#the whole religious inner conflict

[lacebird]

I need the daredevil show but in book form

[astrojulia]

Astro Observations from the Deep Sea #2

~Aries houses edition

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♂⟶ Sometimes communication with relatives and neighbors can be challenging to 3rd house Aries, and it's important to keep everyone in the loop, especially if their interests are involved.

♂⟶ 8th house Aries have a strong and resilient spirit that has helped they overcome difficult times, they are determined to succeed and have a deep drive to win.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries hold their philosophical and religious beliefs with conviction, but they are open to hearing different perspectives and engaging in discussions with those who have opposing views.

♂⟶ The 8th house is a house that speaks of difficulties we go through, 8th house Aries difficulties can involve been bullied and mistreated by others and these traumatic events have left them feeling powerless and overwhelmed, causing them to act out in destructive ways.

♂⟶ Aries Rising may tend to view things subjectively from a self-centered perspective, they also maintain objectivity in their perception of things and give factual weight to them.

♂⟶ 6th house Aries generally very healthy and resilient, having a lot of energy and a strong body but they realize that they are sick when their body is already screaming, it's important to listen to your body's needs and avoid pushing yourself too hard since sometimes you are more focused in a mental schedule for your health them your body needs.

♂⟶ Aries Rising don’t wait for opportunities to come to them, acting a lot like “you already have the no” in other words, if you don’t try it's obvious that what you want won't work, but if you try, maybe you will.

♂⟶ Many individuals will be drawn to 5th house Aries because of their strong physical appearance and powerful physical appeal.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries believe in the power of new ideas to challenge and improve the world, but they also understand the potential for resistance and conflict, so they’re the first to see revolutionary acts, because there is always rebellion and dissatisfaction beforehand.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries have a natural curiosity and prefer to learn through hands-on experiences rather than traditional academic settings.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries are drawn to partners with a bold, go-getter attitude, finding attractive when your partner can pursue their desires with ease - especially when it comes to pursuing them.

♂⟶ 2nd house Aries, with the right mindset and a bit of careful planning, can achieve their goals while maintaining a healthy relationship with money like a truck.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries are not always focused on execution, but rather on the big picture and the possibilities.

♂⟶ 8th house Aries have a strong will and inner strength, with them they have the potential to achieve great things and create a fulfilling life for themself and others.

♂⟶ Aries Rising has a great desire for fame in their lifes and maybe even being one of the best Risings to deal with it because reality is one, fame is lonely, a loneliness that this placement can handle.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries creativity is a major strength, allowing them to live in the present moment.

♂⟶ Aries Rising vitality and character allow them to succeed through their own efforts.

♂⟶ Sometimes when things don't go as planned, it can be frustrating and stressful for 6th house Aries. Just remember to take a deep breath and approach challenges with a positive attitude.

♂⟶ It's important to 2nd house Aries strike a balance between their desire for financial security and their impulsive tendencies.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries passion for building and design may lead them to pursue degrees in engineering or architecture.

♂⟶ Independence and freedom are extremely important to 2nd house Aries and their see these characteristcs as valuable in their friendships, relationships and work (to be honest, in their life as a whole).

♂⟶ 6th house Aries natural drive and determination will help them succeed in whatever they put theit mind to.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries enjoy discovering new games and taking on innovative tasks, often take the initiative to try them out on their own and something feeling lonely when the subjects are their hobbies.

♂⟶ While 2nd house Aries may make impulsive purchases, you also have a strong drive to reach financial security and are quite aggressive in your pursuit of it.

♂⟶ Some of the reasons that Aries Risings can be famous are for their ambition, courage, initiative, creativitu, audacity, drive… characteristics that if you think of someone you have as an inspiration in life, that person has.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries values their own independence and appreciate a partner who's self-reliant and active so both can do their own activies without being jealous.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries don't like to rely on others to do their thinking for t,hem and they’re always eager to learn something new. However, they may find it difficult to commit to something long enough to truly master it.

♂⟶ As someone who is attuned to the dynamics of groups, 11th house Aries are quick to notice and address any negative behavior, such as dishonesty or insincerity.

♂⟶ 2nd house Aries might find that their thrive in fields related to construction, mechanical design, or architecture, as these industries can help you build a strong financial foundation. But professions such as police work, military service, firefighting, manufacturing,knit and crochet can be especially lucrative for you, as you have a strong desire to make money and are confident in your ability to do so.

♂⟶ As 4th house Aries get older, they might even start to feel more youthful, active, and playful.

♂⟶ While disagreements among younger family members may be common, 4th house Aries are often the one who coordinates family activities and assigns tasks as needed.

♂⟶ 10th house Aries drive and passion make you well-suited for careers in fields such as law enforcement, military, medicine, construction, and design.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries has difficulty to be open to compromise and listening to their family's needs and desires, thinking they know what's best for their family without consulting them and being authoritative in the family environment. It's important to remember to keep an open mind and be respectful of their opinions.

♂⟶ 6th house Aries brings a lot of enthusiasm and dedication to their daily routine, being able to infect others with this energy, as well as irritating those who are not very keen.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries have a lot of energy and stamina to manage their family and household responsibilities, making likely to take on a leadership role in family matters.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries can get pretty hostile if they feel like they’re being trapped or held back.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries adventurous spirit drives you to seek out unique and exciting experiences, especially in new and foreign cultures. Traveling is a passion of them, and they eagerly embrace new opportunities to explore.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries home is a hub of activity for their family, making they like indoor activies and and being very domestic people (principally combined with Capricorn Rising)

♂⟶ Aries Rising has a natural tendency to use themself as a reference point for integrating other aspects of their mind and personality. They also uses a lot of first person vision to talk about their stories and life, trying to connect with others talking about similar life experiences.

♂⟶ 8th house Aries understand the importance to be positive,kind, undertanding and constructive with themself and others so the harming cycle can end.

♂⟶ 6th house Aries are determined and hardworking person, but they don't want to risk fatigue or injury by overdoing it that’s why they take a lot of care in their health.

♂⟶ 6th house Aries are always pushing themself to get things done, which can make it hard to relax and take a break, making they even more prone to burn out.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries prefer to keep your plans private until they're ready to be shared with others.

♂⟶ When it comes to sharing their opinions and ideas, 3rd house Aries are confident and comfortable expressing themself.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries value their individuality and prefer to maintain a sense of self, even in emotionally charged situations.

♂⟶ In a relationship, 7th house Aries tend to dive in headfirst, with a passion and intensity that can be exciting, even if it sometimes leads to frequent arguments.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries are also people who enjoys traveling, especially by car, and exploring new places or revisiting old favorites.

♂⟶ Unhapilly Aries Rising self-referencing can lead them to a belief that the universe revolves around them. However, as their notion of self evolves, the integration of their mind at its primary focal point (the self) can lead to a robust and self-aware consciousness.

♂⟶ 10th house Aries is the type of person who surprises everyone with their professional choices, especially if the native also has Cancer Rising, as everyone think that the native will choose safer careers and actually no, they choose their greatest desires and dreams for their life path.

♂⟶ When a relationship ends, 7th house Aries may struggle to come to terms with it, but it's important to focus on the positive aspects of the experience and the growth that comes from it.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries values their independence and enjoys taking initiative in their life, trying thinks that others family members never did.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries were encouraged by a strong and determined mother or primary caregiver to pursue their dreams, and this has given you a bold and outspoken personality.

♂⟶ In everyday correspondence, 3rd house Aries may be somewhat unpredictable, but they’re always ready to respond to emergencies quickly.

♂⟶ 11th house Aries courage, resourcefulness, and determination are key strengths that can help they achieve their goals and fulfill their dreams and they will fight until their last breath to reach and protect their deepest dreams.

♂⟶ While their outgoing nature can sometimes create confusion about the nature of their relationships, 11th house Aries are always willing to lend a helping hand to those they care about and value their trust and loyalty in return.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries may have ancestors who worked in military, navy, or air force.

♂⟶ In groups that are based on hierarchy, 11th house Aries can have a strong position of power and authority.

♂⟶ While this can sometimes be challenging, 11th house Aries have the drive and stamina to effect positive change and revitalize the collective spirit of their social circles.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries need to be patient to see their visions become reality since their mind is always conjuring up new projects.

♂⟶ To achieve their goals, it's important for 7th house Aries to embrace and assume their assertive and driven personality. They’re more passionate and impulsive they might realize, which is why they’re drawn to people who exhibit unyielding and fierce traits.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries encourage their children to make the most of life and seize every opportunity, instilling them with bravery, strength, and competitiveness since this native children are highly influenced by Mars or Aries.

♂⟶ 10th house Aries possess a natural assertiveness and a pioneering spirit, qualities that can be an asset in their pursuit of t their goals. However, it is important to remain mindful of their impulsiveness and the potential impact it can have on their reputation and relationships, that’s why it is important to take the time to plan, seek out guidance from mentors and experts, and pursue goals that are meaningful and aligned with their values.

♂⟶ In their childhood, 4th house Aries may have felt stifled or embarrassed by a particular authority figure in your household, especially masculine ones.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries value diverse perspectives and are always seeking to expand their understanding of the world.

♂⟶ Building strong and lasting friendships may be difficult to 11th house Aries native, but it can also provide support and encouragement on their journey, even if this native really wants to, their journey is not to be walked alone.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries probably love playing games that require skill and bravery.

♂⟶ 11th house Aries can be more difficult if the native is a woman than a man, since aries nature is something negative for society when it is bound in a woman, their leadership, freedom and expression will be greatly pruned.

♂⟶ As a child, 5th house Aries were highly active and athletic and that passion for movement and challenge continues into adulthood.

♂⟶ People may be hesitant to offer Aries Rising help because they appear capable of handling things on their own and even sometimes refuses the help because they can do it faster and better.

♂⟶ Aries Risings are the type of people who seeks out their life’s purpose and act like what they do in life has a bigger meaner, a bigger mission that no one else can see.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries loves to brainstorm as this type of communication manages to keep up with their taste for new ideas and fast thinking.

♂⟶ While 10th house Aries are ambitious and confident in their abilities, it is important to remain humble and open-minded, recognizing that there is always room for growth and learning since when this native put their mind in something they’re unlikely to hear anyone, that's great when it comes to criticism but terrible when it's words of help.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries appear reserved in group settings, but in one-on-one situations, they can be surprisingly assertive and confident

♂⟶ Aries Rising personality are characterized by zeal, self-assurance, and initiative, which makes them a true go-getter!

♂⟶ 11th house Aries have a natural ability to connect with others and form meaningful friendships, and they enjoy spending time with people who share your interests and passion for physical activities, they’re the of people who will always have someone to talk whenever they go.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries impulsiveness occasionally results in less-than-ideal outcomes, causing them to get into many embarrassing situations that must be dealt with by their creativity.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries might have also had a few accidents or mishaps around their home, so it's always good to take precautions to ensure everyone's safety.

♂⟶ As 8th house Aries continue to heal and grow, they are discovering the power of channeling their passion and assertiveness in positive ways, building deeper and more meaningful connections in their relationships.

♂⟶ Sometimes 6th house Aries to-do list can weigh heavily on your mind, making it impossible for them to relax and do something else that hasn't already crossed everything off their list.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries need to be careful not to become too controlling or domineering in their household.

♂⟶ While 10th house Aries have a desire for recognition and success, they are mindful that patience and hard work are critical to achieving long-term success.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries leads to a busy and active life, making they neglect their needs for rest and self-care too easily, it's as if the need to achieve their dreams for a better future makes them forget about the needs of the present.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries partner and close friends are a big source of inspiration for them, and they enjoy helping others find their courage and determination.

♂⟶ When it comes to romance, 5th house Aries tend to be confident and forward,often taking the lead in flirting and the pursuit of someone they are interested in can be thrilling, but they may find that once the challenge is over, the attraction fades.

♂⟶ When 2nd house Aries are invested in a project, they have a strong work ethic and are willing to put in the effort to get the job done quickly and efficiently.

♂⟶ 2nd house Aries deal with their stress by buying things.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries prefer to focus on building positive relationships with others than getting into discussions and debates, leaving their sincere opinion aside for the group wellbeing. They prioritize non-violent means of advocating for change and seek to avoid causing harm or pain to others.

♂⟶ Combining travel with business is particularly appealing to 3rd house Aries.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries have a busy social life and a strong desire to enjoy life's finer things. They also may have a competitive streak when it comes to spending time with family and friends, engaging in playful games and roughhousing.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries recognize that competitiveness can sometimes lead to tension and animosity, and they strive to avoid coming across as arrogant or pretentious.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries are highly empathetic, and while this can be an asset, it can also be overwhelming. Taking time to recharge and find inner balance is important to them.

♂⟶ Aries rising may pass as egotistical in their worst, and a strong sense of their self and their desires at their best.

♂⟶ Theirs positive outlook and determination make 9th house Aries believe that they can achieve anything they set your mind to.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries are independent and self-sufficient, which has given them a strong sense of direction and the drive to pursue their goals, they approach challenges with a warrior mentality, ready to overcome any obstacle in their path.

♂⟶ 8th house Aries actively works on healing and finding healthier ways to express their emotions.

♂⟶ When 12th house Aries are comfortable, they’re able to handle difficult situations with ease.

♂⟶ Aries Rising are quite willing to compromise in their relationships and care deeply for those they are close to.

♂⟶ 11th house Aries thrive in group settings and enjoy socializing with others, though they may find that some friendships lack depth and don't last long.

♂⟶ It's no surprise that Aries Rising likely had the role of the 'independent' child early on in their childhood, which has carried over into their adult life.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries interactions can sometimes be characterized by disagreements or competitions, but ultimately, these dynamics are meant to bring out their inner warrior.

♂⟶ 10th house Aries possess a strong drive and a go-getter attitude that has propelled them towards great accomplishments, they enjoy exploring new opportunities and experiences, seeking challenges that will push them out of their comfort zone.

♂⟶ 2nd house Aries financial situation is tied to their self-esteem, and achieving financial success can make they feel even better about themself.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries may find rest anywhere that's not their house.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[noa-ciharu]

Alternatively: fyosig + 36

fyosig + "please don't leave me behind"

Post Meursault, angst, hurt/questionable comfort, religious symbolism, sort of brainwashed Sigma

- - - - - - - -

Last thing Fyodor expected is to be tracked down in the back of beyond, much less by Sigma.

Peculiar indeed. But warranted reason for alarm? Not so much, or at all if he's to be candid. After all Sigma did read all his memories, not too implausible to presume he put wits to good use and figured out his whereabouts on very own. Impressive Fyodor had to remark - if not served as an immaculate litmus test. Not necessarily of Sigma's capabilities and lengths he's willing to go, those are nothing groundbreaking. But of Sigma's irrefutably wheedled decision - spoke of all darkest hues he managed to smear on the once blank canvas.

Dozen seconds ticked by in suspensive silence. Sigma stared at him with those vacant yet fiery eyes, at sixes and sevens. Fyodor didn't rush him anyhow - best to give Sigma illusion of freedom, although judging by how spent he looked Fyodor assumed that by this point Sigma can see through all of his smokes and mirrors.

Accented inhale. Tone eerily flat. Simultaneously clash of emotions and none at all on features - "I know everything"

Of course he does. That came as no surprise; what did is that Sigma felt the need to remind him of that. Fyodor crossed legs, tipped head and offered a meak smile Sigma should know by now serves just to disarm. "So you do", affirmed Fyodor while staring right up into oddly unguarded eyes. "But you've surely didn't come all the way here to tell me just that" - surely there's an ax to grind, but judging by confusion flashing over Sigma's twisted face it's not too far fetched to assume he's knocked out for six.

So no, not even Sigma himself knew why he sought him out. Itch for him became hardwired - no matter how much Sigma fought the newly found impulse he needed him like oxygen to breathe. Akin to moth to the flame Sigma will always be draw to the one that burned the life he used to know to the very ground.

"I..."

Pause followed by couple stressed sighs. Lips twisted and quivered, chest heaving in dire struggle for breath, eyes snapped shut with force that had to sting - inner conflict was manifest. Much to his credit Fyodor kept expression impassive; best to neither insult via glaringly fake consideration nor unnerve via brutal honesty. Considering everything Sigma went through in his memories this level of lucidity was to be applauded instead.

Frowning Sigma clasped both sides of his head and groaned - "Ugh, my head feels like a mess", kneaded forehead and huffed, likely wishing to cast away his presence from mind - futile endeavor, by this point he was engraved in every fiber of Sigma's being. Like clockwork he admitted just that - "Ever since that cursed day I couldn't get you out of my mind"

Your curiosity had a price tag on it, Fyodor wished to wise off but kept poke behind teeth. No need to fan the flames, especially when Sigma was on the brink of cracking; nothing but an empty shelf of former self. Greed got the best of him. In accordance, his freedom was clipped away. Every sin calls for a punishment, just because he didn't take over Sigma's body didn't mean there aren't other ways in which he can consume a greedy soul whole.

Sigma took a step backwards; then wobbled forwards, subliminally drawn by him and him only. "Your presence has engulfed me", heavy breath, foggy eyes, skin unhealthily wan - perplexed like this Sigma painted rather drained picture. Child's play to forge into a perfect weapon, however Fyodor knew a prod too firm could topple fragile mind pass the point of return - if he's to take this one into his embrace he'd need to thread carefully for regular manipulation would no longer cut it. By this point it's not even a matter of whether Sigma would take his hand or not, just when he'd realize caving in is inevitable.

"Gosh, what have you done to me?!", snarling Sigma paced back and forth; rocked throbbing head between arms and tried to soothe himself; to no avail. "No matter how much I try", sharp inhale, Sigma threw head back and combed fingers through hair; likely pucked out few strands from stress alone. "I cannot stop viewing life from your twisted perspective"

Ah, there it is, symphony to his ears. "That's a given", snickered Fyodor, allowing ounce of sadism to seap onto surface; insulting to keep the mask of benevolence after Sigma drank in his every cruelty. Thence Fyodor let devilty touch smile, in contrast kept tone mellow - "After all you've never taken in that magnitude of information" so it's only natural I tainted your sense of identity to the point where you cannot distinguish your thoughts from mine.

For a split second Sigma looked at him like he's not even human - no, not a devil either but something divine that transcends life itself. Atypical sure considering he never elicited anything but fear or anger in that timid yet assertive gaze, but also not surprising. Sigma's life divided in before and after; this one in front of his eyes is the fool who let the devil in on that faithful day; as result lost himself. In spite of godlike ability God he's not, merely one bestowed with His mission of bringing harmony to the entropy. But for Sigma's entranced eyes Fyodor would gladly become one.

In an instant reverence evaporated, leaving nothing but spark in weary eyes that surely would be rekindled. "I know you're up to no good", Sigma hissed and glared, but jab lacked the bite; crystal clear he's desperately clinging to last threds of life he used to know. Biting inside of mouth Sigma rewarded him with another meak scowl, only spoke volumes of how torn he's inside. "I know you'll inevitably end up using me again", accusation yet it came off as more of a wail.

Smart man, that Fyodor had to give it to him; but again foreseeable considering Sigma knew him down to the wire now - quite the strange sensation Fyodor had to admit, however nothing to lose sleep over; upper ground is still and forever will be his to claim. Transitory he toyed with idea of deception; promising Sigma to never lead him on again. With a shrug opted out of it. "It'd be insulting to lie to you after everything", explained Fyodor inaptly lightly considering gravity of the topic. "After all you are the one who knows me the best", flashing a roguish smile he finally stood up and strode towards his unwilling worshiper.

Rather than flinching or showing disdain Sigma appeared strangely relieved for a heartbeat by their close proximity - as if subliminally craving his presence, tactile presence, after being exposed only to indoctrinating memories. "And in spite of all that...", thin voice, head bent low. Sigma squeezed eyes and heaved. "I wish I could hate you", went off the tangent. "But I'd be hating myself in process" - because separating 'you' and 'I' is no longer feasible.

For a second Fyodor weighted the idea of patting Sigma's shoulder and consoling; not even as a part of deception but merely to have him calm down. Much to Fyodor's surprise Sigma beat him up to it - curled arms around Fyodor's frame, shoved coat down shoulders, cried out and threw himself in his embrace.

Ah, so you do have it in you to take me off guard. Silent sobbing, light shaking; hard to tell if Sigma burst in tears but definitely was distraught. Despite being stunned Fyodor found himself smiling; knew right away this one is hopelessly trapped in his web of lies - ironically constructed of nothing but truth, but with mind distorted beyond remedy Sigma couldn't distinguish own projections from reality.

"I know it's pointless to demand sincerity from you", faint hush, Fyodor more felt his chest move than heard the words, nonetheless could tell exhaustion and anguish in tone. In turn he embraced back; hummed into crown of Sigma's head and combed fingers through hair, just to coax Sigma into revealing more.

"But can you promise me one thing?"

Even if I do, how could you ever trust a word of a liar? By this point Sigma should know better than anyone else to expect honestly from him, admitted so himself moments prior - yet like a fool still held onto hope. If there's one thing Fyodor found admirable, albeit sinfully foolish about humans it's how unbreakable their spirits are - surely entertaining, but far and in between were ones worth his while.

Rather than offering any response Fyodor just chuckled; kept on caressing the trembling frame, privately savoring warmth of another human being in his arms - in all sincerity forgot how touch void of malicious intent even feels. Closing eyes he pressed lips against Sigma's temple. After this I won't let you go even to very death itself.

"Whatever you do please don't leave me behind ever again"

[serpentface]

Ok I have been repeatedly asked about maps and I cannot provide any that are anywhere NEAR up to date enough but I can provide this (still WIP and missing most of its lesser cities and virtually all of its towns LOL) map of the Wardi Empire.

(Note- don't take the exact paths of rivers and coastlines too seriously. The broad details are accurate but I'm mostly drawing squiggles here)

Key:

Red area: lands nominally claimed by Wardi imperial rule. It is less territorially contiguous than this map would suggest, but this is broadly accurate. Lavender area: lands of major tributary states/other conquered entities/contested areas (many all at once). Lands that are either self-governing but tributary to the surrounding empire, or heavily contested and in conflict against imperial land-grabbing. Light blue (within red/lavender boundary)- nominally claimed as Imperial Wardi land, but either largely wilderness or otherwise effectively self governing. Most of central Wardin is sparsely populated grassland and savannah, with dry scrubland to the south. Star: A central city-state Dot: A major city.

Key city-states:

Godsmouth - Religious center of Wardin, center of commerce and capital in all but name. Given its proximity to the entrance of the inner sea, it is the most critical port and center of trade.

Wardin- the original city-state from which the Wardi empire emerged. 'Wardin' is used interchangeably for this specific city-state and the empire itself, context depending. Home of the imperial family. Fed by agricultural lands around the Brilla river.

Jazait - city on the White Sea, important river trade route.

Erubinnos- city on the eastern White Sea, another important trade route. Close historical ties to Lobera via the Kannethod river.

Lobera- city-state at the head of the Kannethod River, eastern extent of the Wardi empire.

Erub- City-state along the Yellowtail river. It is currently experiencing a localized collapse due to catastrophically falling water levels.  Named for the same historical figure as Erubinnos and the Erubin river.

Ephennos- the breadbasket of the Wardi empire, key agricultural land.

Tiberrich- Bears a name of an ancient royal Dain king, one of the most culturally diverse city-states with populations hailing from around the Viper.

Finnerich - recently conquered tributary state that fell into civil war, its new leadership is hostile to the Wardi Empire and is currently engaged in a protracted war for independence.

Some points of interest:

The White Sea- large sea to the south

The Viper- narrow inner sea to the north. its ends connect to the Inner Seas and the White Sea, its western tip ends about 55 miles from the ocean. Many have attempted and failed to bridge this gap with a canal, to the point that 'digging out the viper's tail' is a common expression that communicates an exercise in futility.

Sons of Creation - a strange, circular mountain range with a lake at its center and an island at the center of that. Believed to be the site of God’s sacrifice and the world’s creation. It is a prehistoric impact crater.

Jaquin’s Boot - a peninsula, claimed territory of the Wardi empire but functionally independent. The location of the sole native elowey population of the region. 

Yellowtail river: originates from two separate rivers in Greathill, and dies out in the central savannah. Seasonal and periodic flooding extends its length dramatically.

Kannethod river: the largest river in the region and the most sacred, defines most of the eastern borders. Key trade route.

Erubin river: the largest river in the Greathill region

Black river: large and densely populated river mostly fed by the Erubin

Cholemdi - ‘the salt wastes’, a great dry lake and surrounding salt flats. Some condemned criminals are sent here, and the whole land is believed to be haunted. 'Saltlanders' live on its borders. Very, very rarely, seasonal rains and flooding of the Yellowtail river refills the lake. 

Oaklands - largely undeveloped oak forests, source of a few major rivers.

Odatoche- The highest peak in the region, a long dormant volcano

Greathill - montane region. Source of several great rivers. Land of the Hill Tribes. 

The tooth - a peninsula in the waters of The Mouth. Contains a port city Od-Koto.

The Tongue- lower Godsmouth. 

[hotmusketeerspoll]

Magnificent Musketeer Tournament

Aramis Poll 1 - Round 1

Aramis - Callum Blue Young Blades 2001

i'm gonna be honest, i watched this movie for hugh dancy d'artagnan, but i was pleasantly surprised by how much i liked callum blue's aramis?!! i think callum blue was a great choice for a young aramis. i love how he portrayed aramis' inner conflict over staying with the musketeers or leaving to join the priesthood. he has a whole existential crisis after he kills a man for the first time, you can see it really tears him up inside!! exquisite

Aramis - Luke Evans The Three Musketeers 2011

ok I have strong STRONG opinions about aramis (sexiest of the three musketeers) but SO! FEW! VERSIONS! delineate his 2 cool ultra defining features: being Hella Good with the Ladies, and at the same time Being Insufferably Up His Own Ass About How Devout He Is. Perfect character! he blends all the sexiest parts of Catholicism with the sense he would be NASTY in bed. why luke evans’ version? It’s one of the few (maybe ONLY??) of the film versions that actually keeps his Catholic posing semi intact and recognizable, mostly by him wearing gay little priest outfits and sexy crosses at every opportunity. Hot! Luke Evans also does a good job conveying that while he is religious, he’s also Not Afraid To Be A Little Shit—key parts of aramis’s character in my opinion. vote for this sexy lad! (he is only indistinguishable from Orlando Bloom in one or two parts.)

The complete list of entrants can be found here.

Additional Propaganda under the cut

Callum Blue:

Luke Evans:

he is the one who best channels Book Accurate™ hotness levels (slutty in a catholic way).

slut slut catholic slut he has glasses oh god it's so slutyyyy

[weepingchoir]

Imperium Sanctus

(...T)he phrase “Grimdark” may suggest the name of some 2000s era Goth club. It’s a recent coinage for an ongoing craze in “gritty” and dark fantasy settings, epitomised and popularised by George RR Martin, becoming the default tone for a whole range of feted fantasy offerings from Joe Abercrombie’s First Law series featuring a dark, brooding protagonist who kills a lot of people — and occasionally feels bad about it — to Mark Lawrence’s Broken Empire Trilogy featuring a dark, brooding protagonist who kills a lot of people — and occasionally feels bad about it.

Like many fantasists with a bone to pick, mister Milbank doesn't actually know when or where "grimdark" was coined. Knowing fuck all has never stopped a critic (indeed, The Critic): Milbank goes on to blame everything from Breaking Bad to The Sopranos, constructing a spurious history of dark fantasy(?) that ultimately singles out author Michael Moorcock as godfather of grimdark.

While Moorcock’s gory, British sorcery is a major influence on today’s grimdark, the inception point of the trend is in fact googleable: it’s been the tagline of gory, British science-fantasy wargame Warhammer 40,000 since its 1993 second edition.

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.

Already this betrays the hopepunk's antimaterialist concerns. It doesn't matter that The Walking Dead and Boardwalk Empire are nothing alike. Taking the historicist tack, it becomes even less likely that they have a connection to 40K. But morality, as an immaterial concern, is a laser beam: it vaporizes material history. Grimdark is a specter on the pages of anything that irritates gentle sensibilities.

For the sake of avoiding googleable gaffes, Alexandra Rowland, author of books named things like A Taste Of Gold And Iron, and coiner of "hopepunk", in a follow-up essay:

There’s no such thing as winning forever. Evil cannot be vanquished, only beaten back for a day or two, and then it trickles back in, like water seeping through the cracks in a dam. Ask it of hopepunk, then: "What's the point?" And the answer is, of course, that the fight itself is the point.

In the noble brightness of the far future, there is only (___)?

Unlike Rowland, Milbank is a nothingpunk: The Critic is a conservative Christian rag pontificating everything from trans-exclusionary rhetoric to the dismantling of higher education. Which begs us to consider how Milbank so easily co-opts shades of Rowland's language to peddle a retvrn to Tolkien, on its face the last thing a fantasy author looking to innovate would want.

The Imperium of Man, the central setting of 40K, is an arch-conservative Great Man cult worshipping the once-Emperor of Mankind. This is the gate leading to the inner sanctum where the Emperor's corpse resides. Catholic readers may have noticed similarities to portrayals of the Archangel Michael fighting the Dragon (1400~, 1498, 1860), as narrated in Revelation 12.

Revelation is the tale of darkness enveloping the world, and the noble, virtuous men who persevere despite persecution and are eventually victorious in heavenly war(!). This is not dissimilar to J.R.R. Tolkien's "fundamentally religious and Catholic work", in which ordinary men persevere against darkness enveloping a world. Rowland and Milbank both champion Tolkien as exemplary, the former in the same breath as Jesus. Yes, of Nazareth.

The Lord Of The Rings is unmistakeably about the War of the Ring. Positing Tolkien's apocalypticism as aspirational fails to rebuff the basic conceit that war is a human constant and even a force for good. If this isn't the aim of a genre purported to concern itself with kindness and "giv[ing] a fuck about the people on the other side of the world", what is?

Aesthetics. Rowland doesn't call for a narrative movement with less conflict, but one that appropriately celebrates those that fall on the right side of conflict. Even just those that deigned to imagine, of slaying the Dragon, "probably drunk in a bar somewhere, I bet it can be done, though." (The writer's original temptation: a medal for thinking the right thing.) Millions of people die in Revelation, magnitudes more than in Game of Thrones, but the virtuous go to heaven forever. The Emperor of Mankind sits on the Golden Throne, Frodo bodily assumpted into the Undying Lands, Jesus curled up into a ball and just rolled away. All manner of things shall be well.

The transition from here to open conservatism is again in aesthetics, and thus stepwise. Having established Tolkien as the only fantasy writer he respects, Milbank derides grimdark as immature wish fulfillment. If you write fantasy at all, it ought to have a clear moral message, else you are devaluing reality by infesting Real (not in the Lacanian sense) conflict with magic missiles. But he's also established that realistic fiction with no clear hero is a faux pas. He wants Breaking Good and, like, The Walking Alive.

This is no surprise: if you were around for the Disco Elysium craze, you might remember this tweet (holy shit it's still up) calling for a game that uses Disco's systems to narrate the story of "a young witch" looking for her neighbor's cat. Take another step and this is the logical conclusion of an aesthetic that prizes upright moral posture: a world where the protagonist has to do nearly nothing to be good. The little village in the Alps and the events of Disco Elysium might be unfolding in the same world. But our little German girl with no problems doesn't have to participate in anything as unsightly as a Pinkerton massacre. Milbank disdains C.S. Lewis without knowing that what he wants is the end of Narnia, irrespective of the events that preceded it: the crowning of the king, who once was good. The Emperor protects!

[bestworstcase]

What specifically makes you say that the Ozpin circle is basically a cult?

not "basically" a cult—it is a cult.

ozpin's inner circle is a religious organization dedicated to safeguarding four divine relics entrusted to their leader, who is literally the god of light's chosen one, until he deems humanity prepared for the final judgment. its notionally secular nature likely exists because ozma figured out that publicly doing this:

“The others cheered in agreement. The man considered. He had wanted to bring people together, and his efforts were finally bearing fruit. The accidental experiment was working, far better than any attempts he had planned in his previous lifetimes. “The people here believe in magic, though many have never seen it,” she said. “If you show everyone that it’s real, that the man with infinite lifetimes has returned as he promised—” [...] “She shook her head. “We trust in you and the fate you’ve laid out for us. We believe in the good of people and our shared responsibility to protect one another and Remnant. So many have heard our stories about you, but now you’re here, in the flesh. Your presence is living proof that everything you’ve said is true. It reinforces our beliefs and commitment to the Circle. Together, now, we will make ready for the final judgment.” [...] “And for a time, all that the woman had said seemed to come true. Many more followers flocked to Circle and their reputation and message spread all throughout Remnant. This was what he was here for, he thought. Perhaps, in the end, he would be able to rest.”

inevitably leads to conflict because, surprise! people don't like being told what to do by eschatological cults!

but ozpin's circle is not in fact secular—ozpin tells his hand-picked loyalists that the gods he serves are the Only True Gods and the whole point is that he's working to fulfill the mandate given to him by the god of light. the huntsmen academies are, inescapably, a religious institution.

moreover ozpin's circle is a cult not just in the broader sense of being religious in nature and dedicated to worship of a particular god but also in the narrower modern connotation of a high-control group organized around a charismatic leader. this is not a matter of interpretation; this is overt text. half the point of pyrrha's arc in V3 is to reveal this fact.

members of his inner circle are expected to work in absolute secrecy and—evinced by the antagonism between qrow and ironwood in V2-3, and the immediate suspicion of lionheart in V5—subject to intense scrutiny by other members against the possibility of betrayal. likewise, pyrrha is deliberately isolated from her peers (primarily through secrecy) and put under immense pressure when ozpin et al attempt to recruit her as their next fall maiden—all without informing her of anything beyond the very bare minimum facts of what they want her to do. "we can fill you in on the details once we know that you're with us."

and like. with the way those scenes in V3 are framed, with the very direct line drawn between ozpin's ruinous paranoia and secrecy and preoccupation with betrayal and ironwood's ruinous obsession with loyalty, and with the whole thing where the narrative continues to highlight how deeply and profoundly traumatized everyone who comes into contact with the inner circle ends up being... like, this is the intended reading. it is so unsubtle.

salem's circle is also a cult in the religious sense—she's, er, very explicitly receiving cult from tyrian and i would argue at least notionally from the others as well—and while it remains to be seen to what extent tyrian's belief that she would send him to hunt down anyone who left is grounded in reality, at a minimum she doesn't bother to do anything about it so the implicit threat is there to keep people in line.

[lenavonschweetz]

Grace For Sale

Sam Winchester x Reader

Synopsis: Your town could definitely handle themselves, but a little help isn’t something you’d willingly turn down.  When the Winchesters show up - do things get better, or worse?

Warnings: language, anti-religious sentiments, slight religious inner conflict, angst? If you squint?, smut, Under 18 keep faaaar away.

A/N: Takes place during s5:e17 - 99 Problems.  So funny story, I actually AM a preacher’s kid so this episode kinda made me laugh then gave me the idea for this.  Title comes from The Devil’s Carnival.  Also, this has been sitting in my drafts for literal years, guess it’s about time I post it. As always, I don’t have a beta so please excuse any typos. I’ll fix any that are pointed out to me.

Enjoy!

Sam and Dean aren’t exactly sure what to make of your little town.

The welcome wagon was a little more off the wall than they were used to - what with a firetruck full of holy water, a portable exorcism, and a group of civilians that actually knew about the things that go bump in the night.  Still, it wasn’t…the strangest introduction they’d encountered.

“So, are we gonna talk about that?”  Sam asks as Dean steers impala into town - right on the tail of the Sacrament Lutheran Militia’s truck.  What kind of a name was that anyway?

A church looms overhead, answering Sam’s unspoken question, and he wishes he hadn’t even asked.

It’s definitely the apocalypse, what with the devil’s trap brandishing the walkway up to the church door.

Sam’s eyes are heavy - spending the wee hours of the night fighting hellspawn will do that to you.  Especially when you’re bleeding out.  At least the militia had some quick fix first aid handy.

The first thing the brothers notice upon entering the sacred building is the couples standing at the alter, all facing the priest who prattles on about finding something special amidst the impending doom.  The second thing they notice is all of the townsfolk holding shotguns.

Sam scoffs.

“A wedding?  Seriously?”  How in God’s name - no, y’know what, scratch that - how in the Hell were they hosting a wedding at a time like this?

“Yup.  We’ve had 8 so far this week.”  The man to his right, Paul, says and it’s obvious Sam isn’t the only one who’s less than impressed.  At least they’re in good company.

It’s definitely the first time the brothers can be completely transparent in their introductions.  Sure, sometimes they’re found out, or sometimes they’re among other hunters.  But to tell an entire town - and a priest, no less - that they are demon hunters?  Yeah, that may take a little getting used to.

So is the priest toting a gun and the children packing salt rounds in the basement of the church.  Dean makes a quip about running scared or sticking around and making a home out of the place and Sam thinks he’d be leaning toward the later if the end of the world wasn’t resting on their shoulders.

But none of that explained how a whole town had taken up hunting.

Well, until the mystery prophet is introduced in the form of the “Packing Preacher’s” daughter - Leah.

Well…he’d been through stranger.

Dean makes a pass at her - right in front of her father.  The father.  Sam just rolls his eyes, gaze landing on the corner where another figure lurks.

Oh.

This one…he thinks…this one is much more his speed.

“Ah, my other daughter.”  Pastor Gideon says, holding a hand out to beckon you forward.  Sam watches as you push off the wall and approach the group.  There’s little family resemblance, he notes, but definitely isn’t complaining.  While your sister is clad in muted colors, baggy sweater, and tennis shoes - you opt for something a little form-fitting under your dark leather jacket with the combat boots to match.  You scream ‘hunter’, ‘capable’, and ‘danger’ more than anyone else in this town and he has trouble tearing his eyes off of you.  Now, you’re not complaining.  In fact, your eyes linger on Sam just as much as he does on you.  And when he realizes this, the mountain of a man becomes a flustered mess.   It brings a smirk to your face and a blush to his.  “Y/N, this is Dean and Sam Winchester.”

“So I’ve heard.”  You chuckle, arms crossing in front of the very cleavage Sam’s staring at beneath your open flannel.  You cock a brow, baiting him, though he seems too nervous with your father present to answer the challenge.  “Shame Leah never mentioned you.  Though,”  you cast an appreciative glance over their strong frames and Sam very nearly shivers.  Beside him, Dean practically preens.  “I can see why.  If I knew fine specimens such as yourself were going to be crashing in our little town, I’d keep it to myself too.”

The Father is none too amused when you wink at your sister and the two of you share a giggle.  Again, Sam notes the distinct lack of resemblance but brushes it off.

“Y/N,”  Your father says in warning, which you completely ignore and grant the taller Winchester another ravenous once over before turning on your heel.  If anyone asked, you would deny that you were overemphasizing the swing of your hips.

“If you need me,”  you tell him without so much as a glance, calling over your shoulder as you saunter up the basement stairs.  “I’ll be at Paul’s!”

—————

The next time you see the brothers, it’s at the house Leah’s vision lead you to.  Well, actually, that’s a lie.  You saw them the night before at Paul’s bar, but they seemed to be wrapped up in a very important conversation - if the concentration on their brows had anything to say about it. 

Still, that hadn’t stopped you from ordering the brothers a couple of beers.  To his credit, Paul doesn’t judge you - which is a lot more than you can say for your family as of late - and even brought the boys their drinks so that you could do the ever so clique cheers across the bar.

Sam merely nodded in his head in thanks, raised his own beer with a silent ‘cheers’, then went back over to his brother.

So you couldn’t get a better read on them that night.  That’s ok.  It gave you the perfect opportunity to ogle to your heart’s content.

They were some fine specimens, that’s for sure.  The perfect hunters.  Sharp eyes, strong statures.  Hell, Sam looked like he could take out multiple demons all on his own - I mean, come on.  Those arms!

God, you had gotten such a perfect look at them while they brooded and planned what with the way Sam’s sleeves had been rolled and pushed up to his elbows.  Had you ever found forearms as attractive as you did at that moment?  Probably not.

And that jawline?  Christ, you could cut glass on that thing.

The sideburns may have been a little much, but hell, if that was all you could pin as off, you’d take it! 

Your ogling session had been cut short by the bell tolling - another of your sister’s visions - and after arguing with your father in front of the whole church that ‘yes, I am going with them’ - your hunting group was on the doorstep of the abandoned home.  Most of the townspeople are toting guns full of salt or sprayers of holy water, all armed with the ridiculous incantation your sister had told you to use to exorcise them.

But not Sam.  No, Sam was only wielding a knife, and God did he make it look easy.  If you weren’t too busy kicking ass and getting your ass kicked, you’d be drooling over that too.

Only when the dust settles do you take the opportunity to approach the brothers.

“You really are the hunters my sister made you out to be.”  Sam’s perfect eyebrow arches at that, gaze flickering to the way your chest rises and falls with your heavy panting.

“You didn’t think we would be?”  You mirror his smirk and shrug, ignoring the way Dean is eyeing the two of you like he knows exactly what’s going on in your head.  Honestly, he probably did.  Dude seemed about as horny as you did.

 “So,” Sam pants, following the group out of the house.  You miss the way he’s eyeing your ass as you’re just steps ahead of him.  “That’s what it’s like.”  There’s no shortage of sexual innuendo in his voice and you decide to poke the bear a little more.  Whether your father was in earshot or not.

“What what’s like?”  You’re turned to him now, handing in your pockets and treading carefully backward.  He meets your hungry look with one of his own and shivers absolutely rattle your body.  Again he smirks, making sure the coast is clear of your father before saddling up right next to you.

“Having back up.”  He all but whispers in your ear, large hand grazing just inches above your bottom and god, how did he make such an innocent statement sound so filthy.  There’s no way he misses the way you tremble and sigh, not with the way he smirks at you while walking away.

You’re not sure what’s going to kill you first.  The Demons or your insatiable need for Sam fucking Winchester.

—————

Neither.

Neither of those things is gonna kill you first.

Because it’ll be your father that kills you.

Because you’re going to fucking murder your sister.

After the Winchesters brought back a murdered Dylan…well, things were tense. People started to resent them and the warm welcome they had initially received turned cold. Only you and Paul would speak to them without adding to the guilt you knew they already felt.

You knew it wasn’t their fault.  Hell, half of you had been through it before - coming off a hunt all together too cocky and not aware of the demon that still lurked around until it was too late.  Dylan was a good hunter.  Dean and Sam were good hunters.  It had happened to the best of you.  And so you do what you always did - you held a funeral and vowed to be more vigilant next time.

But that wasn’t enough for the townspeople.

Or for your sister.

No, she had to go and suck the fun out of everything.

No drinking, no gambling, no pre-marital sex.

All per the angels’ command, of course.

“What a crock of shit.”  The empty glass thunks against the wood of the bar - as hollow as you feel right about now.  Paul only echoes your sentiments and pours you another glass.  The only thing that pulls you from your ire is the bell signifying a newcomer.  For the first time since Leah’s proclamation, your scowl softens as the person you wanted to see most walks right through that door.

“So, what happened to, uh,” he makes a grand gesture to the empty bar - earning a snort from the two of you,  “’the apocalypse is good for business’?”

“Yeah, right up until Leah’s angel pals banned the good stuff.”  Paul says, earning a groan from you as you pinch the bridge of your nose at your damn sister’s name.  “Y/N’s here helping me kill some inventory.”  Sam chuckles at the glass you raise, tipping it toward him and saying ‘I’m only doing the good work.’  “Want to help?”

With a drink in hand, Paul pours a shot for each of you.  He doesn’t hold back on his opinion of the ‘holy rollers’ nor their hypocrisy, to which Sam calls him out for his noticeable lack of faith.  Paul shrugs it off, defending his honorable lack of prayer.

“Look, there’s sure as hell demons.  and maybe there is a god, I don’t know.  Fine.  But I’m not a hypocrite.  I never prayed before and I ain’t starting now.  If I go to Hell, I’m going honest.  Besides,”  Paul nods to you just as you put your shot glass - empty again - back on the bar.  “I figure if this one can get away with it, so can I.”  Sam’s eyebrows raise at that, eyes finding you.

“You either?”

“I grew up in the church,” you explain.  “I’ve seen how the…holiest of us all can be far worse than the ‘hooligans’ of the world.”  You wink at Paul, air quotes bouncing as you mimic your father’s ‘preacher’ voice.  The two of you share a laugh and you miss how Sam’s fingers tighten around his glass along with his jaw at the intimacy you two seem to share.  “Yeah, I believe in some kind of higher power.”  You continue, focus shifting to the Adonis beside you.  He doesn’t miss the bitter tone your voice takes on. “But I don’t believe in the church.  The organized religion crap.  Never been too big on it.  But then, neither had Leah.  And now, out of nowhere, she’s some chosen prophet?”  You scoff.  “I dunno.  I just can’t trust it.  And like Paul said, I’m no hypocrite.  I know I’m messed up.  Won’t pretend otherwise.”

This time when you regard Paul, patting his hand as one would a brother, Sam’s shoulders relax.

“Yeah, I, uh…I know what you mean.”  A moment of heavy, thick silence passes between the two of you before you’re pressing him for his thoughts with nothing more than a look.  “I believe.”  But he doesn’t sound so sure.  More convincing himself than he is you, maybe, so you stay quiet and let him work through his thoughts.  “Yeah, I do.”  He says, more assured this time.  “I’m just pretty sure God stopped caring a long time ago.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”  A big sigh breaks from your chest, one of those sighs that comes when you feel like you’ve forgotten how to breathe, and suddenly this conversation is too heavy for how drunk you are not and for how drunk you want to be.

After a few moments, a morbid, hindsight joke blooms in your head and you can’t help but laugh, noting the questioning look on your drinking buddies’ faces.

“Guess those newlyweds knew something we didn’t.”  You chuckle, taking a pull of your drink.  “Tied the knot before Leah could restrict ‘em.  Betcha they’re bangin’ like rabbits right about now.”  The liquor burns, smothering your humorless chuckle as you knock it back.  “Lucky bastards.”  

Behind the bar Paul chuckles, noting the tension in the air, the sudden shift of mood, and takes his exit - mumbling something about grabbing more from the back. Neither you or Sam really hear him, though - too wrapped up in the other’s stare you share at what you’re implying.  

Helluva wingman, that Paul.

Once the two of you are alone, Sam swivels in his chair until his long legs drape open and you have to force yourself not to look down.  A bushy, perfectly masculine brow arches.  Then he speaks - voice low and sweet and pure sin.

“Really?  You, uh, don’t seem to have much issue with breaking the no-drinking rule.”  And it isn’t a question.  He flicks the back of his fingers against your glass, warm eyes staring right at you as the faint tinkling tickles your ears.  Your heart shutters in time with the tinkling of skin on glass and you don’t realize you’re chewing on your bottom lip until his eyes flicker to it.  “You gonna draw the line at pre-marital sex?”

“Now, Sam Winchester...who said I would do that?”  The look you fix him with has him adjusting his suddenly too-tight pants.

“Not afraid of being damned?  Of not being one of the ‘chosen’?”

“I’m no ‘chosen’.”  You scoff, bouncing air quotes once more.  “That’s my sister.  Me?  I’m just the poor little preacher’s kid who lost her faith a long time ago.”   It isn’t seductive talk - in fact, it’s dark as hell.  But he asked, and like you’d said before - you were no liar, and you were no hypocrite.  You turn to your companion, renewed .  “But you know…there is a curfew.”

The tonal shift isn’t subtle, but that doesn’t keep the space between you from growing ever smaller, Sam’s large hand sliding up your thigh and again you must fight off the urge to shiver.  Especially when he lowers his voice once more, those big hazel eyes glancing at you from under his full, coal black lashes.

“Is that so?”  A squeeze to your thigh, and you jolt just the tiniest bit, to Sam’s great amusement.

“My place is right around the corner.”  You explain with a shrug, that damn lip caught between your teeth again. And suddenly in the dark, empty bar, you don’t care if you are damning yourself to hell.  As long as it’s at the hands of Sam Winchester, you’ll go willingly.

—————

The wall of your entryway meets your back sharply, a hiss of pain escaping you momentarily before it’s silenced by Sam’s eager lips.

Hurried hands rid you of your clothes, his own falling like breadcrumbs alongside yours until the two of you are falling on to the bed.  Fingers skilled at far more than knife-wielding ghost up your thighs, featherlight touches leaving a fire under your skin.  He’s slow in his undoing of you.  Reverent even.  Watches the way you keen beneath him, begging for his fingers.  Holds your eyes as he drags those fingers through his lips before trailing the wet tips down your front. When he finally gives them to you, one long digit sliding right up to the knuckle, your teeth break the skin of your lip just enough to hurt and you’re gasping - begging for more - which he gives to you, gladly. Working you until you’re ready for him and at the precipice of falling over the edge.

He had looked good in his clothes, sure, but god damn he’s ten times more beautiful out of them.  Infinite smooth, golden skin lays beneath your greedy fingers, a dusting of fine hair contouring the plane of his chest and down below his waistband.  Your mouth waters and you tug impatiently at his jeans.

“Someone’s eager.”  He chuckles, low and husky, standing to drop both pants and boxers.  Oh.  Good God.

“Oh, you have no idea.”  You only break your eyes away to grab a condom before you shove him on his back and straddle those strong thighs.  "I've been wanting to get your clothes off since the second I laid eyes on you."

"Trust me," he breathes - no, borderline growls - and you shutter, walls fluttering at how fucking empty you are and just how fucking bad you need him inside of you right now.  "The feeling's mutual."

He’s big all over, just like you expected, and even rolling the latex over his thick shaft has you shivering in anticipation.  The action doesn’t go unnoticed by the gigantic man beneath you and before you can react, he’s rolling his hips with a moan that takes your breath away.  It takes immense focus to speak through your gasp.

“Don’t finish this before it’s even started, Winchester.”  He laughs at your warning, fingers digging into your thighs and ass.  Oh, this man is going to wreck you, you just know it.

“You have so little faith in me?”  A quip lies on your tongue, something about having no faith at all, but that melts into a strangled moan the second his fat head presses past your opening.  “Oh, Christ.”  He hisses, teeth clenched and head thrown back in unadulterated pleasure at the feel of you, your hips rolling slowly as you try your best to take the overwhelming size of him.  Your fingers digging into supple pecs does nothing to ebb the overwhelming feeling of Sam spearing you open.

“Leave him outta this.”  You quip, sinking down the rest of the way - finally.  You both shiver at the feeling of him fully seated in you before you start rocking against him.

Not much else is said - not much else needed to be said - as the two of you chase relief and distraction in each other.

The stretch burns in the best way and you realize you're going to be feeling this for days.  Every step, every shift is going to take you right back here - your hands splayed out on sculpted pecs, Sam's angelic and angular face contorted in ecstasy as he does his best to keep his eyes open and watch you ride him for everything he's worth.  Those big hazel eyes blink up at you, fluttering and rolling at a particularly deep stroke before they're suddenly open - fiery and determined.  There's no time to even tease or question before he's pistoning up into you, his marble body rubbing yours in such a way that has you gasping for air, his massive hands splayed over your ass to keep you exactly where he wants you. Sloppy thrusts turn to rocking hips and the new angle has your toes curling.

His cock grazes just the right spot with every rock of his hips, both of you whispering moans and groans of the other’s name.  You do your best to keep up, rolling your tired hips when you can, nails biting into his skin when you have to focus solely on not imploding right where you are.

Your orgasm crests, and you beg him to go faster - to take control - and he does, practically throwing you onto your back to angle you the exact way he wants to.  The height difference is dizzying - even with you on your back and him on his haunches - all you can see while he hammers into you is the brand on his chest.  You itch to bite into the ink, to make him mewl against your skin once more but all rational thought flies out the window when his thumb reaches between your splayed legs, presses in tight, dizzying circles, and sends you spiraling into oblivion as aftershock after aftershock rocks your nerves.

In the aftermath of it all - after you’ve seen white from the intense pleasure he milked out of you - you lie in a daze.  Memorizing the way his hands feel as he wipes some of his spend off your chest.  Jesus, the sounds that man had made when he came...you have half a mind to tie him down and never let him leave - your sister's 'orders' be damned.

“It’s past curfew, y'know?”  You remind him, fingers tracing the divots and curves of his abdomen.  God, he’s perfect.  You could spend hours memorizing every inch of skin.   Pity said skin disappears behind thick flannel once more.  You bite back a disappointed groan, casting your eyes over his massive stature.  You don't think you'll ever get over just how small he makes you feel - in the best possible way, of course.  Especially when he flashes that perfect fucking smile at you, dimples and all.

“Yeah?  What about it?”  He urges, a shit-eating grin playing at his lips as he dares you to ask him to stay.  You sit up on your knees then, leveling yourself with his chest and drag your fingers down once more.  "Something you want to say, Y/N?"  If possible, his grin grows wider when you crook an eyebrow at him, beckoning him to your level with a come hither finger to match.

“If you’re waiting for me to ask you to stay, Sam Winchester,"  you whisper, lips ghosting over his own and you take great pride in the way his sinfully long lashes flutter against the tops of his sharp cheeks.   "You can keep waiting.”  The low groan that escapes his throat when you cup him once more makes you ache in the absolute best way.  You're seconds away from throwing your pride to the wind and pulling him back into bed with you.  But this is the end of the world after all.  No doubt he has other pressing matters to attend to.

“Yeah, well, as much as I would love to…I should get back before Dean gets worried.”  Disappointment laces his words, but you’re both too grown-up for any fairytale crap.  Your life felt like more a horror lately than a fantasy, anyway.  So, with incredibly gentle fingers, he pulls your hand toward his lips, grazing them over your knuckles as his eyes bore into yours.  Hmm, he plays dirty.

“Yeah…my dad’s probably expecting me at the church.”  You offer lamely, though there's probably some truth to it.  Not one night goes by without a demon attack or a vision from the chosen sister.  You're surprised you haven't been interrupted by a frantic call from your father already, as a matter a fact.  He smiles at you again, your heart running rampant as he's tossing the towel down to wrap his arms around your waist once more.  The look in his eyes and the hardness pressing into your belly are tempting enough, but you manage to grit out a warning "Sam..."

“And here you are, sinning with the outsider.”  He rumbles, smirking as his eyes drink in your face for - most likely - the last time.  You return his smile, reeling him in for one last kiss...or twelve.

“Yeah, well, if I’m going to hell anyway, may as well make the road there fun.”

If only you knew the literal hell that awaited you in the next few hours…

FIN

[ego-sandwich]

OKAY SO, with the new Soulsucker lyrics "out" (from what can be figured out from videos and things people have posted), I think the idea I had of Soulsucker was kind of wrong. But now I have more theories for St*rfucker!!! So I'll share some of them here, but feel free to contribute because sometimes this gets hella confusing!!

--------------------------------------------------

THE PROPERTY is the safe space Awsten built to protect himself from his fears or insecurities, as known as the demons.

THE SOULSUCKER comes from the part of Awsten that doesn’t want to leave his safe space. In order to protect the Property, he will destroy everything that tries to enter it (like in self sabotage when he ends a relationship before it can hurt him). However, that overprotection is also harmful, because that means Awsten won’t try to step out of his comfort zone and confront his demons. Because of that, the Soulsucker is also a demon, something Awsten needs to get rid off in order to leave the Property.

It's been a pleasure (So destroy my world, I'll tape the cracks) – you can try to ruin the property, but he'll protect it

It's nice to meet you ('Cause what you give out's what you get back) – he will destroy whatever tries to harm the property

THE ST*RFUCKER, as mentioned in the song of same title, is the only way out of the Property. If leaving a comfort zone means facing what you’re hiding yourself from, then the St*rfucker is Awsten’s alter that has learned how to face the demons, or is trying to (ex: the lusty lyrics that reject religious guilt).

To be honest, I'm still trying to figure him out, but that's what makes sense in my head for now. We mostly got Soulsucker content, such as Intellectual Property, but the next album/thing will be St*r's perspective supposedly so there's that. Just have to wait a little!

The St*rfucker and Soulsucker hate each other, but it hasn’t always been that way. They were once one, Awsten, but grew apart due to inner his conflicts. Now while Soulsucker wants Awsten safe inside the property, St*r believes he’s better off out of it.

--------------------------------------------------

STORYLINE

We can't really pin point where exactly the story starts, but it was surely presented for us in Greatest Hits. Throughout the dreamy section of the album, we see Awsten talking about the demons and how they haunt him, as well as the presence of another character and the need of being somewhere safe.

I see his fucking face but he's not me - MAGNETIC (hinting Soulsucker)

Driving where no one can catch me Need a place to breathe and the sun is setting - Ice Bath (hinting the property)

Enough time to right my wrongs because I've wronged a lot - Ice Bath, hinting the religious guilt, another reason why he'll be hiding himself in the Property.

I won't quote the whole album, but every song show one of his fears or insecurities if you get deep into the lyrics.

What I think that happened: by the end of Greatest Hits, Awsten builds the Property (and I suppose he built it because all of the worker outfits he's been wearing to shows). The need to keep himself safe originates the Soulsucker, the protector of his safe space. Intellectual Property shows his ways of protecting the Property with destructive behaviours, such as self sabotaging (take a wild guess) or distancing himself from things that could possible hurt him (Closer). His strong prensence, especially on stage, means that he has taken over while Awsten is still inside the property, unable to leave.

St*rfucker originates from the needs of confrontation, facing what it takes to get the things he craves for. Overcoming the demons, facing his religious guilt in order to be able to love, to be loved and enjoy things that his demons wouldn't allow him to. He is the only one who can get Awsten out of the Property, and I believe the next releases from the band will show him trying to do so.

[smuttyfang]

Akira, Curiosity

"The s/o has a very religious family, so after finding out Akira is a devilman the reader gets really scared and cautious but at the same time really curious and wants to know more about his devilman form and how the whole devilman thing works - v - You don't have to though, and thank you! ^^"

Words: 787

The sunset was always so beautiful reflecting off the water. The boardwalk was your favorite place to go after church. You found the water more relaxing than church somehow, and it made you feel conflicted. Wasn't the church supposed to be the most calming thing in your life? As you questioned yourself and your beliefs, you came closer to the boardwalk. As you approached, you noticed someone else sitting by the water. He looked familiar.. Looking on for a minute, you realized it was Akira. You went to school with him. Everyone had noticed the sudden change in his appearance, it was all anyone talked about, especially all the girls. There was a rumor that he had made a 'deal with the devil' of a sort and that was the origin of why he seemed so different. Despite being a little bit afraid, you felt your curiosity getting the better of you. Walking down toward the end of the boardwalk where he was sitting, he heard you from behind him and turned his head around to look at you.

"Oh, hey.." He said, giving you a slight smile. "We go to school together, right? I've seen you around before." He scooted over, patting the wood beside of him. How was he this nice if he had supposedly been making deals with devils? It didn't make any sense to you. You walked close to him, sitting down. You took off your shoes, letting your feet down into the cool water and sighing.

"Nice to actually meet you." You said. "I was.. curious about you." He put his arm on his knee, still looking out toward the water.

"Curious? About what?" He half laughed at you, like he couldn't believe you would be interested in anything about him.

"You." You stated, plainly. "I've heard a lot about you." You let your feet move back and forth in the cool water, enjoying the sensation.

"Like what? That I'm dealing with the devil?" He grinned.

"Well, yeah. That." He seemed far too nice to have anything to do with a devil. Even so, the way he grinned made you feel a little bit anxious. You tried your best to ignore it.

"You just came from the church up there, didn't you? Aren't you afraid of me?" You shrugged your shoulders at him, doing your best to hide it.

"No, not really. You seem nice. I don't see how you could have anything to do with the devil." You played with the hem of your dress with your fingers, looking down at your lap.

"You're brave for a church girl. I do have something to do with the devil. Maybe you should be afraid of me." He let his head fall, and it looked as if he was going to cry. His eyes filled with tears, but they didn't fall. Something was really off about him. You placed your hand gently on his arm, doing your best to comfort him.

"You are a kind person, I can sense it. I know you are. Despite anything else." You said, trying to let him know that he's not alone if he feels that he is fighting a losing battle with some inner demons. He looked at you, giving you a genuine smile through his tear filled eyes.

"You're real nice. Thanks." He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Sorry, we barely know each other. I shouldn't be saying this stuff to you." He stood up, as if he was getting ready to leave.

"I wanna know more about this whole 'devil' thing you believe you have going on." You looked to the sunset, seeing the sky turn a light purple color as the sun was fading below the skyline. "I wanna help, if I can. Religion or not. Something tells me you're deeply troubled." He didn't speak for a minute, and you gave him the time to gather his thoughts and think about what he wanted to say next.

"I am.. but I don't think there's anything you can do to help." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Will talking help at all? I'll be here to listen, if you need it, Akira. Sometimes that's all someone needs." He smiled, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Sure.. I'll come back tomorrow?" He said, you nodding your head in response to let him know that you would come back as well. "Okay.. but you should probably start heading home. It gets dangerous around here at night."

"How do you know that?" You questioned, pulling your feet out of the water and air drying them by swinging them around a little bit. You stood up, putting your shoes back on.

"The devil isn't just in hell, you know."

[thealogie]

i think a big thing is also that they *did* change aziraphale’s character a lot from the book. I’m pretty sure it was to make him and crowley on more equal footing when it comes to the main character role bc crowley is more significantly the main character in the book (started the plot, was on edge due to being watched by hell, inner monologue that more often outlines the themes of the book, etc). book aziraphale is almost chill about the whole thing, like he doesn’t seem that scared of heaven and heaven doesn’t check up on him ever. in the show they added the other angels and heaven which gave aziraphale some greater pressure, stakes, and internal conflict. It also slightly adds on to the theme of “both sides are bs” and makes it “both sides are bs AND rigid and abusive” and more clearly opens up avenues to take this in a religious abuse, indoctrination, and, however unintentionally at the start, forbidden queer romance direction.

I totally agree with this which is why I find it hilarious that book crowley stans are so much more defensive about his characterization. Everything they do with crowley is a natural extension of book crowley. Aziraphale is the only one who actually gets some adjustment in the service of being a more complicated character and you don’t see me crying about it!

[is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not]

Here's a few questions for you. 🔴♥️🔫🐺

(from: @wolf-among-mechs)

Thank you for your questions, @wolf-among-mechs. I hope these answers will be sufficient. 🔴= there are three such factions I despise. One is a historical grudge, another is with a group who may all be dead, and the other is (partially) a faction who remain around to this day. The first is the Rim Worlds Republic, and Stefan Amaris the Usurper. They destroyed what was (for most) the Golden Age of Humanity. Was the Star League perfect? No. It fought its wars against the Periphery and deeply abused them. But it brought much good to humankind as well. The technology, the peace, the unity of it. Amaris destroyed it all for his own petty ambitions. It is with good reason he is now reviled as the worst single human being in history. The second is the Word of Blake. Much like Amaris, they tried to destroy the Inner Sphere over a petty religious argument. One that led to billions of unneeded deaths. It is telling that even after the fall of the Republic of the Sphere, the ilKhan decreed that former Knights could join a new fraternal order specially dedicated to hunting down Blakist remnants. The third is House Liao. Not the Capellans as a whole, but their ruling house. The reason for this is admittedly more personal - it was rebels professing allegiance to House Liao which killed Aaron DeChavilier, and ultimately sparked the conflict that would destroy the Star League-in-Exile. While it would lead to the creation of the Clans, the stress of the conflict led to the death of Aleksandr Kerensky, our Great Father. Is it any wonder that most people from the Clans dislike the Capellans? At least, for my part, I do try and confine the hatred to House Liao itself. ❤️= I admit, on this question of weapon preference, I am torn. I greatly enjoy the visceral concussion and punch of ballistic weapons, but the light show and (often) limitless ammunition of energy weapons appeals as well. Missiles - especially with more and more 'Mechs sporting guided missiles once again - I find almost too easy. They are useful, do not mistake my meaning, but they require much less skill than a ballistic shot or a long-range PPC hit. Has anyone invented a gun that fires lasers yet? That would be "wicked awesome" as a Terran friend of mine from Boston says. 🔫= I have trained extensively in infantry combat. All Clan warriors train in the basics of infantry combat and melee fighting. It was part of my regular between-deployment training with the Fusiliers - they had several Canopian ex-Ebon Magistrate commandos, a DEST commando, and (eventually) an ex-Manei Domini Banshee Delta to learn from. I am thus skilled with many infantry weapons, martial arts styles, and melee weapons. We even learned zero-G and underwater combat techniques.

As for what I presently carry: I have a JàrnFòlk-modified Sternsnacht Claymore ultra-heavy pistol as my sidearm. It fires 14mm tungsten-core armor-piercing explosive incendiary rounds, from a custom made 8-round extended magazine. It is a beautiful work of art, with platinum damascening, engraving in falcon-feather patterns, imperial jade inlays, and wood from Strana Mechty itself, which forms the exquisitely carved grips. I have used it to kill megasaurs, armored Elementals, and Blakist Zombie infantry alike. I have timed my draw and, even with the Claymore's somewhat excessive weight, have won quite a few formal fast-draw pistol competitions.

I also routinely carry a specially-made Clan Vibrosword. Unlike most straight-bladed models, mine uses a katana-style blade - the exact blade once gifted by my ancestor Turkina to my other ancestor, Elizabeth Hazen, during the DeChavalier Massacre - and yes, in a sense this means I have two genemothers. If you ever have occasion to visit Terra, I can show you the sacred talon-marks on the blade...

In my 'Mech, I carry two additional weapons. All SLDF 'Mechs with sufficient cockpit space will carry a Mauser & Grey Model 980SL pulse laser assault rifle - an upgraded and lightened version of the old SLDF issue Mauser 960, upgraded to Clantech standards, and using a variant of ER Pulse Laser tech from Clan Wolf. The ejection seat kit in all SLDF 'Mechs will also carry a Mauser & Grey built Model 995 "Enhanced" Gauss SMG. The Nest currently hoIds the prototypes for both weapons.

And of course, I have my talons when all else fails. Each of them has long since been upgraded, using a version of the Carbon-Fiber Reinforcement process common among Capellan nobles.

🐺= I have several pets! I keep a mew on my estate, with a breeding pair of Jade Falcons, descended from Turkina herself - I have named them Aidan and Marthe, after Aidan and Marthe Pryde. At present, there is also a snow raven in the Mew, named McKenna, after Stephen McKenna, first Khan of Clan Snow Raven. I am caring for him temporarily in place of his master, Star Commander Kendra Siegel. Kendra, a fine specimen of Snow Raven's Naval Commander phenotype, has been a friend of mine for several decades. She is currently off-world for several months, overseeing construction efforts for a classified project at the Titan Shipyards, and conducting naval exercises between Clan forces and those of the new SLDF Navy, of which she is expected to be appointed Commanding Admiral in the next few years.

[umisha]

The Prince of Egypt - London Musical

Ages ago now I went to see the West End production of the Prince of Egypt. And I've honestly not been able to stop thinking about it since.

I went back and watched it like three times. I watched the cinema release and I listen to the spotify album religiously.

So imma organise my thoughts here.

Before I saw it the first time I was kinda worried I'd be disappointed or that it wouldn't live up to the animation. I think the first time, I was inspecting it so much that I couldn’t enjoy it as much. But I still loved it to the point where I went again (musical tickets are expensive).

The story and characters were slightly to the animation. And when I first watched it I wasn't sure if I was going to like these changes. But honestly, I think the changes somehow managed to make the story 10x more profound. 

If you watch the interviews of the cast on YouTube, I think it's mentioned that they focus on humanising the characters. And to see them more as normal people experiencing the extraordinary. And you really sense that watching it.

The one thing that used to bother me about the film is the part where the first born in all of Egypt are taken. And I think adding Moses’s distress towards this made it seem so much more human. And well raw in a painful sense. There is a part in the song where Moses compares himself to a solider blindly following orders and I just loved having this inner conflict added. 

I think the main change I enjoyed was Remases character. They moved away from a stubborn villain character of the animation. And made him this misguided and lonesome character.

There's a particular scene that stuck with me, where Ramesses’s father dies and Rameses wife’s first reaction is to bow to him as pharaoh. The actor looks at her almost as if to say “what the hell” before turning to comfort his mother who instead of taking his hand also bows down to him. And he just kinda drops his hand. I don’t know but I could real feel his loneliness in this moment. Feel that he almost lost his mother in becoming pharaoh. And how this changed all his relationships.

There was also more fleshed out women characters than in the animation. The queen, Moses' adoptive mother, plays a much bigger role. There was a scene during the plagues where she speaks to Moses and it's just so painful on both sides. Then there's also the addition of Nefetari (Rameses' wife) who is also an interesting character.

Other than these changes in story and character writing, I also really enjoyed the way the stage was set up. So, the stage was quite simple and there were very minimal props. Most of the movement and scenes were created by an amazing ensemble. Like really, they played elements such as fire, sand and water as well as a chariot and horse and a variety of characters. It was really something.

Also the music (I almost forgot the most important part). There were some new songs and some adaptations to the soundtrack but all were amazing. Honestly I could write a whole post on just the music but this is already too long. Maybe another time.

The animation used to be one of my comfort films that I was watching on almost a weekly basis. But after watching the musical I've barely watched the animation. Because the musical was actually SO good that the film just doesn't hit the same. It’s just a shame it's not running anymore.

[keepingupwiththecullensblog]

🌟🚗 Welcome back to “Keeping Up with the Cullens”! I never thought I’d say this, but Midnight Sun actually got… good? Yes, you read that right! After trudging through Edward’s endless brooding and inner turmoil, the book finally delivered moments so intense and relatable that I had to pause and really take them in. These chapters are a must-discuss because they shed new light on Edward’s character, and trust me, it’s a perspective I haven’t seen explored enough! 🧛‍♂️💋 Honestly, I love it because it shows that even sparkly vampires can have teenage meltdowns. 😂✨

Let’s kick things off with the most ridiculous, over-the-top car chase in vampire history. Edward, in full-blown panic mode, doesn’t just drive fast—he goes full-on action hero by stealing a flashy car to speed across town and save Bella from James! 🚗💥 I mean, who knew Edward had a secret need for speed? It’s like he’s suddenly in a vampire version of Fast & Furious, but with a lot more angst and existential dread. You can almost hear him muttering, “Outta the way, mere mortals!” as he zooms through traffic like a bat out of hell. 😂 Seriously, this whole scene is so over-the-top that you can’t help but laugh and cheer him on. Edward’s driving is described as borderline suicidal—he’s pushing the car to its limits, and you can feel his sheer desperation with every reckless turn. He’s absolutely terrified he won’t reach Bella in time, and it’s honestly like watching someone try to beat their own high score in a racing game, except the stakes are a million times higher. 🏎️💨

But after the car chase, the story takes a much more gut-wrenching turn when Edward arrives at the hospital. For once, Edward is acting like a normal, concerned boyfriend, and it’s both shocking and refreshing. Charlie’s not there to help with Renée—he’s stuck dealing with a court appearance, which totally sucks but also makes sense. So, Edward steps up, making sure Renée has everything she needs and is comfortable, just like any boyfriend would. It’s kind of surreal to see him in this role, especially after all the dramatic vampire stuff. He’s navigating Renée’s thoughts, which are practically screaming at him, but he still manages to keep it together. Renée, of course, is immediately suspicious of this perfect, polished young man who seems too good to be true. Edward can barely keep his anxiety in check as he tries to maintain a calm exterior while internally, he’s a wreck. 😅💖

And then there’s the chapel scene. Edward, our brooding, angst-filled vampire, actually prays. 🙏 Yep, he’s praying to Bella’s God for the strength to leave her because he’s convinced that staying with her is too dangerous. “I prayed to a God I wasn’t sure existed, to the God of her people, that he might give me the strength to leave her.” This moment is so gut-wrenching because it shows just how much Edward is willing to sacrifice for Bella. He’s not just some cold, immortal being; he’s deeply conflicted and desperate. You can feel his pain as he contemplates a future without Bella, even though it’s the last thing he wants. 😩💔 This prayer scene is significant because it humanizes Edward in a way we haven’t seen before. He’s acknowledging that he’s out of his depth, that he needs help from a higher power to do what he believes is right. It’s a raw, vulnerable moment that makes his internal struggle so much more real. It’s one of those moments where you realize just how deeply he loves her, and it honestly makes the eventual breakup even more heartbreaking. 💔😭

I seriously teared up. 😢 I’m not very religious, and most people would be shocked I even pray when I need strength, but Edward praying and then lying to Bella is my absolute favorite part because it’s the most human thing. After seeing Bella’s anxiety in the hospital, Edward decides that this isn’t the time to leave her. He knows she needs him right now, and he even lies about staying with her forever because he can’t bear to tell her the truth. “I couldn’t tell her that I wouldn’t stay. I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t have forever to give. But I had to let her believe it, because the truth would destroy her right now.” This is gut-wrenching because Edward is trapped in his own emotional turmoil. He absolutely hates lying to her—seriously, I don’t know how he’s doing it. 🤯 The fact that he’s staying while she recovers, knowing he’s going to leave, is just heartbreaking, especially since he’s seen Alice’s vision of Bella being comatose and depressed after he’s gone. I wanna cry just thinking about these hospital scenes. 😭💔💔

Their conversation in the hospital is filled with so much tension and love that it’s almost unbearable. Bella, still weak and in pain, tries to comfort Edward, who is wracked with guilt. “Don’t I taste as good as I smell?” Bella tries to lighten the mood with a joke, but Edward can’t even play along. His love for her is so intense that he can barely contain his emotions. When Bella asks him why he didn’t just let the venom spread, Edward’s response is heartbreaking: “I can’t do it, Bella. I won’t do that to you.” 💔💬 You can feel the struggle in every word he says—he wants to give her everything, but he’s terrified of what that would mean. It’s in these moments that Edward’s true nature shines through; he’s not just a vampire, but a man deeply in love and profoundly conflicted about what that love means for Bella’s future. 😢💔

And let’s not forget the little moments of humor sprinkled in. When Edward is pushing Bella in a wheelchair, he actually growls at people who stare at her too long. “A low, warning growl slipped through my lips when anyone looked too long at her fragile form.” 🦁 It’s such an overprotective boyfriend move, but you can’t help but smile because it shows just how fiercely he cares for her. Edward’s protective instincts are in overdrive, and while he’s usually so controlled, the thought of anyone causing Bella discomfort sends him into a near-animalistic rage. It’s almost like he’s a regular guy, freaking out because his girlfriend is hurt, and he doesn’t want anyone making her feel worse. 😂💪

The prom scene is another bittersweet moment. 💃🕺 Edward takes Bella to prom, not because he’s into it, but because he wants to give her a good memory—something she can hold onto when he’s gone. “I wanted to give her something to remember me by—something she could hold onto when I was gone.” 🥲 This is so sad because Edward is already planning his departure, even as he’s trying to make Bella happy in the moment. It’s that classic vampire dilemma—how do you balance your love for someone with the knowledge that your very existence puts them in danger? The prom, with its lights, music, and human warmth, contrasts sharply with Edward’s cold, calculating decision to leave. He’s trying to give Bella a piece of normalcy, something she can look back on fondly, even though he knows it will only make his departure that much more painful for her. 🥺💃

Finishing Midnight Sun has left me with so many emotions. 😵 Just when the book finally started diving into the parts of the story I was most curious about—Edward’s POV during these critical moments—it ended, leaving me craving more. Meyer did a fantastic job of humanizing Edward in these final chapters, showing us that even a century-old vampire can have teenage meltdowns, moments of doubt, and flashes of humor. 🧛‍♂️✨ I have so much more to say about these chapters, but I’ll save that for another post… or maybe two. Stay tuned for more deep dives into Edward’s surprisingly human moments and all the drama that comes with being a sparkly vampire in love. 💔✨

[7serendipities]

Four Ways to Read Tarot Reversals

A couple of months back, I was doing an in person reading for someone who said they were somewhat new to their own tarot practice, and as I walked them through what I was seeing in the cards we’d laid out, I made a note to also explain some of the “Why”, and that turned into a short explanation of the four ways I usually read reversals, which I thought I’d share here!  And: major shout-out to Lynda Hardy, who gave a presentation on reversals about a decade ago, which really helped me organize my thoughts about them and understand them better, right as I was beginning to branch out and do readings for acquaintances!

I don’t always use reversals – some decks I never let the cards turn upside-down, sometimes I’ll turn the whole deck back upright before drawing, and sometimes I’ll just tell the deck not to bother because I’m going to read them all upright.  When I do use them, though, the first thing I do (as an intuitive reader) is try to feel what kind of reversal it is, by sorting them into one of three broad categories: Delay, Internalized, Shadowed, and Opposite. 

Delay

This kind of reversal means that the standard meaning of the card is still going to happen, but it’s going to take longer than it normally would to come about.  This delay can mean that some cards that are often understood to mean something happening soon or quickly can unfold over a longer period, like Death or the Tower.   In a “past” position in a spread, a delay reversal can either mean a lengthening of the past into the present, or a very long-term past pattern stretching into the more distant past.  This is probably the type of reversal that changes the meaning the least.

Shadowed

Shadowed reversals change the meaning only a little bit more than the delayed type.  For the shadowed meaning, the basic meaning doesn’t really change, but any negatives are emphasized and put front and center, and any positives are downplayed.  Even overtly positive cards like The Sun can be dimmed by a shadowed reversal, becoming a sign of “probable success” instead of a sure thing!  A lot of tarot cards are pretty neutral, but have aspects that can become negative when taken to an extreme, and that’s when I most commonly see shadowed reversals in a reading.

Internalized

An internalized reversal most often means that the conflict in the card is something the querent is feeling internally.  For example, the Five of Wands is usually understood to be about conflict, disagreement, and competition – all external, normally.  If internalized, that card could instead mean that someone is in disagreement with themselves, or that they’re feeling stress from what they perceive as a competition, though the other person doesn’t have a clue what’s going on.  This same kind of internalization can also mean that the actions associated with the swords and the material things associated with the coins/pentacles can become more about the querent’s inner world, their mental states and emotions.

Opposite

Opposite meaning reversals are probably the best known, and they are the type most people are familiar with, and the type that you’ll most commonly find described in the booklet that comes with a deck.  Positives become negatives, endings become beginnings, victories become losses, solutions become obstacles.  In booklets that don’t have keywords for reversals, it can sometimes be a little challenging to come up with opposites, but its important to remember that sometimes the opposite of a neutral thing is just a very different neutral thing.  For example, The Heirophant represents spiritual tradition and religious authority when upright, and the opposites of those two things might be developing new spiritual practices, and a neophyte.  None of those things are inherently negative, but they’re opposites of each other. (And before anyone gets on my case about “religious authority” being negative, yeah a lot of people who claim that title are fairly problematic, but it’s not inherently negative as a concept.  People who actually know the lore and the language/culture well enough to explain it to others are religious authorities as well!  It’s the demand for unquestioning followers that is toxic, and that doesn’t have to be a feature of our pagan religions.)

Hopefully that helps some of you get deeper meaning out of your readings!

Reminder: All of my 12-card or 12-rune spreads, and all of the year-overview and life-overview spreads are on sale in my web shop for approx. 20% off, now through the end of January!  No coupon necessary – the sale price is just listed in the shop.  (And look for a flash sale on all divination at the end of December!)  Make sure you’re shopping on my website, though – I have an Etsy shop as well, but the sales won’t be active there.

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

Apollo Justice Has a Weird Character Arc

It's been on my mind for a long while and I'm pretty sure I'd explode if I didn't at least write my thoughts out, so here goes.

While it isn't a remotely original thought, I've been a little befuddled at how often Apollo's backstory and overarching conflicts seem to change from game-to-game. For context, let's compare him to Phoenix Wright and how their respective trilogies expanded on points from prior games:

Phoenix Wright: AA1 - Trials & Tribulations

The Phoenix Wright Trilogy is pretty tightly written, as far as overarching plots go. Each game has some relation to events from the first game - DL-6/Manfred von Karma, the Fey clan, and Mia's death.

Franziska and Pearl aren't there just because we needed an Edgeworth or Maya replacement; they help further develop the impact von Karma had & the drama behind the Fey clan respectively, both of which were introduced in AA1. Godot isn't there just so we can have another smug prosecutor; he's Phoenix's shadow, an echo of the grief and pain that Mia's death caused, closing the Turnabout Terror's arc by bringing it back to the start.

Most of Phoenix's troubles in the Trilogy are connected in some way to what was set up in his debut; Mia's death, his involvement with the Feys, the Class Trial and subsequent quest to help Edgeworth conquer his inner demons. Heck, even Rise From the Ashes - a bonus case in the DS rerelease - mirrors Turnabout Goodbyes in many key ways. It all comes back to one or more of the elements present in AA1.

Apollo Justice: AJ - Spirit of Justice

Apollo's (unofficial) trilogy is... not nearly as focused. The Troupe Gramarye play a large part in kickstarting the events of AJ, but aren't seen or expanded on in the following game. The most we get past this point is the Magical Turnabout - nice showcase for Apollo and Trucy's relationship, but this was after DD basically ignored AJ and while SoJ was preparing a new conflict for Apollo. There just isn't a lot of room to do anything with it as-written.

Klavier Gavin was set up as a friendly rival of sorts, but he doesn't play a large - or any - role afterward. The next set of prosecutors have nothing to do with anything that happened in AJ either; Simon's there for Athena's story and Nahyuta is more related to Spirit Mediums and the people of Khura'in (a major plot point from Phoenix's games) than anything to do with AJ, along with the whole country-spanning revolution that's going on.

Not to mention SoJ starts because Phoenix wanted to pay Maya a visit (another Trilogy callback) rather than anything on Apollo's part... Apollo only gets roped into Nahyuta's plot after the aforementioned Magical Turnabout, the only Gramarye-related case in as long as an entire game and a tutorial case. 3 years apart from one another.

Hell, Phoenix doesn't even get his dues in relation to Apollo's nonsense. He lost his Beanix persona almost as soon as he got the badge back and slipped comfortably into teasing-but-ultimately-not-problematic Nick again. Which doesn't do wonders for Apollo, who's disillusionment with his idol was so powerful he decked the man in the face. There's nowhere to go from a re-tread of Trilogy Nick compared to his AJ counterpart for either character.

I like some of the ideas Apollo's later stories present. I like the idea of him losing faith in the Wright Anything Agency (since Nick has been a real shady bastard to him) and going out to seek the truth on his own terms. I like the idea of him confronting his origins and how he would react to the knowledge. How he, despite it all, will still help them in their hour of need. It's just that none of these plot points are presented in a way that carries from what was already established.

Losing faith in the WAA? We gave him a new childhood friend you never heard of before who's basically dead before you met him. Confronting his true origins? Well yes, but actually he grew up in a hyper-religious country of Spirit Mediums that has nothing to do with his implied ties to the Troupe Gramarye, other than the fact that Thalassa is his birth mother. Apollo doesn't even know any of this by the end of SoJ anyways! Thalassa is practically a ghost constantly teasing the idea that "hey, maybe tell him he's this wizard's son one day?"

The lad confuses me, is what I'm saying.