#their best friends -> boyfriends pipeline is so good

[incorrect-losers]

about 100% sure I’ve liked all of your Stozier posts and I have no regrets.

Then I cannot possibly have enough of them on my blog bc my love for them is never ending. (Expect a lot more of my boys)

[ur-mousey]

Benzo-Addict ~

- Yandere!Jeffery x F!Reader -

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Part One, Part Three

summary Drugs have always been your friend. A source of courage and tonight's no different. Now it's time to fuck a nerd. Hope your BF understands. 1k warning mature, non-con, hostage situation, abusive relationship cycle

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Oh... You came back. You aren't just a spinless quitter. Perhaps you’re a fucking psychopath. But fuck on, I guess.

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Jeffery had a lot of nervous ticks. He was a time bomb of sorts. And he was imploding at the seams right before your eyes. You noticed it as lab partners when research came out dry or when the hypothesis was proven wrong. But, you kept them noted in the recesses of your mind. Never thinking that you would see today as you do.

He rambled to himself, undiscernible to you. Jeffery picked his teeth with the tip of his knife. Like you'd caught him with his cutesy anime pens not too long ago. He would shake all over doing minuscule tasks and you joked about it with him. You'd wondered, cheekily, how could organizing papers cause someone to tremble more than a leaf?

But, in this case, he was gagging your boyfriend. Seem pretty fucking reasonable now. And you couldn't stop it. You watched. Wrist cleaned of bondage while Cody whipped his head around. It being all he could do. "Fuck off me! And my girl!!" His voice was a visceral growl, hoarse from his prior screeching. "You micro dick ince~ Hmhph."

"Stay silent like a good dog for a sec." Jeffery patted Cody's shoulder. He turned to you with a soft desolate smile. He padded over to you in a mere flash. "Hey you~ I'd told you to sleep, didn't I? It'll help. When I get you home, it'll be like this nightmare never happened."

"W-wh... Why?" You stuttered through the fatigue. The drugs were in the deepest reservoir of your stomach, begging to be felt in a dream. Yet you wheezed at the idea of losing this moment. This might be the last thing you ever see. "Don't hurt him."

Jeffery sighed, "Don't be like that, darling." He nodded towards your boyfriend. "He had it coming. Look at him. He's lookin' back at you." Shakily you looked over Jeffery's frame to see Cody more clearly. He was right, his eyes were on you. "Disgusting, ain't he."

Snot and tears choked him further than the soiled sock could. You'd never seen Cody so helpless. And you'd thought yourself capable of fleeing, but he would remain for dead, and your feet stilled at its iron gates. You've wished him gone a handful of times, but never like this.

"I have a few ideas," Jeffery continued, he gripped your hair, tugging you closer to his chest. "He's a shitty jock and a lowlife dragging you down. You've seen Corpse Party? Maybe I'll cut his tongue up like... Woah oh, easy there."

Every curse came to mind, aimed and sharpened at the back of his skill. You would damn him to hell and father down the pipeline if you could. But, You opted to squirm and whine out of Jeffery's grasp.

His slight hand tremors felt jarring against your scalp. You had held them once. The thought petrified you more so than Cody's muffled mulls.

"Calm down, please. You'd promise yourself that today would be the last, right? I'm giving that to you now!" You flinched at Jeffery's tone. Your eyes are wide and watering. "Don't give me that look. I knew you wouldn't see this from my perspective, but I'm doing this for you!"

You stilled, blanched, and mortified, by Jeffery's words. How would he know? You promised yourself throughout yesterday, Wednesday, and the day before that. You wanted out of this life. Cody wasn't the best. He was a sleaze, as Nicole puts it. But he was your definition of normal.

"That means jack shit," You squealed. The past doesn't matter. That promise doesn't, not at this moment.

Mornings started with arguments. You stoic in the face of him calling you the nastiest of names imaginable. Your insecurity set ablaze with accuracy. He never laid a hand on you. You couldn't say the same for the drywall, littered with the impressions of violent spouts. And Cody would be your most vocal supporter when you're high.

He'd call you the prettiest slut around for miles, rubbing his thumb over the flush of your checks from mystery shots. Cody begged for your lips to be on him constantly. And he desired your hips rocking over his shaft, causing you to spasm. He liked you sensitive. Despite your lack of control, he'd ask you to squeeze your drugged-up pussy around his cock, urging you to squirt down his balls.

Then by morning, he'll start tearing you down again, and you'll realize Cody hardly touches you sober.

It was normal. And each day you promised yourself you'd leave, you played further into the game. You'll think to yourself: What a fucking asshole, keeping praises locked behind a firewall of Xannies and Oxy.

But, you'll stay despite each passing day. You had told Jeffery about it, briefly -during a massive hangover no less. That didn't mean you wanted your boyfriend murdered. Without Cody, you'd be abnormal.

"It doesn't matter, he..." Jeffery laughed, his nerves spilling past his braced teeth. He nuzzled his nose along your eyebrow. And you felt on the verge of pissing yourself. "He brainwashed you. It's fine to be confused. Sleep off the drugs. We'll be home when you wake."

"Why?"

"Why what? Becoming sober would do you great."

You winced, "No? Why're you doing this."

Jeffery paused. He scratched at his temple. "Is it not obvious? I want you... badly. Not just your body, even though it's immaculate. You... um, have curves where I like them the most. And it's not every day I meet a pretty girl who loves anime and who's nice to me. Hello, you watched Pretty Cure and Sailor Moon. You were my only true friend. You could keep up with me like my Discord homies. And, um."

He was rambling. Fuck. You didn't know liking childish anime would get you here. Eight-year-old you was a bitch fucking whore~

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** Choice ** Skip past Jeffery's monologue a) end up in fucking the psycho anime freak, or b) end up in a ditch dead #yourimagination * click *

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Thank you for reading! Request rules are here. Follow my ig = lil.thoughts.xo!

Part One, Part Three

I am not a fan of Jeffery from 09'. That being said, I was shocked by the amount of people who liked part one! I hope this is good for y'all.

@opalineishere here's part twooo~

@sakurashana I tagged your ass because you had something to say the other day 😂

[fortunxa]

Do you think au powder is comphet or just bi

With me saying that actually it kinda reminds me of something Elena Gilbert says in the vampire diaries? 😭😭😭 which is something like “her basically feeling pressured in way because of their history and their family’s in a way expecting it because boy!!! Girl!!! they are soo gonna be with eachother because of childhood bestfriend trope or wtv.. and also she felt as if she owed it to him because of their history”

But that’s stupid to compare the situations I guess idk I feel stupid

ALSO girl girl childhood best friends to lovers is more unique than boy girl AND boy boy because two girls can kiss in front on someone and people would think their straight also the term “girlfriend” to describe just a friend sometimes for girl.. boy girl is just expected and happens a lot!! And boy boy two boys could hug and people would call them gay

Sorry for the lack of punctuation and grammar (none) in general this needed to get out there

woah i read this when i woke up at the ass crack of dawn and had to reread a few times for it to sink in properly but i think i have an answer now. BIG YAP AHEAD ‼️

Powder’s sexuality will always be open to interpretation, and whether or not she’s comphet is a bit harder to tell. recognizing if someone is experiencing compulsory heterosexuality is tricky because it’s something that often happens subconsciously. since we don’t have access to Powder’s direct thoughts regarding Ekko, i won’t be able to provide a clear-cut answer for that.

but in my opinion (and don’t hate me for this), she didn’t seem comphet (i say this basing myself on proper visuals only). god knows how i feel about main timeline t*meb*mb, but Powder did seem happy with Ekko in the AU episode. we see it in the sketches, the subtle tells throughout her hideout, the way she interacts with him, etc.

yes, the boy/girl childhood friends to lovers trope is starting to feel less like romance and more like a script. it romanticizes familiarity over genuine attraction (“i must love him because i’ve always known him” and attachment ≠ attraction). it offers a convenient, comfortable path to heterosexuality, framing it as the natural next step and thus delaying/erasing queerness. the “best friend becomes boyfriend” pipeline is so good at hiding queerness behind safety. it tells you that if you wait long enough, the ‘right’ kind of love (read: heterosexual) will just click into place. no space left to question, no room to unravel—just comfort mistaken for desire. and for a closeted queer person, that path is tempting, because once you start asking the hard questions, your whole world can shift. it’s easier to fall for the story that’s already been written for you.

[side note for the “i owe it to him” part: boy/girl childhood friends to lovers trope often feels like a transaction. “i’ve invested years into that friendship, now it has to become romance.” or “he’s been good to me, so this must be what love is.” comphet dressed up as loyalty. obligation dressed up as fate. it convinces you that emotional labor = romantic debt.]

so, is the boy/girl childhood friends to lovers trope inherently bad? no, but it is overdone at times and it can be a trap for people navigating comphet. it’s kind of the comphet’s perfect disguise when that trope is considered the default.

that being said (and going back to Powder and Ekko): it doesn’t seem like that was the case here, but with all the subtleties in relation to experiencing comphet, it also wouldn’t be a reach. they grew up side by side, he’s always been there, and they care about each other deeply. will we ever actually know if Powder is comphet, though? no, unless we have full access to her personal thoughts (which i don’t see happening).

bonus regarding the girl/girl childhood friends to lovers trope you mentioned and the contradiction with the boy/boy one:

girlhood is deeply homoerotic by default, but never really allowed to be gay. girls grow up sharing beds, holding hands, kissing each other on dares, calling each other soulmates, and it’s all brushed off as “just friendship.” emotional intimacy and even physical affection between girls is normalized to the point of invisibility. there’s so much plausible deniability. girl/girl closeness is encouraged, even fetishized (i’m looking at you, porn addicts). so when two girls actually fall in love, or one starts questioning? it’s way harder to tell what’s real and what’s been packaged as ‘harmless’ intimacy. comphet lets it thrive by never taking it seriously—the girl/girl childhood friends to lovers trope hits different because it exposes that. it’s about realizing that the thing you were told was ‘just friendship’ was actually everything and no one noticed. not even you.

meanwhile, boy/boy friendships are policed the opposite way. two boys hug and it’s instantly, “haha, that’s gay” (just like you said). there’s no room for softness, no ambiguity. if they fall for each other, it’s a rebellion against hyper-visibility and stigma. boys grow up terrified to express tenderness because even platonic closeness gets sexualized, mocked, or punished (contrasting with girl/girl friendships). there’s no space to explore softness, let alone queerness QUIETLY. when two boys do fall in love, the world already suspects it—but they’ve been taught to fear it. the boy/boy childhood friends to lovers trope never got the luxury of hiding in plain sight like the girl/girl one.

it’s not that one trope is better than the other—it’s that queerness shows up differently depending on how society treats affection, and both suffer under the same system: heteronormativity punishes boys for closeness and disguises queer girlhood as innocent play.

[babygirlbites]

Okay thank you and I won't! Now... Imagine being Leah's Imprint and feeling that draw before she changed, leading you to be her very best friend rather than a lover for when she was with Sam... And perhaps to you legitimately threatening Sam once he broke her heart.

It could be kinda funny if that is the one thing non of the Pack knows - that you legitimately scared Sam when he had just imprinted on Emily? Bonus points if he has to act like nothing happened around you because you are always with Leah now, and aren't shy about that fact.

(I know this is weird, I just want to kinda punch him in the face or scare him.)

Best Friends to Lovers Pipeline Headcannon (Leah Clearwater)

Normally not a BF2L kind of girl but this ask was just too good to miss

• the boys on the Rez used to pull your hair when you were a kid and call you names, typical childish tourment we all go through

• that is until the day another girl lands a surprisingly strong punch to a juvenile Paul Lahotes face to defend your honour

• Ever since that day you and Leah had been by each others side, inseparable

• sue would often joke that you were the second daughter she never had - and for a long while it did feel that way

• you shared everything; toys, secrets, clothes

• as the two of you grew up, your friendship often dwindled and reconciled

• you had different classes, made new friendships seperate too eachother

• as the dreaded teens and hormones hit the two of you would sometimes argue, both storming home to your respective mothers and crying to them

• but these arguments never lasted; being away from Leah felt as abnormal to you as trying to swim against a current

• Sue would ring your mom and they would laugh at how silly you both could be; their life experience meaning they could see things the two of you could not

• your parents never fretted or worried, they knew you two were never far from making up and returning to being thick as theives

• unlike the other girls in class, you two weren’t boy crazy, neither you or Leah had any interest in sharing your prescious time with boyfriends

• and why would you? You both had everything the other needed

• this all changed of course when Leah caught Sam’s eye

• She hurried home one day, forcing her younger brother from the family landline to ring you, to tell you all about her new obsession

• and you didn’t get it; the twist in your gut or the sick feeling in the bottom of your stomach at your friends new happiness

• you didn’t quite understand yet why you had such an issue with the boy; he had done nothing wrong to you

• you saw them together multiple times but still something was just so wrong with it all too you; everything was about Sam now

•”me and Sam did this…” , “did you know Sam…”, “Sam says he thinks…”, “me and Sam are going to …”

• at first you thought it was just a fear of being replaced; sure, Leah was spending less time with you now that she had a boyfriend, but she still made a furious effort to see you and was dedicated to keeping up your weekly sleepovers

• this confusion was cleared the first time you saw them kiss

•it was like being punched in the gut, a feeling of jealously so intense you had nothing to compare it too

• and it terrified you

• you pulled away from Leah, sleepovers turning to bi weekly, then monthly and then none at all

• you started going out with your other friends, taking your fake id to the closest town and partying with them

• for maybe the first time in your life you were being a “normal” teenager, acting out and mixing with boys

• you kissed boys, girls - anyone who would distract you from your best friend

• trying to be a promiscuous party girl felt like trying to fit a circle into a square shaped hole, but it at least gave you something else to use your time on instead of pining for your lost connection with Leah

• that was until you woke up to rocks at your window, Leah at your door, with tear stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes

• she told you how Sam had left her, the ins and outs and the gory details, every new tear down her cheek made you wince

• “I don’t even know why I came here, I just had to see you” she admits, and you want to get on your knees and beg for her forgiveness, to take back every second you spent pulling away from her

• instead you pull her into your arms and hold her there while she sobs

• days later you turn up to Sam’s house, unsure as to why you’re there or what you plan on doing, but as soon as you see his face behind the door screen your words just tumble out

• you lay it all on him; how vile you think he is, how wrong he is for leaving Leah for her own cousin

• he just takes it, staring down at you with wide eyes

• when he finally speaks you expect him to give some kind of pathetic apology, but instead he tries to tell you he didn’t have any control over his situation

• you’ve struck him before either of you even realise what you’ve done

• admittadly it’s a fairly shabby throw, but your nails catch his skin and break it

• you turn on your heels and storm away before Sam can even gather his thoughts enough to realise he’s just been slapped

• it’s a bitter sweet senario; Leah is more broken than you’ve ever seen her, but in some form you have your best friend back

• you never explain yourself for why you put the distance in place, and if Leah wonders she never bothers to ask

• Sue starts seeing you again, the sleep overs restart

• a strange sense of equilibrium sets in

• that is, of course until Harry dies

• and then she’s just gone

• you don’t even see Leah at the funeral; you hold Sue extra tight that day, hugging her for herself and her daughter

• and oh god do you miss her

• but every text you send is left unanswered, every time you visit the house there’s a new excuse for why you can’t see her

• it’s a month and three days before you see her again, and yes, you had counted

• it’s your turn to storm up too her;demanding an explanation right there in the fresh fruit aisle of the supermarket

• you have no clue what you expected her to say or do; but she just stares at you, openly gawking

• ironic really; you haven’t changed at all since the last time she saw you and she had grown about a foot and toned up massively - you can’t help but subconsciously search for steroids in her basket

• you find out much later that this was the moment Leah imprinted on you, right there and then as you sounded off about how lonely you had been and how much of a bitch she was for leaving you like that

• the dynamic shifted again between the two of you; it was like she couldn’t quite stay away now

• everywhere you went Leah was nearby, never really there but just hovering in the vacinity

• a walk on the beach? Leah’s in her car is at the car park

• youre out with friends? Leah is on the other side of the bar trying to not get caught watching you

• in the end she turns up to your house again, stones at the window and all

• it’s different this time, you’ve always been able to tell if Leah is nervous - you know the twitch and the lack of eye contact, traits she has carried from a very young age

• she shows you what she is and she’s scared

• she knows this is a huge thing, but she can’t stay away from you anymore

• and now YOURE scared, your best friend is a massive wolf and you’re just supposed to be cool with that?

• you run, still in your slippers from the house, and lock the door behind you

• you know the could catch up if she wanted too but Leah has always loved you too much to do that to you

• she knows you need time, and although she’s scared to death that you’ll never come back, she has to let you go

• and you do come back

• this time you’re at her window

• she’s rough, bags under her eyes and her hair is lank like it been washed since she last saw you

• (it hasn’t, she’s been so physically unwell by being rejected by you that she couldn’t eat, sleep or take care of herself)

• Seth had tried to get his mom to call the doctor but Sue just pushed him off; she knew her daughter and the truth behind her intense need for your company

• she knew the imprint bond, even if Leah hadn’t told her in so many words

• and most importantly, she knew you

• Sue had always known that no matter what, you and her daughter were fated to come back together every time you fell apart

• and as always, she was right

• Leah explained the imprint too you, selling it as a friendship bond as to not scare you too much

• you weren’t stupid, you knew the tribes tales, told around bonfires since you were young

• but you let her have you in her life how she needed you, you’d be there for her in whatever form she needed you

• you and Leah definitely have “ you fell first but she fell harder” vibe

• falling in love romantically is inevitable for both of you, but it does give Sue some giggles to watch you both fight it at every turn

• Sue has always had a soft spot for you, knowing you were destined to be part of her family somehow

• Harry used to bet that you would fall for Seth and always be around that way, but she was all too happy to admit that he was wrong

• you brought her daughter back to her, Leah could truly be herself in your company

• when you are around the pack there’s the added level of awkwardness by being around both Emily and therefore Sam

• your history is unspoken, not even Leah knows what happened that night you turned up on his doorstep

• the rest of the pack are left to theorise why Sam seems so uncomfortable when you’re in a room with just him, why he jumps slightly everytime you move too fast

• they find it hilarious, it is hilarious - someone as small as you in comparison to the literal leader of the pack

• Leah tries to ask you about it numerous times but you just bat her off and say you don’t know what she’s talking about

• and she lets it go, because she doesn’t feel any sort of way towards Sam anymore, her heart healed by you

[dragonchicken]

Let me tell you

Starkiller had been consuming my waking thoughts for the last 24 hours.

THEY HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL WHY DID EVERYONE SETTLE FOR WOLFSTAR

So now I’m going to be ranking my favorite ships by character in order

James:

Starchaser (Jegulus, my loves)

Prongsfoot (I am not apologizing)

Moonchaser (this is a recent discovery but I am absolutely in love)

Sunrose (also recently but it totally makes sense)

Sunkiller (no comment)

Jily

Jegulily (no hate because the fics are good but in my head Regulus and Lily can not share James it’s not possible)

Sirius:

Wolfstar (end game)

Sunkiller (THINK PEOPLE)

Prongsfoot (like… they kissed at least once right?)

Those are the only ones I know

Remus:

Wolfstar (endgame)

Moonwater (they are so totally best friends after they break up)

Moonchaser (they are so pretty)

Moonkiller (I can ship Barty with a wall fr)

Moonrose (they are weirdly similar and I will not take corrections on this)

Regulus:

Starchaser (they are so end game coded)

Moonwater (brothers best friend to boyfriend to best friend pipeline)

Bartylus (also starkiller? But yea)

Rosewaterkiller (they hooked up a few times at least)

Rosewater (my cute boys who bond over befriending a psycho)

Jegulily (already said what needed to be said)

Evan:

Rosekiller (endgame)

Rosewater (imagine the wack ass fuck adventures these two awkward people embark on)

Rosewaterkiller (it was an age of discovery for all)

Sunrose (evan only did it to make Barty jealous)

Moonrose

Barty:

Rosekiller (endgame)

Starkiller (again, the potential these two rich spoiled brats have

Moonkiller (lasted two weeks)

Sunkiller (Barty and James are so different that it would either REALY work or not work at all)

Rosewaterkiller (psycho but loves his boys)

Bartylus (they are straight capping they do not love each other they are making people jealous)

Peter:

Asexual and I will NOT take criticism on this sorry.

[katy1kenobi]

It’s my birthday on Monday, but tomorrow night I am going out with my best friends to my favourite monthly queer party in the city (Christmas edition) and we are turning it into my birthday celebration.

It got me thinking about my birthday last year. I completed the bi-lesbian pipeline early this year, but on my last birthday I was still identifying as bisexual and I had a boyfriend. I had been feeling like very weird in the relationship, I always knew the relationship was a little off and friends and family would say things to me like “you just seem weird together, you are really disconnected,” and I knew it, but it was really starting to bother me and it was driving me INSANE trying to understand what we were missing that stopped us actually connecting.

I remember so vividly sitting at this restaurant for my birthday and it was the first time we had like gone out on a “date night” in well over 6 months, so we should have had lots to talk about, but we said nothing much at all to each other for the entire dinner except for him talking about some computer stuff I didn’t understand so I was just doing the classic “oh that’s cool” “yeah that makes sense” (it didn’t).

We were sitting on a raised table up the front and I could see everyone else in the restaurant really easily, and I was watching all of the other couples. My birthday is so close to Christmas so it was packed full, and everyone is in a good mood because they’ve just finished work for the year. All the other couples are giggling, holding hands, drinking a lot and having animated conversations while we were just getting through dinner.

I vividly remember looking at the other couples and thinking “we have literally never been like that” and I felt this intense longing, but if I tried to imagine myself behaving that way with someone, I could only see it with another women. I remember fully acknowledging that if my boyfriend tried to behave like that with me it would make me feel a bit sick and I’d hate it.

It was very soon after then that the penny finally dropped and I had the “oh you are a dumb ass, you’re not bisexual at all, you’re a lesbian,” moment, and broke up with said boyfriend (the disconnect was obviously both ways because you’ve literally never seen a man less phased that his girlfriend was breaking up with him because she’s a lesbian).

Now it’s nearly my birthday again and instead of sitting through a dinner feeling like something’s wrong with me because I can’t make myself feel that way about my boyfriend, I get to go to my favourite queer party with my friends as an out lesbian and everything is so much fucking brighter.

[dontaskmemybias]

Ryder's Jisung Recommendations

One Shots

Reckless convictions @moonjxsung This fic??? Hot professor Han falls for a student and chaos ensues. This shit rewired my brain chemistry.

On my mind @staytheword One of the first smut pieces I read and it is just so fucking beautiful. Stressed college student roommates hit home. This fic has stayed with me for so long, it showed me what fics can be like when someone really puts their all into it. I tagged more of Mari's stuff at the bottom because her fics are all so beautiful.

Weather the storm @doitforbangchan Ladies night out gets cancelled due to weather so boyfriend Han comes over and makes a fort with you. So cute, funny, and steamy.

The Heat @hwanghyunjinenthusiast Roommate Han brings home sex cookies. The hottest aphrodisiac fic I've read.

Friend Agreement @cas-skz First time with bff Han. So good. I don't normally love first time fics but this one is so cute and steamy, I couldn't leave it off the list.

Building Forts and Confessions @httpseiki Prompts: "Don't tempt me" and "lets build a fort". Bff2l story that was so good. Reader and Han are adorable and I loved it so much.

I need you, I love you @cb97breathing Amazing f2l with a nice accidental drunk confession. Everything I love in a fic. Belle is such a great writer, their fics are all amazing.

Blue Sunrise @quokkawritesarchive This fic??? Brothers best friend BLUESUNG!! Subby Ji is so hot in this fic jfc.

Same But Different @skzdarlings w/Felix. The world building is ethereal. I would legit read a whole novel. The entire threesome series darling wrote is so good but this one is one I have reread so many times now because it has such a phenomenal story. Check out the sharing a bed series too while you're at it 😘

Series

2:23 AM Pt. 1, Pt. 2 @webcorelino Flora wrote the first smut I ever read. This is from her old account but there was a time when I read this multiple times a week. F2l fic that is just so amazing. First fic I saved in my notes app on my phone.

Like Never Before Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3 @writerracha Best friends brother fic that is so fucking steamy and just 🤤

Kinkuary 17, Truth Comes Out, Start of Something New @kwanisms I accidentally read the second one first because I thought these were oneshots but the whole stranger turned best friend Felix's roommate pipeline went so hard. These fics are so damn good.

What could go wrong? Ch. 1, Ch. 2 @daisykihannie Haneul wrote the best incubus Han fic hands down. This series is incomplete as of this moment but I am awaiting the next part! Soooo good.

[ninadove]

As a (very niche portion of the) fandom, our collective attention has been captured by how much Felix adores Kagami — which is true and good and beautiful and magical. But we’ve been sleeping on how much she loves him, and today, I want to shine a spotlight on her side of the most beautiful love story ever written.

Before we begin, let me get the obvious out of the way: yes, she did try to crush his skull with a chair in Pretension, and she was iconic for that. HOWEVER. This is how their relationship started: what truly matters is how the story unfolds afterwards.

And boy does it unfold fast. By the end of the episode, Felix has shaken Kagami’s worldview so much that she:

Stands up to her own friends and fellow heroes in an effort to not only protect him, but also ensure that he can keep the Peacock Miraculous;

Actively challenges her mother’s teaching that emotions (in this context, romantic love) are a weakness that should be eradicated from the face of the Earth;

Is planning secret dates with Felix, even though as far as she knows, Tomoe still has her amok (you can’t tell me this little genius didn’t figure out the entire Sentilore in the sewers);

Trusts Felix with said amok despite his extensive criminal record, as illustrated by how quickly and firmly she takes his hand — with a little sigh if happiness, might I add. This is especially significant compared to previous instances of hand holding between the two, when he had to make all the effort while she remained completely limp.

And then Representation rolls around. And oh, boy.

Kagami instantly calms down from her TV-induced rage upon seeing her boyfriend on her balcony — a major improvement when you consider how big of a role anger and frustration play in her akumatisations.

Tangent 1:

Something similar happened in Ikari Gozen, when Mari protected Kagami from her mother, causing her to narrowly escape Hawkmoth’s influence. More on the Marigami-to-Feligami pipeline in another post.

Not only does Kagami instantly relax in Felix’s presence, but she laughs — something that previously only happened in the context of Adrigaminette, and we all know how that ended. Felix is the one to mend her heart and make her laugh again, for the second time since the dance.

Our two lovebirds proceed to straight up RUN AWAY INTO THE SUNSET. Kagami presumably spent the following 350 km (300 miles) cuddled up in Argos’ arms, admiring how handsome he looks in his glittery cosmic suit which we don’t get to see because budget.

Later on, they casually discuss Ladybug’s identity, while fireworks go off in the background. Let me rephrase this: Kagami trusted the person who stole the Miraculous with her best friend’s most burning secret, not because she wants to defeat Hawkmoth per say, but because Gabriel has been getting in the way of their make-out sessions and she can’t have that.

Tangent 2:

Also coming to your dash in the not-so-distant future: an analysis of Kagami’s relationship to the concepts of truth and lies, and how dependent it is on what serves her and her loved ones in the moment.

Then, of course, the core of the episode: Kagami actively participates in the play, helping Felix tell his story in a way he feels comfortable with.

Tangent 3 (lots of ‘em today):

This part is extremely important to me, because I’ve seen So. Many. People. complain that the play could have been boiled down to two lines of conversation.

And like.

No???

Firstly, this is a show, not real life: we as an audience needed the Sentilore confirmation to be as climactic as possible. If it hadn’t been, I can guarantee the exact same salters would be crying about the story’s “WaStEd PoTeNtIaL”.

But let’s delve into the real life implications of the Sentilore for a second.

Abuse survivors do not owe you a brief, comfortable explanation of what they went through, neatly wrapped up with a pretty little bow.

The play is a beautiful illustration of how art can be cathartic and therapeutic, and I need you guys to understand that this sequence means something to many, many viewers — many of them children in similarly terrible situations. You can pry these scenes from my cold, dead hands.

The kisses… All of them… During the firework show. As the sun rises to signify a new beginning. Disguised as Adrien’s parents. For context, this is the same girl who previously found a hand kiss to be too much for her broken heart to bear.

And of course, there’s the way she looks at him like he is her entire world, like she cannot understand how anyone could ever call him monstrous. Because Felix doesn’t get the monopoly of heart eyes.

Finally, in Recreation:

THE LIES CALLBACK. THE MIRACULOUS TEAM TOOK THE TIME AND MADE THE EFFORT TO PUT A LIES CALLBACK IN THE FREAKING FINALE. You guys know I’m insane about this scene already.

So what’s my point. Because yes, I do have a point, apart from “KSSGDJDKSS Feligami SGDHDKLS 🥰🥰🥰🥰”.

While we sometimes joke that Kagami is out of Felix’s league in every aspect — she doesn’t perceive him that way in the slightest. As far as she’s concerned, she has achieved every fourteen year old’s dream: dating the perfect combination of a cursed prince, a tortured artist, and an evil genius on a redemption-arc. She is just as enamoured with him as he is with her, and I think it’s beautiful. 🦚🐉

[yuwuta]

i loooooove homewrecker megumi so much you have no clue 😵 this is also a pipeline to toxic ex! Megumi >.<

He listens to 'boy is mine' by Ariana Grande n 'kill bill' by SZA and immediately starts thinking of you. Just all that listening/ lecturing from gojo n toji he must've gotten growing up completely wrapped his perception of relationships.

you two were dating in his mind long before he asked you out and date farrrr longer than what you think because he doesn't count (-all-) the times you've broken up

ok so here’s the thing i’m really bad at envision any kind of exes/ex-relationship with 90% of the jjk boys because there’s no… there’s no getting out of that LOL you’re locked in for life with them. most of them would, quite literally, rather die than break up 

the exception to this in my head, personally, is toji. he’s like, the fun ex to have around. you two can joke about how he’s been inside of you, and how you know he drinks tea with his pinky up but also be completely platonic. there’ll always be a funny kind of sexual and romantic history, but if you need a cheeky friend in your life, keeping toji around is the way to go. also if you ever just truly want a one-off hookup, he’s your guy

but megumi and infidelity… goes a bit too hand in hand i fear. especially megumi as your best friend… he couldn’t care if your current boyfriend lives or dies, so there is no moral weight on his shoulder knowing or acting on being in love with you. him being in love with you/dating in his head so true… you are not just single to him if you’re in a relationship with someone else, you are, inevitably, going to choose him and honestly, he’s getting tired of waiting for you to realize that he’s right for you; no matter how good of a match your boyfriend might be for you, the simple truth is megumi is a better match. you can realize that on your own, your boyfriend can realize that for himself, or megumi can step in and help you <3 

[cateyesinlove]

The Pipeline of Enemies to Lovers

Dear Gentle reader,

What a turbulent journey we have experienced together through these years.

As many who have ears have come to learn there was a break-in to the place that many have claimed to be my lair of cruelty and lies, the office was marked as vacant in The palace newspaper building, and said office was trashed and searched from floor to ceiling but rest assured nothing was found since my snake liar resides elsewhere.

It will take more than a couple of trespassers to unmask this author, I do have to applaud Mr. Colin Bridgerton for his remarkable job investigating me such a good job I almost didn't catch on but MR. Bridgerton have you not heard? Those who play with fire tend to burn and you're getting too close to this flame.

Give it your best Mr. Bridgerton, I encourage you after all who could be afraid of little old me?

Let the games begin.

Lady Whistledown is an anonymous journalist who has impacted the society of Mayfair and most of the country with its controversial pieces on high public figures from politicians to celebrities. Journalist Colin Bridgeton could not be more fed up with Lady Whistledown who Colin thinks is a disgrace for journalists out there; He can admit she has done some- SOME remarkable stuff but then she would immediately start talking about Daphne and her relationship, Anthony's reputation, Penelope's achievements and mock them and of course taunt him and get under his skin but when he finds her it's done for her, he will expose her.

This is a small preview of my story for Bridgerton!

Colin and Penelope have been friends forever and went to college together, they both wanted to be authors but Colin found his vocation in Journalism and is happy with his Career.

Penelope on the other hand got trapped in the world of editing being so talented at it. Since she isn't one to take space in a room for herself she just went with it and here she is still, she has a massive secret no one knows but a couple of people are aware of this including her Boss Agatha Danbury, owner of the newspaper she works for both as Penelope Featherington and Lady Whistledown.

Daphne is the Best PR agent currently, she has taken her career to the next level by saving the career of a massive star who happens to be her ex-boyfriend, who also happened to break her heart after cheating.

Anthony is a criminal attorney who is rather famous for his brutal court presence and for the fact that he doesn't lose, ever.

Except when he is disputing with attorney Miss Sharma, a defense attorney who seems to get all the cases that Anthony gets.

You know the contenders, now in the words of Lady Whistledown; Let the games begin.

[catchthewindd]

these eyes (part one) - hugh grant

two ex best friends. one party. lots of alcohol. what could go wrong?

you had an intense love/hate relationship with one hugh john mungo grant. an intense relationship, in that you loved to hate him.

the pipeline of childhood friends to adulthood enemies is not uncommon by any means, but hugh and your’s situation was by all means the definition of the word. uncommon. for in fact, you two were on the best of terms just last year. that is, until “the incident”.

“the incident”, or “that one time hugh made out with my best friend right after i confessed my feelings to him” as you like to refer to it as, absolutely shattered you. and on your birthday of all days? definitely a cad-like move on his part.

yet here you are. another year, another birthday, another excuse to cry over him. except you won’t- or you’re trying not to, anyway. you are totally over him. he’s an asshole. he quite literally ruined your life.

needless to say, he’s not invited to your birthday dinner. neither is his girlfriend: your ex best friend.

who is invited, is jamie. jamie is a sweet guy you met at work, who you think has taken a shining to you. you’re starting to warm up to him yourself, but your (unfortunately) unresolved feelings for hugh have annoyingly been getting in the way. you plan on fixing that tonight.

hugh has hurt you. the fact of the matter is, it’s time to move on. you have a perfect new suitor in jamie, it’d be foolish to let him slip away from you.

—

it’s finally party time and guests are showing up in abundance. laughter fills your usually-silent apartment, and the snack food you had set out 20 minutes ago already seems to be gone. it’s as though you’d forgotten you had invited this many people!

the party goes on as parties do, you mingle with the guests, and let them all serenade you with birthday wishes and compliments. you drink. a lot. and with dinner time fast approaching, you make it a mission to seek out jamie. surely he must have arrived by now?

as you walk through the sea of people in your living room in attempt to find jamie, you are caught off guard by a seedy blonde with ringlet curls. you’ve seen those curls before. those curls surely weren’t invited to your birthday soirée. and to your utmost shock and despair, those seedy ringlet curls had brought their fuckwit fluffy brunette boyfriend to match. she spoke with utmost confidence, “darling! so good to see you, it’s been far too long. you remember hugh, of course?

dumbfounded, you had to make a quick escape- so that’s exactly what you did, finding shelter in your room. you couldn’t face this strange reality, not now, not today. it was your birthday! this was not part of the plan!

but instead of being greeted with lonesome bliss, you saw jamie foraging around your things. he looked up at you with sad eyes. knowing eyes. you didn’t even find reason to question his whereabouts, you simply ran over to him and melted. crying into his shoulder, letting your perfectly applied birthday makeup run down your face and onto his shirt sleeve. he didn’t ask for an explanation of your sorrow, he only held you and comforted you through your time of need. jamie was so perfect for you. he was everything you could ever want in a man.

yet you felt nothing. in fact, your tears only amplified from it. this incredibly sweet, handsome, doting man was right in front of you. holding you as you broke down. yet your heart was still attached to the absolute douchebag downstairs.

once again needing to flee, you apologized to jamie profusely and swiftly left his embrace. you were running out of “safe” spaces- your apartment had only so many rooms. maybe it was logic, or maybe it was the alcohol, but you soon found yourself fully opening the already half opened bathroom door. desperate times call for desperate measures. letting out a sigh and slamming the door behind you, you sunk to your knees in another sob. at this point, party guests were surely confused to where their host had gone, and likely even more confused as to why they kept hearing loud sobbing coming from the bathroom, only breaking cries to shout a profanity or two every now and then. you were a wreck in there, so much so that it wasn’t until 10 minutes after your less-than-graceful entry to the bathroom that you realized you weren’t alone. once again, a pair of sad, knowing eyes looked at you. but these eyes didn’t belong to jamie.

these eyes belonged to hugh.

[solanumflare]

okayyy, character profiles for the actor au are almost finished and I'm working on some designs!! going to get the last two basic character information posts out today >:D

so, mikoto! he's the host of the arcana system (a few of which's members will be featured in the actor au), friends with almost every one of the other actors online by sheer accident, and a freelance artist. he worked at a graphic design company for maybe a few months after graduating college and IMMIDIATELY gave up on it because the stress and long work hours were killing him. personality-wise he's super similar to his character, except he would probably not take shit from his boss (seeing as he quit when that happened) and is a whole lot less clueless.

he initially didn't want to audition for the experiment at all, but a number of his headmates who thought it would be reaaaally funny to do it ended up going to the audition anyhow. mikoto's sheer and utter confusion when he came back to front during the audition time is what won him the role, which is probably the funniest way it ever could have happened. he's desperately trying to get the milgram staff to please use less outdated language and ideas about plurality and systemhood (and it is not really working.)

mikoto knows most of the other actors online because he's made a tarot deck themed after basically every interest and fandom possible and the others have all managed to stumble upon them and strike up a friendship with him after that. he's very good at introducing the others and getting them to be interested in each others' interests!! though he did get haruka to be friends with yuno, which set him on the horror pipeline pretty fast and is going...interestingly.

and now I'm just going to have a section for the most commonly-featured of mikoto's headmates in the au!

john is mikoto's boyfriend and he's pretty cool. he went by a number of placeholder names and hadn't figured out one he really liked until, funnily enough, es calling him john during milgram. that's his name now. he's stolen it. he's really protective of the system, but not so much so that he'll stop them from doing things if the funniness value outweighs potential dangers. he is a big fan of old hack-and-slash jrpgs and of scrolling on tumblr for hours on end.

rui is pretty much just some troublemaker. his name is short for warui (very casual way of saying "my bad" / "my fault") because he has to say it constantly after his antics rope other people in. he likes telling people that ddlc is a normal dating sim. he's a really good actor and is probably the best at impersonating his headmates (and absolutely uses this for deviousness purposes.) he is a fan of crocheting little creatures also. he does that a LOT and gives them to the other actors in a rare moment of kindness that has no ulterior prank motive behind it.

the kid is just some kid. she doesn't have a name yet. she likes hanging out with amane and egging any and all of the pranksters' antics on. she's here to watch the world burn and eat caramel popcorn the whole time.

[pupcarisi]

Any non-nsfw trans man Sonny headcanons? Just out of curiosity 👀👀

this made me realise a lot of the trans headcanons i have here are mostly nsfw OOPSSS (no complains ofc i love that my anons encourage my freak) but yes!!! fun fun fun love this

but also... before i get into my headcanons below the cut, i just wanted to add: HAPPY PRIDE to my fellow trans friends‼️🙌🏳️‍⚧️ whether you are out or closeted, you definitely deserve all the love and support!!!!!! and that i hope you stay safe especially with whatever fucked up things is happening in this world 🫂 and here's to wishing for brighter days for all of us 🙏

- tbh my fav timeline for trans!sonny is like in his late teens because then it gets mixed with all the ANGST. like when you have a religious upbringing you tend to start questioning when you're older and especially once you get exposed to the Outside world

- was in HEAVYYYY DENIAL about him being trans. countless of prayers and breakdowns, desperately asking for the feelings to go away because it makes his life and relationships so much more complicated

- he started on low dose testosterone without telling any of his family members because he didn't know how to break the news. he's heard some bad things from people at church about transgender people so he's EXTRA worried how everyone would react to him coming out BUT he literally could not stand looking at himself without feeling insanely dysphoric.

- when his voice starts dropping noticably they ask him questions like "are you sick, kid? you got a cold?" and he's just like... "yeah...? 😀"

- he definitely had like BAD acne from starting testosterone at first but because he had so many sisters, they taught him how to take care of his skin.... so hence he doesn't have too many breakouts or scars

- also he SMELLS!!!!!! literally sooo damn stinky and it doesn't help that he gets stupidly sweaty. doesn't realise how bad it was until his sisters started pointing it out. only THEN does he start taking his hygiene seriously

- he does testosterone shots into his thigh but he's SO anxious about it. has a full proper routine that he follows strictly and keeps his stuff neatly in a case. his pain tolerance is low so he has to ice his thigh and warm up the testosterone vial to make it less painful. also, he buys kids plasters with like superheros, cool hotwheel cars or firefrucks on them as a small reward for being brave!!!!

- historically, he had more girlfriends (even pre-transition, he had always been bisexual). but only as he started to grow into himself and age, he started to date a few men but it never went well for him :-/ (UNTIL he meets rafael ofc xx rafael the best boyfriend ever)

- unfortunately, he dabbled into the pipeline of playing into the horrible cis straight man persona because he wanted to pass off as stealth for safety reasons. he had always wanted to be part of the justice system, but knew it's going to be TOUGH trying to blend in. this phase lasts for a LONG time because he got way too locked in...... but eventually he gets out of this Mindset (or at least... tries his best)

- buys those products CLEARLY just marketed to men's simple brains despite being horrible products.... like 2-in-1 shampoo, MENS facial wash, deodorant etc. and it's such a bad habit. when he gets together with rafael, rafael nearly collapses when he sees the products sonny uses in his bathroom....

- that early season 16 moustache was him trying to see if people would take him more seriously as a man with facial hair (the answer is no, obviously... because many people are not a fan of it. I AM THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!)

ALSO i had saved this tiktok i LOVEDDDD and usually leave a link to the actual video to give traffic to the original creator but i think they deleted their account because i couldn't find it <//33 but it's so good ugh it hit my feelings that i need you to also see it

[luffythinker]

Ah man, can i tell you about my KiriKami/Monoma & platonic Bakugo?

Ok so at first Bakugo hates Monoma but he comes around to being his friend after the last war, Monoma saw him kick the bucket so i think they are allowed to be friends after that. Monoma and Bakugo became friends he visited him in the hospital to apologize in his own way for the sports fes thing but Bakugo tells him not to and they just have a moment together

like this doesn't matter but he feels bad about it now and they seemed like they were friends in the endgame, Monoma using Bakugo's quirk to make explosions for their graduation cause his arm is messed up

Now, Kirishima and Kaminari they were dating like it was a bro thing but it evoled one day and the classmates were like "are you guys dating??" and they were like "No? i don't think so?" and one day Kaminari asked Kirishima if they could kiss MAYBE THEY WERE PLAYING SEVENMINUTES IN HEAVEN AND GOT LOCKED IN THE CLOSET TOGETHER? or maybe they were just sitting in one of their rooms together and Denki is just thinking real hard about "do me and Kirishima really look like we're dating???" and he needed to confirm it.

They kiss and it's magical so they start dating

Monoma and Kirishima have this weird relationship of Monoma keeps actively getting on his nerves and is really the only person practically on the planet who can make a nice guy like Kirishima truly mad. This somehow leads to him coming over to the 1-A dorms alot and this is mistake number 1 cause he starts going in Kirishima's room and one thing leads to another one day he wakes up in Kirishima's bed with Denki and Kiri and it's like huh, cause we are a poly now.

Monoma is just a snooty Bakugo so i would like to think of their dynamic as so cause Monoma/Kiri is just KRBK when you think about it, Bakugo and Monoma are so the same, they need somebody to make mention of certain subjects to get the ball rolling for them to speak, like "I don't need your help but since you offered i wont turn it down" is what Monoma would say while Bakugo would say "YOU VOLUNTEERED I WONT STOP YOU"

same thing another font.

i don't know if anyone as ever spoken about KamiBaku hear but i think Monoma and Kaminari would get along well enough to keep the relationship stabled but it's mostly Kiri dating two guys who aren't really dating eachother but they still like are romantically alright with kissing and being labeled as so relationshipwise.

Bakugo's is the best friend but he's like platonic with them all.

He and they are perfectly ok with kissing either of them on the mouth or anywhere on the face or hands. Monoma was not on board at first but he got used to it when he became friends with Bakugo but Bakugo isn't going out go out of his way to kiss Monoma out of the blue at first if he just felt like it

Bakugo isn't in it he's just the platonic friend

do you see my vision?

anon i read this several times and woah i can see your vision

okay so katsuki and monoma being friends is something i have been thinking about this week, something about monoma seeing bakugo dying and not even being able to blink or take his eyes away from it all really changes his brain chemistry. it starts slow, but with the end of the war monoma just cant help but to have at least some empathy for him, so it starts with that until they eventually become proper friends, which means he's more around the 1A dorm

as for kirikami i love their friends to lovers pipeline, I'm so down for the idea that they just date without knowing and everyone is like ??? bros yall dating . and they're pikachu face :O cause woah they really are, so they just continue it because it feels good and it makes a lot of sense.

and for the poly with monoma, i can see it, i really do, but like you said i don't think monoma and denki would be boyfriends themselves, like they hold hands and all but its like they are dating Kirishima more than dating each other, they still have couples dates and throuple dates depending on the vibe !! i also loooove the idea that one day monoma just wakes up in bed with them, cause it implies probably some fighting leading to sex which is so on brand for someone like monoma lmao

so yeah i totally see that and now i wish i could read some more about them

[g3nd3rflu1db1tch]

My girlfriend doesn’t remember this but the way we started dating is quite literally an enamies to friend to lovers pipeline.

Said pipeline goes as follows

In 6th grade math class we had to do an assignment with a partner and my favorite person happened to be in that class so obviously I was gonna pair up with her, but she had decided to do it with somebody else instead. My autistic 11 year old self thought of this as a rejection and so I didn’t bother trying to find somebody else to partner up with.

Well doing the assignment myself wasn’t an option for some reason so the teacher tried to pair me up with the only other kid that didn’t have a partner. But because this person wasn’t me favorite person I couldn’t work with them. So I threw a fit and was sent to the little side room that the classroom had to fill out a “green sheet” (basically a behavior sheet).

So I did that and then sulked under the table because what else was I to do. About half way through the class the teacher being the kid in with the paper and leaves us to it. Despite how much I hated it I worked with my now mortal enemy (at least in my mind) to complete the paper. At the end of class we leave and go about our lives (and the teacher ripped up the green sheet so like what was even the point of having me do it wtf miss Gardner)

I ignore the kid in the halls because I am incapable of letting go of anything and for some reason I saw the fact that the teacher forced us to work together as their fault. Covid hits, school closes, Covid more or less ends, school reopens and the kid is in my choir class.

Time has passed so I’m more or less Indifferent to their existence in my space. My friends become friends with them tho so over the course of a month or so I become friends with them. Then in November my boyfriend at the time tells me that my now girlfriend has a crush on me. My bf was poly and so our relationship was kind of an open deal so after class I decided to ask the person about it.

WELL APPARENTLY WHILE I HAD MY HEADPHONES IN BEFORE TALKING TO THEM ABOUT IT THEY STRAIGHT CONFESSED TO ME AND I JUST DIDNT HEAR IT. SO HERE I AM LIKE AN ASSHOLE LIKE A MINUTE AFTERWARDS GOING “hey so, Kodi said you have a crush on me. Is that true?” AND THIS ABSOLUTE SAINT JUST GOES “yeah. I just told you that”

So anyways like the idiot who didn’t know I was aromantic yet I was at the time I asked them if they wanted to date. They say yes, we start dating, a year later she tells me she’s trans, nada bing bada boom I have a girlfriend with a gorgeous flower name (Dahlia), she has a fucking idiot as a partner and life’s all good.

Then I decided to tell my best friend (the favorite person from 6th grade the worked with somebody else forcing me to work with my now gf [thanks Janie couldn’t have done it without you]) about the whole story and this mf says “oh so like real life enemies to lovers. Your love story is a fanfic trope”.

And oh my god.

I both hate and love that fact with all my heart

(Dahlia my love if you see this I’m sorry I was such a cunt in 6th grade)

[grigori77]

2023 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)

30.  SICK – the year’s first real horror cinema surprise was also one of its VERY FIRST standouts period, a brilliant little streaming sleeper from Peacock which snuck in under the radar but EFFORTLESSLY captured my attention AND the darker parts of my imagination.  Best of all, though, it was SO COOL to see legendary revisionist horror screenwriter Kevin Williamson return to the “big screen” again after spending so long plying his trade on TV – I was VERY MUCH the target audience for Scream when it came out, I just ATE UP his delicious post-modern deconstruction of the slasher genre and its subsequent follow-ups (although Robert Rodriguez’ The Faculty, his fantastic take on alien invasion movie tropes, remains my very favourite of Willaimson’s creations to date), even if it did lead to a fresh sub-genre which, paradoxically, became increasingly tired and toothless as the years progressed.  In the end, I think it’s probably A GOOD THING he took a step back – he just needed a chance to rethink things and find a fresh angle to come at the genre … and BY THE GODS has he ever found one with THIS.  Interestingly, for Williamson at least, the Pandemic couldn’t have come along at a better time, giving him fertile ground indeed in which to grow a particularly potent darkly comic slasher which EASILY lives up to his masterworks.  Taking place in the early days of the original outbreak, when the first Lockdown was just starting, infection alerts and self-isolation were only just becoming a major thing and everybody was PANICKING over how much they really DIDN’T yet know about what was REALLY going on, the setting was already ripe for some pretty intense, chaotic storytelling … so adding a brutal serial killer with a penchant for killing off the idiots who flagrantly flaunted the COVID safety restrictions and purposefully went out of their way to pretend things were the same as normal was a slick move.  The main bulk of the narrative revolves around three college kids in some nondescript part of the US – Parker (Blockers and The Society’s Gideon Adlon), a well-off party girl who’s looking to make some major changes in her life, and her best friend Miri (up-and coming R&B artist Beth Million), who go to Parker’s family’s expansive country home to quarantine in comfort, and Parker’s newly-EX boyfriend DJ (Man of Steel and Teen Wolf’s Dylan Sprayberry), who turns up ostensibly to try and patch things up between them but may simply have come for an opportunistic hook-up – who are targeted by a killer who subsequently hunts them during a night of fraught tension, smartly staged stalk-and-slash set-pieces and a hefty dose of Williamson’s characteristic jet black-but-enjoyably geeky sense of humour, which is this time pitched to a particularly sharp edge of biting finger-on-the-pulse satire given the rich socio-political real-life material he’s able to mine here.  The small but extremely potent cast are all BRILLIANT, although the film really is DOMINATED by Adlon, who once again shows that she’s destined for GREAT THINGS INDEED in the future with a brilliant turn that runs an impressive gamut from irresponsibly entitled brat to vitally determined survivor once circumstances have fully driven her to take proper responsibility for her childish behaviour, making for a compellingly sympathetic young heroine we find easy enough to root for.  It probably helps the man behind the camera is John Hyams (All Square, Alone), son of legendary genre-hopping director Peter Hyams, who shows he’s definitely inherited his dad’s impressive skill by crafting a lean, tight and precise slice of thrilling cinema which takes full advantage of a tight budget and (mostly) a single location, which results in a brilliant little comedy horror gem that I’d heartily recommend folk hunt down on streaming, or at the very least keep in mind for Halloween …

29.  HOW TO BLOW UP A PIPELINE – it’s always nice when a sharp little indie banger sneaks in under the radar to place on one of my lists for the year, and this impressive critically acclaimed underdog thriller definitely shaped up as one of the year’s most memorable examples.  It’s a very low-fi, gritty down-and-dirty procedural slice-of-life thriller about a motley collection of eco-terrorists banding together to sabotage an oil pipeline in West Texas, focusing almost entirely on this core group of disillusioned youths played by eight uniformly EXCEPTIONAL actors each handing in genuine (ahem) dynamite performances.  Ariele Barer (Marvel’s Runaways), The Revenant’s Forrest Goodluck, American Honey’s Sasha Lane and Marcus Scribner (probably best known as the voice of She-Ra & the Princesses of Power’s Bow) are the undeniable stand-outs here, but all of these kids are ON FIRE throughout, showing they’ve got truly BRIGHT futures ahead of them indeed, while Irene Bedard (Smoke Signals) also impresses in a supporting turn as Joanna, an FBI agent who may be onto their plans … the film bounces between the varying points of view amongst the characters, gradually unveiling their motivations to commit a morally complex terrorist act through a series of scattered flashbacks punctuating the planning, execution and aftermath of the bombing itself, with writer-director Daniel Goldhaber (Cam, here co-adapting Andreas Maim’s incendiary non-fiction novel with Ariele Barer herself and Cam’s co-writer Jordan Sjol) weaving a suitably taut and atmospheric slowburn path throughout the flawlessly executed narrative, the film brilliantly building its wire-taut tension to a rewardingly cathartic climax which is as provocative as the challenging subject matter.  This is a film that asks some VERY BIG QUESTIONS and delivers some suitably complicated and rightfully TROUBLING answers, a razor sharp piece of indie cinema which definitely deserves the critical acclaim and cult hit status it’s earned …

28.  COCAINE BEAR – gods, if EVER there was a true story that seemed TAILOR MADE for cinema, it’s the bizarre tale of Cokey the Bear, AKA Pablo Eskobear, an American black bear that died after ingesting 34 keys of cocaine that were dumped out of a smuggler’s cargo plane over the Tennessee wilderness in 1985.  That being said, it’s not a huge surprise it’s taken Hollywood SO LONG to actually get it made, perhaps it’s just TOO CRAZY a concept for it to have been made before now.  Ultimately, the film takes A LOT of liberties with the truth to instead craft an entertaining story, but in the end that’s definitely the smart move, simply using the concept as a springboard to craft a gloriously batshit horror comedy with a JET BLACK sense of humour populated by an offbeat collection of quirky characters.  Keri Russell stars as Sari, a nurse and single mother who has to brave the woods in order to find her young daughter Dee Dee (The Florida Project’s Brooklyn Prince), who’s playing hooky in the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest with her best friend Henry (Sweet Tooth’s Christian Convery) right when Cokey goes on her drug-fuelled homicidal rampage; meanwhile, recently bereaved widower Eddie (Solo’s Alden Ehrenreich) and his best friend Daveed (Straight Outta Compton’s O’Shea Jackson Jr.) are two drug cartel enforcers reluctantly scouring the area in search of their lost product at the behest of Eddie’s overbearing St Louis drug kingpin father Syd White (the late, great Ray Liotta, to whom the film is dedicated); and then there’s hapless but dogged Knoxville detective Bob (the venerable Isaiah Whitlock Jr.), who knows he can bust White if he can just get his hands on the evidence.  All three parties converge in the park while the bear wreaks merry havoc in Elizabeth Banks’ third film as a director (after Pitch Perfect 2 and the CRIMINALLY mistreated and overlooked Charlie’s Angels reboot), which looks like it might FINALLY get people to start taking her serious BEHIND the camera as well as IN FRONT of it – this is a proper laugh-riot of a film which is also delightfully non-PC, and it’s liberally peppered with impressively blood-soaked effects to thrill the gore-hounds as well as an impressively well-realised digital animal character in the eponymous drug-addled beastie.  The cast are brilliant too, Russell and Ehrenreich both particularly impressing in their respective nominal lead roles while the kids are EXCEPTIONAL (particularly Convery, getting to gleefully overact as one of the most hyperactive-yet-not-irritating kids I’ve ever seen on screen), and it’s both enriching and a little heartbreaking to watch Liotta once again act his socks off in one of his very last film roles; that being said, several of the scenes are thoroughly STOLEN by the irrepressible Margo Martindale, who’s clearly having the time of her life in one of her most gloriously OTT roles as foul-mouthed, much put-upon park Ranger Liz.  Ultimately this is a horror comedy where the balance is definitely tipped very much in favour of the laughs over the scares, but that’s fine, because with a concept this batshit bonkers we were always gonna find it too funny to ever be remotely scary, so the end result is one of THE FUNNIEST MOVIES I ran across in the cinema all year, rightfully revelling in its own inherent irreverence.  It’s just about the most fun you could ever expect it to be, which is just what you want from a movie about a cocaine bear, really …

27.  THE FLASH – oh boy … yeah, this one is gonna be a COMPLICATED talk.  This was one TROUBLED project from day one, from the major shake-ups surrounding the Joss Whedon-compromised Justice League film and the subsequent mess THAT unleashed, through the whole conflicting debate over Zack Snyder’s original vision for the DCEU, and then the eventual collapse of the Cinematic Universe itself, this film, originally entitled Flashpoint (which personally I like A WHOLE LOT more, actually, since it really does pay DIRECT reference to the actually storyline they went with) went through a whole collection of incarnations and reiterations and, for a while, it was starting to look like we might NEVER see it hit our cinema screens at all … and that’s without even mentioning star Ezra Miller’s ongoing legal troubles and essential CANCELLING after their continued outrageous, unacceptable off-set behaviour, which looked set to torpedo the film all on its own.  Honestly, I have to admit I was MYSELF a little wary going in, not because of these particular problems but more just the prospect of what I would actually do if, in spite of all this, I actually still LIKED IT … unfortunately for me, that was VERY MUCH the case, which is why we’re here in the first place. 

But I must forge on, and so I’m gonna just take this film on ITS OWN face value and ignore the external problems … at least until THE END of the review … because The Flash is, actually, pretty fucking GREAT.  Barry Allen (Miller) is finally coming into his own as a fully-fledged member of the Justic League, even if this does frequently mean he’s essentially cleaning up the extreme messes left behind when Batman/Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) gets involved in particularly BIG potential world-shattering events, as brilliantly illustrated in the film’s suitably SPECTACULAR opening set-piece, which does a BEAUTIFUL job of not only letting us know EXACTLY what this incarnation of the Flash is actually capable of, but also revealing Barry’s own distinctly unique, offbeat and, frankly, really rather ADORABLE personal style of superheroism.  Then the plot itself kicks off when Barry’s father Henry (Ron Livingstone), serving life in prison for the wrongfully-convicted murder of Barry’s mother Nora (Pan’s Labyrinth’s wonderful Maribel Verdu), sees his latest (and, it looks like, FINAL) appeal fall flat due to a crucial new piece of evidence turning out to be useless, and Barry decides he's had enough of ignoring a particularly potent aspect of his superpowers –

the ability to run SO FAST that he can actually GO BACK IN TIME!!!  So he races back to the day of his mother’s death and tweaks circumstances so that she survives, only for Barry to then get punted off track before he can return to the present by an unknown entity within “the Speedforce” which then lands him in 2013, just days before Earth’s invasion by the hostile Kryptonian forces of General Zod (Michael Shannon), as seen in Man of Steel.  Still with us so far?  Yeah, well it gets EVEN MORE complicated, cuz it turns out that, while his mum is now STILL ALIVE, Barry hasn’t got his powers in this universe, which means that he has to reform the Justice League himself in THIS timeline in order to defeat Zod.  Except that there are FAR MORE consequences to messing with time than Barry ever took into account set to make things all but insurmountably complicated for him to succeed … beyond this we’re getting into DANGEROUS spoiler territory, beyond the fact that these new developments give rise to whole fresh and very complicated ideas of alternative universes somewhat akin to what the MCU’s already started experimenting with (which is also, actually, something that the DC comics universe does ALL THE BLOODY TIME), which gives rise to whole new incarnations of beloved characters from the established DCEU, some of which HAVE already been revealed in the trailers and beyond, but others not so much, so … yeah, anyway, it’s a glorious MESS of a narrative, but somehow this film does a REALLY IMPRESSIVE job of navigating this jumble in an impressively coherent and breezy way that ultimately makes this a whole lot of fun to watch, actually.  Of course, the lion’s share of the praise for this HAS TO go to screenwriter Christina Hodson (Birds of Prey & the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) for wrangling the UNHOLY MESS of development done for the previous incarnations into an actual WORKING script, which was then brought to life with suitably brave and adventurous SKILL by director Andy Muschietti (Mama and It Chapter One and Two), but the uniformly EXCEPTIONAL cast shoulder a good deal of that responsibility too –

Miller may be problematic in real life, but there can be no denying that he is FUCKING BRILLIANT in his signature role, crafting a hyperactive, ultra-awkward social misfit of a superhero that us various underdog kids just can’t help rooting for, while it is a MASSIVE pleasure to get to see MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE Batman return as this AU’s altered version of Bruce Wayne, the legendary Michael Keaton himself again proving why he really is THE VERY BEST VERSION of the character out there (and I will accept NO ARGUMENT AT ALL about that, I swear you can all FIGHT ME on this particular hill upon which I am determined to DIE if I must), and Livingstone and Verdu bring an IMMENSE amount of pathos to their characters throughout which makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR why Barry tries SO HARD to save them both, and it’s also great fun getting to see Michael Shannon back as the Big Bad here again, I always really liked this spectacular scenery-chewing version of Zod.  For me, though, the biggest win here has to be The Young & the Restless’ Sasha Calle, making her big screen debut as the most impressive and DCEU-consistent incarnation of Kara Zor-El, aka SUPERGIRL, that we could ever have hoped for, she’s a truly AWESOME creation, EASILY as badass as Henry Cavill’s Supes but also a good deal more complex as a character too.  Ultimately it’s a shame that circumstances mean that we likely won’t get to see more of her in future projects, much like Keaton’s returning Batman, as they’re definitely the unexpected heart and soul of the film, easily delivering in the most impressively iconic set-pieces and memorable character beats.  Indeed, this is SO BLOODY BRILLIANT all round as a film – from its spectacular action sequences, through its frequent gleefully anarchic screwball humour, to a variety of impressive jaw-dropping game-changer twists in the narrative – that the fact that the DCEU itself is officially over and all of this means PRECISELY ZERO in the face of where it’s all going in James Gunn’s incoming Cinematic Universe reboot makes this feel all the more ultimately pointless, which lends any viewing a bittersweet aftertaste no matter HOW enjoyable it all is.  I mean granted, it’s NOT perfect (there is, famously, some pretty clunky CGI that ALMOST takes you out of the experience, especially in the climactic sequence when we see the timelines start to collide), but then very few of the DCEU movies HAVE BEEN anyway, and this one still works just fine for what it is.  So it may not have any actual VALUE for the series moving forward, but it’s still a really great movie that MORE THAN deserves to be seen for its own merits, and I highly recommend you give it a chance anyway.  At least Gunn and co have seen the sense to keep Muschietti onboard for their reboot (namely helming the new DCU’s Batman reboot The Brave & the Bold), and if they’ve any more sense they’ll bring Christina Hodson back for more too …

26.  THE EQUALIZER 3 – Director Antoine Fuqua and Denzel Washington have had a long and extremely fruitful working relationship, from their earliest collaboration on his best-known film, Training Day (which finally landed Washington his long-overdue best actor Oscar, although many of us agree that it SHOULD have gone to him a few years prior for The Hurricane), through the EXTREMELY impressive remake of the classic western The Magnificent Seven, to their most lucrative and long-running collab to date, a series of feature adaptations of a cult classic TV thriller show from the 80s which has now reached its THIRD instalment and STILL seems to be running at full steam with no sign of flagging.  Indeed, this just might be THE BEST ONE YET … Washington once again effortlessly delivers a coolly sophisticated, often understated but still typically deeply nuanced turn as Robert McCall, the former special-forces soldier turned SOCOM operative who reemerged from self-imposed faked-death-retirement in the first film in order to deliver bloody retribution for the brutal assault of a young girl, only to subsequently find a new calling as a freelance guardian angel for the weak and powerless who have nowhere else to turn with a dangerous problem.  This time round his antiheroic adventures has brought him to Italy, where the ill-fated end of his latest operation sees him near death from a bullet in his back, being nursed back to health in the remote coastal town of Altamonte.  It’s here that he finally finds that true peace that’s so long eluded him as he recovers from his injuries, but he finds himself ultimately dragged back into the fray when a

Camorra crime outfit from Naples, looking to expand their operation to new territories, starts trying to exploit the townsfolk that Robert has grown so close to beyond their breaking point … ultimately this is a more slowburn, understated affair than the previous two films, but that actually proves to be this instalment’s greatest strength, allowing us to get closer to our Equalizer than ever before, as well as the people he’s driven to help, which makes this BY FAR the most emotionally investing film in the trilogy, and makes us root for Robert like never before as we wait for him to FINALLY bring the pain to these Mafioso thugs.  That dam-break, when they finally come, is as viscerally intense as we’ve come to expect from the series, but thanks to the additional groundwork this time round the kills and cathartic payback delivered feel more satisfyingly substantial, while the film’s greatest pleasures ultimately lie more in the anticipation as Fuqua cranks the tension tighter and we edge further forward in our seats.  Once again, the supporting cast all shine through, with Andrea Scarduzio (Colour On the Cross) giving great bad guy as subtly reptilian Mob boss Vincent Quaranta, ably backed up by Andrea Dodero (Thou Shalt Not Hate) as Vincent’s vicious, jumped up thug of a little brother Marco, while Gaia Scodellaro (CentroVetrine) and Eugenio Mastrandeo (From Scratch) deftly show us what’s so worth fighting for in this town as effervescently friendly local café owner Aminah and Altamonte’s principled but pragmatically fair sole Carabinieri Gio Bonucci; the biggest standout, however, is Dakota Fanning as Emma Collins, the smart and dogged FBI agent who ends up tracking Robert down following his involvement in the opening showdown and uncovers a whole nest of previous overlooked criminal chaos.  At the end of the day though, this is ONCE AGAIN every inch Washington’s film, the erstwhile star clearly enjoying himself immensely in one of the best and most iconic

roles of his career, although this third instalment looks like it might be the last Equalizer with him in the lead since it becomes abundantly clear that it’s looking to wind things up for Robet’s final adventure in a suitably satisfying way.  That being said, there’s definitely room, interest and clear demand for more from both the fanbase AND the creatives here, with the pervading theory being that we may be going back to the early days of McCall’s time with the CIA, in which case the obvious choice moving forward would be to let John David Washington step into his dad’s shoes as young Robert.  In truth it’s the only smart choice …

25.  ANT-MAN & THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA – coming off the back of 2022’s decidedly hit-and-miss big screen slate for Disney and Marvel’s current flagship property, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, THIS past year’s first MCU release had A LOT of eyes on it.  Gods know, I definitely had TWO OF ‘EM … and it probably wasn’t the best title to be laying all this weight on, either – the Ant-Man movies in particular have always been a bit of a marmite property within the larger universe, with as many detractors as fans, which definitely didn’t help things here.  If this turned out to be third time unlucky for Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang and the rest, it could spell much larger disaster for the MCU overall, or at the very least signify that the cracks are definitely growing beyond the studios’ capacity to patch ‘em up on the run.  So I’ll admit, I went into this one with a whole lot of trepidation … was it unwarranted?  Well, being completely honest … not ENTIRELY.  Tried-and-tested comedy director Peyton Reed’s Ant-Man films have always been a pretty mad collection anyway, as much a full-blown comedy sub-franchise as the Guardians of the Galaxy movies or Thor under Taika Waititi, but even so they still managed to keep ONE FOOT on the ground even while the rest was set EXTENSIVELY in the Quantum Realm, but this one has somewhat jumped the shark.  Granted, part of this film’s particular OTT outlandishness and unabashed WACKINESS is down to narrative necessity – giving too much away plot-wise unfortunately runs the risk of dropping some MASSIVE spoilers, but it’s at least safe to say that the lion’s share of the story takes place ENTIRELY in the Quantum Realm this time, and it’s a place which is A WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT from anything we might have imagined from our very brief visits in Ant-Man & the Wasp and Avengers: Endgame.  For a start, it’s A WHOLE LOT BIGGER than we thought it was, and MUCH more heavily populated by some truly WEIRD SHIT … the film also has some major heavy-lifting to do with regards to setting up the Big Bad for Phase 5 and 6 both – Kang the Conqueror (The Last Black Man In San Francisco and Creed III’s Jonathan Majors), a Multiverse-based Thanos level threat we first encountered (sort of) in 2021’s runaway hit first season of Loki.  This at least is one of the areas in which the movie definitely SUCCEEDED – ultimately problematic as he may have become since the film’s release, Majors at least did a commendable job of establishing one of the franchise’s most interesting and effective supervillains, a near God Tier Bad Guy who’s clearly gonna give the whole Avengers roster a run for their money when they finally come face to face with him (in whatever recast form he ultimately takes).  The plot, such as it is, is pure scrambled bananas, a heavyweight mindfuck it’s best to just DISENGAGE the brain to go with in order to get proper enjoyment

out of – this is definitely a cinematic GUILTY PLEASURE, and trying to take it even remotely seriously immediately draws the eye to a thousand gaping plot-holes and glaring narrative stumbles.  At least the patented stunning, primary coloured visuals, winning sense of humour and cavalcade of delightfully wacky set-pieces (the clone-spawning “probability explosion” sequence is a particularly overblown, super-trippy highlight with an unexpected tear-jerk factor built in) are all fully functional and behaving correctly, and the thoroughly endearing cast all deliver admirably with nary an off-note hint of miscasting – Rudd and Evangeline Lilly (returning as Hope van Dyne AKA the titular Wasp) are both still pitch perfect, while it’s nice to see Michael Douglas and PARTICULARLY Michelle Pfeiffer getting to do a whole lot more this time round as Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne, and the glaring Michael Pena-shaped hole is ALMOST filled by a few other quality comedic turns from the likes of deadpan laugh-MASTER Bill Murray and David Dastmalchian (here returning in a VERY interesting but also very DIFFERENT role to what we’ve seen from him here before), as well as a surprise returning face (ahem) from this trilogy’s past.  Meanwhile, alongside Majors there are other similarly noteworthy series newcomers who make BIG IMPRESSIONS, from Z Nation and The Mandalorian’s Katy O’Brien (who’s been a growing favourite of mine for a little while now), who’s a completely EPIC badass I wanna see A LOT more of in the future as hard-nosed Quantum freedom fighter Jentorra, to Kathryn Newton (Supernatural, Freaky), making the role of Scott’s now (pretty much) full-grown daughter Cassie ENTIRELY her own, and she’s clearly got a MAJOR future ahead of her in the MCU herself now she’s started carving out her own super-powered secret identity (roll on Young Avengers, I say!).  The movie may be another flawed, somewhat unwieldy and occasionally downright CLUNKY beast, but the franchise is still managing to stand up where it counts, and compared to the likes of Thor: Love & Thunder and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever it definitely holds up a good deal better in its own right.  Most of all, though, it’s A WHOLE LOT of pure, unadulterated FUN, which is ultimately exactly what you want from a big primary-coloured superhero blockbuster.  In the end, it still remains to be seen if the MCU can be clawed back from the brink it’s still teetering perilously on the edge of, but despite all that’s still wrong with it, this is at least a VERY SMALL step back in the right direction …

24.  THE PALE BLUE EYE – largely sneaking in under the radar on Netflix to start the New Year off, the latest offering from highly acclaimed indie writer-director Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart, Black Mass, Antlers) is, much as we’d likely expect from such a consistently varied, genre-hopping filmmaker, a strange, unique and deeply intriguing beast of a film.  Adapted from Louis Bayard’s well-received speculative fiction novel about a young Edgar Allan Poe aiding the investigation of a bafflingly macabre murder in the US Military Academy at West Point in the early 1830s.  Christian Bale returns with typical stoic, intense and magnificently brooding megawatt presence for his THIRD leading man tour of duty for Cooper (after Out of the Furnace and Hostiles) as Augustus Landor, a former West Point graduate-turned misanthropic former detective brought in to lead the investigation into the brutal hanging and evisceration (with additional heart-removal) of a young cadet that’s baffling the faculty and local police, which is soon compounded when additional bodies start piling up.  He’s aided in his endeavours by another cadet, the young Poe himself (played to PERFECTION by Harry Potter’s own Harry Melling, continuing his meteoric and deeply impressive rise to prominence with another TOUR-DE-FORCE performance here), while the clues lead to a variety of deeply troubling twists and revelations as well as an intriguing collection of suitably odd and often highly charismatic characters played by the sterling likes of Lucy Boynton, Toby Jones, Simon McBurney and a fascinatingly unusual turn from Robert Duvall, although the real standout here is a truly MAGNIFICENT career-best performance from Gillian Anderson.  Cooper piles on the story’s doom-laden gothic atmosphere to great effect throughout while cranking up the slowburn and deeply uncomfortable suspenseful tension throughout, while the plot is nothing short of MACHIAVELLIAN in its levels of ingenious labyrinthine intelligence, dropping an ultimate denouement that you really have to be paying SERIOUS ATTENTION to see coming, and the production design, costumes, period detail and, most of all, the thoroughly MOODY bleak-midwinter cinematography make for a freezing cold but thoroughly rewarding feast for the eyes for the most discerning film-fanatic.  Altogether Cooper’s delivered another winner, and I hope he continues to make films this good well into the future.

23.  DOOR MOUSE – Avan Jogia may be best known as an actor in fare like Caprica, Zombieland: Double Tap and Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, but his debut feature as a writer-director definitely shows he’s got a lot of potential as a genuine filmmaking talent moving forward.  This is an edgy, offbeat and enjoyably quirky little indie oddity that CLEARLY doesn’t care to play by anyone’s conventional rules, telling its unapologetically DARK and dirty little story the way IT WANTS TO without ever trying to spell its message out for the viewer.  Riverdale’s Hayley Law is, as ever, simply MESMERISING as Mouse, a tough, hard-bitten burlesque dancer looking to make a better life for herself as a comic book creator, only for fate to throw a wrench in the works for her when girls at her club start disappearing under mysterious circumstances.  Her resulting investigation leads to the shocking realisation that they’re being kidnapped into a life of sexual slavery, and it looks like she’s going to have to make a bold and very dangerous choice in order to effect a rescue … as always, Law simply OWNS the screen, powering the story along with equal parts guarded bravado and well-hidden wounded vulnerability, and she’s ably supported by the likes of Keith Powers (Straight Outta Compton) as Mouse’s best friend Ugly, the club’s unassuming but VERY capable bouncer, the great Famke Janssen as Mama, the club’s owner and Mouse’s laconic mother figure, and Jogia himself as her ex-boyfriend, local drug-dealing hood Mooney.  The plot twists and turns with suitably pulpy skill while Mouse’s comic book bleeds into the narrative through striking imagery and quirky little animated episodes, while the film tackles big, dark themes with an unflinching eye and refuses to deliver easy answers, particularly in the cathartic but suitably JET BLACK ending.  This is a hell of a debut for a promising new filmmaking talent, then, and I’d LOVE to spend some more time with Mouse herself if Jogia and Law are willing …

22.  SHAZAM: FURY OF THE GODS – it’s interesting that, at least on here, the DC Cinematic Universe (AKA the DCEU) has managed to stand up so well this past year, especially given the recent MAJOR upheavals that have rocked the franchise as a whole.  Not least because said Universe is essentially about to get hit with a Hard Reset under the guidance of new DC Studios CEO James Gunn, so none of this even MATTERS any more going forward … certainly this fact has NOT been lost on cinemagoers, who were already starting to pull away when Black Adam came out in late 2022 and subsequently seemed content to STAY away IN DROVES for this one, likely waiting to give it a go in the privacy and safety of their own homes once it hit streaming.  In a way this sounded a pre-emptive death knell for the DCEU which I was genuinely sceptical about it recovering from … which is a shame, because 2019’s Shazam! was one of the franchise’s BEST FEATURES, a gleefully anarchic post-modern deconstruction of the overblown superhero antics the franchise largely glorified before while never taking itself particularly seriously but simply playing itself with just the right amount of knowing wink-and-nod.  Even more of a shame, then, that this follow-up has proven to be SUCH a performance TURKEY, because it’s JUST AS GOOD as the first one, taking all the lessons learned from the first movie to heart and delivering more of everything that really WORKED once again while trying something new and fresh to expand on this little corner of the Universe with impressive aplomb and consummate skill. 

Returning director David F. Sandberg (Lights Out) once again delivers in HIGH STYLE and customary spooky flair as he and returning screenwriter Henry Gayden (Earth To Echo, There’s Someone In Your House), along with Fast & Furious franchise lynchpin scribe Chris Morgan, expand on the adventures of coming-of-age young hero Billy Batson (Andi Mack’s Asher Angel) and his (still unnamed) superpowered alter ego (Zachary Levi), alongside his now similarly gifted teenaged foster siblings, as the Daughters of Atlas – Hespera (Helen Mirren), Kalypso (Lucy Liu) and Anthea (Rachel Zegler), a trio of immensely powerful but (somewhat) morally dubious classical Greek goddesses – come to claim their powers for their own in order to rejuvenate the Tree of Life and punish Mankind for its wickedness.  The usual existential high stakes, then.  Angel and Levi are, once again, ON FIRE here, the former star of Chuck in particular once again proving what an undisputable comedic MASTER he is while they both deliver MAGNIFICENTLY in the dramatic moments too, while their returning co-stars and sterling veteran support are once again just as great as before, It’s Jack Dylan Grazer particularly getting to really SHINE this time round in a particularly WEIGHTY role that nonetheless once again manages to utilise his own impressive comedic talents to full effect too, while it’s also GREAT to see This Is Us’ Faith Herman get a much more expanded role this time round as the irrepressible Darla; Djimon Hounsou, meanwhile, also gets a lot more to do as he returns as the enjoyably crabby and pompous Wizard Shazam, who’s none too happy with Billy for breaking the staff last time round and setting this all off in the first place.  The Daughters, meanwhile, are FANTASTIC antagonists, Liu and Mirren clearly enjoying the opportunity to be flamboyant, majestic and over-the-top in proper Shakespearean

style, while Zegler invests “Anne” with a good deal more moral fibre and complexity as the most sympathetic (and ultimately conflicted) of the trio.  Sandberg and co again deliver IN SPADES on the action, atmospherics, gorgeously exotic design and sheer creativity which made the first movie such an unexpected treat, while also delivering more of that winning, sometimes downright SCREWBALL BONKERS humour to keep it entertaining and let you know that, just like its predecessor, this film knows FULL WELL how ridiculous it is and is fully prepared to just OWN IT.  The end result is, ultimately, one of the best of the closing slate of DCEU films, which just makes it even sadder to think that they probably won’t continue the story once the franchise reboots.

21.  GODZILLA MINUS ONE – as much as I LOVE the new efforts of Warner Bros’ impressively robust Monsterverse Expanded Universe to bring the greatest big screen kaiju of them all to life, I am not even REMOTELY surprised that it took a Japanese writer-director to truly get right down to the heart of the character with what feels like the truest, most respectful and, quite simply, VERY BEST big screen reworking of the classic original to date.  Mostly I just count myself lucky I was able to find a showing at my local cinema that I could actually get to – this is definitely one of those features that really does DESERVE to be seen on the BIG screen.  Writer-director Takashi Yamazaki certainly has an impressive track record, having helmed the likes of Space Battleship Yamato, The Great War of Archimedes and Lupin III: The First, but even so, this came somewhat out of the blue to not only become a MASSIVE, runaway hit in Japan but also in foreign markets, particularly blowing away western audiences who are universally praising it as one of THE greatest movies of this decade so far.  All right … from a purely critical point of view, I may not quite think THAT about this, but this IS an EXTREMELY GOOD FILM, Yamazaki guiding an impressively game cast and clearly deeply committed crew to create a work of rare emotional power and uplifting intensity that tells a breathless tale of the unbreakable power of the human spirit even in the face of HORRIFIC cataclysmic events … a theme which has, of course, remained close to the hearts of the Japanese ever since Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which famously directly informed Ishiro Honda’s beloved original.  This time round, Godzilla is a pure, monstrous and thoroughly TERRIFYING force of nature throughout the film, a devastating and unstoppable mutated aberration created by the fallout of America’s H-bombs, which is unleashing unfathomable chaos across post-World War II Japan, leading a band of desperate civilians to take matters into their own hands and attempt a desperate stand to stop the horror before all is lost.  Ryunosuke Kamiki (probably best known for his years of work as one of Studio Ghibli’s key voice actors) proves a compellingly fallible hero as deeply traumatised failed kamikaze pilot Koichi Shikishima, who finds himself battling internal demons even worse than the monster he’s up against in the real world, ably supported by Minami Hanabe (The Great War of Archimedes) as Noriko, the spirited young adoptive mother that Koichi takes in after returning from the war and forms a tight bond with, Hidetaka Yoshiaki (Always: Sunset On Third Street) as Professor Kenji Noda, the former Naval weapons engineer who becomes Koichi’s mentor, and Munetaka Aoki (Rurouni Kenshin) as Sosaku Tachibana, a former Naval fighter mechanic suffering from his own deep-seated traumas after the War.  This is an interesting departure from the classic Kaiju cinema recipe, because while the Big G is definitely a powerful and potent threat that casts a very BIG shadow over events here, Minus One is ultimately less of a monster movie than a movie with a monster IN IT, Yamazaki preferring to focus on the human story and concentrate our attention on the horrors these people have to endure at the unfathomably massive claws of this terrible creature, certainly physical but predominantly mental and emotional.  That’s not to say it ain’t suitably potent in the action stakes, EASILY delivering some suitably THRILLING set-pieces while the creature himself and the chaos he unleashes is portrayed with impressively executed visual effects flair … it’s just that, ultimately, this is a film which is much more of a triumph of GREAT WRITING, peerless direction and awards-worthy performances from an astonishing cast.  In other words, it’s just a really GREAT FILM, period.  Which makes this something TRULY SPECIAL after all, I guess …