#their obnoxious takes on Dream still have nothing to do with my post tho

[prisonpodcast]

Stupidest thing to happen to me on twitter was when people were coming onto MY post that I made defending the dsmp, telling other people to not make it about Dream bc he contributed nothing LIKE MF ITS MY POST !! Defending Dream is ALWAYS allowed on all my posts like who tf even are you 😭😭

It’s also funny bc the only people even bringing Dream up were people shitting on him for “not contributing” to the dsmp or whatever like no one except for antis were even making my post about him like idfk who they’re even yelling at

[booksweet]

Real

Starring: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

Synopsis: what If your favorite character became real the moment you needed the most?

Contents: fluffy, probably shibuya incident arc spoilers (not too much), grammar mistakes

word count: 1.368

A/N: helloo, guys! It's Friday and the time has come for me to post again! This story came up because I'm reading (suffering) shibuya incident arc since Monday and it's been HARD, so it may be the aftereffects of 20 chapters read and a lot of crying and sobbing. Hope you like it!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

main navi | masterlist

She was laying on her bed, not really in a peacefully way once she was reading one of her favorite stories and all the plot was driving her to hell and back. She knew it would be bad, it would be terrible, but no one warned her it was THAT BAD. She couldn't help but just cry after all that happened, she felt his pain and hurt through the pages, even though he was the strongest, he was still human. He was still capable of feeling sadness, pain, and grief.

She knew he was just a fictional character, but to her he was more. She loved him in a way she wished he was real, he was a fictional character tho, and hardly he would become real.

Still, she loved Gojo Satoru with all her heart, evertyhing in him enchanted her, from how he cared about his students to his cocky personality. She knew that her friends couldn't understand how much she cared about him, he didn't even exist, how could he affect her in so many ways?

Yet, there she was, wrapped in the sheets of her bed and in her pajamas while reading that manga, thank God it was late night and she was alone at home, otherwise someone would have come by to check her out - and the person would have a little surprise, seeing her with watery eyes and her red stuffy nose. How come just an arc like this one destroy her like that? How come?

"I can't read it anymore" She mumbled, leaving out a soft sneeze. "I'll finish it tomorrow. This arc is going to be my end."

And after pressing slightly the tip of her nose, she fell asleep slowly, head laying on her pillows, driving her to unknown dream places related to what happened to Gojo and the odd future of shibuya incident arc.

"Who are you?" she heard the voice before open her eyes, she felt a sweet air cherishing her face telling that there was someone closer to her. The first thing she thought was that seh was still sleeping and she was dreaming vividly.

How come I can feel anyone like this? She thought in panic. A man trespassed my house and he is in my room, I'm alone...

"Won't you open your eyes? I know you're awake" He said softly seeming to feel her fear. "I really need some answers, and you're the only one I have."

She almost yelled once she opened her eyes. Almost. Screaming requires air in her lungs, air that ran out of her when she looked at him. A man who was pretty much similar to her favorite character... Gojo? Satoru?

"This must be a dream, I am dreaming" She closed her eyes again, sheets upon her face. "This must be a dream, he's a fictional character-"

"Uh... I'm not?" He said and she could hear confusion in his tone. "Last time I checked, I'm a man in bone and flesh."

"Oh, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming..." She pinched her arms, her cheeks, but she wouldn't wake. "Why am I not wakening?"

"Is this... because... you are already awake?" he said, and she looked at him again. Still not believing her eyes. It's not been a long time since she was crying over his sealing at the prison realm and now this?

"How?" She was out of words, the one she... loves? Her comfort character was right beside her as confused as ever, and handsome as hell. "You're more beautiful in person..." She mumbled.

"First: Yes, I am." He said with a smirk growing on his face, eyes still covered by his blindfold. "Second: I don't really know what happened, I thought this was the prison realm, but..." He pinched the tip of his nose with frustation and then looked at her, she felt her body warming as he was fully concentrated on her. "Prison realm only accepts one prisoner by turn, so once I saw you sleeping there, I realized I wasn't really trapped in there. Then where am I? Who are you?"

"O-oh I'm-" She tried to say, but the words wouldn't come out, stuttering as she was right now. She shook her head, If this is real, I have to recompose myself. "I'm Y/N and... I don't know how to explain either, but you came into my word from that little book over there" His head turned out to the manga she put on her desk before sleeping. He kept staring it for a while in silence. And an unease feeling was rising down her throat. "Say something, please."

"To be honest, this is the first time I actually have nothing to say," the sound of his voice was a muffled noise. "Last thing I remember before appearing here I was in Shibuya, fighting and..." His body became stiff as a rock, the memories were hiting him like waves, waves of sadness and hurt.

"Yeah, I know..." And she really knew, in some ways, she felt his pain, and cried because of his broken eyes and she saw him realizing Getou's body was stolen, his best friend's body.

Here they were again in this obnoxious silence, she felt sadness arising from him. She coudn't take it. If this was real, she would do something to him try to forget the pain. Even if it is just for a moment.

"Hey," she called him, taking him out of his reveries. "Wanna go downstairs to have breakfast? You seem hungry." A smile started to grow wild upon his face, and she never felt such joy.

"I was thinking you'd never ask!" He stood up in a wink of an eye, and Oh God he is tall. "I'm going first, I see you need to change your clothes." Her face became red like a tomato, remembering she was still on her pajamas all this time, the shock made her forget about it. "Unless you want me to stay..." She tried to threw her pillow on him, but he was faster and a loud sound came from the closed door. Why was her heart beating so fast?

"So, how are you?" She tried to catch his attention once more. After she showered, reality came punching her in her face. It wasn't a dream, Gojo Satoru was real and he was at her home, drinking coffee with her. She tightened her hand's grip on her mug while waiting for his aswer. It was hard to resist trying pass her thingers through his white hair, touch his clothes, his arms just to prove once more his was real indeed.

"I don't know exactly" he said with a strange voice, Is he tired? She thought. "I'm not trapped at the prison realm, but at here. I still can't help the ones I care so... Yeah, I-"

A sudden hug made him stop with his words, she mindlessly held her arms around his torso, hugging him tight with tear in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She coudn't stop apologizing, he probably wouldn't understand but Who cares? He mattered to her, she didn't mind anything else.

"Y/N..."He held her back, arms around her shoulders and waist. It's so warm. "You don't need to..."

"But I feel to." She stopped again what he was saying. "I can feel your sadness from here, I can feel your pain. I don't know what's happening for you to come here, but still I care about you. I cared about even without known this would happen. And now, I'm caring more and more because I know you are real."

After a moment of silence that seemed like hours, he left out a soft smile "Okay, let me hug you then". With his right hand, he took off his blindfold and she was blessed by his stunning blue eyes. Eyes that can see everything. I could easily get lost...

"Then I will be here to find you again" He said hugging her tighter than ever, the smell of black coffee surrounding them. "I still don't know what I am doing here and why, but I know that if I'm with you, we'll discover it sooner than you think."

Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome 💛 Thanks for reading

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Not the future you want.

summary: You don’t want kids and that’s a deal breaker for Harry, until it isn’t.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: angst, happy ending tho.

a/n: long time no see!! I missed writing for y’all SO much but lately i’ve been so busy, here’s a little something i wrote after finishing all my homework, please tell me what you think!

You can find the rest of my masterlist here.

///

Y/n didn't know how they got here.

Not even ten minutes ago they were wrapped around the covers of Harry's bed after making love, both still naked and sweaty from the previous activities. Harry was showering her with kisses all over her face, paying special attention to her nose and lips. The silence that covered them was comfortable, warm.

Right now all she felt was cold, iced silence filling the room as Harry stared at her with startled eyes. Suddenly, the once safe space they had to feel comfortable being naked in front of the other, was long gone and replaced with an awkwardness in the air. Y/n pulled the covers up to her chest, sitting down on the bed as she watched Harry do the same.

"What did you say?" He said. Although he heard it the first time she said it, he wished with all his being there was some kind of misunderstanding and he got it all wrong.

"Are you upset?" She asked cautiously. "Because you sound upset."

"No, I'm... Fuck, Y/n, I'm not upset." He passed a hand through his face. "Excuse me for being a little offended you don't want kids with me."

"I don't want kids with anyone, Harry." She said, growing upset. "Don't take it personally." Y/n started to look for her clothes that currently were laying on the floor, knowing what was going to come.

"But... baby, why? wouldn't it be nice to have mini us running around?" He sounded out of breath like someone just kicked him right in the stomach. He figured he could at least try to convince her otherwise. "Imagine how cute our babies will look. They'd have your adorable nose, maybe my eyes..."

"H, I'm sorry... kids have never been in my plans, it isn't something that I want." She said slowly, not knowing how Harry will take it.

"Wouldn't you willing to at least try?"

Sighing, she shook her head. "I don't want to do that to my body. I've worked so hard to look the way I do and, honestly? Pregnancy takes a toll on you both mentally, and physically and I don't want that." Y/n got out of the bed dragging the covers with her as she grabbed her clothes and started to get dressed.

At that moment Harry didn't know that, what came out of his mouth next, would either save his relationship or end it for good. "That's so... shallow." He practically spat.

"Yeah? Try carrying a human being inside of you for nine months!"

"If I could I'd do it since you're being this selfish!"

"Am I being selfish?! Listen to yourself! I don't owe you any explanation regardless of what I want and don't want to do with my body!" She finished putting her clothes on, silently thanking herself for wearing a dress and make it easier to get dressed in between all this mess. "I am not a baby machine, Harry. I don't exist just to get pregnant and be a fucking mother. If you want a baby so badly, then find someone who does as well!"

"But I love you!" He said, not realizing he was being childish.

"Then we can get a pet! It's the same responsibility."

"I can't believe you just compared a human being to a pet, Y/N! Don't be so stupid!" He threw his hands in the air.

"I honestly don't know what you want me to tell you." Y/n crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm sorry that you feel that way but I'm not changing my mind. I understand if..."

"I need time to... think."

"H..." She tried taking a step closer to him, but he backed off.

"Leave, please."

She didn't know if that was going to be the end of their relationship, and she hoped it wasn't. However, guessing by the look on Harry's face, this was it.

//

Harry's been miserable. He thought he'd only feel like these the first months after breaking up with Y/n but as the fifth month rolled in, he realized there was no way he'd ever get her out of his head... and out of his heart.

Even though he stopped crying in the shower in month three, he was still unable to go to the same places he used to go with her, his heart hurting too much for all the memories that hit him right in the face as he walks into the coffee shop they used to go to every Friday, or the place on the park they used to sit on after buying ice cream from the lovely old man who always gave Y/n a flower. He was slowly losing his mind and everyone around him could tell exactly what was happening. He missed Y/n.

The problem was, he took way too long to realize he made a mistake, probably the most tremendous one of his entire life. He couldn't stop thinking that, if he answered those calls he declined from her, the love of his life would most likely be wrapped around a blanket in his living room, watching the notebook for the millionth time as they cuddled closer and closer to each other. She always let Harry chose the movie, despite she always knew what his choice would be and although she used to get bored at the movie, after a few times watching it with Harry, she grew to like it.

That was who she is. She's always pleasing everyone else, often growing upset when she can get the people around her what they wanted. And that included Harry. She used to put him and whatever he wanted first, always. If Harry wanted to go out, they'd go out. If he wanted to stay in, they'd stay in. And deep down, Harry knew that the reason why he lashed out at her he way he did seven months ago, it was because he knew Y/n wouldn't be able to fulfill the one dream he wanted the most. Or at least, the dream he thought he wanted the most because when his anger went down and he was able to see clearly, he realized there wasn't anything in this world he wanted more than to be with her, and that if he ever went and married another woman just to be a father, that baby wouldn't be half the love of his life, therefore nothing would be perfect and his life wouldn't be as happy as he was when he was with Y/n.

"You have to get out of bed, H." Gemma said as she opened the curtains of the bedroom, making him let out a groan. "Although you're an asshole, it hurts me to see you like this."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Gem." His words came out muffled as his face was still pressed to the pillow. The one from the side Y/N used to sleep on.

"That wasn't a pep talk, knobhead." She sat at the edge of the bed. "I'm just tired of seeing you like this, Har. You fucked up, stop mopping around and own your mistake."

"She hates me."

"She has every reason to," Harry gave her a dirty look. "but, I don't think she does. You know her, she loved you more than anything."

"Yeah, she really did." Harry's eyes filled with a new wave of tears and he choked a sob. "I was so wrong, Gem. I can't believe I yelled at her the way I did." He cried. "I had the love of my life and I made her leave." Now he sobbed.

His sister sighed. Although it was very clear who's fault was, she couldn't help but feel bad for his baby brother. Everyone could see how happy they made each other, always saying they were it for the other. And they were true. That was, of course, until Harry fucked up.

"I'm telling you this because I love you," She started. "You have to move on. It's been five months, H. You made it very clear you both wanted different things, and that's okay. But you have to accept that."

"I don't mean it anymore!"

"It doesn't matter. You meant it back then, and you're not gonna change anything staying in bed and crying all day."

"You're right." He suddenly sat up, pulling the cover off of him. "I should go see her."

"No, that's not-"

"You're a genius, Gem." Harry cupped her face and gave her an obnoxious kiss on the cheek.

"Ew!"

"I will get her back!" He jumped out of the bed and trotted to his walk-in closet, stripping out of his pajamas and into whatever pants and shirt he found. "I'll apologize and she will understand, right?"

"Baby brother, I think you're being a little too optimistic." Gemma stood up and walked towards him. "Don't be stupid, an 'I'm sorry' will not fix anything. Also, you don't even know where to find her, or how is she... or who she's with." Harry narrowed his eyes at her. "What? You have to consider all the options."

"I check her Instagram every day, she's not dating anyone."

"She can hide posts and stories from you, dumbass." She crossed her arms. "And every day? Creep."

Harry sticks his tongue out at her. "I also check her friend's profiles, believe me, she's single. And I'm gonna win her back."

"Harry," Gemma started, but he was already out of the run and running down the stairs. "Wait! Where are you going?"

"To her house!" He yelled back from the bottom of the stairs, grabbing his keys.

"Hang on, I'll take you!"

"What, really?" He stopped his tracks, turning around to face his sister.

"If you suffer from humiliation, I have to videotape it." She smirked, grabbing her purse and opening the front door.

"You're horrible."

"Chop, chop! Let's go, Romeo."

//

"I..." Hiccup. "I hate..." Hiccup. "... Men." Hiccup. "But I love you, Nolan."

"Alright, It's three in the afternoon, Y/n/n. Cut the tequila."

"What?!" She gasped. "It's never too early for tequila." She raised her finger at her best friend.

"C'mon, darling. Let's get you into the shower. Hannah should be here soon too."

"I love you guys." She said as Nolan practically carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom. "And I love Harry."

He sighed, finally entering the room, sitting Y/n on her bed where he immediately collapsed. "I know you do, sweetheart. Now, I want you in the bathroom."

She groaned, extending her hands at him. Nolan rolled his eyes but grabbed her hands to pull from her. He didn't know how she managed to get this drunk at three o'clock, but then again after five months of pretending to be okay, a breakdown was meant to happen sooner or later.

"You're the bestest friend ever."

"Mhm, repeat that when you're sober." Closing the door behind him, he helped her take her clothes off.

"Is Marcus mad at me because you left him to come here?" She asked, pouting. Marcus was Nolan's boyfriend.

"Of course not, don't be silly. He wants to take you out tonight though."

"Yes! Thousand times yes. Count. Me. In."

"What you want is your head on the toilet all night, don't you?" Y/N stepped into the shower but let out a squeal when she felt the cold water hit her skin.

"Let me out, let me out."

"Nope, we need to sober you up so you stay there." He leaned on the wall, waiting for her with a towel in his hands.

After a quick shower, Nolan wrapped her in the fluffy towel and left the room to go downstairs, he figured Y/n could handle herself for a bit while he waited for Hannah to arrive with food. He hasn't seen her this drunk since the day she and Harry broke up, so she still had a lot to let out.

There was a knock on the door and Nolan hurried to open it, thinking Hannah was finally here. To his surprise, instead of their blonde friend being there with loads of food for them to eat, Harry Styles was waiting on the other side of the door, holding the biggest bouquet of pink roses he's ever seen before.

"No, handsome. Go back to where you came from."

"C'mon, Nolan. Is she home?"

"Nope." Nolan crossed his arms, trying to look more intimidating. "She's out there, living her best life."

"Then why are you here?"

The blonde man opened his mouth then closed it again. "None of your business. Look, Harry, let it go. Do you seriously think showing up here five months after with a huge bouquet of flowers will magically fix everything?"

"I need to talk to Y/n, please. I-I messed up, okay? I was horrible to her and I know it, but I want to make it right."

He sighed. "Right now is not a good time, trust me." Harry frowned. "Do you want my advice? Move on."

With that, he closed the door on his face and returned to the living room. He was not going to allow his best friend to get her heart broken all over again over a pair of pretty eyes.

//

"When you said we'd be going out, I thought you meant to get fucked up, not to sing karaoke." Y/N said as she took a long sip of her drink, resting her cheek on her palm.

"Who says we can't do both here? Besides, I'll be fun." Marcus said.

"I don't sing, my loves. I came for the alcohol." Hannah finished her drink and stood up to walk to the bar to get another one.

"You're alcoholics, both of you."

"I call it, drown in your own sorrow."

"Cheers for that."

After a few rounds, Nolan was up serenading Marcus, completely out of key but no one cared since they were all already a little bit tipsy. Y/N was having a great time with her friends, completely forgetting the reason why she got drunk at three in the afternoon. No one knew what she did to not be hungover right now, but nonetheless, they were glad she was there having fun too.

That was until Nolan noticed Harry walk into the bar.

"Pst, Han." He whispered. "Wait ten seconds then turn around."

She did what he said. "Oh, so he did come."

"Wait, what?!" he whispered-yelled.

"I told him we'd be here." She shrugged.

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because they need to talk." Nolan rolled his eyes. "Cut the crap, you know I'm right. Y/n deserves an apology and Harry has one, easy peasy."

"You forgot the part where he broke her heart."

"Hey, I'm not defending him. However, they're crazy for each other and unless they talk things out, we'll have our best friend become an alcoholic."

"What are you two gossiping about?" Y/n said, returning to the table after going to the bathroom.

"About how I need another drink!" Hannah exclaimed.

"Ugh, me too. I'll go this time." She got up again.

"Wait!" Nolan grabbed her hand but Hannah kicked him under the table, making him groan.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yes. Can you bring me one too?"

"I got you, babes."

She walked to the bar while humming the song someone was singing up there. "Oop." Y/n tripped over her own feet but before she could fell face down on the floor, someone wrapped a hand around her forearm. "Oh, thank you..." She looked up to see the stranger who saved her and her breath hitched when she saw him. "Harry."

"Hey, love."

"What... how-? Wait, don't call me love!" She crossed her arms, annoyed.

"Y/n, wait, please. We need to talk."

"Oh, no, no. We-" She signaled the space between them. "Have nothing to talk about."

"Listen to me, please. I know you don't have to, and I know that I was horrible and behaved like a proper dick five months ago, but I want to apologize to you, I'm begging you."

She sighed. She looked into his eyes and saw a flash of hurt and regret, his hair also looked a mess and he looked like he hasn't shaved in a while. Maybe he's been feeling as bad as her. Deep down, she hoped he has.

"Five minutes, then I'm gone."

Harry wasted no time and pulled her towards the bathrooms, entering the ladies one and double-checking it was empty before locking the door. "First of all, you have no idea how much I've missed you." She opened her mouth, probably to throw a sarcastic comment but he interrupted her. "Let me finish, please. Last time I saw you... I wasn't nice, at all. I lashed out at you for no reason, honestly. You were right, I've got no say in whatever you want to do with your body. I was a brat and I was mad at... honestly, I don't know what I was mad about. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this, but I don't need anyone else if I have you, Y/n. You're the love of my life and-" He grabbed her hands. "I love you with my whole heart. If kids isn't something you want, then we don't need it, baby."

"Harry, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Excuse me?"

"You love kids! I know you've always wanted to be a father, and you'll be a great one, one day. You deserve to have the future you've always dreamt of having." She offered him a tiny smile. "I'm not the future that you want, H."

"Y/n, listen to me, you're my dream. You, no one else."

"If we stayed together, one day you're gonna wake up and realize you missed your opportunity of having a family of your own and you're gonna hate me forever."

"Of course not." He said, offended. "How could you say that? I could never, never hate you. I'd hate my life if you weren't in it."

"We want different things. And despite me knowing that, I still walked into this relationship because I was selfish. Selfish because I thought you... you would change your mind."

"You're the most selfless person I've ever known, my love. You're not selfish, I'm an asshole. I didn't listen to you because I always want everything to be my way. But we're a team, we got each other. We don't need anything else."

At this point, Harry was ready to drop on his knees and beg for forgiveness. He was trying so hard to not start sobbing right there, but Y/n looked like she's made up her mind and he felt like his heart was breaking more and more as the minutes passed. He didn't know what else to say to convince her to be with him, and that terrified him.

"I don't know..."

"Please, give me one more chance. Please, baby."

Y/n was really trying to think this through. On one hand, she missed him more than anything, and she's been miserable these past months without her, no matter how much she tried to put on a happy face for everyone around her. On the other hand, she felt like she needed to let Harry go so he could be happy with someone else, someone who shared the same dreams and plans as him. Her blood boiled at the last part, feeling jealous of even thinking about Harry, his Harry, being with someone else.

She had him right in front of her on a silver plate, ready to rebuild their relationship because he loved her too much to let her go.

"I really missed you." She finally collapsed into his arms, holding him tightly. "And I'm so scared of losing you."

"You're not gonna lose me. Not now, not ever. You're stuck with me, okay?" He cupped her cheeks, looking at her straight in the eye. Her eyes were filled with tears but a little smile was forming on her face. "My pretty baby. I love you so so much and I'm so excited to spend my life with you."

"I love you too, I can't wait to be with you forever."

[magioftheseas]

Lotus-eater machine with World Destroyer x Nagito for your bingo meme? I think this prompt really fits them.

SORRY FOR THE WAIT, ANON, OH MY GOD.

Anyway, for the @badthingshappenbingo whoaaaaa and cross-posted to Ao3 here. It’s still pretty short tho. Sorry.

Warnings: Mentioned instances of violence. But it’s pretty mild for a danganronpa fic, even based on the sdr2.5 ova.

For as long as his life had been bright and dazzling, there’s always been a shadow looming over his shoulder. A blight always threatening to eclipse the sunshine, and something that he had to continually ignore to the best of his abilities. He doesn’t know when, exactly or why—but it’s just something he has learned to live with.

“That is a deception,” the shadow murmurs to him, gripping his shoulders. “You truly are so troublesome.”

The shadow was an annoyance. But, it’s fine. No matter what the shadow says, the world remained bright and sparkling as it was supposed to.

As it had to.

--

“Komaeda!” Souda is waving at him frantically, with a grin splitting his face wide open.

(Not like how when the shadow had ripped his jaw clean off just the other day—)

“We’re going to the arcade!” Souda announces, then, upbeat as ever. Beaming like he should. “You, me, Kuzuryuu! We haven’t had the chance to hang out in way too long!”

“Idiot,” Kuzuryuu griped. “We see each other in class all the damn time.”

“That’s different!” Souda harrumphed before smirking. “Besides, you spend all of classtime making googly eyes at your girlfriend.”

“Wha—?!” Kuzuryuu’s face lit up, red and furious. “How many fucking times do I gotta tell you that it’s not like that?! Peko’s just a childhood friend of mine! Not... Not...” He trailed off into a flustered sputter. “N-Not my girlfriend...”

“How are things going with Sonia-san again?” Komaeda asks cheerfully, and Souda gets even brighter.

“She’s beautiful as always! You’d make Pekoyama a happy girl, too, if you weren’t such a coward, Kuzuryuu...”

“What was that?!” Kuzuryuu snapped heatedly. “You want to say that to my fucking face?!”

“Hey, come on, don’t get that serious, haha! I’m joking! We both know she’s already pretty happy!”

“O...Obviously... Idiot... What the hell ever, let’s just go.”

Komaeda giggled at them. Isn’t it nice? Isn’t this nice?

“Komaeda, what about you?” Souda wonders then. “Are you happy?”

“Of course!” He doesn’t hesitate. “Why wouldn’t I be? Oh, please don’t tell me it’s because I don’t have a girlfriend...”

“Please don’t tell him that,” Kuzuryuu deadpanned. “You know how he is.”

This time, Souda gets rattled, pinker than his hair.

“I-I wouldn’t! I get it, I do! I really, really, really—”

The shadow twists his head off, but it only lasts for a second.

“I do! I do get it!”

Kuzuryuu grunted, but he gave Komaeda the kind of supportive, considerate glance that he was so prone to. It made him happy, it really, truly did. Souda trying so hard also made him happy.

See, this world was perfect. Ideal. Even when people were confused or insecure, others were willing to support them and help them understand. And people always tried to do better, with little in the way to stop them. Determination and good intentions ran everything. Nothing more, nothing less.

People liked and accepted him, even if he wasn’t significant in the cosmic sense. And his own existence helped others. Wasn’t that wonderful? It really was wonderful, especially when at the arcade, him almost getting knocked out lead to Souda getting one of the best prizes.

Souda was cheering, Kuzuryuu helped him up graciously, and the shadow—the shadow’s stare bore into him, piercing under the drones of arcade machines and little pew, pew, pews from the several rounds of Galaga being played.

--

“See,” he says, holding a bag of ice to his head. “This world is perfect. I don’t need your interference.”

To make up for his injury, Souda bought him strawberry bubble tea. It’s pretty obnoxiously sweet, but it’s the thought that counts and he likes strawberry. It’s just fine. Kuzuryuu and Souda are bantering good-naturedly even as Komaeda stares down the shadow.

“It’s fine,” he insists. “Everything is fine. Not only is everyone getting what they need, I’m able to get them what they want. And nothing stands in our way.”

“Hmph.”

The shadow takes his drink, pinching at the straw as he sips from it. It’s such a ridiculous image that Komaeda wants to break into hysterical laughter, but he stops, stops, stops.

Across the street, there’s a happy couple sharing ice cream. It’s such a nostalgic image, one that makes him think of—of something. Something he can’t quite grasp. Under the eternally summer sun, where waves lapped along an endless beach. Wasn’t Mioda there playing a song? Weren’t his classmates playing in the water? All except for—

Komaeda blinked. Everything froze.

“Everyone gets what they need and you get them what they want,” the shadow drones. “But what about you? Isn’t there someone you want that this world won’t give you?”

Kuzuryuu and Souda have been scribbled out crudely. Even as Komaeda frantically tries to remake them, the images just get more and more muddled until they, too, become shadows. Shadow upon shadow upon shadow, staring him down with piercing red eyes. All with that same image.

“Komaeda,” one of the shadows says, then, but without a gaze at all. “What are you doing sitting by yourself? Don’t you get lonely?”

“I... I-It’s fine! It’s absolutely fine!” he exclaims quickly, forcing out a laugh. “Just seeing everyone else happy is enough for me. I don’t... I don’t need to ruin that happiness for them just to brazenly indulge. It’s enough...”

Everyone is carefree. There’s no need for wishes, for desires, for hope. Everything comes naturally, because people are so wonderfully capable. He doesn’t—

Then shadow before him shifts. In several forms. One he only passed by and only spared a glance. One that so brilliantly shot him down. The one that had been haunting him for so long, tearing everything else around him asunder. All in that same dark suit, until finally, they don something simpler. Warmer. A plain uniform consisting of a white shirt, a green tie, and dark pants. Komaeda’s stare bores into the heart-shaped pin on the breast pocket before going up and—

Ah.

The shadow smiles at him. Touches his cheek. It’s such a warm smile, contrasted against that amusingly prickly appearance. He’s always known that this person was so kind, so wonderful... How they press their forehead to his, humming softly.

How they disappear in an instance when Komaeda tries to cup one of their hands with his own.

“Komaeda?”

He blinks several times, coming to. Souda and Kuzuryuu are staring at him. They’re immediately worried. To be cared for like this is almost too much for his heart to take.

“Is everything alright?”

The shadow stares up at him, cold and knowing. Another shadow wraps its arms around his waist, holding him tight in ways he never dared to dream.

“Everything’s alright,” he lies, and his expression doesn’t even change when with a flick of the shadow’s wrist, both Souda and Kuzuryuu are slumped over and dead, blood pooling around their skulls. What a mess.

The shadow holding him squeezes him. Whispers his name, “Komaeda.” Pleads with him, “Wake up.”

Komaeda shuts his eyes, rebuilding the world once more.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn���t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren��t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[lorilu]

(Most) Dream SMP members as trolls

This is more of a joke than anything and I did it in like, 30 min on discord lmao, so don’t expect anything great or even a good grammar (I’m spanish, cannot write lol) but I found it extremely fun and I thought maybe someone wants to share what they think x member could be in the troll universe.

This is a light hearted post talking about to which blood cast they’d belong to, nothing else. Also, there are certain people I know more information about than others, so don’t be surprised if there are some I did not talk about, since I have so little information about them :3

Maybe dream is a fuchsia one? He is the ruler of everything and he's been shown to have great power over everyone, tho he might also either be a cerulean because manipulation, I actually think cerulean fits dream

Georgenotfound... Hmmmmm... pretty privileges here and there and sleeps a lot.... Weird dream stuff. He sounds like a lowblood that gets everything he wants because he has a higblood on his side so imma go and say he's maybe a rustblood in <> with dream, possibly

Sapnap, fire powers, he's a bronzeblood. I think it suits him, although instead of loving animals, he's more of the opposite......

Callahan....... I barely know anything about the guy. very quiet, a funny guy. i don't know why I picture him as a goldblood that has lost the ability to talk due to that golblood illness whose name I forgot

Awesamdude. This a hard one but not at all. Jadeblood. Children, he takes care of places people can't visit. it just fits. He's green too

Alyssa. i got no clue

Ponk. I barely know him either. Like. At all. But I know he steals sometimes? So maybe an oliveblood or a rustblood?

Badboyhalo. Extremely nice demon that gets scared easily and doesn't like bad language. he's an indigo. Why? He has some power over people and he has the profile, you know, some indigobloods have been shown to be pretty polite and well mannered. he's also strong irl and does shit like thrwing knifes, so indigoblood it is

Tommyinnit. Holy fuck a hard one. Rebel child that yells a lot and is incredibly obnoxious about everything he does. Extremely manipulated but still has his own ideas and desires. Hmmmmmm..... He's deffo a lowblood because come on it's impossible he ain't a lowblood. Part of me wants to say a rust, but he's way too demanding to be a rust.... Maybe a goldblood? I think it might fit

Tubbo. The guy is NOT  a lowblood. He's probs teal or more. Maybe oliveblood, but I think maybe he fits the quiet ceruleanblood role? He's pretty chaotic and is pretty interested in nukes, he's been also shown threatening people and I am starting to think he's a tealblood and it's so funny lmao

Fundy. Ooooffffffff. No one really cares about him, disliekd by most. Lots of pranks. he a fox. He must be a goldblood because computers. yup. He's an annoying goldblood

Punz. no idea

Purpled. I think he's a hitman, so oliveblood

Wilbur soot, at first I thought he might be high on the spectrum, maybe too a purpleblood level, but then I remember how hard dream fights against him and I thought "Maybe he's lower?" but I think imma stick to the purpleblood one because he's pretty much obsessed over an idea he has and lots of people followed him, not exactly a religion, but you get me. He also refuses to wear armor and he sort of reminds me of Gamzee when he lost his beliefs

Jschlatt. he's either a cerulean or a violetblood. I don't take criticism

Skeppy. What the fuck are you my friend. lots of pranks. Idk why I think he is a lowblood He's made of diamonds but he's susceptible to mind control. I think he might be like a goldblood or a bronzeblood?

Eret. Saw it one time and I can't change the thought of sewadweller eret. Can't change my mind. bye

Jack manifold. Red and blue hello goldblood

Niki, she's really caring and bakes things. Really soft. I assign you jadeblood because caverns

Quackity. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH MAN. I had this really clear before and now I forgot what it was but I know it was a highblood but I can't remember help ahahhahagjfdjashjs A TEALBLOOD HE IS A TEALBLOOD YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND IT FITS PERFECTLY SHUTUP

Karl jacobs. What the fuck time player. What are you. maybe.... hmmmm..... started a kingdom, is with quackity and sapnap. Memory boy.... Deffo not a lowblood. He might fit the tealblood thing with all his books?

Hbomb. I am scared of you. Rustblood

Technoblade. What do I assign you my guy. Violetblood Antfrost. He a cat so bronzeblood?

Philza. Philza, you immortal being. Everyone see's you as a father. I name you the head purpleblood of everything. Also, son like father pog

Connoreatspants you are a hard one because I don't know you that well, so I'll go and say you are an oliveblood because I feel like it

Puffy is either a ceruleanblood or a jadeblood and you can't change my mind

Vikkstar. Who?

Lazarbeam. Whox2?

Ranboo. You might be a purleblood too, or maybe a goldblood. I just feel like he has powers. Tho he might be a limeblood? You know, cause special. I think I'll go with purpleblood because enderman

Foolish. I feel like he is a fuchsia. WHy? Have you seen how RICH this man is? I believe he is a fuchsia that got out of the picture asap and decided to disguise as a rustblood or something. Also, dream brother pog (It's not canon but papa puffy and mama puffy go brrrrr so brothers it is)

Hannah rose. Plants go brrrrrrrr, so maybe a bronzeblood. That's all I know about her

Slimecicle. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN THE SMP. The hell are you?!?!?!? You weirdo!! You are deffo aaaa........ You are a PURPLEBLOOD. Why? He tends to follow people's beliefs

[winnersmut]

NSFW alphabet | HOONY

A - aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

after giving it his all, seunghoon doesn’t want to do much. he’ll prepare beforehand, making sure that there’s a warm rag within reach for him to help clean you up with. your skin against his is one of his favorite feelings in the world, so post- sex cuddling is absolutely necessary, with his head on your chest so he can listen to your heartbeat gradually slowing down

B - body part (their favorite body part of their partners)

he loves your… ass. when you sit on his lap and he can feel it pressed against him, when he’s lazily rubbing his hand over it (it’s comforting), when he’s spanking it, the list goes on

C - cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

inside of you! not only is he kinda territorial, but he’s also really into cum play. watching his cum leak out of you before fingering it back in? yeah, he loves that

D - dirty secret (self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he doesn’t really have an interest in pet play (he has a dog, everyone) but he’s been considering buying you a collar to wear in bed. he thinks it’d be hot being able to hold you by it, or pull you against him, not to mention how degrading it would be for you

E - experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s definitely got some experience. in fact, i’d say he’s the most experienced member. you’re in good hands with this one

G - goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

this is seunghoon we’re talking about, he’s such a goofball, especially with you. he can be very intimidating in bed, so he keeps things light and comforting for you sake unless he’s mad then good luck ur gonna need it

H - hair (how well groomed are they, etc)

manscaping is the least of his worries, not that he cares much to begin with. if you ask him, he will gladly trim things down, not that there’s an unbearable amount of hair to begin with

I - intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

seunghoon isn’t overtly romantic, but he makes sure his feelings are known; soft praise, holding your hands, or straight up telling you that he loves you. he’s more worried about making sure you’re both having fun – soft, vanilla sex isn’t really his thing

J - jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he’s never done this frequently, so the only time he really touches himself is when away and on the phone with you. he’s a fan of phone sex, but he doesn’t have to patience to masturbate with you in person. he’d much rather be inside of you

K - kink (one or more of their kinks)

as i’ve previously mentioned, seunghoon’s got a size kink. he loves to make you feel small beneath him, to lift you up and take you against the wall, “taking me so well, baby, every inch like a good little slut”

L - location (favorite places to do the do)

he actually really enjoys the living room!! it’s so easy to bend you over the couch, especially right after he gets home from whatever he had to do that day. plus, it’s out in the open, like public sex but still with the privacy of home

M - motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

seunghoon is surprisingly easy to turn on, but a sure-fire way to get him to touch you is to grind on him. he’ll act ignorant at first, not giving you the attention that you obviously want until he’s painfully hard or you properly ask for it

N - no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

sorry for my fellow pegging enthusiasts, but he will never let you do that. he’s very dominant so he isn’t going to give you that control over him or his pleasure

O - oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

seunghoon doesn’t have a preference, he likes giving and receiving. he’s so good at oral and he knows it; this is his favorite way to reward you if you’ve been good. when receiving, he loves to keep a tight grip on your hair, guiding your head and occasionally thrusting

P - pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc)

it depends, sometimes he’s like a fucking rabbit and sometimes he goes obnoxiously slow. he’s got ridiculous self control and likes to tease you until you’re on the verge of tears, begging him to go faster!!! and then he’ll go dizzyingly fast

Q - quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often)

quickies are okay, but he’d rather leave you high and dry. his favorite thing to do is tie your hands up and press a vibrator against you, leaving you like that until he returns to properly fuck you

R - risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc)

he loves trying new things with (on) you! spicing things up is necessary for seunghoon, because it keeps sex interesting and exciting. it’s like the ultimate trust test; do you trust me not to lose the key to these handcuffs? do you trust me not to drop you in the shower?

S - stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

he’s typically good for one mind-blowing round, which lasts anywhere from fifteen to twenty minutes (including time he spends teasing you). some nights he can go more than once as long as he catches a break in-between

T - toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he definitely collects toys, and his favorite is the vibrator he constantly tortures you with. there’s more, such as handcuffs and even a cock ring it never gets used tho smh, but the vibrator is his favorite

U - unfair (how much they like to tease)

do i even need to say it at this point? he loves to tease. from his tongue to his fingers to his cock, you’re never going to get anything with ease. he also loves to degrade you, or when you degrade yourself – seeing you blush turns him on

V - volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

he’s frustratingly quiet in bed. seunghoon won’t give any indication that he feels good other than the occasional low grunts that get louder when he cums

W - wildcard (random headcanon)

he’s got a bit of a superiority complex in bed. he wants to hear about how nobody can fuck you as good as him, how he’s the best and nothing can compare. praising him and degrading yourself is a major turn on and it boosts his ego

X - xray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

above average in both length and thickness. it’s perfect, literally a dream dick. not so big it’ll like rearrange your guts skfkaks but you’ll definitely be feeling it for hours afterwards. big dick hoon!

Y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

sex isn’t frequent, maybe twice a week at most. of course, if you’re needy then he’ll happily help you out but he doesn’t have that high of a sex drive. not the type to ask for sex, he just makes it known that he’s horny and if you’re not in the mood he’ll deal with it himself

Z - zzz (how fast they fall asleep afterwards)

he’s out like a LIGHT it’s almost impressive how fast he knocks out. he’ll quickly clean you both up, pull you into his chest and before you can even think of anything to say, his light snores are filling the room

[oppapi-tae-blog]

insomnium - 01/??

insomnium: dream, bad dream, vision, wakefulness

demon!yoongi vampire!taehyung

"don't underestimate us darling.. for we are the spawn of satan himself. ."

warnings: eventual smut

   *yoongi and tae will be speaking in latin for this first part ♥

this is for one of my bestest of friends Americus,, ily💕

"What a pretty sight.." the eyes of the creature skim over my face and body. He speaks in a language I can't understand and calls out a name. His pitch black eyes travel to a figure behind him. "She's all yours. Have your drink."

Another man steps out, just as pale as the other and he smirks. "My pleasure." It comes out, almost hiss-like. He opens his mouth to reveal his fangs and runs his tongue over them.

I stand frozen, too scared to move. I try to open my mouth to speak, but it's almost like my body is no longer under my control. All I can do is stare.

The creature with the fangs comes over to me in the blink of an eye, arm wrapped around my waist, lips against my neck. My heart skips a beat due to fear. "Don't worry darling.. It'll only hurt the first 5 seconds," His voice sent shivers down my spine. "I promise." He smirks and pierces his teeth through my skin.

I wake up to a phone call in a cold sweat. I glance around the room and find myself in the same place I always find myself after that same exact dream.. on the floor, huddled up in a ball-like form. I reach up to my neck to make sure it's okay and I let out a breath of relief when I feel no marks.

The breaths I take are sharp and short-lived. I sit up slowly and grab my phone and answer. I take a deep breath and try to forget the dream.

•

"What the fuck?" I make a face of disgust and push my bestfriend, Emily, away from me. "What?" Emily laughs. "They're good I swear! Just try it! C'mon Liz, they don't look that bad. They're good brownies!"

"This is what you called me at 3am for? Emily, it looks like actual dog shit, why would you ask me to try this? I thought someone was dying." I shake my head and turn to walk away. "I'm going home, I'm tired."

She called me and told me that there was an emergency and that someone was going to die. Being a good bestfriend that I am, I got out of bed, at 3am to be exact, and came over. If it was any other person, I would've told them to fuck off and deal with it themselves, I'm not in the mood to save lives right now, sorry.

It's not really a problem that she called at 3am, because it wasn't like I was sleeping anyways, just taking a nap. I was fine with that, but what ruined it was her shoving her plate of dog shit in front of my face as soon as I walked in.

"But I need to make sure they actually taste good by tomorrow or my boss will fire me," Emily frowns. "Pleaassee?"

"No, goodbye. Ask your, so handsome boyfriend, Hoseok, to try them, I'm sure he'll lie and say they taste good to make you feel better." I smile and wave goodbye. She waves back, still frowning. "Love you, Emily." I blow a sarcastic kiss that she responds with a flipped finger and many, many "naughty" words, ready to spill out.

"Thanks for nothing!" She yells out and I laugh.

She shuts the door and I walk to my car to go home.

Once I'm in my house, I immediately feel a strange air around me. If I were feeling like my normal self, I would freak out and leave that house and call the Ghostbusters, but for some reason my mind decides to convince me that it's nothing and I go upstairs to get my laptop from my room.

entry #26 To say I'm an asshole is an understatement. Assholes are dirty, smelly, unpleasant, disgusting, and weirdly shaped? I consider myself more like.. a sarcastic-toe. Here's why: I don't take things seriously, which tends to make the sarcastic side to myself come out regularly, (I know when to make a joke and how to be serious when I need to) and toe because.. nobody likes them. They're kinda just there to keep you balanced, but they're ugly. They're also almost always covered by socks and shoes. You don't see them much, but they're there. Get it?

It's weird to compare myself to a toe and I'm pretty sure nobody calls themselves one. Especially a sarcastic one.

Of course, people use it to insult themselves, I do too. Anyone could. But I bet you can't tell me anybody who has described themselves the way I just did with a toe.

Can you?

•

After I'm done typing I get a text from my friend Jungkook.

up for an early morning ghost hunt? ;)) - 4:07am

wtf jk go to sleep im not abt to get possessed at 4am - 4:08am

thanks tho - 4:08am

u wont get possessed i promise - 4:09am

i have the equipment to save u if u do anyways - 4:09am

no. - 4:10am

:( - 4:10am

Jungkook was always really weird and liked to chase demons down, even after I told them they didn't exist. I told him this up until I started having those dreams. Now, I'm not so sure.

I go onto Youtube to kill time, and watch Degrassi. I grab my headphones and I'm about to put them in until I hear a glass breaking in my kitchen.

I groan and frown. "Rivada, what the FUCK are you doing?"

I wait a couple of seconds until I get a reply.

"I was thirsty!" She yells back.

Rivada is the girl I've lived with for 6 months in this house. She's one of the most understanding, loving, kind person I've ever met. But, she's also extremely dumb and slow. Of course, this doesn't make me love her any less.

I mumble, "Dumbass."

"I can hear you Liz." She walks in and plops herself beside me and takes an earbud.

I blink at her.

"What are you doing? I'm about to watch Degrassi, go back to your room. "

"No, the fuck, you're not my mom or my dad. I'm gonna watch with you." She smiles and puts the earbud in. "Fine. Just don't ask questions or say anything while we watch ,you know I hate that. Also, JK texted me a little while ago."

"He texted me too. He said he was going to go to this ugly ass cemetery and asked if I wanted to go, but I said nah because last time I did something like that with him I almost lost a finger so."

I nod. "He asked me if I wanted to go too, butI just didn't feel like getting possessed tonight."

She laughs. "He wouldn't let you get posses-"

Three obnoxiously loud knocks cut her short and I groan. "It's literally 4am, why is everyone up right now." I get up and go to the door.

"Who is it and what do you want?" I raised my head up to look through the hole thing, but saw nothing.

"Assholes." I turn and start walking back until I hear another knock. "I swear to fucking Gobble if they knock again I'm kicking somones crotch."

I put my hand on the knob and I yell, "Go away."

Again, three knocks. That's it. I yank the door open, yet there's no one. I poke my head out and look both ways. My eyes drift to my drive way and I see two people. I squint to see better.

No, no, no. Fuck this shit. I shut the door and lock everything. I press against the door then I jog over to the living room. "Rivada? Where are you?" I look over to the couch, and she's suddenly not there.

Okay..

I make my way over to the kitchen. Not here either. "Stop. Don't play games with me right now, Rivada it's not funny, you know I get scared easily around this time." I start to freak out when she's not in the kitchen.

I check on all the bathrooms to see if the light is on. The one in my room is on and I go to knock and see if she's in there.

"Rivada? You in there?" No one answers and I let my hand travel to the door knob and I open it. My mirror is broken and the water is on in the sink. My heart rate picks up and I run out of the room to hers.

I'm shaking as I go up to her door and I slam it open.

She's laying over her bed, not breathing. I walk over to her and shake her. No response.

"Haha, so funny, Rivada. You can stop pretending now." I speak half jokingly and half not-so jokingly.

She takes in a sharp, long breath. "Oh thank God you were only kidding." I laugh. "C'mon, we have to go though, there's people outside who I really don't trust."

Her eyes are still closed, but she giggles. "I'm being serious, we NEED to go."

"No.. we stay." Her eyes snap open and they're entirely black.

My breath gets caught in my throat. I push away from her as fast as I can. I glance over at her window that has the perfect view of the driveway and I see no one.

She slowly starts sitting up and I step away. "Liz, you know I wouldn't hurt you, why do you walk away so suddenly?" Her voice and dialect change. She speaks as if she was born thousands of years ago.

My blood runs cold and the color from my body drains.

Her body starts changing in size and it deforms and becomes one of the men I fear most. "Please wake up. Wake up." I tell myself. "Stop. Whoever you are. Leave me alone. I just want to leave." I step back until I find myself pressed against another body.

"Why leave so early darling? We just got here.. why don't you treat us?"

AYYE I FINALLY POSTED IT IM SORRY AMERICUS I LOVE YOU

[deliciousandfunthing]

#30dayswritingchallenge

Day 18. Post 30 facts about yourself

Let's say I'm basically an open book. Many people can be sure of who I am, but the truth is many of them also don't really know me. I always show my interest and do the things I like openly without a doubt, but I hide my deeper feelings and opinions. Sometimes I rather just listen in silence with no opinion or questions cause I don't want to bother having a drama over something not trivial enough to make a difference in either me or the other person's life. Therefore, fact is most people know me but I still am hiding from them too. I guess everyone does the same, don't you think?

So, let's see the list of things people may or may not know about me..

1. I love food a little too much!

I actually have a strange taste some people may add because there's nothing bad in my food dictionary. Everything is either good, very good, or beyond yhis world HAHA.

2. I hate deep water.

Can't swim, scared of the unknown underwater world

3. But, I love fishes (?)

I hate water yet I love fishes. Aquarium is my comfort place. Always feel at peace and hyped in there.

4. Succulent/cactuses are my soul plant

I can't live without having them around. I feel overly attached to them and actually emotionally invested thinking that I'm kinda similar in character with the plant. Why? I believe cactus looks strong at the outside and can definitely managed living on its own but they long for care and love too.

5. I love cooking but not necessarily good at it.

I love to cook, but I have no confidence cooking for others cause what I thought are good sometimes mediocre or even bad for others. So yeah.. I just enjoy cooking for me.

6. I am passionate for arts and crafts.

Well, again not good at it, just happened to be easily drawn to it

7. A hopeless romantic.

I daydream a lot. Literally every day without any miss and I tend to wish for some kind or fairy tale happy ending. Life's not like that tho so yeah whatever

8. Obsessed with handwritten notes/letter

Always love writing to express my feelings whatever that is. It's a cheesy thing to do, many people would disagree of how this means a lot more than just usual exchange of words, but that's me for real.

9. More insecure than confident extrovert

Most people around me will see a very confident person who won't be afraid to take the lead, ask whatever questions, be noticeable in public, etc. But deep down that's me trying to prove myself to no one cause I have never been content with myself.

10. Oblivious to the core

I am insensitive af lol. I have no idea how I managed to get people open up to me and share their thoughts when most of the time I couldn't figure out what's going on with them.

11. Friendship is my top priority

Nothing comes before friends. I would put them first over anything and this is both a good and bad thing about me.

12. Hate hate hate ants

Somehow they always follow me everywhere

13. Should start taking more care of myself

Both emotionally and physically. I have been neglecting me too much

14. Always have a thing for astronomy

Mostly the stars and planets but love all about the space and its beings

15. Can't ride a bike..

Let's just say walking is already tough

16. Always fall or trip with no reason

This happen all the time. Like seriously all the time

17. In huge obsession for watermelon

In love with everything with it and about it. Just the best fruit in the whole wide world

18. Believe that relationship with God isn't about religion.

This is kinda deep and hard to understand by most people. I don't think I can understand it myself yet. But honestly, I love God and I am trying in my own way to keep building my relationship with Him. Yet, my ways may not be that common so, I always avoid conversation about religion.

19. Trying so hard to reach my life goals

Sometimes I thought to myself that maybe I tried too hard and forgot how it is to live my life

20. Wishing for what seems like a too perfect love life

As I said, I am a hopeless romantic. Honestly tho, my love life hasn't been straightforward and that's just exactly what I am wishing to get. A straightforward love, easy relationship with someone I and people around me can love. I'm so done with the complicated ones, but always ended up with one. I have no idea whether a straightforward love is an impossible wish or I just haven't had the right to find one.

21. Feel a little too childish for my age

I think I should be more mature at this age, yet I have no idea what it is to be mature

22. So in love with dancing

I always find my joy in dancing, whether it's just to let loose or actually doing it seriously. It's actually part of a dream future I have

23. Flowers attract me

A deep interest in flowers has always been in me. Somehow I feel like it's what connect me with my grandmother, but I also want to have my own garden to take care and share with my family in the future

24. Traveling to nature is the best quality time

I can say I had a quality time with people or even myself if we've shared a moment in nature and appreciating it together. Always worked up for a roadtrip to secluded beautiful places

25. I'll be 25 this year and it's nervewracking

I have no idea why but I kinda don't want to have a birthday this year. I want to stay 24 cause I don't want to be old

26. I'm scared of marriage, pregnancy, parenting, and all that follows

This is the truth I've been denying myself and hiding inside my head. I want to get married, have children, build a family, buy a house and all those adult stuff. But honestly I'm sh*t scared of it. Seeing many of my friends are already in that stages of life, I kinda don't want it. I don't feel ready or probably just simply terrified. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle all those things. I don't know ...

27. I may have live my life based on the current

Don't get me wrong I always tried my best in everything I do, I just haven't been able to see the point. I have goals and I want to achieve them. I dreamt and I live on track to realise them. Yet somehow I feel empty not knowing why I am pushing myself so much for these things.

28. I want to be recognised

Words of affirmation is my love language. I always long for an appreciation and recognition. I don't let it bother me or obviously showing it so people were tricked to saying nice things about me, but deep down I just know that I'd do everything to hear that I've done well and is helpful to people around me.

29. I'm selfish and obnoxious

There's no denying I tend to put my ego first and boast about how I have worked so hard to be the person I am. There are traits I like about me and I make sure people heard it

30. I still am trying to know me, the world, and whatever this life is

I may have said 29 things I thought I know about me, but it's keep on changing from time to time. Well, some do stay the same. Whether it's me from the past, me in the future or the current me, I just know that they all trying their best for each other. I may be a damsel in distress, a denial b*tch, a princess wannabe, a loving little woman, a nerdy chubby girl, some kind of overtime worker, weird obsessive foodie, or anything I am from any point of view, but I try and try and try to be true to myself to be a good person for most and to waste no time living in this indescribable world.

I am just me for who I am and who God says I am

[sssssssim]

I did that thing again. Where I re-read a series and took a picture of all the things that caught my eye. Be it funny, surprising, or just things that I forgot...

...from The Raven Cycle. Let’s talk about them. 

This is going to be a long post, with 141 pictures. This is also going to be filled with spoilers. Enjoy :)

I really like this quote. And I remember I named one of my sterek fics after it :)

THIS IS THE FIRST THING NOAH SAYS. LIKE JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST. I am so mad. Because I remember the first time reading it, half way through the first book, I thought “I don’t think Noah is alive”, and then I thought that it was such a ridiculous thing. But I kept thinking it, and doubting it, and how the hell could I have ever doubted it, considering HE SAID IT FIRST?

I love this a lot, really. Because this species is poisonous is such an interesting way to refer to Ronan. It’s true, but it’s also kinda beautiful, because when I think of a species, I think it needs to be protected. Also, yeah, of course this chapter was Adam’s pov.

Now, what you need to understand is that I love Ronan Lynch. I love him something stupid, really. I fell in love with him later in the series, but this is heartbreaking now. Because at this point, we didn’t know anything. At it says a whole fucking lot about him, about his headspace, considering what he knows right then.

#quote. He’s so old. I know people keep saying that in the book, that Gansey is an old man in a teenager’s body. And it’s mostly a joke, but it’s really not.

Again. This is so funny considering what we find out later in the books. Really, Maggie did so much foreshadowing, it’s ridiculous. Also, Noah knew. He’s always known.

so. much. foreshadowing. it’s frustrating, how much I’ve missed.

I got my sis to read the books. The first thing she told me was “they get so much funnier after they actually meet eachother”.

Blue’s relationship with Ronan is hilarious.

And brilliant, to watch its evolution.

He’s talking about when Adam took the Camaro and went alone to do something with Cabeswater. What’s interesting is how Gansey sees Adam. It’s complicated, sure, but he sees Adam as someone... pure. 

One of the best mother-daughter relationships ever, to be honest.

Oh, how that line hurt me. Probably as much as it hurt Whelk, tbh. Noah wasn’t a character I liked a lot. He was just... there. Until the very end, when I started crying at the chapter written in his pov.

There are so many beautiful quotes in this books. (I tried reading the Shiver series. I gave up halfway through the second book cause it was nowhere near as beautiful as this.)

I connected with Blue a lot in this moment. Cause. Same.

THESE TWO. Love each other a whole lot, so of course they hurt each other a lot, too. At this point, Gansey didn’t understand Adam very well. The conversation is still about the Camaro and Cabeswater thing, I think. And Gansey doesn’t understand. But, to be fair, Adam didn’t really explain it. 

It’s horrific and hilarious, how in the scene of a murder, Gansey thinks about how they’re not allowed to drink alcohol. ... Sorry, an alcoholic beverage. Old man.

That’s a big fat lie, though. Being real. Ha, no.

I can’t remember if this is Blue or Gansey, but either way, it says a lot, about how they just... moved past this information. I feel like Ronan did SUCH A FUCKING MASSIVE THING, with punching Adam’s dad and helping him move out and finding him a place. And yes, it was about Adam, not about Ronan. They friends should have focused on Adam, yes, but they should have realized something about Ronan, too, right then. And I don’t think they did. 

I don’t know about you guys, but when I read this, I fucking screeched. Like Chainsaw. I closed by kindle, took a deep breath. I needed a fucking moment. (Ronan kind of ruined me, in the best ways.)

#quote. Put that in your YA post-apocalyptic novel.

THIS JESUS CHRIST THIS. If there’s one line to define this series, it’s this one.

Ronan and Noah are the bros that, if they lived in student housing, everyone would hate them and stay away from them. Because they’d be the obnoxiously stupid bad boys.

He was so fucking broken. Think about it. THIS is his most dangerous secret. This, not his bff or his brothers finding out he liked boys. Not his brothers finding out he was a dreamer, like their father. But this, the horors of his dreams. 

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE BEGINING. I hope we get flashbacks in the new Ronan series. Also. Flowers. How sweet.

ELEGANT is not a straight term to use in relation to another boy. Also. Dream-Adam was disdainful towards Ronan. Because of course he was, that’s how Ronan saw Adam’s oppinion of Ronan and ouch. It’s the worst thing, having a friend and thinking they don’t like you. It’s even worse when you’re crushing on them.

foreshadowing. damn it. Ronan knew it, but he was too afraid to acknowledge it. 

I need that on a tshirt, Spock.

AMAZING. These five are just... amazing.

DID HE, NOW.

This thing, that Adam does. This heart attack thing. It’s amazing. Intense, man. 

#quote. Beautiful and painfully depressing.

Gansey really did have Adam up on a pedestal. Neither of them realized it.

Seriously. These two. 

What a ridiculous thing to say. ... No. Not really, considering who Blue’s father is. I’m... kinda cyrious, actually. About what the trees dream of.

I also need this on a tshirt. (also, fyi, me doing vodka is always a great idea. Tequila, tho, that’s a horrible idea)

Handome isn’t a straight term to use to describe a boy either, Adam. Savagely handsome is something else entirely. 

Declan knew, JFC. Yeah, ‘his expression tightened’, but he didn’t say anything. He never said anything about Adam-and-Ronan, which gets him bonus points.

That hurts. Gosh, that hurts.

THE BEST WAY A CHARACTER EVER CAME OUT EVER NOTHING WILL EVER TOP THIS IN MY WORLD NOTHING Alec Lightwood’s got nothing on Ronan Lynch. Also, this is one of those things, that I wish I could read for the first time again.

“something warming”. Ronan, you’re ridiculous. THEY’RE BURYING A DEAD PERSON FOR YOU, and you think it’s warming. ... tea is warming, not... that.

, as the Doctor would say.

Gods, these two together. We need more of these two together.

Ronan sees babies of “contents of the baby carriage”. Same, tbh. Same.

I love how Maggie made sure to remind us that they were still, in fact, teenagers. Who thought about sex and who got jealous even though they weren’t supposed to.

#quote

Tru dat. (thinking of Jughead Jones, tbh)

That’s reassuring. (Also, Maggie wrote the adults in this series just as nice as she wrote the teenagers. .... I’m still frustrated about Shiver.)

I need this on a tshirt, as well. I’d like to wear this on a shirt, and the vodka one on a hoodie. At the same time.

BLUE AND NOAH. Gods, they all fell in love with eachother a little bit. Jesus. 

Adam sees himself as so alone, for the longest of time (till Persephone, prolly). It breaks my heart. 

fucking Kavinsky, man. Ronan spends so much of the series being afraid.

It’s hilarious, how Gansey reacts to a Ronan dick pic. GROTESQUE DISPLAY OF NATIONALISM jfc. But, on the other hand, talk about Kavinsky and non-con.

Kavinsky channeling some Percy Jackson. 

Chainsaw is the cutest, though ??!!!

The thing I liked the most about the Grey man was how “seriously” he took himself.

That’s a nice way to say that Ronan faceplanted.

THE THING IS. Ronan had so much fucking potential to be like Kavinsky. Or even worse. I respect him a lot for not turning up like Kavinsky.

Do you think Ronan got some courage from this? From finally coming out to someone? Even if that someone is fucking Kavinsky? ... I really fucking hated Kavinsky. He made me sick to my stomach. Seriously. 

This relationship. Still amazing to watch. Throughout the whole series, really. Also, the fact that it was a draw says a lot. 

And it’s fucking beautiful, because Ronan’s first instinct towars Blue was to hate her (because Adam had a crush on her). Ronan’s second instinct was to hate her (because Gansey liked her). But, still, he didn’t even hesitate. They were at that whole in the cave, I think. When Gansey fell and Blue almost fell. 

They all love eachother so much. So fucking much. I’m certain, that this isn’t an exaggeration on Ronan’s part.

FORESHADOWING. the worst. (this was Adam, by the way, Adam mockingly talking like one of his colleagues, jfc)

YES

THEY WERE ALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER

JESUS CHRIST

YES YES YES

YES YES YES YES YES YES

YES THEY WERE

THEY FUCKING WERE

AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING AND GLORIOUS AND OUCH

so. fucking. beautifully. said. #quote

THE THING IS. Adam never talked about.... how he realized Ronan was crushing on him. It’s just there, one second. There’s no... transition. At least, we don’t see it. We don’t see Adam slowly realizing and seeing it, that Ronan cares about him. We just kinda see him... accepting it. 

He cares so much =). It’s like that part in the begining, with Gansey (I can’t believe I didn’t take a picture of it, but I still remember it). R: You missed English lit, I thought you were dead in a ditch. G: Did you take notes for me? R: No, I thought you were dead in a ditch.

Lies, Blue. Lies. Also. Who’s willing to bet that Ronan was expecting to hear a ‘yes’?

THE FACT THAT GANSEY LET BLUE DRIVE THE CAMARO

Is... is Henry straight? (or sexual at all). Cause that’s not a really straight thing to say, Henry.

I CANNOT BELIEVE GANSEY SAID THAT. ... thought that. and that he really didn’t think balls. he’s an old man even in his head. 

#QUOTE

NOW ABOUT THAT TV SHOW I can’t wait to see this scene

I don’t know why everyone gets a thrill from Ronan swearing. I mean, yeah, he’s Catholic, but he’s also Irish.

BLUE WAS PRETTY SURE SHE’D HEART THAT SOUND IN THE HALLS OF HER HIGH SCHOOL. I’ve said it before: they’re (still) teenagers

Adam’s self-worth is as rich as his bank account. 

Adam seeing Ronan as a god is just so... okay nice, in terms of their crushes, but also like... intense. Adam is so intense in his feeling towards all of these people. It’s amazing.

THE MAGICIAN IS POWERFUL JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST

ohmygod, Gansey. See? Adam sees Ronan as a god, Gansey has problems with seeing Adam as human.

Ronan, ever the sensible one.

He’s so... complicated.

So this is at Adam’s dad trial. Which Ronan tucked his shirt in for. That’s... sweet. 

I want this on a shirt too. 

Five: Gansey, Ronan, Adam, Noah, Blue. Three: Henry, Gansey, Blue. Adam, Ronan, Opal.

After Persephone died. It’s a... dismissal. “The fuck would I talk about?”. But it’s also kind, and intuitive. Ronan knew what Adam needed: just his presence, not his words.

OKAY SO there was already something happening between Adam and Ronan. But this is how they acted. In the middle of a dangerous situation. Like children. Married couple. Banter. Amazing. 

Same, Ronan. Same. (even though, no)

So is the cake. Also, Ronan pulling Blue back, again, from disaster. Yup. 

So. sweet. good. GOSH.

I, also, took great pains reading this. 

I love these two together the most, I think. He’s a big brother. 

... that’s... putting it mildly. 

heheheheheheehehe

AGAIN. That’s true friendship, right there.

!!! !!! !!! !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! Gansey is gonna be Adam’s man of honor. And Blue is going to be Ronan’s.

Such a big brother. Asshole of a big brother.

FRIGHTENED, not frightening

Seriously, he’s so fucking intense and dramatic. I kinda love it.

A HEART ATTACK, ADAM? Now, where have I heard that one before? Hm. HM.

I like that a lot. His pupils were pinhole cameras to another world. 

so beautiful it makes me cry.

They know eachother so well. And this, really, is a typical thing. “I don’t wanna ruin our friendship by turning it into something more”. It’s just... extra. Cause it’s Ronan and Adam. 

I wonder, if he learned all of this from Nial. I mean, did they talk about it while Nial was alive? Did he teach Ronan how to work with his dreams? Or did Ronan learn on his own? ... it’s that why he went to Kavinsky? I mean, Ronan said he went to him because he wanted to learn how to take out something big from a dream, but... But. I want to know more. 

I WAS HYPERVENTILATING RIGHT ABOUT NOW

THE THING IS. Ronan dreamt Cabeswater. Adam made a bargain with Cabeswater. Because it accepted him, as the magician. ... of course it did. Because Ronan. dreamt. Cabeswater. 

Ronan never pauses before plunging head first, in order to save the people he cares about. This was a little bit extra, though. Because this was a pool of acid. And because it was Orphan Girl. He cares a lot about her, that much is clear. Again, I wanna know more.

He’s ridiculous. BUT THE THING IS. Every time there’s an awkward, emotional silence, Ronan breaks it with something ridiculous and difuses the tension. It’s pretty smart, tbh. 

And again. 

Dick, out. Literally. Forfuckssake. 

This is flirting. ... in their books, anyway. 

SO. FUCKING. BEAUTIFUL. I. CAN’T. COPE.

a... supernatural beacon, you say?

I want to know what pushed Ronan over the edge. To finally do it. Was it Declan and Matthew leaving? Was it the upcoming apocalypse? Was it the fact that it was his birthday and he deserved something good, for once? Was it something Adam said, or did?

Adam took a plunge too, with/for Ronan. 

F I N A L L Y

They’re adorable now. 

Gansey, finally figuring things out. Good.

That was a pretty good reaction. Considering.

A STRANGE CONSTELLATION, yes

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way Ronan describes the kiss.

Same, Artemus. Same.

Opal is so cute with Adam. She loves him just as much as Ronan does. 

“Nightmares were real” is a terrifying sentence.

EVERYONE gets a little weak around the knees when they see their dude-crush with a child. I don’t even like children, but when I see a hot dude with a child, I melt into a pile of goo.

Same, Blue. Same.

Every king has his right-hand knight. You’d think it would be Adam. Nope. Adam is Gansey’s consultant. Ronan is Gansey’s knight. And this, btw, if after Aurora died.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT PYNCH. REALLY. I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN.

That’s... That’s... Henry, man. Okay. ... Gansey, you... old. man. 

They’re ridiculous. 

Ronan’s been rubbing off on him.

SO THIS IS THE MOMENT when you realize that Glendower was as important as the notebook in Arrow was. (or the latch?? in Lost, idk, I haven’t watched it). Which is to say. Not at all important. 

What hurt me the most, I think, was that Gansey knew. He knew, all along, since that very first St Patrick’s Eve night, he knew he was gonna die. And he hasn’t said a single word. 

YES YOU DAMN RIGHT ARE. YOUR MAGICIANS. (Gansey’s, ofc)

Just when you thought it couldn’t hurt more... this fucking happens. 

IT WASN’T MUCH OF A CHOICE for fucks sake that hurts me deeply

She’s so sweet, jesus, with Adam. I can’t. How is Ronan gonna handle ALL THE CUTE?

Are we gonna hear more about Velaquez and Mackey and Xi in the Ronan chronicles?

BLUE PETALS. I really want to know more about this dreamer’s early years. And yes, full circle, like a (raven) cycle, YEAH.

SO ABOUT THAT TV SHOW. This was written in Adam’s point of view, and he couldn’t see anything because he was blindfolded. I want to see it. I want to see this, visual, cinematography, music, acting, everything. Because I like to torture myself, obv.

I god without magic is a king. (American Gods starts soon). I would have loved to see more of Persephone and Adam.

Ronan crying hurt me more than Gansey dying.

And, ofc, the last pic of this spam is of Ronan. Because, as I have mentioned, I love him something stupid. I can’t wait for the new books. I hope they’re gonna be as good as these. I’m praying for it.