#their relationship is kind of everything to me........................
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cw — dry humping, making out, handjob, pet names ‘baby’ and ‘pretty girl’, best bf cheol (minors dni)
It’s a confession you make half-hoping Seungcheol doesn’t hear you: “you’re so hard. Let me jerk you off.”
You say it in the heat of the moment, utter it against his lips, reluctant partly because it’s perverted, it’s obscene, and it’s just utterly desperate of you, and partly also because you’re supposed to be taking it slow with him. You’ve had too many relationships go to shit when you fucked them right off the bat and found out after that you’d had nothing in common. Then you met Choi Seungcheol, who seemed a little too good to be true, and from the moment you’d told him you didn’t want to rush into any kind of intimacy just yet, he was more careful with your boundaries than you yourself.
For the last God-knows-how-long though, you’d sat in his lap, rutting yourself against him while he stole your breath with his lips, and fuck, he’s so hard against you that you think it must hurt, and he’s your boyfriend, so why wouldn’t you help him out?
When you say it, he tugs you away from him by your neck, not harsh or rough at all but rather in the way that everything he does has an air of dominance. He stares at you with hardened features, his attempt to appear stern betrayed only slightly by his kiss-swollen lips and cherry red cheeks, and yet you’re not afraid to persist.
“I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret,” he says, so soft and low that he could lull you to sleep.
“It’s fine, Cheol. It won’t even count because you’re not putting it inside,” you say with a shrug and a grin.
Seungcheol has never felt so torn in his life. He wants to build up tension slowly with you until you trust him, until you’re certain that you’re ready to go all the way with him, to take the next step and bare yourself to him. Saying no to you is impossible though, especially when you make him want to give you the entire world. He’s also so, so hard, and his only options are to give in to you or jerk himself off in the bathroom alone.
His thumb traces over your bottom lip, his boner growing worse from the soft suppleness of it, from the batting of your lashes, from the carnal gleam in your eyes. Fuck it, he thinks. You’re the one who wanted it in the first place, anyway.
“Alright,” he says, and he already sounds out of breath, like the mere thought of your hand around him is enough to make him lose his mind. (It is.)
He starts to shift beneath you, simultaneously grasping your waist to reposition you ever so slightly as he pulls his sweats a few inches down his hips while your ardent fingers help him along. “But the second you wanna stop, we stop, okay?”
“Not gonna wanna stop,” you say, humming. Seungcheol pauses and stares at you, unamused. It makes you roll your eyes. “God, okay, I’ll tell you if I wanna stop. Now can I touch your dick, please?”
He narrows his eyes at you in faux doubt, only to wink at you and finally push his boxers down enough to let his cock spring free.
You feel your insides literally warm at the sight of it. It’s darkened pink, veiny, long, and girthier than anything you’ve ever seen. How can you not think about how it would feel inside you, stretching you out? Because God knows it would stretch you out. You’re pretty sure you’ll need several weeks of foreplay for him to fit.
“Cheol, you’re huge…” you say before you can stop yourself, growing suddenly timid.
“Good thing I’m not putting it inside then, hm?” says Seungcheol, chuckling a little.
He notices the shift in your eyes—it’s not hesitation, you’re just stunned. His hand soothes up and down your back, a silent reminder to take your time. For a split second his heart drops when he thinks maybe you’ve changed your mind about this, about him, and then your hand reaches for his length.
“Can I?” you ask. So polite, as if you’ve never done anything like this before. It makes Seungcheol want to smother you with kisses.
“Please,” he replies, only hoping it’s not too desperate.
The relief when your fingers finally grasp him makes Seungcheol’s shoulder sag, and he finds himself sinking further into the couch when your thumb swirls over his reddened cockhead. Beads of precum drool from his slit and you smear them all over his tip, smirking softly when Seungcheol’s breath hitches in his throat.
With your bottom lip between your teeth to stop yourself from making an embarrassing noise, you start to pump his member slowly. You drool at the heaviness of it, at the way your fingers don’t touch as they wrap around him, at Seungcheol’s tiny noises as he inhales and exhales.
“Think you could spit on it for me?” he asks and his voice has dropped about three octaves now. He’s careful with his words, wanting nothing but for you to do things on your own accord.
He has to stop himself from cumming on the spot when you give a nod and a sweet smile before bending forward to let a dollop of spit drop from your pretty lips and land perfectly on his tip.
“Show me how you like it, Cheol,” you say. His heart skips several beats and he wishes he could record your words and listen to them again and again. Fuck, you’re perfect. He already knew that, knew it after about two weeks of knowing you, but you just keep affirming it for him and he wonders if you know your effect on him.
Seungcheol’s hand is warm as it engulfs yours. His grip is much tighter—painful even, you would think, but as he starts guiding your hand up and down with vigour, he throws his head back and moans, and you can’t help the way your pussy aches at the sound.
He shows you exactly how he likes it: tight, and with a flick of the wrist to swirl around his tip.
“God, fuck, baby, that’s it,” he grunts and bucks his hips into your hand.
Heat creeps up the back of your neck. There’s a dash of timidness you get from being this intimate with Seungcheol for the first time, although it’s not even you who’s exposed, and then there’s desire. Wild, burning lust. He’s the hottest man you’ve ever laid eyes on, and he’s falling apart in your hands.
“Your cock’s so pretty, Cheollie,” you say. His already dark eyes have grown impossibly darker, riddled with want as they flicker between your intertwined fingers around his cock, and your face. “Can’t wait to have it in my mouth.”
“F-fuck, didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth, pretty girl,” he moans, quickening your pace. His precum leaks all over your fingers, so wet that there’s an audible slick sound with every pump up and down.
“Only for you,” you say, and your gaze falls to his glistening lips, and you’re moving absentmindedly towards them until you’re kissing him. It’s even messier than before, more breathless, like neither of you are holding back your wanting anymore. Your tongue licks against his shamelessly. You’re hungry for him. He settles a hand at the nape of your neck, drawing you closer to him so that he can kiss you so hard your head starts to spin.
You’re not sure when you’d started grinding on him again, rutting your crotch over his hard thigh like a dog, but you can’t find it in yourself to feel ashamed of yourself when Seungcheol’s chest is starting to heave, his moans are growing more frequent, and his cock is throbbing against your hand.
“You’re twitching, Cheol. Are you gonna cum?” you tease, your cunt fluttering.
“Yeah, ’m close,” he says through gritted teeth.
And he’s certainly honest, because a few more strokes and he’s giving a deep, guttural groan and cumming in thick, milky white spurts all over his hoodie. His blissed out face is a sight to behold, although he doesn’t let you do so in favour of pulling you in for another kiss, one that’s soft and chaste this time.
Choi Seungcheol’s duality will kill you one day.
“Did so good for me, baby, thank you,” he says, giving you his sugary smile. “I’m gonna go… uh, change real quick and then I’ll return the favour, yeah?”
“Wh- return the favour? But- that- I wanted to help you out, though, so it’s fine!” you stutter, and he’s already plucked you off his lap like you’re weightless and stood up to his feet.
“Baby,” he says, taking your hand. “I felt you grinding all over my leg. Let me take care of you like you did for me.”
#svthub#thediamondlifenetwork#scoups x reader#scoups smut#choi seungcheol smut#choi seungcheol x reader#svt smut#seventeen smut#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt imagines#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#svt x you#[୨୧] — starring: seungcheol
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Relationship and Compatibility Takes 📍📍📍
Credit @astroismypassion
This is purely based on real life, more so astrology opinions about placements in the Natal chart, so don’t take things to heart.
📍 Cancer Venus men: What is up with them? I think this is one of the placements that is so misrepresented in astrology community. They act really impulsively based on emotion without careful reasoning or thinking of the long-term consequences. The clingy, emotionally mature and wise must be Cancer Venus women then. They are attracted to younger partners. Loves giving food as a gift, even for birthdays. Even when committed, they are not that incredibly loyal and devoted as often described, I’ve seen these people change partners fast or end a partnership on a whim. Also, minus points for not being as affectionate as they are often described. Low key this Venus sign does not give me any stability vibes, they are highly unpredictable (each day is different), must be up there with Gemini, Aquarius, Virgo Venus.
📍 Capricorn Moon: These people attract people with father issues or those who don’t have a father present in their life. Usually Capricorn Moon’s partner has life-long challenges with the father. I noticed a lot of partners of Capricorn Moon became more depressed as the time passed. The partnership with Capricorn Moon can weigh them down, but only after years, this becomes noticable. Loves younger partners.
📍 Gemini Juno: having a Gemini Juno as a partner is a very unique experience. They will remember your favourite snack, song that you mentioned on the first date. However, they do demand a lot in return! They like someone as equally thoughtful, observant and some who just pays attention to everything they say, do and how they react. Gemini Juno native, however, really just loves simple picnics in nature, going for coffee with you, cooking with you, watching films with favourite snacks. They are in love with all the little, simple things in life shown consistently and usually don’t need big gestures.
📍 Ascendant Pluto aspects men: Loves to date significantly younger partner from what I’ve seen. They always go for someone unassuming and less popular than them, but who is really kind, sweet and cute. Genuine kindness and being a good person is so important to them in a partner. However, likely to choose a younger partner, so they can better control them. I said what I said, they can’t help themselves.
📍Pisces Moon: Low key loves to be bossed around. They attract controlling and orderly partners, because they crave a sense of structure that they lacked as a child.
📍Aries Moon: They are looking for a partner with rules, who will bring discipline to the relationship and someone who will dominate them. These people are so soft and obedient around their family members, close friends or a partner! They just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, like ever.
📍Aquarius Moon: They love travelling with their friends, even with a couple third wheeling like a really throuple. Some even go camping with friends often. They love having traditions with friends, like for halloween or like a yearly ski trip. This is either a city boi turned country boy or vice versa. Someone who lived in the country their first half of live and later moved to a bigger city. They are kinda urban people, but then always complains about wanting a more peaceful environment.
📍Pisces Mars: Quite literally the dick that doesn’t know any limits. So struggles with boundaries, if their feelings are involved. These people are lead by their emotions. If they still like you, they will want to touch you. Low key, sometimes disregards whether you are in a partnership or not, because they don’t even care, because their emotions are involved. But they do give plenty second chances, benefit of the doubt! And you will feel like it is incredibly hard to walk away from Pisces Mars, just because they are trying to have that eternal bond with you and it shows! They really want to keep you in their life forever, if they feel like you two are vibing well!
📍Scorpio Moon: Now, this is just alltogether an unique one! I argue this is the most unique, complex and interesting native, because each is so specific due to their lifestory and experiences. They have really one-of-a-kind life and energy and you will feel it! However, yes! They are obsessed with themselves (like JLo), but usually is rightly so! They are the highest earner in the company, your rags to riches lifestory hero, someone who had a transformative effect on their field. They usually have controlling partners.
📍Taurus Moon: Why does every Taurus Moon I know behave like a Libra Moon? 😩 They are either single and content for a while or can be constantly found in a partnership. This doesn’t mean they are codependent, just always find themselves in a partnership. Though, they do heavily rely on emotional support from their partner, because they don’t receive it from their family.
📍Gemini Venus: For what I’ve seen a lot of Gemini Venuses met their “real love” partner while in a marriage or partnership to someone else.
📍Libra Mars/Mars at a Libra degree (7, 19): They are low key so erratic😭. Their behaviour towards you is constantly switching up. This makes them appear chaotic, inconsistent and indecisive, very hot and cold behaviour as well. They are actually really critical of people around them. They have a tendency “to discipline” their partners. They can be tactless, out of all Libra placements this is not a peaceful mediator, but the one that stirs conflict between their partner and their family. And at the first moment they seem to be fed up, they end the relationship and find a new one. They switch partners a lot and have dated quite a few people in life, but always for a shorter period of time. They struggle with keeping a partnership for 2, 3 years. They also desire really flexible, compromising partner who go along with their wishes.
📍Leo Venus: some say that if you have Leo Venus as your partner, that this means you are really good-looking. They are realy sweet, but demanding. It’s not a walk in the park to get them OR to KEEP them. They are selective. But their downside is that they struggle not with getting a partner, but keeping them. I think they have a hard time holding onto a relationship, like any other Leo placement (I’m looking at you Leo Moon and Leo Lilith👀).
📍Capricorn Venus: Ahh, these are my late bloomers. Best not to get tied down to a marriage before your first Saturn Return. These natives when younger, before the age of 30, have a skewed idea of love, partnership or marriage. It’s best to do some soul searching and getting to know your values, expectations before entering a partnership. Because this is why they experience so much disappointment in younger years. Their old age is the time to get coupled up! And also, really take the necessary time to understand yourself. You usually when younger just get along with whatever your partner suggests!
📍Aquarius Venus, Venus at an Aquarius degree (11, 23): Surprisingly, they could have a committed partner and still a “friend” with whom they are romantic on the side. They are romantic with their friends a lot of time, consciously or unconsciously.
📍 Leo Mars: They are more Leo Sun than the real Leo Sun, if you ask me. Surprisingly emotional! But they are quick to forgive you, if you acknowledge and validate their emotions. They need a partner that will make their perspective heard. When they feel under-appreciated, they act out, which leads to dramatic frustration or hurt. Also, they are constantly act in ways that they seek acknowledgement, validation from their partner. But they will celebrate you in return! If you are acting too shy with them, it’s also a no go for them!
📍Taurus Mars: Surprisingly controlling, like Virgo Mars, likes routine and predictable partnerships, they dislike flaky people. They will resolve conflict only if they believe in the long-term of a partnership! Otherwise, they will sink that partnership. Need a lot of validation from partner. Also, they seek drama and conflica when they sense you ignoring them or pulling back too much and this is kind of unexpected from them.
📍Cancer Mars: Wants to build a home or family together with a partner or completely runs away from the idea. They cherish memories, traditions and milestones, can be sentimental and nostalgic in this manner. They often look back on your shared memories together and reminisce. However, be mindful, they struggle with letting go of past hurts, grievances in the partnership. Because they withdraw so often, you are likely to experience misunderstandings with them!
📍Mars in the 10th house: They are trying to create business, legacy and personal success with their partner. They seek a partnership that aligns with or enhances them. Attracted to people who excude strength, authority or have a commanding presence. Usually Mars in the 10th house takes a leadership role in the partnership, so prepare for this! They also want to constantly influence the direction of the partnership. Or wanting “to guide” you! They might attract partners for the wrong reasons, such as status or mutual gain, rather than emotional compatibility, so beware.
📍Sagittarius Mars: Hates controlling partners. They dislike predictability and stagnant energy, unless this is indicated by other aspects. They love idea of building and growing a partnership. They desire new levels of commitment. Loves someone who is enthusiastic about going to a new coffee shop, wants to try new cuisine. They crave a balance between closeness and pursuing own interests, passions. Because they are so blunt themselves, they expect their partner to do the same! In conflicts, they prioritize truth over sensitivity and that’s the hard truth about them! They are incredibly playful, like what you would expect from a Leo Mars, often create spontaneous plans, trips. They are restless and struggle with focus in long-term partnership.
📍Virgo Mars: They attract a lot of emotionally constipated, emotionally unavailable people (which is true for Gemini and Virgo placements in general). They naturally worry or have anxiety about the partnership. They struggle to see the bigger picture when in a partnership. They are conflict avoidant. But they do need a partner that is stable, deliberate, attentive and not overly dramatic. They always need a sense of well organisation in a partnership in order to thrive.
#astrology#astroismypassion#astro notes#astroblr#astro community#astro note#astro observations#natal chart#astrology blog#chart reading
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Choi Su-bong/Thanos (Squid Game) x fem! reader HCS
IM OBSESSED WITH THIS MAN!!!!!
also first ever post?! it’s a little short, but hope ya enjoy!!
SFW:
• he ADORES physical touch
• touching u at every chance he gets, like even simple hand holding, leaning against u
• HE LOVES IT ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES FROM U!!
• casually grabs u by ur ass in public, or give u a lil slap. when u confront him about it, he acts like he dont know what are u talking about, then giggle
• using ur breast like fidget toy, when he’s stressed
• squeezing it, when he feels like it
• shoving his head between ur boobs, bro can stay like that for a good 10 minutes until he calms down
• if u ask him if he would still love u as a worm, he would tell u that he’s not a zoophile
• pet names!! baby, babe, princess are his favs!
• he’s not so good with commitment and stuff like that, would prefer an open relationship (one sided tho, he's so possesive of u)
• have huge jealousy issues when it comes to u
• a male species near u??? he goes into rage mode, getting aggressively touchy to claim u! show everyone that u are his!!
• would apologise to u with rap songs
“Y/N” he screamed outside your house. throwing rocks at the window to wake u up.
“what the fuck…” u muttered to yourself, as u walked over to the window to check what this idiot come up with this time.
as soon as he saw your face, he screamed again, his hands clutching onto his chest “SEÑORITA!!! I WANT TO APOLOGISE TO U!”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!! U DO REALISE THAT ITS 3 AM RIGHT NOW???” u screamed back at him, slightly leaning forward through window.
“I LOVE U!!!!!” he get on his knees.
“ARE U HIGH?????” u asked, clearly pissed at his presence.
“HI!!!!!” he said as he waved his hands to u, enthusiastically with a goofy grin.
even after this response, u can’t tell if he’s high. that’s pretty much how he’s acting regardless if he’s on drugs or not.
he turn on boombox, a cliche beat hit your ears. he stands up and cleared his throat.
“Yo, I messed up, I admit it, I’m a clown,
Flirting like a fool when you weren’t around.
But I swear, it was harmless, just a slip of the tongue,
Now I’m here confessing where I went wrong.
I told her, "Hey, nice shoes," and that’s all I meant,
But now I’m in the doghouse, paying the rent.
Baby, you’re the star, the queen of my heart,
And that other conversation? A throwaway part.
She laughed at my joke, yeah, I felt kinda cool,
But now I see, I was the class clown fool.
I’d never trade you for some silly chat,
You’re the boss, the CEO, I’m just the doormat.
I’ll buy you flowers, write your name in the sky,
Sing off-key if it’ll dry your eyes.
I’ll even quit drugs if you need me to,
Just don’t leave me hangin’, I’m a mess without you.
So baby, I’m here, on my knees with this beat,
Admitting my crimes, can’t handle defeat.
Let’s laugh this off, put it in the past,
‘Cause you and me, girl, we’re built to last.”
he end up the song showing a small heart formed with his thumb and index finger.
u sighed “all right, come inside”
“YAYY!!!” he did a happy jump and clapped his feet in midair.
• tbh he’s so silly
• steals flowers from a random garden for u
• night visits, but uses a window instead of a door to enter ur place, literally like some kind of teenager
• even if u gave him the keys to ur apartment, he will use the window no matter what
it was dark outside, about 11 pm. u were coming back from work. damn how exhausted u felt. some arguments with clients, boss yelling at u. it was not ur best day for sure.
u checked ur phone. still no text from Thanos. why he was ghosting u? probably he don’t want to deal with ur complains about how bad ur day went.
u opened the apartment door. u don't give a damn about anything. you plan to go to bed right away, you don't have the strength to change your clothes, wash yourself or eat something.
you threw everything aside and went to the bedroom. when you turn on the light in the room, you see your boyfriend lying on his side, resting his head on his hand, rose in his teeth.
“U WANT TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK???” u flinched. u can’t get used to Thanos randomly spawning in ur house.
“and i missed u too, princess” he grinned, standing up and then theatrically hand over the rose to u.
“i brought ur fav burgers and lotta beer” he said, pointing out at ur kitchen.
“thanks” u smiled softly at him. u can’t help but melt inside at his behaviour. he’a an asshole, but what a cute asshole.
“no problem, babe” he leaned to u, giving u a tight hug. burying his face in the crook of ur neck.
• avoids deep emotional conversation
• would tell that he loves u, but he don’t put much weight into that
• he’s saying it casually like it’s common sense that he loves u
• painting each others nails!!!!
NSFW:
• pansexual king, but he wouldn’t label himself
• he don’t care about gender, he fucks who he consider as cute and that’s it!!
• when u ride him, he would comment something like: WROOM WROOM!! or YEEHAW!!!
• A TOTAL FREAK….
• piss kink (y’all can’t prove me wrong)
• HE LIKES IT DIRTY!!!!
• public sex
• like fingering u in a club or on a party, sometimes anal when he's high
• claiming u like that in front of other people?? IT TURNS HIM ON SO BADD
• never a sub, it would hurt his ego
• bro don’t know what gentle sex is
• always rough and aggressive
• smokes weed/cigarettes during sex, blowing smoke in your face
• talking about himself in third person "yeah, babe. the great Thanos will make u feel so good”
“u like that slut? u like Thanos’s dick that much??”
• he’s not into after care. usually he just rolls down on bed, doesn't even bother putting on clothes, hug u tightly and fall asleep like that
#squid game#squid game x reader#thanos squid game#thanos x reader#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader
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Wherever you go, that's where I'll follow — Gojo Satoru
pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader
synopsis: crushed by the pressure of his work, Satoru and the reader's relationship begins to spiral. You do everything you can to make him happy, but you fear it's not enough. Maybe it never was. After a miscalculation that could have resulted in innocent lives being lost, the situation takes a turn for the worse.
Word count: 17k+ (I'm sorry in advance)
genre: heavy angst with happy ending
warnings: heavy angst, swearing, reader is a motherly figure to Megumi but their relationship is a bit strained, mentions of depression and self-doubt, reader is a sorcerer, fighting, insecurity, arguments, and breakups (?), descriptions of gore, mentions of sexual intercourse (mdni), depictions of a complicated and untraditional relationship, reader gets hurt, hardly edited/proofread (oops), gojo is fed up and mean :(
a/n: this is the first and longest thing I've ever posted on here lol. I felt like there was a lack of sorcerer!reader, so I played around with that concept a little bit. other than potentially shitty writing (sorry for any typos or grammatical errors), I truly hope you enjoy <3
“Get out.”
The hash sentiment lingers, hanging heavily in the air.
“Well, hello to you too.”
He hears your feet shuffle across the floor as you stumble to take your shoes and coat off. “I just came to check on you.”
“And I’m fine,” he responds without moving, one arm up, draping over his aching eyes. He lies on the living room couch, one lanky leg propped up at an angle.
“You’re clearly not fine,” you respond, seeming unphased. “Have you eaten anything?” You ask, waiting for a response that never comes. “Okay, I’ll make your favorite ramen.”
He feels the side of the couch dip, your hand settling on his chest. Your fingers were greedy like you couldn’t stop yourself from playing with the fabric or caressing his taut muscles. Your voice is gentler when you speak this time. “Do you want an ice pack? Some tea?”
You two have done this dance before. You come home to find him exhausted, overworked with a migraine that could tranquilize an elephant. And just like always, you carefully slip his shoes off and unbutton the sleek black jacket to his uniform. It’s hard for him to stay mad about anything when you’re this kind, this caring.
“Satoru, please say something.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
Your voice was so gentle. So sweet, saccharine, and so fucking patient. A voice you only ever reserved for him and for his ears only. A gentle whisper carried in a gentle breeze. It was his favorite sound.
But not tonight.
So you try something else. Sweet kisses along the corner of his lips. You’re even bold enough to move his arm, the arm he was using to desperately block out any light or simulation. You kiss his eyelids, his forehead, and cheeks—feather-light. Your hand slides up his chest before reaching his face. You caress your thumb under his closed eyes, and your other hand finds his hair, gently massaging his temple. He has all of you. Every bit.
“Let me take care of you.” If it were any other night, your breath fanning his neck would have shattered him; goosebumps would have wrecked his body, he’d shiver, and everything in him would ease, and all of his stress would slip away into nothingness. He never had to be the strongest with you. You would render him down to nothing but a simple man with just a few words. “You don’t look too good, honey. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.” For a woman so strong in your own right, a woman of unyielding dignity and poise and unwavering determination to succeed, this is his favorite side of you.
But not tonight.
When his hand clasps your wrist, he feels your whole body freeze against his. Maybe you were surprised. Maybe you predicted this and were preparing yourself but-
The tongue-lashing dies in his throat when he opens his eyes. Just a peak to your face makes him falter. You were pouting. Worried. “I’m fine.” it’s harsher than you deserve but kinder than the thoughts swirling through his head a second ago.
He’s agitated. Stuck in the same old system that continues to fuck him over—his students over.
And yet, you just looked too beautiful.
You pull away, finally taking the hint. Then, you stand, fully removing yourself from him and stepping away. Your body heat quickly disappears from where you once sat, and he quivers. The room was quiet once again.
The room remained quiet even as you placed a hot bowl of ramen on the table beside him, a glass of water, and two pills.
You slept alone that night.
-
You remember when you first met Megumi.
“Who the hell are you?”
You never would have expected that to be the the words from a child you had just met. You raised a brow. “Well, aren’t you a fucking, brat?”
You were different back then—colder, angrier. You were similar in that sense.
Oddly enough, maybe that’s what gravitated him to you.
You’re not sure when it happened, but gradually, the harsh edges of you began to… change. Not entirely softened, as thorns remained, but you bloomed, red petals and all. You grew softer, kinder, more patient—and finally—your heart had made space for others. The fear of loss remained, but you had never cared for someone so fragile. No one had ever cried for you, reached for you with small chubby fingers, or depended on you as he once had. You never had someone in your life that needed to be nurtured, protected, and guided.
He was just a boy.
Over time, you realized that if you remained unchanged, perhaps he would never grow into the man he needed to be. You’re not sure why he picked you, why he looked up to you of all people, but he did. He found comfort in you and followed you like a little duckling with a little waddle and permanent scowl.
There wasn't a rhyme or reason. He chose you, and you chose him.
Soon enough, you were waking him up for school, running your hands through his messy, dark locks. You were making him bento boxes, running to parent-teacher conferences, and having hard but meaningful conversations with him in his room about his troubling behavior.
Then you were hugging him as he cried, as he revealed the same dark thoughts you once had about yourself.
You wished this world wasn’t so cruel, so dark. You hope that in a different life, he would have grown into a normal kid, with hopes and dreams and a list of things he wanted to do and go out and experience. You didn’t want him to be shackled to a world that’s left you so scarred.
You fought for any sense of normality you could give him. If that meant confronting the higher-ups, so be it. At times, you even confronted Satoru.
He was just a boy.
Fire never harmed you; it never dared to scorch your skin. You commanded and held domination over nearly every flicker of heat. He was so small when you met him; you remember the first time you saw his small form shiver in the cold. It made you anxious. Despite buying him the heaviest winter coat you could find, you were beside yourself, always wondering—is he warm enough?
But, long were the days of you bundling him up in his jacket, tying his shoes, and tugging beanies over his dark hair and red ears. Long were the days of you clasping his little hands in yours to bring them warmth when the air grew too bitter. He grew older, smarter, wiser, and stronger. The boy that used to cling to your skirt after a hard day at school now stood inches taller than you.
You knew that one day he’d leave you, and you were okay with that. Seeing him so ready for the world made you happy. You worried—of course you still worried—but you were so proud. He was hesitant, unsure at times, and sometimes even looked back to you for assurance.
You were always there, smiling, ushering him along.
You can do it. I believe in you.
You grew up together, you think. Sometimes, you wondered if he ever paid for your shortcomings, or if he remembered your failures as a caregiver, but just like you did him, he’d assure you with a soft nudge and a gentle smile.
He knows you did the best you could with what you had.
He was just a boy.
Your boy.
He wasn’t yours, but you loved him like he was. Only as he grew did you realize the lines you had crossed.
He doesn’t remember his mother, but you’re sure he remembered her smile, perhaps her touch, or the sound of her laughter. You never meant to impose on her memory.
When it happened, he had just gotten into Tokyo Jujutsu High, and Satoru took him on his first official mission. You no longer had the means of pushing this off; you couldn’t beg Satoru or the higher-ups for another month, another week, another day. Megumi wasn’t a normal kid. He was a sorcerer and needed to start fulfilling his duties and mastering his technique.
“You can’t avoid the inevitable. You can’t protect him forever,” Satoru had once told you.
You knew he was right.
You stayed home that day, anxious and worried, but you knew Megumi would be alright. Satoru was with him. Even if the tall man was a bit harder on Megumi than you, you knew he’d keep him safe.
However, your worst fears came to fruition. Megumi wasn’t the same after that mission.
You remember. Satoru’s eyes were stern that night while Megumi's eyes never left the floor as he made his way to his room.
You remember thinking—what could I do to make my boys happy again?
After all, they were your everything, the reason you stood here now with a full heart. Things were newer for you and Satoru then, but he kissed you that night, warm, large hands gently holding your cheeks. He missed you a little bit extra that day. You were nervous, hesitant to fall into the sanctuary of his embrace, but it was only a matter of time until you were fully, devotedly his.
“Are you okay?” You had asked, only for him to nod his head.
“Yeah. Of course, I am, angel. Megumi is shaken up, but he’ll be alright too.”
You made Megumi’s favorite dinner that night—the same beefsteak he’s raved about since he was only six. Well, he never raved, but you perfectly remember the first time you made it, which happened to be the first time he tried it. He could barely get his chin over the table to scope his food into his mouth. He wasn’t good with chopsticks yet, so he used a little fork, which he held in his tiny fist. His little eyebrows raised before dipping down, creasing at the inner corners as he concentrated on the flavor. He murmured it’s good, and you remember being so proud of yourself. That was one of the first times you felt that you were doing something right by him. You made the same dish on occasion, and time only helped you perfect the recipe.
Megumi never came out of his room that night. The lights were off when you knocked. Even after hearing no response, you had cracked open the door, poking your head inside.
“Gumiii,” you stepped into his room. He was on his bed, groaning as you flicked the light on. He turned his back to you. “I made your favoriteee.”
You had sat on the edge of his bed, a hot plate of food in your hands. “C’mon, it’s the beefsteak you like. Nice and warm.”
“‘m not hungry,” he had grumbled.
You sighed. “The mission must have been unpleasant.” He remained still. “I’m sorry, Gumi. Satoru said you did well! I’m proud of you—” he flinched from your touch, snapping his arm away from your reach. You froze, having felt the coldness of his rejection. “If you don’t want to talk about the mission, how was your first day at your new school?” You asked. “Do you have any classmates you like?”
“Just quit it already…” he had murmured. “I’m not in the mood.”
Your shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. I just want to make sure you’re okay. My first mission was tough too, and you already know I wasn’t great at making friends either–” you winced, biting your tongue. This was coming out all wrong. “… are you okay, Megumi?”
“I’m fine!” He clipped, pushing himself upright in bed. “Just leave me alone and stop acting like you’re my mom already!”
You remembered—and just the memory of that night shambled your heart. You could never forget the hurt those words caused and how you couldn’t show it.
You had smiled wearily. Then, you placed his dinner on his desk. “…you’re right,” you echoed. “I’m not her, never could be. I’m sorry if I imposed. I never meant to.”
You never spoke of the incident, but you remembered that things were tense between Satoru and Megumi for a short while after that. You told Satoru to drop it, but you had a feeling the poor boy received a tongue-lashing from Satoru. You were never sure, though, and you could never prove it.
You just remembered feeling cracks in the foundation of the home you never knew you had so carefully crafted, brick by brick. Some of the warmth was gone—a warmth you never knew was quite there until it wasn’t.
Little by little, you pulled back. Megumi moved into the student dorms shortly after, and he needed you less and less. You no longer made him bento boxes or his favorite beefsteak. You bit your tongue with the lectures: Megumi, that’s not nice, or Megumi, you need to have more faith in yourself. You can do it.
Though the bitter bite of cold never entirely touched you, heated by an unquenchable fame, you pulled back your hand when you reached for him. He left you seared—burned.
You still worried. You never knew if you were giving him too much or not enough. So, you left most of the mentoring to Satoru now. It’s been a few months since the incident, and now you only ever speak to him if he approached you first.
That's why you were happy when you spotted him in town. You offered him a small, shy wave. He unexpectedly approached you and asked how you were and what you’d been up to. However, the most unexpected part was when he asked if you were busy. You shook your head, and it was impossible to hide you beam when he offered to get you hot chocolate from the same coffee shop you used to take him to after school in the colder months.
However, it seemed you weren’t the only one confused by Satoru’s recent behavior.
“Huh?”
“Gojo didn’t want me going on my mission,” Megumi reiterated.
You blink a few times, tapping your fingers against the styrofoam cup in your hands. “Huh. He’s never done that before.”
“He doesn’t think I’m ready. He took the mission himself.”
“He said that? That he doesn’t think you’re ready?”
“Well… not exactly.” He scowls slightly, looking down at the cup of hot chocolate. “But he damn well implied it.”
“Gumi,” you frown at the boy. He doesn’t make eye contact with you; he looks forward now, gazing out the window and watching the fresh snow coat the ground.
He was upset.
“He could’ve at least taken me with him.”
For a moment, you see that same little boy you met over ten years ago and that same dejected look on his face after being let down one too many times. It breaks your heart.
“If Satoru took the mission and went alone, I’m sure it’s for a good reason.”
He wants to say more but opts for something quick and sweet. “Yeah. Maybe.”
You have to do something. Quick. Anything to make him a bit happier. “I have a mission later in Osaka. I’ll be catching the 2 pm train. Wanna come? I could use the extra help.”
He’s quiet for a moment, thinking, you presume, but he nods. “Yeah, sure. I don’t have anything else to do.”
“Great! And just so you know, we’ll probably be dealing with a grade one or two.”
He pauses momentarily before calmly asking, “And you need help with that?”
“Uh, yeah. Any help is much appreciated. Plus, I haven’t seen you much recently.” You smile brightly, and he turns his head, eyes finding the ground, looking a little bashful.
“About that…”
“Don’t worry about it,” you wave him off. “You’ve been busy with school, and I know that.”
“But that’s not–”
“It’s okay, Megumi,” you smile again, resisting the urge to reach across the table and gently squeeze his hand. “I get it.”
He gives you a look, a small disgruntled scowl. He wanted to say more.
“Alrighty then.” You stand, stretching from sitting in the chair. “I’ll buy you another hot chocolate for the road. We should probably start getting ready to leave.”
-
The mission goes well. An abandoned warehouse in Osaka conjured up a nasty looking grade three, but Megumi held his own just fine—like you expected. He’s grown much stronger and more sure of himself. You’re proud. Seeing how far he’s come certainly puts a smile on your face. He’s not a little boy anymore, you realized. He’s growing into a fine young man.
Urg. Stop getting emotional.
However, after stopping for a later dinner, you both arrived home late, around nine or so.
“You did good tonight, Megumi,” you tell him for the nth time.
He rolls his eyes, tucking his hands deep into his pockets. “You’ve told me that already.”
“I know, I know. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m proud of you. You’re getting so much stronger.”
Instead of brushing you off like all the other times, he sighs before offering a forced “thanks.”
“Alrighty then. Try and get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you and the others sometime tomorrow, yeah?”
“Sounds good. Get back home safe.”
You nod, smiling. You make sure to watch him as he goes, making sure he gets inside before turning around. He’s capable of taking care of himself, but some habits never grow old. Making sure he gets inside anywhere safely has always been something you’ve prioritized, whether he was going to a friend's house, school, or boarding the train.
You loved him like your own, but you knew he wasn't. After all, it was only a few months ago now that he reminded you that he wasn't yours.
You’re not my mom.
It hurt—it still does—but you never held it against him. You still loved him nevertheless. Your relationship might have shifted but it doesn’t negate the fact that you care for him and would gladly give your life if it meant keeping him safe.
Then, there was Kugisaki and Itadori—two others slowly weaseling their way into your heart. They’ve helped Megumi so much; he might be too proud to admit it, but they’ve helped him come out of his shell; they were his friends, and you knew they had each other backs.
You sigh, a translucent cloud of white floating up and above your head. Just like always, your thoughts shift to blue eyes. Satoru. You’ve missed him today. No calls or obnoxious spam texts. It’s not unusual per se, especially when he gets busy. Regardless, you missed him.
But, something is bothering you. He wasn't communicating with you and he usually tells you these things. Even if he didn't have the time to tell you something right away, he'd eventually find a moment to talk to you. This time around, he didn’t. He didn't tell you he was leaving or about the whole ordeal with Megumi.
He just got up and left. You woke to a cold bed and an empty house. No text message, no note with a silly doodle. When you called him in the morning, it went right to voicemail. Eventually, when you pull up your shared text messages to check for anything new, you only saw the message you sent him from the day before. At a loss, you type out a quick message. You didn't think it would make things better, but at least it was something.
I hope you have a good day today :)
It was all you could really muster up after last night. He seemed so agitated, and so fed up. You blamed it on stress; he isn’t usually like that. Usually, his touch was careful, calculated as if you were fixed of glass. You missed his lame jokes and mischievous grins when he was up to no good. You weren't offered any of that last night. Or the night before. Even the night before that.
You’re starting to worry.
He always bounces back so quickly. The only thing that typically gets him this mad are the higher-ups. Which, in Megumi's case, makes sense. You can see why Gojo would intervene if they gave him a dangerous mission.
But why didn’t he take Megumi with him, at least?
Hm.. maybe it was beyond Megumi's skill set. Would the elders be stupid enough to set him up? They did it to you long ago, but they wouldn’t be bold enough to do it to the boy with the ten shadows technique, would they?
Or maybe Satoru… just doesn’t want to be near you?
Urg. You roll your eyes at your own selfish thoughts. Satoru wouldn’t do something like that. He’s already overworked as it is. Maybe you should make him something. A nice dinner? Or maybe he needed a pick-me-up? Kikufuku? You’re sure you could find the recipe online.
You're torn, so you decide to make both. Maybe you'll even put on a nice dress.
You decide to call him, and after a few rings, he answers. “Hey, honey,” you say sweetly, happy he even bothered to answer your call. "I was wondering when you’d be home tonight. I want to make you a nice dinner.”
He’s quiet again—too quiet. “Dinner? Tonight?”
“Yeah, you’ve been so busy lately. I figured you’d like that.”
He hums into the phone, sounding a bit lighter. “Dinner does sound nice…”
Your smile widens. You could hear the underlying stress in his tone; it was flatter than usual, but at least he was trying. “... I’ll even put on your favorite dress?”
He chuckles a bit. “Tempting, but I’ll probably have to leave after dinner.”
“Oh,” you murmur, wincing slightly at the rejection. Maybe you’ve gotten too spoiled—too accustomed to him pushing off his responsibilities all for the sake of spending a few more moments with you. Were you being too greedy? “Are you okay? They’re not stretching you too thin, are they?”
He sighs in a carefree tone. “I'm doing fine. Same old thing, just a different day,” is all he offers, but you can tell he’s withholding.
“I can help, y’know,” you offer gently. “If you have too many missions, I can take a few off your plate.”
“Nah,” he tells you a bit arrogantly. “It’s better if I handle it.”
Now you’re really starting to feel the distance. He usually reserves the softer parts of him for you. You suppose he just didn’t have the patience to do so right now. “You, uh, got into it with the higher-ups I heard,” you mention, trying to keep the conversation going but approaching from a different angle. “Megumi was telling me you even took his mission. I think he was a bit upset you didn’t take him with you. How come you never told me?”
“How come you never told me you were going to Osaka? Or the fact that you took him with you?”
Your stomach twists, unease bubbling in your chest. You didn’t like where this was heading. “I– it’s never bothered you before,” you manage, though your voice falters, dying down into nothing but a whisper. “And it’s not like you’ve been… wanting to speak to me recently. I haven't had the time to tell you much of anything," your trail off, your voice slowly fading before you begin again. "Did I do something to make you mad?”
The silence that follows is unbearable—longer than you ever imagined it could be. “Satoru… Please just talk to me.”
“I gotta go,” his tone is cold, clipped, and final.
There’s a click as he hangs up, and the silence becomes deafening and threateningly absolute.
-
You realize you miss the way he used to look at you. Not the way he'd gaze at you, but in the way he would gaze into you, as though you were ever the only thing that ever really mattered.
After your last conversation with him, you were unsteady. You hated how you stayed in bed for hours, analyzing everything he's said to you recently, dissecting his every action. You hated how needy you suddenly felt, even while laying there, in his bed, in his clothes. He paused just a second too long before answering you now, as if he had to must up the courage and energy to do so. His laugh no longer came out easily. Others might miss it, but you never could. It was still rambunctious, taking up a whole room, but to you, it felt forced, brittle even. You've known Satoru at his best, and you've also known him at his worst.
When he looks at you now, you wonder if he's really seeing you. Painfully, you realize you haven't seen him; not without his eyeband on at least. Last night you did, for the first time in a while, but he seemed agitated.
The worst part was that you didn't know how to bring yourself to confront him. You struggled, unsure which pretty words and cadence would unluck the distance between you two.
Did something happen on one of his missions? Was he stressed? Had the higher-ups pushed him too far, testing his patience?
Or was it you? Was this somehow your fault?
Did you scare him away? Have you said too much, cared too deeply, loved too loudly?
You weren't sure, but you had to try something.
You were grateful you were cooking him dinner tonight on your day off. It was the least you could do, and you adored taking care of him. You choose hot pot, something you and Satoru have tried at home before. It took over a few hours to prepare, but it was worth it. You made two broths, you sliced up shabu-shabu and wagyu beef and even went to the extent of watching a video to make a dipping sauce. Unfortunately, you forgot one of the ingredients for the kikufuku mochi and didn’t want to risk making something he didn’t entirely like. Luckily, you had spare time to run down to the kikufuku store right before it closed. Of course, you grabbed all his favorite, two boxfuls, in fact. He was a big guy, so you hoped you had more than enough food for him to indulge.
You and Satoru were together. Though he never outright asked you to be his, you knew. It was an unspoken thing, and you were content with that. For as goofy and eccentric as that man could be, it was rather surprising how he was never outright with what he was actually feeling.
He was damn good at showing it, though. In more ways than one.
You feel it in the way he’d always reach for you after a nightmare. Shaking, needy hands tightly clasping at your waste, fearful of you disappearing and slipping to a place where he could not reach you. Don’t ever go where I can’t follow. Please. His face would nuzzle into your neck, sharply inhaling your scent. You’d hold him, whispering endless promises. I’m here. I’ll always be here. Or it's okay. Breathe, my love. I’m with you.
You feel it on the nights he’d pin you beneath him, his grunts and moans echoing in your ears as he fills you so completely. He’d beg, no demand you—tell me you’re mine. Only mine.
And, of course, you’d eagerly nod, overwhelmed with the pleasure only he could strum out of you so perfectly. ‘m yours. All of me—yours.
You feel it in his protective gaze, his eagerness to hold you in the life vest of his arms. You felt it late into the night, damp bodies pressed against one another; low lighting, quiet laughter, and secrets revealed. His dreams, his wishes, his what ifs—the parts of him that no one knew or considered. Or when he handed you a silver key with a handsome and cheshire grin. What do you say? He was lovely, every bit of him, especially his gentle and selfless heart that you would never take for granted like the rest of the world seemed to.
You feel it when he comes home from overseas and how his strong arms hold onto you just a bit longer, a bit tighter. You feel it with how he smiles into your neck or that one time at the airport when he lifted you up and spun you around, uncaring who saw.
You feel it in the way that it was unspoken. You feel it in his cursed energy and how it perfectly intertwined with yours, reaching for you, comforting you when his hands could not. You especially feel it in the necklace he gifted you—the one your fingers were playing with now: a silver chain with cerulean sapphires, the same breathtaking shade of his eyes. His cursed energy, carefully imbued into the stones, was like carrying a piece of him with you—always, wherever you may go, and it rests directly above your beating heart.
He might not voice it, but you feel it. He loved you. And you certainly loved him.
So when had it become so hard to reach him? Why does he seem so intangible all of a sudden? Something deep and unsettling blooms in your stomach.
And now that you think about it…
When was the last time you two did any of that? When was the last time his careful hands caressed you?
Only Satoru could make you this worried or make you feel this displaced. A sense of panic strikes you, and you pull out your phone to text him when you realize he’s thirty minutes late. Usually, that wouldn’t bother you, but–
After only three rings, you're sent to voicemail. When you check his location, he’s at the high school. Should you check on him? Or would that make him… mad?
He toru! Dinners ready. When do you think you’ll be home? Miss you.
You bite your lip. He quickly read your message, but those three little bubbles never show up.
Nothing. Just nothing.
Maybe he’s staying up late writing the report for his latest mission?
“eek!” Your phone pings, and after a round of hot potato, you see he’s texted you back.
Only to be met with more disappointment.
Dealing with something urgent. Don’t wait up.
You frown, knowing you should drop it, but you can’t.
Satoru…
He’s typing faster now. What?
You pause, thumbs hovering over letters you hesitate to type. What’s going on? You’ve been off lately.
I’m fine. Just busy.
Do you want me to bring you dinner to the High School?
Those three bubbles appear and disappear more times than you can count. No. I said don’t wait up.
You know I don't sleep well without you.
He responds in a heartbeat. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Your patience is wearing thin for the first time since this ordeal started. Are you saying you won’t be coming home tonight?
You’re offered no response. He doesn’t even open your message. For the second night, you lay in a cold bed. Except, Satoru doesn’t come home.
Only he could fracture you so completely.
-
During your next mission, you brought the whole trio along. According to the report you were handed, you were only dealing with a grade three, but there was also an Infestation in the area. You could use the backup.
You had initially asked Megumi, but once Yuji caught wind, he was adamant that he tagged along, and, according to Nobora she had nothing else better to do.
“Are you guys sure? It’s your day off.”
Yuji shrugs, both arms up, hands up and behind his head. “Yeah, I’m game.”
“Me too,” Nobora voices with a small glint in her eyes. “I got something new I want to try out anyway. We didn’t get to go on a mission last week as it is.”
You paused. "Huh? Gojo didn’t take you on any?”
“Nah,” Yuji shakes his head. “I think he’s been busy or something.” He looks at Kugisaki. “Hasn’t Gojo-Sensei seemed a little… off?”
Nobora nods. “Uh yeah. He hasn’t been himself at all. We figured you’d know something,” Nobora says, curious eyes scanning you.
“Huh… I’m not sure. We haven’t gotten around to talking lately.”
Megumi hums, though it sounds more suspicious than his usual passive tone.
Though they weren’t necessarily your students, you figured there was no harm in taking them. You've done it before and having them around was always like a breath of fresh air—reminding you of why Satoru dedicates himself so fully to his cause and being a teacher. They give you a reason to get stronger and keep fighting. You loved these kids and all their bickering.
Except, this mission doesn’t go anything like you had expected. The report was wrong—a grade two was ambling through the abandoned schoolhouse. That was fine; the four of you were more than enough to kill it. The infestation was a bit overwhelming, but you had their backs, and they were nothing but pesky small curses lower than a grade four.
Everything went well when the ambush happens. You all saw it: right in front of your eyes, a grade one emerging from the shadows, born into something nasty. It's skin oozed a sickly black slime that clung to its misshapen body. Its face—or lack there of—was dark and amorphous, split by a jagged maw that stretched impossibly wide, revealing rows of sharp serrated teeth, ready to cut and slash through flesh like a meat grinder. Other that is daunting appearance, the only other notable thing about it was its speed.
You told the kids to back down, but it was already too late. They were already involved, stuck in the heat of battle and fighting as a seamless unite. They were more than capable of standing on their own.
But you needed them out of here. Your obligation was to protect them no matter how eager they were to help. However, before you could think of your next move, the curse made one last self-preserving attack. It opened in wide jaws, releasing several red beamed energy blast aimed directly at stone pillars.
You had no time to think, only react. In an instant, you surged forward towards the trio, faster than their eyes could react. Grunting, you knocked them back, glass shattering as you kicked them through a window. You felt the impact ripple through your body, fully knowing you knocked the wind out of Megumi and Yuji. However, they recovered quickly, their instincts sharp enough to catch Nobora–
Right in time before the building collapsed.
The building groaned like a wounded beast, its entire frame buckling from lack of support. Stone walls crumbled into clouds of dust and debris, windows shattered in explosive bursts, steel beams twisted and snaped with sickening shrieks. The ground trembled violently as the structure gave way, collapsing into a chaotic heap of concrete, rubble, and smoke, swallowing everything beneath. Including you.
You survived. Reinforcing your body with cursed energy made you strong enough to withstand the impact, and your heavenly restriction certainly helped. Nevertheless, you still took on quite a bit of damage from the tons of metal and concrete.
You woke up under the rubble with a startling gasp, choking on the dust. Were you out for a few seconds? Minutes? You were unsure, but the only thing pushing you to stand was the panic coated in Megumi’s voice. He was calling for you, and so were the others. You could hear the strain in their voices, the utter distraught. You healed your broken leg and the gash on the corner of your forehead, ceasing your gushing blood. You gathered yourself and your strength before pushing. They found you quickly after that, noticing a heap of rubble moving. They ran, rushing to help you push back concrete that threatened to suffocate you. You never did like tight spaces.
Thankfully, you were alright. The kids were safe as well.
However, the curse had escaped. Megumi was visibly shaken, his fingernail cracked, bruised, and bleeding from digging urgently through the rubble to find you.
Everyone was on edge. It wasn't their fault you didn't react quickly enough. You were more than capable; maybe that's why the failure stung so much.
You let yourself down. You let them down.
You were spiraling into a dark place quickly. The guilt threatened to swallow you whole. Gojo was still nowhere to be seen. You didn't have the strength to call him. You’re not sure what you could even say. You’ve fucked up before, but never to this extent. Not to where a whole building collapsed.
“Good morning. A tragic incident occurred last night when an abandoned school collapsed around 7 pm. Authorities are currently investigating the cause, and preliminary reports suggest that the collapse could have been due to a structural weakness—one of the many reasons why the school was abandoned in the first place. We will continue to monitor the situation as more information becomes available–"
Megumi gently grabs your phone and locks your screen. Wordlessly, he shakes his head before pocketing your device. You’re too exhausted to ask for it back.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Sensei?” Yuji's voice was soft, the first voice to break the ice. You look up from your hands, unsure how long you’ve been lost in thought. You force a small smile as you gaze at the three kids. You were sitting across from them in the waiting area outside the council room.
“I’m alright. Are you guys?"
“We’re all fine,” Megumi cuts in quickly. “We’re– we’re more than okay.”
“That's good,” you trail off. “That's really good.”
Uncertainty hung dangerously in the air. What happened now? You were okay, but for how long?
You knew you were in for a lashing with all the collateral damage you caused. It was supposed to be a simple mission. This wasn't supposed to happen. You four were fine, but did anyone else get hurt?
You flinch at your own thought. You don't think you could live with yourself if innocent lives were lost.
“Sensei?” Yuji's soft, unsure voice cuts in once more. When your eyes make contact, he smiles brightly. You can tell it’s forced. “After this, wanna go get something to eat? There’s this great sandwich shop down the street!”
“Y–yeah!” Nobora sits up straight after being less than conspicuously nudged by Yuji. “It’s pretty good. We went the other day–”
The council room door creaked open. The higher-ups were waiting, shrouded in shadows and faces hidden. Even if you couldn't see them, the tension was palpable. Even without seeing them directly, you could sense their anger, smell it as it rolled off of them in a quiet, unspoken fury. You glance at the kids once more, this time with a gentle, reassuring smile curling at your lips.
Everything would be okay.
-
Everything was, in fact, not okay.
The air was heavy as you entered your office. Your limbs ached, your head throbbed, and every breath felt like dragging glass through your lungs. You had thought the worst of it was over, and slowly, you felt your body begin to shut down, but only when there were no prying eyes to see how you compensated for your injuries. Even after using RCT, you had a limp—your bones were mended but not quite right. Your head was no longer bleeding—but still, you weren't quite right.
You dismiss it as exhaustion; after all, you had just learned RCT not too long ago. Maybe you missed something. However, this wasn’t anything you couldn't handle on your own. You could see Shoko, but why bother her? You’ve endured far worse. Dealing with a sore body and a headache for the next few days wasn’t out of your jurisdiction.
When you open the door, a flickering lamplight reveals a tall frame standing by your desk. Even before your eyes dance upon his sharp and still silhouette, the air shifts—your soul already knows he is there. Satoru.
But, his eyes never meet yours; you weren’t blessed enough to see them, a bright blue illuminating in the absence of light. His eyes were covered with a familiar dark cloth. However, you didn’t need to see them to know that the usual warmth they held as he gazed upon you was gone. In its place was a coldness that turned your stomach.
“Satoru–”
“I know,” he says, voice clipped as he turns to face you. “I read the reports.” Your heart sinks as he haphazardly tosses the report down to your desk.
You’re exhausted, unsure of where to even begin. So many questions floated in your weary mind. Where were you? When did you get here? Please, don’t be mad at me.
It’s funny how all your dignity, poise, and strength to endure are gone with him. You already took one berating from the elders, and you’re not sure you could handle another.
Not from him.
“But, I want to hear it from you.” He stepped closer, his height making him all the more domineering. “What happened out there? And how the hell are my students caught up in all of this?”
“The report was wrong. It was a grade two, not three, but we handled that just fine. We cleared out the area and completed the mission, but we were ambushed. A grade one appeared, destroyed the pillars, and–” You hesitate, unable to form the words. “Well, you know what happened.” He’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. “I–I did everything I could, Satoru. The students were fine, but the curse got away.”
“Everything you could?" His voice echoes. "I don’t need excuses. Certainly not from you. You endangered them—all of them. They’re not even your students!” He snapped, his voice rising in a way you’ve never heard before.
You bite back the lump forming in your throat. “I thought you, out of anyone, would understand the circumstances.”
“...Understand?” He utters back, a quiet fury rolling off him in waves.
“I made sure that–”
“You failed,” he snaps, voice laced with malice. “Enough. Just stop it. You were reckless and went behind my back, and you let a pathetic grade one get the best of you.”
Your chest tightened, crumbling at the weight of his tone. “Went behind your back? I did no such thing.”
“They could have been hurt because of you!” You visibly flinch, his words carrying more weight than the debris that had buried you—broken bones and all.
“I’m recommending you be demoted to grade two.”
What?
“You can’t do that. Satoru, you can’t–”
“I can,” he said coldly. “and I will. You failed, and not only did you fail, you went behind my back and involved my students. Your recklessness caused this,” disdain coats his voice, and he sucks his teeth. “I was gone for two fucking seconds, and you damn near ruined everything. People could have died. My students could have been injured. So stop being a nuisance and just do as you're told from here on out.”
No.
No, no, no, no.
You fought for years to get to grade one. A woman with a name of no renown—this society was never in favor of you; the system was set up for you only to fail time and time again. For years, you were held at grade three, then grade two, all because of your name’s sake—all because you were a woman. You didn’t have the luxury of being as good as other sorcerers; you had the burden to be better.
Even now, at grade one, they continue to undermine you and undervalue you. You knew you didn’t have room to make mistakes, for they would tarnish every bit of good you have done. You thought Satoru understood that. You thought he viewed you as an equal, someone strong enough to stand by him. You thought he valued you, respected you.
You never thought a mistake, a stupid mistake, would lead to this.
It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair.
“This has nothing to do with my rank. You don’t believe me. You don't trust me. After everything–”
Hearing his scornful laugh, your vision begins to blur. “Don’t make this personal. You fucked up, and now I have to clean up your mess.”
Your ears begin ringing. The pounding in your head becomes too much and threatens to crack your skull open once more.
“But it is, isn’t it?” You whisper. How could it not be personal with how he's been treating you for days? “You haven't been able to look at me in weeks. You speak to me as if I’ve become nothing but a burden to you—a nuisance. What did I do to deserve this?”
He remains silent, the muscles in his jaw ticking as he grits his teeth. Point proven.
Your heart painfully twists with each beat. “Do you even… care about me anymore?” You’re not sure why you say it, why the words slip past your lips, but they do.
He read the report and he hadn't even asked if you were okay. Maybe it was a selfish thought, but it makes your chest ache. You just wanted to go home, crawl in bed and hold him. However, you knew that wasn't in the cards right now.
“Don’t twist this into something it’s not.”
Your voice finally wavers before him, cracking as you press on, desperate for him to understand—desperate to have him by your side as he has been for so many years.
“You’re casting me aside like I’m... worthless."
It was cruelty, a quiet and deafening insult for him to demote you of your status—but more specifically, your place beside him. That hurt runs deep, to the point that feelings of betrayal start seeping into your veins, poisoning you, antagonizing you. Belittling you. It was a sharp dagger you never expected—searing with a hatred that threatened to cripple you. This wasn’t just about your position. He was a man of unchallenged stature, of the highest status and regard, lowering you, demeaning you with his every word, every action.
When did things go so wrong?
Yet, even now, you question yourself. Were you being dramatic? Were you taking this too personally? Were you being selfish?
Because he was right. Every word he's said so far was right. You failed. You put them in danger.
You stand there, a hollow feeling growing in your chest. The sting of Satoru’s words cut deeper than any blade you’ve faced. His jaw tightened, his gaze hard as steel and cold as ice. “You gave me what I never asked for.”
“Don't you dare!” You snap, finger trembling as you point his way with an accusatory jab. “Don’t you dare pretend this is nothing. You know me better than anyone. How could I not take this personally? I’ve done nothing but stand by you, love you, trust you–”
“Like I said, I never asked for any of that,” he utters sharply, his carefully composed exterior shattering. “Whatever we were was nothing more than fucking convenience.”
Suddenly, he stops, freezing at the onslaught of his own lethal words. His next words seemed to die in his throat. The damage was done.
Exhausted, defeated, numb. His words hit you like a death blow. “... Convenience?” Echoing the very word that came from his lips—a sound you hardly recognize comes from your mouth, a small slip of the anguish tormenting and swelling in your body escapes.
The necklace around your neck, the very one he had given you, seemed to pulse against your skin, warm and alive. It carried a piece of him, a piece of you, a guiding hand in the absence of light: a thread, an anchor—a way home.
Suddenly, you hated it. Hated the way it sat so close to your heart, hated the warmth, his energy; you hated that, even now, his words cutting so deep, unraveling the fabric of your being, it comforted you, reaching for you.
You yanked it off, the chain snapping in two as you held it in your trembling hands.
He falters, his whole being frozen. “What are you doing?” he asked, quiet and tense, blanketed in uncertainty.
“I don’t want it,” you say, voice quivering, threatening to fail you at any moment. His energy—the only energy that blended so perfectly with yours—reached for you, and so did his trembling hands. Reflexively, you flinched away, retreating further into the room and further from him. “Don’t,” you shake your head. “Don’t touch me. Not with your hands, not with your energy. Don’t.”
Silent tears stream down your face. You are unable to look at him, and your breathing is shallow and unsteady. You open your hand, letting the necklace drop to the floor. The faint sound of metal hitting wood echoes in the suffocating silence of the room.
There’s a soft knock on the door. It creaks, slightly opening. “... Y/n sensei?” came an unsure voice.
You stiffen, and suddenly, you can sense them, three nervous students standing outside your door. Too caught up with Satoru, you had entirely missed them. You clear your throat and dry your cheeks with the back of your hand before turning to the door. You walk over, opening the door wide enough to see them.
“Sorry if we’re interrupting, but we just wanted to know if you still wanted to come out for dinner with us...”
Fuck. How much did they hear?
You take a breath, and it’s shakier than you anticipated. “Yeah, sure. That sounds nice. Let me grab my jacket, okay.”
Yuji only offers an unsure smile. Norbora has a hard time even looking at you, while Megumis's eyes are solid and unyielding, glaring right past you. His hands were in his pockets, balled into tight fists.
You don’t know what to do other than quickly turning. Within a few ushered strides, you were at your desk, grabbing your coat off your desk chair; you’re careful to avoid Gojo, who manages to plaster on that big fucking grin.
“Heard you guys were up to no good while I was away.”
“We were fine,” Megumi interjects before Yuji could open his mouth. “More than fine.”
“Y–yeah, everything ended up being just fine. Y/n-sensei made sure of that,” Nobora awkwardly adds, shifting her weight on her feet.
“Ah,” Gojo nods. “Well, make sure you get some rest tonight. We’ve got a long day tomorrow! You guys will be training with the second years!”
You hated how he could act as if everything was alright while you were fighting back tears. It was another jab, a suckerpunch to the gut.
You just needed to get out of there.
-
After dinner with the kids, you headed out on your own the following day. You went home, stuffing some clothes in a bag before spending the night at a cheap motel. Before getting with Satoru, you always floated from place to place, never truly settling. Those days, all you carried on you was your backpack. You didn’t have a home or many possessions you could call your own. You just had yourself.
I guess old habits die hard.
Megumi was the first to text you: I went to Gojo's house today and didn’t see you.
All good! I’ve been busy running errands.
Nobora text you sometime after.
Hey Sensei!! Let me know if you’re available today! Let’s go shopping!
You responded rather quickly. Sorry, I’m not around today. Maybe ask Maki? Or maybe Yuji and Megumi would like to tag along.
But guys suck :(
Then, there was Yuji: Hey, Sensei! Let me know if you want ramen! The gang and I got you since you covered for us the other night! I even got coupons!
You weren’t sure what to say. You always covered for their meals (no exceptions), but you knew they were just trying to be kind. You double-tapped and hearted the message.
You appreciated them more than anything, but frankly, it was a bit embarrassing. You never meant for them to overhear you and Satrou that night in your office, and you were never one for pity. If it were anyone else, you would have called them out and told them off. However, you wouldn’t dream of doing that to the kids. They were trying to support you in the only way they knew how, but it wasn’t their responsibility to worry about you.
Surprisingly, Shoko was the next person to contact you. You never stopped by my office. I’m assuming you’re alright?
Smiling gently, you responded. Yeah, no injuries to report.
A building collapsed on you.
You scoff, imagining her deadpan expression. Heavenly restriction, remember?
That doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt.
Your thumbs hover over the keyboard. Yeesh. Just meet me at the bar you like downtown.
That’s where you are now, Shoko’s favorite bar, tossing back your third shot. ”Take it easy. I don’t feel like dragging you home tonight.”
“Ah. I’m alright, Shoko.”
“You don’t look it.”
“Neither do you with those bags under your eyes.”
She brings her drink to her lips, mumbling “touché” before taking a swig. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Vivid memories pressed to the front of your mind of the building collapsing. “Satoru is demoting me. After the elders ripped into me, I found him waiting for me in my office.”
“He– what? Jeez,” she took another sip of sake. “Out of everything, I didn’t expect that.”
“I– we haven’t been doing too good. I’m not sure if there even is an us after last night.”
“Huh. He did seem a little out of it today.”
“Somehow, I kinda doubt that.” There’s a beat of silence, and you swirl the liquid in your cup.
“If it means anything, he asked me about you. Asked if you were alright.”
You smile a bit sardonically. If Satoru really wanted to find you, you knew he could, as he had the means to do so. From here, you were only about five miles away from his estate. It’s not like you were too for his eyes to see. Suddenly, that thought bothers you, and you find yourself almost subconsciously concealing your cursed energy.
“Is that why you texted me?”
She gives you a weird look. “Partially. I had my own concerns.”
“Like what?”
“If I’m being honest with you, you’re not great at RCT. I wanted to check and make sure everything was alright. It eventually catches up with you if you don’t do it correctly. I’ve seen it cause irreparable damage before.”
“Ah. I guess that makes sense.”
“You should come to my office tomorrow so I can check–”
“I think I’m gonna quit.”
“…what?”
“I mean, that’s what they really want, right?”
“If you do that, they’ll find the easiest excuse to label you as a traitor. A cursed user.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Since day one, they’ve been trying to paint me as a villain.”
“So don’t give them what they want,” Shoko bites back. She pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. “Listen, I can’t stop you. You are going to do what you want to do at the end of the day, but you don’t need to do this. You made a mistake.”
“I’m just tired,” you tell her truthfully. “For months, I’ve been pretending, going through the motions. I've been miserable. Megumi hasn’t wanted me around much. He’s older now, and he doesn’t need me anymore–”
“Of course he does,” Shoko cuts you off. “He’s still a kid.”
“And I’m not his mother,” you retort bitterly. “Then, there’s Satoru. He’s been so distant. He used to always be in my corner and make everything better, but I don’t even have that now. Now, all of the jujutsu society thinks I’m a liability. He thinks I’m a liability. Maybe it’s why he’s grown to resent me so much.”
“Please. Just stop talking,” Shoko remarks, overwhelmed with how quickly you were talking. She wasn’t necessarily a fan of conversations like these, but at least she listened. “I’m here if you ever need anyone. And please, don’t let this fester. I would rather not lose another friend.” She takes a large gulp this time, finishing her drink before gesturing for a refill. “Tsk. Satoru is complicated—I get it—but he wouldn’t want you to leave. Neither would Megumi. That kid loves you. Maybe you and Gojo just need a break.”
A break? Ha. That was one way of putting it. However, it already felt much more like a breakup, and its permanence frightened you. Like many other things in your relationship, it was never voiced but certainly felt.
“Yeah,” you say softly, body buzzing as you down your fourth shot. “Maybe you’re right.”
-
You start walking home after having drinks with Shoko. It was a long walk, and you took your time. You weren’t in a rush to head home to potential chaos. The thought of staying at a hotel crossed your mind, but you had nothing to change into. Frankly, it didn’t matter where you went either. It’s not like you’d be able to sleep any better.
Though, it’s not like you were going back home to anything good. You were suspended without pay; you couldn’t go near the school grounds or exercise any curses—a stipulation you rolled your eyes at. If they thought just a few measly words would stop you from exercising a curse, they would be more idiotic than you thought.
Still, maybe it’s good to take some time off. Maybe you should stay at the hotel. If you were lucky, they’d have a washer and dryer.
Then, your phone starts to ring—a unique ringtone that a white-haired idiot assigned to his contact one day after you let him “borrow” your phone. He even changed his contact photo; years later, you never had the heart to change it.
Your heart aches when you see the contact photo of him, his goofy smile and gorgeous eyes peeking over his black shades. You answered hesitantly after a few rings.
“Hello?”
“Heyyy,” you hear, his voice light and cheery yet, lacking its usual spark. “Where are you? I know I missed dinner the other night so I picked up your favorite on my way home!”
Back to normal? Just like that?
You take a breath, reeling in your emotions. It wasn’t normal, per se, but you could tell he was trying, stepping cautiously over the ice he knew could shatter at any moment.
“I’m not home, right now.”
“Huuuh?” You can hear the slight whine in his voice, and you can imagine him pouting like a small child. You expect him to carry on with his theatrics, but he hesitates. “When do you think you’ll be home then?”
“Uh, I don’t really know,” you trail off, unable to keep up his faux mirth and bravado.
“Well, if you don’t want to sleep next to me tonight, I can just take the guest bedroom!” For a moment, he sounds hopeful.
Honestly, he’s just making your head spin.
“Honestly, I think it’s best if I stay out of the house for a little while, Gojo.”
There’s a beat of silence before you hear his nervous laughter. “Gojo?” he remarks dejectedly. “Can’t remember the last time you called me that.”
You were unsure what to say; you hadn’t even realized you initially referred to him by his last name until he pointed it out. You want to tell him sorry—for everything, but your tongue tenses in your mouth, and your throat threatens to close up. You hated it when he got like this, and typically, you’d do anything to make him smile again.
But you’re hurt, and he caused that hurt.
“I wanted to talk to you about the other day,” he adds quickly, unable to withstand your silence.
“What’s there to talk about?” You ask softly. “What done is done. I messed up.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “You’re right. It can’t be undone now. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Your stomach drops your heart twists and aches. Was he going to officially end things with you? A bitter, more cruel half of you whispers—you weren’t even officially together to begin with. However, none of that even matters; he has too much of you, too many pieces of your frail heart in the palm of his hands. You were irrevocably his, but was he ever yours?
Just a few weeks ago, you thought you would have an entirely different answer than the one you have now. You're too afraid to face him or the truth. You were guilt-ridden, your pride and dignity torn to shreds. Hearing that he no longer wishes to be with you would be too much.
Honestly?
You’re not sure how you’d react. If you’d sob, if you’d remain stoic, or if you’d flip a table and trash every one of your possessions. You’re at wit's end, and the level of fallout threatening to break free from you was immeasurable.
So, you finalize what you had been contemplating just five minutes ago. “I think I’m going to stay at a hotel, Gojo. I need space. Time to think.”
“I don’t want us to go to bed mad at each other,” he says lowly, his voice reverberating through the phone. You shiver. “It doesn’t feel right.”
You hated this. You fucking hated this.
Your chest tightens, and your knees weaken. You wanted to give in. He always had that power over you. He ruled your heart so effortlessly. You yearned for him, your heart singing a million love songs, beckoning him back to you.
But you couldn’t. You were too mad. You felt cast aside as if you were nothing but an afterthought—after all these years. Yet again, you feel the foundation of your home cracking, and your knees go weak yet again. You take a shuddering breath right before repeating the exact words he threw at you just a few nights prior—words that so effortlessly dismantled your spirit. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
-
You’ve always had a habit of running. It was easier for you than most. You figured you’d go back to that cheap motel in Tokyo, but you were too restless. Too angry. Feelings of betrayal ran deep, and the guilt nipped away at you until there was only a void.
Before you could leave, though, you call a number you knew by heart. Stepping onto the train and holding your phone to your ear, it rings. For a moment, you assume he’s asleep. It was getting late, but after the fifth ring, the line clicked. A groggy voice peaks through.
“Sensei? What’s going on?”
“Megumi,” you breathe out. “Hi. Sorry to wake you.”
“It’s fine.”
“Nozomi 1, departing from Tokyo and heading to Kyoto, will depart shortly. Please be careful of your footing while boarding. Please refrain from using mobile phone inside the train–“
“You’re leaving?” The tiredness in his voice is replaced by something else you can’t quite place.
“Only for a short while. It’s not like I’ll be working anytime soon,” you chuckled nervously. “But I just wanted to let you know. It didn’t feel right leaving without speaking to you first.”
“Oh,” is all he can muster up at first. “I– when will you be back?”
“I’m not sure,” you answer him honestly. “A few days, maybe.”
“Well… Can we visit you? I’d go alone, but I think Yuji and Nobora would kill me if I did.”
Oh. You hadn’t expected that. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Um, yeah. When I figure out where I’m staying, I’ll let you know.”
He sounds worried. “You don’t know where you’re staying yet?”
You snicker. “Ha, this is, uh, kinda an impromptu thing.”
“… and you’re sure alright?”
“Yes, yes, I’m alright. I just wanted to tell you.”
You can tell he’s not exactly satisfied, but he isn’t one to stop you. “Well, text me where you’ll be staying in a few hours. You should probably hang up now, though, and figure it out.”
You smile softly to yourself. He always was a kind boy—kinder than he’d ever reveal. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Goodnight, Megumi.”
“Night.. I’ll call you later. Be safe.”
When you hang up, you feel a bit better.
-
The first night was hard—really hard. Sleeping away from Satoru was incredibly difficult, but so were his sharp words that relentlessly bounced around in your mind. You found no peace by your window, watching the last of that day's sunlight slipping away behind the horizon, casting long shadows over the dead trees covered in snow.
You could almost feel his presence, like the cast of your shadow on a wall—following you, mirroring your every move. Your phone never rang with his ringtone, your phone never buzzed with a new text. Yet you stared at the shadows for a bit longer, a bit more intensely, waiting for two blue eyes to illuminate the space. They never did.
Kyoto's stillness seemed to reflect your own, waiting for something to change, waiting for something dead and wilted to bloom once more.
However, even all the way over in Kyoto, bad luck seems to follow you like the plague. You were walking to a small corner market to grab something to eat when you felt the disturbance in the air—tasted it on your tongue. You hoped that surge of cursed energy wasn’t what you thought it was. You would have loved to be proven wrong, but your instincts were keen like a hound trained to hunt.
A curse womb opened right above a Kyoto High school.
You were definitely getting fired after this.
You knew a cursed object was most likely responsible for this. Considering it happened at a school, you were more than willing to bet a strong cursed object was placed there, most likely intended to ward off any other strong curses that might otherwise appear in the area. You assumed the seal broke, probably after hundreds of years of suppressing the power of the object. You’ve dealt with a case like that before.
You couldn’t have been more wrong.
Three stupid students—ghost hunting of all things—removed the seal. The decorated white cloth tightly wrapped around a black skull was torn, and its viscous cursed energy soared, tinting the sky black.
“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you hissed under your breath when you slammed open the classroom door. “This way, c’mon!” You didn’t have to tell them twice. Book it, and you stay by their side for as long as you can. You had to put up your veil, but only after they were far enough.
You got impatient, however, especially towards the kid who had been recording everything up until now, where you crushed his phone in your hand.
“Wha– hey! You're gonna pay for that!”
“What the hell is more important? Recording or your fucking lives? Shut up and run!”
The air suddenly cracks with a tension that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. It’s here. You could feel it—the dark, oppressive presence creeping across the courtyard, lurking. You yourself could see it with your eyes, but you felt it.
Your senses were better than most. It was partially why you and Yuji got along and trained together so well. You were just like him when you were younger. Granted, he wasn’t born with cursed energy like you were, but your heavenly restrictions were nearly identical.
You stop running when you reach the edge of the courtyard, but those three kids carry on in a scram. Holding the cursed object in your hands, you raise the skull in the air. It takes a considerable amount of force, but you crush the skull, black dust coating your hand. There’s a hollow screech, and you hope that’s the end of it.
Of course, your bad luck persists.
Typically, destroying the cursed object that’s created a cursed womb kills it or at least nullifies it. The exception is when the curse is an S-grade; those wombs are damn near impenetrable.
Destroying the object seemed only to irritate the curse as it began crawling out of a bloody sac.
You hold up your fist, index, and pointer finger together, pointing to the sky along with your thumb. A crimson veil pours down, covering the entirety of the school. However, you sense three others within your veil just as you seal off the area.
“Yo, Y/n sensei!! What the hell are you doing here, loca!” A deep laugh echoes across the courtyard.
Christ. You knew that voice from anywhere.
You glance over your shoulder and see a few unexpected faces. Utahime and two other students—Miwa and Todo who looks way happier than he should be, considering the circumstances.
The newly born curse loomed menacingly overhead, its red eyes gleaming like coals in a dying fire. It was tall, with protruding joints that snapped into place. Its black and sleek hair extended beyond its long, contorted body. Its face was painted white and cracked as if crafted of aged porcelain. Its kimono was white, stained with splashes of red and black goo. You stood firmly in place, fire crackling at your fingertips, your breath steady but sharp in the cold night air. Todo and Miwa joined your side quickly, and Utahime offered you a firm nod from the sidelines. She was entrusting you with her students.
Quickly, the courtyard became a battlefield, filled with the crackle of burning energy and the hum of raw power.
The curse lunged, zipping through the air. You were faster, your body twisting and moving with fluid grace. You raised your hand to strike, a jet of flame bursting forward, crackling against the air. The curse shrieked as the fire seared its back, black smoke rising from its melted skin.
It recovered too quickly for your liking. It rolled through the flames like water through a sieve, reforming and lunging again, its claws gleaming.
Your senses were on fire—every shift in the air, every sound, every movement was magnified. You could hear the heartbeat of the curse, the faintest tremor of its form as it coiled to strike. You could smell the thick, sour scent of decay that clung to it like an ancient smog. And you could feel it—the deep, heavy weight of power pressing down on you, making your muscles tighten and strain against the oncoming attack.
The curse moved to strike again, but you were already there, rolling beneath it, body twisting in a perfect arc, and feet hitting the ground in a spring-loaded motion that sent you leaping upward. Your fist, wreathed in fire, crashed into the creature’s chest.
The explosion of heat sent the curse reeling, but it was only a momentary distraction. It retaliated, slashing the air with a massive, clawed hand. Three energized strikes were headed your way. You reacted with seconds to spare, but Miwa stood directly in the line of fire. You knew her simple domain wouldn’t be summoned fast enough, but she didn’t. It would be a miscalculation that ended her life.
The claws tore through your side, then whipped down in a sickening arc, ripping clean through your arm. The pain came in an instant—a blinding, searing agony that burned through your body. You didn't even have time to scream.
You staggered back, a cry escaping Miwa’s lips as she looked at the bloody stump where your arm used to be. Blood poured and squirted from the wound, but there was no time for that.
"Get back!" you shouted to the blue-haired girl, voice raw. She wasn’t nearly ready for this; Utahime gravity overestimated her abilities or underestimated the cursed strength. Regardless, the girl was too distraught to do anything at this moment.
There’s a rush, and you suddenly realize you are outside the heat of battle. Todo went in, guns blazing, but you could only waste so much time. Todo was strong, way above his current ranking, in your opinion, but it was only a matter of time before that curse cut him down, too.
Without a second thought, you dropped to your knees. The pain was overwhelming, but you focused, drawing from the reserves settled deep within your core. Your energy surged, and tendrils of fire spiraled around the wound, filling the air with intense heat.
“Sensei! Are you alri–" Miwa gasped, her feet coming to a haunt as she watched in awe and terror as your arm began to regenerate—pulsing with energy. The flesh knitted itself together, bone and sinew reforming in a frenzy.
But the process wasn't easy and certainly didn’t come without a price to pay. Your body screamed, the regeneration draining your reserves. You were already weakened, and the battle had just begun. Tsk.
Todo found his way back over to you two, panting heavily. “How are you doing over there, Sensei?”
"Clap," you say, voice strained. "Now." He looked at you, bug-eyed, but he nodded. He didn't hesitate.
He brought his hands together in a sharp clap, and everything shifted. “Alright! Let’s dance!”
In an instant, you found yourself on the other side of the curse. You inhaled deeply, heart pounding, immediately launching yourself back into the fight.
The curse roared in confusion, disoriented, but it was too late. You were already in motion. Your feet hit the ground in a fluid motion, and with a vicious snap of your wrist, fire erupted once again. This time, it formed into a massive whip of flame that lashed through the air.
The curse hissed as the whip wrapped around its neck, and you pulled with your whole body. Never losing your grip, muscles straining, you move forward, wrapping the flames over your arm again and again, pulling tighter and tighter until you smelt the pungent odor of the burning flesh around its neck. You wrapped the whip around your arm one last time before turning your body and pulling the whip from over your shoulder, viscously yanking and slamming the curse to the ground and into submission.
The curse struggled, its body writhing, but it was weakened. Miwa went for the opening, summoning her New Shadow Style: Simple domain. She’s gotten better since the tournament, and you acknowledge with a grave chuckle as she instantly draws her blade, slicing the curse directly across its chest cavity. She cost you an arm, but deep down, you knew she had the conviction to win and succeed.
Todo doesn’t wait. Another clap. Another shift. You and Todo swapped places with the curse itself this time, and the curse had no time to react. He goes for a punch, cracking the curse with a quick jab, followed by a right hook. He claps again. The moment the curse materialized in front of you, disoriented, you surged forward, throwing everything you had left into one final strike.
It twisted in anguish, its body crumbling to the ground before its remains turned into ash.
Then, there was nothing.
The air grew still. The ground beneath you is scorched but calm. You sucked your teeth, silently berating yourself.
You hated using your technique. Frankly, you opted not to unless you absolutely needed to, which was the main reason why people hardly knew about it. It wreaked havoc, leaving nothing but indomitable infernos that refused to be quenched like normal flames. They left nothing destruction in their wake—hungry to consume and spread. However, you’ve gotten better at controlling it—you’ll give yourself that. The only thing burned here today was the grass in the courtyard.
You stood there for a moment, panting, your body trembling with exhaustion as you collapsed to the ground, panting heavily. “Y–you did it!” Miwa cheered. “I had no idea you knew RCT. Thank you for helping me back there.”
“What the– Miwa, we won! Show some conviction!” Todo cut in, flexing his biceps.
“He’s right,” you managed a weak smile as you worked on catching your breath and easing your fast-beating heart. You collapse to the ground, still gaining your breath. "We did it."
You hear footsteps approaching from behind. Tilting your head, you see Utahime standing directly above you.
“Oh. Hi ‘hime.”
She smiles a bit, but her face remains hardened. You straighten up a bit, catching on to her attitude. Something wasn’t right.
“You guys did a good job. However, another problem has arisen across the city.”
“Huh? Another one?” Miwa asked, brows tugging inward. She shifts her weight from one hip to the other. “That's like the fifth one today...”
They continue on in their conversation as you drop your veil, sniff the air, and concentrate on your surroundings. A sense of foreboding strikes you under the dark ambiance of the sky. Even after killing that S-grade, things don’t feel right.
“Thanks for joining us,” Utahime says, drawing back your attention. “I nearly had to call for backup.”
You scoff, glancing up at her from the ground. “Something doesn't feel right, Utahime.” She nods, agreeing with your observation. “When did the reports come flooding in?”
“About an hour ago now.”
“Hm,” you wonder, thinking back to when you first found the cursed womb. “That’s about the same time I first sensed the presence of the cursed womb. They’re most likely connected.”
“That's what I thought. The presence of the cursed womb must have irritated some of the curses in the city, most likely because they were drawn to the energy fluctuations the cursed womb caused. It's good you were here. We're stretched thin right now. If you don’t mind staying, we could use your help. The other students are out on missions across the city, and things just keep getting worse.”
You smile up at her before pushing yourself back up on your two feet, brushing the dirt from your pants. “Sure, let’s get going–” but as you stand, it feels as if a bolt of lightning strikes you down or as if your chest has been cracked open by a sledgehammer. The agony was too great to even scream as you fell to your knees and crashed back into the ground.
It was lights out.
-
It was quiet. Dark—a vast, unending expanse of nothingness that swallowed you whole. An endless drift. It would have almost been peaceful if not for the faint pull at the edges of your awareness, like an anchor trying to tether to something you couldn’t see.
But then came the first sound.
You heard voices—muffled cries. Please wake up, said one voice. Please stay with me, came another.
Pain began to throb somewhere in the background, dull and distant. Disembodied as if it belonged to someone else.
Don’t you dare leave me. The voice was sharp, demanding, cracking under the weight of fear. You knew that voice and remembered all the sweet things it used to whisper to you. Your heart takes a painful lurch. You can hear its occasional beat in your ears. We need you. I need you.
Oddly, you were cold.
You were drifting again, further and further. The anchor was slipping. You were sinking, your head hardly above water, when another muffled voice broke through—whimpering, sobbing. Your heart lurches painfully.
Mom, please don’t go.
The words pierce through the nothingness, shattering it all to bits and pieces. The words pull at you, a lifeline you hadn’t known you clung to and needed. Images begin to flash, and suddenly, the voices are no longer just voices. Your heart suddenly burns as though the memory of life itself is fighting its way back into you.
Your eyelids were heavy, limbs weak, unresponsive—cold. You were so cold, but it wasn’t enough to stop you from crawling out of a black pit that threatened to swallow you whole. There’s a faint sensation of pressure, a hand tightly gripping yours.
Light begins bleeding into the edges of your awareness. You sucked in a deep breath, lungs empty and greedy.
Then, your eyes fluttered open.
You blinked a few times, realizing how hard it was to breathe. Breathing was supposed to be an automatic response, but you had to force it, each breath dragging along the back of your throat like sandpaper. You’re weak and shivering as you use most of your energy to sit up. You were in an empty room, you realized—the sharp smell of sanitizer permeating your nose.
You push yourself out of bed, knees buckling under your weight. You catch yourself, gathering whatever bits of strength you have left. Your teeth clattered. You were freezing. Shaking, you wrapped the white blanket over your shoulders, gripping it tight before you trudged towards the door.
The hall was mostly empty, all except for a sleeping boy slouched over in a chair beside your door. Your heart squeezes.
“Megumi,” you whispered his name. You stare at him for a moment, unable to bite back the tears that nip at your dry eyes.
You wrapped the blanket around him, tucking it gently around him. However, he flinches, jumping straight up in his chair. “S-Sorry,” you tell him quickly with a watery smile. “You looked cold.”
“You…” the word was a raw and weak whisper. His eyes widened. It took a moment for recognition to settle in, but once it did, he spoke again. “You’re awake.” He stood up from his chair, and you stepped back, offering him space. “You’re awake,” he repeated again.
Then, you start to wonder just how long you’ve been out of it. Days? Weeks? The thought of months terrifies you, but before you can even go down that loophole, he’s hugging you tightly. “You’re awake,” he says once more, his voice breaking.
However long it was, he’s right. You’re awake. You’re here, living and breathing. You wrap your arms around his torso, patting and rubbing his back soothingly. “Yup… I’m here. I’m awake.”
You let him be the one to pull away, letting him take however long he needs. You enjoyed it regardless. You couldn’t remember the last time you hugged him.
When he pulls away, his eyes are red. He sniffs a bit, backing up and taking the blanket off his shoulders. This time, he’s the one wrapping the fabric around you. He’s frowning a bit as he does. “... you’re the one that’s cold,” he notes quietly.
“What happened?”
“You don’t remember?” He asks softly, brows furrowing.
You shook your head. No. Frankly, you didn’t remember much of anything right now. “I was on my way with Yuji and Nobora. We got on the train after you let me know where you were staying.” That’s right. You texted Megumi when you figured out where you’d be staying. You thought they’d come over sometime in the following days. You had no idea they were rushing to see you on the next available train.
He places his hands awkwardly on your shoulder before gently guiding you to the chair he was sitting in moments ago. As you go to sit, your body seems to forget how to move for a moment, and you lose your balance. He catches you quickly, carefully helping you down into the chair. “When we got to Kyoto, we realized quickly how bad things were over there. We started helping out at the Kyoto school, dealing with the curses that had been lingering in the area where the cursed womb opened up. Eventually, we ran into Todo and Miwa. They told us what happened.” He grunts, kneeling down so he’s at eye level with you.
You’re silent for a moment. “How long was I out for?”
“Pushing four days now.”
The memories strike you like a fright train. “Are you okay? Is everyone alright?” You hadn’t realized you had reached for his cheek.
He grabs your wrist, thumb gently caressing the back of your hand before pulling your hand away, guiding it back to your lap. He moves the blanket until it's covering you again. “We’re all fine. Everything’s been dealt with. Yuji and Nobora went down to the cafe to grab some lunch. They’ll be thrilled when they come back.”
You tilt your head. “Why didn’t you go with them?”
He smiles a bit. “I didn’t want to leave you unattended.”
You don’t know what to think. You’re just happy you’re back. Happy because he was happy. You always hated it when he worried about you. You never believed it was his job to do so. However, he stayed by your side and protected you when you couldn’t protect yourself.
You wiggle your toes and roll your shoulders before standing again. “You shouldn’t be standing–”
“I’m alright, I promise,” you tell him, dismissing his concern. “I just want to walk around, okay?”
He stares at you intently, unsure, but he seems to have no energy to argue with you. “... alright,” he relents.
He follows you closely as you drag your feet across the floor. You don’t know where you are walking, but you want to stretch your legs and regain a sense of your body. You are weak, but you need to move.
You ask the question you were too hesitant to ask: “What about Gojo?”
He huffs. “He left a little while ago. Said he’d be back shortly,” he scoffs. “Bullshit if you ask me.”
“Megumi,” you sigh his name with a soft reprimand.
“He should be here,” he responds disgruntledly. “He should be by your side, and he’s not."
You stay quiet. You’re not exactly sure what to say to him when you agree. Maybe Gojo was done. Whatever this was, whatever relationship you had—maybe he didn’t want you anymore. You look ahead, fighting your own body that threatened to collapse at any moment. You could feel Megumi’s eyes on you, but you didn’t have the heart to look at him right now.
You were afraid you would sob if you did.
Though you had never walked these halls before, the hospital's layout was quite easy to catch on to. After taking a fourth right turn, you see your room in the distance. A stubborn part of you says to keep going and keep walking, but the exhaustion is catching up to you quickly. If Megumi hadn’t been by your side, cautious eyes scanning you, you might have kept going until you passed out. You realize that the strength you had was nearly depleted. Only trickles of your cursed energy remained, and it would be a long while before you gained it back.
You hear footsteps behind you. Quick and ushered. Megumi turns before you, his whole frame tensing. He sucks his teeth and clicks his tongue. “So he finally shows up.” He speaks in a sardonic tone, loud enough for anyone in the hallways to hear.
Satoru comes running from around the corner then, taking deep breaths. Your brows slightly pinch together in confusion. “S–Satoru,” you stutter, walking closer. “When did you get here?” He looks disheveled. Alarmed. Was he just running?
It was hard trying to figure out what he was feeling or experiencing when that black eyeband covered his eyes. However, you noticed the bouquet in his hands, a delicate combination of soft and tender hues: pale pink and roses, white peonies, deep pink lilies, and baby’s breath delicately wrapped along sprigs of greenery.
You place a hand on Megumi’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go eat with the others?”
“But–”
“I’ll be alright,” you explain to him in a soft tone.
He hesitates, torn between staying and leaving. He was unsure if he should leave you to handle this alone, but after a moment, he backed down, probably realizing he shouldn’t stand between the two of you and what needed to happen. With an irate glance shot at Gojo, he turns, pocketing his hands as he makes his way to the stairs.
Only when the door shuts do you look at Satoru again.
He stays unusually quiet, his face unreadable. Frankly, it was rather unsettling. You had no idea what was going through his mind. “I–I’m sorry!” you blurt out the first words that crash to the surface of your mind the moment you see him in his entirety. There was no hope of holding back. After days spent away from him, lost in his absence, and days dancing on the edge of death, the words tumble out of you before you can stop them—unbidden, unstoppable. “For everything. Y–You must have been stressed with work and other things. My fuck up only added to your plate. I get it, ya know? It's selfish of me, even now, to rely on you so much when there’s a whole world that needs you. They are not my students, and I put them in danger.” Quickly, the tears gather in your waterline again, but you blink them away. “I–I’ll be leaving soon. I’ll… I’ll go. I’ll get out of your way, and you won’t have to deal with me bothering you any longer–”
“Can I touch you?” The question comes suddenly, softly, and almost hesitantly.
You blink a few times, puzzled, but then, you unravel, folding inward under the weight of his voice. Your breath hitches in your throat. Was he still holding onto what you had said that night? Was he haunted by the barriers broken and the others so carelessly assembled?
He still wanted you?
You didn’t want him to let you go. Not yet. Not ever.
Like a dam breaking, you surged forward, closing the space between you two. Seconds later, you feel his resolve crumble. He crushes you to his chest, flowers falling to the floor. His arms enveloped you with a force that robbed you of breath, your feet nearly coming off the ground as you both stumble backward. Trembling, he clung to you as if you were an anchor in a world that threatened to tear him apart. There were no words—the unspoken agony and grief were far too overwhelming to put into words—if there even were words for it.
I’m sorry. I love you. I’m glad you’re okay. You felt it all with him. You could feel the pounding of his heart against your chest, hear its frantic rhythm match your own.
His hands were shaking, one tangling in your hair, the other wrapping entirely around your frame and squeezing your hip. He buries his face into your neck, and his hot breath is ragged and uneven as he inhales your scent. “I thought–” he swallows, shaking his head. “I didn’t know where you were—for a second time.”
Your cursed energy was low, more depleted than it had ever been. It explains why you were so weak, so frail. When he saw your empty bed, he must’ve panicked. He ran to you, anxiously following the weak traces of your presence.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, and the familiar silk of his eyeband rubs against your skin. You gently tug at the fabric with the tips of your fingers. His breath hitches, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he stills as you slip the black band from his face. He lifts his head just enough to rest it against yours. They were that same stunning shade of azure—bright and impossibly vivid, glowing softly as if they carried the remnants of a forgotten star. Captivating, otherworldly, yet achingly human—something he’d often forget from time to time.
“You promised,” he murmurs, voice broken. “You promised.”
“What are you talking about?” you ask just as brokenly.
Suddenly, one of his hands grasps your neck, and you choke on your words. He doesn’t squeeze tight, but the look on his face is enough to make you gasp. “I couldn’t feel you. I couldn’t feel you anymore,” he says achingly.
Your chest tightens, nails slightly digging into his forearm. You open your mouth to speak, failing more times than succeeding. You wanted to speak, but the words lodged in your mouth.
“I–I don’t understand.”
“You’re not wearing it anymore,” he murmurs, his nose brushing softly against your cheek. The necklace you always wore—his gift to you, the one that held a part of him, a part of the two of you—was gone. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach, an absence that gnawed at him like hunger, an emptiness he could never satisfy.
His voice wasn’t angry, far from it. It wasn’t even harsh, but something in it—a quiet desperation—made the air between the two of you quiver.
“You promised you’d never go where I couldn’t follow,” he whispers again. “Remember?”
You nod in his hold, tightly pursing your lips together when a few tears escape, dripping from your eyes. He leans in, pressing his forehead against yours again, gazing deep and unwavering into your eyes. I remember. His grip on your neck loosens until he removes his hand from your throat completely, gentle fingers pushing down your shirt's fabric. His fingers trace your skin, the empty spot where your necklace once laid.
Then, it suddenly hits you. “Oh.”
He could feel you as much as you felt him. If you were ever too far from him—out of the range of his sight, out from where his hands could reach for you, that necklace was a beacon, a beckoning, a lighthouse in the storm that guided you home—guided him home.
You squeeze him tighter. You missed him. You really missed him.
“How did you find me?”
He takes a moment to breathe, trying to settle the rapid beat of his heart. “Utahime.” He wheezes out a pained laugh. “She called me panicking once you collapsed. I got there as quickly as I could.”
You copy his laugh, albeit coughing a bit from the pain blooming in your ribs. You hated to admit it, but the longer you stood, the more your body began to hurt. “I should just heal myself and get this over with.”
“Don’t,” his grip tightens on you again. “you’re using it wrong. There’s damage, lots of it,” he tells you, wiping at the blood that had stained your skin at the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “Any more and–” his eyebrows furrowed deeply, the weight of grief and guilt tugging his features. The corner of his lips tightened. “Shoko operated on you for hours. You nearly died.”
He sees what others cannot, his gaze piercing the surface to something deeper, something raw. He sees the world through an entirely different lens, and right now, the sight of you seems to pain him dearly.
For a moment, you wonder just how much damage is hidden within you and how much it must weigh on him to see it. “Shoko might have gotten you out of the woods, but she told me you’d need a few more rounds to get you back to normal.”
“That makes sense,” you murmur, allowing your entire body weight to ease into him. He accepts you with open arms. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Or twenty.”
“I missed it,” he utters, voice thick with regret. “If I had just looked a bit closer, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I fucked up. I could’ve prevented this.” His careful grip on you tightens as if you’d slip away from him once more. “But,” his tone softens. “You did so well. You took care of that cursed womb before I could even get to the scene.” Even through his pain and wallowing, his heart swells. He was proud of you.
He bends down, grabbing the flowers he dropped before moving towards you again. “Oh gosh,” you hide your face into his neck as he reaches down, one arm hooking under your legs as he lifts you. You don’t hesitate, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m definitely fired, aren’t I?”
He carefully guides you back into your room. He manages to toss your flowers on the counter by the window. “Don’t worry about any of that. I’ll handle it. ‘Kay?” He places you down on your bed, but he hesitates, not wanting to fully pull away.
Your eyes flicker, recalling the night of your augment. You knew this was the reason behind his haunted expression. You recognized the torment because you, too, had felt it. “You’re mad,” he observes relatively quickly.
You didn’t want to bring it up. You weren't necessarily mad, not anymore, but even near death couldn’t make you forget the pain he had caused with words he so carelessly struck you down with.
“What you said… Hurt me, Gojo,” you look down at your hands, feeling selfish for even bringing this up after nearly dying. However, you knew this conversation was inevitable. “Even if you were right I felt cast aside. Useless. Why didn't you tell me you felt that way before?”
“No… don’t say that. I was being stupid. I over reacted. I know you'd always protect those kids and that's exactly what you did. You’re not weak or a nuisance, or... convenient.” you flinch at the word. “You’re far from that. I need you to know that.”
“...Then what am I?”
“Everything,” he shudders. “You’re everything.” His lips brush over your forehead, your cheeks, and eyelids, each kiss tender and lingering. But then he pauses, his smooth lips hovering just above yours. He’s always been so confident, so self-assured. You’re unsure how to react.
You were sitting on your bed, feet dangling just above the floor. He is leaning over you, one large and warm hand on your thigh, the other cupping your face gently. He was close, but not close enough. Even bent at the waist, his height keeps him just out of your reach unless he leans back down just a bit more…
You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to you, giving him all the assurance you have to offer.
You were hurt, but you still wanted him.
You still loved him.
His mouth was warm and soft—testing the waters and treading carefully. His grip on your thigh tightens until–
He lets go. You feel the tension in his body dissipate, and finally, he allows himself to fully enjoy you—taste you. The kiss deepens, and you swear it brought life back into your frail body. He overwhelms you now in the most delicious way possible. Your toes curl, and your tight embrace eases. Your arms go weak, your hands moving to run down his chest, his taut muscles quivering in the wake of your touch. Every moment was a promise, every brush of skin a new vow. No words were spoken, but you both heard everything that had been held back, everything that had been left unsaid.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
He smiles against your lips, but you don’t stop or pull away, catching and nipping at his bottom lip. Then, you kiss him again, slotting his top lip between yours. “You really love me, huh? Hehe.”
Oh. You hadn’t realized you said it—whimpered murmurs against his lips. No wonder why he looked all dopey and smiley.
“You’re not going to make me grovel for forgiveness?” He pecks your lips again. “This seems too easy. I know you’re still mad.”
You chase after his lips. “Of course, I’m still mad,” you mutter against him. “But I thought I would never see you again.” Even as he frowns, you pepper his lips with kisses. “Plus, it's not like you to grovel.”
“I would for. Only for you, of course.”
You giggle, nipping his lip a little harder. “Yeah,” you rolled your eyes. “I’d like to see that.”
Oh no. You’ve made a grave mistake. You knew you messed up again the second the words fell from your lips. There’s a glint in his eyes now.
“Oh, my beautiful, angelic Queen! I know I have displeased you. Please accept my humble apologies!” You squeak at the suddenness of his actions. He sinks to his knees dramatically, and his palms meet the dirty floor, and so does his forehead. “I am at your mercy! I have failed you greatly, and I wish to make amends.”
You swat him on the back of his head, but it's not nearly enough to hurt him or deter him from whatever this is. “Gojo! Don’t bow like that! Get up!”
“But I can’t!” He whines. “You must forgive me! I will spend eternity on my knees if it means I can regain your favor, my perfect, beautiful, divine Queen. You alone rule this sinners heart!” He inches forward on his knees, squeezing himself between your legs. His hands find homage on your waist as he nudges his face into your stomach.
Your eyes roll skyward. “Only you could apologize and insult me at the same time, Satoru,” you grumble, looking down at him before running your fingers through white stands.
Suddenly, he looks up from this position, resting his chin right beneath your ribs, grinning ear to ear. “You called me Satoru~”
You feel your face flush, heat gushing to your cheeks and ears. “Shut up. You’re such an idiot. Can you get up now?”
“Nah,” he says lazily, burying his head into your stomach again. His voice comes out muffled. “I’m trying to make amends with my Queen. Let me, will ya?”
You ease, realizing you won't be able to stop him from doing what he wants. Even if it was a bit theatrical, he was doing his best—you know that because you know him. You let your nails gently graze his scalp as you continued to pat him. He hums, almost purrs, as your other hand finds his shoulder, squeezing him gently before running your fingers under his shirt, caressing his skull and the taut muscles in his back. A beat of silence passes, but you find yourself uncaring.
You had him back in your arms. That’s all that really mattered to you right now.
“Look, I know… I know I messed up,” he begins, voice so low, you nearly miss it. “I’m not great at this—saying the right things. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was stressed. I was fed up with the higher-ups and fed up with my missions, but that’s no excuse. If I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. You deserve better than what I was giving you. I’m gonna try to be better… for you. For us.” His words hang in the air a bit awkwardly, but you can see the sincerity in his eyes and hear it in his voice. It couldn’t be missed. He shifts a bit, moving to kiss your belly. Then, his large hand wrap around yours, guiding your hand closer to his lips. He kisses the back of your knuckles tenderly as if the act of his apology could never be enough.
“You want me to stay?”
He squeezes you tighter. “Of course I do. What would I be without you?”
“Hm. You’d still be Gojo Satoru. Even without me.”
“I don’t want to imagine a life without you,” he mutters. “Wherever you go, that’s where I’ll follow. I've already told you that…”
“Don’t say that,” you whisper sweetly, patting his head. He nudges his head further into you. “The world will always need you.”
“I will always need you. So please… stop talking like this.” He pinches your side, making you squeak. Finally he looks up, an unimpressed expression gracing his features. “And don’t ever leave the city to get away from me. When you told me you were going to a hotel, I thought you meant in Tokyo.”
You chuckle nervously, looking elsewhere. “Yeah… Sorry about that.”
“Next time, take a walk or something. I dunno, go touch some grass if you get tired of me.”
A small smile escaped you, followed by a quiet laugh that shook your shoulders. You pat his back three times before kneading him softly. “Okay, humble peasant. You've groveled for long enough. Now lay with me,” you demand him. “I want you to lay with me. I’m so tired.”
“Psh. I’d hardly fit on this bed.”
“Whatever,” you tell him, scooting over. “I’ll make room. Get in, string bean.”
He grins. “Yes, ma’am.”
It’s a bit awkward at first with his lanky form, but he makes it work. It was a tight fit, and his feet slightly dangled off the bed, but he made no objections. With your back to his chest, he held you against him securely.
“You’re cold,” he observes out loud when you start playing with his fingers. It’s a bitter realization, a deafening one on his part. You know it bothers him, especially as he wraps the blanket around you tighter.
He tries not to let it show. However, he quickly becomes restless and you know he isn’t sated. He begins to move. “Let me go get you another blanket.”
“Nooo. Stay here.”
“Huh? But you’re freezing! And you’re never cold!”
“I’m already warming up!” You intervene with a small giggle, tugging him by his jacket. “Just shut up and lay with me, already.” He hesitates before unbuttoning his black jacket. When he was determined, there wasn’t any stopping a man like him, and right now, he was determined to get you warm.
He lays his jacket over you, spreading the fabric out, smoothing away all the wrinkles, and making sure you're covered. It might as well be a blanket with how long it was over you. Bonus points because it still carried him warmth and smelled like his cologne. A blend of earth and wood with a hint of something darker—smokey and smooth. You always loved the scent. Whenever he walked by, it brushed past you like a gentle breeze over still water, warm and inviting, with subtle notes of leather, musk, and vanilla.
He grunts a bit before easing into the bed again. “My little icicle- ow,” you shot your elbow back, getting him right in the ribs. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” He chuckles, before wrapping his arms over you one more. He brushes your hair from your neck, his breath fanning against your skin. He kisses you there once, twice, three times before saying something familiar.
“I could sense when you left Tokyo. I didn’t know what to do. Even with my eyes, I couldn’t find you. You were just gone. Don’t ever go where I can’t follow." He kisses your neck. "Please.”
You turn around, searching for his lips. He melts into you once again, squeezing your side sweetly. “I promise,” you murmur. “Wherever you go, that’s where I’ll follow,” you say, voicing back the same promise he made you. He smiles faintly against your lips.
When you woke up the next morning, your necklace was there. It was back where it belonged, sapphires resting gently over your steady beating heart—carrying Satoru’s silent promise.
Wherever you go, that’s where I follow.
-
a/n: I honestly don't know how I feel about this but if you made it to the end I hope the nearly 18k was worth reading. If you couldn't tell its based off the song Die With A Smile. Honestly, I think I might have been happier by making this a bit longer and flushing out some of the scenes more, but I was trying new things and I was excited to post my first jjk post :) however its getting late now but if there's any typos or errors I notice later I'll edit as needed.
anyways, if you'd like to see more gojo x sorcerer!reader let me know! also I really hoped you liked the bits I added with Megumi (he's just a smol bean).
likes and reblogs are always appreciated! :p
#milawritess#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#fanfic#satoru gojo x reader#angst#jjk x you#happy ending#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#gojo angst#gojo x you#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo x you#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk fanfic
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Yeah, so. The best way I can explain my thoughts on these ships (especially Artazun - Artanis/Vorazun) is using one of Avril Lavigne's most iconic songs:
He was a boy
She was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
Like, I'm not trying to throw any shade at all, people can ship whatever they want. But I am yet to meet a person who ships these two that explains why they like them so much in a way that makes sense to me. Because sooner or later, their explanation boils down to "He's a guy and she's a gal so ofc they'd be into each other" as if a straight ship is some kind of default and if a story has a male main character and a female main character, they have to end up together. And I just don't see it. Them as friends? Sure, absolutely, imo they're great as friends, but not as a couple. Alarak and Artanis have way more chemistry with one another. Bit of a hot take but so does Rohana and Vorazun. But Artanis/Vorazun is about as interesting to me as watching paint dry is. It's like when you pick up a mediocre romance book where the girl character obviously ends up with the boy character because That's Just How Things Are no matter of they're good together or not. No thanks. Pass
Kerrinor is a bit more complicated in a sense that the game actively tries to convince you these two are really into each other. But if I had to sum up their vibes, I'd reach for Sk8tr Boy again. "He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious?" I just don't get the romantic vibes at all off of these two. Raynor frequently comes off as an incel that gives the vibes of someone who'd insist they know better than you and just to listen to them because they know best, while also transforming into the biggest simp in the galaxy in SC2 as he pines over a woman that's obviously not into him.
And Kerrigan gives me the vibes of someone who really does wanna see more in this weird relationship, but more because she thinks having someone to love will make her feel whole and worthy of living rather than that she really wants this. Like, if shit didn't go south and she didn't get infected, I'm 100% that eventually she'd go "Yeah sorry lol this ain't gonna work." and break it off with Raynor. Like, I do think she cares deeply for Raynor, don't get me wrong, and at one point might have thought what she feels is romantic love, but eventually comes to a point where she realises that it's a sense of kinship rather than anything romantic. She loves him as a friend, that is all.
And funny enough, if you know more about his character, you know he had a wife and a son that he tragically lost. Knowing this information and how he's written, Raynor comes off to me as someone who's desperately looking for that kind of love again, albeit without realising, because the time he spent happy with his family was the happiest he ever was and his defeated, depressed ass desperately wants that again. So he seeks that shit and Kerrigan just happens to be there.
You can clearly see that he cares deeply about her, but his feelings of affection are misplaced to the point he doesn't want to see the kind of person she is and instead tries to morph her into the kind of woman HE wants. Which is not who Kerrigan is at all. Revenge is all she has left, no matter what it takes, and Raynor again and again tries to talk her out of it for his own personal wants when she makes it very very clear this isn't something she wants to do and that she cannot just let go of what Mengsk did to her and what that man's choices turned her into. And instead of trying to understand why someone he supposedly understands so deeply would want to kill the man who robbed her off of everything and turned her into a monster that killed billions, he gets butthurt when she doesn't wanna run off with him and live happily ever after. I love Raynor for many reasons, I think he's a well written character in a lot of aspects but this just. Ain't it. If the game treated this behaviour of his as a flaw, I'd dig it. But instead it tries to tell how boo boo poor Raynor is just so unfortunate to want a woman that doesn't want him, even when he ignores everything that's important to her. That's just not doing it for me, fam. I get that the game tries to ram it down my throat as the technically only canon ship it gives us in its five installments, but I can't get behind it. Kerrinor is a big fat no for me, let them just stay friends.
a ship where i see what people see but it is simply not very interesting to me personally it’s like
#If you wanna read a story where Kerrigan is visibly as much into a guy as he is into her read Uprising#Kerrigan/Somo >>>>>>>>> Kerrigan/Raynor#Artazun is just mega boring for me#Like I see no other reason why you'd ship them aside from some heteronormative takes#I absolutely see them as good friends but as a couple? That's a big no for me. Thanks#Also lol lmao but Kerrigan and Isza have much more chemistry than Kerrinor ever did#And they officially say they love one another in SC1 so like this speaks volumes to me#Even if I don't ship Kerrigan/Isza I'd get behind that one much sooner than Kerrinor#Starcraft#Not art#Shut up Val
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TOO MUCH.
content.
angst, misscommunication, arguments, reader is insecure and mentally ill, vulnerability, fear of abandonment, relationship tension, trauma, anxiety, happy ending :) lowk based on my last relationship lol | wc. 1k
n/a. haihiish first time writing angst, constructive criticism and advice is very much encouraged, also not sure if everything’s written correctly but yeah, enjoy!
sometimes, you wondered if it was too much—your need for reassurance, the way you clung to every small gesture or word like it might be the last. you overanalyzed everything, replaying moments in your head, dissecting every interaction until doubt crept in like a tide you couldn’t stop. what if you were overwhelming? what if you were uncomfortable to be around? what if she was just too kind to say it?
these thoughts weren’t new. they came in waves, rising and falling like a cruel cycle. most times, you could shove them down, let them fade into the background. but this time? this time, they rooted themselves deep, spreading like a sickness until you could barely function.
you stopped communicating with vi. stopped kissing her, barely touching her. every vulnerable moment became something to avoid at all costs. you thought: i’m too much for her. she deserved more—someone stronger, someone prettier, someone less broken. not you.
and the silence between you grew, like a chasm too wide to cross.
a month passed like this, your heart breaking a little more each day, but vi didn’t say a word. not about your distance, not about your growing absence. and that silence—it fed your fears like gasoline to a fire. if she cared, wouldn’t she have asked? wouldn’t she have noticed? wouldn’t she have fought for you?
.
that day, you sat curled on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through tiktok. every swipe brought another impossibly perfect face, another reminder of how inadequate you were. if you looked like them, maybe she’d notice. maybe she’d care. maybe she’d love you the way you wanted her to.
a notification broke your thoughts.
“need to talk to you.”
—vi<3— sat above the message, your stomach twisted. this was it, wasn’t it? she’d had enough.
half an hour later, you heard the door. you stood quickly, wiping your clammy hands on your jeans, trying to steel yourself for what was coming.
“hey,” you greeted shakily, barely looking up. “how was work?”
“it was fine.” her tone was clipped, her eyes not meeting yours. the air felt heavy, suffocating. “can we… can we talk?”
there it was.
“y-yeah,” you stammered, already bracing yourself.
“what’s going on with us?” she asked, her voice low but firm.
“what do you mean?” you hedged, looking anywhere but at her.
“don’t do that.” she sighed, running a hand through her short pink hair. “you know exactly what i mean. you’ve been pulling away from me, shutting me out, and i don’t know why. just tell me. i can’t keep guessing.”
her words felt like a punch to the chest. you didn’t want this conversation—you didn’t want to hurt her more than you already had. but the dam broke.
“i’m not worth it, vi” you admitted, your voice cracking. “we both know it. i’m—there’s something wrong with me. i’m broken. and you…” you swallowed hard, tears burning at the edges of your eyes. “you deserve better. you deserve someone whole. someone who isn’t dragging you down.”
she stepped closer, her brows knitting together, her expression unreadable.
“do you even hear yourself?” she asked, her voice quiet but sharp. “is that really what you think?”
“i know it.” you sniffled, finally looking up at her through your tears. “i’m trying to do the right thing here, vi. i’m trying to give you an out.”
“i don’t want an out,” she snapped, and her voice cracked in a way that made your heart ache. “you think i don’t know you have your struggles? you think i don’t know you’re scared? i don’t care about any of that. i’m not here because it’s easy, or because you’re perfect. i’m here because i love you. because you’re you.”
her words hit you like a tidal wave. but then, something shifted in your chest—an ache, a flicker of anger you didn’t know was there.
“then why didn’t you say anything before?” you asked, your voice sharp. “why did you just… let it get this far?”
vi blinked, surprised by your tone. “what do you mean?”
“i mean, i’ve been distant for weeks, vi,” you said, voice rising. “i’ve been falling apart right in front of you, and you didn’t say a damn thing. why?”
her jaw tightened. “i was giving you space. i thought—”
“space?” you let out a bitter laugh, tears spilling down your cheeks. “you thought i needed space? how could you not see that i needed you?”
“i’m not a mind reader,” she snapped, her voice rising to match yours. “do you know how hard it’s been to watch you pull away? to wonder every day if i was losing you?”
“then why didn’t you ask?” you shot back.
“because i was scared, okay?” she yelled, her voice breaking. “i was scared that if i pushed too hard, you’d leave. that i’d lose you for good.”
her admission stunned you into silence. for a moment, all you could do was stare at her, both of you breathing hard, tears streaming down your faces.
“i don’t want to lose you” she repeated softly, her voice trembling.
your anger melted away, replaced by a deep, aching guilt. “vi… i don’t want to lose you either” you whispered, your voice cracking.
“then stop pushing me away,” she pleaded, stepping closer. her hands found your cheeks, her touch grounding. “stop trying to decide what i can handle. you’re not too much for me. i love you, and i’m here. but you have to let me in.”
“what if i ruin this?” you asked, your voice breaking. “what if i ruin you?”
“you won’t” she said simply, her voice resolute. “and even if you stumble, even if it gets messy—i’ll be here. every step of the way.”
her words broke something inside you, and you let out a sob, collapsing into her arms. “i’m sorry” you choked out. “i’m so sorry, vi.”
she held you tightly, her arms strong and steady. “i know” she murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m here. i’ve got you.”
and for the first time in weeks, you felt like you could breathe.
© viollents 2025. all rights reserved.
#ᥫ᭡. bela’s works#wlw post#arcane#violet x you#vi fluff#vi fanfic#vi arcane#violet arcane#violet x reader#vi x reader#vi smut#vi x you#vi angst#arcane violet#violyn#angst#angst with a happy ending#angst fic#arcane fluff#arcane fanfic#arcane fandom#arcane league of legends#arcane headcanon#lesbian#sapphic#wlw couple
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Safe embrace
pairing: lee felix x afab!reader
genre: fluff, smut, best friends to lovers
wc: 16k
synopsis: your toxic boyfriend leaves you just as you find out you're carrying his child, making your worst nightmare come true. thinking you have no one and you'll have to care for the baby alone, you're pleasantly surprised when your best friend swoops in to help you out.
warnings: toxic relationship, mentions of abuse and cheating, mentions of abortion (all in the beginning), pregnancy symptoms, crying, brief description of birth (nothing graphic)
nsfw warnings: multiple sex scenes, pregnant sex, nipple play, breeding kink, breastfeeding kink, oral (f and m), fingering, unprotected sex, creampies, felix is soft and obsessed
a/n: this was kind of inspired by this drabble i wrote! hope you enjoy the full fic💙 i never wrote pregnant reader and i wanted to write something mostly sweet🫶🏻
~ divider by @strangergraphics
~ masterlist
You were standing in front of your bathroom mirror shaking, the two little lines indicating that you were pregnant.
Your eyes welled up with tears, your worst fear had come true.
You were so close to getting out of your toxic relationship and now you were bound forever to the person who abused you and treated you like crap.
Anxiety took over your body as you started sobbing, he was going to come home from work soon and you had no idea how he'd react to the news.
Around 8pm he walked in, late as usual, you knew he was cheating on you but any time you tried to start a conversation with him, he'd find a way to spin it and make it seem like everything was your fault.
In the back of your mind, you knew it wasn't but three years of verbal abuse can do a lot to a person's way of thinking, and you were used to being figuratively smacked around by your boyfriend, always making excuses for him in your mind; he's exhausted from work, he didn't mean it, someone irritated him, he'll be better next time.
He never got physical, but sometimes you thought it was just a matter of time before he starts slapping you around.
It's not like you never tried to leave, you did.
But, he always found a way to manipulate you into coming back to him and like a fool you always fell for his empty promises.
This time, you decided it was the last time and you finally gathered all of the courage you had.
You were going to leave his sorry ass and never come back again, never fall for his lies again, never feel this miserable but now you felt you had no way out of this.
"What did you make for dinner?" he asked, not even sparing you a glance as he took his tie off.
"Chicken and rice." you answered.
"Good." he said as he continued to strip and you stood there nervously, playing with your fingers.
He lifted his head up and frowned at you.
"What are you waiting for? Serve me dinner, I'm hungry." he looked at you as if you were just a maid in his house and even though you wanted to tell him to put his own damn food on his plate, your tongue was twisted like always and your legs had a mind of their own.
You did what he asked, serving him dinner, before you sat on the other side.
He sat down and started eating. Your heart was beating fast as you kept looking at him.
"There's something I have to tell you." you decided to break the ice.
"What?" he asked, an unimpressed look on his face.
"I- I'm pregnant." you said quietly and he froze before his fork fell out of his hand, clattering against the plate.
Suddenly, he started laughing.
"You're shitting me, right?"
"No, I took a few tests and they're all positive."
He continued laughing and it was not the reaction you expected.
"Whatever. Get rid of it." he said, picking his fork back up and continuing to eat.
"What?" you looked at him in shock, your heart skipping a beat.
"You heard me. I'll pay for the abortion. I don't want to have a child with you." he said like you were the most disgusting thing he's ever seen.
"I'm- I don't want to get an abortion." you swallowed and he looked up at you.
"Well, I don't give a fuck about what you want. You will do as I say."
"No, I won't!" you stood up suddenly and he looked up at you before letting out a chuckle.
"Great, I was looking for a reason to do this." he said before standing up.
"D-do what?" you stuttered, taking a step back as fear washed over you.
"Get the hell out of my house." he crossed his arms and your lips parted.
"You're throwing me out?" your eyes widened.
"Yes, if you don't get rid of that thing, I want you out."
"But I have nowhere to go." your eyes filled up with tears, you had nothing of your own, your asshole boyfriend made sure he was the one to provide you with everything so you had to depend on him.
"Do I look like I care? You're good for nothing anyways. Can't even cook a decent meal and now you wanna have a baby? Ridiculous. The only thing you're good for is spending my money."
His words stung and everything around you started spinning, your head hurt and you had trouble breathing as you started panicking.
"You didn't let me work!" your voice raised as your eyes filled with tears.
He scoffed, coming closer to you as he grabbed your wrist and you yelled for him to let you go but he started dragging you towards the front door.
"I said get out bitch! I don't want anything to do with you and whatever is inside you. If you ever come near me again I'll fucking kill you!" he yelled as he opened the door, literally throwing you out before slamming the door in your face.
You couldn't believe he reacted this way, you thought he'd use your pregnancy to manipulate you even more but he did the opposite.
You really had nothing except your phone in your pocket, not even a jacket as you shivered in the cold night air. Tears kept sliding down your cheeks as you turned and started walking down the street. Your mind was blank for some time while you were trying to process everything that happened.
You reached for your phone and saw you had texts from Felix, your best friend. A smile spread on your face instantly, he was the only good thing in your life, the only light that shined on you in your darkest moments. You decided to call him and he picked up almost immediately.
"Oh, hey bubby! I was just about to text you." he answered cheerfully, as always.
"Lix." you sniffled. "Are you home?" you almost didn't recognize your voice, you sounded broken.
"Y/n, what's wrong?" Felix was worried instantly.
"Can you pick me up? Please?" you couldn't stop crying.
"Of course, tell me where you are and I will be there as soon as I can." he said, already getting up and grabbing his jacket.
You told him where you were and waited as you picked on your jeans.
Felix drove fast, finding you in less than ten minutes. His heart broke when he saw you hugging yourself and shivering without a jacket.
He ran out of his car fast and you looked up at him, fresh tears forming in your eyes. Felix took his jacket off without a word, wrapping you up in it before enveloping you in a hug.
"Shh, it's okay bubby. I'm here now." he soothed you with his warm deep voice, his hand moving in circles on your upper back.
"Let's get you warmed up, hm?" he leaned back to look at you and you nodded.
Felix turned up the heating in the car for you and the ride was silent as he drove you back to his apartment. Your mind started spinning as you stared out the window, all the possible scenarios passed you by and none of them seemed positive.
Felix led you to the couch, wrapping you up in a blanket and running to the kitchen to make you a cup of hot cocoa as you melted into the warm and soft fabric that was hugging you.
It smelled like Felix and it was comforting just like he always was.
"Careful, it's still hot." he smiled as he brought two cups of steaming hot cocoa, before sitting down next to you carefully.
"Was it him?" Felix asked with a serious expression on his face, referring to your, well now ex-boyfriend.
Felix never liked the guy, he could see right through his fake smiles and fake words. You never told him the extent of the abuse but he knew something was wrong.
"He threw me out of his house." you said, clutching onto the blanket and Felix's eyes widened.
"What? What the hell is wrong with him?!" Felix looked angry at that moment, his face becoming red and his hands clenching into fists.
"Because I'm pregnant." you finished, suddenly finding the white rug under the coffee table in Felix's living room interesting.
It was quiet for a while before you felt his hand on yours so you looked up at him and he wore the softest expression you've ever seen on your best friend's face.
"I'm so sorry, y/n."
"Well, it's not your fault. It's mine. I was dumb and let him control me, I should've left him sooner and now he dumped me and said he doesn't want me or the baby. Actually, he threatened me, telling me if I don't abort he will throw me out. And I told him that I'm keeping the baby..."
"First of all, you're not dumb, he is. I knew he was an asshole but I had no idea he was this sick. I can't believe he told you to abort, that's your decision to make anyways." Felix said and you sat quietly as he squeezed your hand.
Your eyes welled up with tears again.
"What am I gonna do now? I have nowhere to go."
Felix scooted closer to you.
"Wrong." he said with a smile and you looked at him. "You can stay here, with me."
"B-but I don't wanna impose on your privacy. And with a baby too..." you felt like a burden at that moment, like you were asking too much of Felix even though he was the one to offer it first.
"Nonsense. You're my best friend, you think I would leave you out on the street? You and your baby are more than welcome here. I will help you with everything you need and you can focus on growing a life." he smiled at you and you burst into tears.
"Y-you're an angel, Lixie." you sobbed as you wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest. "Are you sure this is okay?"
"More than sure, bubs. You know I love you a lot?" he said, his eyes full of warmness as he smiled at you sweetly, caressing your head.
"I love you too, Lixie." you held him tightly.
"Now, drink your cocoa before it gets cold." he chuckled, handing you the cup.
You felt so blessed to have someone like him as a best friend and the horrible feelings that filled you up earlier were now in the back of your mind.
"You must be exhausted." Felix noticed as you kept sinking into the couch while you drank the cocoa and he yapped about his favorite games to get your mind off of everything.
"Actually, I am." you nodded.
"Are you hungry? I'll make dinner and you can take a nice hot shower." Felix smiled.
"I don't even have any clothes." your eyes welled up with tears again.
"You can wear mine. Don't worry about anything." he quickly shook his head and you nodded as he reached to touch your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb.
When you stepped into the shower, you were left with your thoughts again.
You thought about your life, your now ex boyfriend and how you let yourself get into this situation where you couldn't even help yourself and had to depend on someone else helping you.
And now you had a life growing inside you, your ex's words ringing in your head; how you're not capable of doing anything properly, not even cleaning or cooking let alone anything else, how are you going to take care of another human being?
You couldn't stop crying but you didn't want to worry Felix and stay in the shower for too long so you tried to dry your tears and look normal as you got dressed in the clothes he gave you.
Felix turned to look at you as you walked in and his heart hurt when he saw the redness in your eyes and your sad face, you've never looked this down before.
"I made some ramen. That was the fastest thing I could whip up but tomorrow we can go shopping for some groceries because you need to eat healthy from now on. Oh and you're gonna need to make a doctor's appointment. Don't worry, I'll go with you." he talked as he served dinner and you sat with your hands in your lap, crying quietly as your tears soaked the fabric of the shirt you were wearing.
"Y/n?" he leaned down to look at your face.
"I'm sorry, Felix. I just feel so bad." you sniffled.
"Hey, it's okay, really. I told you I don't mind taking care of you, in fact it makes me happy."
"It's not just that." you hiccuped as he sat next to you, grabbing your hands and rubbing circles with his thumbs.
"What is it?" he tilted his head at you.
"I don't think I will be any good at this." your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.
"What? Being a mom?" Felix frowned and you nodded.
"You're gonna be an amazing mom, y/n. I've known you almost my whole life and you're the most caring and responsible person I know. Look, I know everything seems terrifying right now, you just found out you're pregnant and your ex acted like an asshole so you're pretty shaken up. What you need is food and sleep. And to stop thinking about things that haven't even happened yet, hm?" Felix played with your fingers and you nodded, wiping your tears away.
"You're right, I can't even think straight right now. There is so many emotions inside me that I don't know where to start."
"Let's start with dinner." Felix smiled and you were amazed at how calm he seemed.
But on the inside, Felix was seething. He couldn't believe that your ex really had no heart, throwing you away like he did, especially when you're pregnant.
Felix was mad at himself in a way, he felt like he could've done something more to help you get out of the toxic relationship earlier and you wouldn't be as hurt as you are now.
He wished you chose him instead of your ex. Things would've been different then, Felix would treat you like a queen, the way you deserve it.
To you, Felix looked absolutely calm as he smiled at you but rage was bubbling up inside him along with the need to smash in your ex's face. But he held all that down for your sake, his top priority was to make you feel safe, not upset.
"I would give you the guest room to sleep in but it kind of became a storage room. So I'll have to get everything out and clean it up but in the meantime you can sleep in my room and I'll take the couch." Felix said after you got ready for bed.
"Oh, I can sleep on the couch, I don't wanna take your room too." you said, your face burning.
"No way, the couch is not comfortable." he shook his head.
"But isn't that gonna be bad for your back?" you worried instantly, knowing that your friend had back problems.
"I'll be okay for one night." he smiled.
"If you're sure." you chewed on your lip nervously.
"Of course."
Felix changed the sheets and prepared the couch as you barely stood on your feet, the exhaustion from the turmoil you felt washing over your body.
"Everything's gonna be okay, bubby." Felix said soothingly as he gave you a warm hug.
You didn't know what to say to thank him for everything he's doing, instead you just squeezed him tightly making him squeal and chuckle.
"Good night, y/n."
"Good night, Lixie."
As soon as your head hit the pillow, you fell asleep, drowning in the soft sheets and blankets.
Felix tossed and turned on his couch, mind racing with thoughts.
He thought about how much you meant to him, how much he had always loved you and wanted to be with you, but it was like you were blind to his love and instead kept running to your asshole ex.
He thought about how scared you must be, a protective feeling waking up inside him along with all the other feelings he had for you that he needed to learn how to suppress because you had a boyfriend.
Felix decided he was going to do his best to show you that love is supposed to be soft, comforting and sweet, not whatever your asshole ex made you believe.
The next morning when you woke up, you were confused for a second until you rubbed your eyes and looked around.
Seeing you were in Felix's room, everything that happened last night came flooding back, some kind of fear washing over you but the fact that you were surrounded by Felix's comforting scent and his things managed to calm you down.
He always had this effect on you, that's why you kept one of his hoodies for years even though it didn't even smell like him anymore; it belonged to him and that was enough to comfort you.
Shit! Your things!, you remembered, your ex threw you out without giving you any of your clothes, your knick-knacks and most importantly your laptop.
You slowly got up, following the sounds of utensils that were coming from the kitchen.
As soon as you entered, you saw a very disheveled Felix running around the stove like a busy-bee.
The smell of eggs hit you and your stomach started rising up to your throat.
"Oh, good morning y/n." Felix turned to look at you just as you covered your mouth with your hand. His eyes widened as you turned around, running to the bathroom.
"Shit." Felix cursed under his breath, turning the stove off and running after you just in time as you leaned over the toilet.
He quickly gathered your hair in his hand as you threw up, his other hand moving in soothing circles on your upper back.
"Ew." you whimpered as your eyes teared up.
"Are you okay?" Felix asked cautiously when you flushed the toilet.
"The smell of eggs was too much. I didn't think this would start already." you groaned and Felix chuckled.
"Damn, my cooking sucks that bad, huh?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood and you giggled.
"We can work on that." you winked as he smiled at you.
"You know what? I will look up what's good for you to eat right now with the sickness and all, and I'll make it for you." he said.
"That's sweet, Lixie but I can make it myself, don't worry about it." you quickly shook your head.
Felix pouted at you before grabbing your face. Your heart skipped a beat.
"Listen to me. I enjoy taking care of you so let me do this for you."
"Fine." you sighed as you made your way back to the kitchen.
"Remember that time in high school when you got shitfaced?" Felix smirked at you, throwing the half-burnt eggs in the trash.
"Oh my god, please don't talk about that." embarrassment washed over you.
"Come on, we can laugh at it now. You were so funny, you couldn't even talk properly. And you tried to climb on the table and dance. I think if I didn't catch you, you'd probably break a bone or something." Felix snickered as he searched up some breakfast ideas on his phone.
"Ha ha, very funny that I almost got a concussion by being a lightweight." you rolled your eyes with a smile.
"Nah, I would've caught you before you hit the floor anyways." Felix smiled, making your stomach flutter.
"Hey, I have some of these things in my kitchen. Oats and almonds and such." he showed you a recipe he found and you nodded.
"I can make that too, it's no biggie." you started getting up but Felix shook his head.
"I know you can. But I want to do it for you."
You couldn't argue with him and he seemed genuinely happy about making you breakfast so you sat down and waited, playing with your fingers.
"You know, I remembered that I never had the chance to get all my stuff from my ex. My laptop is still at his place." you chewed on your lip.
"I'll get them." Felix said nonchalantly as the two of you ate.
"A-are you sure? He can be... an uncomfortable person." you grimaced and Felix chuckled.
"Bubby, I have a 3rd degree black belt in taekwondo. I could break him in half if I wanted to." he smirked, making you giggle.
"You're right, I forgot with how innocent you look." you teased and Felix laughed.
"All the better. He won't know what hit him." he sat up straight then made a few moves with his arms acting like he was cutting the air into pieces.
"Okay, just don't get in trouble, killer."
-
When Felix left to get your things, you decided to clean up the kitchen. You didn't want to feel like you were just waiting for him to do everything for you, you wanted to do your part and help him out when he took you in without even thinking twice.
Felix must be an angel, that's what you thought as you smiled to yourself while washing the dishes.
Your angel was currently parked in front of your ex's house, his hands gripping the steering wheel, knuckles turning white from the way he held onto it.
He was trying to calm his anger down, the one that surfaced as he thought about your disgusting boyfriend yelling at you and throwing you out into the cold night.
Felix had to walk in there with a cool demeanor, otherwise he would end up letting his anger get the best of him and he'd show the guy just who he had crossed.
After taking a few deep breaths, Felix finally made his way to the door and knocked. Shuffling could be heard from the other side before your ex opened the door, giving Felix the elevator eyes.
"Oh, you." the guy scrunched his nose up.
"I'm here to pick up y/n's things." Felix said calmly.
"Whatever, just do it quickly. It's junk anyways, you saved me the time I would lose throwing it out." he shrugged and Felix could feel the anger course through his veins but he had to bite his tongue.
He tried to gather all your stuff as quickly as he could, putting it in a bag he brought, making sure to take your laptop too. A small smile danced on his lips when he saw you still had his favorite hoodie. He grabbed it and put it in the bag too before turning around to leave the room.
"I'm assuming y/n ran to you immediately." your ex scoffed. "Makes sense, she's not capable of taking care of herself anyways."
Felix's eyes darkened.
"You better watch what you say." his voice dipped low.
"Or what?" your ex folded his arms on his chest, staring at Felix.
"Or you'll regret it."
"Ooh, I'm so scared!" he mocked as Felix made his way out of the house.
"Don't even think of coming near y/n again or trying to contact her. Matter of fact, I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again." Felix said and turned on his heel, not giving your ex time to respond as he frowned on the porch.
-
"I had no idea you kept my hoodie." Felix smiled as you rummaged through your things and your face heated up.
"Oh... Of course I did. It was a gift." you smiled back.
"Yeah, I remember that day like it was yesterday. We were at Jeongin's birthday party."
2 years ago
You had been invited to yours and Felix's mutual friend's party for his birthday. Getting your boyfriend to go with you was another story.
"Why do I have to go? I don't even know Jeongin well. And why would you want to go there alone? We should stay at home." he said.
"But Jeongin is my friend! He invited me and I already bought a gift."
"So what? You can just give it to him some other day. I was hoping we could stay in tonight." he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him.
"B-but I really want to go." you said.
"Fine. Go. But there will be consequences."
"What?" your eyebrow lifted in shock. "What are you talking about?"
"If you want to find out, just go to the party." he smirked at you.
"I- Just... just come with me? Please?"
He looked at you, pursing his lips as he thought about it. There would be so many guys there, is what ran through his mind. He didn't think you were that pretty but a horny drunk guy would fuck anything that walks so he decided it would be best if he went just so he could keep an eye on you.
"Fine."
Unaware of his thougths, you squealed happily, giving him a hug.
But everything went wrong at the party. Your boyfriend thought you had lingered too much while hugging Jeongin, making his delusional mind come up with all sorts of scenarios of you cheating on him.
He got drunk and made a scene, calling you a cheap slut before he left the party, leaving you behind. You cried as you ran to the back porch, wanting to catch some fresh night air in hopes of calming down.
"Hey, you okay?" it was Felix, who followed after you.
"Not really." you sighed, wiping your tears away as you shivered.
He noticed you were cold so he took off his hoodie.
"Here, you can have it." he smiled sweetly at you, making you melt instantly as you thanked him.
"You know you can do so much better than him, right?" Felix asked as you drowned in the warmth his hoodie provided.
"We all have our flaws, Lix. He's not that bad. He'll realize he was wrong and apologize to me once he's sober." you shrugged.
"Are you sure? Because if he-"
"Lix, it's fine really. You don't have to worry."
Of course it wasn't fine, the whole relationship kept spiralling downwards after that, bringing you to your current situation.
"Y/n?" Felix brought you out of your thoughts as you clutched onto his hoodie.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I got distracted." you smiled and he smiled back at you. "Lixie, thanks for being there for me always. I know I kind of ignored you lately but my ex didn't like me talking to other guys."
"What an insecure pig." Felix said and you chuckled. "But of course, I told you I'd always be there for you. Now, I'm gonna clean out the guest room and then we can call to make a doctor's appointment, does that sound good?"
"Yeah, sounds perfect. Do you need me to help?"
"No, it's all heavy stuff i have to move." Felix shook his head so you offered to make lunch.
While you were making it, you remembered what your ex said.
'Can't even cook a decent meal and now you wanna have a baby? Ridiculous.'
Your eyes watered instantly and you quickly wiped off the falling tears, continuing to cut veggies. You heard Felix moving around stuff and grunting as you cooked, humming to yourself.
"All done." he came into the kitchen with his hair messy and a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.
Something stirred in your gut for a moment but you ignored it.
"I'm almost done too. The smell of the meat is bothering me a little." you said and Felix gasped.
"Oh, let me finish up then." he quickly made his way to you.
"Maybe you should shower first." you took a step back from him and he pouted.
"Are you calling me stinky?"
"Mhm." you grimaced and he laughed.
"Fine, I get it. Be back in 5 minutes." he practically ran out of the kitchen and you let out a breath you were holding.
It wasn't that the scent of him made your stomach rise, quite the opposite, he suddenly smelled even nicer to you than before and once he came closer you felt it in your core. You scolded yourself for thinking about Felix like that and tried to ignore it as you finished up lunch.
When Felix came back, his hair still damp from the shower you looked at him in anticipation as he sat down to eat. Anxiety washed over you as you expected to be chastised for being a lousy cook even though you know in your heart Felix would never say something like that.
"Mm, this is delicious. I must say, I don't eat very healthily since I work a lot and this is refreshing." he smiled at you and relief took over.
"Thank you, I'm glad you like it." you smiled back at him.
After lunch, you called to make a doctor's appointment and Felix had some work to do on his computer, luckily he was mostly working from home as a programmer, only going to the office twice a week or more if needed for a project.
"I hope the bed is comfy enough." Felix said as you were getting ready to sleep in the guest room, which was now your room.
"Lixie, please, I'm grateful to have a bed at all." you sighed and he grabbed your hand.
"We'll get through this." he whispered and you nodded.
"I know."
A few days later, Felix and you walked out of the hospital with news that you were 6 weeks pregnant and that thankfully the baby was doing well.
"See, you had nothing to worry about." Felix smiled at you as the two of you got in his car.
But your emotions got the better of you immediately as you started crying.
"Oh, y/n?! What's wrong?" he leaned towards you, worry evident in his voice.
"I don't know, I- I think I'm crying from relief." you sniffled and Felix smiled at you fondly. "Let's just go home." you added, not even realizing that you called his apartment 'home'.
But Felix did, and his stomach filled up with butterflies that wouldn't stop flying around his insides until he parked in front of the building.
"I'm not feeling the best." you clutched at your stomach as you walked in, the feeling of nausea taking over your body. It was exhausting but you kept trying to remind yourself that this was just a phase, the worst part of it and that it will get better with time.
Some days it worked, other days it was unbearable. Today seemed to be one of those other days as your emotions were all over the place.
"Okay, go lay down and I will make some lunch."
Felix took it all so seriously, stepping up immediately as if it was his baby which made your heart clench in your chest. He made sure you were comfortable, brought you some tea and crackers for nausea, even pressed his lips on your forehead as he tucked you in.
When he left the room, tears started sliding down your cheeks and soaking your pillow.
You felt like you didn't do anything to deserve someone like Felix taking you in, and the burden of a baby that had nothing to do with him and you had no idea why he would go to such lengths to make you feel good. Yes, of course you knew that he cared about you but you felt beyond grateful and humble, trying to think of a way to give back.
But, Felix saw this as a second chance with you. A chance he would not let go to waste like he did before, when he held his tongue and his feelings back, never even hinting to you how much he loves you. It was enough for him that you were there and that everything was fine with you and the baby, the rest was not as important.
"I can't believe you're actually pregnant." Felix chuckled as the two of you chilled on the couch after dinner, some romantic comedy playing on tv.
"I can't believe it either." you chuckled with him. "I think it'll be more believeable when I start looking the part." you added and Felix froze for a moment.
How could he forget?
He'd already noticed your breasts getting bigger and he felt bad for the way he kept stealing glances at them all the time, but at the end of the day he's just a man.
It wasn't his fault that they looked rounder, and that you didn't care to wear a bra next to him, your nipples poking under the material of your shirt constantly, the way they swayed or jiggled with any movement you made.
Felix felt his dick twitch and he started beating himself up immediately. It's barely been two weeks since you were at his place, and he knew you were vulnerable and the last thing he would want to do was to make you feel like he was pouncing on you instantly.
God, he got so used to keeping his feelings and urges about you to himself, why was that so hard all of a sudden?
"Excuse me." Felix stood up rather quickly and you looked up at him shortly, watching him scramble to get to the bathroom.
You shrugged, continuing to watch the movie as you snuggled closer to the spot he was lounging in, the couch still warm and smelling like the body wash he used earlier. For some reason, you wanted to roll in it but you settled on stealing his spot and taking deep breaths.
Felix was trying to exercise deep breathing too, as he stood in the bathroom, willing his cock to soften up. Just the thought of you being all round and cute had him so worked up. How is he supposed to survive this?
Somehow, he managed to calm down and when he came back to the living room, his heart fluttered when he saw you dozing off in his spot.
"Bubby? You wanna sleep?" he said quietly, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear gently.
"Mm." you mumbled, half asleep.
"Cutie." Felix chuckled fondly before he gently lifted you up and carried you to your room.
"Lixie." you reached out for him blindly as he laid you down.
"It's okay, I'm here. Get some rest." he caressed your head before going back to the living room.
Your dreams were filled with images of your best friend that night, fleeting pictures of a relationship that never happened appeared in your mind, ending with the two of you holding a baby in your arms.
Couple of weeks later, you and Felix fell into a nice rhythm. He was mostly home, only having to go to the office twice a week, sometimes four days if he was working on a bigger project. You were glad he was there because your nausea has gotten worse and Felix didn't mind helping you out as always, cooking and cleaning together with the work he was doing.
You felt bad for that again, crying to him how you feel like you're not doing anything in the house and Felix was quick to shut all those thoughts down.
"Y/n, you are growing a literal human being. That's exhausting, your body is changing rapidly and you're scared. And that's normal and it's okay." Felix held you in his arms.
"How are you so understanding?" you hiccuped as you gripped his shirt, soaking it with your tears.
Because I love you.
Because I wanna make you happy.
Because you deserve this and more.
"I've been reading some books." Felix smirked playfully instead of saying all the other thoughts that crossed his mind at first.
You looked up at him before bursting into laughter, smacking his chest as he giggled at you.
It was getting harder for him every day, living with you and being together 24/7 felt so domestic, especially with you being pregnant and Felix kept daydreaming that the baby inside you was his baby too.
It didn't help that your tits just kept getting bigger and that you finally had a little bump to indicate the precious life growing inside you and Felix was obsessed with the way it looked on you.
You were slowly coming to terms with it, everything felt so surreal because it was happening so fast and you knew that even though it seems hard and exhausting right now, the baby would come very soon and then the real work will begin.
You spent a lot of time looking at your body in the mirror, checking it out and trying to accept that you were changing forever. It was hard but Felix was there for you, taking care of you, never missing a doctor's appointment, cooking for you, his arms always open to take you into his embrace where you felt the safest.
You had no idea how you'd get through all this if it wasn't for him, so when he left to work at the end of the week, you decided to make him a chocolate cake as a thank you even though you knew the pastry wasn't enough for what he was doing for you and your baby.
You were glad you woke up feeling somewhat less nauseous that day so you could function normally. Baking the cake proved to be fun as you blasted some music and enjoyed making something sweet for Felix.
"Bubby, I'm home!" he yelled out as he walked in around 4pm, while you were cleaning up in the kitchen.
"Hey, Lixie." you smiled at him as he came into the kitchen.
"How are you feeling?" he made his way to you, his arms wrapping around you automatically.
"Good, actually." you melted in his embrace as he held you from behind, his hand sliding down to caress your tummy. It was comforting when he touched you like that.
"Something smells nice." Felix chuckled, burying his face in your hair and you could feel the tip of his nose brushing against your neck. Goosebumps appeared on your skin as you pressed your body back into his without even realizing it.
"I baked you a cake." you said, not noticing the way Felix's breath hitched when your backside pressed into his middle.
"You did?" he asked happily, moving away from you because he was moments away from losing his mind.
"Mhm, chocolate, your favorite." you said as you walked over to the fridge to take it out.
"You spoil me, bubby." he grabbed your face, kissing the tip of your nose.
You were so close to grabbing his shirt, pulling him into you and kissing his sweet, inviting lips.
"You should eat lunch first. Dessert later." you said and Felix chuckled.
"I ate at work. I want my treat." he pouted, acting all sulky and you couldn't resist his adorable face.
You cut two pieces and the two of you sat down.
Felix dug in immediately, you knew he always had the biggest sweet tooth and he baked you his brownies hundreds of times so you wanted to show your appreciation.
"Mm, I love it!" he smiled happily and your heart fluttered as he munched on the cake cutely.
"Really? Is it better than your brownies?" you smirked, teasing him and he coughed a little before smirking back at you.
"Let's not go that far." he teased back and you smacked his arm playfully as he chuckled.
Fridays were always reserved for movie night and cuddles so later that evening Felix and you were settled on the couch together.
You noticed he looked tired and kept touching his neck, grunting under his breath quietly.
"Are you in pain?" you asked and his eyes widened a little before he looked at you.
"Oh, it's nothing. I just didn't have any time to stretch today because we had this big project to finish up before weekend. Basically, my neck and shoulders are on fire but it'll pass, it always does." Felix shrugged, waving it away with his hand like it was nothing.
"Lixie, let me give you a massage. I wanna help." you offered, having no idea that the thought of your hands on him like that had Felix twitching.
"No, it's fine really. You don't need to do that, I'll just sleep it off."
"Nonsense, come on." you motioned with your hands and Felix nodded, not wanting to upset you as he turned around.
He took a deep breath in, trying to calm down as you gathered his hair out of the way, your fingertips brushing against his sensitive neck and ears, making him shiver.
A blush appeared on his freckled cheeks, spreading to the tips of his ears and down to his neck as you sat closer to him, your legs around his frame as you put your hands on his shoulders.
"You're so tense." you snickered quietly, your breath hitting his skin.
"Ha... yeah, well I was sitting at my desk all day." Felix bit his lip, shutting his eyes tightly as you started to massage him.
"Jeez, relax. You're so stiff." your gripped his shoulders, trying to roll them back a little and he laughed nervously.
"Oh you have no idea." he said and you furrowed your brows, shaking your head as you continued giving him a massage.
He managed to relax after some time as you worked your magic on his neck and shoulders. It was so quiet around you that the action felt so intimate and you found yourself scooting closer to Felix. His neck looked pretty and inviting and suddenly you just wanted to press your lips on his skin.
And that's exactly what you did as you leaned in, mindlessly pressing your lips on the back of his neck.
Felix nearly jumped out of his skin as he turned to look at you, his face red as a tomato.
"What was that for?" he swallowed and you chuckled embarrassingly, playing with your hands.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I- I just leaned in and-"
"No, it's fine." Felix saw that you were getting upset immediately, your mood swings getting the better of you lately. "Just wasn't expecting it."
"Is you neck better?" you asked, ignoring the way your face burned.
"Oh yes, definitely. Thank you for that, bubby." he smiled at you and you felt warmness spreading inside your chest.
-
Felix laid in his bed restless. He couldn't stop thinking about your touches and the way you kissed his neck. He couldn't help it as his hand wandered down to his boxers, gripping his bulge before he started palming himself.
"Fuck." he grunted quietly, biting down on his arm as he pushed his underwear down just enough to take his leaking cock out and wrap his fingers around it.
He felt dirty for it but his mind swam with thoughts of you as he sped up, trying to finish as quickly as he could. He checked up on you earlier and you looked so sweet while sleeping soundly, he knew you felt safe with him and that was his number one goal.
He wanted nothing more than to make you feel comfortable and relaxed, to make you feel good. He wished he could cross the line and bring you pleasure the way you deserve it. With how selfish your ex was, Felix doubted he ever made any effort around you in that area too.
His mind wandered to your body then, specifically to your chest and he imagined himself sucking on your sweet nipples and that was enough to make Felix snap as he twitched and came all over his hand and abs.
He gasped, riding his high, his eyes teary.
After cleaning up quickly, he laid back in bed and fell asleep fast, trying not to think about the fact that he just touched himself to the thought of you.
-
"Lixie?" you gently knocked on his door before opening it, tears sliding down your cheeks.
"Felix?" you slowly made your way to his bed and he groaned in his sleep, his eyes fluttering open.
"Y/n?" his voice was deep and scratchy as he squinted at you. "What's wrong?" he sat up when he noticed you were crying.
"I had a nightmare." you sniffled and his expression softened as he lifted up his blanket.
"Come here, bubby." he invited you in and you plopped down in his bed, settling your back against him. It wasn't the first time you cuddled like that but you haven't shared a bed in so long, not since you started dating your ex.
Felix wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his body gently, nuzzling his face in your hair and the back of your neck.
Goosebumps rose on your skin as he caressed you gently, his hand landing on your tummy.
"Wanna talk about it?" he whispered, his lips brushing against your skin.
"N-no. It was about my ex and I don't wanna give him any more attention that he doesn't deserve."
"He's not gonna hurt you or your baby. And if he tries I will fucking kill him, so don't worry about him sweetheart." Felix held you a bit more tightly, but was still careful with your tummy.
"Lixie. I love you." you kissed his hand as your fingers entwined and he smiled.
"I love you too, bubby. More than you know."
And with that you fell asleep in Felix's safe embrace.
After that night, you had a hard time falling asleep alone; Felix's body warmth and his comforting presence lulled you to sleep so you sneaked into his bed.
Eventually, Felix told you that you can just sleep in his bed freely every night and you were more than happy to do that.
He loved having you close, but there was a battle inside him, having to resist the craving he had for you was harder than he thought it'd be. Especially when he'd wake up in the morning and watch you sleep so soundly.
It was one of those morning where he woke up first and watched you. Your belly was bigger now along with your breasts and Felix thought you looked adorable. He was admiring you, how strong you are, after everything your ex put you through and left you alone with a baby you were taking it so well. You never complained about anything, even if you were in pain but Felix knew you too well so you couldn't hide it from him.
He wanted to make your pregnancy as comfortable as he could, the thought of you suffering made his chest hurt. Felix caressed you gently as he thought about you and how much he loves you. He couldn't help himself, the emotions that have been building up even more now that you were here and so vulnerable with him started overflowing his heart, traveling through his veins and spreading through his body.
Warmness enveloped him as his cheeks burned and he leaned in, pressing gentle kisses on your cheek, down to your jaw and neck.
You stirred a little but didn't wake up as his lips touched your skin, his hand caressing your belly.
"L-Lixie?" you muttered, still half asleep.
"Bubby." Felix grabbed your face as you turned to look at him, your eyes fluttering open just in time when he leaned down and pressed his lips on yours. You gasped a little, but still kissed back as he moved his plump lips against yours.
Your heart picked up speed and you were shocked that he was kissing you out of nowhere but at the same time it was so comforting and sweet to feel his lips against yours. Felix started letting go of everything he held back, his hands slowly sliding on your arms down to your waist and belly before resting on your hips.
He licked at your lips with his tongue and you let him in, your entire body burning up. You haven't been touched passionately since forever and being pregnant meant you were extra sensitive plus it was Felix. He was your everything.
He overwhelmed you with his scent, his warmth, his touch and you melted into the sheets as his tongue massaged yours, his hands grabbing at your plushy thighs.
You gasped for air once he leaned away, looking at you with hooded eyes.
"Lixie, w-what..."
"Shh, bubby. Will you let me worship you?" he licked at his lips as his darkened eyes ran all over your body, lingering on your breasts.
"B-but... My body doesn't look the best right now. Pregnancy did things to me like stretchmarks a-and-"
"Y/n, you look fucking beautiful. Let me show it to you." he persisted and you nodded, your heart skipping a beat in excitement.
Felix leaned down to kiss you again before his lips traveled to your jaw and neck. He licked at your sensitive spot, biting the skin and sucking on it, eliciting a small moan out of your lips.
His hands slid up to cup your breasts and you whimpered as he squeezed gently, running his thumbs on your sensitive nipples.
"Wow." he lifted up and stared at them, pressing them together and you chuckled. Felix's face became red as you looked at him intently while he played with your nipples.
He gripped the end of your shirt and you nodded so he took it off, his mouth practically watering at the sight of your body. You were left only in your panties and he could already see a wet patch appearing on them.
Felix stared at you making you feel self-conscious for a moment, your arms coming up in an attempt to hide yourself.
"Don't hide, bubby. You look perfect." he gave you a small smile, his hands on your breasts again.
"Lixie." you whispered as your breath got caught in your throat.
"Mm, they're so big." he leaned in closer to your chest. "Please." he whimpered as he massaged them gently.
"Okay. Just be gentle." you said quietly.
"Of course." he said before running his tongue over your sensitive bud.
You whimpered, instantly feeling a wave of hotness run through your body, your pussy dripping and soaking your already damp panties. Felix wrapped his pretty lips around your nipple and started sucking, his eyes fluttering shut in delight as he moaned around you.
You were getting incredibly wet, probably because of your hormones, you were more turned on than ever, your pussy throbbing for to be touched.
"L-Lix." you whined as he gently kissed your breasts, alternating between massaging them and sucking on them.
His hands slid over your belly and he smiled at you.
"You're so beautiful. And strong. You know that?" he said and your eyes watered.
"Stop praising me, I'm gonna cry." you answered, feeling sensitive everywhere.
"If it's happy tears then they're welcome." Felix pressed a kiss on your belly as he rubbed your thighs, his fingers tracing your stretchmarks.
"Is this okay?" he asked and you nodded.
He looked at your bump, almost going cross-eyed from the closeness of it and you stifled a laugh.
"Sorry baby, close your eyes and ears now." he grimaced and you let out a chuckle.
"Gotta make mommy feel good." Felix smirked at you, his hand coming closer to you panties.
He ran his middle finger on your folds and you whimpered, shivering instantly.
"So wet for me, hm?" he looked smug and your legs shook for a moment as you nodded.
"Take them off, please." you whined quietly.
"Anything you want, my sweetheart." Felix said before hooking his fingers in your underwear and sliding it down. He threw it somewhere behind him, his eyes fixed on your pretty pussy.
His brows furrowed as he brought his finger between your folds, going up and down slowly, spreading the wetness on your clit and pressing into it in circular motions. You were so sensitive that you couldn't contain your moans or your middle chasing his touch and Felix observed you, how quickly you were unraveling because of his touch.
"Can I taste you, bubby?" he gave you his puppy eyes and you giggled.
"Sure." you could never say no to that face.
Felix leaned in, the tip of his tongue licking at your clit immediately and you moaned loudly, your hand flying to his hair. He groaned when you gripped the blonde strands, encouraging him to taste you further. He let his tongue slip between your folds as he closed his eyes, enjoying your pussy like it was his last meal ever.
Your legs were shaking, automatically trying to close around his head which you couldn't even see properly because of your bump. You gripped his hair harder as you lifted up a little to see his face, his eyes closed as he kept moaning into you, looking all blissed out giving you pleasure like that.
It made you even more wet to see him enjoying it, his nose brushing against your clit perfectly as he made out with your pussy, pushing his tongue as deep as it can go, fucking you with it while he gripped your thighs.
"I'm- I'm close!" you whimpered, pulling on his hair harshly and making his eyes roll back in his head.
"Cum for me, bubby." Felix groaned, his deep voice even deeper in his arousal as he kept devouring you.
"L-Lix! Lixie!" you almost pulled all his hair out as you gripped hard, your legs closing around his head while you painted his face in your release.
Felix loved it, loved that he made you feel so good that you fell apart against him.
"Mm..." he lapped you up as you shook from your intense orgasm.
"Need more." you whispered, feeling like you were out of your mind in that moment.
"Of course, beautiful. Tell me what you need." Felix hovered over you, ready to make any wish you have come true.
"Y-your fingers." you moaned and he smirked, bringing the tips of his fingers on your folds.
"My fingers? How many?"
"Two." you answered quietly as he kept smirking.
"As you wish." Felix ran them on your wetness before slowly pushing them in. You moaned, gripping at the sheets instantly as you took in the way he looked, all disheveled and worked up from tasting you. A shiver ran down your spine as he pushed in, your pussy taking his fingers with no resistance.
"Fuck, what a good girl you are." Felix groaned as he started moving his fingers inside you, the wet sounds made your ears red in embarrassment.
"Oh you like that?" he smirked as you clenched around him. "You like being called a good girl?"
"Yes." you moaned out, pushing up into his hand as he started fucking you faster, the tips of his fingers finding that special spot quickly.
"What about my good girl?" he emphasized, making you clench around him yet again so he sped up, the force of his arm making you shake.
"Y-yes! Oh my god!" your legs shook as he started quickly flicking his fingertips over your clit while pounding into your sweet spot.
You were starting to see stars as you moaned loudly, and Felix leaned in to suck on your nipple, making it the last straw before you clenched around him and squirted all over his hand.
"Oh." you gasped as Felix looked at you.
"That's so hot." he groaned.
"Lixie, please." you felt like your mind was gone and all you could think about was his cock filling you up.
"Mm?"
"Please, fuck me." you gripped at his arm and he chuckled.
"Never thought I'd hear my sweet bubby say something so dirty." he chuckled and you smacked his arm, feeling annoyed and needy.
"Never thought this could happen but here we are." you said, pulling him closer with your legs.
Felix chuckled as he took off his underwear, now completely naked and you looked down, mouth watering at the sight of his pretty dick, all hard and leaking just for you.
He saw the way you were looking at it so he pressed his tip on your folds, massaging them a little before slowly pushing his tip in.
"Ah!" you moaned, gripping at the sheets as Felix stretched you, slowly filling you up until he bottomed out.
"You feel perfect around me, bubby." Felix groaned as he leaned down to kiss you, making you taste yourself on his lips and tongue.
Your legs wrapped around him and you brought him as close to you as you could.
"Just be careful." you whispered and he smiled, caressing you face as he looked at you lovingly.
"Always." his hands slid down to your hips as he leaned up and started moving inside you slowly, dragging his cock against your velvety walls and making you feel every inch of him claiming you.
Felix hated the fact that your ex had you like this when he didn't deserve to have you at all. He hated that it was your asshole ex who gave you a baby instead of him, the ultimate connection between two lovers.
But when Felix looked down at your face, the way you stared up at him like he hung the stars in the sky, little moans escaping your lips as you gripped at his arms, your tits jiggling with every movement of his hips and your cute baby bump, his heart softened.
He was going to love this baby as if it was his own.
Felix continued fucking you, making you cum three more times as you shook from overstimulation, begging him to just cum inside you.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his cock twitching at the thought.
"Well, I'm already pregnant, we're clean and it's not harmful so yes." you said as he slowed down, trying to keep himself sane.
"Fuck, you really want my cum inside you, hm?" he gripped your hips as he fucked you faster and your pussy clenched around his length.
"Yes- please!" you almost screamed out, your legs holding him in a death grip as he drilled his cock into your fucked out pussy.
"You're so cute like this. But I still wish I could breed this sweet little pussy." he groaned and you gasped.
"Felix!" you couldn't hold it in, squirting around his length as he grunted and fucked you harder.
"Fuck, you like that, huh?" he grabbed your breasts, both of you losing your minds completely.
"Ah yes, please breed me Lixie!" you begged and that was enough to push Felix over the edge as he spilled his hot seed inside you.
You dug your nails into his arms as the two of you rode your high together. Felix slowly pulled out of you, the sight of you laid out under him with his cum dripping out of your spent pussy made him grunt.
"So pretty." he ran his fingers on your folds, gathering his cum and pushing it back in.
"S-sensitive." you whimpered and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them to his lips as he licked at them.
"Wait a sec." Felix then got up as you stared at him, your entire body tingling in bliss. He came back with a warm wet cloth to clean you up, smiling at you the entire time as he kept caressing your soft skin.
"W-what now?" nervousness washed over you and Felix giggled as he tossed the cloth aside before leaning over you, his hands cupping your cheeks.
"I love you, that's what." he said, rubbing his nose against yours.
"I love you too, Lixie but... the baby, I don't wanna be a burden to you." suddenly your eyes teared up as sadness washed over you. "It's not even your responsibility to care about my baby."
He quickly shook his head, running his thumbs on your cheeks and catching your tears.
"You and your baby will never be a burden, because I love them as if they were mine. Maybe it's not my responsibility, but it's my pleasure." he said as he pressed gentle kisses on your lips.
"R-really? You wanna help me raise my baby?" your lips trembled as more tears raced down your cheeks.
"Of course, I wanna be here for you and the baby one hundred percent. I- I've always loved you, y/n. I beat myself up every day for not stepping in when your ex was basically holding you captive and abusing you."
"It's not your fault, Lix. I was dumb and naive, I was blind. He fed me sweet lies and I believed him, there was nothing you could say back then that would make me leave. I was stuck." you sat up, grabbing his hands in yours.
"I still feel like I should've protected you." he sighed.
"You're here now." you reassured him with a genuine smile and he searched your eyes for a moment before his face broke into the signature smile that reaches his eyes and warms up your soul.
"I am. And I don't plan on going anywhere." Felix leaned in to kiss you lovingly before pulling you into a hug, his hand caressing your head soothingly.
"I'm scared, Lixie." you whispered as you held onto him.
"Of what?" he asked as he kissed your temple.
"All of this. The baby, I'm almost half-way through my pregnancy and they're coming soon. I'm actually gonna be someone's mom."
"You're gonna be a wonderful mom, bubby. And you won't be doing any of it alone, I'm with you every step of the way." Felix said and the dam broke as you started crying again.
"I love you so much, Lixie." you held onto him like he was your lifeline.
"I love you more." Felix said as he kissed you and though you couldn't know exactly how he felt on the inside, you believed him.
Sitting at the doctor's office as Felix squeezed your hand, you anticipated the news you've been waiting to hear for some time now.
"Congratulations, you have a perfectly healthy baby girl." the doctor smiled at you as you gasped.
"Oh." your heart swelled, now you could start making a list of names and imagine yourself with your daughter.
"That's wonderful news! Thank you, doctor." Felix smiled as you sat there speechless, thinking about the precious life growing inside you.
"Are you okay, bubby?" Felix asked as you were silent while walking to his car.
"Just realized this is becoming more real every day. Now I can imagine myself with her, I can give her a name. I'm happy." you concluded and Felix chuckled as he caressed your cheek.
"I'm happy too." he pecked your lips. "How about we go on a date to celebrate tonight?"
"Sure, I'd love that." you nodded with a smile.
Felix and you have been officially dating for a few weeks now, and you felt so safe and relaxed with him, craving his presence more and more every day.
Of course he took you out on dates, the two of you took romantic strolls in the park, bringing some food to have a picnic there, you went to the movies and sat in the love seat, cuddling the entire time and hit the best cafés in town but you never went on a fancy date.
You had one pretty dress you were saving up for a nice occasion, it hung in the back of your closet in the guest room. You had no idea if you could even put it on now but you were willing to try.
Luckily the material was stretchy and you only filled it up more, your breasts almost spilling out of it and you chuckled to yourself, knowing Felix will definitely appreciate the sight.
"Bubby, are you ready?" you heard him yell from the living room.
"Be right there!" you yelled back, looking at your reflection one more time. You were satisfied with the way you looked, pregnancy glow was a real thing and Felix kept reminding you how beautiful everything about you is every single day, adding on to the smile on your face.
"Oh, sweetheart." Felix's eyes widened when you walked into the living room.
"Is it okay?" you asked, fidgeting with your bag.
"Okay?" he chuckled. "You're absolutely breathtaking." he came closer to you, his hands sliding on your hips to your waist and belly as he caressed it gently.
He smirked suddenly, his hands cupping your breasts.
"Lixie." you chuckled, smacking his arm with your little bag and he laughed.
"Sorry, I just wanna rub my face there." he bit on his lip. "One squeeze?" Felix pouted at you cutely, batting his long eyelashes, the little menace.
"Just one." you warned and he nodded, gripping your breasts as he leaned in to kiss you roughly, his tongue swirling around yours hungrily.
When he leaned back you were breathless.
"Let's go or we will never leave." you chuckled.
"Fine." he whined playfully as the two of you made your way out.
-
Dinner was fun, finally sharing a nice meal out with Felix felt so rewarding as the two of you reminisced of high school and college days.
You realized he was there with you the entire time, he never insulted you, never yelled at you, never made you feel less than, he always made you feel so truly happy, always thinking of your needs and preferences. You've never met a man like Felix and you were thankful to have him in your life.
You wanted to show him how thankful you were as soon as you got home, your hormones were raging lately and you were constantly horny which was fun for the both of you (maybe not for the baby).
Felix was so cute to you, always hovering over you with his adorable smile and silly antics, he was like a little kitten rubbing against you whenever he could.
That was the case as soon as you sat down on the couch, he nuzzled his face between your breasts immediately.
"Mm." he sighed happily, rubbing his cheek against you as he placed his hand on your tummy.
"Having a good time?" you chuckled, caressing his head and he nodded.
"Let me make it even better."
You grabbed his face, bringing his lips to yours as you kissed him. Felix melted into you instantly, his hands on your breasts like always as he squeezed them and played with your nipples gently.
You gripped his hair, leaning his head back as you started kissing his neck and Felix whined deeply, the sound creating vibrations against your lips.
You kept kissing him, your hands roaming on his abs as you pushed them under his shirt, before sliding your hand down and gripping his bulge.
"Y/n." Felix moaned against your lips.
You smirked, leaning back as you unbuckled his pants and slowly slid down to your knees between his legs.
Felix gasped in shock, hands flying to grab your shoulders instantly.
"What are you doing?!"
"Showing you my appreciation." you kept smirking.
"Bubby please, you don't have to do that. I don't want you to kneel if it's uncomfortable or painful."
"Felix. I'm pregnant, not made of glass." you chuckled as you palmed him and you could see him losing his resolve as he melted under your touch.
"F-fine but if it's too much, stop any time. Don't think you have to do that to appreciate me." he gave you a small smirk as he cupped your chin. "It's enough when you lay all pretty for me and let me worship you." he added and you almost moaned out loud as your pussy clenched, slick gathering on your already soaked panties.
"I know but I wanna worship you too." you said, your voice becoming raspy from arousal.
"I won't stop you." he snickered as he lifted his hips so you could strip him.
You licked your lips at the sight of his cock, hooking your arms under his thighs as you brought him closer to the edge of the couch. Felix squealed from the strength you pulled him with, his cock twitching when your breath hit the leaky tip.
You leaned in closer as you wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock, your tongue on his slit, catching the beads of precum and savoring the salty taste of him. Felix held onto the the edge of the couch, nails digging into the material as you swirled your tongue around his tip before wrapping your lips around him. He groaned, his eyes full of lust as he looked down at you and you kept your eyes on him, taking more of his length in and enjoying the feeling of his hardness on your tongue.
Felix was holding back, you saw the way he was biting on his lip, his breaths ragged as he fisted at the couch cover. You slid down more, bobbing your head up and down slowly as you reached out to grab his hand. You placed his hand on your head as you moaned around him, encouraging him to relax and enjoy.
He let out a moan as he gripped your hair, your eyes fluttering shut as you sped up on his cock, fondling his sensitive balls with your hand.
"Mm, y/n." Felix groaned and you looked up at him. His was was flushed, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, his lips swollen because he was biting on them the entire time. Your pussy clenched at the sight of him as you continued sucking on him, determinded to make him cum in your mouth.
"Oh my god, bubby!" Felix exclaimed, his hips moving up on their own accord, his legs shaking as you bobbed your head up and down faster. He pulled on your hair making you moan around him and you gripped his balls, massaging them while your tongue swiped over the vein on his pretty cock.
"I-I'm gonna cum!" he tried to pry you off but you swatted his hand away, your brows furrowed as you whined, sliding down until your nose was buried in his pubes, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat.
"Shit!" Felix twitched, groaning loudly as he spilled his hot seed down your throat and you swallowed every single drop.
You leaned back, releasing his dick with a pop and pressing a little kiss on the tip as you caressed his thighs.
"Give me a sec." he leaned back on the couch, breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut a few times in an attempt to come to his senses.
"You okay?" you giggled.
"Ruined. But perfect. Thank you for that." he sat up, grabbing your face and caressing your cheeks.
"You're amazing, you know that?" he added and you chuckled.
"I know. Now help me get up." you said and he gasped, quickly scrambling to stand up.
"Are your knees okay?" Felix panicked immediately and you smiled at him.
"They're fine, the rug is soft." you answered and he let out a breath.
"Good. Now, let's go to our room so I can return the favor." he smirked.
-
"We should buy some baby stuff soon." Felix said as he caressed you. You were lying on your side, the only comfortable position now, a pillow between your knees as Felix spooned you.
"Mhm. Maybe we could go shopping tomorrow."
"Yes. I was thinking... We can make the guest room into a baby room." he said, pressing a kiss to your neck.
You turned slightly to look at him, your heart fluttering.
"Really? You would do that?" you asked, your eyes teary instantly.
"I would do anything for you and your baby." he whispered with a sweet smile on his face.
"Our baby." you whispered back and his eyes widened for a moment before he chuckled happily.
"I love you so much, y/n." he kissed you gently.
"And I love you, baby." he added, sliding down to kiss your belly as you giggled.
"We love you too, Lixie."
Entering your third trimester, you were a mess. The mood swings were strong and you felt so emotional all of the time and that coupled with the pain in your body made you cry one afternoon while Felix was at work.
You kept thinking about him and how sweet he was to you, how much he loved you and how he always put you and your baby first. You thought about your daughter and how she will be in your arms soon, your mind spinning with negative thoughts of what could go wrong an if you'll even be able to handle this.
"I'm home!" you heard Felix come in after some time but you didn't want to move.
"Bubby?" Felix searched for you, he heard sniffles coming from your room and his heart squeezed inside his chest.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he approached you cautiously as you looked up at him all teary-eyed.
"I'm scared." you whispered and he was by your side instantly. You sat up and he wrapped his arms around you, soothing you as he caressed your hair.
"I don't know if I will be able to do this. If I'm fit to be a mom. Like what if she doesn't love me?" you whimpered and Felix looked at you, softly wiping your tears away.
"Of course she will love you, you're her mommy. And you will be the best mommy ever, I'm not just saying that because I love you, it's a fact."
"I don't deserve you." you cried harder and Felix shushed you immediately.
"Yes you do, bubby. We were made for each other. I don't even want to imagine my life without you. I've wanted this for so long, to be with you and to be able to call you mine. I've always dreamed of having a family with you and maybe this isn't the most regular way to start one but you know I love her like she is my own daughter." Felix said, his hands on your belly. "Oh, she's kicking."
"Yes, into my ribs." you said, both of you chuckling then. "You really mean all that?"
Felix smiled suddenly, sliding down to his knee and you gasped as your eyes widened.
"Lixie, what are you doing?" your heart started beating fast.
"This is not how I wanted to do it, I wanted to make it romantic with a ring and all." he started. "But, I can't wait anymore. I know we started dating only a few months ago but I've loved you since the day I laid eyes on you and maybe even before, in some other life. So, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"
Your heart skipped a beat as fresh tears slid down your cheeks.
"Oh, Lixie." you grabbed at him. "Yes, a million times yes!" you said and he laughed happily, his eyes filled with tears too.
"I love you." you said in between the sweet kisses he showered you with.
"I love you, bubby."
"I just feel bad sometimes, you're doing all this for me and I'm not even working or doing anything to help out." you said and Felix scoffed.
"Working while pregnant? Not on my watch, bubby. You need to rest and focus on our baby. I will do everything else, I enjoy it so don't worry about not helping because the only thing I need is your love. As cheesy as this sounds, it gives me wings and nothing is hard to do when I know you appreciate it." Felix pressed a kiss to your forehead.
"I'm going to cry again." you sniffled, grabbing at his shirt.
"If it's happy tears, I've done well."
-
You decided not to wait anymore and get married as soon as possible, you had no doubts whatsoever in your mind, you knew that Felix was your person just how he was sure that the two of you were soulmates. You had a small wedding with just your family and close friends, keeping it simple due to your pregnancy.
"You look beautiful today." Felix said as soon as you got home after a little celebratory dinner.
"You tell me that every day." you chuckled, plopping down on the couch, making Felix laugh at your cuteness.
He kneeled to help you take your shoes off.
"Are your feet in pain?" he asked and you nodded with a pout. "Don't worry, bubby. I'll give you a massage."
"Come here for a sec." you waved your hand and he stood up before plopping down next to you.
"What's up?" Felix looked at you, a contemplative look on your face and a small smile spreading on your lips.
"I just need a minute to process that we are married now." you said and he chuckled, his hand finding yours, fingers entwined.
"Suits you well. To be Mrs Lee Felix." he smirked, bringing your hand to his lips and pressing a kiss into your skin.
"Don't say it like that." you whined.
"Why?" he chuckled.
"Because I'm already out of my head horny for you." you looked at him. "Hubby." you smirked and he sputtered.
"Let's just go to our room." he wiggled his eyebrows, making you laugh.
"Help me up." you reached your hands towards him and he grabbed them, lifting you and leading you to your room.
Felix helped you strip before he laid you down, his eyes raking all over your body as he took you in.
"I'm gonna worship you for the rest of my life, wifey." he said as he stripped and kneeled between your legs.
"Me too." your breath hitched as soon as he put his hands on you, running them up and down your inner thighs, coaxing you to spread your legs more. His hand slid up to your core, thumb brushing against your puffy clit, making you whimper.
He slid his fingertips on your wet pussy, leaning down to kiss and lick at your nipples.
"Felix." you moaned, hands tangling in his hair, gripping him to ground yourself.
He grunted around your nipple and started sucking on it harder, slowly pushing his fingers iniside you.
"L-Lixie. Can we change the position?" you stopped him and he lifted up immediately with a smile.
"Anything to make you more comfortable, bubby."
You slowly turned on all fours, the only position that was pleasant lately and Felix ran his hands on your back.
"You okay, love?" he asked, pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder.
"Mhm." you leaned back into him, his cock brushing against your skin and twitching.
"Someone's eager." Felix smirked behind you, grabbing handfuls of your ass.
"Stop messing around, I'm horny." you whined, your pussy dripping with arousal. He never answered so you were about to turn around but then you felt the tip of his cock on your wet lips.
"Mm." you melted into the bed as he filled you up slowly.
"Like this, bubby?" Felix teased, dragging his cock inside you slowly, one hand on your hip and the other on your back.
"Harder." you said breathlessly.
"Harder, hm?" he gripped your ass, but continued moving his hips slowly.
"Please!" you cried out and he leaned over you to whisper in your ear.
"As you wish." his breath tickled and before you could gather your senses Felix gripped your hips and set a relentless pace, shaking your entire body as his hips slapped into you.
"Oh my god." you gasped, grabbing at the bedsheets while he fucked you into tomorrow.
"My sweet wife." Felix grunted, giving you a little slap on your ass and making your pussy clench.
"I'll give you another baby, you know?" he leaned in to whisper in your ear again, the tone of his voice even lower than usually.
"Ah, yes!" you groaned as he tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled.
"You want that?" his other hand grabbed at your breast, squeezing it harshly.
"Y-yes! Yes!" your mind was foggy and all you could do was agree as you came around him, your pussy gripping his cock.
"You'll be mine forever." Felix practically growled while he gripped at you, fucking you even harder as he chased his high.
"Forever. My husband." you moaned and Felix snapped, whimpering in your ear as he pushed deep inside you, filling you up with his warm cum.
He continued fucking into your slowly as he rode his orgasm, making you cum once again.
When he pulled out you laid on your side with him behind you, and he propped himself on his elbow, peering down at you.
"Are you okay?" he caressed you face as you smiled at him.
"Perfect." Felix kissed you and the two of you cuddled for some time before you decided to clean up.
"You're really thinking about another baby already?" you chuckled when you laid back in bed to sleep and Felix's face became red as he sputtered.
"W-well I want to have a family with you." he said sheepishly and you melted. "Plus, you're so cute when your pregnant." he added with a smirk and you smacked his arm.
"Shut up."
Your baby's arrival was nearing and Felix was doting on you until the end. He cooked for you, gave you massages, prepared you baths, he did everything he could to make this exhausting time as comfortable as it can be.
You had fun together, watching movies and playing videogames from the comfort of your home. Felix wanted you to be happy and feel good about yourself.
He even painted and built the baby's room together with some friends who helped him out and when it was done he proudly showed off his handiwork. You started crying immediately as you were touched and Felix was there to comfort you.
"This is wonderful, Lixie. I love you." you sobbed.
"Love you the most, bubby." he kissed your tears away, like he always did.
-
"God, I want this baby out of me. I can't do this anymore." you whined one day, close to your due date. Everything was ready, your overnight bag, the baby's room and of course Felix, who was buzzing constantly.
"You know sex can induce labor." he smirked at you while you laid on bed together and you threw a pillow at him.
"Anything to get into my panties, hm?"
"What? I just wanna love on my beautiful wife." he looked at you with a smug smile.
"Beautiful?" you scoffed. "I look like a whale."
"A very sexy and alluring whale." Felix said with a serious face and you gasped before bursting out into laughter.
"You're dumb." you nudged him with your foot and he slid closer to you.
"Dumb in love." he smirked as you rolled your eyes at him.
He grabbed your hands in his gently, staring at you adoringly.
The vibe in the room shifted as Felix started kissing your knuckles slowly, while keeping his eyes on yours the entire time.
"You were serious about fucking?" you chuckled.
"Not fucking. Making love to my wife." he smirked as he leaned up to kiss you.
"Cheesy." you chuckled against his lips.
"Only if you're okay with it. If not I will leave you alone. Might cry a little but I'll be fine." he pouted and you giggled.
"I'm okay with it. Just be quick, I wanna nap soon." you said, making Felix laugh.
It was cute, every day spent with you in a domestic setting made his heart overflow with happiness. He had fantasized about being yours for the longest time, never knowing just how happy he would be.
You were happy too, happiest you've ever been. Even though you still had doubts and fears about being a mom, everything was easier with Felix by your side. He gave you the right amount of comfort and support, he loved you more than anyone ever had before.
All the shitty things you went through, your strained relationship with your parents, your horrible ex, the sadness that existed inside you was now exchanged for a happiness you couldn't express in words.
-
Felix was sitting in your room, right in the middle of a game with his friends when you appeared on the doorstep.
"Felix." you said.
"Yeah, bubby? I'll be done in a minute." he didn't turn around, too concentrated on his screen.
"You gotta be done now. My water just broke."
With that, Felix's head snapped in your direction, his eyes widened as he scrambled to get up.
"Guys, gotta go. About to become a daddy." he quickly said into the mic before running to you.
"I'll grab your bag." he said, his voice shaking in panic as you started to feel the pain.
Felix drove to the hospital quickly, probably running over a few red lights.
"I can't do this!" you screamed as soon as you were situated in the hospital.
"Yes, you can bubby! Just hold my hand, okay? Break my fingers if you need to." Felix tried to be encouraging but you gave him a look.
"I'll break more than just your fingers." you threatened before screaming in agony.
Felix screamed with you, mostly because you were actually crushing his hand.
When it was time to push, Felix nearly fainted multiple times, especially when he leaned in to see the baby's head coming out.
"Oh my god." he squealed, the nurses giving him a look as you almost pulled his arm off by yanking him away from the sight.
"Stop looking." you groaned, not wanting him to pass out for real.
Felix concentrated on encouraging you as much as he could and before long, the nurse finally placed your daughter in your arms.
The feelings swirling within you couldn't be explained in mere words as you stared at the life you had created.
"Wow, she's beautiful. She looks just like you." Felix's eyes were wide as he stared at her, his heart swelling inside his chest.
"You wanna hold her?" you asked and Felix swallowed before nodding a little.
"She's so tiny, I'm afraid I'll break her." he gasped when he took her in his arms.
"You won't." you smiled at the sight, Felix holding your daughter and looking at her with so much adoration in his eyes.
You couldn't wait to go home and start your new life, just the three of you, your own little family.
-
The adjusment was hard at first, everything felt surreal and the time was going by too quickly. Your daughter was already almost 5 months old and you were wondering how the hell did all that time pass.
Felix was the most helpful husband you could ask for, everything he promised he'd do weren't just empty words and you were eternally grateful to have him.
One afternoon as you put your daughter into her crib for a nap, a knock came on the door.
Felix was in the living room and he stood up to open it just as you walked in. Both you and Felix were shocked to see your ex boyfriend standing there. You weren't expecting to see him ever again, an uneasy feeling spreading all over your body as your feet got stuck in the floor.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Felix was fuming immediately.
"I- I realized I was wrong. I want to have a family with you, y/n. I've been miserable since you left." he craned his neck trying to look at you but Felix stepped in, standing straight in front of your ex.
"It's a little late for that, buddy." Felix showed the guy his wedding ring with a smirk on his face and your ex gasped.
"You got married? To him?" he scoffed suddenly.
"I suggest you leave now." Felix ignored him as you stood there, still unsure of what to do or say.
"What a slut you are." your ex smirked and Felix snapped, quickly manhandling the bastard down to his knees as he twisted his arm back and placed his foot on your ex's back.
He yelped as you gasped, never seeing Felix this mad.
"Don't talk about her like that, scum. You never deserved her. If I ever see you anywhere near my wife or my baby I will fucking kill you." Felix growled, pressing his foot harder into his back.
"Do you understand?" he pulled on his arm, almost popping it out of place as your ex moaned in pain.
"I understand." he said through gritted teeth.
"Do you really?"
"Felix, it's okay." you intervened, not wanting him to go too far.
"I understand, alright!" your ex yelled annoyingly and Felix finally let him go as he scrambled to get up.
"Fuck the both of you." he spat before leaving and Felix watched him drive away before he turned to you, his expression softening.
"You okay?" he asked after closing and locking the door.
"God, that was so hot." you threw your arms around his neck and Felix's eyes widened as he chuckled.
"Really?" he asked and you let out a laugh as he circled his arms around you, pulling you closer to his body.
"Mhm. My sexy husband." you wiggled your eyebrows as he blushed.
"Does the sexy husband get a reward from his beautiful wife?" he smirked.
"Why of course." you chuckled, leading him to your room.
"Are you sure? We haven't since- you know. I don't wanna hurt you." Felix shook his head quickly.
"I know you'll be gentle." you said, caressing his face and tracing his pretty freckles with your fingertips.
Felix smiled softly at you, leaning in to kiss you sweetly.
"We have only while she naps though." you said as the both of your started stripping.
"Okay quick but gentle." Felix nodded, making you laugh.
You were about to strip completely, when you stopped, biting on your lip.
"What's wrong?" your husband came up to you, his hands running up and down soothingly on your arms.
"My body is completely changed. And well, it could get messy."
"I like messy." Felix smirked and you shook your head with a smile. "You have no reason to be insecure with me. I love you even more than I did before. I admire you so much, you're my everything y/n. And you'll always be sexy to me."
"Felix." your lips trembled as your eyes filled with tears but he was quick to kiss them away. "I love you so much." you breathed out between kisses as his hands traveled under your shirt before he pulled it off.
The way he looked at you erased any insecurity in your mind, Felix was mesmerized, his eyes full of love and lust.
"Lay down for me." he said quietly and you smirked.
"No, I wanna be on top."
"Oh." Felix's cock twitched, straining against his boxers painfully. "Whatever you want, bubby." he licked his lips, no thoughts behind his eyes whatsoever as he kept staring at your full tits.
You pushed him down on the bed, stripping him out of his underwear so you could have all of him on display for you to play with.
You crashed your lips into his before kissing his jaw and his neck, your lips traveling on his skin, touching every precious freckle. Your nipples kept brushing against him and Felix whined, pushing his cock up towards you.
His hand flew to the back of your neck as he brought your face to his, kissing you again.
"Ah!" he groaned when your fingers wrapped around his length, giving him a few pumps as you observed his face, twisted in pleasure.
You hovered over him and he gasped.
"You're so good to me, bubby. I'm so lucky to have you." he whimpered as you ran his tip on your wet cunt.
"I'm the one who's lucky. I get to use this cock whenever I want." you smirked as you pushed the tip between your folds.
"Oh my god." Felix groaned, pushing up towards your heat. "Yes, yes, use me whenever you want!"
You slowly slid down on him and sat still, adjusting to the feeling of him inside you after some time. Felix kept staring at your tits and you smirked.
"You want these?" you grabbed them gently, jiggling them a little and you felt him twitch inside you.
"P-please. Can I- can I taste it?" he gave you his puppy eyes and you clenched at the thought.
"You wanna taste my milk?" you asked and Felix panicked.
"N-no, I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that! I'm sorry if that's weird, you totally don't have to." he sat up a little, his cock brushing against your sweet spot.
"I want you to." you said and he stared at you, his eyes wide.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Come on. Wrap your lips around it." you leaned over him, your breasts in his face and he whined as you dripped around his cock, slowly moving your hips in circles.
"Y/n." Felix moaned before giving your nipple a few kitten licks then wrapping his lips around it.
You gasped as he started sucking greedily, the taste of your sweet milk making him become rock hard inside you. Felix moaned as he swallowed, grabbing at your breast and squeezing it.
"L-Lixie!" you moaned loudly as he flipped you over, fucking into you, his hands on your breasts and lips around your nipple, drinking from you.
He couldn't get enough, fucking you with a semi-fast pace as he kept sucking on your tits. You felt so aroused, your body sensitive and you came, squirting around his cock.
"Fuck, bubby!" Felix licked at his lips, his eyes rolling back as he pulled out, jerking his cock until he came, ropes of white cum landing on your tummy and chest. You pouted at him, grabbing at his arm.
"Why didn't you finish inside?"
"I had to pull out or I'd get you pregnant again." he groaned and you giggled, biting on your lip.
"So what?"
"Baby, don't tempt me." Felix whined and you chuckled. "You should take some time to heal."
"I love that you're so caring but sometimes I wish you were just a little bit inconsiderate." you teased as he brought you into his chest, cuddling with you.
Felix laughed, the sound shaking your body as he held you close.
"Okay, I'll be a bad boy next time and forget to pull out." he smirked.
"Mhm." you smirked back and leaned in to kiss just as your daughter started crying.
"She's awake and hungry." you sat up and Felix kissed your shoulder before leaning his chin on it.
"I might be hungry for something sweet later too." he smirked and you smacked him as he laughed.
"I'm sure you will be."
-
Fall came around and with it all of the pretty colors had painted the leaves, it was your and Felix's favorite sight to see so you decided to go on a little stroll to the park with your daughter.
Felix pushed the stroller as you held onto his arm, taking in the scenery around you and the fresh air smelling of rain about to fall.
"What are you thinking about?" Felix asked.
"You. How happy we are." you smiled as you looked at him.
"I'm so happy." he smiled back sweetly and your daughter fussed a little.
"She's growing so quickly." you sighed wistfully and Felix nodded.
"She is. We can always make another baby." he added and you chuckled.
"I'd love that."
Later that afternoon, the rain poured outside as you sat under a warm cozy blanket with your loving husband and your sweet daughter, safe from any harm. You couldn't imagine a better life than this.
And it was all thanks to Felix loving you and making you love yourself again as the scars on your heart healed one by one.
~taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @schniti-is-in-the-house @eastjonowhere @sona1800 @channiesrightasscheek @justwonder113 @yvettemint @inaribu00 @httpdwaekki @possum-playground @ria-april @yn-x-them @mariahxrrera @halfwinterhalfuniverse
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𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐃 ᯓ★ 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐙
précis: you and nicholas fell apart, the two of you simply wanted different things. months later, you’re sure about wanting one thing in common.
a/n: hey! i’m back, i’m very sorry for my absence, i do have a ton of responsibilities and unfortunately took a lengthy break but i’m working on a ton of writes for all of you!
warning: +18, minors dni, penetrative sex, creampie, sexual praise, overstimulation, unprotected sex
enjoy!
The relationship between you and Nicholas is strained.
When you were together in your early twenties, it felt like everything was possible. Until it wasn’t. You wanted the whole picture: house, rings, maybe a kid someday. Nicholas? He wanted out. Out of your tiny apartment. Out of your careful plans. Out into the world where he could be whoever the hell he wanted. And he got it. That bastard climbed the ladder so fast it was dizzying.
The breakup wasn’t even dramatic. Just him sitting at the edge of the bed, running his stupid hands through his stupid messy hair, sighing like it physically hurt him to talk.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he’d said, his voice low but clear, like it had already been rehearsed.
You stared at him, dumbfounded, because what the actual fuck. “Do what?”
“Play house.” He looked up then, those half-lidded brown eyes unreadable, his jaw locked tight. “You deserve someone who… I don’t know. Gives a shit about marriage and brunch and—whatever. That’s not me.”
And that was it. He left you like that—angry, confused, and clutching onto your shared dreams like a sucker.
Months later, you were doing fine. Or fine enough. Until the call came. A sleek-sounding assistant from some hotel agency left a voicemail, sweetly confirming your reservation for the weekend. Which was hilarious because you didn’t make one.
Except you had. Well, Nicholas had. Back when you were together. It was supposed to be this grand romantic getaway, but he’d apparently forgotten to cancel it. You debated ignoring it. But curiosity is a real bitch, and the idea of lounging in a fancy-ass suite alone? Tempting.
You didn’t expect to see him there. Which is why, when the elevator doors opened to reveal Nicholas Chavez—tan skin, broad everything, and wearing a wrinkled t-shirt like it was designer—you screamed. Not in terror, but pure, unfiltered what the fuck.
“What the hell are you doing here?” you yelled, wide-eyed, already regretting every life choice that led you to this moment.
He stared at you like you were the weird one, his eyebrows lifting just a fraction. “What am I doing here? This was my plan!” His voice was still annoyingly calm, with that slight Cuban lilt that came out when he was caught off guard.
“Your plan?” You jabbed a finger at his chest—hard. “Your dumbass forgot to cancel this, so they called me!”
He blinked, slowly, because of course he was the kind of guy who could take a verbal beatdown without flinching. “Fuck,” he muttered finally, rubbing the back of his neck.
And just like that, the tension cracked. You both laughed, loud and stupid, because it was ridiculous. You hated him, but also… you didn’t. Because beneath the stoic, sarcastic exterior was the same guy who once wanted to take you here. Maybe just for a moment, you could remember that. Or maybe you’d just spend the weekend screaming at each other. Either way, it was already too late to back out.
The laughter died off, but the awkwardness lingered like a bad smell. You couldn’t quite figure out what to do next. Storm past him? Push him out of the elevator? Or just turn back and get the hell out of there? Nicholas stood there, leaning casually against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest like he had all the time in the world. His half-lidded eyes scanned your face—always calculating, always trying to figure out what move you were going to make before you even knew yourself.
“So,” he said finally, voice low and calm, “you gonna stand there all day, or are you coming in?”
You blinked. “Coming in? Are you serious right now?”
He shrugged, that lazy smirk creeping onto his annoyingly perfect face. “Look, I’m not going to fight you for the room. I forgot to cancel it. That’s on me. But if you’re here, you might as well enjoy it.”
“What a gentleman,” you muttered, brushing past him into the suite.
The place was ridiculous. Plush carpets, floor-to-ceiling windows with a view of the city that looked like it belonged in a movie. And the bed? Huge. Like, offensively huge. Of course Nicholas would have booked a place like this. He always had a knack for things that looked effortless but cost a fortune.
“You seriously came here alone?” you asked, turning to face him.
He was leaning against the kitchen counter now, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone. He wasn’t looking at you, just scrolling through his screen like he couldn’t be bothered. “Yeah. Why?”
You let out a disbelieving laugh. “Because this was supposed to be a romantic trip. What were you gonna do? Have a candlelit dinner for one?”
He finally looked up, his expression flat. “I don’t see the point in wasting a good reservation just because we broke up.”
“Jesus, Nick.” You shook your head, dropping your bag onto the nearest chair. “You’re unreal.”
“Thanks,” he said, deadpan, before tossing his phone onto the counter and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. “Want one?”
You glared at him. “What I want is to not be stuck in a luxury hotel suite with my ex-boyfriend.”
“Yeah, well,” he cracked the cap off his water and took a swig, “life’s full of disappointments.”
You hated him. You really did. Or at least you wanted to. But then he went and did that thing—where his voice softened, just a fraction, and his eyes, half-lidded and calm, gave you that unreadable look that always made your stomach flip.
“Look,” he said, leaning against the counter, his tone quieter now. “We can fight all weekend if you want. Or we can just… not. Your call.”
You wanted to fight. God, you wanted to yell at him, to drag up every shitty thing he ever did, every late-night argument, every time he’d brushed you off with that maddening stoicism. But standing there, looking at him—broad shoulders, messy hair, tired eyes—you realized you didn’t have the energy to.
“Fine,” you muttered. “Truce.”
“Truce,” he echoed, raising his water bottle in a mock toast.
The first few hours were… weird. You avoided each other, mostly. You hung out in the living room while he stayed in the bedroom, and for a while, it almost felt like you weren’t sharing the space at all. But, of course, that didn’t last.
It was late—almost midnight—when you wandered into the kitchen for a snack and found Nicholas sitting at the counter, scrolling through his phone again. He looked up when you walked in, his brown eyes sharp even in the low light.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked, his voice low and rough, like he hadn’t spoken in hours.
You shrugged, opening the fridge. “Too quiet.”
He chuckled softly—just a huff of air through his nose. “Ironic, coming from you.”
“Shut up,” you shot back, grabbing a bottle of wine and holding it up. “Want some?”
He tilted his head, considering. “Sure. Why not.”
You didn’t expect it, but the two of you ended up sitting on the floor of the suite, leaning against the couch, passing the bottle back and forth like a couple of college kids. And for the first time in months, it didn’t feel strained. It felt… easy.
“Do you ever think about it?” you asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.
He turned to look at you, his expression unreadable. “Think about what?”
“Us,” you said, waving the bottle vaguely. “What happened. Why it went to shit.”
He didn’t answer right away. Just stared at the floor, his jaw tightening. “Yeah,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “I think about it.”
“And?”
He let out a long breath, running a hand through his messy hair. “And… I don’t know. Maybe I fucked up. Or maybe we just wanted different things.”
You frowned, staring at him. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?”
He met your gaze then, his brown eyes soft but guarded. “What do you want me to say? That I regret it? That I wish I’d stayed? I don’t know if I do. But I know I didn’t handle it right. And I know I hurt you. For what it’s worth… I’m sorry.”
It wasn’t much. But it was something. And for now, that was enough.
The next few days unfolded like an awkward dance neither of you really wanted to be a part of, but here you were, stuck in this stupid hotel suite, both pretending it wasn’t all too familiar. The truce held, but it was fragile. There was an air of tension that lingered in every room, especially when the two of you were alone. Every glance was a little too long, every word a little too sharp, and yet neither of you could walk away from it. There was an undeniable pull, like the universe was mocking you for still being tied to each other in some way.
One night, after an uncomfortable dinner in the hotel’s overpriced restaurant, you found yourself back in the suite. Nicholas was sprawled on the couch, his arms thrown behind his head, casually flipping through channels like you didn’t just have a conversation that felt like two strangers trying to fill the empty space between them. You, on the other hand, were too wound up, pacing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. The city lights twinkled below, casting a faint glow that made the whole room feel surreal.
“You’re gonna wear a hole in the carpet if you keep pacing like that,” Nicholas muttered, not even looking at you. His voice was as disinterested as ever, but you could hear that hint of amusement in his tone, like he enjoyed getting under your skin.
You shot him a glance, your eyes narrowing. “I’m thinking, alright? Can’t I think without you making sarcastic comments?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, the sarcasm oozing from every word. “I’ll stop. Wouldn’t want to ruin your moment of clarity.”
You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to snap back. Instead, you took a deep breath, walking to the other side of the room and standing still for a second. “Why are you here?” You asked it before you could stop yourself, and the question hung in the air, heavier than it should have been.
Nicholas didn’t flinch, just let out a sigh, his eyes flicking to you briefly. He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he just stared at you like he was sizing you up. His lips twisted into that usual smirk, but this time it wasn’t quite as mocking. There was something else in it—something real, maybe even vulnerable, but he hid it behind his usual stoic expression.
“Why do you think I’m here?” His voice was quieter now, not the usual sarcasm laced with a challenge.
Your stomach flipped. You hated how easily he could do that to you—make you feel like he was reading you from the inside out, even when he said nothing. “I don’t know,” you muttered, crossing your arms, trying to look indifferent. “I guess I thought you didn’t give a shit about me anymore.”
Nicholas sat up then, his broad shoulders blocking the light from the TV. “I never said that.” His voice was low, serious, and when you looked at him again, he was closer. Closer than before, but it wasn’t an invitation to fight. It was something else.
“Look, we… we fucked this up, okay?” he said, his eyes softening just enough that you could see the regret hidden under that layer of arrogance. “I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, but I didn’t want to lose you, either.”
You swallowed hard, unable to speak, because for all his quiet moments and sarcastic jabs, that admission hit you harder than you wanted it to. “Don’t,” you whispered, the words coming out hoarse. “Just don’t… make it worse.”
He was quiet for a long moment, and you both stood there, inches apart but still worlds away. Then, in a rare moment of self-awareness, Nicholas moved slowly, his hand reaching out as if to make sure you wouldn’t pull away.
And then he kissed you.
It wasn’t some sudden, passionate moment where everything exploded. No, it was slow, careful, as if he was waiting for you to pull back, to shove him away, to tell him to fuck off. But you didn’t. Instead, you stood there, letting his lips press softly against yours, a little tentative at first. His lips were warm, surprisingly soft, and for a second, you forgot how much you hated him. Or maybe you didn’t hate him. Maybe, in that moment, it was just two people who couldn’t figure it out, but still needed each other.
When he pulled away, it was barely an inch, his breath mingling with yours. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. You could feel the weight of his gaze on you, the softness of his hand still resting on your arm, the warmth of his body so close.
“Still mad at me?” he asked quietly, his voice rougher now, like the moment had undone something in him.
You didn’t answer immediately, just looked at him—his messy brown hair falling over his forehead, his sharp jawline, and those goddamn brown eyes that always seemed to see right through you. You wanted to hate him for making it so hard, for fucking up so many times. But you couldn’t. Not when he was here, looking at you like maybe he was finally seeing you for the first time in a long time.
“No,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “But you’re still a fucking asshole.”
He smirked at that, and it felt like a little bit of the tension between you two broke, just enough to let you both breathe. “I’ll take it,” he said, leaning in again, but this time it was different. There was no hesitation. No more apologies. It was just you and him, in this stupid hotel room, with no answers but maybe something else—something neither of you could deny anymore.
And when his lips met yours again, it wasn’t slow this time. It wasn’t careful. It was urgent, real, like neither of you knew what the hell you were doing but were too tired to care anymore.
“This okay?” He murmured against your lips, his hands gently tangling in your hair. “Mhm,” You whine quietly, your legs wrapping around his waist as he picked you up. He carried you to that behemoth of a bed and set you down before getting on top of you, careful not to smush you. “You sure you’re okay with this.” He says, asking, but confirming with statement at the same time. You nod in response, and he gently continues, grabbing your jaw, moving your head upwards to pepper kisses on your neck.
Your body instinctively responds, your arms wrapping around him as you let out the softest, faintest moans at the sensations on your neck. You hear that familiar unzip of his jeans that you so desperately missed. You work at taking off yours, shimmying slightly out of your tight jeans before discarding the fabric onto the floor. You do the same with your blouse.
You watch as Nicholas was only in boxers, having already taken off his jeans and shirt. You could see the tent in his boxers, basically throbbing for escape from the tight fabric. You gently reach out, your hand hesitant, but it settled on the thick bulge. Nicholas’ body went taut, his hands steadying himself on both sides of your head. “You okay?” You whispered, your hands gently working his bulge. He just nodded quickly before swallowing thickly, his eyes closing as your hand went lower, cupping his clothed sac. He exhaled softly, his bottom lip twitching slightly with the effort of holding back a soft moan.
Your hand moved up, falling onto the hem of his boxers. You looked up at him, silently asking for permission. He opened his eyes before looking down at you through half-lidded eyes before nodding a soft yes.
You gently peel his boxers down, his dick jumping out and immediately slapping against your bare thigh. He looked down in between your bodies, and so did you. You hadn’t seen his bare body in a while. His length was really girthy, at least 10 inches long, veiny, mushroom-tipped, throbbing, and aching to be inside of you. His tip wept pre-cum, it needed its release. Well — he did.
He moved your panties to the side of your thigh with his thumb, looking down at your bare, leaking pussy. He looked up at you before slowly grinning, “You’re beautiful.” You shake your head modestly, “Sure.” He rolls his eyes at your humility, “Just accept the damn compliment.”
His thumb gently touched your little bundle of nerves, gently rubbing it in slow circled, eliciting a small whimper from you. He knew how to make you twitch. Whimper. Whine. Shake. Cum. Your legs trembled as he worked your clit with his fingers, his middle finger finding your neglected, small hole. “Feels like it shrunk. You haven’t had sex in a while, have you?”
“Not since you, no.” You muttered through strained breaths, and pleasured winces. “Mm.” He hummed softly, adding more pressure, but not enough. On purpose. You were whimpering needily, your whines being more pleading than they needed to. He spoke after a moment, “Don’t worry, gonna get what you want.”
“Eventually.”
You frowned slightly, but you were too breathless to protest. You whined as he pulled his hand away, but he tutted softly. “Patience, pretty girl.”
He reached down, his hand finding his throbbing cock. He pulled you closer to him with his other hand, comfortably settling himself in between your legs. “Comfy?” He asked, and you nodded in response. He slowly stroked his tip along your slit, eliciting a gasp from you. He did that almost-grin, half-lidded eye combination that made your stomach flutter. He kept his dick positioned correctly with his right hand, and he was gently holding you down, steadying you, with his left. “I’m gonna start slow.” He muttered breathily.
“Okay,” You gasped, mentally preparing yourself for the stretch you’re about to feel. You hadn’t felt him inside of you for months, so this was probably going to hurt a bi—
“Shit…”
You winced quietly as you felt his thick tip slide inside of your pussy, the sensation overwhelming. You writhed under him, as if trying to get away, but you really didn’t want to get away. It was just hard to take it. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here,” Nicholas lulled, continuing to slowly ease himself inside of your pussy. His goal was to be buried to the hilt inside of you, and he was going to achieve that.
He began thrusting into you with more confidence, yet purposefully making them sloppy and slightly uncoordinated. His sole objective was making you feel good. And he was doing a damn good job at it. You were practically drooling at this point, his shaft sliding in and out of your wet cunt at an almost rapid pace. He was forcing himself to fit. He hit spots that were making you cry out in pleasure, gasping for air. “Shh, I got you, I got you,” He whispered in between gasps, his balls smacking against your ass with every thrust he made.
The bed didn’t creak once, you’ll give it that. It was a sturdy ass bed. Nicholas was pounding into you by now, working on hitting those spots that made you feel good. Your tiny hole stretches so beautifully as his thick shaft slides in and out, the small, subtle bulge just below your stomach showing just how far he reaches inside of you. His fingers traced circles over your hip, his own hips working on pumping his dick in and out of you. But they were already stuttering.
The room filled with the smell of sex, skin smacking against skin, and the sheets shifting under weight.
You missed those small, subtle whimpers Nicholas made when he was close. They felt like memories you never had the opportunity to make reality more than just a few times. You’re glad you’re reliving it — not just the sex, but what lies deeper. The pure intimacy behind it, what sex really expresses between you both. Being loved again feels… good. If not, great.
Maybe great is an understatement too.
Nicholas huffs heavily as he feels your pussy gripping his cock like a vice, contracting rapidly. He slows down because he can sense the impending release on not just him, but you too. You gasped heavily as you felt your release. Nicholas’ hips stuttered, your legs trembled, and there it was.
Nicholas’ hot seed poured inside of you, not letting any go to waste. He weakly pulled out, sighing softly. He collapsed next to you on the bed, the two of you panting. He slung his arm around your waist before pulling you closer, nuzzling his face into your neck. “Y’know,” You start, still catching your breath, “I’m glad this happened. Us reuniting unexpectedly all because you forgot to cancel a ticket.”
“Huh? Oh. No, I knew you’d come.” Nicholas said after a beat flatly, completely serious.
Well then.
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Pink Hearts & Black Clouds || jjk. — 01
Love me at my lowest, I’ll love you when you’re barely holding on
↠ Pairing : Jungkook x Reader
↠ Summary : Jeon Jungkook is the epitome of a brooding grunge. Moody, distant, and always a little too sarcastic. A grumpy, tattooed college student who barely tolerates anyone… except you. Somehow, the girl who’s a whirlwind of pink hearts and strawberry lipgloss is the one who keeps dear Jungkook on his toes.
But you must admit… behind that gruff exterior, there’s a side of him only you get to see—gentle, caring, and ready to spoil you in his own way. Everyone else may see him as the tough guy with a permanent scowl, but you know better. Jungkook’s heart? It’s all yours.
↠ Genre : established relationship au, college au, grunge!bf x bimbo!gf, angst, fluff & smut
↠ Word count : 3.8K
↠ Warnings : swearing, making out, teasing, exhibitionism (sex in a lecture theatre), unprotected sex, penetrative sex, rough sex, slight dumbification, dirty talk, begging, oral sex (m. receiving), ass smacking, scratching, dom!jungkook x sub!reader, use of pet names, sex on a desk (he hits it from the back at one point), a very moody but flirtatious Jungkook paired with bimbo!oc deserves its own warning :) - I think that’s about it?
↠ A/n : Hi there ; here it is! Chapter 01 of my first series, ‘pink hearts and black clouds’ which I am so excited to share. This story means a lot to me as it explores two completely different personalities finding their way together. With bimbo, sunshine!reader and grunge, grumpy!jk, I hope you enjoy exploring this world as much as I loved creating it. It’s messy, it’s fun, it’s emotional, it’s steamy (at times 👀) and it’s absolutely everything I could ask for! I’d love to hear what you think - your reactions, favourite part, or even anything you’d like to see from them in the future! Feedback / comments are always appreciated. Thank you for giving my story a chance & happy reading 🦢.
↠ Song : ‘Closer’ by Jungkook / ‘Good for you’ by Selena G
❧ Chapter 01 : Lipgloss & Leather
prev. || next || series masterlist || masterlist
A stream of light filters through the wooden, venetian blinds of the lecture theatre windows, slicing through the warm, cinnamon-scented air.
God bless Ms. Choi for her diffusers.
The ambience of the empty theatre is a sharp contrast to the wintry chill that is dancing around outside. The time of season where it bites at your cheeks and refuses to let go. Inside though, the warmth feels like a holiday cocoon, the kind that makes you shed layers and forget the frost clinging to the world beyond your surrounding.
Unfortunately, despite the serene atmosphere, you don’t feel any less distracted.
You are perched in a chair at the back of the theatre, mindlessly playing with your pink glitter gel pen while Jungkook sits on the desk in front of you, legs spread arrogantly, one boot perched on the seat beside yours. The light catches on the silver chain hanging from his neck, a stark contrast to his black t-shirt and ripped dry-denim jeans.
You should be focusing on taking notes for the upcoming midterm, like he told you to do, but instead, your eyes keep wandering back to the powerful man in front of you.
Powerful because he consumes your entire being.
You pout as you swirl a strand of your hair around your finger, oblivious to the smirk curling on Jungkook’s lips as he catches onto your little daydream.
“Not taking notes, princess?” he asks, tone dripping with mockery.
“Erm…” you blink at him, momentarily caught off guard. “I was… thinking?”
Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Thinking. Right. About the syllabus or about how good I look right now?”
Your cheeks flame as he leans forward, chin propped lazily on his tattooed hand. His dark hair falls messily over his face, making him look even more impossibly cocky.
“Both?” you meekly offer, putting down the glitter pen and propping your chin onto your soft hands.
His grin stretches wider. “You’re cute when you lie.”
You smile at the compliment as Jungkook reaches out and grabs the gel pen from the desk, inspecting it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. The sight of his tattooed fingers gripping the sparkly pink plastic makes your heart race.
“Why do you even need this?” he teases, holding the pen just out of reach when you try to grab it back. “It’s ugly, you definitely don’t use it to write anything down and it’s pink.”
Jungkook grimaces, observing the pen as though it’s a foreign object.
You huff and pout harder, crossing your arms. “You said you’d help me study, but all you’re doing is being mean!”
“Mean?” Jungkook cackles, the sound low and gravelly. “Doll, I’m just keeping it real. Someone has to be with you.”
“Ugh, you’re the worst!” you whine, trying again to snatch the pen, but Jungkook is faster. He swiftly moves it behind his back, staring you down with his usual, conceited smirk.
“And yet, here you are. With me.”
“Because you don’t let me leave,” you shoot back, a small huff escaping as you try your best to appear annoyed.
But you aren’t. Not even a little bit.
Especially when Jungkook leans in even closer, his dark eyes scanning your face like he is trying to memorise every detail.
“C’mere,” he says softly, contrasting his suddenly serious expression.
You blink up at him, your heart fluttering. “Why?”
“Just come here, doll. Trust me.”
You hesitate for half a second before leaning forward, and that is all the invitation Jungkook needs to grab your chair and yank you forward, placing you between his legs. Your breath hitches as he cups your face in his hands, the rough pads of his thumbs stroking your cheeks.
“You’re too fucking pretty, you know that?” he murmurs, his voice so low and intimate that it sends a shiver down your spine.
“Jungkook…” You trail off, feeling utterly flustered and ridiculously warm under his intense gaze.
“What?” he questions, cocking his head playfully. “You don’t like compliments? Want me to call you dumb instead? You like that, huh?”
“N-no!” you stutter, and the way he leans in closer makes your head spin.
“That’s what I thought,” he says with a smirk, brushing his nose against yours. “My good girl likes being told she’s pretty.”
Your heart thumps loudly in your chest as his lips find yours, the kiss starting soft but quickly turning hungrier. Jungkook kicks your chair back before tugging you impossibly closer, his hands sliding down to your waist.
“Fuck, you taste sweet,” he mumbles against your lips.
“Strawberry lip gloss,” you utter, still fairly dazed.
He hums appreciatively, a smile now evident on his face. “My favourite.”
Jungkook’s hands slides lower, squeezing your hips as he deepens the kiss. You moan softly when he nips at your bottom lip, his pierced tongue sweeping over it a second later.
The sound of the theatre door creaking open in the distance makes you freeze.
The wind.
“Jungkook!” you hiss, pulling back slightly. “What if someone comes in?”
Jungkook grins, completely unbothered. “Free show?”
“You’re impossible!”
“You love it,” he teases, his lips brushing the corner of your mouth. His hands tug at the hem of your short pink skirt, hiking it up higher as his fingers toy with the edge of your lace underwear.
“Ahh, is this the pair I got you the other day?”
“Jungkook…” you mewl, voice barely above a whisper. You manage a quick nod, before falling to rest your head on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“My doll is always so needy,” he grumbles, his dark eyes locking with yours. “But I don’t mind.”
Jungkook continues to fiddle with your underwear, his hand slipping inside to cup your now soaked sex in his rough hands. “Nice and wet.”
You squirm in his grasp, your cheeks burning as he presses another kiss to your neck, nipping the sensitive skin until you gasp.
“Relax, baby,” he whispers. “I’ve got you, I promise.”
And with that, you give in - like you always do with your lover boy.
“Get on the desk.”
Your heart races as you turn toward the heavy, wooden desk behind you. It feels cold beneath your palms as you hoist yourself up, the sound of your skirt rustling loud in the quiet space. Jungkook watches you intently, his eyes darkening as you settle onto the surface, your legs dangling over the edge.
He steps closer, his hands sliding up your thighs, pushing the hem of your skirt higher.
“Look at you,” Jungkook whispers, his voice dripping with approval. “So pretty. So perfect for me.”
You shiver, your hands gripping the edge of the desk as his fingers trace patterns on your skin. Jungkook’s touch feels electric, sending sparks shooting through your veins.
“J-Jungkook—” you stutter, your voice shaky.
“Shh,” he interrupts, his voice firm but gentle. “Just relax. Let me take care of you.”
Your boyfriend's words send a wave of warmth washing over you, and you let your body sink into the desk as he leans in, his breath hot against your neck. You feel the stubble on his jaw brushing against your skin, the faint scent of his woody cologne filling your senses.
“The way you give in,” he begins, his lips grazing your ear, “is fucking beautiful.”
A soft whimper escapes your glossy lips as his hands move higher, pushing your skirt up to your waist. His fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, and you gasp as he tugs them down, leaving you exposed.
Jungkook is quick to toss them onto his discarded leather jacket draped over the chair beside him. The delicate blush of your pink panties against the rugged, worn leather is a stark contrast that sends your mind spiraling.
“Stunning,” he utters to himself, eyes roaming over your body with a hunger that quickens your pulse.
Why the fuck is this man so hot?
You squirm, cheeks burning with embarrassment, but Jungkook doesn’t give you time to think. Not that there was much going on up there anyway.
His hands grips your hips, pulling you closer to the edge of the desk. He wraps your delicate legs around him, engulfing you in his embrace.
“As beautiful as you look like this,” Jungkook mutters, caressing your cheek, “I need you on your knees.”
You’re quick to comply, gently shoving Jungkook away. He cackles at your eagerness, but deep inside his brooding heart, he feels at awe.
“Open your mouth,” he commands, quick to change personas, voice rough with desire.
Again, you obey without hesitation, your lips parting as he unzips his jeans. His cock springs free, already hard and straining, and your eyes widen as he steps closer, the tip brushing against your lips.
“Suck,” he orders, his tone leaving no room for argument.
You hesitate for only a second before leaning forward, taking him into your mouth. His taste is salty and masculine, making you moan softly as you begin to move your tongue, your lips wrapping tightly around his girthy member.
Jungkook groans, his hand tangling in your hair as he guides your head up and down. “That’s it, doll,” he encourages, his voice thick with pleasure. “Take all of me.”
You sink deeper, gagging slightly as he hits the back of your throat. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you don’t stop, determined to please him.
“Such a good girl,” Jungkook effortlessly praises, his grip tightening in your hair. “You were fucking made for this.”
The words send a jolt of heat straight to your core, and you moan around him, the vibrations making him shudder.
“Fuck,” he curses, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. “I’ll be painting your face with cum if you keep that up.”
You pull back slightly, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Isn’t that what you like?”
Jungkook chuckles darkly, his thumb brushing over your swollen lips. “Not yet, baby. I have other plans for you first.”
Before you can even think of a response, Jungkook pulls you off the floor, spinning you around so your back is pressed against his chest. His hands roam over your body, cupping your breasts through your satin blouse as he nips at your earlobe.
“You’re turn, princess,” he whispers, voice sending shivers down your spine for the umpteenth time this afternoon.
You gasp as his cold fingers find their way between your legs, exploring your already soaked folds. He teases you mercilessly, touch light yet maddening enough that it has you writhing in his bulky arms.
“Please,” you beg, voice trembling with need.
You try to grind against him, but Jungkook’s firm grip stops you from doing so.
“Please what?” he taunts, feigning confusion, breath hot against your neck.
“Fuck me,” you whimper, the words spilling out effortlessly.
Jungkook grins, his teeth flashing in the dim light. “What my pretty doll wants, my pretty doll gets.”
In one swift motion, he lifts you onto the desk, positioning himself between your legs. Jungkook’s cock presses against your entrance, and you yelp as he thrusts into you in one smooth, powerful movement.
”God, why are you so tight?” Jungkook groans, his hands gripping your hips as he begins to move. “I fucked you this morning.”
The sensation, along with the reminder of your earlier shenanigans, is overwhelming and both the stretch and burn send waves of pleasure through you.
You wrap your legs around Jungkook’s slim waist, urging him deeper as he pounds into you relentlessly.
“Harder,” you whimper, your nails digging into his shoulders. “More.”
Jungkook obliges, slamming into you with a force that has the desk rocking against the floor. The sound echoes through the lecture theatre, mingling with your desperate moans and his guttural grunts.
“Could fuck this cunt all day,” Jungkook growls, his pace increasing as he mercilessly hammers his thick cock into you.
You cling to him, body trembling on the edge of release. But just as you’re about to let go, Jungkook pulls out, leaving you gasping and empty.
“No!” you cry, your eyes snapping open to meet his smug grin.
“Not yet,” he warns, voice firm. ��You’re not cumming until I say so.”
You whimper, your body aching with need, but Jungkook isn’t done. He flips you over onto your stomach, hoisting your hips up so your ass is in the air.
“What are you doing?” you ask, your voice muffled by the desk.
“Giving you what you wanted,” he replies casually, his hands spreading your cheeks apart.
And then Jungkook is inside you again, filling you completely as he drives into you with a ferocity that leaves you utterly breathless.
Your sopping pussy lewdly squelches around Jungkook, completely soaking him. The sound turns the pair of you on further.
“Right there!” You mewl, pushing yourself back onto Jungkook, the pressure making you moan uncontrollably.
“Say it,” he demands, his voice rough with exertion. “Tell me who fucks you this good.”
“Y-you,” you stutter, your voice breaking as he hits your g-spot deep inside you. “This drenched pussy is yours.”
“And who do you belong to?” Your boyfriend growls, his hand coming down on your plump ass with a sharp smack.
“I’m yours!” you cry, the pain mixing with pleasure in the most delicious way. “Love the way you fuck me.”
Jungkook smirks, his pace slowing as he leans over you, lips brushing against your ear. “Good girl. Now come for me.”
As soon as the words leave his filthy mouth, your body convulses, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over you as you come undone. Jungkook isn’t far behind, his own release hitting him with a force that leaves him trembling.
The feeling of his cum oozing into you has you wanting to turn around and ride the fuck out of your lover boy.
Jungkook collapses on top of you, his breath hot against your skin as you both struggle to catch your breath.
“You okay, doll?” he asks, his voice softening as he turns you around and carefully seats you on the desk.
You nod, a small smile playing on your lips. “Yeah. I’m- wow.”
Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’re amazing.”
“And you, Bakugo,” you reply, your voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.
Your lover boy grins, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your back. “Round two after lunch?”
The cafeteria hums with energy, alive with the noise of lively chatter and the sporadic clatter of trays hitting tables.
You’re perched on the bench beside Jungkook, a tray of half-eaten chips and an unopened can of Samjin Mango Soda sitting in front of you.
Across the table, Taehyung and Jimin are engaged in a heated debate about Haikyu, their hands waving dramatically as they try to outtalk each other about the anime the two of them are currently rewatching.
Well, truthfully speaking, all of you have been rewatching, but only the two of them are so deeply interested. Maybe Jungkook, but he’d never admit it.
Speaking of Jungkook, he is slouched against the table, one elbow propped up as his thumb scrolls lazily through your phone, staring at pictures you had taken of yourself today.
And he says he isn’t obsessed.
As usual, he hasn’t said much, just the occasional grunt when someone asks him a question. He looks effortlessly intimidating, his black hoodie (that you finally returned) pulled low over his forehead, his iconic silver chain around his neck catching the light and his usual scowl that is always imprinted on his beautiful face.
You, on the other hand, couldn’t be more of a contrast. You’re in your own world, a makeshift beauty station spread out in front of you, next to yours and Jungkook’s shared meal. Your compact mirror is propped against the soda can, brushes and glosses neatly scattered around it.
A soft pout forms on your lips as you reapply a coat of your signature lip gloss, the sticky sheen glistening in the light. You’re blissfully focused, tilting your head to inspect your work like an artist perfecting their masterpiece.
“You’re so wrong,” Jimin says, leaning forward with a look of betrayal. “There’s no way Seijoh vs. Karasuno is better than Shiratorizawa vs. Karasuno.”
“It’s about the emotional stakes, Jimin,” Taehyung replies, sipping his iced tea as though he is a certified anime critic. “Oikawa’s genius mind versus Kageyama’s raw talent? That’s art.”
“Art?” Jimin scoffs. “Bro, real art is Ushijima annihilating them with a spike.”
Taehyung shrugs. “Oikawa’s smugness had more impact than any spike ever could.”
“Who’s Kageyama again?” you pipe up, tilting your head.
Jungkook’s phone, well your phone, lowers an inch as he glances at you, his expression blank. “You can’t be serious. We literally watched an episode yesterday.”
You shrug, completely unbothered by the disbelief in his tone. “I don’t remember the boring ones.”
Jimin nearly chokes on his drink, eyes wide in horror. “Boring?! He’s literally the King of the Court!”
“Don’t,” Jungkook says flatly, cutting off Jimin’s impending rant. “She’ll just start listing the hot ones.”
You grin, batting your lashes at him. “Is that a problem, Koo?”
Taehyung leans back in his seat, smirking. “You’ve got your hands full, don’t you, Koo?”
“I wouldn’t call it that,” Jungkook mutters, though his ears tinge pink. “And don’t fucking call me that.”
Taehyung catches it immediately, raising his brows. “Is that a blush I see, Jungkook? The same guy who nearly broke someone’s nose in basketball last week?”
“Fuck off,” Jungkook grumbles, sliding your phone over to you.
“Bro, you’re whipped,” Jimin adds, his laugh practically echoing across the room.
“No I’m not-”
“You are,” Taehyung interrupts, pointing a chip at him. “It’s so obvious. You’ve got that whole, ‘don’t fucking talk to me’ thing going on, but this one over here bats her fake lashes and you’re folding fast.”
“Hey! They’re real,” you protest, leaning forward and resting your chin in your palms.
You study Jungkook with a teasing smile. “Is that true? Am I your kryptonite?”
His eyes flick to yours, dark and unreadable, but there’s a flicker of something - amusement, maybe, or fond exasperation. Jungkook simply doesn’t answer, just grabbing a chip from the tray and popping it into his mouth.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” you say, your smile widening.
Jungkook rolls his eyes, but it’s half-hearted. He leans back in his seat, stretching his long legs out under the table, and you notice the way his fingers tap rhythmically against his knee. He looks relaxed, but you know him well enough to recognise the effort it takes to hold back a snarky comment.
“He doesn’t even deny it,” Jimin continues, grinning like he’s won something. “You know what? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you’re good for him.”
You blink, caught off guard by the sudden compliment. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees, though his tone is far more mischievous. “You’re like the sunshine to his thundercloud.”
“Lipgloss to his cigarette,” Jimin chimes in.
“Or the idiot to his genius,” Jungkook finishes off, his voice dry as ever.
You gasp, smacking his muscular arm lightly. “I’ll have you know I’m very smart!”
“Name the capital of the United States,” he challenges, barely hiding the smirk tugging at his lips.
“Easy,” you say confidently, shrugging your shoulders. “Hollywood.”
Taehyung and Jimin dissolve into laughter, and even Jungkook can’t hold back the small shake of his shoulders.
“Christ,” he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re unbelievable.”
You pout, confused why the boys are laughing. But, the sight of Jungkook joining in with them has you leaning into his side, grinning up at him. “You still like me, right?”
Jungkook doesn’t reply, but his hand moves to casually rest against the small of your back, his fingers caressing the exposed skin.
And that?
That’s the only answer you need.
You busy yourself with dabbing some extra Dior blush onto your cheeks, the sunlight streaming through the window catching the shimmer within it. Jimin plays with your Ilia mascara, shaking his head as he takes in the rest of your makeup that is scattered around.
Taehyung sees that you’re occupied and smirks, leaning closer to Jungkook. “You defo love it, you’re just too much of a moody shit to admit it.”
“Love what?” Jungkook asks, deadpan, though the tightening of his jaw gives him away.
“Having someone fuss over you,” his best friend teases, motioning his thumb towards you with a grin. “She’s got you wrapped around her finger.”
Jungkook exhales sharply, looking down at the now empty takeaway container in front of him like it’s suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world. “You have nothing better to talk about?”
Your eyes dart to him, catching the faintest hint of red creeping up his neck.
Smiling to yourself, you lean your chin on your palm. “It’s okay, Jungkookie,” you coo softly. “You don’t have to say it. I already know.”
He glares at you, but there’s no real bite to it. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not?” you ask, pouting in innocence. “You love it when I call you that.”
Taehyung and Jimin burst into laughter once again at your audacity.
Jungkook narrows his eyes at them before turning to you. For a split second, his fingers twitch on the table, like he’s about to pull you closer. His gaze softens as it lingers on you - like he’s on autopilot, already halfway to pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
But then he stops.
Clearing his throat, he leans back in his chair instead, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his head like armour. “You’re insufferable and annoying.”
You blink, caught between surprise and amusement. “You almost- you almost did it!”
“What?” he grunts, refusing to look at you.
“You were going to kiss my head.” Your voice is laced with a playful lilt, but there’s a flicker of something tender beneath it. “Don’t worry, Kookie. Next time, you’ll follow through.”
His tongue pokes against his cheek, a telltale sign of his rising frustration - or embarrassment, you can’t quite tell. “Shut up and eat,” he mutters, tugging his hood lower before he shoves a packet of crisps your way.
Jimin and Taehyung howl in laughter, and you can’t help but join them, even as Jungkook mumbles curses under his breath.
Somewhere beneath the gruffness, there’s the faintest quirk of his lips - a fleeting smile that only you seem to notice.
And in small moments like this you conclude that while Jungkook doesn’t give you flowers or grace you with love letters, he gives you something that is endless - pieces of himself: his time, his trust, his unwavering presence, and a love so consuming it feels like forever.
And there we have it! Please do let me know your thoughts ; the support I receive means the world to me 🫶🏻
↠ Taglist : @bangchanwantsmesobad @rklvez @doulcha @starlight-1010 @mimi1097 @khadeeeeej @jkslvsnella @royalguk @gaebestie @iamstilljk @myjungkookthighs @jungshaking @kookiesgiggles @minimoninini @lovejkmilitarywife @pplongoing @pokolunolino @dontcallmeelle @taeisbae13 @ronyiboniyy @nerdycheol @onlyforyoukook @ukandtwme @morosisxx @smwhrinthehaze @thebluegoddess @ramyun-h @remgeolli @minniejim @cherricherryy @avawants2havefun @fr0ggieth1nk @ahgasegotarmy116 @jeeykey @ficluvr613 @deeznutkooks @kookienooki (names in italics could not be tagged).
#jungkook fics#bts fics#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#bts x reader#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#bts series#jungkook series#jungkook drabbles#jungkook oneshots#bts drabbles#bts oneshots#jungkook masterlist#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook fanfics#fic: pink hearts & black clouds
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I Foreigners God
Friends have started playing Gravity Falls in the background of stuff/when I'm anxious
Yes (Writer+big fantasy nerd)
When I'm with friends and I just feel warm and safe and loved
Listen to music+make something
I don't tend to like many candle scents; mild ones
The platonacule
Brand-new fleece pajamas
Hikes with family
Listening to Dimension 20
My stuffed dogs- One I got as a baby, and one my parents found that was identical and bought me when I was 10 or so. It's ears are falling to pieces because I used to chew on them, and he has little stuffing
Anxiety; music, breaths, fidgets, and people. Anger; hitting people with swords (consensually), taking space+ potentially destroying something safe to destroy
Used to be baths but now it's becoming shower
Gonna try go to my first Belegarth event outside college clubs! Hopefully this month
Any kind of candy, frozen fruit
"Come back with a warrant" crosstich for the entryway to our appartment
Physical affection and verbal affirmation
Every single age- I hope I feel more myself a little bit every day
Not in the traditional sense; I consider some letters I've gotten love letters
I couldn't sleep and ended up in the living room trying not to have a panic attack. A friend came, checked on me, and held me. I had a few minutes of feeling absolutely, completely safe and calm in the middle of hours of anxiety. This is... a repeated theme. I love my friends.
Hot cocoa
Our Lord and Fae King Hozier gets the most listens
Yes! I got flowers from my teacher when I was in a musical
I don't have a bestfriend because its impossible to compare love between people when each love is a different kind and shape
My partner gets blue vibes off of me a lot, and the character I stole my name from is blue, so... a soft, pale blue with folds of lavender?
Somewhere safe for my queer friends and relationships; the platonacule
I don't know if I love-love to garden? I've done it, it's pretty, I could see myself getting into it when I have a space to garden. I have a window plant right now. Hopefully it survived it's long drought
I'm still here and I'm happy
I hope so.
Everything and anything crafty
✨soft asks✨
What song makes you feel better?
What is your go to comfort show?
Reading or writing? Why?
Whats your favorite feeling?
How do you like to take care of yourself?
What’s your favorite candle scent?
Who do you feel most like yourself around?
Whats a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?
Best childhood moment?
When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)
Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!
What calms you down?
Bath or shower to relax?
Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?
Comfort food?
What’s something you want to create soon?
How do you feel best loved?
What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?
Have you ever written or received a love letter?
Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.
Tea, Coffee, or hot cocoa?
Name of your favorite playlist?
Have you ever received flowers?
Who is your bestfriend?
If your soul was a color, what would it be?
If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?
Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?
What are you proudest of?
Are you a kind person?
What do your hobbies look like?
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A PARTY TO REMEMBER
pairing: vampire!heeseung x fem!reader genre: friends to lovers, smut, pwp, Decelis Academy au warnings: smut content, drinking, kissing, ass grabbing, bitting, tit sucking, nipple play, dirty talking, oral (f.reciving), pussy slapping, fingering, big dick hee, blood, vampire stuff, unprotected sex (don’t do this guys), a bit of chocking, cum eating. want to keep reading? click here ⬇️
YOU’RE INVITED TO OUT BLOODY BIRTHDAY PARTY.
“Y/N, wait a second!” a voice exclaimed behind you, you turned around, seeing the familiar face of the boy who you were very used to see every day at the Academy.
“Heeseung, hi. Is everything okay?” you asked with a small smile on your face, your heart staring to pump faster as the boy came closer to you.
Heeseung was a very handsome and popular boy at your Academy. He and his group of friends Jake, Jay, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon and Ni-ki were known for their mysterious appearance and charming personality.
“Yeah, yeah.” he said. “I just wanted to give you this…”
Heeseung took a out of his backpack a piece of paper that seemed like a card, he gave it to you, a dark blue piece of paper that had written on the front “An Invitation To Our Bloody Birthday Party, To: Y/N.”
“Oh, thanks, Hee. I knew your birthday was coming up but I didn’t knew you were throwing a party.” he chuckled.
“Yeah, we decided that we wanted a big birthday this year.”
“We?” you repeated, a confused look in your face.
“Mhm.” he nodded. “Y’know, me and my friends. We all have the same birthday.”
“That’s—that’s an interesting thing to know…” you thought for a moment. “But anyway, thanks for the invitation, Hee.”
“No problem! Friday night, okay? 9pm, try not to be late. The dress code is our uniform… and Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Please come, i’m excited to have you there.”
“I’m surely going to be there, don’t worry.” you giggled. “And again, thanks for the invitation.”
“See you Friday night then.” Heeseung waved you goodbye with a smile on his face and continued walking.
You looked down and the invitation on your hands, taking out the white piece of paper that was inside the blue one.
You’re invited to our bloody birthday party.
Sometimes, walking down the deadly path
Without fleeing from death itself
Can give rise to the most wondrous creation
We hope you will be able to come.
Huh, this was a very—very interesting birthday invitation. Bloody Birthday Party? What does that even mean? And the fact that they all have the same birthday, makes the situation even stranger.
Students talked a lot about Heeseung and his friends. Most of the time were good things —most of the time— but the rumor about them going to the forest at night to kill animals and drink their blood, never left the Academy. People made theories about it, maybe they were sick of their mind, maybe they were crazy—even murders. But the craziest of them was the one that said they were all vampires.
Of course you liked Heeseung—and not just in the friendly way. His handsome face and polite manners caught your attention since the first day you met him at the Decelis Academy. He was always kind and friendly to you, who could possibly not fall for him? You also had a good relationship with his friends, Jake and Jay were your chemistry partners at class, Sunghoon was your very first friend at the Academy, you tutored Sunoo and Jungwon a few times for math class, and Ni-ki—well, he hit you on the face with a ball by accident.
ding dong!
You stood in front of the party’s door, loud music pumping from the inside. It was as a dark night, the cold breeze running to your body sending a shiver down to your spine, an unpleasant and uneasy feeling invading your body.
“Y/N, you finally came!” the door opened, revealing a messy hair Heeseung on the inside. His tie was a little bit loose and he had a red cup on his hand, probably de liquor he was drinking.
“Hey.” you smiled. “Sorry for the waiting, I had some work to do…”
“Don’t worry. Come in, come in.” Heeseung stepped aside letting you in, the room was full of people dancing and drinking, there was a disco-ball illuminating with flashing lights the room and everyone seemed to have a good time.
“Follow me, let’s say hello to the other guys.”
Heeseung’s arm wrapped over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him to make sure you wouldn’t lose in the crowd. He took you to the living room, where all his friends were laughing and drinking with each other.
“Hey guys!” Heeseung spoke, gaining the attention of his friends. “Look who finally came…”
“Y/N!” Sunoo exclaimed, raising his arms in excitement.
“Happy birthday you guys!” you pull them all into a tight hug, congratulating them one by one.
“Hey, I remember you.” the youngest of them, Riki, said. “You’re the girl I hit with a ball last week.”
“Yeah…” you answered.
“Sorry about that, nice to finally meet you.” he smiled.
“There’s drinks and food at the kitchen.” Jake said and Sunghoon nodded. “Take whatever you want and have fun.” Jungwon added.
“I’ll get her a drink, see you later boys.”
Heeseung got you out of the conversation with the boys and guided you towards the kitchen. A lot of students were passed out in the couches due to the alcohol in their systems and a few of them were making out in hidden corners of the room.
There were a lot types of drinks in the counter, particularly every single one of them being color red. Maybe this was what the invitation ment with “Bloody Birthday Party.”
“You really got into the theme, huh?” you smirked, speaking as loud as possible for Heeseung to hear you. “Even the drinks look like real blood.”
“I know, right.” he chuckled. “We put a lot of effort in it.”
Heeseung handed you the drink he was making for you, the red substance looking pretty temptress in your hands.
You gave it a sip, the drink actually tasting really good, a mix of strong liquor and something that you couldn’t guess if it was strawberry or watermelon burning down your throat. It tastes good, you thought.
“I’m glad you like it.” the boy said.
“How do you even know I like it?” you spoke back.
“You thought about it.”
“I actually did.” you laughed. “How did you know? It’s actually really, really good.”
“Just a little guess… C’mon, I want to show you something.”
Heeseung took your hand and dragged you through the crowd once again. God, he has been so touchy with you since you came in here. It’s not like you had something planned for tonight to get with Heeseung—it was his birthday party after all—but deep down in your mind you wished for him to make a move.
You started to hear the music and people talking less and less every minute. Heeseung’s hand was still dragging you up the stairs to what seemed the second floor of the house.
“Heeseung, where are we going?” you asked in confusion. why was he keeping you afar from the party?
“To my room.” he simply answered.
“Your—your room?” you stuttered. “But what about the party? You’re the birthday boy, you can’t just leave!”
“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I just want to show you something. Besides, the other boys are down there.”
“Okay…”
Heeseung opened the door of what appeared to be his room, you entered the unknown space and then he came after you. The bedroom had actually a lot of space, a big bed with a desk on the side, a tv—but what actually caught your attention was the balcony that was illuminated by the moonlight.
“Oh, wow.” you murmured.
You stepped into the balcony, allowing the cold breeze to run through your hair. The view was amazing, the moon and stars were shining bright and you could almost see the entire Academy from here.
“Beautiful view isn’t it?” Heeseung said, standing beside you while admiring the big bright moon.
“Absolutely yes, you’re lucky to have this view every day.”
“Right? I know…”
You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice that Heeseung wasn’t looking at the sky anymore, he was actually looking at you.
“What are you looking at?” you chuckled nervously, trying to avoid eye contact at all costs.
“Hmm, just the view.” he smirked.
“Oh, shut up.” you pushed his arm softly. “What is that even supposed to mean?”
“It means I like you.”
Wait—what? Oh god, Heeseung, your crush for the last few months was actually confessing that he liked you.
“I know you like me too.” he smiled.
“Oh yeah? And what makes you so sure about that, huh?”
“Because you…” he paused for a second, getting so close to you in a way that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. “…just thought about how i’ve been your crush for the past months.”
How could he possibly know what you were thinking? First it happened with the drink, now with this—
“How are you reading my mind?” you whispered, your lips so close to his that they were almost touching.
“I know a lot of things, baby.” Heeseung whispered back.
He got even closer to you, almost closing the small amount of distance that was left. His lips brushed against your cheek, sending a jolt of electricity through your body and shivers down your spine. His hands were on your hips, the tension between you two growing stronger second by second.
Heeseung’s lips finally met yours, kissing you in a slowly sensual way as if he was trying to take his time with you. The kiss eventually heated up pretty quickly, the wet smacking sounds and labored breathing was the only thing that could be heard. His tongue entered your mouth, dancing with your own wet muscle who was trying to gain control, of course you failed. Heeseung’s hands went from your hips to your ass, squeezing harshly and provoking a moan from your mouth.
“You’ll let me have you, right?”
He didn’t even need to hear an answer, the way your body was reacting to his touch was as enough green light for him to continue.
Heeseung guided you carefully to the soft mattress of his bed, his lips never leaving yours. His hands started to touch your body, taking off your tie and untying the white Academy Uniform you were wearing. One of his hands cupped your breast, pulling your lacy white bra to the side so he could feel how hard your nipples were starting to get.
“Fuck…” you moaned. Heeseung’s lips went from kissing your lips, to your jaw, to finally meet the soft skin of your neck. He started to suck there, discovering that every inch of your neck was one of your sweet spots.
His lips nipped all over your skin, biting and sucking it in a way that was making you see stars. He bit a particular place that got your eyes rolling at the back of your head, the burning pain of his teeth sinking down your skin adding more pleasure than you were feeling before.
“Auch!” you hissed.
“You like that? You like that baby? Yeah, me too.” he whispered before biting the same spot again.
His hot mouth went down to kiss your collarbone while one of his hands was busy unclasping your bra. He took it completely off, throwing it at one side of the bed, your soft breasts and erect nipples coming out freely.
His hands reached out and started to squeeze your tits, his fingers pinching your nipples as a moan scapes your lips. Heeseung’s swollen lips came to suck on of your nipples, his mouth pulling the flesh as hard as he could. Your back arched, trying to press your chest as close as you could to his mouth. The hot muscle came to your other tit, his tongue flicking your erect nipple while his hand was caressing your other breast.
He traveled a path of kisses from your tits to where you uniform skirt started, you took it off in a quick motion, trying to get some friction in where you need it the most.
“So desperate, huh…” he kissed you inner tights. “Want me to suck your pussy, baby? Want me to make you feel good?”
“Just—stop with the teasing, please.” you begged, your hips bucking up trying to find some sort of relief.
“You really need me, don’t you?” he giggled.
“Heeseung, please.” you groaned in frustration. “Please…”
“Just because you asked it so nicely.”
He took your panties off, his head between your tights as he spread your pussy lips apart. Heeseung finally leaned in, his tongue poking out to lick your clit.
“Fuck!” you gasped.
He began to lick and suck at your clit, his movements becoming stronger as he tried his best to please you. He groaned, the vibrations going directly to your throbbing cunt, his tongue moving roughly against your sensitive flesh. You moaned in pleasure, your hand coming down to his hair trying to push him even closer to you. He sucked and slurped loudly as he devoured your pussy, just like a starved man. One of his fingers came into your hole, stretching you to prepare you for what would be coming in a few minutes. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to climax, your body trembling with anticipation.
“I’m gonna—shit— i think I’m cumming.” your hands grabbed the sheets behind you, searching for some kind of support.
“Taste so fucking good, baby… Just want you to cum in my face.”
His lips went back to your glistening pussy, he buried his face between your legs, his tongue delving deep into your cunt. You allow yourself to let out a load moan, no one would hear you do to the music, anyways. Heeseung’s tongue was swirling around your bundle of nerves and fucking your pussy.
“Cumming.” you nearly managed to say, biting your lip so hard to muffle your moans you could start taste your own blood.
A slap hit your pussy, the mixture of pain and pleasure making the knot in your stomach instantly snap. He continued to suck your pussy through your orgasm, your juices gushing out as he eats you even harder now. The wetness dripping down his chin as you cum all over his face.
“Shit…” Heeseung panted, his head coming up from between your legs. “That was so fucking hot.”
He crawled up until his lips were on top of yours once again, the mix of your lip blood and your own arousal in Heeseung’s mouth making the kiss intoxicated.
“Blood.” Heeseung said, stopping his movements and staring at your lips. You could feel his dark gaze in you, the only source of light was the moon that was illuminating his face.
“What?” you murmured, to lost in his kisses to even care about what he was saying.
“I can taste blood on your lips.” he repeated.
“I’m sorry—I think I bit my lip too hard.”
“Good.”
He captured your lips in a hungrier kiss, his hands went to unbutton his own shirt, throwing it to the side. Your hands touched his chest and his abs, trying to memorize every single inch of his perfect body. You went down, your fingers untangling his belt, both of his arms on the sides of your head.
Heeseung tossed your hands aside, taking down his own pants and boxers, revealing his hard throbbing length. He stroked himself a little, precum dripping down his red tip. He aligned himself to your entrance, pressing his hard cock against your soaking wet pussy. He slowly started thrusting into you, his thick length stretching you so delicious yet so painfully. He could feel your tight cunt stretching around his girth, a groan coming out from his lips.
His dick was sliding deep into your pussy, his movements hard and fast. You moaned, the feeling of his dick deep into you too good to be true. Your tits moving rhythmically with his trusts, bouncing up and down just right into Heeseung’s face. He kissed both of them, biting and sucking into the soft flesh. Tears were starting to come down from your face, your orgasm approaching faster than you expected.
“You can take it, baby. Take my cock, so fucking good, so fucking tight.” he groaned, his thumb cleaning the tears from your cheeks. “You want to cum, huh?”
The only sound coming from your mouth were incoherent mumbles, you were so cock drunk you couldn’t even speak properly.
“Use your words when I speak to you, Y/N.” a particular hard thrust hit your pussy, making you moan like crazy. Heeseung’s hand went to your throat, adding the perfect amount of pressure for you to feel like in cloud nine.
“Fuck— yes! Please, Hee. Please…” you gasped, the lack of oxygen and the tears in your eyes blurring your sight.
“It’s okay, baby. Let it go, okay? Just be a good girl and cum for me.”
His fingers reached around to rub your clit, making you moan even louder as he fucked you senseless.
Your orgasm hit you like a truck, you pussy clenching hard around his dick. Heeseung was still trying to chase his own orgasm, the overstimulation being too much to your poor sensitive body.
“Shit—now i’m gonna cum.” he panted, his thrust becoming sloppier. “Where do you want it?”
“Tits.” you replied.
He pulled out of you, now kneeling at one side of your body right next to your chest. He began to pump himself faster, moans escaping from his pretty lips.
The next thing you could feel was his hot cum ropes touching your chest, you sticked your tongue out, some of the salty fluid getting into your mouth.
Heeseung landed next to you, his arm around your waist and his face in the crook of your neck, both of you still trying to catch your breaths. He left kisses on your shoulder, making you feel save and loved at the same time.
The cute, soft moment didn’t last long, tho. You hissed, shifting a little uncomfortable as you felt Heeseung’s teeth on your neck again.
“Hey, you like biting, don’t you?” you giggled, hands coming to stroke his hair softly.
“It’s a mark.” he spoke. “Now you’re mine.”
“Yours, huh?” you smiled.
“Mhm, yes.”
The coldness of the night hit you in contrast of the hot atmosphere of Heeseung’s room.
It was around 3am on the morning and everyone already left the party. Of course you didn’t want to leave Heeseung’s side, but you had to get back to your dorm before the classes began.
The scenario of Heeseung and you was repeating in your mind like a movie, you smiled to yourself, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
“Oh, shit.” you said, stopping abruptly your path and remembering that your tie was still missing. I must left it in Heeseung’s room, you thought.
You went back to the house, opening the door and seeing all the mess that was left behind. Surely all the boys were either too drunk or too lazy to clean the place.
You walked to Heeseung’s room, your hand almost touching the door knob when you heard a strange sound come from another door. You froze, maybe one of the boys was still up. What if someone saw you trying to get into Heeseung’s room?
You heard the strange noise again, deciding to leave Heeseung’s room and walk to the other door. You pressed your ear into it, trying to decipher what was causing the sounds you were hearing.
Taking a deep breath you decided to open the door, and you did not expect to see what was happening.
“What the…”
Your eyes widen in surprise. The room was cover in blood, mostly snakes and other type of animals laying dead or in pieces all across the room.
The seven boys looked at you, too perplexed to continue their actions. All of them were also covered in blood. Sunoo, Sunghoon and Heeseung holding a small snake in his hands.
“Y/N.” Heeseung spoke, panic in his voice trying to find an excuse to save himself and the others. “I swear I can explain…”
#enhypen#smut#enha x reader#heesung enhypen#heesung smut#decelis academy#vampire#enha vampires#dark blood#lee heeseung#lee heesung x reader#lee heesung smut#heeseung#enhypen smut#shim jake#enhypen jay#enha sunghoon#enha sunoo#enha jungwon#enha niki
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꩜ .ᐟ LITTLE THINGS 이희승
— ✮⋆˙ heeseung x reader ✮⋆˙ fluff, established relationship, non-idol au ✮⋆˙ 0.7k wc ✮⋆˙ grammar errors
WHEREIN heeseung finds himself falling more in love with you every time you do the smallest things.
every little thing you did made heeseung’s heart race in ways he never thought possible. he always told himself he wasn’t the type to get caught up in the small details—but then you came along
it was the way you’d smile at him, that quiet kind of smile, like you knew all his secrets and still loved him anyway. the way your eyes crinkled at the corners when you laughed, the way they softened when you looked at him.
heeseung could get lost in your eyes—he had, so many times.
heeseung was on his way home after you’d sent him out to buy a few things. as he walked past a small flower shop, the colorful display caught his eye. it instantly reminded him of you and the way you always lit up whenever you two visited one.
“did you know daisies symbolize purity and innocence?” you’d say, rambling random flower facts while pointing to your favorites.
he smiled to himself. it was one of the many reasons he fell for you—your curious mind and the way you turned even the simplest outings into something memorable.
on the bus ride home, he overheard a group of friends saying their goodbyes. it reminded him of how you always waved at your friends with the sweetest smile before rushing over to him.
heeseung couldn’t help but chuckle softly, looking down at his phone. your messages popped up on the screen.
lovelove ❤️
food’s almost cold!
stay safe, i love you!
oh yeah, i think i miss you already:(
he laughed at the cute sticker you’d sent along with it. snapping a quick picture of himself on the bus, he texted back:
my fav person ! 💞
on my way. don’t eat without me! :)
when heeseung finally arrived home, you greeted him at the door, practically throwing your arms around him. “woah, easy there,” he chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist.
your face was glowing, your eyes sparkling with sincerity, warmth, and love—the kind of look that made him fall in love with you all over again.
“welcome home! oh, let me get these—thank you for buying them,” you said, pulling away to grab the bags from his hands. he watched you with a fond smile as you disappeared into the kitchen.
“oh, and dinner’s ready!” you called out. “i also bought your favorite drink yesterday.”
heeseung sat down at the dining table, resting his chin on his hand as he watched you move around the kitchen, chattering about your day. you pulled his drink from the fridge, placing it on the table with a proud smile.
“oh, and yeah—” you paused when you noticed his silence. “everything okay?”
heeseung blinked, his thoughts catching up. “yeah,” he said, smiling softly.
you squinted at him as you sat down across from him, serving portions of food onto both plates. “you’re giving me that look again, hee.”
“what look?”
“like you’re trying to manipulate me or something,” you joked, though your cheeks warmed under his gaze.
he laughed at your playful tone, leaning forward to brush a strand of hair away from your face. “you’re funny. but you know what? you do the same thing to me all the time. your eyes, your smile… even the little things about you make me forget everything else.”
your heart raced at his words, your cheeks now burning. “you’re being so dramatic,” you mumbled, suddenly shy.
“i’m not,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “everything i said is true.”
heeseung picked up his chopsticks and started eating like he hadn’t just turned your heart racing so fast it felt like it might burst.
as the night deepened, the two of you stayed like that—sharing food, laughter, and quiet moments where words weren’t necessary.
later, you both found yourselves curled up on the couch, a soft blanket draped over you as you rested your head on his chest. the sound of his heartbeat matched the rhythm of your own, steady and comforting.
later, as you lay curled up on the couch together, heeseung rested his chin on top of your head. “you know,” he murmured, “you’re everything i never knew i needed.”
you tilted your head to meet his gaze, his eyes full of love that left you breathless. “and you,” you whispered back, “are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
heeseung smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
and as you closed your eyes, you thought of the way he looked at you—like you were the only person in the world.
© lvzrii4 — do not copy, translate, and repost my work.
#⟡ 🗂️ ── ria files#enhypen#enha#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#enhypen oneshots#enhypen fluff#enha reactions#enha drabble#enhypen imagines#enhypen reactions#lee heeseung#lee heeseung x reader#heeseung x reader#heeseung fluff#lee heeseung one shot#park jay#sim jake#park sunghoon#kim sunoo#yang jungwon#nishimura riki#fluff#x reader#kpop#oneshot
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Ok but some people can't trust their own judgement on how people feel. And assuming that they do have correct judgement creates a self fulfilling prophecy
I have CPTSD from a shitty childhood
I know I'm an unreliable narrator about how people perceive me in their lives a lot of the time. I don't like myself because of trauma and because I don't see myself as likable it's hard for me to believe that other people actually like me
But I have to accept the care they give and acknowledge it and accept that it's real even if I don't understand it. And I have to accept that if something hurts my feelings I can talk to them about it because I try very hard not to assume the worst from people. It's a huge struggle for me but has allowed me to maintain relationships and friendships
And yeah when I was young I had "friends" who were pretty shitty to me. I was also pretty shitty as a friend at that time. We were all still learning how to be people and that means recognising sometimes that our thoughts about other people's feelings are irrational.
Someone I know IRL who also has CPTSD assumes everyone is going to leave her and places unreasonable demands of "if you loved me you would do x" variety and takes any attempt from the other person to set boundaries as a personal attack. She asks for advice then gets mad at people for "telling her what to do". She calls people liars when they aren't lying, forgets the kindness they when sent, and ascribes the worst possible motivations for everything. And people get fed up being treated this way and do distance themselves and then she gets even more firmly convinced she's right and that all of her former friends were out to get her
She's a tar pit and so are you
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Back To You - Part 8 | Sam Carpenter
Pairing: Sam Carpenter x reader
Warnings: mentions of violence, death, blood, injuries, and swearing
Summary: When Sam left after turning eighteen, you were devastated. You’d been in love with her since you were kids and her leaving meant you never got to tell her how you truly felt.
Fast forward a couple of years, Tara gets attacked and Sam returns. . .
Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist
_______________________________________________
I open my eyes and stop leaning against the bus window to my right when my music stops and my phone starts ringing.
Our team’s physical therapist, Jackson, cracks an eye open next to me before settling back into his seat. We’re about the same age and he and I have been friends since he helped me get back in shape for hockey while recovering from my Ghostface injuries.
I pull out my phone and chuckle softly at the incoming video call from Tara.
“Hey,” I answer with a tired smile. “How’s it going?”
Tara’s face lights up at the sight of me. “Hi! It’s going great! We just finished unboxing everything and Sam is out to grab some lunch. How are you?”
I adjust my headphones a bit so I can lean back against the window. “Good, but tired. We’re just getting back from a game.”
“Did you win?” she asks with a raised eyebrow and when I nod her smile brightens.
It’s been two months since I moved from Woodsboro to Boston and since then a lot has changed.
Sam moved into my old apartment when Christina Carpenter kicked her out which led to Tara cutting ties with her mother as well, and now they’re both living there with me being their landlord since I own the place.
I didn’t ask for any rent at first when Sam started living there because she had trouble finding a job, but now she works at a local gym an old friend of my dad’s owns, and she insists on paying some rent.
Other than that the two of them keep me updated on each other’s wellbeing and Sam has really proven that she wants to make things up to me by constantly checking in on me. She also helped me move my classes online and even went so far as to take care of putting flowers on my parents grave on the anniversary of their death a month ago.
We have yet to talk about our feelings for each other —more like my feelings for her— but it just seems wrong to do it over the phone.
Good thing I’m visiting them over Christmas in two months. I’m super nervous about getting everything out in the open, but we have to talk.
I can’t not know how she feels anymore. Either she straight up tells me she doesn’t feel the same way which would hurt but give me closure, or she’ll tell me she likes me back which would be. . . good? I guess? Just because she likes me back doesn’t mean she wants to get into another relationship right away, right? I mean, do I even want to get into a relationship right away?
God, I’m getting ahead of myself.
“Do you want a tour of the apartment?” Tara asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Sure.” I chuckle. I doubt a lot has changed since I didn’t take any of my furniture with me, but I’m sure Tara has taken it upon herself to decorate the place to her liking and I kind of want to know how she’s turned the former guest room into her own room.
She switches the camera on her phone and starts showing me everything, pointing out little details here and there as she moves through the rooms.
Jackson, at one point, waves his hand to get my attention and mouths Girlfriend? while gesturing at my phone and I shake my head.
I mute myself for a moment and turn my phone so Tara can’t see me if she looks at the screen.
“It’s just Tara,” I explain which makes him smile knowingly.
“Ah. . . So the girlfriend’s little sister,” he teases and even though he doesn’t know all too much about Sam and me, he knows the gist of it from Liam and Paige who have met him on more than one occasion while visiting me.
They get along great with Jackson and I love it even though they bond over teasing me. Too bad Liam and Paige are still in Woodsboro. They plan on moving to the east coast some time soon as well though because Liam got a job offer in New York and Paige wants to move in with her long distance girlfriend who lives in Portland.
“Shut up, Sam’s not my girlfriend,” I argue weakly, feeling my cheeks turn red.
Jackson shoves me playfully. “Yet,” he teases and I just shove him back before unmuting myself and focusing back on Tara.
“And finally, my new room,” she says, going on with the tour without realizing that I wasn’t paying attention for a second ago.
“Looks good, Sprout,” I compliment. “I like the fairy lights behind the bed.”
Tara turns the camera again and beams at me. “Thank you. It was Sam’s ideas. She’s going to get some for her room, too.”
“Nice.” I nod in approval and smile sadly. “Man, I miss you guys.”
Them being on the other side of the country and in an entirely different time zone has made it difficult to stay in touch, but we try our best even though talking over the phone is just not the same as seeing each other in person.
Tara’s face softens and she takes a seat on her bed, pouting. “We miss you, too. It’s weird not having you around all the time, but we’ll see each other soon. I already got you your Christmas present.”
That makes me laugh and the homesickness that I was feeling a moment ago fades a little. “Oohh, can’t wait to find out what it is. Speaking of, do you know what I could get Sam? I already have something for you in mind, but I have no idea what to get her.“
Jackson leans over, obnoxiously mimicking kissing someone and I shove him away with a playful glare before looking back at Tara who is too lost in thought to notice my momentary distraction.
“Hmm. I don’t know. There’s this necklace she showed me a while ago that she likes, but I can’t remember where it was from. I can ask her about it though,” she says and I’m quick to nod.
“That would be great, but don’t make it obvious. She can’t suspect anything!” I warn which makes her roll her eyes good-naturedly.
“I won’t, I promise. This isn’t my first rodeo.”
I chuckle. “Good.”
2 months later. . .
I’m finally back in California and as I make my way through the airport’s parking lot to my rental car I can’t help but relish in the warm breeze that rustles some nearby trees.
I’ve come to love Boston and my new friends and teammates, but it’s just so goddamn cold there, especially now right before Christmas.
I was supposed to fly in tomorrow, on the 25th, but I changed my flight two days ago to surprise Sam and Tara, hence why I had to get a rental car instead of the two of them picking me up.
I finally get to the car and shove my bags into the trunk with little effort. I’m so glad I’m no longer injured because if I was, this whole thing would be extremely difficult.
Everything healed nicely, leaving behind nothing but scars, and I can happily live with that. They serve as a reminder that I managed to help Sam and Tara survive Ghostface and that we all made it out alive. The scar on my spine is a different story. I’ve hated it ever since I got it because it reminds me that my parents are dead and that I came close to being paralyzed, both things that I’d rather forget.
I shut the trunk with a satisfying thump, and get into the car, putting on some sunglasses to shield my eyes from the setting sun before pulling out of the parking lot.
The drive to my old apartment is familiar and even though there’s a lot of traffic since it’s Christmas eve, I manage to get home just as the sun goes down, leaving behind a faint orange glow in the sky.
I grab my stuff from the trunk and head into the apartment building, smiling at one of my old neighbors when he recognizes me and opens the door for me.
Okay, this is it.
I smile when I get to the third floor and set my bags down to knock at the familiar door.
I think of how weird it is to knock at my once own door, but that thought quickly vanishes when Tara opens the door ever so slightly, peeking through the gap.
“Oh my God!” She squeaks happily when she realizes it’s me and closes the door again to undo the chain before opening it properly. “Hi!”
“Hey, Sprout. Merry Christmas.” I barely have time to prepare myself for the bone crushing hug she pulls me into, but I’m definitely not complaining. I chuckle and lift her off her feet, spinning around before setting her down again.
“Tara, who’s at the door?” Sam’s voice from inside the apartment makes my stomach fill with butterflies and when she pokes her head around the corner my smile widens.
“Hey.”
Her jaw drops at the sight of me and as soon as I’ve let go of Tara she’s rushed over to hug me as well. Her hug is tame compared to Tara’s, but it’s still comforting and I can’t help but lift her off her feet for a second as well.
“What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to get in until tomorrow. Did something happen?” she asks in disbelief when I pull back and I don’t miss the way her eyes dart all over my face as if checking for injuries.
My smile softens and I squeeze her in my arms one more time before separating from her completely. “Nothing happened, Sammy. I just wanted to surprise you guys.”
“You did,” Tara says, completely oblivious to the way her sister’s cheeks turn red at my use of her old nickname.
It honestly just slipped out, but I can’t say I’m displeased with the reaction it garnered.
“Yeah,” Sam mumbles, smiling shyly. She tucks her hair behind her ears and picks at the black sweater she’s wearing. “Why don’t you come in? We were just about to start dinner.”
I nod and pick up my bags, following the two of them into the apartment.
Not much has changed since I left because most of the furniture is the same, but Tara did do some decorating and there are different pictures on the walls.
There’s also a decorated christmas tree in the corner of the living room that glows in the low light and makes me smile.
I never put one up when I was living here because I always spent Christmas at Liam and Paige’s place anyway.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” Sam says nervously which makes me turn to look at her in the kitchen. Tara momentarily vanished into her room which explains Sam’s sudden nervousness. The dining table between us is set beautifully with candles and some more Christmas decorations and until now I hadn’t noticed the soft music coming from a speaker nearby. “Why don’t you- uh— freshen up while Tara and I finish up in the kitchen?”
I get a sense of deja vu since not even four months ago I was saying something similar to her, but I nod without bringing it up, taking note of how awkward things suddenly are between us.
We don’t act like this over the phone, but over the phone we usually don’t see each other unless Tara turns it into a video call, and we usually keep things polite.
This seems more. . . intimate even though nothing’s happening.
“Sure. I’ll be right back. Thanks.” I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, taking one of my bags with me.
I could really use a shower after my long flight, so I quickly strip as soon as I’ve locked the door behind me and get into the shower.
The hot water helps to get rid of the residual cold that somehow still clings to me from Boston, and once I get out of the shower I put on a shirt and a hoodie to make sure it also stays away.
I finish dressing and go to leave the bathroom again, but then my eyes get caught on a small orange pill bottle on the floor next to the sink.
I crouch down and pick it up, realizing it’s Sam’s when I see her name on the lable.
Her antipsychotics.
I take a closer look for a moment before shrugging and placing them on the counter next to the sink where they were probably knocked down from.
It doesn’t freak me out that she has to take them, or that she sees visions of Billy because I know they’re just that— visions, and she herself has said that she’d never hurt Tara or me because of them.
I can tell that they’re tiring though because of how resigned she was when she talked about them the last time, and I make a mental note to ask her how she’s dealing with them now.
“Ah, finally!” Tara exclaims when I make my way back into the living room. She’s sitting at the head of the dining table with a steaming bowl of pasta in front of her and a fork in hand, ready to dig in. Sam is sitting to her right, also with a bowl of pasta in front of her, but unlike Tara, she doesn’t seem to be as eager to start eating.
“I was gone for like five minutes,” I defend myself with a smile which makes Sam smile, too. “And you could have started without me, you know that.”
Tara immediately shoves a forkful of pasta into her mouth and shakes her head. “Nu-uh” she mumbles, “Sam made me wait for you.”
I laugh softly and join them at the table. “Well, I’m here now.”
Tara just hums in agreement and continues eating while Sam waits for my reaction to the food after I’ve had my first bite before diving in herself.
“This is great.” My eyes widen in surprise at the taste and I immediately eat another forkful before asking, “You guys made this?”
Sam nods but Tara shakes her head again, pointing her thumb at her older sister. “Sam did. I just watched and set the table.”
Damn. Who knew she could cook like that. I mean, her pancakes were great and all, but I didn’t know she could actually cook like this.
My eyes find Sam’s and when I raise my eyebrows expectantly she finally gives in and shrugs timidly, her eyes avoiding mine.
“It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just some pasta.” She deflects with red cheeks, trying to downplay her skills.
That makes me nudge her foot under the table, prompting her to look at me again. “Maybe. But it’s still delicious.”
I smile and she turns even more red, saying, “Thank you.”
I watch her with fondness as she nervously tucks her hair behind her ear before eating.
“Come on, move. Let me do something,” I complain, trying to get Sam to move away from the sink.
Dinner was delicious and we all helped ourselves to a second serving. Now, Tara is in her room, talking to Chad and Mindy on the phone while Sam and I are in the kitchen doing the dishes.
Well, Sam is doing the dishes. I want to help, but she keeps refusing and telling me to just go relax after my long flight.
“I told you, I’ve got it,” she shoots back, nudging me with her hip, but I’m not having it.
It’s obvious that I can’t persuade her to let me do something, so I’ll just have to manhandle her out of the way.
“Seriously, Y/N, just—Hey!” She squeaks in surprise when I wrap my arms around her from behind and lift her up, carrying her away from the sink before setting her back down.
“You cooked, and Tara set the table, so I’ll do the dishes.” I raise an eyebrow, daring her to object but she finally gives in with a sigh. Her cheeks are once again red and for a moment she doesn’t meet my eye, but when she does, I simply smile at her and get to work on the dishes.
“Do you— I don’t know— Want some coffee or tea?” she asks and even though I don’t want either I nod, understanding her need to do something.
“Tea would be nice,” I say and for the next minute or so a silence settles over us as we both do our thing.
I’m just drying my hands after putting away the last plate when Sam joins my side again with a cup of tea in hand.
“Here you go.” She hands it to me with a small smile and I take it, mumbling a thanks as I raise it to my lips to take a sip.
“So. . .” I lean against the counter. “How are you?”
Sam hugs herself and mirrors my position against the counter. “Okay, I guess. Can’t really complain,” she says, but the way she avoids my eyes with her own tells a different story.
“You sure?” I push slightly, knowing that Tara is still in her room and there’s no chance of her overhearing something Sam potentially doesn’t want her to hear.
Sam shrugs helplessly without really answering, so I set down my tea and step closer.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask softly touching her forearm which makes her look up.
I’m surprised to find her eyes filled with tears. “I. . . Can I have a hug?” she asks quietly and before any tears can escape her eyes I pull her into a hug, resting my chin on top of her head.
Sam lets out a shuddering sigh and sinks into the hug, the smell of her perfume making my heart flutter involuntarily.
The hold this girl has on me is incredible. . .
“What’s going on?” I whisper, running my hands up and down her back.
“Everything’s been just a lot lately, you know? The fight with my mom, being back here, the move. . . not to mention the whole Ghostface shit I’m still trying to get over a-and Richie—“ My hands still on her back at the mention of his name, but I stay quiet, letting her air out her thoughts, “— I still can’t believe he was behind everything. I really liked him and he just threw it in my face and I-I feel like it’s my fault Tara and you were almost killed. I mean people did die because of me. Wes, his mom, Dewey. . .”
I raise a hand to the back of Sam’s head and run my fingers through her hair. It used to help calm her down when we were kids, so I’m hoping it’ll do the same now.
“Sam, no one died because of you.” I hug her tighter. “Richie and Amber killed people because of their fucked up dream of making a new Stab movie. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But Billy—“
“Is your father, yes,” I cut her off. “But just because he is doesn’t mean what happened is your fault. It’s Richie’s and Amber’s. They killed all those people, not you. You’re nothing like them and you’re nothing like your father.“
Sam shivers and pulls back a little to look at me. “I might not have killed Wes and the others,” she whispers with tears still in her eyes, “but I did kill Richie and—“ she looks away, ashamed, “—it felt right doing it. It felt. . . good, stabbing him. It felt so fucking good, and I just couldn’t stop a-and that scares me.”
I tilt my head with furrowed eyebrows and cup her face with my hands, her brown eyes doubtful, yet hopeful that I’ll be able to assuage her guilt somehow. “I get it. You think that makes you a monster, but I‘d been surprised if you didn’t feel that way. Richie took so much from you. He betrayed you and hurt you in more ways than one, and he hurt Tara and me. . . He was about to kill all of us, but you stopped him. Yes, you killed him, but there was no other way. He would’ve just kept coming for us if you didn’t, so of course it felt good to kill him— to know that he’d never be able to hurt anyone ever again.”
A single tear rolls down Sam’s cheek and I’m quick to wipe it away before she hugs me again, burying her face in the crook of my neck.
She’s breathing shakily and I once again run my fingers through her hair, resting my cheek against her temple.
“Thank you,” she mumbles. “You always know how to make me feel better.”
I smile sadly and hold her tighter. “You’re welcome.”
If I could have killed Richie for her I would have done it in a heartbeat, but I didn’t and now she has to live with it. She killed him to save herself and to save the rest of us and I hate that she feels guilty for doing it.
We keep hugging for a couple of moments, silently holding each other until she chuckles quietly against the side of my neck.
“I think my therapist would hate you.”
I pull back and smile at her, glad to see that she’s no longer crying. “How come?”
“Because she’s been saying the exact same thing every since I started seeing her, but I didn’t believe it until you just said it,” she admits with a sheepish grin that makes me laugh.
I raise an eyebrow. “Well, shouldn’t she love me then?”
Sam just shrugs and rests her hands on my chest, playing with the strings of my hoodie right as Tara comes walking into the kitchen.
“You guys wanna watch a movie or something? Chad and Mindy say hi, by the way,” she says without commenting on the position she finds us in.
Sam is quick to take a step back though, rubbing the back of her neck and turning to make herself a cup of tea as well.
“Yeah, movie sounds good,” I say, unbothered, picking up my own tea.
Sam simply hums in agreement without turning around, which makes Tara smile and skip to the living room.
I stir, feeling myself wake up at the sensation of something being draped over me.
It’s dark, I notice when my eyes flutter open, and I realize that I must have fallen asleep sometime during the movie.
There’s no sign of Tara, but Sam’s standing over me, adjusting the blanket she draped over me so it covers my feet.
She hasn’t realized I’ve woken up, and I don’t want her to feel bad about waking me, so when she turns back to face me I quickly close my eyes again and pretend I’m still asleep.
There’s some shuffling and it takes everything in me not to flinch when Sam’s fingers brush against my forehead a second later, moving some hair out of my face.
She sighs and I think she might say something since she thinks I’m asleep, but she doesn’t.
She does place a delicate kiss to my forehead though, and it’s so surprising that as soon as I’m sure she’s gone into her room, I open my eyes again, touching my tingling forehead where her lips were a moment ago.
We really need to talk.
_______________________________________________
Happy new year, everyone!
We’ll be diving into the plot of the sixth movie in part 10, so enjoy some fluff for now <3
Tag list: @bella423 @artrizzler19 @btay3115 @canyonyodeler @quadofthec @pussyydestroyer @rqizzu @pithod @morganismspam23
#x reader#fluff#samantha carpenter x reader#sam carpenter x reader#sam carpenter#samantha carpenter#scream
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hiii, could you maybe write a dave lizewski x reader where the reader is also a huge comic book nerd like dave? and he comes over to her place to help her organize all her comic books + action figures into her display shelves + they yap together abt comic stuff or something
it can be established rs or pre relationship, i think either way would be still be so cute!!! it would also be rlly cool to see a more sarcastic reader utilized here, its cute to see that dynamic with dave!!!
i rlly hope this makes sense! i hope it didnt seem too rambly 😭😭😭😭 thank uuuuu
Supreme Sarcasm Power
Dave Lizewski x f!reader
Summary: "I knew you had an impressive collection, but… this is practically a nerd sanctuary." "You only say that because you want to marry me and get half of the assets in the division," you retorted. The teasing tone made Dave flash a crooked smile, nearly dropping the action figure. "I don't need a comic collection for that," he shot back, his eyes sparkling behind his glasses. "Just you."
Warnings: just fluffy
A/N: honey, yeees I understood, don't worry. I feel like I made a mistake with the nerdy references(so sorry), but I hope you can like it <33
Masterlist
The room was a perfect reflection of your personality: half Disney princess, half intergalactic warrior. Cute plushies shared space with incredibly detailed action figures, and shelves full of comics contrasted with delicate pastel-colored lamps. Dave was in the middle of the organized chaos, holding a Captain America action figure in one hand and a Watchmen comic book in the other.
"I knew you had an impressive collection, but... this is practically a nerd sanctuary," he said, trying not to sound too impressed—and failing miserably.
"You only say that because you want to marry me and get half of the assets in the division," you retorted, not even looking up as you stacked some issues of Saga. The teasing tone made Dave flash a crooked smile, nearly dropping the action figure.
"I don't need a comic collection for that," he shot back, his eyes sparkling behind his glasses. "Just you."
"Aww," you replied, turning to face him with an arched eyebrow. "But if you drop my Captain America, forget it."
Dave chuckled, slightly flushed, as he carefully placed the action figure on the designated shelf. "Seriously, how did you get this? This limited edition costs a fortune."
"Connections," you replied mysteriously, crossing your arms. "And what I did was sell part of my soul. Totally worth it, don't you think?"
Dave laughed, still eyeing the action figure in his hands before carefully returning it to its proper spot on the shelf. You could feel his gaze lingering on every detail of your room, as if he was absorbing it all. It was the kind of attention he gave to everything he loved, and, well, you knew that included you. But you weren’t going to admit that out loud, at least not without making a sarcastic comment right after.
"So, what's next on the organization list?" he asked, putting his hands on his hips in an awkward but absurdly adorable way.
You pointed to the stack of boxes in the corner of the room. "That one. But be careful with the one at the bottom, it has glass. And if you break something... well, let's just say not even the Hulk will protect you."
"Got it," he responded with a serious expression that lasted two seconds before giving way to a nervous smile. "No ruining my entrance to the Avengers, noted."
As he bent down to grab the next box, you returned your focus to organizing the comics alphabetically—because, of course, it had to be alphabetical. It didn’t take long for the comfortable silence to be broken by a strange sound coming from Dave: a mix of a sigh and a stifled laugh.
"What’s up?" you asked, not turning around. The casual tone was a clear attempt to ignore the little wave of concern that hit you. After all, that kind of sound coming from him usually meant he'd found something... compromising.
He didn’t answer, which only made your anxiety worse. When you finally turned around, your heart practically dropped to your stomach. There he was, holding a Quicksilver poster with a lipstick mark strategically placed on the character’s cheek. The bright red contrasted with the worn paper, clearly loved too much during its glory days.
"Oh, God," you muttered, bringing a hand to your face. "Dave, give me that."
He held the poster above his head with a grin so wide it looked like it might split his face in half. "I didn’t know you were such a big fan of Peter Maximoff."
"I’m not!" you shot back, already crossing the room toward him. "It was a teenage thing. Give it to me before I die of embarrassment."
"Teenage?" He raised an eyebrow, as if processing a revolutionary discovery. "You used to kiss posters as a teenager?"
"I didn’t kiss posters!" you exclaimed, trying to jump and grab the paper, but he had the height advantage. "It was just... I had a crush, okay? And that’s none of your business!"
He laughed, stepping back. "I think it is. After all, I’m the one who’ll have to compete with Quicksilver now."
"Dave Lizewski, I swear I’ll..." you began, but he interrupted, holding the poster even higher.
"What are you going to do? Summon your supreme sarcasm powers? Because, as far as I know, that’s not going to help you get this," he teased, his eyes gleaming with pure amusement.
You sighed, trying not to show how defeated you were in your own specialty: keeping composure. Dave seemed to be enjoying every second of this role reversal, holding the poster like a freshly won trophy, his dark curls slightly messy on his forehead, and his blue eyes shining behind his glasses. It was hard to stay truly mad at him when he had that expression—a half-smile, half-mischievous grin—that made your heart stumble before you even realized it.
But you weren’t going to give up that easily.
"Do you really want to turn this into a battle?" you shot back, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow. "Because, as far as I know, you’re not exactly known for winning."
He laughed, a low chuckle that seemed to reverberate in the space between you. "Oh, sure. This coming from the person who’s literally turning red just because I found out she kissed posters."
"I didn’t kiss posters," you repeated, even though the evidence was incriminatingly clear.
Dave raised his hand even higher, the poster swaying dangerously above you both. He wasn’t exactly tall, but he was strong in a way that didn’t seem obvious at first glance—not until you noticed the muscles in his arms, visible even under the sleeves of his T-shirt. You tried again to grab the poster, but he leaned back, laughing once more.
"Okay, this is getting ridiculous," you muttered, stopping your jumping and placing your hands on your hips. "I can't believe I’m losing to you."
"That’s what makes me a genius, right?" he responded, still with that teasing tone. "I finally figured out your weakness: teenage embarrassment."
"No way," you said, your voice firm, even though the back of your neck was still warm.
You knew you needed to change strategies. Jumping and trying to grab the poster clearly wasn’t working, so it was time to do what you did best: turn the tables in your favor.
Straightening your posture, you took a step closer to him, closing the distance until you were almost invading his space. Your gaze deliberately moved from his eyes to the poster, then back to him, your lips curling into a slow, deliberate smile.
"Okay, you won," you said softly, your voice dropping to a low, almost melodic tone. "But, if we’re talking about kisses..."
Before he could process what was happening, you placed your hands on his torso—heat and firmness under the thin fabric of his T-shirt—and took another step closer. Your fingers lazily running along his sides.
"...maybe you want one too?"
You saw the instant transformation in him. The confident smile faltered, his eyes widened slightly behind his glasses, and color rose on his cheeks with almost comical speed.
"W-what?" he stammered, his voice faltering like someone had pressed the wrong key.
You seized the advantage, tilting your head slightly as if considering the idea seriously. "You heard me. Just tell me, Dave. I’m generous like that."
The poster started to drop—finally—but by this point, you didn’t even care about it anymore. All that mattered was the growing heat between you, the way his eyes couldn’t decide whether to look at yours or your lips, and the way his breath had become slightly irregular.
"I... I mean..." he tried, but the words tangled in an adorable way.
"Dave," you interrupted, your voice a little firmer, but with a hint of tenderness.
"Hm?"
"I don’t want the poster," you admitted, letting your hands slide a little higher up his chest. "I just want you."
The silence that followed was thick, but in a way that made the air feel electrified. He finally let go of the poster, letting it fall to the floor carelessly, while his arms came around your waist, pulling you gently closer.
"You don’t play fair," he murmured, his voice husky, but with that mischievous smile still present.
"I know," you replied, leaning in his direction until your lips finally met.
The kiss was slow but full of intention, a mix of quiet laughs and a passion that seemed to overflow with every touch. It was a little clumsy, as always, but that only made you fall for him more.
When you finally pulled apart, he was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes sparkling in a way that made everything around you feel lighter.
"You won this time," he said, with a theatrical sigh.
"I always win," you retorted, giving his chest a little push before turning to grab the forgotten poster.
But as you crouched down to pick it up, he spoke again:
"Just so it’s recorded... I definitely wouldn’t mind being defeated like that more often."
And in that moment, as you laughed and tried to look indifferent, all you could think about was how Dave Lizewski was your favorite victory.
#romance#dave lizewski#dave lizewski x y/n#dave lizewski fanfiction#dave lizewski x you#dave lizewski x reader#dave x you#dave x reader#writers on tumblr#ao3 writer#aaron taylor johnson#fluffy#atj#fanfiction#atj x reader#kick ass#kick ass x you#kick ass x reader#writing#fluff
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i feel like people who don’t like solas or solavellan have such a warped perspective of what the romance is and how fans of it actually engage in it. like i’ve seen a lot of (most likely het dudes lol) on reddit say they tried it to see what the fuss was but felt it was “demeaning” and i’ve seen it described as literally a horror story where solas is manipulating and using and lying to a young impressionable lavellan who gives up her entire identity for him and becomes a complete doormat to all the awful shit he does. that’s never been my experience and i kinda just want to ramble about how i see it and what i find romantic about it?
so full disclosure, if veilguard had come out a few years ago with how they portrayed lavellan and solavellan i might have been pretty disappointed. i think there is a subset of the solavellan fanbase that likes the wolf/halla or student/professor thing and they play their lavellan younger and agreeing almost without question to everything solas says. i see the appeal but i never played my lavellan that way and i really like the dynamic of it when lavellan actually goes against his advice at times. solas is a character that needs to have his preconceived biases questioned. especially in inquisition when he’s still coming to terms with the fact that the modern people of thedas are in fact people lol. so i was concerned at the prospect of my lavellan being taken out of my hands and having to listen to her make excuses for him and submit to everything he says. (which tbf i don’t think is how she actually comes across in dav, but that was a worry.)
however when i replayed my canon dai run this year, i realized i was closer to the age i always saw my lavellan as (early 30s), and as my lavellan is probably the bioware pc i’ve always played closest to my own personality, i took the opportunity to tweak her a bit and make some different choices. i’ve (hopefully lol) matured and grown a lot since i was 24 and so rather than going for the snarky sarcastic cool girl vibes i opted to play her with more diplomatic and caring choices. it made me see the solas romance in a completely new light. rather than some sort of student/professor dynamic or a pride and prejudice-esque rivals-to-lovers vibe where lavellan is fighting for his respect the whole time, what stuck out to me was how much their connection builds simply because lavellan is kind to solas. she hears him out when he wants to give his opinions and advice, she respects his expertise on the fade and spirits, and she offers him comfort and friendship when she sees he needs it. she impresses him because he finds himself wanting to indulge in her closeness. he finds a connection to someone he never expected to and it makes him rethink everything about the broken state he put the world in.
it’s worth noting that lavellan is always making the first move. she kisses him first, she pursues him. he tries to brush off the kiss as a spontaneous lapse in judgement and she doesn't let him. he only ever gives in to her advances, he doesn't make them himself. he calls their relationship "selfish" on his end. he knows he shouldn't be encouraging her but he can't help but long for her companionship. that being said though if lavellan shuts it down he respects it. he probably feels a little relief because the temptation is now out of his hands lol.
i feel like there’s also this perception that he’s constantly shitting on the dalish while lavellan just has to put up with it and that alone is reason enough to find the relationship demeaning. he mentions the dalish in one optional conversation chain where you ask him for his opinion on the state of the elves and then in the balcony scene where he realizes he’s misjudged the inquisitor after his personal quest. in both instances, lavellan can stick up for the dalish. in the optional conversation, lavellan can say that if solas had a bad experience with a clan once (which we know from dav is exactly what happened lol), that she’d like to correct that misunderstanding about her people.
it's worth noting as well that lavellan doesn't know solas is the dread wolf when he's criticizing the dalish. from her perspective, he's essentially a city-born elf who had some dalish look down their nose at him for not being a "true elf" like they are, something that not only happens in canon throughout the games and lavellan would be aware of, but literally happens to solas specifically, right in front of you. he doesn't say a single word to mihris and she doesn't know a thing about him other than his face is bare and thus feels comfortable referring to him with what is essentially a slur. but rather than confront her directly about it he just passive aggressively speaks to her in elven almost exclusively for the rest of the quest lol.
far from the dynamic being that lavellan is just putting up with someone talking down to her about her culture, i think it's reasonable to see her view is more that they're both members of the same marginalized group, but from different cultures. his position in criticizing the dalish is not punching down it's lateral. she loves her culture, but is able to recognize it has flaws and not every member in it treats other cultures well, particularly even when they're from the same marginalized group. (and it's also just really meaningful that the first "flirt" option you get in the solas romance is lavellan recognizing that solas has put himself in a very vulnerable position as an elven apostate joining the chantry-led inquisition and with whatever power she has she will make sure that it's not held against him.)
i do think the writing conveys that he does have his mind changed about the dalish at least a little bit, but one of his pet peeves is when people are ignorant and refuse any information that challenges their worldview. as a manifested wisdom spirit, it is a particular sticking point to him to not be listened to when he is providing knowledge. i think criticism of how he is towards the dalish is lacking without taking into account his nature as a spirit. obvs we didn’t know that in dai but we do now. when wisdom isn't listened to it turns to pride. "i told you so," "i'll prove i'm right," "you should have listened to me," etc. etc. he got his feelings hurt when the dalish didn't believe him (and according to dav, literally tried to kill him) and his ego's held a grudge ever since.
when it comes to the vallaslin, to me it’s less about solas wanting to dismantle part of dalish culture (he offers no actual opinion on the dalish during that scene) and more that it clearly bothers him a lot that he fought so hard to free the elves from slavery and the one community of elves that’s closest to the descendants of the people he wanted to free still wears tattoos honoring the very tyrants he wanted to free them from. if lavellan says she wants to keep them and that the dalish reclaimed them and they mean something else to her, he doesn’t argue. i actually don’t like that solas’s post breakup banter with cole implies that lavellan thinks he might have broken up with her over the vallaslin. it’s putting thoughts in the head of my character that i personally don’t see her having. the way the breakup plays out, there’s not a single indication that it has anything to do with the vallaslin. i like to pick the “i believe in us” option because it shows lavellan having some idea that there’s something solas isn’t telling her and that’s the main reason he’s walking away. and the irony of course is that we learn in dav that that was the moment he came the closest to just giving up everything to just be with her.
so when i played through dav with my solasmance lavellan and she talks about what drew her to him it all just felt so right. he was kind and wise and sad but he made her feel like she was the only thing that mattered to him. (and that was very almost true!) there was a passion and intensity to their relationship that made her think he was the person she wanted to be with forever. when she says "i thought i would have followed anywhere he asked me to" you could read it as her saying she would have joined him in tearing down the veil if he asked and depending on your lavellan that might be true (though in the next bit she talks about how she would have been trying to change his mind anyways). but you could also read it as what her mindset was while she was with him during dai. before joining the inquisition, she knew him to be someone that traveled the world looking for lost secrets and history. why would she not have wanted to join him in that? is that not something you do when you're in love with someone?
something else that i find really compelling about solavellan is how solas relates to the inquisitor (not just lavellan) as a figurehead stripped of their personal identity. he knows from personal experience exactly what that's like. in the romances (not just solas's), the inquisitor is able to find someone that knows and cares for them for who they are, not what they represent. this aspect of the inquisitor's arc is honestly why i like keeping the vallaslin. my lavellan wants people to be able to look at her as the inquisitor and see a dalish elf. it's one small act of defiance and in reclaiming her own narrative. so thinking about what she might want to do after her responsibilities to the inquisition are over, it's reasonable to think she might want to just go wherever solas goes? because she loves him and feels like herself around him. even her asking him to let her come with him in trespasser feels more motivated by the fact that lavellan sees solas isolating himself and closing himself off and she's sad about it because she cares about him. that was why she wanted to grow close to him in the first place.
and i genuinely don't think it's all that wild that lavellan still holds a torch for solas 10 years later. i personally was friends with this guy in high school i always had a crush on, and towards the end of senior year it looked like it could actually end up turning into something. but then he immediately left for a summer abroad after graduation and eventually moved out of the country full time for school. we kept in touch off and on and caught up when he was in town, but nothing romantic ever happened. for years after i would catch myself thinking every so often what could have been and what he was up to. for solavellan, they were actually together. they had mutually expressed feelings and though their time together was maybe a few months at most, it was intense and passionate. they split up not because anyone's feelings changed, but because of solas's baggage. it's really not unrealistic for lavellan to continue wondering to herself what would have happened if he had been honest with her sooner. if she could have convinced him to change course. and it's not like she has the luxury of retiring and just not thinking about him anymore. that's not a conscious manipulation on solas's part to string her along, that's just the reality of their situation.
and even with all that in mind, in dav lavellan is still able to have the self-awareness to understand that the good in him that she believes exists and all that they had together and what she meant to him could all just be wishful thinking on her part. that she's giving him the benefit of the doubt "imagining his broken heart" when he doesn't deserve it because it makes her feel less foolish. she's not blindly faithful to him. i just loved everything about that scene and every word out of my lavellan's mouth felt spot on and perfect for how i saw their relationship. i could not have been more relieved lol.
as for the ending, i really really dislike the bad faith read that the only thing that matters is mythal and that he somehow loves mythal more and if that weren't true then lavellan alone would be able to convince him to stop. varric says about solas that he wants to be a hero, but it's easier for him to play the villain because it means he didn't fail, everything bad he's done is a choice. once you've done one bad thing, betrayed one friend, manipulated and sacrificed some pawns, committed one lil genocide, etc. lmao, it becomes easier to do it again. you've already crossed your moral event horizon and now you just have to find an end that justifies the means of all your misdeeds. what i've said about solas before is that what's frustrating is that he does genuinely feel remorse about the shit he does, but he needs to believe it's necessary and he will keep doing it. he needs to believe it will all be worth it in the end. it's not that he thinks feeling sorry makes up for it necessarily, but that he had to do it. he had to be the one taking on all of the bad things to hopefully one day do a good thing and it will all work out.
(as a side note when solas says "i would not have you see what i become" in trespasser i always thought that meant he was going to resort to some awful corruptive magic or something but it turns out what he actually meant was "i'm about to be a real asshole and do some incredibly awful things and i don't want you to see that side of me" which is much sadder.)
so when rook says "you don't have to do this" solas counters with "i've betrayed and fucked over and killed so many people who trusted me and if i stop i will have done that for nothing." so then the inquisitor jumps in with "as one of those people, i'm telling you that you can stop." but then we get to the heart of it. he thinks he failed mythal when she died the first time and was unwilling to listen to her as flemeth. he needs to make that mean something. he needs to justify to himself what mythal made him into. so he needs to hear from his mythal, not morrigan's mythal who has the benefit of the wisdom and hindsight centuries of living among mortals gave her, but his mythal, the one closest to who she was when she died that what he is is broken. that she's the one that broke him and he alone doesn't have to bear the weight of everything he did because of her. it's not about loving her, it's about the specific relationship he had with her. with that baggage unpacked, he's not only able to let go of his prideful need to prove himself right by tearing down the veil, he's also free to choose what he always really wanted: lavellan.
and still! yet again! he does not ask or assume anything on her part. she offers! of her own free will. something that really rustles my jimmies about a lot of solavellan criticism is that people act like lavellan has no agency. that she couldn't possibly make the choices she does of her own accord and it has to be solas manipulating her. that has never rang true to me at all. she always made the first move. i think this more uncharitable read might unfortunately be encouraged by how many actual solavellan shippers play into the wolf/halla thing but i personally don't think that's the dynamic that weekes actually wrote. it is lavellan that pursues solas, not the other way around. and weekes was honestly so careful in how they wrote the romance so that when solas's identity and plans are revealed, it doesn't feel like he intentionally tricked you or took advantage. i actually really like the ambiguity of whether or not they slept together because to me it does feel like that's a line solas wouldn't cross, but i get why that doesn't matter as much to other solasmancers.
i also think there's this perception that solavellan is a ship with an unhealthy power dynamic that needs to be "fixed" in some way or at the very least apologized for before you're allowed to like it. for me it's honestly kind of the appeal? not that there's some goofy dom/sub thing going on lol but that in spite of how "superior" solas may or may not feel to lavellan and the modern elves, he still falls hook line and fucking sinker for her. lavellan has so much more power in the relationship than she realizes. she changes his entire perspective on modern elves and his ultimate goals so bad he had a complete crisis of faith and had to run as far away from her as he could. how could he have broken the world so badly he needs to catastrophically break it again to fix it if it could create someone like her? someone he wants and cares for so desperately? it's the push and pull of him trying to stay away but selfishly indulging as long as he can that's so juicy to me! it's so good and i just wish other people could see that, even if they don't care for the character.
anyways. i don't have a conclusion. i don't want anyone to think i'm vaguing about them. this is honestly the result of some thoughts that have been brewing for a while and a lot of common criticisms i've seen over the years. i didn't want to respond directly to anyone in particular bc i learned my lesson about not doing that waaay back in the shenko fandom iykyk lol. i just really like the ship! i think it's tragic and romantic and lovely and poetic and mythological and all that good stuff. it humanizes solas as a character and makes me think about empathy and compassion and how much faith you can have in someone if you love them. or how it might feel to sacrifice love for something you think you need to do, only to ultimately realize you never did and find that love patiently waiting for you to get your shit together. or to love someone and know they love you back and that they love you so much they had to leave or they would have given up everything they thought they needed for you and then to be able to actually get through to them and get them back. "she could save him if he'd only just let her"! it's a very niche wish fulfillment fantasy and it's me! i'm the fan being serviced!
#madelyn rambles#solavellan#veilguard spoilers#not sorry this is so long lol#i just have a lot of feelings!#and honestly i'm not trying to convert anyone#but while i do find it interesting to read less charitable reads on solas and solavellan#i think it's worth actually being able to communicate why the character and ship work for you#instead of just being antagonistic to someone with a different perspective#or sending them gore videos on twitter to harrass them apparently?#datwt's wild y'all don't even want to know
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