#the whole language around it is also so sad like
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whiskeyswifty · 7 months ago
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The way my parents have actually been married for just over 30 years you clocked them so hard 🤣 and I can’t help but notice that they are GENUINELY still happy together the way a lot of straight married couples aren’t this far down the line! Obv this is anecdotal but idk it seems like it’s actually pretty healthy to not obsessively police your and your partner’s thoughts! Wild!
omg!!! hahahah it was truly a wild guess, but love that for them. it's anecdotal i guess but honestly true across the board in my experience. soooooo wild that a long and happy and healthy marriage involves communication and healthy boundaries where you're not trying to control one another!! CRAZYYYY talk!! who would have guessed!!
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defira85 · 1 year ago
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I think I got my first spam comment on AO3 :/
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dykepuffs · 9 months ago
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How Do I Make My Fictional Gypsies Not Racist?
(Or, "You can't, sorry, but…")
You want to include some Gypsies in your fantasy setting. Or, you need someone for your main characters to meet, who is an outsider in the eyes of the locals, but who already lives here. Or you need a culture in conflict with your settled people, or who have just arrived out of nowhere. Or, you just like the idea of campfires in the forest and voices raised in song. And you’re about to step straight into a muckpile of cliches and, accidentally, write something racist.
(In this, I am mostly using Gypsy as an endonym of Romany people, who are a subset of the Romani people, alongside Roma, Sinti, Gitano, Romanisael, Kale, etc, but also in the theory of "Gypsying" as proposed by Lex and Percy H, where Romani people are treated with a particular mix of orientalism, criminalisation, racialisation, and othering, that creates "The Gypsy" out of both nomadic peoples as a whole and people with Romani heritage and racialised physical features, languages, and cultural markers)
Enough of my friends play TTRPGs or write fantasy stories that this question comes up a lot - They mention Dungeons and Dragons’ Curse Of Strahd, World Of Darkness’s Gypsies, World Of Darkness’s Ravnos, World of Darkness’s Silent Striders… And they roll their eyes and say “These are all terrible! But how can I do it, you know, without it being racist?”
And their eyes are big and sad and ever so hopeful that I will tell them the secret of how to take the Roma of the real world and place them in a fictional one, whilst both appealing to gorjer stereotypes of Gypsies and not adding to the weight of stereotyping that already crushes us. So, disappointingly, there is no secret.
Gypsies, like every other real-world culture, exist as we do today because of interactions with cultures and geography around us: The living waggon, probably the archetypal thing which gorjer writers want to include in their portrayals of nomads, is a relatively modern invention - Most likely French, and adopted from French Showmen by Romanies, who brought it to Britain. So already, that’s a tradition that only spans a small amount of the time that Gypsies have existed, and only a small number of the full breadth of Romani ways of living. But the reasons that the waggon is what it is are based on the real world - The wheels are tall and iron-rimmed, because although you expect to travel on cobbled, tarmac, or packed-earth roads and for comparatively short distances, it wasn’t rare to have to ford a river in Britain in the late nineteenth century, on country roads. They were drawn by a single horse, and the shape of that horse was determined by a mixture of local breeds - Welsh cobs, fell ponies, various draft breeds - as well as by the aesthetic tastes of the breeders. The stove inside is on the left, so that as you move down a British road, the chimney sticks up into the part where there will be the least overhanging branches, to reduce the chance of hitting it.
So taking a fictional setting that looks like (for example) thirteenth century China (with dragons), and placing a nineteenth century Romanichal family in it will inevitably result in some racist assumptions being made, as the answer to “Why does this culture do this?” becomes “They just do it because I want them to” rather than having a consistent internal logic.
Some stereotypes will always follow nomads - They appear in different forms in different cultures, but they always arise from the settled people's same fears: That the nomads don't share their values, and are fundamentally strangers. Common ones are that we have a secret language to fool outsiders with, that we steal children and disguise them as our own, that our sexual morals are shocking (This one has flipped in the last half century - From the Gypsy Lore Society's talk of the lascivious Romni seductress who will lie with a strange man for a night after a 'gypsy wedding', to today's frenzied talk of 'grabbing' and sexually-conservative early marriages to ensure virginity), that we are supernatural in some way, and that we are more like animals than humans. These are tropes where if you want to address them, you will have to address them as libels - there is no way to casually write a baby-stealing, magical succubus nomad without it backfiring onto real life Roma. (The kind of person who has the skills to write these tropes well, is not the kind of person who is reading this guide.)
It’s too easy to say a list of prescriptive “Do nots”, which might stop you from making the most common pitfalls, but which can end up with your nomads being slightly flat as you dance around the topics that you’re trying to avoid, rather than being a rich culture that feels real in your world.
So, here are some questions to ask, to create your nomadic people, so that they will have a distinctive culture of their own that may (or may not) look anything like real-world Romani people: These aren't the only questions, but they're good starting points to think about before you make anything concrete, and they will hopefully inspire you to ask MORE questions.
First - Why are they nomadic? Nobody moves just to feel the wind in their hair and see a new horizon every morning, no matter what the inspirational poster says. Are they transhumant herders who pay a small rent to graze their flock on the local lord’s land? Are they following migratory herds across common land, being moved on by the cycle of the seasons and the movement of their animals? Are they seasonal workers who follow man-made cycles of labour: Harvests, fairs, religious festivals? Are they refugees fleeing a recent conflict, who will pass through this area and never return? Are they on a regular pilgrimage? Do they travel within the same area predictably, or is their movement governed by something that is hard to predict? How do they see their own movements - Do they think of themselves as being pushed along by some external force, or as choosing to travel? Will they work for and with outsiders, either as employees or as partners, or do they aim to be fully self-sufficient? What other jobs do they do - Their whole society won’t all be involved in one industry, what do their children, elderly, disabled people do with their time, and is it “work”?
If they are totally isolationist - How do they produce the things which need a complex supply chain or large facilities to make? How do they view artefacts from outsiders which come into their possession - Things which have been made with technology that they can’t produce for themselves? (This doesn’t need to be anything about quality of goods, only about complexity - A violin can be made by one artisan working with hand tools, wood, gut and shellac, but an accordion needs presses to make reeds, metal lathes to make screws, complex organic chemistry to make celluloid lacquer, vulcanised rubber, and a thousand other components)
How do they feel about outsiders? How do they buy and sell to outsiders? If it’s seen as taboo, do they do it anyway? Do they speak the same language as the nearby settled people (With what kind of fluency, or bilingualism, or dialect)? Do they intermarry, and how is that viewed when it happens? What stories does this culture tell about why they are a separate people to the nearby settled people? Are those stories true? Do they have a notional “homeland” and do they intend to go there? If so, is it a real place?
What gorjers think of as classic "Gipsy music" is a product of our real-world situation. Guitar from Spain, accordions from the Soviet Union (Which needed modern machining and factories to produce and make accessible to people who weren't rich- and which were in turn encouraged by Soviet authorities preferring the standardised and modern accordion to the folk traditions of the indigenous peoples within the bloc), brass from Western classical traditions, via Balkan folk music, influences from klezmer and jazz and bhangra and polka and our own music traditions (And we influence them too). What are your people's musical influences? Do they make their own instruments or buy them from settled people? How many musical traditions do they have, and what are they all for (Weddings, funerals, storytelling, campfire songs, entertainment...)? Do they have professional musicians, and if so, how do those musicians earn money? Are instrument makers professionals, or do they use improvised and easy-to-make instruments like willow whistles, spoons, washtubs, etc? (Of course the answer can be "A bit of both")
If you're thinking about jobs - How do they work? Are they employed by settled people (How do they feel about them?) Are they self employed but providing services/goods to the settled people? Are they mostly avoidant of settled people other than to buy things that they can't produce themselves? Are they totally isolationist? Is their work mostly subsistence, or do they create a surplus to sell to outsiders? How do they interact with other workers nearby? Who works, and how- Are there 'family businesses', apprentices, children with part time work? Is it considered 'a job' or just part of their way of life? How do they educate their children, and is that considered 'work'? How old are children when they are considered adult, and what markers confer adulthood? What is considered a rite of passage?
When they travel, how do they do it? Do they share ownership of beasts of burden, or each individually have "their horse"? Do families stick together or try to spread out? How does a child begin to live apart from their family, or start their own family? Are their dwellings something that they take with them, or do they find places to stay or build temporary shelter with disposable material? Who shares a dwelling and why? What do they do for privacy, and what do they think privacy is for?
If you're thinking about food - Do they hunt? Herd? Forage? Buy or trade from settled people? Do they travel between places where they've sown crops or managed wildstock in previous years, so that when they arrive there is food already seeded in the landscape? How do they feel about buying food from settled people, and is that common? If it's frowned upon - How much do people do it anyway? How do they preserve food for winter? How much food do they carry with them, compared to how much they plan to buy or forage at their destinations? How is food shared- Communal stores, personal ownership?
Why are they a "separate people" to the settled people? What is their creation myth? Why do they believe that they are nomadic and the other people are settled, and is it correct? Do they look different? Are there legal restrictions on them settling? Are there legal restrictions on them intermixing? Are there cultural reasons why they are a separate people? Where did those reasons come from? How long have they been travelling? How long do they think they've been travelling? Where did they come from? Do they travel mostly within one area and return to the same sites predictably, or are they going to move on again soon and never come back?
And then within that - What about the members of their society who are "unusual" in some way: How does their society treat disabled people? (are they considered disabled, do they have that distinction and how is it applied?) How does their society treat LGBT+ people? What happens to someone who doesn't get married and has no children? What happens to someone who 'leaves'? What happens to young widows and widowers? What happens if someone just 'can't fit in'? What happens to someone who is adopted or married in? What happens to people who are mixed race, and in a fantasy setting to people who are mixed species? What is taboo to them and what will they find shocking if they leave? What is society's attitude to 'difference' of various kinds?
Basically, if you build your nomads from the ground-up, rather than starting from the idea of "I want Gypsies/Buryats/Berbers/Minceiri but with the numbers filed off and not offensive" you can end up with a rich, unique nomadic culture who make sense in your world and don't end up making a rod for the back of real-world cultures.
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diy-dynamite · 6 days ago
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Hello! Is it possible for you to write cuddling headcanons for Mr. Crawling and Mr. Scarletella? :D
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I DO WRITE FOR MR SCARLETELLA!! I GOT U :3
Wanna Be With You || cuddling hcs
Featuring: Mr. Crawling, Mr. Scarletella
Contents: SPOILERS 4 HOMICIPHER, "Blissful Love Life" and one of Scarletella's endings that I 4got the name to
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(Based more on the Blissful Love Life Ending)
☆ it's obvious that Mr. Crawling is clingy. High maintenance, even. He doesn't force you into anything, obviously, but he'd DIE (again) and melt into a glob on the floor when you offer to cuddle with him for the first time.
☆ his love languages are definitely acts of service, words of affirmation, and touch, but BIIIIIG on touch. Source: trust me bro.
☆ whenever you're lying down, he's GOT to be either right next to you or resting on your torso and lower the same way a dog would sleep at the foot of your bed.
☆ he'd whimper and whine if you kicked him off—which you wouldn't, I hope. He's attached to you by the hip!
☆ to add onto this, you don't have to see him to know how this man instantly switches to search mode whenever you get separated. You hear from your other friends (specifically, Mr. Chopped with his gossipy mouth and his tendency to always be in dire situations) that he gets very agitated when you're away from him for too long. He also mentioned that despite Mr. Crawly's frustration, he was kind enough to bring Mr. Chopped back to safety.
☆ so... don't put him through more torture than he already is now, having to crawl and scrape his palms and knees every time he moves, and let him hold you every night!!!!
☆ Mr. Crawly doesn't care AT ALL what cuddling position he's in. He wants to hold you, he wants you to hold him—all of it is a win!
☆ he's MOST fond of sleeping right on top of you, though. He's like a weighted, cold blanket. You'd be lying on your back while he'd be lying on his stomach, smiling contently as he listens to your resting heart and calmed breathing.
☆ he also likes sleeping on top of you because he gets to shield you.
☆ idt this man is messy... he's probably gonna lay so still that you'd think he was back to being a corpse. Maybe during the first few nights, he'd be tossing and turning to try and find a position for himself that doesn't hurt either one of you AND is comfortable.
☆ you don't have to worry about being uncomfortable because yk damn well he'd be adjusting himself to suit your tastes. #ifhewantedtohewould like bffr...!
☆ anyway. He's a 10/10 in cuddling. He's really touchy, so if you let him cuddle with you, he'd be HORRIBLY sad if you didn't let him the next day.
********
(Based on the ending where he becomes our prop/servant, idk)
♡ now. We all know Mr. Scarletella is obsessed in a way that parallels Mr. Crawling's. (And I'll just use "Mr. Red" to refer to him bc I'm too lazy to type his whole name out)
♡ anyway! Mr. Red isn't as touchy as Mr. Crawly. He prefers words of affirmation over everything else, but he does enjoy touch.
♡ every time you touch his hand or just hold him over your shoulder as you walk, UGH—if he were a teenage human girl, he'd be kicking his feet up with his homegirls on the phone like "Oh my god!!" and all that.
♡ anyway, as for positions; I'm torn between whether he likes ANY that has him holding you, or you holding him.
♡ him holding you: he wants to return the favour! Since you're always holding him, he wants to be the one to curl up around you, this time.
♡ he wants you to know that despite him being yours, you're also his. With a long arm slung over your shoulders and his legs just behind yours, he wants the chance to feel like he's doing something for you.
♡ you holding him: selfish fucker. He wants more of the touch you give him. He'd already do anything for you, so you might as well give him this. Right?
♡ at the same time, he doesn't have much of a reason why he wants to hold you. Maybe he just wants to. Perhaps he flickers back and forth, too, depending on the day.
♡ he's just as high maintenance as Crawly, but he's a little tougher and has his own wants that sometimes might not align with yours.
♡ he gets what he wants no matter what. You would know.
♡ but hey. The cuddles are great! Very comfy if you can take his stiffness for a couple of nights since he isn't used to it yet.
♡ 8.5/10. 5 for the cuddle quality, 3.5 for the intent...?
********
I HOPE THIS IS TO YOUR LIKINGS GUYS :3 it's like. 3:47 am where I am rn... if there are mistakes, disregard them bc I probably already know about them I just don't care yet at this time of day
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malkaviian · 2 years ago
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thinking between drama between oc trios because i have been listening to a certain vocaloid saga (which i have no idea how it is called ngl)
#mostly the whole thing between finnley/chase/caspian; ah#caspian knows finnley doesnt fully likes him the few times he saw him when he wasnt dating chase. hes extra sensitive to body language#and how he reacted when he was around was so obvious; even if just quick glares. the thing is that he doesnt know why he dislikes him#chase never bothered to explain the true nature of his relationship with finnley because he was more focused on getting caspian to like him#and maybe telling him he was fwb with him + was overall very promiscuous wasnt the best way to make him like him back lmao#he was sure caspian was a virgin or at least someone without that much sex experience and both him and finnley are... the total opposite#telling him that might scare him + make him think he would eventually cheat on him if they were on a relationship:c#either with finnley or someone else. so he kept quiet about that part and presented finnley as his friend and thats it#and of course he wasnt really happy to meet the one who was replacing HIS place on chases heart; even if he didnt wanted to admit it#so from the beginning he tried to subtly show his disgust; which eventually became more obvious. but caspian noticed since the first time#he thinks it must be his fault; he must have done something wrong; but has absolutely no idea what. or maybe hes just that unlikable#that even a complete stranger can tell how pathetic his life is. and that made him very sad. so hes glad he only saw finnley like 4 times#then he started dating chase; and now suddenly his boyfriend and the other one arent friends anymore. he was quick to blame himself#and even then chase didnt explained to him what truly happened when he asked. he just said things werent working out anymore#and left it at that. he also said it wasnt his fault so he shouldnt worry at all; that friendships just arent the same anymore#even when this whole problem started when chase started to show interest on him and eventually have stronger feelings for him than finnley.#neither of them had romantic feelings for each other btw they were just very important for the other; way more than just best friends#but well. stuff happened#oc talk
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kitsuneoftheorganization · 2 years ago
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i would like to hear all your thoughts about ai hrgfkfjdk he is such the character ever. his whole character arc and that last duel with yusaku absolutely devastated me :')
HHHHJAKSKSJSK okay number one I absolutely love characters who at first seem not so bright, but are way smarter than they appear, yet at the same time are still dorks. and he is the embodiment of that. I love his goofiness. The fact that he annoys the hell out of Yusaku and tries to get reactions out of him is hilarious.
overall he doesn't feel, imo, like a character, his personality and their interactions feel very real, and this is actually something in general I like about vrains and the characters and their interactions
what really hit me hard though was him trying to play the part of a villain at the end and trying to hide his real reasons, even though you could see the fact that he really does care a lot for everyone. Man has the villain fashion down tho 👏
as for his human form, paired with his personality he had me like WOOF WOOF 🐕
it was on a more serious note so interesting to see how he pictures himself as a human, his body language, etc, and the fact that he's still just as much of a dork (excluding, y'know, the trauma of losing his family he's dealing with, poor guy :[ ) but just imagining being there as a human and seeing this ai have feelings and free will and depth and be so human would be crazy to witness much less befriend him and have a bond with him like Yusaku, it reminds me of DBH where Hank sees the development of Connor and they become so attached to each other
but then the final duel absolutely destroyed me, him getting nostalgic but still trying to be jokey about it and pretend he doesn't care, then finally giving up the act and telling Yusaku that in every simulation he sacrificed himself to keep Ai alive, and seeing how devastated Ai was, was devastating. him asking if he was a good partner had me CRYING
i'd love to see just everything turning out great, yusaku finding him, him getting a body back, just living domestically with yusaku and all his friends and seeing how he would navigate the world. I want to think the other ignis are somewhere out there as well and that somehow possibly they could be brought back and coexist :) yes I'm being hopeful but poor Ai being the last ignis, realizing that other AI programs just weren't able to be the same as the ignis are, the weight of being literally the last thing like yourself and knowing a good amount of humans are distrustful of you is a lot to shoulder
I could go on and on but in general he's just the most lil creacher ever and I wanna squeeze his cheeks. im so happy he survived but he rlly needs a hug
#the fact that in the beginning#he's the more humanlike character and Yusaku seems more reserved and cold#i love that dynamic#and how in the beginning it's easy to see him as a machine feigning emotions and reactions that he has#but we see that he really does feel and is genuine#im so sad about what happened to roboppi#but we see even in that arc he shed a tear over him. he's a good person deep down#just like yusaku said#his @ignister deck was cool to see too#the fact he made himself taller than yusaku was hilarious#like he just HAD to get that one over him lol#but like i said from the perspective of someone in the anime that knows him i think it would be really interesting to see this ai#with free will and a whole personality and mysterious origins#and befriend them and find out wow okay he really is very human#and to see that he really does care deeply#and see how he views himself as a human is the really interesting thing and his body language like i said#as someone who's a huge fan of detroit become human and loves analyzing stuff like that and the storylines around it#also his eyes i love his eyes#that is all i will conclude my rant#i love that handsome smart idiot glorified roomba <3#okay im rlly done now im just repeating myself i just could go on abt vrains i was so surprised by how much i love it#ive spoiled half of it for myself i need to watch the chink in the middle i didnt spoil LMAO#this is very unorganized but yes many thoughts abt ai#not genshin#yugioh vrains#vrains spoilers
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roosterforme · 10 months ago
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Explicitly Yours | Bob Floyd x Reader
Summary: When Bob met you, he fell for you hard and fast. He thought you might be his perfect match, the one that would make his days feel full instead of lonely. He never would have dreamed you had a secret. But secrets are known to be revealed at the most inconvenient of times, and Bob's surprised hesitation could cost him the thing he wants most.
Warnings: Smut, oral, fluff, angst, misogyny, language, mentions of adult film industry
Length: 11k words (what have I done?)
Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Former Pornstar!Female Reader
This was written for International Bob Floyd Fucks Month hosted by @attapullman. Check my masterlist for more! Banner by @thedroneranger
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Bob was fresh off of a long deployment when he returned to work at North Island on Monday morning to find he would begin training as part of a new taskforce. He was tired and antsy, still overstimulated from being around so many people on the aircraft carrier, but he was also realizing how lonely he was. 
He'd arrived back to a sterile, empty, dusty apartment, slept for two days, and now he was back to work. He couldn't even have a cat or a houseplant. He really would like to have a cat or a houseplant. Mostly he thought about how nice it would be to have a girlfriend. A sweet one who would wait for him to return home so his apartment didn't feel so sad. One who didn't mind that sometimes he preferred it to be quiet. One who would let him dote on her a little bit when he was home.
When he was told to report to Classroom Six in his uniform instead of the tarmac in his flight suit, Bob knew it was going to be a long day. That idea only grew as soon as he walked in and was accosted by his friends. "You're back!" Natasha screeched, streaking across the room like a brunette cannonball and slamming into his arms. "It's not even fair that we weren't deployed together. I missed you!"
"Missed you too, Nat. Thanks for all the emails."
Then he felt Bradley, Jake and Javy all jostling him around until his glasses were crooked on his face. That's probably why he did a double take when he saw you. There was no way you were that beautiful. His glasses must need to be adjusted on his face. But he was wrong. You looked the same after he pushed his wire frames back into place. 
He swallowed hard and whispered, "Who's that?"
The guys all looked at him with matching smirks, and Javy told him your name. "Civilian. She's Warlock's new assistant. Got reassigned from a different department last week."
"She's real cute," Jake added. "And she looks so familiar."
"Why does she look so familiar?" Bradley asked, and Bob realized that the whole group was staring at you where you were conversing quietly with Warlock. "We've been trying to figure it out for a week."
You didn't look familiar to Bob. You just looked pretty with bright eyes and a friendly smile, both of which were trained on him now. Of course you were looking his way now, because everyone had mussed up his hair and wrinkled his uniform. He didn't mind so much that you caught him staring, because you were the kind of woman who must get that a lot.
"Lieutenant Floyd," Admiral Bates said as he stood, and Bob saluted his superior officer immediately. "Welcome back."
"Sir," Bob replied, doing his best not to let his gaze drift back to you. "Thank you."
Then Warlock called the room to order, and Bob ended up sitting in the front row, directly across from you. Barely six feet away. You were so pretty, it wasn't even funny. The curve of your face and your neck and the way you moved were mesmerizing. Smooth and fluid. Confident. Beautiful. You kept Warlock on task and seemed to have all the pertinent information about the class memorized. But all of it was lost on Bob, because he was way too distracted. 
By lunchtime, he had sweat through his undershirt, and he was sure his uniform shirt wasn't looking much better. The way you turned to look directly at him with a slightly guarded expression when you stood made him blush. It must be obvious to you that Bob couldn't keep his eyes off your face.
"Hi," you greeted. "Lieutenant Floyd."
Bob swallowed hard before something that sounded vaguely like Hello came out of his mouth. 
Your smile was tinged with a little sadness as you stuck out your hand. "I've been looking forward to meeting the last team member. Welcome back from deployment, Lieutenant."
And then you were walking away, but Bob was still sweating.
--------------------------
For the next four days, Bob got there early to ensure he had that same front row seat. He had a full blown crush. Heart pounding, palms damp, unable to focus on anything other than his crush on you. When he wasn't at work looking right at you, he was daydreaming about you. When he wasn't daydreaming about you, he was asleep and having actual dreams where you were his girlfriend. In one of them, you gave him a back massage, and he woke up with an erection. 
He could barely even look at you for the nauseous feeling that took up residence just below his pounding heart, but he couldn't look anywhere else. He'd never been like this before. Sure, he'd been attracted to many women in the past, but this was something else entirely. 
"But why is she so familiar looking?" Jake asked Bradley at lunch. "You sure you didn't fuck her?"
"Oh, I think I'd remember fucking someone that looked like that," Bradley replied with a chuckle. "Wait... did you fuck her?"
"I don't think so?" Jake replied, looking a little panicked. "She's not the one I went home with on my birthday, is she? Because you know I can't remember that night. And if I fucked her and can't remember it, then I deserve to be executed."
They both erupted into laughter with Javy, and Bob felt deflated. One of the three of them was definitely going to ask you out sooner rather than later, and instead of getting an occasional guarded glance in his direction, Bob would have nothing.
That night at the bar, he sat with his cup of peanuts and talked with Nat about work while everyone else played pool. "I guess we have another week or two of lectures ahead of us, but I can't wait to get back in the air."
"Yeah," Bob replied, glancing around the room in case the Hard Deck was your Friday night scene. It wasn't really his, but he came for his friends. And if he got to spend another week or two in the classroom, he wasn't going to complain; there would be no way for him to look at you when he was in the cockpit. 
"Bob!" Javy called as if he'd been trying to get his attention for a few minutes. He was waving a pool cue. "Take over for me. I need to go shoot my shot."
As Bob stood, he watched Javy head off into the crowd toward a woman who looked like you. He did a double take, his heart leaping up into his throat as Bradley started to push him closer to the pool table. Javy saw you. He was going to ask you out. A feeling of devastation filled his lungs, but then the woman turned around, and it wasn't you. Her smile wasn't nearly as pretty, and she didn't have the same eyes. 
Relieved, Bob sank the seven ball before running the table like he was some sort of pro. But he knew deep inside that he was going to have to ask you out himself or miss out on even having a chance with you. 
Every day the following week, he tried to give himself a pep talk. He could do this. Even if you said no, it would be fine. It would be good practice for him. But he knew it would not be okay. He liked the sound of your voice and the way you moved, and he thought about you in every room of his apartment doing a wide variety of things. Some of them made him blush.
He couldn't tell if it would be worse to never even try or to have to live with himself after you looked at him and said you weren't interested. At least if he kept things quiet, the guys couldn't find a way to make fun of him. And although they all liked to talk about you at lunch, to his knowledge, none of them had asked you on a date. Maybe they were as intimidated as him.
On Wednesday, you dropped your pen, and Bob picked it up for you. He got a "Thanks, Lieutenant Floyd," in response along with a cautious smile. Then on Thursday, he helped you move the projector before class started, and you said, "Thanks. You're a lot stronger than I am." He felt like he floated to his seat after that. 
On Friday, disaster struck. You were organizing your stack of notes at the end of the day when Bob stood. But then Bradley was there, leaning on the table in front of you after everyone had been dismissed. "Hey, so the guys and I were wondering if you ever made it out to the Hard Deck on Friday nights? I'd love to buy you a drink."
Bob nearly collapsed back into his seat as he watched your eyes searching Bradley's face like you were trying to tell if he was lying. "No, actually. I play Dungeons & Dragons most Friday nights."
A strangled sound escaped Bob. "You play D&D?" he asked before he could think better of it. 
"Yeah," you replied easily, giving him a little smile. "Been into it for years."
"Me too," he added, and you set down everything you'd been holding. 
"It must be hard to be part of a campaign when you deploy on occasion?" you asked, and Bob was convinced he wouldn't notice if a freight train was about to hit him. 
He nodded and took a step closer, watching you stand up. "It can be, yeah. But I've been in the same campaign for a few years, so I'd like to think I'm an integral enough part of it that everyone else doesn't mind waiting for me."
You laughed. It was so pretty. "I'm sure they don't mind one bit, Lieutenant Floyd."
"You can call me Bob," he blurted out, eyes going wide as you licked your lips and grinned. 
"Okay. Bob."
He could do this. He was already part way there, he thought. Just a little further. "Maybe you and I could get coffee this weekend and talk about our characters?"
When he was met with silence and your softly parted lips, he wanted to disappear. But your expression was trained on his face, and even though you still seemed a little hesitant, you asked, "Like a date? Because I'm free on Sunday."
-------------------------
You were laughing so hard, you had to set your coffee cup down next to your scone, and Bob was basking in the sound of it. "No, Bob! That's why I made my character a Rogue! Because I could never be such a scoundrel in real life!" He just listened to your laughter taper off while he grinned in the middle of the crowded cafe where you only seemed to be focused on him. 
"Well, that's why I made mine a Sorcerer. I don't know if you knew this about me, but I can't actually cast spells."
You started to laugh again. "Could have fooled me." But he must have been looking at you for too long, because you brought your hand up to your lips and asked, "Do I have crumbs on my face or something?"
"No, your face is perfect," he replied without considering his words, but your look of slightly embarrassed delight outweighed the tinge of mortification he felt.
You searched his eyes, seemingly always trying to gauge his sincerity. Then you surprised him when you said, "You're really sweet. It's refreshing." 
Bob looked down at his hands, unsure how to respond but pleased nonetheless. "Will you let me take you to a movie? Or dinner? Or both?"
"Yes."
The following morning at work, you were as focused on Bob as he was on you. The sweaty palms and erratically beating heart were back, only exacerbated by your alluring gaze and the promise of a second date on Thursday night. You agreed to dinner at an Italian restaurant, and Bob was already excited. 
"Why are you acting so strange?" Nat asked at lunchtime. "You're like both weirdly quiet and also talking so much?"
Bob laughed and said, "I went out on a date yesterday." And when he said it was with you, her eyes went wide. "We're going out again on Thursday."
"Bob!" she gasped, and now all of the guys were looking at him, and there was no way he would ever recover from this as Nat told them he got coffee with you.
"Welcome to the big leagues, buddy," Jake drawled, while Bradley glared at him. "Just wish I could figure out why she seems so familiar. Like it's just stuck in the back of my mind somehow. Like I know her."
"None of you know her as well as Bob does," Nat said with a laugh that made him smile. Before you and he parted ways at the coffee shop, you'd squeezed his hand in your smaller one, and it was already one of the sexiest moments of his life.
"Fuck you, Bob," Bradley grumbled. 
But it didn't matter. Bob really liked you and the fact that you talked about your Dungeons & Dragons character for a full hour. And your pretty face and your laugh. And the way you seemed interested in what he had to say. You were checking off all of the boxes for him. Smart, funny, kind of nerdy, interesting. He wondered how many dates he should take you on before asking you to be his girlfriend.
On Wednesday, as soon as Warlock dismissed everyone, you handed Bob a folded up note.
I can't wait for dinner tomorrow night. Here's my number.
He waited until he was home and sitting on his couch before he texted you. Less than a minute later, you responded. And that's how he spent the rest of his night. He didn't even eat until after nine, too wrapped up in what you had to say. Those intrusive thoughts and daydreams and real dreams about you in his apartment were starting to seem like they could be a reality. That's what he wanted. He could already picture you on the couch, wrapped up in the afghan his mom made, watching a movie with him. Or in his kitchen, helping him make dinner. 
He fell asleep on the couch in his uniform, too absorbed in this conversation to even go to bed properly. But that was fine, because suddenly it was Thursday, and not only would he see you all day at work, he'd get to eat with you and learn more about you.
Once again, Bob slid into that front row seat, and you had to work at keeping the smile from your face all morning. When you did look his way, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He was sure he'd pass out if you kissed him, and suddenly that was the only thing he could think about. Warlock talked about aggressive maneuvering, and Bob thought about your lips. Warlock talked about safety protocols, and Bob thought about your lips touching his.
It would be a miracle if he made it through dinner, but he had to try. You stood and started walking out of the classroom at the end of the day, but you turned back and said, "I'll meet you there at 7:30."
Bob offered to pick you up, but you said you'd drive yourself, and now he had more than two hours to kill. He took a long shower and fixed his hair before dressing in the outfit that Nat had pre-approved for him. He made sure his glasses were straight and that he had his credit card. The only other thing he could do was hope the conversation would come as easily for him this time, as it had over coffee.
He shouldn't have been worried about that. What he should have been worried about was the way his heart stopped when you walked through the front doors of the restaurant and directly for him, wearing a pretty blue dress with your face all made up like he was someone to impress. 
"Hi, Bob," you whispered. Then you kissed his cheek at the same time that he started to turn his head, and his lips nudged yours. He stood there shocked as you slipped your hand into his, and you started to tug him toward the waiting table when his name was called. 
His ears didn't stop burning the whole night. His brain kept circling back to the idea of another kiss. An intentional one. A kiss after a second date was not something he'd ever attempted before, but he was going to do it tonight. Based on the way you were looking at him, he had to. 
"Do you want more wine?" you asked, holding up the bottle. 
"Yes, please," he replied, because that would definitely help his cause. 
You smiled as you poured him some. "You have lovely manners." When you set the bottle down, you added, "And really pretty eyes."
Bob counted to three and then said, "I know we didn't even eat dessert yet, but I really like you. And tomorrow is your D&D night, but maybe you'll let me take you to a movie on Saturday?"
After dinner, in the parking lot next to your car, Bob kissed you. Intentionally. The first tilt of his head was hesitant, and when his lips met yours, he started to get nervous and pull away. But you let your fingers tangle in his hair, and you chased him for another kiss. "Which movie are we seeing?" you asked as you rubbed your nose gently along his.
"You can pick," he replied before kissing you again. "I just want to be around you." And then his hands found the small of your back and you inched yourself closer until your chest was touching his and your knee was bumping his leg.
You were smiling when he finally pulled his face away from yours. "I'll text you my address and the movie I want to see."
Bob smiled, too. "And then I'll pick you up, and we can go to the theater."
This was probably the best week of his life. He watched you pull out of the parking lot, and you waved to him through your window after you blew him a kiss. He went home and thought about what he might be able to cook for date number four. Perhaps you'd want to do the movie on Saturday and then have dinner at his place on Sunday? He'd figure it out. Either way, he was excited for more. 
"A third date?" Nat asked on Friday when everyone was taking a break in the classroom. "Damn, Bob." 
He eyed you where you stood talking quietly with Warlock, and you glanced his way, a soft smile on your lips. "I really like her. She's different. In a good way. And she makes me feel comfortable."
Nat rubbed his back in slow circles. "Make sure you put your arm around her during the movie. She might be expecting it. But if she doesn't snuggle against you, then you should remove it."
He nodded and swallowed. "Right. I can do that. Is it too soon to invite her over to my apartment for dinner?"
"I don't think so," she replied softly. "And maybe you should buy some condoms."
Bob's cheeks immediately flushed, but he didn't mind too much, since it was just Nat. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."
"She seems sweet. Just tell her what you're feeling when the time comes."
Now everything was making Bob a little nervous as he drove through your neighborhood on Saturday night. He passed modern beachfront house after modern beachfront house, and then his GPS told him he had arrived. He saw your car in the driveway, but the house was gorgeous and must be worth a ton of money. Maybe you had a roommate? 
He parked his old truck and headed up the sidewalk with butterflies in his stomach and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. You opened the door before he even knocked, and then you were in his arms and invading his senses. "Are those for me?" you asked, kissing his cheek and poking the flowers. 
"Yes," he whispered, silently begging you to let him hold you for a few more seconds while he caught his breath and got himself under control. You turned him on in every way, and he'd never encountered this before. 
Your soft voice next to his ear as you chuckled and said, "Thanks, Bob," was not helping. You led him inside, and your house was incredible. There were no signs of a roommate, but there was a view of the ocean from the windows along the back of the house. He watched you bend in your little dress to find a vase for the flowers, and he felt completely overwhelmed. 
"Ready to go?" you asked, reaching for his hand a minute later. Your eyes were eager and sincere as you gazed up at him. Your fingers were laced with his, and Bob realized if he wanted to get to the next step with you, he needed to get through tonight.
"Yes." He kissed your lips softly, and you leaned against his arm as he walked you out to his truck. 
You spent the drive to the movie theater telling him all about your Friday night playing Dungeons & Dragons, and of course Bob felt more relaxed. He bought the tickets, and you got the popcorn, and when he put his arm around your shoulders, you snuggled against him, so he kept it there. By the end of the movie, the empty popcorn bucket was on the floor, and you had your palm resting on his thigh. 
"Did you like it?" you asked softly while the end credits scrolled. 
"Yes, I liked it," he promised, accepting another of your kisses.
"It's still early. Want to grab a drink somewhere?"
Bob really only knew one place, because he spent an awful lot of his free time there. "Should we hit up the Hard Deck? And then I can take you home and hopefully get another goodnight kiss?"
You had one eyebrow raised as you considered him. "Even after the third date? You're not going to try to make a move?"
Embarrassment flooded his cheeks as he muttered, "Not yet." And then your lips were all over his like he'd answered your questions correctly, even though he felt like his thoughts on the matter were actually probably wrong according to most people.
Eventually the two of you made your way to the bar, but visiting the Hard Deck was a mistake that he didn't see coming. You were tucked perfectly against his side as Bob walked across the parking lot and listened to you tell him how much you liked working for Admiral Bates. Then you ordered two vodka sodas, and Bob had to pluck your credit card from your hand to keep you from paying for them. 
"Hey!" you complained, but he just smiled. 
"I'll give it back later." He was rewarded with another kiss on the cheek, this one very close to his lips. 
"Well, look who's here," Jake drawled obnoxiously over the music from the jukebox and the noise from the crowd. "Bob and his friend."
You rolled your eyes and laughed, but you kept one hand linked with his as the drinks were set down. "Should we say hi to your friends?" you asked, and Bob nodded even though he really wanted to just find a small table on the other side of the room. But Nat looked excited, and the other guys looked annoyed, so Bob thought a short detour might be fun.
"Hey," Bob greeted everyone as you sipped your drink. 
"How was the movie?" Nat asked, elbowing Bradley in the side before he could say anything.
"Pretty good," you replied. "You know, for one of those Academy Award bait films." 
Bob laughed and looked at you. "I liked it a lot, actually." Or maybe he just liked sitting with his arm around you for two hours at a time, but he wasn't going to say that in front of everyone else.
Javy tapped a pool cue on the ground and asked, "Do you like to see a lot of movies?"
You nodded with a bit of an apprehensive look on your face that had Bob just about ready to pull you over to the table that another couple was vacating. "Yeah... I like films," you replied softly. 
And then Jake's jaw dropped open and he slapped the edge of the pool table. "Oh my god!" His green eyes were wide as he looked you up and down from head to toe with a smirk that made Bob want to stand in front of you. "That's why you look so familiar! You're Roxy Luxxe."
"Oh, fuck," Javy said as he dropped the pool cue on Nat's foot, and Bradley choked on his beer. 
But Bob just stood there and watched your posture stiffen and the look of apprehension on your face grow. "Who?" he asked softly, but you wouldn't meet his eyes.
"She's a porn star, Bob!" Jake said a little too loudly as he hooted. "A very memorable one, too. Played up different movie genres. Everyone I Did Last Summer. Sisterhood of the Traveling Sluts. Laid in Manhattan. Some real classics!"
"I retired," you said firmly, holding eye contact with Jake even though your voice sounded strained. "I left the industry five years ago."
"Guys," Nat said with a warning tone as she looked at Bob who was frozen in place, his head swarming with wild thoughts. An adult film star? You? But you worked at Top Gun and played D&D and liked scones. You went on three dates with Bob of all people.
Now Nat was physically moving Javy, Bradley and Jake back toward the game of pool, snapping her fingers at them as they continued to ogle you in your pretty dress. "So..." you whispered, turning toward Bob, looking anywhere but at his face. "That was... yeah..."
He had no idea what to say right now, and the longer he went without saying anything, the worse he felt inside. You used to have a job making adult films? Bob couldn't even handle watching those without blushing and stuttering. You must have had sex with dozens and dozens of different men and probably women too, and Bob suddenly realized he could go home and watch them for himself if he really wanted.
"Right," you said, finally looking at him as your eyes started to fill with tears. "Well... no hard feelings, Bob. I'll see you at work on Monday." Then you set your drink down, covered your mouth with one hand and made a beeline for the door.
Bob looked at the drink in his hand, and then at the one you set down. He left his on the table next to yours and followed you out to the parking lot. He looked around, calling your name and checking to see if you were by his truck, but you didn't respond. You were gone. 
Roxy Luxxe. That name was made up, and he didn't think it suited you as well as your real name. That one was perfect, and he liked it. He liked you. He could drive back to your house, but if you didn't want to talk to him, then what was the point? He'd already embarrassed himself by clamming up. But even worse, he thought he might have embarrassed you. 
"Damn it," he muttered, angry at Jake and all of them for making you feel small, and angry at himself, too. He got in his truck and drove himself home.
----------------------------
Well. You got three perfect dates before it all blew up in your face. Three amazing dates with Bob who was going to look at you like you were no longer worthy of his time now. Sure, you would have told him eventually. After another date or two, you would have brought it up in such a way that perhaps could have been a little bit more flattering or at least slightly tasteful. But of course you should have been expecting this. It wasn't the first time. Getting older only did so much for your face, and it didn't matter how much you changed your hair and makeup: Once Roxy Luxxe, always Roxy Luxxe.
You really thought none of them recognized you. It was almost refreshing that Bob had never heard of your alter ego. He probably never saw a single video of you having sex with Sam Slick or Dickie Divine. He didn't know exactly what your tits looked like, because you'd never taken your shirt off for him in person. He didn't know how you sounded when you faked an orgasm. As you ran down the block and got an Uber, you could hear Bob calling for you.
You weren't ashamed or embarrassed. You were not. This was your life, and you made every decision along the way for yourself. Nobody else. You put yourself through school. You bought the house of your dreams. You had an amazing job at Top Gun now for fuck's sake. But Bob was the first guy you met in a long time who made you think you could have a relationship with someone who wouldn't judge you for your past.
You walked from your Uber into your house and kicked your shoes across the entryway. More tears were filling your eyes, but you didn't want to cry again. Not over this. "But he was sweet," you whispered to your reflection in the hall mirror. His friends were kind of assholes, but he wasn't. Even if he didn't want to be with you now, which was understandable, those three dates were something else. Dungeons & Dragons discussions and coffee and pasta. 
You sighed wistfully at the flowers in your kitchen. Maybe a few more years and you'd look even less like Roxy Luxxe. That might make things easier to navigate. You made yourself a cup of tea and grabbed some crackers and sat out on your back deck where the moonlight reflected off of the ocean. The way Bob had wrapped his arm around you during the movie made it easy to imagine him here with you, keeping you warm. Instead you grabbed a blanket and snuggled in as you thought about how he would have been an excellent boyfriend. 
"You win some, you lose some," you told the night sky. If he was bothered by your past which you had designed so you could have a future, then he wasn't the one for you. You fell asleep outside in your dress, and the rising sun eventually woke you up. When you stretched and stood, the chilly air sent you running inside and toward your shower. 
The memories of last night were hanging out in the periphery of your mind. Going to work tomorrow was going to be awful. If you didn't like Admiral Bates so much, you'd request to work under someone else. But then again, why should you have to go to work feeling bad? Yeah, it was going to sting to see Bob, but it was still your job, and you deserved to be happy. 
You showered and took your time until all of your skin felt fresh and new, and then you threw on some oversized sweats after you moisturized. After breakfast, you could see if one of your friends from D&D was free to hang out. You were finally just about to check your phone to see if Bob had attempted to reach you when you heard a knock at your door. 
Bob's truck was parked in your driveway just behind your car. You could see it through the front window. According to your phone, he tried to call you twice, and he'd send you a handful of texts. But now he was here and knocking again. It was obvious you were home, so you wrenched your front door open and stood before him with your chin held high.
"What do you need?" you asked, already feeling weak at the sight of his pretty blue eyes and his glasses. 
"Hi," he said softly, just staring at you. He looked exhausted, like maybe he hadn't slept. Then he fumbled around in his jeans pocket and pulled out your credit card. "This is yours."
You plucked it from his hand and started to close the door. "Thanks for returning it. I'll see you at work."
Then he said your name. Your real name. "Wait. Please?"
You pressed your lips together. "What do you want, Bob?" 
The soft rise and fall of his solid chest held your attention while he started stuttering. "L-Look. I'm really sorry about last night."
You nodded. "Me too." It wasn't like you wanted to know, but you couldn't stop yourself from asking, "I take it you went home and looked up my videos?"
His eyes went wide as you crossed your arms over your chest. "I didn't."
You actually believed him, but you felt like making yourself hurt anyway. "Your friends have all seen me naked. Watched me getting fucked."
He seemed surprisingly calm as he half shrugged and kind of nodded. "So what?"
As you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, you said, "I'm not ashamed of anything I've ever done, okay? And I would have told you about it after another date or two... before we slept together." When he remained silent you added, "I started out in the adult film industry when I was eighteen. I quit when I was twenty five. I just turned thirty last month, and I guess I was silly for thinking enough time had passed. But last night was a prime example of why I haven't even tried to date anyone. Ever, really."
Bob was gaping at you now. "Not ever? But you're... you're so..."
"I know," you said, cutting him off before he could finish. "I'm hot enough to do porn, but nobody wants to date me." 
You started to close the door again, but he scrambled. "N-No, that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say you're flawless. A-And I shouldn't have let you leave the bar like that last night."
Your fingers loosened on the door, and soon it was drifting away from you, opening wider for Bob as he stood there with an eager expression. God, you just really liked him. And he seemed like he was being sincere. "What would you have done differently last night?" you whispered. 
He started to reach for you before tucking his fingers in his jeans pocket. "I would have taken your hand in mine as soon as I saw tears in your eyes." You bit your lips as he added, "And I would have told you that I like you so much. And if you wanted to leave, then I would have driven you home right away and walked you to your door."
He liked you so much. If there was a chance that Bob could be the kind of guy who still liked you with your past as Roxy Luxxe but also wasn't just trying to get in your pants and meet her for himself, then you wanted to give him a shot. "What would you have done after you walked me to my door?"
He was breathing deeper like he was nervous, and you wanted to touch him. "I would have asked you for that goodnight kiss that I'd been hoping for all day."
You were rushing for his arms, clearly surprising him in the process, but he held onto you as you gave him just the softest kiss. "I would have let you have it." Bob's hands found their way to the most respectful spot on your back, and you kissed him a little deeper. 
As soon as you broke the kiss, his fingers flexed against your back, and he said, "I want to go on another date with you. A bunch more. But I want you to be sure about me. I don't really care about Roxy Luxxe. I'm sure she was lovely, but I like you." You laughed. You couldn't help it. And he smiled as he asked, "Maybe you can think about it today and let me know at work tomorrow?"
"Okay."
He nodded and let out the breath he was holding. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."
Your back felt cold where his hands used to be as you watched him walk back to his truck. He waved to you as he pulled out of your driveway, and you waved back with a different feeling in your heart than you had twenty minutes ago.
---------------------------
Bob was disappointed to find he would be in the air on Monday. When he arrived on base, he changed into his flight suit instead of his khaki uniform, wondering what that would mean when it came to seeing you. He'd slept poorly, wondering what your answer would be, hoping you'd say yes to another date.
"Hey, Bob," Jake drawled as Bob zipped up his flight suit. "How was your night with Roxy Luxxe?" He had a devilish smirk on his face, and Bob's skin was crawling. All of the other guys were looking at him now, and he knew his face was beet red. 
"I guess she was as good as she looks on film if she rendered you speechless," Jake added with a laugh. 
"Whoa, no," Javy said, shaking his head at Jake before looking at Bob. "Cut it out, man."
Bob counted to five, took a deep breath and then raised his forearm, and at least Jake had the decency to look panicked. Bradley stepped into the fray as Bob used his arm on Jake's chest to push him back against the lockers. Sure, Jake was more muscular, but Bob was no slouch, and he had a couple inches on him. "Don't call her that again. Don't even talk about her. While you're at it, don't look at her either."
Jake raised one eyebrow and nodded slightly, and Bob released him, walking right out of the locker room and making a quick detour to the classroom. But you weren't there. He ran his hands through his hair before he headed outside to find Nat. 
"Hey, there you are," she said gently. "You okay? After the bar and everything?"
"I'm fine," he replied, still looking around. "Have you seen her?"
"Mmhmm," she hummed, pointing behind Bob, and he whirled around in time to see you walk out of the tower with Warlock and Cyclone. You looked as pretty as you always did, and Bob found himself wanting you the same way today as he had last week. All of the daydreams about making breakfast together after holding you in his arms all night were still there. So were the thoughts about you snuggled up, laughing on his couch. But now he could also imagine taking walks on the beach where you lived.
Your gaze met his, and he watched you excuse yourself from the admirals before heading his way. Nat squeezed his bicep, and muttered good luck before making herself scarce, and then Bob was standing there with you a respectable three feet in front of him. 
"Lieutenant Floyd."
He smiled softly. "Good morning."
"So..." you began, looking down at his boots and pressing your lips together. "I'm free on Wednesday night. Or pretty much all day Saturday." Your eyes trailed up his body until you were nervously examining his face. "What did you have in mind for our fourth date?"
He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He'd been so apprehensive, afraid you were going to tell him to beat it, he hadn't bothered to come up with an actual date idea. "Cooking dinner at my place?" he blurted out.
You nodded like that sounded good to you. "Wednesday night then?"
He couldn't remember if he already had plans, but if he did, he'd cancel them immediately. "Yes. Wednesday. The day after tomorrow. Wednesday."
Your soft laughter filled him up as you turned and started to walk away, giving him just one word. "Wednesday."
--------------------------
You showed up to Bob's place with just a bottle of wine. He promised to take care of the rest. An hour later, a completely homemade pizza with fresh mozzarella and herbs was baking in the oven, and you had your arms draped around his neck. His lips tasted like the pinot noir the two of you had started drinking while you made the pizza, and his body felt strong and sure. As of right now, you thought you'd made the right choice by coming here.
"I really like you," he whispered for the third time this evening, and you believed him. You liked yourself. Why shouldn't he? 
"I like you, too, Bob." You reached up and adjusted his glasses before letting your fingers trail back through his hair. As his hands slid slowly down to your hips, it was easy to imagine how he might be in bed. Authentic. Meticulous. Earnest. Just like he was at work. The thought thrilled you to no end, but you were also afraid of the way you'd feel afterwards if you rushed it just to get the first one out of your system. So you let him hold you like you were important. 
The timer buzzed, and Bob laughed as you jumped further into his arms. You buried your face against his neck. "It's not funny." But you were laughing, too, and his lips met your hair. "Okay, it's kind of funny."
His stomach was growling, so you slowly pulled yourself free of his arms so he could put on his oven mitts. "Looks good," he remarked, but your gaze was fixed on him. "What do you think, Honey?" 
Bob's eyes went wide as he set the tray down, like he couldn't believe what he'd said. Your heart was absolutely thundering in your chest. "Looks good," you whispered in agreement. You hadn't looked at it. You were sure it was fine. You'd eat anything anyway. But he called you Honey, and you didn't mind it one bit.
You shared the pizza side by side on his couch along with the rest of the bottle of wine, and Bob listened to you tell him about your friends you meet up with on Fridays. And then he told you about his deployment as he finished the last few drops of wine. 
"I never really talk about this with anyone but Nat. This is nice," he said softly.
"Is it lonely?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper as he set down his glass and looked at you. 
You didn't want to rush him, because you could tell what he was going to say was important. And it was. His voice was a little rough as he looked at you and said, "Somehow it's lonelier when I come home. It's worse than being on an aircraft carrier in that I can't really have anything for myself here. There's nothing waiting for me. And a lot of the time, I feel like it would be too much to ask someone to do that. To wait for me. It would be a lot for someone to accept."
When you crawled onto his lap, he didn't stop you. And when you tilted his face up to make him look at you, his cheeks flushed pink, but his hands found your hips again. "I understand exactly how you feel." 
Then you kissed him, and you didn't stop for probably hours or maybe days. It felt that good. When you ended up beneath his warm body, you were so happy he came to your house on Sunday morning with your credit card. "Bob," you whimpered, and that seemed to bring him back from wherever his head was while he kissed his way down your neck and along your chest. His hair was a mess from your fingers, and his lips were a little puffy from the kisses, and you were pretty sure he wouldn't let you down again even if his friends were idiots.
You'd broken the spell, but he didn't seem to mind as he stood and pulled you to your feet. "It's getting late. We have work in the morning. Let me walk you to your car?"
At this rate, you were afraid you'd let him do anything he wanted, because he held your hand the whole way there. And he kissed you just right and told you he'd love to spend part of Saturday with you.
"Come over," you told him, and he promised he would.
----------------------------
It was chilly as Bob watched the sunset over the ocean from your back deck, but his body was warm from the combination of having you and your fleece blanket wrapped around him. You fit perfectly in his arms. Frankly, you seemed to fit pretty perfectly in his life. He wouldn't mind spending all of his Saturdays like this, listening to your gaming recap from the night before while you occasionally kissed the side of his neck. Your fingers were laced with his, and when you asked if he wanted to share a bottle of wine you got when you were in Napa Valley, he responded with a different question. 
"Is there any chance you'd want to be my girlfriend?" You shivered in his arms, so he wrapped you up a little tighter. "I can't stop thinking about you being the one waiting for me to get home from a deployment."
You didn't speak right away which made him apprehensive. He'd somehow been the one to push things too fast. This was something he'd never managed to do before. You tightened your grip on his hand as you said, "Bob... people are going to recognize me. It's going to happen sometimes, no matter what I try to do about it, and I-"
He cut you off with a kiss. "I don't care about that, Honey." Then more kisses. The bottle of wine in your kitchen was left forgotten as you carefully slipped one leg over Bob's lap and sat straddling him. You kept the blanket wrapped snug around both of you, your body nestled against his as your foreheads met. "I just really like you."
The sun had disappeared below the horizon. Everything was pink and purple and dusky and dreamy as your cheek nudged his glasses making him smile. "If you think you can handle being my boyfriend, then I'm not going to try to stop you."
Heart pounding, he asked, "So is that a yes?"
"Yes." Your kisses were slow and soft, and Bob kept chasing the smile on your lips, because he couldn't get enough. With his eyes closed, all he could hear was the ocean below and the soft sounds you made. All he could feel was your body everywhere. You smelled familiar. You tasted good. 
As you ran your fingers through his hair, your other hand trailed down to his shoulder, along his bicep and then across his chest. When Bob dared to let his hands dip from your waist to your hips and butt, you scooted a little bit closer. He realized when your fingers skimmed his abs that he had an erection. 
Embarrassed, he tried to break the kiss and move his hands, but as soon as he started to move, you pulled away first. In the dying light, he could see your wide eyes and the alluring rise and fall of your chest. Part of your lace bra strap was showing, and your nipples were obviously hard. His cock throbbed in his jeans as you asked, "Do you want to stop?"
He knew you could read the desire on his face. When he started to shake his head, you rubbed yourself against his jeans where he was hard for you. "No," he grunted, head tipping back as he panted. "I don't want to stop."
"Good," you whispered next to his ear, lips barely grazing him. "Neither do I." You took his hands in both of yours and brought them back up to your body, encouraging him to touch every curve.
He gasped your name as he watched you slowly rolling your hips against him, seemingly in no hurry as you bit your lip. When he reached for the hem of your shirt, you didn't stop him, and he tossed it aside. Your body looked magical in the twilight, and as he reached for your bra clasp, realization hit him. 
You were used to a certain caliber of partner for these kinds of activities. Standards he probably couldn't meet. "You're hesitating again," you whispered, voice breaking a little bit on the last word. "If you don't think you want to do this with me, I completely understand, Bob."
It was getting difficult to read your expression in the darkness, but when you stopped touching him and pulled your arms to your sides, he started to panic. "It's not that," he promised. "But you've been with... p-professionals. Guys who know what they're... doing." He ran his hands through his own hair. "And I'm not the most experienced. I've only had two partners."
"Oh, Bob," you moaned, and his cock ached at the sound. He wanted you. His whole body was screaming for it, and then he watched as you unhooked your own bra and let it slide down your arms and fall from your fingers. Your body was flawless, back arched, every curve designed to make him crazy. He made a sound somewhere between a groan and a whine as you leaned in closer and kissed him. "You'll be so much better."
Your bare skin was everywhere as the blanket slipped from around you. Bob's hands splayed across your back to keep you warm, but the supple feel of you had him thrusting against your core as he gingerly ran his thumb along the side of your breast. "So much better!" you whispered before pulling his bottom lip between yours.
He was still a little nervous, throbbing against you in his pants like a teenager as he cupped your breast in his rough palm. When you trailed your lips down his neck, he said, "I just want to be good enough for you."
Bob was thankful it was dark and you couldn't see him blushing as you nipped his earlobe and giggled. "Bob. You're better, because you're real. And you're turning me on, because we're not faking anything." You moved your right hand down between your bodies and squeezed his cock through his jeans as you sucked on his neck. "There's nothing fake about this."
He was gasping as he reached for your hand. "Honey." He couldn't take too much more teasing, or at this rate, he'd finish before his pants were off. "Can we go inside?"
You were off his lap and reaching for him with both hands, pulling him to his feet and closer to you. "My bedroom sound good?"
"Yes." 
It was honestly difficult to walk. You led him through the sliding glass door and inside where the soft lighting somehow made your topless body look even more stunning. You brought him down the short hallway to your room, walking backwards and looking up at him with a smirk as you unzipped his jeans. He made another unintelligible noise as he watched the way your breasts swayed and bounced with each movement. 
Your bedside lamp provided the only light, and Bob was still looking around, trying to get his bearings, when you pulled his shirt and undershirt off. "Oh," you gasped, running your palms up his flat stomach to his slightly broader chest. "God." He couldn't fathom that you liked what you saw and felt enough to leave you panting his name, but you definitely were. Then your hand was down the front of his unzipped jeans, and he grinned as you tried your best to wrap your hand around his length, your eyes growing wide. "Bob."
And now he wasn't really nervous, because this actually felt really easy and good with you. You were giving him all the queues that you wanted more. You were kissing him as you stumbled to the bed. You were trying your best to get your hand around his cock, but you couldn't. He picked you up and hauled you up to the pillows, and you squealed. All he could see was your beautiful smile as you kissed him over and over, only pulling away to run your nose along his cheek and whisper his name. 
He watched you shimmy out of your yoga pants and underwear and push them aside, and it was no wonder you were able to make a career out of using your body the way you did. But if most of that was just acting, then he wasn't going to let you down now. He watched as your head tipped back, and you pressed yourself up against his hands when he gently squeezed your breasts. Mesmerized by all of this, he let his hands drift down over your ribs and along your sides until he was met by your hips.
Bob worked his hands slowly back up your body and down again, pausing to press his lips to your breasts as you arched for him again. You felt soft, and you were sensitive, running your bare foot up and down his leg as you whimpered. When he squeezed your hips again, he let his gaze fall below your belly button.
His voice was soft and deep as he asked, "Is it okay if I taste you, Honey?"
You instantly spread your legs a little wider, grabbed him by his hair, and said, "Please."
---------------------------
Bob's hands were huge, with thick veins and graceful, calloused fingers. All he was doing was touching you and kissing you, and you were very fucking worked up. This was already a treat, just being with a guy who wasn't grabbing at you and trying to shove his cock in your mouth. But it was more than that. It was the soft tone he used when he said your name and the way he was looking at you. 
Gentle but strong. That was how you'd describe your newly minted boyfriend. You smiled at him as he stroked his fingers down your sides. You hadn't had a boyfriend in years, and Bob was so sweet and handsome, it was absolutely outrageous. 
"Is it okay if I taste you?"
All of that and he wanted to go down on you? "Please." Your voice was needy, and your body was so ready for him. You eased your thighs further apart so he could see all of you, and you let your fingers tangle in his soft hair. You were so excited, and when the wire rim of his glasses brushed the inside of your thigh, you shivered with pleasure. 
Then his lips met your pussy, and you almost went through the fucking ceiling. Those big hands were at your waist, holding you in place on the bed as he licked up along your slit, slowly tasting every inch before he hummed softly. You wanted to watch, but you could barely lift your head off of the pillow as he licked up again and again before kissing your clit. 
When you managed to prop yourself up on one elbow, you got a great view of his big cock hanging out of his unzipped jeans when he lifted his head away from your body. "Does it feel good?" he asked, and you laughed. He pulled away from you further, concern on his face as you started to reach for him.
Your nails scraped along the day's worth of stubble on his cheek as you sat up and kissed him, tasting yourself. You licked at his lips and chin, cleaning up the wetness before you whispered. "It feels better than good."
A few seconds later, you were on your back again, legs over his shoulders as he ate your pussy with fervor. All of your nerve endings were singing his praises. He had you spread with his rough thumbs, and when he looked up at you, even his nose was wet. Your hands were fisted at your sides while you gently rolled your hips against his mouth and whined at the perfect feel of him. "Shit. Fuck," you gasped. He sucked on you with just the right amount of pressure, and your toes were literally starting to curl. "Bob!" 
All you got in response was another hum of pleasure that made you squeal followed by some seriously lewd, wet sounds. His broad shoulders pushed against the backs of your thighs, and you felt him teasing at your opening with the tip of one finger. Tongue circling your clit, he glanced up at you over his crooked glasses. His cheeks were pink, and there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead as you reached for his hair again. "I want you to fuck me."
"Okay," he agreed, nodding his head like he hadn't brought you close with his mouth. He looked a little dazed and pussy drunk, and you thought you could fall in love with that expression on his handsome face. 
"Come here," you whispered, kneeling so you could kiss him. "You taste like me," you added, licking his cheek and chin. "And I love it."
"Honey," he growled, and when you looked down, you could tell he was aching. You pushed him onto his butt and helped him the rest of the way out of his jeans and snug briefs, his thick cock bouncing for you. Then you looked at him there in just his socks and glasses, and your entire body clenched with a need you'd never known before. 
You took his cock in both hands, leaned down and kissed away all of his precum while every muscle in his abs and both legs tensed up. "Holy shit," he gasped. When you tugged on his shoulders, he moved with you, covering your body with his own. His weight and warmth against your bare skin felt essential to your happiness, and when you kissed him, he said, "And you taste like me." 
His cheeks flushed a pretty pink as you ran your tongue along his lips. You couldn't get enough. He shifted his body slightly, and his cock came to rest on your slick clit, making you moan into his mouth. You arched away from him, moving your hips back and forth a few inches at a time, using his body to bring yourself pleasure as you clung to his arms. "God, Bob. You haven't even been inside me yet, and I'm a mess." 
The veins in his neck and forehead were more prominent as he panted, a bead of his sweat rolling down to the tip of his nose. You licked it away as you shifted your hips so he was positioned at your entrance. He was thick, and even though you were soaking wet now, you had to use one hand to help guide him. You shook your head from side to side, your body taking him slowly. He buried his forehead to your neck, and the bite of his glasses against your collar bone kept you grounded. 
"Honey," he moaned, clutching at your hips as he finally, finally bottomed out. You were completely full, already clenching around him softly and enjoying the rough feel of his trimmed hairs against your clit. He thrusted a few times like he couldn't help himself, and you kissed his forehead. "Am I hurting you?"
His neck was a little slick against your fingertips. You'd been fucked too rough or without enough lubrication to the point of it being painful several times before, but this was the exact opposite. "Bob, you feel incredible." He lifted his head and kissed your lips, rewarding you with another thrust. Your legs tangled with his as you pushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed him harder. 
His lips found their way to your neck and breasts, and his thrusts started coming quicker, but every smooth movement left you gripping at him, your body begging for more as you whimpered and whined. He murmured your name against your skin, sucking on your nipples until you were seeing stars. And each thrust filled you somehow better than the last. And every movement left you grinding your clit up for more. 
You were going to come. You were going to come so hard. You could feel it. The buildup was delicious. Lips and stubble and glasses on your breasts. Hands on your hips. Bob everywhere.
"I'm not wearing a condom. Honey," he panted. "I'm not wearing a condom."
"It's okay," you whined loudly, suddenly gasping and clawing at his shoulders for leverage. "You can come wherever you want."
He chose inside you. And you came, hard and long and loud, hands on his face while you kissed him. You knew he was going to be so much better. You called it from the start. From when he surprised you by asking you out for coffee. He was immediately better than anything else you anticipated for yourself, and even when he fumbled, he recovered. You ran your lips along his cheek and back to his ear and whispered, "You're so much better than faking it."
He rolled both of you onto your sides, facing each other while he was still deep inside you. "Please don't ever do that. Fake it," he said, voice deep and raspy as he ran his rough palm along your cheek. "I want to know I'm good enough for my girlfriend." 
You smiled and tucked your head under his chin, and he wrapped his arm around you. His skin was warm beneath your lips, and his words were soft and gentle. When he climbed out of bed, he asked where he could find a washcloth, and he came back with it a minute later, ready to help you get cleaned up. He even held your robe out for you and waited while you used the bathroom, but you did that quickly, finding you wanted to be right next to him as much as possible.
Bob looked delicious in his briefs and undershirt, and you wrapped your arms around his waist as you asked, "Do you want to go back out under the blanket? With the bottle of wine? We could look at the stars. Listen to the ocean before bed."
He kissed your forehead. "As long as I'm with you."
-------------------------
Six months later...
After eight weeks away, Bob was excited to get home. He really hoped this was the start of his deployments feeling lonelier than the time between them did. Especially since he was going home to you and the house where he moved all of his stuff as soon as you asked him to live with you. He couldn't wait to hold you all night and hear all about your Dungeons & Dragons campaign and ask how you'd been enjoying work.
As soon as the aircraft carrier started docking in San Diego, he was at one of the lower railings along with the other aviators, and he spotted you immediately. You were bouncing around at the front of the crowd shouting his name and waving like a lunatic, and he had missed you so much. "Hey, Honey!" he shouted, and you just jumped higher. 
"Damn, Floyd. That's your girl?" asked one of the guys he'd flown with.
"Yeah," he replied, never taking his eyes off you. "That's my girl."
Six and a half minutes later, he was practically running down the long ramp with his duffle on one shoulder to the spot where you were waiting for him. 
"Bob!" you screeched as he scooped you up in your tiny dress and kissed you until you were as breathless as he was. "I missed you. I love you so much, and I missed you."
"I want to go home, Honey," he said, kissing you again. "Take me home."
"Gladly," you gushed, grabbing his hand and leading him toward his own truck. "I have big plans for your big cock," you announced to everyone around you, and Bob felt his cheeks warm up. "Well, and the rest of you, too. We can make a pizza together and eat out on the deck."
"Anything you want," he promised, tossing his bag in the truck bed and pushing you against the door. "And I love you, too." 
You only let him kiss you for a few seconds, before you were pushing him away. "I know you do. Let's go home." You held his hand on the short ride, and when he pulled in the driveway, you yanked him right out and led him inside the house. 
This felt incredible, knowing you wanted him as badly as he wanted you, running hand in hand to the bedroom. Then you stopped short and turned to face him as he bumped into you with a laugh. "You know how you're kind of your alter ego right now when you're in your uniform? Lieutenant Floyd?"
"Yeah?" he whispered, leaning down to kiss you, but your lips curled into a smile as you backed away.
"Well... I thought you might like to meet my alter ego?" you asked softly, easing that little dress up to your hips and along your torso before pulling it over your head. You were standing there in the tiniest black thong and bra set known to mankind. "Do you want to meet Roxy Luxxe?"
Bob just nodded and reached down to palm himself through his khaki pants as he gaped at you and grunted, "Uh huh." If Roxy was just a playful extension of his girlfriend, then yes, he wanted to meet her. 
You bit your lip and coaxed him toward the bed, running your hands down your body to your hips where you played with your underwear. "Good. Because she wants to meet you, too. And she wants you to know she's only going to be available exclusively for Bob Floyd's enjoyment."
---------------------------
Thanks for reading this long one-shot! I wanted Bob to get to fuck a former pornstar, because nobody deserves such a treat the way Bob does! But then I got attached to them and had to make it special. Bob and the artist formerly known as Roxy Luxxe are adorable together. Thanks to @mak-32 @beyondthesefourwalls @thedroneranger and @sylviebell for your help!
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silencesscreams · 11 months ago
Note
"is there any chance i can fix this?" where james and reader are best friends since birth but he begins to pull away and spend less time with her in favor of the boys, so she just cuts him out of her life and after a while he doesn't know how to deal with it anymore. hiiiii
sad beautiful tragic
james potter x fem reader (angst)
a/n: sorry about any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language (also i’m pretty bad at writing angst but i tried my best) also immediately thought of the title because of the taylor swift song, so hope you don’t mind the association. also the first kiss part came to my mind because of a tiktok i saw a few weeks ago but i don’t really remember who’s it was to credit them
warnings: friendship distancing, kissing, fighting, cursing, a bit short (sorry), happy ending
“i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry, honey, please. is there any chance i can fix this? just tell me, please”
you knew james potter and he knew you. knowing meaning comprehending each other, meaning that you stood by each others side for as long as you can remember.
he was your first friend. he was your neighbor and you both grew up together, it was expected that you both would know each other better than anyone.
sure, it felt different when you both started hogwarts and suddenly he had new friends, but so did you. you spent the time you could together, always saving a bit of your days for each other.
during the sixth to seventh year summer vacation, he had spent the whole summer with you, you both would hang out all the time.
until he kissed you.
it was the last day of summer and you both had spent the evening in his room. you were talking about a book you had been reading recently and he listened quietly, like it was the most interesting thing he had ever heard of. until you paused for a brief moment and he moved closer to you. you were sat on the floor with him, the carpet tickling your legs as you played with the fluffy yarn under you.
“honey” he said, you looked at him, doe eyed waiting for him to continue. “a phrase. two words, six letters, two vowels. guess.” he said lowly whilst looking at your lips. your mind went blank.
one vowel for each word. you still didn’t get it.
“what are the vowels?” you whisper back, he smiles.
“i and e” he answers, not taking his eyes from off of you for a second. you knew.
“kiss me?” and so he did. his lips met yours abruptly, his hands grabbed your hips and yours went straight to the back of his neck. it completely changed the way you ever saw him, hell, it completely changed your expectations to a kiss. it was better than anything you’d ever experienced and you loved it.
when you got back to school, it seemed like he didn’t do that, actually, it seemed like he didn’t even talk to you the whole summer.
sure, he did casually say hello in the halls and you might’ve shared one or two conversations, but what the hell? he kisses you like that and expects you to just forget about it? that was the most fucked up thing anyone could’ve done. as the semester went on, your mind was absolutely torturing you over that kiss.
it made you overthink every single thing you ever did around him. but maybe he didn't have time, maybe he was really busy with his studies and quidditch, right? that was probably it.
he saw you every once in a while, said an awkward hi or whatever that thing signaling head thing he did was.
the crush you had developed for him didn’t help at all. it made you crave his presence in your life, even now that you hated him more than you ever thought you possibly could. you missed his pet names for you, ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ sounded so amazing coming out of his mouth.
but from the moment he started to ignore you, you decided he was absolutely done. he was never going to see a smile coming from you ever again, he was never going to get another hello, nothing. james potter didn’t deserve a single thing from you.
your friends agreed. they thought he was a piece of shit and said you should’ve cut him off a long time before.
life went on without him, you barely thought about him. your studies were going well, everything was great.
christmas break came up and when you saw james at the train station, you were pissed. you knew he was going to be there for christmas dinner, he was always invited alongside with his family. you didn’t know how he was going to act then, was he going to pretend it never happened?
when you got home, your mother instantly started asking you what you wanted for dinner and you were glad to be home, you just hated that he was in the house next to yours.
a few nights after you both got home, you were invited for a date by steven, who worked at a bookstore near the city park. you said yes, he took you to see a shitty movie and tried to kiss you after dropping you off at your front porch. you dodged it and gave him a good night kiss on the cheek. james saw it all.
once the date left, you heard him yelling from his porch:
“who’s that?” you ignored him and went inside, sure, you weren’t going to see steven again but james didn’t deserve to know that.
on christmas day you went to the potter’s for dinner, your parents insisted for you to go, even though you tried to fake being sick. sirius was there too, you politely greeted all of them and didn’t bother to answer james’ “hey”.
when you sat at the side of the living room table james sat next to you, even though that wasn’t his usual seat. you played with your dress awkwardly and ate less, being there was making you so irritated you lost your appetite.
after taking a bite from your dessert, you thanked euphemia for the food and told your parents you were feeling a bit sick and that you were heading home, telling them to enjoy the rest of their night.
as you were opening the door to head out, you heard footsteps behind you. you knew james was there and you had no interest to talk with him.
“don’t” you simply stated, stepping out and shutting the door lightly on him, he followed you during the small walk between both your houses.
“hey!” he shouted, trying to get your attention. you were about to shut the door to your house on his face, but he held it with his foot, going into your house.
he pulled you by your wrist but you tugged it away from him.
“don’t touch me!” you shouted at him, staring into his eyes for the first time that night.
“now you can talk to me, huh? ‘the fucks up with you?!” he shouts back, brows furrowed. you couldn’t believe him, what a fucking nerve he had.
“whats up with YOU?!” you step closer to him, throwing your keys on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. “you’ve ignored me for the whole semester and now you wanna talk?” he had never seen you like this. you had never been this angry at anyone or anything around him.
“i’m sorry?” he had no reaction, he knew he was wrong, he just couldn’t deal with it. with anything. he didn’t know what to do after he kissed you, he couldn’t handle any of it. he knew that if he spent more time around you he would fall harder, he couldn’t risk it.
“i’m sorry! now that you don’t have anyone else near for you to talk to, i’m worthy of your attention? i’m so lucky, right?!” your eyes started to tear up, but you held it in, he was not getting to see you cry.
“honey, i’m sorry i didn’t talk much with you these past few months, but i tried to speak with you tonight and you didn’t even bother to answer me!” he ran his hand through his hair, looking at you as you sat down on the couch, staring at your hands.
“you didnt even look at me. the entire fucking night. one lousy ‘hey’ is not trying to do anything” he handed you a piece of paper, it was crumpled up in his jeans’ pocket. you knew he was bad with words, but the paper was written front and back. what was he even trying to do? did he think a letter was enough to fix the damage he had done?
“really? you’re a little too late for this, don’t you think?” you said, looking at him angrily.
“fine, don’t read it then. just keep it, okay?” he knew you were about to cry. it was the worst feeling he had ever felt.
“you don’t get to do this to me, james” you hold back tears once you say it.
“i know, honey, i know” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your face as you try to not melt because of his touch. he kisses you, but this time you pull away.
“no. don’t do this to me” you say, a single tear streaming down your face, he wipes it off but more tears just keep coming
“im sorry, im so sorry for everything i did and-“ you interrupt him.
“could you just try to listen?!” you shout, pulling away from his touch again. “what makes you think that i want this? after all you did, better, all that you didn’t do?! you kiss me and expect me to forget about it? expect me to be okay with you ignoring me all the time just because you kissed me again? i can’t be okay with any of this unless you actually explain to me what happened. i really try to understand you, but all of this doesn’t help!”
“i love you” he says “i have loved you all my life and i didn’t know, after i kissed you it all hit me and i couldn’t trust myself around you anymore, i didn’t want to hurt you so i pulled away, i just didn’t know it would hurt you more like that. i’m sorry, but im here now and i want to show you how much I do love you” he pauses and sits next to you on the couch.
“i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry, honey, please. is there any chance i can fix this? just tell me, please” he wipes the tears from off your face again. you knew he meant it, you just didn’t know how to trust him again.
“i don’t know” you whisper, looking into his eyes, you had never seen him look this sad. you wanted to trust him, you really did, but how could you? how could you know he wasn’t going to pull something like that again?
you couldn’t be sure of anything, you could only hope for the best and be careful. so you gave it a shot.
“come here” you say lowly, pulling him in for a hug. he buried his face in the crook of your neck and gave you small kisses.
“i’m so sorry, baby” he whispered.
“i know” you whisper back, he looks at you and gives you quick kisses all over your face. you can’t help but smile.
it was going to take a while for you to trust him again, but you knew you could.
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sideysvault · 4 months ago
Text
༘˚⋆HC’s of Deadpool and roommate!reader ༘˚⋆
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Pairing: Wade Wilson x gn!reader
Mostly platonic with romantic undertones.
Word count: 519
Warnings: Some foul language and canon typical violence
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• Neither of you cooked very often, so Wade memorized by heart all of your favorite orders in every restaurant, cafe, and bakery in town. He frequently buys you something from them every time you attend to his injuries or do something nice around the house
“Hey, Pool. Can you do me a favor?”
“I would literally murder whoever you asked me to, and take the blame for the crime if that was what it took to please you ”
“Can you wash the dishes?”
“Nope.”
• When you are getting a bit too stressed about work or start self isolating again, He would spontaneously take you to what he liked to call “Roomdates”. They usually involve getting you out of the house to do something fun like the arcade or go karts.
“Stop bleeding all over the floor!. We’d totally be fucked if we had a rug”
“But we don’t own a rug, Pookie”
“Stop fucking calling me that. And stop leaving your filthy body parts around the house. Why do you need them if they are detached?”
“Ok!. Ouchie five thousand”
• You two would engage in constant bickering. You both had strong personalities and were absolute drama queens. Luckily, the fights would usually end when someone would burst out with laughter.
“What are you doing? Virtual sex? It thought I was the disgusting freak”
“It’s asmr you idiot. I’m trying to get some sleep”
“Wow. That is just so sad. Technology these days is getting scary. What a fucking cuckoo world we live in…” (He fell asleep in the first 10 minutes of the video).
• Deadpool would always hype you up when you got well dressed. He tried to get you out of your shell and encouraged you when you went out of your comfort zone.
• Wade is secretly a huge nerd and has made you watch every single Star Wars movie.
• He gets random splurges of energy and cleans the whole house up and down.
• You always remind him to eat at least two times a day and to sleep as much as possible. You would also leave bottles of water around the house so he remembers to drink it. If you were feeling hopeful, you also slid effervescent vitamins in the water bottles.
“I’m basically immortal. sweet cheeks. I don’t know why you are trying to turn me into a green juice girly”
• He would be obnoxious and refer to you as ‘mommy’ in front of other people because Wade knew how embarrassed you’d be if you could hear him.
“Sorry guys, as much as I enjoyed being a crime-fighting shit swizzler, Mommy wants me home by eight o’clock”
• You would always have to put very loud music whenever he is pleasuring himself because he is apparently incapable of being quiet.
• Usually, you don’t wear a bra around the house and he always makes some stupid joke about it.
“Woah, turn off your flashlights. It’s like i'm being blinded by them”
• Your shared home is truly the place where he feels most at ease. And to be honest, you have never felt safer or happier with any other roommate.
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denwritesandcries · 11 months ago
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Take a Breath (and kiss me) – T.C
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Pairing: tara carpenter x fem!reader
Summary: Your girlfriend Tara gets a little clingy when she realizes you haven't kissed her properly in days.
Word count: 2,0k
Content: cursing, fluff, kisses, cuddles, tara being a sad pup, college routine kicking everybody's asses, core four as a family.
Note: First time writing for Tara! Pure fluff cause I’m starting on a new job this week and needed comfort.
English is not my first language.
It's been four days straight since you last kissed Tara.
Not that she was counting, she really wasn't, but now, after an extremely long and tiring day of exams and more exams, it seemed impossible not to feel your absence next to her. The feeling of neediness and loneliness hits her hard when she realizes how long it's been since you two have been together.
Four days. Four whole days of no holding hands or playing with her hair, no hugs, no cuddles and definitely no kisses. Be it on the forehead, the cheek, the shoulders, the hands, or on the lips. Nothing. It's like the universe just decided one day 'nuh-uh, no kisses for Tara Carpenter' and boy that was unfair.
The last time you kissed her – actually kissed her – was on Monday morning, at the beginning of that hellish week, when she woke up too early with the sunlight escaping through a crack in the curtains bothering her eyes, with her whole body completely curled up on top of yours. One of the best ways to wake up, really. The same thing happened to you a short time later, because as much as Tara loves being in your arms, she also can't help but feel restless when she's awake and move a lot, but the way she lights up when you sleepy mumble a good morning to her doesn't make you able to be upset with her for that.
You gave her a slow, lazy kiss, still with that warm aura of sleep remaining.
It was the most she could enjoy of your company before you had to leave in a hurry to escape the scolding Sam would give you both for spending the night having class the next day – even though, you know, you're college students and adults – and get to your own dorm to be ready in time for your first class in the morning.
She would have braved the scolding and made you stay a little longer if she had remembered that exam season was about to start. Unfortunately, this only occurred to her when she had her first taste of it later that day.
See, that was perhaps the thing Tara hated most about her new life as a student in New York: the way the change in routine could easily overwhelm her, and how that made it even worse because you couldn't be around as much as she wanted you to.
You were a year ahead of her and your courses were different, so you didn't have any classes together and your paths barely crossed during the day, which meant the only times she got to see you were on quick runs across campus, barely having time to exclaim a 'hi baby!' before disappearing with stacks of books and notebooks in your arms.
Sure, you exchanged a lot of messages, but it wasn't the same as having a warm body next to her in bed or on the couch. You couldn't even come to the apartment after everything because she was also too tired from her own work to hangout after it.
But Friday had finally arrived and she had enough time to wallow in self-pity until everyone got home. Checking the patterned wall clock that her sister bought when they moved in, Tara realizes that it's already past five pm and the sound of the door opening is the sign that her family has started to come in. She buries her head in the pile of cushions, ignoring the throbbing pain in her temples.
“Ugh, finally." Mindy plops down next to Tara on the other side of the couch, clasping her hands above her head to stretch, “What is this? Why is there a sad, miserable gremlin on our couch?”
She hears Chad's loud laugh coming from the kitchen but can only mutter a 'fuck you' muffled by the cushions she's sunk into, feeling a tap on her calf in response.
Tara wasn't going to put up with any mockery now, not when she was so tired and sleepy and missing you. She would do the same thing she had done the last few days: take a hot shower without giving a shit to Quinn's protests about using all the water, hug Sam when she got home from work in 45 minutes, and accept the offer of a snack when her sister ask if she had already eaten, then she would go to her room, throw herself on the bed and text you goodnight, before completely blacking out until the next day, when she could finally have you all to herself for the entire weekend – and for the rest of the week too. The worst part is over, so screw it, you guys could afford to miss some classes.
“Are you just gonna lay there and give up on existence, lil dude?” Mindy starts again, interrupting the peaceful and only partly distressing silence Tara had settled into as she builds up the strength to stand up.
“Will you shut the hell up?” She bites, grabbing one of the cushions and hitting her friend in the face, “You’re not funny and my head hurt as fuck.”
“Jesus, okay, okay!” Mindy waves her arms in defeat and stands up, “I won’t say anything else then.”
"Great."
“I’m not gonna say–” She takes on a teasing tone, “–that Anika thought that a certain someone was really upset and buried in books all that time in their dorm and that it would be better if they came straight here after class to take a break, but I’m not gonna tell you that.”
"What?" Tara’s expression immediately brightened, “You’re serious? What you–"
“Well, I told my girlfriend to bring your girlfriend. But it's okay, I'm not gonna say any of that.”
Mindy looked extremely smug but Tara chose to spare her another hit in the face for the sake of the information she just received. She lights up and jumps off the couch in a flash, rushing to shower and get ready now that she has a good reason. She hears Chad shouting from the kitchen:
“Girl, I thought you were tired!”
“Right?” Mindy laughs, “Wednesday’s at that age when a girl has only one thing on her mind, Chad.”
This makes her stop: “I don’t look like her!”
She slams the door shut when she hears their laughter increase in response.
If someone asked Tara if it was true that she sat on the side of the sofa closest to the door so she could see the exact moment you arrived, she would vehemently deny it – even though that's exactly what she did – and she would also deny that she deflated a little when the first person to arrive after the twins was Sam with a pizza box in one hand and covering a big yawn with the other.
You and Anika only arrive almost half an hour after Sam, finding Tara already watching you with doe eyes. Your haggard face immediately breaks into a smile, lines of fatigue crinkling in the corners of your eyes.
“There you are, dear,” you cross the room towards her and Tara leans in, even before you touch her, practically purring at the soft kiss you leave on her forehead, “I missed you.”
She melts when you wrap your arms around her, burying her head in your chest, but that's it. A kiss on the forehead and a hug and then you're pulling away again because you and Anika have brought more food that should be placed on the kitchen counter.
It only took this small moment of you going back and forth for everything to come back to Tara with full force. You didn't kiss her.
It's stupid, it's irrational, but her eyes fill with tears even though she can clearly see you from behind, unpacking the groceries and talking to your friends there.
Tara tried to just sit and wait for you to come back as soon as you were done, but patience was never her thing.
“Hm?” You hum when you feel a tug on your hodie's sleeve, looking back to find Tara with a tearful, frustrated expression.
“I had a really long day,” she begins, not quite sure how to ask for what she wants, eyes focused on the floor, “Will you come stay with me?”
Your heart races and your voice immediately softens: “Of course, sweetheart.”
Tara wastes no time in dragging you to her room by your wrist and you can't even react to the warning look Sam throws you over her shoulder.
She perches on your lap the second you sit down on the bed, sighing in relief as she buries her face in your shoulder.
You rest your chin on her head, “Did somethin’ happen?”
“I’m gonna quit college." She moans in defeat against your neck.
You huff a giggle into her hair, “Same, baby.”
Tara pulls away just enough to look at you and the pure love and tenderness in your eyes is more than enough to make the tears come back.
“What? What is it?" You straighten up, worried, tightening your arms around her.
“You haven’t kissed me in four days.”
She blurts out, voice cracking and strangled and you stop.
“Four days?”
Tara nods, “Except for the one on the forehead, you haven’t really kissed me in four days and like, several hours.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?” She frowned. Shit, now she was getting mad at you, “Oh?”
You rush to take her mind off it, pressing a kiss to her lips in which she immediately melts with a soundly sigh of relief.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” you murmur between small pecks distributed on her lips, “I was so caught up in everything that I didn’t even notice.”
Tara still seemed a little upset by your response, but you kissed her again, bringing a hand to her jaw to deepen, feeling your girlfriend's arms entwined around your neck.
When you pull apart this time, you're both out of breath and Tara's face is covered in a soft red glow. You gently draw patterns with your fingers on her hips and lean in, leaving a kiss on her warm cheek.
“I’m sorry, Tar,” you echo, looking deep in her eyes “I’ve missed you so much. How can I make it up to you?”
She pretends to think for a moment, averting her eyes to hide the shiver that runs through her body.
“It's been four days,” she huffs with more annoyance than she actually feels, “I'm a girl who has abandonment issues, you know, it's your obligation to kiss me every day from now on.”
“Noted,” you smile.
“But…” She starts with a mischievous smile, “You could also make me feel better by watching The Babadook with me.”
“No, no, Tara!” You whine, “The noises of that movie freak me out!”
“Oh, I know,” your girlfriend says, blinking innocently, “But I want to do something with you, it's been so long since we watched something together alone and I love you so much.”
"I love you too." You respond instantly.
It only takes a look at those doe eyes and you lose the battle immediately and Tara looks victorious. She knows the power she has over you, the adorable little shit.
She leaves your lap just enough time to pick up the laptop on the table and returns to her place, you pull her back and lie down on the pillows, dragging her against your chest, pulling a blanket from the corner of the bed to cover you both.
“Tests are over,” you say, burying your face in her neck as the movie scene darkens, “The next few weeks are ours now. Just ours.”
Tara giggles when you startle again, sinking further against your body, smelling the hodie you were wearing, the one she got you for your birthday.
“Ours,” she says, “I like how that sounds.”
Tara tries to stay awake as long as possible, even after you fall asleep with your face buried in her neck. She's almost asleep when Sam quietly opens the door, a plate of pizza in hand and an eyebrow raised. The silent question of ‘can she stay the night please?’ is just a formality.
There's no way you're getting out of her league anytime soon.
2K notes · View notes
soobnny · 5 months ago
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dating him | lee know
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❝ come over, the cats miss you ❞
chan | LEE KNOW | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin
if he wasn’t a menace before (impossible btw), he sure as hell is now
this man is relentless
teasing as his love language
just loves riling you up bc he thinks ur reactions are so cute
and he smirks a lot too
if he wasn’t so damn attractive, u would’ve wiped that smirk off his face !!!!!
“wait min, i got a text”
“nice to know you have friends”
u hate him 😭😭😭😭😭
he’s such a little shit that he’s even rilling u up during ur dates
like
laser tag games where he kisses you to distract you before taking you out
HE’S SO MEAN
he’d push you against the wall with a sly smirk and you think you won’t fall for it again, but you do
every single time
u should’ve known better
this is lee “resident cheater in all possible games” minho
anyways
he is also an ass lover ❤️❤️❤️
i’m sorry but u cannot go into a relationship with him without expecting him to always have his hand on ur ass in some way
so in short
the trope is giving u thought he was out of ur league but he’s actually a weirdo
so now u’re dating the Weird Kid
(u wouldn’t want it any other way)
his other love language is acts of service
i said in my chan one that minho also gives Chief Hong from hometown cha3
like tell me i’m wrong
man wife #2
he is ur personal handyman
he’s just good at everything
will most probably only do it for u tho
seungmin: hyung can u fix my sink
minho: no
seungmin catching strays 😂😂
you: babe—
minho: what do you need me to do now
he says it in fake annoyance too
but he’s got his tools in his hand already ready to do whatever u want
obsessed i tell u
he drives u around too
if you have an event, a party, a project, anywhere you need to be
he’ll drive u there
he always makes time
AND he picks you up too like shut up
it could be a party that finishes at 2am and he’s just waiting for your call to pick you up
sometimes, you tell him he can just sleep early bc your friend will give you a ride home
when you get home, look … he’s still awake
he’s been waiting for you to come home this whole time to make sure you’re safe
BUT he doesn’t say anything
the moment he sees you’re alive and breathing (and doesn’t need taking care of), he’s on his way to the bedroom to sleep
when u look around, he’s done the chores already
he just does things to lessen the load that u might have u know
if u’re so stressed with anything, he’d silently clean up ur room or bring u food
so u don’t have to think about that anymore
also the best chef in town btw
he likes cooking together
and by cooking together i mean like he does all the work and u just stay there and keep him company
he can’t risk ur clumsy ass injuring urself
comforts u thru his cooking too
would baby u and feed u when u’re sad
his favorite dates with u are quiet, homemade dinners
just likes being with u and u only
away from everyone else
as niki would say, i don’t like anyone except sometimes you
it’s in moments like those that he just unwinds and shows u his softer sides
he’s honestly just so gentle and soft
he looks at u with stars in his eyes
ugh such an attentive listener too
sometimes u think he isn’t listening, but he’s got it all memorized
“yeah u mentioned it on our date 3 months ago”
like damn
anyways, moving on
his pet names for u give olden times
honey, darling, jagi
but also loser, idiot, stupid girl (endearingly)
so u two are giving me old married couple
u’d both wake up early and have coffee or tea together and just talk abt anything
also this is far into the future but like
sneak peek at minho as ur husband
i think u two would be the type to have a garden
like gardening would be ur little hobby
he grows fruits and vegetables
u beg to grow flowers
OK BACK TO BOYFRIEND MINHO
randomly sending selfies thru the day
THOSE selfies
u know what i’m talking abt
forces u to send selfies back
(ur photos are all saved and hidden in his phone but he will never tell u that)
oh u’ve also become his cats’ mom btw
one of ur favorite errands to do is going grocery shopping for his cats
u’d always end up buying them a gift
“u’re the reason my cats are spoiled”
SUUUUUUURE minho suuuuuuure
cat fashion shows
like dress to IMPRESS
(btw idk why but i feel like u could force him to play roblox with u)
he also uses his cats to lure u to visit him btw
“soonie misses u, u’re being a bad mother”
it’s just him who misses u let’s be real
and if ur favorite thing to do with him is cat shopping, his is walking by the han river with you
he loves walking
esp when it’s with you
just a peaceful walk tbh like yall don’t even have to say anything
tho sometimes when he’s feeling playful, he’d suddenly play tag with you
ends with both of u just sitting by the river and looking at the lights and the stars and holding hands or maybe ur head on his shoulder
damn wish that were me fr
when u go home, u watch some variant of a trashy reality tv show together
u’ve basically seen it all
but if anyone were to ask u what happened in those shows, yall wouldn’t know
u two were too busy just making out instead of paying attention
or falling asleep
old married couple i’m telling u
expect to also be dragged into his camping
when he has particularly long days off, he’d propose going camping together
ah, the beauty of warm bonfires and quiet conversations
he’d take good care of you the whole time
like yessss do your job as a man and fix up this entire camping site
and he does
tho, aside from camping, he’d also suggest hiking to take in the view of the mountains and the pretty sky
u’d wake up early on both occasions just to watch the sun rise
in contrast to these very productive activities, sometimes minho also just loves lazy sundays where you just cuddle for the entirety of the day
what more could he want
u and his cats with him
that’s honestly just the dream
good luck cat mom
have fun acting like an old married couple with lee know
he is the dream man
nonchalant to anyone else except u
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note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
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lilylovestowrite · 4 months ago
Note
We all know that Aventurine's love language is definitely gift giving! So I would like to request aventurine spoiling his s/o with so much money and gifts. At first reader was thankful and also flustered with all of the gifts he provided for her, but later reader started to become annoyed cause he's been spoiling them too much, so one day they decided to text aventurine about this matter. They only just called his name and he already thought that they needed money so he sent the money. Reader was surprised at first but then got annoyed and decided to scold him in the chat (to which aventurine didn't take them seriously and even teases them, finding amusement with his lover's anger) make this a playful banter between the two and at the end, aventurine decided to meet up with them to pamper them, but this time, with affection ✨
MUST BE FUNNY, IN A RICH MAN'S WORLD ୨♡୧
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PAIRING ୨♡୧ (Aventurine x GN! Reader)
WARNINGS ୨♡୧ None
SYNOPSIS ୨♡୧ You decide to confront your boyfriend over his overzealous spending habits. 
WORD COUNT ୨♡୧ 1.4k
A/N ୨♡୧ Thank you for the request! I love Aventurine SO MUCH. I want to hold him and cherish him but I think he deserves to be thrown down a flight of stairs because he’s such a brat. I am so normal about this man.
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Divider by @/cafekitsune
‘I saw you eyeing this crystal swan the other day. When you and I get married, I’ll buy the whole store and decorate our venue with them if it’s to your liking- Kakavasha’
You are going to kill your boyfriend. 
You are going to kill your boyfriend over a Swarovski Swan on your bedside table. And thirty bottles of the same Dior perfume you wore once around him. And every piece of designer clothing he’s gifted you. And that one time he rented out a whole cruise ship just to play tag with you over a moonlit river. Well, perhaps not the last one. You liked the idea, the execution? A little overkill.
But this? Overkill can’t even begin to explain how much Aventurine has been spending on you recently. Just before you started dating, he would regularly spoil you with large bouquets of your favourite flowers and a few lovely pieces of jewellery. It was sweet at first: you remember blushing and hiding your flustered face behind your palm, only for him to kiss your hand and usher it away. “Stop, you look super cute when you’re flustered,” he’d say, but now, a deep pit of shame hollows the joy out of every gift he gives you. He gives, and gives, and spoils you, but what do you have to offer? 
You do appreciate his gestures, and it feels lovely to be kitted out in the finest gossamer, or the softest of silks. The aroma of expensive perfume smells less chemical-ly and manufactured compared to your old bottles. There isn’t a day that goes by where your flower vases in your house aren’t filled with high-end flowers. It’s affection, sure, but, you wish he didn’t feel as if your love is something to be bought. 
With Aventurine, you have to be careful with your communication. He may play off other people’s rude comments about his origin or his affiliation with the IPC. Other people’s opinions don’t matter. But you know how much he cherishes you, and you don’t fit into the bracket of ‘other people’. If you seem too dismissive of his efforts, you fear that he may feel rejected. Picturing his sad face drooping makes you only want to let him coddle you, but you can’t allow this to happen anymore. You ponder your text carefully, before hitting send. 
You: 
Kakavasha. 
Peacock <3: 
My love? 
Are you upset with me?
I’m so sorry, let me handle it. 
Oh, wow. That was a quick fix. You sigh in relief and put your phone down, allowing yourself to get more comfortable in the covers. Another ping erupts from your phone, and the notification nearly makes you turn around and sob. 
Peacock <3 has sent you 1,000,000 Credits
You: 
STOP SENDING ME MONEY
I’M NOT YOUR SUGAR BABY FFS 
So much for being ‘careful with your communication’, but 1,000,000 credits is insanity! Does he think he can buy you off? You sigh and watch the text bubbles load as he types. 
Peacock <3:
Darling, what do you mean?
I want to spoil you! 
And if I’ve done something wrong, I’ll make it up to you!
You:
Then. Maybe. ASK
‘What’s wrong?’
BEFORE SENDING ME A SHITLOAD OF CREDITS
Peacock <3:
What’s wrong, angel? 
You reread your messages and realise how aggressive you're coming off, so you decide to talk to him face to face. Surely, his suave tongue and pretty face won't distract you from the matter at hand. Right?
You:
Let’s call.
You have started a call with Peacock <3
“Kakavasha, stop sending me money!” You hiss the second he picks up the phone. It’s the early morning, and hues of liquid sunlight paint your lover’s skin in light gold. Streaks of light coming through the blinds of his window shine through his gorgeous eyes, turning them translucent like opalescent marble. Aventurine gives you a tiny lopsided grin, the same one that creeps onto his face when he’s plotting something, and you don’t like it one bit. “
“How else am I supposed to show my adoration for you?” His silken, honeyed voice echoes through the phone. You have to stop yourself from giggling at his lovely voice, the cadence rising and falling masterfully, all perfectly orchestrated to let you listen to him instead of arguing. 
But you don’t take the bait yet. 
“I don’t know, maybe spend time with me?” You reply, but you can’t conceal the blush on your face when you realise that he’s only just woken up. His light blond hair is tousled and one of the cat cakes stretches on his lap. Although Aventurine dresses to impress, it’s the domesticated, sweet mornings where he truly shines. 
“I do spend time with you. We went to see the Opera just three nights ago!”
“Without money being spent, Kakavasha. I want a simple, romantic date. No renting out hotels, no extravagant jewellery, and no mariachi band like that one time-” 
“In my defence, I was completely wasted-” He interjects, giggling softly at the memory of planning a lovely beach date after consuming wine like water, and then ordering a band on a whim.
“You were barely awake, I drew a moustache on you.” You muse. Watching Aventurine’s face morph into an angry pout, like a kitten, makes you emit an ugly laugh. 
“That was you?” He gasps, clutching his heart with faux sorrow. Dramatically falling back on his black pillow, his golden locks are spread. Aventurine’s half lidded gaze and light pink blush makes you want to crawl into bed next to him and trace patterns into his hands, and his lovely eyes would-
“Don’t distract me from the matter at hand! Please stop spending on me, sweetheart. I’m not saying I don’t like your love, I want it! Just not in such an excessively materialistic way, you know?” 
This comment breaks Aventurine’s suave attitude. He blinks at you through the camera, positively perplexed. His eyes are wide and shocked, resembling that of a deer tasting cardboard. “H-how else am I supposed to show my love for you?” 
“Well, how do I show my love for you?”
Aventurine’s eyes look up, trying to recall: “You hold my hands,” he lists one on his fingers,  “listen to me when I speak, you support me through hard times,” he smiles warmly at you, flashing a toothy grin that makes his nose scrunch up cutely, bring back pebbles that remind you of me…” A devious smirk makes its way into his face and you prepare yourself to interject: “and you bite my as-” 
“Enough!” You reprimand him, but your tone is soft. “See? I don’t buy things for you to feel loved. You’re much more than a bank, even if other people don’t make you feel that way.” Suddenly bashful, Kakavasha looks away from you. Perhaps unused to such affections, he hugs the cat cake on his lap closer to his chest. 
“I just want to give you the best of the best.” He replies defensively, and you sigh softly.
“You are the best of the best, Kakavasha.” 
“Then,” his voice cracks in an attempt to hide his shyness, “let’s meet up at your place. Let’s stay inside and watch a movie? I hear that’s a popular date idea.” 
“Perfect. My door is open, we can do face masks and-” The call is interrupted by one of the cat cakes jumping on his head, causing him to tumble off the bed and clutch onto the sheets for stability. Instead, his finger hits the end call button. You giggle softly. For all of his cocky displays, Aventurine, at his truest form, is just a little bit of a dork. 
Said dork knocks at your door, dressed in a lovely black dress shirt and his white pants. You suddenly feel a little self conscious, in your bunny slippers and oversized dress shirt. But the way he hugs you and lifts you off the ground slightly for a kiss, it makes you feel like a national treasure. You waddle your way onto the couch, still hugging, and collapse into the plush cushions.
“So, what movie are we feeling today?” Aventurine pulls a blanket over the two of you, and your eyes brighten with an idea. “The Great Gatsby?” 
“Mm, tragic ending. No. Let’s hold that thought.” He leans over and gently pries the remote out of your hand. “Instead,” he kisses your nose and pushes you into the couch a little more, “let me show you even more ways I can show my affection for you.” He whispers, and captures your lips for a deep kiss…
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allthelovenina · 6 months ago
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Gone girl
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Give this man a break.
Summary: you basically triggered his abandonment issues
Warning: MDNI, smut, not sfw.
Sensual, smut, slow burn(I guess? I mean I tried so-)
English is not my first language, I apologize in advance for the grammatical and dictation mistakes.
Two whole months.
No, two months and 4 days to be exact. That's how many days you were gone. You left your resignation on Erwin's desk and left the scouts with no farewell. No one knew where you went to and no one was really concerned. After all, it wasn't unusual for scouts to quit.
No one except for Levi. At first, he was in denial, telling Erwin that he must look for you, that you wouldn't leave just like that and something was oddly off, what if someone forced you out? What if someone kidnapped you? The first few days were indescribable. He felt helpless, desperate and worried. Erwin would talk to him, tell him there was no reason for anyone to kidnap or threaten you, also Hange had seen you leave with your stuff packed in a suitcase in the middle of the night and you told them that you were leaving for a quiet life. He was heartbroken. You left without saying a word to him. He felt stupid for thinking he was special. He felt played and betrayed.
On one hand, he was relieved that you wouldn't be putting your life in danger anymore, that you were more likely to live a long and happy life. But on the other hand, why didn't you tell him? Wasn't he worthy of a proper farewell? Why wouldn't you at least write to him? He didn't admit it, but ever since you had left, he would check his mailbox every day. Desperately looking forward to a letter from you. On his days off, he would leave the HQ to the city, wishing to see you somewhere on a random street. How helpless and pathetic he felt, wandering around the crowded city all day long until his legs gave up. Yep, the legs that belonged to humanity's strongest soldier, the very legs that would be searching countless hours outside the walls would give up after almost 18 hours of walking and carrying the weight of this man's concern and despair. He felt like he lost his safe spot once again, his home, his lover.
He just needed to see you doing fine, that was all. He just wanted to make sure you were safe and sound. He swore to himself he wouldn't be mad or bitter if he saw you in a good state of health, he wouldn't yell and blame you for leaving him with no words. All because he couldn't help but feel like you were in danger.
He never gave up on searching for you but he didn't seem as concerned from outside after a while. To everyone, he was like his usual self again. However, he would be getting even less sleep, lose his temper even faster and barely eat.
One night he had the documents signed, read and summarised. Ready to be on Erwin's desk. He left his office for Erwin's only to find you there, in the corridor. His eyes were wide open in shock for a second and then his uninterested expression came back as he let out a loud sigh. "What the hell are you doing here?"
You remained speechless. You didn't really expect him to be this grumpy and oh if you only knew, he was controling himself. Otherwise you'd know "grumpy".
"I...I'm back."
"Changing your mind so easily is not like you." He was angry...furious yet so sad and also happy all at the same time. You left, you hurt him, made him feel like a fool and there you were standing in front of him looking prettier than ever, making him feel the butterflies in his stomach. You made him furious.
He wanted to cry and ask you why did you do that and selfishly beg you not to leave again, even for a quite less dangerous life. You made him sad.
But you were back! In one piece, you weren't dead and didn't seem to be injured(in a fatal serious way at least), he felt relieved. Your mere presence made him happy.
"I...wasn't really gone, Levi. I was sent to wall Sina for a secret mission. In order to steal some documents from the MP and gain information about their next move. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but that was Erwin's wish."
Betrayal after betrayal. How dare you all? How dares Erwin to take away what was his and convince him she was the unfaithful one? He was just about to storm into Erwin's office and give that bastard a lesson when he felt your arms around his waist and your face buried in his neck.
"I missed you..." you mumbled and it crashed his soul because he could hear in your voice how broken you were. "It was a long nightmare...and you weren't there...I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you about the mission."
Your grip on his body tightened, he could feel your tears moistening his neck leaving it warm and wet. All of that anger gave its place to sympathy.
"I...was really worried. I never disobeyed his orders why would he do this to me?" Levi asked, almost whispering.
"He thought...it would be better for my cover if you were unaware, you know. "
"That's stupid. What about Hange? Did they know?"
"No...they didn't."
You remained quiet in his arms for a while with his hands brushed against your hair. "I missed you too...I was worried sick but ...you're back to me..."
Back to me, back in my arms. My love, my angel, pretty girl. I love you so much.
His words in his mind sounded so different from what he actually said. "You idiot. Don't ever do that again." He pulls you out of his arms to cup your soft face with his calloused rough hands. Giving you the luxury of his soft glare. "Let's go to my room. Erwin can wait for his documents after fucking me up like this. "
*
It didn't take long for him to take you to his room, pin you down on the bed and devour your soft lips. He couldn't get enough, forcing his tongue into your mouth as his hands travelled from your hair to your face and then went lower on your delicate neck. Hell, only if you and him met under different circumstances, you'd make the perfect wife for him with your grace and inner beauty. How much he wished for a quiet life with you in the countryside, but that was no option right now. At this moment the most he could get from you was this. Sticking his tongue basically in your throat, swirling around yours while gripping your hip with one hand your breasts with the other. He needed to breathe, but he could still hold on. He wanted to waste no second of having you. (even on catching his breath)
Until he felt your hands on his chest, pushing him away to catch breath, you were a panting mess. Your hair all out of place, covered in sweat and blush all over your face. Oh, how much he missed seeing you like this.
He started unbuttoning your shirt, exposing your body but didn't take it off. He moaned only at the sight of it and had his lips on your clothed nipples. The friction and the dampness from his saliva gave you a delicious tease. You deserved this; be teased. A merciful punishment from Captain Levi, for putting him through hell and back. Yes, you had no control over it, but in a way, you did.
He moved back on your neck, making sure your neck would be covered in hickeys that looked like a beautiful amethyst necklace around your neck.
"L...let me kiss your neck too."
"No. You don't get to touch me unless I say so."
How cruel of him. "B...but I missed you, let me show y...you baby. How much I m...missed you."
You had a silver tongue that almost got Levi. Almost. But he stood on his ground. "Bad girls don't get their wishes met."
You moaned in desperation but knew better than to talk back. He was impatient and didn't even waste time undoing your bra (which he always had difficulty with) instead he ripped it off. You were surprised by his action, never had seen him like this. He had always been so...reserved but now he just tore the strap of your bra and invaded your breasts. Spitting on them and smearing them on your breasts, pinching your nipples until you begged him to move on to the actual business, only to get a hard smack on them. He then leaned on you and bit them red and hot. The bite marks were gonna last a day or two on your skin. His mouth ran all over your upper body from up to down until it reached your skirt. He smirked. Pulling the waistband down with his teeth halfway, he got up to pull the rest with his hands and get the full view of you from above.
You were so pretty, all flushed and helpless under him, naked. He could still torture himself a little more by making you wait longer.
"Did you touch yourself when you were gone?"
The embarrassment on your face was visible, you hid your face behind your forearms as you nodded. "Speak! Cat ate your tongue?"
"I did." He grabbed your wrists and pinned them on each side of your head. "Look at me when I talk to you, dove. Now answer me again. I'm running out of patience and I might as well leave you like this."
"N...no, please...that's right, I touched myself."
He guided one of your hands to your pussy. "Do it again. Show me how you would do it and tell me every naughty idea in that pretty head of yours."
You wanted to protest, to tell him you had enough of your fingers in the past two months, what you needed was him, but he had already threatened you to leave and your mind was too filled up with lust to think properly so you obeyed him.
Pushing one finger in, your mouth was open in an O shape. Digging in deeper and deeper. "I...would always th...think about y...you."
"Elaborate."
"I ...think about your handsome face...between my thighs and...your red lips on...my clit."
"Is that all you wish for?"
"N...no...I craved for your cock ...but the reality hit me every time that my fingers were not enough...I missed your fingers and cock in me, I missed the way your tongue flicks in me ...please..."
"Add another finger, now."
You swallowed and obeyed, adding another finger and searching for that spot, speeding up while having your eyes locked into his. He knew you found it when you inhaled sharply and moaned.
"Am I allowed to?" You whispered. "Cum all over your fingers. Make a mess." He leaned and kissed your forehead as you were getting yourself off. Then moved on to your ears and whispered "Beg for me." Then he tugged your earlope with his teeth.
"Please! Levi, I want you. Nothing is e...enough compared to you! Please I beg you!"
As you were begging, he noticed how your knees started to shiver, implying you were close. He let out a cruel, evil and short laugh as he grabbed your wrist and pulled your fingers out. You felt empty all of a sudden after being so close.
You looked so confused which he found out so cute. "B..but you said I was allowed."
"And you had promised to never leave me yet you left me for 2 fucking months! Do you think I'm that kind to let you have it all so easily now? Oh princess, it's a punishment if you haven't noticed already. Now get on all fours."
The unbuttoned shirt, though exposed your body and gave Levi as easy access, was still on. You had no intention of taking it off completely but once you did as he had said, you felt his hands were just about to tug up the shirt.
"N...no...I want the shirt on, please."
Levi was confused, it wasn't as if there was something underneath the cloth he hadn't seen already, he loved this position cause he could run his fingertips on your spine and make you shiver and moan.
So of course, curiosity and selfishness got the best of him and despite your request, he tugged it up anyway only to see several new scars on your back. They weren't deep but they implied you had been attacked during the mission. His heart sank. You looked so vulnerable and he just wanted to take good care of you, make you feel good and safe in his arms once again. Who did this? Who fucking dared to do this? When did this happen? Probably one of those nights that Levi was awake, thinking to himself how cruel you were for leaving him like that. How could he judge you and doubt you so easily? He felt like a piece of garbage.
"Is it that bad?" Your voice brought him back to the room from his thoughts. You were looking at him with half of your face pinned on the mattress. "It's not half bad. I was just thinking how to kill the bastard who did this to you."
"Hmm...so sexy when you talk about killing people while we're being intimate. Don't worry they're dead already."
He ran his finger on the old scars. Most of them were small but there was a huge one on your left shoulder blade which was continued to your waist on the right side.
As he was caressing the scar, he asked "Why you wanted to hide them?"
"They are not the prettiest accessories on me and also, didn't wanna concern you."
He frowned. How could you say that? You were soldiers, scars weren't uncommon. He had more than a few on himself which you found sexy. But you didn't see them that way for yourself.
"I actually think they're matching to mine." Levi said.
He leaned on your back, leaving wet kisses on every single one of them. You shivered and he smirked in satisfaction.
His attitude slightly changed, he just wanted to take care of you. Clearly, you'd had it rough already.
His cock was killing him, it's been hard from the start of the session yet he managed to endure it. As you were fully naked in front of him with your shirt gone, he was fully clothed. He unbuttoned his shirt in no time and unzipped his pants, pulling them down with the underwear and taking them all off. He grabbed his cock, swirling the tip around your already wet entrance. You moaned loudly "Don't tease me anymore!" He could hear the pouting in your voice. No smile appeared on his lips but his eyes softened.
His tip, already wet by precum, made its way through your hole. With no rush and slowly, he was halfway in. You were sucking him in so willingly it was as if your body was telling him how much you missed his touch.
He pushed a little further and was now fully in you, filling you up nicely. Your delightful moans sounded like angels singing to his ears. Oh how much he missed you.
"Y...you can move, Levi."
He grabbed you gently by the throat, adding no pressure. Just pulling you closer to himself until your scarred back met his chiselled chest. Once he had your head backed on his shoulder, he left no time to start kissing it so gently. Eventually, he started to move inside you back and forth.
"Ngh...I missed you, Levi."
His hands were on your nipples now, pinching and playing with them. He whispered in your ear "You have no idea how much I wanted you back by my side."
His arms wrapped around your shoulders as he paced up his movement in you. He bit back his moans just to hear yours as he was hitting that spot in you. Your mouth hung open while you were seeing the stars and moaned uncontrollably. As much as he loved hearing them, you were getting louder and louder so he pushed to fingers into your mouth. "Keep it...down...fuck."
Once again, your knees were shivering, if Levi didn't have a grip on you, you'd fall on the bed. Yet, you ran your hand through his hair at the back of yours, pulling it a little. "You fucking tease."
You were both close, Levi took his fingers out of your mouth and started massaging your clit with them. His nubs rubbed against your needy clit which had been begging for attention. He started drawing ghostly circles and little by little, his moves became faster and rougher. You were almost there.
"L...Levi! I'm...close..please..."
"Cum for me baby. I mean it this time."
In less than a second, you made a mess on his cock. He fucked you through your orgasm. Wanted to fill you up so badly. His cock was twitching in you, he almost couldn't believe he was feeling your hot gummy walls around himself again, shaping your insides like his cock.
His grip on you tightened and you knew by then he was going to fill you up in no time. He let out a loud, sexy moan while he shot his seeds in you. You felt so warm inside, he didn't pull out until he fully emptied whatever he had in you and softened.
You were both panting. He slowly pulled out and you felt the cum dripping down your thigh. Your skin was still red and burning from his thrusts. He laid down naked on the bed waiting for you to lay next to him.
"Where are the papertowles? Your blanket it gonna get ruined."
He rolled his eyes at you, the clean freak couldn't care less at this moment he just wanted his lover next to him. He grabbed you by the shoulder and pushed you on the pillow next to him. "I have to wash them anyway." He said.
His eyes were locked to yours once again. Tucking your hair behind your ear which was all red now. He grabbed your hand and held it tightly, brought it close to his lips and left a few kissed on it as he was watching you.
"Don't ever do that shit again."
You smiled, you didn't say anything. It hurt to see him like this, you knew how much you hurt him by leaving without telling him but you were unaware of this. You had no idea he would be this devastated. Perhaps you underestimated his love which made you feel so bad about yourself. Still, you knew you would do this again if Erwin commanded so. You knew there was no place left for emotional bonds in the army yet you fell for Levi. This is the cost of following your heart, to get hurt willingly only to follow orders.
But screw Erwin and screw humanity at this moment you just wanted to have Levi's head on your chest again.
You pulled him close, he rested his head on your chest as you wished as you nuzzled his head. He could probably get some proper sleep in this state after a very long time. He felt his eyelids getting heavy and before he knew it, he was snorting in your arms.
What a day to be alive.
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ponderingmoonlight · 1 year ago
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would you be able/want to do something with gojo where him and the reader are both teachers and are in an established relationship but the student (aside from megumi) don’t know and start trying to figure out who gojo’s in a relationship with? i feel like gojo would either mess with them or be honest that it’s you but they just don’t believe him cause. yk. it’s you?
Hey, thank you so much for that great request, it was really fun to write! I mixed it up a little with an already existing fic of mine, I hope you don't mind. Let me know what you think <3
Part l to this fic can be found here
Gojo going nuts when his students don't believe him that you are his wife
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Pairing: husband!Gojo x fem!reader
Word Count: 1,5k
Synopsis: When Satoru wears his wedding ring for the first time in front of his students, Nobara can't help but wonder who he's married to. But when Gojo confesses it's you, his students just don't believe him.
Warnings: language, sad Gojo lol, this is an absolute comfort fanfic so there you go if that's what you need today, read part l if you haven't yet <3
Tags:  @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3
„Itadori!“ Nobara hisses through gritted teeth.
“Did you just see that?”
“What do you mean?”, Yuji remarks with doe-eyes, gazing up at her with no clue what she’s even talking about.
“That ring on Gojo-sensei’s finger, you idiot”, she barks back at him while frantically running to the door in order to catch one last glimpse at him.
“Is he by any chance married, Fushiguro?”
Megumi signs to himself, staring at Nobara in nothing but annoyance. That talk from last week where she literally forced you to describe Gojo still doesn’t sit right with him. Of course, Megumi knows about your relationship. After all, he’s been with both of you for many years now, witnessed countless times how Gojo caresses your cheek gently in the darkness of privacy, how he calls you “darling” around the house and passes out on the couch next to you 10 minutes into a movie. And even though both of you never talked about this whole marriage being private thing, Megumi simply refuses to talk about your love life – even with his friends.
“I have no idea. But maybe minding your own business will help with your complexion or something”, Megumi bites back.
All of the sudden, Nobara smacks the back of his head hard.
“Hey, that’s pretty mean, you don’t have to be so rough!” Yuji complains in an instant.
“Both of you, shut up. I will just ask him when he returns. Why wouldn’t he tell me?”
“There are actually a lot of reasons not to tell you…”
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH FUSHIGURO!”
“Huh, what’s going on here? I’ve been gone for a minute and you’re already smacking your heads?”
Casually, Satoru sits down behind is desk, long legs stretched out in front of him while nipping at the coffee you just made him. Oh, how much he loves to pay you a small visit during work. Just to be assured that you’re fine, that the second years don’t get on your nerves while training them. He just loves to adore you from afar. Yes, and the minute he gets home, you’re all his and his alone.
“You’re wearing a ring on your finger”, Nobara suddenly blurts out.
Satoru tils his head to the side, gaze wandering over his wedding ring. While he normally never wears it in fear of losing it during some stupid mission, today is your anniversary. The urge to proudly show off his ring became much greater than any anxiety. Also, today is a teaching only day and he’ll return home with you by his side after this lesson is over. The things he has planned for both of you tonight…He smirks to himself, joyful like a child when thinking about the surprise that’s waiting for you at home.
“Gojo-sensei!”
Megumi’s urgent voice rips him out of his daydreams.
“So what? A ring has many meanings”, Satoru replies calmly.
You never talked about this. While you seem to silently agree that showing each other affection at Jujutsu High isn’t what you want and that you are keen to keep your relationship private, you never talked this through. Last week when you described Satoru Gojo so well as your favourite type of men, you never said his name once, probably turned completely red when Yuji mentioned it so casually.
“Yeah, like being married for example!”
“Maybe I am, who knows?”
Satoru intertwines his fingers behind the back of his head, smirking at Nobara who is close to lose her mind widely.
“Maybe you should leave him alone…”, Yuji suggests in hushed tones.
“Maybe you should shut up, Itadori. This is far too important to let it slide!”
“You are way too dramatic about this.”, Megumi comments dryly.
“You guys just don’t understand the magic behind this!”
“So you want to know what this ring means?”
Nobara’s eyes light up in an instant, filled with so much unveiled curiosity that Gojo can’t help but wonder why she is never this invested when it comes to learning.
“Please tell me!”
Let’s see what happens.
“This is my wedding ring. I’m married to (y/n) for three years by now.”
Thick silence, utter speechlessness. The expression on Nobara’s face is so priceless that the urge inside Satoru to take a picture and show it to you later almost becomes unbearable.
“What’s up, Kugisaki? Did you see a ghost?”
“There’s no way in hell this is true”, Nobara mutters into Yuji’s ear, which earns a serious nod from the pink-haired boy.
Wait, what? Satoru furrows his eyebrows while gazing at the girl in front of him in disbelief. What did she just say?
“Why on earth couldn’t this be true, huh?”, he barks at her, hands clenched into fists.
“(y/n) is a real sweetheart with great taste. I just don’t think she would get involved with someone like you. Also, she said that she likes muscular man. And she never wore a ring”, Nobara explains briefly, earning a death stare from Satoru Gojo himself.
Both Yuji and Nobara eye him up and down, critical expression plastered on their faces while whispering unclear things into each other’s ear.
Satoru is on the brick of losing it. Did his students just suggest that you are too good for him? And that he’s not muscular!?
“I am muscular!”, he cries out.
“Megumi-chan, tell them I’m married to (y/n).”
If the ground would be able to swallow Megumi whole, he would take that offer in an instant. They already discussed this stupid matter for over 10 minutes now, when will the lesson finally start?
“Don’t drag me into this. Just do your job”, Megumi mumbles in annoyance.
Of course, Satoru is very aware of the fact that you are striking gorgeous, popular even beyond the boundaries of Jujutsu High. Damn, even here there might be some men who’d want you. But he is the strongest, he is good-looking, he is funny…Why on earth wouldn’t you be married to him?
“See? Nice try Gojo-sensei, but we don’t fall for your shit.”
He can’t believe his ears, face so red that Megumi slides back in his chair just in chase.
“You brats have absolutely no idea what love actually is! I won’t let you tell me who I’m married to or not!”, Satoru spits at his students, catching the attention of you.
Huh, what’s going on inside that classroom? You were on your way to grab some cursed weapons to show Maki, but the way your husband’s furious voice is heard through the entire hall makes you stop in front of his slightly opened door.
“Why are you screaming around here, Sir?”, you question, gazing at Nobara in confusion as she almost breaks down in tears from laughing her ass off.
“(y/n), darling, tell my students that you are my wife!”, Satoru demands.
Is that why he’s so stressed, because he wanted to tell his students that the both of you are married? What is going on here?
“I already told him multiple times we don’t believe him. Last week you said you like muscular man-“
“I AM MUSCULAR!”
You desperately try to hold back a laughter, the stressed out look on your husband’s face being enough to let a little giggle escape your lips. How on earth did that topic even pop up? Your gazer wanders to the wedding ring on his cramped finger, heart filling with warmth in an instant. Oh, he really wears it.
“Maybe he’s wearing that ring only for attention…”, Nobara whispers into Yuji’s ear.
“This is getting ridiculous”, Megumi comments.
“Why don’t we all just calm down a little? Your lesson started 15 minutes ago, why are you still arguing around?”, you playfully throw at your husband.
Despite the fact that you want to throw yourself in his arms right away, you keep your cool composure. This is what he gets for picking on you last week. You’ll make him suffer just the way he did it to you.
“You are supposed to help me with this!”, he complains.
“I am supposed to work right now”, you reply sweetly before turning on your heels and closing the door.
You can’t hold back any longer. Tears start to tickle in your eyes, that priceless look on his face. Oh god, you can’t stop laughing. This evening will definitely be entertaining.
-in the evening-
“Hello, stranger”, you playfully greet your husband as soon as he returns from work, blue orbs almost piercing through you.
“You are supposed to help me! Why didn’t they believe me? I’m I really that much of a downgrade compared to you?”
That little pout forming on his delicate face warms your heart in an instant.
“Maybe it’s better this way. I like to enjoy my time with you in privacy. Nice try though”, you playfully remark, your hands gently running through his soft white hair.
Suddenly he grabs your legs, pulling your body up in the air while all you can to is shriek and laugh out lough. He carries you into the bedroom, letting your body fall onto the soft mattress.
“I will make you pay for not helping me out today you traitor.”
“Then I’m happy to be a traitor.”
2K notes · View notes
adambja · 6 months ago
Text
✴️THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND✴️
The Guide - the only post you will ever need to understand how your subconscious mind works!
1. Time isn't real
Let me break it to you! Time isn't real at all cuz think about it all these hours and numbers are made by humans!
But how?!
They just track how the earth moves around the sun and that's all
Yes without time there will be morning and night and still these hours aren't real
As in whole THE UNIVERSE!! TIME DOESN'T EXIST IF YOU AREN'T ON THE EARTH!
which GETS US TO THAT ONE POINT
SUBCONSCIOUS MIND REPROGRAMMING DOESN'T TAKE 21 DAYS OR ANY TIME
Subconscious mind reprogramming is instant
That's why I always add it to my tapes as benefits and that's why I made the benefits! cuz it bypasses the conscious mind and it makes it easier for your subconscious to make it reality!
So basically it all comes down to what you assume!!
2. Languages
I got that question a lot about what if I can't speak English, will the affirmations work?
Yes ofc they will
whatever it's affirmations only or my tapes
Even if you make your own tapes it will work!!
3. Thoughts
Is it really "it is what it is"?
Yes, it is what it is
For ex.
if you think you already got 50k US DOLLARS you already have it it's that simple (like that success story a girl experienced with one of my free tapes she manifested 50k US DOLLARS! - also this one success story - The tape is on YouTube btw)
Again it all comes down to what you assume!
4. Assuming
Assuming hmmm... Do you know that all your thoughts are assumptions?
But there are two things about these thoughts!
Did you assume that they are real and true?
Do you assume that whatever you want is already achieved?
Do you assume that you are always right?
Or did you assume that it can't happen cuz you think you are lying!
Just be honest with yourself
Get a piece of paper and write everything you think about down ABOUT A SPECIFIC MANIFESTATION YOU GOT ON YOUR MIND!
And if you think you are lying why? Ask yourself! Make all that noise go away and clear it for yourself! You deserve better
Now this gets us to another point which is your manifesting self-concept and your self-concept they are very important for ur existence like they are the core of your life! So a little advice work on them then do whatever you want!
Cuz it changes the way you think and what you assume
So like a person with a bad or mid self-concept they will always assume the worst for themselves
Another person with a good self-concept they will be aware of who they are and what they are capable of!
5. Thoughts, Feelings and beliefs!
Again and again
How you feel is created by thought
Subconscious programming → beliefs → feelings → thoughts
So if you keep saying "oh I am sad" multiple times you will be sad it's just that simple
Use it for your own good!
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And imagine what... Right now
Your beliefs will reflect in your reality after one thought instantly after reading this post so be careful cuz i already manifested this while typing this!
And listen to in control tape by me on YouTube!
Basically you can always create beliefs instantly cuz you believe that time isn't real... Did you know what we are doing here? Just assuming the best for us but you still have to be constant to get used to it and make it a part of your programming like everyday
Someone like me I enter the void every time I nap and sleep I got used to it and I don't even feel tired anymore when I wake up there and I don't use it that much anymore!
I literally enjoy how easy it is in life to do whatever I want and experience whatever I want!
6. Simple assumptions to have a good relationship with your subconscious mind
I will give you 10 affirmations from my paid subconscious mind tape at the end (I know it won't be the same as the tape itself because of the benefits but still it might help you guys!)
Do you know that your subconscious mind is here for you like a parent it's like your personal assistant - it has everything about you, your memories and it controls ur whole life it accepts every single thought you think about unless you say it it's not something you accept so it gets in your subconscious mind like "oh I don't accept this"
Even the negative statements your subconscious mind knows it negative!! Same thing with the positive statements
Like for ex.
I am not a bad person - negative statement
Your subconscious mind acknowledges it!
Your subconscious mind won't take it in like "I am a bad person" without the "not"
Even the same thing with
I am a good person - positive statement
Your subconscious mind acknowledges it TOO
The subconscious mind ACCEPTS THE NEGATIVE STATEMENTS TOO!
IT IS simply WHAT IT IS!!
It's not the opposite at all as some weird bloggers said! Or even that book about the subconscious mind it's called "the power of the subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy" it's full of bs and limiting beliefs - I genuinely hate it
I literally saw a coach in Saudi Arabia on X (PREVIOUSLY Twitter) selling a whole course for almost 30k USD and sharing all the limiting beliefs in that book and that was months ago!
I mean at least IF YOU ARE MAKING PEOPLE PAY FOR SOMETHING PROVIDE THEM WITH THE BEST THINGS AND INFORMATION
I hated how some people let some crazy stuff like that get to them without doing their own research or just creating their own rules!!
Be a little independent please for your own good
Your subconscious mind can be programmed instantly YOU DON'T NEED ANY TIME all you need to realize and understand is that yes "I always reprogram my subconscious mind instantly" and YOU JUST NEED comfort and just repeating the affs - this is a way
Another way to do it - make your own tapes and it's just repetition
Another way to do it - simply be it be whatever you want to be! Like it's already you!
One last way to do it - my free tapes + paid tapes they are very effective they work from the first listen because they have benefits again what actually made my tapes get that much success stories is the benefits
I am gonna upload 2 new free tapes they are small but very effective! Everyone here will like them!!
🎀10 Affirmations for your subconscious mind🎀
from my paid subconscious mind tape
Affirmations:
Me and my subconscious mind are one.
My subconscious mind already accepts everything I say as true.
My subconscious mind already accepts everything think about as true.
My subconscious mind is already my best friend forever.
My subconscious mind always helps me with everything.
My subconscious mind always loves me.
My subconscious mind always helps me reach my highest potential in this lifetime!
My subconscious mind already believes what I want it to believe easily effortlessly quickly and instantly.
My subconscious mind always manifests everything I want easily effortlessly and instantly.
I have a perfect relationship with my subconscious mind.
Thank you guys for all the support and love and I hope this post helped you!
If you have any questions you can always send an ask I will be happy to answer them whenever I am free! Also you can dm me if you want a paid tape or a custom tape!
One last thing these tapes are with benefits they aren't like any other tapes that are available everywhere these days! 🎀
Enjoy!💗
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nakylvr · 2 months ago
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Hi can I request a Daniela from katseye with fem reader where she has a crush on the reader but thinks that she’s dating one of the other girls. Like with angst but a happy ending. Also I love your work!!
why yes of course 😋 i love daniela so much and this is a great req thank you so much!! 🫶 i think i got a bit carried away, sorry!
— MISCOMMUNICATION
daniela avanzini (katseye) x fem!reader
summary: daniela has a crush on you but thinks you're dating one of the other girls, which causes some miscommunication between you two leaving you both confused
warnings/tags: language, angst with a happy ending, they both are dumb and oblivious, wingwoman lara cause she's a real one, lots of miscommunication, none of them are idols just a group of bffs
wc: 3.5 k
main masterlist | katseye masterlist
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daniela wasn't the best at talking about her feelings. to be more specific, romantic feelings. she could discuss her normal feelings but as soon as romantic emotions were brought up, she would be unable to say a word. when she had a crush it was only worse, leading her to not even wanting to discuss anything love related while she had feelings for someone else. she wasn't scared, exactly. for she didn't know what she was feeling. it was hard for her to understand.
daniela has had a crush on you for some time now. she knew she did from the very beginning, she just tried to ignore it, believing it would go away if she didn't think about it. that didn't work. because the more she was around you, the harder she fell for you. you were close with all the girls including daniela, but there was a slight problem that kept daniela from saying or doing anything. 
she genuinely thought you were with sophia. 
you and sophia had known each other prior to meeting the other girls, and you two were extremely close, practically acting like a couple whenever you two were together. while daniela never heard any official words like the two of you saying you were dating or saw any quick kisses of any sort, she thought it anyway. you two were always together, called each other loving petnames, and did pda that neither of you would do with anyone else. so, she suffered in silence alone for a while. 
it was rough for daniela, especially when all the girls hung out together. she would stare from afar with sad eyes whenever you were with sophia, because in her mind she knew she wouldn’t stand a chance, so she didn’t bother even trying. she kept her feelings inside, dwelling on them alone instead of talking about them, even with the other girls who she knew would undoubtedly support her. she kept it a secret the whole time, nearly wanting to die in the process the more she was around you. 
you two were close, but not as close as she wanted. you didn’t know that, though, for she never once showed those kinds of feelings towards you. you thought she purely saw you as a friend, and while you weren’t completely okay with that, you didn’t say anything that could change everything. 
the silly thing was, you had a crush on daniela for nearly the same amount of time as hers on you. however, you didn’t realize how your closeness with your best friend sophia could be seen to other people, looking like a couple when both of you agreed you would probably kill each other if you were actually dating. this caused some problems that you didn’t notice. you failed to notice the few signs daniela showed that expressed she liked you. you didn’t notice the longing stares while you were talking with others, you didn’t notice her trying to initiate more serious conversations or physical touch with you, and you didn’t even notice the difference in the way she looked at you versus the others. but, she also failed to notice yours. 
there were a few conversations you two had that almost led to confessions but something would happen which resulted in it never coming out. there was one specifically that made daniela think that maybe just maybe she would have a chance. 
you were sitting on the couch at lara’s house, looking at your phone as you scrolled aimlessly on instagram. all the girls were there to hang out and have fun, but you had been exhausted recently and didn’t want to get caught up in the usual loudness that happened when you all hung out together. so, you were sitting there on your phone, not noticing daniela looking over at you for a decent amount of time before she eventually walked over to you. 
“hey,” is all daniela says to you. 
you look up from your phone to daniela and a small smile forms on your face. “hey,” you say in return. 
there’s an awkward silence that fills the air between you two, and you both can feel it but are too scared to do anything about it. 
“you okay? you’ve been sitting here alone for the past like, hour,” daniela speaks again, a faintly worried expression on her face. 
“mm,” you hum, shrugging your shoulders. “i’ve just been exhausted i guess,” you admit. “but, i didn’t want to not hang out, so i still came.” 
daniela takes the seat next to you, leaning back into the couch as she glances over at you. “has something been happening? or do you just mean in general?” she asks. 
“just in general,” you answer, putting your phone down next to you. “life is kinda a lot right now.” 
“i get that,” daniela nods, agreeing with your words. she doesn’t know what else to say, struggling to find the words just from sitting next to you. she has never felt more awkward around someone else in her whole life, and she wished the ground would just swallow her up so she wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. daniela feels a sudden weight on her right shoulder, and she glances over to see you resting your head on her, making her eyes slightly widen and her cheeks flush pink. her whole body freezes and she isn’t even sure if she’s breathing at this moment. 
“i’m really grateful to have you around, y’know,” you say quietly, but loud enough for only her to hear. 
daniela’s face heats up more at the barely audible words coming from you, and she swears her heart is going to beat out of her chest if you say anything else remotely like that. “i’m grateful too,” she says slowly so she doesn’t stutter or show how nervous she is. 
you reach for one of her hands and hold it in yours, cherishing the warmth of her skin radiating onto yours as you talk again. “i hope we can be around each other for a long time, dani. i would really like it.” 
daniela is sure she’s going to pass out any moment now. with your hand now holding hers and the words leaving your mouth, the nickname she only lets you use, she was definitely going to. “i-i would like that also,” she replies, mentally cursing at herself for stuttering like a loser. she can feel your breathing change as you lean against her, and when she looks down at you for the second time, she realizes you’re asleep. her eyes go wide again and her face turns even redder when she realizes this, and she’s not sure what to do as she sits on the couch. 
daniela looks over at manon who is already looking at you two with a grin plastered on her face and phone out facing you both to take a picture and she mouths ‘what do i do?’. manon simply shrugs, taking the picture and giving a thumbs up to daniela. “i dunno, but you got this!” she says encouragingly. 
daniela rolls her eyes at manon’s response and watches her walk away back to where the other girls were. she looks down at you again and lets out a short sigh. “i guess i’m staying here,” she mumbles to herself. 
unfortunately for daniela, you never spoke of that conversation after it happened. she thought maybe she pushed it too far even if it wasn’t that big of a push, and so she started avoiding you. she didn’t respond as fast to your text messages, she wouldn’t look you in the eye when you were hanging out with the girls, she would make up excuses to leave so she wouldn’t have to talk to you. she thought she fucked up if you didn’t want to talk about that moment of sincerity between you two. 
meanwhile you had thought you did something wrong if it meant daniela started avoiding you. you had thought you made her uncomfortable with your words that day and that that’s the reason she was avoiding you, so you didn’t do anything. you didn’t confront her about it, too scared that she would admit you made her uncomfortable and didn’t want to talk anymore. there was an even worse awkwardness between you both that all the girls immediately noticed and decided to try and help the best they could. 
“what if we did something to make daniela jealous?” manon suggests to the other girls. 
“would that even do anything?” megan responds. “i’ve never seen her get any type of jealous.” 
“maybe not jealous, but she stares like a kicked puppy whenever yn and sophia are together,” lara says. 
“i could try something,” sophia speaks up. “yn and i are already close, so i’m sure if i did something extra it would make her jealous.” 
“is this a good idea?” yoonchae pipes in. 
“possibly not, but i can’t stand this miscommunication between them any longer,” lara replies. 
“agreed,” they all say. 
so, later that night the girls brought (forced) you two to attend a party with them. daniela was standing in a corner with lara, looking as if she wanted to die inside just being at the party while you were talking with sophia on the other side of the room. 
“lighten up a bit, daniela! this is a party,” lara says to daniela over the loud music. 
“i’m not having fun,” daniela responds in a blank tone. she takes a glance around the room, not noticing the hand signal lara gave sophia while you’re back was turned, and when daniela’s eyes land on you and sophia, they narrow into a glare. 
sophia has an arm wrapped around your waist, leaning close to whisper something into your ear and you laugh, gently shoving her as she presses a quick kiss on your cheek. daniela feels a mix of anger and sadness as she watches unaware of the other girls trying to see what will happen. she misses lara doing another hand signal of sorts to sophia who decides to go to plan b after seeing daniela do nothing. sophia’s arm remains around you as you two talk, and she pushes some of your hair out of your face and turns so her head is blocking your face, making it appear as if you two are kissing but in reality, she is still just normally talking to you. however, what daniela thought she saw made her immediately start stomping off in a random direction somewhere to get out of the house. 
you catch daniela storming off out of the corner of your eye and quickly tell sophia you’ll be right back before hurrying after daniela who made her way outside of the house onto the porch. 
“hey!” you call out, following behind her. “are you leaving already?” 
daniela stops in her tracks as soon as she hears your voice, and she simply just nods her head. 
“why?” you ask when you reach her, standing in front of her. 
“i didn’t even want to come,” daniela answers. “why did you even follow me?”
“what?” you let out in response to her question. “because, you looked angry and i wanted to make sure you were okay.” 
daniela scoffs and shakes her head. “just go back to sophia. don’t worry about me,” she says. 
confusion grows on your facial expression at her words, not sure where this is suddenly coming from. “what are you talking about?” 
“nothing,” daniela shakes her head again, her eyes not even meeting yours. 
“no, you don’t get to do that,” you say in a more serious tone. “you don’t get to just say ‘nothing’ after avoiding me for weeks. what is going on?” 
“nothing,” daniela repeats. 
you bite your tongue from saying something you don’t want to say, and instead just nod your head. “fine, then,” you say, making daniela finally look at you. “fine. i won’t bother trying anymore. you won’t tell me why you’re avoiding me, so i won’t try. i don’t even have a general idea why you’re acting like this but, do what you want. just…just leave me alone unless you’re going to apologize.” you finish, letting out a sigh and shaking your head before starting to walk back to the house. 
daniela stands in silence as she watches you walk past her, and she reaches her hand out and grabs your arm. “yn, wait!” she says quickly. 
“don’t bother, daniela,” the scoff you let out matches hers that she did earlier in the conversation that makes daniela want to cry. you pry your arm out of her grip and walk back inside the house. 
daniela stands outside for a few minutes in silence, before mumbling curses under her breath and hitting herself on the head for what she did. “fucking stupid, stupid, stupid,” she mutters to herself.  
needless to say, that plan didn’t really work. in fact, it made things worse between you two. the girls realized it the day after when they all went to hang out and you and daniela didn’t even say hello to each other. they knew then that their plan didn’t work and they instead fucked it up more. the girls didn’t know how to fix this. there was a tension in the air whenever you and daniela were in the same room, and it was evident neither of you were going to talk to each other anytime soon. 
it wasn’t until daniela was talking with lara one day that she was told you weren’t dating sophia, and she was shocked needless to say. it’s also when daniela realized just how badly she had fucked up. 
“y’know, if you have a crush on her you should just say it,” lara says to daniela, sitting next to her while on her phone. the two were in lara’s room and daniela had finally just admitted that she had a crush on you, to which lara was trying not to react too much to make it like she didn’t know even though it was incredibly obvious. 
“i can’t do that! are you crazy?!” daniela immediately responds in an exclamation. “she’s with sophia, why on earth would i confess if she’s literally dating someone else?!’
lara looks up from her phone and at daniela with a confused look on her face. “what?” she asks. there was no way daniela thought you were dating sophia, right? 
“i’m not going to ruin the friendship i already have with both of them because my dumbass caught feelings for someone who’s already in a relationship!” daneiala says, throwing her hands up in the air and slouching back against the couch. 
“wait, wait, wait. stop right there,” lara waves her hand from side to side and puts her phone down. “do you think yn is dating sophia?” she asks daniela seriously. she wanted to slap some sense into daniela right now for how dumb she was to think you were dating sophia, but she resisted it and kept it to questioning her instead. 
daniela looks back at lara with confusion on her own face at the question. “yes?” she answers, it coming out as a question. “they are literally together all the time and call each other all those lovey-dovey names and shit!” 
“oh my god,” lara tries her best not to laugh out loud at the thought of daniela genuinely thinking you were with sophia, but a smile pulled on her lips. “yn and sophia aren’t dating, daniela.” 
daniela’s eyes quickly widen in surprise at lara’s words. “are you joking?” she questions. 
“no, they literally aren’t,” lara shakes her head. “sure, they basically act like a couple but no, they aren’t actually dating. they would not work out together if they did,” she lets out a chuckle at the end. 
daniela sits in silence for a few moments, trying to process the newfound information given to her. this whole time she thought you and sophia were together, just to find out you actually weren’t. this was a good thing, she tried to remain positive. this meant she could come up with a confession and hope it works out. 
so, after a week of trying to figure out what to do, she decided to finally talk to you. she tried texting you, but you didn’t respond. so she showed up at your house randomly instead. 
daniela rang the doorbell of your house, standing in front of the door with flowers in one hand and a bag of food in the other. she glanced behind her at the car which lara was sitting in the driver seat with the passenger window down watching daniela. lara gives daniela a thumbs up with a wide smile on her face, shouting to her, “you got this, girl!” which makes daniela turn back around to the door in embarrassment. she waits another minute before determining whether or not she should just leave the items and run off, but then the door unlocks and opens, and you stand there in front of her. 
“oh,” you let out in surprise at seeing her standing there. “what are you doing here? and why do you have those?” you question, raising an eyebrow and crossing your arms over your chest. 
the tone in your voice makes daniela want to curl up in a ball and die right here. she can tell you’re pissed off she showed up unannounced, though technically she did text you and tell you she would be coming, whether you read it or not was another question. she’s sure you could see how nervous she was, but your expression remained blank if you did notice. “uh, well, yo-you said to leave you alone until i apologize so i’m…here to apologize,” she responds anxiously, her eyes struggling to lock with yours. 
“mm,” you hum. “fine,” you say, opening the door wider and walking back inside. 
daniela stands there for a few seconds, quickly looking back at the car behind her before hurrying after you inside. you close the door behind her and walk to your living room without saying a word, and daniela follows behind you to the couch. 
“uh i got you some food from that expensive place we got when we all went out for your birthday,” daniela says awkwardly, setting the bag of food and flowers down on the coffee table. “and the flowers because i remembered you said you liked them,” she mumbles afterwards. 
despite your initial attempt at being mad at her, the guilty look on her face and evident anxiety in her voice makes that vanish much faster than you anticipated it to. “thank you,” you say, sitting down on the couch. “you can sit, you don’t have to stand there awkwardly.” 
daniela sits down beside you as soon as you say she can, her hands resting on her knees. “i’m uh i’m sorry for avoiding you, and for making you upset with me. i…i won’t say i don’t know why i did it because that would be a lie. i know why i did it. i just didn’t ever say it because i was scared. i didn’t want you to get mad at me when i said it so i never did,” she starts, looking down at the ground. 
“okay…” your voice trails off as you listen to her. “what do you want to say?” you ask. 
daniela takes a deep breath before saying it quickly. “i’ve had a crush on you ever since we met but i didn’t say anything because the whole time i thought you were dating sophia but now i found out you weren’t and all of that was basically for nothing and i feel so stupid now.” 
she says it so fast you can barely keep up with what she’s saying, but when she’s finished your eyes are wide. “wait, you thought sophia and i were together?” you say with confusion. 
“yeah,” daniela mumbles in embarrassment. 
“so you never confessed your feelings for me because of that?” you ask. 
daniela nods her head, still not looking at you. 
you let out a quiet sigh and grab one of her hands which makes her look at you. “i forgive you for avoiding me, but you really could’ve just talked to me about it and i would’ve been honest with you. that reason being because i like you also,” you say, a small smile on your face. 
“you what?” daniela questions, looking at you with shock. “are you serious?”
“yeah,” you nod your head. “i thought you hated me or something when you started avoiding me so i didn’t bother trying to confess.” 
“oh thank god!” daniela exclaims, a smile making its way onto her face. “i was so worried the whole way here thinking you would slam the door in my face which would’ve been so embarrassing but this is so much better.” 
you can’t help but laugh at her words. “well to be honest you immediately won me over when i saw the flowers and food so,” you admit sheepishly. 
“i knew it was a good idea!” daniela says, proud of herself for coming up with it. 
“it was,” you reply. “so, now that it’s established i’m very much not dating sophia and we like each other, do you want to stay the night and we can have a little first date?”
a wide smile is on daniela’s face and she quickly nods. “of course.” 
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