#their behaviour wasn't the sole reason for that but all that shit definitely made things worse for me

[ikamigami]

I swear the only thing that annoys me is people saying that Moon will kill himself bxnxnnxnbxbxbxbxbbx

I know that they're worried just like I was with Sun.. but the fact that they made description saying "will Moon survive?"

No, he won't cause I'll kill him *itch..

I'm sorry but because of all the shit that I went through for saying that Sun is suicidal I'm a bit salty about it..

[kru-sader]

Finished Rule of Wolves a few ago - essentially completing the Grishaverse series more than an year after I had completed the first five books. I was avoiding starting King Of Scars for the sole reason that I found out Zoya- whom I admit I disliked greatly- was going to be more of a main character and Nikolai's love interest in this duology.

Although the duology did do a good job in redeeming her for me, I still have several complaints about her character arc.

Firstly, the sad backstory was definitely- sad; however it in no way logically explains Zoya's vile behaviour towards Alina in SAB. The only way Leigh Bardugo could have clarified all of that, her superiority complex and her mean gurl persona in general was to let her be the arrogant and self-centered girl she was painted out to be initially. She could have owned that and I personally would have loved her still. Does she go around treating Otkazat'sya with hostility? Yes. Would she still put her life on the line to save theirs? Also yes. Does she look down on pretty much anyone and everyone she meets? Yes. Does that affect how she does her duties as the General? No. Does she grumble and complain about something all the time? Yes. But does she also work incomparably hard to somehow put life into a dying nation? Yes.

I have no qualms about her backstory. It was fine. It gave us a peek into where Zoya came from, what she's suffered and all that she risks losing if she fails. But I cannot for the life of me find the link between all that and her actions in SAB. The author could have just let her be a snarky little shit while showcasing all that she does for her country and people rather than force her into the super annoying mold of the soft and sensitive saintly girl who's so traumatised she's adopted this tough girl persona who cares about no one. It feels ingenuine, like even in her own monologues Zoya is acting to get the readers to sympathise with her.

Another thing that infuriated me to no end about her character was how inconsistent it was :|

In chapter 5 Zoya clearly says to Count Kirigan ,

"You will invite me to a fine dinner. We'll both drink too much wine. You'll get me to talk about myself, the pressures of my position, the sadness of my past. Perhaps I'll shed a tear or two. You'll listen sensitively and astutely and somehow discover my secret self.....

...There is no secret self. I'm not going to reveal another me to you. I'm not going to be tamed by you. I am the king's general. I am the commander of the Second Army...."

It was so nice reading that and thenn thennnnnnn?!!?? You know what happened in chapter 23??!!!

Behold my angry notes I added at 2 AM because this scene made me want to scream.( please ignore the ton of spelling mistakes- it's really difficult to type on a Kindle and I was also shaking because I was a sleep deprived ball of rage)-

[Without all the spelling mistakes- the note basically says-

I hate what they are doing with Zoya's character here.Once she'd established with Kirigan that she was not some rough outside soft inside cliche fantasy, that he was not going to peek inside of her and see a hurt, broken and just a sensitive girl- it should've stayed like that. Just because it's Nikolai does not mean it's not an injustice to her arc to just come out as a soft hurt girl. I don't mean to insult every female character that does fit that stereotype. There's nothing wrong with it. But with the way Zoya's storyline progressed even her background I know Zoya was meant to be a tough outside tough inside girlie. She had made it clear herself and that monologue to Kirigan about how true love wasn't going to soften her edges should have been her truth. It was her truth.

Zoya didn't even need to be a sociopath or a psychopathic character for this. The author could've portrayed her weak and vulnerable moments in solitude. Hell- there was Juris the dragon inside of her. He could have been used as a plot device to show Zoya grappling with her past her mistakes, loss, grief, self-doubt, (bad) mental health, psychological pain etc.

I feel like wve the Nikolai and Zoya ship would've been better this way. There was no need to make him the knight in shining armour that breaks down the walls of the outwardly harsh but actually soft and small and weak girl. She's the General of Ravka for God's sake.]

Overall though I liked the books and fairly enjoyed them. I think on the whole the author did a stellar job - especially in terms of plot development and the charcter development of most other characters.

TL;DR- Ways I think Zoya's character was ruined for me personally.

[softquietsteadylove]

For part 4: I've got this idea of mine where Thena blaming Minerva for what happened to Gil and she ordered her that he wants Gil back under her after this mission.

I want you to decide for the rest! I know this is a lot and I am sorry TT, I just wanna say again that your works are beautiful and so are you. Thank you! xoxo

"How'd it go?"

Thena closed the passenger side door with a huff, clipping her seat belt rather aggressively. "It could have gone worse, I suppose."

"So you didn't mouth off and get fired?" Kingo asked as he pulled out of the lot of the agency office building. "I would say I was impressed if you weren't already on suspension for it."

Thena just shrugged. She didn't much care about the suspension, even considering she was a senior agent, and this kind of thing would reflect on her for a very long time to come. It was a well deserved suspension, given how she had screamed in the face of not only Minerva but the Section Chief as well.

All that having been said, Gil had almost died.

The recovery operation was a success. Thena was the best when it came to infiltration, especially after things had already not gone to plan. She and the rest of Special Ops had arrived at the scene and cleaned things up concisely and without mercy.

She had gone further in with Kingo, intent on finding Gil. At the very least they had confirmed that he wasn't one of the reported casualties, but that still left him as potentially injured.

Thena had found him in one of the back corners of the labyrinth of storage lockers. He was barely breathing and there was blood everywhere. If they had been any later, he probably would have...

She had gone in the ambulance with him, Kingo having covered for her absence, with Minerva's help to corroborate Thena's definitely-good-enough reason for leaving the scene.

She owed that much to Minerva, and after she had gotten in her face about the whole thing being her fault. That was unfair of her, and Thena knew it. She knew what being a team leader meant--what it meant to have people's lives in their hands and be solely responsible for it when things went bad.

She was feeling...fragile.

Minerva had taken it like a champ, because of course she had. She didn't reprimand Thena for it, didn't shout back at her, didn't even demand an apology for it later.

The Chief still had her suspended for her behaviour but Thena hadn't cared then and she still didn't, now.

"Did you do what I told you?" Kingo asked as he drove, letting Thena take it easy in the passenger's seat.

Thena crossed her arms, "I displayed...appropriate remorse."

Kingo rolled his eyes, "come on, Boss. I can't do shit with both you and Gil out of commission."

"I know," she mumbled, looking down at her bag on her lap. She really had attempted to appear apologetic for her actions. "I did offer my apologies for it."

"Did you seem sorry?" Kingo looked over at her as he slowed to a stop, "really?"

Thena rolled her eyes and shook her head, "sorry enough."

"So, no," Kingo scoffed and shook his head as well. "If you and Gil get fired, I've gotta get out of this line of work."

Thena smiled, "we're not fired, Kingo. Not yet, anyway."

"Yet," he huffed as he started driving again. He glanced at her, "the transfer?"

"I said that even if I was fired, Gil would be back on Special Ops in exchange."

"Thena-"

"It was the only way I'd go peacefully," she shrugged, repeating it exactly as she had stated it in her probation hearing. "That's all that matters."

Kingo snuck his eyes over to her as she toyed with the bag on her knees. She was fidgeting. "You really think Gil is going to still work here if you don't?"

Thena ignored him. "It's just one more week."

Kingo made a grand show of rolling his eyes at her as he pulled over, "I don't know, Boss. I've already neglected all the paperwork I can. They're going to start asking me to actually do it instead of waiting for you to get back."

Thena gave him a smile as she gripped the handle of the car door, "serves you right."

He leaned down to look at her even as she got out, "just come back soon, please? And tell the big guy I want him back even sooner!"

Thena waved to him as he drove off again. She had to admit, Kingo didn't drive as much like a hellion as she had initially expected he would. And he had very helpfully given her a ride whenever she needed it during her suspension period. She turned, letting herself into the apartment with her key.

"Hey!"

"Hey," she smiled as she walked in, kicking off her shoes by the door and walking into the kitchen. "I'm getting a little too used to not having to wear heels."

"Well, it's not like you need 'em."

Thena rounded the corner, leaning against the wall as she admired the sight of Gilgamesh in the kitchen, on his feet, alive and well. Moderately well, "what's on?"

"Just some easy pasta," he smiled at her from the stove, stirring it with his left hand while his right remained in a sling. She gave him a look and he laughed outright, "relax, nothing strenuous involved."

He had taken a bullet to the leg, as well as endured a shattered clavicle that would have him in a sling for two months. He would still be on desk duty even by the time he was cleared to return to work.

Thena wandered closer, inhaling the delicious smelling sauce. He really was a surprisingly skilled home cook.

He looked over at her, the sizzling of pasta underscoring them. "Get fired?"

"No, but I think Minerva vouched for both of us," Thena sighed. She didn't love the idea of being indebted to her old comrade, but she had to admit that she owed her quite a lot, at this point. "They said that the suspension will be over next week, and after that they'll 'keep an eye on me', so... "

He nudged her with his good elbow gently, "I told you not to speak your mind. Just tell them you're very sorry for what you did and move on."

She raised a brow at him, "is that what you said at your probation hearing?"

"No, I told them that they were old bastards who could go to hell."

Thena laughed, partly from the joke, and partly because it probably wasn't that far from the truth, knowing Gil. For all the shit she got for not minding her manners around their superiors, Gil was a pretty honest guy, even in the worst scenarios.

Gil turned off the stove burner and turned to her, "you were pretty hurt, after that op. I couldn't just let that go."

She looked up at him too, her eyes drifting over the sling holding his arm and then down over the extensive bandaging he had received in the hospital. Even a week after being released, some of them still had to be maintained regularly. "How do you think I felt?"

He smiled, giving her shoulder a squeeze before moving to the cupboard with the bowls, "hey, we got through it--both of us."

Thena moved faster, bumping him out of the way with her hip to reach them before he could, "barely."

He smiled, letting her reach them for herself, instead moving to get them both water glasses. "But we did."

Thena set down the bowls beside the pan of pasta. She had apologised plenty already, and that was after Gil had awoken and told her he didn't have any clue what she was apologising for (and telling her to take it back, too). But seeing him more in the past week than she had in the past month still made her heart clench in her chest.

"Thena?"

She smiled, spooning out plenty for both of them (although that meant that his serving was double the size of hers). "Sit down, Gilgamesh."

He chuckled, obeying the order with a big grin on his face, "yes, ma'am."

She let him see her rolling her eyes at him as she came over with their lunch. She sat down, leaving her suit jacket on the back of her chair. She kept forgetting things at Gil's place, being here to help take care of him so often. She had reminded herself plenty of times already not to get so comfortable here.

"Hey."

Thena looked up, already smiling because Gil was. He twirled some pasta around his fork from his bowl and held up the bite for her. He was cute; she shook her head at him. "I have my own."

Gil shrugged, "you need more. This is why you're so skinny."

Thena's jaw dropped, although it made an opening for Gil to poke at her lip with the pasta fork. She huffed before biting down on it with a glare. "You are still my Agent, Gilgamesh."

"Sorry, sir," he laughed as he pulled the fork back. "Y'know, I thought you were kinda skinny for an Agent when you first recruited me, too."

"Oh, did you," Thena scoffed as she took a bite of her own lunch. "What else did you think?--since you're feeling candid?"

Gil shrugged, his shoulders still moving with his barely contained laughter, "that you weren't nearly as hard to read as everyone said you were."

She rolled her eyes again.

"And that you were kinda pretty, too."

She stopped in the middle of bringing her fork up to her lips. She looked over at him but he was shovelling in another bite, as if he hadn't even heard what he'd said.

"This is isn't bad for only having one hand," he commented as he took a massive bite for himself.

Thena just sighed and took another bite as well. It was moments like this that made her not want her suspension to actually end.