#the way u didnt ask for that essay and yet
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are there social media accs you follow for book recs / how are you able to find such good books ? ty
I don't get my recs from social media (if you're thinking of booktok & bookstagram etc.), mostly from my go-to lit sites + my online friends. I'll give you a list below, but to find "good" stuff to read, you need to know what you like reading, not just genre-wise but also more in-depth, like characterisation, plot vs characters, style etc. It'll help you understand yourself better, and from there you can dive into newer styles within your preferred genre. for example, if you like reading historical fiction, specifically romance set in, say the regency era, try reading hsf but set in a completely different country or a thriller in that era instead. It's a much better way to read new stuff without jumping around too much and better than the advice that just straight up tells you to pick something up randomly outside of your favourite genres just because "it's good." also let your other hobbies and fav media influence your book choices if you're really into ceramics maybe read edmund de waal or if you liked a polish movie abt possessed nuns try lauren groff's matrix !
anyways, keep trawling thru archives of old defunct blogs, look at new literary sites, follow thirty-seven year old people on twitter, and always keep yourself open to new things!
Favourite accounts on goodreads & the storygraph: t. h./galileogallilei, priya reads, baba yaga reads, ygraine, sarah cavar, fluoresensitive, siluetas
on tumblr: @librarycards @firstfullmoon @paandaan @maeumsim @oldyears
on twt: david hering, aesthekeit and literally just go through my likes @ moodfiIms i have like a hundred best of lists there.
sites: lithub, flavorwire archives, five books, the new yorker, and just google best books of 2023 you'll find great sites
on instagram: (i follow these mainly for aesthetic reasons than anything else lol) letterarii, thegirlwhoreadsonthemetro, molsbymoonlight, yourstrulysalma, libraryofsoph <3
#also my socials are in carrd <3#ref: mine#on books and reading#ref#asks#the way u didnt ask for that essay and yet
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Saw you're family tree post and i love how fleshed how they are! Though i saw you say that that Angela had her own godparent, could you perhaps elaborate on that?
HIIII IM SO GLAD U ASKED... this is one of my fave hcs and im happy i could talk abt it
when she was younger, angela was not in a good headspace mentally, she was extremely depressed to put it lightly, she was also really anxious and when she was 10 she recieved cirrus swiftsky as a godparent, the best i could describe him was like a grandfather to her and looked sort-of fancy, he had a mustache and everything, this wasnt his first rodeo with a kid, hes been doing this for a good few fairy years
angela, altough she used escapism often by reading kids books, she wasnt very "imaginitive" as she describes herself, so her wishes werent anything extreme, and if anything just mostly talked to cirrus about things that were bothering to her, and he wasnt expecting to become a defacto therapist to this kid, he gave her life advice he vaugely remembered while studying to be a godparent (they take mandatory childrens psychology lessons) and gestured her over to try journaling for her thoughts
he often disguised himself as a orange butterfly when outdoors with her (to school, to the park etc), and at home would usually be their pet ferret, who was called tom by her parents
they lasted longer then the usual godparent-godkid duo, 2 years infact, however she was expected to leave him when she was 14 as she was still concidered not yet fully happy, she had accidently blurted it out when her brother walked in on her and she panicked, thus wiping their memories
godparents, if taken away before their kid has been properly reverted to being happy, arent allowed to visit them again, and godkids wont be given another one unless they are in desperate need of them, like if something else drastic happened, even if they are still miserable, this is a big countroversy in the godparenting industry (which i could go on about tbh)
angela, who used cirrus as an anchor, was EXTREMELY distraught, and if anything made her feel worse by the fact she couldnt remember why (codependancy problems, where have i heard that before!) and after afew weeks of refusing to leave her room she decided to go to the library as a way to slowly start getting back to it and she had picked up a psychology book, and thats where she started her psychology interest, along with vaugely remembering her doing jounraling, so she continued and it spiraled into how she is today
though she had picked up psychology books for older people, so she convinced herself she was more "mature" for her age, and even today she hasnt gotten the hang of how 10 year olds should actually work ("lets leave her untill shes ready to come to us" go talk to ur daughter?)
her parents - heather and felix campbell - werent horrible at all, just in the dark about what her kid was doing since she didnt like to share anything she liked with them at all, if anything they were slightly more "loose" if that makes sense, but because she was just anxious she worried that theyd get mad which they often didnt, if that makes sense
she never really had any friends in her life, as she decided she'd focus on that after shes done with her studies, she wasnt really a social outcast, if anything a little socially awkward, shes only had 1 friend during high school and her social life kicked off more in collage, everyone had respected her but she was more of a "i wont talk unless you talk" type of deal, on top of her grades because it gave her something to do in her free time (and she just enjoyed writing essays in general), and she had gotten much much better where she was now! only problem was that she was still anxious about presenting projects
when she was with postpartum depression after hazel was born she couldnt help but feel like she was missing a puzzle piece, yknow how it feels when you know youve forgotten something, but you dont know what? thats how she felt, thankfully she had gotten treatment quickly
hazel does get her more anxious side from her, angela is a good parent and has taught her children to communicate with eachother unlike how she did with hiding it, though she (unknowingly) struggles with properly understanding her 10 year old and being so focused on her work she cant sit down and 'think outside the box' as shes said
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why do u think act ur age is fucked
[cracks knuckles] alright. essay time. you asked for it.
I’ve done a similar response to this before here and mentioned something else about it here but I’ll go over it again since those posts are both from a while ago. also bear in mind I haven’t seen aya recently bc I don’t like it. okay let’s get into it
[also im gonna preface this saying maybe i sound very pessimistic but im ranting and its just gonna sound like im complaining because i am. i mean no real malice by the way. im simply a person with a blog.]
first off. they don’t use the show don’t tell as well as they could. in the what might have been montage, sure, they showed potential scenarios and how phineas felt (very briefly) when isa stopped visiting his backyard but it just feels so rushed. I get that they only had like 11 minutes to show it but idk there has to be another way to write it. or just not have it at all idk its just from a writing point of view the whole episode feels rushed and out of place from everything else continuity-wise. why not use little easter eggs planted in the show beforehand? operation crumbcake? pharmacists? meapless in seattle? god theres so many episodes with evidence that phineas liked her back even if he didnt know. just. continuity!!!!
second. why did their friends not try something sooner. it’s not like they didn’t know. like phineas seems to be okay with saying “i wish! i am so in the friend zone there” in front of his friends (that quote alone makes me lose my shit but that’s a whole other point) so clearly they knew about phineas. and isabella also wasn’t quiet about it (source: pnf s1-4). they had like four years of high school to do something and they planned it the day isa left for college? nah its just the least realistic thing ever for me. also them being 18 is like yeah okay maybe the slow burn was worth it and theyre way more grown up (i love a good slowburn) but ohhhhhh my god SURELY their friends were getting sick of them dancing around each other. just me?
third. and I’m sorry to ash simpson but oh my god I hate the character designs like They Would Not Fucking Look Like That. it almost feels like it completely disregards their arcs during the original summer. like yeah child chub disappears over ur teen years but sometimes it stays a little longer! make phineas less twiggy!! make isa look more like her mother! (am i about to redesign them again? whoops)
four. and i know this is no fault of dan and swampy but the show was about to end anyways and yet the entire friend group was paired off into hetero ships?? get fucking real. none of those kids are straight. realistically, i know it was a different time and gay marriage wasnt even legal in the us yet so it wasnt all that common to have queer romance on screen let alone on disney channel but like i said, the show was about to end. what were the disney channel execs gonna do? cancel it? lmao
five. "I am so in the friend zone there." "we are guys. we do not talk about our feelings." WHAT!!! i cant believe this shit is real. these lines of dialogue are canon. what the hell. what kind of message does that even send to younger, impressionable viewers? if ur a 10 year old boy watching that (ok fine maybe that isnt gonna stick with you forever but listen) and you go 'oh its okay to just bottle everything up and not tell my friends about my feelings about anything ever' that is insane! thats not how things should go!! like i get the whole "im so in the friend zone" and yes, this also has to do with the era but like if they wanted to be a more progressive cartoon that kids look up to and enjoy maybe they just. shouldn't have put that whole conversation in.
i barely have any problems with the b plot. in fact id watch the episode just for the kazoo solo. because that plot lines up with the continuity. i can totally see heinz having bowling night with perry and carl and monogram every week! i can totally see perry and monogram retired! and carl running owca and getting payed for it! that all checks out! that one makes sense and works with the canon! if they got that plot so right how did they get the a plot so wrong?
i can answer this question: fanservice. its an awful word, i know. act your age is a fanservicey episode which is why i think it crashed and burned. mml season 2 is rooted in the same issue: doof is very present and takes away from the original plot of the show. like, the one he wasnt even in until the last episode of s1. slightly getting off topic but it is the crux of the issue. fanservice doesnt make for good storytelling. even if it brings in the big bucks. at its core, telling the story the way it should be told is the best one. even if it pisses people off. a good portion of the viewers will still appreciate whatever ending the creators come up with. and no, im not saying phinbella shouldn't have become canon, in fact i really like the ship and all their dynamics, i just think they went about it the wrong way.
as someone who's written and published fic about them getting together in different universes (granted, they were from when i was younger so its mildly terrible. take them with a grain of salt) there are a lot of other ways to tell that story canonically. honestly, i think the best way of doing it was to keep it ambiguous. dont tell that story. let the viewers pick their own ending for phineas and isabella. maybe they dont get together after all. who knows!
thanks for the ask! hope you had fun getting lectured <3
#phineas and ferb#phinbella#act your age#ask#this was fun you guys should ask me more stuff like this#dwampyverse analysis
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DONUTS MEGA GIANT PICO'S SCHOOL OC DROPPPPP !!!!!!! RAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH THERES SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS!!!! THE WORLD JUST ISNT READY!!!! (I havent.. drawn all of them yet)
AAAAAAAA YAAYAYAYA OKAY SO A LOT OF THIS IS SUPER OLD.. BUT!! WHO CARES!! I still like all of these a lot :3 !! Some of these are unfinished and never will be because of how whiteboard is but shhh we don't talk abt it.. (I wouldn't have posted them if I didnt)
I dont wanna make this an essay so ill just share their names pronouns n age and not infodump about them all >_< (FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABT THEM OR DM ME ON DISCORD IF U WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM!! I have a server dedicated to nothing but me infodumping about all of my ocs :3!!)
The first gal is Joselyn (18) :3 !! She/Her :3 !! The screaming mf with the crazy hair is Noah !! They/Them !! The two gals in the 3rd pic are Carmen (17) ("If I could kill everybody, you'd be the only person I wouldn't kill <3") and Jennifer (17) ("You... have such a way with words, you know that?") :3 !!! (They love each other very much) !! Both She/Her !! THEN Then there's Seymour (15) !! He/Him! And then Henry (15) !! He/Him!! (They also love each other very much :3 !!) Then the ripped one with the uncolored hair is Julian/Julias/Julia (18)!! They/She/He !! THEN THERES SANDERS/SANDRA ! Their age is... complicated !! (theyr a demon :3!! But in this drawing specifcially theyre an "adult" :3 !!) ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITES!!AHAFHHGHH!! THEY/THEM/SHE/HE!! Then you have Lucy (18) (hair covering both of their eyes, excited and on the left) and June (19) (hair covering half of their face, totally not having it and on the right) !! Then the guy with the glasses and fluffy hair is Todd (17) !! He/Him !! The three "free thinkers" don't have names yet since i haven't worked on them at all... But the guy with the glasses uses he/him, the guy with the sparkling eyes and cat mouth uses he/him, and the person with the cat sweater uses any :3 !! Then oh my FUCKING god... saving my literal favorite oc in the history of my ocs... THERE'S PRICKO!! UMMUMMM IN ALL OF THESE THEY'RE AN ADULT!! AAAKSHKFKJSLHFK!!!!!! THEY/THEM!! I COULD LITERALLY TALK ABOUT THEM FOR HOURS DUDE... HHGDJHFJHDH!!!
And then rest is just a bunch of silly doodles!! Also the weird ghostly thing behind Noah in the little doodle is named glass !! If ur awesome u should already know that :3 !! IF U HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR ANYTHING ABOUT THEM PLLEEASSE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLAES FEEL FREE TO ASK!! I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY OCS SOOOOOO MUCH!!
Also I forgot to mention that my "version" of pico's school (the silly one in my head that all of my ocs are a part of) takes place during highschool !! :3
#pico's school#picos school#original character#ocs#my ocs#oc art#oc#doodle#whiteboard fox doodles#whiteboard fox#wb fox#pico's school oc#picos school oc#ibispaintx#ibispaint art#i love my ocs so much guys#this is only... 16 out of 100+.. holy crap#AAAAAAAAAAAHGSGHS i love pico's school i love my ocs oh my goodness#ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM PLEASSEEE 🙏🙏
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OKAY. SO. i'm going to be directly pulling from the wiki + ttrpg text & abridging some of it. here we go. little bowl of seeds for u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so. the circumstances leading up to the trigger event influence the power granted. half the state of mind, and half the scenario that they're in. taylor was in a situation where she was isolated, blind and powerless and felt like everyone was conspiring against her-- either directly (planning for fucking weeks to get her into the locker) or indirectly (ignoring her inside, not letting her out) etc. she triggered as a master, someone who can see everything and control so many things so exactly and specifically and she has something (her bugs) there for her, in some sort of fucked up companionship, in response to that. the overview is as follows!!
^this is the gist of it!!!!!! the ttrpg also goes into more in depth on many of these-- i won't send u 1 billion screenshots Now (spoilers in the gdocs u r Not allowed in there) but. here r a couple irt the nhw for flavor :}
also holy shit now i can be so so so fucking annoying about Why i gave the nhw the powers i did... i kind of got into it w/ the trigger events. but like. still..!!!!!!!!!!!
OHHHHHHHH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT. YEAH UR RIGHT I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT FROM THE WRONG ANGLE. OH MY GODDDD DUDE . THIS IS SO FUCKING TASTY. MY MIND IS GOING ABT A BILLION MILES AN HOUR RNNNN ohhhh god this got so long i gotta out it under a cut. im having so many thoughts dude
i would LOVE the essay about each of the nhw triggers btw. i can SEE your vision i can FEEL your vision. william feeling so fucking isolated in his hometown leading him to have master powers. his. idk weird relationship with ghosts/monsters/death coupled with his EXTREME near death experience manifesting in his breaker powers. UGHHH thats so good. TRUMP POWERS BEING CAUSED BY DIRECT INVOLVEMENT BY ANOTHER CAPE IN THE TRIGGER EVENT. VIRION WATCHING HIS DAD SLAUGHTER THEIR ENTIRE PARTY/FRIENDS/FAMILY. dakota being lost in the crowd after losing his parents, knowing something bad is happening but not knowing exactly what, catching glimpses of the fight and the blood and the horror but still not fully understanding, not knowing how or if he'll ever find his parents again and that manifesting in his thinker powers. also that zone/quick/farsight thing holy FUCK thats so failsafe. "loss of autonomy, being situationally restricted/overwhelmed" manifesting as sensing people in his immediate environment. "results from tunnel vision in views/character, incorrect perceptions" (can we say dakota damascus hero worship!) manifesting as powers that go beyond the usual senses (fear/pain sense!). i honestly think the Quick part would come more from his second trigger, which is what gives him the Mover powers right? "panic, frantic inability to solve problems, rushed errors" <- not being able to catch katori in time, making the split second decision to fall after her, manifesting as his mover/thinker powers. being able to make those split second decisions midair and Actually Accomplish them, but by the time he triggered they were already too close to the ground and he couldnt save her anyway (<< and theres the tragic irony)
ohhhh i didnt mean to go off so much about failsafe but that just gave me a lot of feelings about his triggers :( ANYWAY THINKING ABOUT ASHE NOW. GOD. OKAY. right now. how are we feeling about Shaker/Breaker. ok ok im having a lot of thoughts here bear with me. idk if u have a more clear trigger for him in mind but the thing ive been thinking about all day since u sent me that first ask is. the call going out to evacuate because simurgh is coming. ashe's mom has to go get him from school and its a mad rush with all of the other parents trying to do the same thing. instead of immediately leaving, they go back to the house for some reason (she forgot something important? maybe her phone so she had no way to contact mark/see if he was okay? idk i havent worked that out yet.) and shes just. running around frantically grabbing things getting ready to leave and ashe is standing in the doorway not knowing what to do or how to help. and its like an earthquake hits. (i just keep thinking about chris's death and how fucking. sudden and brutal it was it has stuck with me for some reason). something big or heavy falls on her and just . immediately crushes either one or both of her legs. totally unable to move. and ashe starts panicking and shes obviously panicking but trying so hard to keep it together not to scare ashe anymore than he already is. and she tells him to go, tells him to follow the other people who are leaving, maybe find one of their neighbors and go with them. (side note here. if she got her phone. i want her to text mark here and tell him to come home. something really short and terrifying and panic inducing that breaks him out of his hesitation. "need help, come home, cant leave" something like that. worlds most miserable man these are the last words he has of his wife aha) ashe doesnt want to leave his mom! hes just a kid he doesnt know what the endbringers are or why theyre so scary or why THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR is so bad!! she keeps telling him not to worry, that dad will meet him there when hes safe, ashe immediately asks something like "but what about you?" and its very. disney movie parent dying level of tragedy. he triggers when she eventually cant hold it together anymore either from the pain or the panic and just starts. screaming at him. ashe you need to go you cant stay here you need to leave me im not coming with you etc etc etc.
ANYWAY. ALL THIS TO SAY. shaker powers come from environmental/ambient danger. i.e. a literal endbringer attack. maybe the house isnt structurally sound anymore but he doesnt want to leave his mom. breaker powers come from . well this is more of me maybe forcing the issue but i want the trickster to be a separate form or something. the abstract stressors here being. he knows something bad is happening but he doesnt know exactly what. he knows his mom cant move but he wants her to be able to so she can leave with him, shes yelling at him telling him to go, he doesnt know where his dad is, he doesnt want to go by himself. etc etc do you feel the vision here. taking this directly from that last paragraph about breakers too but like "knowing a situation is dangerous but not wanting to leave" yknow!!!!! i dont know exactly how this would manifest yet but goddd just. imagining it as something like. his shaker powers are the ones he can actually control and use normally but the trickster/breaker powers is what he turns into in situations similar to his trigger, where someone he loves is in danger. but the irony of it is that he cant really control his actions as the trickster and he just kind of. goes berserk on whatever is around him. absolutely brutal, maybe a little sadistic; its kind of perfect for situations like overlord where they do actually need to kill someone to get out of the situation, but with things like his trigger. well. the only living thing around him was his mom. so . wasnt pretty. is this anything . im in so much pain about this
final FINAL side note. i know we have mark as a cauldron cape but even if we didnt i think both his classifications working so fucking well ESPECIALLY tinker "solutionless problems over long periods, resulting in a crisis moment" what is more of a solutionless problme than knowing you and your son have been marked by the simurgh and deciding that instead of following protocol youre going to say fuck it all and get the two of you out of there by. nuking your entire lives and faking new identities and struggling to bounce back from somehting like that all while knowing the inevitability of. the fact that youve BEEN MARKED BY THE FUCKING SIMURGH. (also striker "results from an immediate threat, usually a single object or individual" hello? coming home to find your son in some demonic berserk state and your wife a bloody mess on the floor all while theres this overbearing scream/singing in your head ??? okayyyyy)
#GOD. THIS IS SO MUCH. TO BE FAIR I DID WARN YOU I WOULD BE SO INSUFFERABLE ABOUT NHW WINTERS FAMILY WHEN I GOT TO LEARN ABOUT THEM.#I DID WARN YOU. HI. I LOVE THEM. IM THINKING ABOUT THM SO MUCH literally all but one of my FOUR current wip fics involve either ashe or mar#i love them so much. guck#new haven wards#hiiiiii ros. hi. ohhhh my god. oh my god. oh hhhh my god dude. okay enough of this im going back to reading about noelle FUCKING FINALLY#YIPPPE#asks#friends!!!#wormposting#intertexts#also side note not important but you DID ask me the other day what i think my powers would be in worm. i AM still going to say#changer because ayyyyy transgenderisms and appearance issues for Basically My Whole Life#BUT IM SO MAD . I WOULD PROBABLY ALSO BE A MASTER. THE ONE THAT SCARES ME THE MOST. GOD DAMN IT.#I MEAN MASTERS ARE REALLY COOL BUT IM A GUY WHO HAS WEIRD RELATIONSHIPS WITH PUPPET IMAGERY. AND THE MOST TRAUMATIC MOMENT OF MY LIFE HAS A#LOT TO DO WITH BETRAYAL AND ISOLATION AND ALIENATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#<< this is slash silly btw i fucking love thinking abt stuff like this because im an insane person
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okok catching up on troubleverse WHEWW and i have the perffff song for them, paired with the lyrics verse-for-verse and me screaming shrilly LMAOOO.
but this song is sosososo perf, like everything abt it from the lyrics to the singer's erratically paced singing to the general unhinged vibes and. IT SHARES A NAME WITH THE ENTIRE SERIES TOO OMG-- 'partner in crime' by madilyn mei!! i haven't listened to my folk indie queen for a hot minute but i had to pull it out from the dusty archive of my skull for u 😗😗
When you're gone I feel alone again / The voices cannot hold my hand / They keep me company at very best / Distract me from my loneliness
insanity mention?? dionysus the god of mania?? HELLOOOO CAN THOU HEAR ME [rattling at the bars of containment]
Maybe I'm just an anomaly / Even my demons have their families / Truly something must be wrong with me / To need you as much as I do
smth must be wrong with trouble to need luke as much as she does and vice versa smth smth okay like. i think the whole thing abt him being trouble's ESA from buddy system is saying enough 😭😭
I was never meant to win / [... maniacal laughing] SHUT UP!
THE LAUGHING AND THE MUTED SHUT UP HERE JUST GETS ME. straight chills, ik it didnt happen but during love like a blister if trouble screamed at the other counselors out of rage and the campers heard it the way it sounded in the song UGH. I WAS NEVER MEANT TO WIN. THEY DON'T EVER WIN BC LUKE HAS BEEN DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE OMFG.
Here's the reigns / Take ahold of me / Please don't let me go / You do the talking / Sew up my mouth if I can't keep it closed
BUDDY SYSTEM CODED when they're on the road trip bc the image just comes to mind instantly, like if they see questioning adults luke has to do the sweet talking bc trouble is lowkey a pro yapper and can't keep her mouth shut at all. AND 'here's the reigns take ahold of me' NO WORDS no words at all just vibes bc wdym. i just think that luke being vulnerable to trouble and talking abt his mom as if he were giving her the reigns to his personal life ermm.
Run for it / I'll keep em occupied for you / Cause I love you, I love you so
SOMEBODYS ANGEL SAVE ME SOMEBODYS ANGEL SAVE ME. trouble stepping into the battle with ladon to save luke, 'run for it i'll keep [LADON] occupied cause i love you i love so' I AM SICK. SOMEONE MAKE ME SOME CONGEE UGHHH.
I'm 'bout to die / Yet the only thing I find i'm worried about is you / Something tells me you aren't coming / Guess that I'm truly doomed
i saw ur synopsis of asking for trouble like. he's dying and the only thing he can think abt. is trouble??? r u kidding me? and then trouble supposedly pleading his case with the olympians in the as above so below synopsis DONT TELL ME that trouble is gonna be too late for luke and so he dies thinking that she still hates him (based off what im assuming from the when the curtains close synopsis, 'all strings r cut' WDYM??)
I overhear your brain when it's close to mine / Oh, I know that we're not the same / My heart's on the line / I'm just a pawn in your game / Not your partner in crime
JO THEY R SUPPOSED TO BE PARTNERS IN CRIME HELLO. solipsism c'mere i just wanna talk bc drunk!trouble seeing luke from a different timeline and KNOWING HE'S REALLY THERE BUT IT ISNT HIM = 'i overhear your brain when it's close to mine / oh, i know that we're not the same' THEY ARE ON DIFFERENT WAVELENGTHS IN THE MOST LITERAL SENSE POSSIBLE WITH TIME in this essay i will--
You're slowly killing me / Taking your- (I was never meant to win)
luke to kronos, the titan is slowing killing him from the inside out the longer he's possessing luke. HE WAS NEVER MEANT TO WIN UGH. i need to put maddie and u in affectionate jail bc ASDFGHJKL goodbye i am finished. troubleverse is sososoo evil, like this is srsly what everyone else feels when they read jubi bc if it is i am so sorry for everything.
to conclude jo, ily but i also am gobsmacked with my mouth hanging wide open and catching flies bc this whole thing is unbe-fucking-lieveable. the way u built their whole ass relationship from the ground up and swung a baseball bat into it like ok i need to take a business month to process this for reasons known and unknown, my bags r packed up at the airport, who cares abt my chem grade, it is sabbatical time WHEWW
THEOOOOO IM SCREAMING UNTIL MY HEAD EXPLODES THE SONG REC IS SO GOOD??? how tf did i miss that
i am so happy that you made the troubleverse part of your day it is an honor to have you connect the dots from your perspective and see how everything is playing out!! you in my brain ill make you congee BAHAH you've been the only one to put some of the dots together for the final arc (or at least voice it, thank you for being brave) and i will neither confirm nor deny but your analysis is pretty spot on for someone who binge read it today thank you so much!!
study for chem no rest for the weak >:( love youu
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full honesty before i look things up, when i said "the maker made the stone and then she made dwarves" i was at least partially thinking about how aulë made dwarves in lord of the rings
but there is a codex about dwarven faith in origins ("Codex entry: Dwarven Faith") and it does offer some interesting insight, since it changes depending on whether the warden is a dwarf or not. i'd quote the parts about the stone in both versions but they would make the ask extremely long; a top highlight though is brother genitivi, in the non-dwarven codex, saying dwarves don't have gods at all in the most, uh, disdainfully andrastian way, even if the dwarven side of the codex does say they don't "vie for the favor of absent gods"
also according to the wiki's page on The Stone, dwarves do indeed believe themselves to be literally born of the stone aka the earth itself, and that they venerate her but they don't worship her as a god, and that she's believed to be a "living and shifting entity with a will that surrounds and guides the dwarves" as well as "supports them, shelters them, and offers them the most priceless gifts of the earth" (including lyrium). it also brings up underground dwarves' stone sense and how, according to origins' codex entry on lyrium, dwarves "[find] veins in the Stone quite literally by ear" (<- note capitalization). apparently once they go to the surface they lose their abilities too so. yeah
re: theology finally i think, in-universe, "what is the stone" and "who made the dwarves" and all of this is probably a matter of pure unadultered "pogostick satan"-tier academic theological debate within the chantry's scholars, flipped table and all, and again what i'll say is based on my baseless silly speculation/guess, but: if andrastians do actually believe that "the maker made the stone and then she made dwarves [and so they aren't children of the maker]", my takeaway on how it works is that if a human gives birth to another human, their entire people was still created by the maker, so the baby is still a child of the maker because it was like, conceptualized i guess by the maker. he decided what babies would look like and such.
meanwhile dwarves as a people would be believed to be created by the stone, and so theoretically they weren't conceptualized by the maker, or at the very least he didnt have a direct hand in realizing the concept (idk if andrastianism subscribes to the idea that "the maker planned for everything that has ever happened and ever will"? but if it does i figure the explanation is that when the maker made the stone, he knew that it would design and create dwarves as a concept, but he didnt design and create dwarves /himself/ and instead let the stone do that, and so they're a step removed rather than being a direct creation. i figure)
all that theology does hinge on my interpretation that "they could say the maker made the stone and then she made dwarves" though, which could easily be complete and total heresy. in fact that might be why josie is nervous about inquisitorial stone veneration, because the inquisitor venerating the stone yet being favored by andraste can be interpreted as divine confirmation of a heresy from 200 years ago and that might make the chantry triple hate you
apologies for the long ask, dwarves are just interesting lol
if i write a full response to this the post will be essay length but this is all super interesting and i am eating it thank u
#theres nothing i love more than fantasy theological debate. nothing#i should tag all this#dwarf lore#long post#and yeah my instinct is also that it borrows from lotr
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Im just soso obsessed with figuring out tim as a character rn i cant stop thinking abt it (ive always been a jason todd girlie but i read ur fic and that angsty twink latched onto me and refuses to let go)
I think u have a pretty good hold of him, especially bc in present comics writers are so intent on elevating tim in spite of other characters (barbara and her hacking skills for example, or any comparison made btw him and any robin, really) that most portrayals of him are so boring it makes me cry, while you on the other hand took the approach to write about his flaws (which are MANY) while still making him charming and handsome (he is so... !!!!)
To me flaws are also tied to not only the good traits of characters but also their core beliefs and ideals so what can you say abt tim?
I know he can be stupidly arrogant and patronizing at times, that he's always idolized the position and legacy of robin and constantly fights his insecurities with this role and his abilities for the job, that he can also be incredibly selfish or outright mean when it comes to being mindful of other people's feelings for the sake of logic (re when he didnt tell tam abt his dad not being actually dead), but at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me
(Im in the midst of reading his solo robin run but ive read red robin so give me a little room for this, you are definitely free to talk abt more of his comics bc i havent read everything yet and everything im saying should be taken with a grain of salt, video essays and the issues ive read can only get me so far)
He could have gained an inherent desire to help people after all his time as robin and the so fucked up shit that happened to him, maybe as a ways to channel his grief (much like dick and jason and bruce, im thinking abt identity crisis here) after he isnt "needed" as robin anymore, but at the same time that would be so tragic because he was supposed to be different to them, he was supposed to remark the importance of robin's role in helping be "batman's light" and not becoming like batman himself, its just so interesting and im still trying to really understand the extent of his character so id just. Love to get ur thoughts and musings on what fuels tim as a character and how you see him
(I dont have this problem with jason bc his moral conflict is very crystal clear to me and also so freaking juicy, his actions are logical and so understable, granted he also hasnt had as much screentime as tim and i can see when writers just Dont Get Him, misunderstanding the original intent of his character coming back etc etc etc, tim has grown and evolved throughout his tim as robin so this might factor in too)
Anyways sorry for the long post i hope this is alright !!! Loved ur fic to bits and ur writing is a blessing mwah
okay HI i am not exaggerating when i say that i have been thinking about this ask since you sent it HAHA tim is just a parasite in my brain he won't let go...
that's the funny thing about portrayals of him today... i feel like people want to elevate him as a potential batman or a character closest to bruce in terms of intelligence and detective skills, which isn't true at all, i think (because, exactly, you have babs Right There), and of course, narratively, this is all a good thing (this post covers it well, i think). it's in the same vein of people making tim out as the most dangerous person in the batfam, should he ever chose to go down the path, which i can partially blame red robin (2009) for with this panel....
(and i don't think that's true either. he has the potential to be dangerous just like any of the others but i think the ones to really be scared of are babs, dick, and cass but ANYWAY)
in general, red robin 2009 was a bumpy time for tim with bruce's death and his spiraling, but it seemed to really inform what they were going to do with his character. no more time for the civilian life, committing himself much more thoroughly to The Mission like bruce. which is, if you ask me, a negative progression of his character, which isn't bad, exactly, in terms of storytelling, but it feels like all we get are the 'good parts' now -- the intelligence, the status, the resources, and then we don't get to grapple with the consequences.
there were some in red robin 2009 but it was more tim accepting them and making no move to change his actions, which is fine, but now... idk. but i also don't touch modern comics with a ten foot pole so this could just be. Wrong. but that seems like what's going on. so i feel like that's where people get the idea of him being... idk not the Perfect Robin exactly but. you know?
no no yeah i totally agree!
re (because i want to break this down i'm telling you i have Been Thinking About This): at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me
exactly this. he did say that and i've reblogged this at some point i think, showing a panel from robin 1993 where he mentioned he wouldn't be a vigilante forever, then paralleled with that panel i put in earlier from red robin 2009. (there's this post, which touches on another thing about tim trying to set himself apart as having friends and thus not being bruce LOL which is another topic entirely)
i think that was what red robin 2009 was - a negative progression of his character, one that, again, we never really grapple with, especially as dc shoves robin back onto him now.
his motivations are an interesting thing to me, because he did start out coincidentally, saying batman needed a robin but he didn't assume he'd be that robin, it just kind of happened because he was there (well much more went into it but you know?).
but aside from that, i've never gotten the impression tim really does it for people. i mean batman in general has been about the detective work but i think towards the 80s/90s/00s there was a shift to focusing on the people but tim has never really struck me as a hero of the people. he's more about fighting crime than he is about helping people. i think it is partially informed by the genre - re detective comics, etc - but still. he's not like, say, peter parker/spider-man, who is a hero of the people, of the working class. the people are inherent to him as spider-man. tim does it out of duty and responsibility i think, being the light to batman's dark, of course, but he's also very much a teenage boy about being robin - the cool factor, pointedly mentioning he wants to let off steam by knocking around 'criminals' that kind of thing
which doesn't mean he's unfit for it but he operates in an odd grey area as far as his motivation goes, which i think is where we get red robin? he was defined by being robin and he did his job, then he got the boot. so it is very much an identity crisis but we're seeing that negative change as he changes for the worse, for something darker. i mean, yes, red robin 2009 was again bumpy because he was at a very low point in his life but in general, that run was dark for him.
editorial wise, we'd never get to see what they made of it because they did the reboot and started new-52 a few years after. but whether he'd continue being red robin/going down this path, or if he'd shed the identity and go for something lighter... it's hard to say.
i kind of like the thought that he'd change his identity and try to take a lighter approach, try to pull himself from bruce's influence, though with how it's all set it up, it seems fated that he'd end up there. there was red robin 2009, but then there was his sixteenth birthday incident (which sounds bad here and i'd read this before reading it myself but god when i read it it pissed me off so bad... really what turned me off bruce as a 'good' father figure, i can't lie). he ultimately ends up going back and becoming robin and this is the turning point for him where he agrees to enter this mindset that bruce wants him to be in. (this post talks mainly about timsteph but it is also a point to the end about the shift in his character and how that affected his relationships as well)
i mean i know red robin 2009 is marked by the grief of bruce's 'death' and a bunch of other Very Bad Shit but even when we got past that and he had his little 'Let me let in the people who love me because i am Not batman' he then proceeded to go a little surveillance crazy and make a hit list (something like that, it's been a while..) but. yeah.
ultimately, at the core of his character, i think he is good and compassionate and kind, so, even aside from all that (like the birthday incident), i think he would've made his way there eventually. it could maybe be why we see him returning to robin, if we wanted to try and pretend dc making him be robin is a completely normal and logical decision that they actually thought through. like a way to return to the bases and feel it out from there. though i still think they could've just. idk. given him a BREAK from vigilantism to figure it out. i'm a big proponent of civilians and their place amongst vigilantes and superheroes and i feel like tim's due a break, which is why i put that stuff in my fics. i do want to see him step back and try to figure out his life, because at one point, though robin 1993 was arguably defined by the balance between robin and tim drake and had plenty of civilian friends to keep things interesting, we don't see much as far as what he wants to do. which i suppose could be part of his relatability factor that tim drake, the character, was conceived with
but idk at this point they have to give us something 😭 anyway. this got VERY long i am very sorry.. i don't mind long asks either but i might've overshot my response... alas. i also hope i more or less answered your question??? if not feel free to slide back in here and talk to me! i rambled a bit here and it's like. 3am rn i'm scheduling this to post because i wanted to get it all written Now and. yeah.
thank you SO much very happy to hear you're enjoying everything <333 hope you continue to enjoy :**
#also thank YOU for all your thoughts?? like i said i was Thinkign About This#and i had posts in mind for it and yeah. yeah. i was thinking about it all week HAHA#but also like twin brain moment because you get him <3 he is charming and handsome but he also has SOOOO many flaws and is actually rlly#annoying and puts his foot in his mouth TOO MUCH#so. YEAH. sorry this is long don't feel obligated to respond to All Of This <3 but if you have any q's feel free to ask <3#inbox#long post
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HAIII👋👋👋FELLOW PV ENJOYER I just wanna say I LOVE UR ART SM🥺🥺the way u draw pv is SOSOSOSOSO COOL N FUNKY I LOVE IT SMMM I usually don’t follow accounts that post purecacao not becauz i hate the ship it’s just not really my thing (also becauz my besties fav ancient is lily and we like making aus together a lot so it’s just easier 2 slam our faves together HSHSHD) but but BUT!! u are the EXEPCTION i just cannot resist ur pv art swagger. it is too pretty it is TOO MUCH OF. A LOT OF GOOD THINGS I DON’T WANNA MAKE A HUGE LIST RN BUTBUT ur gonna get spammed with notifs from me in a second becauz im going through ur pv tag and reblogging ur art of him. I actually saw ur art a lot earlier but. i didnt interact with it idk why I just didn’t feel like writing out a ton of tag compliment essays that day and then I just continued to put it off,, the wonders of having the disorder(s? I just recently got on meds for add but I’m not actually properly diagnosed yet) (also I’m autistic so disorders plural I think) I literallt have no other excuse for not interacting with ur art sooner other than. executive dysfunction sucks and also becauz I wasn’t sure if u were the type of real and TRUE!! purecacao shipper 2 still think lily is shippable or were one of the kinds of people to demonize lily insanely a lot. I had 2 unfollow some1 before becauz they made an extremely negative post about lily that made me kindof uncomfy but. seeing as u also ship hollylily(valid btw) I think it’s time I finally follow u becauz. I love ALL UR ART SM!!!! and I wanna eat it stuff it into my mouth like a chipmunk and run away with it forever it is so. ur style is soooososo unique but in such a visibly appealing way it boggles my MIND when people manage 2 make such unique art styles look SOSO GOOD especially since the only way I was able 2 make my art look okay was 2 make it look. less unique idk. no clue what spawned me 2 ramble on for this long idk I just. think ur art is cool okay. I see ur pv art and my eyes light up n go shiny like big sparkly anime eyes the way u draw is just so. sosososoososo. so. insert every compliment physically possible here I can’t possibly stress this enough just. art. pretty. and I’m envious that ur not even that much older than me I hope that. my improvement speeds up in the next 2-3 years it would b really cool if my art was just as cool as urs when I’m 19. idk. end of ask I’ve gone on for too long I’m sorry I hope u don’t mind. whatever this is ig
this means so much to me holy shit i’m so happy you like my art. and i’m very happy ur a lily enjoyer too!!! i totally agree with you, people demonize her way too much (probably because she “gets in the way” of ppls “gay ships” WHICH I HATE THAT EXCUSE). i still ship purelily, i like to imagine it as a relationship they had in the past. i’m not gonna ignore what they have in canon cuz it’s obvious they loved each other!!! (i’m not gonna freak out when i see other ships with the characters i like LOL). i still love lily and i want her to be happy, she has an incredible amount of depth to her character. she’s not heartless, but she’s not a shy damsel in distress like how other people depict her as well. she’s flawed and incredibly multidimensional, and i hope i have the opportunity to show that more often :D that makes me happy to hear you’re still open to other artists that ship different (normal) things, i hope you enjoy what i draw in the future as well!! i love the ancients a lot and i love other ancients-fans as well!!!
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💖 + the witcher!
ah ash hiii! thank u so much this is honestly one of my favorite series ever and okay i have been thinking on this RUMENATING all day bc there’s so MANY characters in this series that i love? i would say my fav character (and the ones who got my into the series!) would be isengrim and dettlaff! i only gave lhysa and nyctemine the best after all ✨😌 but no seriously i just LOVE them as characters overall? they’re both so pretty and nuanced as characters? the lore behind isengrim and dettlaff’s story in blood and wine are both things that i will never fail to adore about a character u know? UGH ✨🤧🖤🖤
send me 💖 + a fandom and i’ll tell you my fav character!
#🍯: ash#honeysides#leg.txt#leg.abt#ASH I ADORE U AND THANK U FOR THE ASK ✨🥺🖤🖤 i hope it doing well hun!#but ALSO i haven’t finished reading all the books yet so we’ll see if this changes u know?#the way i had to FIGHT not saying it’s an oc aksjjxk bc at this point they’re a part of the canon in my head HA ✨🥴💖#(but if i had to choose in THAT department it would be lhysa without a doubt ✨😌)#(the most developed and nuanced of my character in the series (and just overall?) LOVE HER. the runner up would be martyna or nyctemine!)#I’ve been LOVING learning about lenore AHH she’s the best! 🖤 and the need to write for Talia is growing stronger by the second zjzhxhjx#kznzjxjx me and not being able to choose one so i chose two ✨😌🖤🖤#also! jaskier! BC OH MY GOD DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH HIS CHARACTER WATCHING S2 AND IN REPLAYING THE WITCHER 3 ✨🤧#like his growth as a character in both the show and the books and the games overall is just *MUAH*#it’s one of my favorite things about him? like i didnt expect to love him as much as i have as of late!#aka nyctemine’s OTHER love interest!!!!!! bc she deserves it!#BUT ANYWAY i hope you enjoy this mini witcher lore essay about how the beloved fool jaskier somehow made himself one of my favs! 🖤🖤#and this lore essay on one of my fav series 🖤🥺✨ i could do a whole essay with citations jsjzjx i love it sm ✨🤧
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thoughts while watching the john adams series as my will to tolerate men decreases pt 2: imdepemdemce
“manure is an art. and i consider myself. an accomplished artist.” you what, john???
charles abuse 1
the gore in this will never compare to that of turn, but then again, idk if anything will. turn really said “you didn’t think the human body could look like that? fr?? that sucks, now you know not to be so fucking dumb lol”
imma fucking make myself cry thinking of mama look sharp from 1776. that song fucks me up every time bro
YAAAS RADICALIZE HIM SLAAAYYY VIVE LA RÉVOLUTION
“men need to think that they have made their own decisions” no bc let’s unpack that. let’s process this. in this essay i will-
“i think everyone not in favor of moderation or compromise should be castrated 🥰” TELL THEM BENNY BOOTS THE HOUSE
AAA THERES JEFFERSON LOOK AT THAT LITTLE PISS MAN STANDING BY HIMSELF LITTLE PISS BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺 LOOK AT HIM ABOUT TO SHIT HIMSELF THAT VIRGINIA HASNT BEEN TALKED ABOUT YET 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 SOMEONE GET HIM AN DIAPER FAST
ugh dickinson, my little meow meow 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
the way i talk about the founding fathers is deplorable i should stop. doesn’t mean i will.
OMG SJSBWKWN OMG I FORGOT WASHINGTON WAS THERE HOLY FUCK JUMPSCARE WARNING PLS THANK YOU
im not even paying attention to the debate, ive heard it so many times. but honestly we need to talk about how shitty adams was at debating. like he’s so mad and for what?? you sound 12.
we also need to address that new hampshire was an og from the beginning but no everyone talks about massachusetts and virginia 🙄🙄🙄🙄
omg ben franklin talking about his brother. i never caught that detail before. thats so cool tho, bc his brother was like his mentor in both journalism and pissing off the british governmentn
washington is so slay in this ngl. he fucks tbh but put him in a british uniform. do it. no balls do it. bc thats what he wore sweetie
“not generosity, mr adams, duty.” OMG YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS??? embarrassing
bro his first line and jefferson’s already complaining. grow up, shit boy
ouchie
bro these kids are gonna be so traumatized, and just for that, im adding a charles abuse point charles abuse 2
every time adams stands up, part of me dies
*slow turn towards washington* washington: fuckfuckfuckfuckfUCKFUCKFUCK-
charles abuse 3
yo the actor who played hancock really put his whole hanussy into the reading of the king’s proclamation. there’s so much emotion in it and he still stays professional. its just 🤌
MY NAME IS RICHARD HENRY LEE VIRGINIA IS MY HOME MY NAME IS RICHARD HENRY LEE VIRGINIA IS MY HOOOOOME
the parallel of charles playing with toy cannons to him making musketballs 🤌🤌🤌
HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX-
charles abuse 4
“we call that one liberty. and that one- stuck in the myre-… INDEPENDENCE *laughs motherfuckerly*”
adams: so uh… this is pretty important righ- jefferson: i want to sink great britain 😐 adams: u- uh, well… i didnt ask-
“now who do you think will join us in this folly? 🤨” “*without hesitation* france.” yeah pretty much
me every time rutledge speaks: something lgbtq just happened to me
“*takes off wig* when demosthenes- *puts wig back on* whEN DEMOSTHENES-“ no bc wtf was that. like why did you do that
okay im only halfway through but i already have more that enough for this post so ✌️
#john adams#john adams series#historical drama#i want to put jefferson in my pocket to see if he turns into crumbs over time
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i like your hc of beiguang having a seasonal relationship and not using labels, i used to think that as well bc of ning’s title and her reputation she prob can’t be seen publicly with a pirate? but last update we saw them and they were on vacation together so now i’m more curious than ever about just what kind of relationship they actually have lol i don’t doubt it’s romantic but they feel like an old married bickering couple now 😭 (i hope sending ask here is okay, anon’s off on your main)
hii anon!! just wanna let u know this ask brought me SO MUCH JOY bc IM DOWN BAD FOR THESE TWO and I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE SAW THE POST I MADE
i didnt know i turned off anon ask for my main tho - oops
this post is getting much longer than i planned for lmfao you absolutely did not ask for a whole ass essay but here we are
i imagined them having a seasonal relationship in the other post, partly bc of how different they are in small ways (like taste of food, etc) - they probably can't stand each other if they actually lived together for a long period of time without making some concessions lmfao. it could also be because of my own bias... to me, they both seem like people who have way too much on their plates to have a stable relationship. maintaining a relationship is something that takes a lot of energy and company, and i don't rlly see either of them want it *that* badly to sacrifice what they could have been doing instead. having a seasonal relationship is the least cumbersome option
tbh, i agree with u - it would make sense if they acted more distant in public, but then we saw they bickering during moonchase and in the bartending event. in ningguang's hangout, even an npc acknowledged that beidou and ningguang are close. so it doesnt seem like they are rlly hiding it. it's probably a public knowledge by now
they do have some front for their relationship, though - for ningguang, she needs someone to do the dirty work & intrigue for her, and she chose beidou. for beidou, she needs someone to overlook some of the illegal stuff she did. but tbh i think they probably realized early on how well they work together and how similar they are deep down. it's esp fun to think abt all the exceptions ningguang made for beidou (allowing beidou to make jokes on her expense, being honest and straightforward with her when it comes to her plans, inviting beidou for chess, etc), and all the times that beidou complains abt ningguang yet does exactly what she asks for
it becomes rather difficult to label the relationship when your life becomes entangled with another person in so many ways and for a long time
i also absolutely love that they play chess together & travel together, btw (even tho the description of Liyue Millennium sounds more like a fancy monopoly rather than chess to me lmfao). even if one does not see their relationship as romantic, it is still very clear that they know each other extremely well & are on the same level intellectually, and they acknowledge each other's abilities
it's also interesting to consider how long they actually know each other. from the bartending event we know that beidou knows very well of ningguang's past. did they know each other when they were younger, or did they confide their past to each other as adults? either way, i think it shows how close they are and how much trust they have of the other.
tl;dr: they are madly in love and they can't stand each other, and they are absolutely partners in crime, i love them
#beiguang#ask#genshin impact#nobody asked for this long essay but im not that sorry#ehe#thank u so much for the ask!#this took me a while to write bc i keep getting distracted and have to reread it#just so im not typing a pile of incoherent bs lmfao
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Little Red Lies - Chapter 1
Or, AUgust 2021 Day 10 - Fake Dating
{Next}
Words: 5,439
[Booked tckts yet? virge wants 2 check u still need 2 places 4 reception dinner]
Trash Rat 22:57
[cant w8 2 meet ur new ~date~]
Trash Rat 22:58
Roman stared at the messages for several long seconds, then groaned.
[Of course I booked tickets. Yes I still need the +1 seat.]
Roman 23:04
[cant believe u havent even sent a pic or yk a name]
Trash Rat 23:06
[no shame if ur still </3 ovr remy]
Trash Rat 23:06
[even tho its been 2 yrs now]
Trash Rat 23:07
[Of course I’m over remy. You’ll meet my boyfriend when we get there. He’s shy.]
Roman 23:07
Roman seriously considered throwing his phone across the room and booking a plane ticket to Alaska rather than Manhattan. That way, he wouldn’t have to go to his brother’s wedding and admit that he was most definitely single and most definitely not over his ex boyfriend (of seventeen months - two years was an unfair exaggeration).
[u kno virge h8s not knowing whos coming to his wedding right]
Trash Rat 23:10
[I know, I know, I’ll apologise as soon as we get there. He’ll be first to meet my bf, promise.]
Roman 23:11
[book ur fuckin plane tckts ro, I know u didnt do it yet]
Trash Rat 23:11
Roman threw his phone across the room.
It bounced off of his Heathers poster and landed on his desk, which was covered in scripts, textbooks, empty takeout containers, balled up bits of paper, crumpled drinks cans, and pens, and Roman buried his face in his pillow and groaned.
Ten months ago, Roman’s sister had flown down to Los Angeles, dragged Roman out of bed and announced that he was actually Roman’s brother. Almost sooner than Roman had been able to take this in stride, Virgil had added that he was marrying his boyfriend in December and would Roman mind being one of his groomsmen? While Roman was still reeling from the bombshell that was the fact that their gremlin of an elder brother Remus was Virgil’s best man, Virgil had leaned forward and asked if Roman was doing alright because he couldn’t help but notice that his dorm room resembled ‘the result of an explosive going off in a pigsty’.
Roman had blinked dumbly at him, nodded, and then started pressing for details about Virgil’s wedding. Eventually, his brother had promised that he’d get Patton, his fiance, to call Roman to discuss every detail, from location to napkin frills, and Roman felt that he had managed to avoid the topic of how he was doing.
When he and Remy had first broken up, midway through last July, Roman had gone to pieces. He had spent the end of the summer holiday between his first and second years locked in his room and listening to the same few songs on loop until Virgil, who was three years older and had been packing his things to move into his new apartment, had put his fist through the wall between their rooms. Then Roman had put his headphones on. It wasn’t Virgil’s fault that he was too uncivilised to appreciate the wonders of ‘Michael In The Bathroom’, ‘Someone You Loved’, or ‘Impossible’, after all.
Then Roman had gone back to university, where he had tried to drown himself in reading for his degree, and instead ended up sleeping through lectures after all-night crying sessions. He had tried to submerge himself in his essays and instead ended up daydreaming about his ex-boyfriend in study sessions. He had tried to get involved in theatre productions, but every audition had gone sour, and he often ended up thinking about the few times he and Remy had met up over the previous year rather than learning his lines.
Everyone had said that long distance relationships would be hard, but Roman, the romantic fool that he was, had insisted that they could do it.
They couldn’t.
Eight months ago, nine months after the two of them had broken up, two months after Virgil had announced his wedding plans, Remus and his partner had flown into Los Angeles and tried to stage an intervention. This had involved Remus trying to seduce the campus security guard and almost getting reported to the police (Roman had always insisted that his mustache only made him look sketchy), followed by Janus sneaking past the pair of them and into the building. Remus had somehow managed to join him moments later, and the two of them had somehow made their way up to Roman’s floor without alerting anyone else of their presence.
Roman had been woken by a furious hammering at his bedroom door at a little after four in the morning, and had to wade through a mess of papers and laundry to find that the two of them had knocked on every single door on his corridor, unable to remember which was his. He had not been popular with his dormmates the next day.
Their intervention had involved sitting on Roman’s bed and sharing the leftover pizza that had been on Roman’s desk for the last three days, and telling him to wash the dirty clothes all over his floor. Then they had tried to persuade him to accompany them to a bar to hook him up with somebody, and Roman had quickly concluded that the pair was somewhat drunk.
He had vehemently refused, and when Janus had eventually rolled onto his back, dark hair dangling off the edge of the bed and onto the sticky patch of carpet that Roman had spilled soda on three weeks ago, he practically whined that Roman was being very difficult when all they were doing was trying to help him.
“Trying to help me? You’ve disturbed the people I live with at fuck-o’clock in the morning! I have class tomorrow!” Roman was sat at his desk chair, trying very hard to ignore the stack of textbooks he was supposed to have read and hadn’t.
Remus rested a hand on Janus’ hip to stop him from rolling off the bed, and raised a lazy eyebrow at him. “Cut the bullshit, little bro. We all know you haven’t been to class in… How long, Jan?”
“Two months, three weeks, and four days,” Janus sing-songed.
“How the fuck do you know that?” It sounded about right, anyway, and Roman had a feeling that if he denied it this would just take even longer. He spun around in his chair and picked up a pen from his desk. “It’s my business if I don’t go to class.”
“Called my sister. Jannie takes all your classes, you know…” There was the sound of shifting fabric, and when Roman glanced back, Janus was sitting up and tucked under Remus’ arm again, looking very much as though Remus had just placed him there.
“You’re right, Ro. It’s not my business if you’re not going to class.” One of Remus’ hands trailed slowly up and down Janus’ arm, so casually Roman could almost believe that his brother didn’t realise he was doing it. “But it is my business that my little brother isn’t taking care of himself anymore. You haven’t answered my calls since before winter break. You obviously haven’t been eating healthily - this pizza tastes like you fished it out of the garbage, by the way, and I would know - and you look as though you haven’t seen the sunlight since last July.”
The assessment wasn’t quite fair. Roman might have been skipping classes, but it wasn’t as though he had just been lying in his room and wasting away! “I went to the gym last week. And I auditioned for the musical in March. I’m fine, Remus! Can I go to bed now?”
“No! We’re going to a club!”
Janus had nodded enthusiastically at Remus’ words, then rested his head on his partner’s shoulder as Roman shook his head slowly. “I don’t want to go to a club. I want to go to bed. I have class tomorrow.”
“Nope.” Remus’ hand rose to tangle absently in Janus’ hair. “We’re going to a club, and you’re gonna find some hottie to fuck all the yearning for Remy right out of you. Then you’ll feel much better!”
“You’re pulling my ha-”
“Fuck no. We’re not doing that.” Roman pressed his palms into his eyes, then stood up and jerked his door open. “Can you go now?”
“Give me one good reason why you getting laid is a bad thing right now, Ro, and we’ll leave.” Roman had gotten as far as opening his mouth before Remus interrupted. “See? You can’t. You need to move on, man. Clinging to Remy is clearly unh-”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“-ealthy, and- What?”
Maybe it was because it was four in the morning. Maybe it was because Roman hadn’t been sleeping well anyway, and Remus had managed to step on the last of his fraying nerves. Maybe it was just because he wished it was true.
“I have a boyfriend,” Roman repeated, and felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the obvious shock on Janus’ usually impassive face. “Three months. Met just after term started. It’s pretty serious, actually.”
“Bullshit.” Remus looked half impressed.
Now it was irritation that flickered through Roman. Was it really so unbelievable that he could have found somebody else? “It’s not.”
“You fucked yet?”
“Remus…” There was a warning note in Janus’ voice, and Remus sighed.
“None of my business. Got it. Do we get to meet him?”
“He’s shy.”
“Which is another way of saying he doesn’t exist.”
“Asshole. It’s another way of saying that it’s four in the fucking morning and he’s asleep. You’ll meet him at the wedding, anyway - I’m going to ask him to be my plus one when Patton sends out the RSVP date.” The words had been out of his mouth before he had had time to regret them, and Roman had spent the last eight months trying to sidestep questions about his non-existent boyfriend.
He had later found out that Remus and Janus hadn’t really come down to see him. They had gone to Los Angeles to celebrate their two year wedding anniversary and decided they might drop in while in the area. (Just because they had eloped rather than holding a big party, Janus had commented idly, didn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate it).
But now it was December, and Roman was partner-less and running out of excuses. His lie had gotten out of control, and he had ended up asking Patton and Virgil to include his partner in the guest numbers. He had invented dates they had been on for his mother when she had asked, and he insisted that his boyfriend was shy and had practically no internet presence anyway, so knowing his name wouldn’t help anybody.
He could just say that the two of them had broken up and go home alone, of course.
But that would mean disrupting the meticulous wedding seating plan Virgil and Patton had been making for months.
Besides, Roman was fairly certain that nobody in his family really believed in his mystery boyfriend, and failure to produce one after months of insisting that they would meet… Well, he didn’t want to open himself to that sort of ridicule.
Of course, it didn’t look as though he had much choice.
He hadn’t managed to make many friends at college.
In his first year, Roman had spent a lot of time trying to keep on top of his schoolwork and working toward the various theatre productions the school had put on; all of his free time he had spent planning dates for when he and Remy finally visited one another, or else video calling his boyfriend. There simply hadn’t been time to make many friends during that.
His second year… Well, Remus had been right. He had spent most of his time in his room, eating junk food, watching sappy romance films, and missing Remy.
So far, he had spent his third year trying to bring his grades back up to something more respectable… And missing Remy.
He knew it was pathetic. It had been almost a year and a half since they had broken up, and he still missed being able to call someone to talk about nothing at all at two in the morning, missed planning extravagant dates, missed the feel of hands in his hair and lips on his.
At least his floor was cleaner than it had been last year. And he had eaten slightly less fast food this semester than the previous one.
Roman’s phone chimed again. With a frustrated groan, he made his way over to his desk.
[Looking forward to seeing you on Monday!!! <3 <3 <3 !!!]
Pops 23:25
Patton.
[Me too, Padre! I’ll bring some of that fudge from the shop you love!]
Roman 23:26
[eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <33333333 Can you get some of the currents+salt? Vee loved it last time + I want to surprise him]
Pops 23:26
[Will do. Looking forward to seeing you too!]
Roman 23:27
Patton would probably be the most understanding if Roman decided to come clean about his lying - but Patton was the worst secret keeper Roman had ever met. He and Virgil had been dating for almost three years, and in that time the thin voice actor had managed to spill every single plot twist in every single show he had watched or acted in. Roman had no doubt that Virgil would know that he was bringing home fudge within the next hour. If he admitted to Patton that he had been lying about having a date for the wedding, Roman would get Patton’s kind - if confused - reassurances, and half an hour later he would get the mixture of mockery and horrible pity that would come with the rest of his family finding out that he still wasn’t over Remy.
Roman let his phone slip through his fingers and land on his desk once more. Three days, and then he’d have to come clean - until then, he could just avoid thinking about it. Collecting the overflowing basket from the corner of the room (he had been putting off doing laundry for a while now), Roman left his room and headed toward the building’s basement laundry room. Term had finished last week and it was almost midnight - he doubted anybody would be down there now. Most people had probably already gone home, or were making the most of the free time to go out rather than spend it doing chores.
The light was off in the basement when he got there, so Roman left it that way as he loaded his clothing into one of the machines.
Moving around in the dark was far more of a Virgil move than a Roman one, but he couldn’t help himself. There was something comforting about the-
“Sweet fucking Shakespeare!” Roman’s hand flew up to cover his eyes as light burst through the small room, quickly followed by the strong smell of coffee.
“Sorry! I was unaware that there would be anybody in here.” As Roman dropped his hand, blinking owlishly in the sudden light, the newcomer made his way over to the machine on the far side of the room from him. “Most people prefer not to fumble around in the dark.”
Remus or Remy would have made some comment about how fumbling around in the dark could be quite fun really. Roman just shrugged. “It’s been a long day.”
He had expected the other man to say something; instead, silence fell over the room, broken only by the sound of the powder tray being opened, filled, and closed again.
Roman didn’t mean to stare, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen the person in the room next to him only twice so far this term, and only knew his name because the mailroom was organised by room number rather than alphabetically, and the name Roman Prince was right next to Logan Ursa.
Logan looked more tired than he had on either of the other times Roman had seen him. There were deep bags under his eyes, the shadows almost deeper than Virgil’s had been at the height of his eyeliner experiments, and the black ponytail that hung halfway to his waist was missing, replaced with what could only be described as a thicket of tangled hair. It looked as though he had been outside even less than Roman had in the past few months: his skin was so pale it seemed to glow under the fluorescent laundry-room lights. There was a steaming mug and a thick book on the lid of the machine beside him, and Roman had the strong feeling that it wasn’t the first coffee Logan had had that evening.
The washing machine Logan had been loading began to rumble, and as the other student straightened up and picked up his book, Roman made himself duck back down to finish his own task.
He’d have to come back to collect his clothing later - Roman suddenly regretted deciding to get this done now, when it meant he would have to return at almost two in the morning, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now.
“Do you want me to leave the light on?” He was more trying to make conversation than anything else: Logan was perched on one of the machines in the corner, nose already buried in what Roman could now see was a heavy medical textbook.
“Obviously.”
Yeah, he probably should have guessed that.
-
Logan was still in the laundry room when Roman returned to collect his clothing two hours later. He was still sat on the same machine, although now he was speaking into his phone in what sounded like rapid Italian. (It definitely wasn’t Spanish: Roman was almost fluent in Spanish). (The languages were similar, but although he could guess at a few words, he had no idea what was going on). (Not that he was eavesdropping, of course). Logan’s hair was even messier than it had been before, and out of the corner of his eye Roman caught him jerking his free hand through it once or twice.
Roman pulled his now-warm and dry clothing from the machine and dumped it into his laundry basket, doing his best to ignore the way Logan was practically shouting behind him, but couldn’t stop himself from startling at the wordless, frustrated yell that came from the taller man a few minutes later. He was halfway to the door, but paused and glanced at Logan, who was stuffing his phone angrily into the oversized hoodie he was wearing.
“Everything okay over there?”
“Family stuff,” came the snappish response. Roman watched for a few seconds as Logan knelt in front of his own machine and began jerking clothing from it, folding pants as though he wished he were ripping them to pieces instead, then throwing several dark shirts over his shoulder and stalking over to one of the ironing stations.
“Pretty loud family stuff,” Roman commented, then wondered why he was bothering. It had been clear from his first meeting with Logan that the other student wasn’t there to make friends: Roman had been carrying a large cardboard box into his room the day he had moved in, and bumped into him in the hallway. Logan had looked him up and down, said something like, “Keep the volume down. I’m here to work,” and marched past him as though Roman were no more interesting than a hat stand.
Sure enough, Logan didn’t turn to face him, instead ironing a shirt in a manner that strongly hinted that he wanted to make it beg for mercy. “None of your business family stuff.”
“Are you-”
“None. Of your. Business.” This time, Logan actually did glance over his shoulder, and fixed Roman with a scowl that suggested that if he didn’t drop it, his face was going to be the next thing under the iron.
Roman left quickly. He had done his best to be friendly, and if Logan wasn’t interested, that was his problem. He didn’t seem like the sort of person Roman would really want to be friends with anyway.
Logan’s haggard expression lingered in his mind as he made his way back up to his dorm room and began stuffing his now-clean clothes into his wardrobe. He should probably start packing - his suitcase was sitting open and empty against one wall - but he had plenty of time.
Besides, he was exhausted.
Roman had changed into a pair of sweatpants and gotten into bed by the time he heard the door to the room next to his slam shut. Clearly, Logan was still annoyed by whatever ‘family stuff’ had had him first yelling into his phone and then taking his frustration out on his laundry and somebody trying to be friendly.
How long could Logan hold a grudge? Was he the kind of person who would calm down after a couple of hours of sleep, or would whatever he had been arguing about be hanging over him for the next week or so? That would make the winter break uncomfortable…
Or maybe he wasn’t going home. He had looked pretty invested in the textbook he had been studying earlier, despite it being almost midnight and no longer termtime. Maybe Logan was going to stay in the dorms over the winter break and use the hours without lectures for private study.
That sounded like a lonely way to spend the next three weeks.
The idea struck Roman suddenly, and he sat bolt upright in bed, the kind of elation that only comes with golden inspiration coursing through him. He would persuade Logan to come back home with him for the holidays! If Janus took it to mind to ask Janine about him, she’d be able to verify that Logan didn’t socialise much; all he would have to do would be show up briefly for the wedding, and he could spend the remainder of the holiday studying all he wanted, away from ‘family stuff’!
He would ask Logan the following morning, and when he agreed, Roman would book the plane tickets home - he’d pay, of course. Or rather, he’d use the money his mother had sent him so that he could bring his fictional boyfriend home. Either way, Logan wouldn’t have to spend any money himself!
Laying back down, Roman pulled his thin blanket back up to his neck and rolled onto his side, satisfaction warming him more thoroughly than any hot drink could.
This was the best idea he’d ever had.
-
“That is the worst idea I have ever heard.” Logan glanced into the hallway over Roman’s shoulder as though expecting an audience for a practical joke. “I cannot believe you have wasted my time listening to you.”
“Is… That a maybe?” Roman tilted his head and gave Logan his best puppy eyes.
Alas, Logan’s heart must have been made of stone. “No.” He made to slam the door.
Well, Roman couldn’t have that. It had been difficult enough to get Logan to even open the door in the first place, and harder still to get him to listen beyond the initial “I need you to do me a huge favour, okay, but it works out for you too.” In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have led with that. But then he had explained, and for some reason Logan was still trying to close the door on him.
“Ow!”
“That was entirely your fault.”
“You just slammed the door on my foot!”
“You did put your foot there after I had begun closing the door. My point stands.”
Technically, Logan was correct, but Roman wasn’t there to quibble over technicalities. “You got the part where I’d pay for your flights, right? All you have to do is show up for one day in something resembling formalwear, and in return you get rent free accommodation and food all holiday! Plus company!”
“I have too much to do to pretend to be your boyfriend for three weeks for no reason. Find somebody else.” Logan made to close the door again, and this time Roman caught it with his hand.
“There is nobody else!” Roman was aware that he was beginning to sound desperate. “You’re like, the only person I know!”
“That sounds like your personal problem, not mine.” Several strands of hair had fallen from the impressive tangle around Logan’s ears and into his face, and he blew them out of the way. His breath smelled like coffee - bitter coffee. Roman wrinkled his nose. “Let go of my door.”
“Come on, Logan! What else are you going to be doing this holiday?”
“Studying! I have exams to pass!”
“You can study at my place. You won’t have to pay holiday rent there!”
“I won’t have to pay holiday rent if I go to my mom’s place, either! Let go of my door!”
Roman finally pulled his aching foot out of the way, but didn’t remove his hand from the wood. “You don’t want to go back to your mom’s place, though, do you? The phonecall -”
The glare that Logan sent him could have frozen the insides of a volcano, and his voice was suddenly cold enough to make Roman shiver. “Good day, Roman.” This time, Roman jerked his hand out of the way, and the door snapped shut in his face.
Shit. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to use Logan’s ‘family stuff’ against him. He made a note of that for future reference, then hammered against the door again.
“Please, Logan!”
Silence.
“I’ll be forever in your debt!”
More silence. Maybe Logan would prefer something a little more extravagant?
“I’ll sing of your virtues from the rooftop every night for the rest of the year!”
Nothing.
Okay, maybe that had been a little much. Logan had made it clear that he was there to work and didn’t want to be disturbed in his caffeine fueled study crusades, so something excessive was possibly the wrong way to persuade him to do this.
Oh-
“I’ll pay for your coffee for the rest of the year?”
Roman held his breath and waited.
And waited.
Just when he thought that he had been wrong and that Logan really wasn’t going to be persuaded, the door opened the tiniest of amounts. Logan was still frowning at him, but some of the ice was gone from his expression.
“That’s your dealbreaker? Coffee?”
“I drink a lot of coffee.” A slight deepening in the crease between Logan’s eyes told Roman not to push the subject. “You need a date to a wedding. In return, you pay for my flight there and back, provide accommodation for the duration of the winter vacation, and keep me supplied with coffee for the rest of the year.”
“Well, a wedding, the reception, any pre-wedding parties, and keeping up the act while we’re around other people,” Roman corrected, counting on his fingers. From the irritated twitch of Logan’s left eye, he got the feeling that he hadn’t mentioned the reception or the potential stag night in his initial pitch.
“Blue Moon or Red Planet.”
“What?”
“The coffee. I like Blue Moon or Red Planet coffee. They’re more expensive, so I don’t expect them every time - maybe a ratio of three regular jars to one nice jar.”
Roman blinked. “Uh… Okay.”
Logan nodded once. More hair fell over his eyes. “I’ll draw up a schedule and provide you with estimated projections of my coffee habits for the rest of the year so you can budget accordingly. When do we leave?”
“Um… Monday.” Still reeling from Logan’s sudden and complete 180, Roman cast around for something to say, but the long haired man got there first.
“Monday. That gives us approximately two and a half days to draw boundaries and fabricate enough pictures and stories to give our deceit credibility.” Logan closed his eyes, and Roman realised that he was staring again. He hadn’t expected the other to take this in stride so quickly. “Given that I have work to finish today and you will likely need several hours on Sunday evening to pack… Have you told your family how long we have been romantically involved?”
“Uh, since January. But I told them you were shy, so we don’t have to have any pictures or anything - we can say that all our dates were just pizza and Netflix, and…” He tailed off at the incredulous look on Logan’s face. “What?”
“You expect them to believe that we have been dating for eleven months and you haven’t taken a single photo? Roman, I have listened to you belting the lyrics of more break-up songs than I care to count.” Roman shrugged, and Logan rolled his eyes. “You are quite clearly a romantic. Had we really been dating, the number of pictures you would have taken on whatever extravagance you planned for our six-month anniversary alone would be infinitesimal.”
He had a point.
Roman had already stretched his family’s belief in him to breaking point (and probably well past it) by refusing to share even the smallest thing about his ‘boyfriend’ over the past eleven months; if he didn’t get home on Monday with at least a couple of dozen photos to share, their charade would be over before it could ever really begin. “Right. You’re right. We’ll need to spend the weekend planning, doing a photoshoot - it’ll be fun!”
“You,” Logan started, already retreating, “obviously have a different definition of that word than I do. Eight thirty tomorrow morning, The Roost. Bring a notepad, your phone, and a couple of changes of clothing suitable for various weather conditions.”
“Eight thirty? A prince needs his beauty-”
“Eight thirty. We are going to do this properly.”
Roman’s phone was in his hand barely seconds after Logan’s door had closed (albeit more gently than before).
Groupchat: Princes and Co.
[Can’t wait for you to meet logan!]
Roman 09:58
[a name!!!!!!!!!!]
Trash Rat 09:59
[we have a name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Trash Rat 09:59
[such a nice name! can’t wait either, ro!]
Pops 10:01
[About time! I’ve been stalling on the place settings for weeks waiting for this name]
Emo Nightmare 10:02
[Was about to fly out to LA to strangle it out of you]
Emo Nightmare 10:04
[he was. i had to physically restrain him from doing so yesterday]
Padre 10:04
[bet u both enjoyed that ;);););););)]
Trash Rat 10:04
Several people are typing…
[Suck a dick, Remus]
Emo Nightmare 10:05
[we did, actually]
Pops 10:05
[would but janjans at work :((]
Trash Rat 10:06
[Didn’t want to know, didn’t need to know.]
Roman 10:06
[Pat!]
Emo Nightmare 10:06
[Logan Ursa??? 4th yr medic??? Coffee addict???]
Snake Eyes 10:06
Roman stared at his phone for a second. That was faster than he had expected.
[u knew????? jan u held out on me??? the luv of ur greyspec life???]
Trash Rat 10:07
[You told Janus?! I’m your brother! He’s not even related to you!]
Emo Nightmare 10:07
[No I didn’t tell Janus!]
Roman 10:07
[I’m omniscient.]
Snake Eyes 10:08
[Plus I just asked Jannie for a list of all the Logans you could have associated with.]
Snake Eyes 10:09
[You and your sister scare me]
Roman 10:11
[He has surprisingly little internet presence.]
Snake Eyes 10:11
[Told you. He’s shy]
Roman 10:12
Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Roman returned to his room and picked up his laptop, this time to actually book the tickets he was supposed to have booked weeks ago. He had no doubt that they would arrive on Monday to discover that his family had already unearthed everything there was to know about his fake boyfriend - should he break that news to Logan before or after they were on the plane? Making the man paranoid might make their weekend photoshoot a lot more difficult.
Their photoshoot! If Logan was really on board, Roman would have to make this as easy as possible for him - and the performance of a lifetime for himself. Given that he was expected to bring a notebook to their meeting tomorrow, they were going to have to do a lot of brainstorming, so he might as well start coming up with ideas now. He already had a few as he grabbed a notepad from the mess on the floor and started hunting for a pencil.
No matter what his fake date said, this weekend was going to be a lot of fun.
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I promised an essay and i WILL write it even if it's 9am and I'm at work <3 and now that I can finally send pictures on asks, Mimi pls consider putting this on your angst from now on thank you:
OK now about chapter 9 ^^ haha ^^
i DIDNT KNOW YOU CAN PUT ON KEEP READING TAB ON ASKS
first of all i didn't realize you mentioned me in your A/N bc I was too caught up on preparing myself to be hurt <3 second, goSH the thing this chapter makes me feel 🥲🥲 when I told you I'd need at least three business days to recover I mean it spiritually; at least I don't feel like bashing my head against the wall because I understand where everyone's coming from.
Usually reading series like this I end up annoyed most of the time because they often use miscommunication as nothing but plot device--no background whatsoever. But this? Jin & OC both have their own internal conflicts and they're both complicated in their own way. The ghosts of their pasts hunt them in ways that anyone would understand that they hurt and they hurt bad.
Unfortunately, I relate way too much with OC and her overanalyzing ways 🥲 but of all things, there's one that struck me the most.
“Okay, not that I defend the lying because I’m still gonna give him shit for it,” Jungkook replies, “but he’s clearly way better than those fuckers. And fine, even if it’s not Jin, or the heck, it can even be Joon but what I’m also trying to say is that ___, you deserve love and yeah, it may hurt a bit but the right one won’t hurt all the time. I just hope you won’t have your wall up forever and actually see that some things and people are worth getting over your fears for.”
I didn't expect to be personally attacked like this Mimi 😭😭 but what he said rings something within me that i didn't expect to. I think it's important to note that, yeah, love is going to hurt one way or another. If you're inclined to romantic relationships, it's never going to be filled with happiness and happiness only. It's going to hurt and perhaps it's worth the pain if it helps your relationship grow. I'm not glorifying fights and emotional distress, but... yeah, it may hurt sometime but until when will you distance yourself from the chance of much more happiness in return?
(and also, Jungkook I will baby you if you want)
Next, WHAT THE HELL
YOU SAID YOU WILL HURT ME AND YOURE REALLY KEEPING YOUR WORDS HUH? YOU KEEP ME ON MY FEET HUH
the way my heart DROPPED?????? like i literally recommended the song so i KNEW. i KNEW WHATS COMING. but was i hurt any less? No <3 i kinda expected... it but i never thought he'd jump right into the d word WTF KIM SEOKJIN?? I KNOW YOU WANT TO BE UNDERSTANDING BUT?????????? gosh rereading their goodbyes after knowing what's coming after hurts in its most pure sense.
one sentence resonates with me for some reason:
“Could you, uh, could you let me know when you land?”
will OC still call him?? will she pretend like she hasn't seen the letter? how will she face joon after that??? it's kinda cruel, tbh, giving that letter knowing it'll throw her off and mess up her mind when she's about to talk the talk. but perhaps if he believes OC doesnt feel that way, Jin probably thinks it'll feel liberating for her. WHICH DOESNT MAKE IT BETTER FOR ME.
ok i rambled long enough alrd ciao
I’m so touched you went off anon for me 🥹🥹 did u buy the tickets to Manila yet?? Hahahaa just kidding, I know where you’re headed to 😉 but plssss u make me laugh and u make me happy! I love hearing your thoughts and picking out the things that stuck with you: It's going to hurt and perhaps it's worth the pain if it helps your relationship grow. - this whole thought of love hurting but not always is true; it’s how we learn; I think that’s what separates healthy relationships from toxic ones.
Also, asking OC to tell him when he lands ajdjajzjaja I 😢 in that part, too. They have so much baggage and it’s all coming to a head (as we’ll see more later on) and we just want them to run to each other and finally be together 😩 but yes, lots of things happening here. I’m just so happy you dropped by and not as anon this time ☺️☺️🥰
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Im sorry professor
Requested: Hi can I request a dom teacher kevin moon fic? Also love your work!
Genre: smut
Pairing: prof!kevin moon x fem!student reader
Summary: you accidentally fell asleep in your art class....your teacher wasn’t happy.
Warnings: unprotected sex( be safe!!), dom!professor kevin and sub!student reader(student is 18), um paint play?? Rough sex, idek what else
A/n: should i make a fluff part two orrr✨ also not proofread so im sorry for mistakes
You woke up startled nearly falling off of your chair after hearing a loud bang. You had a night art class but you must’ve fallen asleep. Last night you had a long essay that was due and thanks to your procrastination you barely got it done on time.
With your heart beating fast you spun around to see that your professor had slammed the door to his classroom shut locking it in the process. Your professer was a young man named kevin moon and he was the only reason so many people took art this year. However you were in here because you like art.
“Miss y/n, would you mind telling me what we went over in class today?” He questioned as he slowly walked over to where u were sitting. “Im so sorry professor i stayed up late last night and I must’ve fallen asleep”you stated while standing up and gethering your supplies laying around the table. He cut you off by saying “no, i asked you to tell me what we went over. I didn’t ask for some lame excuse”
By the tone he was using you could guess he was angry since we were learning new material today. You turned your head to look at him as he stopped right in front of your desk. “Im sorry im not sure of what we learned today professor but i can teach myself to save you the trouble if you would like to tell me what we went over? It wont happen again.” You said hoping he would at least tell you the basics.
“Y/n you missed a whole lesson. Today we learned on how to paint ones body. Naked. Instead of telling you though i would say it is easier to show you. Just to make sure you really understand.” He stated with a teasing tone while coming around the table to stand beside you. He grabbed your arm and pushed you lightly against the desk. Trapping you between his hips and the desk, pushing his bulge against you.
“Professor i dont think-“ you started but he covered your mouth and put his lips to your ear “its kevin” his whisperd which gave you chills throughout your spine. “Kevin. I dont think we should be doing this your the teacher and i-“
“Shhh baby your only a few years younger than me. Tell me you dont want this and i will stop.” He said while rubbing his hands down your sides. You can’t deny that you have imagined yourself in the scenario more times than you would like to admit. He IS really hot. “I want this” you said breathlessly.
“Mmm i knew it” he said as he started to pull your shirt off of you. “I should punish you for being disobedient shouldn’t I?” He then turned you around and pushed your head down to the table, holding your hands behind your back with one of his. He then unclasped your bra while kissing your shoulder. “Yes i deserve to be punished” You replied.
He lifted up your skirt to see your lace panties already soaked. “Damn y/n you’re already so wet for me. This is whats going to happen. Im going to fuck you raw and use your tight little pussy to get myself off. You will not cum unless i decide i want you too. Got it?” He ended with a harsh spank to your ass.
“But thats not fair!! I should be able to-“ he ended your rant by pulling you up by your neck, pressing your back to his naked chest. ‘When did he get undressed??’ You thought. “ do not fucking question me brat. This is a punishment and you will take what i give you.” Kevin then started to rub his tip against your throbbing pussy. Keeping you up by your neck, he thrusted his whole length into you, causing you to scream.
“Your lucky school has ended early. Im going to make your throat sore from screaming my name.” He then started to pound rapidly into your tight pussy which made your knees buckle as you screamed some more. He wrapped the other hand around your waist to make sure you stayed put. It hurt but felt so good at the same time. You loved the way he was manhandling you.
“Your pussy is so tight for me baby. Mmm have you never been stretched this far huh?” He questioned. “N- no your thick cock is stretching me out so much, i love it” you mumbled while trying to hold back your tears. “Thats right baby, now let me demonstrate what we went over in class hmm?” He stopped his thrusting and stilled deep inside of you making you sigh loudly. He leaned over you to reach the paintbrush you had yet to put away. He dipped it into the red glittery paint that was set up as well.
“Lean down on the desk” kevin demanded you. As soon as you layed your stomach flat on the table, he put one hand besides your head to hold himself up. Not even a second later you felt a cold substance coat the skin on your lower back, making you gasp and moan loudly. He started to slowly thrust inside of you again as he used you as a canvas.
“Kevin oh my god please I’ve been so good. I really need to cum i wont be able to hold it” you whined as you couldn’t help but push your hips back onto his now harder thrusts.
“Fucking hold it brat. I said i would let you cum if i felt like it.” He gritted his teeth as he put the brush down and grabbed both sides of you hips, now slamming into you so hard that you couldn’t breathe properly. He was so deep inside of you, you thought you could feel him in your stomach.
“Shit im cumming baby” he growled as you desperately clenched around him, trying not to release. He quickly pulled out of you and jerked his dick until he was cumming all over your back, where he had painted not long before. He moaned loudly as he came while you whined because you no longer had him inside of you.
You started sobbing because it hurt so bad, you needed to cum. You started thrashing your hips around until kevin stopped you. “Sh sh its okay baby ill make you cum now alright?” He said softly while rubbing your hips.
“You’re so mean kevin it hurts so bad” you said still crying. He turned you around gently and placed you on top of the table. “ i know i know. Can you handle my dick or do you want me to eat you out baby?” He asked while still rubbing soothing circles into your hips. “I want your dick please.” You contined as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you. His sweet scent calmed you down as he inserted himself again, thrusting slowly a few times before gaining speed to make you cum fast. He didn’t want to go too hard since he knew you were in pain. He removed one hand from your hip and lightly began to rub figure eights on your wet clit.
This geture made you cum with a scream locking his dick inside of you with your tight clenches. As you were coming down from your high he placed light kisses along your neck and pulled out of you making you wince. He held you tightly as he started a slow make out session that last for a few minutes. “ are you alright?” He asked after pulling away. He wanted you to learn your lesson but he didnt want to hurt you in the process.
“Yes im okay kevin thank you” you replied with a reassuring smile. “You know” he said shyly “ you should come back to my place y/n, that way i can run you a nice bath and we can talk about us okay?” He finished and bit his lip out of nervousness.
“I would love to do that, lets try not to get caught walking out of here though... i look like a hot mess” you said, making you both laugh as he started to pack everything and get you guys dressed to leave to his house.
#the boyz#kevin#kevin moon#kevin smut#kevin moon smut#tbz#tbz x reader#tbz kevin#tbz fluff#tbz drabbles#the boyz scenarios#the boyz smut#the boyz fluff#the boyz kevin#kevin fluff#kevin moon fluff#the boyz kevin smut#tbz kevin smut#the boyz x reader#kpop fluff#kpop x reader#kpop smut#kpop scenarios
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Can u do a Tom Holland x black model / actress reader where there in ffh together maybe she Palau’s Gwen Stacy and they were fwb while the press tour was happening then they get into a heated argument... then they see each to her at the premiere and they end up sleeping together later that night in maybe a Limo and getting caught by maybe zendaya or Jacob 💀💀💀  
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY- IM PRETTY TIRED, I DRUNK MILLIONS OF COFFEE TO DO A ESSAY I DIDNT EVEN FINISH ALL NIGHT LMAO, THATS FOR DISTRACTING ME, I NEEDED IT!
Warnings: long smut, arugeing, getting caught, basically it! Idk what else, probably terrible smut btw
T.H| premier or how ever you spell it
“This is so boring” “why? Because you aren’t meeting Batista?” “Oh I’m meeting Batista Thomas” he only laughed at you, it was the press tour today, everyone fancy and shit.
You and Tom have been friends for a long time, friends with benefits for a short one, you’ve only fucked a few times..... totally, just in the two hotels, the dressing room, on the couch, on the back of the couch, on the front door, the wall- anyways. But you’ve both always had a bond.
You both were making it to your hotel, in his car, he had his hand on your thigh, taking it higher and higher until he cupped you, you turned to him while he bit his lip still looking at the road, you pushed his hand down as he looked at you confused.
“Wow you look” “amazing” Tom finished your assistants words, triko (tree co) looking back him and nodding in agreement, your hair in a natural kinky Afro and a poofy dress, two layers, and off the shoulders, the color was yellow and it radiated off your skin, matching your dark colored acrylics (basically Rihanna’s dress but yellow, let’s act like it was invented yet) “Thanks” you say, smiling at yourself. “Well I have to go take care of something, uh your hair shouldn’t dry out so you should be fine” triko said, walking out.
“I-uh hi” he stuttered, coming up behind you as you turned to him. “What Thomas” you ask. “I was thinking about you-“ “so you just wanna fuck huh?” You cross your arms over your chest raising your eyebrows at him.
“I don’t just want to fuck, I want to talk to you, while we fuck” he smiles, thinking he is funny. “I’m not doing this anymore” you push past him, sitting on your vanity chair. “What are you talking about?” He asked, turning to you. “I’m not sleeping with you” you look at yourself in the mirror, fixing your makeup. “What did I do?!” He almost yelled.
“You only want to sleep with me! We don’t even talk any fucking more Thomas! You cup my vagina out of the blue, you come to my house almost every night with a bottle of wine, it’s like I’m a fucking booty call” you slammed your brush down, looking at him through the mirror.
“Hey you aren’t a booty call! What the fuck is up with you!” He yelled, his lips in a thin line. “Tell me the last time we actually had a sit down conversation Thomas” you said, he stops in his tracks, trying not to look away. “In the car-“ “in the car?! You mean the one you cupped me in! In the same day! Like I’m some sex toy and-“ “you know what fuck you, you can’t make random decisions like you didn’t like it!” You stood up, bit your lip sure it would bleed, walking up to him. “You right, i did like it, until what it did to you” you take your pointer finger, pressing it on his forehead and pushed it back. “And to me” you put your finger to your chest “and to us” you pointed and both of you. “Find some hooker on the street Thomas, or even better! Zen fucking daya, I’m not fucking wit chu, and you better leave my room or i swear-“ “swear what?” He asked, crossing his arms and looking at you. “Or I swear I will call you out for the user you are, think about it with me ‘Thomas the slut’ ‘can’t keep his hands off of y/n’ ‘using her for a fuck?’ ‘Isn’t using his brain’, I’ll ruin you and anything you’ve worked for, try me. And it doesn’t only have to be about me, I’ll just dig up more dirt” “now that’s childish y/n” “not when my feelings are hurt! Your fucking clueless man, I- fuck you!” You stormed out of the room, leaving Thomas there stranded trying to understand what even happened at that moment. “Fuck” he whispered, looking around and noticing he basically couldn’t slam anything because it is all yours.
“Hey y/n!” Jacob smiled, you smiled back at him “hey Jacob” “how are you” “eh things could be better” you shrugged. “Wanna talk about it?” He asked, really worried. Both of you making your way to the limo “not really if I’m being honest, I know I don’t wanna be alone though so do you want to take pictures with me?” You questioned looking at him, he only nodded.
Each of your arms wrapped around each other’s, smiling at the camera. Giggling as Jacob told you stupid jokes.
On the other hand thomas was taking pictures with zendaya, his hand around her waist and hers around his shoulders. “Hey can we do questions?” An interviewer asked, Tom nodding and coming forward.
Thomas answered a few questions and shared a few laughs until the question came up “so Gwen Stacy, you said you’ve always wanted a black cat but you have a Gwen Stacy, how does it feel?” “I feel like peter is a very lucky man” he laughed “but I am to, I’m lucky enough to work with y/n how by the way is sooo” he opened is hands as if somethings is in between spacing them “talented, I’m glad we have her and Gwen Stacy here, I mean at least we don’t have anyone bad right?” He laughed again, the interviewer laughing with him.
“I’ve always had the most biggest crush on Spider-Man, it’s honestly my brothers fault because he forced me to watch it” you laughed “what’s your favorite suit of his?” “Probably venom, he looked really cool but his attitude wasn’t it” you giggled. “Did i mention how beautiful you are, I just felt like I had to say it or else I’d regret it later” “ooo are you hitting on me?” You grinned, placing your hand on your collar bone. He nervously laughed “I mean, I guess so” “oo imma get you fired” you teased making him laugh, did I mention Tom was basically right next to you both?
His jaw clenched many times, trying not to glance over, his mind roaming into violent things, until he had it, he’d just talk to you or something, oh well.
“I forgot my bracelet, I’ll be right back” you waved at tony as he only nodded “I’ll be right here waiting for you” he smiled. You walked off the the same limo, staying there for whatever reason you asked the driver to unlock the car, instead he just gave you to whole keys. You went to the limo, unlocking it and getting in. You digged in the side of the seat, trying to find it until you heard the door open and close again, you screamed and tried to stand for some odd reason but hit your head, you groaned and sat down rubbing over the spot.
You looked over to find Thomas, you both made eye contact and you groaned again turning away from him “okay okay look! We are going to talk, to fucking talk!” He said, you look at him and rolled your eyes, trying to open the door until it was locked, you looked at Thomas and he dangled the keys smiling at you. Then you groaned, once again. “You aren’t going anywhere until we talk about this” he said. “I’m not talking about shit” “well you aren’t leaving” “I got hot spot” you pulled out your phone, only to get it snatched, you had your Apple Watch on, “don’t even” “oh I’m going to” “I don’t wanna break it” “fine then, let’s talk” you gave up, sitting up straight, taking off the watch and throwing it at his head.
“Okay- whatever, anyways talk” “you wanted to talk! Not me!” “Alright then! Can you tell me what hurt your feelings?” “I be-“ “spit it out, stop being hard headed for fucks sake” you sighed, crossing your arms. “What hurt my feelings is that you- i- we don’t talk anymore all we do is just sleep around, I miss you Thomas, not your dïck, I miss you, I miss the talks over tea and the you coming to my modeling. If you want to have sex I get it but why almost every other week? I feel like you collect all of your shit and use sex to get out of it, I don’t want to be the one you do that to” “shit y/n, I don’t want you to feel that way, I don’t do that nor feel that way- now that I’m noticing it I am doing something wrong to make you feel that way” he frowned, coming closer to you and sitting next to you, taking your hand. “I can make you feel better I promise, I’ll do anything you want me to do” he kissed your hand, you looking at him and your hand. He trails up to your neck, not going to your sweet spot but everywhere else then it, you let out small hisses and shuddered. “I-“ you cut yourself off by a moan, his hands finding its way to your thigh “I won’t cup you if you don’t like it, I’ll do things for you, I really don’t want you to feel that way” he whispered, rubbing your thighs and breathing on your neck and your jaw, still moaning from the hand on your thigh. “You can be my pillow princess, you won’t have to do anything because I will, I’ll make you happy” “promise?” “Yeah i do, let me pleasure you, please” he then looked at you, lips so close you could almost feel them on yours, eye contact, so deep making it feel like your exchanging souls, the lust and love in both of your eyes, just now exposing you have feelings for each other.
His hand on you thigh raising to your underwear, pulling them down as he gave a kiss to you. “Can we take this off?” He asked, his other hand coming up to your chest, rubbing over each of your breasts and you whimper and nod.
He smiles, knowing your dying by his touch, all he had to do really his make sure he is your bitch at first, but this time he really wanted to have sex, not a fwb sex, there is a difference.
Your back lifts as he finished to take down your lacy white underwear, soaked. “Do I make you like this?” He asked, holding them up wanting you to look at them and you only nodded at him. “Look at it princess, look at the things I do to you, how wet you get when I touch you, you were probably wet the minute I even came close to you, yeah darling?” He bit his lip, taking your underwear and stuffing it in his back pocket. “Open up” he tasks and you follow, opening up your legs revealing your sweet angel smell. “I can smell you, it’s fucking perfect” he murmured, wrapping his hand around your back and unzipping the dress, pulling it down until your breasts were on display. “I wish I could take the whole thing off, but I don’t want us to get caught” he smiled, wetting his thumb with his tongue and rubbing over your nipple, he maintains eye contact with you, feeling your chest deeper as you breath in and out.
You could feel your clit wanting stimulation, slowly reaching your hand down you softly rub over pearl, letting out whimpers as Tom watched. “Touching yourself darling?” He lifted the dress, revealing you touching yourself, his hand came off your nipple and just watched you pleasure yourself, “mm” you bit your lip, your eyes getting slightly clouded. “Faster, for me” he said, now getting on his knees, standing infront of your womanhood, you start to speed up, Tom pushing your legs open more. “Buck your hips down” he ordered, you followed, a moan escaping your lips as Tom spit on you. “Good girl” he purred, kissing your calf’s, you bit your lip to contain the moans, “stop what you doing” he said, making you stop your tracks, he took your hand and suck the wetness off, smiling up at you and coming in between your legs, kissing your clit. “I want you to watch me princess, lift up that dress” you lifted up the poofs, meeting his eyes and he smiled “ready?” “Ready” you nodded. He took a strip of you, your folds open from your legs, your back arched, holding in to your knees, he kitty licked your pearl, you whining as you held tighter hearing the sounds as everything else was silent, he then harshly sucked you, “ah! Fuck tommy” you bit your lip humming, trying to open them more. His tongue trailed down to your slit and entered, fucking you with it, the texture of his tongue rubbing against your walls, feeling so good, he brings up his fingers, taking his tongue out and replacing it with his fingers, so wet and warm, easy to slip in. “Mmm” he pressed on your clit with his tongue, harsh circles and quick sucks, shaking his head side to side your breathing became heavier, him fucking you faster and your hand going down, running your fingers through his hair, tugging as he moaned in you, “mm!” You moaned louder, his name spilling out your mouth as you released. He lapped up some of your come, wanting to leave the rest.
He left your heat, on his knees still he unbuckled his pants “did you know you taste so good?” He asked, pulling himself out, thick and a bit over circumcised, precum on his head, “please fuck me” you whined, one organism not enough. “I hear ya” his knees in between your legs, he pumped himself before placing it in you, not wasting time. “Fuck” he whispered, bottoming himself in you and pulling out, just to go inside again. His hand came behind the head of the seat, fucking himself deeper and snapping his hips “Tom!” “Yes baby?” “Mmm” “that’s what i like to hear” he smiled, mostly to himself, looking at your dazed state, your eyes filled with so many things. After getting comfy he started to speed up, your body rocking with his, you grab his arms, digging in his skin as he hissed and fucked you harder making you let out a harsh moan. “Like that?” He asked, getting close to your spot. “Fuck tommy yes, I love it- ah!” He hit your spot, noticing the differences you made he continued fucking that spot, taking both hands and putting them behind the head of the seat he slammed into you, harder, faster, fuck it’s everything you want, everything you need, the skin slapping on skin, him hitting your spot and looking at you like a goddess, he moaned as you clenched so close, so so close.
Until the door opened “what the fuck-“ zendaya said, you quickly covered your breasts, looking over and seeing her eyes wide, Jacob behind her just starring at both of you, Tom kinda pissed because he was just there. “So uhm, I’m kinda hungry but I guess I’ll just take like a Uber or something” Jacob cleared his throat, couldn’t see this any longer. “Can’t we just drive the limo and leave them back here?” Zendaya distantly asked, closing the door. “I thought you locked it!” You whipped your head at Thomas. “The keys are in my front pocket! I’m guessing you accidentally pressed the button with your thigh!” He whispered. “Me!?” “Yes you” “Thomas get up” “can you just ride me because I really want to cum right now” you sighed as you nodded, him flipping both of you over. You rode him until both of you came, pressing kisses on your neck the car started moving. “What is happening?” “WERE GOING TO BURGER KING BITCHES!” Zendaya let out ‘whoos’ and Jacob laughed. “How long were we out here?” “For a while” Tom nodded, a bump causing both of you to moan, you get off of him and grab baby wipes to clean both of you up, don’t worry there’s a window separator, they can’t see you.
“You don’t get your panties back, there mine now” he smiled at you while you tried to fix your hair and your makeup. “Here’s some fabreeze! Might want to open the window while your at it” Jacob opened the window, throwing fabreeze in the back and Tom opened the window, letting the sex air out as both of you were dazed kinda, breath still heavy.
#tom holland x reader#tom holland#tom holland fanfic#tom holland x black!reader#Huns asks#tom holland fic#tom holland imagine#tom holland smut#tom holland au#JBwrites
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