#theme: fatherhood

[siderains]

“dads and daughters, you think any of them ever really get it right?”

(yasmin belkhyr, “Interlude with forgotten myth, or, portrait of ibrahim’s daughter,” alongside with the panel from “dawn of x”/picture of an aurora borealis/paragraph of one of kafka’s letters to his father/quote from “last days of magneto” with the artwork of briony marshall called “peaceful embrace”/quote from “wuthering heights” by emily brönte/quote from poem “the angry daughter” by janelles locket with a panel of “house of m”/quote from the book “ghost of my ghosts” by sol rios/quote from “x factor”/panel from “the trial of magneto”)

[visenyaism]

ASOIAF terrible fathers bracket FINAL ROUND: Tywin Lannister vs. Craster

after six long weeks, it is time to end this. thank you to all who have participated even if you went against my wishes and elected Craster to this final spot instead of Jaehaerys. I love democracy. 

Tywin Lannister: Inflicts extreme sexual violence onto all of his children even if it is through proxy, and sacrifices all of them to the feudal system while ensuring they will be unprepared to hold their own in it and dependent on him forever even after he dies. In terms of impact, his terrible fatherhood was so extreme that it needed to be deconstructed in an entire book, like it took 1/5 of the series to fully examine the ways in which Tywin Lannister’s toxic fascist parenting not only irreparably damaged his children, but also locked the entire realm in a perpetual cycle of violence that has killed hundreds of thousands of people. Tywin’s abusive fatherhood, and the failure of his entire legacy of abuse is a core theme of the series, especially the series is themes on gender violence, and familial patriarchal abuse, and its impact cannot be overstated. I have never claimed to be impartial. I think this is the right choice.

Craster: Marries his daughters and sacrifices his sons to the white walkers.

[not-equippedforthis]

why am i crying over space children. jake going against his father's orders just to teach nog how to read im bawling my eyes out. sisko being so proud of him at the end. oh my god.

[lucidloving]

Victoria Chang, "Obit" // Halsey, I Would Leave Me If I Could // Townie— Mitski // Agustín Gómez-Arcos, The Carnivorous Lamb (trans. William Rodarmor) // @yesindeeder on Twitter // Key Ballar, "On Fathers"

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

Something rubbed against his leg beneath the table. Jon saw red eyes staring up at him. “Hungry again?” he asked. There was still half a honeyed chicken in the center of the table. Jon reached out to tear off a leg, then had a better idea. He knifed the bird whole and let the carcass slide to the floor between his legs. Ghost ripped into it in savage silence. His brothers and sisters had not been permitted to bring their wolves to the banquet, but there were more curs than Jon could count at this end of the hall, and no one had said a word about his pup. He told himself he was fortunate in that too. His eyes stung. Jon rubbed at them savagely, cursing the smoke. He swallowed another gulp of wine and watched his direwolf devour the chicken. Dogs moved between the tables, trailing after the serving girls. One of them, a black mongrel bitch with long yellow eyes, caught a scent of the chicken. She stopped and edged under the bench to get a share. Jon watched the confrontation. The bitch growled low in her throat and moved closer. Ghost looked up, silent, and fixed the dog with those hot red eyes. The bitch snapped an angry challenge. She was three times the size of the direwolf pup. Ghost did not move. He stood over his prize and opened his mouth, baring his fangs. The bitch tensed, barked again, then thought better of this fight. She turned and slunk away, with one last defiant snap to save her pride. Ghost went back to his meal. Jon grinned and reached under the table to ruffle the shaggy white fur. The direwolf looked up at him, nipped gently at his hand, then went back to eating.

Jon I, AGOT

It's interesting that GRRM would dedicate several paragraphs to a seemingly unimportant exchange between a boy, his wolf, and an unfriendly third party. But there's just something about this passage that has continued to nag at me for years since I first read it because, considering how heavy handed GRRM was with the foreshadowing in AGOT, this feels important.

Jon is sitting at table full of squires - aka would be knights. We don't really know who they are or what families they belong to, but it's safe to assume that they come from a certain level of privilege; this is considering the fact that it cannot be financially easy to be a squire. And these boys already have a slew of tales detailing all their previous knightly exploits regarding "battle and bedding and the hunt" which suggests that they have some capital. So you have boys who will soon be men. And they will, presumably, become men of some power.

These lads eat their fill of the chicken until only half remains, which Jon then gives to Ghost. The direwolf's name is not so important here but what he represents is. Throughout the series, we're told that Ghost is reminiscent of the weirwood trees (because of his red eyes and white fur). He's stated to be of and from the Old Gods and since he's a personification of the weirwoods, he might as well be one of them. It's almost as if Jon is presenting whatever is left on the table to the Old Gods (Ghost). He lets them devour his offerings while he silently watches. And the motif of watching is so interesting here because it's kind of like Jon takes on a stewardship role - to watch over land/people/etc. He oversees Ghost eating the chicken, so he's overseeing whatever has been given to the Old Gods. This is not new imagery to his arc. As a brother of the Night's Watch and eventually its leader, we have several instances where he leads people to adopting the Old Gods in some fashion. In ADWD, several recruits swear their vows to the Old Gods while he watches on as their Lord Commander. The Old Gods are also primarily of the North and we're told that Jon has more of the north in him than his brothers; interesting that this also includes Bran. So perhaps whatever is being offered to the Old Gods relates to the North.

We must also note that Jon initially thinks to give only a small portion, a leg, before pivoting and providing the entire thing. It feels to me a bit like the process of carving up a kingdom or something similar. The lords (represented by the squires) take what they want and leave aside what they don't; or perhaps they have eaten to their fill and can take no more. Then when his time comes, Jon first considers a small piece of land/group of people before eventually absorbing all of whatever is left behind. The concept of carving up a kingdom rings harder considering that we have several callbacks to the ideals of kingship in this chapter. Robert, Jaime, Tyrion, and even Mance though we don't know it yet, all play into this. And then there's the aspect of Jon letting the chicken slip between his legs which evokes birth/fatherhood, a very curious choice when GRRM could've just had Jon place the chicken on the floor. So land/people are carved up and Jon then uses whatever is left to birth his own type of kingdom. And this kingdom is one for the Old Gods.

This also touches on something that has been quite prevalent throughout Jon's arc. It's the concept of accepting the "others" or "those left over" who live apart from the accepted social norms. Arya (a tomboy), Sam (a gender non-confirming boy), the Night's Watch (criminals, extra sons, and men who have no future left or place to go), and even the wildlings are all examples of this. And Jon takes on a leadership/paternal role to every single one of them. He looks after them as a leader would/should. Sometimes, in the case of Arya and the wildlings, he's equated to a king. He's a steward/shepherd/king. There's messianic undertones to this:

Come unto me, all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

If you're familiar with Judeo-Christian tradition, you'll know that Jesus is often personified as one who spent the majority his time among the outcasts. The idea is that he came to save them too and that anew kingdom (or new earth depending on your translation) would spring up after the end of the world where he would forever rule as king; which presents the idea of a final king after the earthly ones are done away with. Now GRRM isn't so heavy handed with Christian allusions as other authors out there, but he does have a Catholic background and Jon is so overtly a Jesus figure. And in Revelation, Jesus is king and god at the very end....

One last thing: the mention of the mongrel who challenges Jon has always been rather interesting but confusing to me. A mongrel doesn't really relate to one specific type of dog. But it's interesting that Jon notes several roaming about where he is. They follow the serving girls who carry the food to be offered. Mongrels are used to describe antagonist/villainous groups in ASOIAF. Sometimes, they're used to describe slavers in Essos. But what's interesting is that most of the time, they're used to describe Euron's Ironborn especially in Victorian's POV. So I don't think the mongrel who challenges Ghost is a supernatural threat of death (i.e., the Others) but rather a human one. They represent those who are called to the scene once the lords have finished playing their games. It almost feels like a feast for (carrion) crows....

But it doesn't really matter because this mongrel isn't much of a challenge for Ghost. Though the mongrel is much larger, the direwolf is able to fend her off very effortlessly. Given that "mongrel" is used to describe Ironborn raiders, could this exchange between Ghost and the mongrel point to reavers or sea raiders who rise and fail challenge Jon kingdom? There is a historical King Jon Stark who did this....

When sea raiders landed in the east, Jon drove them out and built a castle, the Wolf's Den, at the mouth of the White Knife, so as to be able to defend the mouth of the river.[1][2] His son, Rickard, followed him on the throne and annexed the Neck to the north.

ref.

So this might shed some light not only on Jon's already published arc, but also on what we can expect in the future. We have some foreshadowing through Jon's ADWD dream that he will not only rise with the dawn (thereby live through the Long Night), but will be in a position to lead people (wildings in that chapter) to a new peace after a hard fought war. Also remember that the wildlings, rather enthusiastically, swear oaths to him as if swearing oaths to their king. In this instance, the supernatural (a dream of the war for the dawn) is followed by the natural/human. So perhaps this particular passage (and Jon's dream) can be used to predict that Jon comes out on top, and quite effortlessly too, as a leader. And he becomes a leader who rules by association with the Old Gods; or rules a kingdom for them.

To end, I think it's of note that this passage immediately precedes Jon's conversation with Benjen where he voices his desire to go out on his own - the hero's call to action. This is the adventure that's going to kickstart his growth as a man, warrior and most importantly, a leader. So it looks like before we even began, GRRM telegraphed how it would all end in just three short paragraphs.

[cobbssecondbelt]

The differences between Din and Paz's relation with their foundling are quite interesting to observe.

Paz explicitly refers to Ragnar as his son, and Ragnar calls him ''dad'' without hesitation. We don't know how long they have been together, but they are family, there's no doubt about it for anyone.

Meanwhile, Din has had Grogu under his wing for 3 years, and despite their obvious bond and everybody else saying otherwise, he still refuses to acknowledge himself a parental figure. Even without the threat of having to hand Grogu away, Din can't quite yet let himself embrace the role of a father fully. Probably because he knows the pain of losing parents and knows Grogu will eventually lose him before he's even out of childhood, and therefore can't bring himself to this level of emotional vulnerability (even though his love for his foundling is evident), as other people have already mentioned.

Paz and Ragnar don't have that. Obviously nobody is safe from an early death, especially not Mandalorian warriors, but for them it is a risk, not a certainty. Din knows Grogu will outlive him by centuries. He knows he will only be a blip in his lifetime. And maybe he wants to protect Grogu from the great pain that inevitably comes with great love. Even if it's too late for that.

Din still has a long way to go and a lot of things to learn about loving. And think Paz can teach him plenty, without even realizing it.

[willowser]

aww you know, i actually really do like the idea of double boy dad bakugou 🥺

your first son being a little angel and you and katsuki are both perfectly satisfied, and then maybe another bug comes as a surprise a few years later and he turns out to be a heinous little menace — and katsuki didn't think he'd love having a brat of a child so much 🥺

[bored-gay-werewolf]

I think the most upsetting part about "actually, its Frankensteins MONSTER" is that that "monster" has a name

His name is Adam

Frankenstein named him smth really uncreative, biblical and on the nose but his name is still Adam

Adam isnt even particularly monsterous in appearance in the book (he just has really creepy yellow eyes)

Hes got a whole personality (hes a pretty street-smart, self-taught, crippelingly lonely kinda guy)

His deeds are as questionable but still interesting in a way that he shouldnt get dehumanised for (Adam after having been abandond in the wilderness as a metaphorical baby murders frankensteins brother Wilhelm, believing him to be frankenstein; a maid gets framed for the murder and then gets executed bc Frankenstein doesnt come forward about knowing it was Adam; after Frankenstein takes apart Adams unfinished wife essencially robbing him of his potentially only chance to be loved by an equal, Adam murders Frankensteins wife Elisabeth in retaliation; he later hunts Frankenstein down in the polar region, kills him and then dies himself)

...the kid is all over the place but to call him a monster instead of saying his name when people get it wrong feels weird

[mudstoneabyss]

I said I wouldn't mind the continual cycle of abuse angle if they actually executed it well but I lied. one of the main things desert bluffs and Kevin himself is about to me is perseverance despite it all, down to the sign off promising the existence of a "next time". and to me the Mudstone Abyss was about new beginnings and change and hope and meeting that overall theme of perseverance with, even if maybe not how you hoped, things will get better and it's worth that continuing on for. so this arc ending not with "I will do better" but instead "I will do the same" is. man.

[urne-buriall]

so maybe I'm thinking about our lights in ashes again, a fic about fatherhood and family and choosing not to let the past win

and it's not just turning away from one thing but turning towards another, doing the work and actively chasing the life you want to bring into reality

all from our lights in ashes, the southern gothic road trip dadfic with family, monsters, cosmic philosophy, and everything in between

[another-faceless-girl]

just started watching Arcane and like - i know silco isnt a good guy but it just like hes everything my father isnt protective and caring (in his own way ig) and like i know my father would never dream of doing anything like that and the whole theme of parenthood being the one thing that breaks everyone is (maybe) true i know my father would never and it just hurts cause these arent good people and on paper my father is better than them but he really isnt. he really really isnt

[oflgtfol]

theyre literally not searching for foreign life in interstellar though like theyre quite literally looking for planets that may be habitable for human beings. if there’s life already there is irrelevant other than that it could be a sign for human habitability. theyre quite literally not even thinking about aliens at all

[seefasters]

genuinely I think Ted should've quit his job to stay in America and parent his damn kids. No one should date his lame ass. Like you can tell too many men in power in media is a shit dad trying to make themsleves more likeable.

possibly however i'd like him to stay in england and coach richmond even more on the basis of i like it when he's being a nice coach to his team. fuck that child idgaf about him #deadbeatdadsforever

[eyepatchdate]

ok. i read tom king's mister miracle run and tbh? i don't think i vibed with it. but it DOES read interestingly as a proto-strange adventures though.

[princessamericachavez]

A different POV for the anon asking about was it meaningful Chris asking for Buck. If that was it, maybe no because correct Buck was who he was with. Although I can also point out Chris could have just as easily said my dad is a firefighter, Eddie Diaz. Way easier to find

But in that moment as a viewer it was a culmination of watching Buck desperately fighting for him. Eddie seeing this. Eddie coming to Buck to reiterate he trusts Buck the most with the most precious thing to him.

And now years later it only evolved, women came and went Eddie made him Christopher's gaurdian. The only thing missing from their relationship as a Canon couple is the sex!! And that's how you write a slow burn. If it was just an isolated incident that would solidify a bond it would be different. But this is storytelling and those small details matter

yes to all of this!!

[willowser]

I wrote this on my blog but I was wondering how you feel about it, Bakugo and on only child. Do you think it would be intentional or due to circumstance how would he respond to others saying something about it, what kind of things does he do with his kid ect. I want to write more about this but never really see anyone else talking about it. 🥺

hello dear !! you know — i have never really...pictured him as having more than one actually !! that's not to say that i couldn't imagine him having a few little kiddos, but, typically, when i imagine dad bakugou in my head, it's just with one 😌 i don't really have a reason for it, i think, but if i had to guess why i usually go with that thought is because i do see him as being a little older by the time he's having a baby bean, and i do typically headcanon him as — struggling with being a father LOL so in my head, maybe i just see him as feeling like one is enough for him !

as far as him being asked about it, hmm 🤔 tbh, i — feel like a lot of his friends would be unsure if he's going to have kids at all, so if he were to have one, i can't imagine anyone really saying anything about it ?? anyone that is close to him at least; being asked about it in, like, the media or by the public or whatever, i don't think he'd even give them an answer LOL but if he was asked about it by someone — like maybe his mother, or something — i think his answer would be very: *shrug* "'s'wrong with what i got?" LOL i genuinely think he could be totally content with just one, so he sees no reason to alter that reality for himself because — he's happy !!

and with him having just one, i think he'd do everything with them ! put them in all the sports and encourage them to try all the things ! i don't think he's the kind to spoil his kid too much but — i think he also grew up fairly well off, so they're doted on in a way that he's taking them on trips for the summer and no expenses are really being spared for the things he thinks they need, because that's just what he's used to ! what his parents did for him !

that's his little pal 🥺 his bud 🥺 and i always think of bakugou as the kind of person that feels lucky to have whatever he has when it comes to romance and love and you and family and friends, that he wouldn't think to ask for more 🥺