m kind of scared but I’ve been dreaming about this for three years, so no? I guess. I don’t know. I love him.”

“That didn’t answer the question.” you observe.

“Are you sure you’re ready to commit to one dick only for the rest of your life?” Raven asks, and you all laugh and roll your eyes playfully.

Ever the commitaphobe, just like you. Well, like you used to be before you met Jaime.

You hate rush hour after work, you hate it so much in fact that you’d rather go to your work’s gym and workout even though you’re exhausted than catch a packed train.

By the time you get to the station most people are home already.

He’s here today.

You’ve seen him quite a lot in the past few weeks. The first thing you noticed about him is the way he seems to fold in on himself, his hunched shoulders and lowered head.

His bad posture aggravates you beyond reason, and you just wish you could go there and straighten his back without looking like a weirdo. But you can’t, so you just admire from afar like the good creep you are.

He’s always wearing a baseball cap over luscious but questionably greasy hair, huge winter jackets and leather gloves; still, underneath all that it’s clear he’s handsome. You always had a thing for men built like brick houses.

Today is the day, you think, today is the day I finally strike a conversation with the guy, it’s now or never.

Truth is, the loneliness he exudes breaks your heart and the way people avoid him like he’s got the plague enrages you for no particular reason. Somehow the ever indifferent New Yorkers would rather stand on a moving train than sit next to him, and that something about that that irks you way too much.

You really don’t understand why. Sure he’s intimidating, he’s a huge man, but he’s quiet and calm and he smiles softly when he spots a dog on the train. He gets off at same stop you do and no matter how isolate the station and the streets are by the time you get home, even if you two are the only ones there, you’ve never felt uneasy.

So you go and sit next to him, you smile when he looks up in surprise and you say hi.

He stutters an ‘evening ma’am’ and you’re proud of yourself because you’ve got it in you to made the big scary guy blush like a schoolgirl.

“Not to be a creep or anything but I’ve seen you around quite a lot, we commute together almost every day.” You chuckle and you introduce yourself.

“I uhm-” he’s cute when he furrows his brows “ I’m Jame- Jaime. I’m Jaime.”

You smile at the memory.

Jaime turned out to be a lot less shy than anticipated. He was a stuttering mess on the first few dates but the more you got to know him, the more he opened up to show his true sarcastic, snarky nature, whilst still being a gentle giant and an absolute sweetheart.

He’s thoughtful, cocky and sweet at the same time. He makes you melt in a puddle whenever he snuggles Alpine on the inside of his jacket, and the rumble of his voice is enough to make your brain short circuit and your panties dampen.

“There goes that look again, you’re such a love sick fool.”

“Oh God, you should see her when she’s with her precious Jaime, they literally have heart eyes, they’re so cute together it makes me sick to my stomach.”

You laugh and shake your head at Raven’s and Jade’s teasing.

“Hey, it’s not that bad, you should have seen yourself the day you met Matt, bitch, you looked like you’d never seen a man before. I ain’t forget.” you retort.

Hannah laughs and adds “When are we going to meet mystery man? It’s not fair that Jade only to got to see him. And word on the streets is that he’s real pretty.”

“When you three learn how to behave. But I can show you a picture, just please don’t be weird about it.” you finally relent after five months of avoiding the topic.

“He’s very, very hot ladies.” Jade quips.

You send her a side glance (goodnaturedly of course) and show them how pretty your sweet boy is.

Raven’s jaw goes slack as she clutches your phone and gawks at the picture.

“Lucky bastard, he’s literally the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, where did you find him and how did you convince him to be with you of all people?”

You laugh at Raven’s blunt remarks. They playful banter between the two of you has been going on since freshman year of college.

“Now I get why you have that dumb love struck face on you at all times.” Hannah adds.

Grace tho, she’s unusually quiet, and she stares at him with a scowl on her face. Her eyes travel slowly from your phone to your face, and the anticipation to know the reason why is killing you.

“Uhm, you’re dating him? And you said his name is Jaime?” she hesitates.

Whatever is going to come out of her mouth, you already know you’re not going to like it.

“Look, maybe I’m wrong and I’m mistaking him for someone else but I’m pretty positive I’m right and, ah” Another pause, you’re about to faint. “There’s no way to break it down to you in a way that won’t hurt but” she sighs “he’s lying to you.”

Ice fills your veins. You can feel dread crawling up your spine.

Is he someone else’s boyfriend? Are you the other woman or is he cheating on you? Is he a professional scammer?

“What the hell are you talking about Gracie?” Jade almost shouts, and you’re one heartbeat away from fainting.

Grace looks at you with all the pity in the world and you want nothing more than to erase that expression from her face.

“He’s Bucky Barnes, Captain America’s best friend. He was the guy at the Triskelion, they say he’s the one who killed JFK.”

The world around you stops spinning for a second as the ring in your ears get louder. You just wish the ground could open up and swallow you whole.

All of a sudden you start laughing hysterically like she’s told the funniest joke you’ve ever heard, you laugh so ugly that a few heads turn in your direction and give you funny looks, so loud that your friends are startled and even more worried.

Jaime, your sweet baby boy who adopted a three legged blind cat no one else at the shelter wanted to save him from being euthanized.

Jaime who volunteers at the VA with his pal Sam to help war vets reintegrate in society after they get back home, because he knows what it’s like to have your life turned around, to find yourself with no commands to obey all of a sudden and more trauma than you know what to do with. He knows what it is like to know no peace, to sleep a couple hours a week until you’re hallucinating so bad you’re begging the universe to just end your suffering.

It can’t be real. Your Jaime visits and plays with lonely, sickly kids in hospitals because he remembers what it was like growing up with his asthmatic, diabetic friend Steve.

Whoever this Bucky guy is, he’s not your Jaime, your Jaime could never harm a fly.

Your Jaime is good, he’s compassionate. Surely your friend must be wrong.

He goes grocery shopping for the elderly couple next door whose kids never visit, because they are too weak, too sick, too tired to leave the house.

“I’m sorry sweetie, it’s not your fault, you couldn’t have know.”

Grace hands you a phone, open on his Wikipedia page.

Jaime’s sky-blue eyes stare back at you.

You really let him play a number on you, didn’t you?

You feel a hot surge of blinding anger and you want to tear the world apart, you want to take Jaime- no, not Jaime, James and bitch slap him in the face so damn hard you convey the humiliation you’re feeling right now, knowing that the man you love and thought you knew lied to your face for five fucking months.

Did he ever consider coming clean, revealing his true identity?

Was he ever planning on telling you? Or would he move in with you, wake up and go to bed with you every day feeding you lies upon lies?

Would you end up married to a man that doesn’t exist and have kids with a ghost?

Grow old with a guy who said he was 33 but is actually 99?

Would he never get undressed in front of you? How was he planning on hiding is metal arm? Surely one day you’d be intimate and you would see it? The whole “I want to wait cause I’m old fashioned like that” would eventually need to stop.

Or maybe it wasn’t a serious relationship at all for him, not in the way it was for you. Not in the way you wanted to spend the rest of your days loving him and making him the happiest man alive. Not in the way you were ready to commit to him, body and soul, for all eternity.

Now the endearing terms he used to call you, his babydoll, his little doll, they taste bitter on your tongue.

A doll, literally. A little toy to play with and toss aside once he got bored of his little game.

Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I have to find out like this?

It reminds you of that time in your junior year of college, you were dating this guy back then, and you liked him, he was fun, the sex was good, he supported you in your endless hours of cheer practice.

One day he told you he was sick and couldn’t make it to your afternoon study date. That same night you ran into him at a frat party with his friends. Wasn’t so sick after all.

You broke up on the spot, shed a few tears while your teammates held you and moved on with your life with your head held high, because that’s what you’ve been doing all your life no matter how many curveballs the universe throws your way.

You vividly recall what hurt the most: the feeling of being lied to and toyed with. The hot humiliation that burns your cheeks and makes your eyes water when you realized you have yet again misplaced your trust. The inevitable question that plague you for days on end: what else did he lie about? How could I be so damn stupid?

His name was Tommy, and sometimes in the following years your first instinct when a man told you anything was to obsess over whether they were being honest or not. Until Jaime, that is, you trusted Jaime with your life, you would never question him, and look where that got you.

You’re aware you’re overthinking and maybe overreacting at this point, and that wailing in your own misery while your girlfriends are out having fun in a club is doing you no good, nor is it changing your current predicament. But you never listen to the voice of reason, and you won’t start today.

The room feels too hot and too cold at the same time.

You’re sweating but your body is shaking. You’re breathing but the air you inhale won’t reach your lungs. You’re blinking your eyes frantically but you only see darkness. You hear your own heart beat out of your chest.

It seems like the room you’re in is closing down on you and there’s no space left, you’re being crushed by those walls around you, you’re drowning, you’re suffocating.

Is this what heartbreak feels like, or is it just a heart attack?

Turns out it’s a panic attack, you know because you typed your symptoms on Google.

You are painfully aware you’re spiralling out of control.

Get a grip.

All you can think about is how you want him to suffer, you want him to feel the same humiliation you’re feeling right now. You want him to feel his chest compress, his throat tighten, you want him to know what it’s like when your heart is breaking in a thousand pieces and you can’t even breathe.

You want his world to come tumbling down on him and crush him under the weight of his mistakes.

You don’t care why he did it. You don’t give a single fuck about his reasons.

Because the truth is, no matter who he was in his past life, no matter how many he killed or tortured, you would have loved him all the same. You would have carried the weight of the world on your shoulders if it meant he could sleep soundly at night.

But he didn’t give you a chance to.

And because you never fucking think before you act, you put your best dress on a join the girls at the club they’re at, and you hope the tequila is going to drown your sorrow and dull the pain burning you from within.

Tonight you don’t want to feel anymore.

Four months ago.

Brooklyn, New York.

Every morning, Bucky wakes up at 5.30 am and joins Steve Rogers on his jog around the neighborhood, and every morning without failure Bucky is grumpy about it. He hates the early mornings, especially in the winter, but he can’t find it in himself to refuse Steve anything.

Steve is smart and too observing for his own good and he knows that something has changed. He knows it in the way Bucky’s steps are louder and bouncier, his back is straighter, his smile is easier, his eyes shine brighter.

He knows it because underneath the sandalwood scent of Buck’s deodorant and the musky smell of his sweat, he can sometimes detect the less pungent fragrance of coconut and peaches.

“So, who is she?”

The question catches him off guard. Bucky stops dead in his track and looks at his friend like a deer caught in the headlights.

“What, you thought I wouldn’t notice?”

At that he has the decency to blush.

“She’s- she’s perfect. I met her on the ride home from the shelter. ‘member when we were kids, we used to dream about the future? I swore I’d get myself a pretty wife and love her for the rest of my days and have a bunch of kids?”

“Yeah, I used to tell you you’d have to stop dragging me in those god awful double dates, or else you wouldn’t get any of those pretty girls to stick around.”

The two share a bittersweet smile as they reminisce how their life could have been.

“She’s pretty, you know, she’s sweet, she’s a bit of an asshole but the good kind, she’s so damn smart, you know all those science things I used to like before the war? She knows them all. She’s an engineer. I know my Ma would have approved of her, and Becca would have died to have her as a sister.”

“So why’s that long face?”

Bucky snorts.

Of course, how could Captain America understand? People don’t avoid him like he’s got some infectious disease, they don’t give him dirty looks, girls don’t cross the street when they see him, mothers with kids on their hips don’t cover their children as if he was the Boogeyman. “She didn’t recognize me, and well I- I can’t tell her. She wouldn’t want me, and I like her too much to mess this up.”

“Buck.” Steve gives him his best stern look. “You have to tell her, she has a right to know who she’s seeing. If she’s the one she’s going to love you all the same, but don’t lie to her. These secrets can only backfire in the long run. It’s going to ruin your relationship.”

Bucky nods absentmindedly and continues running without uttering another word.

No one could ever love his true self, he thinks bitterly. No one could help him carry the weight of his past on his shoulders.

If only he had known back then how right Stevie would be, he would have told you everything four months ago.

[jbbarnesnnoble]

Let Me Go

Summary:  When your fiance returns from his deployment, things aren’t the same. With your band getting ready to go full steam into your debut album, Bucky becomes too much, and you know that if your relationship is going to survive and be healthy, you need to go. 

Features: Angst; Happy ending; mentions of Bucky losing his arm; 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Notes: This has been a WIP for a while that I kept coming back to. I almost scrapped this. Their relationship isn’t healthy at the start, but that’s why things play out how they do. 

EDIT: forgot to mention, Kisses at Airports is a 100% real song by the amazing Cassadee Pope

Word Count: 2352

A wandering soul, a dreamer, a lover. The adjectives ascribed to you by the ones you loved, by the ones you were willing to lose in the pursuit of your dreams. You had dreams and staying was keeping you from them. You knew he never meant to keep you like a caged bird, he never realized that it was what he was doing. 

He excuses for why you shouldn’t do something were weak. “It’s too far”, “Have you seen the crime rate there?”, “what if something happens and I’m not there?”. You loved him. You did. But he clung to you like a leech, slowly draining you of your dreams of a life far away. It wasn’t healthy. He had his own issues to work through and he never would if you stayed. It hadn’t always been that way. You remembered a time when it wasn’t that way, where he wasn’t the one thing holding you back from your dreams. 

The summer air was filled with the scent of freshly made funnel cakes, spun sugar of cotton candy, and the smell of fresh rain. You had gone for cover in one of the buildings on the fairground, watching as the rain fell. His arms were wrapped around you, his left hand holding on to the cotton candy that had nearly fallen victim to the rain outside. You held tight to the moment. He’d be leaving soon, and moments like those were ones to cherish. 

“Think you’ll still get to play?” he asked as he tore a piece off and held it to your lips. You took the bit of sugary fluff into your mouth, smiling at the artificial taste of grape. It always had been a favorite of yours. 

“Wait for it. The show must go on,” you told him, nodding toward the bay doors where the rain was clearing. He laughed as you pulled him out of the building and toward the stage that was set up. Music was your passion. You dreamed of Nashville, of playing the Ryman, of one day joining the Opry. 

You had a band, a group that had been friends since childhood. They were your family, not by blood but by shared experiences. Natasha Romanoff was a badass with a guitar, Wanda Maximoff was a hell of a drummer, something no one ever expected. They always thought Nat would be the drummer and Wanda would be a guitarist or a fiddle player. Sharon Carter was your bass player, and Wanda’s brother Pietro was your keyboard player. The East Coast Connection was what you’d called yourselves since high school. Now, four years later, you were close to being able to head to Nashville and really try.  

The two of you found your friends. Steve was helping with the setup, but it looked more like he was getting distracted by Sharon. The pair had gotten married earlier in the summer. Carol Danvers was an addition to your close-knit group. Carol was a welcome addition, along with Sam Wilson. Carol, who Wanda had fallen head over heels with. They worked with Steve in New York, with the FDNY. You spotted Peter, MJ, and Ned in the mix. It seemed like everyone was there, everyone except…

“Where’s Barton?” you heard Bucky ask. Everyone paused and looked around. You swore you saw Nat swear under her breath. Clint Barton on the loose at the end of summer fair was never a good thing. You remembered the year he managed to take off with the entire pot of clams that had been put out for the annual seafood dinner night that was part of the fundraising efforts of the volunteer fire department that put on the fair. 

No one could forget the year Clint managed to hide terrifying-looking clowns in the Funhouse. 11-year-old Peter Parker ran out screaming and his Aunt May went on a warpath to find Clint. That was the summer before you entered 8th grade. Bucky, Steve, and Clint were a year ahead of you with Nat. Your year had the twins, Wade Wilson, who still showed up at random, though no one knew exactly what he was up to since high school, and Bruce Banner. 

Clint, as it turned out, had gone to meet Tony Stark. Not only did Stark own Stark Industries, but he had ventured into other industries, namely the music industry with a start-up based out of Nashville. Tony had been a senior your freshman year. His parents prided themselves on the fact that he went to public school, never mind the fact that your school was one of the top in the state. As far as you knew, Stark had settled down recently and was expecting a child with his wife Pepper. 

By the time Clint showed up with Tony, the band had taken the stage. You were so wrapped up in the show, you didn’t notice them. You slowed things down a bit in the middle of the set.

“This song...I wrote it thinking about something I really don’t want to think about. It’s called Kisses at Airports,” you said. You nodded your head to the beat, doing your best not to cry as the song neared the end.

“How many times do we take for granted? Kisses at airports, by open car doors, no I don’t wanna let go. I just wanna make sure you know, this one means I missed you. This one means I’m going to, make every one I give you baby be a little more, like kisses at airports, like kisses at airports,” you sang. You didn’t let yourself look at Bucky until the last note, seeing the emotion on his face clearly. 

You hadn’t played that one for him. You weren’t sure it was because you wanted it to be a surprise or because you didn’t want to acknowledge the truth. He was deploying soon, hopefully for the last time if you had it your way. His enlistment was up at the end of this one. He had been lucky enough to be stationed back home this time before deploying. 

You snapped out of your thoughts with the slam of the front door, followed by a muffled stream of curses. Alpine jumped from her perch on your lap. The ring you wore sat heavy on your left hand. He had proposed before he left, nearly a year ago. Four months in, you got the news about his injury. Two months later, he was home. You and the band had been in the studio, having signed on with Tony’s label. The amount of creative freedom he’d given you had shocked you. 

When you’d found out about Bucky’s injury, Tony made sure the band could stay in the area, that you had the support. Tony was the reason Bucky had a top of the line, custom made prosthetic. It was one of a kind. 

The past six months had been filled with physiotherapy and with Bucky’s visits to a therapist. It did nothing to quell the storm raging in his head. You could tell that much. You felt awful, for thinking about leaving. Felt like you were kicking him while he was down. Losing his arm and his fiancee in quick succession? It wouldn’t be forever. You knew his mental health wasn’t your responsibility, that distance was necessary. Nashville was the focal point, where the two of you couldn’t agree. He needed to stay in the area. His doctors were there. Tony was there. His new job with Stark Industries was there. 

You looked up when he came in. He looked exhausted. For a moment, you felt your resolve crumble. You had a bag packed, sitting beside you with your guitar. You were just waiting for your ride. Steve would be coming over after you left, you and the band heading for Nashville to do the things you needed to. The networking, the shows, preparing for the album launch. 

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked, his voice cracking. You sighed.

“James…,” you started to say.

“You’re leaving me. I need you here,” he said. You shook your head.

“It’s not healthy. This. Whatever this is right now. We need time apart and the band...we have so much to do before the album comes out. You and I...we’re not good for each other right now, Buck,” you said. 

“You’re leaving me,” he repeated. You stood up, placing your hand gently on his cheek, leaning to kiss him. He held you tight, not wanting to let go.

“It’s not forever. You need to let me go, James,” you said. He rested his forehead against yours. Conflict swirled around him. 

“What if I don’t want to?” he asked. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the familiar sting of tears.

“You have to. This...what we’ve been since you came home...it’s not healthy. It’s not good. It’s not good for you. It’s not good for me. I won’t be gone forever. But you have to learn how to let me go again. You have to. This...whatever this has been...we need the time apart before we destroy ourselves,” you said, your voice breaking. The two of you sat in silence, holding one another, until a knock came at the door, along with a text from Sharon. Clint was driving you all to the airport and had dropped Steve off. You grabbed your bag and your guitar, Bucky trailing behind you. 

“Please,” he whispered. You shook your head.

“It’s for the best,” you said, kissing him one last time before you walked out the door and to the car. You couldn’t bring yourself to look back as Steve ushered him back into the house. You felt your heart break a little more. It wasn’t forever, you reminded yourself. 

In the car, you just shook your head when Natasha asked about what had happened. You stared out the window as Clint pulled away, the sunlight catching on your ring as you left Bucky in the rearview. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nashville was a lot of things, but it wasn’t home. You enforced a strict policy of two phone calls a week with Bucky. The first week you had been gone, he was constantly calling and texting to check on you. You reminded him that you needed the space. You both needed it, even if he was unwilling to see it. One month passed, and then the second and a third. Four months passed and the album was releasing. To your surprise, the band had been asked to play the Opry. Before that the band was appearing on a radio show. You knew you were going to be asked about the songs, about your relationship. You wished he could be there. Once upon a time, he had been your most vocal supporter, promising to be there for every milestone he could. If the others knew what was on your mind as you sat waiting for the interview to start, they didn’t let on. 

“You have this song, Kisses at Airports, what was the inspiration there?” Bobby asked. You sighed.

“My fiance is...was in the military. He joined right out of high school. He’s home now, but those years...those years were filled with kisses at airports, saying goodbye without saying goodbye,” you explained. 

“Will he be at the Opry debut?” he asked. You bit your lip.

“It’s up in the air. He’s recovering at the moment,” you said, unwilling to give a deeper answer than that. You were checked out for the rest of the interview, Nat and Sharon doing most of the talking while Wanda and Pietro watched you with concern. You were quiet when the interview ended and you were heading to the venue. It wasn’t until you got to the dressing room that Wanda brought up the elephant in the room.

“You want him here, don’t you?” she asked. You nodded.

“He’s my best friend. Of course I want him here,” was all you said. You were more subdued through the afternoon as the band prepared for the show. You were nervous, more nervous than you’d been for any show you’d ever done. This was the Opry. How many greats had stood in that circle before you?

As you stepped onto the stage after the band was introduced, you looked out at the crowd. You tried to commit it to memory. Second only to the day Bucky proposed to you, this was the best day of your life. The opening chords of Kisses at Airports started and you didn’t have to think as you sang, Bucky on your mind. 

When you got off the stage, you were surprised to see a crowd outside the dressing room. Steve was there for Sharon. But with Steve was someone you didn’t expect. Bucky. When the two of you had spoken earlier in the week, he mentioned not being sure he could fly out. Between him not feeling comfortable traveling and his new job, you understood. But there in front of you was Bucky. You smiled at him. He looked surprised as you hugged him, squishing the flowers he held. After a moment, he laughed before he picked you up and spun you around. His laughter was a sound you had missed so much. Before you had left, you wondered if you would ever hear it again. 

He was doing better than he was the day you left for Nashville. Therapy helped you both. Texting was a daily thing now, phone calls whenever one of you just wanted to hear the other. You looked at him, really looked at him. He looked rested, more than he had in the six months leading up to your departure. 

“Missed you,” he said, his voice low. You smiled.

“Missed you too,” you replied before leaning to kiss him. 

“Alright lovebirds, let’s get going. We have dinner reservations,” Natasha said, breaking the two of you out of the bubble you had found yourselves in. For a moment, it had been as if no one else was there, just the two of you, finally back together again. 

[justkending]

Starstruck. Chapter 7.

Series Summary: Bucky Barnes works at a hospital in NYC as an E.R. doctor. Him and a group of his friends plan a trip to Texas to attend ACL Music Festival. It’s not really Bucky’s scene, but one particular artist that is performing there is his celebrity crush, Y/N Blaire. Y/N is a country pop singer who is on the up and coming rise in the music industry. What’s to come of the two? Well, that’s for them to explore and you to find out…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Blaire (Reader)

Word count: 2800+

A/N: Sorry about the wait! I actually meant for this scene to go completely different, but I got carried away with the two:) Let me know what you think!!

Chapter 7:

As soon as Bucky made it back to his apartment, he closed the door behind him and could already feel the soreness from smiling so hard. Alpine meowed in his arms, drawing him out of his daydream, and tilted his head up at his owner.

“I want to be mad at you for running away again, but somehow you made the right move this time,” Bucky shook his head at the cat before putting him down. 

Immediately, he rubbed on his legs showing his love for Buck, and then purred as he sashayed into the living room to his own set up by the giant window like Y/N had. 

Their apartments were quite similar in layout, his just a tad bit more open-concept than hers, and it was more updated with renovations he had taken into his own hand to really get that modern design he liked.

Bucky shook his head one more time at the cat before running a hand down his face. His face broke out in that smile again as he moved to take a cold shower before they went out.

Truth was he was exhausted and still could use a nap, but running into Y/N again gave him a new burst of energy. A cold shower was probably a good idea though considering he just got off a 10 hour shift and reeked of the hospital. 

____

Sure enough an hour later, Bucky was antsy and already done 20 minutes early because of how excited he was. It had been a LONG time since this kind of excitement was a thing for him.

It only took throwing on a pair of his good jeans, he didn’t even remember the last time he wore, and a grey t-shirt with a brown-aged-leather jacket over it. 

He had sent a message to Steve telling him he was coming, but he was bringing a new friend to the group to meet. He wasn’t sure whether to tell him who it was or keep it a secret, but he could always ask Y/N what she was more comfortable with when he went to pick her up later. 

He texted Y/N, having her number now, that he was ready when she was and all she had to do was shoot a text and he would head over. 

It took her a second to respond, probably getting ready, but she said she would be done in 10 minutes. Right on time for when they scheduled. 

Meow.

“Hey, no more escaping to see your little girlfriend next door,” he pointed at Alpine as he clawed at the window Bucky had closed. The same one he left cracked some of the time if it was nice outside, and the same one Alpine had been making his great escape from lately. 

Meow.

“Well, the person I’m seeing actually wants to hang out with me. I’m not inviting myself over,” Bucky argued with the pet. The cat just stared up at him with a judging look. “At least I hope,” Bucky sighed getting nervous now. 

Perfect timing, his phone rang with a message from Y/N saying he could head over now if he was ready. He took a deep breath and bent down scratching Alpines ear getting a louder purr.

“Behave little man,” he warned before a final pat, and he grabbed his keys heading to the apartment over. 

Facing the numbers of her apartment door, he took a deep breath in and out closing his eyes as if to grasp what exactly was happening. He was literally about to knock on the door of his celebrity crush, and take her to the bar to meet and hang out with his closest group of friends. 

He brought his hand up knocking on the door, and as soon as he did, he heard a muffled sound of a meow on the other side. Probably Pumpkin if she was still there.

“One second!” sounded from the other side as the voice grew closer. “Watch out, Sweetheart. I can’t open the door with you blocking it.” He heard, only making him chuckle at the obvious struggle that he knew all too well with Alpine. He had a feeling he would be laughing a lot with her tonight. She had that effect on him.

With a little more rustling on the other side, the door finally opened, and Bucky saw Y/N in a much more casual form. 

Her hair was in a low bun that was hanging out from the back of her NY Yankees ball cap. It was clearly worn out and not a new hat. Interesting considering she had just moved up here. Her photoshoot makeup from earlier was completely gone and replaced with what looked like just mascara and some lip gloss. Simple yet still somehow just as stunning as before. She had a gray Nike pullover tucked into a pair of jeans and her signature necklaces around her neck bringing attention to her collar bone. 

Casual, yet somehow so hot. Minus the Yankee hat. They would be a discussion to be had later…

“Pumpkin!” she said, making him stop checking her out and look down seeing the orange cat had got out and was rubbing on him. The same spot Alpine had cuddled to earlier. 

Bucky let out a loud laugh at the cat’s antics of trying to escape much like his own. 

“Hey, Pumpkin,” he greeted kindly before picking her up and cradling her to his chest. Without hesitation, she nudged her head under his chin purring loud enough that if anyone came out in the hall, they would all hear the sound.

“Sorry about that,” Y/N said with a fond smile on her face at the interaction between the two. “Looks like she likes you though,” she giggled, making Bucky look back at her and blush literally just at the sound. 

“I can say the same for Alpine. We’ll have to let the two have some play dates or something.”

“I think that can be arranged,” she grinned a little wider. “Here, come on in. I need to grab my glasses and keys, and then we can head out,” she said opening the door more for him.

Bucky nodded following in as she rushed to what he knew was the direction of the bedroom. He shut the door behind him and then put Pumpkin on the ground who gave him one last brush on the leg, and then went to her spot in the kitchen windowsill.

Y/N came out not even a minute later with a pair of glasses on. 

“Are those new or am I that bad at picking up on details?” he asked pointing at them.

She laughed grabbing the keys on the table by the door. 

“No, I don’t wear them that often. Usually only when I’m trying to blend in a little more. I wear contacts on most days,” she grinned, adjusting them and the hat as if to really make sure her disguise hid her. 

“Well, I like them. They fit you,” he smiled.

“Thank you,” she responded with a blush. It was blush right? That wasn’t some makeup that he didn’t notice earlier? “You ready to go?” she asked.

“Right! Yes,” he motioned to the door. 

As she was locking up and they turned down the hallway to the elevator, he turned to her. 

“So, like I said, the bar is only 3 blocks away, maybe a little less.” he noted, watching her walk next to him and she hummed in response. “We can take my bike, or would you rather walk?”

“You’re bike?” she asked in an confused tone as she turned to him still walking.

“Well, motorcycle, but yes,” he laughed at her clear shock on her face. “Only if you’re comfortable with that kinda thing,” he said in a sweet way. 

“Hmmm…” she hummed again, thinking about it as they pushed the button to the lobby of the building. The doors shutting slowly before going down. “How about this? We walk tonight so that I can try and get a better grasp of the neighborhood.”

He nodded a little disappointed that he wasn’t going to be able to show off his bike tonight. 

“But!” she said making him quirk an eyebrow at her. “I will hold you to going for a ride another time. I’ve always wanted to ride on one.”

“You’ve never been on one?” 

“Surprisingly not considering my grandpa used to be in a motorcycle gang,” she shrugged like it was normal and everyday kinda thing, but when she turned and saw his face shocked, she laughed. “He wasn’t out committing crimes or anything,” she waved off. “He was just in a small group of men who happened to like mechanics/engineering and ride their bikes together.”

“And he never took you for a spin?” he said chuckling and lightly nudging her shoulder. His flirting was coming out whether he tried or not. It was hard not to joke around with her though.

She nudged him back with a sly smirk. 

“He was too old and sold all his bikes by the time my parents were ok with me driving with him,” she said. “But, I do have a really cool picture of me sitting on top of one when I was like 2. Great way to prove to people how big of a daredevil I am,” she winked before looking forward again. 

Wait, was she flirting back?

Before Bucky could counter a reaction to the absolute adorableness she was giving off, the doors opened and she walked out.

The two walked in a comfortable silence for the first minute or so of the walk. Y/N clearly taking in her surroundings trying to commit it to memory and make a mental map in her head. It was cute, and Bucky was grinning at her eyes lighting up in the city lights as they walked. 

“Ok, I gotta ask,” he spoke up making her turn her head from an antique shop across the street to him. 

“Shoot,” she responded with a soft smile before tucking her hands into her front pockets. Again, a simple movement, but SO FUCKING CUTE.

“The hat. Yankee’s? Really?” he said tapping the bill of it making her laugh again. God, he had to remember everything that set that sound off so that he could do them all the time. 

“Yeah, what’s so bad about the Yankee’s?” she said faking offense. 

“Nothing. Nothing…” he said looking forward, trying to keep a serious face, but breaking instantly feeling her eyes on him. “Ok, just that they’re the worst,” he shrugged peeking at her with a side glance. 

“Hey!” she said, playfully shoving his arm only making him budge because he let her. “I’ll have you know the Yankee’s are an amazing team.”

“Hmm, and who’s telling you these lies?” Bucky chuckled, nudging her shoulder with his own as his own way of playing with her.

“My parents,” she said with a fond smile looking forward. There was a hint of longing with it, but Bucky didn’t push. “My family have been a Yankee’s fans for as long as I can remember. My mom’s dad being the one to get us on the path,” she looked at him.

“Any of them from New York?” he asked.

“No, we’ve been from Texas, Oklahoma, or Kansas from both sides. Southern/ Midwestern as can be.” 

“Ah, that explains it,” he nodded as they took a turn around a corner getting closer to the bar. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she laughed.

“Just that a true New Yorker would pick the Dodgers,” he shrugged putting his hands in his pockets like her. 

The two were walking extremely close to each other that is their hands weren’t encased in their jeans, they would be brushing knuckles with every step they took. 

“Well, makes sense since I am 100% a Texan,” her accent somehow heavier at the mention of her home. 

“But, you’re not even a Rangers fan?” he asked since that was Texas’s team.

“Eh, I mean I’ll support them considering it’s my home, but I’ll always be a born and raised Yankee fan,” she said, taking one hand out to tip her hat to Bucky getting a chuckle out of him. 

“You’re accents cute,” he said without thinking making his eyes widen at his comment before quickly hiding his embarrassment. That slipped. He didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“You think I have an accent?” she chuckled, easing his racing heart some at how chill she was at the clear redness on his face.

“You don’t think you do?” he questioned back, looking down at her as she shrugged her shoulders before looking back in front of her.

“I mean, I don’t hear it considering I’m so used to it being used around me, but my friends who aren’t from the south always tell me it comes out a lot stronger than I think,” she answered. 

“I’m not complaining over here,” he shrugged, again too nervous to look at her, scared that she would pick up on his sudden nerves.

“Thanks…” she smiled looking up at him waiting for him to look at her. Then as if a siren calling their victim, he turned feeling her eyes on him. “Darling…” she dragged out like molasses making his whole body quiver at the drawl.

“Now that’s not fair,” he breathed out as if he had ran a marathon and was winded. 

“You’re one to talk Brooklyn boy,” she laughed, happy to be pushing his bottoms.

“How did you know I was from Brooklyn?” he asked not remembering a time he told her. 

“I didn’t for sure, but you just proved it.” 

“Wha-”

“You told me the second time we met that you did your residency at Brooklyn, and you clearly are a very passionate Dodgers fan. I’m just picking up on the clues,” she laughed again, throwing her hands up in fake surrender.

“Oh, Sam and Clint are going to love you,” Bucky chuckled as they got to the front of the bar. Crowds sitting outside under the night lights showing that the bar was crowded like normal. “Oh shoot!” he exclaimed turning to her. “I completely forgot to tell them you were coming with me.”

“Is that a problem? Are they not fans of outsiders?” she chuckled at his sudden nerves.

“No, no. They love new people. Maybe a little too much…” he mumbled the last line. “It’s-well, I didn’t know if you wanted them to be prepared considering who you are, or if you would be annoyed by fans.”

“Please tell me you don’t think I get annoyed by fans,” she semi-pouted jutting out her lower lip a little more as she turned her head. 

As far as puppy dog eyes go, she won the oscar. He would literally do absolutely ANYTHING if she looked at him like that again. He would literally shoot himself in the thigh is she asked him too with that lip pouting out.

“No! I know you don’t get annoyed by fans,” he rushed to fix his words. “but I thought you might not care for your night out to be ruined by loads of questions about fame and such from my intrusive friends.” He groaned running a hand over his face thinking about the questions he knew his friends already had ready to go for things like this. Especially considering they loved to poke fun at Bucky and if he brought his celebrity crush to the bar as his date, at least that’s what they would say, he would definitely be in the line of fire tonight.

“Buck,” she said placing a hand on his shoulder making him look up and notice she was right in front of him. Only about a foot away. “It’s fine. I’ve gotten used to this part of the life.” Sort of… “I think I can handle a few of your friends.”

“Are you sure-”

“Besides!” she jumped moving to look at the front doors. “Every question they throw my way, I’ll throw back. Got to make friends somehow,” she shrugged smiling brightly at him. 

It was right then, he knew she could handle her own. She was just as much the ball or sunshine, outgoing, and optimistic individual that the papers and articles had made her out to be. The right ones at least...

“Ok. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though,” he said grabbing her hand and surprisingly feeling her squeeze his as they maneuvered through the crowd. 

Y/N keeping her head hidden by her cap to try and stay as secret as possible until they got to the back. The less press and people knowing she was there, the better.

Now about that friend group...

Starstruck Taglist:

@katofkatie​ @crazyfreaker​

Marvel Tags:

@girlintheshire​​​​​​​​ @thejourneyneverendsx​​​​​​​​ @zlixlle​​​​​​​​ @death-unbecomes-you​​​​​​​​ @heyiamthatbitch​​​​​​​​ @zeilenkrieg​​​​​​​​ @lizzymacy555​​​​​​​​ @iheartsebastianstan​​​​​​​​ @srrymydood​​​​​​​​ @sebastianstanfavpita​​ @xa-dia​​​​​​​

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravic @traceyaudette @kakakatey @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @snffbeebee @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @naomi02hook @xostephanie @schwankyblock @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @carls1022​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @carls1022​ @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Maybe I Am? - Chpt.1

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: After meeting in a chatroom Steve and Bucky finally meet up in real life, however Bucky isn’t anything Steve was expecting. Master list HERE.

Content Warning: a very confused Steve, an adorably disappointed Bucky. 

Word Count: 3.1k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! One of my favorite versions of Steve is the sweet confused Steve, and so I decided to have a little fun with him in this fic. Also, Steve Rogers is a Slytherin and I will fight ya’ll to the death on that one. If you don’t believe me read #10 in THIS article. There will be six chapters total, one posted every evening until we’re done. Hope you enjoy! XOXO - Ash

Chapter One

Bucky stared at Alpine, desperate for more companionship than the fluffy white cat could provide. He’d been stuck inside for the past four days while he got over the damned late winter cold he’d caught. Bucky hadn’t been sick in almost two years so he couldn’t really complain, but he was social by nature and Alpine could only do so much for her end of the conversation. He finally drug himself out of bed, carrying his fluffy duvet to the sofa with him so he could throw on a rerun of The Good Place and fire up his laptop. Bucky logged into the chat site he used to frequent that hosted discussions on all different fandoms from movies to television shows to music. He used to love hanging out online in some of the Harry Potter chats, especially HuffleHaven which he was pleased to see was still active. Bored and not really feeling up to fangirling at a level appropriate for a proud Hufflepuff, he hopped into a punk rock appreciation chat to hopefully find a way out of his bored funk. 

WinterBae: so ur a Greenday fan?

AmericanIdiot: What was your first clue?

WinterBae: well i heard the sounds of hysteria

AmericanIdiot: LOL nice. Is that your cat in the profile pic?

WinterBae: yuppp, that’s my girl Alpine

AmericanIdiot: She looks sweet. So, what fandom are you here for?

Bucky flicked over to view AmericanIdiot’s profile and was instantly smitten with the blonde who claimed punk rock was life and he could live on tacos alone if given the chance. He wondered briefly if the pic was real, it wasn’t unheard of for people to use model’s photos instead of their own, and the guy in AmericanIdiot’s picture was definitely model worthy. Tall, buff, and gorgeous; Bucky was definitely interested in more than conversation. Well, nothing to make himself feel better than a little harmless flirting. 

xxXxx

Three months later.

AmericanIdiot: I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.

WinterBae: oh come on! it’s not that bad, just let the hat sort you and i’ll let you retreat to your boring punk rock group. 

AmericanIdiot: You so owe me for this one. 

WinterBae: puhleeeease please please please

AmericanIdiot: FINE. But you still owe me. 

WinterBae: whatever you want. Promise :D

[Private Chat Initiated]

AmericanIdiot: Well shit. 

WinterBae: was i right??

AmericanIdiot: I hate you. 

WinterBae: nope, u luv me. and i told u so ;)

AmericanIdiot: How in the ever loving fuck am I a Slytherin?? I literally help my neighbor with her grocery bags every week! I feel like a puppy kicker now.

WinterBae: the hat sees inside ur soul puppy kicker mwahaha

AmericanIdiot: You totally owe me. 

WinterBae: fine. coffee? sunday morning maybe? r u near red hook? 

AmericanIdiot: I’m over in Park Slope. So not too far. Wait, are you serious? You really want to meet up?

WinterBae: let’s meet @ magnolia cafe 10am on sunday

AmericanIdiot: But how will I know it’s you?

WinterBae: i’ll wear a red rose tucked in my hair. cuz i’m classy like that lol

AmericanIdiot: Haha. Nice. I can’t wait.

WinterBae: me too :)

Steve closed the lid of his laptop, unable to believe his luck. He was finally going to meet WinterBae in real life after months of witty banter and playful flirting. He pulled on his sneakers, ready to go run out all the nervous energy thrumming inside him, and he hoped he wasn’t getting his hopes too high. Sam had already pointed out several times that he didn’t know a whole lot about WinterBae, not even what she really looked like. Steve maintained he wasn’t shallow and he knew enough about her to know that she was everything he’d hoped to find in a woman. She was bright and funny, kept him on his toes for sure, and had a biting wit that left him laughing harder than he had in years. Steve had been so lonely since Peggy up and left him, moving back to England after eight months of living together. He was finally ready to move on and he hoped WinterBae would be the one to do that with. 

Across the bustling streets of Brooklyn, in his little apartment in Red Hook, Bucky was rapid fire texting Nat about his date. She cheered him on good naturedly, happy he was actually putting himself back out there after the disaster that was Brock Rumlow. Bucky was proud that he’d been so smooth in asking AmericanIdiot to meet up, or at least smooth by his own nerdy standards. He reminded himself several times that even if the profile pic wasn’t really AmericanIdiot, he would most likely still be interested. How could he not be after spending the past three months talking to the guy every day? They talked about everything together and Bucky felt like he knew AmericanIdiot better than some of his real life friends. Two more days and he would have a name and a face to put with the amazing, brilliant, artistic guy he was completely head over heels for. Now he just had to figure out where to buy a red rose.

xxXxx

Bucky sat at a small cafe table inside Magnolia Cafe, trying not to fidget with the rose tucked behind his ear. He felt a little silly for wearing it, but also kind of like he was in a romance novel waiting to meet his knight in shining armor. He had worn his very best skinny jeans and a black button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, leaving his assortment of bracelets on display. He wasn’t getting his hopes up, but damned if he wasn’t going to look his best just in case. Nat had insisted on going along, wanting to make sure Bucky’s online friend wasn’t some kind of creeper. The fierce redhead sat a few tables away, poised and ready to strike should the guy make any untoward moves. Bucky loved how protective Nat was, though honestly she was a bit terrifying at times. So he waited, scrolling through Buzzfeed News, hoping that maybe this once luck would be on his side.

Steve was so nervous he was sweating a little by the time he got to the cafe. He wiped his palms on the side of his tee shirt, wondering belatedly if he should have put in a little more effort. All he had was work clothes anymore, even the navy tee he had on was emblazoned with their star logo and the name of their gym underneath. Paired with the only jeans he owned and a lightweight leather jacket, he hoped he would make a good first impression. WinterBae had mentioned being into fashion but Steve had never had an eye for that sort of thing. Nerves rising, Steve hoped he would be able to find WinterBae easily. He knew only that she would have a red rose tucked in her hair, and from a brief mention a few weeks ago about haircuts, he knew to expect shoulder length wavy brown hair. But that was it. Steve reminded himself that he needed to go into this with open eyes, if nothing else he would walk away with a new friend. Someone other than Sam to hang out with, somewhere other than the gym they co-owned. Deep down though, he still hoped for more.

The cafe was dimly lit inside and it took Steve a minute to let his eyes adjust. He scanned the room quickly, taking note of all the women sitting at various tables. Most were with other people, leaving only four on their own, but try as he might he couldn’t spot red roses on any of them. He felt a pang of disappointment but prayed he was just early and not being stood up. He was about to go order himself an Americano to sip while he waited when he heard a rough, masculine voice call out “AmericanIdiot?” in a tone tinged with awe.

Steve turned in the direction of the voice to see a man about his age with a red rose tucked into his shoulder length wavy brown hair. His mouth moved while his brain reeled, “WinterBae?”

“Yeah! Hey!” Bucky felt like he was vibrating out of his skin; he was so thrilled. The blonde god standing in front of him really was the man from the picture, and he looked even better in real life, if that was possible. Brilliant, sweet, and hot. Bucky had hit the jackpot. 

Steve let himself be pulled into a warm hug, the man was a few inches shorter than his own 6’2” and fit nicely against his chest. The man. WinterBae was a man. Steve replayed all of their conversations in his head and kept coming up with the same assumption. Steve had never once in a million years thought he was a man. He supposed in retrospect that having a female best friend, a love of clothes, and a cat he called a “fur baby” was not necessarily concrete signs of being a woman, but damned if Steve had even thought twice about WinterBae’s gender. He forced himself to return the hug, happy to meet a new friend, even though his heart was crushed under the disappointment that nothing more would be coming of this meeting. 

“I’m so glad you made it.” Bucky told him as they pulled apart.

“Of course. Gotta get my cup of coffee for being tortured by a magical hat.” 

Bucky laughed, a rich rumbling sound, “Yeah, a Slytherin would never pass up the opportunity to benefit off the kindness of others.” 

“Well at least your poor little Huffle-brain won’t realize what’s going on.” 

“Ouch, punk. Those are some strong words from someone who watched Sorcerer's Stone for the first time less than a month ago.” 

“It’s your fault I did too, jerk. Uh, you can call me Steve by the way.” 

“Steve, nice. It suits you. I’m Bucky. Well, James, but everyone calls me Bucky.” 

“Now that’s a story I have to hear.” Steve said with a laugh and let Bucky lead him over to the line for his drink. 

They ended up spending two and a half hours talking at their little table at the cafe. Coffee turned into a muffin to split, which turned into a panini and iced teas for both of them. Steve couldn’t remember the last time conversation flowed so easily with someone. Talking to Bucky felt like they had been best friends for years opposed to only knowing each other a few months. They topic hopped relentlessly, never losing each other along the way. Steve found himself laughing so hard his ribs hurt when Bucky spoke about one of his teenage misadventures with his sister Becca. 

Bucky was very clearly flirting by the time they finished their lunch; shooting Steve sweet little smiles every so often and pushing his hair back behind his ear coyly. Steve knew he should put the breaks on the flirting, he didn’t want to lead Bucky on, but it was so much easier to just smile along with him. In his thirty years of life, Steve had never once questioned his sexuality. Men had never held any attraction for him, but something about the way Bucky chewed on his bottom lip, the tiny tip of his pink tongue peeking out, had part of Steve wanting to taste that lip himself. 

With a cough, Steve shook his head, trying to clear his unexpected wayward thoughts. “I’m sorry, I missed that.” he prompted.

Bucky titled his head slightly with a lopsided smile, “It’s okay. I was just saying that my sister was the one who gave me the courage to come out to my parents. She came out first and seeing how my parents reacted made it a lot easier for me to. She was only 15 at the time, but she always has been a hell of a lot braver than I am.” 

“I doubt that. But that’s great you guys are so close.” 

“Yeah, she’s been my best friend since the day she was born. Well, other than Nat, but don’t tell her that.” Bucky chuckled thinking back on the loving bickering Becca and Nat used to do when they were younger. “So how did you come out to your parents?” 

Steve wanted to die on the spot. A bright blush tinged his cheeks, staining his pale skin all the way down his neck. “I, uh. Well. I’m not. Um. I didn’t, actually. Because I’m not, um, gay.” Please god, let the ground open up and swallow me whole, he prayed silently, unable to meet Bucky’s eyes. 

The smile Bucky had worn, waiting for what he thought must have been one hell of a story based on Steve's blush, completely vanished. Along with all his foolish daydreams of dating someone as amazing as Steve. “Oh. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” he finally choked out semi-normal sounding. 

“No, it’s my fault.” Steve hastily protested, “We talked so much online and I didn’t realize you were a man.” The wide eyed shock on Bucky’s face made Steve realize he hadn’t made things any better.

“Wait, what? You thought I was a woman?” Bucky asked incredulously. 

“Well, yeah. Nothing about your profile or our conversations were very clear and I guess I just somehow jumped to the conclusion that you were. I’m sorry, Bucky.” 

Disappointed but not wanting to miss out on a great friendship Bucky forced himself to smile reassuringly at Steve. “It’s okay. No harm done. So you're straight then?”

“I think so.” 

That did not help things. “That’s kinda something you know.” 

“Yeah, I thought so too. I like talking to you though. A lot.” Bucky was looking at him like he had three heads and Steve just wanted to crawl home and die of embarrassment. 

“Okay. I like talking to you a lot too. We can just be friends though, Steve. I’m not going to get my feelings hurt just because you bat for the other team.” 

“Thanks. I really am sorry. If I were to ever switch teams you’d be the first guy I call. You’re incredible.” 

“Aww come on. You don’t gotta say that. It’s all good, really. Now tell me more about this gym you run.”

Steve sighed, thankful to change topics, “Well, my best friend Sam and I opened it when he retired from the Air Force six years ago.” Steve launched into the story of how he met Sam through the VA where they had both volunteered as teenagers and then years later, they teamed up to start Shield Gym which was now one of the most popular gyms in the city.

The conversation lulled a little after that and Bucky politely refrained from any more flirting. Steve found himself missing the cute little gestures. He couldn’t figure out what the hell was wrong with him but he knew he needed to figure it out sooner rather than later. They parted as friends, swapping cell phone numbers so they could text instead of the message boards and private chats online. Steve initiated the goodbye hug, wanting to test the feeling of the smaller man in his arms once more. It was just as nice as the first time and only added to Steve’s confusion. 

Nat caught up with Bucky barely a block from the cafe, pulling him for a tight hug when she saw his morose expression. “Do I need to kill him?” she asked seriously.

“He's straight.” Bucky told her, “Well, he said he thinks he’s straight. Whatever the hell that means.” 

Nat quirked a brow at that, not commenting though.

“Either way, back to spending all my nights with you and Alpine. And Becca, when the brat has time to fly out.” 

“Maybe don’t write him off just yet.” Nat said carefully, “I saw you two together, it was sweet.” 

Bucky sighed, “I can’t do it, Nat. Just let the poor straight boy be slightly confused on his own before he settles down with some perfect human barbie doll he meets at his gym.” 

Nat pursed her lips in disapproval but remained silent. She wrapped an arm around Bucky’s waist and followed him home so they could share a pint of gelato and watch a trashy rom-com until Bukcy felt better.  

“Shit, Sam.” Steve whined at his best friend back in their gym in Park Slope. He’d gone straight from the cafe to the gym, knowing Sam was working the midday shift. “How did this happen?”

“You made an honest mistake, it happens.” Sam tried to be kind with his words, “But, and I’m not saying I told you so, you didn’t really know as much about this guy as you thought you did.” 

“That might have been the politest ‘I told you so’ ever.” 

“I am sorry that it didn’t work out though. I know you thought you really falling for this WinterBae.” 

“His name is Bucky. And, I don’t know Sam, he’s just as incredible in person. More so, even. I don’t know what to do. I’m not gay. But…. maybe I am?” 

Sam set down the bottle of spray disinfectant and the rag he was wiping down the machines with. “Steve, I know you had your hopes up for this guy. But he’s a guy. And being straight, or not straight, is typically something you figure out before your thirties.” 

“I know. I know.” Steve groaned, raking his hands through his hair. 

“At least you made a new friend, right?” Sam tried hopefully.

Steve shook his head, “Yeah, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t know what to do, Sam.”

“You gotta figure that one out on your own, man. But whatever you do, don’t drag that poor boy through whatever premature mid life crisis you got going on. It wouldn’t be fair to him to get his hopes up.” 

“I know that.” Steve fought to keep the glare he wanted to give Sam off his face, “I would never hurt him. I just… I need to think about it, I guess.” 

Sam clapped Steve on the shoulder supportively before resuming his cleaning, “You do that. And if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” 

Steve thanked him and then headed out. He had a lot of thinking to do. 

[faustiana]

"There's someone I want you to meet," Bucky says, a fond smile spreading across his face.

They've been dating for a steady eight months now and had gotten the Meet-the-family-and-friends milestone out of the way pretty quickly since their social life overlapped with each other's extensively.

Sharon looks up from her Avengers themed colouring book, confused. It's a strange line to spring on her when she's currently colouring Tony's suit in Barney the Dinosaur colours, with the intent on snapping a picture and sending it to her cousin.

The only introduction she'd had to make was him to her Aunt Angie.

("So handsome!" her aunt had exclaimed, hugging Bucky in an attempt to be the world's worst wingwoman. Sharon had just stood there in background making slashing motions at her throat.)

It's even stranger when she realises that she's pretty much met everyone important in Bucky's life, in present day at least. Steve. Sam. Natasha. Herself.

She's yet to figure out a way to time travel back to the thirties to roast Bucky to the moon and back with his sister Rebecca.

"What?" she asks, scrunching up her nose adorably, prompting Bucky who can't resist, to immediately boop it.

"You'll see," he smiles cryptically. "Tuesday at 9. Dinner at my place?"

"Sure," she replies, pretending to be nonchalant when in reality her spy senses are working overtime.

Sharon hates surprises, so she stakes out Bucky's apartment in her spare time. A little overboard, sure? But a little due diligence wouldn't hurt.

She's ready to leave when she realises she's accidentally watched half the second season of Supernatural whilst spying on her boyfriend. Convinced, he's just trying to mess with her head a bit, she relaxes, stepping away from her perch on the fire escape.

Only to see a shock of white fur slipping in through the kitchen window.

It's a cat. He wants her to meet a cat.

Sharon's always considered herself a dog person. She'd raised a German Shepherd called Jack when she was a kid and was a favourite of Lucky, Clint's lab retriever.

Her track record with cats was suspect, at best.

Natasha's cat Liho was grumpy on a regular day but she makes it a habit to hiss nastily at Sharon, every single time she stays over at her best friend's apartment. Sharon hisses back to be polite and to also maybe, establish dominance.

The only other cat she's ever interacted with wasn't technically a cat.

Fury's orange tabby, Goose was a good partner to have on missions. Especially when she eats her opponents and their weapons and coughs them up in SHIELD's holding facility, no cleanup crew required.

(She's been relieved of her cat-sitting duties when she pulls the above stunt with Goose one too many times.)

The technical term is flerken but Goose still likes her. That counts for something, right?

On Tuesday, she’s outside Bucky’s door trying to calm her nerves down, an entire grocery bag of cat treats in hand.

“This is Alpine,” Bucky gestures to the snowy lump of fur sitting idly atop a stack of books that she knew were flea market purchases. “Don’t know if she’s mine but she’s been coming around here the last couple of months expecting to be fed by me so that’s comes pretty close.”

Sharon waves awkwardly at the cat, who’s too busy licking at its paw to notice.

“You knew?” Bucky frowns, reaching into the grocery bag and pulling out a tin of Fancy Feast. He raises an eyebrow at her.

“I kind of staked out your apartment a little to prepare myself, she admits, scratching the back of her neck sheepishly. “Only a little, if it helps.”

Bucky just tilts his head and chuckles. “That tracks.” He shakes the grocery bag and the food tins clatter against each other.

“Sorry, I cleared out near half the cat food aisle,” she apologises. “Didn’t know what kind she likes. He likes? I don’t want to look up the cat’s ass, we’ve only just met.”

Bucky laughs like a sunbeam on a cold winter morning. “She.”

He gives her a side hug and drops a kiss into her hair, as natural as breathing. “Dinner’ll be ready in a few minutes. I’m making chicken pot pie.”

“Okay,” she responds, plopping down onto the floor at the base of his couch.

He heads to the kitchen and shoots a look at the two of them. “Play nice,” he warns. Sharon and Alpine exchange wary glances.

Sharon and the cat sit in near silence until she can’t pretend not to notice how she’s been staring at her, in cold assessment.

This is what it feels like to be other end of an interrogation table, she thinks.

She tries not to leap out of her skin when suddenly Alpine leaps off her spot from the stack and begins to inch towards her, her gaze both studious and calculating. Sharon doesn’t dare move.

Finally, in the smoothest of moves that she thinks outshines the brightest of stealth agents, Alpine stretches onto Sharon’s lap and settles into the warmth of her thighs. Sharon freezes.

Alpine bumps her head gently on Sharon’s torso. The universal cat signal for pet me.

Hesitantly, Sharon reaches out and scratches the cat lightly under the chin. Alpine closes her eyes and purrs contentedly.

A quick learner, she figures out where Alpine loves being petted. Head. Between the eyes. Down her back and a bit of the tail.

She quickly establishes a petting routine that’s got Alpine’s stamp of approval. Slowly, she feels Alpine’s breaths turning even and guesses that she’s fallen asleep.

Alpine’s got pretty soft fur for a stray. It’s downy with an even finer coat underneath her fur. Sharon’s not versed in cat breeds enough to tell what kind she is.

But she feels a swell of love for this cat that isn’t mean to her. Probably the only one.

“Does this mean you like me?” she asks quietly, even though the cat’s asleep. Alpine just lets out a tiny meow. It looks like she’s caught in a happy dream.

“Dinner’s re-, oh!” Bucky stops at the sight of his girlfriend and his cat.

“Yeah,” Sharon smiles softly at him. “I’m not moving position anytime soon, babe.”

“That’s alright,” his smiles back, shaking his head lightly. “I’ll feed it to you, all romantic like.”

They watch the first few episodes of Supernatural’s fourth season, Bucky feeding Sharon and himself spoonfuls of pot pie, straight from the dish.

Later, Sharon too, quickly dozes off, her head on his shoulder and as much as he wants to scoop her up and take her to his bed, he thinks it’s best not to wake either of them.

So he wraps Sharon up in a blanket and props a pillow under her head, slowly manoeuvring her into a position that meant she was least likely to wake up with a crick in her neck.

He ghosts his lips on her forehead and pats Alpine softly a bit.

Selfishly, he takes one last look at them and smiles, before turning off the lights. His two best girls.

[@winter13-events]

[bioticgoddess]

The Mountain

Notes: this is a drabble/short series, started working on it when I was (coincidentally) in the mountains...just not the mountains in question.  

Pairings: Bucky x OC (Taryn Lantz), 

Series Summary: The Avengers (Tony really) finds the HYDRA base where Bucky underwent surgery to replace his arm and initial/secondary conditioning after his fall from the freight train. 

The Mountain: Five Days 

Chapter Summary: When they go to investigate the Alpine Base everything goes to shit.

Chapter Warnings: Implied death; Grief/Mourning; A lil Fluff; A lil Angst.

---

They had found it. Well, Tony had found it. The HYDRA base where Bucky had been taken and worked on immediately following the fall from the freight train. It was deep in the Alps and, much like Siberia, any paved roadway to it was blocked in by snow. The base’s main entry was carved into the foot of the mountain, meant to be hidden and difficult to access for any who didn't know about it. Inside, the team had paired off in order to recon the abandoned facility - Steve and Bucky, Nat and Clint, Sam and Taryn.

That had been where everything went FUBAR. They had relied on their Intel; it had been very wrong. The base was not only active but staffed, albeit a skeleton crew compared to most of the HYDRA facilities the group, even Bucky and Taryn, had run into since the fall of HYDRA. They’d gotten into fights with the agents and, surprisingly well armed/trained, technical staff. Right until one of them slipped past Steve and managed to trigger the base’s fail safe.

After that, and for the first time in years, Bucky woke from a nightmare and Taryn wasn’t there to help him out of the fog and back to center.

He cried.

After the HYDRA agent had triggered the self destruct, the team had scrambled to evacuate the facility. Even sweeping up as many unconscious HYDRA staff as they could. As charges went off around them, knocking out supports and walls, it brought a part of the mountain down in multi-ton chunks. Everyone managed to get out at higher levels within the base except Taryn. The Inhuman had been in the vehicle bay, heading for the main garage access door when she’d been trapped inside. Some of the rock ceiling and fallen at the end of the tarmac and blocked the outer door.

Pushing out of his bed, Bucky walked heavily to his desk. Lump in his throat, mouth dry and cottony, his mind played everything over from that mission. It was like a rerun of a bad horror movie. A photo of he and Taryn from their first few weeks back in the states greeted him. One from before he had mustered up the courage and kissed her. She smiled out of the frame at him.

“I’m so sorry doll,” he whispered, reaching out to run his fingers along the image of her cheek.

Closing his eyes, their last conversation replayed in his mind. “Guys, I...I don't think I’m getting out,” she whispered into the comm. They could hear the rock coming down around her.

Desperation colored Bucky’s voice as he started to answer her. To try and keep her focused on getting out, “We’ll come get you, where in th-”

“Bucky there’s no way to get here! I'm stuck behind a wall of rock.” She cut him off, crying, he could hear the her voice break, “Bucky I -,” then her com had cut out. That had been five days ago. Five days. And he felt like he’d lost a limb all over again.

---

Day 1:

She'd found an alcove, a drainage access cut in the wall of the mountain where HYDRA must have once pumped out water and G0d knows what else. It had been a split second decision and has lost her both her com and her cell phone in the process. The way she landed cut a couple nasty lines down her right thigh and calf, but she was able to get a barrier up around the outside of the corrugated metal tube. Inevitably the rocks stopped falling, the world stopped shaking, and she breathed a sigh of relief. “Well this is a fine kettle of fish you've landed yourself in Lantz. Brilliant,” she chastised herself softly, trying to staunch the bleeding on her right leg.

“Okay,” she took a deep breath, stripping off the first of the two tank tops under her jacket. With some help from her pocket knife, the Inhuman split the garment into strips and wrapped them around the worst of the gashes. “No use bleeding out,” she muttered, taking in her surroundings. The whole tunnel was reinforced and led farther out of (or into) the mountain, she wasn't sure which.

“And no use dying here,” she added, pushing herself to stand faster than her bloody leg appreciated. Clenching her jaw against the bolt of pain she steadied herself.

Limping along, she made up her mind and headed further down the tunnel.

---

Day 5: 1255 Hours

On the flight home, Bucky required sedation. A lot of it. It was that or he was going to jump out of the Quinjet - even if he’d had to fight the others to do it.

Thankfully, Clint’s perfect aim wasn't limited to his weapons, or golf. He’d hit the other Avenger from the pilot’s seat with a syringe full of enough sedative to knock out the Hulk. All things considered, it seemed like the best course of action at the time. Even now, five days later, he was under constant watch. Steve and Natasha, with the help of FRIDAY, kept him from drowning in the wake of Taryn’s death. Their goal: keep him on some sort of routine so he didn’t have time to let the next hit be his last.  

“Sergeant Barnes,” FRIDAY said, the AI’s lilt jarred him from his work out enjoy that the punching back swung back and hit him.

“Oof. Yea FRIDAY,” he responded slowly. He’d barely broken a sweat. For the first time in years felt like an utter failure in ways he couldn’t yet articulate. That said, it made his lackluster attempt at boxing less than surprising. There was a long pause that made him physically uncomfortable; he called out “FRIDAY?”

The AI’s voice rang out in response, “Apologies Sergeant. Mr. Stark was correcting the time but there’s a meeting at 1700 this afternoon in the media room. I haven't been given any specifics beyond that” She apologized again to Bucky before signing off.

Looking at the clock he sighed heavily. It was 1300, he had time to prepare for the meeting. To steel himself against more bad news. The last one, three days earlier, had confirmed what they all knew: HYDRA had brought down the base with a number of precision demolition charges. While unlikely, SHIELD was going to search for survivors and bodies alike.

He swallowed, he needed time to try and get his head on straight for the meeting and whatever it was about.

Since returning to the Compound, he had even less love for group activities right now. In a lot of ways he wasn't sure he would ever be okay being social again. Even with Steve. At least not like he had been before this last mission. He swallowed, dragging himself to the men’s showers. “C’mon Sarge! You can do better than that,” he could hear Taryn tease him about the work out. Something she did even when he was in fine form.

“Yea, well, you aren't here to make me now are you,” he grumbled, the double doors swinging behind him.

---

DAY 2:

Between her biotics and what brute force she could muster, Taryn had found her way out of the drainage pipe. It had, thankfully, found the outside of the mountain. She’d slid down the steel and bruised her tailbone before the thing leveled out. As she ambled down the mountain, dragging herself through the the woods towards what looked like a village, she breathed heavily. “Alright Sarge, got any words of wisdom for me?” If only he were there.

Everything hurt.

She tumbled back down the last few feet of the incline, landing face first in the dirt and laughed at herself. “Keep your feet under you doll,” she muttered, half mimicking Bucky’s intonation and tone. It also added a number of additional bruises and minor scrapes to her hands, arms and a nice one along her left cheek bone.

There was an old gas station near the edge of the town in the valley before her, closer to her than any of the other buildings. If she was lucky there would be an first aid kit and a functional phone. And people would be easy to avoid.

Like a depressing majority of her generation, Taryn didn't know most of the phone numbers she’d received in recent years. Those she did recall were old and probably disconnected. Nor was it like she could call an operator and ask to be connected to the Avengers Compound or the mobile phones for Captain America or any other Avenger. No, all their phone numbers were unlisted and the devices heavily encrypted. Even the one she lost in that mountain.

Then she it on it, a Eureka moment and one number for a friend from college came to her. And one who owed her a favor.

Several favors.

----

Day 5: 1400 Hours

He’d been hit with a wave of emptiness almost immediately after he’d gotten back to his room from the gym. The bed looked empty, the kind of empty that made him so acutely upset he’d actually thrown up. It came from knowing that she wouldn’t be curled up next to him again. The second he’d been balanced enough to do so, he practically ran from the room.

Ultimately, Bucky found Wanda in her room.

Wanda, he knew, felt Taryn’s loss as acutely as he did. The girls had become thick as thieves during their time in Wakanda. From what he understood, she was the closest thing to best friend (besides himself) the Inhuman had.

“How are you holding up,” he asked, half startling the brunette from her thoughts.

She smiled half heartedly, “It's not as bad as Pietro, but…” She trailed off, hand skimming a long some photos of the two women from earlier in the year. From some party Stark had thrown in the compound - one of the two or three done shortly after the others returned to the states. “How about you,” she asked after a moment, closing the album.

He shrugged. Bucky hadn't really come to talk about how he felt. He'd come to be around someone else who was to Taryn. His hesitation was almost palpable. Swallowing he managed, “Like my whole world’s gone...again.”

“They don’t want to declare her dead, not til there’s a body to bury,” Wanda said, palming the pendant sized urn around her neck. It was all she had left of Pietro, physically at least. Of his person. The way he’d influenced her life, however, was there to stay. Running her thumb over it, she whispered, “My brother, it was...easy, well easier, to give him a proper send off. His body came back with us. Her...I just hope they find her soon. She deserves better than this.”

Bucky nodded. He couldn't argue there.

---

DAY 3:

There had been a phone. Praise Jesus there had been a phone! Even better, a set of keys for one of the cars in the gas station’s lot - practically begging her to take them. She’d dialed the phone number she remembered and prayed - to whoever was listening - that her college buddy still had the same number. It had been a miracle when the Frenchman - Luca - had answered. It got even better when he confirmed his sister - Juliana - was refueling the family jet for a trip.

After some cajoling...and agreeing this would set the pair even, they’d set up a rendez-vous point just outside the mountain range near Zermatt. Which, based now what Taryn told them about her location, was the closest town to where she’d fallen out of the mountain. Juliana could land just about anywhere. Including water if she had the right plane.

It had taken several hours of careful driving, and a few panic attacks about driving along mountain roads, but the Inhuman made it. Idling by the side of the roadway that Juliana and Luca had picked out, Taryn checked her bandage. “Well this’ll be a nice scar,” she muttered. The first aide kit she’d picked up from the gas station left much to be desired but with it she’d managed to do the job.

Settling in the back seat of the car, injured leg propped up, Taryn drifted off to an uncomfortably restless sleep.

---

Day 5: 1545 Hours

Steve had found him, isolated in his room, and brought food he hoped the other centenarian would eat.  

Bucky merely picked at his food. He maybe ate half the sandwich and didn't touch anything else on the plate at first. There were some chips, a couple pickle slices, and a cookie. Things he’d have practically swallowed whole in any other situation. He’d always had the bigger appetite out of the two, even now. Well, until the second trip to the Mountain. That was two things the Alps had stolen from Bucky.

“I can't tell you it gets better. But you're not alone,” Steve said, squeezing his best friend's shoulder. He had, as they all knew, lost Peggy for the final time just before finding Bucky in Romania. Despite his relationship with Sharon, the void left by her aunt was always there. Changing his tone some, he added, “But, you also know how much crap she'd give you for not eating.”

That made Bucky chuckle and he finally pulled a chip off his plate, crunching it slowly.

Bucky ate his way through half the chips before the nausea hit. And it hit every time he even thought about eating, and that assumed even had any appetite at all. Clint had noticed it before Steve, that he had had next to zero appetite. He had pointed it out to him on their second day back that Bucky hadn’t eaten, or even drank, anything since getting back to New York.

Between that and the nightmares this was most time they had spent together in one room since the mission.

He wouldn't even speak to Sam, who'd been paired off with Taryn in the base. Despite protocol, the two had split up to investigate opposite floors. They hadn’t even been in line of sight to one another by the time HYDRA started bringing down the mountain. If they had, both men surmised, then she would be in the infirmary not buried under G0d knew how many tons of stone.

---

Day 4:

The sound of the airplane descending woke her from her fitful sleep. She looked up, rubbing her eyes, as the sleek hunk of metal practically danced its way to the ground.  If she hadn’t known better, Taryn would have sworn it was a QuinJet the way Juliana piloted that thing.

“Where to cheri,” called Luca from the main door as his friend extricated herself from the old SUV.

She chuckled, limping up the passenger on-ramp, “The Avengers Compound, upstate New York. Google it.”

“Oh! I know where it is,” Juliana said as her brother and his friend settle in for the flight. She updated the computer with the new nav data and took off. Everything she did in the cockpit was fast and precise, almost like watching Clint or Nat pilot the Quinjet.

The g-force rattled Taryn, pinning her to the seat temporarily as they took off unceremoniously. “Why does it not surprise me that she knows where the Compound is,” she muttered, wincing as the pressure released.

“Terregensis made my sister, and her eidetic memory that much more annoying” Luca laughed. She had been one of the few dozen Inhumans teens Taryn ferried through New York to pick up points for a couple of the Inhuman enclaves around the world. Places they would, if everything worked, be afforded the opportunity to go through Teregenesis.  

---

Day 5: 1540 Hours

“Hey Taryn! This thing wants some authorization codes or something,” Juliana was frantic, waking the other woman from the first real sleep she’d had in several days. It sounded, however, like FRIDAY was ready to send out the Air Force - or more accurately Tony - to handle the plane.

Clearing her throat, the Inhuman clicked a button on the comms layout, “Relax FRIDAY it’s me. Got some friends to fly me home.”

The AI practically stammered a response, if that was possible, “Voice print confirmed. Now where the hell were you!?”

“Ha. Ha,” she groaned, “Hi mom. So can we land? Because I need one of Bucky’s hugs and a massive cup of coffee.” Caffeine pills had been no substitute for the glorious taste of one of Nat’s or Wanda’s concoctions. “And do me a favor,” she added quickly, “Don’t tell Tony. He’ll want to tell everyone.”

There was a pause before FRIDAY continued, “Go ahead. The team is having a debrief in the media room regarding the Alps Incident shortly, 1700.”

Juliana began landing procedures.

Shaking her head, Taryn asked, “FRIDAY...where’s Bucky?”

“In his quarters,” the AI replied. “Shall I let him know you’re en route?”

Taryn carefully pushed herself up from her seat as the plane landed, “No. I’ll go there first. Thank you FRIDAY,” she said, heading from the plane to the main compound. Only after she made sure he was alright could she let herself do anything else. It had finally, as they landed, dawned on her just how long she'd been gone. The way her comms were cut off, what the team must have thought. What Bucky had to be feeling weighed heavily on her most of all.

She'd been so preoccupied in getting home that she had had time to contemplate anything else.

--

1642 Hours

He had thanked Steve for the food and, unceremoniously kicked his friend out of the room. Stating that he needed some time to himself before the briefing.

He laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. His eyes burned from the tears he'd tried to hold back today. He didn't want to go to this meeting. He wanted to stay here, in his room with those things of hers that had migrated down from her room to his in the last few months. Today had been the first day he hadn’t cried for hours already.

Rolling over on his side, Bucky could see out over the lawn of the compound. That had been one saving grace in the room placement. That being able to see the open space and freedom meant Bucky never felt confined even when he wasn't allowed to leave the compound. It had always helped that his Inhuman companion could coerce him into doing something other than stare out the windows or train.

He wrapped his arms around her pillow, burying his face in it - the smell of her was still there. “You’d have something to say about all this wouldn't you,” he whispered, no energy left in him to cry.

Almost unbidden he could hear her tease him “Like how you shouldn't have your shoes on the bed.” Her voice was soft. No...it was too loud to have been his imagination. It was almost like she was...

Bucky sat up and spun around with one kick of his legs. His breathing quickened and he felt the dump of endorphins and adrenaline in his system at the sight before him.

Leaning heavily against the door jam in her torn and soiled combat suit, Taryn gave him a soft smile. Her hair was sweaty and matted in those places it had fallen out of the braid over the last five days. She was covered in dirt and dust and looked like she needed a bath more than anything else. “Taryn,” he whispered, pushing himself up to stand, half afraid she'd disappear. Like this was a cruel hallucination, right until she limped over and wrapped her hands around his waist.

“You’re alive,” he said, bowing his head and pressing his face to the crown of her head. The brunette was still standing, in truth she wasn't sure she'd be able to get back up if she sat down right now.

She whispered into his shoulder, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Bucky.”

“You're alive,” he repeated, “That's all that matters.” He was rubbing circles between her shoulder blades.

Smiling she laughed and he kissed the top of her head, “I missed you too Sarge.”

“Hey Buck we -,” Steve called from the hallway going slack-jawed when he saw them. “Taryn! When did…y’know what, never mind. ” Bucky glared at his best friend, he didn’t like the interruption - not at all. And to hell with Tony’s meeting. After a moment, Steve regained his senses, and pulled the door closed. He clicked the lock on the door before it closed - leaving the pair to their reunion.  

-----------------------------

Feedback welcome! I hope y’all enjoyed it! The next part will be up this time next week or shortly thereafter. 

Requests/Asks are open. :D