#the way she beats herself up for not being able to do more (EVEN THO SHE DID THE BEST ANYONE COULD) and just . aurrvghh it breaks my heartt

[nulltune]

@keiseiensei replied: ‎kyq vc stop that. or Else

the cant of her head is meant to convey confusion, ‎the vague wording of a threat seemed to barely register ‎ / ‎ didn't matter to her ‎ — ‎ who instead, ‎was mulling over what could've brought on this reaction from the other. ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“ ‎ ‎did i... ‎do something wrong ? ‎ ‎”

though a bit more quiet, ‎tone is level as she spoke, ‎as if that was only natural.

[jsluvtzu]

who’s protecting who?

park jihyo x fem!reader

summary: in the midst of attempting to keep jihyo from getting hurt, you ultimately forget about yourself

cw: none, men dni

wc: 5k

a/n: first fic in a while hooray!! my friends and i beat the pickleball pandemic and caught the volleyball virus instead, so enjoy this fluffy vb themed fic :p (this might be my longest one yet)

as you finished ringing up the last customer of the usual lunch rush, you felt your phone buzz in your back pocket. hurriedly assuring the customer that their order would be out soon and excusing yourself to the back, you asked your coworker to take over the counter for a bit while you took a small break from standing for so long.

pulling your phone out of your pocket and into your hand, you saw a text message flash across your screen, slightly blocking the lockscreen picture you had of your girlfriend kissing your cheek.

jihyo 🩷

y/nnn i think i wanna try volleyball and learn how to be as good as u :pp

smiling as your eyes flickered between reading her text and reminiscing on the exact moment the photo on your phone was taken, you tapped on the message and replied.

okay love i"ll teach u lol

knowing jihyo had a busy schedule consisting of both work and her 12 different hobbies, you didn't want her to overwhelm herself by taking on yet another one. nonetheless, you were excited to have her join you in something that you've always imagined the two of you doing together.

u sure ur not too busy tho?

it'd been about 2 years since you first picked up the sport as a pastime with a couple friends. eventually it turned into friendly tournaments on the weekends at the local community court with other groups, which then turned into trying out for professional leagues and miraculously making it into one.

jihyo 🩷

i can always make time silly

unfortunately, your break time was now quickly coming to an end, so you rushed to type out a response and carelessly shoved your phone back into your pocket.

we can go after i get off work then :) wear something u can freely move in and put on ur most comfortable shoes. i love u see u soon ml

speedrunning through the last few hours of your shift was excruciating when all you could think about was finally being able to show the girl you loved most how to play the sport you loved most. the anticipation of coaching her into becoming a better player than you made it impossible for you to focus on making a drink as simple as an iced latte.

"oh shit-" you whispered to yourself, realizing that you'd almost overfilled the cup with the caffeinated liquid.

as you clocked out and drove home, you couldn't stop yourself from mindlessly humming and calmly dancing to the music you had playing in your car. your coworkers even stopped to ask you, "what's got you in such a good mood?" multiple times.

and to no surprise, jihyo was already packed and ready to go the minute you opened the door to your shared apartment. the oversized backpack on her shoulders was filled to the brim with snacks and water for the active evening ahead. her sporty outfit was exactly what you'd imagined your girlfriend would wear. a slightly loose fitting muscle tee, athletic leggings, and her new favorite pair of running shoes on her feet to top it all off.

you couldn't help but melt at her eagerness as you took your shoes off and set your keys down onto the table by your shoe rack.

"hi baby," you said amusedly, "you're well prepared i see."

she beamed at you with her doe eyes and hummed in agreement as she skipped towards you to greet you with a kiss. her warm lips made contact with yours in a desperate manner, almost a silent message to relay just how much she'd missed you since you left for work early in the morning. you pulled away just enough to where your lips barely grazed each other, "let me change first and then we can be on our way, okay?" you pecked her lips again and once more to her cheek as you walked away to your shared bedroom to free yourself of your coffee reeking clothes. jihyo quickly set her backpack down onto the couch and followed behind you shortly.

you changed into your team's white long sleeved compression jersey with your custom number on the back; a bright pink "21" for jihyo, of course. soon after, you slid into your spandex shorts and turned your head to the side to see jihyo leaning up against the wall next to you. the sunlight shining through the open blinds accentuated her features perfectly. she was smiling proudly as she watched you morph into a different version of yourself that she only saw at your games.

"what're you looking at.." you said shyly, suddenly feeling self-conscious under your girlfriend's gaze.

she only giggled in response and lifted herself off the wall to fill the room with a loud smacking sound as she slapped your ass and made her way over to your bed, plopping down and facing the ceiling. you immediately let out a loud "oww!!" and rubbed over your burning cheek to soothe it.

"so, who are we playing against today? anyone i should be worried about?" jihyo asked. you walked over to the full-sized mirror in the corner of the room before answering her question, still focused on the stinging pain she left. "hm? oh, actually we aren't playing a real match today. i'm just gonna be showing you the basics and whatnot," you replied, tying your hair into a messy low bun at the same time.

a couple seconds of silence passed, concerning you enough to make you look behind you through the mirror and see your girlfriend who once laid flat down suddenly pin-straight up glaring at you. her posture was something out of a horror movie the way her back was perfectly aligned and her hands were beside her knees. you gulped and almost genuinely got scared until you glanced down to see her feet barely touching the floor. that's when you choked back a laugh at how cute her attempt at intimidating you was.

you finished up doing your hair and walked towards your pouty girlfriend. "what's wrong? why are you making a face like you just came out of one of those insidious movies?” you asked, pulling out a few strands to frame your face.

she whined in response, "i don't wanna learn the basics.. that's so boring. i wanna learn how to really play volleyball. not that kiddie stuff for the youth age group." you reached a hand up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "hey! that 'kiddie stuff' is really important, you know. you can't just go right into spiking without knowing how to hit and jump correctly first," you grumbled. jihyo looked at you confusedly, "..spiking..?" "exactly," you huffed.

jihyo groaned as she launched herself backwards onto the bed, the sheets rustling under her and beginning to surround her as she sunk further into the mattress.

"trust meee, it's for your own safety, love. i just don't want you getting hurt if i let you go right into a game not knowing what to do, that's all. a one-on-one session is always the best option for beginners," you reassured her, grabbing both of her arms and slowly pulling her up towards you. when you heard your girlfriend groan at you again, you realized it could be something else bothering her.

"ohh, or are you just annoyed that you have to be alone with me?? is that what this is??" you asked teasingly. but as soon as she heard that, jihyo stopped her whining immediately and scrunched her eyebrows up in a questioning manner, shaking her head aggressively.

"w-what? no! why would i be not wanna be alone with you! i just wanna be good already! just like.. let me skip the tutorial or something pleaseee," she pleaded. jihyo removed her arms from your grip and wrapped them around your waist, pulling you closer to her. you mockingly nodded your head and sarcastically spewed out "uh huhs" and "mhms" repeatedly, letting your girlfriend continue tightly hugging you and begging you for a free pass.

-

during the whole car ride there, it was impossible for you and jihyo to spend more than 2 seconds without touching each other in some way. whether it be her insisting she hold your hand while she secretly gushed at how attractive you look driving one-handed, or her switching to playing with your fingers while she asked more volleyball questions, or even kissing at each red light, there was never a single moment in that car where you two weren’t expressing your love in a form of touch.

as you pulled into the parking lot of the court complex, jihyo remembered the long nights and hours upon hours you would spend at these courts — it was practically your second home. that thought suddenly worried her that she might’ve been taking away your precious practice hours.

“baby, don’t you have practice today? if you do, you have to focus on that, not teaching me how to play. we can always do that some other time,” jihyo rambled.

you softly laughed at her flustered state knowing that you never told her the season was over yet. “no, love, don’t worry. it’s off-season for now, i don’t have any practices to go to,” you said reassuringly, squeezing her hand in yours to help settle her down. “plus, i would skip out on practice any day if it meant i could be with you.”

she sighed contently as you parked in an empty spot and turned the car off. before jihyo could even reach to click her seatbelt off, you teleported over to her side, opening the door for her and holding your hand out to help her up from your low sedan seats. your girlfriend mewled at the chivalrous gesture, grinning from ear to ear as she peeked her head out of the door. and to make sure she didn’t bump her head against the doorframe, you shielded her head with your hand as she came up.

popping the trunk open, you grabbed your backpack that was filled with volleyball gear and swung it over one shoulder. you made sure to grab jihyo’s as well, throwing hers over your other shoulder.

“you see that building over there with the big 2 painted on it?” you asked, pointing to the right side of the complex, “that’s where we’ll be. it’s a smaller court though since it’s only a practice gym.” jihyo looked in the direction you pointed at and hummed as she took in the size difference from the competition gym on the left and the practice one you mentioned.

while you were leading her to the unlocked doors of the practice court, jihyo kept pestering you to let her help you with one of the bags you were carrying, but of course you never let up. it even got to the point where you accidentally whacked your poor girlfriend with her own snack-filled bag while twisting and turning in protest of her need to help you.

“oh fu- sorry! i’m sorry, it was an accident i swear!” you frantically apologized, pulling jihyo into a messy hug. the heavy bags on your shoulders slipping off your arms as you held her close to you.

jihyo faked a hissy fit and jokingly pushed you away, “no i get it, you just hate me,” she said firmly, turning her head sharply and crossing her arms.

you paid no mind to your girlfriend’s antics, only catching up to her to hold open the door and watch her stomp past you in a sulk.

“i love youuu,” you chuckled.

her reply was barely audible, but you heard her mumble out an “i love you too” back.

-

setting your things down on the floor along the sidelines, you grabbed out an extra pair of knee pads you'd packed for jihyo. "come here love, let me put these on you," you ordered. it was difficult to slide the pads onto her legs with her shoes still on, so you helped her take them off for the time being, placing the pair neatly beside you.

kneeling down in front of her, you gently lifted one of jihyo's legs up at a time, skillfully adjusting the protective pads around her knee and taking extra precaution to make sure her legs were still able to move properly. you then sat back on your knees and admired your work, wondering why you felt like there was something missing.

"hmm.. i think.. i have something else for you to try on too," you pondered, digging through your bag once again to discover an old pair of extra small knee pads that didn't fit you anymore.

standing up with the gear in your hands, you held your girlfriend's forearm out as you stretched the material to enclose around her limb.

you snickered slightly at your spontaneous idea, "these are makeshift elbow pads specially designed for you." the pads were big enough to fit comfortably around her arms, protecting her exposed elbows from any potential harm.

jihyo allowed you to put them on her with no complaint, but soon began her whining when she began to feel the restricting feeling around her arms that was slightly limiting her movement.

"noo y/n, i don't need these. and they're so uncomfy!! i think i would play better without them.." she argued, scratching at the inside of her elbows to relieve the itching it caused.

knowing that your girlfriend was bound to try something outside of her comfort zone once she got into the flow of things, you decided it was the right decision to do everything in your power to help keep her from hurting herself while doing so. "just wear them please ji, i would feel much better seeing those on you," you refuted. it was true. you felt at peace knowing at least your girlfriend's precious joints were protected if not anything else.

she sighed out annoyedly, but ultimately complied to your requests only because she didn't want you to worry about her.

"thank you, my love," you said in satisfaction. you then reached into the cart of volleyballs behind you as jihyo slipped her shoes back on, squeezing a few to determine which one had enough air in it. grabbing the one you felt was best, you warmed up your wrist a bit by dropping the ball in front of you and striking it straight down, catching it once it came back up a couple times.

"okay, so first things first. you're gonna learn how to serve the ball," you said, leading her to the middle of the court facing the net. "the goal is to hit the ball over the net and onto the opponent's side of the court so that they can receive it and keep it in motion," you softly explained, repositioning her arms and legs into the perfect position for a proper serve.

jihyo picked up the skill quickly as you explained each step to her in full detail, making sure to critique her mistakes and show her the better way of executing her moves. within about 15 minutes of the first lesson, your girlfriend was already on her way to becoming the next star player for your team.

once she got at least 3 serves over the net, you decided she was ready to move onto the next step; receiving the ball. you showed her the proper way to hold her arms together and how to position herself under the ball to pass it to a teammate in front of her. you could tell jihyo was a natural at the sport as she was with any other activity she's ever tried.

after about an hour or so, her form was starting to get smoother and her reaction times were getting faster. but your energy needed replenishing and so did hers.

taking a short break together on the bleachers, you both had a water bottle in hand and shared the protein bar that jihyo had prepared earlier.

"do you wanna try peppering with me? i think you could be pretty good at it at this rate," you asked, sensing the way she was getting antsy to move onto something more advanced.

jihyo had no idea what exactly it was that you were asking her about, but she was eager to try it anyways. you put it in simple terms for her, explaining that it was a back and forth process of hitting and receiving the ball to each other. and just like that, hearing that she would be able to play against you in a way got jihyo excited again, the adrenaline giving her more energy than that protein bar ever did.

"okay! let's do it! come on!" jihyo exclaimed, throwing her bottle to the side and skipping back to the court while grabbing the ball. you smiled at how endearing she was and followed her soon enough, joining her across the same side of the court.

after another hour and a half of you two going at it, jihyo was seriously improving with the minimal coaching she had from you. it was honestly impressive how quickly she adapted to the flow of the game, but you expected nothing less of her.

deciding it was alright to push her a little further since she had all the protective gear in the world on, you picked up your pace a bit and spiked the ball harder, giving her less time to react and training her reflexes. obviously, jihyo played along effortlessly, getting herself hyped up by her newfound skill at volleyball. you could hear her cheer for herself everytime she successfully received the ball and sent it back in your direction.

but what you soon failed to realize was that the once amateur jihyo you knew 3 hours ago was gone. her alter ego had now taken over and fueled her with that insane ambition she had hidden away. as your eyes were too focused on watching her in case she fell, you completely failed to see the flying ball coming at your face at the speed of light.

bam.

you don't really remember what happened next, but it seemed like everything was happening in slow motion. the world faded into a quick darkness as you felt something pushing against your face. that's when reality hit. or better yet, that's when you were hit.

jihyo had gotten carried away with her strength and sent the ball directly towards your lovely face with a perfectly executed spike. not knowing she was capable of that, she screamed out in pure terror when she saw your body fall backwards onto the shiny hardwood floor.

"holy shit! y/n!! oh my god, oh my god!? are you okay??!" she panicked, sprinting over to your side and crouching down to lay you onto her lap.

you could only croak out in pain and kept your eyes sealed shut as the bright fluorescent lights above you were too intense to take in at the moment.

jihyo repeatedly muttered out small apologies and cradled you as she looked over your face to see a big red spot that she left across one side.

"y/n, please.. i'm so sorry baby, please talk to me. do you know who i am?! how many fingers am i holding up?? what's your name? how old are you!" jihyo cried in distress. she cupped your cheek and gently tapped it with her thumb to try and get you alert and awake again.

slowly opening your eyes at the feeling of her soft touch, you blinked your eyes slowly as you adjusted to the bright lights, making out the faint figure of your girlfriend in front of you. "i'm fine, ji, don't worry," you whispered in between groans. you reached a hand up to your forehead, feeling the tenderness as you ran your fingers over the surface. wincing slightly, you regained enough composure to inch your way up off of jihyo's lap, her arms coming behind your back to support your body.

"is there anything i can get you? maybe an ice pack or something?" jihyo said meekly. you could tell even through your disoriented state that she was feeling guilty. before you could even think of an answer, you could only bring yourself to thoughts of hurrying up and recovering so you could show her that it’s okay.

"uhh, yeah. yeah, there should be a um- gel pack in the freezer in the uh.. coach's room across the field," you stammered, squinting your eyes closed when the lights became too much again.

with no hesitation, jihyo got up and ran towards the door to follow your directions as you told her where to get the ice pack.

"you stay right there, okay? don't move," jihyo demanded. you could only nod your head weakly, shifting yourself to slowly lay back down on the cold tile beneath you. the sound of the metal door closing behind jihyo reverberated throughout the open space.

the pain across your face was getting worse as time went by, the throbbing you felt on your eyebrow in sync with your heartbeat.

as your mind started to process what just happened, your brain began to flash images of the ball smashing your face in repeatedly, making you cringe at how dumb you probably looked. with your knees propped up and your feet on the ground, you held your hands to your face and rapidly kicked the floor in a temper tantrum, simultaneously wailing at the replaying moment in your head.

you silently cursed yourself out for allowing yourself to be so careless and possibly giving your girlfriend the ick by seeing you get your face contorted with the sheer force of impact.

shooting your body upright, you slid backwards on your hands towards the wall, leaning against it and rummaging through your bag to find your phone. after you found it, you quickly switched to the camera app to check the damage, already sensing how big the knot on your forehead was going to get in the next hour. sure enough, the large red and tender spot on the left side of your face was growing a lump. being in pure disbelief, you moved the camera further away to get your full face in frame, staring at yourself in shame and embarrassment. after a couple more seconds of examining yourself, you could only conjure up a scoff and put your phone down as soon as you heard the door open loudly again.

jihyo, who came in sprinting to your aid with an ice cold gel pack, was leaving a trail of condensation behind her as it was thawing in her hands. once again, you could only think about how dangerous it would be if she were to slip and fall on the water, but the continually throbbing pain on your face was making it difficult for you to speak up and scold her to be careful.

"here, put this on it for now. it should help the swelling go down," jihyo panted, clearly out of breath from running around outside trying to find the coach's office while being worried sick about you at the same time. she ran her thumb over the small bump forming on your eyebrow and cooed at how much pain you must've been in.

she gently pressed the ice pack to your forehead and kept whispering small apologies, her pretty face scrunched into the cutest concerned look you've ever seen. you weren't usually the type of person to like being taken care of like that, but seeing jihyo like this only made you want to get hurt again just to see that look on her face. but looking down slightly at her arms, you couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous she looked with those makeshift elbow pads she still had on.

"what's so funny? do you really think you should be laughing right now?" jihyo reprimanded.

you almost cackled in her face at her sternness, but quickly stopped and winced in pain instead when the pain in your face prevented you from forming a real smile.

jihyo tsked at you and told you to shut up, adjusting the ice pack to cover more area on your skin. "stop moving, would you?" you cleared your throat, "sorry it's just- you look crazy with those elbow pads on," you said, stifling a laugh. suddenly a slap landed on your shoulder which you didn't see coming since jihyo had both of your eyes covered with the ice pack. "don't be annoying right now, y/n. you were the one who made me wear them anyways.."

she took the ice pack off your face to quickly slide the stupid pads off her arms, which she struggled to do. you helped her wiggle them off and threw them to the side as she pressed the cold pack back to your skin again.

"alright, alright," you surrendered. "wait. isn’t it me who’s supposed to be the one mad at you right now? given that you were the one who hit me in the face in the first place.."

your girlfriend paused and rolled her eyes at your smart comment, "why don't you just shut up and hold that to your busted ass face, how about that?" she said sarcastically, grabbing your hand to take over holding the pack against your head.

jihyo was pretending that she was okay by making jokes and getting annoyed at you, but in reality, you knew that she was beating herself up inside with the guilt of getting too carried away and hurting you. she's always wished that her competitiveness wasn't so intense since it could result in someone getting hurt just like you did.

besides the point, jihyo helped you stand up and grabbed your things and hers, sneaking away your keys from your bag's outer pocket with her empty hand.

she linked arms with you while your other arm was stuck covering the left side of your face with the freezing cold pack of blue gel. "let's go home and get you fixed up," jihyo said, reassuring you that she would make you feel all better. "oh, and i'm driving us home," she added, clearly not leaving any room for an argument.

"what? no. i'll drive," you argued anyways.

"y/n are you insane? you can't even see out of one eye right now, angel. i'm driving." jihyo made sure to emphasize the last part to you, unbeknownst to you as she already had your keys in her pocket.

the both of you continued arguing the whole way to the car, jihyo ultimately winning as she managed to get you towards the passenger side. but in the middle of your bickering, a familiar voice stopped you dead in your tracks.

"oh! isn't that?-"

it was the same friend who you ditched earlier with the excuse that you were "too tired" to join her and your other friends in a scrimmage today.

"hi, stacy!" jihyo greeted, waving at your friend enthusiastically.

you hid your face away from stacy as you heard her voice get closer, already expecting her to tease you about your injury.

"hellooo, y/n! what are you guys doing here this late?" she asked innocently, inching her neck downwards to make eye contact with you since you had your head held down. "and- what happened to your face?"

you sighed, knowing there was no escape from this now. "oh i just.. i…" you stuttered, looking to jihyo for help.

she picked up your signal immediately, "oh! that? y/n just fell and hit her head, that's all," jihyo laughed awkwardly.

"uh huhh. so this is why you were 'too tired' to scrim with us tonight then, huh?" stacy asked sarcastically, getting uncomfortably closer to your face.

while snickering, you slapped the gel pack on stacy's face, causing her to wipe her face and gasp out in shock.

"shut up," you teased, playfully pushing your friend away.

after a few minutes of catching up, you three eventually said your goodbyes and waited to see stacy drive off before turning to open the car door.

"wait- what did she mean by you were 'too tired?'" jihyo asked, pulling you back by your arm.

"oh, yeah. i told the group earlier that i was gonna take the day off since i was tired. we were supposed to play a practice match against some teams today, but, i got to spend my time doing something better instead," you said, smiling down at her and admiring the way the moonlight reflected against her glassy eyes, moving a sweaty strand of hair from her forehead.

jihyo couldn't help but pull your face towards hers and smash your lips together, completely forgetting about the fact that your whole face was in the early process of bruising. your eyes widened and you moaned painfully against her lips, attempting to pull away from the grip she had on both of your cheeks.

luckily, she realized it and released you, apologizing hectically once again. "oh shit- oh my god i forgot! i'm sorry baby, you were too cute and i couldn't help myself," she explained.

"haven't you hurt me enough today??" you asked in an annoyed tone. you quickly regretted it though once you saw the pouty look on her face and the way she said she didn't mean to in that little whiny voice.

"i knowww, i know. i'm just teasing you, love," you reassured her, pulling her sweaty body in for another hug.

"you know, maybe you should wear the elbow pads next time. seems like you need them more than i do," jihyo mumbled against your chest.

her comment made you scoff incredulously, "i-" but before you could even formulate a comeback, she opened the car door and forced you into the seat, blocking out whatever you managed to say with ''lalala" and shushes instead.

as she closed the door on you and made her way over to the driver's seat, you sulked into the leather cushion and chuckled at the way the tables turned on you.

turns out you were the one needing the protecting that night.

[bangchansgirlsblog]

i was wondering if we could have an argument or really angsty fanfic kind of i nEED to be hurt lolll

Keeping up with the Bhangs

Not the angstiest them all but yeah.

Warning: Angst, fighting, broken arm

Summary: Chan is a billionaire who can’t seem to stop demanding so much from his wife.

Pairing: Chan x reader.

**

"Chan I'm so mad at you," she exclaimed as she walked out their bathroom. It was as big as 4 bathrooms combined but better and more expensive.

She made her way into their walk in closet where Chan continued to put on his tie obviously not bothered by Y/n's rant.

"Baby, can we not do this right now? I have work right now," he put on his shoes and grabbed the jacket that Y/n had neatly ironed for him.

This annoyed her so much because why was he being so dismissive about the situation. He had always listened to her.

"But Chan, you can't just expect me to drop everything I have to come with you later," she crossed her arms together and glared at him as he walked up and down their room now trying to get everything together for the day.

Yes, even tho he was the CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world he still chose to be in time for work so he could be able to set an example.

"Christopher? Are you even listening to me?"

The tension in the room was high.

"I'm not Y/n!" He snapped turning to look at her, "I have work, I have meeting, I have things to do! You having to put on a pretty dress and smiling for one of the biggest events of the year shouldn't have to make me hustle like this. So please," he rubbed his temples and grabbed his phone from the table stand.

His phone was blowing up. Probably all calls from the office or his assistant. God, his assistant. The thought of her made Y/n skin crawl. Anger was  slowly fueling her outburst.

"Chan you know Joon-Ho has soccer all day and you already told me to go to it without you. Then Ji has a play. You want me to drive back home get dressed for a night out?"

The kids were downstairs watching tv while getting ready for their day. Their usual routine set by Y/n who chose to be THAT kind on mum. You know? The pretty, laid back, almond mum? It was working great for the kids.

"God! Why do you have to be so difficult. Fine. I'll just go with my assistant," he didn’t mean it but he was so angry he couldn’t hold back. He knew how much Y/n hated his assistant. How much she got jealous whenever she was around.

She frowns and the anger she initially felt, slowly melted. She couldn’t speak. She was hurt by his words.

"Chan that's not what I mean-"

"Then what? What do you possibly want from me?" He growled, "this conversation is over."

He grabbed his laptop bag and left her to stand there alone. The rising sun sending sun rays through their big windows. Her body slowly shock as each sob left her mouth.

This wasn't there first argument. They had argued the night before about the same thing but this time Chan was really laying it on her.

Chan always tried to understand her. He always listened but recently the more his business became successful the more rough and snappy he became and it wasn't helping her at all because having 3 children and one on the way was heavy.

Yes they had nanny's, yes they had drivers, yes they had maids but she didn't like to bother them. She liked doing things by herself because at the end of the they were her kids. She didn't know what evil intentions these workers had against her or her babies.

**

"Mama!" The voice of her littlest rung through her ear. Her scream making her body completely go numb.

"Soo-min? Babygirl? What happened?!" She gasped finding the little one on the ground holding her wrist.

"Mama!" She cried and jumped into her arms seeking comfort from Y/n.

"Soo-min, you have to tell mama what's wrong," Y/n panicked. How could she be so blind. She turned her back for one second.

"Mama it hurts!" She screamed once again in agony as she still held onto her wrist. Y/n's heart skipping so many beats.

It was only 10 minutes till end of the game. Why did this have to happen to her? Her brain was trying to process the situation. Trying to figure out what to do. The nanny was quick to be by her side trying to help in any possible way.

"Let mama see princess," she begged her little one, "did you fall down?" She questioned the crying girl.

"Mummy, can I go with the girls before the the play?" Ji-Yeon, their middle child, asked her.

"Not right now Ji, your sister’s hand is hurt-" she was shitting it down but a tantrum began. She couldn’t handle everything that was going on at once.

"But mum! You never let me go play! I wish daddy was here instead of you!" This stung. This hurt Y/n. This made her feel like the worst person in the world. Her husband hated her, she couldn't take care of her kids and they hated her. Her mental breakdown was slowly building up.

"Can you behave right now? I can't deal with you bratty attitude right now,"

"I hate you!" She barked back.

"Ji-Yeon. Do not try to tempt me right now or so help me God. Go sit over there and keep quiet or you're grounded."

Although she was in the middle of a tantrum the girl was scared, so scared she got up and made her way to the table where she continued to sulk.

"Soo-min, let mama see okay?" The little girl handed her mum the little hand. Her hand was so tiny that Chan loved to call it a baby paw because of the shape in made when it was in a fist.

Her wrist didn't look okay, it looked broken and that only made Y/n's anxiety grow larger but she kept her cool and continued to carry the little one to the nanny.

"Take her to the car right now, I'll get the rest of the kids. I think she broke her wrist. Please inform Chan to meet us at the hospital," the nanny agreed and slowly carried the crying girl.

Y/n rushed over to the coach and teacher to apologize for her abrupt leave. She explained to them the situation and told them that their other driver and nanny would be there to pick up her oldest son. She made sure security was with him before kissing him goodbye as he continued to play on with his game.

**

It was 6:30 when Chan run through the door. He was panicking and his tie was loosened around his neck.

"Is she okay? What happened?" His breathing was quick but his body relaxed once he saw his wife.

"How could you let this happen Y/n?" He barked at her.

"I was just trying to collect everything so-"

"She's a kid! A 4 year old. You guys should be paying close attention to her. Where's the nanny? Tell her she's fired, I can't believe you right now,"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? Who takes care of the kids on a daily? Me! Who goes for all their shows and their sports events? Me! Who's there to pick up the pieces whenever you leave home? Me! So don't you dare come in here and say it's my fault Chan," hot tears poured from her eyes and she glared at him. He was taken back. Everyone in the room was.

“I’m not saying it’s your fault…” he looked at the floor. Regret was eating him alive.

"I want a divorce Chan." Chan didn't allow her to even get the chance to walk away before he grabbed her hand and dragged her to the private hospital lounge. He wasn't going to have this conversation out there where nurses and doctors were watching.

Just like the kpop world worked, the Korean business world worked the same. Dispatch and everyone was ready for the biggest millionaires to crash and fall. Everyone was waiting for the latest scandal or drama and this was not going to look good for him.

"What do you mean you want a divorce?" He asked in disbelief. Her brain felt foggy and she felt exhausted.

"Chan, we're always fighting. You treat me like shit. You barely listen to me. You think I'm some baby making machine. All you care about is our image!" She exclaimed gasping for air, "I wish you never became rich, I want the old you back,"

His hands wrapped around her instantly. No hesitation. Her scent filled his nostrils and his body automatically relaxed. De ja vu was hitting him hard.

"I'm sorry," was all he could say. "Let me fix this, please my love?"

"C-Chan I can't. I can't do this anymore," she cried harder. A panic attack slowly passing by.

"Shhh, hey? Look at me. We're okay. I will fix this. I love you so much." He whispered while leaving kisses on her forehead.

"Can we finish up from the hospital and talk at home? Please my love,"

"Fine," she sighed, "but I'll go use the bathroom to wash up."

So she did, she washed her face and made her way to their daughters room where she found Chan goofing around with Soo-min. The poor little girl was so intrigued by her father that she forgot all about the bandaid they were wrapping her up with.

"Mum, are we still going to my play?" She asked softly. Y/n had totally forgot. How could she forget?

"Yes my love, let me talk to your dad really quickly, go get your bag," she giggled and quickly grabbed her bag, "can we stop by Yoona's house mama?"

"Yes princess, we can but only if you behave," the little girl smiled and quickly sat in the chair waiting for her mum to finish having a conversation with her dad.

"Chan, I have to take Ji-Yeon for her play, I totally forgot. Can you finish up here? I'll meet you at the house in like 2 hours,"

"Yeah sure, are you sure you wanna go for the play? You don't look too good love, I can go instead..."

"'No, I've got it. Once your finished up here, I called the chef to cook her some soup. Just feed it to her and then put her to sleep," she instructed Chan, "also make sure when you warm her bottle it's room temperature, she doesn't like it too hot or too cold. Also when you put her in bed you have to cuddle her Chan only for 5 minutes and she'll be out like a light."

Chan admired her as she wrote down the instructions down on the paper. Watching her be so controlling and being such a good mother was low key turning him on.

"Babe, we will be okay. I've done this before-"

"Yeah like 3 years ago before you became mr boss man," she teased her and quickly gave Soo-min a kiss on the cheek.

"Mummy loves you princess, I'll see you in a bit," the little girl waved at her mum and continued to admire the pink plaster that wrapped around her hand.

[elsweetheart]

More of coworker!Ellie please! I am a waitress and costumers can be so rude sometimes… that one you just posted literally made me cry, wishing I had an Ellie to defend me and cheer me up :(

If you don’t want to it’s fine tho, don’t worry <3

nooo don’t cry!!!!!!!! i used to be a waitress n i know the struggles trust me !!! (lovingly throws these coworker!ellie hcs your way)

• so you’re a waitress, and ellie is a host and occasionally a bartender. those are her paid jobs. however, she ends up somehow being a security guard every single time a rude customer shows up. okay, maybe just your own personal security guard.

• the other waitresses can handle their business, and of course you can too — but she can see how frightened and upset you get every time a customer raises their voice at you and she cannot just stand there. instantly, she’s sliding infront of your body with a glare, flagging down security with her free hand. “out. this isn’t the kinda place you can direspect the waitresses, so respectfully— uh, bye.” she nods to the exit.

• she wants to tell them to get the fuck out. wants to tell them that if they ever raise their voice at you again it’ll be the last time they ever speak. but, she likes her job. she likes being able to keep an eye on you and protect you.

• if it’s not clear, she’s like — in love with you.

• always getting distracted by how pretty you look flouncing around, smiling at your usuals. she even thinks you look adorable when the place gets busy and you get that little stressed pout on your face, running back and fourth to the kitchen with your little notepad.

• purposely takes her breaks at the same time as you so the two of you can hang out, gossiping about customers (and your other coworkers tbh cos working at a restaurant there’s always gonna be drama.)

• like i mentioned before, always bringing u to the back room when she sees u get upset because of a customer / your mean boss and calms u down. “hey, hey, hey. eyes on me, babe. you’re doing good out there, okay? i know it’s hard. you’re doing so good. don’t let ‘em see you cry, yeah? those assholes don’t deserve to know that they got to you.” whilst she’s holding your face keeping ur big teary eyes on hers :(

• she knows ur rota off by heart bc she schedules to work on all the days u do 🤭 and if u don’t show up to ur shift or take a sick day or something she’s instantly texting u like ‘Where are you????’ and she’s just like ughhhhh bc working shifts without u is soooo long and boring !!!!

• always dropping by u and making u laugh if she can see u getting a little stressed. you’d be wiping up a table and she’d just walk behind you and quietly go “hey. table 53 looks like mr incredible. bye.” and walk away leaving u giggling 😭

• if it’s busy, and hard to get around eachother around the restaurant floor, she’ll do that thing where she has to get past behind u and will put her hands on your hips / waist and basically press herself against u like “‘scuse me.” in her low drawl and she doesn’t know what she’s doing when she does it, she’s just used to doing it to make sure u don’t back into her but it always makes ur heart beat reaaal fast :))))

• loads of ur co workers already think you’re dating, or secretly dating, or whatever. they see right through the whole ‘just friends’ thing, constantly trying to encourage the other one to ask eachother out !!!!!

• doing a closing shift with her on a pretty empty night, her shift ended a few hours ago but she stays with u, sitting at a table as u chat to her, sweeping up around u and occasionally tending to the few random lone tables of people having a late night meal. she loves to just sit n watch u :(

• sometimes she even offers to drive u to work / pick u up. “ellie are you sure? that seems like a lot of effort…”

“nah, don’t even worry ‘bout it. it’s on the way, so i might aswell, ya know?”

• it’s definitely not on the way during her route, but she’ll take the extra ten minute detour anyday just to see you smiling n looking pretty in her passenger seat <333

[zoetiger-1106]

The Chameleon is actually a really complex character and here's why.

Disclaimer: This post will contain kfp 4 spoilers as well as include info from interviews and the animation featurette and I will be analyzing the movie pretending that everything had deeper thought put into it even tho it's most likely not the case sometimes

For those who haven't seen it, have the absolute criminal offense that screwed with the story telling of this movie because it is important context.

Now that we have that whole thing out of the way, let me explain to you how the Chameleon's character is shown through more subtle things instead of just very in your face exposition/ storytelling.

1) Cammy's insecurities

The first time she was in on screen, Cammy was established as being in charge of Juniper City via commanding the local crime lords. She is hidden among them for the first part of their conversation, where she observes them badmouth her before she reveals herself, but even before the reveal, we get hints to her being there via the line "You forgot the shape-shifting sorceress part" that she throws into the conversation after the bear crime lord insulted her appearance.

Despite showing herself as in control and well put together, her need to interject hints at the fact that she does still have some underlying insecurities regarding her true form.

That insecure aspect of her character is further proven by her summoning Tai Lung first (I'll get to that later) and a statement from Viola Davis where she talked about how she did the character voice for Cammy

The underlying implication that she has internalized when masters told her she was "too small, too lowly and that kung fu wasn't [her] destiny" is proven even more when you take into consideration that she exclusively transforms into species that are larger and more physically powerful than her.

She literally says: "I grew, I excelled, and I got everything I had ever dreamed of." Everything BUT kung fu. The one thing she wanted to do from the very beginning. So, with that context, the "dream" she got fulfilled to a degree was the power. Conventional, physical power.

People have told her kung fu wasn't "her destiny" so she decided to take matters into her own hands and do what she believed to get her to where she wanted to.

To quote the Stephanie Ma Stine, the director who actually cared about her: "Because she has this anger that's been build up from always being invisible to everyone else, her transformation process actually reflects her anger."

All those years of being over looked and seen as less than had such an impact on her that it consumes ever part of her being. That lizard needs a hug and therapy, your honor.

As I said, I wanted to get into why she summoned Tai Lung first (chill I know this was not actually as thought out as I am interpreting it to be but hear me out.)

Tai Lung is everything she isn't and couldn't have been.

He is tall and conventionally powerful. Even if you knew nothing about his character, you could take a look at him and know that man is strong. On top of that, he had received formal training at a renowned school by a renowned master. Taking his kung fu first and foremost is not only the fulfillment of a wish she's had her whole life but also a power move on it's own; while not able to do kung fu Cammy still managed to beat someone who was what the schools she had gone to all those years ago would have considered the ideal student.

Also can we acknowledge how the water dragons (those are not komodo dragons idc how often it's stated) clap for her after she's done with Tai? Show of hands from all the mentally ill people who'd get their henchmen to clap for them too because they desperately need praise 🙋

Similar can be said for how she makes the people of Juniper City bow before her when she is paraded around; it makes her feel powerful.

Lastly I'd like to point out that her line of "Third rule of the streets? [...] Some would say it's the most important. Noone is interested in your feelings." Is probably something she got from people not caring about her feelings back in the day when she tried to pursue her passion.

2) Cammy's knowledge & skill

"Those bonds (the cages) are enchanted with some very old and very powerful magic. You'd need at least 10 Dragon Warrior's to get through them". Not only can she create such strong (presumably) chi based bonds but she can make them in batches and with ease. Between the scene of her accepting tributes from the crime lords of the city and Po's vision about her plan we can see her enchant multiple cages at once.

Not only that but she knows advanced chi techniques as well as how to open portals to the Spirit Realm. That is not easy information to come by Cammy has been researching chi in general for god knows how many years.

I don't know if I have said this on this blog before but her not being redeemed is such a wast because she could have not only helped Po further his mastery in chi but also aid in replacing a lot of the scrolls in the JP since she is knowledgeable on history and the history of kung fu and master too.

You honor that lizard is a nerd and deserves to geek out with Po.

I'd also like to point out that not only is she able to shape shift but do it incredibly swiftly. She can be seen switching forms in a matter of seconds even mid combat. Not only that but she has so much control off her body that she was able to create that dragon from of hers by transforming parts of her into different beings with little to no effort. That forms for incredibly stable too; she only transformed out of it to change her strategy.

Her incredible amount of control over her body funnily enough also shown by her 3d model alone. As stated by Sean Sexton the head of character animation "The Chameleon had 8130 controls. You could move every single part of that character [...]"

Lastly, I need to talk about how she genuinely is like Po.

I've seen people say that she can't do anything on her own because she just steals people's kung fu when no. No that is not the case. After having stolen enough master's kung fu to have a wide knowledge of the craft she was able to mimic and adapt to Po's style without having to steal anything from him. If she wouldn't have been given the opportunity to learn kung fu she would have become like Po and been able to master techniques based on simply observing them.

TLDR: Cammy is a great character this fandom is just horrible to female villains

[blitz0hno]

This got long so TL;DR: Mikoto acts on autopilot ~%90 of the time, but I believe he planned (most of) his crimes. He has straightforward reasons that align with his actions, but appears purely unreasonable because of his mental state. Kotoko is very deliberate, but acts her most violent out of raw emotion. She appears calculating, but feels completely out-of-control despite her strong "heroic" front.

y'know it SEEMS cliche that John screams like a madman every time he fronts but gee horror tropes aside has Es considered that switching can HURT?? like a lot???? Like idk maybe feeling your body flood with adrenaline and being made to handle that shit the moment someone "pisses him off" is a little bit agonizing? Maybe having no idea what's going on until he can process the emotional flooding adds fear which really doesn't help???

Fuck mannnnn when you read between the lines, John and Mikoto are a REALLY good deconstruction.

... especially since he is contrasted mainly with Kotoko. I say this because I was just struck with an idea.

ESSAY TIME LITERALLY A WHOLE ESSAY CAME OF THIS RANDOM THOUGHT no sources tho pure opinion~

So KOTOKO, despite saving the girl being her primary objective, kicked her victim to death out of anger. At her core, despite all her ideals, she was not acting out of reason or necessity, however reasonable the actual action seems.

Given that prisoner pairs are meant to starkly contrast, that gives me my best reasoning as to why I defend Mikoto's innocent vote while also praying John DOESN'T disappear:

Despite how unreasonable and irrational John acts at first, there's a reason he reacts the way he does. And deep down, somewhere in his mind, MIKOTO knows the reason he did what he did. His motives are real, even if he doesn't remember carrying out such a "dream." This leads me to believe there were REALLY big reasons, and likely good reasons, for killing who he did.

A deliberate, maybe even carefully premeditated act would undeniably lead to the death sentence. His brain knows this even if Mikoto himself isn't consciously thinking of it. But a defense of randomly "losing control?" MAYBE he can keep surviving. Because all he was doing was surviving.

I believe that when one protects themselves, they protect others as well. Perhaps I am biased, but no, abusive people should not go unaddressed and uninterrupted. It's very very very implied that John and Mikoto went after people he felt endangered by. I went over this in my first "Double" analysis, but TL;DR I think the red herring John gave (which is funny cuz that phrase comes from tactics to throw DOGS off their trail) goes SO much farther thematically than I've seen talk about.

John has reasons that he does what he does, as does Mikoto. Systems are wired for survival. The lucky ones do well in academics and even many job environments because they are ALWAYS processing what to do next. Burnout is SEVERE because the brain is basically always "on alert," even when we're checked out. I can find clinically documented sources for this claim and I will if I make a video or something about this, but yeah it sure is an EXPERIENCE when it all comes crashing down. Trying to end a cycle.

As for Kotoko? She is literally portrayed to have a one-track mind. Her ideals and justice. But ironically? She killed out of raw anger and emotion, which is what the wolf at the end of Deep Cover represents. Despite having a very "normal" life overall, SHE is the one who truly loses all control of herself. SHE beats up the people who annoy her. Because it's grating, as she said in Deep Cover, to face the ugliness of humanity and NOT be able to escape your brain's response to it. SHE cannot "disappear" and forget her rage at injustice like Mikoto can. She is at the mercy of this uncontrolled rage and the resulting violence she allows herself to perpetrate. Repeating a cycle.

it's so brilliant. It's SO brilliant. They are the same. They couldn't be more different. Neither is a hero nor a monster. But they are heroes in SOMEONE'S, or arguably MANY people's eyes. And yet in both 009 and 010's cases, when we see their truest and most raw colors, we question EVERYTHING we assumed before.

Mikoto is not telling the whole truth when he says he doesn't get angry or remember anything. John straight-up lied to cover Mikoto's motives for doing so, and possibly out of his own genuine confusion. He is acting on instinct drilled in by traumatic events that the brain is using as reference; however, with how DID works, John is not going to know that. It's not his "job," the protection role he plays in the system , to know that. Yet there are reasons all the same. His BIG reason, which he calls out to Mikoto in "Double," over and over, was to SAVE Mikoto. Meanwhile, Mikoto is afraid of his actions, but presumably carried them out in order to stay alive. Whatever his "dream," he still wishes he could be seen as a good man despite what he presumably felt he had to do to survive. DID is the "sink or swim" disorder; it's literally about saving yourself and being protected from the emotions that come with it. Whether or not his reasons truly make sense is yet to be seen, but either way, Mikoto feels he cannot trust himself. He is cut off from emotions that would make him believe his reasons were "bad enough" to ACTUALLY warrant murder. That is why he split; to forget how bad it truly got. He has NO idea how protected he truly is.

Kotoko firmly believes that she is COMPLETELY honest about what she wants and what she wishes to do about it. She believes her anger is justified completely, and thus her actions must be justified as well. This reasoning allows her to be completely convinced that she is aware of and comfortable with her every choice. Her reaction to her own anger, leaving Lucky behind in that rage, and her reaction to the wolf in "Deep Cover" revealed her awareness and comfort to be a self-imposed illusion of strength. Her ideals are real and she fights for them, yet she's crossed so many lines that she's actually very afraid of what she's become. It's right behind her, isn't it? Something she cannot run from before it swallows her. And having picked apart every other person there? She is alone; but this fear isn't "strong," so she hides it away for the extraction machine to reveal to us as the audience.

Both are driven by larger-than-life emotions that can only come from raw existential anguish; emotions repressed until they explode. Neither are anywhere near what they seem to be on the surface. Both are unknowingly dishonest. Neither knows what to do about it.

I wanna say there's hope for them but you know. Superhell.

[mrstsugikuni]

"His moonlight."

Summary:

(name) kibutsuji is the daughter of muzans kibutsuji and out of all his off spring she has proven herself worthy to him. Kokushibo always saw her as distraction since muzan has actually taken a liking to her and actually loved her, he was almost always busy spoiling her and giving her his attention. Kokushibo never understood why until he finally saw what he saw his heart taking it's first beat in 500 years.

This whole story will be in kokus pov. Unless said other wise in one of the chapters!

WARNING: The story itself WILL contain suggestive scenes, and/or sexual encounters. I will put a warning before the scene so you can skip if you're not comfortable. Anyways enjoy the story lovelies 🫶

Chapter 1.

Muzans did it again. He brang his daughter to the meeting. Oh how I hate her with every non living gut in my body, I can't stand her unique eyes, her smile that's almost like the sun, and just everything about her! I'm so sick of her I wish muzans never even saw anything in her and she'd disappear!

I just don't understand, why is she so favored she hasn't been alive that long at all! Just 21 years, so why her from any of us! Why her and not me! She's just like yoriichi and I hate that! Why can't he see she's just like him! It isn't fair.

I bowed before my master, even if I did believe he was being foolish for this girl. But I'm being even more foolish or childish as some would say because of the way I'm acting about this. I mean it's just some girl, nothing more. I just don't understand why he's still keeping her so close like she's 5, she's an adult.

"kokushibo, please refrain yourself from staring at my daughter!" I heard my master, was I staring? I mean I knew I was zoning out from my jealous thoughts but I didn't think I was staring. "Yes, master sorry." I bowed my head to stare at the floor and not his disgusting daughter since I was apparently staring.

"I will be going somewhere for a while, Tomorrow I will decide who shall take care of her and I don't wanna hear any complaints if I choose one of you." Muzans said, and knowing my luck he might choose me since he trusts me more than any of them.

Suddenly I felt a pair of eyes on me, I looked up once more scanning the room for who might be staring and that's when I met her eyes, that brat.

Her face flushed red as she looked away and hid behind her father, I rolled eye's and looked back down not wanting to part take in her childish acts.

I simply wasn't interested.

The meeting was over and muzans had asked for us to get to know her while he went off to think by himself for a bit. It seemed as of tho she wasn't interested in what any of them were talking about but I would find her trying to look for someone probably me, luckily I was hiding.

Without even realizing it, I felt a presence behind me and I knew exactly who it was. "what do you want?" I asked trying to get this useless conversation over with. "Well, my father told me to get to know everyone so that includes you as well!" She gave me her signature smile and I couldn't help but grimace at such a face.

Disgusting. *perfect?* No.

Her eyes fluttered open like a princess under the night sky with moonlight shining on her perfectly shaped face.

Ugly. *Pretty..* No!

Her eyes capturing mine sealing them in as she continued to talk to me in her little sweet voice or what ever.

Obnoxious. *Funny!* NO!

These unwanted comments bubbling in my head piss me off. I hate her more than anything. There isn't a day where I don't think about smashing her head into a wall.

That's when I felt another presence and I snapped out of my thoughts. "Hello, (name)-chan! I missed not being able to talk to you!" Douma said in a voice coated with the sickening fake sweetness he puts on.

"Oh hello douma-san!" Her face lit up at seeing him as she patted the spot next to her.

*should be me...* NO!! SHUT UP!

He sat next to her scooting closer to her, he was almost on top of her it seemed and that's when I felt it.

Anger.

But why? I hate her, why do I feel this, if anything I should be happy cause now she isn't talking to me but I'm not. I want him to disappear and go away. He shouldn't even be near her.

Almost like he knew he was making me angry he put his arm around her and pulled her close. I got up and just walked away. I didn't wanna feel any of that, I didn't understand why I was in the first place. Nothing he was doing felt right but I hate her.

I hate her more than yoriichi.

I continued to walk around the infinity castle trying to figure out why I was feeling such an emotion when he was near her. But nothing I couldn't think straight.

"Kokushibo-dono~." Great the bastard followed me. "What do you need?" I asked him obviously showing signs I was annoyed with him. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok, you just got up and left." He said smirking.

"Nakime, teleport me to my home."

I was in the safety of my home, away from him, and away from her. "Maybe some meditation will help me calm my nerves and figure out why I was acting in such a way." I walked outside where the mist ran thick and no human dare go, the silence was overpowering, and the trees blew in the wind.

"What a lovely night." I sat in a patch of grass, and gazed at the moon before closing my eyes and taking in deep breaths.

My mind couldn't stop thinking about her.

Her smile, her eyes, her voice, and her lips.

I shouldn't be thinking of her in such a way, but something keeps pulling me closer to these thoughts.

When she was younger I never had these thoughts I hated her, wished she would die. But when she turned 18.. everything changed. I started getting weird thoughts, unwanted ones.

It was almost like it was her blood demon art.

Hallucinations? Mind control? Just messing with ones brain in general? I don't know and perhaps I never will.

But there isn't a day she isn't on my mind, and there isn't a day I'm not begging for her death. I need to figure all this out, I need to find out why I get such thoughts, maybe muzans knows but he doesn't have time for such a foolish question.

[strawberryraviegutz]

I feel like this needs to be said but..Am I the only one getting annoyed with the “Ame Chan is a bad person/problematic” discourse?? I’m not just talking about the ppl who’ve been complaining about her character saying they “didn’t realize how awful she was”. I’m also talking about ppl being like “lmao yall clearly didn’t play the game of course she’s a horrible person you’re just now realizing that??”

You don’t necessarily have to play a game to be a fan of it. It’s pretty common for ppl to watch gameplay videos or videos covering the story of/analyzing games and characters if they can’t or don’t wanna play it. Second I dont think we should just look at Ame through a black and white lense. Ame’s not a horrible person but she’s not necessarily good either. She’s a very VERY flawed person who struggles with mental health issues and addiction and makes rlly bad decisions and says rlly mean/bad things.

But that’s like…literally everyone on earth. Everyone has flaws especially mentally ill ppl, nobody’s perfect. It’s implied that Ame was literally abandoned/disowned by her parents so of course she’s not going to make the best decision with a “stable” mind especially if you’re desperate.

Ame Chan does terrible things/decisions like taking drugs on stream and self harming on stream and I think she even killed herself on stream too in one ending(tho feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) which is obviously irresponsible and dangerous. And she says things that aren’t necessarily nice or the best(some of it is warranted since some of the ppl in her chat were saying rlly awful, gross and even misogynistic things and calling her “old”).

And while she only wanted to be kangel for attention online, it’s kinda possible that she’s been able to have positive impacts on her fans/audience. We’ve seen how she is with the younger side of her fanbase as Kangel. She’s very kind and compassionate and overall very sweet towards them. Kangel’s entire persona is revolved around reaching out to lonley ppl online who’re struggling and to make them happy.

She may be doing it only for money snd attention, but like most ppl who struggle with mental health issues, they sometimes don’t realize the positive impacts they’ve had on the ppl around them. Hell maybe deep down Ame made Kangel to also help reach out to ppl like her online and make them happy too.

And as for the whole shotacon accusations, Ame Chan is NOT a shotacon. It was a very bad translation error and we all know that most translators aren’t always reliable(especially Google Translate) so please stop spreading that around. It’s been debunked already.

Maybe I’m biased because while I don’t have BPD(at least I don’t think so), have never taken drugs, nor have I ever cut myself in like a very VERY long time(tho I never left any scars cuz i didn’t like pain)and have an anxiety disorder and am autistic, I still sorta relate to/kin Ame Chan.

I’ve had my moments where I’ve had emotional and or violent outbursts(not where I’ve beat someone up or broke anything)due to a rush of emotion and or getting real worked up/frustrated online and irl.

And it’s always rubbed me the wrong way when I’ve been seeing ppl trying to put Ame into the box of “bad/problematic person” whether you’re trying to defend her character or not. It’s a lot more complex and morally grey than that and I think characters like her being in media are important to lessen the stigma of mental health whether it be in Japan or worldwide.

Feel free to correct me and fill me in on stuff if I missed anything or left anything out but in conclusion, Ame Chan is a not a good person, but she’s not necessarily a monster and or all bad either and I think ppl on both sides should realize that.

[gendervapor14]

treating myself to some old OP episodes to alleviate the horrors and i can’t resist the urge to ramble about bell-mère’s death a little bit.

so, i will start here, with this iconic moment:

manga readers may notice something right off the bat. “hey, arlong’s not aiming for her head!” yes, in the anime, seems they switched his aim for the heart. i actually prefer this. first of all, that flintlock is huge compared to her, so head or heart, it’s gonna kill her. not a fatality issue. i’m just a huge sap, and i think there’s something more symbolic about him shooting her in the heart for defending her love - her kids. (even tho all of this could have been avoided if she just lied, and then she’d actually be able to keep loving and supporting her kids, but, uh, i digress)

this moment really captured me when i was first watching, because for the first time, one piece truly felt dark. this wasn’t just an upsetting backstory. it had some element of gore here, which i’m not sure would be as effective if he went through with a headshot. they might have censored it a bit more.

more (slightly gruesome) photos and analysis beneath the cut 👀

look at what they got away with here!! this was early one piece mind you, so i feel like things were generally a little cushier? (or maybe that’s just my nostalgia talking XD) but the harsh black and white contrast, the utter silence during this scene, the speed in which this happened! (it was a pain to pause and scrub and get good screenshots, let me add). i will say i’m not up to date with current OP shenanigans, but to me, this seems like one of the most abrupt and brutal deaths in the series. (and this doesn’t even put into account the horrid beating she got beforehand)

there are some nice parallels here between her death and rosinante’s, (most notably her last words being “i love you” to nami and nojiko, and a flintlock as the weapon of choice), but even then, i think this is a bit nastier. seven little bullets in a 10ft tall man is painful, yes, but it wasn’t gruesome, and he managed to cling onto life for a little while afterwards. this was just. bang. done. heart – gone. leaves the viewer totally reeling.

in a way i feel like it’s almost an honor for bell-mère to get such a violent death? okay hear me out i know that sounds crazy. she sacrificed herself for her kids and went out kicking and screaming (or standing solemnly, towards the end). she brought forth such a refreshing take on women in one piece. i mean, let’s not forget this scene:

she was gonna blow his brains out!! zero hesitation!! how many characters in this series, let alone women, would go through something like this? i get that different characters have different honor codes and such, but it was sooo incredibly invigorating to see a woman get her hands dirty like this.

so by that logic, it’s kind of weirdly nice to see her not be treated like a little doll? this is highly speculative though, because i’ve noticed there’s this rather annoying trend where women are used as a moral compass for villains. “oh, look how deplorable arlong is, he did that to a young pretty woman!” we see the same thing with doflamingo, for instance, in his “fight” with viola. “oh how heinous, he threw her to the ground! how disrespectful! she’s just an innocent princess!” yeah, ugh. getting off tangent here

this whole scene set a standard for me, (and hopefully other viewers), who kind of saw the series as a fun lighthearted pirate adventure. yes, there was tragedy and sadness before this arc, before this backstory, but something about this moment in particular made my perception tremble. the bar was raised! a compelling character and backstory can have a truly harrowing ending!! a delightful revelation for me, for whatever reason XD

feel free to chime in if ya got any additional comments or takes on the matter. i don’t think bell-mère gets enough love. if you do wanna chime in, just um. be nice. i’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, okay. and multiple interpretations of these scenes are valid! i’d love to hear ‘em! <3

[drbtinglecannon]

Darius because YOU! Are his lawyer

This is such a high honor coming from Willow Park's lawyer herself, thank you pal 💖

How do I feel about this character

I love Darius so much he's absolutely one of my top favorites, it's like between him and Eda. He's hilarious, he's cunty, he's interesting, he's one of Dana's favorites, he's a good person but he's a bitch about it, his design fucks, he has no canon love interest, and I wish we got more of him. I have so many thoughts on him and he was only in about 15min of screentime.

What can I say, I looked at all the Coven Heads in the S2B trailer and immediately decided he was my favorite and every time he was on screen I was validated by how thoroughly he passed the vibes check

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I am typically an aroace Darius enjoyer, but I have fondness for dariraine, dariraeda, and darimila (why is he always listed first and why is it fitting (wait I have to preface I'm ace and I use ship names by what sounds best I have literally never done it by "who tops" I can barely remember that's the common use of ship name order SO I'm mocking Darius as he would wanna be listed first because he's That Bitch)) because all of them have a lot of cute fluff potential (and dariraine has fun angst potential especially if it's between Eda's Requiem and O Titan, Where Art Tho)

Typically tho even in those ships I don't see Darius as someone that would live with a romantic partner, I think he'd want to keep his own house lol and he's very valid, it's styled exactly how he likes and no one else lives up to his cleanliness standards, it's win win for both parties

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Darius & Eberwolf is literally Lilith & Hooty a little to the left and it's sooo fucking funny and wholesome for it. Lilith was actually my S2A obsession until she left I was so fucking devastated when she moved out, so seeing Darius & Eberwolf were a similar archetype to Lilith & Hooty really endeared me to them immediately in ER when we knew nothing about them. Then by the series end they really are one of my favorite little duos of toh they're comedy gold potential but didn't get enough screentime 😔 Darius surrendered for Eberwolf even tho it was at the cost of the rebellion and I still think about that scene. Guy who joked about people dying is likely actually not being pragmatic at all when it comes to loved ones 👍 they threaten Terra Adrian & Vitimir lol

I'm also a "Darius & Eda used to be besties and will do so again" truther. They're the same yet opposites, they're both dramatic, they're both powerful, they both have a hot monster form, and they both speedran becoming adoptive parents after just being That Guy to some kid for a while. The ONE episode of interactions they had in COTH with Darius having to exasperatingly tell Eda what he means but also he calls her "Eda" not "Edalyn" like everyone else but Raine does, and Eda mocking Darius over beating his ass in ER and Darius IMMEDIATELY getting defensive & lying which Eberwolf calls him out for, DO YOU SEE MY VISION? THEY USED TO BE BESTIES. THE CLAWTHORNE PARENTS LOVED DARIUS. DARIUS & EDA WERE EACH OTHER'S ASSHOLE FRIEND. THAT FANART OF THEM IN FACIAL MASKS & DOING THEIR NAILS WATCHING DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES IS WHAT THEY WERE.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Liking him at all is still quite unpopular 😔 this fandom sure treats the nonwhite parents a certain way lol. I also don't really like ala//darius, I get the appeal but it doesn't compel me

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I've had a perfectly envisioned idea for a year or two now of an toh episode that followed the rebel trio after Them's the Breaks, Kid and before Hollow Mind that was a 3 part split reminiscent of how Once Upon A Swap was paced.

Not only would it tie back to the style of OUAS -- a notoriously hated toh episode -- but it would be able to give info in a slow drip by following Raine first, then by the end we see Raine is working with Darius & Eberwolf, then it goes back to the beginning of the day through Eberwolf's POV, then Darius' POV, and ending on the buildup that they're the rebels Hunter is chasing at the beginning of HM.

We as the audience can tell by the designs who they were in HM (or well. Most of us. Some people thought Darius was Alador for some reason) but ahhh think of the extra foreshadowing that could've been in HM if we got an episode inside the castle so close to the day of unity!! Like what if Collector's shadow was visible at one point behind one or all of the rebels, letting us know Belos knew exactly who they were which lead to the foreshadowing in HM of the 3 arrows being where Darius, Raine(Eda), & Eberwolf each get put to stand during the day of unity spell in King's Tide BUT ALSO how we don't REALIZE it's referencing them specifically UNTIL KT AIRS. LIKE THE LAYERS IT COULD'VE ADDED.

Also obligatory Darius Hunter moment has to happen here to lead to Darius' reaction in HM upon hearing Hunter was trapped considering their last on screen moment in ASIAS and some people even now can't visualize them interacting in a positive manner 🙄

I do imagine it would be a touch 🤏 angsty. Like in my vision, Darius sees Hunter getting heat from Kikimora over a wild magic book, and it's like she can't really do anything to him over it but she could tell Belos who would be unhappy to hear that and all 3 of them are aware this would be the outcome, and Darius debates for a solid 10 seconds if he should pretend he didn't see them because well as heartless as he knows it sounds it actually benefits him & the rebellion keeping Hunter at arm's length but now that he's spent time with the kid he's like not a bad kid maybe they can convince him to join them?? Before he goes over and like a true actor plays it off that he asked Hunter for the book. Hunter obviously does not play along well as he's not a good actor, so Darius very condescendingly tells Kikimora to leave like "you can read, can't you, Kiki?" And she sputters "yes of course I--" and he just cuts her off "then read the room" while giving her a cold look until she awkwardly and angrily leaves. Like absolute cunt behavior from Darius but it's hilarious and it works to his cover as a CH. He gives Hunter the book back when Kikimora leaves and they good naturedly mock the other's taste in books ("I don't know how you can read that, Deadwarian era writing is dreadful to slog through" "Well some of us like reading more than fashion magazines") before they pass the mess hall and Darius asks Hunter if he's eaten, "Y-yes!", Flapjack is not standing for such lies and pecks him from under his cloak, which Darius knows is Flapjack so he laughs and tells Hunter to eat, Hunter pauses before he tries to genuinely thank Darius for defending him earlier, and then well shit remember how it's better for the rebellion if Darius keeps Hunter at arm's length maybe he needs to remember the bigger picture? He was literally doing rebel work when he got distracted helping Hunter out, so he kinda gently tells Hunter not to expect he can always go save him, and because Hunter's an abused teen (not that Darius really knows that yet) and he was enjoying having an adult that's nice to him now he visibly deflates before quickly excusing himself

Darius apologizes under his breath because he doesn't enjoy being mean to Hunter (even back when he was being mean to him) but it's one of those hard choices he makes like how Raine refused to get Eda involved. Can be miserably tied back to how Hunter ends up hiding at Hexside and not the rebels finding & helping him.

Wow I went insane typing that all but yeah that's my vision of what I would add to canon if I could add 1 episode into the show that doesn't change anything at all it only adds character filler & foreshadowing potential. Maybe I'll actually write this fic one day haha.

Another thing I kinda wish canon would've done was overtly state Darius adopted Hunter because like it's clearly implied but a lot of people still deny it! Dadrius won guys let us have this they had to cut so much stuff from the show including Darius backstory

From this ask!

[domain-of-sentience]

ch 39 ramblings (+ HoS analysis)

wow this was the greatest arc of all time huh

(due to length, this post will mainly be a HoS analysis but ill start off with summarizing my feelings about the chapter/arc as a whole)

Summary

in my prior posts i've already mentioned how these chapters had it all: good premise, good cast and character development, actual stakes, immersive and gut-wrenching scenes, the list goes on. lately i've seen people express concerns over Sa and how she compares to the likes of other antagonists like otto but honestly...

i care more about the chess pieces than the ones controlling them

i fucking love seeing characters struggle in the face of adversity. in some of the previous arcs, it felt like the protagonists would always find a way to be one step ahead. but whenever the salt snow cast tried to do the same, they'd end up spraining that metaphorical foot or be pushed many steps back... or just die onscreen 🙈 even if there wasn't true death, there were still lasting consequences

the spectacle was off the charts too. so many scenes were rendered with love and care that sprinkled additional life to these characters, many of whom had lofty dreams that were to end in a whimper than a bang.

and don't get me started on the elden ring ass boss fight and that tense platforming sequence. despite knowing that things were going to be ok somehow, i was able to suspend that thought and immerse myself in what truly felt like despair and isolation

Senti Thoughts (Unceasing)

she had plenty of memorable moments overall. at first i thought the writers were going Too hard on her haughty side, so much so that people were picking on her over it and even the fucking narrator had to jump in

(then i found out this was vita, sorry vita but you're on my list now)

i mean this is the same herrscher who made so many reasonable deductions in the previous chapter. the second time she met kevin she immediately surrendered knowing that she couldn't win. if this Sa was the quantum counterpart to the cocoon of finality then hos would certainly be more cautious, right?

but i think she was fairly confident in two things: the relative power level of Sa and her own natural adaptability to situations, such as the way she cleverly hid herself from Sa's omniscience:

this wasn't Finality that she was contending with, but a fellow rival in the domain of consciousness

Comparison to Vita

she and vita are alike in many ways: their clairvoyance, their eyes, their bird imagery, their selfishness, their love for freedom, their disdain for boredom, their interest in companionship, their struggles with free will, and even this weird tidbit:

i think the only remarkable difference they had was senti's activeness to vita's passiveness

tho, despite their similarities they don't have interesting interactions outside of the mindspace (WHICH BTW always fills me with nostalgia whenever they play that hos bgm)

Freedom, Mind and Body

freedom is one of the core themes of this arc (like, they really beat you in the head over it), but it's an extremely consistent trait for senti's character.

she is not a materialistic person; she would rather simulate the taste of tea in her mind than to experience it for herself. despite being a free spirit, she still has a Restraint that manifests as a mental shackle: an influence from memories that do not belong to her, which still affects her to this day. so who can blame her for always chasing freedom?

but the most interesting thing is this:

it would explain why she could taste the moonrock a long while ago when she didn't know it was rock salt. although, i guess it's largely unnecessary since she can just influence people's consciousness to look however she wants. but y'know, chekhov's gun and all....

also, the 72 transformations is another journey to the west reference!

The Status Quo

did you know senti is a character who hates stagnancy, but is stagnant herself?

she admitted to being stir-crazy in times of relative peace after the great eruption, she was seen pacing around in the country of iron sand while she couldn't do anything else, she'd rather beat up the problem head-on than to brew up a solution. indeed, she is a very active herrscher who likes to mire herself in chaos for the fun of it

ironically she gives away so much Therapy Guidance but she never addresses her own underlying issues, such as her wish for people to genuinely care about her. you can't fight that problem away, so she'd rather ignore it.

she couldn't even give that new body a real chance because it would unravel everything about her. she can't leave her comfort zone at all. even her fighting tactics haven't changed a bit (thanks mhy)

to use an analogy: she is like water. water is versatile and can easily turn into vapor or ice, just as how senti is adaptable and can literally change her physical state. but no matter what form water takes on, it is still molecular water in the end, just as how senti will always be senti

but what happens if water undergoes a chemical reaction and irreversibly changes?

even pseudo-death freaked her out. can you imagine what would happen if her authority diminished completely, or if she was restrained in a corporeal body, or if she was locked up with fuhua in a room forever-

Sentihua Crumbs

you can leave this post now if this isn't your thing

hmmmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmmmm also senti isn't beating the absent father allegations

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

the funny thing is that this arc was so fucking good that i want to go into the next one with ZERO expectations. like i'm not really sure if they can keep this momentum up and so far all of fuhua's appearances since the end of the taixuan arc were.... lackluster at best

but here's to hoping that fuhua and senti have genuinely meaningful interactions that can at least hold a candle to what the seeles got

[fancyfade]

NGL I do love pre 2011 batfam all having such different internal motivation around killing (and if they agree it's never OK, the why it is not OK is different for people).

Like Bruce has rules that he tries to follow. these are for many reasons, some to keep himself in check, some because if the entire point of Batman is that no other family is torn apart him killing people is literally defeating that point, it reads as generally ideology based. and I think that Bruce's character traits in the 70s or 80s where even if he doesn't kill people he isn't super distraught if they die is kind of interesting and it's a shame the writers dropped it. tho IG it could also be character development. (should note: he also has accidentally killed people but doesn't blame himself for it in some 80s comics like son of the demon)

Cass's rhetoric is based on her compassion and perfectionism and just. it's wrong period. no one deserves to die, and since she always has to be perfect, she always has to be able to save everyone even people who are trying to kill her. i feel like even if there was a case where someone had to kill someone else in self defense, cass would never view that as acceptable for herself because she should always be able to solve everything perfectly.

babs is sometimes vocally anti-killing people but i think it's fucking fascinating that she is also shown as being willing to potentially kill someone pretty often (at least pre new 52 when they removed 95 percent of her personality). not wanting to be faced with the prospect of being a victim again, she lures thinker into a trap with the intention of killing him. even after she's gotten more solid footing, she still is willing to kill to protect other people (she starts getting ready to snipe black mask when she thinks he will kill someone who was working for her in no man's land, before helena as batman shows up) and she is willing to authorize huntress to use lethal force to protect tim.

and tim's rhetoric for not killing people is very 'becuase bruce said so'. no seriously like (link) his rhetoric for a lot of what he does as robin is based on following The Rules ™. who made the rules? Bruce. and if he breaks the rules he feels unworthy. it would've been cool if the writers had acknowledged this way they wrote him so he could develop his own moral code, but I'm not sure they did in what I read. generally bruce was right because he's batman, so tim following bruce's rules for the most part is tim being right. no need to think of it further

dick is very anti-murder in ntt because heroes don't do that ™ and he seems less so in later comics. like he beats himself up a ton for nearly beating the joker to death but in later nightwing issues he's fine with people getting hit by ricochet when they are shooting at him and it is unclear if he maybe causes this guy to get hit by lightning, which kills him (but he had to do it to save a baby). i guess like with tomasi's run on nightwing and late new earth continuity, he just seems in general unconcerned with the whole debate and like. he doesn't use lethal force b/c that's not what you do, but he also doesn't let himself get too concerned about it, and when he was in NTT it was very much just. those are the rules (like tim)

damian's rhetoric starts out opposite from everyone's because killing your enemies is just what you do. like not even out of malice if writers are keeping anything consistent from the original LoS/LoA goal it should be to save people/the world. and he evolves from there. post R:SoB, fter his character arc, he seems to be one of the more anti-killing members of the batfam, probably behind cass, and a lot of it is based in the belief in people to change and his own feeling of guilt and empathizing with the people they fight because! Why was I any different from them? (he does not accept that he was a kid as a reason for why he should be held less responsible). and it's not just a case of 'not killing people b/c they are like me' he often tries to get them to reform. cass does this too.

and you have helena who is portrayed in batfam comics as like. having a super high body count but its fucking hilarious if you read her solo b/c she really doesn't. and she does kill 2 people in her solo, a lot of the time it seems to be based on even if they are a bad person and by her rhetoric they deserve to die, how she is feeling when it is going down. like she was going to rescue one of the guys responsible for killing her parents before he said something indicating he was intending on using her or something that triggered her (I can't remember the exact dialogue) which like what an IDIOT. and she also killed a serial killer, but i believe she felt personally responsible for the serial killer since she had inadvertently provided him with the means to escape from prison and failed to stop him before. i feel like even if she goes in a situation thinking "I am definitely going to kill this guy" she does not always do it, and frequently she can lean to leniency barring external circumstances. but she doesn't consider herself as someone who considers killing automatically wrong, even though there isn't a ton of things different from her situation than from dick or babs's, both of whom who have either been ready to kill people or been unconcerned if people they were fighting died or both.

and then obviously you have jason who is very pro-murder (i'm only going w/ pre flashpoint continuity b/c that's the one i've read more of), who does not care if people who aren't 100% deserving to die by his standards are killed by him (he kills drug dealers w/o giving them a chance to follow his rules to intimidate people or b/c he has no need of them after consolidating his power, he poisons people he can't control who he is poisoning in prison, causing many people to die -- both of these written by winick, generally regarded as the 'good' pre FP jason writer), because he is acting from a place of trauma and pain but believes that if he can control crime correctly he can 'fix' things -- but his reasoning is very based on his own personal experiences and not in compassion for others, or at least the people he allegedly is helping are very abstract and not real for him. and like. it's an interesting character trait because LOTS of batfam members' motives aren't really even tied into compassion when talking about not killing (dick's aren't, tim's aren't, babs's aren't), and some also have their personal experiences highly motivating them (babs, cass, damian).

i realize that steph is not on here but she is also like. really changing based on the writer (so do the others, but her evolution felt harder to track). i feel like pre batgirl-ing, she definitely feels some people deserve to die and might kill someone in anger if they reminded her of her dad and no one stopped her. batgirling, her writing is different, the writer wants to portray her as a little 'softer', more based on hope, but the writer does not actually show us how she changed, which is frustrating.

anyway i just think they're all so interesting and i love them

[red-elric]

honestly i dont think dave was ever that into terezi

i do think they dated tho. but like..... okay. before and during the game i think he was actually into jade (all the sick beats, the way hes sooo much more gentle w her than w john and rose, the way they flirt throughout the first half of the comic, DAVESPRITE). and i think lots of people--karkat, john, maybe even terezi herself--saw him talking to terezi so much and assumed he was into her because of it. but thats the thing: we dont really see that from him. when the topic comes up he either avoids the conversation or denies liking her completely. he IS aware that she likes him; admittedly, she's kind of using him as a rebound/distraction from karkat and vriska. i think he realizes that too, certainly towards the end of the game.

i dont think he's like..... under any delusions that he's the guy for her or that shes the girl from him, at any point, even when they date on the preretcon meteor. and i dont think she is either tbh (though if one of the two might convince themself of that, id see it from her more than from him). what he DOES get out of that relationship tho is just.... low expectations. same as what she gets from him; for her, there's no baggage, and he's waayyy less intense than karkat and vriska, which she likes. for him, its like.... john and rose and jade are all so NOSY. they ask him questions and expect answers from him and its getting harder and harder for him to pretend everythings okay. and later, on the meteor, karkat falls into that pattern for him too. but with TEREZI, sure, she'll ASK the hard hitting questions. her questions are more blunt than anyone elses. but she doesnt actually care about the answers; she gets him to think about it without putting any pressure on him to communicate, not really. i think every act four/five convo between dave and terezi, dave is constantly lying to her. and they both know it. but it's okay, because theyre THERE for the lowered expectations.

until, of course, the reality that terezi's kind of violent and crazy catches up with him, when she kills his alt self to explain god tiers. thats a little too much for him; he throws up a wall and spends the rest of the session hanging out with jade instead. and she runs off crying bc she feels bad for killing him, and also is upset that she fucked up, pushed him too far when she actually was really starting to like him. still, though, they make up on the meteor. they date, in a low pressure, casual kind of way--neither of them confirms to anyone else that they actually HAVE a thing, which kind of makes me think they never put a label on it. when dave's justifying leaving her when she starts her thing with gamzee, he's super defensive about it, acting like it doesnt bother him much ('why would it, he never really was dating her anyway'). and hes certainly not emotionally available after three years on the meteor, not the way he is post retcon when he spends that time with karkat instead. we also see preretcon terezi in a baaad bad place, feeling isolated and worthless and guilty; i think if she and dave had a more genuine relationship she might not have felt QUITE so insecure. not putting the onus on him alone of course; she had a lot going on.

i do think they get along. i think theyre good friends, actually. theyre just.... not that INTO each other, but they still feel bad knowing that about the other; it still sucks when they break up. i think they ended up ramping up each others insecurities on the meteor, even though they started from a place of just being safe and relaxed together. also, i think the fact that terezi was willing and able to kill her best friend scares the shit out of dave, even though he refuses to show it bc its 'unmanly' or whatever. idk. vibes

[vacantgodling]

oh we're putting your ocs in situations? EXCELLENT. i love them. let's do this

12 for hya (sorry hya ily) and then also 24 for piper! mayhaps :3c

HEWWOOOOO THANK YOU <3

12. Your character has to spend a whole day out in nature. What kind of terrain do they choose to go to, and what do they get up to?

PFFF RIP he really hates being out in... untamed nature. i say this because he doesn't inherently dislike nature, he just prefers if its in a well maintained garden or something like that not just like. out in the woods.

BUT assuming this question pertains to being out in the woods--so in that case, hya is finding somewhere relatively relaxed (ie: a clearing, by a brook/stream/river) and he's parking it. just absolutely doing fuck all. surprising everyone, he may either (1) sunbathe -- if he's by the water or (2) work out. i think he has worked out in secret by going into secluded sections in nature to do so, and while he doesn't Like working out and he doesn't Like being in the woods, it is something to do and so i can see him doing that until he was allowed to leave. but don't tell anyone i told u he works out even tho its obvious that he does LMAO. he likes to appear mysterious and effortless even though its clear he puts in effort. no one just knows when. or how. lmao.

24. Your character has been challenged to a duel by a skilled fighter. What incentive would convince them to accept? How would they prepare for the fight? Do you think they would win? (bonus: which other character do you think the challenger could be?)

welp it wouldn't be hard to convince her because piper NEVER turns down a fight. ever. every fight anyone ever challenges her to, she is absolutely doing it. its not really a 'moral code' or anything, she just likes fighting generally and sees every fight as a way to learn more and improve herself. she wouldn't really prepare for a fight (it is Slight cockiness, but also just because she's someone who just kinda. does stuff on the fly and the best way for her to learn since she's not really a formal per se training girly is to just let whatever happens happen and she'll adapt as shit comes).

whether or not pipes would win is based on an number of factors; she actually has a pretty healthy win lose streak. if its any person who relies more on tactics than brute strength its kind of a toss up because pipes is ABSOLUTELY a "keep beating them until they're a pulp" kind of fighter. so if you're crafty you can MAYBE get her to play into your hand a bit, but if you're just someone who needs time to conjure spells or something then it's the definition of "i won the wizard fight without knowing magic bc i just punched the guy." however if you're quick with magic or just fast in general, it might pose a problem for her. this being bc she wields an axe and tends to do wide, broad, heavy hitting attacks. which: not great if you get hit. but if you can dodge her attacks then you'll probably be able to best her. she isn't slow by any means, she can definitely lead people on by overextending to give them a false sense of security before having her own little "phase 2" of a battle to throw her opponent way off; but that kind of strategy is only something she learned from sparring with saith and keevan. so tl;dr, it can be a fair if challenging fight and tbh whatever experience someone has will determine if they win or lose. pipes is usually a good sport about it, unless you piss her off.

the people piper spars with the most are the aforementioned, keevan and saith; and this is because after she fails her guild exam the first time, she meets the two of them and they literally train her in a LOT of shit for like a year to help her pass the exam the second time (piper was an orphan and literally has no formal training in fucking ANYTHING). usually saith bc he is also keevan's protege, so saith was more the "practice dummy" for keevan's teachings. however, san and piper also fight (not spar. they are always fighting) a lot. and because they have such different fighting styles their battles get veryyyy uhhhhh inchresting lmao.

[ryverbind]

Faceless Fixation {Sal Fisher}: Choke On My D-- [3]

My night was filled with banter and laughter. If I'm being completely honest, it was even more amazing than I imagined it would be.

I grew up with the mindset of "do what makes the most money, not what you want to do." So actually enjoying my job for once feels different. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make enough with playing games online with my friends, but I'd be elated if I could because I genuinely enjoy it.

I don't want to go back to the way things were before.

Sally Face was quiet for most of the night, only really talking when directly spoken to. But what he didn't do— no matter what— was speak to me. Never addressed me. Never acknowledged me again. He ignored any attempts I made to bring him into our conversations (which didn't happen often, by the way) and he would even scoff at the sound of my voice.

But it didn't bother me all that much. Over the course of the night, I amassed thousands of new subscribers and followers between each one of my social media accounts. It's shocking to say the least, but very welcome. I'm not sure if those numbers will continue to grow or if this is just a spur of the moment excitement for The Faces fans, but I'm anxious to see where things go.

And Sally Face never called or texted "Lexi." Not once.

My guess is that I pissed him off enough to shut him up completely.

Larry, Ash, and Todd posted their recordings to Youtube. Sally hasn't yet, but going through comments has been quite interesting. I think, with the way people are enjoying me and Sally's arguing, I may be able to make something out of this.

One such thread of comments goes as so:

sllyfcefannn: Sally is a MENACE LMAO ashypoosbby: wtf is even happening sallyfacesallyfacee: he was quick with it too hahaaa larry4lyfe: Why is Sally such an asshole tho-- sxllyfxce28: nah they rlly dont need more people in The Faces. four is enough. bye violetviolence, go somewhere else. ashintheair: Honestly feel bad for VioletViolence. she's so sweet and she was so kind when she introduced herself and Sally was just such a dick. like imagine hearing this as a fan (which she is). so heartbreaking. toddsdaddy: agreed. he could've been a LOT more sensitive like??

I look through more comments beneath my own video, smiling the entire time as I get dressed for work. I'm still stuck wearing glasses, but I don't mind. I'm used to them for right now and there isn't much that could break my excitement of having people actually defend me and enjoy my video.

It's fortifying.

My shift is a short 8-12 that goes by even more quickly with the aid of tons of comments and likes giving me something to look forward to throughout the day.

As I'm walking home and enjoying the afternoon sun, Ash calls me.

With a startled flinch, I pull my phone from my pocket and quickly accept the call when I realize who it is. Why would she be calling?

"Y/n-- sorry, I guess I should call you Vi now, right?" Ash curses quietly then starts over again. "Vi! Hi, how are you, guess what!!!"

I smile, unable to stop a small giggle from slipping past my lips. Ash is so precious. She can't hide her true intentions-- she only called me to tell me about something interesting.

"I'm well, Ash. Most of that is thanks to you," I reply happily, ingesting the tempting sight of various stores around me. Downtown LA. "What's up?"

Ash practically squeals, a shuffling sound coming from the other end of the call. "Guess who's going to fucking Vegas!?"

My eyebrows raise and my heart skips a beat as I pause my steps. Ash heading to Vegas? That's ridiculously close. Even if it's still hours away, the thought of finally being near her again after all these years makes my heart race to the point that I feel a bit lightheaded. 

"What? Really?" I breathlessly ask, looking down at the bright cement beneath my feet. My stomach feels tight and a lump begins to form in my throat. I really want a chance to see Ash, though I'm not sure I have the money to take an unplanned trip to Las Vegas...

"YES!" She screams again. I can even hear her feet pittering around her room-- the thought of her running in excitement makes my elation grow to insane heights. I feel like running through the streets and screaming myself. "We'll be going to Vegas in three weeks! It's for an exclusive party at some club. I got you a ticket. I'll send it!"

My brows scrunch together. She got me into some VIP event? "How did you get a ticket for me? And who's we-- do you mean me and you?"

"Ooo, fun question!" Ash whispers morbidly. "The host of the event asked me about you first. Didn't know if you'd be into going somewhere so social! But they love your intro into the tech and gaming world. Especially the tension between you and Sal! That part was easy. I hardly had to say a word." She giggles proudly to herself whereas I wince. 

I don't want Sally and I to be some kind of spectacle to the world. I don't want people to know me as that random girl that argues with Sally Face because he just can't help but hate her guts. I want to be that nice girl that plays games. I want to be VioletViolence and I want to be known for it.

"And by 'we' I mean all of us! You, me, Larry, Todd, and Sal!"

I chew the inside of my cheek, feeling unwelcome tears sting my eyes as my heart drops into the acidic depths of my stomach. An involuntary sigh escapes my lips as I think of how to tell Ash that I'm absolutely not going to Vegas with The Faces. 

"That sounds... fun," I murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and tilting my head to the sky to stop my tears from falling. "I appreciate the invite, but I don't think I... have the funds to go." My claim isn't exactly a lie, but I'm almost thankful for it right now. I can't go to Las Vegas if Sally is going to be there.

We don't get along. The two of us are a ticking bomb-- except none of us know how long the countdown is before it blows. It's an issue. I don't want to reunite with my friends then immediately jump into arguments and fights with Sally. That would be so embarrassing for me and for Larry, Todd, and Ash. I do not want that.

I'm forgetting that the most important reason why I can't go to Vegas is because Sal knows the face behind VioletViolence. He would hate 'Lexi' if he were to find out that she and VioletViolence are one. I want him to like at least one thing about me even if he doesn't know that it's me.

Then again, why should I care if he dislikes every version of me? He's shown his distaste in various ways. He's been a complete ass, so why defend him? Why do I want him to like me?

"Y/n-- Vi," Ash corrects herself with a hiss, effectively pulling me from my thoughts. "I'll cover your trip. Just, please, come see us. The guys miss you."

"Not all of them." I laugh humorlessly, kicking a pebble at my feet.

"You know what I mean. Sally has no say in what happens anyway. We won't let him bother you-- just come!" Ash pleads. If she were with me right now, I just know she would be grabbing my hands and giving me her puppy dog eyes.

My teeth clamp down on my bottom lip with a force I can't control. I crack my knuckles, scuff my foot on the ground. I feel apprehensive-- I don't want to have to tell Ash the truth on why I don't want to go, but I know it's getting close to that.

"I don't want anyone to see my face, Ash. It's not a good idea for me to go..." I trail off, picking at the skin on my fingers and hoping that she'll at least accept that.

"We can figure something out, Vi. Just say yes and we'll handle everything else when the time comes, but I can promise you now that your identity will remain a secret. No one will know who you are." Ash tries to bargain, her soft and soothing voice nearly persuading me.

I squeeze my eyes shut. "I can't, Ash." Gosh, I don't want to upset her. "You know how I feel about you paying for me. Plus, there's really no way to hide myself from everyone. Think about it. And..." She'll fight me on everything else because she wants this so bad, so I'll throw the truth in. "I don't want to be around Sally. It would be bad for all of us. Deep down, you know that, too."

Ash sighs disappointedly, but I can tell she isn't going to push me anymore. "I understand. I'm sorry if I was crossing a line. I just... I really miss you. It's been nearly a decade. I really fucking wish Sal wasn't such an ass either. He's never acted that way before. He's normally a very soft, humble guy. I don't know what his problem is. I'm... I'm sorry, Y/n."

I don't know what his issue with me is, but I believe Ash now that I've gotten the chance to talk with Sal-- no ties to anyone, just the two of us. He didn't know a thing about me and because of that, I got to see a side of him I didn't expect. He was sweet, kind, and giving. I enjoyed that personality. He was open and happy to get to know me.

"I believe you. Maybe it's just me. No matter who I am, he just has something against me." I lick my dry lips, an iron taste on my tongue. I must have bitten my lip too hard. "And thank you for understanding. I do appreciate the invite and I miss you more than anything, but it's not quite time yet."

"That's okay, babe. I'll wait for you forever. And Sal shouldn't have anything against you. You do not deserve that, not with how incredibly precious you are." Ash perks up a bit, a smile in her voice.

Hearing her more upbeat tone makes my worrisome thoughts and racing heart calm down a bit. "Oh, well. People will hate. It's whatever."

"He'll come around eventually," Ash says softly. She's quiet for a moment then says, "Well, hey. We're getting online again tonight if you want to join."

I take a deep breath, looking up at the road ahead of me. There are people everywhere. It's a beautiful day. "Yea, that sounds good. I'll be free all afternoon."

"Great! Just check Discord every once in a while. We'll figure out a time and a game there! You gonna try Twitch tonight?" Ash asks.

"I think I will," I answer. It's time I start going where I'll get money-- if I get money. Doesn't hurt to put everything into swing though. "You think I have a chance with this, Ash?" I ask, my voice betraying my vulnerability. Truthfully, I'm afraid of trying and failing at this because I truly loved  playing with everyone last night.

"Oh, honey," Ash's voice is gentle and comforting like a nice, warm hug. One that I desperately wish I could get from her. "I know you've got this. You already have over eight thousand new subscribers on Twitch. That's a fantastic start. It took me a while to get there. Not to mention, people love you. I love you. Larry and Todd love each side of you."

A genuine smile pulls at my lips and I find myself fighting off tears again. Ash reminds me of my dad-- they are both just so easy to talk to. I feel like I can tell them anything. I'd admit every one of my darkest secrets to both of them and know I wouldn't be judged. To me, that's one of the truest, purest forms of love. 

All of my secrets except for the fact that I've already met Sally Face. 

"Thank you, Ash. It's all thanks to you. I love you so much and I can't wait to continue this journey with you and the guys," I say gratefully. And you know what, I can't be too angry about Sally because our arguments got me some traction, too. "Even Sally," I decide to add.

"That's the spirit!" Ash claps her hands, the sound reverberating through my ears. "I'll see you online tonight, 'kay?"

"See you then. I love you," I tell her, waiting for her to hang up the call with an unbeatable, winning smile on my face. I'm looking forward to getting home. 

"Je t'aime, mon couer!" Ash blows a kiss then ends the call, leaving me alone in the Los Angeles wilderness-- nothing I'm not already used to.

I feel happier than I did at the beginning of our call. Ash was reassuring and just as helpful as she always is. Even if I won't get to see her in Vegas, I'm happy knowing that she'll be close by.

Walking further down the street, I look between various stores and window-shop. There are tons of nice things. For example, a tiara and crystal store-- what a combination! 

The sun beats down on me in what would normally be an uncomfortable way, but today, it feels restoring. The ridiculous heat feels like a sign of a new start.

A glance to my right causes me to do a sudden double take though and I find myself distracted from any previous thoughts. 

That's something interesting. I walk closer to a shop, letting my eyes wander over all the goodies inside the window. Of all things, half of an answer sits before me. An answer that I never would have come up with on my own-- and yet, here it is. All and only because I realized that this could conceal me. Maybe not at this exact moment, but it has potential. And I want it.

Without a second thought, I pull my eyes away from the window and gaze at the door to the shop instead. I don't worry about funds, I don't think about how odd it'll be for me to keep this in my room-- unused. But I need it because this gives me an actual opportunity to go visit Ash, Larry, and Todd someday.

It's a mask store.

I walk in, listening to the door jingle behind me. The store is small, but very personal and unique. The walls are black and littered with various masks all with different styles, colors, and designs.

Beads and other decorations hang from the black ceiling, adding a bit of color to the void above. It's only a bit of decoration to aid the music in the room, but it works incredibly well.

The music is in a foreign language, but it seems to be a mix of pop and rock. I'm pretty into it.

I slowly walk further into the shop, gazing left and right, just trying to decide where to look first and doing my very best not to tap my foot to the beat of the music. Standing here looking overwhelmed makes me me feel awkward and out of place. Should I really be in here at all? It's probably better if I wait and think on this a bit.

My question is immediately answered when I feel a little nudge on my arm. I glance over my shoulder, feeling an urge to scoot to the side in case I'm blocking anyone, but a lady stands behind me with a smile on her face and a mask in her hand. 

I feel like I've just barely decided on doing this, like life is moving past me at double the speed. To see this lady standing before me with a beautiful mask in her hands feels like a sign, though.

"I had to grab it in when you walked in," she says. "I think this one will suit your face nicely."

The woman has salt and pepper hair in a loose, messy bun atop her head. Her skin is a gorgeous caramel shade and her face is littered with little freckles. And her eyes-- a welcoming, inebriating color that reminds me so much of smoky quartz. Absolutely stunning.

She's a bit shorter than me, too. But she seems to notice my hesitance, patting my arm with her free hand. "Why don't you take a look at it, honey?"

My mouth opens, my lips dry as I try to find the right words to stay. But my brain is empty, so I snap my mouth shut and gently take the mask from her instead. 

It seems like almost an exact replica of Phantom of the Opera's Red Death mask. The one from the live action movie with Gerard Butler. 

It would only cover from my forehead down to under my nose, but it's gorgeous. There are grooves in it to mimic the shape of a skull and it's a deep, dark red. 

My heart feels like it's just participated in a NASCAR race. This feels so right. It feels perfect-- like all the stars have aligned just for me in this moment. My stomach feels queasy in the best kind of way like the time I overate for my 21st birthday. I felt full and surrounded by love, though I knew better than to crack open a beer because I knew I'd throw up.

So I use that little experience to remind me that, yes, it feels right-- but I shouldn't push my luck. This will be my one thing for now, then I'll see what I can do in the future.

"Um," I murmur softly, tilting my head toward the woman with a hesitant smile. "Would you happen to have this one in purple?"

The woman leans toward me, her hands behind her back and her eyes narrowed as her smile grows into a sly grin. "I have four. What kind of purple?"

I beam at her, finding that maybe pushing my luck a bit more will be beneficial. It'll end some day, but this moment feels lucky enough to me.

The woman takes me to her counter then fishes out her four masks. They all have the same style, but their colors are much different than the red one in my hands.

There's a pastel one with neon green designs, a bright purple mask with glitter in different places, then a pink and purple tie dyed one.

But the mask that wins my vote is a dark purple-- so dark, it would look black in dim lighting-- with gold highlights in just the right places. It screams me-- screams VioletViolence. 

I run my fingers over each nook, cranny, and hill of the mask. I feel it out, falling deeper and deeper in love with the creation until I feel an unignorable yearning deep within my soul. I need this. Somehow, I feel like purchasing this mask will be life changing for me.

I take a deep breath, feeling my eyes widen as I get lost in the beauty of pure, undeniable art. "How much?" I ask softly.

"For you, fifty." Her voice is soft, but determined. So I look up, noting the content smile on her face, almost like she's proud of my decision.

"And..." I trail off, gulping as her smoky gaze meets mine. "How much would it be for someone else?"

"One twenty." Her reply is immediate and honest, her ashy eyes glinting in the dim lighting of the shop.

I definitely don't have the money to pay for a $120 mask. $50 is insanely reasonable, but I can't take such a discount just for... I don't know why I've even been given a discount.

Choking on air for a moment, I try to recover and bargain a bit more. "Ma'am, I can't take this for fifty. Let me at least give you a bit more than that."

The lady leans onto the counter separating us, lifting a hand and pointing at me. "See, I knew you were the type to say something like that. Honestly, I'd give it to you for free but I feel like that would bother you for eternity." She laughs, the raspy sound filling the air around us.

"You're right." I smile at her, placing the mask on the counter. "But seriously, I can't take something worth so much without paying the correct amount."

The woman tilts her head. "Alright, your choice. $50, or just take it. But you can't walk out of here without it."

I narrow my eyes, grinning slightly. I appreciate her kindness. I'm not sure why she's showing so much compassion toward me, but I can't complain. Maybe life just decided to give me a break today.

I pull a couple bills from my wallet and slide them over, making sure to put $10 into her tip can. I don't have much, but I can't give her nothing, especially when she's nice enough to give this to me for $50.

"If I'm ever famous," I say in a giggly voice. "I'll thank you for bringing my character to life."

The woman's smile brings life to my already enthusiastic body. "Then tell me your name so I can look for you, sweetheart. I know you'll get recognition one day."

I swallow thickly, feeling my heart swell with so much appreciation for this random woman who decided to be so kind to me. But what do I tell her? If I am famous one day, she can't know my real name because I won't go by my real name. But, she knows my face and I don't want her to associate that with VioletViolence.

I watch her for a few moments, debating in my head. She watches me patiently, the caring smile never leaving her lips.

So I cut off my thoughts and lean on the counter too. "Can you keep my face a secret if I tell you the name I go by?"

"I don't even remember what you look like," she says, waving a hand in front of her and closing her eyes.

I laugh, unable to stop myself from patting her hand affectionately. Each little bit of fear in my bones gets shredded into indecipherable pieces. Maybe this'll come back to bite me in the future, but I'm not concerned about it right now. Plus, what proof will she be able to show? I doubt she'll even remember my face. I take a glance at the empty store behind me before speaking. "I go by VioletViolence online," I say cheerily. "I'm friends with that group called The Faces."

The woman's brows furrow in shock. "Really? My son loves The Faces. He hasn't told me about you." She smiles again though, patting my hand back. "I'll definitely look out for you, love. I have the utmost faith in your abilities. May you achieve all that you long for."

With a little sweet pull at my heart strings, I squeeze her hand in mine. "Thank you, ma'am. That means the world to me." I pinch my lips together to contain the ugly crying that's bound to set in later. This visit was definitely a sign for me to keep moving forward.

This random lady with no name has managed to give me so much self-pride and hope. I'll make sure to thank her generously if and when I can.

She puts my mask in a safe, pristine, crisp box then bags it, handing it to me with a smile and well wishes before sending me on my way.

My walk home is even more vibrant and enjoyable than it was before, but it's unfortunately quick.

Dad isn't home when I walk into our apartment. Figures, though. Most of the time, he's out working late on projects or attending meetings. Hopefully he'll be able to come home tonight.

I set my bag down on the table and walk into the kitchen to find something to eat. It's almost two in the afternoon-- I've been fucking starving myself. So I decide to heat up some leftover pizza from lunch yesterday and pull my phone out of my pocket for the first time in an hour.

My phone is filled with Discord notifications. I'm going to have to turn that off. I'm a private person and so many names and tons of information slapping me in the face makes me feel uneasy.

But I notice my name brought up and the queasiness falls away for a moment.

LARBEARAWR: i bet vi is so hot LARBEARAWR: prove em right baby

T0DDLES12: Don't objectify her, Larry.

LARBEARAWR: im not objectifying her im just saying i KNOW shes gotta be hot.

SALLYFʌCɛ: she's not hot.

ASHYPOO &lt;3: Shut up, Sal!!

SALLYFʌCɛ: you need to get into the habit of using my stage name, ash, jeez.

LARBEARAWR: VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I roll my eyes, typing back a quick response with a smile pulling at my lips. I was going to ignore it, but Sally's claim made me change my mind. I'll be damned if he goes on thinking I'm not hot. Because I... well, am I hot?

I guess I'll let Larry be the judge of that.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: who said I'm not hot???

SALLYFʌCɛ: that'd be me. you got something to say?

VIOLETVIOLENCE: yup. you a bitch.

T0DDLES12: Laughing my ass off.

LARBEARAWR: fuck todd just use abbreviations damn that's weird LARBEARAWR: we wanna know ur laughing but not REALLY like be a normal fcking person

I giggle over Todd and Larry's banter. They're quite a duo. Larry is just so informal and then Todd... well, he's the exact opposite. How have they been able to get along for this long?

With a sigh, I chew on my nails and debate sending them a photo of myself. Not my face, of course, but something just to get everyone off my back for a bit. 

The last time I thought Sally was far away from me, he ended up being in front of my face. To say that having to serve him just once caused me to develop some paranoia is an understatement-- so if I'm going to do this, I'm going to change my clothes. I don't need anyone recognizing what I'm wearing.

With a sigh and shaky hands, I shut my phone off and take slow steps to my bedroom. The door feels like it weighs two tons-- though that's my own doing. Instead of just telling them that they don't need to know what I look like, I'm making things harder on myself because I feel the need to prove Sal wrong. But what if he's not wrong?

My brows furrow as I contradict myself-- that doesn't even matter because Sal-- Sally-- is wrong. I'm totally hot. I have to be.

I skip over to my closet with some pep in my step, rifling through shirts and immediately throwing Sally's merch to the ground. I might as well throw that away. 

Or...

A petty little smile pulls at my lips. I lift the hoodie and throw it over my shoulder. It's blue-- the color of his hair-- with SALLY FACE diagonally written across the front in an almost scratchy black font. 

I grab Larry's merch hoodie too-- the same one that Sal-- dammit, Sally-- wore the day he walked into my diner. Larry's hoodie is all black with some fun red designs running down the sleeves and his name-- also in red-- in big bubble letters on the front. His popular saying, "Zesty, Voluptuous Mommy Milkers" is on the back of the hoodie and that's part of the reason why I bought it in the first place.

Then, I just grab a plain pair of skinny black jeans and leather combat boots.

I set my phone against the drawers in my room and throw on Sally's hoodie first. I take one, singular picture of me, from the neck down, flicking off the camera. Then, I switch to Larry's hoodie and take one with a thumbs up, then another with my back towards the camera while pointing at his ridiculous catch phrase.

My hands shake and my mouth goes dry as I load the first photo in Sally's hoodie before pressing send. My finger hovers over the button, never touching the screen.

Honestly, I'm horrified. What is he going to say? What are they all going to say?

SALLYFʌCɛ: VioletViolence is a pussy-- clearly. she doesn't want us to see that she's actually some old guy preying on younger hotties. 

ASHYPOO &lt;3: Dude, stop being such a dick. Do you not remember that I've met Vi like... hundreds of times??

SALLYFʌCɛ: you sure this is actually her? what proof do you have, huh?

There's my cue. With a little guilty smile, I press send.

The chat is quiet for an uncomfortably long time. I'm still in Larry's hoodie and my anxiety is so bad that I lift the collar of it and pull the fabric over my face, sniffing the washing detergent Dad has used since I was a child. It's comforting and nostalgic for the moment.

I hear a notification so I glance over the edge of the hoodie, seeing a message from Todd.

T0DDLES12: See, she's not ugly. T0DDLES12: Wait, is that Sal's merchandise?

Yes, Todd. Yes, it is. Thank you a thousand times over for taking the bait. This is working out better than I thought it would and my nervousness is gone as quick as it came.

I put the other two photos of me in Larry's merch then press send, typing out:

VIOLETVIOLENCE: sorry, wrong pic! here's what i meant to send <3

My heart skips a beat and I push out a big breath, feeling heat crawl up my cheeks as I wait for someone else to type in the chat.

LARBEARAWR: hot as fuck. 10/10. BARK RUFF QUACK RIBBIT AWOOGA

I knew he'd like that. A giggle falls from my lips and I cradle my phone, reading over Larry's message repeatedly. He's being a bit extra and really exaggerating, but I appreciate it regardless.

ASHYPOO &lt;3: Just as pretty as I remember <333333 ASHYPOO <3: Send your tit!! ASHYPOO <3: Tat** hehehehe

Funny, but that's a no-go. The only person who's seen my tattoo is Dad-- but what's the issue in sending it? Why am I afraid? Because I'll be showing skin? It shouldn't be that big of a deal. Why am I insecure over it?

ASHYPOO &lt;3: I'd love to prove who you are to Sal-- but you don't have to send if you don't want to!

Ah, well, that's quite an incentive. It would prove who I am to Sally. He knows what I have as my tattoo, so it would be a clear indication that I'm not lying.

But I decide to joke with them a bit before finding out how to get a clear picture of the tattoo on my side.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: want bikini pics of me too ash??? what's next-- my titties??????? VIOLETVIOLENCE: oh sorry, i mean my zesty, voluptuous mommy milkers???????????

LARBEARAWR: please LARBEARAWR: god, please

ASHYPOO &lt;3: I mean... will you be upset if I agree with Lar?

T0DDLES12: I'm down for Vi's breasts. Can I get hands in the chat?

A true, genuine laugh reverberates through my room. It takes a moment for me to realize that I'm the one who did it-- fuck, I love my friends.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: one sec

I move to lift Larry's hoodie over my head. I'll have to move my shirt too since the tattoo is right on my bra line. Sometimes I regret getting it in such a hard to reach place.

My phone suddenly blows up with notifications and I nearly drop it onto the ground at my feet. I flinch back, looking down at my phone with furrowed brows and wide eyes.

LARBEARAWR: WUT???? LARBEARAWR: TITTIES??? MILKERS???? LARBEARAWR: B-B-B-BREASTS???? LARBEARAWR: UR SENDING THEM VI????

T0DDLES12: ^^^ Really? I thought we were only joking around. Let me prepare. I'll pull Neil in for this one.

ASHYPOO &lt;3: Woah, holy hell-- Vi's sweet, juicy titties? I've been waiting for this day my entire life.  ASHYPOO <3: Let me get my camera ready-- screenshots just won't do. This is going in a picture book. I'm making an album just for your titties. Dedicated to the one and only VioletViolence. 

Oh, fuck. Seems I didn't specify what I meant. 

VIOLETVIOLENCE: NO VIOLETVIOLENCE: sorry, i did NOT mean titties. just sending my tat.

LARBEARAWR: :( LARBEARAWR: ook but can we get titty pics 2??????

VIOLETVIOLENCE: maybe. VIOLETVIOLENCE: for you ;)

I love this banter with Larry-- he's such a funny guy. I enjoy talking with him, Todd, and Ash. And speaking of which, Sally's been pretty quiet.

LARBEARAWR: O_O LARBEARAWR: r we flirting????? is that what this is???? LARBEARAWR: omg vi *bites lip* r u trna smash? me????

I snicker, ignoring the messages and maneuvering my body and phone around to try and get a clear picture of my tattoo. Minutes pass though and I find myself growing frustrated over the fact that I cannot get a good picture of it for the life of me. No matter what.

I set my phone down again, getting some major deja vu over the fact that I have to do this again. My brain is on overdrive as I throw my worries to the wind and just lift my shirt and bra strap, a photo being taken as the timer counts down on my phone.

When I pull my phone close to my face to inspect the picture, I wince and shut the device off for a second. My "fuck it" moment was a little too much. There's a good bit of underboob in that photo and I don't think I can send it.

My phone vibrates with another notification, so I carefully glance back at it. I haven't even sent the photo and I feel embarrassed by it.

ASHYPOO &lt;3: Tit jokes aside, you really are beautiful, Vi. Inside and out! Never forget it, mi corazón <33333

That makes me warm up a bit and a smile works its way onto my lips again. Damn, Ash. She always knows what to say to make me feel better.

Suddenly, sending the photo doesn't feel as terrible to me. Sure, it still makes me nervous because I'm showing off so much skin, including skin that not a single person has ever seen-- aside from past boyfriends. It feels scary, but I know I can trust my friends and they'll even hype me up over it.

So I send another message before linking the photo.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: omg <3333 ash, don't talk to me in other languages i will melt over you. but seriously, thank you so much. i love you

I quickly send the photo before I can think too hard about it.

Anxious and debating on deleting it as soon as the picture goes through, I send more messages in a panic. I feel the need to pull at the roots of my hair, chew on my lips, crack my knuckles-- all of my nervous habits. My skin is burning hot and my legs won't stop moving.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: undertitties VIOLETVIOLENCE: fuck this scares me ngl VIOLETVIOLENCE: never sent half-titty pics before in my life VIOLETVIOLENCE: #tittypicvirgin

My friends are quick to reply now, filling my endlessly frantic brain with love.

LARBEARAWR: FUCK YES TITTIES LARBEARAWR: rlly tho, ur tat is super nice. titties too. hair is pretty and fluffy and i wanna run my fingers through it like ur a fairy r smthn

ASHYPOO &lt;3: GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL LOVE OF MY LIFE!!! ASHYPOO <3: Awe, my baby's first titty pic <3 look at you growing up!

T0DDLES12: Voluptuous breasts, indeed. I love the meaning behind your tattoo. I wonder what it means to the band.

What did I ever do to deserve such amazing friends? Never did I think I'd have anyone care for me and support me so dearly, yet here are three. Three people who have been here for me since we were kids. And they still haven't left my side.

Their sweet words make a beaming smile form on my face and it's the sole reason behind my achy cheeks, but it's so worth it.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: guys :,) you're so sweet. thank you for all of this

ASHYPOO &lt;3: Stahppp! There's no need to thank us, we're just telling the truth.

LARBEARAWR: word LARBEARAWR: where's sal btw? ur missing tits bro LARBEARAWR: r u wanking off to vi's pic in ur hoodie r smthng

Oh, shit. My eyes widen as I stare at Larry's message in shock. I can't believe he said that. But I'm also really happy that he did say it. This puts the heat on Sally and gives me something to cackle over.

Like he hasn't been gone for the past five or so minutes, Sally's username pops up in the chat.

SALLYFʌCɛ: eat shit, larry.

My cackling starts immediately. I thought it'd be something I'd do in the dead of night as I wait for sleep to take me, but it's come early. All because it is painfully obvious that Sally's message is guilty denial.

At least, I hope.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: it's okay to be honest, sally. masturbation is healthy!

His response is immediate again. He's been close to his phone.

SALLYFʌCɛ: i'm not even joking right now, i fucking hate you violetfucking whoever you are. 

VIOLETVIOLENCE: awe but i totally wore your hoodie so you'd fall in love with me :(

This feels so good. I wanted a reaction and I'm getting it. Sally's messages fill me with adrenaline. I can practically feel my blood rushing through my veins. I can smell the anger in his text. I can taste his rage from all the way across the United Sates. It feels so incredibly invigorating.

SALLYFʌCɛ: choke on my damn dick.

VIOLETVIOLENCE: is that a threat or a promise? i have a pretty resilient throat. no gagging.

I send a thumbs up and lose it on my bedroom floor. I roll onto my back, laughing so hard that tears spill from the corners of my eyes. I find that with every single day of being close to The Faces, I feel so much better. I feel too good even if Sally's a dick. I feel so damn good that I trick myself into thinking that I'd be okay without my antidepressants. That's dangerous.

The chat is silent and I feel like I'm on top of the world. That's a clear win for me.

SALLYFʌCɛ has left the channel.

Oh, well, shit. I didn't exactly mean for that to happen.

---------

A/N::::: heheheheheheh i hope this is an enjoyable chapter <333 

it was kinda hard to get out. im such a huge fan of scenes with sal so i have to remind myself to be patient with these boring parts! i kinda hate the middle of this chapter, but i hope you guys like it!

i've been busy between caring for my cat (he is well!), doing school work, battling tummy sickness, and my allergies. but i'm working my hardest to fulfill my promises to you guys! next is maybe today! 

when do you guys think sal and y/n will finally meet again since she isn't going to vegas? i'd love to hear your thoughts :3

as always, i love you all with my entire heart! sleep well/have a wonderful day! you complete my life <3333

[liyawritesss]

I don't know where this idea came from but I feel like so much could happen from this situation. (Could not for the life of me pick a fandom tho) But I just thought what if MHA or the HQ boys decided that they wanted to join the table at the family gatherings playing cards or dominos. Like they're used to watching their s/o from afar and know they wanna be part of the action. Your choice on the fandom because I can't decide. It's going to be interesting either way. 😂

ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴡ/ ᴀɴ ꜱ/ᴏ ᴡʜᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏꜱ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇꜱ

Pairing: Phoenix, Neon, Raze, Jett x Black!GN!Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Synopsis: What happens when your Valorant S/O wants in on the card game action?

Warnings: mild cursing

A/N: While I could not think of anything for HQ or MHA…Valorant came to mind and boy oh boy did the ideas start spilling!

Phoenix

Phoenix is always down for a challenge, no matter the shape or form. Except chess, as we see he kind of avoids Cypher’s chess games. So when it comes to his knowledge that you’re a self proclaimed expert in card games, he of course wants to see if its true.

Despite being beat in round after round, game after game, Phoenix insists that he’s close to beating you. He is a somewhat observant fellow, so with each game, you become more and more serious, keeping the Fire Radiant Agent on his toes.

He does get very close to beating you, but you manage to shut it down real quick. He’s now constantly following you around base asking for another round, to prove his King status. But beware, he could be watching you play with others to take note on your tactics…

Neon

Neon actually introduces you to a card game first, one she learned on the streets of the Philippines when she was younger. She’s a master at it, and takes pride in the fact that she beats you the first few rounds as she’s teaching you how to play.

However, when she notices that you are gradually getting better, it gets harder and harder to tease you as she tries to keep up. And then you beat her at her own game, and a pout makes its way on her lips, because how were you able to do that so fast?

You give her a kiss on the corner of her lips, remarking about how you’re just that good, but she’s not having any of it. She won’t follow you around base like Phoenix, but any opportunity she gets, she’s gonna ask you to teach her a card game you know, because it’s only fair and square that she beat you in one of your own games.

Raze

Raze is an expert card player herself, so when she meets someone who poses a challenge, she’s all for it. She may be a firecracker, but she’s also got an observant eye on her as well.

This makes your matches all the more intense. Raze, who is normally chill and laid back and ready to pounce, becomes quiet and analytical, choosing her moves carefully.

Most of your matches end in ties, because both of you are just that good, and acknowledge that both of you are really good card game players. Your matches gain so much popularity around base, even Brimstone comes to watch you two play amongst the other agents.

Jett

You’re actually playing a card game with Cypher, one that you grew up playing, and Jett is sitting in and watching. She’s mesmerized by how seamlessly you two play and eventually, once you and Cypher are done, asks you to teach her a couple of moves.

Jett’s a bit dumbfounded by how to play at first, muttering curses in Korean under her breath while she’s trying to get the hang of things. It’s cute, with her cheeks all puffed out and her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

You give it to her, she has you in a corner a couple of times, but you still beat her, and while she sighs in frustration, you tell her that she just has to keep practicing. To which she takes that as a challenge, determined to take you down a peg.

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