#the whole thing is published on ao3 but i'll be posting the chapters here too!

[myreia]

Bound by Faith

CHAPTER ONE: PHILIA

Chapter Rating: Teen (full story is rated Explicit) Pairing: Aureia Malathar (WoL)/Thancred Waters Major Characters: Aureia Malathar (WoL), Thancred Waters, Urianger Augurelt, Ryne Minor Characters: Y'shtola Rhul, Alisaie Leveilleur, Alphinaud Leveilleur, Cyella Chapter Words: 5,393 Notes: Set post-5.0., spoilers for Shadowbringers base. Summary: With their enemies defeated and the First saved, the Crystarium is alive with celebration. Despite the joy around her, Aureia is uncertain about the next steps to take. So is Thancred, for that matter. The puzzle of their lives has sat incomplete for years, but finally this last, precious piece may be able to slide into place. Chapters: 1 �� 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 Read on AO3

By the time evening falls, the celebrations have been well under way for many bells. The Wandering Stairs—scrubbed sparkling clean and bedecked with flower garlands and candles for the occasion—serves as the centre of the festivities under Glynard’s keen eye. A raised stage has been erected below at the foot of the terraced steps, providing ample space for musicians and dancers to perform. The crowd flows as freely as the wine and ale, passing through the tavern with ease. Clusters of friends, families, and strangers gather together to listen to the musicians play and watch the dancers dance.

Aureia watches it all from her spot overlooking the lawn, unable to contain her joy. It’s strange how many familiar faces there are in the crowd, how many people she knows if not by name, then certainly by sight. This unyielding sense of community never fails to take her breath away. Not only is the whole of the Crystarium present, but the Quadrivium is dotted with guests from Lakelands villages and visitors from the Greatwood to Amh Araeng and beyond. Even the pixies are well-represented, soaring through the air on their butterfly wings, their mischievous glee ringing bright and playful above the chorus of merriment.

“There you are!” a familiar voice calls behind her. “I was wondering where you had run off to—”

Aureia glances over her shoulder. The twins push their way through the crowd, Alisaie in the lead, cheeks flushed and blue eyes shining brighter than usual. Alphinaud trails a step behind, huffing with exertion to keep up with her vigorous pace. Like many others attending the festivities, the twins wear flowers in their hair—blue in his, pink in hers. The garlands have Ryne’s mark all over them.

“Well, we were wondering,” Alphinaud corrects as they draw to a stop. “We were concerned that—”

“Oh, hush, Alphinaud,” Alisaie interrupts, elbowing him in the shoulder. “It had occurred to us that you may have found yourself mobbed by a number of your not inconsiderable admirers. We were prepared to mount a rescue if need be, but I see you’ve found a moment of peace.”

Aureia pauses, a fond smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Despite the spirit of the young woman’s words, she has a feeling this is not the true reason the twins came to find her. “Thank you,” she says. “If I find myself in need of rescue, you’ll be the first to know.”

Alphinaud laughs and folds his arms, surveying the bustling grounds. “’Tis a remarkable evening,” he ventures. “That so many have come together is… I don’t think there are words to describe it.”

“You already have,” Alisaie says soberly. “Remarkable. What we’ve done here, what we succeeded in doing… We saved a world, Alphinaud. But it wasn’t just us. It was everyone. They all had a hand in it, no matter how small, and that alone…”

He glances at her. “Didn’t think you were one to be weepy, Alisaie—”

“I’m not crying, I’m not! If anyone is prone to cry, it’s you!” She sniffles and presses the back of her hand to her nose, exhaling a long breath. “If only Tesleen had been here to see this. I think she would have been… she would have…” 

Alphinaud touches her shoulder. “Those we have lost are never forgotten. The best we can do now is to take comfort in each other and live. Tonight is truly a testament to that.”

“When did you get so insightful?” she says indignantly and lowers her hand.  

He chuckles. “Perhaps I always have been—or at least after I got over my flights of fancy. Or at least that’s what Mother says.”

Alisaie pauses, chewing her lower lip. The twins haven’t spoken much of their parents, and especially not since their entrapment here on the First. That Alphinaud mentions their mother now is not insignificant. How much do they miss her? How painful is it to be cut off so thoroughly from their family, unable to send even a simple letter, let alone explain the circumstances they have landed themselves in?

Family…

Aureia casts an eye across the Quadrivium and warmth floods her chest. It’s easy to spot Ryne in the crowd as she flits from group to group. Her fathomless joy is infectious, bringing a smile to everyone around her. As for the others, they have scattered around the Wandering Stairs ever since the festivities began in earnest. She hasn’t seen hide nor hair of Y’shtola or G’raha, but Urianger appeared not that long ago in the company of pixies, politely chiding them for performing trickery on unsuspecting guests. And Thancred…

A smile tugs at the corners of her lips. She spots him easily at the back of the tavern, leaning against the wall with his arms folded in his customary manner. It seems some things never change. Even a world away, even in this moment of peace and merriment, he still lingers on the fringes, keeping a watchful eye over those he loves.

“…that certainly sounds like Mother, though I don’t recall a time when she ever said that. Is there something I missed? When did that happen?”

“In a letter! Before I left for Garlemald—”

“Before you left? And it slipped your mind until now to tell me she wrote?”

“Alisaie, please—”

“Are you my brother or not?”

Aureia muffles her laughter, hiding her grin as the twins devolve into one of their familiar arguments. Family has been weighing on her mind of late. For years, the word has only brought her grief and strife. But now it has begun to shift, changing in ways that are both exhilarating and terrifying. She and the Scions—her friends, the dearest people in the world to her—are bound together through something deeper than friendship.

“Alphinaud!”

Ryne’s voice cuts through the din as she clatters up the steps from the lawn. She skids to a stop beside them, out of breath and beaming, and brushes hair out of her face.

“The band will be changing soon,” she says, tugging . “Come dance with me!”

“I—” Alphinaud’s eyes widen, tripping over his words in protest. “Well, see—”

Ryne pulls the ribbon tight. “Come on! I’m more than happy to teach you the steps. And besides, you said you would!”

“Yes, Alphinaud,” Alisaie echoes, an amused smile on her face. “You said you would.”

“I—what—Alisaie, please—”

She flashes him a grin and folds her arms, cocking her head towards the lawn. He follows her gaze, noting the gathered group of musicians and clusters of eagerly waiting dancers. His shoulders sag and he lets out a long sigh. He was never going to win this argument.

Ryne smiles and pats him on the arm. “There,” she says. “I knew you’d come round to it. It will be fun, I promise.”

“I don’t suppose anyone else is joining us?” he asks hopefully. “Urianger or Thancred, perhaps…?”

She laughs. “Oh, I wouldn’t dare ask if I were you,” she says lightly and links her arm through his. “Though I can imagine the look on his face if you did! He would maybe acquiesce if it’s Aureia who asks, but for you…? Now enough stalling, we’ll be late!”

Beaming at Aureia and Alisaie, she tugs on his arm and drags him into the crowd, catapulting them down the stairs and across the lawn. Alisaie catches Aureia’s eye, grinning from ear to ear. Together, they watch them go and settle into comfortable silence.

Aureia relaxes and rests her elbows on the balustrade, feeling oddly contemplative. The changes in Ryne have been remarkable ever since their triumph over Hades. The differences have been there since that day in Amh Araeng, but there’s something so precious about these days that have come after their enemy’s defeat. Ryne has had so little opportunity to be a normal girl. To see her embrace these small, everyday delights—dances, friends, meals shared with loved ones—brings Aureia more joy than she can articulate.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Alisaie says after a moment. “This moment of peace. It doesn’t feel real. It’s something we’ve dreamt of more times than we can count, and now it’s here… I can’t shake this feeling there is something we’ve forgotten. That some imminent crisis is going to raise its ugly head and undo everything we’ve fought so hard to achieve.”

“I know,” Aureia replies. “The thought has occurred to me, too. I don’t doubt we will ever be free of one crisis or another.”

“And that’s the problem, is it not? I dislike feeling this unsettled. It’s hardly fair after everything we’ve been through. I have this unrelenting need to do something, Aureia, as if taking a moment for myself is never enough. I’m not like Alphinaud. I can’t slip so freely into rest and respite. For all his complaints, I know he prefers the quiet. Not that I wish desperate times on anyone, that’s not what I mean, but there is a restlessness in me that needs to do something. And perhaps it’s easier to placate it with thoughts of what could go wrong in the future, rather than accepting that nothing has in the present.”

She lets out a long sigh and shakes her head. “Bah. I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to become so introspective, not on a night like this. You certainly don’t need to be weighed down by my useless thoughts.”

“They’re not useless, Alisaie. If anything, I share them. When you have achieved that singular goal you spent years pursuing, how do you come to terms with that? I don’t know if there is an answer.”

Alisaie catches her eye. “Perhaps the answer is stabbing something with my rapier,” she says with a straight face.

Aureia snorts with laughter. “True. That has worked for me more times than I’d like to admit.”

“Then perhaps let’s say you owe me a sparring match. We have to work out this restlessness somehow—and I have yet to beat you. You know it is within my personal goals to best you someday. There can only be one true red mage amongst the Scions.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

They exchange grins.

Alisaie pauses, the smile fading. “Do try to enjoy yourself tonight, yes?” she says seriously, gripping her hands. “If anyone deserves a time to rest, it’s you. It’s more than earned.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Aureia replies, squeezing tight.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Alisaie smiles. Content with her answer, she bids farewell and disappears into the crowd, searching for her brother. Aureia lets out a little sigh and turns, abandoning her place overlooking the lawn. The conversation has left her oddly contemplative and her mouth is dry. She could use something to drink.

A burst of raucous giggling cuts through the tavern. Not far away, a familiar quartet occupies a large, round table, its surface littered the remains of several meals and more drinks than Aureia can count. Giott perches on the edge, grinning from ear to ear. She loudly guffaws some sordid tale while balancing a half-empty tankard in one hand. Lue-Reeq pushes his chair back and braces his hands against his knees, bowled over as he sobs with laughter. Granson sits with his arms folded, a smile cracking even his serious face. Cerigg chuckles and shakes his head, lounging with his feet up on the table, wine in hand. He glances across the tavern to where Taynor sits with a gaggle of Crystarium youths, keeping a watchful eye over both his companions and his young partner.

The four most unlikely of friends, brought together by their hunt for the Cardinal Virtues, and Aureia herself.

Granson catches her eye and raises a hand in welcome. Cerigg grins and nods, tipping his glass to her. Noticing their movement, Lue-Reeq follows suit and his eyes light up as he spots her, his tail curling upwards with excitement. Giott snorts on her ale and she raises her tankard high, bellowing Aureia’s name at the top of her lungs. Uncertain whether she wants to involve herself in the hunters’—well, more specifically, Giott’s—antics, Aureia waves in return and ducks out of the line of sight, heading for the bar.

Glynard’s staff is kept more than busy. The man himself swims above it all, barking orders and rushing to and fro. Despite his overworked state and the sweat shining on his brow, even he can’t contain the largest of smiles. Not wanting to trouble him, Aureia sidesteps the crowd and slips around to the side.

Behind the bar, Cyella methodically cleans an unending supply of used glasses. The tall, pale-haired elf seems quieter than usual, her grim expression out of place with the high spirits surrounding her.

“Now there’s a surprise,” she says, eyeing Aureia as she approaches. “I didn’t expect to see you of all people alone, Mistress Malathar. Not enjoying your evening?”

Aureia folds her hands on the bar. “No, I am. But between you and me, I’ve never been one to be at the centre of attention.”

“I can understand that.” The barmaid twists her rag round and round, polishing the edges of a glass. “If I may—from the little I’ve witnessed of you and your friends, you have others who are more than capable of doing that for you. The little lordling and his sister come to mind.”

Aureia cocks her head, brows drawn together. “I don’t think Alphinaud has ever described himself as a lordling. An artist, perhaps, but never—”

“Please, Mistress. I’ve been waiting tables longer than you would believe and even the greenest barmaid would see the lad was raised in luxury from the airs he puts on. I do not say this as an insult, merely an observation. He has an infectious charm. It’s easy to see why so many gravitate to him.”

She shoots Aureia a sideways glance, gauging her reaction, and twists the rag between her fingers. “You know that you and yours are the centre of everyday gossip, yes? The company you keep is strange and varied. Perplexing, even, to an outsider’s eye. An unlikely assortment of ragtag men and women who seem to have little to do with each other. But I can see the bonds between you are forged in love and tempered by trust. Whatever flaws you as individuals have are counteracted by each other’s virtues. And you are made all the stronger for it.”

Setting the rag aside, Cyella places a clean glass on the counter and reaches for a decanter. Aureia catches her eye and gestures sharply, shaking her head. The message is clear.

“It may be the same one day for the hunters there,” Cyella continues, nodding at the little band as she puts the decanter away. Giott has fully committed to standing on the table, Lue-Reeq’s head is in his hands, Granson’s unbreakable stoicism has finally cracked, and Cerigg remains exactly as he was. “They answered the call to the hunt for their own reasons, and through it found friendships that may very well last a lifetime. There is unconditional understanding there after the trails they have faced. No one can understand it as well as each other, save perhaps you.”

Aureia presses her lips together, her heart clenched. This isn’t the first time someone has remarked on the way she changes those who cross her path. But giving too much weight to the way she has impacted others’ lives has always made her uncomfortable. She’s not important. She never has been. She is simply trying to do her best in the circumstances she has fallen into.

Cyella notes her expression. With a little hum, she fills the glass with lemon water and pushes it in front of her. “I knew a band much like them once. Or perhaps more like yours. Strangers encountered through circumstance and fate, eventually to become friends bound by faith.”

Aureia takes a sip, the tart taste lingering on her tongue. Though she has no doubt that Glynard has broken into his best vintages for this, she has no desire to fuzz her mind with drink tonight. She’s made too many poor decisions in her life thanks to it. “What became of them?” she asks, though she feels as though she already knows the answer. Even the strongest of friendships may not be enough to endure unfathomable hardship, and the First has seen hardships beyond comprehension.

A faint smile plays across the barmaid’s lips. “It would be a familiar story, in part, to you, but now is not the time. There are happier things to consider the midst of these festivities than tragic tales from eras gone by. You saved the world. That is cause for celebration.”

“I suppose so, though I admit I am at a loss,” Aureia replies, absently rubbing a thumb against the edge of her glass. “How does one go about celebrating the saving of a world?”

The smile fades. “You would know more about that than I. Congratulations, Warrior of Darkness. Be proud. Be happy. You have achieved more in your short time here than many have in a lifetime, and the gravity of that is not an easy weight to bear. Look to your friends and hold them close. For there may be an ending to everything, but that day has not yet come. Not yet.”

With a final, significant look, Cyella tips her head in farewell, smooths down her apron in a business-like manner, and strides away to assist Glynard with the next round of tipsy patrons. Aureia sips at her drink, mulling over her words, and departs the bar. She meanders without purpose, smiling in greeting at those she passes, until she spots two familiar faces at the base of the stairs.

“…and respectfully, I disagree. Even Urianger would say the same.”

“And yet, Urianger is not here. You cannot make an argument on his behalf—”

Y’shtola’s ears prick up as Aureia descends the steps. “As scintillating as I find this discussion, Moren, perhaps it should be saved for another day,” she says, swilling her glass of wine.

He raises an eyebrow. “Of course,” he replies smoothly. “I am happy to give you time to reconsider your stance, Master Matoya.”

“There is nothing to reconsider. I will win this.”

Moren throws back his head and laughs. Giving her a respectful bow, he nods to Aureia and departs across the Quadrivium.

“What was that about?” she asks as she descends the final step.  

“Oh, nothing,” Y’shtola answers, her tail swishing back and forth. “A little friendly conversation, that is all. I swear that man has more of a backbone than he lets on at first glance, he would destroy half the Forum with the way he debates. Admittedly, it wasn’t as quite an entertaining endeavour as when we first started. I am rather irked at being backed into a corner. Mayhap I should consider it a… personal… flaw? Both Thancred and Urianger would say it is good for me to lose an argument once in a while.”

“True,” Aureia replies, straight-faced. “We all have to stay humble.”

Y’shtola stares at her, eyes wide with surprise—and snorts with laughter, pressing the back of her hand to mouth to hide her smile. Aureia grins. Letting the moment pass, the pair fall into comfortable silence, sipping on their drinks as they watch the Quadrivium.   

“And what of you?” the sorceress says after a moment. “I have scarcely seen you tonight.” Her silvery eyes linger on Aureia’s colour-sapped hair, one of the few remaining remnants of the light sickness that nearly consumed her. Though the sickness has passed, the light has left its mark. Only time will tell if the change is permanent. “I must say I’m impressed. One would think the Warrior of Darkness would have been pulled to the centre of attention with little opportunity to leave.”

Aureia takes a drink. A little ways away, G’raha stands in the centre of a small gathering, Lyna hovering protectively at his shoulder. Though he has mostly recovered from his ordeal, his face still bears cuts and bruises from his ordeal. His ears twitch, his expression flitting between unbridled joy and complete and utter shock. For years—decades, truly—his identity had been masked. To be amongst his people now so openly, no longer their benevolent but aloof saviour shrouded in the mystery…

It is a change no one saw coming, least of all the man himself.

“Oh, but don’t you see?” she says lightly. “The Warrior of Darkness is nothing compared to the Crystal Exarch. I think G’raha may need your support more than me. Now his people have seen his face he will never know peace.”

Y’shtola chuckles and raps a finger against her glass, her tail uncurling. “Mayhap he deserves it. Twelve know he has had little opportunity for anything amounting to normalcy—”

G’raha glances through the crowd and catches Aureia’s eye, a silent request for a timely rescue. She grins and raises a hand, declining him with a small wave.

“—as have you, my friend.”

Aureia freezes, caught off guard by the tone. “I’ll be fine,” she says, folding her arms. “Truly.”

Y’shtola purses her lips, silver eyes narrowed. Once again, she is lingering on her hair. “And in my heart, I want nothing more than to believe you,” she says. “You know yourself best of all. I have placed my faith in you time and again, and I trust you to know your own limits. But even so, I cannot deny that my eyes see more clearly than my heart. Your aether may have stabilized, but it is compromised. Distorted into something new, something we have not seen before. And I cannot bring myself to ignore it—and I suspect Ryne would say the same.”  

“Y’shtola—”

“Please, if I may finish? If anyone can overcome this, it is you. There is no doubt in my mind that you can and you will. But I bid you, please, take care. You need rest. There is healing to be done. And I do not speak only of your aether.” 

Aureia’s brows draw together. Though she knows it comes from a heartfelt place, she cannot help feel like she is being scolded. “What is this about, Shtola?” she asks.

“That you, my friend, have the very appalling habit of pushing yourself beyond your limits. Scarcely have you felled one enemy before you set your eyes on the next. But you cannot always move so quickly from one obstacle to another lest you wear yourself thin. I know this all too well; I fear I am very much the same. Even now, in the midst of these celebrations, I cannot stop myself from pondering what the future holds or the next steps we must take. There are problems we have swept under the rug for the time being, but sooner or later, they will demand an answer.”

“…did you really just advise me to rest while admitting you will not do so yourself?”

Y’shtola chuckles hesitantly and swills her wine, watching the deep red liquid swirl around her glass. “What can I say? Do not follow in my footsteps, I am but a poor example.” A grim expression settles across her face, and she takes a long drink. “These festivities are not confined to the Crystarium, but span the whole of Norvrandt. And on a night like this, my mind turns to Slitherbough and the Night’s Blessed. They have been my home for these intervening years, and I know all too well there will come a time when we must return to whence we came.”

“I know.” Aureia’s fingers tighten on her glass. A strange lump forms in her throat. “It’s not something I’m keen to think about.”

Y’shtola raises an eyebrow.

Her stomach twists and she flushes. “You said Slitherbough has been your home these past few years,” she says quickly, desperate to explain herself. “When I think of home, there’s not one place on the Source that calls to me that way. I’ve been displaced since I left Garlemald. I once thought to call Ul’dah my home and you know how that ended. The Rising Stones is our base of operations, but I wouldn’t think to call that a home. I have an apartment in Shirogane, but I haven’t been back since we left Othard—”

“You have an apartment? This is the first I’m hearing of it.”

“Ah… It was supposed to be a secret. Tataru knows, but I needed her help with a landlord who was a little too eager to upsell to a foreigner.”

“I can imagine how that went.”

“He dropped the price after a single meeting.”

“A wise decision. Mayhap there is a modicum of intelligence left in landlords after all.”

Aureia snorts. She casts a sideways glance at her friend, catching a glimmer of deadpan amusement in her eye. “I can’t imagine what kind of disaster it must be now,” she continues. “It was little more than a bare room to begin with and I filled it with potted plants to satisfy a measly attempt at gardening. Either they’ve taken it over entirely or they’re all dead.”

“If Tataru knows of its existence, I am quite certain she has sent someone to handle the upkeep in your absence whether you like it or not.”

“Perhaps, but that’s besides the point! I brought this up to say that when I think of home, the Crystarium is the place that comes to mind. I love this city and its people, Shtola. And Ryne is here. I don’t know if I will ever be prepared to say goodbye, though I know we must someday soon. And so I haven’t given it much thought—at first because there was no time, and then later because I didn’t want to.”

Y’shtola regards her carefully. “And I have given it too much. Of the six of us, you are unique in your circumstances. You are here physically, united in body, mind, and soul. You alone can traverse the rift between Source and shard, visit either world whenever you so please. Not so for the rest of us.”

Aureia’s mouth tightens. “I haven’t forgotten the circumstances that brought you here, believe me,” she says grimly, raising her glass to her lips. She swallows a mouthful, the tart lemon water going bitter on her tongue.

“We are of twin worlds now, with duties and responsibilities to each. However, in the end we can only choose one. I cannot speak for the others, but I fear that if we ignore the reality of our existence here, the laws of nature will decide for us. Every day I am reminded that my presence here is by virtue of my soul made manifest. A fact that is undoubtedly unsustainable in the long term.”

“You mean to say that your souls cannot last forever if they remain separate from your bodies.”

“Indeed. The discovery of a method to reunite them is now of paramount importance. And my heart aches at the thought—not only for myself, but for us all and especially for Thancred. It is not that I think any of us do not wish to return to the Source, but rather once we are gone, it will be nigh impossible to return. We all have dear ones to whom it will be devastating to permanently say goodbye.”

Aureia lowers her glass, watching her friend closely. There is a strange look in Y’shtola’s face, one she has only seen once—in the Greatwood, after her reckless use of Flow. “Is this about Runar?” she asks.

A hint of a smile touches Y’shtola’s lips. She stares ahead, absently sipping on her wine, draining it to its last dregs. Her eyes burn with the kind of intensity that only arises when struck with the desire to take on a new challenge. “You and Thancred will not always be on the First,” she says, adeptly sidestepping the question. “Have you considered what will become of Ryne when that time comes?”

The question hang in the air and Aureia flushes at the directness. Uncertain how to answer, she scans the Quadrivium again. The music has ended for the time being and the dancers have gone their separate ways. She spots the twins easily—Alphinaud sits on the steps with G’raha, engrossed in conversation, while Alisaie has attracted the attention of a pixie. They circle her head, their colourful wings flashing in the warm lights, giggling at her appalled expression. A little ways away, Ryne sits on the lawn with Moren, enthusiastically telling him one tale or another. When she catches sight of Aureia, her face lights up. She raises a hand and waves, grinning with delight.

Aureia smiles, a joyful ache tugging at heart. Ryne has come so far in the past few moons, accepting her powers and legacy on her own terms and carving out an identity for herself that is no longer controlled by the demands of others. She couldn’t be more proud of her. And though she has not known her for long in the grand scheme of things, there is something powerful that binds them together, something that Aureia has never been able to fully express. She is not merely a mentor or a friend or a guardian, but something that surpasses all three.

“Aureia?” Y’shtola presses.

Aureia pauses. “I… No. Not yet. To be honest, I don’t know if that is something I am ready to contend with.”

“You love her dearly.”

“Yes.”

“Not unlike mother to daughter, if it’s not too bold to say.”

Aureia turns to her, eyes wide, the weight of the realization washing over her. “Nothing escapes your notice, does it,” she says quietly, still taken aback. Distracted, she raises her glass to her lips and drains the remaining water.

Y’shtola lets out a little sigh. “I should apologize. I did not mean to be so forward. And with regards to the points laid bare before, I did not mean to cloud your mind with a matter like this on an eve of celebration.”

“There’s no need to apologize. No matter how much reason we have to celebrate tonight, it does not mean that you can’t be concerned about the future. As you said, I am not in the same circumstances as you, but I think I know something about being terrified of the unknown when your very existence is on the line—”

“I am not terrified. I know we will resolve this conundrum. If G’raha can unlock the secrets of time and space, we can find a method to return our souls to our bodies. No, Aureia, the thought I cannot excise from my mind is the rift between worlds. There must be a way to traverse it without the encumbrances we have faced. There must.” She trails off and shakes her head. “I am sorry, I did not mean to become so contemplative this evening. Thank you, my friend, for indulging these nonsensical thoughts of mine.”

“They’re not nonsensical. I’ll make you a promise right now, Shtola. Someday we will find a way to breach the gap. No matter how long it takes.”

She laughs. “If there is one thing I can count on, it is for you to be as reckless and stubborn as I. Mark me—I will hold you to this promise.”

“I would want nothing less.”

Y’shtola smiles, warmth and affection brightening her face. With a little nod of her head and a swish of her tail, she excuses herself and sets off across the Quadrivium. Aureia raises a hand in farewell and heads up the stairs, returning into the tavern proper.

Not unlike mother to daughter, if it’s not too bold to say.

The words circle her mind with every step she takes. The revelation feels strange, new… and yet it fits. Once again, Y’shtola has shown an uncanny ability to see directly into the heart of the matter and bring it to light. And now she is grappling with it, there is only one person with whom she can discuss it.

Striding purposefully across the tavern, Aureia returns her finished glass to the bar and takes off in search of Thancred.

[aethon-recs]

24 Tomarrymort Recs for 2022 (One-Shot Edition)

A thank-you to the Tomarrymort community, inspired by @sitp-recs's wonderful rec lists!

Criteria for this list: one-shot, complete, published in 2022. I tried to include a wide array of tropes and themes and ratings, but of course I haven't read everything published on AO3 in the past year, so please always feel free to drop fic suggestions in my Ask box! I aimed for 22 fics (for 2022) but found too many unforgettable fics in my bookmarks, so 24 it is.

(Standard rec list disclaimers apply: please mind the tags; this is not intended as the ultimate reclist, only a reflection of my own tastes + what I had time to read this year; recs are arranged alphabetically by fic title.)

Multi-chaptered fics and WIPs will get their own posts, but for now, please enjoy these wonderful one-shots that were all written in the last year and remind me of how multifaceted and talented our little corner of the fandom is! These amazing authors made me gasp and cry and laugh and heavy breathe (sometimes all within the same fic). *

Tomarrymort Recs (One-Shot Edition)

Alive Really Isn't Your Color by @meles-merrivale (T, 6k)

A beautifully written, bittersweet take on Harry's life after the war and what it means to fall in love with someone you're supposed to hate and who's supposed to be dead. There's so many stunning, evocative lines from this fic that I could quote, but I'll leave you with this one: "How did Harry ever think Voldemort didn’t understand emotion? The man feels everything, feels it with his whole body, twisting his face and coiling his magic and tearing apart the world with the force of it."

contrapasso by hanamichi (E, 13k)

This was GRIPPING from beginning to end. The author does an incredible job with showcasing Harry's struggling emotional state after the war, and his grief is just so palpable. Harry and Voldemort's dynamic is gorgeous here.

From Every Ruin by @officialsporkintheroad (M, 5k)

Time loops beloved! This was such a clever take on the classic graveyard encounter, and there's nothing more that I love seeing than Harry losing it with every successive time loop.

Gaunt by @wixen-writes-tomarry (M, 8k)

A sense of uneasiness pervades this fic — lots of haunting prose and elements of psychological horror — it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. A must-read if you like alternate takes on Harry encountering another one of Tom's horcruxes (in this case, the ring horcrux).

In Your Image by @perhaps-sunlight (T, 11k)

An AU loosely based on the Portrait of Dorian Gray, with Tom as a painter who's found immortality and eternal youth by stealing his victims' souls away and what happens when he sets his eyes on Harry— very suspenseful and gripping throughout, and I love how it cleverly weaves in elements of canon that were very fun to recognize!

knock it off by TheOnceandFutureQueenofTarts (E, 3k)

Harry having a masochistic streak is a characterization that I adore, and this fic does an amazing job delving into this aspect of his psychosexual development that by the time he meets the locket horcrux, it all goes downhill from there. It's also so funny and written in a snappy way, I laughed out loud at the ending.

Love at First Sight by @dividawrites (E, 5k)

One of the funniest things I've ever read in this ship — every single line of Harry's desperate pleading to Voldemort had me howling. And it wouldn't be a Divida fic without super hot smut at the end (featuring! actual! hemipenes!!) The best take on creature inheritance trope I've read.

My Decorated Horcrux by @youknowmevj (E, 4k)

I love Voldemort wins AUs; it's fascinating to explore the dynamic that he'd have with Harry in his new regime, and oh, does this fic deliver! Voldemort adorning Harry and showing him off is always a treat, plus Harry remaining his defiant self — so many fun elements in this PWP.

on the other side by @philolust (E, 3k)

One of the most haunting things I've read this year. Voldemort's POV is surprisingly heartbreaking; actually, the whole fic is heartbreaking. I don't want to give too much away, but this is an EXCELLENT take on the trapped-in-a-room trope.

On the rejection of love by Baryshnikov (T, 2k)

A really interesting exploration of Tom being aroace and what that means in terms of being in a relationship with Harry. I love this author's series on aroace Tom overall; it was hard to pick a favorite!

paradise / circus by but_seriously (E, 5k)

Snappy banter and really hot smut in this PWP, a perfect generation mashup that showcases a great depiction of how Harry doesn't actually hate Tom as much as he claims 😊

Personal Assistant by @phantomato (E, 10k)

This one is an absolute masterpiece, an incredible study in suspense. It's a really unique take on a universe where Voldemort never comes back after his initial downfall on Oct 31, 1981, and features a very realistic depiction on who Harry grows to be if he didn't have the formative childhood adventures that we saw in the books. There's an incredibly skillfully crafted mystery at the heart of this story, and when it all comes together in the end, I screamed and gasped and immediately reread it looking for clues that Phantomato had layered in all throughout.

saw you in a dream by @duplicitywrites (E, 2k)

Dream sex with Voldemort! The writing is so ethereal and floaty and poetic, packed full of intensely sensual phrases like, "Its shadowy form sinks deeper into Harry's body, soothing him. Harry can feel it everywhere, like ice through his veins, like they’re two halves of the same whole." It's the perfect dream sex sequence fic 💖

Sola Fide by @crowcrowcrowthing (M, 8k)

So very atmospheric and a fascinating depiction of ritual magic and Voldemort as an actual god! AUs are a really great way to explore what makes the core of a character — that even if it's the characters thrust in different circumstances, you can still tell who they are at their core, and this fic does a fantastic job of reimagining Harry and Voldemort meeting under different circumstances.

Something New by @itsevanffs (E, 2k)

A fresh (and super hot!) take on A/B/O dynamics, featuring both Alpha Harry and Alpha Tom, with both of them overriding their natural instincts in different ways in order to be with each other. The control, the restraint, the desperation, the taboo-ness of what they're doing within their society — all amazing elements that have made this into one of my favorite A/B/O dynamics that I've read. Alpha/Alpha is so underrated! (Also, not a tag that can be filtered yet on AO3, for some reason).

such a heavenly way to die by driftingsea (M, 7k)

This was SO clever and funny, and an amazing play on Harry being MoD. I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say this fic perfectly captures how murder is the ultimate Tomarry love language.

take this kiss (upon the brow) by @audair (T, 2k)

Incredibly beautiful and poetic prose. The mysterious backstory behind the Tomarry established relationship had me on the edge of my seat. This is one I'll reread over and over again for the haunting and atmospheric prose.

The gift by @metalomagnetic (E, 1.6k)

The perfect follow-up to 'Either must die' told from Voldemort's POV — surprisingly sweet and, not surprisingly, very sexy. As always, Metalo's fics pack a huge emotional punch; this one accomplishes it in just 1600 words — every single sentence is emotionally significant and not a single word is wasted - a must-read if you've read EMD.

the monster you (don't) see by Lils_White (E, 2k)

Harry pining for Voldemort after the war. A lovely, haunting, perfect depiction of dream sex, where you've left wondering what is a dream and what is real.

The Ties That Bind by @mosiva (E, 8k)

Mosiva writes an amazing Harry and Tom dynamic, as well as consistently delivers on great smut, and Tom here is a gem. This fic showcases Tom at his manipulative (sexiest) best, and the progression of Harry growing more drawn to Tom feels very natural and unrushed. Also, did I mention how hot the smut is? The author has other chaptered works that are worth checking out as well, if you like this dynamic!

The Train Station at Forever by @vdoshu (T, 1k)

This is one of the most deeply emotional takes I've seen on the endless reincarnation cycles theme (usually due to Harry being MoD and Voldemort being tied to Harry's soul). In just 1000 words, Doshu does an amazing job of capturing the angst and torment of Harry and Tom achieving "immortality" in this manner, and left me in shivers.

We Still Have Time by @duplicitywrites (T, 9k)

This was SO BEAUTIFUL and SO SAD, an incredible depiction of holding onto someone you love even after death, and I can't even think about this fic without wanting to weep. One of the most heartwrenching things I've read in all of fanfic, in all of my years reading fanfic. I very rarely cry reading fics, and god, I cry every time I've reread this fic. This is duplicity angst at its finest.

Wrath of the Lamb by @penmanner (M, 6k)

One of the most unique takes I've seen on Harry time-traveling to Tom's time in the 1940s. Something goes wrong, and Harry has amnesia but still a sense of purpose. The author's writing is gorgeous and poetic and does an amazing job of illustrating how disorienting Harry's experience is. I absolutely LOVE the amnesia trope, and this fic does it amazing justice.

you, me, a room we made by @kkeikatt (E, 9k)

This PWP was a delight to read. Voldemort and Harry trapped in a room together and the best option is to fuck each other? YES. Sign me up. The smut is extended and memorable and oh so glorious.

*

[lincolnchristie]

*waves hand in the air like a beauty queen* Just Hello.*

Welcome to my professional tumblr. I’m Lincoln, and I’m a fantasy/science fiction author. I’m fond of murder mysteries, powers that come with a price, and mythology.

Most of you will probably know me already, actually, as tumblr user @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels. *jazz hands* Surprise, ‘tis I!

For a long time I resisted the idea of self-publishing. I didn’t want to start from the ground-up in building an audience because I’m not great at this whole social media thing and I hated that idea. However, I finally grew too frustrated with how the traditional publishing world treats its authors and said screw it. We’re gonna try doing this on my own.

And, uh, I’ve come to realize, I actually do have an audience. My lovely fanfiction readers.

My hope is that, since you all enjoy my fanfiction, you’ll want to check out my original writing, too. I will say up front that there are some differences such as a darker tone, heavier subjects, romance is not the main plot, etc. But, if you like my more plot-centric and serious fanfics, then I think you’ll like these original works of mine. I like to play around with themes and worlds similar to the ones found in those stories.

*vibrates with excitement* Which is why I'm launching my Patreon!!!

I have also, shocker of shockers to myself more than anyone, written a poetry collection. It's titled Manifesto of a Blossoming Supervillain and you can purchase it here on my website (I have a website!!!) in e-book with paperback coming in the next few days.

But my Patreon is where I'll be posting, chapter by chapter, my fantasy murder mystery novel A Masque of Shadows.

When the controversial regent of the city-state of Serenissima is murdered on the first night of Masquerade, Captain Matthias has to sort through spurned lovers, murderous family members, and scheming nobles to prevent war from breaking out. It's Murder on the Orient Express meets Game of Thrones starring a very tired autistic bisexual who's just trying to get through the holiday season.

What can I say, I want to see if you all can solve the mystery in real time. ;)

My Patreon is also where you'll get lots of sneak peak info about my other novels such as character art and playlists, worldbuilding info, deleted and bonus scenes, character backstory, and director's commentary.

The first novel that I plan to release in full is Pestilence, the first in my Horsemen Quartet:

When four women raised in a dead world come back to life, they find they're no longer entirely human... and the undead are no longer the worst threat they have to face in the wasteland.

It's currently with my sensitivity and beta readers, and the hope is to publish it in September (because I'm a masochist, I guess).

You also get pictures of my cats, Mr. Fluffernutter and Cuddlebug!

(They like to sit in the window and judge people.)

The audience I’ve built up with my fanfiction was rather like falling asleep. It happened slowly, and then all at once. I’m still blown away every day by the number of people who’ve read and enjoyed my stories on Ao3. I hope, if you are one of those people, that you will consider supporting me and join my Patreon to support my original work. These stories are near and dear to my heart, and I deeply love the characters in them. I hope that you all will, too.

*no I could not resist a MsScribe reference, sorry not sorry

[missmaywemeetagain]

Pink Scarf - Epilogue (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years.  [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: SEX. FLUFF (!!). Cussing. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline.  

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact)        ||     Word Count: 2.6k

A/N:  Oh, lord, here we are. THE END. It seems highly fitting that it all comes to a close on our man's birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELVIS DARLIN') 💗 So here's some tooth-rotting, sexy fluff for you because I love them and I love y'all.

I have heard your requests for a paperback/ebook loud and clear (ahhh, thank you!) and can tell you I am writing bonus material as we speak and working on the process of self-publishing through Amazon. I will warn you that the physical book is gonna be HUGE (my estimate is close to 600 pages with the bonus material added 😂), but that does mean the cost of the physical book will be a little spendy (not outrageous or anything) because of the cost of printing. Just wanted to let you know in advance!

Also, I know in the past that people were interested in me dropping in for a Q & A type thing on Discord or Twitter Spaces to talk about Pink Scarf...is this something y'all are interested in still? (If not, totally okay!) Let me know in the comments if that sounds like something you'd want!

I sincerely hope y'all will stick around for my next projects as I try to get my writing career off the ground. I'm hoping to soon have a website and an Amazon page up and running soonish so you can follow my other works. I'll keep you posted! Y'all are the OG's and the best fans a girl could ask for! 💗

If you so desire, you should now have the ability to tip my blog or different chapters in the story! Of course, no one is obligated to do so! If you do choose to tip, thank you so much! I've never had anyone want to pay for my work before, so this is a big step towards my romance novelist dreams. 💜

Finally, and I can't say this enough, I am so FREAKIN' GRATEFUL for every single one of you babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY! I didn't in a million years expect this kind of support and response for Pink Scarf, and your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments you've given me have been a blessing beyond expression. You all are the best community a writer could ask for! Thank you so much for your support and generosity. I am loving getting to know y'all better! I love every single reaction and comment and ask, and I'm sorry if I don't get back to them all as soon as I'd like but know that I love you all and am so excited to be making new friends! And a big "Hey, Y'all!" to our friends from Elvis Twitter, Elvis Discord, and Elvis Instagram--I see and appreciate you coming over to join us! 👀💋

I also want to give a special shout out to my flower, Daisy, @powerofelvis for keeping me sane (relatively lol) and on track throughout this whole process. Thank you for all your encouragement and love (and for listening to me scream into the void), baby! 💜

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks)! I know I'm terribly slow at getting to them but I love every single one!

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat! 

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch. 

(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my AO3 account, as well as my NEW Wattpad account. so if you are so inclined, you can check it out/support me over there with kudos and votes and whatnot!)

Graceland, New Year’s Eve, 1969

The mansion you now call home still sparkles with Christmas decorations as you make your way through the throng of friends and visitors, smiling and laughing, sipping on a delicious champagne that you are positive is ridiculously expensive for the way it melts on your tongue. Everyone is rested and in great spirits, as 1969 was a monumentally successful year for Elvis Presley Enterprises and all those involved.

For you, it’s been a monumental year in many ways. You would never have imagined six months ago that by the end of the year you’d be in the midst of divorcing Jack, preparing for your new career as a backup singer, and moving into Graceland with Elvis, who you are wildly, madly in love with.

A whirlwind, to say the least.

Speak of the devil, you feel that telltale rise of goosebumps on your skin, that magical sixth sense you are now so aware of when you know that Elvis is watching you. You turn from your conversation with Joe and his wife Joanie to find Elvis gazing at you from across the living room with a dangerously coy smile playing on his lips and that unmistakable glint in his eyes. The heat of the look sets your body aflame, a flush rising quickly to your cheeks.

Lord in heaven, this man, you think, giving him a furrow of your brow and a disbelieving look back, only this man would be so bold as to want to take me in the middle of a party at his own damn house.  

But damn it if he doesn’t even waver, completely uncaring that any of the guests might see the blatantly sexual, heated intensity of his stare. He calls it “that lean and hungry look,” and you cannot help the shiver that cascades down your spine because you know he’s about to eat you alive, party be damned.

And sure enough, he strides across the room as if no one else is here, and saying nothing at all, grabs your hand and yanks you away from your conversation. You briefly catch the look of surprise from Joanie and Joe’s smirk before being whisked away.

“Elvis!” you whisper loudly enough for him to hear you, “We have guests!” You manage to set your champagne flute on a nearby table before doubling your steps to try and keep up with his long strides.

He gives no indication of hearing you, though you know he has. But he is singularly focused, which sends warmth into your core and wetness already pooling in your panties because you know what’s coming.

He surprises you by not even making it up the stairs to the bedroom, instead pulling you into the half bathroom on the lower level. You yelp at the change in direction and then he’s slamming you up against the door while locking it at the same time.

Your yelp quickly turns into a quiet moan because his large hands and luscious mouth are suddenly everywhere, all at once. His lips crush into yours, then burn down your neck, sending fire into your belly, and you can’t help but respond. Your hands fly to his head, raking through his scalp. His hand grips the outside of your bare thigh, hitching it up to his waist, his hand slipping under the hem of your dress.

He rolls his pelvis slowly and deliberately into yours. He’s already rock hard, and the sensation of his bulge pressing into your core through his pants has you groaning a little too loud, considering you have a house full of people. Elvis doesn’t say a word though, he just smirks and places a ring-clad hand over your mouth.

That action alone has you melting into a puddle because you know, you just know how he’s going to take you: quick and dirty.

“You better be quiet, lil’ mama, or ev’ryone’s gonna know I’m fuckin’ ya senseless,” he whispers, his hot breath tickling the shell of your ear. You can smell the musk of arousal on him, the pheromones so strong they are nearly dizzying. He nibbles the lobe of your ear possessively. This action coupled with his words sends sparks showering through you.

You think you might come apart already, and he’s barely touched you.

His brilliant blues are blown black when he draws away. Free hand snaking up your thigh, his fingers first dance over your soaked panties, then dip them underneath the delicate fabric to graze up through your folds and straight to your clit.

Your eyes roll back, his hand muffling the moans that escape your throat involuntarily. He’s so worked up already, he doesn’t tease you long. Two long fingers plunge knuckle deep into your wet heat, the cold edges of his rings making you squirm a little at the intrusion. You begin panting into his hand as he so expertly thrusts and curves them to give you the maximum amount of pleasure as he stretches you out.

This doesn’t last long, though. He’s too far gone and much too needy for foreplay. A deeply primal instinct has taken over the man you love—you can see it written all over his handsome face. And you welcome it, even as you whimper at the loss of his digits when he unceremoniously pulls them out of you. You welcome it as he spins you around, pushing you up against the door. You welcome it gladly as he hikes your dress up to your waist and rips your lacy panties right off your body.

You gasp, hearing the tearing of fabric as your flushed cheek is pressed into the wood of the door, shivering both from the exposure of the air on your bare ass and for what you know is next. Soon after, you hear the clink of his heavy belt and the woosh of his pants as they thump to the floor and then he’s filling you so completely that you are clawing at the door for purchase.

He can’t stop the growl that comes from within when he sinks deep inside you to the hilt, bottoming out quickly. He’s impatient and does not linger, however, instead pulling back and thrusting into you hard, gripping your hips like his life depends on it.

You manage to keep your gasps quiet as he sets a relentless pace. Your entire body tingles, the obscene sounds from your joining sending you hurtling towards the edge of your own release. He knows your body so well, rubbing desperate circles on your clit that, along with the way he’s filling you, already has your legs shaking and abdomen tensing with pleasure.

Neither of you are going to last long. It’s evident as your breathing speeds up and the coil in your belly snaps, causing you to hit your climax hard with a strangled cry. The wave crests fast,and your walls tense and flutter around him. You love how he still can make you see stars, even in these circumstances. His hips stutter, the rhythm faltering, and he follows soon after you with a relieved and gracious groan, pulsing and coating your walls with his arousal.

Heavy breathing is the only sound in the tiny space. Elvis envelops you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face into your hair as he pulls you close. You live for these moments when he’s stripped vulnerable, his love so evident and overflowing, making even a bathroom quickie more like making love than you’d had in over a decade of marriage.

You sigh into him, and he kisses the back of your head. “Sorry about your panties, baby,” he whispers almost bashfully into your ear.

You can’t help but laugh, “At the rate you go through ruining them, you might as well just buy me the whole store, love.”

Elvis pulls out and turns you around, grasping your chin before pulling you into a deep kiss. It has you melting into his arms, but you know you can’t stay there long, not with a house full of people.

The swell of love you feel for this wonderful, talented, charismatic man is incredible. So many years of shared history has made it easy to slip into a comfortable life with him, so much so that you almost forget what your life was like before. It’s not without its challenges, certainly. He is still mercurial, and you still get locked up in your own head sometimes. The both of you are stubborn as hell, especially now that you’ve taken more agency for yourself in this relationship, more than you ever had with Jack.

As you pull apart and clean up, you feel incredibly lucky that things have worked out the way they have, despite so many years of struggles to make your way to each other.

Once put back together (though sure some of your guests will know exactly what was going on in the bathroom), you reach for the door. Elvis stops you.

“I was gonna wait ‘til midnight and make it a big thing, but I just can’t,” he drawls behind you.

“Wait for what?” you ask quizzically, turning around.

You gasp and your heart begins to gallop in your chest as you watch him sink to one knee as best he can in the tiny space. He pulls a little black box from his pocket. You’re afraid your heart might flutter right out of your body at the sight of it.

“You make me a better man, baby. I love you so much it hurts sometimes, and I thank God every day that He put you in my life. I can’t imagine tryin’ to go another day without you by my side. Now, I know it feels real soon, but if we’re honest, it’s been a long time comin’, and I-I-I know you’re still in the middle of the divorce and all, but y/n, would you do me the honor of bein’ my wife?” Elvis asks, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Your heart drops into your stomach. It’s both exhilaration and trepidation all at once, flooding every part of you. Part of you screams with excitement: Of course! Of course! Of course, I’ll be your wife!

But another part is filled with latent fear—fear of being consumed by another marriage so soon, still afraid that this man before you will love you and leave you like the rest. Elvis had said many times over the years that he wasn’t really interested in marriage, and you can’t help but think of that in this moment, as much as you don’t want to.

“Elvis,” you manage to breathe, “I thought…I thought you said you weren’t the ‘marrying kind’? That you didn’t want to be tied down? Are you…are you sure?”

You watch something flash in his eyes for a moment before he looks up at you again. He stands and takes your hands in his. “I-I said that cuz I didn’t think I could ever have you. I knew I couldn’t marry anyone else, wouldn’t be right. You’re the only one I ever truly wanted. I-I-I…you’re my soulmate, y/n. It’s only ever been you, honey,” he says quietly, laying it all out for you, as he pushes an errant strand of your hair behind your ear.

A happy tear trickles down your face. You know he loves you—he tells you every day. But this is so much more than that. You didn’t realize he’d put his entire life on hold for you like this. His soulmate.

As much as it scares you, you know it’s true. He’s right. This inexplicable pull that’s been between the two of you for all this time, the pull you tried so desperately to ignore and forget for so many years, is stronger than anything you’ve ever felt for anyone in your life. Every cell in your body yearns for him, and he feels like home. You fit together perfectly. Now that you’re finally in sync, everything just works.

You cannot ignore the truth that finding your way to each other after all these years feels utterly meant to be. He is there when you need him. He brings out a side of you that you never knew existed—in the bedroom, with your music, your unyielding love for him, even in the hardest moments.

The way he gazes at you now, full of hope and love, makes your knees weak. But part of you is still scared that it’s too soon, that you’ll lose yourself all over again.

Elvis reads your mind, sensing your doubts in that intuitive way of his. “The wedding part doesn’t hafta be right away…I know we gotta wait for the divorce to be final anyway. But whenever you’re ready, whenever you’re comfortable, I’ll be here,” he says, pressing his forehead to yours.

This sends a sense of relief through you, a release of pressure. Finally, you find your voice. “Let me be your everything?” you whisper, taking his face in your hands, your eyes searching his deep and worldly ones.

Elvis knows what you are asking of him, and he doesn’t think twice. His lips curl up into that beautiful grin of his as he nods. “Yes, everything,” he says back.

“Then yes, yes, I will be your wife,” you laugh, through more happy tears.

“Yes?” he asks joyfully, just to be sure.

“Yes!” you squeal as he scoops you up in his arms, pressing his pliant and soft lips to yours.

His hands shake adorably when he slides the tasteful yet extravagantly sized diamond on your ring finger.

And it sits perfectly, as though his ring was always meant to be there. You both stare at it for a moment, your hand resting on top of his.

Squeezing your hand, Elvis looks at you with a boyish kind of awe. “Are you happy, baby?” he asks quietly, his long lashes fanning out as he runs his eyes over your face.

A moment of déjà vu hits you. He’s asked you this before, many different times, and those moments flash through your head, reminding you of your deep history together. The history you now remember and share.

All he’s ever really wanted to do is make me happy, you realize. The thought sends warmth blooming through you.

You look up at him, into that handsome face that you want to spend eternity with. “Oh, I’m more than happy, my love,” you respond. And you are. So much so, you almost don’t believe it.  Then you pull him down for a sweet, soft kiss. He drinks you in as if you are oxygen, bringing you closer.

“Are you happy?” you ask as you nuzzle his nose.

“Darlin’, I’m so happy I wanna sing from the rooftop,” he drawls, grabbing your ass. “I’ll marry ya right here in this damn bathroom, if I gotta. Gonna make you Mrs. Y/n Presley. Then I wanna parade you around and let everyone know you’re mine.” He almost growls the last part and presses his long body into yours.

You laugh. “Well, I don’t think we have to resort to getting married in the bathroom, but Mrs. Y/n Presley has quite the nice ring to it,” you say, smiling, putting your hands in his back pockets.

“I love you,” Elvis says unabashedly, suddenly serious.

“I love you, too,” you whisper, kissing him again. “Now let’s go tell everyone how I’m gonna make an honest man out of you.”

He laughs at that, a big and boisterous sound that makes your own heart sing.

And it will do so for the rest of your days.

*THE END*

Please let me know in the comments/DMs/asks if you are interested in me doing a Pink Scarf Q & A type thing on Discord/Spaces! 💗🧣💗

Taglist:

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@jazmin2211  @kvcssghbjbcd @coldonexx @dudinhahoff @whatstruthgottodowithit @tiredbuthappy  @amiets2  @saintmagx

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[stashandtell]

Some Recommendations for Fics That Influenced My Weasley-Ship Rankings

I ranked all my favorite Hermione/X Weasley Sibiling in my most recent post Nobody Asked For This: My Rankings of the Hermione x Weasley Ships with REASONS. Here are some recs to back my completely biased opinons. And now, you can read my fic, Ranking the Weasleys on AO3! - - - - As I sometimes mention on the internet, I keep a WILDLY long and fairly detailed spreadsheet of all the fanfics I've read. I've not been in the fandom long at all but due to life circumstances, I've had too much time on my hands since diving in and have allowed this special interest to wash over me and my whole life like the warm, scented water in the Prefects' giant bathtub. (I hit over 800 works read on my spreadsheet a few days ago and am going to do a numerical analysis and breakdown no one requested, so come back for the data if you're curious.) I've pulled some of my fave fics for my main Hermione x Weasley Sibling pairings -- though I have SO MANY MORE. All of these are mid-length to longfics (~30K-100k+ words, except for one) and are complete, unless noted. Normally I'd copy-and-paste the author's summary but since I'm going to be recommending many here-- I'll give you my 1-3 sentence take on the fic and encourage you to read the author's summary and tags. We're going in descending birth-order by sibling here to keep things tidy: Billmione: What's nuts to me about the Billmione ship is that I don't have a ton of fics I would enthusiastically recommend that explain why I love this pairing so much. I'm not a huge werewolf-ish fan, the age-gap isn't something that inspires my reading that much, and, to be completely honest, sometimes Bill is dry toast in a fic and replaceable with almost any other character. That said, for those of us who love a rare-pair, we feast on the scraps. We love the moments that fuel our headcanons and it's the cumulative experience of developing our own understanding of these characters that drives us into the arms of these fics more than anything. I had a difficult time pulling general recs for this ship, only because so few encapsulate what's I love about Hermione and Bill together (in my mind) in a singular work. I'll keep searching though and plug away at adding my 3 Billmione WIPs to offerings out there, to keep the flag flying. To be perfectly clear: These are GREAT fics I highly recommend. I just don't think of any one of them as the touchstone fic for my love of this pair (imo.) Still Strong by DietCokeofEvil, inspired by I Am Strong by floatsdelicately

Word Count: 38,780 / 19 Chapters

Summary: When Ron leaves Hermione without an explanation a month before their wedding, Bill returns the friendship and care she gave him when he and Fleur separated. They fall in love and build a life together.

My Comments: I read I Am Strong first and I have to say, I loved the two stories together. It's maybe even worth reading I Am Strong before Still Strong because that's how the publishing/inspiration-order goes.

Through the Ages by LadyBlack3

Word Count: 30,301 / 11 Chapters

Summary: Hermione and Bill team up to help research possible causes for a disease spreading through Charlie's dragon reserve and find themselves drawn to each other.

My Comments: This is a fun fic with a plot that keeps things moving. I love them coming together as full-fledged adults with their own lives.

I was torn on recommending Cairo Nights by GillianSteele instead of Through the Ages because they're both excellent examples of this ship, so I'll drop it here as an honorable mention if you're looking for more!

- - - - Charmione: There are SO MANY good Charmiones on my list but I need limits. I would say none of these are exactly emblematic of the typical well-loved Charmione fics, as they don't spend time on the Reserve-- but if you're looking for more recs, feel free to ask me on tumblr or leave a comment and I can happily suggest many more. Last Christmas by KittenShift17

Word Count: 17,079 / One Shot

Summary: Last Christmas, Hermione drunkenly snogged Charlie when she mistook him for Ron and shortly after she broke up with him. This Christmas, she's back at the Burrow and anxious to see Charlie again after thinking about him all year.

My Comments: This was one of the very first Charmione works I read and I recommend it to most my friends looking to get into the ship. As a hefty one-shot, it's a pretty satisfying fic with great Weasley banter and it's on my list of fics to re-read this winter when it's time to get cozy around the holidays. If you like this, check out I Saw Mummy (mind the tag) by Amebb42. Last Christmas is the shortest of all the fics I'm recommending.

Creature Comforts by neilstic

Word Count: 34,588 / 5 Chapters

Summary: Hermione and Charlie are both Hogwarts professors and are into each other. They are also good friends who get to do some fun time travel exploration thanks to the secrets of the castle.

My Comments: This fic is SO well written and snort-out-loud funny. I think of it often and it's not the typical Charmione fic, which is why I wanted to shout it out.

The Eventually Ever After Series by Huffleclaws19 deserves an appreciation post on its own and I HIGHLY recommend it of you're a fan of Charmione and Theomione. It's worth reading it in order. Merry Christmas to Me (the first in the series) is already on my Top-Tier List of all-time faves but the whole series arc is so, so good. Consider this a MOST honorable mention.

- - - - Permione: The Always Series by Simply_Lovely_Reader consists of two stories: Unlikely, which is Hermione's POV and Possibly, which is Percy's.

Word Count: Unlikely - 15,537 / 11 Chapters Possibly - 26,754 / 13 Chapters

Summary: Percy catches Hermione pleasuring herself to thoughts of him in his bed in the Burrow immediately before they start working together at the Ministry. Romance and pining occur.

My Comments: I was overjoyed to find that there was a Percy POV fic for this story but if you only pick one, read Unlikley, which is Hermione's POV.

Reflector by Calebski

Word Count: 39,692 / 7 Chapters

Summary: Hermione seeks Percy's help in finding career her path after the war they're both so changed by. He finds himself seeking her out as well as they develop a friendship and so much more.

My Comments: This author wrote one of my all-time top 3, won't-shut-up-about-my-love-for-it fics, Flourishing Devotion, a Nevmione canon re-write. I really dig their style (Venus Flytrap, another Nevmione is great too.) This Permione delivered.

- - - - Fremione: Fremione recommendations tend to fall in to a few buckets, which often overlap 1) Fred Lives 2) Fred Dies, per the canon 3) Canon rewrites of Fred & Hermione developing feelings during the Hogwarts years There are several WONDERFUL canon re-writes I'll include a few as honorable mentions.

Salve Amor by moonfairy13

Word Count: 31,974 / 20 Chapters

Summary: Hermione saves Fred's life with a bonding spell that can only be cast by someone who carries love for the person they're saving. She doesn't want Fred to know or feel tied to her so of course miscommunications and meddling ensue.

My Comments: The author, moonfairy13, has so many great fics worth checking out. What was great about this one is that the whole fic centers around the Fred Lives turning point.

I Can Love You Like That by LSU Sweetie

Word Count: 31,357 / 12 Chapters

Summary: Fred and Hermione are the last two single people in their friend group at the winter holidays. Hermione wants a relationship and is interested in Fred but has also started to get gifts from a secret admirer.

My Comments: I love a grown-up Fred and Hermione. LSUsweetie has some great works with different pairings and I particularly absolutely freaking loved Festive Fates. This is worth reading because the pairing is undisclosed, so you gotta read it to find out. Paraphrasing the author's summary: Hermione ends up pregnant after a night with a mystery man at New Year's Eve masquerade party right before she has to leave for a year-long work assignment. When she returns the following Christmas, she brings a baby with red hair to the Burrow and hopes to find answers.

Honorable Mentions, Canon Rewrites:

Don't You Know You've Got the Best of Me by raquains

Deal or No Deal by LetticeDouffet

Steel and Soft Smiles by TricksterGhost7 and its companion work, Little Glimpses

Oh So Many Years by fanfictionaries*

The Two Dropouts by tryingsss*

*Denotes a partial canon rewrite (aka ends early or starts later) - - - - Geormione: There were several great Geormione pieces I wanted to recommend but both of my recs relate to navigating Fred's death in very personal ways. That has tended to be the majority of what I've been reading in the Geormione space though there are other dimensions to this ship worth checking out. Like Fremione, there are some great canon-rewrites as well.

I have not started tackling the behemoth that is The Arithmancer by White_Squirrel yet or the rest of the series, though it's queued up as a reward once I finish some very longfics I'm working through... so I know I've read a lower % of the total completed fics on AO3 in the "Hermione Granger/George Weasley" relationship tag than Billmione, Charmione, and Fremione.

To Those Who Wait by Fictionallizzy

Word Count: 56,233 / 9 Chapters

Summary: After Fred's death, Hermione and George spend a forbidden night together which leads to much more than they both expected.

My Comments: In my ridiculous spreadsheet, I give a rating for my personal love of the story and another for the spice level. This is one that has 5/5 on both counts, the smut smuts 💋 and there's some juicy angst in there (my fave.)

In Case You Don't Life Forever by xLoveMx

Word Count: 24,724 / 12 Chapters

Summary: After the battle, Hermione and George are together and apart in their grief. She tries to prepare WWW to reopen and they finds she has to deal with Fred's ghost literally and metaphorically.

My Comments: I've read a few ghost!fred fics but I really loved this one. It was hard to select just one George-Falling-In-Love-While-Grieving fic and the extra dimension Fred's ghost added to this story made it stand out for a recommendation.

- - - - Multi-Weasley Pairings: In fics with multi-Weasley ships, they tend to fall into three buckets: 1) Siblings in competition 2) Love triangle or triad (v-shaped or triangle-shaped) 3) Reverse harems or multiple hookup partners I basically had to read through the majority of all the enticing completed long fics with ALL of the individual siblings I wanted to read paired with Hermione before I started reading multi-Weasley fics. BUT I'm glad I went there because there are some really interesting works that I enjoyed. Here's a fic rec for each bucket: 1) Siblings in Competition: Yours Til The Stars Fall From The Sky by Ronsboggart

Pairings: Fremione, Charmione

Word Count: 64,178 / 7 Chapters

Summary: Hermione and Fred are going to be together until a chance meeting at the World Quidditch Cups finds her and Charlie inexplicably drawn to each other.

My Comments: Mind the tags! This fic definitely has the underage warning on it, which I totally understand isn't everyone's thing. That said, the story of Fred and Hermione falling for each other despite the magnet-pull of Charlie really got me on board with reading Fremione works. Truthfully, I sort of didn't "get" the appeal of Fred until I read this story and for that I'm so grateful. I ended up loving the characterization of Fred and Hermione's love so much in this fic, it's definitely worth it imo.

Honorable Mention: Hot Girl Summer (shorter one-shot) by Anonymous 2) Love Triangle / Triad (V-Shaped): Hic Scunt Dracones by Amebb42 & ShadowAlt

Pairings: Billmione, Charmione

Word Count: 118,498 / 29 Chapters

Summary: On a curse-breaking expedition in a tropical paradise, Charlie, Bill, and Hermione find themselves working a case that puts them face to face with old magic. Both brothers find they care for the same woman and try to encourage her to choose between them.

My Comments: If you read my Ranking the Weasleys post, you know that I don't give a toss about dragons half the time and I REALLY loved the dragon storyline here. I sing the praises of Amebb42 in just a bit but ShadowAlt also has great stories. I enjoyed reading their author's notes in this too.

3) Reverse Harem: Where the Heart Is by Mother_of_Chaos

Pairings: Billmione, Charmione, Fremione, Geormione

Word Count: 40827 / 12 Chapters

Summary: Hermione, who has special abilities and works as an Unspeakable, receives a claiming werewolf bite while helping save a member of the Weasley family and becomes part of their pack.

My Comments: This work was recently completed this past August and was inspired by The Weasley Pack by Mrsmarauders02. Both are worth reading and center around werewolf and pack power. Mind the tags!

Reverse Harem Honorable Mention: Weasley Magic by Amebb42 I included only completed fics here but I have to shoutout the WIP that lives in head rent-free on a regular basis and that's Weasley Magic by Amebb42. This author has so many great works worth reading but this fic completely sold me on the Weasley reverse harem structure and inspired me to give other works a try. Plus, it's not based on a werewolf pack. Yes, the smut is smutty which is great fun, however, all of the characters are so well developed in this massive ensemble work. The Molly bashing-to-redemption is one of my favorite kinds of family angst and there are more relationships beyond Hermione + all of the Weasley siblings that adds delicious complexity to the story. Most importantly, the world mechanics, especially when it come to the Wizengamot, the inherited Weasley family magic itself, and Bill's new status is so, so interesting! I live for this fic . - - - - As For All The Other Hermione x Weasley Family Member Ships: You'll note from my post "Nobody Asked For This: My Rankings of the Hermione x Weasley Ships With REASONS" I don't consider myself well-read in ships with Hermione/Ginny or Hermione/Ron or some of the other family members, so no recommendations at this time. If you have recs, please share! I'd love to know what I'm missing out on or what your fave works are for different pairings.

Don't forget to check out the newest fic, Ranking the Weasleys on AO3!

[hillbilly---man]

A list of my works on AO3

(they're all Saiki K fics at the moment but I'll add fandom categories to this post if I ever get a new interest lol)

It doesn't fit my plans; it's something I don't understand

Published July 11, 2021

Summary: Saiki is fascinated by Satou Hiroshi, and the people around him start to see that this might be more than just a platonic curiosity.

What is this feeling called love?

[Notes: Bittersweet ending. Nobody gets together. My insistence on theming these early fics after songs is pretty embarrassing now. I'm not proud of my writing here but the story is ok. I might rewrite it someday. Not bad for my first fic since like 2003 though]

Something Changed

Published August 11, 2021

Summary: Aiura wrote a letter to her soulmate the night before they were supposed to meet.

She's predicted a lot of things... how could she have gotten this one wrong?

[Notes: Another sad ending. The format of this is almost entirely an excited letter about the future Aiura imagined that would never come to pass. Not really much of a story happening here tbh]

Won't it be strange when we're all fully grown?

Published August 28, 2021 (INCOMPLETE)

Summary: With graduation quickly approaching, the psychics of PK Academy (and Akechi) worry that they'll drift apart. Luckily, they come up with an idea.

"Let's all meet up in the year 2030!"

A lot can change in a decade.

[Notes: Kind of like a psychicker class reunion where they're all adults with jobs and everything catching up. Future chapters were going to have almost a Scooby Doo vibe (with a twist reveal at the end about Aiura's husband!) I abandoned it because I posted some art and someone called my art creepy and it made the whole fic feel bad to think about. Maybe I'll get back to it someday. It's cool to see how quickly my writing improved. I was also super proud of how well I wrote Akechi's dialogue here]

Hotel Valentine

Published September 24, 2021

Summary: Toritsuka Reita is a pretty lucky guy. He somehow managed to not get expelled from PK Academy, he graduated, and he's avoided creeping on any living girls for a few months. To celebrate, the PK Psychics paid for a one-night stay in the fanciest hotel in Tokyo so Reita can creep on the ghost girl of his dreams. Pretty lucky, right?

Too bad things aren't going his way. He's being ignored by the staff, he's bored out of his mind, and he can't find the ghost girl anywhere. Some vacation, huh?

[Notes: Spoiler: Toritsuka's a ghost stuck in a nice hotel. This is based on a concept album that most of you have never heard but hear me out! It really has nothing to do with the Cibo Matto album of the same title except that the chapters are named after the songs and there are fun Easter eggs for fans of the album. Another slightly sad ending but not too bad]

Coffee & TV

Published August 27th, 2022

Summary: The new silence in her house felt heavy on Kumi's shoulders. Everything reminded her of Kumagoro... especially her grandson Kusuo, who has been coming to visit more often than ever before.

[Notes: this is my least popular finished fic and I understand why. It's about grief and the loss of a grandparent. It's about the unique pain that a psychic would have after failing to prevent that death. There's a sad twist that TBH I think I was a little too subtle with. One of my favorites]

Friendly Fire

Published January 8, 2023

Summary: Being an adult is great until the Problems start. Good grief.

30-year-old Kusuo's psychic powers have been pretty well controlled for over a decade. Why are things starting to go haywire all of a sudden?

[Notes: Friendly Fire my fucking beloved!! In this fic, Saiki gets essentially psychic multiple sclerosis and has to deal with some complicated emotions. I don't think it's a masterpiece or anything but it was cathartic to write and I'm in love with the versions of these characters that I wrote here. So much so that I'm writing a sequel just so I can write more of them. Also, FINALLY a happy ending!!]

Ramen Ikouze?

Published April 28, 2023

Summary: After being dragged to get ramen with Nendou every week, Kusuo starts to realize that it's not so bad after all.

[Notes: I love Nendou, he's so good. This fic is very cute and about their friendship. A couple of fun twists]

Saiki has Plans?

Published May 2, 2023

Summary: Saiki mentions having plans after school, and the overactive imaginations at PK Academy work themselves into a fuss trying to imagine what he could be doing.

[Notes: This fic follows around a bunch of Saiki's classmates as they gossip and snoop to find out what he's up to. It's my most popular fic for some reason]

A Bright Flash

Published May 13, 2023

Summary: Saiki develops an annoying new ability, and through some comedy series logic is forced to tell Teruhashi about it. She tries to be a good ally to her "newly psychic" crush.

[Notes: Teruhashi accidentally finds out about Saiki's new power and he's like "fine. I'm a psychic. But it's just this one power and nothing else."]

Heat Wave

Published June 6, 2023

Summary: There's a historic heat wave in Hidariwakibara, and some of our favorite PK Academy students end up running into each other while taking refuge from the hot weather.

A series of four standalone (but connected) stories taking place at the same time:

Aiura has a vision of disaster, and she and Nendou try to stop it

Yumehara gives Toritsuka some advice to improve his game

Akechi meets Teruhashi's brother

Saiki really wants some shaved ice from the kakigori stand where Mera is working

[Notes: The summary explains it well but also I weaved so many connections between the chapters (that are all happening at roughly the same time). It was also a lot of fun writing interactions between characters that didn't get much in canon. Also you can tell it was hot as hell when I wrote it because I definitely gave Saiki some kind of psychic heat intolerance lol]

Immunity

Published July 6, 2023

Summary: She didn't know why, but Kokomi was finally able to see the truth.

Why Saiki seemed to appear and disappear without explanation. Why it seemed like he always knew what she was planning. Why he wore those weird hairpins.

It was all so obvious now.

Saiki had psychic powers.

[Notes: The veil is lifted suddenly and all the truths that Saiki kept locked behind his mind control were revealed to Teruhashi. He and Aiura have a chat with her about it. Also this was the first fic of mine that an IRL friend read (to my knowledge) and his comment was something like "I don't know anything about your boy but he sounds autistic and gnc" and I took that as a fucking compliment! You know you've written Saiki right when people can see that shit from space]

The Disastrous Financial Situation of Saiki K

Published August 9, 2023 (IN PROGRESS)

Summary: Adjusting to his new limitations has been annoying, and now Kusuo (age 31) needs a car to get around.

Unfortunately, taking time off work has drained his savings.

How is he going to get the money for a car now?

[Notes: This is my sequel to Friendly Fire but it's a lot lighter in nature. 100-Yen-Man goes around doing stuff for Saiki's friends. There are mentions of his disability from Friendly Fire and it's plot relevant but I think you can catch on even if you didn't read the original. I haven't updated in a while but I am actively working on it!! A Yumehara and Makino chapter next and then a Toritsuka chapter after that. TBH this isn't my best work and it's pretty unpopular but I'm having fun and that's all that counts)

[yobotica]

Fandom Homework

Idea by @razielim, I like the idea of sitting down and talking about the stuff I want to be working on! Mostly pretty rambly here, so I'll put it all beneath a cut:

It's all gonna be about the WIPs, baby! I think the thing that comes to mind most on 'boy I wish I could finish this' is actually the fallout AU I have for Assassin's Creed. ShaunDes, of course, but I think the ultimate plan was to try for OT3 with Clay on this one. I've never done it, but I get a lot of comments for that on my other fics and I think it would be interesting in this setting if I can make it work. I think the current plan for this one is more a sort of main 'how the group got together' vibe (all the moderns) and then snippets/side stories for some of their adventures. I do have an overall plot involving everyone figuring out who they are, secrets coming to light, etc. I just gotta get it all written is all.

Second is obviously to finish my in progress titanfall fic, which I usually just refer to as Weary, lol. While I've never once really felt pressured that updates are few and far between by comments on AO3, I sometimes regret posting it before it was finished. I never post WIPs as they're worked on because I am the slowest writer - once I get going, I can write pretty fast, it's just the getting started that trips me up. That, and i end up writing a lot of stuff that it turns out, it's not time for, or it's just not right for the story. I think I'm at like, over 15k words discarded for this fic overall, some of which has been repurposed/used already (just later than when it was originally written), but most of which has not. (Yet; I know at least two bits are just too early).

Third is a fic that is almost 10 years old and unfinished. It's only been posted up to chapter 10 on the assassin's creed kinkmeme, the last chapter of which was posted in 2016. It's almost complete, actually, sitting at just under 55.5k words, but I can't quite pin down the ending. Then it needs to be edited. Insert sad-cowboy emoji.

I'd really like to revisit my old DS9 stuff. I never published any of it on AO3 - in fact, I can't even remember if I've published any of it anywhere. It's some of the earliest stuff I've written, and it's pretty rough by my standards, but it's still something I'd like to get some time into and whip up into something readable at some point.

I want to learn how to draw transformers! I've wanted to for a while, but I recently watched Transformers One and it was gorgeous. There's a lot of different styles for the whole franchise, but I like that one a lot. That and Transformers Prime, which I haven't seen yet, lol. I'm a pretty recent fan, to be honest, but me and a friend have spent a lot of time making transformers OCs that I'd love to be able to draw just for fun. (It's the only reason I play Forza Horizon 5 at all, is to make the car forms for those that can be made in that game.)

I'd love to get works written for a few fandoms I've been into for a while, but never written for. Stuff like Dishonored, Legacy of Kain/Soul Reaver, Inception or even Dragon Age. Mostly based on vibes rather than concrete ideas (except for dishonored, which I have exactly one (1) idea that could be used for fic), but still. It's something I'd like to do.

Oh! I need to finish and edit the FFXV fic I have in progress! It could be considered complete enough, to be honest, but it feels incomplete to me for some reason. I wrote up to a certain point, then lost all steam. It's set post Episode Ignis alternate ending, a really, really cute and sweet fic.

I think one thing I'd like to do is maybe just post a collection on AO3 of my WIPs. I don't think of anything I've written as abandoned, even if it's been years since I looked at them, but I also do think some of it was pretty good! I don't know how readers feel about this, though.

I'd like to get more Deus Ex fic written, too. I had a few things perk my interested for kinktober but October was mostly a really shit month for me, so I got no writing done at all. I definitely don't mind using those prompts late or anything, but I still haven't got any creative juice for writing right now, so they're just sitting there, waiting for their time.

I've also had a few ideas that I think I might never write but maybe folks might be interested in hearing about or adopting themselves? Like prompts, maybe. Adoptable fic ideas. Mostly it's stuff I'd love to read but not research to write myself, but that feels a little selfish, lol. But I also just think they're fun to talk about and gush over even if they never actually get written.

I think this was nice to sit down and write out. I don't post very much about myself or my work, but I've enjoyed seeing people talk about things they'd like to get done or things they have in progress and thought I'd share. I'm wishing you all well and hoping you all have something creative you'd like to look forward to doing as well! <3

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

11, 20, and 30 for the ask game! Especially 11, I’m always desperate for recs

11. Favourite fics right now?

Hmmmm! I tend to write more fic than I read (so apologies if you've seen me rec these before...), but some of my bg3 standouts this year are:

december bloom by callmepoison is just a really hot (and in-character) modern AU oneshot where Karlach is a piercer and gives Gale a handjob before his Prince Albert. Oh, but it is SO good. Captures Gale's charming-but-self-doubting nature perfectly, and all of Karlach's warmth.

A One Night Stand at the Blushing Mermaid by @graysparrowao3. (And their whole Rugan/Aradin series!). I love the visceral grubbiness of these fics, and the excellent banter. Rugan and Aradin stay their hard-edged, jaded and sometimes-to-often-unpleasant selves, and there's nothing I love more than watching people get in their own way.

It was evening, and no longer summer by elo_elo. My favourite fic author. Her style is a little woozy to me; like a shared, receding hangover. Evocative. This is a modern AU about Tav (actually the former Dark Urge) feeling her past bubble up again in the wake of a car crash. I ADORE Lae'zel's depiction in this fic, it's just wonderful. (I adore Lae'zel full stop, and this fic really shows off her bluntness and fierce loyalty.)

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Answered here. I feel like I talk about some of my favourite themes a lot. Too much, perhaps. (One is finding identity beyond one particular skill, and the precarious self-esteem that rests on being really good at one thing and then being terrified when you see the cracks in it. The second is exploring kink and characters freeing themselves from shame around it. And obviously just heaps of subby men in love with dominant women. Mostly Rolan, but also Ludovico... and now as I think of it, also Zagreus with Megaera, though I didn't write that explicitly!)

I guess I also love a good "fuck fate/destiny" storyline. Ethel taunts Rolan that Catrin will be miserable, but she's twisting her visions of the future to mess with him. Guillermo might be a vampire slayer, but that doesn't mean he has to kill Nandor. Zagreus might not be able to spend long on the surface, but he'll fight to enjoy every single second and he won't stop trying. Hmmm! I hadn't noticed that til now. (Although... Rolan IS Phaere's fated one in In Service of Magic lol. I guess I'll overlook it if I'm horny enough lmao. Fate for thee and not for me!)

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

I like sharing bits of WIPs, but it also results in a burst of editing, because the threat of being public immediately reveals all the holes in my writing. (Occasionally, I've shared bits that just fully got cut out of the chapter when it was actually published...)

I don't share entire rough drafts, though. I always edit before posting, especially for my AO3 stories. (Tumblr ficlets get a lighter touch). Once I'm finished the first draft (which for me involves a lot of editing as I go), I'll typically do one big and very in-depth edit, and sometimes another read through. From time to time, I go back and do line-level tweaks in previous chapters of a WIP.

I think my fics would be more polished and cohesive overall if I finished the entire thing before posting, but ehhhh. One day I'll do that for an actual novel!

[vermillioncourt-if]

FAQ

(will be updated as time goes on)

What is this being written on?

ChoiceScript. I would try Twine, but my other game has a nice steady base on ChoiceScript, and I'd rather not move it over.

Can I make fanfic/art/etc? Can I show you my MC/fanfic/art/etc?

Yes! Please do! I welcome it wholeheartedly!

Do you have a patreon or ko-fi?

No, not as of right now. This will change later.

Is the rating 18+?

Yes. I'd say I believe the minimum age would be 17+, due to sexual content that can be fade to black.

Note: All sex scenes will be fade to black on the public demo. A private demo will be available for patreon or ko-fi donators when we get there which will include the explicit scene option (think ao3) and the "lite" version (think published smut).

How is the story formatted?

It will play out similarly to a dating sim/otome game. There will be 1-2 common starting chapters and then it will branch out into 6 routes for the ROs. All routes will have the same 6 key plot events, but will be different in how they're approached.

How many endings are there?

At least 6?

The endings will scale off of how many main events you succeeded in and the selected RO's relationship towards you. That means if you have a high relationship with your RO but have done poorly with the main events, you can still achieve a good ending.

Are there any poly routes?

Not as of right now. The coding for poly relationships is a bit too complicated for me to do right now. This may change as I get more comfortable with it.

Does MC have to romance someone?

Yes, that's the point of the whole game/story.

What are the characters ethnicities? Are they Chinese?

The world of Nian is heavily inspired by China and the Tang Dynasty, so the characters would be Chinese, but I don't assign real ethnicities onto them.

This isn't historically accurate!

I know. That's why I said it's inspired by China, fantasy period C-Dramas, fantasy period pieces, and romance manhwa/manhua.

How does magic work in this world?

As of right now, I don't have a lore post about magic, so here's a quick breakdown.

Everyone can use magic. Some people have Magic Aptitude, which means they have more ability than most people. Magic is classified into Elemental Type and Class.

Will XYZ be in the story?

Maybe. This is a WIP so it's possible.

How are WLW/MLM/Queer relationships viewed/treated in the story?

They're fine. No one is homophobic.

How are women viewed/treated in the story?

Everything is mostly viewed about the same, as in it's pretty much equal for a majority of people. But a few things have lingered on from tradition (i.e boys inherit over girls, etc).

Help! I can't pronounce the names!

I provide helpful pronunciations for the characters' names on the Side Characters page. There will also be pronunciations listed in the stat page of the game.

How are the names written?

All names are written in the LastName FirstName format.

If I write something like "Consort Huo", it's the equivalent of "Mr Smith". For those who understand, the last names are monosyllabic while the first names are disyllabic.

Does MC have a set name?

MC has a set last name (Nan), but not a first name. You can name your MC whatever you'd like.

I encourage using a disyllabic name, for immersion and the fact that it would be the most "accurate". I provide 3 examples of disyllabic names in the game, but you can ultimately name your MC whatever you want!

Can you help me pick a name?

I certainly can! Just send me a private message (not an ask) with the name of your MC, and I'll find a name similar in meaning or pronunciation. Please be sure to tell me which you want, similar meaning or similar pronunciation.

Does MC have a set personality?

A bit, although it's more traits, as of right now. They will never want the throne, they are a good sibling to their siblings, they enjoy social events, and they are well-educated and a little bit naive from their position.

Does MC have a set appearance?

No. MC's appearance is up to you.

Can MC be trans?

I'm planning on it. There won't be any references made to a transition, though, and it won't affect anything besides the sex scenes. You'll have an option at the first sex scene to set what your MC has.

Will MC become the ruler? Can MC overthrow their father/brother? Can MC hurt *insert person here*?

No. Male MC is 4th in the line of succession and Female MC is 14th in the line of succession. MC loves their family and would do nothing to hurt them. MC will not perpetrate any kind of excessive violence against anyone.

Does MC have magic? Can MC do magic?

As mentioned before, everyone has magic. MC does not have Magic Aptitude, however, so their magic is on a normal level.

[ctrsara]

Things I've Been Reading

Some of these are newer, some are older and I just barely read them. This is not EVERYTHING I've been reading and liking, obviously, but just a quick share!

(Also, if you know these authors are on Tumblr, but they're not tagged, please let me know, or let them know or something, so I can be friends with them and tag them!) (RECS below cut)

Iron Dad: Coming Home by JAWorley:

This is one I didn't try a few times because I didn't think I was interested in Peter hanging out with Toomes. However, I'm so glad I finally tried it, because it was fantastic, and a really different take on the whole Homecoming era. Published:2023-01-02Completed:2023-02-26Words:114889

Shake My Hand (And I'll Forgive You): by Frogdottir: @frogdottirwrites

Post NWH, Peter has been doing work for the Bugle, trying to stay afloat, and suddenly discovers Tony is alive. However, it seems like even before everyone had forgotten him, everyone close to Tony had been aware of it except him. He is hurt and angry and freaks out just a little bit. Incomplete, but 13 chapters so far, and so good! Published:2022-12-20Updated:2023-03-03Words:40572

Atlas Held by Grumperella: @grumperella

After an explosion brings down a building on top of them, Peter is the only thing between Tony, Natasha and certain death. Trapped under rubble together, well... nothing builds bonds like shared trauma. This one was super angsty, but so, so, good! Published:2023-01-07Completed:2023-01-08Words:8401

Distracted By a Dime by happyaspie: @yes-i-am-happyaspie

This is an older story, but I just barely read it, and she's been adding to the series lately. :) Peter Parker thinks he has everything figured out. Where he can eat, sleep and make a little bit of money. What he needs to do in order to continue attending Midtown and being Spider-Man. The Stark-Rogers family throws a wrench in his plans.

Tis the Damn Season (for a Christmas Miracle) by peacockgirl

Yes, peacockgirl really did write an AU of her own story (Long Story Short (It Was a Bad Time) Or AIs Don't Forget,) which is one of my favorites, and it's amazing, too. Highly recommend! Morgan just wants her big brother to come home for Christmas. Tony just wants to figure out why being around his daughter is sending him into a tailspin. And Peter just wants to survive his first Christmas alone without freezing to death in a graveyard. Luckily Morgan Stark is very, very stubborn. And immune to Strange's spell. Published:2023-01-31Completed:2023-02-27Words:23468

Oxygen and Gravity by for_the_night: @imyoursavinggrace (also, btw, people who have different tumblr names and ao3 names make me think I'm going senile. I have the hardest time remembering who is who sometimes!😂 )

A really cool Irondad soulmates AU (Sentinels and Guides) that I just re-read and loved again. It's not complete, but close. n a world where Senintels and Guides are dying out, Guide Tony Stark was very happy just living life without the responsibility of some Sentinel, but when one touch awakens a soul bond with a scrawny vigilante from Queens, Tony’s life changes forever. Published:2021-11-15Updated:2022-06-24Words:28459

A Big Security Issue by FotiBrit: @fotibrit

Short, cute, and amazing! When Peter lost his Stark Industries Staff ID, Tony handed the kid his own. That was never an issue, until Peter had to check in at the front desk. Published:2023-02-01Words:1828

Make it a Good One! by zippe

This one was kind of a unique fix-it/time travel that I found looking through the @irondad-creator-awards categories, so here's another plug for those! Tony and his mess of a fairy god spider who can’t seem to keep himself moving correctly along the timeline. Published:2022-05-08Completed:2022-07-08Words:31435

Where the Love Is by SpaceCowboysFromMars: @spacecowboysfrommars

This one was super different and interesting, and I kinda wish it could have continued. I've never seen the movie, so it was a new story for me. The Way Way Back AU where Peter is reluctantly dragged by May and her new asshole boyfriend, Quentin, to spend the summer in Cape Cod. Summer gets a whole lot more interesting when Peter makes friends with the eccentric manager of Water Wizz, who seems to take a liking to Peter in all his teenage-awkwardness glory. Published:2023-01-12Words:12948

In a Different Light by kingdomfaraway: @asyouleft

An amazing short one! Peter is taken, and Tony finally uses the phone Steve sent him. He needs help, even if it means making night with his former friends and teammates.

And a bonus:

home (is where my heart found exactly where I'm supposed to be) by ironfidus @ironfidus

Another one I found looking through the Irondad Creator Awards categories. So, so sweet and hit all the irondad feels I wanted on that particular day! Six thousand miles away from the city that never sleeps, across continents and on the other side of the North Pacific Ocean, Tony relearns the meaning of home—as redefined in his eyes by a stubborn teenager with a penchant for recklessness.

[toointojoelmiller]

look for the light: a last of us fic

chapter 3

ch 3 was published to ao3 a while ago but not posted here cause I'm dumb so I'm posting it now because i just finished ch 4 and am posting it too - sorry 😣

Jackson loses power, Joel can't find Ellie, and panic ensues (for @bearrycool) cross posted to ao3 here ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4

------ E.

“I have a lot to do today,” Ellie lied as she headed off on her own. 

Riley told her she was shit at lying, but she’d been honing her talent for it - whenever someone asked about her past (Boston, Joel, all those months they’d only had each other) or caught a glimpse of her shiny and  half-melted arm, the bullshit slipped out a little smoother, even if it kept tasting sour in her mouth. 

She even lied to Joel once in a while now, too, because when she said, “I slept fine,” in the mornings, his body sagged like he’d been carrying a weight he could finally set down, and when she’d told him, “School was fun,” he’d beamed at her, and she'd seen him smiling like an idiot to himself all night when he didn’t know she was looking. 

Sometimes she lied to him just because he lied to her, too. 

Living in Jackson meant suddenly having a lot of things that Ellie never thought she would - all she had to do was get rid of the broken parts of her and pretend they never existed in the first place. A year later, she still hadn’t pulled it off - it felt instead like she was dragging them around behind her like a dead dog on a leash, people and promises and purpose all ruined and rotting. 

When the day before the patrol group’s departure came and Joel still wouldn’t budge, she couldn’t choke down the breakfast he always made her eat. Joel had fixed his worried eyes on her, his brow lowering as he sat across from her at the stupid tiny table by the window - acid eating at her stomach, leaving her insides made up of jagged edges that hurt every time she swallowed. 

Even though they didn't really blur into each other's space the same way that they once had, she spent that whole last day at his side, squished into him on the bench in the dining hall and on the couch that night, trying to memorize the feeling of him right beside her, solid and warm. The feeling of not being able to catch her breath came and went in waves as she turned over the thought of actually being somewhere without him, and the thought of Joel out *there* without *her* - as she thought about wooden shards in his gut, blood warm enough to melt the snow away from under him where it spilled, and who would be there to sew him back together this time? 

She had woken up early to walk to the stables with him, planning to make him happy and send him off with a relaxed "*I'll be fine, dude*," or maybe even a chipper “*I’m looking forward to staying at Tommy’s,*”, but her voice was shaking too much to sell either line so she didn’t even try. And the new, shittier, not-the-cure version of Ellie was a fucking baby, on top of being a liar, so he’d noticed her eyes watering and hugged her goodbye, talking all soft against her hair like he always did when she was about to lose it.

He probably would have left feeling better if she had just stayed in bed. 

Tommy waved his hand at her in goodbye as she left the table, and Maria nodded at her lie, face straight and eyes sharp like they always were. She said, “See you later,”, which was pretty much just rubbing Ellie's nose in it. She could hear Charlie crying as she left, and she sort of hoped she’d keep it up for a while, and then felt like a brat for it.

The truth was that she had no plans at all - her and Joel never made plans on Sundays because it was always their day to spend together. Even if neither one of them ever acknowledged it out loud, it was consistent enough that Jesse and Dina knew not to bother asking her to hang out, and he always had a new movie picked out for after dinner, waiting by the TV in the - his - living room for them.

It was early enough that the grass was soaked with glittering dew. Not many people were out, and Ellie avoided eye contact with the ones who were, not wanting to have the same conversation five times before she got home. Still, she wasn’t mad enough to act like a total bitch, so she stopped and turned when she heard her name called out. 

“Ellie, honey! You see the patrol off this morning?”

Ellie cringed, scanning around until she saw a familiar face looking out at her from an open window of a two storey house with a sprawling garden.  

Joel once said that Heather could ‘talk the hide off a cow’. She was nice, but the baby nicknames fucking blew, so Ellie tried to avoid her whenever she could. Something about the way her accent resembled Tommy and Joel's, but was just a little bit off, made Ellie's skin prickle. 

“Yep. Going back to bed though. See you.” She forced out the words, trying to sound polite and less annoyed than she felt.  

“Good thinkin'!” Heather said, raising her voice as Ellie hurried away. “You let us know if you need anything at all. Joel’ll be back before you know it, sweetheart!” 

Ellie gritted her teeth and kept her head down, resolving to take another route back home the rest of the week. 

Joel was different here, mostly because he wasn't just hers anymore. Now he was neighbor Joel, and patroller Joel, and fix-all-the-shit-in-your-house Joel - a brother and an uncle - each with different ways to pull him away from her.

At first it had felt like they'd landed on a different planet together, surrounded by alien people - not like them - who planted flowers and decorated for holidays and didn’t know the world was over. But Joel fit into it fast, in a way she just didn’t, and couldn't, and it left her adrift on her own.   

As she walked, she wondered where he was - surreal, not to know. The longest they’d ever been apart was when his patrol group got stuck in a storm and had to shelter overnight until it passed. He’d squeezed her so tight when he got back at dawn the next morning that he had to feel her shaking - why would he ever think she could handle a whole week?

But she knew why. It was the way Joel lied straight to her face, but still knocked on her door at night to check on her when she cried. There had been a loop of repeating nightmares for a long time, but they'd gotten more frequent since she woke up in a weird blue dress to a world where everything since leaving the QZ had been *pointless*, and Joel had almost died for nothing, and so many other good people did. It all made something in her stomach twist so tightly she ran - moved out to the fucking garage, telling him again and again that she liked her own space when really she just didn't know how to be around him all of the time.  

She got lost in her head as she walked, scolding herself to grow the fuck up - Joel left because it was important, and because he was protecting his brother - it was just Joel being Joel, so what the hell did she expect? - and suddenly her foot was stepping down onto a bundle of purple flowers, crushing the petals flat under her the sole of her sneaker. 

“Shit,” she groaned, jerking back and realizing with a sinking feeling where she was. 

She didn’t know Jason, but a lot of people did, and even though it had been almost three months since he’d bled out at the dam people were still leaving little gifts around his place. Bundles of flowers wrapped with ribbon and nestled against his mailbox spilled out onto the road. Letters that would never be read, slid in between his screen door and the front door of his now empty house.

Joel had said it was nice, voice all gravelly as he got choked up - “S’the way it’s supposed to be, when someone dies - ‘sposed to remember ‘em like this,” - but every time she saw it, all she could think about was everyone who didn’t get any fucking flowers at all. Riley, probably now just a pile of bones on the floor of that mall, for all she knew, unless the Fireflies had burned her to ash - Tess, blown up and gone without a trace of her - and Henry, and Sam, buried in dirt with nothing to mark the spot. 

She figured the grass must have grown over them both by now, and she wondered if she would even be able to find their graves if she ever went back. 

She picked up the flowers she had ruined, and rested them back on Jason's mailbox, hoping no one had seen her ruin them as she rushed back to her place.

Her sneakers and socks got damp as she walked through the grass of Joel's yard. She kicked them off with her feet as she closed the door to the garage and locked it behind her.

Alone. She huffed out a breath as she stood barefoot, looking around the room and trying to decide what to do. 

She should just go back to bed - this time on any other Sunday morning and she would still be dead asleep, so what difference should Joel not being there make right now? But knowing that his house was dark and not smelling like coffee because he was getting farther away from her with every minute made her lungs feel tight. 

Part of her wanted to stay inside for the day and sulk at how shitty it was, but for all she knew Maria and Tommy would come by to check on her, so she tossed on a fresh pair of socks and the boots Tommy had been all excited to give her a few months back. 

No one was around when she got to the stables. She wondered if that was just normal for Sunday mornings as she put herself to work, rinsing out the water buckets from the stalls and refilling them - she certainly wouldn’t want to have to drink out of a slimy and spit covered cup. 

Shimmer stood sleeping in her stall, facing the corner. Ellie let herself in and latched the door shut behind her, wrapping her arms around Shimmer's warm, broad neck and hanging onto her for a few minutes. Sometimes it was the only thing that would make the pinchy feeling in her chest calm the fuck down.

One of the grumpy white geese that wandered through the stables was in her way when she went to leave, all too happy to land a sharp pinching bite if you got careless. She moved cautiously, keeping far away from it and muttering “Chill out, dickhead,” as it hissed at her, opening it’s beak and raising it’s wings up menacingly.

She made her way to the musty little back corner where the tack was stored, always smelling like leather and sweat. Like Joel. 

The people who helped at the stables communicated through a few chalk boards posted on the wall, and Ellie ran her eyes down the shift schedule column, looking for the names of who would be in through the day. She was relieved, and then felt guilty about it, when she saw that Tommy’s name wasn’t listed. 

But it made her smile, for the first time for days, when she easily recognized Dina’s handwriting where a small “D+E!” had been scribbled in on for the afternoon of Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. She picked up the chalk and doodled a little person wearing a cowboy hat and boots, artfully adding stink lines and flies while she giggled, and labelled it ‘Tommy’.

She turned towards the dirt covered desk that was jammed in the corner, just the look of it making her feel claustrophobic - buckets and a filthy plastic step stool crammed underneath, saddle pads and ropes and gloves and so much more crap strewn all across it. 

The log book that they used to track things - like repairs that needed to be done and how much feed they had left - was sitting open. She flipped through the pages mindlessly, recognizing Tommy’s chicken scratch in a few spots, and stopped on a page where they were logging when each horse was last re-shoed. 

Her eyes ran down the list and caught on Flint’s name, and she thought about Joel again, irritated to feel her eyes burn with tears. 

She sat down at the desk and picked up the pen, tearing out a piece of paper from the back of the book. She started to sketch out the rough shape of a horses head, deciding to make a little doodle of Flint from memory to distract herself. Closing her eyes, she tried to recall what the broad shape of his profile looked like, and that way his face curved out from the side - Tommy told her one time that it was sometimes called a “Roman nose”  - not unlike Joel’s, she thought to herself with a snort, before the ache of missing him kicked in even harder. 

By the time she was done, she’d drawn a completely different horse. The stables came to life before long as people started to roll in for their shifts, asking out loud who had been in so early and complaining about the goose who was guarding the buckets of soaking hay. She shoved the drawing down into her pocket before going to help with the morning feeds. She'd pass the day working - better than being idle, and maybe she could make herself tired enough to actually sleep at night. 

When she got back to her place later it was almost time to go have dinner with Tommy and Maria and Charlie, like she'd somehow been talked into agreeing to for every day this the week. She pinned the drawing up on the corkboard Joel had made and installed above her bed, and looked at it as she took a deep breath in and out. 

She packed up a few things to bring with her for the night. On her way out the door she paused, turning back around to grab a pencil from her desk, and hastily adding Callus's name next to the drawing. 

No flowers for him, either. 

------ T.

As he expected, Maria didn’t skim over the note the way Tommy had. He stretched an arm out against the back of the couch and sat back, waiting for her to finish reading every last word that Joel had put down. Charlie was tugging on the ends of her hair as she read, and he watched Maria patiently untangle those little chubby fingers again and again, her eyebrows drawing closer together the further she got into the note - full on frowning by the time she finished. 

“So she’s still struggling, then. Worse than he’s been letting on,” she said finally, looking at Tommy and setting the papers next to her on the ground.

Her voice wasn’t necessarily accusatory. Just blunt. Matter of fact, the way that she always was, and the way he liked her - but they’d talked and argued about it so many times over the past year that Tommy picked up on what she was saying easily. Ellie needs more help than Joel can give her.

Tommy shrugged. “Not necessarily. You know how he can get. Probably was just workin’ himself up, thinkin’ of what ifs -”

Maria shook her head and picked up the note again, flipping the pages over and scanning them until she found a particular spot. 

“This all reads like a ‘when’, not an 'if' ". She starts reading from the page, raising her eyebrows as she does. “She hates when she yells in her sleep so try not to overreact even though it can sound real bad. If you go barging in on her it makes it worse… check my living room couch first if you can’t find her overnight, she’s always antsy when she has nightmares and sometimes she winds up there by the morning…”

She looked up at him, her eyes stormy. “I didn’t know she was still having problems with eating, either.” She put aside the letter again and stretched out on the ground next to Charlie, who had finally abandoned her hair and was now playing with (drooling on) a set of wooden rings Joel had made. Maria curled her body around her slightly, brushing a hand through Charlie's curly hair as if she suddenly needed to be closer to her. 

Tommy felt it too - the parental alarm bell ringing inside, gnawing at the thought of an under fed kid. 

“I didn’t either,” Tommy said, looking down at his lap for a moment. “Eats like a horse every time we see her.”

“So we’ve just been seeing her on the good days,” Maria said, twisting her mouth to the side and shaking her head. “I’m not saying that Joel isn’t doing the best he can. I’m not doubting that he cares about her. But it might help if he was more open to the idea that Ellie could benefit from extra support.”

It was the bone she couldn’t put down, ever since the day Ellie melted half her arm off. Tommy sighed, repeating the same thing he’d been telling her all year.

“Ellie’s the one who said no. Joel can’t make her - he woulda by now, especially if all this..." he gestured to the note.

“I’m not convinced he ever asked her about it,” Maria said, looking at him unflinchingly. “I never got to talk to her about it myself. I wouldn’t be surprised if he said ‘Maria thinks you should talk to someone,’ she shot it down, and he left it at that.” 

Tommy could practically see her starting to turn it all over in her mind, weighing out all the pieces and lining them up until they were in order and she figured out how to fix it. Maria wanted to solve every problem in front of her - and she usually could, far and away the smartest damn person he’d ever met - but all that solving meant a lot of deciding, too. Making things black and white and right and wrong. 

Sometimes shit was just too messy to work that way, and it drove her nuts. 

Tommy looked away for a moment, leaning forward to glance out the open front window for any sign of Ellie before he kept talking. Good timing, too - she’s making her way across the road, wearing her backpack and holding a pillow under her arm.  

“She’s gonna be here in a second - look - there’s no way.” he sighed and leaned forward, lowering his voice. He wasn't above pleading with her. “All of this eats at him. Trust me on that. There’s nothin’ he wouldn’t do if it’d help her.” 

“Even if it meant she ended up spending less time with him? Relying on him less?” She retorted without missing a beat, raising an eyebrow at him. 

Tommy stared, a flicker of defensiveness stirring in his gut. “Joel knows her a hell of a lot better than we do,” he reminded her after a pause, thinking the words over as he says them like he was looking for reassurance for himself there, too. “And - yeah. Even if.”

The knock on the door ended the discussion, and even though Maria nodded at him, he didn't doubt that it would circle back around. 

“Don't you smell a treat,” he said as he opened to door and was hit with a strong whaft of sweat and horse manure. 

Ellie’s eyes went wide as she flushed, looking down at her dirty clothes. “Fuck - I mean, um - sorry. Should have showered - I’ll go -” she went to spin around on her heel before he reached out to grab her shoulder.

She flinched, and he jerked his hand back right away, cursing himself.  

“Nah - foods ready now and we’re eatin’ out back anyway. Just wash your hands. Here - your rooms this way -"

The spare bedroom was on the first floor. "Bathroom across the hall is yours," he said as he pointed it out to her. She dropped her backpack on the ground and tossed her pillow onto the bed, nodding at him as she gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes. 

"Cool, thanks. I'll just, um - wash up and see you out back, I guess?"  

Dinner with no Joel to act as a buffer felt awkward at first, but Charlie's usual table-side entertainment lightened the tone up pretty fast as the three of them watched her smear pasta sauce on her face and fling handfuls of noodles gleefully onto the grass.

Ellie did an impression of Joel falling asleep at the table with his arms crossed that had Tommy belly laughing, and he felt a knot of worry he hadn't realized had taken root in him start to melt away.

Maria took Charlie upstairs to get ready for bed after they finished eating, and Ellie helped with the dishes.

"I'm pretty wiped from today," she said as she finished drying the last of the plates, hesitating where she stood with her arms hanging at her sides. She looked at him, and then at the ground. "I'm gonna go take as shower and - and read in bed for a bit. If that's... cool." 

There was an air of nervousness to her voice, like she was really wondering how he would react. He had to fight to keep the frown off his face. All he’d ever really heard from Joel was that she’d grown up in FEDRA care - more than enough information to figure out what kind of childhood she had. It made him want to hit someone. 

He flashed a small smile that he hoped didn’t read as much pity as he felt for her.

"'Course. Sleep well - you know where to find us, yeah?"

By the time they'd gotten Charlie asleep and made their way back downstairs, Ellie was in the spare room with the door clicked shut.

They stayed up for a bit, both of them waiting to see if Ellie would emerge again without having to say it out loud. Maria was curled up on the couch reading, the way she always did before settling to bed, and he tugged her feet into his lap, rubbing them mindlessly while he leaned his head on the back of the couch and rested his eyes. 

When they finally went to bed, he was feeling okay about it all, saying as much out loud to Maria. He wondered later at just how naive he could be.

It wasn't until he got up in the middle of the night to pee, and was almost back to the bedroom doorway, when he heard the faint but unmistakable sound of creaking wooden floorboards from downstairs. 

He stood still for a few long seconds, listening until he heard it again, and then carefully made his way down the staircase, placing each foot as quietly as he could. As he got closer, he realized that the sound of the footsteps was faint and muted because it was coming from behind the closed spare room door. 

He sat down on the stairs when he was near the bottom, and decided he would stay right there until he heard the reassurance of the old metal bed frame groaning as Ellie climbed back into it. 

It never came. He listened to her pace until he lost the ability to keep his eyes from closing, and reluctantly made his way back to bed. 

"Everything okay?" Maria asked sleepily as he crawled back under the covers. 

He sighed as he wrapped an arm around her warm body and tugged her closer to him. 

"Ellie ain't gettin' much sleep, don't think." 

Maria sighed too. "First night'll be rough. Maybe it'll get better." 

"Yeah," he said. "It will." 

He'd make sure of it. 

[whysamwhy123]

✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨

Tagged by the wonderful dynamic duo that is @aerodaltonimperial and @perhapswhoknowsvamp and it's very fitting that those two lovely people tagged me because they're a big reason why I wrote much of anything this year! Took me a while to get this done because I wanted to get my last fic of the year out the door first. I'll put the rest below the cut, and fair warning - it's loooooong. This bitch doesn't shut up, so I rambled on. A lot.

Words and Fics

76, 222 words published on AO3 in 2023

15 fics published on AO3 (16 if you count that one kinkmeme prompt I filled and posted anonymously)

2 little tumblr ficlets

Top 3 by Kudos

Voice in the Dark - Hookhausen (not super surprising, considering it was a popular pairing at the time, and it was the fic I wrote for the anniversary event)

Kids These Days And Their Darn Phones - Hookhausen

Half Your Age Plus Seven - OrangeHook (I continue to be incredibly surprised how well this fic did, like...huh?!)

Top 3 by Hits

Voice in the Dark - Hookhausen

Voice in the Dark, Part Two - Hookhausen (how fitting, LOL)

Half Your Age Plus Seven - OrangeHook (Seriously, what was it about this fic that drew people in? More so than any of my other OrangeHook fics? Like, I'm grateful and all but also confused, like this fic is way too long?! And weird about the age difference?!)

Author's Favourite

As much as I'm loving writing OrangeHook now, I think Voice in the Dark, Part Two is probably the best thing I've written? Even though it's also overly long and gets weird at the end (very much did not expect it to go in that direction when I started writing it), I'm actually pretty proud of how that one turned out. I had a clear vision in my head for how each scene would play out and what I wanted to get across, and man, I remember how most of the Hook/Evilhausen dialogue popped into my brain late one night when I couldn't sleep, so I spat it out into a doc and then about a month later when I actually wrote the scene, I don't think I changed a single word? I just added everything else around it, all the not-dialogue parts. And it was just a lot of fun getting to carry on that story, especially as someone who hasn't managed to crank out a proper multi-chapter fic yet. Who knows, maybe I'll return to that world someday...

Fandom Events in 2023

Uh, well, I guess I did the whole Hookhausen Anniversary thing? And...that's about it. I'm pretty disconnected from the fandom at large, whoopsie daisy 😬

Upcoming Projects

Hoo boy.

I have over 5k words of a Ricky/Christian Sugar Baby AU thing written already. I haven't posted it because it kinda needs some smut and that's still not something I can really do. I might post it someday, if I can make something work, or alternatively do what I normally do and put an annoying fade to black in there. Or maybe I'll think better of it and never post it because it's very self-indulgent and I highly doubt anyone else would really be interested or want me to continue it or anything. But I have Ideas for it...so many ideas...

Also, in my ill-fated quest to try and make myself write smut, I kinda started a Ricky/Bill championship celebration fic. Maybe I'll revisit that? Try to get it done?

And then there's that one fic I really want to work on, but have barely started. I've vague-posted about it here before - it's an incredibly fucked-up Dead Dove fic about Daniel Garcia and a Very Bad, Not-Good thing that happens to him, and the subsequent complete mental breakdown that follows. I've had the idea rattling around in my brain for the better part of a year at this point, despite not making much actual progress on it. Every time I think about it though, I have new ideas for scenes or dialogue. I'd like to make it work, but I don't know if I have the writing chops to handle it, plus it would probably end up being super long and nobody would want to read it, so it'd feel like a huge waste of time on my part? And I've had the idea for so long, it's out-dated too. But still, the urge remains...

Oh, and I still have a ton of OrangeHook ideas I'd like to make happen. Some are, of course, about their age difference. Some would (ideally) involve smut. And others... *nervous laughter* Others would likely result in an ''Everyone disliked that'' situation...

Writing Reflection

I was thinking about making a sappy post about this and whoops, here's my excuse! I don't talk a lot on here about my tragic backstory because honestly, who cares? But I will say this - before January of this year, I hadn't written a word of anything in years. Fic or otherwise. I used to love writing, but Stuff Happened and it killed all enjoyment I got out of it, and I thought that's how it would be forever. Then, for reasons I can't even remember, I started reading fic again, specifically in this wild little fandom of ours, and y'all are just so talented that it made my untalented ass want to give it another shot. So...I did.

I remember when I posted my first fic in ages back in January, I thought ''Maybe about three people will read this and no one will leave a comment or anything, but whatever, I wrote a thing and that's something I haven't done in years so that's enough for me!'' And to be honest, I still think that whenever I post stuff now? It's crazy to me that anyone actually reads my stuff and gets some kind of kick out of it. But every kudos and comment floors me and brings me so much joy, I can't even express it properly. I have to say a huge thank you to anyone who's ever read one of my fics, left kudos or dropped a comment. Whoever and wherever you are, you made my day!

And look, I ain't delusional. I know that calling myself a small fish in the fandom would be too generous. But I'm fine with that - because I'm genuinely enjoying writing again and that's what matters most to me. Even though I've also rediscovered how stressful writing can be (🙂🙂🙂) when it comes down to it, there's joy and happiness in my life that wasn't there last year and that's all because I started writing again. And because some lovely folks here decided to let me know they liked what I was throwing out there. The years have not been kind to ol' Sammy Sam-Sam and this year was no exception, but getting to forget about all that shit and write my silly little wrestling fanfiction has been a great distraction and a comfort through this whole year.

So...yeah. Thanks to everyone who's ever commented on my writing, thanks to the folks who follow me on here (I don't know how you manage that though, I'm such an annoying bitch, aren't you sick of me yet?) and thanks to anyone who I've had the chance to chat with about writing and ships and whatever silly little ideas pop into my head (any of y'all feel free to message me at any time, I am always down to blab about whatever blorbos/ideas take your fancy). I'm hoping I can keep this train a-rollin' a little more next year. Still thinking back to when I started writing again, I made my new AO3 account expecting to write Dustjim only, but then I quickly decided I couldn't write those two well enough, and since then I've bounced around a bunch of different pairings, with a few rarepairs shoved in between for good measure. God only knows where my head will be at this time next year, LOL. I'd love to finally be able to attempt some of the bigger ideas I've been cooking up for a while now. Maybe I'll even write a proper multi-chapter fic? We'll see, but this bitch can dream, at least.

Rules:

Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums.

I'm not going to tag anyone because I'm pretty sure everyone I know who writes has already been tagged? So if you're reading this and you haven't, go ahead and do it! By which I mean, eat glass. Eat all the glass that you want. Accidents happen in the dark.

[perexcri]

Hello!!! You said you have been reading a lot of aus, could you please tell us about your favourite ones?

ahhh hello!! i would love to, because i've been really enjoying aus lately :D i haven't been reading as much fic as in the past because i've been trying to get through some books on my tbr list (of which there are too many, though i did finish one today!), but when i have been reading fics, it's been aus mainly!!

like i said in the other ask, you can always feel free to check out my bookmarks on ao3!! but here are a few of my current favs:

[hiding beneath the cut because it got way too long :) ]

tip-toeing on lily-pads by my beloved @cherryisgone. you might think i'm biased because it was given to me, and you would be correct in thinking that, but also, it's just?? so good?? the pining is off the charts, plus it's a kind of princess and the frog concept with prince Will and knight Mike. the writing is beautiful and has this lovely water imagery woven throughout it that i absolutely adored. idk what more someone could ask for tbh (except maybe a pt. 2 👀👉🏻👈🏻)

a new fight series by tea_for_one_please. this is a wonderful star wars au that does a fantastic job of weaving the main party members into the star wars universe and lore. i read it intermittently while i was visiting friends last month and really enjoyed my time with it. also, it's so well-written that i didn't realize how long the whole series was? apparently the entire series is the length of a book and i just. didn't know this until a few days ago lol. so yes, this one's fun for star wars/sci-fi vibes!!

fireball him! (cast protection) by @willow-lark. i'm a sucker for fantasy aus and this one is soooo so good!! again, maybe i'm biased because one of my stories is listed as inspiration, but i loved this thing. i saw it was posted last week while i was at work, and the second i got to take my lunch break, i flopped onto my couch to read it and was not disappointed. wonderful writing and an ending that left me with my jaw dropped. not that i'm still thinking about it :')

the manuscript by whereyouare. i'm humbly begging everyone to read this one because it's premise is just too good to pass up. it's an au where there's no Upside Down/supernatural stuff from the actual show. Will is a sci-fi author, and his publisher tells him his upcoming book is too cynical and the ending needs to be changed. it's such an interesting study of Will and refreshing take on his character, mostly because he's just...so cynical in this one? idk, maybe that's not for everyone, but i've enjoyed seeing a potential future Will where living in a small town and being in love with his (supposedly) straight best friend have hardened him more. it's fascinating and fun, so i highly recommend it!

warm by @notebooknonbinary. this one's a short fantasy au, but it's so sweet and soft. like i said, i'm a sucker for fantasy aus and have been writing with them a lot lately, so i always enjoy when i find a good one, and this one definitely fits the bill!

daydream by disaster_energy. this is a really fun d&d au where Will gets chosen by the moon goddess and Mike chooses to pledge to her paladin order. i especially loved the world-building in this one because it kinda reminded me of the percy jackson series - it was a perfect melding of a fantasy world with a modern one. plus it had plenty of pining, and i'll never complain about that lol

the vale of shadows by sevensided. another fantasy au!! this is the third installment in the dark mirror trilogy, which is one of my favorite things i've read ever in my life, fic or otherwise. i'm in love with this third installment and the recent update it got - the most recent 4 chapters have the perfect cottagecore vibes that made me melt. i love this whole series with all of my heart, and i'm so glad to see it in a fantasy au setting now

and it's not byler, but just for grins and giggles, i'm once again gonna rec sevensided's ronance one shot, nothing sacred / all things wild. i love this author's writing style, and she takes such an intense and interesting approach with these two characters by putting them in an FBI setting: Nancy is an agent recovering from a particularly traumatic mission, and Robin is her psychologist. they have a conversation and. well. Things Happen.

idk if you're specifically looking for recs anon, but if you're interested, i also have 2 fantasy aus and a vampire au i posted a few weeks ago!! they're some of my favorite things i've written and posted, and i really liked how the writing came out in them, so if you're interested, here they are:

fantasy aus: A Flower That Resembles You, the truth beneath the rose

vampire au: come to me again (in the cold, cold night)

happy reading!! if you have any recs, feel free to send some my way - i go through phases where i'll read more books than fic and vice versa, so it's only a matter of time until i'm glued to my phone burning through fics again lol

thanks for the ask, and thank you to all the lovely authors for creating such wonderful works for us to enjoy :D 💜💜💜

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I am a new reader of your blog, and that is something I want to know (but it's totally okay if you want to ignore this ask!) why you stopped liking [with you]? Is there something in particular that bothered you about this fic?

That... is a question with a loaded answer.

The quick answer is:

I put way too much pressure on myself with [with you] that caused terrible burnout and I couldn't do any creative writing for a long time after; a small portion of my readers were pretty hostile about slow updates; there were criticisms about the story that I had a hard time with; and there are a lot of story beats and writing decisions I made with it that I'm very critical of. All of those things combined, I now have a lot of negative feelings associated with [with you].

The not-so-quick answer involves a lot of self-criticism about my prose, poor choices, the criticisms by my readers, and some behind the scenes stuff. I'll put all that under a "keep reading" for anyone interested in more detail.

When I started [with you], it wasn't meant to be a 50k+ story, it was just going to be a simpler story told in a couple parts... that I then kept expanding. I'm pretty sure every note I have on the original version posted on here starts with, "hey y'all, this story is this many parts now whoops haha"

I had very little planned out, I was just discovery writing my way through everything. I wrote a chapter, read through it a couple times, said, "yeah that's good enough," then posted. Y'know, like what a lot of people who write fics do. "no beta, we die like Ben falling down the bell tower" and all that.

I had ideas of where I wanted to go, but I didn't start an outline until I was well into the story. It was bloated. I felt like I needed to add every single idea I had, and needed to expand on every character, even if it didn't do anything to advance or enhance the story... and that became overwhelming for me to keep track of since I wanted it to all tie together in the end and please my readers.

When I read through it now, there is so much that can be cut that no one would miss. It would flow better and be easier to read.

My prose [the actual writing style] is all over the place and reads like a first draft, especially in earlier chapters. Spelling errors, run-on sentences, whole paragraphs that I should've cut. While I feel better about my dialogue, there are some conversations that read as awkward.

Honestly, the best part of the entire fic is Clementine and Louis' story, which... yeah. I'm pretty happy with the way I portrayed their dynamic, dialogue, and romance. I just wish I hadn't bogged it all down with everything else, like... that's all it needed to be, it just needed to be about clouis.

Oh, and I still like the dream sequence. That's probably one of the better chapters, if not the best chapter.

Now, when I say I made bad choices with this story, one of those choices I'm referring to is my "big rewrite." This was incredibly stupid. Past CJ thought it was a good idea but she's a dumb ass. You can't listen to anything she says.

Basically, I got the brilliant idea that I would take [with you] down and rewrite the whole thing before I wrote the final chapters. I wasn't satisfied with how it was written. I felt I could do so much better. I was going to trim unnecessary fat, expand on important details, make some heavy changes, improve everything, and then repost it with the ending.... so I deleted it off AO3 and got to work.

Terrible idea. Don't ask me why. What I should've done was discontinued that version, made a note that it was old, and then published the new version separately. But I didn't. And a lot of people were pissed at me. Shocking.

I should've just finished it. I should've finished it, posted it, and then went from there. But I didn't. Ever since then I've gotten a lot of readers who would go on anon and send me messages about [with you] that are passive aggressive or guilt trippy. That soured my feelings about the story and myself as a writer tremendously.

Then there's Violet.

I wrote the first few chapters before Ep4 of TFS was released, meaning I wrote Violet before we found out that she's blinded in the explosion in her kidnapped route. I took the "Violet despises you" route, and a big plot point of the story is Violet dealing with all these conflicting feelings about Clementine, hating her but also not, distancing herself from the group, the strain it put on her and Louis' friendship, etc.

I don't like how I portrayed Violet for a number of reasons. I know what I was trying to do, and I knew I couldn't [or wouldn't] scrap everything I already wrote about her and rewrite in a blind Violet on friendly terms with Clementine... because sure, I wanted to do this grand rewrite that sounded easy enough on paper, but in practice that was so much work that intimidated me.

Because behind the scenes fun- for the rewrite, I wanted to do that. That was a major change that would've cut so much from the story I wasn't happy with, and would've been a more positive portrayal of the character. But then I saw just how much would be cut and how much I'd have to write and it scared me off from the idea... so I tried to work with what I had and I still hate it.

Violet's very antagonistic in the story. She attacked Clementine after the boat explosion. Everyone thinks she'll attack her again. Mitch calls her a traitorous bitch and doesn't trust her to not stab Clementine in a conversation. There's even a point where it's mentioned that in the past she slapped Louis during a conversation. She just has a pissy attitude throughout the story but then berates herself for it and I just... I was going for a slow burn recovery that explores her trauma and ends with her reconciling with Clementine... but it doesn't come off that way? Some parts I think I executed better than others but most of it I look back at and say, "...No, past CJ, that doesn't read like you think it does...."

But that wasn't my only criticism I got about the way I wrote Violet, and this one is... a little complicated? And something most probably wouldn't take issue with or even notice unless you're a major Violet stan... but I pretty much gave Mitch [a character I loved at the time] a lot of Violet's canon character points and explored them more positively, then turned around and made Violet more antagonistic, which......yeeeeeah.

The only defense I have for this is it wasn't intentional. It really wasn't, but I understand and think it's a valid complaint. Like... I used to get these anons who would tell me this and I'd quietly delete them because, "...nope, not touching that. If I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist."

Lemme explain: In my fics, Mitch is gay. He had feelings for his best friend and roommate, Justin, before he died to walkers, and Mitch hasn't trusted "gross feelings" ever since... until James shows up and Mitch has to face the fact that he has romantic feelings for him while not being completely over Justin...

...y'know, totally different from Violet who is gay, had feelings for Minerva before she "died," and hasn't trusted mushy feelings ever since... until Clementine shows up and Violet has to face the fact that she has romantic feelings for her while not being completely over Minerva....

It's surface level stuff since they are written differently, and it's not like you're not allowed to have more than one character with character beats like that, but it's enough of a similarity that I get why it would rub Violet lovers the wrong way. Especially since nothing about that is canon with Mitch's character, y'know? It's the character I gave him.

I don't think it was coming from the Violet crowd [the aggressively obnoxious fans no one likes], I think it came from people who were genuinely bummed or put off by my more antagonistic portrayal of her, only to see similar traits portrayed positively with Mitch.

And that bothers me. I do like the way I wrote Mitch, but I hate the way I wrote Violet. It's made me step back and analyze why I wrote them the way I did, y'know?

But the BIGGEST criticism from readers I've gotten?

[with you] is unfinished.... valid, but there isn't anything I can add that. Sorry y'all, it's discontinued, I'm never going to finish it.

The best I can give you is what I planned: a big wedding scene where Clementine and Louis exchanged vows and kissed. Violet showed up and made amends with Clementine. Clementine talked Mitch into dancing with her even though he hates dancing. Aasim tried to ask Ruby to dance, panicked, and asked Mitch instead who was like "...Fuck no, RUBY COME DANCE WITH AASIM!" Louis and Clementine left early to head back to their room and it probably would've ended with some sappy line about being together to the end.

So... there ya go? It's not a final chapter but that's the gist of what would've happened.

But moving on, I was also going through a lot of things in my personal life that I won't get into. I was working on other writing projects that I had more interest in, so [with you] was put on the backburner. Then, over time I grew more sour about it the more pressure and guilt I put on myself, added with the pressure and guilt put on by my readers.

I do want to clarify that it's not like ALL of my readers were like this. Most of them were sweet, supportive followers who only had nice things to say. But you know how it is... you could get ten comments/asks, nine of them positive and one negative, and it's the negative one that's going to stick to you.

So, to my lovely readers, I am sorry that I let you down by not finishing it. To the rude readers, I'm less sorry because y'all were dicks.

Y'know... I can look at all of my other works and either be like "Yeah, I'm really proud of that story," or "Eh, it was one of my earlier works, so I can't be too hard on it."

But [with you] puts me in a crisis of "oh god I'm a fraud, I was never a good writer, what am I doing??? why?? why are you like this??"

and I have to snap myself out of it. That's why I'm so like this about it now.

There are other little things I could go into, but this answer is long enough. I figure if anyone has any further questions or criticisms, they'll send 'em in and I can answer them that way.

I've moved on from all my twdg writing, I'm writing dragon age stuff now, and it's finally working for me so it's not like [with you] has me all hung up still. Plus, I think it's good to go back and learn from mistakes made in old works, y'know?

[kiro-sveta]

My KuraMiyu Exchange 2023 gift for @/teahex, featuring hurt/comfort, sickfic, fantasy AU (with Blacksmith Miyuki and Glassblower Kuramochi), minor angst, fluff, two art pieces, roughly 830 words, and happy endings (because I'm physically incapable of not letting them be happy).

And the first time in close to twenty years that I shared any of my writing with anyone, let alone publish it haha. I'm very nervous about it, and about drawing hurt/comfort, but I also enjoyed working on this and am proud of what I was able to do in the end (while fighting an illness too!), and I sincerely hope you like it, tea and anyone/everyone else who might see this. I'll also share the art and story below (with part 2 under a cut) in case anyone would prefer this tumblr post to AO3.

And the exchange's collection can be found here! Please check it out if you like kuramiyu, everyone did an amazing job!!

-

glass and steel

-

Part 1: fragmented

“Hurry up and get better, Miyuki. Things aren’t the same without you.”

-

Part 2: whole

he’s missed this

-

(some time after the first image)

Youichi walked past the path leading towards Miyuki’s home. He knew in his heart where he’d find the blacksmith, and it wouldn’t be in those quiet rooms. Enough time had passed while he’d been away on business, and his friend had already been restless well before he’d left. He’d be in the forge now, Youichi was sure of it. He just hoped the stubborn bastard had kept his promise and waited until he’d fully recovered beforehand.

His suspicions were confirmed as he neared the forge, the air getting warmer and filling with the sounds of life and movement; the scrape of metal on stone or metal, gravel crunching underfoot, air being forced out of a bellows. Before entering the forge properly, Youichi took a brief moment to close his eyes and take in a fortifying breath, readying himself for whatever state Miyuki might be in. And instantly felt a weight lift when he finally saw him.

There was a flush on Miyuki’s face and sweat on his brow, but there was no sign of fatigue or weakness. His movements were smooth, his breathing even, his face and body full of life. He hadn’t yet noticed Youichi standing near the entrance, and Youichi took another moment to observe him, marveling and relieved to see him up and about and comfortable in his skin again. Not struggling with aching bones and muscle. Things hadn’t been the same for a good while, and Youichi felt as if he himself could breathe easier now.

Miyuki turned from the bellows and noticed him, and his smile grew, his face becoming more alive. “Hey, I know I’m a sight for sore eyes, but say something, Mochi, don’t just stand there. How long have you been there?”

Youichi shrugged. “Not long. It’s good to see you up and about.”

Miyuki’s grin became wry. “It’s good to be up and about.” He wiped the sweat from his brow and neck. “I swear, if I had to wait much longer…” His thought trailed away though, and a small frown marred his brow as another thought came to him. “Wait, you said you’d be home sooner. What happened?”

He seemed to study Youichi in a new light, looking for any injuries or signs of trouble, concern clear. He knew that Youichi always kept his word if he could help it, and Youichi hadn’t meant to be away long. Hadn’t meant to be away during the last of Miyuki’s recovery. But some things couldn’t be predicted and Youichi waved away his concerns, saying that there were more delays than he’d expected, both on and off the roads. It’d been out of his hands. And it hadn’t helped that he’d had to track down his last customer and give him a piece of his mind when he’d canceled his commission before leaving.

As he finished talking about his trip Youichi took the finished commission out of his pocket and looked at it ruefully. It was a small delicate glass bird, wings in flight, and despite the miniscule imperfection in one wing and what his former customer had said, he was proud of it.

Then Miyuki was stepping closer to get a clearer look, gently reaching out for it. Youichi let him take it, and watched as he carefully studied it. “I hope you gave him hell. It’s beautiful, Mochi.” The blacksmith flashed Youichi a grin, and walked over to one of the forge’s windows to carefully set the bird on the sill, safely away from any tools.

Youichi closed his hand and lowered it to his side as he watched Miyuki and the bird. His chest felt tight. Then Miyuki was back, gripping his shoulder strongly, strong enough that one wouldn’t think he’d ever been injured if they hadn’t known better. He was grinning again.

“Come on, I could use your help with some stuff.”

He started walking over to the work he’d abandoned, already expecting him to follow, and Youichi felt both the need to protest and the need to follow him. “You do know that people usually ask for help instead of just expecting it to happen, right? I could be busy.”

Miyuki grinned at him over his shoulder, said, “But you aren’t.” He picked up a tool and beckoned Youichi with it. “Get over here already. It’s been too long since we worked together, and you’ll like this project. I guarantee it.”

And Youichi can’t say no. He already has his tools with him, never took off his work belt or unpacked his bag (and even if he hadn’t had his tools with him, he’d make do, he has before). And he’s missed this, the fire and metal and glass, creating and reshaping things, Miyuki at his side, whole and alight with life. And Miyuki’s right; he’s not busy, he has the time, and it has been too long.

He’s compelled to follow, and does so without any regrets.

[tessabennet]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks to both @somanywords and @zenaidamacrouras1 for tagging me 💛

I'm gonna put my answers under a cut, lest this post becomes a nuisance on other people's dash lol

I don't know who already did this in my very small circle of fic writer friends here, so for any writers who see this and want to do it too, you are hereby officially tagged 🤗

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I currently have 7 works on AO3, two translations and 5 that I've actually written. I kind of think of those 5 as one fic though, bc it's one series, and on my laptop it's all one big document

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

493,817 (I can already say though that by the time my series will be fully posted, that number will be much higher, possibly even doubled)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Marve (more specifically the MCU), and exclusively Stucky

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

These City Walls

Carried the Cross

The Hand of a Devil

Still Running

Loosened Chains

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to every comment I get. If I ever don't respond to one, it's absolutely by accident. I want to encourage people to leave comments as much as I can, and I want to give back the appreciation I receive

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhm. All of them? I stick with canon, which is pretty much only angst, and I can't exactly make it better by filling the gaps realistically.

If I had to pick one though, I feel like Carried the Cross is the angstiest, given that everyone knows what comes next and that it'll be awful

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The one with the happiest happy ending is currently in the making. The others that I've posted and/or finished writing, while certainly having happy moments, still end more or less angstily

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I had a few anons a while back that called me a copycat and plagiarist. They told me to take down my work bc it was a ripoff of another famous stucky series with the same premise. It's the one I did those translations for in fact.

And that's something I sometimes think myself, so it's not like I don't see their point. But the messages were written so rudely that I deleted them rather than open a whole can of worms of discourse about that

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I did/do write smut, yes, but none of that is in the fics I posted so far. And the way I write it is definitely very tame, compared to what's out there. But I think the way I write it fits the style I established for the series, and it fits the vibe I'm going for. Maybe when I'll get to editing those chapters I'll make it more explicit, but for now it's pretty mild

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't, given that I'm doing canon-verse fic. It would probably be fun to give it a try, and maybe one day I will, but right now I'm planning on taking a break from fic writing as soon as I'm done with the series, so idk if or when that's gonna be in the cards

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If so, I don't know about it. I hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly not. I'd love that though, I would be so so so excited to get translations or fanart, and especially a podfic version made from my series

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Also no. I don't know if I'm cut out for that tbh, I'm very particular about the way I want things to be written. So I'm not really sure if I'm the most pleasant person to work with in that respect

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Stucky. Duh

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am not writing 90k+ wips only to not finish and publish them. Everything I've worked on so far will be published, if it's the last thing I ever do

16. What are your writing strengths?

From the feedback I've received, I'd say it's digging into the deep, complex emotional states of my characters. I've also been told that the way I'm writing them all is very authentic and in character, and that I'm doing a good job with fleshing them out. Which is important for what I'm trying to do with the series, so that's also something I'm proud of

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am way way too wordy sometimes. I constantly have to cut down my sentences and try to turn them into several shorter ones, bc they get too long or too repetitive. I'm also not entirely sure about the way I handle dialogue, which is kind of a shame since the whole project started with me wanting to practice doing that

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Yes yes yes!! I love it. I loved being able to bring in my native language (german). But even more than that, I like including languages I can kind of understand. I did some French, and luckily I had help with not just getting the meaning across but making it sound like actual native speakers would say it. With Spanish, which I don't speak at all, I asked a friend who's a native speaker, though that was only two lines or so. Also, when I was working on the series and the post-CATFA parts were coming up, I started doing some Russian on duolingo, to drop some phrases here and there. I do have some help there too, but not by a native speaker in this case. Still, it helps to have a second opinion of someone who actually learned this stuff in school

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stucky is my one and only so far

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Like I said, I kind of think of them all as one big fic, so it's hard to judge. I'm proudest of the one that I'm publishing atm, Loosened Chains, simply bc it's my own post-CATWS fic and those are my personal favourite to read. Skill-wise, I think the best I did is one I haven't published yet, so I'll withhold that information for now

So... there you go! Thanks again for tagging me, guys, I really enjoyed this 🥰✌️