#theme: THEY MAKE ME FUCKING CRAZY
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walt reacting with disgust when jesse suggests they hang out together outside of the lab via the go-karting invitation vs walt desperately offering ed a giant hunk of cash just to stay with him for an hour longer when the latter comes to deliver his chemo.......ohh. the turns. and the tables..
#syd squeaks#the recurring theme of walt lambasting jesse for doing something and then doing something similar makes me crazy#him constantly insulting jesse for being a 'junkie' vs him getting high and weepy on painkillers on flynn's bday#even sparking up jesse's weed like 5 fucking minutes after being a priss abt jesse having smoked a bowl#breaking bad#have u guys. heard abt this
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Yeah its so weird. People act as if the reason dan left and the issue dnp had with privacy was that people shipped them and wrote fanfic. Outside of like 2011/12 when dan had a (in his own recount) freakout because people were clocking him, they did not give a fuck at any point about the shipping or the theories. That is clearer now than ever, as they have a whole tour based around it and are actively encouraging it because they find it funny. What they did care about was when people reached out to their friends and family, harrasing those peoples social medias, because they didnt choose to put themselves on the internet, dnp did. What they did care about was the fact that apparently some fans figured out where they lived and used that info to go to their first flat in london and knock on the door to talk to them. Like. Thats invading privacy. Looking at a twitter account that was and has been public for 15 years, and cross matching it with things that have been publicly said and posted is not breachibg privacy? Thats? Not the same thing???
lmao thank you lmao like? I'm convinced that anytime someone says "this is giving demon phannie we are going back to 2014 and they're gonna leave again" they were not actually here for that era bc like 😭😭 d&p have been clear they dgaf about theories, espc recently. ppl just have no media literacy when it comes to what dan said in BIG
but honestly even if ppl still don't like the research I honestly don't care they have the right to not like it, what actually pissed me off the most was that the ppl who were talking shit seemed to be operating under the assumption that the dan being philslion theory existed for forever, then d&p denied it so I came along and decided to disprove what they said after the fact. which is just not fucking what happened like the doc IS the theory. basically no one was saying it was dan before I posted all the proof, no one would have asked them about it if it wasn't for my posts 😭 if you're gonna shit talk me go ahead but at least have your facts straight first, it takes .5 seconds to see the dates I posted everything like lol
#seems to be a theme in my life rn one of my friends made me cry last weekend bc she was making baseless assumptions that I was#being completely selfish towards our other friend and as soon as I was like 'that's not what happened' she was like 'omg im so sorry I didn#have all the info' GIRL THEN WHY WOULDNT U JUST ASK ME???? RATHER THAN ASSUMING I FUCKING SUCK?#im sorry that's so off topic from this anyway#guys also the person who called me crazy is literally mutuals w/ me on twitter and they didnt even unfollow me 😭 like what#ask#anon#d&p#dan and phil#phan#philslion
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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from: thirteen by @anna-scribbles
art by me :)
start from the beginning // read the november chapter // read the most recent chapter (january)
hey listen. look me in my eyes. have you read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think if you want your life to be forever changed you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think if you are a person who is breathing and alive you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. thank you
#thirteen#miraculous ladybug#ml art#emilie agreste#adrien agreste#miraculous ladybug fic#ml fic#ml fic rec#my art#THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN HAUNTING THE INSIDE OF MY BRAIN EVER SINCE I READ THE NOVEMBER CHAPTER BACK IN NOVEMBER#now. listen. in an ideal world i would've done this way back in november but uhhhhhhh i don't know what happened. suddenly it was december#and now it's february! not sure how that happened. anyway my goal is to be making a piece of art for each chapter to convey#just how fucking INSANE this fic makes me feel. like how crazy and insane and awesomely constructed it is. anna just GETSSSS ITTTTTTT#(and is using her 'get it' ability to hurt me bodily)#like with every chapter i read i am just assaulted with this intense desire to Make An Image which is not really an impulse im used to#since i don't draw a ton but anna's voice is just so evocative of images in a way that just. inspires every creative impulse inside of me#i took forever to read the december chapter but the moment i read it i already had an idea of something i wanted to draw for it.#my idea is. well. complex for me to say the least but as i told anna i am determined to make my skills match whatever i need to do because#the way she writes it is literally haunting me it is shooting me with a gun it is so something i have no idea how to handle#except i guess to repeat her themes and ideas and imagery in a collage of sorts#i don't know that's what my october chapter comic felt like- a collage. and this one does too in a way even though it's very different#i just like connecting the dots. and then smashing the dots together in an image#anyway. read thirteen. it is changing me all the way down to the dna
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i think one of the things that makes toby fox's writing so great is his ability to tell a compelling narrative AND metanarrative at the same time. undertale isn't JUST about how people play games and the need for completionism, and it isn't JUST the main story that you play through. it's both! and both are equally important.
and i think the same will be true for deltarune. some people tend to think of it as black and white when theorizing, either focusing too much on the meta aspects without taking the actual plot and character arcs into account, or doing the opposite and saying that the meta aspects aren't important and won't end up being relevant to the story. it's both! it's always been both!!!
#and also the way he's able to weave those two narratives together has always been rlly impressive to me#like undertale is a fantastically written game that makes you care about its world and its characters#and that means that a lot of players will thus want more ut content after finishing the game#which will lead to them eventually playing the no mercy route#the entire theme of which being that desire to consume more and more ''content'' out of a piece of media#even when its boring/upsetting/''not worth it''#and also the fact that you will never be able to experience it exactly how you did the first time again#and your initial attachment/emotional response to it will change and become more distant no matter what#like. the way that hes able to create a compelling story and then ON TOP OF THAT create ANOTHER compelling story that comments#on how you experienced the first story??? its crazy its so good#and i cannot fucking wait to see where he goes w deltarune and that kind of thing#serena.txt#undertale#deltarune#utdr
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i love ryomina
no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.
it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.
ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.
minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.
the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.
minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.
it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.
november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.
it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.
how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.
ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.
he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.
SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.
and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!
so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.
messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!
even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.
march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.
and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.
p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.
ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!! god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!
i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#meta#long post#(literally)#HI SO UM YESTERDAY I COULDN'T FUCKING SLEEP so to cope i was like 'i will talk out loud about anything and everything'#and somehow that turned into me talking about ryomina out loud and something about verbalizing my thoughts made me feel crazy about these-#two again. i mean for the record i continue to love them always very dearly but like my p3 braincells sometimes go into hibernation bc-#ive been on a really huge splatoon kick. but anyway my voice was like cracking at 3am because i was tearing up#i was like 'THE!! IM! SO NORMAL ABT WHAT ORPHEUS AND THANATOS AND MESSIAH SYMBOLIZE' etc etc etc#so i kinda just went to sleep like 'ok well you GOTTA type it out. everyone needs to know about this.'#and um i didnt mean to make 1069 words! sorry! not really! but i love them!!! even if im very quiet these days!#ohhh how lucky i am to have had the chance to experience ryomina they are such a gem. they make me so goddamn emotional#they really mean a lot to me because of well. (gestures at the entire post) but also they came at a really good point of my life and FUCK!!#im so so grateful to them!!! i love them!!!! the themes that their relationship and characters convey just !! IM SO NORMAL ABOUT IT!!!#they've affected me so profoundly and deeply and i wish i could make better art to get this across. but its ok. one day i can. one day#they make me so fucking talkative like actually but um. i had a lot of fun writing this! i dont think ive had like. a proper appreciation-#post for them that articulates why i like them so much (unless you count the essays i write in my art tags) so it was nice to make this.#admittedly theres a lot abt p3 that im rusty on since its been a goodwhile since ive interacted with the source material#and in a way you could say that like. i need to renew my p3 license LMAOOO but god some parts of p3 still have such a huge death grip on me#and what i mean by that is that the big Fucking Events have such!! clarity!! in my mind!! i recall them and i wilt on the spot!!#oh god i cant fucking shut up. the tags are probably 500 words long. enjoy my ramble. i wish every ryomina enjoyer a Good Life <3#actually no. i hope that EVERYONE on the dash today has something that sparks joy for them the way ryomina does for me.#everyone deserves 2 have something that makes their brain do a little excited dance that makes them blow up and explode. its good for u!#BYE FOR REAL this is why i have to post my thoughts very spread out otherwise yall would have so many WORDS on ur dash pls help i have so#many emotions and i am so tiny i cannot possibly fit all the feelings i have about ryomina and other things inside my tiny little body
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i do have thoughts abt clara’s arc and ending i feel like part of her deal is that she seemingly wants to Be the doctor like she loves him but she also loves his life and what he represents and she wants that. she wants to be special she wants to help people she wants to be the smartest person in the room she wants to travel time and space and be free of boring normal life the two of them are so similar but she wants to be even more similar she wants to live his life. and in the end she gets to! she gets to fly around and adventure and she can do it. but she also gets the flipside which is being the one who remembers. being left behind. it means having to carry it all like if she wants to be him she has to do both
#makes me crazy. the lines the themes#what was it 12 said. that the only difference between them is that he’s harder to kill#clara said it’s not enough to fuck that old man i want to climb inside his skin and walk around#doctor who#twelveclara#cool b does cool things
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my list of pretentious art critic media that changedddd my brain chemistry like actually.
- the beginners guide
- its such a beautiful day
- the stanley parable (AND the demo.)
- swiss army man
- presentable liberty
- fight club
#and more. that i forget bc my memory sucks#ohhhh stanley parabel demo save me……#not even a contest. even tho its funny#ummm. best to quickly get into is tsp demo. its free and like 15 mins#and honestly yeah for me its as good as the full game#w the nature of tsp as a game the demo is completely different to the full version#different themes different setting. and not multiple paths#but ohhhhh my god its so so good.#if you do one thing for me ever pplssss pls play tsp demo.#rlly funny AND makes me cry. IN 15 MINS#tbg i wld rec to anyone who considers themself a creative of any sort#speaks so well to the experience of posting art online#swiss army man is REALLY weird. so i wldnt rec it to most ppl but it is super interesting#i rlly love the trans allegory interpretation..#fight club is like the most basic on this list but i like it. and its vaguely conplicated and Themey so it belongs#PRESENTABLE LIBERTY…. i have never even actually played#super artsy tho lol. ur stuck in a jail cell the whole game and get letters that tell u abt the world dying off from a plague (n capitalism)#hits very different after covid but its superrrr super good. CRAZY boring but its the point. lol#oh yeah thr actually stanley parable. one of my favs of all time. EVER#rlly funny. but also crazy fucking sad#the relationship between stanley and the narrator is super interesting and it makes me sad theres not more exploration of it in fandom outsi#outside shipping#in terms of ending a few of my favs r explosion.. phone#uhhh. space. and of course confusion#in terms of ultra deluxe i REALLY love the 2 endings. rlly dont like all the bucket endings#i think some are fun but it feels a little bit of a mean trick. promising so many more endings and then them all being just alt versions of#oh by 2 endings i mean the epilogue LOL. its been a while. but yeah all that shit was STELLARRR esp the skip button room#i cld make a whole post on my tspud thoughts. but yeah. i still prefer the original by far but the sequel/epilogue stuff is awesome#UM. think i deleted the tags for space isabd is sooo good but so draining. rlly rlly rough watch but so good. makes me bawl
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your blog has made me so much more competent with zelda lore
my greatest accomplishments with this blog have been making people play the games and making people Understand the games. i want more crazy people in the world so i dont look as insane
#dr doofenshmirtz ass plot. if i make more people crazy i will look less crazy by comparison.#fr tho GOOD. im happy to be of service#i think the reason a lot of the fandom is Like That is because the lore is so inaccessible that most fans dont care to learn or analyze it#which is totally fair! and thats partially why as someone who ENJOYS learning and analyzing it i like to talk about it!!#because lore SHOULDNT be hard to access and understand and fans SHOULD understand the themes and messages of the media they consume!#if i can explain it to people maybe it'll seem a little less daunting or maybe i just get to talk about it. either way it works out for me#because i fucking love talking and shutting the fuck up is my mortal enemy#asks#anyway. im in the middle of a fucking totk story quest rn. time to figure this shit out
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the character/story building tool of want vs need except it's roman roy's want for security and emotional repression and toxcity and to be controlled by someone else because he doesn't know how to be his own person formed into a character as mencken vs his need to be understood and seen and affirmed and allowed to be emotional and the freedom to be his unapologetic self without his family and company and legacy strangling him formed into a character as lukas. If u even care
#succession's writing makes me BONKERS CRAZY who thinks of these things#the way characters in media are usually formed around every possible perspective on a overarching theme#but in succession a lot of characters are formed to represent other characters internal turmoil#it's so fucking good#roman getting mad at lukas when he actually gets emotional in front of him and going back to mencken#vs mencken seeing him emotional and throwing him full force back at lukas#i know i talk about this all the time but it makes me CRAZY#crazy? i was crazy once#succession#roman roy#lukas matsson#jeryd mencken#romelukas#romencken#anyways#i don't even ship romencken like that i'm ngl i am not the biggest fan of it but the symbolism.. the duality..#i love foil dynamics
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I genuinely feel like I dont have a right at all to complain or talk negative about Japanese fans but like……..the evident cliqueish-ness of honestly what looks like a very unfortunate larger chunk of them ……😮💨
like i gotta be honest the concert was a lot more isolating than it actually already was in itself because of the vibes at least a couple of clusters of fans gave me
#ramblin but not a gamblin man#like there’s a point where the pretty fixed staring or being like….physically distanced by everyone just gets…..unnerving#like the train back was completely fucking packed#except for in the space in front of where i was sitting…..lol#there was room for at least two people to stand if only people had actually consolidated and scrunched#like they had been doing the entire motherfucking way through transit and back#but i guess fuck them they can wait for the next train??? sure that makes sense#like i have never felt MORE uncomfortable and self-conscious being a smap/takuya fan#he’s the only piece that actually matters at the con tho 🫰#i probably should have brought merch but i actually was not crazy about the con’s theming (it’s…giving a bit too parasocial for my taste)#and I didn’t even consider bringing gwtf or next destination merch but i probably should have#but it’s not actually /mine/ so then i would think about how everyone that has theirs maybe probably ACTUALLY went to the concerts#that was another thing tho which is absolutely stupid because the whole point of a con is to SHOW OFF the stuff#but it was actually like……..off putting to me…….#idk maybe it’s cuz i innately have a weird ‘relationship’ with smap/individual members in that they aren’t normal-level interests#it just wasn’t sitting right with me seeing hoards of fans with bags..shirts..hats..all kinds of stuff lol#and it’s so hard NOT to have a defense mechanism like ‘I wonder if that person likes smap or /just/ takuya….’#and ‘did you actually want to come to the concert or mostly/just because you think he’s hot/cool/etc etc?’#esp validating seeing TWO people yawn during the con which was genuinely pretty disgusting/distasteful lmao#like that’s worse than leaving early why are you EVEN HERE#sorry okay i could probably vent more but i actually shouldnt and also i might end up talking in circles but#he was genuinely…………so amazing im eternally grateful that i had the opportunity to see him live#and if there is a smap reunion………..#….i genuinely think smapchat should storm it#be our own ✨clique✨#(but like…actually nice and kind and probably how takuya would want his fans to be ie not thickly-layered judgment [heehee :3])#(im also actually kind of so serious ???)
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late Carlo and Moretti (during vinci-moretti war) are like Luca and Clemente to me. Moretti will never raise his hand on Carlo but! will he drive him into guilt in ways that are not direct? insult him in passing? convince Carlo that he's doing everything wrong, when in fact it's the opposite? of course such a painful kick to Carlo's ego, it's unfair, he doesn't deserve it. and it's not a father-son relationship, it's a professional relationship and he can't say anything back & defense himself in any way maybe Moretti's more favorable to Eddie in this period because he's more blindly loyal and Carlo feels he's about to explode
#^ i wrote it before that hounds thing but its about all this anger was once love etc#carlo who is a capo who has done so many terrible things for this place watching how eddie gets bonus points for blind loyalty: 😐#and it's not even that he's a capo it's that carlo says the right things but moretti dismisses him every time#also ok😬😬😬my truth! is that eddie really was against killing moretti at first#and when he finally decides to support carlo well. is it just a change of master? (yes)#m2#moretti family#and!#as far as i understand Moretti's murder took place just a few days before his victory? fucked up thing#i mean. it just makes Carlo an even shitty man. he chose himself over the majority#(i can't think about any war theme on a physical level at this point so. i have only abstract thoughts on this)#but objectively: moretti family may have gained control of the vinci family's territory of influence etc#instead they got a young crazy don. and everyone was alright w it (?!makes me think for what reason)#which is why i think there's been something wrong with Moretti in his last yrs. he looks much older thank frank n leo#for now he's just an old man stubbornly clinging to power to me. but not to say that i worked on his character much#i think he became weaker hypochondriacal and paranoid towards the end. “i saw his hands trembling” carlo bout moretti etc#“akela missed his kill!” and the young wolves tore him apart#ewwwwwwwwwww no Carlo who sees Moretti growing weaker and instinctively his teeth are bared more and more ewww#kill the weak and old so the young can survive😬😬 (fucked up thing is that they aren't animals they would survive w moretti in charge)#spoiled hounds parallel makes things so much complicated tbh. but it feels right
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assigning a character the highest honour like *adds go home by julien baker to their playlist*
#and by honour i mean pointing at them like TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED!#like yeah relating to this song is a red flag actually. yeah it's one of the most personal songs in the world to me#and i actively am not allowed to listen to it some days bc it makes me significantly worse#even if im in a GOOD mood because of the layers upon layers of emotions ive associated with it#yeah i literally wont even blorbo post to this song even if it's accurate to a character because it's so personal#so they have to be REALLY FUCKING SPECIAL AND FUCKED IN THE HEAD to get this honour. enter touya#i made him a playlist im going crazy like yeah actually of course i was always gonna be weird about him#like he's got fire themes. he's got body horror. he just wanted to be good. he's ethel cain coded. he's georgia coded#he's got mommy AND daddy AND sibling issues. he's the only other character ive let even come close to mary on a cross#he's a waiting room girlie. he's an archer girlie. im tearing my hair the fuck out of my scalp#why does the first character ive latched onto this hard since CHUUYA have to be from mha of all things#like that's embarassing for me im embarassed to be here. and yet#touya todoroki#the thing that makes me sick about touya is yes the abuse he went through via his quirk and his dad etc etc#but also bc sekota peak happened when he was 13 right? and he's 24 now? that's 11 years unaccounted for#like ik it's confirmed his burns put him in a coma for 3 years and all for one and the dr guy just stapled his stubborn self together#which is something else i will YELL MY HEAD OFF ABOUT WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HE WAS A CHILD STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT#but im pretty sure it's confirmed that after 3 years he goes off again on his own? which still leaves him as a teenager?#like he straight up burns himself alive at 13 wakes up at 16 and reappears at 24 with dyed hair and piercings and a bad attitude#and im not supposed to wonder? or get upset? like i absolutely am leaning into the 'he was on the streets' angle bc i hate myself#and that's devastating and also what alternative is there logically like he has NOTHING#no home no money no name that he can feasibly use not even an appearance that will warrant anything but more cruelty#so youve got this child on the streets with injuries that absolutely cause insane amounts of pain daily he's literally STAPLED together#and he's completely alone and the only thing getting him through is this growing hatred and rage#like id set all my plans around killing the guy that put me there too actually just to fucking get me out of bed in the morning#I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. WHERE WAS HE FOR THE PAST DECADE. HORIKOSHI PLEASE#I WANNA GO HOME IM SICK THERES MORE WHISKEY THAN BLOOD IN MY VEINS MORE TAR THAN AIR IN MY LUNGS#PIERCE MY SKIN NEEDLES TO WORN OUT RAGS THE FOLDS IN MY ARMS THE SICKENING BLACK AND I HAVENT BEEN TAKING MY MEDS#I KNOW MY BODY IS JUST DIRTY CLOTHES IM TIRED OF WASHING MY HANDS GOD I WANT TO GO HOME
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I feel like nothing they ever release is going to beat Shadowbringers for me. That expansion was like….catered for me
#It just makes me crazy start to finish. I can still remember the visceral emotional state I was in at the start in lakeland with the#beginning notes of the theme playing and when I first walked into Amh Araeng and Sands of Amber is playing and the sky is bright as fuck and#the crystallized wall of light is in the back UGHHH#I FUCKING LOVE AMH ARAENG#It also hands down has the best theme imo. I love you Shadowbringers theme
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love having a fantastic outing and then u come home and that happiness is shattered within minutes of entering through the door 🙃
#oddity.txt#we did this western / cowboy themed escape room where we were in jail and needed to break out#super fun!!! we also all had lunch afterwards#as part of the escape room we had this funny lil picture of us where we all had to make “angry” faces#then it was put on a wanted poster which showed up in the escape room after we broke out of our cells#tbh i didn't know what i was doing with my face but it was meant to be stupid and silly!#my mum wanted to see the picture so i showed her#before i got it up she said maybe show my dad because my dad doesn't rly know what my bf looks like#when she saw it she made a face and said “oh maybe don't show him that...... you all look looney...... like crazy people”#?????? and i obviously look offended and she laughed and said “i didn't mean it rudely” like what other fucking way did you mean it?#learn to shut your fuckin mouth sometimes#trying not to think too much about it but it pissed me tf off lmfao
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no because taylor spent so long singing about how terrified she was that joe would leave her. i wake up screaming from dreaming one day i'll watch as you're leaving and life will lose all its meaning for the last time. who could stay? daring you to leave me. and in the end she had to be the one to leave, to save herself. because every breath feels like rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there. but as she was leaving, it felt like breathing.
#shoulda known i'd be the first to leave. think about the place where you first met me.#there's also such a theme of playing games and calling each others bluffs and in the end she wasn't bluffing....#why do men do this. why do they refuse to leave. why do they make YOU be the bad guy?#like WHY can't you just fucking leave if you don't love someone anymore#just leave. just LEAVE.#see this is why i can't fucking listen to ttpd without going crazy i start thinking too much#about MEEEEEE#and MY LIFE!!!#lyrics
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