#their ass is either in south asia or uk they are not going to america til the 70s

[boysborntodie]

Tried making a Desi OC in the Outsiders and immediately gave up because what the fuck are they doing in Tulsa anyways??

[smytherines]

Oh no, if I start talking about this I'm never going to stop. I apologize for the sloppy rant.

I think the primary issue I have is that when Curt kills Owen, Owen is already unarmed. To me, that means that Curt isn't killing Owen to ~save the world~ but rather to save himself, to be able to move on from Owen. If he were actually trying to save the world in that scene he wouldn't have killed their best possible source of information about Chimera. Curt kills the unarmed man he loves in a way that suggests he just needs the win. And that breaks my heart.

Even if we accept that Curt thinks he is saving the world, we've heard multiple times from Barb that she is working on the exact same thing Owen is. Curt kills Owen, and as soon as he returns to A.S.S. they're talking about following through on that surveillance network, the thing he killed Owen for, and Curt appears to be fine with it?

That choice feels fraught to me because Curt spent four years mourning Owen, four years (extremely rightfully, sorry but a1p1 Curt suuuucks) blaming himself for Owen's death. He doesn't apologize to Owen for what happened to him (falling from a considerable distance and then getting a building exploded on him seems pretty awful & traumatic to me). He does try to appeal to Owen by talking about their relationship, but it feels like he gives up on that so easily?

I know I have a much more generous view of Owen than most people do, because honestly the things he does mostly make sense to me? Like Curt abandoned him and left him for dead, there's no fucking way the UK is risking anything to pull his ass out of an exploded Russian building so they just write him off as dead. I don't think Owen was brainwashed or went evil, I think he had nowhere else to go, and became ideologically aligned with Chimera because they made compelling arguments.

For me, Owen's actions make sense. He's a gay man living in a country that has famously prosecuted gay men and forced them into conversion therapy and chemical castration- even god-tier national heroes like Alan Turing. If his government ever finds out that he is gay he is going to go to prison and/or get tortured.

Also, like, just to be a bit too real for a moment, I know the show is set within a genre and not The Real World, but real spies during this time period weren't having fun lil missions stealing documents & weapons blueprints or whatever. They were doing regime change. They were overthrowing democratically elected leaders in Central & South America, Africa, Asia, so that US/UK corporations could come in and strip out all the resources and use the people for cheap labor so a handful of companies could make billions in profit. They were playing bullshit proxy war games with Russia, and a lot of people got genocided for it. (Editing again to say that this is important because I see it as a very valid reason than Owen doesn't want to go back to spying for his country and in fact wants to dismantle spying entirely, I got excited and didn't add that initially)

Finally, Owen knows what is coming. And he's right. He is absolutely right that the future isn't going to wait- the US (and prolly the UK too) are already working on the surveillance system Chimera is working on. So the question isn't "is it OK to have a surveillance system" but rather who should control it. Naturally Owen wants to control it, wants to be untouchable, he's got a helluva secret to keep. If the US/UK are able to use that technology, everyone (especially men like him and Curt) are at risk.

Sometimes I think I'm losing it because I'm fully on Owen's side here and it seems like not many people are? Like yes. Fuck the US government, fuck the UK government, why should either of these men have any loyalty to these institutions?

I guess the one thing is the "he's killed 1147 people, mostly girls ages 14-22" kickstarter joke, but like... that doesn't make sense to me for his character. Not that he's adverse to killing (except for n*zis, he kills three n*zis and I love that about him), but I do think he wouldn't waste his time on targets with no value to Chimera and their goals. And also it'll be a cold day in hell before I believe anything the US State Department says, ok?

So the staircase scene is incredibly sad to me because, with all the real world context, it almost reads as Curt killing Owen so he can stay in the closet, stay working for a government that hates him, keep doing his macho guy closeted spy bullshit, and not have to think about anything else. It reads as, God help me (I'm so sorry Corey Lubowich) the ultimate act of internalized homophobia.

Whereas Owen reads as finally having decided that he doesn't owe these people a goddamn thing and he can finally be free, be protected by Chimera's power. Is Chimera good? No, probably not, but I get why Owen thinks Chimera is his best bet.

Edited to add: I think Owen was furious at Curt, legit wanted to kill him, but just kept not being able to do it despite having many many chances. I talked about it a lot in my big staircase scene acting analysis, but it truly reads to me like Owen wants to be furious and wants to rant and wants to be bitchy about it (frankly understandable to me), but I don't think he would've killed Curt. When Curt puts the gun to his head and Owen says "so what are you doing" to me it reads like he has just realized that while he can't kill Curt, Curt is going to kill him. Curt is going to kill him even though he's disarmed already. It just reads as a profound disappointment and sadness and maybe even acceptance. Like Curt didn't bother to save him when the facility exploded, and he isn't going to bother to save him now (despite, once again, not actually needing to kill him because he's disarmed now).

I don't watch A2P7 anymore, because it feels bad. It makes me not really like Curt anymore. And I do love agent Mega, truly I do, I think he's a fascinating, complex, well-written character, but I don't like him very much at that point. I just kinda cry at the gunshot and turn it off.

OK LAST EDIT I SWEAR: There's also the alcohol. So Curt is established as drinking at inappropriate times during A1P1. When Owen "dies" Curt begins drinking excessively, to the point where he can't work anymore. During Spy Again Curt decides to stop drinking specifically because he thinks Owen would want him to, because he's ashamed wondering what Owen would think of him at his lowest. He stays sober for the memory of Owen. Besides the two flask swigs in Cynthia's office (which are poisoned), Curt doesn't drink again until One More Shot- the night before he kills Owen. After he kills Owen & returns to A.S.S., he has whiskey in his coffee at 9am. I think however confident he felt in killing Owen in that moment, it is going to destroy him long before he can take down Chimera.

Ugh I have more but this is prolly too long already. Anyways RIP my fucked up little gremlin

Something that I really like about Spies Are Forever is talking about the staircase scene with other people.

What does Curt choice means for you? Does it make sense that he shoots? Does it work? Why? Do you think it ends well Curt arc? And what about part 7, do you watch it? Do you think he has moved on? Is it a satisfying ending for you?

And what about Owen. Why did he choose to create the spy surveillance network? Was he brainwashed? Did he hate Curt that much? What did he think when he fall as he was seeing Curt leave? What did his words truly mean at the staircase scene? Would he had been able to shoot Curt? What was his last thought?

And the good thing is that everyone has a different reading. People like spies are forever, but everyone finds an answer that works (or doesn't) for them. I think that's awesome, and that's what art's all about

[alexsmitposts]

It is All about Race, Awful Hypocrisy Hypocrisy to Say it’s Not! While I am following closely various discussions on Western mass media and social media, simultaneously engaging in several direct exchanges, one overwhelming leitmotif that I see is clearly emerging: “What is happening in the United States (and the UK, France and other parts of Western Empire) is not really about the race. Let us protest peacefully, let us not allow ‘rioting’ to continue, and above all, please let us not single out the white race, Western culture as a sole villain. Let us have peace, love each other… Then things will miraculously improve; terrible occurrences will soon go away.” I have worked and lived on all continents, from far away island nations of South Pacific (Oceania), to Africa, the Middle East, Latin America, and Asia. Of course, I lived in Europe and North America, too. Colonialism, neo-colonialism, imperialism – these are all my topics. Seriously! I have been studying them, investigating them; I wrote and made various documentary films about them. On several occasions I came very close to losing my life, confronting them. My conclusion after all that I saw and experienced and survived? You can probably guess it: “To claim that the race is not what has been, for centuries, dividing our Planet, is outrageous hypocrisy. Or deranged wishful thinking. Or something much worse: it is calculated blindness that serves only the ruling, white group of people.” To make it blunt: Our Planet has been reduced to only two races: White and “the other”! On top of it, the color of one’s skin is not always identical to what the West, in general, perceives as the Caucasian/white race. To be “white” is the state of mind. It means: belonging to the culture which perceives itself as “superior”. The culture which sees itself as ‘exceptional’, and somehow ‘chosen’ to judge and advice the entire humanity. It also means ‘a state of indoctrination and obedience, as well as lack of intellectual courage’. All this, in exchange for the privileges; fabulous privileges! “Plunder the world, and live well above your means; live grotesquely plush life! And while you are living it, do not forget to whine, demand more, and keep repeating that ‘you are also exploited and, actually, a very poor victim’”. Denying the privileges is part of racism, too, as it demonstrates unexpectable spite for the real victims! Or, perhaps, self-imposed blindness. Citizens of some countries, such as Russia, Cuba, and Turkey, may look mainly ‘white’, but they are actually not. They are not invited to the ‘club’, because their mindset is different because they are not submissive because they think on their own. *** Such conclusions may not be popular in New York, London, Paris, or Berlin. Especially not now, when the United States and the entire West are in turmoil. The culture which was built on blood, bones, rape, and theft, ‘culture’ shaped by more than 500 years of colonialist terror, is now turning, twisting, and trying to justify itself. It tries to survive while staying in a driving seat. Countless editorials penned by both ‘conservative’ and so-called ‘liberal’ scribes are carpet-bombing the pages of newspapers at both sides of the Atlantic Ocean. Fear of perhaps mortally injured beast – Western regime and its citizens – is delectable by its repulsive stench, and it stinks for miles. Suddenly, most of the so-called ‘progressive’ publications do not want to hear from those writers and thinkers who are shooting powerful projectiles in the form of highly uncomfortable truth. Actually, in the West, there are hardly any true “left-wing” sites or magazines left, of course with some shining exceptions. What is really progressive these days? I don’t want to name the sites or publications here, but you are most likely aware of which ones I am talking about: they almost exclusively carry the stuff written by the Western/white men, for other white men’s consumption! They never cross the line: their criticism of the Western white-dominated world is half-hearted, “peaceful”; in short cowardly. A white man is an individual who has been brought up and indoctrinated in a certain way, who thinks, speaks, and writes in a manner that is expected from him or her by the Western regime. And all these ‘non-whites’, all over the world, including the minorities in the Western countries, are expected to sit on their asses, shut up and listen to him or her, but mostly him. And of course, to obey. Or else! Or else: they will be verbally attacked and humiliated, eventually, they will get sanctioned, their governments were overthrown, countries invaded. There will be corpses all over, the stench of burning flesh, overflowing mass graves. And ‘at home’, in the West? Bullets shot at their eyes, or necks squashed by military or police boots. So, what actually happened a few weeks ago to Mr. George Floyd, has been constantly happening to non-white people all over the world, to the entire communities and countries. Then, suddenly, people, all over the world, had enough! Almost everywhere, not just in China, Russia, Venezuela, Cuba, Iran, Libya, Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Enough of being treated as some lower, subservient races. Enough of being treated like a scum; brutalized, killed like Mr. Floyd! *** Now, in the West, both liberal and conservative media is making noises, claiming that Mr. Floyd was “not a saint”, that he used to serve some time in prison. What can I say? People, in general, are not saints. People and countries. Very often, circumstances make them behave in a very nasty matter. But if you are raised as a second-class citizen, if you are beaten, day and night, by your own regime, are you expected to turn out to be a romantic poet? Get real! Our countries, non-Western ones, are not always behaving like saints, either. But they are still better, much better, than those that have been murdering hundreds of millions in their colonies! Don’t they understand, in Washington, London, and Paris, why those millions of people, from Tokyo to Buenos Aires, from Africa to Asia, are now marching in support for the African-American people? It is because all of us, outside Europe, North America, Australia, and New Zealand, are somehow related to Mr. Floyd! Yes, we read those phony essays. We observe those cynical little smiles on the faces of the people who are denying racial and racist division of the world. Individuals who are defending the status quo, the rule of that tiny minority over the planet, so they could maintain their advantages. Some defenders of status quo are now going as far as claiming that the rebellion against the white rulers is actually some sort of dark conspiracy theatre, triggered by the well-concealed business elites, or that it is connected to COVID-19; but above all, that it is not spontaneous at all. It is clear, where they really stand and what they want to achieve. It is never “them”. It is always somebody else. They keep pointing fingers at some invisible bankers, or the minorities in their own countries. You know precisely what I mean. As long as it is not them! But it is all much simpler: most of Europe and North America are constructed on white racism. And so is imperialism, colonialism. Citizens in the West are voting right-wing scum, voluntarily, and consistently. Can you imagine a genuine North American or European “internationalist”? Maybe a few. Perhaps 1%. Not more! So, the proverbial gold keeps flowing in. And billions of non-whites are rotting alive, in all corners of the globe. My friends, my comrades, all over the world, are now opening their eyes, realizing what is happening in the United States and its colonialist daddy: Europe. Many of them, of course, already knew. At least they knew something. But those who did not, are now wide awake, getting well aware of the brutality of the Western regime, as well as of the racist nature of the “global arrangement”. Those who were, for centuries, manufacturing consent, justifying and glorifying colonialism, imperialism, racial discrimination, as well as Western supremacy, can suddenly do nothing to stop the avalanche of awareness. This may be the beginning of the end of segregation, of global apartheid. Just the beginning of the true struggle for equality. A knee of a beefy white racist cop in Minneapolis, which had cut the supply of air, killing an African-American person, somehow managed to trigger that avalanche. Nobody wants to live like this. Oppressed nations do not want to be threatened this way by those white Western cynics and nihilists: like Clinton and Trump, Navarro, Pompeo, and others. What a hellish troop of third-rate violent people! Oppressed minorities inside the empire, be they of African descent, Hispanics or Chinese, are sick of the vicious and repulsive racism. Mostly, they are frightened to speak. But now, day by day, they are gaining courage. *** The United States of America has been built on the genocide of the non-white people. The great majority of native folks had been slaughtered so the small number of the first and brutal European settlers could thrive. This is “to some extend” known fact, but learning in-depth what really happened to the original inhabitants of ‘America’ has been thoroughly discouraged. Word ‘genocide’ is hardly ever uttered, in connection with the first chapters of U.S. history. Actually, it is taboo. Slavery has been turned into folklore. Millions, tens of millions of broken, methodically destroyed human lives, is hardly ever presented in its real, nightmarish authenticity. People in Africa were hunted down like animals, tortured, raped, killed, and shipped like cattle to the so-called ‘free’ and ‘democratic’ “New World”. Does a country constructed on such macabre foundations have really any moral right to call itself ‘free’? Can it be allowed to police the world? It is as if you would allow that murder cob who killed Mr. Floyd, to run a nation! And those states which are now forming Europe? Their citizens are the descendants of those who were hunting down millions of human beings. Offspring of those who perpetrated and then got rich on such mass-slaughters as those of the Namibians, or people who used to inhabit what is now known as Congo. When dragged to the broad daylight, it is all very, very uncomfortable, isn’t it? Better to sweep the truth under the carpet, and talk about “love”, “goodwill”. And then keep robbing and murdering as before, far away from the cameras! This way, nothing would ever change. Repeating over and over again: “race does not matter; it is actually all about class”, could make those who are in control of the world feel good about themselves, even sometimes sorry for themselves, which is actually their favorite state of mind. But it is a terribly hypocritical and deceptive position. And it has to be unveiled if there is ever to be justice! *** On 3 June 2020, UN News, published an essay condemning the situation in the United States: “Voices calling for an end to “the endemic and structural racism that blights US society” must be heard and understood, for the country to move past its “tragic history of racism and violence”, the UN Human Rights chief said on Wednesday. “The voices calling for an end to the killings of unarmed African Americans need to be heard”, UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Michelle Bachelet said in a statement. “The voices calling for an end to police violence need to be heard”.” Ms. Bachelet, a Chilean, knows precisely what she is talking about! She knows what it is to have someone’s knee choking your aorta. Her father, an army General during the socialist era of President Salvador Allende, was murdered after the US-sponsored coup led by Augusto Pinochet. Ms. Bachelet herself was kidnapped and tortured. She looked ‘white’, but obviously not ‘white enough’ for Washington and its local assassins. What is truly significant is that even the United Nations (usually subservient to the US) is now unwilling to remain silent. *** Race ‘issues’ have to be addressed. Racism, inside the national boundaries, as well as on the global scale, has to be fought against, by all means. The depressing state of our planet is a result of racism. Look at the map of the world at the beginning of the 20th century, and you will see: a great majority of the nations were colonized by the West. Colonialism is one of the most evident forms of racism. It humiliates victims, it robs them of everything: of culture, dignity, land. To a great extent, most of the world is still being colonized. Even right now, as this is being written. Almost the entire Planet is brutally controlled by the racist West-centric education system, and by the mass media which is controlled by the White boy’s Western narrative. Things have been arranged, so that the people in non-Western countries have been ‘learning’ and ‘getting informed’ about themselves from the Western curriculums and the fraudulent sources disseminated by the US and British media outlets. That is grotesquely racist, isn’t it? Close to 10 million people have died in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), in just a quarter of a century. It is because they have coltan, uranium, and other essential raw materials, desired by the West. But also, because to the West, their black lives matter close to nothing. My film, “Rwanda Gambit”, is clearly addressing the issue. But who cares? In the West, they rather watch porn, instead of learning the greatest genocide of the 20th Century, which they helped to trigger! And who cares about the West Papuans, who are murdered with almost the same intensity by the Indonesians, on behalf of their Western masters? After all, the West Papuans are blacks, therefore matter nothing. On those millions, mountains of corpses, huge companies, and even entire countries are thriving, prosper. While their CEOs and Presidents are talking rubbish about some ‘corporate responsibility’ and love for democracy. And most of the white Europeans, Canadians, Australians, have to sacrifice very little, in order to live their obnoxiously luxurious lives. Isn’t this racist? The entire arrangement of the world is! Soon, it will be impossible to hide behind all those lies. I work at the frontlines. Where human bodies are crushed by all that “love” of the white colonialism and racism, directly but also indirectly. Racist violence is the most repulsive and the creepiest thing on Earth. I want it to end; once and for all. I don’t care if some shops get looted or trashed in the process. Peaceniks who are crying over them are mostly sitting in their plush living rooms, watching censored news. They do not see those tens of millions of victims of racism rotting in tropical heat, floating on the surfaces of polluted rivers, thousands of kilometers away! Images of Mr. Floyd being murdered, slowly and sadistically, is as close as they ever got to reality. For centuries, they did all they could in order not to see. Now they are running out of excuses. Not to see, not to fight against the endemic global racism is a terrible crime. A crime that has been taking place for more than 500 years. The crime against humanity.

[ennaraw52]

Travel Tips: Golden Nuggets

Backpackers: What are the most important things/lessons you learned from traveling the world?

Enna Morgan·Updated December 5 Former Faculty at Tsinghua University (清华大学)

Originally Answered: What are the best life lessons you’ve learned from traveling the world?

Pee whenever you see a bathroom, you never know when you will see another one

Almonds are a girl’s (and boy’s) best friend, and is more important than even lipstick (So if you have to make a choice, choose wisely). Regardless of the size of the city you are flying into, never assume that there is a welcome committee waiting for you with a smorgasbord of food…..especially if you are vegetarian.

Always have a bottle of water in your bag, except if you are going through an airport; in Thailand, even the empty bottle seems to be problematic, and size does make a difference!

Hospitals: Life-saving institutions under ordinary circumstances, but death traps when you do not speak the local language.

All over the world people love tourists, until the tourist runs out of money.

Credit cards are your best resources for travel, it saves you the headache of fake currency (especially in Asia), and rescues you from the pickpockets (globally).

Planning on going shopping in China? Here is a valuable bargaining formula: 1/4. Whatever the price you are told, know that you can offer 1/4 and they will still make money off you. One little subtlety though, you have to be prepared to walk away….because that’s when the real bargaining begins!

Around the world, many stores have two price tags: the local price, and the American (UK, Canadian) price. But then some stores reserve the right to have no price tag; it will be adjusted according to your nationality and congeniality.

The rating of tourist destinations is determined by the availability of food, alcohol, and sex (and not necessarily in that order).

Years ago we rated airlines according to their level of comfort, today we rate them by their level of frugality….and we call it economy.

As the earth’s population and the individual’s body size increases, the service and the space in aircrafts decrease at an equal pace, proportionately.

I used to think that a train was a wonderful alternative to air travel, a lovely way to see and experience the country. I have been disabused of that notion. Travel by day, will nauseate you from the unending silos, haystacks, cows and pastures, and the multiple ways that we pollute the earth; night travel will introduce you to the vast spectrum of blackness, and the distant lights of cities that will be impressed upon your mind as just a flash in time. And travel during any time with the less-than-impressive toilets, will….well, let’s just leave that topic for another post. Bottom line, trains are good, but not all groovy!

There was a time, not so long ago, when an airline ticket was an all-inclusive package deal; today your ticket buys you ONLY the right to board the plane (well, even that is litigious, depending on if you are on United Airlines), everything else is non-inclusive: the seat, the food, your luggage, the right to get inebriated, a pillow, a blanket, the space size, the comfort level, and even the view. Very soon we will be taxed on the air quality.

When travelling, anywhere, pack half the crap and twice the money

TIPS: Initially, an abbreviation for, To Improve Promptness, today it means, Taken In Place of Salary. In most places (especially the essential (food and beverage)), tips are not optional, they are either included in the charge, or arduously solicited (Psst! That’s a code phrase for ‘guilt trip”!)

Global travelers should be allowed to hold an international passport card, and allowed to work and reside in every country. Why? We make mortgage payments in the taxes, the foreign surcharge fees, and the special ‘foreigners’ price that we pay as we travel through the country.

Never set your bags in the trunk of a cab, you lose your bargaining tool

Most cab drivers are clueless about the city in which they operate; it seems to be a prerequisite for employment in this occupation. Strangely enough, though, they know all the scenic routes quite well.

All the world knows about GPS, and uses it…..except cab drivers. Hmm!

Red-eye flights are quite economical in the smaller, South Asian countries. But just be sure someone is collecting you at the airport, because if not, then your taxi fare will be perhaps 4 times the cost of your flight, since transportation options will be slim to non-existent.

Hotels and AirBNB owners are more than likely connected with some of the top photo-editors in the country; they can make a shanty-town room look like something out of Architectural Digest.

If you are looking to meet people, and live it up, book a hostel; if you want to experience family life, and embrace the environment, try AirBNB; if your thing is lovely aerial views, fine dining, and a bed and shower, then a hotel is for you; if you yearn for fresh air daily sunshine and sea views, nightly entertainment, and food ad nauseum, a cruise is a-calling; but if you’re looking for a really good night’s sleep, then shut the doors, turn off the phone, and tuck yourself into bed. Stay at home, it is the only guarantee of peace and quiet…..okay, so that may not be accurate if you reside in Southeast Asia!

The best party cruise line is the Carnival Cruise; the best destination line is Holland America Cruise line (they are under the same umbrella company, Carnival Corporation). The best cuisine is in the Caribbean; my favourites being Negril (Jamaica), and Cabarete (The Dominican Republic). And the best experiences you will have in your life, in terms of emotional diversity, taking you from your highest highs to your lowest lows, will be in India.

In Europe you need to check your change; in Asia, you must check the notes; in South America you have to check your pocket; and in general, you should check your attitude, as internationally, there is an undisclosed ‘bitch fee’ that applies to every transaction.

For flights, hotels, and cars, the best deals are online; for everything else, the best deals are made with the person, in the moment, at the location.

Cruisers, know this about bargains: When the boat docks in port, the price tag (of anything) drops dramatically and proportionately, relative to the distance from the cruise boat. Also, the excursions are way cheaper on the shore than on the boat….makes economic sense!

Ferry boats provide a great way to see a city from the inside; except in Indonesia; a ferry boat ride there is a great way to ruin a vacation….or a life, depending on how well you swim!

Curbside check-in is a fantastic invention, and works superbly, globally; except at JFK airport, there they give new meaning to the word “vegetating”!

Rental car companies are in the business of selling insurance, not renting cars. You should know that going into it! Be sure to have your own insurance so that you can check all the ‘decline’ paragraphs on the 10-page contract. FYI: Your credit card covers a portion of rental insurance, check before you check (get it?), or you will be paying twice….or thrice if you’re not too bright.

If you have a connection on an airline, that is one hour or less, and you miss that connection (due to airline delays), the airline is responsible to get you another flight, at no additional cost. If it is an international connection, then it means that customs will be involved, so make sure that there is more than 1.5 hours in-between flights, or you will more than likely miss your connection, and in many cases (transcontinental) there is only one flight daily. And though they are liable (provided that they booked this ticket, and not you), there will be a major tussle for the airline to assume the associated costs, being hotel, meals and transportation.

Checked luggage is not the best place for your valuables, the bag-handlers will steal it; your carry-on is not suitable either, TSA will ‘confiscate’ it; a bank lock-box used to be a viable option, but the government can levy on it; and due to their steady and usurious fee (inflation) a storage facility will incrementally decrease the monetary worth of your valuables. The solution? I’m waiting for one too. So when you find one, market that shit, we are all waiting to buy it!

Do not try to repeat a phenomenal vacation, that is why it is called ‘phenomenal’ – because it is a once in a lifetime experience!

Which brings up the point: Holiday romances are just that – “holiday” romances! They are context-bound, and are designed to work only within those conditions…skinny dipping, romantic sunsets, piña coladas, etc. Don’t expect the romance to transcend reality.

As a global traveler, know that the world economy rests squarely in your able hands, so understand your commitment to, and participation in this delicate ecology. Businesses everywhere understand your love for and commitment to exploring the world, hence the hospitality and service employee’s income is now 20% salary, 20% tip-based, and 60% pilfering. Do your part, live it up so there is not much left in your wallet to steal!

If you are in a foreign country, remember this – you are a foreigner; you are not in control, they are! Adjust your attitude accordingly (oh, wait, did I mention that before? Yeah, well perhaps it needs repeating!), that could determine if you leave the country in an aircraft or a body bag….either way, the locals won’t give one rat’s patootie!

Gee, I hate to leave on such a dour note, so…….buon viaggio!

***********************************

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SharersMira Zaslove, Prabhjot Kaur, Bala Vignesh and 6 more upvoted this13.5K72244

Add CommentMegan Cox·March 23, 2018

Gold!

One note: In the US, there are legal minimums between flight legs. If the airline covers it, their ass is covered. They do not have to rebook or accommodate you for free. They may choose to do so, but are not legally obligated to.

I specifically remember the legal minimum at DFW when arriving fr … (more)Upvote·2Reply

Mrinal Bhattacharya·March 15, 2018

Enna, I loved your post. It wasn’t just entertaining, it was completely relevant and true.

Also, I am completely in love with the style of your writing, the way you hid those little humour nuggets with each statement:

“Most hotels are more than likely connected with some of the top photo-editors in th … (more)Upvote·62Reply

Enna Morgan·March 17, 2018

Hi Mrinal, many thanks for reading, and taking the time to express the little things that brought joy and amusement. I really appreciate the detailed note. Hope that one day our travel paths intersect, then we can have a coffee and a good laugh about all our travel tribulations and anecdotes :)Upvote·16Reply

Mrinal BhattacharyaHey Enna, that will super cool. If you ever plan to visit India, feel free to message me…. I will be happy to assist you in curating the itinerary. If time permits… I would love to join you as well… By the way… Coffee and Conversation sounds perfect.Harry Renords·June 25, 2018

That’s true my dearUpvoteReplyC.J. Heck·August 13, 2018

Well done! I enjoyed your writing and learned a lot, Enna. Thank you!Upvote·2Reply

Enna Morgan·August 16, 2018

You are most welcome, C.J. Thanks for reading….and for the compliment :)Upvote·1Reply

C.J. HeckIt was well deserved, Enna.Robert Craig·August 17, 2018

I especially like this point:

When travelling, anywhere, pack half the crap and twice the money.

Although this point really only seems to apply to Americans in my experience:

Rental car companies are in the business of selling insurance, not renting cars. You should know that going into it! Be sure to … (more)Upvote·3Reply

Enna Morgan·August 18, 2018

Thanks for the comments and likes, Robert

About the rental insurance, have you checked into airline credit cards? A lot of cards associated with airline companies (for the sky miles) offer various kinds of insurance and rental insurance.

And yes, that paragraph did apply primarily to car rental age … (more)UpvoteReplyRobert CraigI have not! Thanks for the suggestion. Will look into it.Greg Young·March 6, 2018

“Red-eye flights are great in the smaller, South Asian countries, just be sure someone is collecting you at the airport. If not, then your taxi fare will be perhaps 4 times the cost of your flight since transportation options will be slim to non-existent”

so much this.Upvote·3Reply

View More CommentsView 100+ Other Answers to this QuestionAbout the AuthorEnna MorganVeteran. X-Legal Advocate. EducatorEditFormer Faculty at Tsinghua University (清华大学)Studied at University of WashingtonLives in Global Village3.9M content views18.9K this monthTop Writer2018Active in 3 Spaces2,653 Followers

  from Travel Tips: Golden Nuggets

[ryodan]

Get to know me Tag Tagged by @uzumakura @nataliebgdh thank you folks Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people THE LAST: 1. Drink: black tea 2. Phone call: my dad 3. Text message: group chat with the pals 4. Song you listened to: only angel by Harry styles 5. Time you cried: yesterday HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: why do u think I hate myself this much; no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed : yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink whatsoever LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: ocean blue, Sakuras hair whatever the fuck the shade is called and pastel purple IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: I make new friends every 3 seconds bc I’m an extroverted asshole who talks to people and forgets their name 3 minutes later 16. Fallen out of love: yES 17. Laughed until you cried: yES 18. Found out someone was talking about you: lmao yes but i don’t think I’m personally one to mind it; unless someone thinks I did them wrong or people think I’ve been a dick then I’m self aware enough to check myself 19. Met someone who changed you : hmm possibly? But I think I’m usually the one who changes me?? 20. Found out who your friends are: yep 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nO ew GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them 23. Do you have any pets: not currently, but I’ve had 2 cats, a bird, 2 turtles, and 36 fish before 24. Do you want to change your name: nope 25. What did you do for your last Birthday : went out with my family? Came home and had ice cream cake with all my cousins and got drunk on pizza 26. What time did you wake up: I didn’t sleep (Eid!) 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: hanging out with my cousin 28. Name something you can’t wait for: more independence 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: today 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: be more hard working 31. What are you listening right now: a kpop song my friend is making me listen to 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: atm since it’s summer, spending so much time with my family (I LIKE LOVE THEM BUT IT CAN BE SUFFOCATING) 34. Most visited website: it’s either tumblr or YouTube I don’t remember 35. Mole/s: a few here and there 36. Mark/s: smile eye crinkles 37. Childhood dream: astronaut 38. Hair color: dark brown 39. Long or short hair: I cut it a lot but my hair grows fast so both???? 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes 41. What do you like about yourself: my sense of humor? Physically my eyebrows and eye colour and lashes 42. Piercings: ears 43. Blood type: A positive 44. Nickname: irl Zai online rudeby 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: Cancer sun Capricorn moon 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show(s): The Simpsons, Futurama, HIMYM, Scienfield, The Office, Greys Anatomy, GOT and Friends 49. Tattoos: none 50. Right or left hand: right-handed but I’ve been practising left hand control for a year now 51. Surgery: never had one but I might have a urodynamic (hopefully noT) 52. Hair dyed in different color: the cringiest streaks of yellow you’ll ever see when I was 13 53. Sport: Basketball to play and dance to watch 55. Vacation: I’ve been to most of Europe and the UK,,, travelled across America,, I’ve also been to some places of South east Asia 56. Pair of trainers: two MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: sunbites 58. Drinking: 2 hydrogens bonded to an oxygen at a linear angle of 180 degrees bc I’m thiRSTy 59. I’m about to: sleep bc my ass is going on a trip tomorrow 61. Waiting for: tomorrow so I can see (the guy I like) my family and friends : ) 62. Want: Sasukes shinden novel (which I’m gettING) and stable Internet + my cousins to hurry their asses from America so we can HANG 63. Get married: probably 64. Career: astrophysics WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: why not both 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller bc I want good hugs 68. Older or younger: a little older or a little younger lmao 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms i guess 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: not for more than 5 minutes 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes 80. Had your heart broken: I don’t think so? But I’ve been pained¿¿ 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: a little yes and a little no?????? Idk??? I operate by pretending the future doesn’t exist so I don’t have time to think that way 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: no 87. Santa Claus: I’m like muslim 88. Kiss on the first date: no OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: she would kill me for broadcasting her name on tumblr 91. Eye color: brown but it’s a weird shade that looks red in the sun as I’ve been told by others before 92. Favorite movie: I literally don’t watch movies so I’m not sure but I like horror and romantic comedies I tag @sakuraharunos @cakebake @killeray @kittyblaze @shinobl @its-naruto-universe @sharinghoe @cornelia1992 @saradacchi @lalody @aymaabdullahmalik @shannaro-kamo @xinpaii @chiwawha @chienakamura @sakura-uchiha-uzumaki @misssarahdoll @jeruk-lemon I’m sorry they aren’t 20 but I’m not on desktop and I don’t remember urls jsjnwjsbw these are the ones I could think of at the top of my head

[rigel126]

Tips for writing about French-speaking characters speaking in English

Here are some tips that nobody asked for on how to write French-speaking characters speaking in English. Please fill free to add more information and/or provide feedback and corrections. Please note that a number of these are also based on some linguistics stereotypes and not ALL Francophone communities and individuals across the planet speak the same way, but these tips simply serve to help you get started.

1. French and English share a shockingly large amount of vocabulary, and unfortunately many of those words are false friends or have slightly different meanings in either language. I’m not going to give a language lesson, but here are a few common words that French-speakers tend to use more when speaking in English due to the false-friends/semantics drift issue:

- ‘to demand’ (from French demander, ‘to request’) rather than ‘to ask’ or ‘to request’

- ‘not/less expensive’ instead of ‘cheap’ (there is no French equivalent for the word, they just say pas cher, ‘not expensive’)

- ‘superficial’ or ‘not deep’ rather than ‘shallow’

- for less fluent speakers, ‘to precise’ (from French préciser) to mean ‘to specify’ or ‘to state’ (a fact or information such as in official forms etc.)

- ‘good’ rather than ‘right’ or ‘correct’; conversely, ‘not good’ rather than ‘wrong’

2. French speakers tend to follow the American standard of English due to historical relations and the popularity of American TV and pop culture. Hence, they say ‘pants’ instead of ‘trousers’ and spell the word as ‘color’ instead of ‘colour’.

3. Certain phrases are said a little differently.

- ‘What age have you? I have XX years’ (of age).

- ‘What hour is it?’ to mean ‘What time is it?’

- ‘It is two (o’clock) in the afternoon’. They rarely ever say ‘It is 2 PM.’

- ‘I/You do not have the right to....’ to mean ‘I/You are not allowed to/not supposed to/forbidden from...’

- ‘I can’t do nothing.’ to mean ‘I can’t do anything.’

- ‘to pose a question’ instead of ‘to ask a question.’

- ‘to go up’ or ‘to get down from’ a car rather than ‘to get in/to get out of’ said car.

- French speakers use possessives with nouns/noun phrases differently. They usually say ‘the life of your father’ or ‘the bag of Annie’ and rarely ‘your father’s life’ or ‘Annie’s bag’.

4. French speakers use expletives and swear words more liberally than native English speakers, especially in southern France. Even a prim French grandma may be tempted to spit out an f-bomb or five! Have fun learning some common French cuss-words!

- Merde (rhymes with ‘weird’): shit; the most commonly used swear word especially up in northern France and the Paris region)

- Putain (pew-tang): ��whore’; same effect as ‘fuck’, harsher and less common than merde, used often in southern France. Used as an expletive rather than an insult.

- Pute (pewt): whore/bitch; used to insult a woman

- Fils de pute (fees-duh-pewt): son of a whore/bitch, used to insult a man or as an expletive

- Enculé (on-queue-lay): literally ’ass-fucked’; same effect as ‘fucker’, use only when you want to challenge someone to a legit fist-fight

- Connard (con-are): asshole

- Connasse (con-arse): bitch; sometimes used humorously on a woman with similar effect as the English ‘you lucky dog/bitch’

- Salope (sa-low-p): bitch

- Salaud (sa-low): bastard; sometimes used humorously on a guy with similar effect as the English ‘you lucky dog’

- Con (kong): idiot (male)

- Conne (con, but with strongly-stressed N): idiot (female)

- Niques ta mère (nick-tar-mare): ‘fuck your mother’. DO NOT use unless you’re ready for a legit fist-fight. Really, don’t.

5. Some common French-speaker habits:

- Say ‘aïe!’ (rhymes with ‘buy’ and the Spanish ay!) instead of ‘ouch!’

- When stumped by a question or organizing their thoughts, they do one of the following: (a) shrug, (b) let out a long ‘uuuuuuh’ or (c) blow air through closed lips, making a sound like a motorcycle engine. I don’t know what this action is called so please somebody let me know, but for now I’ll call it the French sigh.

- Do the ‘French sigh’ as described above in place of a regular sigh in similar situations: when one is tired, frustrated, sad or disappointed.

- Say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes, regardless if either one is Christian or not. (In French it would be à tes/vos souhaits, literally ‘to your wishes’, implying that may your wishes come true). On the other hand, they hardly ever say ‘bless you’ as a way of showing gratitude someone.

- Say ‘happy holidays’ (bonnes fêtes, bon-fat) on Christmas to friends and outsiders, especially to non-Christians or if their religion is not known. Otherwise, they use the more traditional greeting ‘Merry Christmas’ (Joyeux Noël, jou-wah-yeuh no-el).

6. Some bad stereotypes of French citizens/speakers to get rid off.

- ‘French speakers are all white.’ WRONG-O. French speakers are racially diverse even within the birth country of the language. Remember that French is also a common language or even an official or co-official language in various countries in the Arab World (Morocco, Tunisia and Lebanon to name a few), western and central Africa, Madagascar, Mauritius, French Guiana in South America, Haiti, the Caribbean, and several French overseas territories in the Pacific. It is also the language of the educated elites in former French Indochina in Asia (Cambodia, Laos and Vietnam).

- ‘French speakers are too proud of their language to speak English’. Perhaps so in Napoleon’s time, but modern native French speakers understand and appreciate the special position of English as the de facto international language and the language of business and STEM fields. Most are trying to pick up English in school, college or evening classes. Many in fact understand English, but are simply shy when forced to speak English themselves, and they might be embarrassed by their less-than-perfect fluency or unusual accent. Be encouraging and generous with compliments, they respond well to help and praise!

- ‘The French hate England and America’. Hoo boy you could not be more wrong. The French LOVE American TV and pop-culture. Going to America or the UK to study/vacation/work is something to brag about, as is having a British or American partner. Plus they love your charming accents when you try to speak in French! However, the French might complain that you guys don’t know how to make good coffee!

- ‘Champagne is cheaper than water in France’. Mm-hmm, and that’s why champagne flows out of kitchen faucets in Paris and you can get sloshed just by taking a dip in a public pool. Seriously, people.

[reekierevelator]

Cheese-oh!

A short story by Brian Bourner

 After only two months, Helen decided to become an exotic dancer. A lively girl, she’d always sought adventure in life. She told her story to her new friend Margaret.

‘So, we were sailing Guy’s yacht across the cobalt blue Indian Ocean with the sun beating down on our backs. It was a breath-taking experience. Guy hadn’t been too bad in the sack either, but believe me action in those hammocks can be tricky. In any case he wasn’t as innovative and energetic as Jason. Jason was the Newmarket stable owner whose castle-sized cottage I used to share.  But when Guy and I reached the Seychelles that was where I ran into handsome Justin Thyme, the film producer. I suddenly realized that although Guy was rich as Croesus, being a hedge fund manager, he really didn’t have much of a personality. He wasn’t interested in music or dancing or having fun, or anything except making money and sailing. He was really quite mundane, not to say boring.  Justin was much more thrilling to be with, and he welcomed me with open arms.

‘And we were in bed after a night at the casino when Jason mentioned pole-dancing. He said in the smarter clubs that he frequented in Los Angeles those girls never went unnoticed by prowling Hollywood magnates. Most had only just learned how to climb the pole and do a doughnut or Chinese flag before some producer was whisking them off to the studios to be the next movie star.  And from the things Justin knew how to do in bed it was obvious he’d been around and really knew what he was talking about. So that was it. After two months in the Seychelles I made my mind up. Los Angeles really is where it’s at. And it’s great here, don’t you think?’      

God, another load of drivel, Liz was thinking just as her mother burst into her tiny bedroom yet again.  She dropped the book on the floor as her mother squeezed in between the bed and the wardrobe and as usual, without any preamble, started off again with her usual diatribe:

“Time you learned to foresee the future my girl.  Look at you: nineteen and lazing around in an old grey tracksuit like some deadbeat.  You’ll end up an old maid at this rate.  You can’t fester away in this little room forever you know.  I’m on my own, I can’t afford to feed and clothe and house you indefinitely. You need to change your ways. You need a real job.  It’s time to put your back into some proper work, earning a proper wage.”

It was the bitter voice of an ex-wife, now a middle-aged office cleaner. Liz’s father had abandoned the Biggerton Scheme, where she and her mother still lived, long ago.  He couldn’t stand the constant moaning either. After the divorce he’d taken the car and followed his dream, gone off to a Highland croft, settling for looking after a few sheep, farming a couple of stony acres, and spend hours collecting seaweed from the Isle of Lewis foreshore.

“Oh, and I need these things from the supermarket today.” Liz’s mother concluded, scrabbling in her purse for a twenty pound note and thrusting it onto Liz’s lap along with a scrap of paper.

“Yes, mother,” Liz replied dully.

“And I see you still haven’t cleaned your room.  There’s a foul smell of old socks in here.”

Once her mother had reversed herself out again Liz looked around the little room and decided it wasn’t quite as squalid as her mother made out. Instead she reached for the packet of crackers and can of Cheasy on her small bedside table.  

Feeling she needed to properly understand Helen, the book’s main character, in order to write a useful review, she’d recently ordered Cheasy online, direct from the USA.  This character Helen seemed to eat it at every opportunity. How could she be stuffing herself with cheese and still aim to be an exotic dancer?  

Liz reviewed books for a blog site. She was increasingly disturbed that the site was still attracting only a handful of readers; and actual followers could be counted on a hand of amputated fingers.

When she’d started working on it a year ago she’d convinced herself she would earn enough from the firms clamouring to advertise on the blog that she’d soon be able to go travelling, to see the world.  Given all the hours she spent reading and writing reviews she felt there surely had to be some kind of decent return?  But that wasn’t how it was turning out.  Instead here she was still living at home in Edinburgh, trying to work in her cramped bedroom, being constantly harassed and pestered by her miserable parent.

Her mother’s mantra, repeated almost every day, was: ‘When are you going to get a proper job, find a husband, stop wasting all your time reading, stop damaging your eyes staring at that computer screen?’

She squirted a cracker with Cheasy and popped it in her mouth.  Chips and cheese was much more her thing but she only had crackers.

The cheese was horribly viscous, a rubbery glutinousness, full of water and emulsifiers. It smelled more like some kind of antiseptic than any half-decent cheddar. It tasted like shite.  She felt slightly nauseous. Cheese-oh, she thought, what possible attraction could there be in this goo?  

Yet she was sure the Cheasy must be a critical clue to understanding the book.  It surely had to be some kind of symbol or motif.  Surely no author could create a character stuffing herself with such crap at every meal and every coffee break without it being intended to convey some kind of deep meaning.

Why cheese?  This character Helen spent a lot of her time in Miami, drinking cocktails on the beach, at night going out to bars, nightclubs, late-night diners, hooking up with chiselled chin morons. Could it be something to do with needing cheese to help you see in the dark? No, that didn’t really make much sense.  

Well, could it conceivably be about too much cheese causing bad dreams at night?  That sounded more likely.  Maybe the author was really telling his readers that the whole book was merely a nightmare he’d had after eating too much cheese?  After all, the book was really just a vapid collection of disconnected scenes.

Liz let her mind run with this notion for a few minutes before deciding she couldn’t really stand it up as the cornerstone for her book review.

She squeezed a little more from the metal can onto another cracker. ‘Instant cheese’ read the label on the can.  But it didn’t even have the taste of those rubbery slices of processed cheese that her mother used to buy for her tea when she was tiny. Liz had barely been able to tolerate even those, but Cheasy was something altogether more disgusting.  It was tasteless, slithery, it squeezed out the can looking like some kind of pale yellow toothpaste.

Suddenly, Liz remembered the scrap of paper.  

She scrambled into her old trainers and flew out of the flat, reaching the bus stop just as a yellow bus approached.  City buses were always maroon and white.  She looked askance at this custard coloured vehicle. A new kind of tourist sightseeing bus?  As it passed her she saw ‘Cheasy’ written in large flowing letters all over the side. Surprised, she pondered this sight and concluded Cheasy was finally being launched for sale in the UK. It was only after she’d watched it fly past that she spotted the route number on the rear display panel. Of course, it had been her bus. She’d missed it.  It would be half an hour before the next one from the Scheme to the supermarket.  

In peripheral vision she became aware of a rather angular, scrawny young man in a black biker jacket and torn red jeans rolling up to join her at the bus stop. She turned to admire his matt black hair, recently cut in a contemporary asymmetric style. But his grey face, skinny legs, and thin arms hanging from his malnourished torso were the signs of a typical Scheme dweller. So was the e-cigarette dangling from his fingers.

Liz appraised him carefully, like a character in a book.  

She decided he could be Tristan Goldman, the charming but wayward son of the billionaire software company owner. So Tristan had finally escaped, running away from family pressures, leaving his parents with no clue as to where he’d gone. He’d eventually found himself at the Biggerton Estate and settled into a small rented flat there. Then waiting for a bus one day he met a beautiful girl with tousled hair, home-dyed, a sort of blonde with greenish streaks, and wearing a grey track suit. This was the girl of his dreams. Days later he confessed to her that he wasn’t in fact the hand-to-mouth person he seemed to be.  In fact he had a huge amount of money in a trust fund, a fund he’d be able to access as soon as he turned twenty-one next year. With all that money he planned to travel round Asia, Africa, and South America for a few years until he discovered his life’s true vocation. And he was desperate for his new love to come with him and share the adventure.

Cheese-oh, thought Liz, writing that crap might actually be easier than reading it.  I surely couldn’t do much worse.

The adolescent boy said ‘Hi there’ in a squeaky tenor and looked perplexed as Liz scowled at him in passing as she flew back to her room.

Grabbing her laptop she found the supermarket’s online site and dutifully entered all the items on her mother’s list, including a premium payment for urgent delivery, then flopped back onto the bed exhausted.

After resting for a while she picked up the book again.  

My room-mate taught me some exotic pole-dancing routines.  I tried the flying legs and shaking my ass while hanging upside down. I was pretty soon covered in bruises.  Not such an attractive look. Pole dancing isn’t as easy as it looks. And Margaret had this habit of spitting. It began to get on my nerves.  She claimed it was something to do with handling the shockingly boorish, brutish behaviour of the patrons, the crowds of men who watched. She didn’t seem to understand Justin’s point that any minute one of those men was almost certain to pluck me from the pole and rush me off to Hollywood.

Liz tossed the book on the floor. Liquid cheese and spitting pole-dancers?

In a sudden attack of decisiveness she decided she’d had enough. She concluded that, like most popular trash fiction, the whole thing had no real meaning, no symbolic significance. It was all just titillating crap. Bread and circuses for the woman on the Leith Walk bus wending her way to another minimum wage shift at Greggs or Primark.

She remembered sadly how she’d consciously chosen this ‘populist’ literature to review, thinking it would be a quick way to garner an army of followers on the blog. But really, what was the point of spending your life reading and reviewing this mince?

She returned to her laptop and started a serious search of the job vacancy sites.  Waitress, barmaid, shop assistant, anything would be better than this.  

There was a publisher who issued some of the trashy books she’d already reviewed who was looking for a proof-reader.  The pay wasn’t great but at least it was something she thought she could do. After all, she’d noticed endless misspellings and grammatical errors in the pulp fiction she’d waded through over the past few months.

She filled in the online form, applying there and then, finally convinced that if she was going to immerse herself in this rubbish any longer she might as well aim to be properly paid for it.  At least her mother would be pleased.

At five pm her mother crashed back into Liz’s little room.

“I’m starting to make dinner. Where did you put the groceries?  You’re mind’s always wandering my girl. You never pay attention to what you’re doing.”

“Yes I do.  What I’ve been doing is concentrating on finding a real job.  Actually I’ve just applied for one as a proof-reader.”

“A proof-reader?  Well that doesn’t sound like a proper job.  Is it an office job?  Anyway, never mind all that, look, I can’t find the shopping anywhere.  Where did you put the bag before you started daydreaming again?”

“Oh, they should have been delivered by now. The thing was, I couldn’t spare much time so I ordered them online.”

“Couldn’t spare much time?” thundered her mother. “Put my shopping into a computer?”

Liz turned to her laptop to check the supermarket site, expecting to see a delivery time, an ETA, while her mother stood behind her with arms crossed firmly across her chest and her face fixed in a display of livid moral outrage.

Of course Liz had entered all the items required, adding them one at a time to the virtual trolley, but in her haste she had then pressed Enter.  She had forgotten to pay.  Having no money herself, and having to think hard about the significance of Cheasy and alternative realities for the boy at the bus stop, the need to ask her mother for her debit card had somehow escaped, floated out of her head.

The full trolley and the bill were still there, still waiting for a card number and authorisation. It was the bill she forgot to pay.  

Cheese-oh!  Liz thought, this is bad. One way or another, the raging bull behind me is going to make me suffer for this foul-up. Bread and water for a week at least.  But then again, maybe she’d be interested in trying Cheasy and crackers for dinner? It always worked for that Helen character after all.  She turned, glancing anxiously again at her mother and was left in no doubt that Cheasy was a definite non-starter.

As she raked in the pocket of her joggers for her mother’s twenty pound note Liz hoped to hell they’d get back to her as soon as possible about the proof-reading job.

Meantime, trying hard to keep calm while her brain jangled, she turned to face her mother’s clenched teeth and put an even more immediate option to her.

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about signing up online as one of those Deliveroo cyclists you see everywhere these days. It would be a job. Some kind of a job anyway. I could set my own hours. I’d make some money.  So before I signed up I thought maybe I should experiment, test how fast these Deliveroo riders actually do home deliveries.”

The twenty pound note rustled between her fingers.  “I’ve gone off cheesy stuff like pizza margherita mum. How about we try having fish and chips delivered tonight? I’ve got some cheese you could have on your chips if you wanted.”