#the weird little family unit made up by a little brother. a bastard lord. and the warrior of light.

[ievaxol]

We were full of life

We could barely hold it in

"Alphinaud," Seike says his name like it's a whole sentence and Haurchefant — playing the role of amused onlooker, as he finds he often does nowadays — has to fight to stifle his laughter at the thoroughly unimpressed gaze she levels at the younger Elezen. "You don't know how to cook? Or you don't know how to cook well?"

"Either, I suppose," Alphinaud muses, blithely unaware of the metaphorical shovel he has in hand or the grave he's digging with it. "I have never been in a state where there is not prepared food readily found, I suppose? Though I have been known to prepare my own sandwiches, during late night study sessions back at the studium."

Whether it's a conscious thing or not he puffs out his chest as he says that, calling to mind a proud chocobo chick.

Seike answers with something like a grunt, signalling that the conversation is over as she stalks out of the room.

When Alphinaud turns his confusion toward Haurchefant he simply pats the boy's shoulder.

All things in due time.

"I cannot believe you managed to talk Luphont into this."

'This' being full access to the kitchens for as long as they needed, without the temperamental head chef of Camp Dragonhead looming over their shoulders. Haurchefant doesn't think it has ever happened before but Seike simply smiles, obviously pleased with herself.

"I promised not to tell the price I paid 'lest every damn person comes hounding me in this godsforsaken place.'" She manages to get Luphont's accent down pat and it makes Alphinaud snort.

"Now, Haurchefant, are you helping or are you going to stand over there and look lordly?"

Seike's in a good mood; the words dance, playful, and there's a mischievous twinkle in her eyes when she regards Haurchefant.

"Helping... With what?" Alphinaud wonders aloud and Seike turns to him with equal parts affection and frustration.

If anyone asked Haurchefant he'd say that the affection outweighed the frustration, even if just by a smidge.

"I told you, we're making food."

"Oh." Alphinaud looks at the neat line of bowls and spices lined up, as well as the aprons waiting for them. "So we are. I did not expect it to be so..."

"Literal?" Haurchefant suggests.

Seike ruffles Alphinaud's hair with a sigh.

---

For all his inexperience, Alphinaud is a quick study. They're making something significant to Seike if the softening around her eyes and the reverent way she touches the spices is anything to go by and Alphinaud must feel that as well as Haurchefant does, throwing himself into the work with enthusiasm.

Seike's voice is as always pleasant to listen to. She narrates every step patiently, voice eventually dropping down to a low hum in her throat; mix the breadcrumbs and the milk, well done Alphinaud, now chop the onion, carefully.

As she flits around showing Alphinaud how to not cut off his own fingers and has a lighthearted argument about recipes —

"How much spice?"

"Until it's enough."

"Is there no recipe to follow —"

"You'll know when its enough."

"But specific measurements —"

— Haurchefant is set on popoto duty. He doesn't mind and even less so when asked by a Seike who smiles in a way she hasn't since they arrived here. Unburdened. A little lopsided.

Something happened with her and Alphinaud on the battlefield that day a week back, that much he can tell. This newfound understanding between Seike and Alphinaud is of the type that is paid in blood, forged in the fires of war.

Haurchefant might wish with all his heart that it could have been avoided, but he is glad of it all the same. It will no doubt make their journey ahead easier, he thinks, chest filling with warmth as Seike guides Alphinaud's hands, showing how to crack eggs with as little mess as possible.

There's spiced and ground karakul meat that Seike no doubt paid a pretty coin for — or hunted herself — and homely bubbling from the pots. There's laughter and light conversation and love filling the kitchen until it's fit to burst with it, until Haurchefant has to excuse himself and wipe at suddenly misty eyes.

For the first time since he took the seat, Camp Dragonhead feels like a home.

Alphinaud's meatballs turn out lumpy at first and he stares at them with a furrow in his brows until Seike pops one in her mouth — raw — and startles him into indignant protest, getting him worked up to the point where he forgets all about chasing perfection.

"Excellent work on the salt," Seike says around a mouthful of meat and Alphinaud squeaks.

Haurchefant follows suit — he finds that they're not bad at all, chewing thoughtfully as Alphinaud watches them both with abject horror.

"I'll have you know that those are raw," he says helplessly.

"Mhm." Seike agrees. "Better up the pace and get them on the flame then, before we eat them all."

"You wouldn't."

Alphinaud looks to Haurchefant for reassurance, except he makes a show of swallowing and then tapping his chin.

"I am rather hungry after all..."

---

They eat their meal at the kitchen tables. It is usually only for those needing a quick bite as they work but they dress it up nonetheless. It simply feels right in a way that making a meal of it in the great hall wouldn't — Seike sings to herself as she makes some last-minute adjustments and Alphinaud is trying not to look as proud as a newly become mother and failing.

Spiced meatballs with mashed popoto, jam, pickled cucumber and a sauce that Seike claimed as her pride and joy.

Alphinaud insists on serving them, shooing them toward the chairs before doling out portions with great concentration. Like this, mouth pursed and eyes gleaming with the joy of having done something well for the first time, he looks every bit the teenager Haurchefant knows has been hiding underneath the politics and plans.

In place of young Leveilleur the prodigy from Sharlayan is Alphinaud, a gangly teenage boy. It makes something pinch in Haurchefant's chest, painful and proud in equal measure.

Seike watches him work with a small smile curling her lips and once Alphinaud sits down alongside them she looks at him expectantly.

"Let us know when we can dig in," she says, voice wavering.

Haurchefant thinks that might be her equivalent to his misty eyes and he reaches under the table to squeeze her hand, getting a strong squeeze back.

"Well," Alphinaud puffs his chest out some more. "Enjoy! I dare say this is my best work yet."

"It is your first work?" Seike frowns before realization flashes in her eyes. "The sandwiches don't count, Alphinaud."

"Do they not — ?"

Haurchfant laughs throughout the entire argument.

[hannahindie]

Country Roads, Take Me Home: Chapter 7

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader, Beth (OC) Word Count: 1,777 Warnings: Language, extreme Beth sass (I love this woman. Is that being full of myself since I made her up? OH well. I love her.), canon violence. A/N: Hey ya’ll! Welcome to Chapter 7 of Country Roads! I’m sorry for the delay in getting a new chapter up; between work, fall/winter challenges, being sick, buying a house, and deaths in the family, it’s been a crazy last three months of the year. This chapter is a little shorter than the rest of them, but I loved it and I hope you do too! We’re quickly coming to the end of this story, and it has truly been a labor of love.

My beautiful writing soulmate @trexrambling beta’d this for me. Thank you, my dear, for not just helping me with wording and grammar, but encouraging me and just being wonderful in general. Thanks, darlin’. :) “I will miss Beth once this series is over.” Me too, girl. Me too.

As always, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know!

A/N 2: I have taken some liberties with the construction of the basement, how large it is, and if there is an exit to the morgue or not. I don’t think that is actually a thing, but for the purposes of this story...well, I put one there. So if any of you are familiar with the building, disclaimer. lol

A chill went through me, and I shook my head, “No, it’s impossible. I just talked to both of them. Dean was scared of the dolls from the haunted house, and he wandered off and left Beth and I alone…” I trailed off when I realized that, though there were things Dean didn’t like, he never ever screamed like he did earlier…at least, not unless ghost sickness was involved. I looked at Sam with wide eyes, “I wasn’t talking to Beth or Dean…was I?”

Before Sam could answer, a scream sounded through the dark basement. A scream that sounded very much like Beth.

Shit.

Dean woke up slowly and groaned as he shifted his head on the hard surface he was laying on. “What the hell…?” he mumbled to himself as he tried to sit up. Rough rope dug into his arms and around his chest, and he swore again. From his vantage point, all he could see were peeling walls and filthy, cracked windows.

“Beth? Where are you?” Silence greeted him, and he rolled his eyes as he began wiggling against the rope, hoping to loosen enough to slip out of it. “Seriously, you’re going to choose this very moment to be quiet? C’mon, say something so I know where you are.” A moan sounded from the other side of the room, and he breathed a sigh of relief; at least she was alive. “That’s right, sweetheart, wakey wakey, eggs and bakey. Are you tied up, too?” There was a mumbled response and then silence fell again. “Beth?”

“I said, first of all, keep your comments to yourself about how much I talk. Two, yes, I’m tied to a pipe.”

Dean chuckled, “Aww, I didn’t mean anything by it. Just making sure you were alive and well, gotta rile you up somehow.” He grunted as he strained against the rope, which didn’t seem to want to loosen up. “Shit...how tight is that rope? Mine isn’t coming loose.”

“It’s pretty damn tight.” She groaned, and Dean could hear a shuffling sound as she tried to work free of the rope, “What the hell happened? My head feels like I went to one of Billy Johnson’s keggers and drank enough jungle juice to go home with his brother.”

Dean snorted, “I don’t know what the hell that means, Beth.”

“It’s not good, Dean. It’s not good.” The shuffling stopped, and Beth sighed, “This is ridiculous. This is not how I pictured my day going. I mean, I figured after everything I’ve heard about you and Sam, we’d have this solved in a hurry and I’d be halfway to sloshed with at least one Winchester by now. Instead, I’m trussed up tighter than a hog headin’ to the slaughterhouse, and it’s not even the good kind.” She sighed, “That wasn’t really the best turn of phrase though, was it?”  

“No, not really.” A loud crash from behind Dean startled him, and he pulled tighter against the ropes. “What was that? Can you see anything?”

“I can’t see anything, Dean. It’s too dark...ah shit.”

Dean stopped struggling, “What? Ah shit what?”

“We’re in the morgue. ...What are you lying on?”

“I don’t freaking know!” He lifted his head as high as it would go and looked around. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Now that his eyes had adjusted to the dark, he could see what he was lying on, and he had the sudden feeling that it wasn’t going to end well. He was secured to a metal slab that had been pulled out from one of the cold storage units. “Do these cold storage things actually function? Like, do they move or close or...you know, turn on?”

“...I mean, they close, but there isn’t electricity in this part of the building, so you should be fine.”

“Well, that’s good to know-” Dean was interrupted by the metal slab slamming back into the cold storage unit and the door as it shut with a bone rattling clang. “Beth! DAMMIT!” The container was pitch black, but Dean still squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ignore the feeling of its walls closing in on him. “Beth!” Panic was beginning to set in, and all he could think about was when he'd been buried, digging through the dirt as he tried to escape his flimsy, wooden prison. “BETH!”

“I’m okay! I’m almost loose! Hang on, Dean!” He heard a cheer as Beth finally broke free of her restraints and hurried footsteps as she ran to where he was. The door rattled, but stayed shut. “Son of a bitch! It’s stuck. Let me...just, hold on, okay?”

“Like I have much choice,” he mumbled to himself. The hair on his arms stood up, and he groaned. “You need to hurry, I think they’re coming back,” he shouted, grimacing as his voice bounced off the rusted metal.

“Hold your damn horses, Winchester! I will be right there. Good Lord, it’s not like I came prepared to rescue the damsel in distress.”

“Excuse me-”

“Awwe, honey, don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m just lookin’ for something heavy...ah ha! This will work!” Dean heard the scrape of metal against concrete and wondered what she was getting ready to do. “Now, I need you to close your eyes, sweet cheeks, and turn your head so I don’t mess up that pretty face of yours. Okay?”

“What are you getting ready to do?”

“Don’t worry about that, just do what I told ya.”

The cold storage unit abruptly shook, the sound of metal on metal grating, and Dean cringed, his eardrums throbbing at the ear splitting vibrations. “Jesus, Beth! What was that?!”

“I’m trying to break this door open! That hurt like a mother-” She was abruptly cut off, and the silence was replaced by a loud crash and a sharp cry.

“Hey! What happened? Are you okay?!” Silence was his only answer, and Dean shivered as the temperature dropped even more. “Shit, shit, shit...Beth!” Just as he was about to shove himself towards the door, it shook again and this time popped open with a creaking groan. Dean looked up to see Beth, blood dripping down the side of her face and her shirt ripped, holding a giant pipe and breathing heavily.

“Asshole didn’t realize this was iron.” She tossed the pipe down and pulled the metal slab out, yanking at the knots and freeing Dean’s hands. He quickly slipped the rope off and jumped down from the gurney, immediately checking the still freely bleeding wound on Beth’s temple.

“He tossed you around pretty good, huh?” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded bandana and pressed it against her head.

“You could say that,” she said between clenched teeth, “but I got him right in the ghost nards. Think they can feel that like people do?”

Dean laughed, “I’m not sure, never stopped to think about it.” He dropped his hand and stared at Beth, “Where have you been hiding this whole time, anyway? You’d make a great hunter.”

She shrugged, “Someone’s gotta keep this place in check. You think these are the only ghosts around? Anyway, ya’ll live in some sort of weird, flat hellscape. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

“Aw, come on, it’s not that bad. We’ve got mountains. Come out to visit us sometime, I’ll show you around.”

“You’ve got hills. But maybe I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. I’ve never been out west before. Could be fun.”

“Oh, it’ll be fun.” Dean took a step closer to her, and Beth put her palm against his chest, stopping him.

“Simmer down, handsome. I fully intend on getting so close to you that Jesus himself would blush, but right now we’ve got bigger issues on our hands.” She bent down and picked up the pipe and smacked it against her other hand. “Now what?”

Dean reached over and grabbed another loose pipe and swung it up onto his shoulder, “We find those brains and send those bastards to Purgatory.”

Our steps echoed in the huge, empty space as we ran across the basement towards the source of the scream. “Since when are they impersonating people?” I yelled, my heart beating in my ears so loudly I could hardly hear myself. “Did you know ghosts could do that?”

“I’ve heard of it, but I’ve not seen it. Not exactly something I was expecting, but why not make this even more difficult?” Sam slid to a stop and flashed his light into the dark, open doorway in front of us. “How could you not tell they weren’t...them?”

I glared at him, then reached over and pinched him hard on the arm. He swore and pulled his arm away, rubbing at the spot I’d just grabbed, “What the hell was that for?!”

“Just making sure it was actually you,” I spat back, looking back to where the beam of light was bouncing around haphazardly. “We have to find those brains, Sam. If we don’t find them, who knows what those two will do to Dean and Beth.”

“And how do you suggest we do that? This basement is huge, Y/N. And we aren’t splitting up, so you better come up with something else.”

I rolled my eyes, and for the first time since I had known him wished I was anywhere but here with Sam. I chewed on my lip as I thought. Where would they store something they needed later safely, something important like specimens, but still be easily accessible?  “Wait...which way is north?”

Sam looked at me, eyebrow raised, “What?”

“Which way is north? Where is the front of the building?”

Sam looked around, then pointed back in the direction we’d just come from, “The north side of the property would be that way. Why?”

“Which means that this door-” I gestured toward the one we were just looking through- “would be going towards the south side of the building, right?”

“Yes…”

“The morgue is behind the asylum, and I’m not a hundred percent sure, but I think there’s a back entrance to this basement, or at least a tunnel from the morgue to here so that they could move the bodies discreetly. Would it not stand to reason that maybe the stuff they kept in storage would at least be close to the morgue? What point would there have been in carrying it all the way across the building?”

Sam smiled, and I felt a quick flash of relief. I had never argued with Sam, and right now wasn’t the best time to start.

“Good idea.” Another cry echoed through the basement, followed by a crash and Dean’s muffled voice yelling for Beth. Sam made a move towards the noise, but I stopped him.

“We can’t help them if we get trapped, too. We’ve got to find those brains, Sam. It’s the only way to stop this. They’ll be fine.” Sam frowned, and I squeezed his arm, “I promise, I will not let anything happen to them.”

He sighed, “Yea...okay. Where do you suggest we look?”

I grabbed his flashlight and pointed it into the darkness ahead of us. “I have an idea...but you aren’t going to like it.”

Like what you see? Would you like to see more? Check out my master list HERE!

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda  @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes  @deanssweetheart23  @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-baby @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites @justanotherdeangirl @smalltowndivaj @captainradicalpassion @myloveforyouxx @atc74 @mrsbatesmotel53 @easelweasel @there-must-be-a-lock @masksandtruths @thelittleredwhocould @jotink78 @amanda-teaches @ilsawasanacrobat @squirrel-moose-winchester @mjdoc90 @anticipate1003 @mrswhozeewhatsis @mindsunleashed @mogaruke

Country Roads: @karlilarki @dontslurp @supernatural-fangirl13 @night-thinker-23

Dean Only: @akshi8278 @lavieenlex @valkyrieslament @highonpastries

[doublehex]

Thoughts on 7x01 “Dragonstone”

Spoilers abound. Like seriously, if you are one of the 4 people that have not watched the episode yet, do not read before the cut.

The Second Red Wedding:

This scene suffered from a bit of a pacing problem. The dialogue was fine, and David Bradley was chewing the hell out of that scene. But the issue was, as soon as it started, we knew exactly what was going to happen because we saw Walder get killed off at the end of season 6! We knew it was Arya, and we all suspected just what was going to happen.

Exactly what we thought would happen did happen, and that is just boring. The scene had catharsis for the Freys finally getting their dues, but the way it all happened was just anticlimactic at best. We spent four seasons hoping for the Freys to get their due, and when they did get it, it was over with almost as soon as it started.

Still, “Winter came for House Frey” is a nice line.

Also, Maisie was totally on heels.

Main Title:

The horns got a budget increased. Still sounds synthy as hell, though. Like can’t HBO afford an orchestra for their genre defining show?

Bran at the Wall:

The lingering shot of the White Walkers was very creepy. Typical creepy electronics aside, the dark wind hiding most of the zombies did an effective job of creating tone and atmosphere. And when it finally culminates in the shot of the giant, showing the sheer mass of the approaching army, the message is loud and clear and terrifying.

I did find it weird that the Lord Commander would be at inspection of those passing through the Wall. We had long since passed the point of thinking the Wall is meant to stave off the Wildlings.

Also, Bran being all ominous and broody as his way of identifying as a Stark is Fucking A.

Jon Rules:

So we finally get to see Jon ruling in the North. This has been something we have been waiting years to see. Jon’s kingship has been foreshadowed constantly through the books. From Robert Baratheon’s remarks that the Northern kings are buried in snow, to Mormont’s raven frequent squawking’s of “king” and “crown” in Jon’s presence, and with Robb’s will on top of that, there is little argument that Jon becoming the next King in the North after Robb. The how of it is the question that GRRM will need to answer.

But we have it in the show (as awkward the coronation was). And Jon shows he has more of a handle on how to politically merge the wants of his Northern lords with the coming threat of the White Walkers than Sansa does. Probably because Jon knows that the White Walkers are coming, while Sansa just understands it. There’s a keen difference, and it is shown in our first scene in the North.

Sansa pushes for the Karstarks and Umbers to have their lands stripped from them, but a ruthless hand in victory will do the Starks no favors. Jon understands that the North needs to stand united against the coming threat, and he needs to give a forgiving hand to the Karstarks and the Umbers. If he followed Sansa’s advice, Jon would foster animosity in the families, and they would fight to get their lands back.

But now they have reasons to stay loyal and true to the Starks, especially since Alys Karstark and Ned Umber were not the ones to rise up against the Starks.

Ned Umber being a young boy is a double blessing for Jon. Not only is he young and easily influenced, but Jon can install regents that are loyal to House Stark to foster him. Jon can, from the root up, rebuild Umber loyalty to House Stark. On top of this, he shows that Jon Snow is a King worth following. He is not the Boltons under a more familiar coat.

Stay loyal and be rewarded, turn traitor and be killed.

I really am not liking how DnD are trying to imply that Sansa will be a villain. Everyone who knows these characters – and that should be everyone at this point – knows she will not turn against her family. It makes no sense for her to do so. DnD are just gonna make us all feel like “Oooo, will she do it?” and then “Nope, she didn’t. Like we all fucking knew”. It’s an annoying piece of direction from them, and I’d wish that they would just focus on Littlefinger as the antagonist in the North.

I also found Lyanna Mormont’s quip of rather holding a spear than knitting by a fire annoying. Who is going to keep the Northmen warm during the winter if they have no coats or cloaks? Northern nationalism warms the heart, but not the skin on your back. It would have been nice if the writers also had Jon say that the men will need to help with supplies, and learn how to forage in the winters. Have the Wildlings teach them a thing or two.

Also, it seems like the Northern lords jumped pretty quick on the “White Walkers are coming!” bandwagon. For all their lives, they were raised with the fairytale of the White Walkers, and all of a sudden they all believe in it? It feels like there was a cut scene of some Northmen asking themselves just what kind of crazy loon they had made as their king.

Jon and Sansa:

Again, DnD is trying to imply that Sansa will turn cloak, when everyone and their mothers know otherwise. Sansa says that she learned a great deal from Cersei – giving the implication that she learned how to be ruthless and cynical. But I think what Sansa is saying is Cersei will not stop at whatever it takes to come North.

Sure, Jon used the “Russia” defense theory, and it makes sense. But Cersei will find a way regardless. Sansa knows this, and she is trying to teach Jon that.

I appreciated what Sansa is trying to do with Jon here. She is insisting that he can’t think like Robb and Eddard, that he needs to be his own man. They were good men who made foolish mistakes – Ned didn’t realize the full scope of his powers as Hand, and Robb didn’t want to create a bastard by Jeyne Westerling after seeing what Jon went through. Jon can’t be like them.

However, this is all shit that should have gone down BEFORE they met with the lords. Sansa should have known better than to undermine Jon in front of his lords. She knows how important saving face is. Nobody understands social politics better than her. It was out of character for her to do what she did.

DnD were just creating conflict in an awkward way, and it showed.

Cersei’s Big Map:

Aegon the Conqueror had a painted table. Cersei is going to have a fucking floor. Says a lot about the differences between the two rulers. Aegon knew how to rule, but Cersei thinks walking over the realm is what makes one a ruler.

Jaime is beginning to understand the sheer depths of Cersei’s paranoia, and I liked how Jaime was asked if he should be afraid of her. Cersei should be afraid of the Volanqar standing right in front of her. Jaime also understands that the Lannisters have no legs to stand on. They have no allies, and no legitimacy to sit upon the Iron Throne. Cersei was the mother to the king, but that does not mean she gets to be queen.

Cersei is a usurper, and Jaime understands that completely.

Two Good Hands:

At this point we understand just what type of character Show!Euron is going to be, and he is nothing like Book!Euron. This Euron is just a crazy pirate with a flair for the dramatic. He is not a monster in the flesh of man. No sorceries, no Valyrian armor, no dragon binding horns, no Eldritch sense of horror.

And despite all that, I don’t hate the Euron we saw today. I loved how he chewed the scenery, his banter was great, and he has this absurd sense of entitlement. Jaime needs to get some oilment for the burns he got.

This Euron has no depth, but I’ll be damned if he is not fun as hell to watch.

I did appreciate how Team Lannister did not buy any of Euron’s shit. They didn’t just skip right into welcoming Euron with open arms – they wanted a reason to trust him. Euron admitted outright that he killed his brother and liege. Cersei has no reason to truth Euron.

The problem is, Euron is going to give her reason to trust him. With a gift.

Sam in Oldtown:

Hello montage. You overstayed your welcome.

On paper, Sam’s montage was fine. It was a decent amount of comic relief that overstayed its welcome, but what it did do was show how much time had passed since the finale of season six. Without this scene, one would think the new season began just as soon as season six ended.

However, the montage went on for a little bit too long, repeated the same notes one too many times. They earned one chuckle from us, and wanted two more. They didn’t get two more.

Sam’s scene with Archmaester Marwyn (or he should be) was nice. Having a maester that knows the Long Night is coming is a good indicator that an age of magic is coming, and the era of logic is coming to a close.

It was also important the message that the Archmaester said: humanity has survived. Humanity has always survived every calamity that has been thrown at it. The showrunners are telling us what the ending of the series will be – humanity will prevail, no matter what else happens. Game of Thrones isn’t a bitter narrative.

It is an affirming one. Good will always prevail over evil, but being good is hard. That’s why our heroes suffered for so long.

I just hope that Sam doesn’t find out that Rhaeger annulled his marriage to Elia Martell. Beyond the timeline problems, it makes no sense for Rhaegar to do that. Why would he make his son and daughter a bastard so Jon could be a prince? It pretty much makes Rhaegar a 100% douche with no redeeming qualities. That would add nothing to the narrative.

Sansa, Queen of Shade:

If we spent the entire season having people throw shade on Littlefinger, I would consider it well spent.

The issue I have with Littlefinger is I don’t understand why he is in the North, why he is doing anything. If he lusted after Sansa, why did he arrange her marriage to the Boltons? Even if he thought Ramsay was a fruitcake, you don’t want some other man screwing the woman you love. That makes no bloody sense.

So Littlefinger…why are you here? The writers wrote themselves into a corner with him. His wants are complete wishy-washy.

Arya and the Westerlander Soldiers:

I swear to God, I was the only one that didn’t recognize Ed Sheeran in this scene. Everyone says he pulled them out of the scene, but I don’t even know what the guy looks like. This is what I get for having 700 GB of soundtracks and classical music on my computer. (No regrets)

So since that was everyone’s singular criticism with that scene, I feel it was perfect. I loved how Arya is learning that not everyone associated with the Lannisters are bad people, and it does a double whammie of showing us (the viewers) that the Lannisters have no leg to stand upon. They have no legitimacy, everyone knows it, a stray wind will push them down.

The scene reminded me a lot of a narrative technique employed by many immersive shooters (System Shock, Thief, Deus Ex, Dishonored, Prey 2017), where the player can overhear the enemy talk to each other. You get the “enemy” earn a face, talk about their fears and doubts, joke around, be actual people.

This is what this scene does. It gives us a face for the normal Westerlanders that are dragged into Cersei’s bullshit.

They were very clean and pretty, for a bunch of normal soldiers, though. Smear some mud on their cloaks. I also felt they were just a wee bit too chummy with Arya, but overall the scene was stellar.

Clegane with the Brotherhood:

Probably the best collection of scenes in the entire episode. Yes Clegane, you are a terrible person, and you need to see just how terrible first hand. The great thing here is that, in such a fast-paced episode where everything is setting up something, this scene takes it’s time. They don’t rush through it, don’t force the lines along. It’s a pure character building moment.

Some people have issue with how Sandor saw things in the fire, but I think it makes sense. The Age of Magic is coming, and the Lord of Light wants everyone to know it. If you know how to speak to him, he will answer back. And Sandor actually seeing things in the fire…I think it shows how much closer he is facing his brother. In season two, he couldn’t even look at the fires on Blackwater Bay, and he was nowhere close to filling Gregor’s heart with a sword. But season six, and Cleganebowl is FUCKING CONFIRMED.

The gravedigging scene was a nice nod to his role as the Gravedigger from the books.

Sam and Gilly and Jorah:

Hey, Little Sam got bigger! Only took him like four years.

The scene was pretty much just an exposition scene with decent dialogue. My biggest complaint is that there really isn’t much more to it besides that. We don’t get much character building, just a setup for Jon meeting up with Dany in the next few episodes.

Also, can we just have the Perv from Bear Island die from greyscale already? Most worthless character in the book. He drags everything down with him.

Daenerys Comes Home:

I WAITED NINE YEARS FOR THIS MOMENT AND IT WAS EVERYTHING I WANTED AND MORE.

Okay, let’s be rational now. DnD made the absolute best decision to make scene without dialogue. Having Dany or Tyrion or anybody else speak would have had just TOLD us what she was feeling. But this was the moment that Dany has been working, struggling, bleeding towards, since we first meet here in Game of Thrones.

We needed to see the complex emotions on her. And Emilia sold the hell out of it.

Dragonstone was the ending of the Targaryen family, and it was where Daenerys began. She was born on Dragonstone while her family’s armada was torn apart by the most fierce storm Westeros had ever seen.

And when Daenerys finally sets her eyes on the throne that her family had sat on for centuries before Aegon the Conqueror and his sister-wives conquered Westeros, a seat she has bled for, dreamed of, been told stories about…she walks right past it and gets to work.

She is ready to rule, but Daenerys Targaryen has no delusions. She has a war to win,

Stellar scene.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s05e14 “Parasite” review - or more aptly named, a filler episode that had it all.

Episode 14 – Parasite

Oh god, the name of this episode gives me the creeps and I seriously hope it doesn’t have anything to do with actual insects, because those give me the willies.

Let’s see what happens.

Poor lady.

Valet.

Okay, what’s going on?

Posh restaurant?

Huh?

Luck be a lady tonight, I love this song.

Oh my god! That’s Josh from Castle!!! Is he the bad guy in this one? Well, that’s a change.

Let’s see where this goes.

Why is he scratched? Did he kill that lady? She scratched him? Good.

Hey! I know that dude, too! Hold up. IMDBing the shit out of this episode right now.

Heh. I’m gonna love this one.

The goatee is back! I’m loving the Shemar facial hair XD

“Why do we think the con man killed her?”

Good question, poodle.

Heh. Prentiss noticed a nervous habit of his. Cutie, I love you.

“Do you have physical evidence confirming it’s your guy?”

Good question, puppy.

“It’s prolific.”

Damn straight, this bastard’s impressive.

“Con men usually don’t murder, but when they do, it’s to conceal their crimes.”

Damn.

“Con man’s a nice name for these guys.”

“They profile as psychopaths.”

Hey, watch your language, I have a very specific favorite con man named Neil Caffrey, and I do not appreciate you badmouthing him like this, puppy.

“They see their cons as theater and themselves as a sort of puppeteer. They have to have absolute control over their victims and their cons.”

Ew.

(Btw, this is going to be sporadic – I’m basically popping pills to control these period pains. Ugh. I hate being a lady sometimes.)

“And because he’s so charming, the victims never see it coming.”

Uh-oh.

Erich Fromm: “If I am what I have, and if I lose what I have, who, then, am I?”

Wow. Amazing.

“I can’t believe you guys have your own jet.”

And you can just see Rossi in the background going, is this dude for real?

“We take turns piloting. You want to give her a try?”

“Really?”

Derek being like, come on Prentiss, give the guy a break.

“No.”

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I love this show.

“What kind of forensic countermeasures does he use to hide his trail?”

Ooh, smart puppy with a goatee.

“By the time you figure it’s in the Bahamas, he’s already moved it to Switzerland or somewhere else.”

Yup.

Too slow for this unsub.

“A con man’s first instinct is flight, not fight.”

“What makes him kill, though, isn’t financial, it’s psychological.”

Yikers.

“You’re kidding me.”

Fuck. Those are a LOT of files.

“White Collar cases often come down to a paper trail.”

“Maybe it won’t be so bad. I mean, at least it’s well organized.”

My positive poodle.

So in early cons he introduced himself as Bill, Billy or Will … so he probably is named William, if he hung back on those. Makes sense.

I’m so getting turned on watching my baby boy working on a computer. Smart is sexy.

Wait. My baby boy found a website the dude’s detectives didn’t find before? Oh, honey, now I see why they pay you the big bucks.

“His web design is pretty basic. I mean, it’s like a standard template.”

Whoa. Since when does Morgan know web stuff?

“Hey, baby girl, it’s me. You’re on speaker.”

“Oh, sug, I don’t care who hears it. It’s always been you.”

Oh my goodness fucking gracious, I love this woman to death.

Ha. My genius just found out nine more aliases that the dumdum didn’t know about. And that’s why she’s my goddess.

Well yeah, juggling ten aliases would confuse the noggin’.

Pensive poodle.

Ha. Unsub screwed up. You suck, dude.

He has a family? Oh god, this dude is messed up.

Hey, I know that kid from somewhere!

Wow, it’s the kid from Valentine’s Day! He’s hot now. And I’m allowed to say that, because he’s only eight years my … never mind. He’s younger than my little brother. Forget it. He’s cute.

Eager poodle.

“You’re not enjoying this, are you?”

“I like a good paper trail. I find it meditative.”

“Is it really that hard for you to be normal, just one time?”

Um, what’s normal, mister?

“If he’s working harder because of the economy, it makes sense that he would expand his operating zone.”

Oh dear.

“So what is it about San Diego that made him stay longer?”

Ooh, my poodle is onto something there.

“This unsub is a white collar con man who embodies what behaviorists call the dark triad: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and aberrant self-promotion.”

Sounds dangerous.

“What that means is that everything revolves around this guy. He manipulates and exploits others using dishonest tactics, and he’s become a menace to society.”

Uh-oh.

“He’s also what we call a Casanova con man.”

Oh god, I hate this asshole already. But I do get to hear Shemar say ‘Casanova’ XD

 Heh. He’s going nuts.

Wait, this means he’s gonna kill again. Oh boy.

Frack. He impregnated another woman. Boy, you in trouble!

How can he hit the woman when his kid is in the car? Fuck. “This dude is unstable as fuck.

“Em, I feel like I’ve been sent on a wild snipe hunt.”

Whoa, my goddess is aggressive.

“Do you have any idea how many women is South Florida lease luxury cars and rent mansions? I will answer. Too many. That’s how many.”

I love you so much, gorgeous.

“Okay, I’ll call you back when I’ve found the elusive snipe creature.”

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Oh god, this guy is seriously unhinged, someone find him already.

“Oh man, it is raining snipe all up in here.”

I love this woman so much.

Heh. He used the first victim’s client list to get his victims. Oh boy.

“She gave him access to a list of people with a large amount of liquid assets.”

They got him.

Boom.

Wait. The wife followed him around? Oh, she’s good.

Oops. He got blood on the checky. Someone’s in trouble. Heh.

“I just confirmed another potential victim. I sent a unit over.”

Resourceful poodle.

Did he just tell his kid to shut up? Oh god, this guy is devolving.

“Hey, Morgan.”

Yup, the dude picked his son up.

“They’re in the wind, kid.”

Frack.

Tracking the wife’s cell.

“Uno momento.”

“Something’s weird.”

Huh?

The wife has two phones? Why?

“He put them both in her name.”

Damn.

“Wait a second.”

Yup. She made the connection with the Sanchezes.

“Hotch.”

Yup.

Let’s see how they confront the fucker.

Oh dear lord, I hope this ends up not too badly.

Boom. Cornered.

Oh god, please don’t reach for that gun. Please.

Oh shit. Did that white collar agent dude kill him? Fuck.

And in front of the kid, too. Shit.

It was the car keys. Shit.

Sir Walter Scott: “Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.”

Wow. I just love those quotes so much.

So, to sum it up, this series is seriously perfect. A filler episode that had it all - drama, suspense, a bit of comedic relief to get us through it all, and just ... plain awesomeness! I love this show so freaking much!

Okay, I’m gonna leave it here for today (third episode to review in one day, yikes), and turn in. I’ll see you all tomorrow for the next one <3

I’m seriously beyond overwhelmed by the responses, you guys and it warms my geeky heart. THANK YOU!