#their insane fucked up dynamic really makes so much more sense now when you think about it ......

[kurobachisagi]

logic vs. creativity: vague kainess theory (spoilers for ch 242-243)

after reading their backstory chapters, it's interesting to see how different they started out in comparison to how they act and how kaiser treats ness currently.

in particular.....

when they met, kaiser's intent was to team up with ness so he could play better, specifically he wants to aid ness's creativity.

but earlier, in ch218, we see kaiser talking in a way that seems contradictory to this.

now, he specifically doesn't want ness's creativity.

their dynamic in general is also much different, much more unhealthy, than how we see it in their backstory. I don't think anything actually happened between the two of them that caused kaiser's change in view or that caused him to start treating ness so much worse, I think it's their own team and noa's team philosophy that caused it.

bastard munchen is based solely on logic and rationality, contrary to ness's creativity and his belief in magic, and I think joining the team might be the worst thing that happened to his and kaiser's relationship.

I suspect noa/the team might have ended up treating ness's mindset similarly to how his family did, from "there's no magic in my house" -> "there's no magic/creativity on this team." I imagine that's what changed kaiser and ness's dynamic. Kaiser can't aid ness anymore, because he doesn't align with the team philosophy. Instead, the team revolves around kaiser, who will go along with the team philosophy, and ness is reduced to being the one to aid kaiser instead, since he's the only person on the team he cares about. They still have the same goal together, but ness's creativity can't blossom at all anymore due to their team, so he only plays for kaiser and what he tells him to do.

[sxcret-garden]

Ateez when they're jealous ღ NSFW Edition [M]

ღ Ateez all members x fem-bodied!reader ღ genre: smut, headcanons (dom-sub dynamics in some parts, semi-public sex in some parts, most of them get more or less possessive) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption in some parts

Author's note: Maybe I went a liiiittle overboard with this.... maybe I'm also very tempted to turn one of these into a full fic....

Hongjoong:

He's usually one to deal with his jealousy in a very adult manner and simply talk it out with you. However, after coming home jealous one day and having what was probably the best sex in your relationship up until that point, you've made an arrangement to deal with your jealousy in the bedroom. So it's really become more of a game to him than a pestering feeling to get rid of asap. And today as well, after you've spent a little too much time (in his opinion) having a very engaged conversation with the cute waiter of your regular place to get dinner, Hongjoong can't wait to get home and to drag you off to his bed. And that's exactly what he does, as you're filled with expectation because you didn't exactly miss the evil smirks he's been giving you throughout dinner, and you could guess what would be coming once you're home. He's moving slowly as he crawls on top of you, brushing his lips against yours in teasing kisses, and then telling you to strip naked for him. Will be the biggest little shit ever as he touches you in all the ways he knows will rile you up, and has you cursing underneath him when he pulls his fingers out of you just as you're about to cum. "You're gonna have to beg for it, babe," he whispers, licking his fingers clean. "I'm not gonna let you cum until I know you can't take it anymore."

Seonghwa:

Is so shocked when after weeks of suffering he finally figures out that seeing you with your male best friend makes him jealous, that he impulsively decides to get (almost blackout) drunk. What he forgot to consider was that you were scheduled to make dinner with him at his place, and so when you walk in on him having downed what's probably his third bottle of soju you're definitely mad at him. Wondering whether it'd even make sense to try to reason with your drunk boyfriend, you do eventually end up scolding him, but the second you're within reach he pulls you down onto his sofa, crawling on top of you. He's blushing from the alcohol, and usually you'd have found that cute, but today the cold stare he gives you makes you shiver. Worriedly, you ask what's wrong with him, and finally he explains. "I'm jealous. Like really jealous of your best friend. And drinking it away wasn't the best choice but right now I just need to make you mine." You're not sure if you should be impressed how in control he is for the amount he drank or if you should just be insanely turned on by his words, but when you give him permission with a nod it's not like he leaves you any time to think about this further anyway. Has you both naked in no time and pins you down as he fucks you rough, and if you think he'll be satisfied with giving you just one or two orgasms that night, you couldn't be more wrong.

Yunho:

Doesn't get jealous ever, except for that one time when you had only just started dating and were still in a bit of an awkward phase of figuring everything out together. Now usually he doesn't mind you going out to see your other guy friends, he has no reason to worry about that because he trusts you to never betray him. However, who he doesn't trust is that one guy who very obviously has a crush on you and he wouldn't put it past him to try to steal you away. And so he even went so far as to warn you about it, but you just brushed it off, defending the other guy and saying he's just a friend. And well, when one night your boyfriend witnesses how that guy drops you off at Yunho's place and he's being just a little too touchy before he hugs you goodbye, that's when the jealousy sets in. Needless to say he's upset when you walk inside, and not knowing what to do with that feeling, he simply kisses you. And it's a passionate kiss filled with need, the kind of kiss you've never received from your boyfriend up until that point. Yet he takes the lead, and soon he pushes you up against a wall, hands roaming your body and his lips nipping at your throat. "I don't ever want to see that guy touching you like that again," he mutters, rolling his clothed hard on against your hips, making you throw your head back. "You're mine and nobody else's." When he feels you going limp in his hold and all you can do is agree and whine at his touch, he takes you right then and there, proving to you that nobody could ever make you feel as good as he can.

Yeosang:

When he's jealous he needs reassurance above all else, especially towards the beginning of your relationship. The only problem is that he's kinda slow at figuring out that he's jealous, and so it's often you who picks up the cues before he does. And you know he tends to get sulky and avoidant when he feels bad but can't quite put his finger on why, so one day you decide to try to help him out of that. And so you approach him, telling him straightforward that you want to have sex with him. And pulling him out of his bubble takes a while of hesitation from his side, but when you take him by the hand to walk him to your bedroom, he doesn't protest. Crawling on top of him and making out with him, you wait until you can feel him somewhat relax underneath you. Your fingers of one hand tangled in his hair while the other roams his toned upper body has him melting underneath you, and just then you ask him whether he's jealous, in the sweetest tone you can muster. "I... I think so," he mumbles. "Do you need me to prove to you that I only want you?" you ask, and Yeosang nods. And you'd be surprised how quickly he can go from desperately clinging to you as you get him off slowly, humming praises for your boyfriend, to him flipping your positions around and with a "Sorry, I need this now" he starts thrusting into you, hard and slow. The pace as well as him suddenly taking charge of the situation makes you see stars, and his desperate but possessive groans could make you cum right then and there.

San:

Seems more helpless than anything else the second he comes back from picking up some takeout coffee for the both of you when he sees a complete stranger flirting with you, and you doing nothing to ward the guy off. And of course he'd be jealous at the sight, but he decides to play the tough guy for now, telling the guy off as he approaches. "Dude, what are you doing flirting with my girlfriend?" He puts an emphasis on his last word, and his voice sounds darker than usual. And though the stranger leaves immediately and you two continue your date as usual, something's off about San once you arrive home. Dragging you off to the bedroom by the sleeve of your shirt, he doesn't say anything and doesn't let you see his face right until he has you pinned to the bed, hovering above you and pressing a fiery kiss to your lips. Clothes don't stay on for long, and when he finally has his hips snapping into you, you have to slow him down from how rough he's being. "Fuck, that guy pissed me off," he mutters as he buries his face in your neck, leaving his mark there. When he has you coming undone underneath him, he doesn't stop, continuing to fuck you towards your next high, and your head starts to spin when you hear his next words, growled into your ear, "Don't ever flirt with another man again. Don't even look at someone else, or do you think anyone else could ever fuck you this good?"

Mingi:

Well if he isn't a wild card idk what. Gets jealous rather easily, and from him sulking like a kid to him taking charge and dragging you off to the nearest secluded space, anything could happen. It entirely depends on his mood that day, and a bit on the situation too. Mingi definitely needs you to comfort him if it's the former option, but the good news is that he'll be fine rather quickly after you assure him he has nothing to worry about. However, after you've been dating for a while and he's internalized that you're not gonna let someone else take you away from him, that helplessness soon turns into anger at whatever guy is flirting with you. And so one night when you're out with friends, all being a bit tipsy and this one guy just won't stop giving you all of his attention, Mingi eventually shoots up from his seat and drags you to the restrooms without an explanation. Kisses you feverishly after locking up the stall he entered with you, and only when you ask him what's wrong he gives you an explanation. "I don't like the way that guy looks at you. It pisses me off," he hisses, before going right back to kissing you. His hand finding your core underneath your clothes in no time, he starts fingering you, even teasing you about how you're already wet for him, and eventually he'll flip you around so he can grind his clothed bulge against your ass as he gets you off, relishing in the way you're desperately trying to suppress all noises.

Wooyoung:

Big switch energy so this can go one of two ways, but after the initial deep conversation you had about jealousy and how you can trust each other despite that feeling sometimes arising, the one thing that's for sure is that you're gonna resolve it with sex.  Even when the jealousy is barely even there, just like earlier today when you had commented to your boyfriend on how handsome one of Wooyoung's friends looks in his latest insta post, he doesn't miss the opportunity to seek proof that at the end of the day you only have eyes for him.  "And what about me?" he'll asks as he walks up to you from behind, hands put on your waist and his lips ghosting above your neck. The tone of his voice gives his intentions away immediately, and it doesn't take long for him to spin you around in his hold so he could kiss you, dragging you off to the nearest surface to have sex with you on (whether that's the bed, the sofa, or the dining table he doesn't care). And it really all depends on your mood whether he'll pin you against it, making you beg for him until he's satisfied, or put all the power into your hands and let you have his way with him until he's the one whining for your touch. One way or the other, the reason for his jealousy will soon be forgotten, because now all that matters is you and him chasing pleasure together.

Jongho:

You're at a party hosted by a mutual friend of yours, and from the moment you dressed up at home you've known that your outfit choice today is doing something to your boyfriend from the looks he's been giving you. You like the attention, you're not gonna lie, and you can imagine what this night will lead to once you're back in the comfort of your own home, after making him stare at you all evening. However, what you didn't expect were the death glares he's been giving one of your male childhood friends who's been occupying you ever since you walked into that party. You know Jongho isn't the type to get jealous easily, but when he does he usually struggles with expressing it. However, you also know your boyfriend will usually do the right thing anyway, and so when he pulls you into the empty kitchen and locks the door behind himself, you expect him to simply tell you about his feelings. What you certainly do not expect is him backing you up against a counter with a possessive stare glued to your lips. "What's wrong...?" Kisses you instead of answering your question and makes your head spin from the way he runs his hands down your body alone. There's need and anger behind his actions, and in no time he has you pressed up against the kitchen counter, facing the wall now, both your pants and underwear pulled down just enough so he could fuck you from behind, teasing you with just his tip until he has you begging for more, and this really is just what he needed to alleviate his unnecessary feelings of jealousy...

[toxycodone]

Chimera!Falin x Reader

an. separated w/ general sfw and nsfw hcs. reader is an adventurer who happens to catch the Red Dragon’s interest….

tw. monster fucking, predator/prey dynamics

sfw.

Now…being a lone adventurer is difficult. Especially in your case. Not only are you prey to almost anything in the dungeon, but you’ve found yourself prey to its most apex predator—The Red Dragon.

Well, at least you think? Oddly enough…for a dragon, it’s very pretty. You don’t remember hearing about it having a human head and torso. With pretty blonde hair and golden eyes…Gods, she’s beautiful…

That’s what you’re thinking in the back of the mind while the Dragon pins you down with one hefty paw. It’s insane how large it is compared to you. One look to the side and you can see the large claw is longer than the length of your head. However, despite this position…it doesn’t hurt, per se. She has enough weigh on you to make you hesitant to breathe too deeply, but, she isn’t killing you….which is odd.

When you finally look to the dragon, you’re shocked to see her so close to your face.

“Not Delgal…” She whispers in a hoarse voice. You don’t know who that is, or why the Dragon or all creatures is looking for this person but…okay. As you brace yourself for what’s next, the Dragon grasps your face in her human ones. They’re soft and plush.

She brings her face to yours and licks a long stipe up it with her forked tongue, cleaning off some semi-dried blood of your companions. Her breath smells slightly coppery as she does so.

“Still good.” She nuzzles into your face, her feathers tickling your skin.

It's fucking weird. And you're not sure if you hate it or you love it. But hey...at least you're alive?

Since then, you've basically become the Dragon's little pet. She doesn't speak much, and you figure it must have something to do with her being some sort of chimera monstrosity, but she at least has the decency to introduce herself to you as Falin.

You also get confronted by Thistle...you thought the elf might help you. But no. He just sighs when he sees Falin drag you along with her. If it makes her happy, he's not arguing against it. Sorry. You're trapped.

But at least Falin is a good caretaker. She watches over you like a hawk. A big, scary, red dragony hawk. Even if you're just sitting around, enjoying the scenery...she just stares. with that disgustingly cute little smile of hers.

When the two of you travel together, she likes it when you ride on her back, but she also stores you in her thick plumage on the front of her body too. Her favorite is to carry you in her own human arms and walk around with you like you're some sort of stuffed animal. It's...kinda adorable. Maybe more cute if you weren't lowkey kidnapped.

If any adventurers dare harm you...it's over for them. You learned quickly to either look away or hide somewhere, because Falgon shows no mercy. As cute and sweet as she can be, she's equally deadly.

And you don't hide very far away...escaping is futile. Plus it becomes a fun game for her. It's literal cat and mouse. She can smell you. Sense you. It doesn't matter. She'll crush walls and buildings to get to you.

And if you run, it makes it worse. She'll catch you like a bug, her scaly front feet cage you in as she pounces on you. Then she just...dangles you and plays with you like a mouse.

She feels bad afterwards. It's hard for Falin to know her own strength in this form. She often accidentally scratches or bruises you. To make up for it, she'll sing a little lullaby and use her healing magic on you. It always lulls you into the most restful slumber you've had, no matter how much pain you're in or how scared you are.

After a little time, things do become oddly? Domestic?

Falin bathes you as often as possible. She likes to help get you clean as a bonding activity. She's really gentle and calm in these moments--the two of you just bathing in a nice dungeon waterfall or somewhere in the golden kingdom.

In return, you help her preen! You gently pick out pin feathers and brush off feather dust while she trills in happiness and coos at you. It's probably one of your favorite things to do as she just hums sweetly and lets you do it. She also likes it when you do her hair (adventurers are definitely left wondering why the Red Dragon has braids or double buns)

She also forages and hunts for you. Little berries? Snack for you! Is there a nice fruit tree on the floor you're exploring? She's hopping up there and picking you enough to eat all day.

Falin also uh. will hunt. After you scold her for dropping a giant monster carcass on you she learns not to do it again but hey? it was kinda funny. From then on she only brings you things she knows you can cook

And as typical...she has a nest. It's not anything crazy, but it's a cozy little thing made of foilage, her feathers, and other soft materials she found in the dungeon. When it's time to go to bed, she lets you lay down first and cuddles around you like a cat. Or she'll let you lay on her and cozy into her feathers. Her soft down feels like a cloud and you just sink in <3 it's adorable.

nsfw.

I'M ON TEAM FALIN CHIMERA DICK.

Since you're her prized treasure...her everything...naturally she views you as her mate.

That means, she gets into ruts. It's only natural for her to want to breed with you, right? Plus, she likes to make you feel good.

However...she is WAY too big to even begin to think to fit inside you. You could probably fucking grapple her if you wanted to. So sex between the two of you is pretty...interesting.

When she trills, the vibrations are intense. If you're sitting on her front and preening her, it's extremely difficult for you to keep your composure while you're doing this. She knows it, and does it on purpose. The vibrations run from her chest, to your thighs and up your spine. Eventually, a simple preening turns to you desperately humping her chest while she just smiles and watches you.

One of her favorite things to do though is hold you in one paw and give you oral. You're distended in the air, held tight by her claws. Then you feel her soft, warm human hands spread your thighs open and lap at you. It's enthralling to knows this creature that could easily snap you in half could just. Do that. And she makes the sweetest little moans and hums while she tastes you. You almost forget she's a chimera with the soul of a literal dragon.

You can fuck yourself on one of her claws or the tip of her tail. She'll round out a claw (just in case, Falin doesn't wanna hurt you) so you can ride it like a dildo and see how much you can take. Same with the tip of her tail. Falin just lays down and moves it in and out, slowly but surely stretching you out while you cry out. Her face is almost as red as her body while she watches you do this with hungry eyes.

Even though it's impossible to fit her cock inside you, goddamnit, you try. You can barely even get 3/4 of the head in, but it's cute to watch your tiny body give it an attempt. Awww, you're that desperate for her? Cute. When she gets too pent up from all the teasing, though, Falin just grasps you with her claws and slides you up and down her length. Grinding against her is heavenly. It coats your body in slick and your own cum and eventually....hers. She cums enough that you need a bath afterwards. But if you don't have time, she'll happily lick you clean. (And spend extra time between your thighs, making you cum again on her face)

And she is...a biter. She can't help it. You're her mate. Falin sinks her teeth into the soft flesh of your thighs, your ass, and your shoulders the most. She loves the taste of your blood, the primal part of her desires it, and she likes seeing the marks on you. It's insanely sexy for her to know SHE did that. And its a sign that she owns you. <3

[impactrueno]

i keep getting amazed by how starkly different betelgeuse and lydia’s dynamic is in the movie versus the cartoon. what do you mean one was based on the other? how did we get “that WAS you stalking me!” from the same source material as “you’re one of a kind, beetlejuice. don’t ever change.”

yeah it happens

it seems like they decided on making a beetlejuice animated series first, and then they tried to figure out how to make it kid friendly. there's this interview that says stephen ouimette's first beetlejuice voices were very close to keaton's in the movie, but that they felt there was something very off about having an "evil creepy guy with a goth girl in the attic" and that was when they decided to soften the character. ouimette did a lighter and funnier voice and that alone was enough for them to feel like he wasn't a threat and the goth girl was safe around him. and i guess things just took off from there as they figured out the characters. it IS a children's cartoon, and being ran by abc at the time they had to keep things cute and wholesome. tim burton was very involved in the creation process (as much as he could while working on batman) so having bj and lydia be friends instead of enemies was pretty much his choice. but again, kids cartoon ran by abc. and that's why we have sugary sweet quotes like the one you said.

seems like even back then tim has always preferred a more amicable dynamic for those two. we already know him, michael, winona, everyone in the cast wants them to be together to some degree thanks to recent interviews. and i think that is why beetlejuice's character was slightly changed in the sequel, from an evil creepy guy to just....a creepy guy with a crush i guess. point is, they don't want him to be The Bad Guy anymore and that's why the sequel is the way it is.

BUT they can't just make him "not evil" and expect it to work, that would make no sense, he still needs to have this creepy and wrong edge to him, and lydia's not gonna just forgive and forget what happened in the first movie. so, combining allllll these elements, we get this brand new dynamic between them: creepy guy in love with the woman he's been stalking for 30 years (pure insanity but not exactly evil) and woman who's like "ugh not this fucking guy again" but still goes to him for help, begrudgingly. she can't quite get rid of him. they're obviously not enemies anymore and they're not friends either. but now it's a bit more believable for them to reach some sort of amicability, eventually.....perhaps in the third one.....we shall see

AND THAT.......is how we got from this concept

to this concept

and finally this concept.

three entirely different dynamics. three three three. rule of thirds, you know i love it. it's a crazy journey but i think it makes more sense when broken down like this.

musical stuff isn't really part of this journey BUT the musical did help soften people's perception of beetlejuice even MORE, so now pretty much everyone can buy into the idea that he can be more than just an "evil creepy guy," to the point where soooo many people were actually dying to see the two team up and be friends in the sequel.

and now the original movie feels like the outlier. oh the IRON-E ok sorry im not using that pun again

[its-time-to-write]

Hi!! I hope you’re well !! Thank you so much for keeping the Jaimie Tartt community well fed like I will forever be in your debt you’re amazing‼️‼️ My humble request is in honor of SNTV:) My favorite songs are Enchanted and Sparks Fly so maybe a complicated angsty start up to a fluffy love confession (like they just haven’t gotten the timing right until now or they were friends and then something happens to her). IDK anyway sorry for the word vomit and thank you bunches for all your hard work!!

I loved this request!! Also sorry, all my fics seem to be ending the same way this days😬 But we keep getting to the ending in new and exciting ways so hopefully no one cares! Enjoy!

wonderstruck

You knew the moment you met Keeley Jones that your friendship was going to be a wild ride. You were still in uni, and had picked up a one-off job as one extra on a commercial shoot. The pay wasn’t bad (hey, it was extra money) and you were willing to sacrifice a Saturday for it. Keeley was one of the frontrunners for the commercial, all big hair and wild makeup. You had bumped into her by chance at the food table, started talking, and the rest was history. One random job turned into a solid four years of friendship. It was a funny dynamic between you and Keeley, because she was both older sister and antagonizer. She liked to pull you out of your comfort zone, taking you to clubs, parties, events, whatever as her plus one. Well, until she started dating a prick footballer named Jamie Tartt.

You didn’t meet him while they were together. You’d already known Keeley for two and a half years at that point, and understood she had shit taste in men. You weren’t afraid to tell her that to her face and she’d just laugh and say, “I know babes, but it’s right fun, innit?”

You’d laugh and shake your head, then go back to carefully painting her nails in the brightest, sparkliest colors imaginable.

Keeley was really, really good for you.

She called you the night she broke up with Jamie, and you came over to her house with a giant bottle of champagne only to find her and another woman, a Rebecca Welton, already proper tipsy and giggling on the floor. They were still dolled up from that night’s benefit while you were in pajamas, but you didn’t let that stop you. You downed half a bottle while Keeley and Rebecca cheered. You were glad Keeley had dumped that awful, cheating, self-absorbed prick. She deserved so much better.

You were glad when she started dating Roy Kent. He was a lot more down-to-earth than she was, and they were a good balance for each other. You wondered if Keeley gravitated toward those of a more serious nature in the same way you were drawn to those who were more spontaneous.

Post-uni, you had started your own business. It was kind of a random venture, something you had begun for a friend, but then it took off. You made the most outrageous, eccentric day-to-day dresses, taking a simple pattern then transforming it with wild patterns, tulle, and the occasional sparkle. Keeley, angel that she was, modeled some of them and put them on her instagram. And just like that, you were selling out. 

It was absolutely insane, but you were able to spend the week making two dresses and then turn over a nice profit. You felt like you were overcharging but Keeley said, “Babe, if you’re selling out, you might be undercharging.”

All that to say, life with Keeley Jones as your friend was absolutely magical. You’d do anything for her. Including going to a fucking benefit as her plus one.

—

“Why can’t you just take Roy?”

“Roy’s already got his own invite. He’s a coach, so he has to be there even though he’s going to fucking hate it.” Keeley laughs. She thinks Roy’s grumpiness is endearing.

“Alright, why’d you get a plus one then? It doesn’t make sense, Keels,” you counter.

Keeley refuses to meet your eyes. “It’s entirely possible that Rebecca gave me one so that you’d come.”

“Keeleyyy,” you groan.

She shoves your shoulder playfully. “She knew if she sent you a direct invite you wouldn’t go, and she said she’d let us meet up at her house to get ready together! C’mon babes, it’s going to be so much fun and we’ll look sooo fucking fit walking the red carpet together, yeah?”

She gives you her widest puppy-dog eyes, lower lip pushing out. You sigh.

“Fucking fine. Fine. But you’re coming with me to pick out a dress. And you’re buying my coffee.”

Keeley cheers and tackles you in a hug. “You won’t regret it, I swear. Worst case you can just bitch about it with Roy the next day.” You laugh. You and Roy bitch about a lot of things together.

—

The red carpet is absolutely terrifying. It’s louder than you would have thought and the flashes from the camera are giving you a headache. 

“How the hell do you do this?” you ask Keeley through a smile. 

She laughs for the cameras. “Loads of practice, babe,” she replies in a perfect pose. “Now look at me and laugh at something I said.”

You’re almost done and the paps are asking for a photo of Keeley and Roy, so you wait off to the side near the entrance for them. You crane your neck to try to find Rebecca, to no avail. You do however catch the eye of someone with a very nice fashion sense and very, very blue eyes. He gives you a once-over and grins. You blush and turn back to Keeley and Roy who have finished and are making their way over to you. Keeley grabs your hand and says, “Hi Jamie!” while Roy rolls his eyes. Jamie says, “Hey Keeley,” and nods to Roy. “Grandad.”

“Fuck you,” Roy replies, and you’re surprised at the borderline affectionate tone he’s using. Especially considering Jamie is Keeley’s ex. He’s not really what you would have expected, but you don’t have time to dwell on that because Keeley’s dragging you inside the benefit venue.

—

Jamie is sitting at the same table as you. 

Correction: he’s sitting right fucking next to you and it’s all you can do to avoid eye contact with him. You had introduced yourself to him with a barely suppressed grimace and steeled yourself for a long, misogyny-filled night. 

You were so tense that Keeley put her hand on your knee and said, “I’ve got to go reapply my lipliner, d’you want to come with?”

You got up and followed her, feeling far too exposed in your backless, purple-sequined dress. 

“Alright babe, what gives?” she asks once you’ve made it to the bathroom. “You’re wound up so tight I could stick coal up your ass and get a diamond.”

That makes you crack a smile and you shrug. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Keeley shakes her head. “Don’t you fucking lie to me, I’ve had four years of practice knowing exactly when you’re telling me a fib.”

“Who’s fibbing?” Rebecca says, walking in the door. “I saw Keeley drag you in here, and I didn’t want to miss out on some girl talk.”

“Oh thank god you’re here,” you say, relieved. “I’ve been looking for you for the past hour and couldn’t find you.”

Rebecca self-consciously smooths her hair. “I’ve been- busy,” she says. “But this isn’t about me. What are you fibbing about?”

You look between Rebecca and Keeley then deflate. “I have to sit next to Jamie Tartt.”

Keeley and Rebecca share a look. “I don’t see what that’s such a bad thing,” Rebecca says.

You look at her in disbelief. “Jamie Tartt? The biggest prick in all of London, and quite possibly all of England? Cheated on Keeley multiple times and all-around arsehole?”

Keeley grimaces. “Yeah, not one of his finer points in life.”

“See?” you say. “He’s the fucking worst!” Rebecca and Keeley share another look.

“Stop fucking doing that,” you say. “What?”

“Darling,” Rebecca says gently, “he’s changed.”

You’re not buying it, a sentiment that is evident in your expression.

“It’s true, babes,” Keeley affirms. “And look, I’d probably be the fucking last person to say it. But he has! He’s loads better than he used to be, an absolute sweetheart. Even Roy loves him.”

You snort.

“Okay, maybe love is a strong word,” Keeley amends. “But he likes him! Roy said Jamie’s the best player on the team, and possibly one of the best in the country!”

You’re still not buying it. 

“Listen,” Rebecca says. “Give him one hour free of bias. Forget who he was and give him a chance. You might be surprised.”

You look to Keeley, unsure. It is her ex, after all.

To your surprise, she’s smiling and nodding. “Go for it,” she says. “You never know what could happen.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you and you laugh. Only Keeley Jones could try to pawn her ex off on her best friend with the confident assurance that he’s a better man now. You know she’s not lying, or at least she believes Jamie’s changed. You’re not sure what to believe, but you’ll take Rebecca’s advice and give Jamie one hour to change your mind.

—

You’re not in your seat two seconds before Jamie starts talking to you.

“Why d’you look so nervous love? I don’t bite.” He grins. “Much.”

You catch yourself before you grimace and instead say, “This whole thing isn’t really my scene. It’s a lot of people I don’t know, and I’m only here ‘cause Keels asked me to be her plus one.”

Jamie still has that obnoxious grin on his face. “What does Roy think about you stealing his girlfriend? Can’t imagine he’d take it lying down.”

You glance over at Keeley and Roy. His arm is around the back of her chair and she’s leaning into him ever so slightly. 

You say, “I’ve been here longer than he has, so if anyone’s stolen her, it’s him,” and you watch the pieces click into place in Jamie’s head.

“Shit,” he says. “You’re the best friend. Shoulda known when you told me your name.”

You shrug.

“Makes sense,” he continues. “I wondered why you weren’t fuckin’ beside yourself to be sitting by the fittest bloke in the room.”

You roll your eyes, hint of a smile tugging at your lips.

He pulls his chair a little closer and looks at you again with those perfect blue eyes. “Seriously, I am sorry. I was a prick. It took Keeley breaking up with me for me to start gettin’ my head out of me arse.” Jamie’s words back up what Keeley and Rebecca told you. You’re not entirely ready to brush his past under the rug, but tell him that it seems like he did a right proper job of it, which makes him laugh.

“Do you really think you’re the fittest guy in here?” you ask.

Jamie gestures to the room. “Look around, babe. I ain’t lying.”

You laugh, and the tension dispels. You’ve 55 minutes to go, and then you can go back to hating him. For now, you’ll let him keep cracking jokes.

—

The hour is up, but you’re still talking to Jamie. You don’t stop to consider why he’s still talking to you (maybe because he can’t stand the idea of anyone hating him) but he is. It’s actually enjoyable, so when he asks you to accompany him to the dance floor, you look to Keeley for approval instead of outright rejecting him.

Keeley says, “Go on babe, I’m gonna try to convince this one to get out there for at least one dance,” and Roy says, “Fuck no.”

You let Jamie take your hand as he promises, “No funny business, I swear,” and you just laugh.

You laugh through three songs because Jamie has a way of making you giggle. He swings you around and executes all kinds of moves that you’re sure you could never replicate, but you assume that being a Premier League footballer means he’s got to be coordinated. Makes sense that he can dance.

The fourth song is a slow one, so you move to leave the dance floor but Jamie catches your hand.

“Stay,” he says. “I’m having a really great time with you.”

You feel Keeley kick the bottom of your shoe from where she’s swaying with her arms around Roy’s neck. 

It makes you stumble a little, just enough for Jamie to have to catch you. He grins. “I’ll take that as a yes then.”

He puts your hands around his neck and his on your waist. It’s a soft touch, but you can feel sparks shooting up your hipbones.

You’re absolutely fucked.

Jamie doesn’t say a single thing, just sways along with the soft music and gazes into your eyes. You can’t look away no matter how hard you try. 

The song ends and you let go of Jamie. He slides a hand up you waist and down your arm, lifts your hand to his lips, and kisses your inner wrist. 

Before you can form a coherent thought, he’s gone.

Rebecca and Keeley are on you in a moment.

“You’re both coming to mine,” Rebecca says. “You have time to go home and get pajamas, but I’m getting out of here as soon as I can. I just made sure my pantry was restocked.”

—

It’s 2am. Rebecca and Keeley have successfully gotten you to admit that you like Jamie. 

Against all odds, you like him.

Fuck.

“You’re sure it’s not weird?” you ask Keeley as you pace around Rebecca’s bedroom.

“For the millionth time, babe,” she says, “I really don’t. I think you two would be fucking adorable together.”

Rebecca nods in agreement. “I’m on Keeley’s side on this one. Jamie used to be a right little shit, but he’s really turned it around. And could you please stop wearing a hole in my rug? It’s giving me anxiety.”

You abruptly stop and plop down on the bed. “What if he doesn’t like me? What if he was only trying to make me not hate him because I’m Keeley’s best friend?”

Rebecca makes an offended noise so you amend: “Sorry, one of Keeley’s best friends?”

“Listen,” Keeley says making her way to your spot on the end of the bed. She holds your arms. “I know Jamie. He was fucking interested. And he hasn’t been that way in a while. You should just fucking go for it.”

“I don’t know,” you say slowly. Rebecca and Keeley groan and flop back onto the bed.

“You’re absolutely hopeless,” Rebecca says, but it’s laced with affection. You grin.

“That’s why you love me.”

—

You don’t sleep. Keeley is sandwiched between you and Rebecca on Rebecca’s absolutely massive bed, and all you can think about is Jamie’s blue eyes and the sparks of electricity you felt wherever he touched you. 

You can still feel the kiss on your wrist.

—

It rains for three days and you refuse to go to Nelson Road. Keeley’s out sick anyway, and Rebecca is busy with work. You are too, working on a commission in electric blue. It’s very cozy inside your flat, soft music playing as the rain plinks on your roof. You’re wearing your good sweats, the ones that match and don’t have stains. Your hair is freshly clean and pulled back in a clip and there’s a pot of tea on the stove. 

Your heartbeat has not been normal since dancing with Jamie. It’s beating in an irregular pattern, horrendously out of sync with the calming sound of rain. You can’t get it to calm down so you decide to indulge and replay your entire interaction with Jamie, as a treat. 

You’re just thinking about his hands on your waist and letting your mind wander to where else you think they should go, when there’s a knock on the door. You frown.

That’s odd. Who on earth could be at your door at 7pm on a Monday in pouring rain? You pad across the living room to the door and open it to find a very wet Jamie.

“Hi,” he says, and then he’s pulling you onto the porch and kissing you in the pouring rain.

You’re soaked through to the bone, but you don’t care. All you can feel is Jamie’s hair as you run your fingers through and his lips on yours as they devour you. It’s straight out of a movie.

You shiver, and Jamie breaks away.

“Got your address from Keeley,” he says. “She’s the one who told me to come here. Can we go inside?”

You nod mutely and let him in. “Aren’t you cold?” you ask.

He just laughs. “Nah babe, I run hot. You look right fucking freezing, though. Good thing I’m here, I’ll help you warm right up.”

You’re really starting to shiver. “You should get out of those clothes,” you say through chattering teeth. 

“Could say the same about you,” Jamie replies. “Where’s your bedroom at?” 

You all but drag him up the stairs to your room. 

You think you’re going to kill Keeley for telling Jamie you liked him, but then you’re flat on your back, bare skin pressing into the duvet as Jamie Tartt presses hot kisses up your neck, and you forget all about her.

[missycolorful]

The scene with q!Forever and q!Philza at Global spawn in Pugatory is something that will always kinda sit in the back of my head. Because it truly, truly solidifies the strength in their dynamic, and neither of them will probably realize it lol. Hello, I'm here to be insane about q!philever, so buckle up

Like everyone else, q!Phil was dealing with a lot in Purgatory. He began to lose trust in close friends. He wasn't sure he'd even be able to save his children. While trying to uphold his morality and not kill except in self-defense, he was very much walking a fine, jittery line. All while trying to keep his team organized and motivated. Aside from kind of losing his mind like the others, there was no clear indication that Phil's composure was dangling by a loose thread.

But then he's allowed a moment of peace to exchange information with another team. It's just him and Forever. No kills planned, nothing. Just two people allowed to talk about the absurd situation they've been thrown into. A moment to really take everything in.

During the conversation, Forever doesn't hold judgement toward Phil or anyone else due to the event, even when he comments on Philza's kill on Rivers. Even when Phil tries to justify his actions, Forever doesn't hold it against him. It's hard to say exactly how important this is to what happens next, but I feel like it means something here.

It's when q!Forever says that once they leave Global Spawn, that they become "enemies" again, this is when q!Philza breaks. And I think this moment has been glossed over by many (I want more fan art, dammit >:T) cause it doesn't feel big on the surface. It's not like cc!Philza genuinely sounds heartbroken, his cries sound... a little exaggerated/dramatic, you know? What he cries about isn't anything groundbreaking, it's what many of them feel ("I don't want to be here." "I don't want to kill my friends."), even though Phil fans can sense a deeper meaning here. And after Forever briefly consoles Philza ("Everything is going to be good. This is what we need to go through."), Phil, like a flick of a switch, is right back to his composed, level-headed self. It was like that moment never even happened.

But it did, and it drives me crazy that he did it in front of Forever. cc!Phil made that conscious choice to have his character lose composure, his character that he and his fans knows is an emotionally constipated motherfucker. And the reason it drives me nuts is because how the fuck did we get here?

I can imagine this scenario with lots of characters, and it never plays out like this (i.e. with Tubbo, he'd likely just keep it all in. Et cetra.). I don't see him letting himself be this vulnerable around most others. Hell, before this, I never would've imagined he'd do this in front of Forever, either.

But the more I think about it, it kinda makes sense.

Phil and Forever's relationship is a funny one. Early on, Phil wouldn't trust Forever with a toothpick. He'd never be emotionally open with him. Forever even held a bit of animosity toward Philza after Phil'a final rejection. But that rocky start is honestly a huge part of why it is as strong as it is now. Cause, well, the strength of any relationship comes from accepting all parts of a person. Flaws and all.

Some characters hold Philza up on a pedestal (i.e. q!Missa). They don't really see his flaws. They don't think about his ugly sides. They just see a pillar of a man who is always willing to help, who can do anything and everything, who keeps composed and lighthearted and level-headed in any scenario. q!Forever was kinda like this, at one point.

But Forever realizes that isn't the case eventually. Because Phil's not great at dealing with emotional situations, and Forever learns that the hard way. Phil's not good at talking about feelings, he can be blunt and a bit harsh, because he's a pragmatic sort of guy. But it takes a softer, gentle approach to reject someone, and Phil wasn't ready for that. So, in retaliation to the hurt Phil caused him, Forever had a conflicted relationship with him. It didn't last long, but I digress. This brief shift in their relationship was for the better. By not placing him on this pedestal anymore, Forever began to see Philza in a different light. One that didn't cast Brunim in its shadow.

With Philza, Phil saw Forever at, arguably, his worst in the beginning. Obsessive, threatening, clutching onto a pipe dream with no regard for Phil's feelings. But over time, Phil got to see the much more real sides of Forever. When Tallulah lost her first life, when Forever made NINHO. He saw a passionate and intelligent side to this guy who was obsessed with him, and he respected that person. And with this recognition, he offered his trust to Forever, such as giving one of his presidential votes to Forever.

Both of their perspectives for the other changed throughout the first few months, and I believe they gained some level of appreciation between them because of that. They share this newfound respect and trust. And that is the core to their new relationship. Consistently, Forever and Phil have given each other open and mutual respect and trust. Never is either of these things taken for granted, abused, or manipulated in any way.

When Forever is hooked on the happy pills, he subconsciously seeks out Philza's help, which Phil offers with ease. Before Forever goes to the Nether, Phil expresses his worry and wants to help. But he doesn't push, because he respects Forever's agency, and trusts that Forever is doing what he thinks is best. (also during this scene, when Forever gave him access to the warpstone in that secret part of his base, only Forever and Richas had access to it beforehand, which feels like a big moment according to his fans, so! :D). So when Forever returns to the Nether, while he doesn't believe Fit and Pierre when they say they tried to save him, he absolutely, 100% believes in Philza.

Because he knows Philza by now, and Philza knows Forever. Maybe not on equal levels, but still. After merely a few months, they've slowly begun to understand each other a bit more. So I guess it's only natural that they'd be more open around each other.

I'd even argue that this isn't the first time Philza lets down his walls around Forever. It just didn't happen when Forever was awake.

I wouldn't say that Phil talking to Forever while he was in a coma is the same level of vulnerability as the scene in Purgatory. Because Phil wasn't totally direct with his feelings, he sort of deflected (the story, banging the pots and pans, calling him an idiot, etc). Hell, even when he is expresses how he feels, he's not entirely direct: "We just really care about you. We wanna see you come back. You're making us worry." Like, of course everyone cares, but to say this as we when it's just the two of you obviously feels like a moment of vulnerability but not wanting to admit to it. Cause, hey, under different circumstances, he absolutely would've committed to visiting Forever in the hospital every day. Still, his very open worry did give off a sense that his walls were crumbling.

So with all of this, if Philza can meet with someone alone in practical hell, and that someone, a person he openly trusts and cares about, can look him in the eye and say "I don't judge you" on the things he's has done, maybe that allowed the floodgates to open for a bit. Maybe once Forever said they'd be enemies outside those doors, the situation hit Phil like a truck, and he just couldn't keep it in anymore. And maybe knowing it was just the two of them, Phil knew he could be a person around Forever, not a leader or a mentor or a force to be reckoned with. And Phil really needs someone on equal footing with him like this. He needs someone he can feel safe around. So for him to find this in Forever, of all people, even if it's just for this moment, is extremely important to me.

The way their relationship has progressed, perhaps it would've been simply a matter of time for Philza to be open with Forever. I dunno when Phil will be quite so open around Forever again, but I do say when with a fair enough of certainty (or I could be wrong and I'm simply talking straight outta my ass but who knows). Because to have this moment with Forever was intentional, even if it feels like a blink and you miss moment. It may have been under a minute, it may not feel important to other viewers. BUT to me, it genuinely says so much about their relationship, how far they have come, and where they are now.

[margoshamangolord]

FOLKS I FINISHED BEAST WARS (thoughts and spoilers under cut)

1. The timeline is absolutely unique, i love how optimus and megatron aren't even optimus and megatron and how bw relates to g1

2. The graphics will never be an issue to me, it's more than enough for the time period and it's much more than watchable. I'm in love with the slimy cgi and didn't pay much attention to the quality. All i can see is designers and animators having fun

3. I think that the designs gradually got a little fucked up but it's okay

4. I really enjoyed Blackarachnia's character, she was so interesting for me! I'm not aware of the fandom's general opinion on her but she's my special girl now

5. There was like at least 5 times more on-screen gay kissing than straight kissing

6. If you didn't understand how insane i am about dinotrap from my previous posts then now i can say it's my #1 pairing,, i rarely have a fav ship when i watch something because of The Multishipper Curse that makes me think about too much characters together but for bw specifically i have a favourite. Usually I'm a little turned away from dynamics that are built on characters insulting each other but it's a special case, because they definitely share a bond and i can ramble for hours

7. Bw optimus is my 3rd place fav after tfp and tfa respectively (because they're a classic) (even though i know it's not even him) he's very much of a Some Guy who is Hungry And Needs a Nap and i like how he's just. a person. like a leader but he's just a guy come on. probably for the same reasons i love tfa op, i like seeing him get mean and angry and worried and yelling at his team and then understanding that he was wrong. my man

8. The predacons are so chaotic it's insane. The lack of a (main character i mean) Starscream is not noticed because there's not one con trying to take over, not two, not three, but I'm pretty sure everyone in the whole goddamn team has attempted it at least one time during the show.

9. And, with lack of Starscream, Megatron took all the cuntiness for himself. He stands out insanely among other continuities (again it's not him so). That voice? Thanks David Kaye!!! He's doing the whole dramatic hot villain thing that Tumblr loves, with blood baths and everything, and it deserves to be noticed. Megop is the classic tumblr dramatic villain x tired hero stuff you see in like 2016 writing prompts and everything. Megatron is insane here

10. I really enjoyed Dinobot. I cannot say this loud enough but he is my second fav after Rattrap because he's a really interesting and conflicted character. You see him as inherently evil? He does a beautiful gesture of kindness. You see him as good? He fails to disobey his nature. It goes on and on until his last eps. The betrayal? I was sobbing. That scene when he's on his knees with a sword? It fucked me up. The episode ending had me on the FLOOR.

11. I'm conflicted on dinobot 2 because on one hand, i do appreciate how it is shown how actually fucked up megatron and his schemes are. He's insane, and he's obsessed: he doesn't try to make any super soldier or whatever, but specifically wants to bring back dinobot and make him stay. And he fails, because it *is* dinobot deep inside, and that brings him down; his real sense of honor. He won't stay. His sacrifice was insane. But on the other hand, i actually didn't want Dinobot to be actually brought back. Sounds very nice but i think his actual death was really a point to his character that made me love him more. And when i saw Dinobot 2, i was kinda hoping that he would be an empty shell, an attempt, that it would be a plan Megatron put too much hope into, and that it's *not* dinobot, just a copy without a mind. Maybe im just weird sorey

12. Transmutate is gender

13. I love rhinox but it's sad that they didn't make him stand out as a character like the other maximals. He rarely got to be a main character, and even when he got to, he was just the butt of a joke and didn't get to build relationships and resolve personal problems like his teammates did. Or maybe i just wasn't looking at the screen when he did who knows. He's my big weird man

14. I enjoyed Tigatron and his conflict about the conflict so much

15. I'm actually sometimes a little disoriented/lost when watching something so i just straight up didn't notice half the character deaths??? I was just wondering where they went and then went oh.

16. who the Vok are the Vok. I wish they weren't Just Mysterious Aliens but more than that

17. Why did they keep making all of the characters so trans it's not funny im in tears

18. Beast wars was absolutely made for goddamn freaks im sorry. i loved it

19. I think everyone at the studio was gay for megatron. Why else did they animate the scene where he's in the bath wiggling his dinosaur toes

20. WASPINATOR FUCKING HAPPY AT LAST

[pseudowho]

i’m the anon with the boyfriend who hates me stealing his clothes again…. okay so he SAYS he sees his best friend like a sister but i feel like to me their relationship sometimes seems more than that? but i tend to be a very jealous person sometimes and i know that’s not a good trait to have so i keep telling myself i’m just being insane for no reason because they’ve known each other practically since they were babies. so it does make sense that they’re super close and that they would have a very sibling relationship.

but there are things that bother me sometimes and i can never tell if i’m being jealous and insane or if it’s a valid thing. like they have a lot of sleepovers but they always share/sleep in the same bed (i told my bf i was weirded out by that and he said it wasn’t a big deal and they’ve just always done that since they were kids so i let it go). and they’re both very physically affectionate in general but they’re also really affectionate like that towards each other like they hold hands and stuff in public sometimes. and sometimes i go over to his and they’ll be having one of their movie nights and they’ll be cuddling on the couch. and last month was his birthday (it was his first birthday we’re celebrating together, we’ve been dating a few months now) and i was planning a whole thing for him so that his friends and all could be there but when i told his best friend about it she told me that he wouldn’t like it because they apparently have a thing where they celebrate each others birthdays together, just the two of them. i didn’t know about it before she told me and i thought it would be a bit different now because well i’m in the picture. but no, he told me that it was just their tradition and i didn’t get to celebrate his birthday with him at all. i’ve voiced some of these things to him but it always just comes down to the fact that they’ve known each other forever and that they’re like siblings and they’re just really close. and then that makes me feel bad and like i’m just being the stereotypical jealous girlfriend because they are really close because they had a really fucked up childhood and they only really had each other growing up. plus, his best friend’s been nothing but nice to me and i really don’t wanna hurt there relationship. i just don’t know what to think or feel sometimes

Late Edit after a very helpful correction made via THIS ASK -- I have used the term 'trauma bonding' incorrectly; really, I should have defined 'relationships with shared trauma' instead, as trauma bonding more closely defines an abuser/victim dynamic. Thank you to OP for the correction!

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Oh man...this is so much to unpack.

Trauma-bonded relationships can be very, very close. So close, that eventually, it begins to blur the lines, as a certain level of co-dependence becomes as intimate as a romance, if not more. It sounds, quite honestly, like this is what your boyfriend and his best friend may have.

I hate to say it, and I really am no expert, but I think your boyfriend and her need to really actually get to the bottom of it; is this a romance between them? If not, will they ever realistically be able to have stable, satisfying romances with other partners, while they are each fulfilling this most intimate role for the other?

Because it sounds like perhaps this is normal for them, unless they're both really taking you for a mug, and you're actually the side-piece. But normal for them doesn't necessarily make this guy romantic-relationship-suitable, because all of the things that he really should be that intimate with his girlfriend about...he does with another woman.

Personally, if this was me? I'd break up with the guy, but gently. It wouldn't be a blame thing; I'd say that his relationship with his best friend is a beautiful thing, but that fundamentally, it's so intimate that it requires further investigation by the both of them, and is all in all incompatible with an apparently monogamous relationship with another (i.e. you).

You may love him, and he may love you, but it seems that you are on different pages about what romantic love means to you, and what is a healthy boundary to expect from a partner in a committed monogamous relationship.

I certainly wouldn't be offering an ultimatum (it's me or her!) in this situation because, as you say, they are bonded by something that may be really quite traumatic and profound.

I'm sorry, anon. This is, of course, only what I would do. And I'm not a professional. But this is a complex situation with a lot of emotions at play, and the two people at the centre of it clearly have some things that need to be addressed.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[markantonys]

episode 5 thoughts!

heartbroken by no mat, but i was expecting it since min wasn't credited for this episode on imdb, and there was so much other amazing stuff going on, so i can cope. i do think they must be gearing up for a mat-heavy episode soon because his content has been so sparse thus far! we also didn't have lan this episode, which i'm good with since he got so much last week.

(minor imdb casting spoiler: ayoola isn't listed for ep6, so i'm guessing we may have no perrin next week. they definitely do have a lot of different groups to juggle! but IF mat & lan soon join the cairhien crew, we could condense things)

also sad at not much elayne, but again, the remaining episodes will probably be pretty big for her! same with egwene, that storyline didn't progress as fast as i'd thought it would in this episode, but OOF the preview for next week looks like A Lot!!

back to the beginning! falme looks SO COOL!!! and the opening scene with the seanchan was fantastic, it showed off so many different aspects of their culture in just a few minutes (namely their various Ceremonial Things and ideas of who's allowed to speak to whom)

lanfear just whispering "bitch" the second she revives killed me djkfjg what an icon. and we get confirmation that it is indeed the True Power that she used to revive herself.

Lanfear Unleashed is SO much fun oh my god, i love seeing her in full forsaken mode

moiraine telling rand that he can't sleep because lanfear will get him, girl don't tell him that he's going to internalize it and not sleep for the next 6 seasons. this season is really Wheel Of Time Origins: Rand's Various Emotional, Mental, and Physical Health Problems

elyas saying the ef5 aren't perrin's pack HOW DARE!!! i feel like they're making elyas even more standoffish/human-averse than he was in the books, which makes for an interesting dynamic and contributes to perrin's sense that his human & wolf sides can't coexist.

but hopper follows perrin!!!! the goodest boy!!!!!

AVIENDHA IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S EVERYTHING!!!!! although ngl her fake accent does sound a bit Fake to me lmao but i'm sure i'll get used to it after a few more scenes

hot dain bornhald is also here! he kinda compels me and i'm furious about it. if whitecloak why hot? in all seriousness, i can see already from his intro episode + the basics of his book story that he has the potential to be quite an interesting character if fleshed out more and given more screentime compared to what he had in the books, sort of a liandrin-and-alanna-like Main Secondary Whitecloak for us to follow

also he totally wants to fuck perrin you can't change my mind. buying him drinks and giving him a Cute Nickname, boy you ain't subtle! and then aviendha briefly hits on perrin later and also perrin stops her from killing dain. wake up babe, insane new WOT polycule just dropped djkfjfg

OB!!!! FREAKING!!!! SESSED!!!!!!!! with verin's detective subplot!!!! it is SO much fun, it delivers a ton of great exposition (namely about the black ajah), and it gives us a bigger peek into the brown ajah than the books ever did. i love this squad!! also katie leung was probably my first Girl Crush (not that i was aware of it) when i was like 8 so i was thrilled to see her show up here, god bless

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT GAVE US CONFIRMATION THAT GAWYN EXISTS IN SHOWVERSE!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH when i tell you i came extremely close both to screaming and to falling off my bed!!!! i'd been hoping for a gawyn namedrop all season but having it here was SO unexpected! my current theory is that he'll be introduced in caemlyn next season along with elaida and galad, and all 3 of them will head to tar valon to look for elayne because they're worried after not hearing from her for a long time.

also now i want a fic where the wondergirls actually do get special permission from mommy morgase to leave the tower just so that they can attend gawyn's birthday party

anyway, someday gawyn and egwene are going to kiss with tongue onscreen and haters can die mad about it <3 oooh now i have a brand-new meetcute for them to look forward to since they didn't meet at the tower!

liandrin & nynaeve's convo in the ways was so good! they continue to do amazing work with that relationship and liandrin's character. AND WHEN SHE SUBTLY FREED THE GIRLS RIGHT BEFORE LEAVING HOLY SHIT i gasped!!!!! the LAYERS they have given this character!!! because yes she serves the dark BUT she still feels loyalty to her sisters (as seen in s1 too when she appeared genuinely upset over kerene's death) and can't stomach the thought of any of them, even the light-serving ones, being collared!

suroth saying with her whole chest "oh sure you're a forsaken but you're not even of the blood soooooo" god grant me her confidence. also another great illustration of the insane heights to which seanchan high blood take their superiority complexes. good god, what's tuon gonna be like?!

avi's fight scene was just as amazing as i'd been hoping and expecting!! 10/10 no notes. can't wait to see what she can do when she has weapons at her disposal!

and later avi tells us that she is out in the wetlands Looking For Her Man (that she doesn't yet know is Her Man) <33

moiraine saying "get rand some nice new clothes" and barthanes immediately offering to dress him, Sugar Baby Rand lives on! also, anvaere and barthanes definitely thought rand was moiraine's sugar baby after they cleared the warder possibility, you can't change my mind

also also, barthanes is so surprisingly sweet! i wonder if he'll still be a darkfriend, or if anvaere will be instead

lanfear making ishy dream about caressing rand's face in bed is something i will go insane thinking about every day until i die. like oh my god i don't even know where to START with unpacking that, so i won't even try djfkjg

like for real, they ALL BUT made it explicitly canon that ishy had/has a crush on LTT/rand LMAO it's what we deserve

and we get forsaken namedrops! moghedien, graendal, and "the boys." it could be that semirhage did still make it and lanfear just chose not to go on and on listing every single one (slash the writers wanted to give themselves some leeway in specifically naming forsaken in case they don't get enough seasons to deal with all of them), or it could be that one of the statues from last season was actually a man and/or stepin's statues aren't accurate, and we've got 5 men instead of 4 (in which case i'd imagine ishy, asmodean, sammael, demandred, and rahvin)

i'm gonna have to watch this ishy & lanfear scene again to pick up more because i was FAR too distracted by the initial homoeroticism to keep focusing lmao

aww i'm kinda sad not to get elayne & nynaeve hiding out in falme completely on their own, but for their sakes it's nice they've found (been found by) some Real Adults to help!

LANFEAR'S OUTFIT IN THE END SCENE LMAO this season really just went off the WALLS with horniness and kinkiness, and i am here for it. it's what rj would've wanted

now that moiraine and rand are indeed staying in cairhien after all, i really think we might get a cauthor reunion next episode!!!! fingers crossed!!!!

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Hey I need to yell at you about Pack Play

First I wanna mention doppelgänger twice. I like him. He's basically the same as canon but I like him. Anyway, 

Once again your world building shines. Mating houses, what some wolves think of chew toys, the logistics of a rut room—love it love it love it

I know these two are probably a shade less platonic than a different pack would be, but I LOVE that the grooming and shared cycles ARE considered platonic. 

"Maybe, but you're my pack, And I take care of you." Delicious

The chuffing, dabi showing his stomach, shig nipping his throat, dabi WAITING FOR PERMISSION TO KEEP USING THE TOY!!! All the inhuman cues that show Dabi's submission are making me insane

And thinking about it from Shigs perspective??? The pretty, prickly alpha that probably challenged him at their first meeting now wants to be used so badly that he fucking goes limp???? And even better, it's because he trusts him?? 🥴🥴🥴

And don't get me wrong I love bitching, but this flavor of. Fuck idk. Domestic submission? Service kink? Wolves submitting to their leader no matter their dynamic, nearly got me skipping into work this morning

I'm curious about their biology in this too. Shig has a secondary sex, but dabi doesn't? Does that mean alphas are usually male and omegas female? Do pack dynamics change that, like could an omega be the alpha of a pack?

FEELING LIKE SHIG MATED HIM WITH THE CHEW TOY??????!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEE I AM SCREAMING LIKE A TEA KETTLE. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE THAT THEY'D GET LIKE A HORMONE RUSH FROM THE SCENT OF BLOOD WHILE FUCKING!!!

Thank you to whoever commissioned this, and of course to you tanco!!!

ehehehe thank you for yelling!

I know I talk about fics re-writing my brain chemistry, but god damn did this one fucking do that too! I had such a good time exploring a different interpretation of werewolf lore!

Shig was definitely losing it to his instincts to see Dabi displaying such perfect submission when, up to this point, he'd barely acknowledged him as his pack, let alone his alpha. It definitely made everything a little less platonic on his end right from the jump!

Yeessss, I really like this concept of pack dynamics for a world where secondary sexes aren't really a thing anymore. Like this is a world where ABO dynamics existed a very long time ago, but they were bred out of the population because they weren't as strong as just having synced cycles and pack-mating (especially for turned packs, which usually outnumber born packs). If there were male omegas/female alphas, they wouldn't exist in this day and age. And the holdovers of ABO traits are very mild, like with Shig who can just continue having a knot through his whole cycle, it's not that much of a difference to a normal male wolf like Dabi (even his thought that Shig's cycle would last longer, ended up being an incorrect assumption because they ended at the same time). On the other side, female wolves who have traces of Omega still in them might produce more slick that smells more strongly, but that's about it. It's not a notable difference and in a few more generations, these traits will likely be eradicated completely because they don't have a real biological/evolutionary advantage in modern society. These holdovers are entirely biological, and don't impact pack dynamics! Wolves of any sex or gender can be alphas, but there aren't pack omegas or betas, "alpha" now just refers to the leader of the group, and no one identifies as having a secondary sex in wolf society.

The psychosexual impact of having that smell and the fake flesh in their mouths nearly made the two of them feral, and we love that for them!! You bet your ass that the next time their cycle hits, they're going to be out there taking chomps out of each other's throats until their scents are so tangled that they'll give any other wolf/pret a headache if they are within a five-mile radius of them.

Thank you so much for commenting!

[jasontoddiefor]

Heyyyyy roses & champagne anon here! First your answer made me feral with all the juicy brain gremlins it spawned and then you wrote that little fic and I now I’m even more insane but like all I can picture is Leewon going “fuck this shit I’m out” at like age 11, running away, accidentally running into Caesar who’s already starting to get the feelings of “hippity hoppity I want you to be my property” weird little friendship starting to form.

And then years later Leewon in full on teenage rebellion bad decision making is like “what if I lost my virginity to this dude I sometimes hang out with that my dad can not stand? Wouldn’t that be fun?” and uh accidentally turns Caesar’s budding obsession with him over the years into full blown levels of “I am planning our wedding, it’s going to be in the summer because you get cold and then you will never ever leave me.” as Leewon is like damn the dirty talk in this fwb relationship hits hard

And then Leewon finally achieves his dream of fucking off back to Korea for college and does that without hesitation and then stays even longer for law school because he likes pretending he’s normal, he likes pretending his life is normal, (he’s a lawyer and his ass is lying, he could never truly be content with normalcy) and he only goes back because he wants to say a proper goodbye, after he graduates from law school

And uh proceeds to cheerfully greet the man whose heart he unintentionally shattered and now haunted like a ghost for seven years like nothing ever happened. Oops?

Also in regards for Vladimir I feel they got a weird resentment codependency going on there but also I can’t help but feel in a world that they grew up together they’d kind of be bickering gossiping friends at their core so it’s like “I hate the roles we have been forced into because one another, sometimes I think I even hate you, but you’re are still a core of my world and I don’t know how to exist without you because of this, anyway you will not believe with this one lady did at a party-“ kind of vibe going on. He’s pissed and hurt and resentful when Leewon goes back to Korea and he spends years soothing his and everyone else’s hurt and Leewon comes back and he’s angry for like 5 minutes before breaking and filling him on the latest gossip. Because I think they deserve to have a messy, complicated relationship that’s also overrun by the need to be a bitch and discuss drama because there is literally no other option in the mafia compound.

If you’ve got any more thoughts on this au I would love to hear them so badly!!

Anon you’re back!!!

Aaah thank you so much for your long ask, this absolutely made my evening (literally, I’m stuck in bed bc my back is killing me and am using my bluetooth keyboard to write this reply lying down hahaha)

Let’s start on the family side: time to reveal the fact that this AU also exists to like at least 30% because I wanted younger sibling Vladimir takes. That man already behaves like a spoiled younger brother in canon, he’d be terrible here. I do think their dynamic would be exactly as you said. Vladimir gets adopted to be Leewon’s companion, his right hand, raised to be loyal and trustworthy - his one and only friend after nearly a year of living in Russia. It fucks up their dynamic because they’re raised with clear expectations but at the same tie, the only way Leewon treats him is as a younger brother? Because that is the notion that makes the most sense to him at that age. When he realizes what Vladimir’s purpose is, he very much resents it? They have a bit of a falling out because to Vladimir, his older brother suddenly started distancing himself with no explanation as to why. And like, when he realizes the reason, he doesn’t really think it’s bad because he owns the Lomonosov his life anyway? Of course he’d die for his older brother. He loves him and that’s his job.

Anyway. Vladimir thinks Dimitri ain’t shit. He would never treat his boss like that and scheme. He’s built different (loyal like a most beloved dog). Leewon staying in Korea for his studies kind of helps Vladimir gain some perspective and insight into everything because nothing makes you reflect more than your codependent better half not being within reaching distance. But at the end of the day, he still doesn’t entirely mind. He stops pushing the boundary when Leewon enforces it (opposed to his behavior as a kid) but that’s about it. They are two very gossipy siblings.

To Leewon’s life!!! Anon I am !!! At how your ideas match mine. For the simpler things - Leewon absolutely puts his foot down about studying in Korea. It’s probably the biggest fight he and Mikhail ever have. I’m thinking maybe to the point it’s the first and only time Mikhail genuinely hurts Leewon in his anger? Like, Leewon has been hit before by his father, during training, but only seldom bc Mikhail frankly speaking has Issues and was not cut out for teaching his son violence himself. But yeah, they fight, there’s injury, and hmm. Not entirely sure if Leewon just stays in his room or moves to another property in the city until his flight to Korea, with Vladimir acting as an unwilling go between father and son because he ALSO thinks this is a shit idea, but if he says so then Leewon won’t talk to him anymore either (and then he wouldn’t talk to anyone, and it’s Vladimir’s job to advise his brother, but he’s supposed to be on his side even more.)

Anyway, Leewon leaves to study and I imagine he only comes home during the holidays which are incredibly tense the first year, but get better after. I don’t think Leewon quite has the concept of I could leave this life. He’s angry and frustrated, but not to the point where he can picture a life where he’s not the family heir? I think he mostly wants to run this business differently and that most of his frustration comes from his father raising him as this sheltered princess in the tower. His best friend is his little brother who his father adopted so he would have someone to talk to. That’s deeply fucked up, especially because he spent his first nine years just attending normal school and playing with the neighborhood kids. Even more, with his mother sick and dying early, Leewon at nine is fairly used to doing things independently, and now suddenly needing an adult to go with him everywhere, if he’s allowed out of the house at all, is horrible.

Now on to our hot mess, the red flag fuck himself.

I was also 200% thinking “oh yeah they absolutely fucked when Leewon was like 15”. To Caesar this is absolutely a game at that point, some matter of pride to get the enemy’s heir in his bed (or just. Beneath him. Imma be honest, I think Leewon ran away, got drunk at a bar and they fucked in a bathroom stall under dubious consent). Drunk teenagers with too much power and too many daddy issues. Leewon got “I’m doing sth that isn’t safe my father would freak about this” out of it.

Anyway, I do think Caesar would be amused at first, and then grow into his - as you put it so aptly it made me wheeze - “hippity hoppity I want you to be my property”. The 11 year old mouthing off against his kidnappers with little strength to back it up was entertaining (Caesar was honestly just there because it seemed easier to just let himself be taken to get to the guy whose head he needs to bash in than wait around) especially because he didn’t hold back. And then it’s a game, deflowering him, taking more and more pieces, not quite like collecting fountain pens or art, more the desire to consume entirely. Till death does them part, yes? Predictably, does not react well to Leewon’s “wow why is my bad decisions fuckbuddy so intense about me?” Behavior and being left out of Leewon’s plans.

My guy has just been assuming that them being fwb means they won’t try to constantly kill each other when they’re All Grown Up and in charge of their father’s businesses. I think this Leewon would very much enjoy the illusion of normalcy, matching Caesar’s freak in the way he reacts when it is interrupted. But I think that also means he’s rather peculiar about upholding the status quo to a degree.

Meanwhile Dimitri has been under the assumption Caesar has been running a long con trying to gobble up Lomonosov via making its heir his boytoy.

Well this got long but I hope you enjoyed my thoughts!!! Feel free to dm me any time, I’d love to hear more of your ideas!

[lady-october]

Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Previous Chapters : 1-14 on Archive of Our Own

Content : 18+, Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Dom/Sub, Sadism/Masochism, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Breath play, Dirty talk.

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

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Chapter 15: My head wasn't wired for this world

Chapter title is lyrics from "Avalanche"

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Oli was slouched over at the front of the stage, legs dangling over the edge near the barricades, looking out over the vast, dark and empty space, only dimly lit by a handful of spotlights throughout the arena.

When I slowly ascended the steps to the stage I pushed away the fear I felt about these types of spaces. While avoiding the stage completely was impossible when working on the touring team, I had always made my time on them as short as humanly possible, never actually taking in the view. 

There was just something about how you could be seen so clearly from the entire arena when you were up here that made me anxious, but the fact that only Oli and I were here made the whole experience a lot more palatable, so I crouched down and took a seat next to him and let myself look out over the empty floor and seats, still covered in the majority of tonight's confetti and debris.

“I’ve never really seen an arena like this before.” I said with wonder.

“You’ve worked with us for like a month now, how is that possible?” He didn’t look my way as he spoke flatly, clearly upset.

My response came a lot quieter than my previous statement, “I try to avoid the stage as much as I can.” 

Silence fell between us as I wasn’t sure how to approach the topics that were haunting us both, not even sure what I felt up for talking about.

“Thank you for last night. I was a bit of a mess.” Was the best I could come up with.

“Don’t worry about it.” Some of the bitterness emitting off of him dissipated, so I decided to take the plunge into the harder topic.

“I’m sorry about all this stuff with Mat.”

He huffed out a frustrated laugh, his eyes darting everywhere except in my direction.

“I feel like I’m going insane. Listening to you flirt with someone else…” His demeanour changed rapidly along with his tone of voice, now laced with anger, “Guess I had it coming after what I did to you at the party the other night.”

My heart sank. Did he really think I was doing this to hurt him?

“I’m not a vengeful person, Oli.” My own words came angrier than I’d intended.

He dropped his head, shaking it, appearing utterly defeated, “Then what the fuck are you doing, Alice…” He muttered.

“I don’t know.” I said, more to myself than him. 

As I watched him not being able to face me, my heart ached so much that I couldn’t take it anymore. I got to my feet and started to make my way towards the steps. But I could hear him moving behind me, and right before I could exit the stage he pushed in front of me, shooting me daggers.

He appeared furious, yet all I could feel was a huge sense of relief over the fact that he was finally looking at me.

“Mat’s a good man, charming too – a lot less troubled than I am.” As he spoke he stalked me backwards, clearly intent on not letting me leave yet.

But I didn’t mind, I wanted his attention.

I almost immediately hit the wall of the second stage level that had yet to be disassembled, and I was left with a view of the arena, swimming behind the man that had cornered me, staring down at me with such intensity that I wouldn’t have been able to tell whether he was about to fuck me or argue with me if it wasn’t for the context of the situation.

“Who said I want someone less troubled?” I asked, feeling an involuntary shiver of lust snake its way up my spine from his threatening approach.

“It’s not a stretch to assume, is it?” He took one last step towards me, not quite close enough to touch me, but close enough that I could feel the heat emitting off of him, “We’ve fought over women in the past – he tends to win.”

“I find that hard to believe.” I gingerly placed my hand on his warm chest, both because I couldn’t resist touching his bare, art covered skin over the buttons of his revealing jacket, but also because I wanted to show him where my attraction lay between the two men.

His gaze dropped to my hand before he shot me a bitter smile, “Women want to fuck me, not date me.” I swallowed and removed my hand, realising how my gesture had come across considering what he just told me, “At least not once they get to know me… I think the problem is we’re drawn to similar women, and that type of women tend to favour men like Mat in the end.”

While my feelings had obviously chosen Oli already, what he was saying made a surprising amount of sense, especially if you were the type of person who craved stability over passion. Yet I couldn’t help but feel like a complete imposter, clearly not worthy of either man's attention.

“Men generally don’t want much to do with me in either department.” I felt pathetic admitting it to him, and saying the words out loud somehow solidified how I didn’t belong here.

He watched me for a while, as if trying to make sense of what I was saying.

“Thought we agreed on no more lies, love.” While his words could have been construed as accusive, his tone was sweet, turning his sentence more flirty. But I didn’t feel flirty, I felt like the shy loser I’d been trying to run away from; I felt like the girl trapped living with a man she didn’t love, because she was too scared of the world.

The familiar burn of unshed tears began to sting at the back of my eyes, “It’s not a lie. I’m fucking broken.”

I tried to push past him but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder, and placed the other under my chin, guiding me to look at him as a lone tear ran down my cheek.

“Alice, that’s madness.” All the intensity on him had melted away, replaced with a soft and caring voice that matched the expression of his beautiful eyes.

“I can’t do this. I’m not made for this life.” I said quietly as I tried to keep the dam from bursting inside me, entirely too fed up with crying.

Frowning, he let go of my chin to dry my wet cheek, “Of course you are, life can be whatever you want it to be.”

“I have social anxiety.” I blurted out, trying to make him understand why I’m not right for him, for either of them.

“I know.” His response came immediately, completely unsurprised and unbothered. 

Of course he already knew, it couldn’t be more obvious from the way I behave on a daily basis.

My head dropped out of embarrassment, “How am I supposed to be with a celebrity when I can barely keep from stuttering when talking in front of more than two people at a time.”

“Your stutter’s adorable, anyone with half a brain cell can see that.”

When I dared to look back up at him, I was met by eyes swimming with adoration. But I decided that it was misplaced, that his perception of me was skewed and incorrect, so I kept pushing.

“Whenever I’m not distracted enough, I get so depressed I can barely leave my bed for weeks.”

He placed a hand on the wall next to my head and leaned in closer with a smirk, “Lots of things we can do in bed.”

I felt my cheeks flush at his words, but the pain remained, “Oli, please… I’m broken.”

His smirk fell away as he looked at me with sympathy, followed by a sigh, “I’ve got addiction issues, chronic nightmares, ADHD, and I also slip into depression at times. We’re all broken, love.”

His eyes lit up suddenly and the faintest hints of a smile reappeared on his lips.

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asked out of nowhere.

I couldn’t help but frown in confusion, “What?”

“Favourite colour.” He repeated, more demanding this time.

“I-I mean, blue I guess–”

“Favourite food?”

“Sushi. Why are you–”

He looked utterly appalled as he cut me off with judgement in his voice, “Fucking disgusting, you should reconsider that.”

I gasped, eyebrows knotting into a deep frown, “Oh please, you’ve probably never tried any good sushi– and before you argue that you don’t eat fish, there’s plenty of good options without it– also, rich coming from Mister I basically only eat things that are so processed I can’t even tell what’s in it!”

As I was ranting his whole face bloomed into an absolutely delighted smile, causing my annoyance to spread further.

“I love when you’re like this.”

My jaw dropped, “You like when I'm annoyed!?”

He chuckled, “Relaxed.”

“Trust me, I’m not relaxed.”

“Your guard’s down. You’re just yourself – wild opinions and all. I don’t get to see it too often. It’s mostly been when you’ve cussed me out, or when we…” His gaze dropped out of what seemed akin to embarrassment, and his smile turned significantly more suggestive, “You know.”

All the annoyance left me immediately at the sight of him struggling to talk about sex, causing me to adopt a more cheerful expression.

“I thought I was the shy one, you can’t even say it?” I teased.

A low and absolutely filthy laugh left him, “Honestly love, if I start talking about it I’ll just get hard, and I’d rather focus on getting to know you better right now.” Without skipping a beat he moved on to his next question, “Favourite animal?”

“And why is right now the time to get to know me?”

“Why not? Favourite animal.”

My smile grew as I looked at him. I couldn’t tell if this was an attempt to cheer me up by moving away from the dreary topic, or if this was his way of showing that he’s still interested in me, despite all my flaws – or maybe it was because Mat had gotten a chance to learn more about me and he felt left out. Regardless of the reasons, I wasn’t going to deny him this. 

“Cats.”

Disbelief painted his features, “Fuck off, dogs are so much better.”

“They slobber everywhere.” I retorted, scrunching up my face.

“Not all dogs, and cats are mischievous little bastards.”

“You should be able to relate then.” I don’t know how he did it, but he’d somehow managed to completely turn my mood around, and get me right back to feeling flirty.

The fight faded from him instantly at my remark, and he lowered his head with a grin. When his eyes returned to mine they were dark and playful.

“Favourite artist?” 

I paused, considering my response, “Is that a trick question?”

“Of course.” He responded, studying my face.

Suddenly his lighthearted demeanour began to shift, turning more serious. When his next question came it was asked with a distinctly more thoughtful tone, clearly punctuating that we’re venturing into significantly deeper waters.

“What’s a dealbreaker to you?”

As his eyes pierced mine I felt the moment turn heavy from the loaded question. I knew that these types of conversations were incredibly important to determine whether we were compatible at all. But there were always great risks to learning the answers, with the looming potential of completely derailing any thoughts of what could have been.

I felt my heart rate speed up as I decided to join him in the depth, addressing the thing that should have put an end to my last relationship years ago if it wasn’t for my fears.

“I.. don’t think I want children.”

He visibly relaxed at my response, “Good, cause I’ve had a vasectomy.”

A sense of relief washed over me, knowing I’d never have to worry about that pressure with him if we decided to take things further – and suddenly his willingness to cum inside me made so much more sense. For me it had always been an easy decision, having had an IUD for years.

The part where we both made ourselves vulnerable to disease however, that can’t be chalked up to anything besides the stupidity that so easily surfaces when you’re beyond a certain level of turned on, and common sense flies right out the window.

While I wanted to return the question to him, to learn what would rule me out as a potential future partner, I also found myself curious as to why he’d done something so permanent to prevent having children when there’s less invasive ways.

“How come? I mean, I understand not wanting children, but why something so… final?”

“I just don’t want to risk it. I’ve been sure I don’t want kids for a long time. It’s not that I dislike them or anything, but with all my issues I’ve really just wanted to focus on myself and what’s important to me,” Before he continued, a softness emerged in his tone of voice, ”...such as finding love, and making that person a priority in my life.”

Understanding that the last bit had been aimed at me, I felt the familiar discomfort bubble under the surface, so I decided to steer the conversation back on track.

“What about you, what’s your deal breakers?”

He answered immediately, his response dripping with bitterness, “Cheating.”

“That’s a given. What else?”

There was a pause this time.

“Being shut out emotionally.” He answered, hints of sadness emitting from him. 

His reply stirred up some confusion in me, an uncertainty whether he was referring to some of my behaviour, spoken as a pleading to let him into my heart. Or whether it had been in reference to something that happened in his past.

“Anything else?” He added.

It was my turn to think, but it didn’t take long.

“Someone trying to control me.”

He huffed out an amused laugh, “You sure about that? You seem to enjoy it a fair bit.”

I smiled back at him, “Not like that… Someone trying to make me something I’m not, which sounds daft cause I barely even know who I am anymore, but I just, I want space to figure that out.”

His hazel eyes swam with emotion as his hand reached for my cheek, the back of his fingers caressing my skin with the same tenderness as last night. While the gesture tugged at my heart, I couldn't for the life of me understand why he had any interest in someone like me.

“How can you be sure you have feelings for me, if I’m just a shell of a person?” I asked under my breath.

“I’m not sure that’s true, love.” He responded, speaking softly, “I know you’re kind, witty – incredibly sexy, and you’re working really hard to get to know and explore yourself, which I don’t just really admire, but it’s a journey I’ve been on myself for a while now.”

“What if I become something… undesirable?” As I asked my question that so clearly highlighted my insecurities, I was struck with the realisation that I wasn’t sure I’ve ever been this emotionally vulnerable with anyone before.

“I find that very hard to believe.” He scanned my face, “Is that what this is about, you’re scared I won’t like who you become?”

The truth is that I wasn’t sure I’d survive that intense degree of rejection. While mind numbing and soul destroying, it had been infinitely simpler to stay so void of personality for so long. At least then if someone disliked me it didn’t mean much at all. But if I grew into myself, accepted who I was as a person with opinions and interests, only for someone to decide that I wasn’t good enough? The thought of that alone was hard enough, I couldn’t even imagine the heartbreak if that level of rejection came from someone I actually loved.

“Part of it, but not all of it.” An honest answer without going into the specifics, or delving into the other reasons I’m full of uncertainty.

Some of the previous intensity made a reappearance on him, “It would be an honour to help you find yourself, love – no matter who you become.”

I looked away awkwardly, knowing how much he’d already kickstarted my self discovery, “In some ways you already have.” I opened and shut my mouth a couple of times before I found the words to continue, “I didn’t know I liked some things before… sexually.”

Suddenly his eyelids lowered, and so did his tone of voice, “Like being called a whore?” 

The way he emphasised the word immediately made my knees weak, and I had to lean more of my weight onto the wall behind me.

I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I simply nodded.

A quick grin flashed over his lips as he gently placed his hand over my throat, causing my breath to hitch.

“Being choked…” 

His words sounded distant as his dark gaze was transfixed on his hand on me, 

“...Humiliated,” 

His thumb leisurely ran up my throat to graze my jaw.

I nodded again, a bit more shaky this time, which seemed to have snapped him out of the lustful state he’d clearly lost himself in for a moment, as his eyes shot back to mine, appearing more sober now.

He swallowed and let his hand fall away from me before stepping aside to lean against the wall next to me, leaving me unpleasantly cold after having relished the heat radiating off of him for so long.

We stared out into the dark space together for a beat before he continued speaking, allowing me some much needed time to collect myself, and slow my breathing that had apparently become quite laboured.

“I’ve done some similar things before, but it’s different with you, in a way that makes my past experiences seem shallow and meaningless.” His words still sounded distant, “I see it in your eyes, you know. It doesn’t just turn you on, does it? It's like you come alive from it.” He huffed out a small laugh then threw me a side glance, “Or am I just talking out my ass here?”

I tried to meet his eyes, but he instantly looked away when I turned my head towards him, as if fighting himself to not slip back into his previous carnal state, not ready to stop talking to me just yet.

“No, I think you explained it pretty well actually.” I answered, sounding just as flustered as I felt, made obvious by the way he shifted his body in discomfort as I spoke, letting his head rest against the wall as he shut his eyes for a second, appearing tense from the invisible restraints he’d put himself in. 

After taking a deep breath he pressed on, “Thing is, you’re so desperate for me to push you further and further that I’m constantly torn between holding back too much, or taking things too far. It makes me not trust myself,” He allowed himself to look at me as he spoke the next words, sounding apologetic, “...or you for that matter.”

My brows furrowed, “But, I promised I’d let you know if things go too far.”

He gave me a sombre smile, “Doesn’t matter if you don’t want to be safe, love.”

While his concerns made sense, my subconscious didn’t agree with him.

“I think that maybe you’re mistaking my trust in you for carelessness.”

It was his turn to frown. He studied my face for a long time with a contemplative expression, clearly deep in thought from my statement. After a while he looked away with a sigh. When his gaze travelled back to mine, it seemed he’d allowed himself to feel some of the lust he’d so valiantly attempted to push away, as if my counter argument had won during his internal battle. Because his eyes were suddenly dark and hungry – and his voice matched them perfectly.

“You like it when I scare you, don’t you?” 

My whole body reacted to the question, heating up, yearning – wanting to finally be touched, to be played with. Our conversation had gone on for so long, repeatedly slipping into desire, yet we’ve been continuously ripped away from it. The more times it happened the more desperate the both of us clearly grew.

As I slowly nodded in response to his question, his gaze fell to my dark lips, and a pained expression flashed over his features, “To be honest love, drives me wild to see some fear on you.” His eyes travelled back up to mine and his next words were spoken under his breath, “...How fucking wet you get from it.”

My pulse descended between my legs, soaking me further, adding to the wetness already lingering there from each time he’d turned me on tonight.

He held out his hand, indicating for me to take it. As I slipped my fingers into his open palm, he led me to stand before him.

“Take this off.” He murmured, giving my sweater a gentle tug.

I was suddenly acutely aware of our location. Knowing Oli repeatedly had me do compromising things in precarious places, I should have expected somewhere like this to be on the table. But since I was still relatively clothed underneath my sweater, I decided to go along with his request without overthinking it.

I slipped the sweater over my head to reveal the vulgar, silk dress, with a deep, plunging neckline underneath, along with the marks on my body that I hadn’t bothered using concealer on due to how well the fabric had hid them all. He immediately took the sweater off me, flinging the offending garment to the side of the stage where it disappeared into the darkness.

As he took in the sight of me, he released a long, ragged sigh, “Fucking travesty to cover this up.” 

He slipped a hand to the small of my back and crushed my body against his, and I could immediately feel the outline of his hard cock pressed against my stomach. 

At no point had I dared sneak a peek between his legs during our conversation, knowing I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else considering his attire.

Heat spread rapidly throughout my whole being at the sudden full body contact, causing my heart rate to speed up along with my breathing. I reached for his chest to steady myself against him, to feel him, digging my fingers into the bright red fabric of his cropped jacket, forcing it to shift under my hands and reveal more of the inkwork hidden there.

When my vision eventually ripped itself away from his chest in order to travel upwards, I was met with parted lips, and tufts of hair framing a delightfully lust-riddled face, so close to my own that our heavy breaths mingled.

A thumb appeared at my mouth, placing itself gently on my lower lip adorned by the dark, velvety lipstick.

“This is new for you.” He whispered with a flash of a grin, mesmerised by the sight of his thumb as it grazed along the lip, smudging the colour there, my mouth opening further from the intoxicating sensation, “...I love it.”

I was so lost in what he was doing to me that I’d completely forgotten where we were, which Oli decided it was time to correct, as he grabbed me by the hips to turn me around. The reminder of the view caused my eyes to widen, shyness creeping back in from every angle. But the man behind me pulled me flush against his warm and solid body again, causing me to effortlessly, eagerly melt back into him – back to the same intoxicated state he had me locked in mere moments ago, now with his cock nestled perfectly against my ass.

With his lips against my ear, dark hair falling into my peripheral vision, warm breaths fanning my cheek, all I could do was close my eyes and drown in him as his hands started roaming my body.

“No, open your eyes.” He whispered against my ear, one of his hands slowly caressing my inner thigh, with the other holding me firmly against him, splayed on my stomach.

I fulfilled his request, prying my eyes open, feeling the discomfort wash over me as I stared out into the massive, open space.

“Wouldn’t want you to forget where you are, now would we?” I could feel his lips twist into a smile against my ear as he spoke softly, clearly deriving great pleasure from my distress, further adding to my unease and arousal in equal parts.

The hand on my stomach began trailing upwards, caressing the bare skin between my breasts, so flimsily covered by the black silk.

“Do you have any idea how much I love to make you uncomfortable, my dear, sweet Alice?” His words came low as his lips moved along my ear, “...To watch you squirm, trying your very best to keep it together for me like a good whore.” 

His hand disappeared under the fabric, shifting it slowly to reveal one of my breasts to the empty arena. My heart rate sped up further, making me feel slightly lightheaded.

I felt his dick tense against me before he whispered, “Too much?”

Knowing that I’d probably be having a panic attack right now if I wasn’t in such a lust induced trance didn’t matter one bit – I knew I didn’t want to stop.

“No.” I breathed, nearly a moan.

My response made him cup my breast, playing with it, feeling the weight of it in his hand, causing his breathing to come heavier against my cheek before the hand on my thigh finally began travelling upwards, finally reaching my core, causing my own breath to catch, grabbing for his arms that snaked around me to further steady myself.

“Do you wanna be fucked right here, on stage?” He whispered, nestling his head closer to mine, causing more of his hair to fall into my vision.

I nodded against him, my open mouth panting as his fingers circled my clit.

He breathed out another whisper, “You’re that fucking desperate for me?”

Gooseflesh began spreading over my skin from his teasing, demeaning questions.

“Yes.” I breathed, causing him to release a low, devilish laugh that vibrated against my back.

“Of course you are.”

To my disappointment, the fingers between my legs disappeared, only to immediately reappear beneath my mouth. 

“I’d love to fuck this pretty, painted, little mouth of yours.” The warm and slick fingers followed the shape of my lower lip as he spoke, leaving wet skin behind – at no point actually touching the lip itself, as if to preserve the colour there.

Suddenly his hands fell away before he grabbed me by the hips again, pushing me off of him.

“Down on your knees.” He demanded as I struggled to stay upright without the solid body to lean against.

When I turned around he was already reaching for his belt, where his hard cock was pulling the already tight fabric awkwardly taut, his intoxicated expression confirming that he was every bit as desperate for this as I was.

I eagerly fell to my knees before him, watching in anticipation as he took his time unbuckling his belt.

“Now, we’re gonna test you a bit, love.”

I ripped my eyes away from his bulge as he spoke, in order to look up at him, instantly consumed with excitement from the promise of the mysterious trial to come.

“You’re gonna be good for me and tap my leg if I take it too far.”

He finished with his belt and unbuttoned the trousers, only leaving the zipper left to undo, but he stopped to lean forward, taking hold of my chin with a more sober expression, hair falling over his pleading eyes as he looked down at me, “I’m trusting you here, yeah?”

I swallowed, understanding the personal significance of his statement. So I tried my best to fight through the cloud of desire I was so hopelessly lost in to deliver my words with as much sincerity as I possibly could.

“I’ll tap, I promise...”

There was a punctuated sense of intimacy as we stared into each other's eyes, something infinitely deeper at play than carnal needs. While I’d managed to place my trust in his hands, expecting him to keep me safe as we explored, up until now I haven’t returned the favour. He was asking me to meet him halfway, allowing him to relax and not overextend himself as he looked after me, handing me his rarest commodity – trust, begging me not to break it.

“...You can trust me.” I whispered, to further clarify that I understood the gravity of his request.

An unreadable emotion flickered over his features before he let go of my chin and leaned back, undoing the zipper that had already started to slip from the pressure of his length pushing on it. It sprung free with a bounce, the head glistening from the precum collecting there, his trousers sliding down to reveal his art covered thighs.

I felt my mouth begin to water at the sight, overcome with an intense need to taste it right now, but as I leaned in his fingers laced into my hair and held me in place.

“Only use your tongue, love.” He breathed, and while keeping his fingers in my hair, his hand relaxed, allowing me to move freely again.

I instantly took advantage of my freedom, darting my tongue out to taste the precum, licking it off of him, relishing the taste as I watched the veins of his length grow more defined from my actions.

When I was satisfied with my work, having gotten most of the delectable liquid in my mouth, I moved to the base of his cock, looking up at his glazed over eyes barely visible though his unruly locks, the unwavering gaze locked on me as I let my tongue travel along his length eagerly. The sensation caused a ragged breath to leave him, along with his dick to tense and bob upwards, touching my lips on the way down, leaving an imprint of my mouth behind in the dark, contrasting colour of my lipstick.

As soon as my tongue had flicked off the tip, his fingers in my hair grabbed me again.

“Let’s see how much you can take.” His words came deep and rough, then he guided my open mouth over his head, pushing me further and further down his shaft until it threatened to cause my gag reflex to kick in, but he kept pushing me down on his cock until it hit the back of my throat. Right before I felt myself begin to gag, he released a sound so incredible I felt my pussy throb between my legs, then pulled me off of him.

“Not bad, love.” He breathed, sounding even more inebriated with lust than before. When my eyes managed to focus again, I took in the vision of his slick cock before me; a clear imprint of my lips around it, showcasing exactly how much I’d been able to fit in my mouth, which had been more than I’d expected.

I looked up at him with a proud smile, a quick smile flashed back at me before returning to his previous intoxicated state.

“Open up.” He murmured, before quickly pushing me back down on him as soon as my lips parted enough to let him in. I placed my hands on the warm and art covered skin of his thighs to steady myself as he guided me to suck him in long strokes. His hand fell away from me entirely, allowing me the ability to pleasure him on my own terms.

More ragged breaths and small moans started to slip from his lips, so I looked up to enjoy the sight of him as I worked his cock; his chest was heaving, head leaned against the wall with his eyes shut, his expression flickering to a pained desperation every so often.

“Fuck, you’re doing incredible things.” He breathed, nearly whimpered out, through his other delicious noises, right before his eyes snapped to meet mine, the familiar aggression so prominently on display there.

His fingers shoved their way back into my hair, to hold me firmly in place about halfway down his shaft. But then his other hand appeared in front of my eyes, suddenly pinching my nose shut. My eyes widened in surprise, causing his eyelids to grow heavy as he watched me realise what was going on.

An exhilarating rush of mixed emotions washed over me, intensified by the fact that I didn’t have a full lungs worth of air in me. I felt my nails dig into his thighs as I was entirely too quickly running out of air. Seconds passed and I could feel more precum spill into my mouth, making it obvious how much he was enjoying the sight of my struggle. But his eyes were watching me intensely, expecting – hoping I would put an end to this when I was ready.

Another beat passed and I felt myself grow increasingly desperate for air, so I did as I’d promised; I tapped his leg.

He instantly pulled me away from his cock, letting go of my nose in the same motion. 

I slumped forward before him, inhaling sharply several times to catch my breath. 

When I’d recovered enough to sit back up, my vision was swimming with his hand working his length as he waited for me, causing the lipstick left there to smudge and fade.

“You’re doing so good, love.” He said with adoration in his voice.

I felt a depraved smile grow on my lips before I parted them for him, indicating that I wanted more.

He huffed out a breath, a smile tugging at his own lips from my eagerness, before his hand slipped back into my hair to guide me into the same position as moments ago.

“Take a deep breath this time, love. Let’s see how long you hold it for me.” He said under his breath. As soon as I inhaled he placed his hand over my nose again, restricting my breathing completely.

Immediately I tasted more precum entering my mouth, followed by the sensation of my own juices running down my thigh. I was in heaven, completely and utterly blessed as I felt the steady pulse of his heartbeat through his cock on my lips, on my tongue, as he was getting off on withholding something so vital from me as air.

Without realising it, my eyes had fallen shut as I was enjoying the sensations and trying to focus on preserving my air supply so I could stay like this for longer.

“Look at me.” His voice came so low and desperate, when my eyes met his again they were glowing with hunger.

I felt his hand in my hair grip me tighter, pushing me further down his shaft with a shaky exhale, his cock tensing in my mouth as my tongue moved along it.

“You’re incredible.” He said so quietly it was barely audible before he gently started moving his hips against me, slowly fucking my mouth, instantly increasing the difficulty of my already challenging task.

Once again I felt my nails involuntarily dig into his thighs as I struggled, which seemed to only spur him on as a particularly delectable moan left him followed by several ragged breaths, his fingers venturing deeper into my hair, pushing me down on him further, almost as deep as when he was testing me. Suddenly I was fighting against my gag reflex as well as my need for air, and in my overwhelmed state I’d apparently shut my eyes again.

“Keep your fucking eyes on me.” He demanded, a lot louder than anything else we’ve said on the stage tonight, causing a small echo to travel throughout the vast space of the arena.

I could taste more precum as I pried my eyes back open, the man above me emitting a restrained, desperate energy, his dark eyes completely glazed over. My need for air was reaching a breaking point, I began pushing at his thighs out of reflex, not actually wanting to come up for air just yet, but he held me firmly in place – knowing that’s not what we agreed on. When I didn’t tap he pushed me down on him harder, this time pressing himself against the back of my throat with a moan, sending a shiver of lust throughout my body despite my obvious discomfort. But that was the last thing I got to enjoy before the moment had to come to an end, as it was time to tap.

The millisecond my hand hit his thigh he was already pulling out, knowing how far I’d pushed myself. After I’d collapsed against him, I clung to his leg as I recovered, coughing from the sensation of fullness still lingering in my throat where he’d pushed down on me.

This time he didn’t leave me enough time to recover though, his hand slipping right back into my hair, guiding my breathless face back into his view.

“You look perfect like this.” He whispered, working his soaking dick in long strokes over me, shaking the hair out of his eyes as he panted heavily. His words and the sight of him caused a tired smile to blossom on my lips, feeling high as a kite from arousal after having been played with in new, wonderful ways.

“All messy and breathless…” The grip on my hair tightened as his strokes came faster, “Do you have any idea how tempting it is to cum all over you right now? Have you walk to the dressing room fucking covered in it.” His expression shifted into a sadistic smile, sending more shivers throughout my whole body. He exhaled sharply, “Giving me that look doesn’t help, love. It’s only making me want to do it more.”

He’d made a similar statement at the afterparty, in the end he’d cum in my mouth instead. But I knew this time was different; I was already a mess, and the dressing rooms weren’t that far away. I couldn’t tell if I was negotiating with myself or not, but somehow the reward outweighed the risk massively, as I couldn’t imagine anything I wanted more in this moment either. Just the thought of him coming all over me on the stage he mere hours earlier performed in front of thousands of people, elicited a type of thrill that I wasn’t sure I’d experienced before. When I opened my mouth to speak I could feel my heart pounding between my legs, feeling dizzy from arousal and breathlessness.

“Please, just cover me.” I breathed – a flustered whisper, causing his expression to turn even more desperate, his breathing coming rough and quick as his gaze travelled along my body. I looked down to see clear liquid pooling on his tip, obviously close to the edge, confirmed by his strokes slowing down significantly. My eyes snapped back to him, his head rolled back for a moment before looking back down on me with extremely heavy eyelids. His strokes turning jerky as the warm liquid fired over me, the first shot landing on my lips, I instantly darted my tongue out to taste it before I felt it dripping down my chin, dripping into my lap, joined by the second shot that hit my throat, running down between my breasts as he groaned and sighed.

“Fuck.” He breathed in delight as the third shot covered my face, but thankfully missed my eyes.

He was barely done coming when his hand fell away from my hair.

“On all fours, now!” He demanded as he shoved me to face the empty seats. As soon as I fell forward in the right direction, he pushed into me with ease as my skirt had already hiked up on its own accord from kneeling. I felt myself instantly lose control of my body as he moved inside me; I moaned entirely too loud, trying to stop myself, knowing someone might hear me, but the sounds just kept coming as his fingers dug deep into the flesh of my hips, pounding me hard and fast, my whimpers and moans mingling with the slapping sounds that echoed all around us. His exhales and moans joined mine, as he suddenly fell forward on top of me, my arms giving out from the impact. I was delightfully crushed by his weight, heaving breaths and moans being exhaled next to my ear, with more warm liquid filling me up with each pump.

When he was done, the only sound that remained was our laboured breathing.

“Fucking hell, love…” He started, his voice rough and unsteady, “It’s been a while since I came twice in a row.”

Without giving either of us any time to recover, he pushed himself up, pulling out in the same motion, eliciting one last moan from me. I heard the clanging of his belt as he was already putting himself back together. I don’t know how he’d sobered up so quickly as I was completely out of it; freshly pounded, breathless, and dripping of cum.

“I’ve made a right mess of you,” He muttered, still sounding shaky and short of breath, but he was clearly in a rush, “let’s get you sorted.”

A hand appeared on my shoulder before I got rolled onto my back, feeling like a ragdoll. I looked up at his flushed face as he slipped his hands under my body, collecting me in his arms with ease before stalking off with me.

All I could do was cling to him as he swept me away from the stage, my mind entirely too blank – entirely too happy, to feel any anxiety about my state, or who might see me like this.

... Subscribe to the story on Ao3 for future updates

[teruthecreator]

Mingus.

AND IIIII GET A LITTLE BIT MINGUS KHAN DONT WANT YOU TO GET IT ON WITH NOBODY ELSE BUT MINGUS. WITH NOBODY ELSE BUT MINGUS KINGUS

Sexuality Headcanon:

i dont really think about this too much but she has a bit of bisexual slay i think

Gender Headcanon:

cis woman for sure tho she could have a bit of agender slay if she wanted

A ship I have with said character:

now this is gonna seem like a big surprise to everyone, I Know, but i REALLY like normingus. i think about these two CONSTANTLY like something well and truly sinister has taken over my brain and reduced me down to a child slamming two barbies together like “theyre kissing theyre kissing” like its bad for me. god just like. the flavors of normingus you can have. the bitter rivals/enemies to reluctant friends to lovers pipeline is real and it lives in my heart. truly and honestly i think they are an untapped well of potential EVEN OUTSIDE OF JUST STRAIGHT UP SHIPPING THEM. i think their dynamics of being like two sides of the same coin when it comes to callum is super interesting, and theorizing on how they both could grow and change as people post ch3 is super fun to do bc like. they both have been given a second chance at life, how will they use it? also there’s the fact that mingus hires norm on and finally has a reliant employee other than tango. the kind of bond these two could forge even outside of a romantic sense is really cool and i wish more people touched on it!!!! tho of course i Do still rlly like them in a romantic context im ngl, and i Also wish people explored this dynamic more. but In General i think norm and mingus are an untapped well of potential!!!!!!!!!!! and i have literally TOO MANY fic ideas revolving them it’s actual insanity

A BROTP I have with said character:

mingus and tango have a dynamic that im EXTREMELY fond of, partially by my own doing. i think the like begrudging (on mingus’ end) friendship they have is so special. like tango is just an employee but he’s also been at mingus’ side for the longest time and is probably the one person she can trust to back her up if shit goes awry. but GOD FORBID if you ever told tango that he would start giggling and kicking his feet like fucking spongebob and you’d never hear the end of it. so mingus has to keep him at arms length even though i think she genuinely sees some parts of herself in him and wants to encourage him to thrive. in a suuuuuuper post canon world, when mingus eventually steps down as mayor, i think she fully endorses and encourages tango to run in her stead. a passing of the torch, in a way, and tango takes the endorsement VERY personally like i think he’d start bawling and hug her so tight and mingus would reluctantly return the embrace. god they’re just so silly you guys

A NOTP I have with said character:

i have yet to see a ship with mingus that has genuinely made me scratch my head so uh. nothing for here!

A random headcanon:

this is kind of random and i touch on it in tryt, but i think she collects knickknacks (specifically novelty snowglobes but also other things). i think her office in town hall is very deliberately kept very sterile and like. devoid of personal affectations because she is trying to maintain an Image there. but her house is a different fuckin story. i think callum probably started collecting novelty snowglobes and mingus just noticed how her house growing up was full of them, and eventually when her dad died and she was given the house back she just. continued callums collection. started bidding for super expensive ones on ebay and going out of her way to find antique stores with little knickknacks from her pawpaws time. i think it would be a kind of private joy for her, to have this ongoing collection of Things some of which connect her with her pawpaw, and something she would NEVER dare show another soul. that is, until she starts making friends and having people over and everyone can realize how much of an oddball she truly is <3

General Opinion over said character:

guys i really fucking like mingus. mingus is FASCINATING as a character like she takes herself so seriously and yet is So Ridiculous it’s really funny. and just her whole motivations and her perspective on life and her grandfather it all just makes me wanna tear at the walls and scream and cry. genuinely the first time i played through chapter 3, mingus’ monologue at the end brought tears to my eyes bc i resonated with her longing on such a level it like. it really put her into perspective for me. and since then i’ve just become more and more fond of her like ohhhhhhhhhhh i love her guys. i really do. mingus kingus forevar and evar

[theoldworldsrunnerup]

hello this is out of the blue but do you have any soichello thoughts/takes/headcanons right now. just anything is cool, can be a totally random thought or anything

OH BOY DO I

I’m absolutely awful at putting my thoughts into words and tbh 90% of my thoughts about them in particular are hard to express (also it is ridiculously late at night for me rn) but I’ll try my best. I hope all of these make sense (both in the sense that everything written here is comprehensible and also vaguely makes sense for their characters)

Okay so um. Starting with general stuff

-I enjoy the kind of like,, duality?? of the pairing because on one hand it’s objectively ridiculous and it’s fun to lean into that. On the OTHER hand it’s also fun to take it seriously because you’re then presented with the challenge of making it seem plausible. My personal favourite part of shipping is not so much focusing on canon interactions (although I definitely enjoy that too) but thinking about the potential. What would make these two characters attracted to each other? How would they both feel about that? What would they do about their feelings? And with soichello I feel like it gives me a lot to think about

-(That being said, I DO enjoy their dynamic in canon. The mafia arc is pretty much my favourite part of the series and I love them both as individual characters and in general I just find their interactions interesting. But that’s not the point rn so whatever)

-I definitely think that Mello would have to initiate both the relationship itself and a lot within the relationship because like. Soichiro is MORTIFIED at the concept of being attracted to a man with basically no regard for the law and who is younger than both of his children, and he would certainly not make any attempt to act on it (which IS the sensible choice, but where’s the fun in that??). I also imagine he’d be quite baffled and concerned about it being reciprocated lmao. But in contrast, Mello’s the kind of person to do pretty much whatever to get what he wants, and if he wants to fuck that old man then by god he is fucking that old man no matter what

-Though I can also see Mello being too stubborn and embarrassed about it to do anything so they both just don’t act on it but unresolved tension drives me a little insane so that’s a sometimes thought. I guess it really just depends on how you want Mello to feel about it??

-It’s honestly pretty weird for both of them because they both have lived very different lives and have very different expectations and ideas of what a relationship looks like. Mello feels like he has to have, like, constant control of the relationship (as in he kind of attempts to present it as like. “you are the one who wants this and I am indulging you for my own pleasure/amusement” when that’s not actually really the case) (this is both because he’s not the best with vulnerability but also because he grew up in a particularly competitive environment and has this idea kind of engraved into him that if he is not “above” someone than he is beneath them and therefore inferior. Or something like that idk), which is just... not how relationships work. And I imagine their relationship is built largely on sexual attraction more than anything, and Soichiro just isn’t used to that.

-Despite Mello trying his hardest to seem somewhat nonchalant about the relationship (which kind of fails because he’s very obviously emotionally invested enough to put in the amount of effort he does), he is fond of Soichiro. He was rather thrilled upon discovering that his feelings were mutual, and on the occasion Soichiro initiates literally anything he’s pretty pleased about it.

-Moving onto slightly more specific headcanons, Mello loves biting. I mean he enjoys pretty much anything involving his own mouth but I think he likes biting the most, both for his partner’s reaction and also just because. Nom. Soichiro was initially VERY conflicted about this but decided it was fine as long as he didn’t leave any marks in any obvious places or bite down too hard.

-I feel obligated to include something relating to the cute grey hair line from htr because that’s the one singular crumb of the barely canonical basis this pairing has so,, Mello likes playing with Soichiro’s hair. He’s just sort of weirdly fascinated by it lol

God okay I just looked at the time and I NEED to go to sleep so I think I’ll leave it there for now. Thank you so much for letting me get a small portion of my thoughts down, and again, I hope this makes sense to you. If you ever want my thoughts on anything more specific (or if you ever want to share any of your own thoughts about them!!!) my asks are always open.

[doyouremem8erme]

ask game time! 💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

somebody told me that terezi was a bad character on instagram so im gonna write an essay on why shes my fave character

first off her sheer chaotic energy is fucking iconic. the complaint on instagram wasnt about that because it cant be denied but shes just fucking insane and i love her for it. i think shed bite off my fingers and then insult the taste of my skin. shes just so crazy and weird and murderous and nerdy and i love her for it. we all know this. but theres a lot of her character that is so overlooked.

heres an essay on why metatextually and narratively, terezi is one of (if not THE) most important characters in homestuck and how that connects to her relationship with vriska.

vriska and terezi are described by hussie like this:

This is the most important character relationship resulting from all the sound and fury of Hivebent's chaotic dispensation... It's the arguable axis around which the whole epic revolves, when you really study all the ramifications from the fallout resulting from their rivalry, ensuing revenge cycle, and mutually floundering struggle for redemption, in the warped way each of them defines that idea.

so i mean even HUSSIE acknowledges that theyre important. and of course we all know vriska is obsessed with trying to be at the center of the narrative and you could say she pulls terezi into that but thats NOT what happens between them.

so terezi meets vriska at some undetermined young age and they flarp together and become close very quickly as seen in terezis memories in remem8er. and when all the drama in hivebent goes down you really see that they arent just stable in their quadrants but that their codependency plays into this vacillation in a really twisted way.

Another snapshot of the tortured Scourge Sisters dynamic, in a long tale of angst and ambivalence concerning justice and morality. Terezi wrestles with this eternally. She wants to bring Vriska to justice. But she doesn't. She does, doesn't, does, doesn't. Vriska thrashes back and forth in a different way. I'm sorry, see how sorry I am? Isn't being sorry ENOUGH? What more do you want? I'm sorry, not sorry, sorry, not sorry. And being not sorry takes the form of lashing out, incrimination, daring Terezi into action, calling her bluff, etc. So her vacillation is more like, I'm sorry, fuck you, I'm sorry, you don't have the guts, I'm sorry, just kill me already! The dangerous dance goes on and on.

so yes. vrisrezi good. vrisrezi complex. but what makes this even more tragic is how they act as the ultimate doomed yuri. before remem8er, terezi talks about a lot of heavy feelings she hasnt really let on before.

GC: 1 N3V3R F3LT WHOL3 GC: 1 ST1LL DON'T GC: 4ND YOU M4D3 1T SO 1 D1DN'T H4V3 TO F4C3 TH4T F33L1NG GC: FOR 4 WH1L3 4T L34ST GC: 4ND NOW TH4T 1 TH1NK 1 KNOW TH1S 4BOUT MYS3LF GC: 1 TH1NK 1 G3T 1T GC: TH3 F33L1NG W1LL PROB4BLY N3V3R GO 4W4Y GC: ONLY COV3R3D UP 4T MOST, M4YB3 GC: W3 COULD W1N TH1S F1GHT GC: CR34T3 4NOTH3R UN1V3RS3 GC: SUCC33D 1N 3V3RY W4Y POSS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1'LL ST1LL F33L 1NCOMPL3T3 GC: V1CTORY WON'T F1X M3 GC: M4YB3 NOTH1NG C4N GC: M4YB3 TH3R3'S TOO L1TTL3 SUBST4NC3 1NS1D3 M3 TO 3V3N B3 F1X3D

she talks about her sense of incompleteness in a way that reminds me of the way you see space players experience loneliness--which is cool given that mind as an aspect has some parallels to both space and time. and she talks about how shes never been complete on her own. going back to the instagram post i saw that said she doesnt feel rounded enough on her own--thats the point. so much of her character is defined by vriska that its a part of her own identity and a tragic part of her actual experiences. theres another hussie quote which is about vriska but still applicable--

For instance, you could write dozens of paragraphs of meta on Vriska alone. But the moment you stop writing about Vriska in a vacuum, and start writing about Vriska x Terezi, the avenues of analysis seem endless. It's a circuitous, psychologically tortured mutual arc of competitive codependency, which on closer inspection serves as the axis around which virtually the entire plot revolves.

her codependency with vriska is one of the most central components of the entire narrative. without terezi's internal torment over vriska there would be no homestuck as we know it. [s] flip and the aftermath of game over (F1X TH1S) are among the most important moments in the entire story and both are defined by vriska and terezi's dynamic.

GC: BUT 4T L34ST 1 TH1NK 1 UND3RST4ND TH4T NOW GC: 4ND SHOULD B3 4BL3 F1GHT W1THOUT H4V1NG SOM3TH1NG GN4W 4T M3 GC: SOM3TH1NG TH4T F3LT UNKNOW4BL3, 4ND M4D3 M3 CONST4NTLY WOND3R WH4T 1 W4S DO1NG WRONG GC: 1'M OK W1TH L1V1NG L1K3 TH4T GC: NOT GO1NG TO PR3T3ND 1T WOULDN'T B3 N1C3 TO... GC: P4TCH MYS3LF UP, SOM3HOW? GC: GU3SS TH4T SH1P S41L3D, THOUGH GC: B4CK 1N OUR S3SS1ON, 1N WH4T3V3R W4Y 1 BOTCH3D MY QU3ST GC: OR D1DN'T R34CH GOD T13R, OR... GC: 1 DON'T 3V3N KNOW WH4T 1T W4S 1 D1D OR D1DN'T DO GC: 1 GU3SS TH4T'S TH3 PROBL3M, 1SN'T 1T? GC: TH3 MYST3RY OF 1T GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R GC: OR TH3 H3RO1C TH1NGS 1 SUPPOS3DLY D1D GC: S4CR1F1C3S 1 M4D3 GC: TO S4V3 YOU GC: TO S4V3 3V3RYBODY GC: WH1CH T3LL M3 NOTH1NG 4BOUT MYS3LF, 4ND WH4T 1'M R34LLY C4P4BL3 OF GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R!

im including this stuff without much commentary because it just acts as illustration of how much more depth to terezi than just crazy murdery lawyer dragon girl. yes, shes tormented over vriska and how she lost her in another timeline and all the choices shes made in different worlds but its also about her. her dependency on vriska is a symptom of this deep deep loneliness she holds inside her. theres something to be said about her lack of a lusus and specficially the fact that her lusus's egg was held on a scale weighing it against sburb-associated machinery

the prevention of her loneliness is always doomed. she has no lusus--but in order to have one, the world would have to end. she has vriska--but she loses her in every single timeline without fail. she flirts with the humans--but kills john in one timeline and dooms a dave in another. she cannot pursue intimacy or friendship or any form of relationship without losing both her loved ones along with everything else. its not just that she doesnt have a lusus--its that her lusus hatching will end the world. its not just that she loses vriska--its that in no timeline we see do they get a happy ending, and the closest they get in being erased from reality in each others arms.

GC: M4YB3 1T'S D3LUS1ON4L OF M3 GC: TO 1M4G1N3 TH4T JUST H4V1NG 4NOTH3R S3T OF M3MOR13S 1S GO1NG TO M4K3 M3 F33L MOR3 COMPL3T3 GC: 1 C4N'T STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 1T THOUGH GC: 1 GU3SS 1T'S 4LW4YS T3MPT1NG TO TH1NK TH3R3 1S ON3 H1DD3N 4NSW3R TO 3V3RYTH1NG GC: NO M4TT3R HOW F4NT4ST1C4L OR 1N4CC3SS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1F ONLY YOU COULD F1ND 1T, YOU'D F1N4LLY H4V3 TH3 P3RF3CT R3SOLUT1ON TO 3V3RYTH1NG 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU C4N'T ST4ND GC: SO 1 JUST K33P WOND3R1NG TO MYS3LF GC: TH4T M4YB3 1F ONLY 1 COULD JUST R3M3MB3R GC: 1 WOULDN'T H4V3 TO F33L L1K3 TH1S

she is tormented by so much more than just vriska. and i talk about this through so much angsty and dramatic words but its really true that shes so tragic. and tragedy isnt the only reason to love her because shes also so silly and crazy and weird and offputting etc but the instagram post that pissed me off so badly said that she became uninteresting after the earlier-comic characterizations of her with her bloodthirsty lawyer/executioner persona.

GC: UH... WOW GC: 1 W4SN'T R34LLY 3XP3CT1NG TO T3LL YOU 4LL TH4T GC: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO C4TCH YOU B3FOR3 YOU GO OFF TO B4TTL3, 4ND W1SH YOU "LUCK" >:] GC: 4ND TO L3T YOU KNOW HOW 1MPORT4NT YOU'V3 B33N TO M3, 1N 4 W4Y TH4T W4SN'T L1K3 GC: CLOUD3D BY OUR USU4L TR4SH T4LK 4ND M1ND G4M3S GC: 1 GU3SS TH1S 1S WH4T YOU G3T FOR 1GNOR1NG M3 FOR TWO S3CONDS GC: 4 L1TTL3 TOO MUCH R34L1TY FROM 4N 1D1OT WHO'S MOR3 M3SS3D UP 1NS1D3 TH4N SH3 3V3R L3TS ON

she says it here. yes she is weird and silly but beyond the parts of it that are engrained into her personality it seems to be (at least in part) an act to cover up how messed up she feels inside. she is so full of shenanigans and whatnot and doesnt display her issues the way a lot of characters do (even the prospit kids who are so known for repressing their emotions show more signs of distress that terezi does, to the point that hussie made sure to note that her distress was genuine when her lusus died!)

More great and very imaginative sound effects. "GENUINE" seems like maybe it's an unnecessary qualifier, until you consider that Terezi is so full of shit, many things she does could be considered ungenuine. So it pays to point out when she is sad for real, like when her newborn baby mom dies.

vriska, downright infamous for being surrounded in discourse around the context of her actions, is even more obvious than terezi. she too plays up an act of her unfazed coolness about all the stuff she does but shes less extreme about it in such a way that its more obvious when she slips a bit in that facade. when terezi is distressed she usually doesnt show it at all because her layers of weird silliness are too thick. shes just a lot better at the whole violent killing stuff than vriska is! you can see this in vriskas breakdown in vrisky business:

vriska has a total breakdown over realizing shell need to learn to hunt after losing her arm and she says this:

bascially saying that that prime difference between them is that vriska, yes, has learned to be ruthless and violent and manipulative (and was never a good person in the first place but it was her lusus that shaped her into being like this) while terezi never had that stress. she could do whatever she wanted and be as wild as she wished which is why she grew into the crazy troll girl who is the most important character in homestuck. with why i love her out of the way its some analysis timeeeeee.

i already mentioned how important flip and f1x th1s are but i wanna dive into that.

terezi exhibits an understanding of sburb's timelines better than anyone else, even time players, letting her do things like lead dave to her own doomed self on his quest bed, and it becomes clear that this is the nature of her mind powers, combined with a seer's intuition. she has many traits that involve seeing through different barriers, if that makes sense--she can navigate the world by forming a mental image of her surroundings by smell and taste after going blind, and she sees through the layers of sburb's bizarreness just as easily.

[s] flip is one of the first places this ability is used in a way this vital to the progression of the main plot--she uses her powers to stop vriska from dooming them all.

Any divergence from this path to my knowing will taper into blackness like rotting roots. But if I was a Seer, such offshoots would be fully within my domain... A Seer would support her allies in battle not with her weapons, but her vision. She would sift through dross of her comrades' poor tactical inclinations and examine the grim consequences. A Seer would not charge into the fray headlong but direct it as a conductor with a baton. She would have the sight to eschew the obvious gambits, and find the path to victory disguised cleverly as setback, or even imminent defeat. She would behold the fortunes of friends and foes in totality, and appraise the contrivance of luck itself...A true Seer would know where luck is a given, where it is absent, and most importantly, where it doesn't matter at all. And she would know victory doesn't matter in a reality where all else is doomed to fail.

being from doc scratch this is ofc not 100% reliable information but its still some good meta. the last couple lines really emphasize her narrative place--as a seer, she is aware of the big picture, and as a seer of mind, she is more specifically aware of the branching timelines formed in sburb. she is a mastermind behind the plot but lacks the tools to truly direct it. (and i will also go ahead and point out the line about acting as a conductor since thats a very important symbol in homestuck representing movements of the story much like an orchestral symphony.

the actual conductors we see are the cherubs, calliope in particular. calliope and caliborn are characters with actual narrative power (caliborn takes over the whole story!) so its pretty impressive to be compared to that.

but it turns out terezi does in fact have a place in the story almost at this level of power.

it's revealed that the initial version of the events following the coinflip were in terezi's vision:

and that she turned around on that initial path to prevent it from happening. on its own, this isnt that significant. but this moment is the moment that the retcons revolve around, with an entire axis of the plot centered around this single moment between vriska and terezi woven together with terezi's visions and powers.

john may be the one to carry out the actual retcons, but terezi is both the one who ordered him to do so and the orchestrator of the entire narrative rewrite. this is the moment when she raises the conductors baton. this is why i refer to terezi rewriting the universe, not john.

all john did was use his powers to carry out the list of instructions that terezi used her powers to develop. most of them are of arguable vitality but the one that truly changes everything is the rewriting of vriska's death. by doing this, terezi is the reason why homestuck does not end in the disaster of game over. were it not for terezi, homestuck would have a far more tragic ending that the bittersweet conclusion we're actually left with. there are many characters who display a level of narrative control--vriska pulling the spotlight towards herself and being somewhat aware that a narrative like homestuck exists; the very existence of john's powers; doc scratch's role as a stand-in narrator on a level comparable to hussie's avatar; caliborn's narrative takeover in act 6 and ascension to lord english; calliope's role as a storyteller of the existing narrative--the list goes on. but terezi's actions are perhaps the most significant, even if her level of control is nowhere close, rewriting the story of homestuck entirely. she does get the password pages in there, which i'll definitely count as a sort of metanarrative presence in the presentation of the comic (like caliborn and doc scratch's site rethemes). yes, john does the necessary actions to achieve this end, but would not have been able to do so without the anchor points of terezi's direction of the plot.

and once again, this is inseparable from her relationship with vriska. yes, she does this to give another timeline a chance at victory, and to carry on her story in another life as she dies in the pre-retcon timelines, but it's also for vriska. killing vriska broke terezi as much as it broke the narrative and so rewriting canon for vriska gives that other version of herself a second chance. there is not point in leaving vriska out of this because the relationship between the two and the push and pull of their tumultuous dynamic is what is at the heart of the narrative--not one or the other.

and even with such a significant role, she is still bound to her fate outside of the changes john can make. im gonna bring back some dialogue from earlier--

GC: BUT 4T L34ST 1 TH1NK 1 UND3RST4ND TH4T NOW GC: 4ND SHOULD B3 4BL3 F1GHT W1THOUT H4V1NG SOM3TH1NG GN4W 4T M3 GC: SOM3TH1NG TH4T F3LT UNKNOW4BL3, 4ND M4D3 M3 CONST4NTLY WOND3R WH4T 1 W4S DO1NG WRONG GC: 1'M OK W1TH L1V1NG L1K3 TH4T GC: NOT GO1NG TO PR3T3ND 1T WOULDN'T B3 N1C3 TO... GC: P4TCH MYS3LF UP, SOM3HOW? GC: GU3SS TH4T SH1P S41L3D, THOUGH GC: B4CK 1N OUR S3SS1ON, 1N WH4T3V3R W4Y 1 BOTCH3D MY QU3ST GC: OR D1DN'T R34CH GOD T13R, OR... GC: 1 DON'T 3V3N KNOW WH4T 1T W4S 1 D1D OR D1DN'T DO GC: 1 GU3SS TH4T'S TH3 PROBL3M, 1SN'T 1T? GC: TH3 MYST3RY OF 1T GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R GC: OR TH3 H3RO1C TH1NGS 1 SUPPOS3DLY D1D GC: S4CR1F1C3S 1 M4D3 GC: TO S4V3 YOU GC: TO S4V3 3V3RYBODY GC: WH1CH T3LL M3 NOTH1NG 4BOUT MYS3LF, 4ND WH4T 1'M R34LLY C4P4BL3 OF GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R!

she does not have the godlike narrative position that the cherubs achieve. shes not even a godtier! and thats another part of what makes her so tragic. she knows enough about sburb to navigate it and play it to her advantage but not enough to gain the self fulfillment she wants.

GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R

highlighting this part, her seer abilities are both her greatest power over the narrative and one of her most tragic parts.

she has access to infinite timelines and choices and can tell how things will turn out but she cant simply unlock those realities and memories beyond her experiences. having the access to the memories of a better life also isnt necessarily a plus.

GC: M4YB3 1T'S D3LUS1ON4L OF M3 GC: TO 1M4G1N3 TH4T JUST H4V1NG 4NOTH3R S3T OF M3MOR13S 1S GO1NG TO M4K3 M3 F33L MOR3 COMPL3T3 GC: 1 C4N'T STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 1T THOUGH GC: 1 GU3SS 1T'S 4LW4YS T3MPT1NG TO TH1NK TH3R3 1S ON3 H1DD3N 4NSW3R TO 3V3RYTH1NG GC: NO M4TT3R HOW F4NT4ST1C4L OR 1N4CC3SS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1F ONLY YOU COULD F1ND 1T, YOU'D F1N4LLY H4V3 TH3 P3RF3CT R3SOLUT1ON TO 3V3RYTH1NG 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU C4N'T ST4ND GC: SO 1 JUST K33P WOND3R1NG TO MYS3LF GC: TH4T M4YB3 1F ONLY 1 COULD JUST R3M3MB3R GC: 1 WOULDN'T H4V3 TO F33L L1K3 TH1S

the access to this knowledge seems to be a part of why she is so internally desperate for answers. the solution is right there seemingly but just out of reach. and in this desperate moment of trying to unlock those answers?

she remem8ers. (and i know the title of the flash is a reference to the song used in it but i will also point out just how vrisrezi it is to have her desperate attempts to recall her other self's memories be written in vriska's typing quirk)

at the end of this flash, terezi and vriska are about to be literally wiped from reality forever. and yet, they face that end smiling in each others arms. they are no longer relevant. there is no narrative significance to this moment. but its still what terezi needed to see in order to fulfill that part of herself.

um. i spent all day writing this in my free time. enjoy.

terezi save me. save me. terezi. terezi. terezi save me

[frigigly]

I do indeed want to eat glass anytime someone criticises the latter parts of Steven Universe without the context that it was rushed as hell by the network literally because of homophobic reasons.

Also the show is just good actually. Any arguments I've heard so far about the moral aspects of the show being weird seem just wrong to me lol.

I think the show does a very good job of separating characters' actions from the characters themselves? Like pearl tricking garnet to fuse with her was deeply fucked up and will never be ok, garnet makes a point to tell her she doesn't forgive her for it. And rightly so. But also the response to that isn't just pearl should die or something, its that she just moves on and learns to improve herself because that makes her happier and her friends happier, and this is applied to almost every other character too.

Like rose has done a lot of fucked up things, but she's not just supposed to be a villain 'worse than the diamonds' (insane that some people think that). She's the story of someone trying to remove themself from abusive familial dynamics and trying to improve themself despite that history. It makes sense that she takes on more of a negative/ sinister hue, considering the series takes place from Steven's perspective, and out of anybody, he's definitely allowed to hate her a little bit lol. But his own valid biases and feelings don't have to undo all the good that is inside her.

See also Bismuth, see also Spinel, see also Lapis, etc etc.

So when the diamonds do fucked up things, like corrupt gems, like indefinitely bubble the real roses, like maintain a fascist conquering regime, and then aren't killed as some kind of 'punishment', it doesn't bother me because I know this show, and I know it hasn't forgotten everything it's said up to this point. Just because they aren't actively being killed by Steven doesn't have to mean they're '''''redeemed'''''. They really were just not an active threat anymore.

It's ok to hate them! In fact I'm fairly sure the show expects you to. Even the fact that they were undoing the damage they had done in future doesn't just magically absolve them of how fucked up what they did was.

Like I really love the episode homeworld bound cause it's this almost mocking display to steven how everything is fine now, (throwing him right back into the princess gauntlet!) and the diamonds are sooooo perfect and cool now, and they have absolutely no problems, even though steven is in one of his lowest mental states to date. And the whole time steven is like "What the hell! You can't just magically make me feel better after everything you've done to me!" and they literally say to him "Lol yeah we can :D whats wrong lol why are you so mad, if you dont think you deserve to be happy thats your problem lol!" Like it's really giving pretentious ass self help yoga instructors, ESPECIALLY white like christ. Their egos are all still definitely there, they're just trying to make up for what they've done, because it should absolutely be on them to do so. It does not absolve them of their crimes and the show doesn't want you to think it does! And of course they can't help steven because they aren't fully respecting how much they've hurt him by that point, and all they do is send him further into his meltdown.

I really think you'd have to be blind to not see that even if Steven isn't fighting them anymore, he HATES the diamonds, and doesn't want anything to do with them now that he doesn't have to stop them from ruining his life. He literally does try to kill white but somehow people will still try to argue that he ''''''''forgave them too easily''''''''. I'm sorry but that argument really doesn't make any sense.

I know this show covers some very heavy topics, so it is going to be divisive. The horrors of how deeply your own family can hurt you is a reality many people are unfortunately very intimate with, so I do understand if people just don't like what the show tried to do, or if it just makes people uncomfortable, that's completely fair. I really do think though that the show is trying to stick up for people like that who have been hurt, and how you still deserve a chance to grow past it, it's surely not trying to dismiss or lessen anyone's trauma associated with their own past.

I'm sure in a better world we would have gotten a longer diamond days arc that didn't feel so rushed. Personally I think even future could have used another season, and the parts of season 5 exploring the fallout of the rose/ pink diamond reveal could have used some more episodes too. Unfortunately CN was very unfair to Rebecca and the crewniverse throughout the entirety of SUs airing.

Anyway I don't even know if I coherently made the point I was trying to, but tl;dr Steven universe is good actually, it should be looked at as a historic show for lgbt media and television, and it could have been even better if it wasn't being brought down every step of the way by a homophobic system, please support queer artists, love u bye