#the whole buildup of the show was that ash had already gone too far to go back. even if he wanted to.

[achilleslyre]

banana fish fandom done pissed me off

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Pokemon Master Quest, Episodes 8-10

In which the Whirl Cup ends as suddenly as it started, there’s an actual good romantic subplot, and we get possibly the show’s weirdest episode yet.

So Much for That

So, remember in my last post when I mentioned that the Whirl Island arc was cutting out all the fat that had been bloating Johto for a while now? Well, I guess I was more right than I thought, because the Whirl Cup is already over! All the buildup we spent to get here and we only spend two episodes watching it play out. And I can’t tell if the lightning-fast pacing is throwing me for a loop or if this is just moving too fast for its own good. Ash and Misty’s battle doesn’t even get a half episode of screentime to play out before it’s over, so the prospect of seeing these good friends duke it out basically doesn’t amount to anything. And Misty’s knocked out of the competition right afterwards anyway. What was the point of sidetracking for a tournament arc if the tournament arc wasn’t even going to last a full hour? The answer, it seems, is so we can get to the other subplot of the Whirl Islands are start searching for Lugia. But it’s still pretty weird we set up this arc focused on Ash and Misty entering the Whirl Cup and then pretty much abandoned that for something entirely different. This isn’t like Hunter x Hunter where you can get away with that kind of narrative surprise, this is freaking Pokemon. If I cared at all about the battle aspect of this anime, I would’ve been pretty damn disappointed. Even if it was pretty cool to see Psyduck actually save the day for a change.

Bizarro Town

So, Pokemon isn’t usually a very weird show. I mean, it’s weird in the sense that Pokemon are weird and their powers and how they interact with the world are unusual, but its storytelling is very safe and normal. Formulaic to a fault, one might say. It pretty much never steps too far outside basic episodic plotting. But then, there’s Master Quest episode 9. We start off with a trained Diglett squad, which is simple enough. But then they take us to a village populated entirely by old fogeys who speak in confused, confusing ramblings that no one can understand (On Team Rocket: ”I feel sorry for those three cream pockets!”) Which, alright, that’s a little weird, but there’s probably an explanation for it. Expect then a group of mask-wearing Lone Ranger-esque thieves show up out of nowhere, and proclaim themselves a band of Diglett thieves knows as... the Band of Diglett Thieves (”We used to have a more creative name, but the old fogeys in there kept getting confused!”) We somehow go in a straight line from Diglett squads to thieves who book their robberies in advance. And then we get the actual explanation for what’s going on: the robbers are just the kids of the old people who’ve gone to live in the city, and they pretend to be poachers so their elderly relatives can continue to follow their routine of chasing crooks off their Diglett farms. Which is... somehow both a perfect explanation for how weird the setup for this episode was and just ends up making it weirder in the process, because seriously, who does that?

Do I have a coherent point to make about all this? No, I don’t. This whole sequence is just so utterly bizarre that I had to stop at several points and wonder if I had somehow gotten high without my knowledge, and yet it’s in service of a genuinely good twist that explains why things are as bizarre as they are. And in the middle of all that, you’ve got Team Rocket playing the good guys for a change because they’re so grateful to the old folks for helping them (”This red rose symbolizes the blood that runs through all our veins! It knows neither good nor evil!”), but because the robbers are actually harmless they end up being the bad guys by trying to do the right thing. This whole thing feels like an anomaly in the mechanics of Pokemon TV itself, something so bizarre and yet so weirdly clever it shouldn’t be able to exist. But it does exist. I just confirmed it exists. And now you know it exists. So... there’s that, at least.

Sparks Fly

And yet, neither of those are the most surprising thing about this set of episodes. No, the most surprising thing here is that Pokemon just proved it was capable of writing... romance? Like, Arianne and Jenaro are just two side characters we’ll probably never meet again, but holy shit do they have good chemistry! They banter with the prickly energy of two people who know each other well enough to get under each other’s skin easily (”That scarf was too small for my manly neck!”), teasing each other and brushing off any potential hurt feelings. They’re two people who are just... comfortable with each other. Even before Jenaro reveals his plan to propose to her, I could already picture them spending the rest of their lives together just from how clearly invested in each other they were. And then Arianne has the nerve to steal his proposal out from under him and tease him about it and god dammit why is this so cute. It actually made me ship them and root for them to get together! These characters literally don’t matter but the show sells their romance better than some actual romance anime. Even Brock gets a bunch of great moments as their weepy wingman putting his crush on Arianne aside for their happiness (”Drum up some courage or I’m gonna do it!”) Out of all the things Pokemon does well, I never thought good romance writing would ever be one of them. But here it is anyway, proving me wrong. Just goes to show you can never take anything for granted, not even in shows as simple as this.

Best of Team Rocket

-”Why do we call ourselves Team Rocket?”

-James, have you... have you been standing in that pose this entire episode? My poor, poor man.

-”It’s a thing of beauty, don’t you think?” “If you’re asking me, it’s a thing of pity.”

-”Would a simple antacid be too much trouble?”

-”Thank you for your business, I think!”

-”Or at least I’ll give it my best shot.”

-why the army uniforms alskjalsjdk

-”Operation No No Dodrio!”

-”When exactly were the twerps chosen for this mission?” “When the mission became scary!”

-”I’m 120.” “That’s ten times my age!” “Where’d you get that math from?”

-”We’re up to our nasty necks in knickknacks!”

-Did Jessie just sing Happy Days there? Damn, she’s got good taste.

-”I’m so giddy, my nose is tickling!”

Odds and Ends

-Jesus, what on earth is that Crabhammer attack?

-Missed you too, Bayleef. Even though it was only, like, two episodes.

-”I never have trouble remembering the face of a pretty girl! This book helps me with their names.” Okay, that was funny.

-One thing I don’t like about a lot of the Pokemon fights in this show is that way too many Pokemon are knocked out with a single hit. There’s no way a single spike cannon should be enough to topple a Gyarados, but here we are.

-”A hot air balloon filled with suspicious-looking fishermen!” sdkjfhkdfj sure

-why are you sipping sea and surfing on Diglett at the same time WHAT IS THIS FUCKING EPISODE

-”Ash, are you hurt or embarrassed?” Hello, police? I just witnessed a murder.

-”Do a swift attack now!” “Hold on, that was my line!” See? This is cute!

-”Sparky?” ...who?

Man, Master Quest is wild. See you next time!

[shardclan]

Out on the edge of the cliffs at the inlet of the Hewn Canyon, a glistening black spire cut through the earliest rays of dawn light, where only yesterday there had been nothing. The materials long since piled up on that empty cliff were gone. House Betelgeuse lived; a fine combination of Telos and Ashes’ designs, the initial renderings of Riaye, and the updates from Moyo. After all this time, finally Clan Aphaster had a place its people could truly call home.

Imperial though he was, Ashes was very much like a spiral when he was excited. For the past several hours since the sun had outlined the shape in its rising light, he had been zipping about in a frenzy that not even the Seat had driven him to, obviously though non-verbally rushing everyone including Telos to hurry up and get the inspection party together. Granted, the matter with the Seat had harsh consequences attached. This, if it was truly as benign as it seemed, was worth both his excitement and worth every gem that had been requested as payment for the job.

Moyọ̀ was already there when the team finally arrived, lounging on a chair made of spare marble that seemed to have been molded especially to fit him. It even had a handle that neatly held his parasol for him, freeing his hands to clean his nails.

Ashes immediately dashed forward and unloaded what clearly had been on his mind since first light alerted the clan of the spire’s presence.

“It’s beautiful! it’s absolutely wondrous! But it wasn’t there last night–it’s massive, how could you possibly have really gotten it done overnight? Well, stupid question it was magic, but the magic to raise an entire–” he floundered. “An entire mountain, it’s a mountain! It looks like a small crystalspine! And you don’t appear drained at all, how could you have worked this much magic alone? Even a circle would–”

Moyọ̀ held up a hand, and when Ashes actually took a moment to breath he gently pushed the excited imperial out of his personal space. With a mix of sincere amusement and slight distaste, he dabbed at his face with a kerchief. “You are the Tribune of Magic, I recall. The one who originally proposed this House Betelgeuse. Yes, your eyes show many stars. But try to calm yourself.”

“How can I,” Ashes persisted breathlessly. “You’ve completed an amazing feat of earth magic here!”

Moyọ̀ spared a very self-satisfied smile. “That I have. But do not rush. I would prefer you examine my work, feel the awe of it, find it to your liking. When you have found your needs satisfied and I have found my purse heavy–then we may talk of my method.” He looked over at Lutia. “You, I would speak with on a lingering detail.”

Lutia glanced, though she didn’t have to. “The Obsidian Disc and the Starwood Portal, right?”

“And your Celestial Vault. It was not clear that I could move them without damaging your work, and there is nothing as uniquely unlikable as a tamperer.” He pursed his lips. “I have made a place for them. If you could move them right away, it would be best.”

“Are they a danger to structural integrity where they are?”

“No, but they are terribly placed. It clutters my design.”

When she realized he was being completely serious, a smile cracked Lutia’s face. Moyọ̀ was a bit vain for her taste, but she could appreciate a perfectionist any day.

“I’ll go with our architect and get the final touches put in place. Saber, Miscedence, Willowalk, you’re on architectural examination. Ashes, you’re on preliminary magic examination with Tungsten. I’ll help you as soon as I’ve got everything set with Moyo. We make our report to Telos by evening.”

Tungsten’s brush with deepwater prophecy at the hands of maren exiles dangerously obsessed with the groanings of the Tidelord had permanently changed her. The trauma of nearly being drowned lingered, and so did whatever half-heard whisper that had passed from the silver bubbles into her mind. Instead of submitting to a life of emergency sedation to drive back whatever horrible knowledge lurked in her, Tungsten had opted to encase herself in ice magics. She claimed it wasn’t too uncomfortable, but Ashes thought that was probably a lie. When she shifted she seemed pleased for the opportunity to feel the sun on her vast hide. The frost persisted, coating her horns, her fins and even dusting the outer edges of her wings.

She didn’t leave the magic active at night. And sometimes she still woke with uproarious screams, deep in the grip of night terrors.

She adjusted her lenses and glared. “If you’re done your assessment, boy?”

“Y-yes!” he blurted. “Sorry, ma'am!”

“I’m fine,” she said a bit more softly. “A hard day’s work or a lazy day in the sun, neither has bearing on my condition, Ashes.”

He scratched embarassedly at his cheek and dipped his head apologetically anyway. Far far below them, Lutia was shifting the Celestial Vault, the Obsidian Disc, and the Starwood Portal into a more favorable configuration. Since they were all physical objects now, there was no need for any especially extravagant magic. So long as they remained within close proximity to each other they would remain stable.

Moyọ̀ must have thought about it quite extensively, because the design of the ground floor had perfectly accounted for it and it was very clear he had no intention of allowing them to be eyesores in his architecture from the very beginning.

What Ashes first assumed was a bafflingly tall and strangely placed trio of concentric colonnade rings similar to the outer ring in the Court of Five Lights was actually an excellently measured support ring for the Obsidian Disc. Lutia didn’t seem to have control over the height it floated at, and no one wanted it destroyed now that it had reached equilibrium, so Moyọ̀ must have taken its measurements. It slid into place with the grace of an eclipse, and they knew those measurements were frighteningly accurate. Whatever magic Moyọ̀ had worked was almost secondary to the precision mathematics he must have employed to get the dimensions right.

“Shame he doesn’t have your humility,” Tungsten rumbled. “Or I’d tell him he was a genius to his face.”

“I’ll do it anyway,” Ashes said without hesitation. He craned his neck out over the parapet. “The more I see, the more brilliant it is. Look.” He pointed to the front, where an empty framework of rosy gypsum and sandstone formed a neat semi-circular facade to the otherwise very open bottom level of the spire. “He matched the hide of the panes to the height of the disc. He must have planned for it to float at the back so the open air between them would form a crescent.”

“Is that it? How charming.”

“Even better than charming, it means the space isn’t irregular and our barriers can easily be placed. Rain wont matter above the Disc because the ceiling is domed and all the upper walkways are partially enclosed anyway.”

“Quite well at that,” Saber added. He sailed down to them from an upper floor, and Willowalk followed with Miscedence. “Physically, there is no evidence of carelessness to be found. How was the magical assessment?”

“As previous. The ambient currents are still a bit odd due to the movement of the Seat. I suspect they’ll be abnormal for a long time. But seeing as we hoped to contain out element here, it’s better that the abnormality be here rather than anywhere else. Formal measurement will have to wait for Lutia to be done.”

Tungsten murmured to Willowalk. “If I may hear your thoughts?”

Willowalk nodded thoughtfully, and crossed her arms. “Base level made of basalt, walkway of sunbeam marble. Upper levels here with less expected traffic made of polished basalt. Main spire structure of inert crystalspine granite accented with onyx. Back facade plated in slate. Front facade isn’t water-proofed, but the sandstone will save the gypsum, especially if we give it a good sealing now and again. Each living space roofed with celestine that will grow into the room as a visible measure of arcane energy buildup. Celestine inlays at key locations to act as a visual alarm system in the event of dangerous rises in element.“

She dipped her snout toward the far side of the structure. “Front facade meets the granite of the main spire perfectly. Bottom floor can represent a completely closed area once our barrier magics are in place between the disc and the panes and we have some brick glass in there. Outside of the main spire is a series of melded pillars together at some point before reaching the interior. Easily climbed. Easily repaired. But visibility is very high and there’s no entry on that side. Nothing to be gained by trying to sneak around back there if you’re hoping to get in. And its all standing on its own. The interior has pillars to support the walkways and such, but the structure as a whole is balanced. It’s supporting itself–in very sturdy fashion. It’s...amazing.”

“Essentially,” said Miscedence, peering through a small opening in the parapet with its own railing for species who weren’t quite so large. “We are standing inside a partly hollowed artificial crystalspine that could house the whole of the clan. No tricks. No cracking a wall and finding it stuffed with mud. It is here, and every stone is exactly as it seems from its exterior to its core.”

Below, the Starwood Portal smoothly disappeared under the Disc. In the emptiness, they could hear the vague echo of Moyọ̀’s voice sounding perfectly–and deservedly–smug.