#the whole post is so so good i can't pick favorite lines or i'd just repost all of your writing in the tags

[goodnight-goodknight]

The kiss nearly unmakes him; it is so searing, so total and certain as to cause his knees to buckle. He has faced down dragons, rebels, brigands by the score but his legs have never trembled until she kissed him like this. It is a gesture of staggering meaning - giving over what is left to one another after all their prior days have had their bloody due.

She sells herself so short, he thinks, in what muddled thoughts can manifest between the eager attentions of his tongue, catching her bottom lip, seeking out hers for a lover's dance. She tells me she has given so freely of herself that precious little remains - but precious it is, and all the more so for its supposed scarcity. If there is so little of Ciaran left, Artorias would guard that precious core for the rest of his waking days.

"You claim yourself weapon," he breathes, against her mouth. "And yet you kiss me tender. I do not taste blood. Only you, Ciaran."

His hands cup her hips, grasp at the soft curves of her, seek out the swell of her bottom and to pull her closer to him still - claiming, claiming. It isn't empire. It could never be empire, in the way that one dissolves and annexes and conquers. One could not conquer Ciaran anymore than one could catch and hold onto lightning. But it is dominion: the jealously protected expanse of her, gasping as she does under the touch of his hands.

"You claim yourself shadow and yet here you are, flesh beneath my hands, as solid as I," he murmurs. "And I have never known a shadow half so radiant."

The bed lies behind them; Artorias guides her to it, inevitably, inexorably, draping her across the wrinkled covers before he leans down to kiss her again. He cannot get enough of her. It's evident in how his hands have begun to wander in search of more fervent pleasures across her body, sought out places that she wanted touched.

"If you think yourself fractured, I shall gather you to me, Ciaran, and hold you close, and keep you safe," he says, all the craft gone out of his voice, thin-edged as it is with need. He's never been a poet, and what sweet words he has managed to cobble together begin to fray in the heat of their well-stoked desires. "And you me. You have my heart, now."

He presses a palm against where her heart lies, feels it thundering beneath her chest, a steady and heated rhythm made all the more resonant for knowing he has quickened it.

"And you - you are my heart now," he says, quietly. "Please never let me go."

☉ @goodnight-goodknight // cont.

Her face was stripped of its mask, impassive porcelain peeled away like a scale from a fish’s belly. It left her exposed to the breath that beat hot and slow against her freckled cheeks, to the vibration of his words in the air, their reverberance unsettling the delicate balance she had so carefully maintained.

Ciaran allowed him to guide her hand, resting it over the firm slope of his chest. Beneath her touch, Artorias’ chest rose and fell, his heart drumming against her palm as though it beat for only her.

Your wolf.

The phrase clawed at something deep within her, something primal and buried beneath layers of discipline and duty – but still she thought of the liquid dark between stars, of fire-touched portraits. Soot-blotted, burnt-out, paint bubbled and cracked, oil-captured faces spoiled by deliberate ruin. Was she not the same? A being incomplete, hollowed by devotion, by purpose, by the mask she had worn for so long. And yet, here he was, offering her something she scarcely knew how to comprehend. Himself. All of him.

Fingers curled, pressing against his chest as though to test the solidity of him, seeking the heat beneath the armour and gallantry of his words. Under the weight of his confession, her voice buckled, burned to ash. It was not a kiss he sought, not a fleeting connection or a single indulgence. He wanted her. Not as she was trained to be, not as a shadow or a blade, but as a woman – flawed and fractured and aching.

Oh, how marvellously she ached.

“Artorias,” Ciaran whispered at last, her mask slipping. This one not of porcelain, but of poise. “You do not know what you ask.”

Or did he? Familiar, lovesick eyes burned with conviction, with a light so fierce the shadow-shrouded assassin could hardly bear to meet it. It pierced through her like divine radiance, unearthing truths she dared not name – but still she thought of the Abyss, that dark chasm pulling at the wolf-knight with relentless gravity, as though it called to some void within him. Did he not see that same void in her?

You are not whole, an insidious voice whispered in her mind. In this, you are not enough.

Still she wanted him – not just as a lover, but as a possession, as someone to hold and guard and keep, to stitch into her ruinous heartstrings. In turn, she wanted to be his, utterly and irrevocably. The thought terrified her, thrilled her, left her breathless.

“I am but a blade,” she continued, her voice soft and dangerous, her scarred and sun-kissed face mere inches from his. Artorias’ noble head hung low, inviting her to meet him halfway. “A shadow. A creature made for others’ designs. I have given so much of myself that I scarcely know what remains.”

Amber eyes studied him so ferociously it seemed she meant to flay him, but she found no pity there, only understanding.

“But if you are certain,” she murmured, husky voice low and raw, “if you would dare to stake your claim on something so fractured… then take me. Take all of me.”

Even the pieces that might cut him, even the pieces he might choke on.

Ciaran’s breath hitched, the heat of him enveloping her, the nearness of his lips an exquisite agony. Her fingers tightened, gripping a fistful of his fine shirt, her body leaning closer.

“Understand this, my dear Artorias: once you have me, I shall never let you go.”

And then her mouth claimed his. Not in submission, nor surrender, but with a fierce and consuming answer. It was a fire that promised to burn them both, a conflagration born of shared hunger, love and longing.

[pien-art]

-FAQ-

Hello! I've gained a whole bunch of followers lately and I've been getting a lot of questions about commissions, what my setup is, what brushes I use, etc, so I thought I'd make a post about it to answer everyone's questions at once !

Putting them under the cut <3

Commissions:

Commission prices are listed in my pinned post. You can send me a private message about your commission idea and we can get to talking :) It is helpful to have enough references handy (character, outfit, descriptions etc)

I am generally a fast drawer but I also have a job and a physical disability so there might be moments I can't work on your commission. But that is never longer than a few days at most.

Payment is upfront, the full amount and via paypal only. I know this might seem a bit scary but unfortunately there are a lot of people who end up not paying for commissions and I want to avoid that.

During the process I will send you frequent updates and will ask for input, to see if it is going in the direction you want. You can ask for changes during the sketching progress but once I've started on line-art and coloring, no big changes will happen. (You can for example ask for a different color for a shirt etc, but not for a different prop or pose or expression)

When it is completed, I will send the drawing to you via email. The drawing will remain mine and it is not to be sold or profited of by the person who commissioned me. If the commission is for something commercial/for selling, that needs to be discussed. I prefer to do drawings only for personal use!

For more questions, my dms/asks are open :)

How long have I been doing digital art:

I've been drawing digitally for about 5 years now i think? But before that I've been drawing and painting traditionally literally since the moment I could pick up a pencil.

Set-up:

It's just me and my ipad and apple pencil laying on my bed. I wouldn't even know where to begin for those whole multi-monitor/screen setups ;-; I draw only with Procreate

Brushes:

I tend to play with different brushes from time to time to get different textures, but generally i use the same few for most of my drawings/styles. My favorite one is the Peppermint Brush, for sketching. I use it in every drawing i make! I always sketch with it, and often do the line-art with it as well! And it makes for a nice textured brush for rendering as well! (i used it for a lot of rendering of the armor in this drawing)

The (procreate) brushes i use a lot are

for medieval style: inking - Ink Bleed (for line-art) artistic - Quoll (for coloring)

for general style: calligraphy - Chalk (coloring/rendering) sketching - Peppermint (line-art/sketching)

for realism: calligraphy - Shale Brush (full rendering) Also using the shale brush for smudging and erasing when drawing realistic

for lineart: smooth pencil from this pack by Heygiudi

How/why do you choose a base color:

I tend to look at a few different things when deciding on a base color/color palette.

the overall color of the reference pic

the color i associate with who or what i am drawing

the feeling/vibe i want to give off with that drawing

color has a BIG impact on the vibe of a drawing, so it is something i keep in mind when im drawing.

Using a color as a base to start, helps a lot with my drawing process. It helps me pick out other colors so they match better. It helps me get light/dark values right. And the chalk brush i use, has gaps between the strokes, so the base color will always come through a little. Having the same color come through in the entire drawing, helps pull all the colors together if that makes sense? I always start with a solid base color when i am painting traditionally as well!

Advice:

PRACTICE!!! just keep drawing and practice. I know this is such generic advice but truly practice is The Way. Learn from other artists but don't compare yourself to them. Everyone's artistic journey is different and there's no "good" or "bad". And most importantly make sure that you have fun when you're making stuff :3

I also learn a lot by studying art I admire and love. Figuring out what it is I like about it. (for example, the line thickness or the shapes or texture etc), and try to incorporate that in my own style in a way that is not directly copying or stealing.

[baatarthefirst]

@blue-violin- What did I think about The Dragon Prince Season 7? Boy, this is going to lose me followers. On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 4. Yeah, pretty freaking low, lower than season four in my book (I can at least cherry-pick some of my favorite moments of the series in s4. Plus to my understanding s4 was pieced together from their homes during covid - so they get graded on a curve for that one). So remember these are just my opinions. So by Plotlines:

Sunfire plot- disappointing. We spent most of the time watching as they try to save an unrepentant bigot from a well earned punishment. Main plot- a whole lot of build up for nothing. Dark magic Callum? Nope, can't have it. Nova Blade which has been built up since s5, useless. That army of darkness? Barely a speed bump in the final battle with the exception of Avizandum. Aaravos conclusion? He'll be back after these messages. Ezran going through the pain of facing his father's killer...nope. Surprise, he's been alive this whole time as a bird! Villain plot - Actually I liked it a more than the others. Nothing fantastic, but it was actually enjoyable.

By Characters:

Callum: This season made me mad. It's not that he betrays his brother (because he is ethically right) so much as the way he betrays his brother. It's so quick, no hesitation at all, "You don't have to ask"?! Are they serious? Not even a 'I don't want to betray him, but I'll do what I must'? There's a single moment of sadness as they escape, then...honeymooning with Rayla and her fathers (one of which killed his father. I love that the show favors forgiveness, but let the forgiveness feel earned. Show us Callum and Runaan working on forgiveness together. ). I know Rayla is Callum's everything, so I guess everyone else is his nothing? I know they reconcile in the end, but...is it with Callum apologizing and explaining his actions? No, he tells a story to explain why Ez shouldn't stay mad at him.

Ezran: No notes, except the framing. I've made a post before about the music, lighting and camera angles often frame Ezran as bad, like he's starting down a dark path when he's actually being reasonable. Was he wrong to arrest Runaan when he forgave Zubeia? Yes. But things are complicated, just like they were with Harrow's assassination. How is it that 'things were complicated' is an acceptable excuse for Zubeia to put a hit out on a king and innocent child, but not an acceptable excuse for Ez to take a couple of days to cool off a bit? Why is the victim not getting the same consideration as the aggressors? Rayla: Nice line with 'my heart for Xadia', but other than that... just okay? Which is so sad because Rayla was one of my favorite characters in the first arch and it's hard to pin down why this feels so different. It's not her betraying Ez, she's always been impatient, and while I didn't agree with what she did, she was technically right, and it didn't feel out of character...so I have no idea. Claudia: I didn't hate this. She's still got daddy issues she needs to see a therapist for, but she had a few good moments, and her ending wasn't terrible. Aaravos: I liked him, and he killed Karim, which is a highlight of the season for me. I just really hate the cliffhanger mentioned above.

Janai: Same problem as Ez with the framing. Karim is still unrepentant and she finally decides enough is enough, why is everyone in her life showing concern for her because of this? Why does the music, camera angles, and lighting tell me that this may very well be Janai's villain origin story? Amaya: Really hated the 'but he's your brother' line as if that fact didn't make Karim's betrayal all the worse. The interaction between her and Karim makes it seem like she only cares about his life for the sake of Janai's happiness, which I do like. And it was nice to see her finally call out her interpreter for censoring her. Ethari: Glad he got his husband back.

Runnan: ---IN GOOD FAITH AND WITH THE ACKNOWLEGEMENT THAT I MAY BE MISSING SOMETHING HERE--- Where's his racism? We see him reliving the fight with Rayla so it makes sense that he's over that, but we never saw him deal with his hatred of humanity. Where's the guy who told Viren 'only humans can be bribed' and told Rayla 'there's nothing in humans worth sparing'? In a show that makes it clear that the married human/elf couple had to work to get over their upbringing, and even the young hopeful human/elf couple hit a snag here and there (the 'elves drink blood' incident, calling rayla a monster) it's strange that he gets over it without any effort; not even biting his tongue because 'if his daughter likes this one, he must have been wrong about them'. It feels like the show took it's message 'it takes love, trust, and hard work to improve' and threw it right out the window so it didn't hinder the cute domestic scenes.

[wr1t3w1tm3]

The Outsiders a New Musical Cast Recording Reaction

Here you go @its-a-hare-pom-pom

Please note: I do not actually know the voices of who is who. I am having to assume who is who in some of the songs so I'm doing my best. I looked up a cast list for this. This is confusing and I'd need several more listens through to figure out who is and that's probably not gonna happen anytime soon (ya'll fill find out why in a later post).

Also, I curse a lot and there's a brief mention of suicide in my section on I could talk to you all night, so be warned.

Tulsa '67: Interesting how they changed Johnny's jumping to just a week before the events of the musical. I don't mind that change. I kinda like it? Maybe?

Okay. I need to rant a bit here. I grew up just a day's drive from Tulsa in a town not very dissimilar from it. Just switch East and West and you're halfway there. (Meaning in my city the East side was the old money and West was more of everyone else/the new money side of town).

Ponyboy's diatribe about how people get stuck in the town for life hits home for me because, like, of the nearly 300 person graduating class from my highschool, a vast majority of them went to school either in town or within the state. While I'm technically still in the state, I'm right across the river from our neighboring state so the line's a bit funky. I feel his longing to get the hell out. I feel the sort of resentment he feels towards Darry, who could've been a sports star had circumstances panned out differently. I feel his heartache for Soda when he mentions that his girlfriend up and left and broke his heart. My little sister and younger brother are both up-and-coming in similar ways to Darry (albeit a different sport for my sister) and Soda. The only real difference is that my family isn't just above the poverty line. In this economy maybe we're starting to slip down there, but if that's the only difference... shit. I'm in for a ride.

Moving on...

Grease got a Hold: I did watch the performance of this for Good Morning America or whatever it showed up on so this isn't my first time listening. This is the first time I can't tell who is who. I looked up the cast so I think the first singer is Dally? IDK. It's the whole gang except Johnny. This is when I discovered that Steve was in fact a named ensemble character.

Not my favorite song. But I'm sure that it introduces everyone well. I don't mind it, just def my least favorite of the ones I'd heard before.

Runs in the Family: I'm pretty sure it's a Darry song. Shit. I feel this song. I am literally Darry in this song, except I have parents, they're just not around a whole lot due to work.

I think I mentioned here that I work at a Nursing home. And especially during the winter if I worked twelves (luckily I'm PRN, so I can pick up shorter shifts) I'd be in before the sun and out after it. That is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. You feel like you didn't do a damn thing but your so tired you can't do anything so you end up getting down and just scrolling while you eat and you barely have energy to grab something to eat. Had I not been still living at home I would have just gone through a drive through. You are a different kind of tired after a long day of taking people to the toilet and passing meds and working with memory care patients as they sundown.

So while I'm not a roofer, I'm not out every night working till midnight, I think I can relate to Darry the best out of the three here, being an eldest daughter an all especially. I like this song as a character set up, though I have to point out it sounds like he's whining but I also know I've done this so like... I can't complain if I wanna keep my whining privileges.

Great Expectations: This is the first song out, I'm sure we've all heard it. It's about Ponyboy relating to Pip, one of the characters in the book Great Expectations I think by Charles Dickens. I never read it in school I think due to Covid so...

That being said, great song. Still very much relate to him and his wanting to get the hell outta town but feeling trapped by family and obligations. Like I get the kid is only fourteen, and S.E. Hinton was about this age when she wrote this but it is raw and I still feel it.

Come on, we've all felt like everyone expects everything of us and have just wanted to get swept up in a fictional reality where shit is hard but we know everything will be just fine in the end, right? Right?

The line about Darry hits harder after Runs in the Family. His bit about Johnny has always hit me too, because I've always wondered (anxiously, of course) about what my life would've been like had I been born to different parents. And as much as I think about that, pretty sure I'm lucky to have what I have and I'll take it over worse.

Friday at the Drive-in: So there is also a drive in in my city, and I've been several times. I freakin' love it, and it's kind of sad that they're disappearing. This chapter/scene/song has always been a favorite of mine in all Outsiders media. I love Cherry's actress. She's able to do a more country/southern accent without it sounding like a characture. Kudos to her. I'm sure this song is really cool to see in person.

I Could Talk to You All Night: Confession time: I don't like Cherry. I understand that maybe she does have a rough life, but it has always rubbed me wrong the way she told Ponyboy it's "rough all over". Bitch, both his brothers work to keep their house you shut up. Like I went through highschool with my mom hurt, grandpa dying, Covid, a whole lotta other shit and some kid literal told me to off myself b/c I got in his space while practicing a tap number for the musical. Also, I was working through the entire school year. It wasn't terribly uncommon among my peers, but to be in the musical was a sacrifice on my part and we just... we couldn't see under each others skin. My school was on the west side and his family was new money, so I guess he and Cherry are alike in my eyes in that way (even had the same hair, lol). I didn't know what was going on with him and I guess when he broke up with his gf (she was a senior and he was a junior) he got better.

That being said, I really like Cherry's character in this song. They see each other beyond the labels for the first time in their lives. It sort of feels like a love song, but also not so much, and I really dig it. I may eat my words later but I like this version of Cherry. She comes off a lot less snooty than book/movie Cherry. Its so cute.

Runs in the Family (Reprise): Shit. Darry. Okay. The silent oldest sibling burden has fucking snapped. Bro. This is so good. Seeing what all was going on behind his outburst at Ponyboy. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm even more in love with Darry's character. Shit. The oldest sibling being a parent when the parents aren't there. The younger siblings all leading into it. The abrupt stop that is Darry slapping Pony. I wanna scream IT IS SO FREAKINNG WELL DONEOAWE RUH!!!!!! I can practically hear Pony throwing open the screen door and Darry yelling back that he didn't mean it!I@ :OUhoihlacwijhr ;iuaweh' riu

Far Away From Tulsa: Oh, oh Pony. You're innocene it showing honey. This is the one thing I feel I've got on him is that I actually live on the edge of town, so I really live within a smattering farm fields and disappearing small farm towns. Those people will be judgey as hell, they will stalk you anyway possible to get info on you and there will be rumors. Like I love that you two have a dream, but we're getting into Of Mice and Men territory with Lenny and George (is that his name?) with the rabbit farm.

Also, are they changing Pony and Johnny's motivations? Obviously I'd have to watch this but this sounds like they might be changing their motivations a bit.

The transition into Great Expectations!!! The leitmotif!??! The key change?!?!?! HOLY FUCKING SHITHLIUWE RHF AIVCWH TLGIUAWEHCFIUHA. I'm screaming!!!!! But they're dream sounds like a cowboy western fantasy. And the ending where they talk about that not being in Tulsa... realy gives me pause. I think maybe their motivations changed just a bit? BUt IDK cause I'll never get to fuckin' watch this because I am but a poor midwesterner and Broadway is a bitch.

Run Run Brother: Shit. I love this. The little boys coming to Dally. The only one they can trust to know this. This is the loss of innocence in real time. The implication that he gave them all he had (the 50 bucks) is realized here. The song sounds so frantic. Aggggg. It's so good.

The background: if you're not born into money your born into despair? The background singers are great. Grease isn't given its something you earn??? Shit. Run through the fire your bound to get burned? They really like using fire as a symbol (for obvious reasons).

The transition into "You're a Greaser now and you ain't going back?" Like he literally cannot go back. Johnny killed a kid and Ponyboy would be tried as an accomplice probably. Cheezits this is so fucking good! The wrapping back to earlier songs is so freaking well done! The desperation in whoevers voice pointing out the sign to Windrixville? I love.

Justice for Tulsa: Did they come up with a new character? Are there others? Is this the Greasers talking to each other? Immediatly suspecting Dally? So they added the interrogation that he mentions he got brought into.

Is Cherry at Bob's funeral? Honey, he's an asshole. Like I get he could've been cool but gees. I'm torn up about her. They made her way more complicated. So far I'm glad for Dally and Cherry's sake that they added this scene.

Is this Darry or Soda? No. It's a Soc. Is it Randy? Oh I love his voice. Shit, is she grilling him? She's talking about Johnny. Randy. Are they getting onto her for talking with Pony. What she did wasn't wrong? Yeah, it's a senseless tragedy. If you pushed him into it.

So this is the explanation of how they started jumping Greasers and how that tension switched things up. This might be the Act break? But I'm not sure.

Death's at My Door: Is he talking about his parents dying?

Oof. I feel him. So in my life I had a series of deaths where my grandma died, then two years later my grandpa died (different sides of the family), then a kid at my college died going home for winter break. Then a girl from my highschool died going back to school after winter break. Then working at a nursing home every time, I come back someone else is dead. So, I feel that sentiment that it feels like death is following you. But that is just growing up, and I think this is Ponyboy finally sort of coming to that realization a bit.

Are they adding romantic elements to Pony and Johnny's relationships, or is this just really flirty platonic stuff? Because now I'm confused. And I'm someone who does really flirty platonic shit with my friends.

Throwing in the Towel: Oh it's a Darry song. Oh. Darry feels guilty. Shit. Okay. Is he making up with Soda? I'm a bit upset that Soda has been jipped in here. Long list of failures, same here Darry.

Oh. Soda. Soda, ever the middle child. Trying to keep the peace, trying to hype Darry up. Their being the brothers we always knew they would.

There little harmony part is so good!

Soda's Letter: I have heard this one as well. We are finally getting a Soda song!! But still, ever the middle child, trying to keep the peace between the oldest and the youngest. Dammit. I like that they added context to the letter, since it's a bit briefer in the book/movie.

The fade in of Pony singing over Soda is so good.

Hoods Turned Heroes: I love the name on this. I think this is Two-Bit singing this. Interesting that they skipped over the fire incident and Johnny talking to them at Dairy Queen. I like that it's Soda and Two-Bit in this song. I love them as a duo. And I love that we get a Greaser son in response to Justice for Tulsa.

Interesting how they changed it to 1st degree murder for Johnny's charge, because it was manslaughter and I seriously doubt there's enough evidence to even get second degree murder.

Hopeless War: Another Pony and Cherry song. I do like the musical duo of them so far. He's not wrong about the soc's declaring the war. Cherry's also not wrong, but girlfriend, your privelage is showing.

Shit, she got a point about black and white morality. "Same mistake a thousand times" "Doing what we've all been raised to do."

Shit. I like this version of Cherry. This sounds like a country love ballad and I am all here for it. Seems like act 2, like many musicals I've seen, has fewer/shorter songs.

Geez, Cherry. Okay. I still like the Cherry best out of all of them. But girl, you've gotta understand that this kids got more skin in the game than you do. Girl. IDK, this version of Cherry is just more nuanced and I think that's what she needed.

Trouble: The way Hopeless War tansitions into this song is so fucking good!!!!

So I don't know if this is at the park or the Gang going to the park but holy shit. I love this. Is Darry trying to keep Pony out? Or is Dally? Who is telling him not to fight? Didn't book Darry let him fight??!

Little Brother: I have heard this one before as well. It's a Dally song, and it still makes me awe;u hgseruig. This is my favorite version of the Dally and Johnny relationship because it solidifies the brotherhood and the way that Dally see's Johnny. It's done fairly well in the book but the musical makes it much more clear. Even the movie does it pretty well but I like that it's a bit more spelled out here.

I think I've heard all of these last three songs so they'll maybe be a bit more in depth. Also, I am gonna say this now Grease got a Hold is growing on me as I type.

I don't really like how Johnny feels very shoe horned to the side in this version of events.

Is... is someone singing with him on the second little brother in the first chorus? Could that be Darry or am I just trippin'?

I love the way that they show Dally's descent. Oh. There's a chorus on here with him. They put a different version out on YouTube with just Dally on it. Holy shit. Holy shit!!!! I love his voice so much. When are the lyrics gonna be up I gotta see who sings what in here damn it!!!

Dally. Shit. The part where the music strips and then starts building. This will never not give me shivers. I love the orchestration on this version!

The now into no!!!!! ;jfh;ajwerhf;ija uvaiwrhf;aiu3wh I AM NOT OKAY!!!

Stay Gold: This hurts like a son of a bitch still. I can't really put my words on here, but it really is written like someone who knows they're gonna die and they're wanting to give their family a final message. Which is something you can do on hospice nowadays, but wouldn't have been avaliable in the 60's.

Can't believe we had to wait the whole musical for a Johnny solo song. But I love the touch that a man came to thank Johnny for saving the kids, because in the book that's not mentioned and neither in the movie and I like that touch. They added just a few scenes and all were very well done if not honestly needed.

The fading of Ponyboy reading it with Johnny will never not get me. They use this technique so well throughout the musical. But again with me questioning if this is platonic flirty friend shit or Johnny and Pony being romantically involved somehow? I lean towards platonic flirty friends due to the time period and the fact that they're both on the younger side... but geez.

Johnny telling Pony to tell Dally, when we know Dally is dead and Dally asked him to save a seat and just owehtouwaehrt;ouiawe I am not okay. Will never not hurt.

Finale (Tulsa '67): Is this an older Pony on the first line? Does he get out? Or is that his teacher reading it? Like the acknowledgement of Paul Newman.

Oh. This is so sweet, him turning to the hometown heroes, the little everyday ones.

He got out!!!!!! Him talking about Darry and Soda!!

Ah! They took the one paragraph directly out of the book!!!

Dally!!! Wearing grease for their disguise? Holy shit. Bro. You are killing it! Killing it! The chorus entering!!?!?! The excerpts directly from the book!

"He was just to damn good for growing old? And for his memory I'll stay gold!?!?!??!" Holy shit okay. Emotional damage dealt. You didn't have to do that.

I love me a legacy explaning final number. Shit. I love this. Beautiful ending. I love the jazzy bits.

My phone immediatly jumped me to Non-Stop by Hamilton. Fuck you spotify, didn't need that now.

Final Thoughs: Unfortunately, this is not like Hamilton in the sense that the entire freaking musical minus one song that not terribly necessary for context is on spotify. There are chunks of context missing that make me wonder how else they may have changed the story. If you're someone who's first exposure to the outsiders is this, you're gonna be left with a lot of questions. Luckily, you've got a book and two versions of a Francis Ford Coppala movie, but if this was a stand alone I think I'd be leaving the cast recording fairly confused.

I think it's amazing. I did find out while finding a cast list to compare to the featured artists that Steve is still a character. I also wonder if they're gonna release the track they use for the rumble, since I think that's a seperate track with no real singing? IDK man. I wanna see that so fucking bad.

A little mad about how they downgraded Soda and Two-Bit. I know Two-Bit was more of a minor character but it really felt like Soda got the short end of the stick here. Same with Steve, though he already had the short end so it was only a matter of time. Two-Bit makes sense despite my love of him so I kind of expected that.

Overall, I do like this, but it feels a bit incomplete as I believe some of the most critical plot details have been left for portions of the musical that are acted or spoken, which sucks for us broke ass plebs who don't live within driving distance of Broadway.

So long friends.

[outofthemouthsof]

15-Day BL Challenge in 1 Night!

I'm more of a lurker than a poster but Tumblr's my fave place to wallow in BLness. My 2nd favorite place is the spreadsheet where I track the shows I've watched (172 completed in just over a year), so @negrowhat 's challenge was irresistible. I'm gonna cram my answers in one post. Here goes!

Fave OG Actor Pairing: Some of the ones I think of as OG are only like 4 years old, so this was tough. And the 18 shows that have gotten my top score aren't very old. But I went through those 18 and picked the oldest, and it was the 2018 Korean microfilm Some More. Because it's so short it's super rewatchable, but even if I wasn't able to watch the whole thing a half dozen times (which I have), I'd still have gone back & watched the sweet moments and sex scene about 25 times (which I have). So I guess my fave OG actor pairing is Park Chan Ung and Kim Joon Bum! How they got me so deeply invested in their love in mere minutes is beyond me, but they did!

Fave Rookie Actor Pairing: Does Japan do the CP thing that Thailand does? I don't think so, but one couple I wish had about a dozen more BL series together lined up are Kouhei Higuchi and Atsuki Mashiko of My Personal Weatherman! Their chemistry was visceral and they're too pretty to be believed.

Side Dish That Should've Been the Main Course: While I enjoyed the main pairing a lot, they were nothing compared to the crazy rollercoaster side plot (how'd it go from so funny to SO dark to so sexy to so sweet and wholesome like that??) of Vegas/Pete from KinnPorsche!

Fave Ship Dynamic: Obvs from answers 2 & 3 I am not against D/s ships at ALL. Also a sucker for tough-but-submissive-bodyguard with mafia-brat-prince. Honestly I like tons of different dynamics from innocent to toxic, but one that gives me major butterflies is a guy who thinks he's straight but when confronted with the idea of liking another guy, doesn't have a macho freakout or run away, just kind of straightforwardly & sincerely searches his feelings until he figures it out. And then takes care of his baby. Why's that so HOT and sweet? Some of my fave examples: Pete/Ae in Love By Chance, Le Jian/Amber from DNA Says Love You, and Ida/Aoki from My Love Mix-Up!

Biggest Flop: This is expectations vs. execution, right? There's loads of shows I've abandoned, some I've stuck with for no good reason, etc., that are way worse than what I consider my personal biggest let-down. I was so enamored of Perth from LBC that I assumed he could do no wrong, and the bully-to-lover, rich/poor pairings often do it for me. So I guess I just assumed Dangerous Romance would be amazing, and it was REALLY good for a couple episodes. It wasn't the worst thing I ever saw, but so much of it just ... felt ... flat. Very surprising.

Fave Line From Your Fave Series: Well I know my fave series--Cherry Magic Thailand was the most perfect, entrancing, heartwarming series EVER, OMG, it was staggeringly good and stuck the landing in a way few shows have managed. I can't really think of one standout line--the script was so on point & there were HUNDREDS of sweet tingly moments. There were some epic ones in ep11 tho: When Achi says "The voice inside your head is so loud" and Karan (the boldest he's ever been) replies "Don't worry; soon you won't be able to read my mind anymore." (But then clearly uses that power one more time to gain the sweetest nonverbal consent EVER.) Then, Karan: "Do you regret losing your power?" Achi: "I'd regret not loving you." (OMG how I squealed.)

Fave Villain: This was so tough. An over-the-top villain I loved to hate (and an actor I loved from his sweetie-pie green-flag role in SCOY) was obvs Heng Asavarid as Chalothon in The Sign. But an actor who was so excellent at being loathsome and malicious toward the main couple, with just enough of a redemption arc that I didn't totally despise the character by the end (but did hate most of the way through): Park Hae In as Eun Ji (Jae Won's ex) in The Eighth Sense. It was a typical "faen fatale" role but so well done. So a tie between 2 totally different takes on the destructive ex.

The Trope You Hate Except When It's "This Series": OK, "hate" is a strong word for how I feel about the drop-of-rain-makes-you-ill so love-interest-takes-care-of-you trope. It's OK. But holy SHIT is it overused. Holy shit. I sigh resignedly when I realize we're going there. EXCEPT. When P'Phayu goes to visit Rain in Love in the Air when he's sick, and his version of caregiving? Forcibly applying medicine in the form of a rectal suppository. It is so funny, weirdly sexy, very in line with their dynamic (doesn't get in the way of their romance moments later at all), & it shoves a big middle finger up the overoveroverused sick-bed trope.

Most Visually Pleasing Love Scene: Okay, THE scene in The Sign is the clear winner in my & many people's books. But there are so many runners-up: the post-race one in Love in the Air. Just about every one in Pit Babe (both couples) & My Personal Weatherman. (A lot of other faves don't quite qualify as visually or emotionally pleasing--lustfully pleasing should be a 3rd category in this challenge!)

Most Emotionally Pleasing Love Scene: Again, I have a clear winner: Cherry Magic Thailand. So full of emotion, so well deserved, so everything. Sigh. But lots of runners-up: same scene in The Sign, both kissing scenes in DNA Says Love You (tame but soo emotionally satisfying), Ray & Sand's camper reunion in Only Friends, the post-prison love scenes for both couples in Kiseki: Dear to Me, the 1st time in I Feel You Linger in the Air ...

Breakup That Should've Stayed Broken Up: Maybe it's because I try to be choosy in what I watch all the way thru or maybe I'm a big softy who tends to root for every couple no matter how lame. In all my completed shows, I could only think of 2 breakups where I wasn't at all invested in them getting back together (and maybe against it): Tian/Poon, What Zabb Man and Top/Mew, Only Friends.

Wedding You Wish You Had an Invite To: If we're talking weddings that actually appeared in the show, Achi and Karan's in Cherry Magic Thailand, obvs! If it's hypothetical weddings, I'd be desperate to go to one of ANY of the characters in Playboyy! I'd wear a bulletproof vest & bring my own flask of booze, but it would be the trashy chaos-filled social event of a lifetime.

Give 5 Good Boys a Gold Star: Just 5? OK, some I haven't mentioned yet. 1. Shin Woo, Light on Me, 2. Palm, Never Let Me Go, 3. Mohk, Last Twilight, 4. Thun, He's Coming to Me, 5. Neua, Secret Crush on You. Best boys!

The Top 5 Most Sad Boys: I'll limit it to ones where the suffering was kinda pretty, not just painful. 1. Way, Pit Babe, 2. Akk, The Eclipse, 3. Kaipa/Gaipa, Moonlight Chicken, 4. Hae Bom, Cherry Blossoms After Winter, 5. Kiyoi, My Beautiful Man

Bestest Besties: Just one? Gah! Fine, Pearl & Gavreel in Gameboys. She got those boys together in quarantine!

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

Zuma Appreciation Week - Day 5 (Skipping day 4 because it'll be posted later some other day), Favorite Outfit

Okay, THIS ONE I won't make art for it because I need to focus my still very limited time of using my laptop for other urgent commissions (got another tattoo to draw for and a whole wedding card to design!). Too bad I couldn't buy my second laptop earlier, it won't be here until the 18th and that's just the ETA, it might be delivered later (or sooner, hopefully).

I also don't have a favorite Zuma outfit. I swear I went through the entire list like seven times since when I first came up with the prompts ideas and I still can't pick...

So I'll make a top 5. No specific order.

Ready Race Rescue racing suit is of course one of my favorites. I always loved racing sports, I'm not an expert but I enjoy it and have fun watching. I still need to get the chance that Brazilian Paramount FINALLY put this special up in their list, to finally watch it in the Brazilian Portuguese dub - and have my dad watch it too, I got my love for racing sports from him XD

The First Movie outfit is really cool in my eyes too. It doesn't go too far from the classic one, but still has that cool factor, y'know? Plus I love glowy/neon lines, it totally won me over instantly.

With that mentioned, I can't go about glowy lines without including the Mighty Movie powered up suit! FOR ME, THIS IS LIKE GIVING ME A WHOLE SEASONED SALAD BOWL, I'll eat it up like it's the most delicious thing in the world-- This glowy suit feeds my glowy-lover soul, excellent feast 😂👌🏽

And they managed to work ORANGE glow, it's so easy to go a tiny bit overboard and it suddenly becomes red or yellow... Trust me, it's hard to get a good orange glow on things!

Can't leave the Aqua Pups diving suit out of this top 5 ever either, for the same reason!! It has the absolute glow-in-the-dark vibe I love so much, I really wish we'd get to see more of Aqua Pups. It felt like a step further from Sea Patrol, now going fully underwater deep ocean, AND GLOWY SUITS LIKE THEY'RE SOME KIND OF BIOLUMINESCENT CREATURES, I LOVE IT--

And finally, Big Truck Pups! I love their trucker uniforms SO MUCH. They're simple, yet with a nice cool factor, the jackets look awesome, all their colors going really well with the black shirts and gloves, plus the trucker caps! When I get to work on my Zuma looks, one of them will totally be inspired on his trucker outfit and I'll make sure to get a cap and customize it like his trucker one (I want the Sea Patrol cap too). Nickelodeon is totally missing on offering these caps as official products, I'd make sure to buy originals no matter HOW if they would just do that.

AND LAST AS AN HONORABLE MENTION: First movie re-imagined classic outfit!

Not gonna lie, I like it better than the show's classic one XD It's technically the same, but a little bit more worked/detailed, which I like it a lot. I like getting to see details on things!

[subwaytostardew]

Hello! I’ve been following this mod for a little while now and I want to say!! How absolutely impressed and blown away how amazing it is!! The story and world building is so much fun! And the sprites and the amount of effort you put in each animation is phenomenal! The pokemon look so good and I adore how you made emmet and Ingo’s walk cycles different, and just the! Writing and seer amount of programming done is just! Amazing! Super bravo! You two so clearly but so much thought into (1/?)

First off, I'd just like to say thank you for taking the time to type out all your messages! It really means a lot whenever we get feedback like this!

Kade is brilliant on the world-building aspect of things and coming up with ideas... She sent me a whole google doc with a draft of their schedules a day after I managed to get Emmet in game. Really helped give this project a sense of direction!

I wasn't too confident regarding writing and pixel art at first, but having her take charge with scripts really helped me stay on track towards a higher state. After so many events, I feel like we have a good idea as to how to write their characters. Making Emmet's sprite first did make Ingo's a bit of a pain to draw (since he does not walk like that) but I'm glad I committed to the bit from day one.

I've been staying up late (I get too excited working on the mod...), but I'm making sure to sleep in to account for that! It'll be a while until we get around to releasing platonic versions of their routes (don't get me wrong, it's first on our patch priority- especially since so many people following this are aromantic! We just still have a long way to go regarding the base mod.), but I'm glad what we have is still enjoyable for now. Emmet's part of Ingo's 10 heart event is still one of my favorite things I've written. It wasn't in the original draft and was only added in during the coding phase, but everything is constantly evolving!

As for Chandelure and Ingo, they can understand each other, just not in the way the farmer can understand Pokemon. We actually discussed the logistics and capabilties together but I don't believe we've ever published it in a post. The farmer understands Pokemon as if they were recieving instant translations to English from the noises they "speak". Farmer has a bit of telepathy in a sense because sometimes, they're just making noises, but they can read their thoughts in words. (When writing Joltik, I don't actually have any text in my head... it's just babbles of "bah" and "wawwawawawawa" in my head. Baby noises.) Farmer also has an absurd ability to eavesdrop, so they can just tell if a Pokemon is thinking/saying anything.

Ingo and Chandelure have their souls bonded, but Ingo can't quite decipher what Chandelure's chimes mean exactly in words. He reads her through a mix of tone, how her flames burn, charades, and any visions she transmits into his mind through active effort. In the tunnel, she's just transmitting what she wants to say into the farmer's mind. Ingo can't pick up on that. When Chandelure communicates with Ingo, she has to will his perception, and it's only in images. If Ingo had the image of hand-holding with his crush flashed into his mind, he would just get flustered and eventually assume it's his imagination running wild again. He does get caught up in his ideas, so Chandelure can easilly gaslight him into believing it's his own train of thought rather than her fault.

In that same line of thinking, Chandelure could convince him that he's super down bad for the farmer with enough suggestions since she kind of wants to win a bet with Grandpa saying that they'll get married in three years. Ingo feels haunted about having a crush for a reason.

▷ Station Steward Thylak

[coraniaid]

There's so many good ones so I wanna ask one more! (Feel free to ignore of course!) Fuffy + 91. "I can't breathe." Happy writing! (Tbh I am team full season rewrite tho if/when you feel up to it! 😂 I'd love to see another! You did so incredible with the first one)

You sent this prompt in months ago, I know, but ... uh, better late than never?

(This is canon compliant and set in late Season 3, so I hope you like angst.)

In her whole short life leading up to today, Faith's only ever memorized four phone numbers.

The first of them was the phone number of the tiny apartment she’d lived in with her mother ever since she was a kid.  The dismal too-small box back in Southie that she’d spent years dreaming of escape from. Not that she ever had any reason to call that one, or to invite anyone else to call her either.  Unlike some people, she didn't exactly have a fawning little gang of sycophants and hangers-on to arrange late night gossip sessions with. 

She used to have to give that number to teachers though sometimes. Before she was smart enough to just take the hint and drop out of school entirely.  They used to demand it after summoning her to some principal’s office or some classroom for after-school detention, then get pissed at her when nobody answered.  As if it were Faith’s fault her mom was too busy enjoying the drinking and passing out parts of life to pick up the phone.  As if she’d ever asked for her to do that.

(Hell, maybe if she’d just asked her to carry on drinking herself to death then her mom would’ve stopped.  God knows she’d never given Faith anything else she’d ever asked for.)

Anyway, that was one number she could go ahead and forget.  Good riddance to that.

Then there was Diana's number. Diana Dormer.

Diana was her first Watcher, and – in every way that mattered – her last Watcher too.  Snobby Rupert Giles had only ever looked at her like she was a cheap, flawed copy of his favorite golden Slayer, and lying Mrs Post had only ever been using her to get her hands on that stupid glove, and that jailbait-chasing creep Wesley was somehow worse than both of them put together. But Diana had been okay.  For a Watcher, anyway.  She’d been all right. 

Diana had given her her number early on, shortly after she’d first invited Faith to stay at her place.  "In case of emergencies," she'd said gently.  “Or if you just want to talk.”  

Faith had never known when to use it.  Never been sure what Diana wanted from her until it was too late to ask.  Her Watcher's house had been real nice, the few times she’d gone round to visit, but she'd worried that there was some kind of trick she wasn’t spotting, some strings attached that she’d not be able to escape.   So however much she’d wanted to, she'd never actually called her on it.  Not really.  

She'd rung the number once, for the first time and the last, only after Diana died.  When even a stupid little kid should've known it was way too late.  Driven by some weak childish impulse on a very bad night, after a string of at least a dozen bad nights, when she was already halfway across the country.  It rang and rang and rang and however long she waited nobody had ever answered.  

Well, what had she expected to happen anyway?  Diana was dead and she’d not been good enough to stop it and no amount of wishing would ever change that.

She could probably go ahead and forget that number too.

The Mayor had given her his number, as well, last of everyone. “Saving the best till last as usual, are you Faith?” he might have asked her, beaming at her in his office over another plate of cookies.  (The Mayor hated crumbs and mess and disorder, that wasn’t a secret, but somehow he never seemed to mind her eating at his desk.)

It was his private office number, direct line.  Not the one most people had to call.  The real one: the one Trick had used, and Mr Finch, and maybe some other dead losers Faith had offed without knowing it.  That was good. it meant he trusted her, that she was useful to him.  That she was safe.  She didn't think she'd ever call him on it either though.  What if she said something stupid and pissed him off?  What if he decided he could do better?

Mayor Wilkins wasn’t Diana.  The Mayor wasn't all right. Not really. He was a monster, and a killer, and he was wicked gross. Only … he was on her side, wasn't he? He’d set her up in this place, hadn’t he? A little nicer than that dump of a motel she’d been left to rot in.  He’d given her a chance.  He got her, the way nobody else in this town did.  The real her.  After all, she was a monster too.  Everyone knew it.  She belonged, with him, in a way she’d never belonged anywhere before.

Use it or not, she'd be hanging onto his number for a while.  It wasn’t as if she had a choice.

And then there was the third number.  The one she didn’t want to think about.  The most important number.  Her number.  Buffy Summers’s number.  The Buffy Summers, the one Diana had told her about almost a year ago. The one Faith had known about, somehow, even before that, the face she’d glimpsed in her dreams the night before she’d woken up stronger and stranger and different than before.

The other Slayer – the real Slayer, Faith supposes, the good Slayer – had given her number to Faith herself on her third night in Sunnydale, after the big fight with Kakistos.

They’d been hungry, after dusting that old monster.  Both of them.  Starving.  And, maybe, they'd both been feeling something else.  Something that Faith had been sure she’d seen, deep in Buffy’s eyes, that very first night they’d met.  A feeling she’d never been able to talk about it with anyone else, because they wouldn’t have been able to understand.  The feeling she’d always gotten after a good slay.  The high that kept her going, night after night, vamp after vamp.

They were hungry, but the only place open that late at night was a crappy little diner a few blocks away from the vamps’ old hideout.  It had been nearly deserted when they’d shown up, no other customers at all, and for a minute Faith had been worried they’d be turned away.  She probably would’ve been, she thinks, if she’d been on her own.  Something about her just had that effect on people.  She was trouble, she was a problem, and it was like everyone could smell it on her.  Like a stink she couldn’t ever wash away.

But she’d been with Buffy, Sunnydale’s golden girl, and nobody in the world had ever known how to say no to her.  That was why, not long after arriving, they’d been sitting together squashed up at a little plastic table, a table piled high with more burgers and fries and milkshakes than Faith had seen in one place for a long time.  More food than she’d ever had since she’d lost Diana.

Buffy might have claimed to crave nothing more than low-fat yogurt back when she was with her friends, but Faith hadn’t bought it.  No way that could be true.  And that night, when it was just the two of them, Buffy hadn’t bothered to pretend.  She’d torn through the burgers almost as fast as Faith, almost as if she didn’t have a mom at home who’d stay up late waiting for her and cook her hot food any time she asked.  Almost as if she was as empty inside as Faith was.

At one point, she’d looked up at Faith, mouth still slightly smeared with sauce, and Faith had had the weirdest feeling.  Because, fuck, this was Buffy Summers, the girl she’d dreamed about being the first night she was Called.  This was the girl whose death she’d lived through in her nightmares, just like she’d lived through a second death bleeding out on the library floor at some vampire’s feet, and falling through the air to the ground far below, and hundreds of other deaths before that.  

Buffy Summers, who Diana had told her stories about as if she were some kind of fairy tale.  Buffy Summers, who she’d dreamed about again as she fled across the country, running for her life, not knowing where else she could turn to.  Buffy Summers, who’d drowned but lived to joke about it, who’d never lost a fight, who blew up demons with rocket launchers and was really real.  Who was real and alive and warm and sitting so close to her, and who – even disheveled and dirty after a fight, even with fading bruises on her arms and ketchup stains on her fingers – was the most beautiful girl Faith had ever seen in her life. Buffy Summers, who was like her, but better.  Perfected.  Perfect.  

She’d looked up at her, and Faith had felt her heart lurch in her chest in a way that had nothing to do with all the greasy junk food they were eating.  And for the first time in the longest time, she’d dared to let herself hope that maybe everything was going to be okay.

If things had been just a little different back then, if Buffy had given her just the smallest, slightest sign, Faith thinks she might have kissed her right then and there.

Not a quick kiss on the forehead, like she had after their big fight back in Angel’s mansion, but a proper kiss.  The sort of kiss a girl like Buffy deserved.  Romantic.  Slow and deliberate.  Gentle and soft and forgiving  in a way that Faith could never make herself be.

But things hadn’t been different.  They never were.  Everywhere you went things were always exactly the same forever.  Buffy had glanced away; a tired-looking waitress had shown up to ask if they were going to be done soon; the moment had slipped out of her fingers, unseized.

So Faith had just helped herself to the last few fries on Buffy’s plate when she was almost finished, smirked at her with her mouth full when the other girl protested, then left her to foot the bill and made her way alone back to her motel room.

Alone.

She’d been alone for months, out on the wrong part of town, and nobody had cared.  Not really.

Giles had come round to see her once, much too late, almost a week after she’d arrived in Sunnydale.  He’d looked over the place, peering over his glasses, barely managing to hide his distaste, and asked her haltingly if she was looking for somewhere else to stay.  Well, nice try.  Faith wasn’t about to fall for that one.  What was he going to suggest: putting her up in the spare room in his place?  Out of the goodness of his heart, or something? How dumb did he think she was? 

“I’m five by five here, G-man,” she’d smiled insincerely, almost as keen to see the back of him as he obviously was to leave.

You couldn’t trust guys, even older guys who seemed okay at first.  Even guys you were supposed to be able to trust.  Especially not those guys.  Faith wasn’t naive enough to think otherwise.  She hadn’t been that naive for a very long time.

Buffy had come around to see her a few times, too.  Not so much after they’d fought over Mrs Post’s glove – well, to be fair, Faith hadn’t exactly wanted to see her then either –  but a couple of times.  The last time was just before Christmas, when Buffy’s mom had guilted her into inviting Faith over for the night.

She might have kissed her that night, too.  She might have, if she could’ve gotten away with it.  Found some way to play it off as a joke.  Lurked around the mistletoe and surprised her with a shy and furtive peck on the cheek at the stroke of midnight.  She might have kissed her, if that damn vampire hadn’t shown up to ruin everything.

As it was, Buffy hadn’t even hung around to open Faith’s crappy little presents.  She hadn’t even cared.  Just abandoned Faith again, the way everyone else did.  Left her to guard her mom like she was some kind of dog.  Like she was a stray she’d briefly felt sorry for and invited into the warmth for a night, only to regret it when she realized how flea-bitten and mangy and disgusting she truly was. 

She always thought she was better than you, Faith reminds herself angrily, hating the way she always forgets. Right from the beginning, and you never ever let yourself see it.

Sometimes she still thinks about calling her, even now.  What for, she isn't sure.  It's not like they were ever friends, is it?  Not really. Buffy was just using her, same as everyone else. She gets that now, even if she'd never wanted to admit it.  There was no way Buffy had ever been going to let her into her life for real.  There was no way Buffy was going to admit that they were alike.

Still, she thinks about it, some nights.  Most nights.  She’s been thinking about it tonight.

It’s idiotic.  She’s idiotic.  She’s embarrassing herself again.  it's just like Red had told her, back in the Mayor's office.  It's too late, it's way too late.  She knows that.  She’s known it for a while.  She’s not a stupid kid anymore.

Only … she’s never going to get another chance, is she?  One way or another, it’s all going to be over soon.

It's well after midnight when she finally screws up the courage to pick up the phone.  Not long to go until graduation day now.  Not long to go until the Mayor's big ascension.  This town will get what’s coming to it, and so will Buffy Summers.  And so will she.  Everything will be different.

"Willow?" Buffy says sleepily on the other end of the line, when Faith finally has the guts to dial her number.  "Is that you?  Are you okay?"

Faith feels herself scowling at the mention of that little witch's name, the smile she’d not been able to stop when she heard Buffy’s voice curdling on her face.

Red.  That smug little witch.  Of course Buffy would ask about her.  Of course Buffy would choose her over Faith, again and again.  Willow’s not a Slayer.  She isn’t like them, she isn’t important.  She’s soft and weak and shy and coddled and she’s got a family and a house and a future.  She doesn’t need Buffy the way that Faith needs her.  Why can’t Buffy see that?

Too late, she realizes how long it’s taking her to answer.  Now Buffy's getting impatient. Sounding a little more stern.

"Who is this?  What do you want?"

Faith freezes.  The little script she’d pieced together in her mind all evening fades into gray nothingness.  What does she want?  Forgiveness, maybe.  Absolution. For somebody else to really see her and agree that this was the only way that things could go.  That, really, none of this was anybody’s fault.  Or maybe she just wants a chance to say goodbye.

I should have kissed you, back then, she thinks.  That night after we dusted Kakistos.

She can see in her mind exactly how it would have played out. Like a scene from a movie – not one of those grainy black and white flicks she used to watch on the broken television in the motel after patrol, but a real movie, on the big screen, so bright and colorful and sharp and real that it almost hurts to look at.

You'd have tasted sweet, but just a little salty, between those fries you were demolishing and the specks of strawberry milkshake waiting on your upper lip.  You’d have tasted just like I imagined, all those summer nights on the run.  And afterwards … afterwards, you’d have gone all shocked and wide-eyed for a second and neither of us would've said anything. Then you'd have turned all pink and protested and pretended you hadn’t been into it at all, and maybe you’d not have talked to me again for weeks and weeks afterwards.  You’d probably have been weird about it for months.  

But I think it would’ve been worth it.  To show you. Who I was, and who you were.  To take what I wanted, just for a moment.  To have what I was sure we both wanted, deep down.  What we both needed.  To know that I was right, and that the two of us were the same.  To taste it.

And now it's like ... it's like I'm drowning, like I can't breathe.  I’m in that quarry the kids used to fool around in, back in Boston. I’ve jumped in from way up top like always, only something’s gone wrong. I'm stuck. I can’t get out, I can’t even move, and I'm waving for help but nobody can see me.  Nobody wants to see me.

It’s just like it was back then, after I failed Diana, except I know nobody’s going to take my hand and drag me out this time.  I know there’s nowhere left for me to run, and no other Slayer I can trek across the country to find is going to save me.  I know the only way out is down into the dark.  The only thing left to do is let the water in and drown.

Faith opens her mouth.  Hesitates again, for the last time.  Buffy doesn't give her another chance.

"I don't know who you are or how you got this number, but I know this isn't funny," the other girl whispers furiously.  "It’s the middle of the night and I’m trying to sleep.  Don't ever call here again."

The line goes dead before Faith can say a word.

[synobun]

One of them tag games

So I wasn't actually tagged by @cour5t in this, but I was tagged by @rosewinterborn in a very similar game, so I'm stealing the first and pretending it's the second, since the second had a few questions that didn't apply to me x)

Last song: I'm gonna do the last song I've had on repeat for this!

Favorite color: I never know what to say for this. Black? Dark red? Dark purple? Dark green? That whole colour palette is the bomb dot com.

Last movie/show: The last movie I watched that was new was Nimona! It was fantastic, 10/10 lives up to the hype. The last show I finished was Reacher. It was okay.

Next on my watchlist: I've finally started watching Criminal Minds, but I'm already kind of burning out on it midway through season two. And there's still like 300 episodes left. Ridic. I should probably catch up on Foundation and For All Mankind. Next movie is the cartoon version of Mulan!

Last game: Prey! I did a replay of Doom 3 a while ago and mused that the horror story-game genre should be revived, and then on a whim I decided to play Prey without knowing anything about it. And it's the exact kind of game I was talking about. It's pretty good.

Last book: Rebirth of the Sigil by Peri Akman. It was disappointing. :/ Especially since I know what the author is otherwise capable of. I had the same thing happen with John Gwynne recently as well.

Sweet/savory/spicy: Savory, I think? I don't have an instinctive sense of what savory is. Google says it's a meaty taste, and I rely heavily on protein, so I guess that. I have a pretty low tolerance for sweetness despite liking sodas and such. I don't like most desserts or can only eat a tiny amount. Spicy is alright but my digestive system disagrees.

Relationship status: *vague gesturing*

Last thing I searched online: The hours for my pharmacy to see if it was too late to pick up my medication.

Current obsession: I am generally not an obsessive person when it comes to, like, interests and activities. But I am an obsessive person when it comes to thoughts and emotions. Lately I've been struggling a lot with thinking about eternity. It has not been fun. On a lighter note, I have also been thinking more regularly about writing. Perhaps someday that will translate into action!

Greatest flaw: How much time do you have? This is actually something I have difficulty answering, because the line between something forced upon me and something that is actually inherent to me is blurred a lot of the time.

I think I'd say how I behave when I'm spiraling mentally. I close off and disappear from almost everyone in my life. Occasionally I can keep up appearances with one group but not the rest, but by and large I become a ghost. When I am in a conversation during those cycles, it's crazy how badly I'm affected. I don't become cruel or mean toward others, but my speech becomes jilted, I can't make eye contact, and I am just devastatingly hateful against myself.

It's partly why I isolate, so that I don't have to expose others to that behaviour. It happens on a yearly basis though, and it can last for weeks at a time, so it has a pretty negative impact on my relationships. I also have no idea how to navigate being in one of those moods while part of a relationship where daily contact is an expectation. When I was part of a romantic relationship, instead of having one big prolonged dip, I would fade in and out of it. A couple weeks good, a couple days bad. Rinse and repeat. Awful. Terrible. Annoying. There's almost no predicting when it'll happen either.

Fic I’m currently reading: I rarely read fics because I have no patience for wading through wish fulfillment, horny writing, and "He would not fucking say that" fics, so there's only one that I vaguely keep up with. My friend has a Mass Effect fic, which can be found here. It focuses on femShep(/Kaidan) and Tali(/Garrus) and is post-ME3.

-----

I tag anyone who sees this and actually made it to the end, tbh. But for sake of poking, I tag @rosewinterborn with this variant, and also @deadlyessencewhispers, @tananaphone, @stupid-elf, @carrotblr, @atinydroid, @imtryingx, and, uh, uh... I don't know... let's see... @kkshowtunes, @d3viantvanguard, and @awritingcaitlin. I probably just tagged everyone who follows me. Anyway thanks bye

[piease-iove-me]

all. of. them

hiiii thank you 🥺🥺

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

mmmm absolutely that one jibaro inspired thing i write this September? i love that baby so much :')

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

yes!!! it's something i started years ago and then dropped. but always think about:') it's got mercenaries and familiars and a whole gang of idiots stuck in one place :')

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

omg absolutely those who mention lines from the chapters OR even better when people go on and on about plot points and characters 🥺 just make me smile so incredibly wide

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

omg idk?? i honestly always scream about it to someone/everything when I'm in trouble 🥹🥹🥹

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

mmmm everything???? mostly I'm just afraid it's not good enough but isn't that just how it is to post and put something of yours out there

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

oh uh... answer to both would be me, in all honesty:') my brain mostly

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

oh god that's a tough one. wishfully i can say it's nice enough to pass general approval????

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

wordy. it's wordy. but ever-evolving

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

i don't really know how to???

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

idk depends? lately I'd say the writing itself and characters rather than the plot

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

mmm as i said, my first dd which got lots of support 🥹

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

mmm omg mind blank. maybe all in some kinds? but not necessarily in a bad way

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

yes😓 there's this heavily dd fic I'm writing with a friend's help that's such a challenging thing to write. i actually had to take a break from it because it often took me in a bad place mentally and i really can't do that rn

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

omg... i can't find anything good to say about them. they're so old all i wanna do is orphan it😭

🍭why did you start writing?

for funsies? just to see if i could pull it off, still trying to understand if i can, actually but it's fun

💎why is writing important to you?

oh ig because it became a way to escape everything? and to throw in all that's going onb

📡why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

oh god idk? don't think it is djhdhd

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

a whole snoozing week 🥹

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

oh uh idk? doubt any is good enough for that but if i had to pick one maybe that one jibaro inspired fic? I'm particularly fond of that one

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

oh i guess i feel lighter? as in it's my own way to get rid of everything going on in my mind so good therapy

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

yes!! but i do understand when it doesn't happen. no big deal

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

oh god... i know it's important to create a following and it's great to have amazing support from the fandom but sometimes it adds up and turns into pressure for expectations so awful for anxiety. i think there's the need to find balance but I'm personally still struggling with that. so what i can do is take occasional breaks from everything as self-care

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

oh uh actually nothing? i just shrug it away. it's okay

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

_ “As long as she does her job, I don’t need us to like each other.” And his eyes drift to Scott, staring back at him already.

Theo holds his gaze—taking in the disappointment turned discomfort—and then lets himself stand.

“You’re gonna be a team, Mr. Raeken,” he hears, but is already turning around from the table. “You will want them to like you out there.” _

[welcometogrouchland]

luz noceda for the ask game

Anon you caught me right before I was Abt to go to sleep but I can't not do this. It's for my girl (feel free to send me more while I sleep btw these r fun)

favorite thing about them: LITERALLY WHERE DO I EVEN START. She's one of my top ten protagonists of all times. I love the lessons she learns, the way she learns them, I love watching her grow and struggle and thrive. I love her so so so much. To keep things simple(ish) I will say that my favorite thing about Luz (which I've mentioned once or twonce before) is that she's an objectively cringey, very ND coded kid who's still given the utmost love and respect from the narrative. She gets to be objectively fucking uncool and this story still loves her. And it's nice it makes me feel loved by proxy

least favorite thing about them: I mean, I'd say in season 1 it's the tendency to flatten the boiling isles and it's people into 2 dimensional tropes for easily comprehension, but that's also one of my favorite flaws of Luz and the narrative always makes an interesting point out of this attitude. Maybe it's the suicidal ideation bc it really scared me the first time I watched thanks to them. I knew nothing bad was gonna happen (within reason), this is Disney, but I was like DAMN THEY'RE GOING THERE!!!

favorite line: okay I actually cannot in good conscious choose one bc my friend once informed me that me and Luz just. Talk the same. Same silly idioms and phrases same whimsical expressions and syntax same humour, etc etc. It's a chicken egg situation and do not know who started it but I know that it's frighteningly accurate. So I'll just go for the safe classic "the only thing I've ever really wanted was to be understood" bc. Y'know. Best moment in the whole show and everything

brOTP: LUZ AND HUNTER DREAM TEAM I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH!!!! OH MY GOD. Close second is Willow tho

OTP: you guys already know I'm here for lumity but I will let you guys in on the fact that when I first watched the show and was still on the early episodes of season 1 where Amity is a dick I was firmly on team willuz. I still love them <3

nOTP: Luz and Hunter. It's just really not for me, even if I can see why it appeals to others. I'm too attached to the familial reading of their dynamic and the doors that opens up analysis wise. Also my irl brother is a hunter kinnie and I just outlined my credentials for being a Luz kinnie so /j

random headcanon: she played guitar when she was younger! The one in the basement belonged to Manny and he'd sit her on his lap and show her simple chords and riffs. She got a ukulele so she could practice. Then when Manny died she fell off playing it bc it felt wrong doing it without him, even though she still played uke sometimes. She picks it back up though during the season 3 timeskip and post canon! Also she was born in New York and lived there til she was 2/3, at which point she moved around a few states until landing in Connecticut at the age we see in the thanks to them video diaries (I wanna say 7 or 8?)

unpopular opinion: I also think Luz gets characterized as more bitter/vengeful/surly than she really is, especially in fics set around season 3. She wants to be happy, to have fun with her friends, she just feels like doesn't deserve it. Also I low-key think Luz is like. A genius. Just in an unconventional way. She rediscovered a lost form of magic and then taught herself it all on her own. She probably struggles with long division but I mean it when I say she is literally a genius imo

song i associate with them: TOO MANY TO NAME MAN!!!! LITERALLY!!!!! The ones on my brain rn are sweet hibiscus tea by penelope scott, underground and life on mars by david bowie, people pleaser by yet to bloom, towards crescent park by bad moves and fine, great by modern baseball

favorite picture of them

Tie between the iconic "to be understood" frame (boarded by Emmie Cicierga) or like. Literally any Dana art of her but specifically the "see you in 2023" gif cycling through all of luzs most iconic fits. I love both of those sm

[tiffanylamps]

Tag game to better know you

Thank you @katierosefun and @ettelwenailinon for tagging me! You're both so sweet to think of me for this :) what book are you currently reading? i suck at sticking to books, but at the moment, I'm making my way through Vermeer by Norbert Schneider. Vermeer is one of my favourite artists, so I enjoy reading about his work. (The Milkmaid is my favourite painting of his).

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? i don't thiiiiiiink I've been to the cinema this year. But my favourite film I've seen this year is The Merciless (2017).

what do you usually wear? during the hotter months, it'll be shorts and tank top, but only if I'm at home. Outdoors, I tend to wear high neck tops, trousers, skirts, dresses, and a jacket (if it's not too hot). I much prefer cooler months because I like to hide behind an oversized jacket/coat lol. Basically, smart casual, nothing short or too low cut.

how tall are you? 5'10", baby!!! Sometimes a bit shorter, sometimes taller. It depends on... idk... stuff. things.

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? i'm an Aries (with a Leo sun and Gemini rising 🙃🙃). I share my birthday with Bette Davis and Hayley Atwell, so not too bad. Ah! I also share my birthday with my granddad. As for historical events, it mainly involves historical figures returning home, the Mayflower returning to England, Europeans discovering Easter Island- things of that nature. But an actual cool one is that the first performance of Beethoven's 2nd Symphony in D took place in 1803 on me birthday

do you go by your name or a nickname? my nickname. I HATED my name when I was a child and I wouldn't let anyone refer me to do it. The only person who has consistently called me by my actual name is my sister. I'm now over the reasons why I didn't like it back then. My only gripe with it now is that it sounds very similar to a more popular name, so people mishear my name all the time.

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? nahhh. When I was about 3 or 4, my sights were on becoming a dog in my future... I am yet to figure that one out without putting on a fursuit or committing crimes against god, man, science, and one's own good taste.

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one? i am. it's mine and my boyfriend's 9-year anniversary at the end of the month. i do have many crushes, which are mainly for every pretty woman i see lol

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at? i think i'm pretty good at analysing and dissecting things that interest me, it can be a piece of media or a topic of debate/conversation. i am bad at maaaaaany things, one of them is being a friend to myself

dogs or cats? both, duh!! i have a cat at the moment, but i do wish to have a dog in future (and maybe 3 cats in total lol)

if  you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite  picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this  year? probably the entire second chapter to my vampire fic. yeah, sorry, i can't pick out a particular line, i like the whole chapter ngl

what is something that you’d like to create content for? i'd like to finish my beyond evil projects 😭 and maybe write something for the merciless. (i do have gifs for the merciless that are just sitting in my drafts, waiting for me to feel confident enough to post them lol)

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with? playing the sims 4 and listening to the rotten mango podcast as i play. that's how i spend most of my evenings lol

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? jfc i was about to say something so emo. i'll go with more light-hearted examples instead. uhm, the f1 drivers' and constructor's championship standings (it's not over yet, but it's pretty obvious who is going to win 😒). the new taylor swift + hayley williams song. the final season of ted lasso (i love that show, but the ending was a bit naff).

what’s a hidden talent of yours? hm, it's too rude for tumblr

are you religious? nope! i grew up as a jehovah witness in a pretty strict household. although now that i'm older and i look into other people's experiences within that cult, i can see that i got lucky with my parents. they let us kids do things that were against the rules, but that still didn't stop me from sustaining a bit of religious trauma and internalised homophobia 😤 i'm still salty about my religious upbringing.

what’s something you wish to have at this moment? money, direction, a different place to live (preferably nicer/bigger), and for my cat's x-rays and blood work not to come back with anything too serious

anyway, i hope my answers weren't too boring haha. much love! no pressure tags: @l-tyrell @loisroo @hanjuwonsupporter @sensazioneultra

[galgali]

just gonna answer all of these bc i want to hope that's cool

like everyone else my favorite episode is 25 😔 (special shoutout to the last ten minutes of episode 37 though that is one of the best show endings i've ever seen in my life)

like rem. i'd be all over that

honestly for a while

i want to answer this but the opposite way-- i think kabru from dungeon meshi would thrive in death note skjfgdfjg (and light would make a great trigun villain)

sooo many (death note is a comedy) but probably the funniest sequence to me in the whole thing is when they're at school and light calls misa to get L's name and is incredibly smug and maniacal about it and then L picks up the phone

first one of course

light 😔

GOD.... WHY DID I ALMOST TEAR UP AT L'S DEATH EVEN WHEN I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN FOR OVER A DECADE... THAT WAS CRAZY

my FAAAAVORITE light yagami song is bird song by florence + the machine. it's so so so so him it's crazy i can't believe there's not a billion amvs of it

matsuda OBVIOUSLY. also naomi and honestly L like that would be so funny

omg the end of the yotsuba arc where everyone on the task force starts touching the death note and everyone can see the shinigami was crazy i loved how that was done. but also as someone who somehow was not spoiled on what misa's actual role is and only knew her as "light's girlfriend or something" for 12 years, finding out that she also has a death note was surprising and so cool!

read the hinterland doctrine NOW. YES ALL 700K. CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE AND DO IT RIGHT NOW.

i'm clinically insane over lawlight sorry. also a big remisa fan though

adult sayu....? i guess....? 😭

oh ABSOLUTELY matsuda obviously but also deeply ryuk. i'm also here to laugh at everything, go "oh you're crazy crazy" to light yagami, and pester people to feed me my favorite food

the entirety of light's warehouse speech because the voice acting for it is insanely good, and especially the "who else could have done it and come this far?" line

literally how shinigami use the death note. which is crazy because that's the whole premise but i feel like that's so weirdly unexplained?? like ryuk says that shinigami are doing fuckall in their realm and not even killing humans anymore but isn't being reaped by a shinigami how humans die? clearly people were still dying like normal before light got the note?? we never see any shinigami do "regularly scheduled" death note kills at all so HOW is ANY of this working

PERIWINKLEEEEEEE ☺️ (also they do in the jdrama! misa's is red it's so cute)

CUNTY! i'd need some strappy goth fit that could also double as charli xcx concert clothing

SALT AND VINEGARRRRR

other than some stupid posts here and there, the one i'm currently working on is a fic where L uses the death note and i'm very pleased with the idea... time will tell if i do anything with it

that mello and near are meant to represent L's two halves-- emotion and logic respectively

the rain/foot scene in the anime, but the entire blue scene in the jdrama. god. i'm not over that. there's soooo much you can read into for both of those scenes

misa of courseeee

episode 2 :') episode 1 was already fun but episode 2 was where it REALLY grabbed me. i LOVED seeing the set-up of light versus L and how the lind l. tailor thing + the resulting SCATHING call-out that followed played out. i was just having so, so, so much fun with it and continued to have a lot of fun with it

my favorite character is unfortunately light so everything bad that happened to him i was cheering for and he deserved it buuuuut if i had to pick a saddest thing to happen. i really adore everything about his death and there is something undeniably tragic about the scene where he runs past the vision of his younger self. i love that light, corrupted beyond belief, bleeding out and running away like a coward, has to face the memory of who he was before he ruined himself forever, and has to face just how much he's fallen and lost everything. it's incredibly cathartic for the audience to see light finally have to recognize that he's failed beyond redemption, even minutes before his death

💀🪽🥱->📕🌏->📕👦-> 💀💀💀💀💀💀->🇱🤔->🇱👦->🇱🔗👦->🏳️‍🌈❓->👦🫱📕->⌚🖊️->🇱💀->👦🥳->👦🪦💃->💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀->🇳➕Ⓜ️🟰💀🪽🖊️👦📕->👦💀->🥳

oh my godddd picking just one is so hard when death note honestly has some of my favorite official art of anything ever. i just love the style of it, the colors, and the imagery used. so i'll just use a recent favorite which is:

29. THE 2015 JDRAMA.... i jokingly call it death note stampede because it feels like a remix of the source material in a similar way as trigun stampede, but as with stampede, i also really love it. for the most part the differences it makes are pretty interesting and i think it stands really well on its own. while i love how unapologetically evil canon light is i also love how tortured light is in this one and how much desperation is in his relationship with L. it's a fascinating take on death note! (and in many ways, a much more cohesive one) also a huge fan of the musical though

30. REM.... i love her so much. i would say naomi but i've yet to read the bb case (SORRY I WILL I PROMISE). also kiyomi had such fascinating potential but o&o are too misogynist to do anything about it 🥲 the pattern here is just female characters.

Favorite chapter/episode?

If you had a Death Note, what would you want your Shinigami to look like?

How long do you think you could get away with hiding a Death Note?

If your favorite character weren’t in Death Note, what anime/manga do you think they would thrive in?

A scene that makes you laugh.

Which is your favorite opening?

Your favorite kira?

The death that affected you the most.

What song(s) fit the vibe of your favorite character?

A character you would hang out with irl.

What moment surprised you the most?

What is a fanwork (edit, fic, art, etc.) that you still think about to this day? (Pls link to the original!)

Favorite ships?

What character do you think you look the most like?

Which character’s personality do you relate to?

A line from the series that stuck with you.

A question that was never answered, but you wonder about all the time.

If Death Notes came in different colors, what color would yours to be?

What would be your staple kira catching outfit?

Favorite potato chip flavor?

A Death Note fanwork that you’ve made and are proud of.

A favorite Death Note theory.

Your favorite interaction.

Who do you think had the best style?

At what point did you fall in love with Death Note?

Saddest moment for your favorite character.

Lay out the plot of Death Note using only emojis.

Favorite official art.

Favorite Death Note Spin off media.

A character that needs to be mentioned more.  

[freloux]

the classic end-of-year fic meme

This was a really good writing year. I healed from the bad fandom experience that took up most of 2023 and wrote a lot of things I'm proud of.

Long post under the cut:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? About what I predicted. I didn't write a lot of fics, but the ones I did write were long.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Crazy Stupid Love. The fic was a story idea that's been kicking around for a long time, and I finally got around to writing it. I was also pleasantly surprised that I made a brief return to the Doctor Who and Poe Party fandoms. Some fandoms you never really leave. 💜

What’s your own favorite story of the year? I think the salt of loving because of how healing it was to write. I really, really love that story and everything it gave me.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I wrote two [archive locked] crack fics. I don't tend to write those, so it was fun to write something that was completely off the cuff.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I don't, for once! I'm tinkering with a new, original story idea (not fanfiction, but not profic, either) and I'm interested to see where it goes, but I'm not putting pressure on myself with it. I've been so prolific for so long that I'm enjoying the break.

From my past year of writing, what was… My best story of this year: A very close tie between the salt of loving and miracle

My most popular story of this year: been waiting to show him which is very surprising, honestly. I think it shows the difference between comment/hit ratios.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: N/A - everything I wrote got the response I expected it to. (People love sexy hockey boys lol.)

Most fun story to write: miracle was a joy (see above re: sexy hockey boys, but also immersing myself in the '80s was fun).

Story with the single sexiest moment: I'm giving this one to miracle again! Either the ice rink encounter in chapter 3 or the pinball scene in chapter 5.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: Nothing comes to mind.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: N/A

Hardest story to write: Last year I said about BBF: "'baptized by fire' required as much research as it did writing time, which taught me that I love research-heavy fics and historical fiction. So although it was hard, it was very rewarding." Oh, how innocent I was - I wrote four historical fiction novels/novellas this year. I'm giving this one to Salt; like BBF, it was both hard and rewarding. (And it's about the Vietnam War, so the topic is extremely heavy besides.)

Biggest surprise: I think it's the same thing as my answer to the "never predicted" question. I didn't think I'd return to old fandoms.

Most unintentionally telling story: I'm giving this one to the two archive locked "business bros" crack fics. I work with people like that lol.

Favorite Opening Lines / Introductions: miracle again! I was really proud of the immediate scene setting on this one.

Favorite Closing Lines: Not a closing line for a fic as a whole, but a chapter close:

"It’s just that – being with Nick makes Charlie believe that he can have anything he wants.

Kind of makes him feel like he beat the Soviets instead."

Favorite Lines from Anywhere: I can't pick only one. I'm proud of this year.

I'll tag @firstaudrina, @oneofthewednesdays, and @melt-the-stars

[andaniellight]

Answering Ask Game for Fanfic Writers

Answering asks by beloved @neinnonay my forever indulging friend <3 <3 <3 from this post btw! Feel free to do it too if you see this :D

Q5: have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing

I sadly don't! I don't do playlist for my writing because i can't even get a solid hold of my own, which is why i think the writers who do are so impressive lmao i only do playlist for recommended songs of the pairings that i like and are suitable for them instead

Q11: what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? (also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?)

Oh! This was from a long time ago when I was working on my Witch Hat Atelier fic, 'Cascade(s)', that's unfortunately incomplete (because life happens), but I found out that "blue is a pigment that is unstable and dangerous”, and it is actually about Cobalt Blue pigment irl. Also, scientifically speaking, the safest pigment of blue is this pigment that's called YlnMn Blue / MasBlue that contains the the elements Yttrium, Indium, Manganese, and Oxygen. #TheMoreYouKnowIfYouDidNot

And, yes, I worry a lot about fact-checking because I'm the type of person who'd look up shit if I find something niche and interesting in the things I read to make sure if it's real/not. I reflect on that behavior as both a reader and a writer to clear more path for me for the plot or to make it as ornaments for the story, so it's more interesting.

Q17: what is your favorite line you've ever written?

Ough this is tricky... I'm trying to remember the most memorable ones and, uhhh. I think it's this one from The Batman fic I did in 2022: “You haven’t answered me,” Alfred says insistently, inviting Bruce back into the room, back to him. “Are you hurt, Master Wayne?”

Q35: tell us about a character who's very different than you who you love a whole lot

ngl THERE ARE PLENTYYY 😂 i think i can only talk about Luffy rn tho because of how totally different we are. i am everything that Monkey D. Luffy is not. he's genuinely the embodiment of hope that i'd often lose because of depression. I won't be able to dream so big and bravely like him. I won't be able to be brave so dauntingly like him in the first place lmao he's like. the gasoline to my fading flame that is my crushed soul... not to sound so fucking pathetic but yeah i love him with all my heart, he's the cutest and the sweetest and the dumbest yet the smartest and the most freeing character ever and i love him so much for it. even i still struggle writing about him for fics because i feel like i'm not being myself, but every second is just <3 <3 <3

Q41: what is the weirdest story idea you've ever had

Definitely this one where Daredevil and The Punisher both got turned into werewolves LMAO and i did published it on ao3! but the more i work on it, the more i realize that maybe this is never the one i want lmao sorry!!!

Q62: what's the weirdest reason you've ever shipped something?

SKSJDHKSJDFHKS does shipping Jack Frost and Hiccup back in the day counts as something? :) just because :)

Q63: what's the best insult you've ever read in a fic?

I can't answer with specifics for this one but I swear Spider-man fic writers are on God the masters for this thing. There are just SO MANY good insults by Peter Parker whenever he's being himself and all of them will never fail to crack me up I can't even pick one most favorite one.

[lexifer-666]

musings abt my personal life and also comparing it to my special interest because why not im getting philosophical. under the cut

I always related to him, especially the first time I watched the show in 2019. I was, like Quentin, a depressed super-nerd who couldn't run away from life fast enough. Someone who wanted more in life than what I'd been given. I was freshly in college, in a whole new environment than where I grew up. I was finally among people who cared more about farming and hunting and jesus, I was in **my** brakebills. But.... It still wasn't enough? Something was still wrong. For me, the beast was that... Feeling inside of me that I wasn't good enough. That my existence was a burden. There's a lot of trauma reasons for this, stuff i won't really get into in this post.

so like.... I indulge in escapism. a little too much. I get attached to fictional characters that i relate to, or see myself in, and my favorite show ever is The Magicians. As much as I would love to sit here and be like "I'm so much like Eliott! Gender!"

By god I am a fucking Quentin instead.

Like quentin... I'm not particularly *good* at anything. I'm decent at art, I'm decently smart, I can write like a motherfucker and I can talk my way out of things if I really need to. But... These are all pretty average skills compared to the people around me. When I compared myself to him in the past, I always focused on the negative traits he had that I related to.

One thing I noticed in the show, and why Quentin was the main character and not someone super-talented like Julia, Alice or Penny... Was that he was one resilient son of a bitch. He kept going no matter how many times he got knocked down, even if he didn't feel like he was still going. He would motivate everyone else to keep going too, instead of just giving up. Even though he was constantly running, running from himself and his own life... Eventually he stopped running, turned around and went "Fuck it, either I fix this or no one else will." And... Stopped running. Started living.

That's.... What I've been doing the past 24 years. Running, avoiding... Running from myself, my past, running even from the things and people that make me happy. I don't know why, it's like I'm afraid to let anything get too close to me... To get too real. But that's the thing, isn't it? Everything is real. Running from it isn't going to change that.

That's not something I really picked up on the first few times I watched the show. Because I was still running, myself. But... I don't know. I saw a post on here earlier that was along the lines of "I've learned I can't avoid my way into a life I enjoy."

I think... It's probably about the time I do what Quentin did. Just... Stop running. Start fighting. Finally make the life I've always wanted.

I want my dad to know I'm his son, not his daughter. I want... The man I'm in love with to know I'm in love with him. I want my childhood best friend to know that even if he struggles with social isolation, that I'll always be there for him even if he has a hard time messaging me back. For one of my best friends in the world to know that them choosing me, staying my friend despite everything we went through together means so much more to me than I can ever express in words or actions. I want to dedicate myself fully to the things I enjoy: History, Archive work, writing, art. I want to stop avoiding making art or writing my stories because I'm too scared I'll make something terrible. I want to stop avoiding my studies because I'm afraid I'll fail. I want to stop being a coward and not telling those around me the things I want to tell them because I'm too scared to let my walls down and let them see me.

I don't know if that's gonna happen... Anytime soon. It's not like writing a sappy, philosophical tumblr post at 8pm on a friday night is gonna magically give me the courage I need to be... Vulnerable? Stop being so reserved? But... It also can't hurt. There's also the chance that at least, most of the people I mentioned in this post might read it, and that means at least indirectly I got to tell them how I feel. (R... S... hello!)

I've never really known who I was. I wasn't ever really allowed to *be* a person. But.... Idk. I think I'm figuring it out, finally. Even if it's just because I'm obsessed with a certain fictional character. (If you're reading this, and haven't watched The Magicians... Highly recommend.)