#their dynamic is intersting
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he's always flirting with his assistant, who's not having any of that
#rich kid wants to be held in his assistants strong armes so bad it makes him look stupid#their dynamic is intersting#lol#see your love#ep1#jonathan & zixiang
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Ppl are really missing an opportunity with the possibility of making Harry and Jean a toxic divorced couple.
Like Harry completely forgetting Jean and not even taking damage at reminders of him the same way it happens with Dora because their marriage was so awful there’s not even scraps of it left in his mind.
Harry thinking Jean is extra pissy because they must have been close work buddies, meanwhile Jean is mad Harry doesn’t remember they were literally married but also staunchly refuses to help him remember.
Kim making a joke about how he could see why Harry wanted to forget his marriage.
Harry realizing he still has the ring at some point and either thinking its from Dora or not caring where its from and trying to give it to Kim. Both make Jean seethe.
The possibilities are endless.
#i do not ship them#i just think their dynamic as the worst couple is intersting#and them being divorced adds a layer of comedy#ofc this would ruin a lot of the interesting parts of their canon relationship#but this is just for laughs#if you make content about this idea ill kiss you with tongue#disco elysium#harry du bois#harrier du bois#jean vicquemare#jeanharry
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the thing i most love about myself is that ever since a kid I’ve been offered to sit with the cool kids but always choose to sit with the outcasts because I disagree with creating power difference. like I’ve been reflecting a lot on this recently. some people use social dynamics to build self worth, thinking anyone different/odd is “cramping their style” when I find the weirdos way more interesting and genuine (being themselves). like I remember a few of my female outcast (not by choice) besties tryna be friends with the cool kids at school who were just laughing at them and me thinking/saying “are they gonna look after you when you’re drunk passed out on the floor or are they gonna turn a blind eye to men coming in to take advantage?” like fr I’ve always been offered the cool chair but hate the whole idea of being cool—you cannot trust a group bonded by wanting to be cool—and choose to back the weirdos and then the cool kids hate me and I’m back where I belong :)
#if I was to psychoanalyse myself it’s bc my parents care sk much about being cool that it stifled me#and moving interstate at 7 meant I had to face being an outsider before even knowing I was a lesbian#and everything I did that was weird was cringe to my parents#so I simply reclaim being weird even if ppl assume I’m cool when they meet me sometimes#I think my parents taught me how to be cool so I have to remind people no I’m the weirdo like the ones you bully so#and then they hate me bc I’m not playing into the cool/weird dynamic for power
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:)
#almost done with jorgen playthrough#bro these two characters#the friend dynamic the love interst the support#rune and mikkos playthroughs dont hit the same#dawn chorus#furry art
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After Mor’s exit and Azriel’s much more grateful departure, the jock remained, slouched with crossed arms. Cass was, despite appearances, not a simple man. Theirs was a friendship made of edges and glass- delicate and hard to hold.
Cassian called him ‘Prince’ sometimes. Had done, since they were kids. Always half-joking and always full in earnest, his friend’s resentment stayed written in the hard-wiring of his jaw even as a crooked grin shone through.
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so now i got the main story of the last drawing i wanna talk about why i came with the idea of lithium spiderman and some of the quirks of it story and characters,
so yeah a fuck ton of explinations up ahead
Why i made it in the first place: outside of general fun of just making a spider man au (aus are always fun to imagine), it was because a comic i belive where spiderman and peter separater those type of stories always leave the idea of peter and spiderman as a thing that needs to coexist but it did keep me wonder we see a lot of peter not be able to cope with not having super powers, and the weight of the responsabilitie of not being a super hero has on him... but i feel there isnt a story where peter isnt... well peter dont get me wrong peter has to manage his spiderman life with his normal life (that is kinda the appeal of spiderman stories) but we rarely see why spiderman needs to be peter, why a version of peter that is just spiderman wouldnt be better without making spiderman over ego centric or out of character (in my opinion that is) of course the human element is always leave as garanted but i found intriguing the idea of a peter parker who only has his super hero style and has to learn to become peter parker, insted of the other way around
the story perse: story whise i imagine it would center around peter trying to get to norman osborn and destroy his military operations but in a more depper level it woud talk about how spiderman life style by itself is destructive over peters heath and mind untill he would have to relise (thanks to the help of black cat and other characters) the need of a normal life outside of being a super hero, learning the basics of how it is to have something outside of his "work" and learning to apreaciate the world better with his new friends (and a new identety)
little quirks: most of the villains of spiderman would have a more direct correlation with him being either old coworkers, long time enemies (before he turn on osborn) or people he has wrong in his past gwen is doctor optopus and had a crush on peter, she has conflicted feeling after his betrayal and becomes sortha of a rival for peter later on gwen also becomes venom trying to discover the spider syrium green goblin are osborn robots that he uses to hunt down peter, while he uses what he calls the orange goblin suit osborn has an ai assitant (similar to jarvis from ironman) who is secretly tying to over take him and is the principal responsible for controling the green goblin robots most villains and heroes have more tech base desing (tho not quite far future tech but futuristicish) black cat is mary jane and will be responsible to help peter adjust to his civilian life she is also a rockstar, that uses the info she gets from people in her circle to make her robberies j. jonah jameson was taken off his comapany after taking too much of a stand againts osborn, he was promtly remove and supposely assasinate but now as an annoyimous podcaster and blogger, he goes around berrating and getting information on osborn he is also the soul suporter of spiderman of this au, being a beliver in someone who attones for his wrongs to make a better future
#txtalk#yeahhhhhh might have gone a bit overboard with the explination#i really like the idea tho#it isnt THAT original but i love the idea of the reverse super hero learning#someone who is very good at being a super hero having to learn to live as a civilian and create a more heathy live style#is this superman mix with batman? maybe but i still think is neat idea#plus the idea of black cat mary jane is very appealing to me#specialy cause i feel it would make for an interstic dynamic with spiderman
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Honestly New Girl was fun until they were all in relationships
#maybe i really am heterophobic#lmao#no okay seriously they just have weird ass relationship dynamics i neiher like nor can relate to nor find intersting
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finlays will see a terrible abusive dynamic in ninjago and be like 'is anyone gonna think abt that daily' and not wait for an answer
#and i try to show emotion but my eyes wont seem to wet. and id love to tell u stories but i cant remember how they went#llorumiiiiiiiiiii [doing cat puke retches on the floor] THEY MAKE ME SICK.#i feel i do have to day this every time i dont actually supportttt the ships or whatever. they r just so intersting to me#ninjago has really fucking boring canon relationships cus they dont ever address any of the Weirdness#jaya cld be sooooooo juicy. but alas its sooooo nothing#llorumi etc r not good not healthy BUT they r juicy. there are many different angles to attack it from and they r actually. IN the show#and not just my head#personally heartttt the interpretation of harumi being too likeeee. idk . trapped. to ever change or challenge her beliefs#idk im crazy tired rn but oooiiaaahhh#vexane is also very juicy to me as a genuinely loveless relationship but instead one built on like. purelyyyyy zane feeling he cant trust#anyone else.#vex is very good at manipulating situations and zane is in the ultimate situation.#it puts him completely at vexs mercy and he stays under his paw for. 40 years. god. ok#i think thats the timeline right. Okay. man#its easy to see how zane cld end up where he does in s11#btw both of those r not even necessarily a romantic reading but gragghhhhh so intersting#ninjago has some crazyyyyyy deep relationships if u can dig and strike gold#btw the best dynamic in the entire show is garmabros (NOT ROMANTIC OBVS.) it sweeepssss the entire cast easy
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the term comship really annoys me, bc on the one hand i get it, a lot of pro shippers use it for really gross pairings, which makes it kind of an awful label by association
but at the same time,,all it means is complicated ship, which like??? since when was that a problem lol? when did it become a problem to enjoy a fictional relationship between two adults that might be a little complicated? idk if im weird or not but it just confuses me when i see people put complicated ships in the same category bc like,,,no??? those aren't remotely the same thing??
#besides not every fictional relationship is gonna be snuggles and kisses all the time#sometimes theyre gonna argue and stuff lol#like i dont think its ok to mistreat ur spouse i just find the character dynamics intersting#what happened to critically consuming ur media?
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Personally I'm imagining Damian still being semi-involved with hero work even after his peaceful retirement. But the first Robin (in spirit and in this AU) takes a more supportive role in a way similar to Barbara as Oracle.
Instead of being tech-based like Barb though, the son of Al Ghul uses his League and Bat training to dig up dirt and find information on his target of interest.
Potentially he even dips into some connections through the League of Assassins as he probably amassed a few contacts loyal to him from within the League.
Alternatively It's a bunch of Ex-League members that Damian choses to help rehabilitate like Bruce helped him years back while putting their skills to good use.
I'm also just imagining he trained animals similar to Ace the Bat-Hound to do spy work as an unassuming animal, letting Dami listen in through the wire on their collars.
Those are my ideas for Damian in this AU anyway, him taking a backseat support role while still working on his art.
Saw some ppl talking about Reverse Robins and i had thoughts
Talking abt u guys @eldritchdreamss @brucewaynehater101
Why kill Tim when you could kill baby Jason? What I want is for all of them to keep their own backstories and personalities (Developed in line with the story of course) So ofc i had to write a 1,000 word brainrot abt it.
(Also i'll only be going over the main 4 batbros for now i will add more later but these guys are the ones im most passionate about so here we go)
Damian
Let Damian come in, desperate to be of use and be worthy of his father, only for a softer, less jaded bruce (since jason hasnt died yet) to help him open up his heart and let him act as a kid. With no competition for so long, I imagine he and Bruce get along very well while he works with him. Yeah, they need to work on the no killing deal and Damian's... i guess impulse control? But i think it would be easier with very intensely focused reparenting; no distractions of other kids you know? No favoring or anything.
I see Damian growing up as a stoic, jaded adult. He's had a rough life. Maybe he sticks with the vigilante business. but I really love headcanons where he gets out of it, and focuses on something calmer, like his art. (I do appreciate and love the veterinarian Damian AUs, but im going for FULL calmness, you know? And doctor/vet work is Not calm lol)
So yeah, maybe he grows a real passion for heroism, maybe he doesn't? Maybe he goes on to be an artist and that's just what he does. Bro is ready to settle down as a scarred, veteran trophy husband and i adore him for that.
(Sorry lol i just love Damian and i love the idea of him growing out of both of his parent's legacies. Let him live his own life!!! He fights so so hard for at least 15 years. ALL 15 years of his life. He deserves to have some peace.)
Tim
Tim i think would need a much different story to join the Batfam. He still starts out as a stalker who follows batman and. . . . . . . Redimar (meaning Redemption iykyk (I just spend 17min researching names rip)) at night, takes photos, etc... Since Damian doesn't die, maybe he finds Tim? and like, tim is like 11 and Damian is 17 or 18. He's started going out as Redimar less and less, not that B really minds? In fact hes probably happy for his son so...
But then Damian finds Tim, and now he has to keep going out because he can't let this kid get himself killed like this. He would hold himself accountable since hes the only reason Tim keeps going out so much- also i imagine Tim follows Redimar more than Batman.
Cue a classic Tim Joining The Batfam plotline. They get to know each other better, get a grasp on Tim's situation, Damian finally introduces Tim to Bruce... (Probably something like Dami: "Father, this is my new brother. Timothy, say hello to Father," Tim: "Hello, Father," Dami: "Perfect." Bruce: "*falls off the batchair*)
Anyway, so, Tim ends up kinda just merging with the Waynes. They start training him, its all good and nice, and Tim makes his own little hero team unlike Damian, which is actually pretty interesting here; its Tim who made the first young hero team. Damian only ever had Jon (Superboy 1 in this!!) and he finds Young Just Us and becomes a great leader and its all fine and dandy.
Tim and Damian get along well. Damian is the sage older brother whos kinda distant, but only because he has such high emotional walls (but secretly a softy). He is very much like Bruce- nope, nevermind, hes definitely worse than Bruce in this AU, since Bruce is depicted as being much more agreeable before Jason's death, you know? So yeah, Damian is the emotionally constipated bitch in the fam and we love him for that. But hey!! Tim does manage to get through his walls! And Bruce does sometimes too!! (Tho i imagine Bruce and Damian's relationship to be very.. idk let me try to expalain. Dami: "Father." Bruce: "Son :)" Dami: "Tt." Bruce: *nods* "Hrn." Dami: "Hmph." Bruce: "Hm.") DO U PICK UP WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN--- lmfao. They hardly need words.
Tim ends up growing up very very capable. Once his parents die, he gets a little jaded, but hes still Tim. He and Damian become kind of an... ice prince duo? If you get what I mean. But Tim is the one whos actually the ice prince, Damian is secretly a HUGE softie. He is Delicate and Tim protects him lmfao.
Jason
Jason comes along like he does in canon. Has the same backstory. Tries to steal the Batmobile's wheels. Tim is sleeping over at Damian's flat for the night, so its just Bruce. They bond. Shit happens. Jason joins the fam.
I don't imagine them not getting along, but they don't immediately hit it off either. Jason is wary of all of them for a time, but he ends up warming up to Damian pretty fast after realizing what a softie he is. He pokes fun at Damian and Damian just freaking takes it lmao. Hes an adult he cannot be disturbed. Bro has seen too much and he finds Jason adorable. (Dami: "You were never this cute, Timothy." <- he is lying. Tim: *offended* "What the fu- flip!?" Jason: "Lmao Tim just say fuck." Dami: *deadpan stare* Tim: "JASON NO DONT SAY THE FUCK WORD-") ahem.
anywho and then Jason dies rip skill issue ratio.
The whole batfam is heartbroken. Genuinely shattered. Jason was a light in their lives. Not that they were WITHOUT any light, but Jason was the epitome of a sunshine child.
It's been too long since Damian has killed someone. Bro's god oodles and oodles of trauma. He can't bring himself to kill the Joker.
but Tim can.
It's a whole dramatic thing; Damian feels awful that he made his- now only- little brother kill. Bruce is hella upset but feels responsible for not seeing how badly both of his kids were handling the death of their brother. Tim goes a little off the deep end.
Things turn out.... okay. sort of. but not really. Tim changes his hero name to Red Cardinal. He feels pretty lost. Maybe he stumbles into Ra's al Ghul or smthn idk maybe smthn happens there perhaps. Maybe Damian has to put on Redimar again and rescue him? But its less of a rescue and more of a "Stop joining the dark side Tim jesus christ-" (and it does work).
They go home. Tim gets a boyfriend or two. Damian falls into his art. Bruce is throwing himself into work. They're all kind of a mess, but they keep moving.
and then
Dick
(lmao that sounded wrong)
ahem; and then the circus comes to town. The batfam- well, Tim, Damian, and Bruce- all decide to get together to do something fun. Take the opportunities given, yk? So they go to the circus together.
Wham bam rip the falling Flying Graysons.
They see Dick, breaking apart, and they know they have to do something. Bruce is the first to move. Then Tim. Damian is the last.
It's pretty quick getting Dick home, since Bruce is already a foster parent cuz of Tim yk. So Dick doesn't have to suffer in Juvie at all really. But that doesn't change the fact that he is ANGRY.
Dick is SO angry. he wants to kill the person who murdered his parents. He knows what he saw.
The fam of course do their best to investigate. Mostly Tim, who feels unworthy of being around an innocent little kid after his whole.... villain era, i suppose lol. (ofc Dick thinks Tim doesnt like him lol misunderstanding arc GO)
The whole "Dick accepts that justice is better than murder kinda maybe FOR NOW" storyline happens, and Dick becomes the conniving, bright, little Robin we all know and love. (Thinking of the Young Justice Cartoon Robin (but not the characters- just Dick's character) aaaand
Womp womp GUESS WHOS BACK
Jason's Back
but i'll leave that for later.
#reverse robins#batman#damian wayne#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#This is an intersting dynamic and I'd love to see where it continues#since Tim killed Joker that changed a lot for the anger canon Jason holds#if Tim gets involved with ra's does he find cass there or jason or just miss them?
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One of the worst things ab being violently back into thinking about/consuming Homestuck content is that im now completely thinking about relationships as quadrants again
#gods if i accidentally say flushed instead of romantically interested to someone i might just.#i might just delete who i am and move to a whole new state#tbf quadrants are so interesting as a dynamic and to explore in media like it. its so fucking intersting to me dude
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The Greek Gods Try To Win Your Heart
Pairing: Apollo, Aphrodite, Ares, Hades, Hermes, Poseidon, Zeus x Reader
Tags: fluff, slight power dynamics, flirting, kissing, gift giving, protectiveness, letters, human!Reader
A/N: Seeing as I'm still in Greece as of writing this and EPIC the Musical made fall in love with the Gods I'm writing this.
Apollo serenades you at the start of every sunset. For him it's important that his belobed starts the day right and he more than happy to help. Somehow he never runs out of sappy verse to whisper in your ear as he leaves, giving you words to replay in your sleep.
Aphrodite visits you every free moment she has. She is affectionate in every way possible. In her words, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, in her touch with which she is able to make your whole body tingle and want more, in her actions with which she displays affection for you in grand guestures because you're her beloved human and all other Gods should know it.
Ares doesn't know much about gentle touch but he is willing to let you teach him. Eager to tell you of his many victories but also provide you with lessons so that no one can put you in danger, not that anyone would dare with him watching. Protectiveness is also part of his nature to the point of being perfectly willing to be cruel in order to protect you from others.
Hades showers you with many gifts over the time he spends trying to win your heart. Makes sure you're always thinking of him while you're apart and he wants have something of yours too, each of you would have one piece of each other with you. Sends his kisses from afar until you're in his home and he can kiss you for real.
Hermes runs everywhere all the time but he always makes time for you, it doesn't matter what message he needs to deliver. There's always something intersting for him to tell you when he comes back from his travels but he also likes using the excuse of sending a message to see you. Not unnusual for you to see a love letter randomly appear in your room, right next to your bed.
Poseidon takes you to many islands for a vecation with him, a romantic getaway if you will for you two to get to know each other better. He loves to go on a midnight swim with you under the stars and give you lots of gifts from the sea, things to decorate yourself and your home with.
Zeus brags a lot about himself when he's with you, he's a big showoff but he also wants to lift you up. If you want to be his lover you have to be worthy of him, the King of the Gods. He is very loving when you start returning his feelings, he wants to be a good lover, which also means he can hardly keep his hands to himself when you're alone.
Dividers by: @saradika-graphics
#apollo x reader#aphrodite x reader#ares x reader#hades x reader#hermes x reader#poseidon x reader#zeus x reader#greek mythology#greek myth#hades supergiant#epic the musical#fluff imagine#x reader
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Brain is currently locked on the insane dynamic of MTF Aaron Minyard (Erin Minyard) and FTM Neil Josten.
Neil: I'd let you have my tits, if I hadn't lost them on an interstate at some point.
Erin: I wouldn't want your tits anyways.
Neil: Yeah, who knows where they've been at this point.
Erin: I know where they've been and the answer is on you. That's the worst place they could have been.
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Hello! I am not a therapist but I do have both BPD and NPD and I hope you will hear me out, and see the value in the perspective of people who experience these things that you are talking about.
Firstly, I want to thank @butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway for their very kind, nuanced, and absolutely true discussion of NPD. We don't often get that since NPD is a heavily demonized disorder and it can make seeking a therapist very difficult and scary, so it is very nice to see that some of you are more understanding. I will be building off of some of the points you have made.
OP, the way you have spoken about personality disorders felt very dehumanizing. The way you speak about both NPD and BPD makes it sound like you think they are wholly bad things, and focusing on 'cures' rather than how to cope with these things in a healthy way brings that forward. Especially to describe BPD as a curse. I don't know if you have BPD or not, but you should never speak about a disorder you do not have that way, and even if you do have it, you may talk like that about your own experiences but you should not be speaking that way about everyone since you do not know everyone's experiences.
Personality disorders are named such because they do have a large impact on someones personality, aka, they are part of who you are. Seeing something that is a part of me described like it is only bad and must be changed is hurtful. It does not have the same impact as someone saying negative symptoms can be managed and you can live a happy life with BPD as seeing someone say 'BPD is a curse! but don't worry it can be cured!'
Part of the learning to be healthy and live a happy life is self love and acceptance. And that includes my personality disorders, recognizing I will always be strange, and learning how to navigate that. If you are wondering, how can something like BPD have any positives, look here. I do describe a lot of pain I have gone through as a result of rapid BPD attachments. But I also describe euphoria, forming close bonds with others like me, and getting healthy relationships in the end. I talk about how trying to suppress the symptoms entirely and act like a normal person is harmful. Learning to navigate symptoms in a healthy way is what is important.
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Now let's talk about narcissism. It is less direct, but in your original post it really does come off like you think narcissism is inherently bad, at least when it is at the level where it is a personality disorder. Of course, as a disorder it can be distressing, but it also comes off a bit like you think this 'Echoism' only ever hurts yourself while NPD is dangerous and hurts others.
But.... To me, Echoism is simply describing covert NPD. Someone who still feels that deep need for attention that they have been deprived of (which, like beltway said, is what causes NPD) but does not feel safe to seek it, and is sort of in a perpetual NPD crash. A lot of covert narcs are deep in denial about their NPD partly because they are taught that having Need and seeking to fulfill them is Evil so they are like I could Never have Has Needs Disease. Especially if attention also feels dangerous to them. It makes it very difficult for covert narcs to accept their narcissism, which is something we have gone through when we were covert, especially because that shame was reinforced by so many resources saying NPD is a 'bad person disease' and we knew we were a good person.
But honestly, seeking attention feeling dangerous is why narcs use 'manipulative' means. We were not taught that you can just ask for care and receive it. You have to be aware of the larger social situation and influence it that way to get any attention. We are taught this by abuse that was done to us. It is not our fault. And like was said previously, doing things in this manner does not mean that the things you are doing are harmful! It just means you are doing them with high awareness of the situation and what your actions are likely to cause others to do. My alter Husker talks about this in depth here.
Yes, often you are trying to influence them to do something that you want, but honestly, most social interaction is this, the narc is just more aware of it. And someone with NPD can be doing that in a controlling and abusive way. But they can also be doing it harmlessly, or even benevolently. And people without NPD are frequently controlling and abusive. NPD can flavor an abusers style, but it is not what makes someone abusive or not.
People can abuse others because of their feelings, and personality disorders cause strong, irrational feelings, but what makes something abuse is how someone then chooses to ACT on those feelings, not the presence of feelings. And presence of strong feelings does not mean someone is going to act any specific way. And people can abuse people acting on feelings that are not disordered! Neurotypical people abuse all the time, society it set up and structured to reward abuse, abusive power dynamics are normalized for almost everyone very young with how much total control over their childrens lives parents have, and people will try to then model that in other relationships, personality disorder or not!
And you can have NPD and be a good person without acting entirely normal. And a lot of that comes from unlearning shame for your needs and getting community support, exactly as beltway has said. I have gotten a lot better since knowing I have NPD and being open about it, having language for these strong emotions that I feel, and being able to talk about these emotions honestly. Being able to tell my partner that I felt angry at them, I was jealous of them for an irrational reason, and have them comfort me and tell me my feelings are not evil, is incredibly freeing. Being able to do the same for them and seeing that I am not alone is incredibly freeing. Trying to suppress these emotions and act normal would just lead to more crying alone. My alter Vox talks about it in depth here.
It's incredibly freeing to go to my friends and say "Hey! I have NPD! I need attention please!" And they go "Yes of course Alastor you deserve it you are the best ever and make our lives better thank you!" And they can come to me like "Alastor I need attention or help I am sad help" And I will go "yes of course I adore you you are so special my sweet darling."
And I have told them exactly how I feel about them. I have told them I lack empathy for them. I have told them a lot of my care about them comes from the fact that they pay attention to me. And they still love me. And I adore them. And we are helping each other mutually, to live healthier and happier lives, with connection to others.
The most important thing to help pwNPD is to change the stigma. Let people know we can be great friends, even while still having NPD and not 'cured'. Let people with NPD know that they can be open about symptoms and not everyone will be scared of them and hate them. Change how psychology talks about NPD so people will be less scared of us. Treating pwNPD like monsters is going to make more of us feel we cant change, and either will lead to self hatred or people going "fuck it i guess i will be shitty then if theres no point trying to be nice".
Learn love and acceptance for NPD.
Currently getting my socks clean blown off by Rethinking Narcissism, by Dr. Craig Malkin. Which I found, in a roundabout way, from this video on Midsommar, grief, and narcissism.
Tonight I woke up from a nap and accidentally took my morning meds, so I'm going to be up for a few hours because of the meth. In place of sleep, I'll try to roughly sum up some basic ideas proposed by the research the book is based on:
That traits of "narcissism" like entitlement, grandiosity, and feeling special are not inherently toxic. There are times and places they are appropriate and beneficial. If you show up at a hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest, you should not sit and wait to be seen after people with earaches and coughs. (Actually, medical systems are designed to prioritize people with more urgent needs, and you qualify under that system. You are special and are deserving of different treatment than those others, which is why making your needs known, even insisting on it if you're not listened to appropriately the first time, is an extremely good idea. It keeps you from bleeding to death on the floor, and keeps the hospital from getting its pants sued off by your heirs.)
It is more useful to view "narcissism" not as an inherent immutable personality trait, but as a cluster of coping mechanisms. As previously stated, there are times they are exactly the right coping mechanism for the job. However, people we call "narcissists" tend to cling to these ones even when they become detrimental to themselves and others, often because they lack other ways of regulating their emotions and getting their needs met. And that is something they can change, if a person is willing to put in sincere and difficult work. It is not usually fast change; it's a matter of years, not weeks. But a skillbuilding approach turned Borderline Personality Disorder from an immutable curse to a fully treatable (though not quickly treatable) condition, and there's a lot of hope that it can do the same for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Meanwhile, there's an opposite end to the narcissism spectrum, and it is also pathological and destructive to hang out there all the time. It's an aversion, or even a resistance, to expecting yourself or other people to treat your own feelings, thoughts, ideas, needs, or preferences as important. For Greek mythology reasons, its proposed name is Echoism.
Unfortunately, because most of the damage echoism does is, by its very nature, localized to its sufferer and their own personal relationships, its downsides aren't often talked about. In fact, it's often seen as an ideal moral state, a kind of altruism or saintliness everyone should strive for. As a pathological coping mechanism a person is trapped in, though, it's often more a fear-based reflex than a conscious and deliberate attempt to achieve some real and specific good. It's not actually as beneficial as being able to recognize your needs, desires, positive aspects, and areas of competence or excellence, and bring them forward in your relationships with other people and yourself.
To me this has all been a cross between a gut-punch and a cool, sweet drink of water. There have been other ways to describe echoism over the years, but this feels like the most concise and useful one I've seen in ages.
It specifically puts its pin down in the middle of the moral debate a lot of people struggle with—"What right do I have to put myself forward? What hope do I have of being seen and accepted? Isn't it better not to burden anybody else?"—and says that the problem is not feeling in touch with either side of the equation, but specifically, the inability to move from one part of the spectrum to another when it's merited by circumstances.
When I was a child, I thought Echoism was the answer. It was my ideal. I thought it was what would get me the love and acceptance I wanted, and would keep me safe from the pain of rejection or not being understood. I had no idea it would actually, in fact, be the primary cause of alienation and loneliness for the rest of my life.
Now I'm so deeply thankful I couldn't fully achieve it, in practical terms. As hard as I tried to erase myself, there were always things I loved too much to suppress. I still found ways to express and discover myself in the books I read, the stories I wrote, the intellectual work of school and the experience of pursuing hobbies I loved, my ambitions to be helpful even when they demanded I stop being selfless, and the relationships where I felt safe enough to experience love and acceptance even if I didn't think I deserved them.
There's this question I found a while back that echoed in my bones: Who am I allowed to be around you? Because that's what I felt like, as a child. If I wanted to engage with other people and minimize my risk of harm, it was my job to bend into a pretzel and fit the shape they wanted. And thank god, thank god, thank god, I couldn't fully do it. Despite everything, there were parts of me too strong and bright to lop off completely to get my arms and legs inside the carriage. I was able to take care of myself and let them grow in secret until I found social places I could let them out again. Despite myself, I found ways to grow and thrive, well beyond the trauma that said I shouldn't have.
#now broadcasting#ableism tw#narc abuse mention tw#ableism#NPD#medicalizing language tw#very odd to actually get to speak to a therapist about this in an area where the power dynamic isnt heavily shifted in their favor!#tumblr is an intersting place!#I do hope you will hear me out.#bpd#personality disorders#narc abuse truther#sorry if my tw tags are offensive to you dear therapist i am just trying to cover my bases so no one who doesnt want to see this is harmed#i am not saying you necessarily are a narc abuse truther but that is sort of the reading i got.#save#essay#long post#like seriously really long
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Letter from Senator Edwin Johnson to Secretary of State Dean Acheson Urging the United States’ Recognition of the People's Republic of China
Record Group 59: General Records of the Department of StateSeries: Central Decimal FilesFile Unit: 893.01/10-249 to 11-649 [1/3]
United States Senate
Committee on Interstate and Foreign Commerce
October 26, 1949
Hon. Dean Acheson
Secretary of State
Washington, D. C.
My dear Secretary Acheson:
I have watched with great interest the developments in China and the sincere efforts of our State Department to react in an intelligent, realistic and constructive manner to that dynamic situation.
I have sincerely believed that the former policy of military and other support for the Nationalist Government of Chiang Kai Shek has been in error since available evidence has demonstrated the completely corrupt and irresponsible character of that government.
It seems to me we must recognize that after centuries of cruel military and tyrannical oppression, the mass of Chinese people have lost hope and are now turning to a government which paints pretty pictures and might possibly give them needed social and economic change and the peace they want so badly.
It is reported to me that our missionaries whose experience in China is many generations old are unanimously of the opinion that the new government in China should be promptly recognized. It is their experience that this government might possibly cooperate in a forthright manner and might possibly create conditions which will mean progress in their work.
I am informed by various shipping lines, cotton exporters, and other American businessmen who have transacted business in China for 40 years that the new government is eager to conduct normal trade with American businessmen. More than this, these businessmen are fearful that a continued policy of non-recognition may lose to us the Chinese market for many years. Since the British Government and British businessmen plan to make this market the exclusive province of British shipping, it seems desirable that our State Department should promptly take those steps which would protect the interests of American business in China. [complete transcript at link]
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Nightfall
August
CW: just vampire and bloodbag dynamics. a playful “threat.”
**
The interstate was quiet. Even the night air was a balmy seventy degrees in the final weeks of summer. He slept though the days the same as his master now, but if he woke briefly he could feel the heat of them, a haze that turned the blue sky white. Insects trilled in the grass all day long.
The trees in the distance appeared black against the orange cityglow of the sky. Eighty-five felt like nothing in Maxim’s sleek silver car, gliding through the air like the edge of a knife.
Carlo put his foot on the dash and took it swiftly down again. Maxim had reprimanded him for that once. At first he'd assumed it was out of a sense of preservation for his pristine car. He’d burned in shame for not having thought of that himself. It was a rude, childish habit. Yet in the next breath, Maxim told him it was because it was unsafe. And he was only mortal, after all.
“Before any of this, I thought I’d rather a new vampire feed from me than an older one,” Carlo said. He was bored, and boredom made him chatty these days. “No offense, but the older you get, the stronger you get. And scarier.”
“And what about now?” the vampire asked neutrally.
“Not now so much,” he answered. “The new ones are so… hungry. Rough.”
“It’s harder for them to control it when they’re newly made,” Maxim agreed. “Even the ones who want to control it.”
“Control what?”
“The reflex. When a vampire bites, it triggers a series of impulses. Immobilize, incapacitate, and feed.”
Carlo turned to watch him in the driver’s seat. The now-familiar shape of his profile in the dark was lit only by the orange high mast lights that lined the highway. “Every time?”
Maxim glanced at him and returned his gaze to the road. “Yes."
“But it goes away, when you’re an older vampire?”
“Mm. No.”
“You feel that?”
He hesitated, but it wasn't like him to be dishonest, even in the interest of placating Carlo. “I do.”
He changed lanes to pass a sluggish flatbed truck. Another Maine plate. Carlo had been counting, and it did not seem to be confirmation bias that there were an inordinate number of them on the Maryland roads. He forgot to add this one.
“That disturbed you.”
“No,” he lied. “Sorry. I just didn’t know that.”
“Does that change something for you?”
Sometimes he got the sense that Maxim asked him things out of a very general curiosity. Like he was taking notes for a far future that didn't include him.
“No,” he said stubbornly. “I just didn’t realize you had the urge to incapacitate prey still.”
“Prey is an interesting word choice. And urge is the wrong word entirely. It’s information. Biological. It might be too generous to even call it a coherent thought. I notice it, it passes. I hardly observe it anymore, let alone wrestle with it. I have absolutely no conscious desire to hurt you, Carlo. Quite the opposite.”
Carlo nodded, arms crossed over his waist. He put his right foot on the dash. Maxim didn’t correct him.
“I’ve got instincts too,” he said after another mile of empty highway. “Sometimes I’m still afraid of you. Not you, but what you are. It comes out of nowhere.”
Maxim took a hand off the steering wheel and set it in Carlo’s hair, giving it a soft caress before returning it to the wheel. “Of course you do. That’s very deep in human subconsciousness. It’s just survival instinct.”
“So the word prey does apply!” he argued.
“Such an antagonistic little thing. Can I start making threats to keep you compliant, or is it too soon?”
Carlo turned his face toward the window so the vampire would not see his smile. Maxim had easily, graciously forgiven his human nature, blamelessly saying of course you do. He should return the gesture and forgive the vampire’s nature. It had never been anything but loving to him. The hand was on the back of his head again, checking to see if he was truly upset.
“I am compliant,” he insisted playfully, and laid his head back in the vampire’s palm.
“Good. I don’t have to send you to the trunk then.”
Carlo smiled as the vampire gently squeezed the back of his neck.
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