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phoenixwatchesmovies · 10 months ago

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What I'm Watching: March 2024

New look, same round up. I made the mistake of watching too many things I have things to say about. Time to ramble about Wolf Creek, Penguin Town, The Woman In Black, In Our Own Time, Sinister, Alone, Repo! The Genetic Opera, and Cowboy Bebop: Knockin' On Heaven's Door...

Wolf Creek (2016-2017)

An anthology series which centers on different characters being targeted by crazed serial killer Mick Taylor in the Australian outback.

Just started season two, and I gotta say, I'm impressed. I wasn't sure how they could get an entire series out of such a basic premise, and to be fair, they didn't. They just expanded on the original concept. I've talked before about how consistent things are across the franchise in terms of production quality, and that's still true. If absolutely everything else about this show sucked balls, it's still gorgeous to look at. Well, minus a few moments of torture and violence and whatnot. It's toned way waaayyy down from the movies, but it is still Wolf Creek. I've adopted Eve Thoroughgood, and there's nothing you can do about it. As far as season one is concerned, secondary characters have a tendency to come full circle while also feeling like ships in the night compared to the main story, and I really like that. A lot. It's cool. Season two felt like a half step down for about five minutes, but the conclusion of episode two made me put down my crocheting and gawk, so take that as you will. Though, full disclosure, everything that felt super quiet in the first episode was spent on getting to know the new season's cast and that moment in the second wouldn't have had the same impact if I hadn't already spent time with these people, so it's calculated...kinda like the first act of the original movie. See what I mean about consistency? And after thinking about it, everything that feels repetitive or recycled in the series only feels that way because I've seen the movies, so again, calculated. You can come into the former without knowing anything about the latter and not miss a beat. If you are coming on from the movies, tho, it's probably for Mick, so let's discuss. He gets just enough backstory for certain moments to have more weight, but other than that? He's Mick. On the surface, an amiable, likeable guy with a sometimes iffy sense of humor who also happens to be a sick, perverted, depraved individual. And it's not like your first impression is wrong, either, which is the freaky part. He's climbing the ranks of my favorite villains due in large part to how grounded he is. He's someone you could meet any day of the week, or *gulp* when you're stuck on the side of the road and need a helping hand. Scary as hell, but also so much fun to watch.

Penguin Town (2021)

In a picturesque South African town, an eclectic group of endangered penguins flock together to find mates, raise families and mix with the locals.

K, so this isn't actually from the series I'm talking about, but those are indeed jackass penguins, so close enough. What do you want me to say about this? It's a nature documentary about penguins. It's free serotonin!

The Woman In Black (2012)

A young solicitor travels to a remote village where he discovers that the vengeful ghost of a scorned woman is terrorizing the locals.

Someday, I'll read the book and watch the og movie. Until then, why are all of my favorite horror movies about dead kids? No, seriously! Second, this is the third time I've watched this one, and my hands were still shaking by the end of it. Strike that. The cold sweat started about 45 seconds in as soon as those girls in the attic abandoned their toys, walked to the windows, and jumped. Then between the dark as hell subject matter and spooky as hell atmosphere established by the visuals and the sound design, it didn't really stop until the movie was over. I try not to watch this one too often so it stays effective in the creep factor department, but it might call for further study as far as photography goes, because this movie is very pleasing to look at. The village, the marsh, Eel Manor House itself, are all good on their own but also filmed well. The house and grounds in particular are *chef kiss* Shadows everywhere, framed in such a way you're sure there is something in them, and yet nothing is ever so dark you can't see it. Remember when movies used to do that? The whole look is everything you imagine when you hear the phrase "Victorian Gothic" and again, *chef kiss* I realize I've been slacking when it comes to keeping up with Daniel Radcliffe flicks, so remind me to do something about that. Dude sells the exhausted, grieving widower for sure, but also the resolve to see through whatever task is set before him. Not that he has much choice, because the stakes are high no matter what he does and every available course of action has immediate and dire consequences. Additionally, this reminded me I've also been slacking on J horror, because the vibes are very similar (at least, in my very limited experience with the genre). It's less about the spirit doing the haunting and more about the haunting itself. Nothing will sate Jennett's need for vengeance, not even being reunited with her lost son. The whispering throughout the house after Arthur and Sam leave it for the last time isn't just a threat, it's a curse. The only scene that matches the first for me is the last. It's eerie and tragic and bittersweet and horrifying, and I still look away from the final shot. *shudder*

Bee Gees: In Our Own Time (2010)

"In Our Own Time" is a new film on the long and illustrious career of the legendary Bee Gees, from their modest beginnings to unrivaled worldwide success in the "70's to the tragedy of losing their brothers Maurice and Andy. The story is told "in their own words" by Barry and Robin from extensive new interviews, and the film also includes archive interview footage of Maurice, videos, TV appearances and live performances.

I'm not even a documentary person, and I've seen this twice. Not too much to say about it other than that. If you're a Bee Gees fan and haven't seen it already, what's wrong with you? If you just like music/documentaries/etc, it's a good watch. With awesome tunes.

Sinister (2012)

A controversial true-crime writer finds a box of Super 8 home movies in his new home, revealing that the murder case he is currently researching could be the work of an unknown serial killer whose legacy dates back to the 1960s.

Going into this aware of its reputation and now having seen it for myself, I've got to hand it to this crew. Getting the audience in survival mode right off the bat, then keeping them there throughout, then making shit jump out at them is a hell of a way to make an anxious movie. My fight or flight responses kicked in every time Ellison watched a new reel, so by the time the jump scares started, I actually jumped. Bad stuff first: I didn't really care for the delivery of the supernatural elements. Specifically, the possessed kids showing up and looking so literal threw off my equilibrium after everything leading up to them was so atmospheric. That goes double for the Bughuul jump scares. They feel cheap and unearned compared to, say, the lawnmower. And this isn't a criticism, but GOD, this movie was depressing as shit. Hard not to be, given the thematic content and the ending (barring the aforementioned literalness of the supernatural), and that's probably the main reason why I won't revisit this much. Because the good stuff, is Good Stuff. The script is concise, the performances are engaging, the look and sound is fucking creepy. The soundscapes sound like nightmare fuel, and the few times the camera cuts away from a snuff film to focus on Ellison's reaction underlines how horrific it is. "It feels like something you shouldn't be watching," etc etc. See above where I talked about Woman In Black being lit where you can only see what you need to and everything else is left dark. And obviously, gotta discuss Ellison himself. I recently saw him included in a bracket of worst horror husbands, and I would agree. All I'm saying is, none of this would have happened if he hadn't moved his family into a crime scene to further his career. To his credit, he did eventually recognize he was in over his head, and it's not his fault he didn't know trying to pull the plug was going to make things so much worse, but still. Smooth move, pun intended. From another standpoint, Ethan Hawke sells it. The guy is just trying to provide for his family while also doing what he loves, and there is just enough time spent showing how much this family loves each other, even if they don't always like each other. Makes the ending that much more tragic. Particular details I want to grind up and snort: the look on Ellison's face when he realizes what he's watching, the shot of the reflection of the burning car in his glasses, and everything about Deputy So and So.

Alone (2020)

A recently widowed traveler is kidnapped by a cold blooded killer, only to escape into the wilderness where she is forced to battle against the elements as her pursuer closes in on her.

...yeah, this was basically Wolf Creek and Hush, but with a weaker script, less compelling characters, and a lot more rain. Not that it's not good, just that it's so similar I can't help but draw comparisons and ultimately prefer the other two. It's way less brutal than the other two, though, so there's at least that, and Jules Wilcox makes a great final girl. Still, she's no Maddie Young, and serial killer guy whose name I already forgot is no Mick Taylor. I'm not going to dwell too much on this one, as I don't have much else to say about it. It looks great, like if Wolf Creek was set in the woods, and the climax was exciting, like if Hush was set even more in the woods. It had positive reception, or so I've read.

Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

A worldwide epidemic encourages a biotech company to launch an organ-financing program similar in nature to a standard car loan. The repossession clause is a killer, however.

Let me give you my best friend's sales pitch for this: "Do you wanna watch Rupert Giles, Paris Hilton, the girl from Spy Kids, and actual honest to god OG Christine Daae go on a musical journey through a cyberpunk dystopia?" This movie is... hmmm... Well, here's the thing. It looks cheap but also so extra. The music sounds like it was written by angsty middle schoolers but also goes so hard. The premise is grisly but the delivery is completely batshit. And I loved every. Damn. Minute. I was on the fence for the first thirty minutes and asked myself several times, why the fuck am I watching this? It's taking itself so seriously and it's so over the top, and then it hit me, DUH. It's an OPERA. Once I connected those dots, I was fully invested and having a ball. If I'd been stuck on this when I was younger instead of, say, Phantom of the Opera, I 1000% would have turned out very differently. Which is an extra funny observation, because Sarah Brightman factors in either way, and I love her so much. "Things You See In A Graveyard" is my favorite number here purely because of her wailing ominously in the background. And I say it takes itself so seriously, but it also knows exactly what it's doing. Everything we see only happens because some goth dude starts yelling in a cemetery. Paris Hilton, Bill Moseley, and...other sibling whose actor's name I forgot have an entire number about their rivalry while at least two thirds of them are literally getting new faces. Survival is gatekept by the wealthy to the point where poor people are murdered by a system that forces them into debt in the first place. Oh wait, there's tonal dissonance between all of those things, you say? Don't worry, you've got an hour and a half to get used to it.

Cowboy Bebop: Knockin' On Heaven's Door (2001)

A terrorist explosion releases a deadly virus on the masses, and it's up to the bounty-hunting Bebop crew to catch the cold-blooded culprit.

Despite knowing the series, this is the first time I've ever actually watched the movie, and of course I loved it. It feels like an extra long episode, which means they did it exactly right. As far as I can tell, I've only got two gripes: one, there is some ambiguous/implied/questionable shit that goes down between Faye and the Big Bad that feels way waaayyy out of place, considering there is no precedent for anything like it in the series and I'm wondering why the addition was necessary. Two, I waited all movie to hear "Tank!" (the exclamation point is important) and it was all in vain. 😔 Other than that, it's all business as usual on the Bebop, and that's all I could ask for.

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Whew! See you next month!

#watch a thon 2024 #wolf creek #penguin town #the woman in black #bee gees #sinister #alone 2020 #repo! the genetic opera #cowboy bebop

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meiiodyy · 3 years ago

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#my sense of humor is stuck in 2012 #vegaspete #kinnporsche the series #VegasPete meme

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mtsainthelens · 3 years ago

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#my sense of humor is so stuck in 2012 that this actually made me crack up #this is the imdb page for skeleton btw

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krunkidile · 3 years ago

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From 2012 to 2015 when I was 11 - 14 I consumed a lot of sfm. I subbed to nearly all of them. I realized how many I forgotten over the years, but your animations always stuck with me. You had such a unique sense of humor and animation style. From all that glitter, to the numerous amazing team service annoucements. My siblings stopped playing the game years ago but i can still quote your stuff and they'd remember.

Also I was going through my music playlist and realized that nearly a third of it was songs from your animations or songs from artists I found from your animations lol

I'm glad I tried to keep the soundtracks of those videos diverse and good, and started before copyright strikes mutated and grew out of control.

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sesskagarchive · 4 years ago

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Hello! Do you have any recommendations for fics where Sesshomaru spends time/interacts with Kagome while in his dog form? Have a lovely day mods!

Thank you for the ask, Anon, and sorry for the wait!

Some of these fics are in the category of Sesshoumaru is cursed/stuck in the form of a dog. Not sure if that’s what you were really looking for but I decided to include them anyway.

Thank you so much for everyone on Discord who shared their recs and helped make this list! 💖💖

- Admin Chie

A New Leash on Life by ForgettableFox

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Sesshomaru, an Inugami, has lived for over five hundred years protecting his master’s shrine and sacred mountain. When the final descendent of the shrine passes away – he finds himself suddenly unfettered and free to wander the earth. How does a creature once bound by so much loneliness find the will to continue to live? An accident involving a young woman changes his life forever. A Sess/Kag AU that takes place in modern day. Status: WIP

Accidentally Funny by Kanna37

Posted on: Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Sesshoumaru has joined up with the tachi - but Kagome really isn't prepared for the daiyoukai's twisted sense of humor. Who knew he even had one? Interrelated one-shots that will have no set updating schedule. Best Humor, Third Place, Second Quarter, Best Drabble, Second Place for Chapter one, Second Quarter. 1st Best Romance Other at the FA 1st Quarter 2011. 1st Best Humor/Parody Dokuga 1st Quarter 2011.

Canis Familiaris by Tally Mark

Posted on: FFnet Rating: M Summary: There's something strangely familiar about Kagome's new dog. Sess/Kag. Status: Abandoned

Caught In a Moment by Royal blueKitsune

Posted on: Spark Rating: MA Summary: N/A Status: One Shot

Changed Body, Changed Heart by Rlmpcc110511

Posted on: FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Sometimes what we need the most, is what we expect the least. Sometimes what we need the most, we don't even want. It is the willingness to accept, grow, and change with this unwanted need that shows the type of being you are, the strength you carry. Sesshomaru learns this hard truth the hard way, and the with the help of a little miko. Status: WIP

Dog At Heart by Tally Mark

Posted on: FFnet Rating: T Summary: He's a dog at heart. The daily modern misadventures of a girl and her demon. SessKag drabbles.

E Pluribus Unum by Drosselmeyer

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: When winning against Naraku takes everyone from them, Sesshoumaru and Kagome find themselves suddenly thrust together and trying to survive their grief as they figure out how to get rid of the completed jewel and move on with their lives.

Heeling Spirit by Cakeiton

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: T Summary: Kagome runs into an uncommon pack of dogs with a frighteningly familiar alpha. Status: WIP

Living with an Inu by The'Edge'Of'Insanity / On.The.Edge.Of.Insanity

Posted on: Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Some drabbles of Kagome's daily struggles of sharing a condo with Lord Sesshomaru, who sometimes tends to take on the qualities of a real dog. Mostly humor. Rated MA for some adult situations. Status: Abandoned

Lonely Hearts by Chie

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: T Summary: It all began with a single casual, innocent touch. Status: One Shot

Love is Blind by Hairann

Posted on: Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: My gift for Madison for the 2012 Dokuga Holiday Exchange. Divergence after first battle in Inu no Taisho's tomb. After being abandoned by Inuyasha, Kagome tries to make her way home only to run into Sesshoumaru stuck in his canine form and learns that only she can understand him. Status: One Shot

Pound Puppy by Danyelle-sama

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Cursed, Sesshomaru is stuck in his beast form and caught by the dog catcher Status: One Shot

Second Chance by Striking Falcon

Posted on: Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, is betrothed to a miko with a dark side. When Sesshoumaru declares in front of the wedding party that he doesn’t love the miko, she curses him. Fast forward to 2003, when Kagome is driving home from work. She accidentally runs over a pure white dog with golden eyes. She names him Chance, after being given another chance at life. Will ‘Chance’ finally get the life that was taken away from him in hatred?

Secretly A Prince by Sesshoumarusama33

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: MA Summary: **COMPLETE** A life of secrecy - Kagome, a daughter of a wicked and jealous mother, secretly cares for a wounded white dog she found while running her daily errands. A life of shame - A Great Prince tricked into a smaller version of his demon self, hides from his Kingdom and silently waits for death. The pair unexpectedly meet, and even after he has recovered, Kagome finds herself drawn to this beautiful creature and continues to seek his company, revealing parts of her horrid life with him. A story told in 100-300 snippets.

Silver & Gold by Sage McMae

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Kagome finds a wounded stray in the park and takes him in. Seemingly indifferent to her, the dog serves as a quiet companion who eases her loneliness. He becomes a constant in her routine until one night changes everything. Kagome wakes up to an arm draped around her waist — a pale arm with purple markings.

The Snow Angel by SunsetMiko

Posted on: Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: After the Lady of the West casts a vicious spell on Sesshoumaru, he finds himself weak and helpless, on the brink of death. Kagome stumbles across the taiyoukai and saves his life, causing him start to see things a different way. COMPLETE

True Romance by Effinsusie

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Here they were again, kept apart by the perilous bridge that seemed to stretch out endlessly between them. Last time, he almost didn’t make it. Now, it was her turn to cross. (Sesskag Holiday Raffle) Status: One Shot

#sesskag #sesskag fanfiction #sesskag fic recs #sesskag fanfiction archive #requested rec list

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hermette-historian · 4 years ago

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Today in short-lived ex-Hermits that no one has ever heard of: who were the PixelNerds?

The PixelNerds (TPN for short) were a group of three school-age British boys (not brothers; common misconception) that shared a a YouTube channel in addition to each having their own. Joe, Josh, and Alex were known for playing Minecraft together and had big aspirations of being all-around gaming Youtubers, but were frequently thwarted by an extremely modest shared budget, school responsibilities, access to technology, and...their parents. Being the only one with access to the necessary software, Josh did all of the recording and essentially managed the channel.

Back in 2012, TPN had a Let’s Play series with Hermitcraft member and recently gone full-time MCYT Topmass (Matt, as they called him). When Matt had the opportunity as a founding member to invite one channel to the server in August 2012, he closed the loophole as the choice was obvious-and invited all three PixelNerds.

TPN were immediately extremely out of place on Hermitcraft with their technological and time management challenges as well as being the only minors, but to their credit they did their very best with it. They stuck extremely close to Topmass and were very rarely seen without him-hardly interacting with anyone else much less participating in any sort of collaborative events-to the point that I personally think of them as his three rambunctious children.

And rambunctious they were. TPN only ended up making 14 videos from the server all total, but in that time as they got more comfortable Matt had to keep them on a tighter and tighter leash. If he wasn’t on the server when they were recording, he would randomly pop into their Skype call to ensure they weren’t up to no good...if he wasn’t around, it was inevitable that something was burning, exploded, or full of mobs. That was just how they liked it. And to be fair, it was pretty damn funny.

The TPN channel died about five years ago as the boys went their separate ways, but my opinion is that if they were around today, their sense of humor and penchant for chaos would make them a great addition to some...other SMPs. Just maybe not Hermitcraft.

#the pixelnerds #season 1 #hermitcraft

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sweetdreamsjeff · 4 years ago

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Inger Lorre & Jeff Buckley

Monday, February 20, 2012 1:36 PM

In conversation with Jeff Buckley - the clouds within

I have always avoided mentioning Jeff in interviews for a number of reasons:

First, 'cause it's not cool to name-drop at every opportunity - two, 'cause I still find it hard to talk about him - and thirdly, as he's not available to reply, we have to apply utmost care and diligence when citing his name.

Jeff was one of the very few people I made a connection that went way beyond the tour schedules; but if anyone here is hoping this story is going to be filled with gossip of a personal nature, don't bother reading further, for the trust of friendship I had with him was sealed absolute, and that will never be broken.

But I wanted to share a conversation we once had, as it does have some bearing on my own anatomical life as an artist, and therefore, has still some relevance today.

I will be drawing a few parallel lines between us, but I must stress: strictly of a non-musical nature: for Jeff Buckley, in my view, was the brightest of all stars, profoundly talented, and this shabby Isabel Monteiro - (no capital bold here), just a 5ft meteor lucky enough to hit his path.

But I will draw attention to some idiosyncratic personality traits we shared, this being the topic of the conversation in question.

Anyone who's met Jeff will surely remember him as I do: a really, really funny guy - I mean, he was one of the funniest people I've ever met - sharp, witty, with an incisive sense of humor, always on the money and spot on.

But one could easily see that beyond the jokes and crisp remarks, there lurked a pool of great sadness and disquiet.

In this respect, I believe, we were very much alike.

We were talking about our personalities and moods, and how annoying it was that most people often made the wrong assumption that our 'sad side' was somehow 'more real' than our 'funny side' - which we both concluded it was a mistake, 'cause from our perspective, all those aspects made up the full picture of who we really were.

Then Jeff came up with this beautiful metaphor, one that stayed in my memory, he said:

'You know, it's like we've got this weather system trapped inside us - in the pit of the stomach, the clouds are always forming and waiting to rise. Even when everything's sunny, the clouds are always there, brewing. And every now and again they rise up and it pours for days, sometimes weeks; then it dies away, the sun comes out and the whole thing starts again. We're stuck with it, the clouds within.'

This struck me as such a pretty and lyrical way to describe the complexity of our souls, and it brought to mind this wonderful image of artists going round the world with clouds in their stomachs. poetic.

But then, the implication of what he said hit me , so I asked him:

'But...that means we can never be happy?!'

'Yeah, that's right, people like us can never be happy.'

The last time I spoke to J, sounds quite surreal now and hard to believe, but we've been talking about recording/writing a little acoustic album together in NYC - whole thing was gonna be quite simple, country-esque and gospelly - this now sounds so far-fetched, almost in the realm of fiction - but it didn't then.

I had a few tours booked ahead with Drugstore, but was planning to fly out to NYC once the promo/tours etc were done.

When I got back to London, I checked my voice mail, which at the time was one of those retro BT machines, that had a cute mini-cassette tape inside, remember those? To my surprise Jeff had left lots of little messages - each one under a completely different guise/voice - and very funny they were too.

People may not know this, but he was also a master impersonator - he could do voices, any voice, really well.

The messages ranged from Homer Simpson to Nigel Tufnel, via Al Pacino - each one was funny, quirky and very lovely (in one, he said I should soon be traveling to the US on Concorde 1st class, as the royalties from him singing Alive and No more Tears would soon kick in - though he needn't worry, knowing that he liked my songs was the greatest reward.)

By the time I called him back, he already had traveled south and was stuck in the studio, working on his new record, so I thought it was best to pursue our own little project later down the line, once his album was done.

I never had a chance to speak to him again.

The years went by and, sadly, I lost track of that BT answering machine, (probably deemed obsolete during some last minute flat move).

In this life, I've been given a lot of really expensive crap that had no intrinsic value to me whatsoever, from Cartier to Rolex - all met the same end: a cheap desperados' pawnbrokers in East London.

But if I could have something back, I would choose that little tape with Jeff's messages in it - I'd be very happy with that.

#Jeff Buckley #inger lorre #The Nymphs

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 Review: Still Possesses Turtle Power After All These Years

Cowabunga all you happy people! I freaking love the Teenage Ninja Turtles. I grew up with it from Turtles in Time, which was my first video game, to the 2003 cartoon, which I covered the first three episodes of last month, and on to present day as I re-read the idw comics after finally reading the original eastman and laird run of mirage, and impatiently waiting for Shredder’s Revenge to come out after a LONG drout of no good TMNT games. I”m a fan of these heroes four, their dynamic as a family, the endless possiblities that come from it’s long history and ablitlity to go anywhere in any genre, and the wonderful goofy shit that happens when you have a franchise about mutant turtles learning ninjitsu from a rat and fighting a dude covered in knife covered samurai armor.

So with me finally covering the guys after almost a year last month and with a new movie set to debut at some point this year, I had the bright idea to revisit the FIRST TMNT movie after way too many years of not watching it. This movie is anear and dear to my heart: When I first started getting into the boys big as a kid with the 2003 cartoon, I badly wanted more turtles. But back then it wasn’t nearly as easy to glom onto some more of the sewer shock pizza kings: Streaming sites with all the cartoons on them weren’t all that accesable, dvd’s were expensive for the 87 cartoon, Mirage wasn’t reprinting the comics in any meaningful way and my local comic shop didn’t have any at all and I could only play the SNES when my brother had it set up on occasion like at our Grandma’s farm.

As you probably guessed though there was one exception: the original 1990 movie, which I got at Walmart for 5 bucks and haven’t let go of since. It was one of my first dvds and is still one of my most precious. Said film hit the spot just right as like my beloved 2003 series, it was a mildly goofy but still fucking cool adaptation that stuck closer to the mirage comics, even more than the 2003 series would, while taking a few queues from the 87 series. This film is as precious to me as the 2003 series and a with a brand new movie coming up, I figured it was the exact right time to dig into this classic: what makes it still good to this day, what’s fun to point and laugh at, and how the heck Jim Henson got involved in this. So join me under the cut as I take a look at my boys first theatrical outing and why I still love watching a turtle.

No One Wanted To Make This: Before we get into the film itself some background. As usual I struggled a bit, but thankfully found some help in the form of this Hollywood Reporter article. It’s a fascinating read worth your time, providing an oral history of the film from the people who worked on it.

The film was the baby of Gary Propper, a surfer dude and road manager for the prop comic Gallagher, aka that guy who used to smash watermelons but now has instead opted to smash what little’s left of his career by being a homophobic douchenozzle. He found an ally in Showtime producer Kim Dawson who’d produced Gallagher’s special. I don’t think there will be more of an 80′s sentence than “Gallagher’s surfer dude agent wanted to make a teenage mutant ninja turtles movie”. Propper was a huge fan of the comics, and with Dawson’s help convinced Laird and Eastman to let them option it to studios.

It may come as a shock to you but the road agent for a homophobic watermelon man and a producer at a niche cable channel wanting to make a movie based on an underground comic book about masked turtles at a time when the two most recent comic book movies were Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Howard the Duck, did not go well. Every door in Hollywood got slammed in their face, even Fox> Even the eventual backer of the film, Golden Harvest, a hong kong action film studio, took months to convince to actually back the film.

Things did not get easier from there: The films writer Bobby Herbeck had trouble getting a story agreed on because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s working relationship had deteroiated horribly from the stress so naturally the two could not agree on a damn thing and argued with each other. Peter Laird made a tense siutation even worse by constnatly sniping at Herbeck and feeling he was a “Hollywood outsider infringing on his vision and characters”

Granted the script was apparently not great... but Pete still comes off as a pretnetious ass who views his weird indie comic as THE HIGHEST OF HIGH CALLINGS HOW DARE YOU SOIL IT. And continued to be kind of a prick like this throughout the rest of his time with the property.

Thankfully the film found i’ts voice, vision and director in Steve Barron. Barron was a music video guy who knew the producers and while reluctant, eventually dove into the project rightfully thinking the film would need to be a mix of the mirage comics and 87 cartoon, keeping aprils’ reporter job, the turtles lvoe of pizza and their iconic color coding from the cartoon but adapting several stories from the comics as the backbone of the film. The guys liked barron MUCH better and things ran smoother.

Barron also brought in one of the film’s biggest selling points and it’s most valuable asset: it’s triumphantly awesome Jim Henson costumes. Barron had worked with good old Jim on the music videos for Labyrinth, and while it took some convincing since the comics were violent as hell and that wasn’t Jim’s style, Barron eventually got him on board. This naturally doubled the budget, but given Henson’s costumes STILL hold up today and look better than the cgi used in the platinum dunes films... it was a good call. And this was brand new tech for jim, having to invent tons of new ideas and mechanisms just to make the things work, and said things still were absolute hell on the actors. Jim later ended up not liking the film for being too violent... which I find hilarious given how many muppets got eaten or blowed up real good on his show but regardless, I thank this legendary and wonderful man as without him this film WOULD NOT have worked. The costumes here look great, feel realistic, and you can’t tell the actors were dubbed much less horribly suffering in those suits. Much like Disney Land.

The film would get picked up for distribution by New Line, and despite i’ts weird as hell origins and the long shot it had.. the film was a MASSIVE hit at the box office, owing to a combination of Batman 89 the previous year having proved comic book movies can work for audiences, the cartoon’s runaway sucess, and a massive marketing campaign. The film made it’s mark. So now we know how we got here let’s get into the film itself.

What’s the Story Morning Glory?:

So the story for this one is largely cobbled together from some of the more notable arcs Eastman and Laird did before handing off the book to others full time as the stress of the company and the mounting tension with each other made it near impossible to work together on the book itself.

To Save time i’m just going through what hte movie takes from the comics plot wise now to save me the trouble later:The movie takes elements from the first issue (The Turtles, Splinter and Shredder’s backstories, Shredder being fully human and the main antagonist, Shredder’s design and the final rooftop showdown that results in Shredder’s death), second and third, (April’s apartment over her dad’s old store and the turtles moving in when their home is ransacked and splinter has gone missing), the rapheal micro series (A tounge in cheek way of cashing in on the Mini-Series craze of the 80s, a one shot by modern standards and something that’s tragically been underused as an idea as only TMNT and MLP have used the idea at IDW, Raph meeting casey and their fight with one another), the return of shredder arc (One of the turtles being ambushed and mobbed by the foot and then thrown though a sky light (Leo in the comic and Raph here), the turtles being horribly outnumbered by them, Casey coming ot the rescue and metting the non-raph turtles for the first time, and them being forced to escape when the place goes up in flames), their exile to northampton (April writing in a journal, casey working on a car with one of the guys and one of hte guys looking over hteir injured brother), and finally, their triumphant return which was very loosely adapted as there are no deformed shredder clones and shredder not being dead yet in this version was not brought back by a colony of super science worms.

So as for how this all comes together: Our story takes place in New York: A crimewave is high with muggings mysterious. There are a ton of phantom thefts going around and at most people have been seeing teens responsibile. And the police.. are at about this level of useful:

The only person doing something is April O’Neil, played by Judith Hoag. Hoag is easily the standout of the film, giving us a strong, confident woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She honestly might be my faviorite April O Neil, and given we’ve had some great ones with 2003, 2012 and Rise, that’s not something I say lightly. I honestly wish I’d recognized her in more stuff as she was both on Nashville and the mom in the Halloween Town films, and most recently was on the ScFy show the magicians. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad she’s still goin.

April is a reporter for Channel 3 like the cartoon, though for some weird reason her boss from the cartoon is replaced by Charles Pennigton, played by Jay Patterson, whose currently dealing with his troubled son Danny, played by Micheal Turney. Pennington is horribly useless at both jobs: At work he tries to ease April off calling out Chief Sterns, who refuses to listen to April’s evidence gathered from japanese immigrants that the crimes resemble similar ones in japan in favor of trying to get charles to shut her up. Danny meanwhile is a member of the foot becase his dad thinks shouting out him and talking about him like he’s not there and generally being a dipstick will actually do anything to help him.

I love the concept for the foot here. In addition to being a Ninja Violence Gang as always, they now recruit new members by finding kids without families or with troubled family lives and giving them a sense of family with the foot, and sweeting the bargin with a giant cave filled with arcade machines, a skate ramp and general late 80′s early 90′s kids goodies. Is it rediculous? Yes. Is it also clever as it gives Shredder an easy army of plausably deniable theives that he can pick the best out of to put in his elite that will be tirelessly loyal to him and him alone? Also yes.

So April being public about this stuff gets her attacked, which naturally leads to our heroes coming in, first in the shadows and later directly when April wont’ give up on the case and Shredder sends some ninjas to go shut her up.. which he does weirdly as the guy jsut slaps her and tells her to cut it out like he’s on a domestically abusive episode of Full House. Raph saves her, and we get the turtles origin.. though weirdly they cut it in half. We get the ooze portion but Splinter’s past with Saki, Saki’s murder of his master and his master’s partern Tang Shen is left for later in the film and the fact Shredder’s saki is treated as a big twist despite the fact the biggest audience for the film would be kids... and kids would’ve been familiar with the cartoon where the giant brain monster routinely screeches out saki at the shredder. Maybe Barron just thought he was an alcoholic I don’t know. It just would’ve made more sense to have it all at once and let the audeince put it together.

April becomes good friends with the turtles over a night of frozen pizza and camradrie, but the Splinters return home to find it ransacked, Splinter kidnapped by the foot, and are forced to Stay with april. Charles meanwhile tries to get April to backoff because he made a deal with the police to clear Danny’s record, without TELLING her any of this mind you, but I will save my rage on that little plot point for in a bit as Danny who he drug along sees the turtles and tells the Shredder.

So we get the return of the shredder arc as Raph goes through a window, our heroes fight valiantly, and Raph’s friend Casey who he met earlier shows up, the two having bonded as all true friends do.. by beating the shit out of each other ending with raph shouting DAMNNNNNNN really big and dramatically into the sky for some reason. The Turtles and friends escape with an injured raph from April’s burning second hand store. She had a second hand store it was poorly established and only there because she had it in the comics.

Our heroes retreat to a farm April’s grandma owned in Northampton, Massachutes, where Mirage was located at the time the original comics where they were exiled to the place were written and a location that has been a staple of the turtles ever since. The turtles slowly recover, lick their wounds, talk about who hooked up with who on gilligans island etc, before Leo connects with Splinter via meditation, who tells them to come back. Splinter also starts to connect with Danny and convinces him to swtich sides.. or at the very least squat in the boys old home.

The boys return home, find danny, and prepare, Danny goes back and ends up giving away the Turtles are home.. but the turtles are ready and in an awesome sequence kick the fuck out of the foot squad sent for them with some well prepared steam vents. Casey goes to get splinter since Danny told them and with Danny’s help, finds him, since Danny found out they were gonna kill him. Casey beats up Tatsu, shredder’s right hand man, and they get him out.

We get our final fight which is awesome up until the climax.. which is splinter casually tripping shredder with nunchucks and thier bloody history being kind of rushed and unsatsifying. Casey crushes shredder with a garbage truck, April gets her job back, more on that in a moment, she and casey hook up, and we end with the fucking awesome song T-U-R-T-L-E Power by partners in cryme. Seriously check it out it’s fucking triumphant.

youtube

The song is just good.. cheesy? Sure but that’s half the fun. It’s the gold standard for movie theme songs for them and stacks up handily with the various animated series themes.. all of which slap. Okay... ALMOST all of which slap. Fast Forwards is aggressively medicore, which is doubly suprising to me since 4kids was REALLY damn good with theme songs. It was one of the three things they were best at along with finding VERY talented voice actors and setting japan based works in america because merica dammit.

The plot is very solid: It skilfully packed half of eastman and laird’s run on TMNT into 90 mintues while adding things like April’s job at channel 9, the way the foot recurited kids etc. The plot flows well for hte most part and apart from one annoying subplot we’ll get to never has a moment that feel unecessary or dosen’t pay off later. And the stellar plot and fun pacing of it helps boilster the characters that do work... and help paper over the ones that are so thin the’yd fall down a grate...

Our Heroes, Villains and Annoying Middle Aged Guys:

Yeahhhh character is hit and miss here. Some are rather strong, others are the bare basics for the character their adapting and most are just to serve the plot but some work some don’t, So let’s talk about it starting with our boys:

Raph is the most fleshed out of the turtles, being the main focus of the first 2/3 of the film, and having his anger be part of what SHOULD be a character arc, learning to temper it. And while granted MOST TMNT properties do this, to the point that Rise Raph is so loveable in part because his boisterous bruiser big bro attitude is a refreshing break from the usual grumpus we get. But at the time this hadn’t been done in every version but the 87 cartoon, so exploring it was valid.. but despite saying this should be a thing htey just forget about it and the most plot relevance he gets is going thorugh a window. He dosen’t really get a resolution.. his arc just kind of stops dead for the final half and it’s one of the film’s weaker points, one I only just now noticed on this rewatch. He’s still the most entertaining.

Leo is the weakest of the turtles. He really lacks a personality here mostly just being leader and while his spirtual side is touched on, it’s mostly a plot device. He’s just kinda the leader because he was in the comics to the point Partners in Cryme called Raph the leader. His role in getting taken out by the foot was taken by Raph, so he just has.. nothing to do for most of the film other than gripe at raph ocasionally and say orders. He’s probably the worst Leo i’ve seen outside of Next Mutation. I prefice that because after watching Phelous’ review it’s VERY clear those four are the worst versions of the characters, and no personality is still better than either having your team do nothing or yelling at them as your personality. I chalk this up to the Mirage Leo, and the mirage turtles to a poit being kind of bland. Not TERRIBLE characters, especially for the time, but not nearly as fleshed out or individualized as they woudl be in other adpatations, and with most traits LEo DID have, like his badassery flat out gone, he’s just.. nothing here.

Mikey and Donnie are a double act here with both sharing a brain. Interestingly instead of his normal genius character, Donnie is Mikey’s best friend and the two simply trade jokes and schtick together. The two are interchangable.. but easily the best part of the film and a lot of the most memorable gags and lines, from Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit! to “Do you like Penicllin on your pizza”, are from them. Thier there almost entirely as comic relief but it works, with both clealry being more modled ont he 87 cartoon turtles, a move that helps lighten the mood in darker moments. Their just genuinely charming and it’s intresting to see such a diffrent version of Donnie, and other incarnations, specifically the 2003 and Rise versions, would retain the sarcastic edge.

Splinter is splinter. That’s about it, he’s peformed well and the puppet is amazing but he gets kidnapped a half an hour in and outside of influcencing Denny, more on that in a moment, and finishing Shredder he dosen’t do much but spout exposition. He’s not bad or anything, but he’s essentially a rodent shaped plot device. He was also puppeted by Kevin CLash, aka the guy who does Elmo. So there you go.

April on the other hand.. is truly excellent. This might be my faviorite April. Judith’s april nicely blends the cartoon and mirage versions: She has the cartoons energy and job, but the comics sheer will and casual nature. Judith just oozes personality and her April is just a joy to watch, from her breezy chemistry filled interactions with the guys to her confrntation with Chief Sterns, knowing she’ll get thrown out by the asshole. She’s confident, and even when afraid dosen’t back down to her attackers and even helps out during the sewer ambush. I mean it’s a pot on the head but still it’s neat. She’s easily the best part of the flim and the most fleshed out of the cast. The worst I can say is they kinda shove her store from the comics, Second Time Around, in there for no other reason than it was in the comics: It dosen’t come up until it’s needed for the foot’s assault on her place. But overall.. she’s just fantastic to watch.

Speaking of fantastic to watch, Elias Koteas is fantastic as Casey. Seriously he’s only second to the 2003 version in my eyes, getting the concept of a testorone filled average guy who decided to just go out and hit people with sports equipment after watching too much A-Team.. I mean that part of it’s not in this version but it’s implied, just right. Like judith, Elias is just really funny to watch and his big scenes, showing up just in time during the foot assault on april’s place and his fight with Tatsu are some of the best parts of the film, the former taken directly from the comics. This version isn’t without problems: His friendship with Raph, his most endearing aspect and one that has been carried throughout eveyr version Casey’s important, with the only exception so far being rise and we have a movie to fix that, is absent here. HE does save the guy, but they don’t really bond or anything. In fact he disappears for about half an hour after his big fight with Raph. But... again he’s just so damn entertaining, down to his JOSEEEEEEEEEEE Conseco bats (There was a two for one sale!).

Shredder is just a LITTLE better than splinter, if only because his actor projects a true aura of menace and I feel this version had some influence on the pants crappingly terrifying 2003 version. And the idea of the foot recurting teenagers like I said is a good one: He gives them home and a cause, they give him plausably deniable backup. And his fight with the boys in the climax is really awesome... the conclusion sucks but otherwise h’es okay. Not the deepest villian, but he has enough presence to be enjoyable.

His right hand man Tatsu, whose been adapted ocasionally since this and reimaigned as Natsu in the IDW comics, a female version, is also fine. He’s your standard grimacing goon but has enough presence to work.

So that brings us to the penningtons. Charles, april’s boss at the station and his son Danny who’s joined the foot as he feels his dad dosen’t love him. Charles..is about as interesting and likeable as a dog turd and is the worst aspect of the film. No debate there, he just sucks. He sucks so hard he’s classified as a black hole. The film wants you to see him as a put upon wokring dad whose frustrated with his son’s increased moodiness, skipping school and crminal undertakings and just wants to help him and loves him deep down. The problem is his actor’s delivery instead of concerned.. is just pissed. He just seems pissy and upset about the whole thing and comes off like he’s only mad about Danny doing this because he’s embarassing him and not because you know, it’s bad. When confronting Danny about stealing, he dosen’t consider MAYBE he’s part of a gang or needs help, but just wonders “Why are you stealing when I give you stuff”. Because, Dipshit, sometimes kids do crimes not because they need the stuff but because they WANT to, and because they want to act the fuck out.

The most he does for the kid is agree to try and get April to back off the police when Cheif Sterns offers to let Danny go and not put him on record in exchange for it. The problem.. is this makes him even MORE unsympathetic. While I do get wanting to help your child, I do and it’s a sucky position... he again should be sympathetic.. but he handles the thing so badly it sucks. He just tells april to ease off, with no reason given, then fires her when she SHOCKINGLY dosen’t give up taking the guy whose refusing to take her hard work seriously or actually solve the crime wave problem to task for his shitty behavior as ANY person facing a shitty, corrput cop would. She just wants to hold him acountable and get him to actually do something. He clearly knows her on a personal level too as he talks about his issues with his son freely with her, something you don’t do with an employee unless their also a friend on some level.

He could have TOLD april what was going on. She’d be furious at Stern’s naked corrpution and prioritizing shutting her up over actually solving crimes.. and thus put at least some of that energy into shutting him down or finding a way around it, going to the papers or something like that. Even in 1990 pre-internet, there were ways to get around Sterns blackmail and expose him so someone who’d actually do the job could get the job. Instead he just comes off as a selfish coward who rather than try and fight the guy blatantly abusing his power and using Charles own son as barganing chip, goes along with it because it’s the easier option to simply bow to him instead of TRY and stop this. And it’s not like he’s even going after a beloved public figure or someone who could hide behind his rep: Sterns was blatantly failing a crime wave, April had called him out on his failrues and coverups multiple times. The public was against sterns.. finding out he tried to blackmail the media into shutting up about him would PROBABLY end him... I only say probably not because the public wouldn’t skewer him, but because police tend to escape consequences for blatantly murdering someone on a daily basis and Andrew Cumo is STILl mayor over in new york, the same city this movie takes place, 31 years later, depsite EVERYONE asking him to resign over a long history of sexual harassment and a more recent but still horrible history of hiding death numbers. I don’t doubt people being stupid enough to ignore this or the bilaws with cops being stacked enough for him to get away with it, but just because someone gets away with a crime dosen’t mean you shoudln’t try and go after them in the first place. Fuck. Charles. Pennington.

Danny on the other hand is FAR more interesting and I think gets way too much flack when it comes to this subplot. Unlike his dad, whose dead weight, Danny is intresting: He provides a POV character for the foot’s MO in the film of taking in wayward teens, and his character arc is pretty engaging, slowly realizing the foot dosen’t care and that hte turtles are the good guys. HIs actor does a great job and while not the biggest presence, he’s not a bad addition to clan hamaoto and I wish other adaptations would find a way to use him. The pull between doing the right thing and his found family is a good struggle. My only real issue with his plot is the moviies flawed aseop about family. It tries to contrast shredder and his using the kids blatnatly with Splinter and Charles really loving their sons. And it works with Splinter and the kids because despite being a tad strict, Splinter clearly loves his sons and works with them to help them. The problem is ENTIRELY with Charles and Danny. As I said Charles love comes off as transasctional: He either thinks he can buy it or just expects it because he shot a bunch of goop into Danny’s mom after two minutes of disapointment. It dosen’t work with them because neither option is good for Danny. His father is neglectful, chooses throwing his jounralistic integrity out the window over talking to his son or his best friend about another way, and abrasive. Danny is no saint, he does do crimes, but it’s clearly a result of a shitty upbringing and the shredder and co actually offeirng him the love he desperatly craves. Danny goes to the foot because his dad is bad at his job but the film never adresses that and just expects Danny to go back to his dad because the plot says so. Danny would HONESTLY be better off with Splinter. No really. Sure he’d have to live in the sewers.. but he did so for a few weeks in the course of the movie. He’s fine down there. Splitner actually cares about him and took an intrest to him and knows how to raise a child. Let him become the fifth turtle. An aseop about family is not a bad thing: Loaded subject that it can be given how many outright abusive families exist, i’m one of the lucky ones who dosen’t have that issue, family is an important thing and can be a source of comfort and support. But this film tells you you should love and respect someone who does not love, respect or value you because he spent a minute in your mom’s vagina and that’s not how family should work and is outright dangerous to kids in an abusive situation. Love the film otherwise but fuck this aseop skyhigh.

Final thoughts:

Overall though.. the film is bodacious. It’s funny, well paced, has an awesome cast, and outside of a certain bald asswipe... it’s a really good superhero film. Is it the best i’ve seen? Nope. Not even close and character wise most of them are as thin as a wet paper bag covered in ranch dressing. But it’s still a fun as hell with awesome corepgraphy, a killer soundtrack, seriously the soundtrack is damn excellent and only didn’t get it’s own section because I didn’t have enough to say and some of the best effects work i’ve seen in a film in the turtle suits. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to check it out: it’s a breezy 90 minutes, it’s on hbo max and it’s a shell of a time. Will I do the next film?

We’ll see how this one does like wise and such, but I will be doing the rise film whenever it comes out this year. So look for that and keep possesing turtle power my dudes. If you liked this review subscirbe for more, join my patreon to keep this blog a chugging, comission a review if you have more turtle stuff you want me to cover, and comment on this. What do you think of the movie, what are your thoughts on the review, what can I do better, what other turtle stuff would you like me to cover/ Let me know and i’ll see you at hte next rainbow.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles 1990 #leonardo #raphael #donetello #michealangelo #casey jones #april o'neil #the shredder #oroku saki #new line cinema #golden harvest #film #90's movies #the 90's #partners in cryme #judith hoag

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takerfoxx · 4 years ago

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Why you should listen to a forty minute audiobook on youtube

magic5ball submitted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imNtSPM3-r4

So back in 2012, I was really into the speculative biology scene. And while searching through the internet, I came across a pdf of a book online: 'All Tomorrows', by C.M. Kosemen. At this time, I was no stranger to Kosemen's work and his, er, crude sense of humor (an unspoken prerequisite to being a speculative zoologist) on account of having viewed his stuff on his personal websites. Long story short, I was stuck in a cabin, bored out of my mind, so I gave it a look.

What came next were some of the most engrossing 100 pages I have ever read.

All Tomorrows chronicles the evolution of the human race into several different subspecies over the next billion years, and it does NOT waste time getting into the action. Entire races rise and fall in the span of paragraphs. A single sentence is all that is granted to an entire solar system of people being obliterated. For a book so brief, the scale it operates on is ludicrously massive, and indeed, one might argue the breezy style detracts from the impact something like a genocide ought to have on the reader, but even that flaw is alleviated by the story's wonderful final twist, a twist that awed me on my first reading, then made me cry on several subsequent ones.

However, it is not a book designed for a mainstream audience. As with most speculative zoology, it is written in the style of a textbook or encyclopedia (albeit one with a strong narrative throughline). Characters in the conventional sense are also lacking, replaced instead with the multitude descendants of Homo sapiens. And even then many of these are introduced to be killed off sentences after with very little fanfare (though I would argue the story still works this to its' favor).

So imagine my surprise when an audiobook of it showed up on my dash in 2021, 15 years after it was published. It made me happy, but I figured it wouldn't attract THAT big an audience.

In two days the video gained 2 million views. When I went on twitter and reddit, people were making memes about it. Pterosapien girl, who only appeared for a single sentence and picture, has a small fandom. And a post I made in 2019, featuring my favorite quote from the book, got 20 new likes overnight.

And frankly, I'm weirded out. There's something surreal about a thing you were fanboying over years ago suddenly becoming popular, but also really happy I'm not the only one who took something profound away from this story. And seeing how it isn't just for speculative zoology nerds anymore, I no longer have any qualms recommending it to you.

All Tomorrows, while it doesn't shy away from our darker side, is a celebration of humanity. Not humanity's achievements, but the hidden power of being a homo sapien in and of itself. It is a story of those who work hard, only to die by chance, and those who rise to the stars by happy accident. It is a tale of the evils of fascism, the cycle of abuse, and how it might one day end. It is a tale of darkness in paradise and compassion in the heart of a fascist empire. It's a story of how a child taking a nap may, in fact, be leading a more fulfilling life that the emperor of a planet.

Also, there are two species of dinosaur people.

Love today, my friend, and seize All Tomorrows!

Oops, I forgot to respond to this! Sorry!

ANYWAY, it is definitely cool when the niche thing you love suddenly takes off years later, and more people are appreciating it. The only two equivalents I can think of for myself would be Mystery Skulls, whom I've been a huge fan of ever since all he had was a little EP on bandcamp, suddenly exploding into popularity when the Ghost video went viral, and later the Power Rangers knock-off I was really into as a kid suddenly getting new life when its source material was rebooted into a critically acclaimed anime.

And I have to say, All Tomorrows does sound extremely cool. Maybe not entirely up my alley, as I'm more into detailed characters inhabiting weird worlds than intricate worldbuilding in of itself, and I'm the sort that would want to know all the details of what happened in those paragraphs, but then again, I do love me some Dinotopia, and that was all about the worldbuilding, so maybe I'll give it a shot.

#submission #all tomorrows

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mediaeval-muse · 4 years ago

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The Devil in Silver. By Victor LaValle. New York: Spiegel and Grau, 2012.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: horror/thriller, literary fiction

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Pepper is a rambunctious big man, minor-league troublemaker, working-class hero (in his own mind), and, suddenly, the surprised inmate of a budget-strapped mental institution in Queens, New York. He’s not mentally ill, but that doesn’t seem to matter. He is accused of a crime he can’t quite square with his memory. In the darkness of his room on his first night, he’s visited by a terrifying creature with the body of an old man and the head of a bison who nearly kills him before being hustled away by the hospital staff. It’s no delusion: The other patients confirm that a hungry devil roams the hallways when the sun goes down. Pepper rallies three other inmates in a plot to fight back: Dorry, an octogenarian schizophrenic who’s been on the ward for decades and knows all its secrets; Coffee, an African immigrant with severe OCD, who tries desperately to send alarms to the outside world; and Loochie, a bipolar teenage girl who acts as the group’s enforcer. Battling the pill-pushing staff, one another, and their own minds, they try to kill the monster that’s stalking them. But can the Devil die? The Devil in Silver brilliantly brings together the compelling themes that spark all of Victor LaValle’s radiant fiction: faith, race, class, madness, and our relationship with the unseen and the uncanny. More than that, it’s a thrillingly suspenseful work of literary horror about friendship, love, and the courage to slay our own demons.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: body horror, violence, gore, suicide, ableism

Overview: I really enjoyed LaValle’s The Changeling and respected The Ballad of Black Tom, so I figured I’d give The Devil in Silver a go. Overall, I think it was a well-crafted book, and the problems I have with it may stem more from marketing and personal taste than from anything LaValle did wrong. From the cover and the description, it seems like this book will be a horror novel, or maybe a thriller; however, I think it leans more into some combo of magical realism or literary fiction with fantastical undercurrents. The focus really isn’t on these things, anyway - though the “devil” is a character, the story is primarily about the other patients in the institution, and I think going into this book expecting a monster story will leave many readers disappointed. But if you’re looking for literary fiction, you might appreciate this tale.

Writing: LaValle’s prose balances showing and telling while also mixing evocative imagery with a fair bit of humor. I think the author does a good job of making you feel like you’re experiencing the world as Pepper (our protagonist) experiences it: some things feel monotonous or sterile, maybe it will take a few pages to describe 15 minutes but then, suddenly, time will slip by so fast that you lose a few hours or days.

Personally, I would have liked to see LaValle lean more into the atmosphere. While I don’t think he needed to make the institution more “creepy” or what have you, I do think he could have made it feel more labyrinthine to better evoke the “Theseus and the Minotaur” allusion (where the patients are all people stuck in the labyrinth with a monster). There wasn’t exactly a sense of dread in the novel - whenever the Devil would show up, it was disturbing, but once he was out of sight, I almost felt like characters forgot about him. Even if LaValle didn’t want to go full-blown horror, I think he could have made the Devil’s presence feel like more of an obsession or dark cloud over the hospital.

I also think LaValle could have leaned more into making the hospital feel underfunded and desperate, without reveling in “poverty porn.” Leaning more heavily into the atmosphere and the feeling of being in the institution would have not only made the story more rich, but would have drove home the novel’s central theme/message more strongly: that monsters are scapegoats for institutional problems.

Plot: The plot of this novel involves Pepper trying to learn how to get out of the mental institution while also thinking up ways to defeat the “devil” that haunts the building. Along the way, he forms alliances with other patients and learns to reflect on his own past.

Overall, I loved the moments when Pepper had real connection with his fellow patients. I liked seeing the growth in their relationships, and I loved seeing them collaborate and exchange ideas on how best to defeat the system around them.

I do think, however, that the plot could have been more explicit about its central theme/message. While I agree that this book is mainly about how monsters are scapegoats for institutional problems, the institution in question always seemed to be shifting; sometimes, there’s be a lovely passage about institutional racism, sometimes a reflection on class or the treatment of the mentally ill. While I understand that LaValle was trying to encompass all institutions, I think having these small moments felt like we were exploring big topics at a surface level. But I don’t know - I think they were still valuable moments. I just wanted the book to really drive home that message more forcefully. But that’s personal taste.

Characters: Pepper, our protagonist and primary POV character, is fairly likeable, if a bit bland. He doesn’t really have many qualities that make him memorable, in my opinion; he mainly looks good because he surrounds himself with characters who are more interesting. Perhaps if LaValle had explored Pepper’s class background more, he would have been a compelling case study, but as it stands, I found Pepper to mainly be “just ok.”

His companions - Dorry, Coffee, and Loochie - had a lot more personality and were extremely fun to read about. I loved that LaValle made them feel like people with rich, inner lives, despite their very real struggles with mental health. It helped showcase the message that people need to be treated like people and that institutions can be well-meaning but still cause harm.

Other characters, such as doctors and nurses, were written well in that they were competent enough to make me believe they weren’t trying to be abusive but also distant enough where I felt like they were being forced to be neglectful (due to restrictions in funding and resources). Though some of them did things that were unethical and morally questionable, I never got the feeling that any of them were “evil,” per se.

The Devil himself... well, he’s ok. He isn’t super complex, but he probably isn’t supposed to be. If anything, he’s a symbol, and as such, I think he does his job well.

TL;DR: The Devil in Silver is a compelling story about the ways in which we blame society’s problems on “monsters” instead of institutions. Though I think this message could have come through more strongly, the witty prose and memorable characters make this book a must-read for those interested in institutional problems and systems (though I wouldn’t recommend it to those looking for a horror tale).

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rosewoodmeadow · 3 years ago

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MOUNT MEADOW WELCOMES... MISHA COLLINS!

Welcome to Mount Meadow, Si! Before you get stuck in, make sure to check out our new members’ checklist. Once this is complete, you have 24 hours to send in your account. We’re so happy that you’re here!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name: Si

Preferred Pronoun: they/them

ABOUT THE RESIDENT

Celebrity Name: Misha Collins (Dmitri Tippens Krushnic)

Pronouns: he/him

Birthday: August 20, 1974

Profession: retired actor, activist, poet

Housing District: Oak Grove

Personality: Misha is a kind-hearted person, but has a sense of humor that would have most everyone in a room rolling on the floor laughing. He’s very passionate about the work he does - but he can admittedly be a little chaotic sometimes and that carries over into all areas of his life.

Relationship/Family: Misha is divorced from his ex-wife, Vicki Vantoch. They share 50/50 custody of their two kids, West (9/23/2010) and Maison (9/25/2012). Misha will be moving to Mount Meadow with his fiancé, Zayn Malik, who also has a daughter, Khai (9/23/2020).

MORE INFORMATION

Choose three questions to answer in character, in addition to the mandatory question. Please provide answers that allow us some insight into your celebrity.

Why Mount Meadow and what brought you to town? My fiancé and I wanted a new place to settle, and Mount Meadow seemed to be perfect. I could see myself enjoying the retired life here, with my kids and his, writing poetry and not having a care in the world. Besides, who can say no to all this nature? I know I can’t.

What did you dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? Well, I wanted to be a poet. After all, that’s where it all really started for me. I never imagined I’d be an actor. It didn’t come true for a long time, at least not officially, but now I’ve made it, so I can say with certainty that - yes - my dream did come true.

Would you consider yourself a hero or villain in your life story? Be honest. Can I say neither? I don’t consider myself the hero of my story but I definitely don’t see myself as the villain either. I’m sort of like the weird side character that no one expected to like as much as they did. Maybe to some people I’m the hero though - I hope to some extent I made enough of an impact on people’s lives to be a hero for them.

#mmcollins #accepted

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ravens-words · 5 years ago

Text

we burned down our paper house

"Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. Epic."

Scenes from a lost decade.

Chapter 3 of 4

On AO3

............................

Early 2010

Michael sighed and leaned back on the chair, shoulders slumped and mouth pressed in a hard line. He stared at the e-mail he'd just gotten from Alex and did his best not to scream in frustration.

Leave wasn't approved. Sorry.

Short and to the point, just like the last dozen or so e-mails had been in the past few months.

Alex's tone had become almost impatient with him, his e-mails shorter and shorter. It'd gotten to the point where getting three long sentences out of Alex were cause for celebration. To Michael, it seemed like he was pulling away from him, little by little, and it hurt. It hurt, because he didn't know what he'd done wrong and so he had no idea how to fix it.

Did I do something wrong? He deleted the question the minute he wrote it out and held his head in his hands. They didn't talk about their relationship on here- or anywhere, he added bitterly in his head.

He stared at the blank page in front of him and after a minute of silent staring at the screen, he sighed, resigned. His fingers hovered over the keyboard and he thought of all the things he wanted to tell him. That he missed how they used to talk, missed his dry, yet hilarious sense of humor. Michael missed him, most of all and he wondered if he should hold onto the hope that he could ever get to have him.

Late 2011

Michael overheard Maria talking on the phone and nearly spilled his beer when he heard her mention Alex. He listened closely and his excitement hit the roof when she mentioned that he'd finished his first tour.

Maybe this meant he would get out of the air force altogether. Maybe he would finally get back because he had to have gotten a good amount of days for a leave. That night, he barely managed to sleep, too many thoughts warring with each other in his head.

The next day, he waited for an email, a visit, anything. But nothing came.

A week passed, and he didn't hear anything from Alex.

Hey, Alex, I just heard your tour is over? Why didn't you tell me? And when are you coming home?

The next day, he was the first person at the library. Mrs. Jamison gave him a weird look but didn't comment as he followed her in and waited patiently until she gave him the all clear to use the computer.

He hurriedly logged into his e-mail and sighed in relief when he found a message in his inbox.

"I'm not coming back, Guerin. I'm sorry."

Michael had been expecting this for months now. He'd known it was coming, had felt in his bones even, but that didn't make it hurt any less than a stab in the heart. He felt the sting of tears and sniffled pathetically.

He didn't know how he managed it when his mind was in such a numb haze, but he logged out and turned the computer off, then left the library and drove home.

I'm not coming back.

What little hope for them he'd managed to hold onto for the past couple of years vanished and he tried desperately to convince himself that it was for the best.

He was, predictably, unsuccessful.

Mid 2012

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself, Michael?"

Michael snorted and then giggled, pitching forward in Max's arms. Max caught him just before he fell face-first on the ground and grunted as he pulled him up.

"Seriously, why?"

Michael blinked drowsily at him. "What?"

Max huffed. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"I didn't do anything to myself. Thing 1 and Thing 2 did."

Max was unimpressed. "You punched the guy. Unprovoked."

Michael shrugged, or, he would've, if Max's hand wasn't like an anchor around his shoulders. He resisted the urge to lean into his brother and just made a vauge noise that he let Max interpret.

Max lowered him on the bench in the drunk tank and to Michael's surprise, he didn't leave. He crouched down in front of him and sighed. "What is it about today, huh?"

Michael shut his eyes tightly. "Nothing."

"Michael, I know things between us aren't the best right now, but you can talk to me, okay?"

He stayed silent, bit his tongue to stop the words clawing at his throat from escaping. He heard Max sigh and waited until he heard the cell door close quietly. Then,

"I miss him."

Late 2013

"I think Noah wants to have a baby."

Michael blinked at Isobel. "I think it's too early for this."

She huffed and all but forced her way through the door. She delicately lifted the edge of his crumbled blanket and slid it to the side. "What do I do?"

He shook his head and lifted his head up to look at the ceiling. "Maybe tell him you're not ready?"

"And what if I am?"

Her whispered confession hit him in the chest like a truck and he struggled with keeping his own feelings about this subject buried and to just focus on himself.

"What's stopping you, then?"

She scoffed. "Maybe that I'm an alien? That I know nothing about my own body? That I could be bringing a child with powers freakier than ours into this world? It's too- it would be too risky, and I- I can't tell him about any of this, so I'm stuck."

He sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulders, drawing her into his arms. "I'm really sorry, Iz."

"Yeah," she sniffled. "Yeah, me too." She wiped her eyes and seemed to pull herself together in the snap of a finger, and Michael marveled at her strength. "Tell me about your date with Janet."

Michael pulled a face. "We were talking about you."

She gave him an unimpressed look. "And now we're talking about you. Keep up."

He rolled his eyes, but gave in. "It was fine."

She glared. He sighed.

"This is the third date I've set you up on, Michael," she reminded him. "You really didn't like any of them?"

He shrugged. "I guess they just weren't-" Alex, his mind supplied, "-my type."

Isobel raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "Your type is anything that breathes. If you're going to lie to me, do better than that."

"Fine. I'm just not feeling it."

She searched his face, and to Michael's surprise, her face softened. "There's something you're not telling me."

Michael said nothing.

"You're hurting."

I'm always hurting.

Isobel rested her head on his shoulder. "It's gonna get better, Michael."

I really fucking hope so.

Mid 2014

Michael stared at Max's TV in silent terror, the words 'bombing' and 'air force base' and '12 servicemen killed and 56 injured' leaving him paralyzed with fear.

"Shit," Max cursed, eyes on the screen, then on Michael. There was a weird look on his face as he watched him, but Michael honestly couldn't muster the energy to try to find out what it meant.

So he sat on Max's couch, he stared at the now black screen of the TV and tried not to imagine Alex in a body bag, or in a hospital bed, or bleeding out in a desert miles and miles away.

That night, for the first time in four, almost five, years, he called him. The phone rang and rang and rang, but there was no answer.

That night, Michael slept with the phone pressed to his heart, hoping it would ring.

It never did.

Late 2015

Michael was three drinks in and spoiling for a fight when he walked in.

He forgot to breathe, everyone in the room but him disappeared and Michael could only watch.

He watched as he kept his head down and avoided eye contact with anyone.

He watched him give a polite, and obviously fake, smile to anyone who ignored his very apparent discomfort and decided to engage him in a conversation.

He watched him walk, he watched him breathe and he wanted nothing more than to go to him, drag him away and check for himself that he was whole, that he was still his Alex.

Drink now forgotten, Michael's eyes never strayed away from Alex's form, in fear that he'd actually lost it and had imagined him here.

As if drawn to him by some unknown force, Alex's eyes found his and Michael stopped breathing yet again. His whole body stiffened and he waited for the frost in the airman's eyes to melt, waited for the sharp edges of him to soften. It took a minute, but it eventually happened.

Alex's eyes softened and his shoulders drooped a little bit. His head tilted to the side, and that was enough for Michael. He stood, rather abruptly, and slowly sauntered out of the bar, feeling his eyes follow him all the way to the door.

He hurried to his truck, hands shaking and heart beating a mile a minute. When he got in, he put the key in the ignition and then settled both his hands on the steering wheel, squeezing it tightly.

When the bar door banged open and Alex stepped out, Michael could finally breathe.

Alex got into a black SUV, started driving, and Michael followed without question, unable to think of anything than this:

Alex is alive. Alex is here and he's breathing and, against all odds, he still wants me after five years.

It took him more than it should've to recognize where Alex was driving, and when his airstream came into view, Michael smiled to himself.

He waited for Alex to get out of his car before he did the same and then they just stood and stared at each other with only a few feet of space separating them.

Years lay heavy between them, yet despite that, Michael still felt lighter than he had in years.

He didn't know who made the first move, but only a few seconds later, Alex was in his arms and his lips were on his.

Michael wanted to suspend time. He wanted to stay in this moment, right here, for all of eternity.

Alex pulled away and Michael tightened his hold on him, too afraid that he might have changed his mind. Alex's hands found his shoulders and Michael's found his waist. He wanted to pull him closer, to hug him, but he didn't know if that was allowed anymore.

He wanted to ask him why he cut off all communications five years ago, wanted to tell him how much it hurt to lose touch with him so suddenly. He wanted to ask what he'd done wrong, what he could have done to fix things. Most of all, he wanted to tell him that he'd missed him with a ferocity that had scared him, but never surprised him.

Alex pulled him in before he could utter a word, though, and Michael forgot about all the things he wanted to say, forgot his own name, and got lost in Alex's touch.

Michael grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him inside, and Alex went with it, laughing softly at his obvious eagerness. The first kiss was fast and hard and was nothing more than an eager clash of teeth. Alex winced and Michael's fingers came up to stroke his cheeks and he brushed his lips brushed against Alex's in apology.

Alex wrapped his arms around Michael's shoulder and pulled him closer. Michael went willingly.

Their second kiss was slower, more gentle and Alex's lips were soft against his, pliant. Michael's hands drifted up from the airman's shoulders to his neck and after they pulled away for breath, he pulled him in again. This kiss was deeper, open-mouthed and filthy and he must have made his intentions clear with it because Alex, with a tight grip on his waist, led him onto the narrow bed.

They stumbled and laughed along the way, and suddenly, it felt as if no time had passed. He was settled, in a way he hadn't been for years.

And it was because he was finally in Alex's arms again.

Michael all but threw him onto the bed, then crawled in beside him. They lay there, trading lazy kisses, for what felt like hours.

Michael wished he could stay in this moment forever.

When Michael's hands drifted under Alex's shirt, and the kisses went back to being heated, Alex eagerly sat up and yanked his shirt off. And Michael just watched him; the ripple of toned muscles, the nimble, elegant fingers. When Alex caught him looking, he softened further and pulled him in close. Their foreheads touched and Michael saw Alex close his eyes. Try as he might, he couldn't close his, not when he still wasn't sure whether or not this was a dream. Ever so slowly, Alex leaned forward and tucked his face into Michael's neck. Michael closed his eyes. He expected Alex to place a kiss there, a bite, but instead, he just seemed to linger there, taking deep, controlled breaths. Michael let him, and pushed his face into Alex's hair. He breathed in and almost didn't want to exhale, just to keep the scent of him in his lungs for as long as possible.

Michael pressed a kiss to the crown of his head, his fingers combing Alex's hair. "Hey," he muttered softly.

Alex chuckled. "Hi."

"I missed you so much," he whispered.

Alex kept his head buried in Michael's neck but raised his hands to hug him tight. "Me too."

Michael danced his left hand from his neck to his shoulders and then down his chest. When he worked open the first button of Alex's jeans, Alex pulled away, but not before he pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"I'm glad you came back," Michael rasped.

Alex answered him with a bruising kiss that left them both gasping for breath.

When Michael woke up, he was alone in his bed. A jolt of fear ran down his spine and he sat up in bed, looking around wildly. When he realized that what had woken him up was the click of the airstream door, he scrambled up, clumsily putting on his sweats as he all but ran out.

He caught up to Alex just before he reached his car. "What the hell, Alex?!"

Alex froze with his back to him, and Michael gripped his shoulder and forced him to turn around.

"Let go, Guerin."

"Not until you tell me why you're leaving."

"Fucking let go, now." His voice was dangerously low, and Michael resisted the urge to follow his command.

"So last night meant nothing, huh? Just a quick fuck, then?"

Alex shook his head, wrist still firmly in Michael's hand. Michael had no doubt that he could have easily broken free of his hold, but was choosing not to. "Last night shouldn't have happened. It was-"

"Don't." Michael let go of him and stepped back. "Don't you dare say it was a mistake."

Alex's eyes darted all over his face, as if he was drinking him in but then the shutters came down and his eyes were nearly vacant of all emotions. He seemed to steel himself before he spoke. "Goodbye, Michael."

"You're really gonna leave me again?" He sounded broken when he'd meant to sound angry, bitter, or even accusing.

He recieved nothing but silence as Alex tried to tug his door open with obviously shaking hands.

"Six years, Alex. I've spent six years missing you; wondering what I did wrong to make you decide I wasn't worth your time anymore. And I won't ask you about it. If you want to forget it, that's fine, but the least you could do is to at least fucking try."

"Try?"

"Yeah!" He exclaimed. "Give us a chance-"

"There is no us!" Alex exploded. "As long as you're here and I'm not, there can never be an us, Guerin."

"Then be here," Michael pleaded, desperation clawing at his throat. This was truly it. Alex was going to get in the car and drive away and Michael would probably not see him for another five years, if not more. "Would you please just stay?"

"I can't," he murmured, and the words were final. But- he wasn't leaving. He didn't get in his car and drive away; it gave Michael hope that maybe there was still a chance he could convince him to stay.

"Why not?"

"Because I reenlisted? Because I can't see myself coming back to this hellhole permanently and I don't think you'll leave, not even for me? Because this-" he grabbed a hold of Michael's left hand and lifted it up at eye level, "-will always be there as a reminder of what being with me has done to your life."

"Being with you is the only thing I want, Alex. Being with you has always made me happy." Your leaving was what destroyed me every time, he added silently.

"I ruined your life."

"My life was already ruined before you came along, darlin' ; you don't get to take credit for that."

Alex let out a sharp breath. "If you hadn't kissed me that day, if we hadn't gotten back to the shed, if my dad hadn't found us-"

Michael was stunned, because he'd never once thought Alex might have blamed himself for everything that went wrong in his life since the day Rosa died when he'd been the one bright thing in his life at that time. "I'd still be here, just without the ruined hand."

Alex looked skeptical. "You really believe that?"

"I know it, Alex."

He sniffled and nodded, jaw clenched tight. When he looked away, Michael didn't. He could practically see the wheels turning in his head and he waited him out. "It's not gonna be easy."

Michael's heart stopped for a good three seconds. "Wha-what?"

"It's not gonna be easy, being together. I leave again in a few days. We'll be seeing each other twice a year, maybe four times if we're lucky, for the next three years. Phone calls will be rare and-" Alex looked him right in the eye and Michael saw him swallow thickly. "No one in this town can know about us-"

Michael didn't let him finish. He dragged him in by the collar and fused their mouths together, kisses eager and deep.

"You're staying?"

Alex let out a shuddering breath. "I- I think so."

He sounded terrified.

Michael pulled away but kept his hands on either side of Alex's neck.

"It's gonna be okay, Alex."

Alex nodded hesitantly. "We're gonna be okay," he whispered, as if trying to convince himself. He all but fell into Michael's arms, and when his forehead settled on Michael's, he heard him make a sound that was almost a whimper. Alex clutched the back of his shirt in two tight grips that only seemed to tighten when Michael moved to pull away.

So he didn't.

He wrapped his arms around him and hid his smile in the airman's shoulder.

"We're gonna be great."

#alex manes #michael guerin #malex #malex fic #EJ Writes

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