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fabllama02 · 8 years ago

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I suddenly had the urge to write, when i finally stepped out of my house to go out. Of course, we did go out a few thousand times. But that was usually for a business matter, like school activities, visiting hometown. This had been a quite busy year lately. Exams are waiting around the corner and your not sure if you��re ready to accept your fate just yet. You want to try new things, writing was one of mine, i want to create a blog, especially to post whatever beautiful vomits i could make. It had been hard, but i did it because i want to and that kept me going.

We passed a few more buildings and saw a more smaller restaurant that were slowly improving itself. I didn’t feel much, just the soft chatter between my parents as i sat myself at the backseat. I’ve always preferred to sit at the back on the left side beside the window. I want to see the outside view of the world with my earphones on. I currently dont have those right now, seems they have mysteriously disappeared. Now, as i stare out the window with the soft chatter in the background, i’ve never felt more relaxed. Exams are no longer in mind as i stared at the cloudless sky, just like my thoughts; empty.

Soon, bigger roads were starting to show and more cars filled up the gap. Not as many and not as little, just right on a slow Saturday night. I recalled the shops that passes by in my line of sight and wondered why most of them were closed. In my opinion shops would have more customers if it would still be open at night. At this topic, i remembered the conversation i had with my father, long years past.

“Father?” Asked me, hints of childlishness lingers in the voice of an 11 year old.

“Yes, what is it?” His eyes focused on the front but the question was pointed to me.

With the childlish idea of a child who seemingly had never been tarnished, spoke, “Why does the shops always close at night?”

Father smiled with all the gentleness and sweetness of a parent, “Well, to get their rest of course! Shop owners needed their sleep to continue their work early tomorrow.”

I looked down and did a pout, just the small tucked bottom of the lip, “but, why?” I looked outside, seeing all the beauty that glows in the night starry sky. “It would look more pretty and bright..”

Father just smiled and let my mind wonder.

Looking back at it, my opinion would never change even as i grew up. More and more perspective i woud see and opened up my mind a little bit more as years passed by. But still, that small image of the bright shops with colourful lights that lit up the dark night would always linger.

In small ways, i would still be a child at heart.

Traffic lights passes by; green, orange and red. Finally, the faraway image of a tall building shows up and my head tilted up at the tall sight. Wow. Beautiful. I gapped like a fish. I can’t help it. Sure, i saw the sight plenty of times, but i just cant seem to just. Just. Its still beautiful and mesmerizing to see no matter.

This part is the bigger part of the city; the more busier and modern part. I just saw a residental area, filled with square shaped houses. Painted with black and white colour, tall glasses glinted back reflections of the interior. Wow. How many times do i have to say this. At the sight of these beautiful designs and architecture, i can’t help the small feeling that grows in me, proudness that i felt for my country grew. Despite its troubles in politics and such, the city itself would never stop improving.

I gapped in awe, lights would reflect off my glasses. My eyes probably looked too wide, like a kid that found the biggest toyshop, ever.

Still, as much as i loved and adore these parts, the small introverted part of me would prefer the much quiet areas. Like my home, theres not too much shops, not too much customers and not too much lights. Its more of an office area, which isnt that busy actually. I loved the bigger and modern yet the quiet and peaceful areas. I am a lover of both bigger and smaller parts. Both are needed in my parts of life. I don’t want to spend my life cooped up in a room yet i don’t want to spend too much of my energy being in a big city. I loved the lights that fills up the night sky yet i loved the originality of the moon’s beam and stars. Yes, both. Both is good.

Similar to this topic, matters of choosing a car to sit in would be similar. My eldest brother bought a new car; beautiful, sleek and white. Modern at its finest. I saw the three of my brothers entered the new car and i want in too, but i looked at the other car. Passengers are my parents and my fourth brother. I followed my walking instincts and surprisingly chose the latter. My fourth brother looked scandalised before saying, “If you choose to stay here, i will go to other car then!” Immediately sprinting out and running towards the white car with unimaginable speed; no doubt wanting to be there from the start. I guess his mind thought that giving me a seat there would be nice, a more of a gentleman thing to do.

I sighed as i relaxed againts the old leathers. No offense but sitting there with all of my brothers? No thanks. I mean, i love my brothers, but the thought of sitting with them and engaging myself in awkward conversations would be a pain. Its not that we hate each other, no we don’t. Its just that… Finally able to spend time with your family after a long trip of studying overseas for 10 years or having college or university needs to attend to, its just hard to find time with your family again. This year, this year is finally that year. My eldest brother had finished his studying and so did my third brother, currently settling themsleves with official jobs. The second one is in his last year and is making it his best. The fourth is still studying, far away from home i might add, but is on his holiday break. And lastly, me, finally out here with open mind and all the awareness of a teenager. I did spend time with them in the past but all of that are just blurry childhood memories that im abviously not living in anymore. I’ve grown, had gotten myself into more situations and had learned a lot of stuff. I am generally a shy girl, even mere so in public. Especially with my family, but lately, i’ve shown improvement myself. I tend to speak more, i made the effort to smile and joke more around their presence. I want to shove down those shy personality and show them what a real person i can be. I want to fill my brother’s holiday break with fun and jokes and happiness they could remember when they go back to their daily routines. Because sometimes, we would fight and they would went back to their routines right after a fight. And we realized that the distance between us grow more and more bigger if we leave it like that behind, until the next time we meet. I hate that. So, i stopped being so quiet and tried to be more open. All of them are different persons with different personas, i made the effort to understand them all. People probably didn’t know but im very empathatic, i know when they’re angry, annoyed or any kind of emotions. The slight shift of stiff shoulders down to the bright smiles that they would send. I recognize it all. Which is why small communications, small gifts and small interactions always meant bigger to me, more than anything you could ever think of. I always made the effort, but sometimes i could be tired too.

I watched more and more buildings and amazing structures pass. Before finally entering the right shop corner and the place here was amazing. The building’s structures would always amaze me. The place is bright with white pristine walls and clean roads with fancy new and old cars parking at the side. My father said something about “the place being very big yet quiet and had this serene and calm atmosphere”. He’s right tho. It is calm compared to the other similar places that i’ve been.

We got out and start our hunt, looking for the right restaurant to eat. We stood at the communal area of the shop corner, walking by with endless compliments about the place being “so pretty” and “so fancy” like “wow, look at that lake over there”. We’re not the only excited family to enter the place it seems. Childrens run by with their parents carrying a toddler of a 4 years old. Cousins, nephews and families alike would smile and laugh; looking at the other with their knowing smiles. The place feels so comforting and alive at night, im letting myself being bathed into these comforting presence of others with a soft inhale.

We walked past a few more restaurants and shops while chattering idly and laughing at silly jokes. Not minding a bit about other presence being in the same room. We have our own bubble.

We found a restaurant, an arabic cuisine. My mother’s favourites. The restaurant was near the lake. We could see it from where we stood by the restaurant’s entrance. Making a choice to sit outside or inside, we chose outside. Father said “we could feel the outside a bit more if we do!” The walkway at thelakeside however, had these beautiful small lighting-up cars (or is that bycicle?) that drive themselves around the lake. A car even turned Ed Sheeran - Shape Of You on. I immediately fell in love. Humming myself to the song, i sat down at the very end of the long table. (I discovered the song from a meme, thats why i love it)

We placed our orders and waited for the foods to arrive. Conversations broke out and i find myself tapping on the screen to write more and more of this situation. We waited longer and i realized that my ekdest brither is missing, turnign to my mom i asked, “where’s bro?” And she nods shrugs and looked around. After awhile, i noticed that he must’ve been taking pictures with his phone. Damn photography instincts. I made a mental note to ask for his photos later. What. He took beautiful pictures.

Orders are starting to arrive at our table and they began to eat. Only mine had yet to arrive. (Along with my eldest brother, but i didnt notice that yet.) I whispered, “i think i have been forgotten by the waiter.” to my mother as i stole her meat. She laughs at that and slides the plate a little more to my side. “You can steal my grilled meat later when it arrives.” She laughs even more. I dipped the meat into the chili sauce and moans at the spicyness. I mentioned that i liked eating more spicy foods now.

I sipped at my Banana and Milk and recieved a crepe with stuffings on the inside from my father. I accepted it and ate it. At first it was fine, until i bite the green chili. That sunavabiscuit- i sipped the banana milk like my life depended on it. My family stared, amused at the sight of the banana milk being consumed out of sheer will. “You should really save that for later when you meal arrives.” I look scandalised at the comment before pushing the drink away. It took not even a second before the burn in my tongue starts to rekindle back to life and the slurping begins. My family is forever amused and i am not. I looked at my father with this image of a betrayed young lady, and mumbles, “i am betrayed…” He laughs, eyes twinkling in laughter, and asked softly “Why? Is it too spicy?” I squint harder, “Green chilies are my enemies.” He looked shocked before looking back at the stuffing, “huh, you’re right there are green chillies in here.” Though the eyes never stopped twinkling. I have never doubted a sentence so hard in my life. Liking more spicy foods now, tch, yeah right.

More comments and jokes being passed around the table, the plates are starting to look empty of food. The waiter finally arrived with two plates. One for me and the other for my eldest brother. What a coincidence that we both ordered grilled meats. Only he ordered beef and mine was chicken. My hunger and impatient shows through the way i gobbled up the food in my mouth, set of utensils being ignored. The only excuse being, “I don’t need these.”

Amused glances now and then, what is this, the Amusement Park? My mother stole a piece of the meat and i looked at her with betrayal, “You stole it.” She laughs and said, “You stole my meat earlier, you know.” I looked at her through my squinting eyes, “From what i recall, i asked at least more nicer than you did and you let me.” She laughs even more at that.

Our meals finished and i ended up sharing it with my father, i don’t really eat the Roti. I searched for a bowl of soup left on the table and found one, only a quarter left. I poured it over the dry meat and ate it. Much better. My father saw this and looked around the table before reaching for a bowl of more soup. He poured it at my chicken and i’ve never been more in love. We continued eating, him commenting about how the chili sauce tasting really weird. I agreed saying that “It tasted more like it came out of a bottle from a convenience store.” My mother looked confused, reaching in for a taste and i shielded the the sauce, “Don’t mom, its really really weird, you do NOT want to taste it.” She just reaches in for the garlics and ate it.

The meals finally finished and i got up to wash my hand. At the entrance of the door it says ‘pull’ when i was about to push. Daring me to do otherwise. I groaned out a, “Fine, i will pull.” and walked in. “Even if the push woulda been the same…” I grumbled.

I walked out to the table and sat down. I immediately saw people holding comes of ice cream and i got up. “Mom, are those free ice creams? Can i get them?” My mother shrugs and lets me buy it if i want to. I went around the table and instead of the ice cream stand, i walked to my eldest brother instead. “Bro,” he hums a “What do you want human?” I looked at the ice cream stand seriously, “Are thos eice creams free?” He laughed when he looked up, “Sis, nothign in thsi world is free, its a fact.” Nonetheless i still looked at the ice cream stand in determination. “Im gonna check it out.” I started walking and he said to stop and i did. “You want to buy them?” I nodded. “If its not free..” He took out his wallet and handed me some money, “Go buy it with this.” I took it and turned back to the ice cream stand, mumbling again, “if its not free..”

I eneded up ordering the biggest one.

Walked back to the table and shoves the ice cream at my third brother’s face and says smugly with so much pride, “Don’t be jealous.” He looked at the ice cream, mouth agape. “Woah, dude. Share some with me man.” I extend it to him but he refused, “Nah, nevermind, im too full.” I shrugges and continued licking as my mother and my brother continues to take pictures as they comment about the ice cream.

Later on, when we walked back to our cars. My excitement immediately replaces itself with sorrow and sadness. This is it. I walked a bit more slower. Its over. I looked down on the ground. The nights over and we’ll be back to our daily routines. I sighed and watched my family chats idly with each other. Smiles broke out and laughters were heard. I smiled softly at the image. I liked watching moments liek this from afar. I don’t care if im not in the picture, just watching them is enough for me. I sighed.

I just… I wished this night would stay a bit longer. Its a normal night out, really. But, seriously, to me. Its more than that.

I just… Really want this moment to stay.

I looked up and remembers that moments dont always last forever, the world would always move on.

So i took the moments and cherish them in my heart. As small as it may seem to others. I looked at the cheery smiles on their faces. It means a whole lot to me.

I thought, “Hey, maybe the lost earphone wasn’t so bad after all…”

(I know, its long. But who cares. shrugs i sure dont.)

#i tried #family outing #i love and joke and smile #sceneries #beautiful nights #bright lit shops #families

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