#their best friends -> boyfriends pipeline is so good

[incorrect-losers]

about 100% sure I’ve liked all of your Stozier posts and I have no regrets.

Then I cannot possibly have enough of them on my blog bc my love for them is never ending. (Expect a lot more of my boys)

[ur-mousey]

Benzo-Addict ~

- Yandere!Jeffery x F!Reader -

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Part One, Part Three

summary Drugs have always been your friend. A source of courage and tonight's no different. Now it's time to fuck a nerd. Hope your BF understands. 1k warning mature, non-con, hostage situation, abusive relationship cycle

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Oh... You came back. You aren't just a spinless quitter. Perhaps you’re a fucking psychopath. But fuck on, I guess.

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Jeffery had a lot of nervous ticks. He was a time bomb of sorts. And he was imploding at the seams right before your eyes. You noticed it as lab partners when research came out dry or when the hypothesis was proven wrong. But, you kept them noted in the recesses of your mind. Never thinking that you would see today as you do.

He rambled to himself, undiscernible to you. Jeffery picked his teeth with the tip of his knife. Like you'd caught him with his cutesy anime pens not too long ago. He would shake all over doing minuscule tasks and you joked about it with him. You'd wondered, cheekily, how could organizing papers cause someone to tremble more than a leaf?

But, in this case, he was gagging your boyfriend. Seem pretty fucking reasonable now. And you couldn't stop it. You watched. Wrist cleaned of bondage while Cody whipped his head around. It being all he could do. "Fuck off me! And my girl!!" His voice was a visceral growl, hoarse from his prior screeching. "You micro dick ince~ Hmhph."

"Stay silent like a good dog for a sec." Jeffery patted Cody's shoulder. He turned to you with a soft desolate smile. He padded over to you in a mere flash. "Hey you~ I'd told you to sleep, didn't I? It'll help. When I get you home, it'll be like this nightmare never happened."

"W-wh... Why?" You stuttered through the fatigue. The drugs were in the deepest reservoir of your stomach, begging to be felt in a dream. Yet you wheezed at the idea of losing this moment. This might be the last thing you ever see. "Don't hurt him."

Jeffery sighed, "Don't be like that, darling." He nodded towards your boyfriend. "He had it coming. Look at him. He's lookin' back at you." Shakily you looked over Jeffery's frame to see Cody more clearly. He was right, his eyes were on you. "Disgusting, ain't he."

Snot and tears choked him further than the soiled sock could. You'd never seen Cody so helpless. And you'd thought yourself capable of fleeing, but he would remain for dead, and your feet stilled at its iron gates. You've wished him gone a handful of times, but never like this.

"I have a few ideas," Jeffery continued, he gripped your hair, tugging you closer to his chest. "He's a shitty jock and a lowlife dragging you down. You've seen Corpse Party? Maybe I'll cut his tongue up like... Woah oh, easy there."

Every curse came to mind, aimed and sharpened at the back of his skill. You would damn him to hell and father down the pipeline if you could. But, You opted to squirm and whine out of Jeffery's grasp.

His slight hand tremors felt jarring against your scalp. You had held them once. The thought petrified you more so than Cody's muffled mulls.

"Calm down, please. You'd promise yourself that today would be the last, right? I'm giving that to you now!" You flinched at Jeffery's tone. Your eyes are wide and watering. "Don't give me that look. I knew you wouldn't see this from my perspective, but I'm doing this for you!"

You stilled, blanched, and mortified, by Jeffery's words. How would he know? You promised yourself throughout yesterday, Wednesday, and the day before that. You wanted out of this life. Cody wasn't the best. He was a sleaze, as Nicole puts it. But he was your definition of normal.

"That means jack shit," You squealed. The past doesn't matter. That promise doesn't, not at this moment.

Mornings started with arguments. You stoic in the face of him calling you the nastiest of names imaginable. Your insecurity set ablaze with accuracy. He never laid a hand on you. You couldn't say the same for the drywall, littered with the impressions of violent spouts. And Cody would be your most vocal supporter when you're high.

He'd call you the prettiest slut around for miles, rubbing his thumb over the flush of your checks from mystery shots. Cody begged for your lips to be on him constantly. And he desired your hips rocking over his shaft, causing you to spasm. He liked you sensitive. Despite your lack of control, he'd ask you to squeeze your drugged-up pussy around his cock, urging you to squirt down his balls.

Then by morning, he'll start tearing you down again, and you'll realize Cody hardly touches you sober.

It was normal. And each day you promised yourself you'd leave, you played further into the game. You'll think to yourself: What a fucking asshole, keeping praises locked behind a firewall of Xannies and Oxy.

But, you'll stay despite each passing day. You had told Jeffery about it, briefly -during a massive hangover no less. That didn't mean you wanted your boyfriend murdered. Without Cody, you'd be abnormal.

"It doesn't matter, he..." Jeffery laughed, his nerves spilling past his braced teeth. He nuzzled his nose along your eyebrow. And you felt on the verge of pissing yourself. "He brainwashed you. It's fine to be confused. Sleep off the drugs. We'll be home when you wake."

"Why?"

"Why what? Becoming sober would do you great."

You winced, "No? Why're you doing this."

Jeffery paused. He scratched at his temple. "Is it not obvious? I want you... badly. Not just your body, even though it's immaculate. You... um, have curves where I like them the most. And it's not every day I meet a pretty girl who loves anime and who's nice to me. Hello, you watched Pretty Cure and Sailor Moon. You were my only true friend. You could keep up with me like my Discord homies. And, um."

He was rambling. Fuck. You didn't know liking childish anime would get you here. Eight-year-old you was a bitch fucking whore~

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** Choice ** Skip past Jeffery's monologue a) end up in fucking the psycho anime freak, or b) end up in a ditch dead #yourimagination * click *

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Thank you for reading! Request rules are here. Follow my ig = lil.thoughts.xo!

Part One, Part Three

I am not a fan of Jeffery from 09'. That being said, I was shocked by the amount of people who liked part one! I hope this is good for y'all.

@opalineishere here's part twooo~

@sakurashana I tagged your ass because you had something to say the other day 😂

[babygirlbites]

Okay thank you and I won't! Now... Imagine being Leah's Imprint and feeling that draw before she changed, leading you to be her very best friend rather than a lover for when she was with Sam... And perhaps to you legitimately threatening Sam once he broke her heart.

It could be kinda funny if that is the one thing non of the Pack knows - that you legitimately scared Sam when he had just imprinted on Emily? Bonus points if he has to act like nothing happened around you because you are always with Leah now, and aren't shy about that fact.

(I know this is weird, I just want to kinda punch him in the face or scare him.)

Best Friends to Lovers Pipeline Headcannon (Leah Clearwater)

Normally not a BF2L kind of girl but this ask was just too good to miss

• the boys on the Rez used to pull your hair when you were a kid and call you names, typical childish tourment we all go through

• that is until the day another girl lands a surprisingly strong punch to a juvenile Paul Lahotes face to defend your honour

• Ever since that day you and Leah had been by each others side, inseparable

• sue would often joke that you were the second daughter she never had - and for a long while it did feel that way

• you shared everything; toys, secrets, clothes

• as the two of you grew up, your friendship often dwindled and reconciled

• you had different classes, made new friendships seperate too eachother

• as the dreaded teens and hormones hit the two of you would sometimes argue, both storming home to your respective mothers and crying to them

• but these arguments never lasted; being away from Leah felt as abnormal to you as trying to swim against a current

• Sue would ring your mom and they would laugh at how silly you both could be; their life experience meaning they could see things the two of you could not

• your parents never fretted or worried, they knew you two were never far from making up and returning to being thick as theives

• unlike the other girls in class, you two weren’t boy crazy, neither you or Leah had any interest in sharing your prescious time with boyfriends

• and why would you? You both had everything the other needed

• this all changed of course when Leah caught Sam’s eye

• She hurried home one day, forcing her younger brother from the family landline to ring you, to tell you all about her new obsession

• and you didn’t get it; the twist in your gut or the sick feeling in the bottom of your stomach at your friends new happiness

• you didn’t quite understand yet why you had such an issue with the boy; he had done nothing wrong to you

• you saw them together multiple times but still something was just so wrong with it all too you; everything was about Sam now

•”me and Sam did this…” , “did you know Sam…”, “Sam says he thinks…”, “me and Sam are going to …”

• at first you thought it was just a fear of being replaced; sure, Leah was spending less time with you now that she had a boyfriend, but she still made a furious effort to see you and was dedicated to keeping up your weekly sleepovers

• this confusion was cleared the first time you saw them kiss

•it was like being punched in the gut, a feeling of jealously so intense you had nothing to compare it too

• and it terrified you

• you pulled away from Leah, sleepovers turning to bi weekly, then monthly and then none at all

• you started going out with your other friends, taking your fake id to the closest town and partying with them

• for maybe the first time in your life you were being a “normal” teenager, acting out and mixing with boys

• you kissed boys, girls - anyone who would distract you from your best friend

• trying to be a promiscuous party girl felt like trying to fit a circle into a square shaped hole, but it at least gave you something else to use your time on instead of pining for your lost connection with Leah

• that was until you woke up to rocks at your window, Leah at your door, with tear stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes

• she told you how Sam had left her, the ins and outs and the gory details, every new tear down her cheek made you wince

• “I don’t even know why I came here, I just had to see you” she admits, and you want to get on your knees and beg for her forgiveness, to take back every second you spent pulling away from her

• instead you pull her into your arms and hold her there while she sobs

• days later you turn up to Sam’s house, unsure as to why you’re there or what you plan on doing, but as soon as you see his face behind the door screen your words just tumble out

• you lay it all on him; how vile you think he is, how wrong he is for leaving Leah for her own cousin

• he just takes it, staring down at you with wide eyes

• when he finally speaks you expect him to give some kind of pathetic apology, but instead he tries to tell you he didn’t have any control over his situation

• you’ve struck him before either of you even realise what you’ve done

• admittadly it’s a fairly shabby throw, but your nails catch his skin and break it

• you turn on your heels and storm away before Sam can even gather his thoughts enough to realise he’s just been slapped

• it’s a bitter sweet senario; Leah is more broken than you’ve ever seen her, but in some form you have your best friend back

• you never explain yourself for why you put the distance in place, and if Leah wonders she never bothers to ask

• Sue starts seeing you again, the sleep overs restart

• a strange sense of equilibrium sets in

• that is, of course until Harry dies

• and then she’s just gone

• you don’t even see Leah at the funeral; you hold Sue extra tight that day, hugging her for herself and her daughter

• and oh god do you miss her

• but every text you send is left unanswered, every time you visit the house there’s a new excuse for why you can’t see her

• it’s a month and three days before you see her again, and yes, you had counted

• it’s your turn to storm up too her;demanding an explanation right there in the fresh fruit aisle of the supermarket

• you have no clue what you expected her to say or do; but she just stares at you, openly gawking

• ironic really; you haven’t changed at all since the last time she saw you and she had grown about a foot and toned up massively - you can’t help but subconsciously search for steroids in her basket

• you find out much later that this was the moment Leah imprinted on you, right there and then as you sounded off about how lonely you had been and how much of a bitch she was for leaving you like that

• the dynamic shifted again between the two of you; it was like she couldn’t quite stay away now

• everywhere you went Leah was nearby, never really there but just hovering in the vacinity

• a walk on the beach? Leah’s in her car is at the car park

• youre out with friends? Leah is on the other side of the bar trying to not get caught watching you

• in the end she turns up to your house again, stones at the window and all

• it’s different this time, you’ve always been able to tell if Leah is nervous - you know the twitch and the lack of eye contact, traits she has carried from a very young age

• she shows you what she is and she’s scared

• she knows this is a huge thing, but she can’t stay away from you anymore

• and now YOURE scared, your best friend is a massive wolf and you’re just supposed to be cool with that?

• you run, still in your slippers from the house, and lock the door behind you

• you know the could catch up if she wanted too but Leah has always loved you too much to do that to you

• she knows you need time, and although she’s scared to death that you’ll never come back, she has to let you go

• and you do come back

• this time you’re at her window

• she’s rough, bags under her eyes and her hair is lank like it been washed since she last saw you

• (it hasn’t, she’s been so physically unwell by being rejected by you that she couldn’t eat, sleep or take care of herself)

• Seth had tried to get his mom to call the doctor but Sue just pushed him off; she knew her daughter and the truth behind her intense need for your company

• she knew the imprint bond, even if Leah hadn’t told her in so many words

• and most importantly, she knew you

• Sue had always known that no matter what, you and her daughter were fated to come back together every time you fell apart

• and as always, she was right

• Leah explained the imprint too you, selling it as a friendship bond as to not scare you too much

• you weren’t stupid, you knew the tribes tales, told around bonfires since you were young

• but you let her have you in her life how she needed you, you’d be there for her in whatever form she needed you

• you and Leah definitely have “ you fell first but she fell harder” vibe

• falling in love romantically is inevitable for both of you, but it does give Sue some giggles to watch you both fight it at every turn

• Sue has always had a soft spot for you, knowing you were destined to be part of her family somehow

• Harry used to bet that you would fall for Seth and always be around that way, but she was all too happy to admit that he was wrong

• you brought her daughter back to her, Leah could truly be herself in your company

• when you are around the pack there’s the added level of awkwardness by being around both Emily and therefore Sam

• your history is unspoken, not even Leah knows what happened that night you turned up on his doorstep

• the rest of the pack are left to theorise why Sam seems so uncomfortable when you’re in a room with just him, why he jumps slightly everytime you move too fast

• they find it hilarious, it is hilarious - someone as small as you in comparison to the literal leader of the pack

• Leah tries to ask you about it numerous times but you just bat her off and say you don’t know what she’s talking about

• and she lets it go, because she doesn’t feel any sort of way towards Sam anymore, her heart healed by you

[two-white-butterflies]

the last time | m33 and c55

Description: You wanted to be his priority - is that too much to ask? After moving on from Max, he sees you around the paddock - with someone that treats you so much better.

Pairing: max verstappen/indie-actress!reader, carlos sainz/actress!reader (eventual)

Rating: Teen [angst]

taglist forms

yourname_daisies: happy new year everyone ✨ have a blessed 2021. i found love last year and i hope that you find yours this year. 💕

82 comments 12,349 likes

maxverstappen1: 🦁❤️🎉

thisloveisgood: my fav actress to f1 wag pipeline

bestianlives7: we gotta gatekeep her

esties9nando: This white man stole my wife??

Max reminded you of summer. Sunny. Smiling. Warm. He was your vacation, your rest and your home. "I missed you," you mumbled leaning deeper into his touch. "How was filming?" he inquired, pouring you a glass of wine. "Hectic, but nothing compared to racing." you chuckled - pressing a kiss to his jaw.

This year - everything revolved around him. It revolved around his practices and how he could fight to win the WDC. He slumped on the sofa beside you - reaching for the blanket and allowing it to cover the lower part of your torso.

"What movie are we going to watch?" he reached for the popcorn in the coffee table. Excited for what kind of film you'd choose. Last time it was horror - but you were in a romantic mood. "Something romantic comedy, I kinda wanna sleep tonight." you chuckled, browsing through Netflix's large catalogue of movies.

A small exhale exits his mouth - the air conditioner was making the room colder. A perfect temperature for watching a movie. "I can't wait until we get to watch you in Netflix," he prophecized. "I have a feeling that it's going to be soon." you smiled.

"Yeah, we'll watch your movie next month right? Licorice Pizza, I've already told everyone to watch it." he boasted, showing you that he did his job spreading the good word on the grid. A small giggle escapes your mouth - seeing that dedicated smile on his face.

"I can't find anything - let's just rewatch black mirror." you sighed, pressing on the familiar poster. It wasn't like you were going to watch a single thing tonight.

yourname_daisies: a piece of art ✨

18 comments 3,492 likes

maxverstappen1: ❤️📸

licorizepizza: 💕

y/nsuperfan: when she posts him all the time but he doesn't post her 😭 you can do so much better than this queen.

Carlossainz55: hermosa y hermoso 💪🏽 - yourname_daisies: gracias señor ✨

"Max Verstappen! You are champion of the world!" the man behind you screams into his mic. Even though your boyfriend finished second in the race - he won the WDC. "He did it!" you smiled, embracing your friend who was cheering for the both of you.

Max steps out of his car - jumping with joy as he began to embrace his team. He hugged Christian first, then his best friend then one of his engineers - but he passed you. He didn't even look in your direction. That was the moment you knew. You weren't his priority.

Mijn Pearl (Y/N L/N) Congratulations on the WDC Maxie! I'm so proud of you!!

You stared at the message that you sent out to him. It's been six hours. According to your friends he's currently partying in the redbull yacht - completely oblivious of your existence. "Did he seriously forget about you again? Just because he's champion of the world doesn't mean that he's allowed to forget you." your best friend antagonized - annoyed that you were being treated this way.

"He's probably overwhelmed with winning. I'm sure that he hasn't touched his phone since." you hid your phone inside your pocket. About to cry because of his neglect. He didn't even look at you. It was like - you disappeared into thin air.

"I don't care about him. Let's go party!" your friend screamed, pulling you inside one of the nightclubs. You shrug. It was probably the best thing to do. Anything to take your mind off him.

Carlos sits beside you - a cup of water at hand. "What are you doing here?" you inquire, surprised to see him in this kind of place. "I ditched the redbull party a few hours ago. Me and Lando were looking for you." he informed, taking a shot of his vodka.

A fake smile paints your lips - you completely forgot about how furious you felt about Max. "I decided to hang out with my friends," you lied - not wanting to talk shit about your boyfriend. "Ahh, I see. Do you want more alcohol? Lando will drive us home." he half-yelled due to the techno music blasting the room. "Yeah!" your best friend yelled in return, dancing to the tune with her upper body.

"Shit, are we gonna get that drunk?" you giggled, already seeing the drinks pile in your table. Soon enough Lando and Carlos were sitting beside you. Gossiping about F1 and other team's strategy. "Bottoms up!" Carlos suddenly yelled, prompting for all of you to take shots.

Carlossainz55: Anyone know what's happening? 🤣

798 comments 239,192 likes (posted 3:23 am)

foolishone38: Who is the girl in the second slide? With the black hair? She's so hot 😭 - bechele87: she's max's gf - foolishone38: not anymore...

imolatifosi5: y/n wasn't in the redbull afterparty? how was carlos hanging out with her? and where is max?

Gluteous Maximus (Max Verstappen) Where are you?

Mijn Pearl (Y/N L/N) Hey I'm in Lando's apartment. me n BSF/N so drunk 💀 we had to haul ass to the closest room

Gluteous Maximus (Max Verstappen) u safe? i can pick u up

Mijn Pearl (Y/N L/N) I'm too sleepy. I'll meet u in the hotel room tom. ily congratulations baby 💗

Gluteous Maximus (Max Verstappen) Thank you! ❤️ night

You couldn't stop crying on the drive home.

"I can't believe that I'm feeling this way." you wiped the tears away from your eyes, drunkenly mumbling about how Max made you feel alone. "You poor thing," your best friend pulled your head closer to her chest. "I felt invisible," you sobbed while Carlos rubbed comforting circles on your back. "It's normal to feel that way," he mumbled - unsure on how to comfort you.

"You need to talk to him - communication is the most important part of a relationship." Lando lectured while driving his car around the busy city. "Since when did you become an expert in love?" Carlos slurred, body moving alongside the car. "Since now." Lando popped his lips, halting in front of his apartment building.

"I don't know the entire story but I'm on your side." he removed his seatbelt, opening the door to his car.

yourname_daisies: 'Licorice Pizza' is nominated for three academy awards. I'm so proud of us! 💗✨

89 comments 28,129 likes

maxverstappen1: congratulations ❤️ - yourname_daisies: thank you max

LandoNorris: Don't forget us when ur rich n famous

You didn't tell him about the troubles that you were feeling in the relationship. You figured that time would heal everything, and his fame would settle down - but it never did. The fame never got to his head - but the neglect got to yours.

"Max, can we get an autograph?" his fans followed the both of you around. At first, he entertained them - but as more of them draw closer you both attempted to run away. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, attempting to navigate a crowded street.

One of the paparazzis bumped your shoulder. And the worst thing happened. He dropped your hand - and you swore that this would be the last time. The last time you dealt with this.

MAX VERSTAPPEN AND GIRLFRIEND CONFIRM BREAKUP.

(TWO YEARS LATER)

Carlossainz55: We look good together, no? ✨

0 comments 349,239 likes

comments have been restricted.

Max didn't think that he'd ever see you again.

He's read articles about your new life. How you won an Oscar a year after breaking up with him. How your dating one of his friends.

He sees you from across the paddock - wearing a color that he'd never thought he'd see you wear. Red. Ferrari red. With Carlos Sainz trailing behind you loyally.

He sees you walking towards him, and he contemplates on whether or not he should say 'hi'. He sees you walking towards him - until you're already past him. Bumping shoulders but never looking back.

[icanseeyou2007]

HAPPY (late) 10TH ANNIVERSARY FNAF!!!

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

the background is all of the things that made me find out and eventually HYPERfixate on fnaf:D

i forgot that it was already the tenth anniversary!!😭😭 sorry this is a bit late-

a bit of a ramble below the cut if you wanna listen to me yammer on about my history with fnaf:3

i originally heard about fnaf around the time it came out. not by anyone online no no no, no gameplay footage, but one of my very close friends at the time gave me the WHOLE RUNDOWN and lore of the foxy x mangle/chica series. i was a bit scared (as i was a child) of the thought of killer animatronics, so i wanted to keep my distance. i would always go to chuck e cheese with them, and they’d always talk about how chuck is gonna’ come alive and stuff. it was funny. i still really like chuck e. cheese :)

but then around 2019-2020, i found those comic dubs on youtube of both the ‘ask goldie anything’ and ‘springtrap and delilah’ series i fell in love with both of them immediately! (little disclaimer i’ve heard of the stuff that the springtrap and delilah creator did- i do not support them!! but anyways, back to it-) my autistic ass 11-12 year old self was going wild!!! i would watch them over and over again. the springtrap and delilah comic dub was actually how i found out springtrap killed kids and stuff, i didn’t know the whole purple guy bit till later, but to say i was scared was an understatement- i remember hiding under my covers at night thinking ‘AH!! springtrap’s gonna’ get me!’ … good times. :)

when security breach was announced i was ecstatic!!:D i found out about 8bitryan and dawko a bit after that, then looking into the lore, all of the games, the rabbit hole, if you will.

i remember that christmas, getting my grubby hands on all of the games on mobile i could buy, playing them all as much as i could even if i was scared. it was great.

before security breach came out, i really loved fnaf vr. getting my hands on a vr headset and all just to play it for myself!! i was (and still am) a very big glitchtrap enjoyer! used to watch that one cosplayer who played as glitchtrap and would do those ‘glitchtrap looks himself up on google’ and ‘glitchtrap reads your comments’. can’t remember their name- it i find it i’ll put it here! but i loved it. still do!

i would go on vrchat for hours and roleplay!! i really liked (still do) funtime freddy, used to think i could do an impression of him and i would rp and stuff as him… simple times- it was so amazing. that’s how i’ve met some of my best friends, and both of my boyfriends! i would die without them<33

then when security breach came out- oh i was waiting down to the SECOND it released! i stayed up for hours playing it- so exited!! even though it has its quirks, it’s still one of my favorites from the franchise, its what got me into it- like, really into it.

then the pipeline of making my ocs— i had a whole world planned out in my head for a fangame. might revisit it one day. who knows?

but then we have the present. the fnaf movie (in my opinion) was absolutely wonderful!!! so exited for the second- have hardly looked into fnaf vr 2 and the ruin dlc, (i know it’s been a year-) but i’ll get to it. all fandoms have it’s quirks, but i still love it. thank you Scott Cawthon, and the fnaf community for being such a big part of my life. i would really be lost today without it.

happy 10th anniversary fnaf!

[dontaskmemybias]

Ryder's Jisung Recommendations

One Shots

Reckless convictions @moonjxsung This fic??? Hot professor Han falls for a student and chaos ensues. This shit rewired my brain chemistry.

On my mind @staytheword One of the first smut pieces I read and it is just so fucking beautiful. Stressed college student roommates hit home. This fic has stayed with me for so long, it showed me what fics can be like when someone really puts their all into it. I tagged more of Mari's stuff at the bottom because her fics are all so beautiful.

Weather the storm @doitforbangchan Ladies night out gets cancelled due to weather so boyfriend Han comes over and makes a fort with you. So cute, funny, and steamy.

The Heat @hwanghyunjinenthusiast Roommate Han brings home sex cookies. The hottest aphrodisiac fic I've read.

Friend Agreement @cas-skz First time with bff Han. So good. I don't normally love first time fics but this one is so cute and steamy, I couldn't leave it off the list.

Building Forts and Confessions @httpseiki Prompts: "Don't tempt me" and "lets build a fort". Bff2l story that was so good. Reader and Han are adorable and I loved it so much.

I need you, I love you @cb97breathing Amazing f2l with a nice accidental drunk confession. Everything I love in a fic. Belle is such a great writer, their fics are all amazing.

Blue Sunrise @quokkawritesarchive This fic??? Brothers best friend BLUESUNG!! Subby Ji is so hot in this fic jfc.

Same But Different @skzdarlings w/Felix. The world building is ethereal. I would legit read a whole novel. The entire threesome series darling wrote is so good but this one is one I have reread so many times now because it has such a phenomenal story. Check out the sharing a bed series too while you're at it 😘

Series

2:23 AM Pt. 1, Pt. 2 @webcorelino Flora wrote the first smut I ever read. This is from her old account but there was a time when I read this multiple times a week. F2l fic that is just so amazing. First fic I saved in my notes app on my phone.

Like Never Before Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3 @writerracha Best friends brother fic that is so fucking steamy and just 🤤

Kinkuary 17, Truth Comes Out, Start of Something New @kwanisms I accidentally read the second one first because I thought these were oneshots but the whole stranger turned best friend Felix's roommate pipeline went so hard. These fics are so damn good.

What could go wrong? Ch. 1, Ch. 2 @daisykihannie Haneul wrote the best incubus Han fic hands down. This series is incomplete as of this moment but I am awaiting the next part! Soooo good.

[svmjaeyvn]

love maze, s.jy.

chapter eight pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER EIGHT: BETS

previous masterlist next

word count: 4k

warnings: smut, oral (m&f rec), unprotected sex (kinda, readers on the pill), creampie (wrap it up!!!), praise, dirty talk, couple good girls thrown in, kinda public sex they’re fucking IN A TENT WITH EVERYONE ELSE 10 FEET AWAY, basically the whole chapters them having sex sooo

a/n: a little sex scene just for funzies 🤭

JAKE HAD A problem. A rather hard one that didn't seem to go away even with his night walk that he forced himself on in the chilly air. With it being the last night of your group vacation, he had been struggling with the lack of privacy the campgrounds held.

Any other circumstance he would've been fine, however, with seeing you in a tiny little bathing suit the past two days, the thin strings holding little to the imagination and almost seemed untrustworthy due to how your perky boobs bounced with each step and the cheeky bottoms showed off practically everything, skin glistening with your lovely tanned skin in the water and near all day view of your body, Jake was pent up to say the least.

It certainly didn't help that since you two have gone far past regular boundaries already, you opted to sleeping in a large shirt and cotton underwear as your preferred method most of the time was no underwear at all, but you figured to be polite, wearing some was the best choice. Each night Jake had laid next to you, the outline of your curves shown under the thin sheet as the humid air only left it comfortable enough for one. When you'd wake up in the morning, majority of the time the sheet had been tossed off most of your body, giving Jake a clear look at the roundness of you ass and thick thighs that peaked out beneath.

And tonight seemed to be the breaking point for him. After making his rounds in saying goodnight, he had led himself into the shared tent only to see you in his shirt, a sheepish smile on your lips as you turned to him, hair pulled up all messy and in the midst of cleansing your face.

"I got my other shirt dirty," You told him before he could question you upon it. "Let me wear it tonight, yeah? It's what a good boyfriend would do," You teased, a small pout upon your lips as you peered up at him with the tilt of your head.

Jake had no other option but to oblige. You sat so pretty in his shirt, the outline of your tits beneath the thin material more than enough to make him puddy in your hands and he had merely agreed to everything you said for the next thirty minutes until the lamp was turned off and you rolled over for bed.

You weren't dumb, you could see how Jake's demeanor changed, much more quipped and having a hard time actually looking you in the eyes. But still, the thought of doing anything with the other tents a mere 10 feet away, there was no way you'd go through with it. Thus when you rolled over, you truly intended to sleep for the night, a sigh of content leaving your lips only to be wide eyed and awake fifteen minutes later.

You had heard Jake exit the tent only to come back five minutes later, him muttering under his breath and proceeding to toss and turn. Assuming you had fallen asleep due to the steady rise and fall of your breathing, he had been doing his best to get comfortable but it was hard when his bulging tip was practically begging for attention, far too pent up to go away anytime soon.

Growing tired of the constant moving on his end, you rolled over, eyes immediately falling down to the obvious length that pushed against the material of his sweats, the words you intended to speak suddenly forgotten in the process. Your lips parted, not knowing what to say while Jake lets out a deep sigh.

"You mind helping me out?" He mumbles, voice raspier than usual as his hand begins to palm at his cock through the material of his pants. The lack of light made it hard to see, the small pile of wood left to burn out outside being only minimal dim illumination but you could see his blown out pupils and desperate eyes, airy breaths leaving his lips in the process.

"Everyone else can hear," You whisper, hesitant but you couldn't help the wetness that began to accumulate between your legs, clenching your thighs at the sight of Jake who seemed so eager and in need of your touch.

He shakes his head, reaching out to draw you closer. His lips captured your own, messily locking with enough force to indicate how pent up he felt. "We'll be quiet," He reassured against your lips.

A soft moan erupted from your throat muffled by his mouth against yours. The kiss turned sloppy, teeth clanking together as Jake guided one of your hands down to his crotch. His head fell back upon your hand wrapping around his length through the sweats, a breathy sigh of content coming from him.

All clear judgment had been thrown out the window, you obliging to his word without hesitation and your hand momentarily left his cock to hook your fingers along the waistband of his pants. In a swift motion and the lift of his hips, you pulled the restricting clothing down in one movement, his boxers dragged along with it leaving his hardened dick to slap against his stomach.

Your eyes slightly widened at the sight. Although you had hooked up once, Jake was more focused on getting you off that night, not allowing for you to have a proper glimpse of his full length until now. You had definitely felt how big it was, but now having your hands wrapped around the girthy base it seemed impossible for you to even take.

Placing small peppering kisses around his thighs, each growing closer to his length as your hand slowly pumped up and down his shaft, you smile upon Jake's whiny moans that quietly filled the air between you. Your tongue licked up from his base all the way to the tip, kitten licks along his reddened head before your lips wrapped around him. Starting off slow, you began to adjust to the size, ensuring to keep your teeth out of the way as you bobbed up and down, taking in more and more of his cock each time while one of your hands stroked the remaining length.

Pulling away momentarily, you allowed your hands to do the work while taking in a deep breath in prep. Your eyes flickered up to meet Jake's, his brows pinched together as he attempted to stay quiet, the gaze one that cause you to smile, content with the obvious way you made him feel good.

"What're you smiling about?" Jake huffs out, hand going behind your head to pull you back down his cock. This time, however, you hallowed out your cheeks, full trust in your usual lack of a gag reflex and taking his entire length down your throat, holding it at his base while you feel his cock twitch at the new sensation of your mouth. "Fuck," Jake hissed out, his hand holding a fistful of your hair as his hips bucked further down your throat. "Such a good girl, so good with your mouth," He rambled on, eyes rolling back in pleasure as you began to bob up and down, nearly having his full shaft in your mouth.

Growing needy, Jake took advantage of the opportunity. Fucking his dick into your mouth, his hips moved up and down at a continuous pace, the wet sounds of your saliva heard and beginning to pool around his crotch. Your eyes shut at the up and down, doing your best to keep your jaw unhinged but as he suddenly stopped, pushing your head all the way down as far he it would go, you tapped his thigh feeling a gag erupt from your throat.

Jake pulled away, allowing you to let out a cough as you caught your breath. "I'm sorry, I’m sorry, you're doing so well pretty girl," He praised, thumb wiping away the spit that accumulated at your chin.

"Asshole," You huff, blinking away the few tears that pooled at the corner of your eyes. He let out a chuckle, gently pushing your hair from your face and pulling it into a makeshift ponytail.

"You're okay baby," Jake coos guiding your mouth back to his cock with a teasing smile. You roll your eyes but comply, the smug expression wiped off his face as soon as your lips were wrapped around him once more. With his jaw falling slack and eyes pinching closed, you felt a certain boost of confidence, proud of how good you made him feel. "Fuuuck," He drawled out, seemingly confirming your thoughts with a whiney gasp hitching in the back of his throat as you peer up at him, cock still in your mouth and pretty eyes locked on him. "Fuck, you feel so good baby, pretty little mouth takes me so well,"

You felt hit dick twitch as it reached the back of your throat, your hand and mouth simultaneously bobbing up and down along his shaft which seemed to be more than enough to cause Jake to squirm beneath you. Quickly pulling you away from the grip he still held on your hair, a breathy laugh left his lips as he leaned back.

"What?" You asked innocently, lips pouted together and slightly swollen. He shakes his head, you knowing fully well the answer to your own question but he instead pulls you up to him, barely allowing for you to wipe away the excess spit from your mouth before his lips locked with yours once more. The kiss caught you by surprise. The hot open mouthed pecks trailed down from your mouth to your neck, only pulling away to push up his shirt from your body and reconnect his lips to your hardened nipples.

One of his hands rolled the bud between his fingers, providing it some attention while his mouth sucked on the other. His other hand trailed down to your thighs, softly nudging your legs open with minimal effort and his fingers found way to your underwear, a low hum erupting from his throat feeling the wet spot through the material.

"Jae," You mewl, bottom lip tucked between your teeth in attempt to stay quiet. Slowly pulling the cotton of your panties down at a pace that seemed excruciating long, Jake smiled seeing at how you bucked your hips, desperate for some form of friction against your swollen cunt. "Please,"

"So needy," He tuts with the click of his tongue, his fingertips finding their way back to your wetness beginning to circle along your pussy and watching as you let out a rather loud moan. "Shh, you have to stay quiet baby," Pushing the material of the shirt into your mouth, he ensured you were biting down on it to muffle the low mewls that continued to erupt from your throat. His head dipped down, finding its spot between your legs for a second time and more than pleased by the sight of your pretty cunt that begged for more.

Licking a long stripe between your lips, a hum of satisfaction came from the sweet taste you held. No longer willing to tease, Jake deviled fully into lapping up and down, ensuring to focus on your swollen clit as his nose rubbed against it every so often. Your hips bucked, a hand finding way to Jake's hair and tugging at it slightly which earned a small moan from him, one that vibrated directly against you and caused your eyes to shut in pleasure. The other hand fiddled with your tits, pinching at the sensitive bundle of nerves and doing your best to stay quiet though it proved to be difficult.

Jake continued, egged on by the way you attempted to squirm away from him, legs clenching together but he merely pushed your thighs apart. The familiar sensation began to pull in your stomach, your whines growing more frequent as you neared your high.

"Oh fuck, please, please," You whispered out, voice high and pornographic, eyes rolling back as you moved against his mouth. "Please, please Jae,"

Just as you felt your release on the brink of bursting, a loud whine left your lips as Jake pulled away. His hand clamped over your mouth, shushing you as he peppered kisses to your thighs. "I'm sorry pretty girl," He whispered, though his apology came pitiless as he wore a rather amused smirk watching your hips buck in attempt to gain any type of attention to your swollen clit. "I don't want you to cum yet," He shushes you, lining himself between your legs. He stared down at you, hand pumping along his shaft for a few moments as you pouted.

"Asshole," You repeat for a second time, few heavy breathes in attempt to regain your composure but that was thrown out as soon as his tip began to rub along your slit. Jake hummed before he spit into his hand, mixing your arousal with his saliva as he coated his tip.

The feeling of his dick beginning to enter your cunt caused your eyes to squeeze shut. Certainly turned on but not quite used to his length yet, there was a slight burn as he slowly inched in, allowing for you to adjust before he bottomed out inside you.

Both your moans mixed with one another, Jake's particularly whiney as he stilled himself, having to gain some composure before he came just from feeling your warm walls wrapped around him. He had no idea what it was about you, but the feeling of your warm pussy was intoxicating, one he never wanted to forget after gaining the privilege.

"You're so pretty," Jake mumbled, slowly beginning to move as he pushed his fingers into your mouth, muffling your moans. "So fucking pretty, your little cunt wrapped around my dick taking it so well. Such a good girl my love," Keeping his strokes deep and slow, the feeling more than enough to have you squirming against his hips.

Your muffled moans, the sound erotic sounds of your skin clapping together, and the slight squeak of the air mattress was certainly more than enough noise for everyone else to get the general picture of what was occurring, not to mention your tent that shook with each passing stroke. Far too drunk on the feeling of his cock that continued to kiss your cervix, you paid no mind to how loud you were, focused on your own desires and the familiar build up the began to brew once more.

Jake was more aware of how loud you two were, however, that didn't provide any indication for him to stop. In fact, it seemed to urge him to do more, the thought of letting everyone know just how good he filled you up and how you begged for him to continue did wonders for his ego. It turned him on more if humanly possible.

"Please keep going," You slur as he removed his fingers from your mouth, instead using them to circle around your clit that seemed to be needing attention.  He continued to fuck you at a consistent and deep pace, intending to get you to your high first but the feeling of your cunt squeezing around him more and more drew him to the edge. "Please, Jae don't stop," Your whiney plea led to a pornographic moan, Jake picking up the pace to fuck you through your built up orgasm.

He groaned feeling you clench around him, his dick twitching slightly from how tight you became. You had to pull away his hand from your clit, the friction far too overstimulating as he stayed consistent with his strokes, though they began to grow more shallow as you felt your ears ring at the over abundance of pleasure.

"Oh baby," Jake moans, the breathy whine leaving his lips as he gripped your hips tightly.

"You gonna cum baby?" You mewl, hands reaching around his shoulders as your nails dug into the skin slightly. Pulling his head close to yours, you capture his lips in a chaste kiss. "Come for me, please baby, go ahead,"

Your words broke the thin string that Jake held onto. Your lips crashed together, his moans muffled into your mouth feeling the warm sensation fill your cunt, Jake pumping himself through with shallow strokes before halting, his body suddenly feeling weak as he fell on top of you.

A small laugh left your lips with Jake's arms barely able to support his weight, otherwise crushing you beneath him as he took heavy breaths. Your hands pushed away the hair that stuck to his forehead due to the beads of sweat that accumulated at his hairline. Wincing as he pulled himself out of you, allowing for the cum to drip out of your hole while placing his t-shirt beneath you to catch any that dribbled down, Jake rolled onto his side with deep breathes.

"We need to do that more often," He says aloud, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips before pepper light pecks to your shoulder.

"You're lucky I'm on the pill," You tut, sending him a pointed look to the mess he made.

Jake shrugged. "You told me last time," He explains, his lack of care for the potentials explained by the wave of his hand. "Best case scenario, it's works properly," He grins, finding the fact that he may have been developing a breeding kink rather exciting, you being the first and presumably only that he’d do so with. "Worse case is we have a kid, no biggie,"

You smack his arm, rolling your eyes at his nonchalantness while sitting up. "Don't manifest that," You tsk, adjusting your own shirt while holding the other article of clothing close to your core, feeling the warmth that continued to dribble out. "C'mon,"

"Where we goin’?" Jake groans, reluctantly sitting up as he watched you grab a pair of shorts to slip on.

"I have to pee, especially since someone decided to do this," You emphasized, watching the boyish smile form back on his lips, entirely pleased with his doing. "It's dark as shit outside, I'm not going to piss in a tree by myself,"

"You're the one who told me to come," He defends but nonetheless slipping on his shorts without argument. Unzipping the tent, he steps out into his shoes first, holding open the material for you to follow. "Lets go princess,"

You roll your eyes, though thankful for the now died out fire as it hid your smile that ghosted upon your features. You tucked the spare toilet paper roll and hand sanitizer from your things under your arm before slipping out. Jake held out his hand as you two stood, his flash from his phone being the only light indicator and he took a moment to glance over the other tents, ensuring no one was still out.

Your hand slipped into his, following his lead and focused on the rocky ground to not trip over your own feet. Jake led you to a secluded area far from any other campers in the tree line, the actual porta potties a drive away down the road meaning it was out of question for now.

"Okay, go away," You shooed him, finding your footing behind a bush that you deemed adequate enough.

"Seriously?" He snickers, finding it hard to believe you refused to pee in front of him while he was quite literally inside you moments ago.

"I'm pee shy," You defend, sending him a pointed look as he laugh. Shaking his head, Jake wandered away, far enough to provide you some privacy but still within hearing range and the light in view. "Okay, just, whistle or something,"

"Oh yeah ‘cause whistling in the pitch black dark in the middle of nowhere isn't creepy at all,"

"Then hum!" You huff, now squatted behind the bush and mentally cursing yourself for giving in earlier which led to where you were now. All for some dick. "Go pee too before you get a UTI,"

Waving you off, Jake silently obliges to your word. Humming a random tune loud enough to drown out any noise that would come from you, you both silently proceeded with your business. In the midst of cleaning yourself up, Jake's voice broke the air once again. "Hey,"

You pinch your brows, standing up straight to see him walking your way once more. "What?" A mischievous smile took over his lips, quirking a brow. Holding out his hand for you to spritz the sanitizer into his palm, he rubs it in before answering.

"You hungry?"

                 "FESS UP," SUNGHOON held out his hand toward Ni-ki as you and Jake tiredly slipped out of the tent. It was morning, the rising sun beading down had caused you to wake up early the past few days, the heat making it hard to sleep anytime past 7am and after the escapades of last night, you felt particularly sluggish.

A yawn escaped Jake's lips as he slipped past you, a quick kiss placed to the side of your head as he made his way to the portable stovetop where Heeseung seemed to be cooking up breakfast. You made your way to the others sat along their respective chairs. Yunjin had a wide grin on her lips, sipping from her cup of coffee while Jay shook his head, though the amusement that lingered in his expression wasn't unnoticed.

"What?" You ask, settling into your seat while Ni-ki huffs, placing a 10 dollar bill into Sunghoon's hand who pocketed it with a smile.

"You let me down," The youngest tsks, swirling around the milk that was left in his bowl of cereal. Pointing an accusing finger in your direction, you tilt your head not knowing what he meant.

"You guys are loud," Jungwon pipes in with a yawn, rubbing at his eyes while Sunoo follows with a small nod.

"Should've went and fucked in the woods, at least then we wouldn't have had to hear you," Jay snickers, watching as your eyes widen in horror. The reaction caused the group to burst into a fit of laughter, Jake and Heeseung joining the group with hot bowls of ramyeon in hand in the midst. "Kept everyone up last night too when you decided to have post-sex snacks,"

"Aftercare," Jake shrugged, jumping into the conversation with ease and seemingly unfazed by the conversation topic. He pulled your legs to drape along his lap, a comfortable position that had been your go-to considering Jake had become particularly clingy and in need of having some form of touch. He held out your own bowl to you, carefully handing it over while you sent him a small thanks. "We're a couple, what'd you expect?"

"I did expect it," Sunghoon corrected, holding up the money he gained from the bet he placed with Ni-ki upon wether or not the two of you would've hooked up over the trip. You raise a brow, tilting your head while he smiles innocently.

"You were trying to bet me about Yunjin and Heeseung while betting on me with Ni-ki at the same time?" You confirm, watching as he held up his hands with a small shrug.

"Easy money," Sunghoon said nonchalantly. "I knew someone was going to so,"

"You bet with me about Heeseung," Jay frowned his brows at the new information.

"___ said no so had to go to someone else," He explained causing you to roll your eyes. A small snicker came from Jake, him squeezing your leg before taking a bite of his food. Sitting up, Yunjin looks around, visibly confused by the topic at hand as she gestured between herself and Heeseung who sat silently eating his own bowl, his smile hidden by the fact that he was eating like his life depended upon it.

"What bet about Heeseung and I?"

my tags!! @slutforsjy @jaklvbub @whowantshota @addictedtohobi @coolwitu @simjyunnie @kgneptun @graythecoffeebean @143ikeu @zyvlxqht @tesywesy @nxzz-skz @aishisgrey @enczen @vanvity @dreamiestay @caitysdelusions @ikkeumyluv @v3lv3tsin

( pls make sure your settings make you applicable to tag )

[ninadove]

As a (very niche portion of the) fandom, our collective attention has been captured by how much Felix adores Kagami — which is true and good and beautiful and pure. But we’ve been sleeping on how much she loves him, and today, I want to shine a spotlight on her side of the most beautiful love story ever written.

Before we begin, let me get the obvious out of the way: yes, she did try to crush his skull with a chair in Pretension, and she was iconic for that.

HOWEVER.

This is only how their relationship started. What truly matters is how the story unfolds from then on.

And boy does it unfold fast. By the end of the episode, Felix has shaken Kagami’s worldview so much that she:

Stands up to her own friends and fellow heroes in an effort to not only protect him, but also ensure that he can keep the Peacock Miraculous;

Actively challenges her mother’s teaching that emotions (in this context, romantic love) are a weakness that should be eradicated from the face of the Earth;

Is planning secret dates with Felix, even though as far as she knows Tomoe has her amok (because you can’t tell me this little genius didn’t figure out the entire Sentilore in the sewers);

Trusts Felix with said amok despite his extensive criminal record, as illustrated by how quickly and firmly she takes his hand — with a little sigh if happiness, might I add. This is especially significant compared to previous instances of hand holding between the two, when he had to make all the effort while she remained completely limp.

And then Representation rolls around. And oh, boy.

Kagami instantly calms down from her TV-induced rage upon seeing her boyfriend on her balcony — a major improvement when you consider how big of a role anger and frustration play in her akumatisations.

Tangent 1:

Something similar happened in Ikari Gozen, when Mari protected Kagami from her mother, causing her to narrowly escape Hawkmoth’s influence. More on the Marigami-to-Feligami pipeline in another post, coming to your dash someday in the not-so-distant future.

Not only does Kagami instantly relax in Felix’s presence, but she laughs — something that previously only happened in the context of Adrigaminette, and we all know how that ended. Felix is the one to mend her heart and make her laugh again, for the second time since the dance.

Our two lovebirds proceed to straight up RUN AWAY INTO THE SUNSET. Kagami presumably spent the following 350 km (300 miles) cuddled up in Argos’ arms, admiring how handsome he looks in his glittery cosmic suit which we don’t get to see because budget.

Later on, they casually discuss Ladybug’s identity, while fireworks go off in the background. Let me rephrase this: Kagami trusted the person who stole the Miraculous with her best friend’s most burning secret, not because she wants to defeat Hawkmoth per say, but because Gabriel has been getting in the way of their make out sessions and she can’t have that.

Tangent 2:

Also coming to your dash in the not-so-distant future: an analysis of Kagami’s relationship to the concepts of truth and lies, and how dependent it is on what serves her and her loved ones in the moment.

Then, of course, the core of the episode: Kagami actively participates in the play, helping Felix tell his story in a way he feels comfortable with.

Tangent 3 (lots of ‘em today):

This part is extremely important to me, because I’ve seen So. Many. People. complain that the play could have been boiled down to two lines of conversation.

And like.

No???

Firstly, this is a show, not real life: we as an audience needed the confirmation to be as climactic as possible. If it hadn’t been, I can guarantee the exact same salters would be crying about the story’s “WaStEd PoTeNtIaL”.

But let’s delve into the real life implications of the Sentiplot for a second.

Abuse survivors do not owe you a brief, comfortable explanation of what they went through, neatly wrapped up with a pretty little bow.

The play is a beautiful illustration of how art can be cathartic and therapeutic, and I need you guys to understand that this sequence means something to many, many viewers — most of them children in similarly terrible situations. If I were to bet, I would say it very likely speaks to one or more members of the writing team on a personal level as well.

So you can pry these scenes from my cold, dead hands.

The kisses… All of them… During the firework show. As the sun rises to signify a new beginning. Disguised as Adrien’s parents. For context, this is the same girl who previously found a hand kiss to be too much for her broken heart to bear.

And of course, there’s the way she looks at him like he is her entire world, like she cannot understand how anyone could ever call him monstruous. Because Felix doesn’t get the monopoly of heart eyes.

Finally, in Recreation:

THE LIES CALLBACK. THE MIRACULOUS TEAM TOOK THE TIME AND MADE THE EFFORT TO PUT A LIES CALLBACK IN THE FREAKING FINALE. You guys know I’m insane about this scene already.

So what’s my point.

Because yes, I do have a point, apart from “KSSGDJDKSS Feligami SGDHDKLS 🥰🥰🥰🥰” (which, by the way, is a completely valid meta post in itself).

While we joke that Kagami is so far out of Felix’s league in every aspect — she doesn’t perceive him that way in the slightest. As far as she’s concerned, she has achieved every fourteen year old’s dream: dating the perfect cursed prince, tortured artist, evil-genius-on-a-redemption-arc combo.

She is just as enamoured with him as he is with her, and I think it’s beautiful. 🦚🐉

[yuwuta]

i loooooove homewrecker megumi so much you have no clue 😵 this is also a pipeline to toxic ex! Megumi >.<

He listens to 'boy is mine' by Ariana Grande n 'kill bill' by SZA and immediately starts thinking of you. Just all that listening/ lecturing from gojo n toji he must've gotten growing up completely wrapped his perception of relationships.

you two were dating in his mind long before he asked you out and date farrrr longer than what you think because he doesn't count (-all-) the times you've broken up

ok so here’s the thing i’m really bad at envision any kind of exes/ex-relationship with 90% of the jjk boys because there’s no… there’s no getting out of that LOL you’re locked in for life with them. most of them would, quite literally, rather die than break up 

the exception to this in my head, personally, is toji. he’s like, the fun ex to have around. you two can joke about how he’s been inside of you, and how you know he drinks tea with his pinky up but also be completely platonic. there’ll always be a funny kind of sexual and romantic history, but if you need a cheeky friend in your life, keeping toji around is the way to go. also if you ever just truly want a one-off hookup, he’s your guy

but megumi and infidelity… goes a bit too hand in hand i fear. especially megumi as your best friend… he couldn’t care if your current boyfriend lives or dies, so there is no moral weight on his shoulder knowing or acting on being in love with you. him being in love with you/dating in his head so true… you are not just single to him if you’re in a relationship with someone else, you are, inevitably, going to choose him and honestly, he’s getting tired of waiting for you to realize that he’s right for you; no matter how good of a match your boyfriend might be for you, the simple truth is megumi is a better match. you can realize that on your own, your boyfriend can realize that for himself, or megumi can step in and help you <3 

[cateyesinlove]

The Pipeline of Enemies to Lovers

Dear Gentle reader,

What a turbulent journey we have experienced together through these years.

As many who have ears have come to learn there was a break-in to the place that many have claimed to be my lair of cruelty and lies, the office was marked as vacant in The palace newspaper building, and said office was trashed and searched from floor to ceiling but rest assured nothing was found since my snake liar resides elsewhere.

It will take more than a couple of trespassers to unmask this author, I do have to applaud Mr. Colin Bridgerton for his remarkable job investigating me such a good job I almost didn't catch on but MR. Bridgerton have you not heard? Those who play with fire tend to burn and you're getting too close to this flame.

Give it your best Mr. Bridgerton, I encourage you after all who could be afraid of little old me?

Let the games begin.

Lady Whistledown is an anonymous journalist who has impacted the society of Mayfair and most of the country with its controversial pieces on high public figures from politicians to celebrities. Journalist Colin Bridgeton could not be more fed up with Lady Whistledown who Colin thinks is a disgrace for journalists out there; He can admit she has done some- SOME remarkable stuff but then she would immediately start talking about Daphne and her relationship, Anthony's reputation, Penelope's achievements and mock them and of course taunt him and get under his skin but when he finds her it's done for her, he will expose her.

This is a small preview of my story for Bridgerton!

Colin and Penelope have been friends forever and went to college together, they both wanted to be authors but Colin found his vocation in Journalism and is happy with his Career.

Penelope on the other hand got trapped in the world of editing being so talented at it. Since she isn't one to take space in a room for herself she just went with it and here she is still, she has a massive secret no one knows but a couple of people are aware of this including her Boss Agatha Danbury, owner of the newspaper she works for both as Penelope Featherington and Lady Whistledown.

Daphne is the Best PR agent currently, she has taken her career to the next level by saving the career of a massive star who happens to be her ex-boyfriend, who also happened to break her heart after cheating.

Anthony is a criminal attorney who is rather famous for his brutal court presence and for the fact that he doesn't lose, ever.

Except when he is disputing with attorney Miss Sharma, a defense attorney who seems to get all the cases that Anthony gets.

You know the contenders, now in the words of Lady Whistledown; Let the games begin.

[countrymusiclover]

7 - Love Letter

Part 8

It’s About Time

Should the reader have special moments with Memaw. What would you like them to be??

Shutting the red locker in front of me I shrieked in surprise not expecting Ryker to be standing on the other side. “Ryke! What are you doing there?”

“What would ya say about me and you getting a bite to eat?” He shrugged his shoulders.

I made a confused face. “You normally hang out with Hannah after practice.”

“Yeah normally. But I thought we don’t hang out enough anymore, just the two of us.” He replied leaning against the lockers.

I cut myself short. “Ryker, I appreciate it. But I promised Georgie I would watch him during football practice - hang on what’s the paper in his hand?” I peaked over his shoulder seeing Georgie walking past me carrying a note in one hand.

Ryker shifted in front of me trying to block my view. “I insist Y/n. Let’s go to Waffle House right now.”

“Ryker, let me see. We can go on Saturday.” I tried moving past him but he moved in front of me.

“No, let's go right now.”

“Ryker! Let me see - Veronica!” I pushed him into the locker gently and we both turned our hands for me to see Georgie walk up to Veronica about to hand her the piece of paper.

A guy that I assumed had to be her boyfriend snatched it before he could. “What's this, a love note?”

“Give that back!” Georgie reached up on his toes trying to get it back but couldn’t.

The guy chuckled, unfolding the paper reading it aloud. “Oh, I don't think so. "To my beloved Veronica, Every minute I'm away from you is an eternity. But it feels longer than that…”

“Y/n, I didn’t want you to see this.” Ryker explained standing behind me.

I clutched my hands into fists at my sides grumbling under my breath. “Veronica!” I didn’t want to be jealous of the blonde girl but I couldn’t bury my feelings deep inside.

The guy who was dating Veronica kept reading and she just sent my best friend an embarrassed look. “I can't eat, I can't sleep, it feels like there's a hole in my heart that only you can fill..."

Georgie turned on his feet quickly moving through the crowd of laughing students who were watching the whole thing. “Georgie.”

“Not now Y/n.” He shoved his way past me.

I remained there for a few seconds seeing him disappear around the corner. Ryker touches my shoulder gently, calling my attention. “Y/n, I’m sorry -ah!”

“Leave me alone! It’s never going to happen between us.” I smacked his hand running away from him and past Veronica who I wished I could punch in that moment.

My mom had already had dinner with me and my dad expected me to be over at the Cooper house, except I wasn’t for long. I heard George sr voice down the hallway when I entered through the front door of the house. “Going somewhere?”

“Alaska.” Georgie was in his bedroom stuffing things into a gym bag. “Gonna work on the pipeline.”

His dad leaned in the doorway of his bedroom not noticing me peeking in on them from the living room. “Alaska, huh? That-That's pretty far.”

“Not far enough, but it'll have to do.” Georgie responds.

Mr. Cooper enters his bedroom and I snuck around the corner to hear the rest of the conversation. “Look, Georgie, I know it feels bad right now, but... I promise it'll get better.”

“How's it gonna get better? Veronica thinks I'm a jerk, and everyone in the school's calling me Lovey Cooper. “

His dad sucked in a breath. “Ooh, that is not a good name.”

“It doesn't matter, 'cause I'm never going back to that school.”

George sr called his son’s attention. “Listen to me. Hey. You're a good-looking kid, and you got a big heart. Once we get you on a daily shower schedule, the girls are gonna be lining up.”

“I don't want girls. I want Veronica.” Georgie admitted and I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

“Yeah, maybe you'll get her and maybe you won't. But someday, you'll find the woman who was really meant for you.”

I scramble over to the couch, opening one of the magazines from the table pretending to read it when his mother walked past with a basket of laundry. “You mean like Kathryn Dempsey?”

“Alaska's beautiful. How 'bout I go with you?” Georgie’s dad mumbled.

Georgie asked him. “Who's Kathryn Dempsey?”

“I was 15 years... I was 15 years old!” His father hollered back to her and it was shortly after that I heard him leaving the room so I bolted up and out the door onto their front porch. I plopped down on the front porch swing sniffing through some tears feeling some tears falling until the front door opened. “Y/n, I didn’t know you were here. Hey are you crying?”

I wiped under my eyes trying to act like I wasn’t. “Uh no. I’m not.”

“No, something is bothering ya. So what’s wrong?” George sr came over to me sitting down beside me.

I dropped my hands in my lap avoiding his gaze. “Nothing is wrong.”

“Look, I know I’m not your father. But you’re always around like one of my kids so I’m here for you if you want to talk.” He explained letting the cricket noises fill the silent air until I finally had the courage to blurt out what I needed to say.

“I have feelings for Georgie.”

His father became nervous at that. “Oh I wasn’t thinking that but okay…um when did it start?”

“About a year or so after we made these marks together.” I rolled up the sleeve of my jacket showing him the scar on my wrist.

His dad just leaned back on the porch swing seat with his hands in his lap before he spoke. “And he’s being an idiot for not realizing it sooner. That’s why you’re out here because you’re jealous that he’s looking at other girls.”

“Yeah…I shouldn’t be that way.” I run my fingers through my hair.

George sr placed a hand on my knee causing me to meet his gaze. “You have every right to be upset. He’s got a good heart and you are a good girl around him. Eventually when he gets older I have no doubt you two will be together.”

“Thanks Mr. Cooper. I should be getting home it’s late.” Getting up from the seat I slide my backpack on my shoulder walking down the driveway making my way home.

Maybe just maybe he was going to be right about our future. That we would end up together.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

Tags just ask - @lover-of-books-and-tea @bvbwestfall @bubble-blu @liesanddreams @bethanymccauley @skeletonontheroad

[catchthewindd]

these eyes (part one) - hugh grant

two ex best friends. one party. lots of alcohol. what could go wrong?

you had an intense love/hate relationship with one hugh john mungo grant. an intense relationship, in that you loved to hate him.

the pipeline of childhood friends to adulthood enemies is not uncommon by any means, but hugh and your’s situation was by all means the definition of the word. uncommon. for in fact, you two were on the best of terms just last year. that is, until “the incident”.

“the incident”, or “that one time hugh made out with my best friend right after i confessed my feelings to him” as you like to refer to it as, absolutely shattered you. and on your birthday of all days? definitely a cad-like move on his part.

yet here you are. another year, another birthday, another excuse to cry over him. except you won’t- or you’re trying not to, anyway. you are totally over him. he’s an asshole. he quite literally ruined your life.

needless to say, he’s not invited to your birthday dinner. neither is his girlfriend: your ex best friend.

who is invited, is jamie. jamie is a sweet guy you met at work, who you think has taken a shining to you. you’re starting to warm up to him yourself, but your (unfortunately) unresolved feelings for hugh have annoyingly been getting in the way. you plan on fixing that tonight.

hugh has hurt you. the fact of the matter is, it’s time to move on. you have a perfect new suitor in jamie, it’d be foolish to let him slip away from you.

—

it’s finally party time and guests are showing up in abundance. laughter fills your usually-silent apartment, and the snack food you had set out 20 minutes ago already seems to be gone. it’s as though you’d forgotten you had invited this many people!

the party goes on as parties do, you mingle with the guests, and let them all serenade you with birthday wishes and compliments. you drink. a lot. and with dinner time fast approaching, you make it a mission to seek out jamie. surely he must have arrived by now?

as you walk through the sea of people in your living room in attempt to find jamie, you are caught off guard by a seedy blonde with ringlet curls. you’ve seen those curls before. those curls surely weren’t invited to your birthday soirée. and to your utmost shock and despair, those seedy ringlet curls had brought their fuckwit fluffy brunette boyfriend to match. she spoke with utmost confidence, “darling! so good to see you, it’s been far too long. you remember hugh, of course?

dumbfounded, you had to make a quick escape- so that’s exactly what you did, finding shelter in your room. you couldn’t face this strange reality, not now, not today. it was your birthday! this was not part of the plan!

but instead of being greeted with lonesome bliss, you saw jamie foraging around your things. he looked up at you with sad eyes. knowing eyes. you didn’t even find reason to question his whereabouts, you simply ran over to him and melted. crying into his shoulder, letting your perfectly applied birthday makeup run down your face and onto his shirt sleeve. he didn’t ask for an explanation of your sorrow, he only held you and comforted you through your time of need. jamie was so perfect for you. he was everything you could ever want in a man.

yet you felt nothing. in fact, your tears only amplified from it. this incredibly sweet, handsome, doting man was right in front of you. holding you as you broke down. yet your heart was still attached to the absolute douchebag downstairs.

once again needing to flee, you apologized to jamie profusely and swiftly left his embrace. you were running out of “safe” spaces- your apartment had only so many rooms. maybe it was logic, or maybe it was the alcohol, but you soon found yourself fully opening the already half opened bathroom door. desperate times call for desperate measures. letting out a sigh and slamming the door behind you, you sunk to your knees in another sob. at this point, party guests were surely confused to where their host had gone, and likely even more confused as to why they kept hearing loud sobbing coming from the bathroom, only breaking cries to shout a profanity or two every now and then. you were a wreck in there, so much so that it wasn’t until 10 minutes after your less-than-graceful entry to the bathroom that you realized you weren’t alone. once again, a pair of sad, knowing eyes looked at you. but these eyes didn’t belong to jamie.

these eyes belonged to hugh.

[lianecartmanstimtoy]

Sm South Park Headcanons for the characters that hold my brain hostage. (Also this is them as older teens/adults)

Kyle

-Biromantic/Asexual who just lives happily in comphet for years. He just kinda appreciates and sees the value in everyone but obviously guys just date girls. They just appreciate other men equally you know?

-King has OCD up to his god damn teeth but refuses to see a therapist because there's nothing wrong with him he's just being "proactively cautious".

-Sick kid to neurotic adult pipeline

-Very much takes comfort in the rituals and structure of Judaism

-Often ends up defaulting to mom friend despite how much his friends make fun of him for it

-He's kind of a normie. Like yeah he reads philosophy and psychology but if you try to talk to him about anything remotely indie or punk he kind of just stares at you blankly

-Basketball Guy

-Also hes the one who has a car and is exploited for it

-Does not like Stan hanging out with the Goth kids

Stan

-Closet homosexual trying so hard to be straight

-Bipolar and easily falls into deep depressive lows that he self medicates for

-Randy put him in therapy just so he could rant at the therapist about how toxic Stan is

-He believes deeply he's just a fuck up and has kind of given up on trying. Why play the rat race if your destined to lose? Might as well just party

-Gets tired of Kyle nagging him constantly

-Hangs out with the Goth Kids more and I think he and Michael become close

-He gets crushes easily but the big ones are Kyle and Michael. But Kyle's straight so that's just another reason to self destruct

-He wants to like Wendy so fucking bad. He wants to be good. He wants to be her boyfriend. He just..doesn't know how to pretend good enough to make it real

-inevitably they break up for real in highschool and it sends him into one of the deepest lows of his life

-After this he gets insanely drunk and kisses Kyle but Kyle just assumes he's out of it and never brings it up again because he doesn't want to embarrass Stan. This drives Stan mental

-His parents seriously discuss military school and Stan is considering just joining out of highschool anyways

-He's just a body why not put it to work

Eric

-HOMOHOMOHOMOHOMO ANY PRONOUNS GENDER FLUID HOMO

-So very insanely closeted out of fear of being rejected

-Kenny knows

-On anti psychotics that he regularly forgets to take

-Writes explicit fanfiction about him and his friends and posts them on A03 under different names

-Has a Twitch stream drag hustle like Finnster (initially he was using butters for this but then she came out at Margarine and said she didn't want to be a online whore because she was a respectable lady and Eric took up the mantle himself)

-Clyde is one of his regular watchers and donators but has 0 idea it's Eric

-Eric eventually blocks him because Clyde keeps sending him dick pics

-Kylekylekylekylekylekylekylekyle

-He wants his attention so bad it's insane

-His best friend is his mom

-They have weekly spa nights and watch romcoms and dating reality tv together

-He taught her a skin routine

-He has sent in online auditions for Kidzbop multiple times

-Kenny was his first kiss and first time

Kenny

-Any Pronouns genderfluid bi king

-Mostly gets He/Him'd by his friends but brushes it off

-Has done his rounds in the school but no relationship has ever lasted long

-He has a tendency to let himself be used as he sees his service and time as the only thing he can offer other people (this extends to his friends as well)

-Sweet goofy persona that quickly turns dark if someone really fucks up (this happens rarely but they're terrifying)

-She works as a mechanic apprentice outside of school and has a cobbled together motor bike she built herself

-Flirts with everyone and craves touch and affection

-Kind of one of the only people who genuinely likes Eric and sees past his bullshit

-The friend who knows how to get things

-Was Elated when Margarine came out and wants to be her boygirl wife so bad

-Microdoses some back alley E as a treat

-Only ever really hangs out with Stan when Stan wants to party

-Despite being friends with everyone Kenny often feels incredibly isolated and lonely

-Everyone calls him when they need something but who does she call when she needs something.

Michael (Goth Kid)

-he/it, stealth trans, just IDs as Queer

-Jewish but insanely quiet about it

-Used being goth initially as a way to distract kids from making fun of him for his heritage. Now he's in deep

-Very vocally loathes Eric Cartman and will beat him

-Cane is passed off for aesthetics but is a needed mobility aid for joint issues

-The older goth kids are an acting Polycule but will date outside of each other

-He starts to get close to Stan and enjoys how real he feels.

-Has a contentious relationship with Kyle and how he kind of morally lord's himself over Stan and others

-Doesnt have much of a relationship with his parents. His mom and dad are separated and although he lives with his dad his father regularly travels for business so he often gets the house alone to himself.

-Secretly takes a lot of comfort from his dad's old records

-He also has a secret hiding place in some abandoned sewer pipping where he goes to get away from everyone including his friends. Stan is the only one who knows about it

-On a first name basis with a lot of the unhoused people in South Park and will hang out with them as well

-He has a black kippah for holidays or temple (though his father rarely goes to temple anymore

(I will write more for others later this has already taken me an hour

[luffythinker]

Ah man, can i tell you about my KiriKami/Monoma & platonic Bakugo?

Ok so at first Bakugo hates Monoma but he comes around to being his friend after the last war, Monoma saw him kick the bucket so i think they are allowed to be friends after that. Monoma and Bakugo became friends he visited him in the hospital to apologize in his own way for the sports fes thing but Bakugo tells him not to and they just have a moment together

like this doesn't matter but he feels bad about it now and they seemed like they were friends in the endgame, Monoma using Bakugo's quirk to make explosions for their graduation cause his arm is messed up

Now, Kirishima and Kaminari they were dating like it was a bro thing but it evoled one day and the classmates were like "are you guys dating??" and they were like "No? i don't think so?" and one day Kaminari asked Kirishima if they could kiss MAYBE THEY WERE PLAYING SEVENMINUTES IN HEAVEN AND GOT LOCKED IN THE CLOSET TOGETHER? or maybe they were just sitting in one of their rooms together and Denki is just thinking real hard about "do me and Kirishima really look like we're dating???" and he needed to confirm it.

They kiss and it's magical so they start dating

Monoma and Kirishima have this weird relationship of Monoma keeps actively getting on his nerves and is really the only person practically on the planet who can make a nice guy like Kirishima truly mad. This somehow leads to him coming over to the 1-A dorms alot and this is mistake number 1 cause he starts going in Kirishima's room and one thing leads to another one day he wakes up in Kirishima's bed with Denki and Kiri and it's like huh, cause we are a poly now.

Monoma is just a snooty Bakugo so i would like to think of their dynamic as so cause Monoma/Kiri is just KRBK when you think about it, Bakugo and Monoma are so the same, they need somebody to make mention of certain subjects to get the ball rolling for them to speak, like "I don't need your help but since you offered i wont turn it down" is what Monoma would say while Bakugo would say "YOU VOLUNTEERED I WONT STOP YOU"

same thing another font.

i don't know if anyone as ever spoken about KamiBaku hear but i think Monoma and Kaminari would get along well enough to keep the relationship stabled but it's mostly Kiri dating two guys who aren't really dating eachother but they still like are romantically alright with kissing and being labeled as so relationshipwise.

Bakugo's is the best friend but he's like platonic with them all.

He and they are perfectly ok with kissing either of them on the mouth or anywhere on the face or hands. Monoma was not on board at first but he got used to it when he became friends with Bakugo but Bakugo isn't going out go out of his way to kiss Monoma out of the blue at first if he just felt like it

Bakugo isn't in it he's just the platonic friend

do you see my vision?

anon i read this several times and woah i can see your vision

okay so katsuki and monoma being friends is something i have been thinking about this week, something about monoma seeing bakugo dying and not even being able to blink or take his eyes away from it all really changes his brain chemistry. it starts slow, but with the end of the war monoma just cant help but to have at least some empathy for him, so it starts with that until they eventually become proper friends, which means he's more around the 1A dorm

as for kirikami i love their friends to lovers pipeline, I'm so down for the idea that they just date without knowing and everyone is like ??? bros yall dating . and they're pikachu face :O cause woah they really are, so they just continue it because it feels good and it makes a lot of sense.

and for the poly with monoma, i can see it, i really do, but like you said i don't think monoma and denki would be boyfriends themselves, like they hold hands and all but its like they are dating Kirishima more than dating each other, they still have couples dates and throuple dates depending on the vibe !! i also loooove the idea that one day monoma just wakes up in bed with them, cause it implies probably some fighting leading to sex which is so on brand for someone like monoma lmao

so yeah i totally see that and now i wish i could read some more about them

[davekat-sucks]

Since it’s pride month I think a fascinating thing about the progress of how LGBT people are represented in society and media is how queer couples became more accepted into the mid-to-late 2010s and ordinarily shows that only had straight couples were allowed to, and sometimes tried, to add a non-heterosexual couple into the show’s canon.

I think the most fascinating example of this was bubbeline, or the ship between Princess Bubblegum and Marceline the vampire queen from the cartoon Adventure time.

The show ran from 2010 to 2018 and was in the prime position to build this ship up in later seasons, which helped since as far back as season 3 of the show Marceline and Bonnabel had been implied to be friends for a long time.

What’s also interesting was that in the early days, the show may not have intended for them to get together romantically, as they both had ex-boyfriends.

Episode 1 of the show has P.B. Try to revive her old boyfriend Old Mr. Creampuff from the dead, and another episode has Finn and Jake tricked by Marceline’s ex boyfriend to remove the memory of their breakup.

So a lot of the early seasons of Adventure Time really imply these two women to be straight, until the later seasons. They hang out together A LOT in the later seasons, and share a canon kiss in the finale, which really coincides with the Obgerfell Vs Hobbes court case and changes in censorship for kids media.

And to be fair, they were the best fit for each other. The only primary male characters Princess Bubblegum knew were Finn, who is underage until the 1st season of the show, Jake who is a dog and in a relationship with her steed and friend lady rainicorn, and her serial kidnapper the Ice King. Marceline was like, the only other adult who was nice and obviously attracted to her. It’s a funny pipeline from 2 straight women to a sapphic (I think) pairing between 2 bisexual women.

So I think Adventure Time is really a time capsule of how LGBT representation progressed with the legal protection of gay marriage by the supreme court.

Now I know this is a Homestuck account so I’ll finish off with an addendum.

Homestuck was ahead of the curve since it doesn’t have to deal with federal regulation by broadcast media by television.

Hussie had canon same-sex couples in the comic by 2012, implied same-sex attraction between 2 characters (Kanya and Rose) by 2011, and a race of Bisexual aliens (and Kanaya said to be a lesbian exception to the rule) by 2010.

This representation really helped struggling queer people finding their identity in the early 2010s. It’s a good thing that came from queer Homestuck ships, for better (RoseMary) or for worse (DAVE-KAT)

It just sucks that Finn's character had to be ruined during Adventure Time's run. But I can definitely agree that Bubbleline definitely is one of the better cartoons to show how LGBT was able to be pushed through TV media during its time. Rosemary's buildup was definitely better in early acts of Homestuck. Just wish that Act 6 and Post Retcon did more besides being that lesbian couple. Cause at least with Bubbline, the two girls are distinct even when they are apart. Like Marceline being a vampire queen, can play the bass, beautiful vocals, and has quite a heavy backstory. Princess Bubblegum is a girl who is also a scientist, has committed atrocities in order for her to stay in power, and her origins are just as shocking as well. Even when they had episodes together before they were declared as a couple, the two girls are separate characters with their own dreams, motivations, and goals that isn't always about the partner. You don't get to see or hear anymore of Rose's psychoanalysis. Not even the silly girl side of her that isn't from alcohol. Where is her playful side that she would do with John or Dave? She probably treat Karkat the same way she did towards John since they are leaders and parallel to each other. Kanaya doesn't bring up fashion anymore or do anything on the meteor for people like Karkat, Dave, or Terezi. Hell, even in Post Retcon, she still seemed chill with Vriska despite that she was her ex-crush. Was she just happy to have two bad girls on the meteor that she would rather watch them in admiration and do nothing else? Homestuck may have been the earlier presence of LGBT themes and characters, but payoff for it all as it progressed just got worse that the built up for it was better in comparison.

[grigori77]

2023 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)

30.  SICK – the year’s first real horror cinema surprise was also one of its VERY FIRST standouts period, a brilliant little streaming sleeper from Peacock which snuck in under the radar but EFFORTLESSLY captured my attention AND the darker parts of my imagination.  Best of all, though, it was SO COOL to see legendary revisionist horror screenwriter Kevin Williamson return to the “big screen” again after spending so long plying his trade on TV – I was VERY MUCH the target audience for Scream when it came out, I just ATE UP his delicious post-modern deconstruction of the slasher genre and its subsequent follow-ups (although Robert Rodriguez’ The Faculty, his fantastic take on alien invasion movie tropes, remains my very favourite of Willaimson’s creations to date), even if it did lead to a fresh sub-genre which, paradoxically, became increasingly tired and toothless as the years progressed.  In the end, I think it’s probably A GOOD THING he took a step back – he just needed a chance to rethink things and find a fresh angle to come at the genre … and BY THE GODS has he ever found one with THIS.  Interestingly, for Williamson at least, the Pandemic couldn’t have come along at a better time, giving him fertile ground indeed in which to grow a particularly potent darkly comic slasher which EASILY lives up to his masterworks.  Taking place in the early days of the original outbreak, when the first Lockdown was just starting, infection alerts and self-isolation were only just becoming a major thing and everybody was PANICKING over how much they really DIDN’T yet know about what was REALLY going on, the setting was already ripe for some pretty intense, chaotic storytelling … so adding a brutal serial killer with a penchant for killing off the idiots who flagrantly flaunted the COVID safety restrictions and purposefully went out of their way to pretend things were the same as normal was a slick move.  The main bulk of the narrative revolves around three college kids in some nondescript part of the US – Parker (Blockers and The Society’s Gideon Adlon), a well-off party girl who’s looking to make some major changes in her life, and her best friend Miri (up-and coming R&B artist Beth Million), who go to Parker’s family’s expansive country home to quarantine in comfort, and Parker’s newly-EX boyfriend DJ (Man of Steel and Teen Wolf’s Dylan Sprayberry), who turns up ostensibly to try and patch things up between them but may simply have come for an opportunistic hook-up – who are targeted by a killer who subsequently hunts them during a night of fraught tension, smartly staged stalk-and-slash set-pieces and a hefty dose of Williamson’s characteristic jet black-but-enjoyably geeky sense of humour, which is this time pitched to a particularly sharp edge of biting finger-on-the-pulse satire given the rich socio-political real-life material he’s able to mine here.  The small but extremely potent cast are all BRILLIANT, although the film really is DOMINATED by Adlon, who once again shows that she’s destined for GREAT THINGS INDEED in the future with a brilliant turn that runs an impressive gamut from irresponsibly entitled brat to vitally determined survivor once circumstances have fully driven her to take proper responsibility for her childish behaviour, making for a compellingly sympathetic young heroine we find easy enough to root for.  It probably helps the man behind the camera is John Hyams (All Square, Alone), son of legendary genre-hopping director Peter Hyams, who shows he’s definitely inherited his dad’s impressive skill by crafting a lean, tight and precise slice of thrilling cinema which takes full advantage of a tight budget and (mostly) a single location, which results in a brilliant little comedy horror gem that I’d heartily recommend folk hunt down on streaming, or at the very least keep in mind for Halloween …

29.  HOW TO BLOW UP A PIPELINE – it’s always nice when a sharp little indie banger sneaks in under the radar to place on one of my lists for the year, and this impressive critically acclaimed underdog thriller definitely shaped up as one of the year’s most memorable examples.  It’s a very low-fi, gritty down-and-dirty procedural slice-of-life thriller about a motley collection of eco-terrorists banding together to sabotage an oil pipeline in West Texas, focusing almost entirely on this core group of disillusioned youths played by eight uniformly EXCEPTIONAL actors each handing in genuine (ahem) dynamite performances.  Ariele Barer (Marvel’s Runaways), The Revenant’s Forrest Goodluck, American Honey’s Sasha Lane and Marcus Scribner (probably best known as the voice of She-Ra & the Princesses of Power’s Bow) are the undeniable stand-outs here, but all of these kids are ON FIRE throughout, showing they’ve got truly BRIGHT futures ahead of them indeed, while Irene Bedard (Smoke Signals) also impresses in a supporting turn as Joanna, an FBI agent who may be onto their plans … the film bounces between the varying points of view amongst the characters, gradually unveiling their motivations to commit a morally complex terrorist act through a series of scattered flashbacks punctuating the planning, execution and aftermath of the bombing itself, with writer-director Daniel Goldhaber (Cam, here co-adapting Andreas Maim’s incendiary non-fiction novel with Ariele Barer herself and Cam’s co-writer Jordan Sjol) weaving a suitably taut and atmospheric slowburn path throughout the flawlessly executed narrative, the film brilliantly building its wire-taut tension to a rewardingly cathartic climax which is as provocative as the challenging subject matter.  This is a film that asks some VERY BIG QUESTIONS and delivers some suitably complicated and rightfully TROUBLING answers, a razor sharp piece of indie cinema which definitely deserves the critical acclaim and cult hit status it’s earned …

28.  COCAINE BEAR – gods, if EVER there was a true story that seemed TAILOR MADE for cinema, it’s the bizarre tale of Cokey the Bear, AKA Pablo Eskobear, an American black bear that died after ingesting 34 keys of cocaine that were dumped out of a smuggler’s cargo plane over the Tennessee wilderness in 1985.  That being said, it’s not a huge surprise it’s taken Hollywood SO LONG to actually get it made, perhaps it’s just TOO CRAZY a concept for it to have been made before now.  Ultimately, the film takes A LOT of liberties with the truth to instead craft an entertaining story, but in the end that’s definitely the smart move, simply using the concept as a springboard to craft a gloriously batshit horror comedy with a JET BLACK sense of humour populated by an offbeat collection of quirky characters.  Keri Russell stars as Sari, a nurse and single mother who has to brave the woods in order to find her young daughter Dee Dee (The Florida Project’s Brooklyn Prince), who’s playing hooky in the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest with her best friend Henry (Sweet Tooth’s Christian Convery) right when Cokey goes on her drug-fuelled homicidal rampage; meanwhile, recently bereaved widower Eddie (Solo’s Alden Ehrenreich) and his best friend Daveed (Straight Outta Compton’s O’Shea Jackson Jr.) are two drug cartel enforcers reluctantly scouring the area in search of their lost product at the behest of Eddie’s overbearing St Louis drug kingpin father Syd White (the late, great Ray Liotta, to whom the film is dedicated); and then there’s hapless but dogged Knoxville detective Bob (the venerable Isaiah Whitlock Jr.), who knows he can bust White if he can just get his hands on the evidence.  All three parties converge in the park while the bear wreaks merry havoc in Elizabeth Banks’ third film as a director (after Pitch Perfect 2 and the CRIMINALLY mistreated and overlooked Charlie’s Angels reboot), which looks like it might FINALLY get people to start taking her serious BEHIND the camera as well as IN FRONT of it – this is a proper laugh-riot of a film which is also delightfully non-PC, and it’s liberally peppered with impressively blood-soaked effects to thrill the gore-hounds as well as an impressively well-realised digital animal character in the eponymous drug-addled beastie.  The cast are brilliant too, Russell and Ehrenreich both particularly impressing in their respective nominal lead roles while the kids are EXCEPTIONAL (particularly Convery, getting to gleefully overact as one of the most hyperactive-yet-not-irritating kids I’ve ever seen on screen), and it’s both enriching and a little heartbreaking to watch Liotta once again act his socks off in one of his very last film roles; that being said, several of the scenes are thoroughly STOLEN by the irrepressible Margo Martindale, who’s clearly having the time of her life in one of her most gloriously OTT roles as foul-mouthed, much put-upon park Ranger Liz.  Ultimately this is a horror comedy where the balance is definitely tipped very much in favour of the laughs over the scares, but that’s fine, because with a concept this batshit bonkers we were always gonna find it too funny to ever be remotely scary, so the end result is one of THE FUNNIEST MOVIES I ran across in the cinema all year, rightfully revelling in its own inherent irreverence.  It’s just about the most fun you could ever expect it to be, which is just what you want from a movie about a cocaine bear, really …

27.  THE FLASH – oh boy … yeah, this one is gonna be a COMPLICATED talk.  This was one TROUBLED project from day one, from the major shake-ups surrounding the Joss Whedon-compromised Justice League film and the subsequent mess THAT unleashed, through the whole conflicting debate over Zack Snyder’s original vision for the DCEU, and then the eventual collapse of the Cinematic Universe itself, this film, originally entitled Flashpoint (which personally I like A WHOLE LOT more, actually, since it really does pay DIRECT reference to the actually storyline they went with) went through a whole collection of incarnations and reiterations and, for a while, it was starting to look like we might NEVER see it hit our cinema screens at all … and that’s without even mentioning star Ezra Miller’s ongoing legal troubles and essential CANCELLING after their continued outrageous, unacceptable off-set behaviour, which looked set to torpedo the film all on its own.  Honestly, I have to admit I was MYSELF a little wary going in, not because of these particular problems but more just the prospect of what I would actually do if, in spite of all this, I actually still LIKED IT … unfortunately for me, that was VERY MUCH the case, which is why we’re here in the first place. 

But I must forge on, and so I’m gonna just take this film on ITS OWN face value and ignore the external problems … at least until THE END of the review … because The Flash is, actually, pretty fucking GREAT.  Barry Allen (Miller) is finally coming into his own as a fully-fledged member of the Justic League, even if this does frequently mean he’s essentially cleaning up the extreme messes left behind when Batman/Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) gets involved in particularly BIG potential world-shattering events, as brilliantly illustrated in the film’s suitably SPECTACULAR opening set-piece, which does a BEAUTIFUL job of not only letting us know EXACTLY what this incarnation of the Flash is actually capable of, but also revealing Barry’s own distinctly unique, offbeat and, frankly, really rather ADORABLE personal style of superheroism.  Then the plot itself kicks off when Barry’s father Henry (Ron Livingstone), serving life in prison for the wrongfully-convicted murder of Barry’s mother Nora (Pan’s Labyrinth’s wonderful Maribel Verdu), sees his latest (and, it looks like, FINAL) appeal fall flat due to a crucial new piece of evidence turning out to be useless, and Barry decides he's had enough of ignoring a particularly potent aspect of his superpowers –

the ability to run SO FAST that he can actually GO BACK IN TIME!!!  So he races back to the day of his mother’s death and tweaks circumstances so that she survives, only for Barry to then get punted off track before he can return to the present by an unknown entity within “the Speedforce” which then lands him in 2013, just days before Earth’s invasion by the hostile Kryptonian forces of General Zod (Michael Shannon), as seen in Man of Steel.  Still with us so far?  Yeah, well it gets EVEN MORE complicated, cuz it turns out that, while his mum is now STILL ALIVE, Barry hasn’t got his powers in this universe, which means that he has to reform the Justice League himself in THIS timeline in order to defeat Zod.  Except that there are FAR MORE consequences to messing with time than Barry ever took into account set to make things all but insurmountably complicated for him to succeed … beyond this we’re getting into DANGEROUS spoiler territory, beyond the fact that these new developments give rise to whole fresh and very complicated ideas of alternative universes somewhat akin to what the MCU’s already started experimenting with (which is also, actually, something that the DC comics universe does ALL THE BLOODY TIME), which gives rise to whole new incarnations of beloved characters from the established DCEU, some of which HAVE already been revealed in the trailers and beyond, but others not so much, so … yeah, anyway, it’s a glorious MESS of a narrative, but somehow this film does a REALLY IMPRESSIVE job of navigating this jumble in an impressively coherent and breezy way that ultimately makes this a whole lot of fun to watch, actually.  Of course, the lion’s share of the praise for this HAS TO go to screenwriter Christina Hodson (Birds of Prey & the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) for wrangling the UNHOLY MESS of development done for the previous incarnations into an actual WORKING script, which was then brought to life with suitably brave and adventurous SKILL by director Andy Muschietti (Mama and It Chapter One and Two), but the uniformly EXCEPTIONAL cast shoulder a good deal of that responsibility too –

Miller may be problematic in real life, but there can be no denying that he is FUCKING BRILLIANT in his signature role, crafting a hyperactive, ultra-awkward social misfit of a superhero that us various underdog kids just can’t help rooting for, while it is a MASSIVE pleasure to get to see MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE Batman return as this AU’s altered version of Bruce Wayne, the legendary Michael Keaton himself again proving why he really is THE VERY BEST VERSION of the character out there (and I will accept NO ARGUMENT AT ALL about that, I swear you can all FIGHT ME on this particular hill upon which I am determined to DIE if I must), and Livingstone and Verdu bring an IMMENSE amount of pathos to their characters throughout which makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR why Barry tries SO HARD to save them both, and it’s also great fun getting to see Michael Shannon back as the Big Bad here again, I always really liked this spectacular scenery-chewing version of Zod.  For me, though, the biggest win here has to be The Young & the Restless’ Sasha Calle, making her big screen debut as the most impressive and DCEU-consistent incarnation of Kara Zor-El, aka SUPERGIRL, that we could ever have hoped for, she’s a truly AWESOME creation, EASILY as badass as Henry Cavill’s Supes but also a good deal more complex as a character too.  Ultimately it’s a shame that circumstances mean that we likely won’t get to see more of her in future projects, much like Keaton’s returning Batman, as they’re definitely the unexpected heart and soul of the film, easily delivering in the most impressively iconic set-pieces and memorable character beats.  Indeed, this is SO BLOODY BRILLIANT all round as a film – from its spectacular action sequences, through its frequent gleefully anarchic screwball humour, to a variety of impressive jaw-dropping game-changer twists in the narrative – that the fact that the DCEU itself is officially over and all of this means PRECISELY ZERO in the face of where it’s all going in James Gunn’s incoming Cinematic Universe reboot makes this feel all the more ultimately pointless, which lends any viewing a bittersweet aftertaste no matter HOW enjoyable it all is.  I mean granted, it’s NOT perfect (there is, famously, some pretty clunky CGI that ALMOST takes you out of the experience, especially in the climactic sequence when we see the timelines start to collide), but then very few of the DCEU movies HAVE BEEN anyway, and this one still works just fine for what it is.  So it may not have any actual VALUE for the series moving forward, but it’s still a really great movie that MORE THAN deserves to be seen for its own merits, and I highly recommend you give it a chance anyway.  At least Gunn and co have seen the sense to keep Muschietti onboard for their reboot (namely helming the new DCU’s Batman reboot The Brave & the Bold), and if they’ve any more sense they’ll bring Christina Hodson back for more too …

26.  THE EQUALIZER 3 – Director Antoine Fuqua and Denzel Washington have had a long and extremely fruitful working relationship, from their earliest collaboration on his best-known film, Training Day (which finally landed Washington his long-overdue best actor Oscar, although many of us agree that it SHOULD have gone to him a few years prior for The Hurricane), through the EXTREMELY impressive remake of the classic western The Magnificent Seven, to their most lucrative and long-running collab to date, a series of feature adaptations of a cult classic TV thriller show from the 80s which has now reached its THIRD instalment and STILL seems to be running at full steam with no sign of flagging.  Indeed, this just might be THE BEST ONE YET … Washington once again effortlessly delivers a coolly sophisticated, often understated but still typically deeply nuanced turn as Robert McCall, the former special-forces soldier turned SOCOM operative who reemerged from self-imposed faked-death-retirement in the first film in order to deliver bloody retribution for the brutal assault of a young girl, only to subsequently find a new calling as a freelance guardian angel for the weak and powerless who have nowhere else to turn with a dangerous problem.  This time round his antiheroic adventures has brought him to Italy, where the ill-fated end of his latest operation sees him near death from a bullet in his back, being nursed back to health in the remote coastal town of Altamonte.  It’s here that he finally finds that true peace that’s so long eluded him as he recovers from his injuries, but he finds himself ultimately dragged back into the fray when a

Camorra crime outfit from Naples, looking to expand their operation to new territories, starts trying to exploit the townsfolk that Robert has grown so close to beyond their breaking point … ultimately this is a more slowburn, understated affair than the previous two films, but that actually proves to be this instalment’s greatest strength, allowing us to get closer to our Equalizer than ever before, as well as the people he’s driven to help, which makes this BY FAR the most emotionally investing film in the trilogy, and makes us root for Robert like never before as we wait for him to FINALLY bring the pain to these Mafioso thugs.  That dam-break, when they finally come, is as viscerally intense as we’ve come to expect from the series, but thanks to the additional groundwork this time round the kills and cathartic payback delivered feel more satisfyingly substantial, while the film’s greatest pleasures ultimately lie more in the anticipation as Fuqua cranks the tension tighter and we edge further forward in our seats.  Once again, the supporting cast all shine through, with Andrea Scarduzio (Colour On the Cross) giving great bad guy as subtly reptilian Mob boss Vincent Quaranta, ably backed up by Andrea Dodero (Thou Shalt Not Hate) as Vincent’s vicious, jumped up thug of a little brother Marco, while Gaia Scodellaro (CentroVetrine) and Eugenio Mastrandeo (From Scratch) deftly show us what’s so worth fighting for in this town as effervescently friendly local café owner Aminah and Altamonte’s principled but pragmatically fair sole Carabinieri Gio Bonucci; the biggest standout, however, is Dakota Fanning as Emma Collins, the smart and dogged FBI agent who ends up tracking Robert down following his involvement in the opening showdown and uncovers a whole nest of previous overlooked criminal chaos.  At the end of the day though, this is ONCE AGAIN every inch Washington’s film, the erstwhile star clearly enjoying himself immensely in one of the best and most iconic

roles of his career, although this third instalment looks like it might be the last Equalizer with him in the lead since it becomes abundantly clear that it’s looking to wind things up for Robet’s final adventure in a suitably satisfying way.  That being said, there’s definitely room, interest and clear demand for more from both the fanbase AND the creatives here, with the pervading theory being that we may be going back to the early days of McCall’s time with the CIA, in which case the obvious choice moving forward would be to let John David Washington step into his dad’s shoes as young Robert.  In truth it’s the only smart choice …

25.  ANT-MAN & THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA – coming off the back of 2022’s decidedly hit-and-miss big screen slate for Disney and Marvel’s current flagship property, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, THIS past year’s first MCU release had A LOT of eyes on it.  Gods know, I definitely had TWO OF ‘EM … and it probably wasn’t the best title to be laying all this weight on, either – the Ant-Man movies in particular have always been a bit of a marmite property within the larger universe, with as many detractors as fans, which definitely didn’t help things here.  If this turned out to be third time unlucky for Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang and the rest, it could spell much larger disaster for the MCU overall, or at the very least signify that the cracks are definitely growing beyond the studios’ capacity to patch ‘em up on the run.  So I’ll admit, I went into this one with a whole lot of trepidation … was it unwarranted?  Well, being completely honest … not ENTIRELY.  Tried-and-tested comedy director Peyton Reed’s Ant-Man films have always been a pretty mad collection anyway, as much a full-blown comedy sub-franchise as the Guardians of the Galaxy movies or Thor under Taika Waititi, but even so they still managed to keep ONE FOOT on the ground even while the rest was set EXTENSIVELY in the Quantum Realm, but this one has somewhat jumped the shark.  Granted, part of this film’s particular OTT outlandishness and unabashed WACKINESS is down to narrative necessity – giving too much away plot-wise unfortunately runs the risk of dropping some MASSIVE spoilers, but it’s at least safe to say that the lion’s share of the story takes place ENTIRELY in the Quantum Realm this time, and it’s a place which is A WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT from anything we might have imagined from our very brief visits in Ant-Man & the Wasp and Avengers: Endgame.  For a start, it’s A WHOLE LOT BIGGER than we thought it was, and MUCH more heavily populated by some truly WEIRD SHIT … the film also has some major heavy-lifting to do with regards to setting up the Big Bad for Phase 5 and 6 both – Kang the Conqueror (The Last Black Man In San Francisco and Creed III’s Jonathan Majors), a Multiverse-based Thanos level threat we first encountered (sort of) in 2021’s runaway hit first season of Loki.  This at least is one of the areas in which the movie definitely SUCCEEDED – ultimately problematic as he may have become since the film’s release, Majors at least did a commendable job of establishing one of the franchise’s most interesting and effective supervillains, a near God Tier Bad Guy who’s clearly gonna give the whole Avengers roster a run for their money when they finally come face to face with him (in whatever recast form he ultimately takes).  The plot, such as it is, is pure scrambled bananas, a heavyweight mindfuck it’s best to just DISENGAGE the brain to go with in order to get proper enjoyment

out of – this is definitely a cinematic GUILTY PLEASURE, and trying to take it even remotely seriously immediately draws the eye to a thousand gaping plot-holes and glaring narrative stumbles.  At least the patented stunning, primary coloured visuals, winning sense of humour and cavalcade of delightfully wacky set-pieces (the clone-spawning “probability explosion” sequence is a particularly overblown, super-trippy highlight with an unexpected tear-jerk factor built in) are all fully functional and behaving correctly, and the thoroughly endearing cast all deliver admirably with nary an off-note hint of miscasting – Rudd and Evangeline Lilly (returning as Hope van Dyne AKA the titular Wasp) are both still pitch perfect, while it’s nice to see Michael Douglas and PARTICULARLY Michelle Pfeiffer getting to do a whole lot more this time round as Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne, and the glaring Michael Pena-shaped hole is ALMOST filled by a few other quality comedic turns from the likes of deadpan laugh-MASTER Bill Murray and David Dastmalchian (here returning in a VERY interesting but also very DIFFERENT role to what we’ve seen from him here before), as well as a surprise returning face (ahem) from this trilogy’s past.  Meanwhile, alongside Majors there are other similarly noteworthy series newcomers who make BIG IMPRESSIONS, from Z Nation and The Mandalorian’s Katy O’Brien (who’s been a growing favourite of mine for a little while now), who’s a completely EPIC badass I wanna see A LOT more of in the future as hard-nosed Quantum freedom fighter Jentorra, to Kathryn Newton (Supernatural, Freaky), making the role of Scott’s now (pretty much) full-grown daughter Cassie ENTIRELY her own, and she’s clearly got a MAJOR future ahead of her in the MCU herself now she’s started carving out her own super-powered secret identity (roll on Young Avengers, I say!).  The movie may be another flawed, somewhat unwieldy and occasionally downright CLUNKY beast, but the franchise is still managing to stand up where it counts, and compared to the likes of Thor: Love & Thunder and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever it definitely holds up a good deal better in its own right.  Most of all, though, it’s A WHOLE LOT of pure, unadulterated FUN, which is ultimately exactly what you want from a big primary-coloured superhero blockbuster.  In the end, it still remains to be seen if the MCU can be clawed back from the brink it’s still teetering perilously on the edge of, but despite all that’s still wrong with it, this is at least a VERY SMALL step back in the right direction …

24.  THE PALE BLUE EYE – largely sneaking in under the radar on Netflix to start the New Year off, the latest offering from highly acclaimed indie writer-director Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart, Black Mass, Antlers) is, much as we’d likely expect from such a consistently varied, genre-hopping filmmaker, a strange, unique and deeply intriguing beast of a film.  Adapted from Louis Bayard’s well-received speculative fiction novel about a young Edgar Allan Poe aiding the investigation of a bafflingly macabre murder in the US Military Academy at West Point in the early 1830s.  Christian Bale returns with typical stoic, intense and magnificently brooding megawatt presence for his THIRD leading man tour of duty for Cooper (after Out of the Furnace and Hostiles) as Augustus Landor, a former West Point graduate-turned misanthropic former detective brought in to lead the investigation into the brutal hanging and evisceration (with additional heart-removal) of a young cadet that’s baffling the faculty and local police, which is soon compounded when additional bodies start piling up.  He’s aided in his endeavours by another cadet, the young Poe himself (played to PERFECTION by Harry Potter’s own Harry Melling, continuing his meteoric and deeply impressive rise to prominence with another TOUR-DE-FORCE performance here), while the clues lead to a variety of deeply troubling twists and revelations as well as an intriguing collection of suitably odd and often highly charismatic characters played by the sterling likes of Lucy Boynton, Toby Jones, Simon McBurney and a fascinatingly unusual turn from Robert Duvall, although the real standout here is a truly MAGNIFICENT career-best performance from Gillian Anderson.  Cooper piles on the story’s doom-laden gothic atmosphere to great effect throughout while cranking up the slowburn and deeply uncomfortable suspenseful tension throughout, while the plot is nothing short of MACHIAVELLIAN in its levels of ingenious labyrinthine intelligence, dropping an ultimate denouement that you really have to be paying SERIOUS ATTENTION to see coming, and the production design, costumes, period detail and, most of all, the thoroughly MOODY bleak-midwinter cinematography make for a freezing cold but thoroughly rewarding feast for the eyes for the most discerning film-fanatic.  Altogether Cooper’s delivered another winner, and I hope he continues to make films this good well into the future.

23.  DOOR MOUSE – Avan Jogia may be best known as an actor in fare like Caprica, Zombieland: Double Tap and Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, but his debut feature as a writer-director definitely shows he’s got a lot of potential as a genuine filmmaking talent moving forward.  This is an edgy, offbeat and enjoyably quirky little indie oddity that CLEARLY doesn’t care to play by anyone’s conventional rules, telling its unapologetically DARK and dirty little story the way IT WANTS TO without ever trying to spell its message out for the viewer.  Riverdale’s Hayley Law is, as ever, simply MESMERISING as Mouse, a tough, hard-bitten burlesque dancer looking to make a better life for herself as a comic book creator, only for fate to throw a wrench in the works for her when girls at her club start disappearing under mysterious circumstances.  Her resulting investigation leads to the shocking realisation that they’re being kidnapped into a life of sexual slavery, and it looks like she’s going to have to make a bold and very dangerous choice in order to effect a rescue … as always, Law simply OWNS the screen, powering the story along with equal parts guarded bravado and well-hidden wounded vulnerability, and she’s ably supported by the likes of Keith Powers (Straight Outta Compton) as Mouse’s best friend Ugly, the club’s unassuming but VERY capable bouncer, the great Famke Janssen as Mama, the club’s owner and Mouse’s laconic mother figure, and Jogia himself as her ex-boyfriend, local drug-dealing hood Mooney.  The plot twists and turns with suitably pulpy skill while Mouse’s comic book bleeds into the narrative through striking imagery and quirky little animated episodes, while the film tackles big, dark themes with an unflinching eye and refuses to deliver easy answers, particularly in the cathartic but suitably JET BLACK ending.  This is a hell of a debut for a promising new filmmaking talent, then, and I’d LOVE to spend some more time with Mouse herself if Jogia and Law are willing …

22.  SHAZAM: FURY OF THE GODS – it’s interesting that, at least on here, the DC Cinematic Universe (AKA the DCEU) has managed to stand up so well this past year, especially given the recent MAJOR upheavals that have rocked the franchise as a whole.  Not least because said Universe is essentially about to get hit with a Hard Reset under the guidance of new DC Studios CEO James Gunn, so none of this even MATTERS any more going forward … certainly this fact has NOT been lost on cinemagoers, who were already starting to pull away when Black Adam came out in late 2022 and subsequently seemed content to STAY away IN DROVES for this one, likely waiting to give it a go in the privacy and safety of their own homes once it hit streaming.  In a way this sounded a pre-emptive death knell for the DCEU which I was genuinely sceptical about it recovering from … which is a shame, because 2019’s Shazam! was one of the franchise’s BEST FEATURES, a gleefully anarchic post-modern deconstruction of the overblown superhero antics the franchise largely glorified before while never taking itself particularly seriously but simply playing itself with just the right amount of knowing wink-and-nod.  Even more of a shame, then, that this follow-up has proven to be SUCH a performance TURKEY, because it’s JUST AS GOOD as the first one, taking all the lessons learned from the first movie to heart and delivering more of everything that really WORKED once again while trying something new and fresh to expand on this little corner of the Universe with impressive aplomb and consummate skill. 

Returning director David F. Sandberg (Lights Out) once again delivers in HIGH STYLE and customary spooky flair as he and returning screenwriter Henry Gayden (Earth To Echo, There’s Someone In Your House), along with Fast & Furious franchise lynchpin scribe Chris Morgan, expand on the adventures of coming-of-age young hero Billy Batson (Andi Mack’s Asher Angel) and his (still unnamed) superpowered alter ego (Zachary Levi), alongside his now similarly gifted teenaged foster siblings, as the Daughters of Atlas – Hespera (Helen Mirren), Kalypso (Lucy Liu) and Anthea (Rachel Zegler), a trio of immensely powerful but (somewhat) morally dubious classical Greek goddesses – come to claim their powers for their own in order to rejuvenate the Tree of Life and punish Mankind for its wickedness.  The usual existential high stakes, then.  Angel and Levi are, once again, ON FIRE here, the former star of Chuck in particular once again proving what an undisputable comedic MASTER he is while they both deliver MAGNIFICENTLY in the dramatic moments too, while their returning co-stars and sterling veteran support are once again just as great as before, It’s Jack Dylan Grazer particularly getting to really SHINE this time round in a particularly WEIGHTY role that nonetheless once again manages to utilise his own impressive comedic talents to full effect too, while it’s also GREAT to see This Is Us’ Faith Herman get a much more expanded role this time round as the irrepressible Darla; Djimon Hounsou, meanwhile, also gets a lot more to do as he returns as the enjoyably crabby and pompous Wizard Shazam, who’s none too happy with Billy for breaking the staff last time round and setting this all off in the first place.  The Daughters, meanwhile, are FANTASTIC antagonists, Liu and Mirren clearly enjoying the opportunity to be flamboyant, majestic and over-the-top in proper Shakespearean

style, while Zegler invests “Anne” with a good deal more moral fibre and complexity as the most sympathetic (and ultimately conflicted) of the trio.  Sandberg and co again deliver IN SPADES on the action, atmospherics, gorgeously exotic design and sheer creativity which made the first movie such an unexpected treat, while also delivering more of that winning, sometimes downright SCREWBALL BONKERS humour to keep it entertaining and let you know that, just like its predecessor, this film knows FULL WELL how ridiculous it is and is fully prepared to just OWN IT.  The end result is, ultimately, one of the best of the closing slate of DCEU films, which just makes it even sadder to think that they probably won’t continue the story once the franchise reboots.

21.  GODZILLA MINUS ONE – as much as I LOVE the new efforts of Warner Bros’ impressively robust Monsterverse Expanded Universe to bring the greatest big screen kaiju of them all to life, I am not even REMOTELY surprised that it took a Japanese writer-director to truly get right down to the heart of the character with what feels like the truest, most respectful and, quite simply, VERY BEST big screen reworking of the classic original to date.  Mostly I just count myself lucky I was able to find a showing at my local cinema that I could actually get to – this is definitely one of those features that really does DESERVE to be seen on the BIG screen.  Writer-director Takashi Yamazaki certainly has an impressive track record, having helmed the likes of Space Battleship Yamato, The Great War of Archimedes and Lupin III: The First, but even so, this came somewhat out of the blue to not only become a MASSIVE, runaway hit in Japan but also in foreign markets, particularly blowing away western audiences who are universally praising it as one of THE greatest movies of this decade so far.  All right … from a purely critical point of view, I may not quite think THAT about this, but this IS an EXTREMELY GOOD FILM, Yamazaki guiding an impressively game cast and clearly deeply committed crew to create a work of rare emotional power and uplifting intensity that tells a breathless tale of the unbreakable power of the human spirit even in the face of HORRIFIC cataclysmic events … a theme which has, of course, remained close to the hearts of the Japanese ever since Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which famously directly informed Ishiro Honda’s beloved original.  This time round, Godzilla is a pure, monstrous and thoroughly TERRIFYING force of nature throughout the film, a devastating and unstoppable mutated aberration created by the fallout of America’s H-bombs, which is unleashing unfathomable chaos across post-World War II Japan, leading a band of desperate civilians to take matters into their own hands and attempt a desperate stand to stop the horror before all is lost.  Ryunosuke Kamiki (probably best known for his years of work as one of Studio Ghibli’s key voice actors) proves a compellingly fallible hero as deeply traumatised failed kamikaze pilot Koichi Shikishima, who finds himself battling internal demons even worse than the monster he’s up against in the real world, ably supported by Minami Hanabe (The Great War of Archimedes) as Noriko, the spirited young adoptive mother that Koichi takes in after returning from the war and forms a tight bond with, Hidetaka Yoshiaki (Always: Sunset On Third Street) as Professor Kenji Noda, the former Naval weapons engineer who becomes Koichi’s mentor, and Munetaka Aoki (Rurouni Kenshin) as Sosaku Tachibana, a former Naval fighter mechanic suffering from his own deep-seated traumas after the War.  This is an interesting departure from the classic Kaiju cinema recipe, because while the Big G is definitely a powerful and potent threat that casts a very BIG shadow over events here, Minus One is ultimately less of a monster movie than a movie with a monster IN IT, Yamazaki preferring to focus on the human story and concentrate our attention on the horrors these people have to endure at the unfathomably massive claws of this terrible creature, certainly physical but predominantly mental and emotional.  That’s not to say it ain’t suitably potent in the action stakes, EASILY delivering some suitably THRILLING set-pieces while the creature himself and the chaos he unleashes is portrayed with impressively executed visual effects flair … it’s just that, ultimately, this is a film which is much more of a triumph of GREAT WRITING, peerless direction and awards-worthy performances from an astonishing cast.  In other words, it’s just a really GREAT FILM, period.  Which makes this something TRULY SPECIAL after all, I guess …