#the whole life in a time loop: pros cons and pitfalls

[vaszametili]

been thinking about my drifter for so long and finally i was able to draw him... almost for the first time since 2021.... they're growing so fast 🤧🤧

close ups and a few thoughts about him are below!

(sorry for any mistakes I still use my poor knowledge of english in tandem with a translator 😔)

• In Duviri, he wore a mask of Guilt for so long that at some point, thanks to a conceptual embodiment, it literally replaced his face. It was only after Teshin appeared that he remembered what normal people should look like, tore it off his face (bodyhorror intended) and manifested a new one.

• He tried to grow the same magnificent beard as Teshin's, but he only got a thin mustache, which he left. Thrax laughed so hard in that loop that it set a record for the longest undying time. Later, they cut off his head anyway, but the next few spirals were painfully Joyful.

• Since after escaping from Duviri (which he left literally in ruins), he still had no idea what the paradox was or what the hell was going on in the Original System. So he was initially motivated only by a desire to repay the debt to this mysterious Other Side. But later, after getting to know Ordis and finding Lotus, this struggle with Narmer became a personal crusade for freedom. Or another role that he imposed on himself.

• There was too much of a shared past between him and Operator, weighed down by his own feelings of abandonment, envy, unwillingness to let go, and fear of loss. Therefore, he decided nothing better than to push away and run again. For half a year he drifted in search of his place and himself, until the Song sounded on the system. He was the only one of them two who remembered Zariman completely, so he rushed to the ship, knowing that the Operator would be there. The idea of being alone in the main place of their nightmares overcame his own horror of the place. He couldn't let that happen.

• Unlike Ole (Operator), he still does not have a specific name, and some kind of feeling does not allow him to choose a new one for himself. But he really loves the nicknames that others give him with all his heart: names from Ordis, Cavia, Syndicates and even the inhabitants of Duviri firmly occupy a place in his soul, as his personal treasure. "If you give something a name, it means you recognize that it exists" — and judging by how many names The Hex gave to him, he really is seen and recognized.