#the way my eyes opened when I saw in text his name...like I'm just content starved like that

[tamyonmyonmyon]

I am losing my mind, I didn't know Gawain appeared on the Paladin unlocking quest!! and not only that!! the quest has some very obvious similitudes with his story!!

[lvl109]

sylus is a physical presence of his unwavering support. words of encouragement disguised within layers of toying and sharp wit. unwavering eye contact and his undivided attention. a hand at your lower back in public. preference of voice notes and long calls instead of text because he likes hearing your tone lilt and change when you talk–and it's not the same over text, thank you very much.

zayne is calls during his break—or at least, the ones he takes when your designated ringtone wafts from his pocket while doing paperwork. wiping lingering traces of sugar from your lips. quiet walks at night with little to no disturbances. knowing when you need things before you say you do. staying up late sharing soft conversations about your day but sitting in content silence if needed. will switch plates with you if your order isn't up to standard without a second thought.

caleb is boyish charm and steadfast in his declarations of content. routine that feels like warm memories. tightening jars so that you'll call for his help and preening when you thank him with a kiss to his cheek. matching bracelets, outfits, even shoes, down to the laces and custom ordered detailing of your names on the sides. blatant domesticity in the form of cheesy callings of honey, i'm home! that you can only shake your head at with barely hidden fondness.

xavier is random pictures sent to your messages, like this reminded me of u attached to a picture of a heart shaped rock he saw on patrol. lazy days off spent cuddling in front of a long forgotten movie on mute. constantly touching while doing mundane tasks like holding hands while grocery shopping or playing footsie while eating dinner. stargazing and naming stars after random things you ate for dinner, knowing the only star he'd ever want close and in present with him is the one next to him.

rafayel keeps a photo of you in his wallet and looks at it for muse when you're not around the way a wife would of her lover off at war. his album is full of candids titled under silly album names like 2cute2handle or the reason i breathe <3. sends a good morning text even if he sleeps in late and expects one back even if it's four in the afternoon. midday strolls around the city turn into spontaneous dates if there's an attraction or new exhibit that just opened. would you love me if i turned into a blobfish and had to live on the surface just to be with you? and other silly questions are common with him. you think it's a bit dramatic but you love him all the same. (and yes, you would.)

join my taglist here.

[alohajix]

𝐍𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬… 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?

Description: it was supposed to be one night-just sex, no feelings, no consequences. But the second Harry touched me, I knew I was lying. He's my brother's best friend. Off-limits. Dangerous. But he fucks me like he owns me, whispers things I'm not supposed to hear, and looks at me like I'm already his. We said no strings. But we're tangled in every way that matters.

Warnings: +18 only. explicit sex, unprotected sex, brother's best friend, possessiveness, praise, jealousy, choking, roughness, creampie, soft dom!Harry, emotional tension, and getting very caught.

Word count: TBK.

author note: because of you, No Strings… Right? is now a mini-series. I was only going to write 3 parts, but your love for their story changed everything. I don’t know how far it’ll go, but I’ll keep writing as long as it feels right. Part 3 is for you. Thank you for every message, every bit of love. I mean it—I love you. 🫶🏻

Read Part One & Part Two beforehand, babes.

*****

PART 3 — I Can’t Lose You.

Description: he wasn’t supposed to matter. But the way he touches me now… slow, careful, like I’m more than just a distraction—I know I’ve already fallen. And when he says he loves me? I feel it. Everywhere. We said no feelings. No strings. But now I’m begging him to stay. And he’s begging me to believe it’s real.

Warnings: +18 only. explicit sexual content, strong language, soft dom!Harry, praise kink, possessiveness, unprotected sex, creampie, emotional tension and whispered “I love you”s.

Word count: 8,530.

*****

I closed the window after he left. Locked it. Stood there for a second, hands resting on the cool glass. Then I let out a laugh—quiet, breathless, wrecked. Not because anything was funny. But because the panic was finally catching up.

Because I realized how deep I was in. And how far gone I already was.

The room still smelled like him. Warm skin. Faint cologne. That lazy musk he always carried with him after hours of being too close, too tangled in me. The sheets were still pulled halfway off the bed.

My legs still ached. My chest still felt tight. And I couldn’t stop touching the corner of my mouth—where he’d kissed me last. Soft. Intentional. Like he didn’t want to leave.

I should’ve stopped this a long time ago. Should’ve drawn the line the second it started blurring. But now? Now I wasn’t even sure where the line had been in the first place.

I paced the room a little, aimless. Restless. Like if I moved enough, maybe I could shake it off. But I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face hovering over mine. The way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t watching. The way he said my name—low, broken, like it meant something.

And worse? The way I wanted it to.

I didn’t go back to bed. I couldn’t. Instead, I threw on one of his hoodies, curled up on the couch, and stared at my phone like it held answers I wasn’t brave enough to ask for.

The last message from him was hours old. Nothing since. Which made sense. We didn’t text much outside of planning the next time we’d pretend this was still casual. Still meaningless. Still sex.

But something about tonight… It didn’t feel meaningless. It felt like a door had opened. And no matter how scared I was—I wasn’t sure I wanted to close it.

I pulled the hoodie tighter around me, knees tucked up to my chest. I tried to tell myself it was just the sex. That I was only feeling this way because he was so good at touching me. Kissing me. Saying the exact right thing in the exact wrong moment. But deep down, I knew better. This wasn’t just good sex. It hadn’t been for a while. This was something else. And I was either going to run from it. Or finally admit that I didn’t want to.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

It was past midnight. The house was quiet. Still. Except for the hum in my chest that hadn’t gone away since the second he left.

I told myself not to look at my phone. That if I was going to get hurt, it wouldn’t be because I waited up for a message that wasn’t coming. But the second it buzzed, I didn’t even hesitate.

HARRY:

you up?

My heart tripped. It was barely a whisper of a text. Three words. Casual. Soft. But I felt it. The way you feel something when you know it’s not just a habit. Not just late-night routine. Not just sex.

He wasn’t texting me because he was bored. He was texting me because something was different now. And he knew I felt it too.

I stared at the screen. Didn’t answer. Not because I didn’t want to. But because answering made it real. We’d built something on rules. Boundaries. Quiet understanding that none of this would go beyond the bedroom. But the second I said anything now… the second I gave him that piece of myself… There’d be no going back.

HARRY:

can’t sleep.

not without you.

My stomach dropped. It was ridiculous, how two lines could undo me. But they did. Because I’d been lying to myself for weeks. Telling myself I could handle it. That I was in control. And here I was—already undone.

Another message came through.

HARRY:

you feel it too, don’t you?

I read it twice. Three times. Then I set the phone down in my lap and let out a shaky breath. Yes, I did. I felt it in the way he touched me. In the way he didn’t look at anyone else when we were at the same party. In the way I hated how quiet everything felt after he was gone. I didn’t just feel it. I was drowning in it.

I picked up my phone again and typed slowly.

ME:

yeah.

come back.

There was no delay. I’d barely sent the message before I heard the front door creak open and click shut behind him. Soft. Controlled. Like he thought being quiet might make it less intense. But it didn’t. Nothing could.

I was already on my feet by the time he came into view. Hoodie hanging open, cheeks flushed, curls a mess, eyes fixed on mine like I was the answer to a question he didn’t know he’d asked until tonight.

“You came back,” I whispered.

“I never wanted to leave.” He didn’t kiss me right away. He just stepped into my space, pressed his forehead to mine, and let out a shaky breath. “If I stayed earlier,” he murmured, “I would’ve told you I loved you with nothing but my hands.”

I swallowed hard, heat blooming low in my stomach. “Why didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d let me.”

“I would’ve.”

His lips brushed mine. “Then let me now.”

The kiss wasn’t soft. It was careful—but starved. Like he’d been waiting to be allowed to touch me like this. Like his hands had rules before tonight, and now every one of them had been erased.

He walked me backward without breaking the kiss—each step slow, purposeful, until my legs hit the edge of the bed. I dropped, and he followed, climbing over me like I was the only thing in the room worth worshipping.

“I missed your skin,” he breathed against my neck. “Missed this mouth. Missed how you sound when I make you come.”

I arched under him, body already aching. He took his time with my clothes—lifting the hoodie over my head, tugging my sleep shorts down inch by inch, lips brushing exposed skin like a promise.

“You always this wet for me?”

“Only for you.”

His growl vibrated between my legs before his tongue touched me. He didn’t rush it. Tongue slow. Movements teasing. He licked up the length of my pussy, then dragged it down again. Over and over. Like he had all night to taste me—and he planned to. My thighs trembled. I tangled my fingers in his hair, gasping when he sucked my clit into his mouth.

“Fuck,” I whimpered. “Don’t stop.” He didn’t. He couldn’t.

He stayed there—devouring me like I belonged to him. Like his entire purpose was to make me fall apart. When he pushed two fingers inside, curling them just right, my hips bucked off the bed.

“Jesus—Harry—”

“That’s it,” he said, voice low and wrecked. “Let me feel you fall apart. Want this pussy to pulse around my tongue while I’m tasting it.”

I cried out, back arching, thighs shaking. The orgasm hit fast—shattering and hot, ripping through me while his mouth stayed right there, drinking in every second of it.

He didn’t give me time to recover. Just climbed up my body, grabbed my face in both hands, and kissed me with my taste still on his lips.

“You’re unreal,” he whispered. “I’ve never—fuck, I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you.”

“Then take me.”

“Not yet,” he growled. “You’re getting more.”

He sat back on his heels, stripped off his hoodie and sweatpants, cock already hard and leaking, flushed at the tip. I reached for it. He caught my wrist.

“Lie back,” he said. “Hands above your head.” I obeyed. He hovered over me, dragging the tip of his cock through my folds, smearing slick over my clit. “You want it slow?” I nodded. “You want me to fuck you like I mean it?”

“Yes.”

“You want to come on this cock and know I’m not leaving when we’re done?”

“Harry—” He pushed in. All the way. Deep. Full.

We both moaned—loud, helpless. And then he stayed there. His strokes were long and steady at first. His hands gripped my hips, fingers bruising as he pressed me into the mattress with every roll of his body.

“God, I love how you take me,” he murmured. “So tight. So fucking warm.” He leaned in and kissed me slow, never breaking rhythm. “You’re not just sex to me,” he whispered against my lips. “You never were.”

I cupped his face, blinking through the heat in my eyes. “Then show me.”

He lifted one of my legs onto his shoulder and started moving harder. Deeper. Rougher. Filthy and focused, all while keeping his eyes locked on mine.

I reached down to touch myself—he caught my wrist again.

“No,” he growled. “I’m gonna make you come with just me.”

And he did. He fucked me through another orgasm until I was shaking beneath him, moaning, begging, fingers clawing at his shoulders. Then he pulled out, flipped me onto my stomach, and dragged my hips up into the air.

“You look so good like this,” he said, lining up behind me. “Want me to fill you again, baby?”

“Yes—please—need it—”

He slid in slow, both of us groaning at how soaked I still was. The pace built fast this time—loud, fast, messy. The slap of skin on skin filled the room as he leaned forward, gripping my shoulders.

“Mine,” he panted. “All fucking mine.”

“Yours,” I gasped. “I’m yours.”

He reached under, rubbed my clit, and I screamed through my third orgasm. He followed with a broken moan, spilling inside me again, hips jerking, breath gone.

We collapsed onto the bed in a tangled heap. Sweaty. Shaking. Full of each other in every way. And then he whispered it—again. “I love you.” And this time, I didn’t just say it back. I meant it.

Neither of us spoke right away. Our breathing was still uneven. My pulse was still high. My body felt heavy, used, adored—and his hands hadn’t left me once. Harry rolled onto his side, pulled me with him, and tucked me right against his chest like he needed to keep me there to believe it had really happened. His fingers traced slow, steady lines down my spine.

“You okay?” he asked quietly, lips brushing the top of my head.

I nodded against his chest. “More than.”

“You were shaking.”

“You made me come three times.”

He let out a low chuckle. “Fair point.”

But his hands didn’t stop. One slid gently over the curve of my hip, then down the back of my thigh, his touch featherlight. The other stayed at my waist, warm and grounding. And the longer he touched me like that—without expectation, without tension—the more I melted into him.

“You’re quiet,” he said after a minute, softer now.

I blinked slowly. “Just… coming back to earth.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Take your time.”

I tilted my face up to him. “You really meant all of it?”

“Every word.”

“Even the part about me being yours?”

His jaw tensed—just a little—and then his eyes locked on mine.

“Especially that part.” He pressed his palm to the center of my chest. “This too. All of it.”

He helped me to the bathroom without saying much, still touching me like I might float away if he let go. He cleaned me up carefully—warm cloth, slow hands, murmured apologies every time I winced.

“Too much?” he asked gently.

“Not even close,” I whispered. He kissed my knee.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

Back in bed, we curled into each other again. No urgency. No weight. Just comfort.

“I don’t know what this is now,” I admitted, fingers tracing the edge of his wrist.

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’s whatever you want it to be.”

“And if I want more?”

His voice was steady. “Then I’ll give you more.” His thumb brushed over my lips. “You’re mine now,” he said, not possessively—but reverently. Like it was the first time it didn’t scare him to say it out loud. And for the first time… it didn’t scare me to hear it.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

I woke up to the smell of coffee. Not the sound of the machine, or footsteps, or cupboards. Just the smell—drifting in from the kitchen, pulling me out of sleep slow and gentle like a hand tracing my spine.

The sun was filtering through the window. The bed was still warm beside me, the sheets rumpled and soft. My legs ached in that perfect way. The kind of ache that reminded me exactly who I belonged to last night. Who touched me like I was everything. Who said he loved me and didn’t take it back when the lights came on.

I smiled to myself and rolled over, hugging the pillow that still smelled like him. A moment later, I heard footsteps. Then the door opened and there he was—barefoot, shirtless, coffee mug in one hand and the tiniest, most ridiculous smirk on his face.

“Morning, trouble.”

“Morning, wreckage.”

He laughed as he handed me the mug. “You okay?”

I sat up, blanket pooling around my waist, and took a sip. “I’m… good.”

He tilted his head. “That’s it?”

“I’m very good.”

His eyes dropped to my chest, then back to my mouth. “I know.”

He slid back into bed, pulled the mug from my hands, set it aside, and pulled me into his lap with no resistance. We just sat there for a minute—me curled into his chest, his hand rubbing soft circles into my back. It felt… easy. Like waking up together was something we’d always done. Like this—no lies, no rules, no pretending—wasn’t terrifying anymore.

“I don’t want to go back to how it was,” I said quietly, fingers tracing his collarbone.

“You won’t have to.”

“You promise?”

His hand lifted to cup my jaw, thumb brushing my cheek. “You’re mine now. And I’m yours.”

I leaned into him, nose brushing his. “Good.” He kissed me. Slow. Warm. Barely there. And when we pulled apart, I whispered, “So… what do we call this now?”

He grinned. “Anything you want.”

*****

where can I get a Harry? 🥺

@cloudyluun @gem1712 @dipmeinhoneyh @idk199o @harrrrystylesslut @sparxx27 @likea-silhouette @fangirl509east @mads3502 @run-for-the-hills @twinklaei @belgianblondee

[navybrat817]

Indulgence

Pairing: Dom!Bucky Barnes x Sub!Female Reader Summary: When Bucky calls, you go to him. Word Count: Over 5.7k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, D/s elements, bondage, aftercare, established arrangement, insecurities, pet names, longing, possessive behavior, world building, mix of canon and non-canon, slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm very excited for this new AU, lovelies! There's a deep bond between these two, but we know the road to love isn't always easy. ❤️Beta read by the amazing @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. And thanks to @targaryenvampireslayer for listening to me ramble about this part. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You had only been asleep for an hour when your phone went off, your eyes barely open as you reached for the device and saw the familiar name appear. “Bucky?” You answered drowsily.

“Hey, angel,” he said roughly, the pet name bringing a sleepy smile to your face. It sounded like he hadn't gotten much sleep either. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s okay. I have tomorrow off,” you said, a bit more alert as you sat up. “Are you at your apartment?”

“Yeah, I got back a bit ago,” he replied, swearing under his breath. “It’s really late. I just…”

“Need me,” you finished for him, stretching your back as you stood up. If he wanted to tell you he made it home safely from his latest assignment, he would've sent you a text. You knew by now that a call meant he had to see you in person. “Give me a few minutes?”

“You sure? I understand if you’d rather go back to bed.”

“I’m not going to get any sleep until I know you will, too,” you said. It would drive you crazy. “I want to come over. Okay?”

You wondered if the call dropped since you didn't hear anything on the other end. “Okay. I’ll send a car,” he said. He never let you pay for a ride yourself. “Thank you,” he added so softly you almost missed it.

“You don't need to thank me,” you assured him, though you appreciated hearing it. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll be waiting,” he promised, your heart skipping a beat before he hung up.

You brushed your teeth again before you changed out of your pajamas. The outfit didn't exactly matter. If it had, he would’ve told you what you wear. It wouldn't stay on long anyway. You sensed that this was a night for him to simply blow off some steam or release anything still pent up from his assignment.

You were more than happy to help.

“On my way.” You messaged him a few minutes later as you went out to the car.

You politely greeted the driver before gazing out the window. If anyone had told you months ago that you’d be sleeping with the former Winter Soldier, you would’ve laughed at them for saying something so crazy. You never expected to meet the man, let alone connect with him. That was your life now though. You were sleeping with Bucky Barnes.

But it wasn't that cut and dry.

“I’ll be outside.” He sent back.

You smiled to yourself as you thought about Bucky, the man searching for himself again. After years of enduring horrific pain and having no control over his actions, he felt lost once he was free. In his eyes, he would never be able to right all the wrongs of the atrocities he was forced to commit, but making amends for his past was a start. It wasn't enough though to heal the cracks from within. It couldn't stop him from plunging into the deep abyss of his mind where it once felt whole.

He had to find a way to feel semi-normal again. He needed to do something good for someone else outside of his heroic duties. And he had to do so in an environment where he could express himself openly, honestly, and authentically with a person he could trust.

That was where you came into the picture.

If Bucky called, no matter what time of day and you were available, you went to his place in a car he paid for. You stayed until you were both satisfied. A more crude way to think of it was that you helped him fuck out his frustrations and gave him a means to inflict pleasure on someone instead of hurt. It was a routine you were used to by now.

“You wanna be my angel?”

You may be his angel, but you weren't his girlfriend. He wasn't in a place to have a typical relationship. You weren't just a fuck buddy either. You were his submissive of sorts, along with his confidant and a way for him to find release and some sense of normalcy.

While he sometimes fucked you like a whore, he never once treated you like one. He cared for your well-being and checked in on you the way a boyfriend would. He kept his place stocked with your favorite snacks. You didn't sleep with anyone else and neither did he. You looked out for each other.

Unlike your last boyfriend.

As far as arrangements went, you could do much worse. There were rules set in place. Bucky was honest about his needs and helped you heal your wounds from the failure of your previous relationship. But the more time you spent with him, the more you wanted to be with him.

Was it a recipe for disaster?

The drive seemed faster than usual because before you knew it the car stopped in front of Bucky’s apartment building. Your pulse quickened when you saw the brunette standing by the door, donned in his usual leather jacket. Even from a short distance, he looked massive and heat bloomed in your core as you knew what was to come. He moved to the curb with more grace than a man his size should have, his hard blue eyes set on you through the glass before he opened the door.

His gaze practically set your heart on fire and it went full ablaze when he tenderly smiled. He was stunningly beautiful even in the dark of night. It almost hurt to look back at him.

You had it bad.

“Hey,” he said, offering you his gloved hand to help you out. You hardly ever saw him out without his vibranium hand covered. “It’s good to see you.”

“Hey,” you smiled softly, giving the driver a quick thanks before you got out. “You, too.”

Bucky's large hand moved to the small of your back as he gently led you toward the building and opened the door. He didn't like to linger outside for too long. Neither of you spoke as he guided you to his apartment on the first floor and you didn't push him to make small talk. It was a delicate arrangement and some nights didn't call for filler.

Still, you tried to get a read on his emotions. There was a stiffness to his stance, but he didn't appear upset or angry. You also didn’t spot any obvious injuries.

“Were you hurt?” You asked as he took his keys out. He was only gone for a couple of days, but you knew how dangerous the missions were.

He turned and stared at you, not at all surprised by your question since you always asked. “No, I didn’t get hurt,” he assured you, reaching up to scratch at the stubble on his chin. “But I can't exactly talk about it either. I’m sorry.”

You nodded in understanding. It was information you weren't privy to and you doubted he called tonight to talk about it anyway. He peeled back layers of himself, yet there was so much underneath that you didn't know about. You cared for him regardless.

“Bucky, you don't have to apologize for that,” you reminded him.

“I just feel bad. You can tell me about your work, but I can't always talk about mine,” he said, looking both ways before he poked his head into his apartment.

“My job isn’t as ‘exciting’ as yours,” you teased before he let you in.

Bucky had a nice place. The partially exposed brick walls paired well with the hardwood floors. Tasteful, but not extravagant. The thick curtains in the living room matched the drapes in his bedroom. Since he occasionally slept on the floor by the oversized chair, it helped to block out the sun. He didn't have much as far as decor, but he did have a piece of art that his best friend, Steve, drew hung up in the hall.

He also had a bowl that you made on the console to hold his keys, which he promptly set them in.

It meant something that he even let you into his apartment when others close to him had never been invited.

“Need anything to drink?” He asked, slipping his jacket and glove off.

He had an empty glass waiting on the kitchen island in case you did. While you indulged in a drink now and then, he wouldn't allow you to have too many. He refused to have sex with you if you were inebriated. Said it took consent away and you wouldn't be alert enough to use a safeword if necessary.

He wouldn't budge on that rule.

“No, thanks,” you answered, gazing at him.

His T-shirt strained against his biceps, one flesh and one vibranium. You could still smell his cologne from the small distance across the room, amber and cedarwood. Warm, comforting, dominating. All the things he was to you.

Not the monster he sometimes believed himself to be.

You eyed him as he poured himself a shot of whiskey, the need to soothe him coming forward when you caught a distant look in his eyes. He didn't even make a move to down his drink as he set his hands on the counter and stared off. Maybe he couldn't give you the details about what happened, but you could take care of him.

Because as much as he sometimes had to have control over you, both of you had power in your relationship.

“Bucky?” You gently called out, pulling him from his trance. “You can talk to me, even if you have to keep some things to yourself.”

His shoulders dropped as he sighed. “Three months.”

“I'm sorry?”

“Three months since we started this,” he answered.

You realized he was right when you remembered the date. It felt longer yet still brand new. “Yeah. Three great months,” you smiled.

A knot formed in your stomach when he didn't smile back. “And you still feel safe with me?” He asked, gripping the counter so hard you thought it might crumble in his hands. “You really trust that I won’t hurt you?”

Your smile slipped, the questions like a punch to the gut as you walked toward him. You stopped a foot in front of him to give him some breathing room as he made eye contact. Where had that come from? What happened to make him question that?

“Of course, I feel safe. Not only do I feel safe with you and trust you, I know that you won't hurt me. You will always take care of me,” you said with fierce determination, yet with a vulnerability you couldn't hide. “If I didn't believe that, I wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t submit to you.”

You told him the same thing the day you two agreed on this arrangement. He wasn't your boyfriend, but he wasn't like your ex. He wouldn't just throw you away without a second thought or ignore your needs. You also had faith in him that he wouldn't harm you.

And as much as you trusted him, he trusted you that much more. If he didn't, he wouldn't have called you in the first place. That meant he still trusted himself around you.

He looked away and asked above a whisper, “Do you still think I'm a good man?”

“Yes,” you replied without hesitation, your heart aching when his jaw clenched. “Bucky, look at me, please.”

He slowly made eye contact with you, a storm swirling in his stare.

“You are a good man,” you stated, needing to reach the part of him that believed it. “And it doesn't matter how many times you ask me that, my answer isn't going to change. Ever.”

Bucky was silent, his breathing the only sound in the space. You were worried that you said the wrong thing before he pushed himself away from the counter. Instead of moving back when he approached, you stood firm, ready to brace the storm. You sometimes felt like a mouse confronted by a lion when he got close, but it sent a thrill through you. Because you meant what you said.

You trusted him and he made you feel safe.

“I just had to hear you say it,” he whispered as he cupped your face.

A fire lit within you as Bucky captured your mouth with his. There was care and tenderness beneath the hunger and you found yourself clinging to his arms as you kissed him back. No one before him had ever kissed you with such desire, such passion. It had you chasing his lips when he pulled away too soon.

“Now go to my room, get undressed, and kneel on the bed facing the headboard,” he ordered, his voice low and allowing the words to sink in just in case you had any objections. Because he was done talking and ready to play.

So were you.

It took you a moment to answer since you had to bite back a whine. “Yes, Sir,” you whispered, feeling his eyes on you as you walked to his bedroom.

You focused on keeping your breathing even as you shed your clothes, taking a moment to fold them before you set them on the chair in the corner. The only time you left your garments on the floor was if Bucky put them there or had you put on a show for him. It was his space and you respected it.

He hadn't told you how long to wait for him, but your heart thumped as you knelt on the queen sized bed. You didn’t see any toys as you glanced around, but there was water, snacks, wipes, and the soft blanket you loved waiting on the nightstand. It took a moment for you to spot that there was a blindfold and scarf on top of the blanket. Your womb clenched in anticipation, an exquisite feeling knowing your patience and obedience would reward you.

Bucky walked through the door a minute later and shut it behind him. The energy shifted completely, both of you ready for each other. As much as you wanted to lift your gaze and look behind you, you kept your eyes downcast as he approached the bed. He cupped your cheek once he was close enough and forced your eyes to meet his.

“My beautiful angel,” he whispered, brushing his thumb along your skin as you glowed from the praise. He reached for the scarf and ran his fingers across the silk as he glanced at you. “As much as I hate to cover those beautiful eyes of yours and restrain you, I want you to concentrate on my touch tonight. Just let me have you.”

A shiver rolled down your spine as you nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“Hands behind your back,” he said, moving to secure them once you did so. The silk was soft against your skin, almost as soft as the kiss to your shoulder. After years of being restrained, you knew he felt guilty at times taking your control away. The difference was you gave yourself to him willingly. “Tell me your safewords.”

“Green is good. Yellow to pause,” you stated, testing the scarf. He never bound you too tight, but it was enough that you couldn’t slip your wrists free. “Red to stop."

“Good girl,” he praised, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You turned your head a fraction so he could slot his lips properly over yours. Gentle, yet hot enough to melt your insides. “My good girl.”

He maneuvered you so you were in the middle of the bed and spread your knees a bit further apart. He joined you on his knees, still fully clothed. Casting your gaze down again, you bit your lip when you saw the prominent bulge in his pants. A hand came up to grasp your chin before you could stare for too long and lifted your head. If you were still wearing your panties, they would’ve dampened from his darkened gaze.

“So beautiful and all mine tonight,” he said.

“I’m yours, Sir,” you whispered, the word “always” unspoken.

“And I know you were staring,” he smirked, his fingers working the button and zipper of his jeans. His impressive cock sprang free once he pushed his underwear and pants down far enough and you wished you could lean down and swirl your tongue around the large head. “Greedy angel. Just desperate to have my cock in you.”

“Yes, Sir. Please,” you begged.

He made a show of lifting the blindfold before he slipped it over your head, your body tensing up when your world went dark. Sight was one of the senses you relied on the most. It helped you absorb most of the world around you. And now it was temporarily gone. It felt like your heart would burst from your chest as you breathed a bit heavier. But Bucky was there, softly touching your face until you relaxed.

“Breathe, angel. I’ve got you,” he whispered, drawing a gasp from you when his lips touched yours. His hands mapped your body, brushing along your breasts down to your thighs. You felt him everywhere. “Color?”

“Green,” you whispered as a hand moved around your back and forced you to arch. He was careful not to hurt your arms. “Please.”

Your head fell back with a moan as his lips closed around your nipple. You could practically feel that he looked up at you as he gently suckled. A wave of arousal crashed through you as he pinched the other. No one had ever lavished your body with such attention the way Bucky did.

“I love seeing you like this,” he murmured against the swell of your breast. “Helpless. Trembling. Needy.”

You didn't mean to let such a wanton moan escape, but he made you feel needed. He made you feel wanted. It was a beautiful thing to surrender to him.

“And I love that I'm the one you trust to take care of you.”

“I trust you with my life, Sir,” you moaned.

And your heart, even though he had the power to break it.

Your chest suddenly felt colder when Bucky pulled his mouth and hand away and you shook from the loss of his heat. His vibranium hand touched your torso to remind you he was close when he shifted closer to you on the bed. You gasped when he dragged his hand down and you were helpless to do anything but feel when it slid between your legs.

“You're doing so well for me,” he said, his teeth grazing your neck as his fingers spread your sopping folds. He teased you, letting you soak his metal fingers as you mewled. He lightly bit you again when he replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding along your slit, but not pushing inside you just yet. “You want me inside you? You need me to fuck you, don't you? Tell me.”

Your cheeks flamed as you whined. “I need you to fuck me, Sir,” you said, trying to widen your thighs to take him in more.

“I will. I'm going to give you everything you need,” he rumbled, gripping your hips with strong and capable hands to keep you still. “And you’re going to let me ruin your pretty little pussy with my cock.”

You panted with want at his possessiveness. Filthy words were something you never thought you’d hear from someone associated with The Avengers and they kicked your body into overdrive. You ached to have him split you open. “Ruin me, Sir.”

In one swift move he lifted you, pulled you into his lap, and buried himself to the hilt. Your mouth fell open as you let out a cry, every inch of his cock stretching and making itself at home in your welcoming cunt. You couldn't brace yourself on his shoulders with your hands behind your back. You couldn't see the ecstasy in his eyes as he let you adjust to his size, but you didn't have to. Not with the way he dug his fingers in and groaned against your shoulder.

He took you to heaven when he was inside you.

“Color,” he said against your skin, thrusting his hips up once.

“Green,” you moaned, reminding yourself to stay still when you wanted him to move. “So green.”

“Good girl,” he whispered, gently kissing up to your ear. “Keep being good while I bounce you up and down on my cock.”

Your eyes fluttered behind the blindfold as he pulled you up and slammed you back down on his cock. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and your heart beat frantically in your chest. It was difficult to string thoughts together, but they all went back to him and how good he made you feel. How he made you feel beautiful.

Flaws and all.

“It’s like your cunt was made for me, angel. Practically crying all over my cock,” his voice was smoky as sounds of pleasure tumbling from your lips. The next moan was softer when he slid a hand up to your neck, resting it there as the other kept your hips flush against his. “You deserve to feel good because you are good. So fucking good.”

Your lower lip trembled as a sob worked its way to your throat, “Thank you, Sir,” you whimpered before he squeezed.

“And I. Deserve. You.” He punctuated each word with a deep thrust. You didn’t have to see his face to know the fury that surfaced. “My angel. Mine.”

It overwhelmed you as he bounced you in his lap, sinking you down onto him again and again. His thrusts were almost unforgiving, but the hand on your throat didn’t tighten anymore. He couldn’t hurt you. He wouldn’t hurt you.

“I’m your angel, Sir,” you moaned as he reduced you to a needy wet mess.

“I wanna tear you apart,” he growled against your lips. “And put you back together so you still feel me when you fucking breathe.”

“Tear me apart, Sir,” you gasped, a plea for him to use you more. Your thighs hit his as he thrust up and all you could do was take it. He touched places inside you no one else could reach, physically and emotionally, and you never wanted it to stop. “Please!”

“Tell me you need me to come inside you and I’ll let you come,” he ordered, the hand on your neck squeezing a fraction. “Say it.”

“Come inside me, Sir,” you begged.

“Bucky,” he breathed against your lips. “Say. My. Name.”

Your next breath was shaky. He always had you call him “Sir” on nights like this. Why was this different?

Your orgasm began to crest, but you couldn’t let go until you gave him what he wanted. And he’d give you what you needed. “Come inside me, Bucky,” you exhaled. “Please.”

He swiped his thumb along your pulse with a deep groan, his cock still driving up into you. “I will after you come,” he promised, his tongue sliding past your parted lips and pulling away all too quickly. “C’mon, angel. Come for me. Show me you’re mine.”

The sob you tampered down earlier resuraced, wrenched from your throat as you came. Your release continued, practically leaking around his cock as tears slid out beneath the blindfold. You were beyond rational thought as pleasure spiraled through you, vaguely aware that he thrust through it to chase his own end.

“Good. Fucking. Girl.” He grunted, pulsing hotly inside you as he filled you up.

Both of you panted as you continued to drift from euphoria, your heart still beating wildly. You were warm, but your body shivered as he lifted you up. Your combined release slid from your aching cunt once he slipped free. You floated and wanted him to catch you, but you couldn’t put your arms around him.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered when you let out a whimper. He made quick work of untying your wrists so he could lay you down properly and wipe away the tears still on your cheeks. “I’m going to take the blindfold off.”

Your eyes stayed shut for a moment when Bucky removed it, but you cracked them open when you wanted to see him. Your vision slowly cleared as you blinked a few times, your mind still floating as he came into view. He called you an angel, but he was the one who had a halo around his head at the moment. A gorgeous angel who had unrightfully had his wings taken away. He smiled like he wanted to eat you alive, but his touch was nothing short of tender when he brought his hand to your face.

“So fucking beautiful. You did so well for me. Fuck, I just wanna clean you with my tongue and fill you up all over again,” he praised as you clenched around nothing and whined. As hot as it sounded, you needed a bit of rest after that. “Not tonight,” he smiled, keeping a hand on you as he grabbed a wipe.

A reason he had everything close by was because you craved his touch after sex. If he ever got too far away, you whimpered and reached for him. It made you feel needy, but he assured you that he needed to keep touching you just as badly.

It just wasn’t fair that he looked so composed.

Bucky continued to shower you with soft praise as he cleaned you up. It didn’t take him long before he wrapped the soft blanket around you, trembles moved through your entire body as he put his arms around you, too. He took aftercare very seriously. It was a way for you to feel cared for and nurtured while allowing your body and brain to return back to normal. He never wanted you to experience negativity or sadness after any sort of session, especially an intense one.

You were aware that he moved you closer in his arms and rested his cheek against the top of your head, but you weren't ready to speak yet. It always took you a minute to come back to yourself and he was never one to rush or push you. If relaxing in his embrace was what it took to return to the world, he was more than content to keep you in his arms.

At least, that was what he told you.

You opened your eyes after a few minutes. Your heartbeat was back to a steady rhythm, but you still weren't ready to move yet. You were warm and safe. Bucky was there to take care of you. But what about him?

Had you taken care of him?

Bucky had a faint smile on his face when you lifted your head, his shoulders relaxed and eyes soft. Like he was at ease with everything around him. “Welcome back, angel,” he whispered, peppering your face with light kisses.

“Hey,” you smiled tiredly, your voice a little hoarse as you brought a hand to his hair, happy that you could touch him again. Judging by the way his eyes slipped shut for a moment before he opened them, he missed your touch, too.

“You okay?”

“I am and so are you. You're okay.” It wasn't a question. Whatever haunted him earlier was gone.

For now.

He didn't tear his gaze away as he reached for the water behind him, which you gratefully accepted as he put it to your lips. “You amaze me, you know? You just came back to yourself, but you're talking about me being okay.”

“Isn’t that why you call me?” You asked with a small frown, taking another large sip. “To help you?”

His brows furrowed. “It’s not just about me. This is about you, too.”

You took one more drink before you could say something stupid. Yes, this was about you, too. How he didn't push too far. How he’d hold you after sex and talk with you because those things were important to you. How he made you feel cherished and wanted for a short while.

You just didn't want to admit that he was a constant in your mind. But would it be so wrong if you did? Even if he’d never date you, didn't he have a right to know how you felt?

Communication was key and you would have to eventually tell him if those feelings persisted.

“It’s about both of us and I just want you to be okay,” is what you said because it was the truth.

He set the water aside and cupped your cheek, his calloused hand a little cool, but nice. You almost wished you could hide from his knowing eyes, but he didn’t press you for more. “I am now,” he said, swallowing a little. “I just couldn't let you see me tonight.”

Worry filled his eyes like he may have upset you, but you shook your head. You had seen his scars, but he was never obligated to show you his body. “You're letting me see you now,” you said, scooting closer as he brought your wrist to his mouth to kiss it.

You thought about how the evening played out. How he asked if you thought he was a good man. How he demanded that you speak his name. And how he said he deserved you. Either something happened while he was gone or someone said or did something to get to him. You wished you knew what it was since he didn’t expand on what had been eating away at him before.

“And before you ask, you didn't hurt me,” you told him, knowing the question was coming. You appreciated that he cared enough to check.

He pressed a kiss to your temple. “Good because I’d never stop hating myself if I did,” he admitted, looking at the ceiling for a moment. “You don't deserve that kind of pain.”

Your heart swelled, not letting any past hurt enter your mind. He made you believe that you deserved better than what you had. It was a good feeling.

“Neither do you. And that's a reason why safewords exist. Both of us can use them,” you reminded him. Like aftercare, he took the words seriously. He listened to you. And if he ever got overwhelmed, he had every right to stop it the same way you did. “So no self-hate tonight.”

He huffed in mock annoyance. “Yes, ma’am. And speaking of self-hate,” he teased, tilting his head to look your way. “I really don’t want to go to therapy tomorrow.”

There was a forced calmness in his blue eyes as you assessed him. “You still don’t like your therapist,” you stated.

One of the conditions of his pardon was that he had to go to therapy. It was meant to help him process his thoughts and past experiences in order to work through them. Though he didn’t tell you what went on in his sessions as it was none of your business, he didn’t keep it a secret from you that the doctor was far from his favorite person.

You wondered if Bucky told her about you.

“What’s there to like?” He asked.

You smiled a little, knowing better than to poke the bear and say she probably wasn't that bad. “Well, being able to speak to someone who provides non-judgemental and empathetic support is one thing.”

“That’s why I like talking to you,” he said, the affection in his voice making your heart skip a beat.

“Oh,” you said, not sure what else to say.

Moments like that made you think he cared. No, that wasn’t right. You knew he cared about you. But hearing things like that made you feel like there was hope for more and he wasn’t ready for that.

Hope was both a wonderful and dangerous thing.

“Have you met anyone else?” He asked suddenly, moving his hand to your back.

It was a question Bucky asked every time he had you over. He said from the start if there was another man in your life that you’d rather be with, someone who could offer you more, he’d step aside. There wasn't anyone else. You didn't want anyone else.

And while it was admirable that he would walk away if that ever changed, your heart ached at the thought that he’d easily let you go. Because at the end of the day he wasn't ready for a relationship. Not yet.

Even if he was, who said he wanted one with you?

“No, I haven't met anyone,” you said, feeling the warm breath of his exhale against your skin as his hand moved up and down your back. It relaxed you more and you found yourself fighting a yawn. “Have you?”

“No,” he chuckled. The crinkles by his eyes made him look carefree. “Not since you saved me.”

You shut your eyes, afraid that tears would well up if you looked at him. “I didn't save you. All I did was buy you a coffee one afternoon,” you whispered dismissively.

That day changed your life.

“I’m going to let that slide since you're sleepy, but I’m going to remind you when you're wide awake that you did a lot more than that,” he spoke. He held you a little tighter when you stayed quiet. You were more tired than you thought. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

You let your eyes shut at his command. “Thank you for taking care of me, Bucky.”

“Thank you for taking a chance on me.”

There was something else unspoken in the air, but a tender kiss to your forehead stopped you from reading too deeply into it.

In the morning, he’d send you back to your place after he made you breakfast. He’d text you later to make sure you were okay. He would continue to check in and you would do your best not to fall for him more. Because one day he wouldn't need you anymore. You didn't know when that day would come, but tonight you could indulge in the fantasy that Bucky wanted you to be his girl.

Permanently.

I just want these two happy and together. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[fallingformatt]

“IM NOT THAT SCARY AFTER ALL” C.S.

dealer Chris x fem!reader

summary: what happens when you go to the beach with your dealer in the middle of the night?

warnings: smut! 18+ unprotected sex, mentions weed

word count: 1.9k

a/n: heyy everyone my name is lily and this is my first fic, please don’t be hard on me. Leave suggestions or requests! Hope you enjoy

➽───────────────❥

I kept tossing and turning in my bed, I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me it was so hot in my room that even only wearing my oversized t-shirt that barely covers my ass and a thong I was still too hot to fall asleep. I picked up my phone to check the time. "Fuck" I said under my breath as the phone screen read 2:37 AM "Well there is only one thing that can help me," I said to myself as I swiftly hopped out of my bed, rushing to my vanity. I pulled out my pink 'makeup bag' which really wasn't a makeup bag but a special bag that holds weed for when I want to smoke and that's the beauty of it, my parents would never think to look in my makeup bag that is placed on my vanity, hiding in plain sight.

I pull on the zipper revealing the contents of the bag: some papers a lighter and a small tin container "Bingo" I say to myself getting excited to smoke. I opened the container and was left shocked. It was empty not even a little left for me to smoke. I sighed as I knew what my two options were. Option one go back to bed and try to fall asleep in this hell-like heat or option two message my dealer who I'm scared of. I try to see him as rarely as possible. Chris is so hot but also hella scary and always seems cold and distant so I always kept it short and always buy enough to last me at least a month. I weighed out my options and decided that there was no way that I was falling asleep without smoking so I grabbed my phone.

"hey r u still up?" I texted him and waited for an answer hoping he was still up so I could get my weed.

"yeah i'm still up, need something ma?" he answered. He always called me ma or princess which I found weird but never dared to say anything about it.

"can I buy my usual? im all out" I text right back happy that he's still awake

"sure ma gonna be there in five" he answers

I quickly go out of my room and check if my parents are asleep. I go down the stairs and quickly sneak out of the backdoor as I usually do since it's the furthest from my parents room and they wouldn't hear the door opening or closing. I go around my house and he's already at my front door waiting in his car. I quickly get in the car. "hey ma I like what ur wearing" he says smirking. I look down and realize I forgot to put on shorts or pants and now I'm sitting in his car bare ass on the seat as my shirt raised up a bit while sitting down. "well I rushed outside and it's really hot outside" I said quietly. "Do you have my weed?" I continued right after. "Of course I do ma, here," he said and pushed a baggie with weed in my hand. My eyes lit up seeing my goods and a smile creeps on my face as I reach out my hand with cash "Damn, you're so excited over some weed. You know it's not good to do drugs right?" he says in a cold tone taking my money. "Well, this weed is the only way I'm falling asleep in this weather. Besides you should want people to buy weed it's how you earn your money" I say back. "Do you wanna go somewhere cooler?" Chris asks. " Well I don't know, my parents are asleep" I answer. "Exactly they won't even know you left the house," he says smirking again. "You've got a point, sure let's go," I say.

This interaction was a bit different than all other ones. He didn't seem as cold as usual but maybe I'm just imagining things.

We have been driving for at least 10 minutes now and I'm sitting on my side both my legs horizontally on the car seat as I look through the window listening to the music that's quietly playing in the car. "Where are we going? You never told me" I ask as I turn my head. I saw Chris looking at my ass as it was fully visible in the position I'm sitting in. "We're almost there" his eyes quickly shot to the road as he answered. "Were you looking at my ass?" I say changing my sitting position. "Well ur the one who's not wearing any pants" he scoffs coldly. "I didn't know we would go somewhere" I quickly answer. "We're here," Chris says and I look outside the window. We are at the beach, the moon is shining and the waves look so calming. We both get out of the car and head to the shore.

We find a good spot and sit down. We are the only ones here no people in sight, just me and him. Well if I think about it he could kill me and no one would ever know, the thought of that made me uneasy. "You good ma?" he asks "Yeah I'm fine" I answer looking at the pretty waves as the warm breeze hits my skin. "This feels so nice," I say quietly. "It does, do you want to smoke?" he asks holding a joint that he had just rolled in between his fingers "You bet I do" I answer and he puts the joint in between my lips and lights it. I take a puff and let the smoke out. We finish the joint and sit for a bit.

I look at Chris and notice his beautiful features in the moonlight, my gaze moving from his hair to his lips, as my eyes travel down further my eyes fall to his crotch and I feel my panties dampen. He turns his head looking at me and his clear blue eyes with a hint of red surrounding them meet mine. "what's up ma?" he asks not breaking the eye contact. "You know, you're not as scary as I thought," I say looking down at my fingers and playing with the sand beneath me. "Why do you think I'm scary, do you think I'm going to kill you or something" he shoots back a question. "That thought did cross my mind if I'm being honest. You're always so cold towards me" I say and he chuckles at my confession. "I would never kill such a pretty lady. I always love seeing you ma" he says and a smile appears on my face.

"You wanna go for a swim?" he asks "I don't have a swimsuit" I answer "Neither do I, let's go anyway, cmon ma don't be shy," Chris says looking at me shooting me a quick smirk before standing up and pulling down his shorts and his shirt running towards the waves. I get up and pull off my t-shirt throwing it into the sand and covering my bare chest with my hands as I have no bra on.

I start running towards the ocean as well, seeing Chris already in the water fully swimming. I swim to him and he looks at me staring me down, till he glances at my boobs and licks his lips. "Kiss me," he demands with a lustful voice. He takes my hand and pulls me closer until our bodies meet pushing his lips onto mine unexpectedly. His tongue exploring my mouth before breaking the kiss. He moves to kissing my neck sucking on it leaving a mark. I tilt my head back and let out a quiet moan as he hits my sweet spot. "Oh you like that don't you ma," he says and moves to kiss my collarbones leaving a trail of kisses till he gets to my breasts nibbling on my nipple. "Oh fuck" I moan. "Tell me what you want, and I'm gonna give it to you princess," Chris says in a deep voice. "I want you" I manage to say. He grabs my hand and starts running towards the shore as I'm following him. We get to the shore where our clothes are.

I lay down and he crawls in between my legs his chain dangling above my face his eyes full of lust staring at my lips before smashing his lips on mine once again as we share a passionate kiss. He pulls down my thong not breaking the kiss, doing the same for his boxers. As we deepen the kiss his fingers move up and down my heat before slamming them into me. I throw my head back as a loud moan leaves my lips. "Oh fuuck Chris" I moan out loud as he continues to thrust his fingers into me at a rapid pace. "Tell me what you want," Chris says as his voice grows deep "I-I nee-" I try to say but can't finish the sentence. Chris suddenly pulls his fingers out of me and my eyes shoot open in frustration "Full sentences princess. Tell me what you want" he says his eyes darkening with arousal "I need- I need you in me Chris" I manage to squeeze out as my hips buck up yarning for him. His thumb presses against my lips before I open my mouth sucking on it. Without any warning, he pushes deeply into me causing me to let out a scream-like moan, tears forming in my eyes. Without letting me adjust he starts pounding into me his tip kissing my g-spot "Oh my god Chris you're so big" I moan as I throw my head back. He pounds deeply into me keeping the same rhythm hitting my g-spot with every thrust "Look at me" he says but I keep my eyes shut. "I said look at me princess," his voice getting deeper than before as he grabbed my jaw, and our eyes met. "Look at you, taking me so good princess," he says as he pushes his lips on mine my hand travels to his wet hair lightly pulling it and he places his hand on my thigh, our bodies sticking to each other like glue.

He continues to thrust deep and hard as my moans slip against his lips, my hands traveling to his back. He breaks the kiss and throws his head back, rolling his eyes and letting out an animalistic growl I feel my climax coming. "I- I- I'm close don't stop please don't stop Chris" I cry out as I arch my back, digging my nails into his back leaving scratch marks, bucking up my hips to feel him even deeper. Chris lets out a moan as his thrusts become more aggressive and faster. I dig my nails into the sand holding on to anything I can "I'm so close I'm gonna cum" I moan out as I feel my walls tightening around his cock. Chris hearing that thrusts in me harder than ever making me almost scream out in pleasure. His breathing became hitched as he trusted a few more times before cumming letting out a loud moan, leading to the knot in my stomach to unravel, I let out a pornographic-like moan as my orgasm took over me.

As we both came down from our highs, he pulled his dick out of me kissing me before laying in the sand next to me. He turned his head to look at me and said "Come here ma" and pulled me closer as I laid my head on his chest. We watched as the sun started to come up "See I'm not so scary after all" Chris said with a chuckle. "We should do this again" he continued and I nodded my head in agreement. "Common let's get you home," he said and we got dressed heading for his car.

[riki-dazed]

When camping with your best friend (with benefits) doesn't go to plan

NSFW smut · block & don't read if you're uncomfortable · reader gives a bj, cursing · wc: 1139 · requested

Your phone vibrated in your hands, you shifted your gaze down to it to find a text from your best friend.

come to my tent

there's no one here atm

A small smile found its way across your lips, you wasted no time in hurrying out of your tent and down to where Riki's was pitched.

Some of the boys invited you and other mutual friends to go on a short camping trip with them out in the woods, you were ecstatic over the fact it meant getting to spend more time with your favourite person, Riki.

"Took you long enough," The said boy teased as you unzipped the opening to his tent and threw yourself inside, while simultaneously shushing him by placing your finger across your lips. You made sure to close the entry back up.

"The others left to go on a walk, my baby, there's no one here," He spoke, his deep voice was tainted by firey excitement, yet it was still hushed and cautious. The tone of his voice was music to your ears.

The pet name caused you to erupt into quiet giggles as you crawled over to him on all fours before settling on his lap, straddling his thighs. The both of you shared a swift look, nothing but soft smiles filled the tight, dark space.

You wasted no time in closing the few inches that were left between the two of you. Your stomach erupted into an array of butterflies as you engulfed his soft, plump lips with your own. Your lips danced against one another's. Goodness you loved the feeling of his lips, no one else's could compare or even come close to how good his pillowy ones felt against you. You could've stayed making out with him like that all night.

His touchy hands only added to your butterflies.

Riki's smile broke the kiss for a split moment as he breathlessly spoke against your swollen, red tinted lips, "What if I invited you over to talk? You're so needy,"

He pulled your bottom lip between his teeth, eliciting a quiet, high-pitched moan from your throat that drove him wild. He loved the noises you'd make, even more so considering he was the only one who got to hear those heavenly sounds of yours.

You could feel him growing harder and harder under his sweat pants, and although the feeling of him against your clothed core was making you feel lightheaded, you successfully fought the urge to grind down onto him. You had a different plan in mind for your best friend that evening.

Riki watched you carefully with a raised eyebrow as you climbed off him, a tender look settled in his eyes. You kneeled beside his large body as he laid back and propped himself up on his elbows. Feeling more playful than usual, you began to fiddle with the waistband of his sweat pants, salivating when you noticed he only had sweats on.

"Baby, please," Riki almost whined, which only turned you on even more, "Please do something,"

You smiled to yourself as you watched his twitching bulge, proud of how hard you've managed to get him by barely even doing anything. A string of hushed curses escaped his lips as you palmed him through the gray fabric.

"..I'm already close," Riki groaned, sounding like he was disappointed. You chuckled in reply before you ever so slightly pulled his sweat pants down, finally revealing all of him. 

You placed a few soft pecks on the sensitive skin, followed by some kitten licks. After licking up the shaft, you proceeded to take the entirety of his length into your warm, more than welcoming mouth. You sigh in content. He sucks in a breath, the vibrations only adding to his dizziness. He could've sworn he saw stars.

"Oh my fuck, y/n," His hips bucked upwards mere seconds later, his member perfectly hitting the back of your throat, "J-just like that,"

After a few minutes of Riki squirming underneath you, you decided to give your mouth a quick break as you continued the job with your hands. You knew exactly how he liked it best.. and boy did you do your best for him. Riki's head fell backwards at the sight of your small hands wrapped around him, sticky and wet. His chest tightened with every kiss you left on his tip.

"And to think you called me the needy one," You chuckled quietly as you played with him against your tongue,

"I will never not be needy for you," His eyes shut, his eyebrows twisted in pleasure. He was in such a state of pure bliss he could barely choke out coherent sentences.

"Y/n.. I-I'm gonna cum,"

What did I do to deserve having him like this for me?

"It's okay, let go for me," You reassured Riki before taking him back inside. The wet warmth made his abs tense up for what might've been the fiftieth time underneath his thin, white tee.

"F-fuck.. Fuck," One of his hands found its way into your hair, gripping the strands tightly between his fingers. He helped guide your head as it bobbed on him.

As Riki coated the inside of your mouth, you made sure to swallow every last sticky drop while maintaining eye contact with him. He looked so prettily fucked out, the sight had you squeezing your thighs together.

Mustering up all the energy he had left within himself, Riki sat up and went straight back for your lips, his grip in your hair not budging. He could taste himself on your tongue.

"Are y'all done yet..?"

Your jaw fell open at the sound of the familiar voice that came from outside the tent.. That was Jay.

You stared at Riki, your eyes wide. He stared back at you just as shocked as his hand fell from your hair, he was still trying to catch his breath. The panting boy immediately pulled his sweats up, his lips pursed, holding back a laugh.

"Did they hear us?" You mouthed, he shrugged in reply.

Your hand flew to your face, covering your mouth as you tried to not make any further noises. Riki's eyes focused on the entry to the tent.

"I'm already close~" What sounded like Jake's mocking voice was heard next, you gasped quietly.

"How long have yous been out there!?" Riki shouted, your body fell forwards across his as your cheeks flushed red. His long arms wrapped around your figure, you couldn't help but laugh against his torso.

"We didn't want to interrupt.. Now stop sucking dick and come out here to eat proper food," Another one of the boys added which had caused Riki to quietly start laughing with you.

You spent the rest of that night hiding your face as the boys continued to crack jokes non-stop.

...

Copyright © 2024 riki-dazed. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED | Do NOT edit, copy, translate or repost any of my work without permission.

[femd-archive]

hiiii!! omg i love ur work sm it just scratches an itch i’ve had forever, i’ve always loved the dom reader + sub male character relationship and ur work is perfect! if it’s okay could i be 🌺 anon if you use the emoji system for that?

i have a request if ur taking them atm, i saw ur sub kenji oneshots and i was wondering if you’d be interested in writing a subby kenji x reader w a lot of miscommunication or general angst bc that’s my absolute fave!! w all the smut you want ofc!

and if you don’t want to take the request that’s totally cool! i really just wanted to tell you ur writing is amazing and ily!

— 🌺

hello! thanks for ur request :] and of course u can be 🌺 anon! i also love angst, more so the hurt/comfort trope, but i'm really bad at writting it (╥‸╥) so this was my attempt to write a hurt/comfort fic for the first time. hope u like it! i'll practice to make it better next time (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

p.s.: i didn't add much smut, mostly because my brain is fried :p

NOT ALONE

pairing: ultraman: rising — ken sato x fem!reader

word counting: 2.7k

content warning: arguing | kenji is so stressed :( | riding | unprotected sex | masturbation (female)

side note: english is not my first lenguage, so i apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes

You notice, of course you notice.

You love and care for Kenji too much to not notice the dark circles under his eyes because of the lack of sleep; the way he's been more sensitive, even over the most little things; how he overworks himself in his baseball practices and won't stop unless Mina turns the stadium hologram off.

You knew how his relationship with his father was, but you have seen the way he declines his calls without a second thought now, knowing the guilt trip he had to overcome before he even hit the decline button on his watch before.

You notice, and of course you're worried about it. You didn't have to be his girlfriend to be worried. Hell, you would even be worried by just seeing him walk like a zombie in the streets as a stranger! And all that worry is what brings you in front of his mansion door at midnight.

He hasn't been answering your messages nor calls. You get it, he's a busy baseball player, but he always made at least a few minutes to reply to your messages, mostly saying sorry for not picking up your calls and that he'll call you back after he's done with an interview, telling you that he loves you.

After ringing his doorbell, you only had to wait for a few minutes before you could hear the hurried footsteps coming to the door. Opening it, there he was. With his adorable bed head, he looked up at you, tired eyes wide with surprise.

"Baby" his voice cracked, making him clear his throat before he talks again. "Hey baby, uhm...I didn't know that you were coming!" he laughs nervously.

"Well...I did text you" you shake your phone, and Kenji gulps.

"I..." he sighs, "I'm sorry baby. I just been...so busy later" he groans, rubbing a hand over his face with fatigue.

"I understand, Kenji. May I come in? I just wanna talk with you. It's been a while"

Kenji looks at you through his sleepy eyes, and even in that state, you were able to see the way his eyes softened at the sight of you. It really has been a while. He reaches a hand to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

"Of course" he mumbles, low but loud enough for you to hear him. He moves his hand from your face to your hand, taking it and pulling you softly inside, closing the door behind him.

You guys walk over the kitchen. Kenji lets go of your hand to walk over the fridge. "Do you want anything?" he asks, referring to the fridge's content.

[Name] sucks in a breath, gathering courage to speak. "Yeah, I'd like for us to talk" she finally said, noticing how Kenji's shoulder tense as he close the door's fridge, staying there with a can of soda in his head, not facing her. "For you to talk to me, Kenji. I believe you when you say you're busy with baseball, I really do! But I thrust my gut to know that there's something else going on"

She walks closer to him, staring at his broad back. How she wishes she could just hug him from behind and erase all his problems. But the world is more complicated than that, and she knows it.

"You can't always rely on your gut to make conclusions" opening the can soda, Kenji spit those words with a gruff tone, making [Name] surprised over his mood change.

Of course she wasn't off limits of seeing him mad only because she was his girlfriend, but she didn't expect for him to talk to her like that over a simple request.

"Then talk to me, Kenji. I don't wanna be like this either" she starts talking, following Kenji as he walks away while drinking from the can. "You don't have to tell me everything, but at least admit that you're having a hard time so I can at least hold you"

Kenji lets out a chuckle, incredulous. "Hard time? Baby, I'm Ken Sato! I don't have hard times, I only have good times" he spread his arms beside him, trying to appear as flawless as ever, obtaining a deadpan face from you.

"Kenji, you look like shit" you simply say. "You can barely walk with your eyes open. I don't know about anyone else, but I can see the lack of sleep in your eyes, I can see how your shoulder has been bothering you more each day that passes. I know that you always work hard to be on a good shape for the games, but you go to an extent that is not healthy"

"What? Did you became a physician now?" he asks after finishing rubbing his eyes, a mocking tone on his words.

"What? No" you needed to take a breath to not break. "I'm just concerned about your well being"

"I am okay" he affirms, eyebrows furrowed. "You're the that's being like 'Ohh Kenji ~ you're so tired. You should rest up'" with a high pitched tone, he mimicks you in a mocking way while pouting exaggeratedly.

You feel your heart beating fast on your chest, your cheeks hot with embarrassement. Why was he behaving like that? You just want to help. Were you being too overboard? You give him his space, you have gave it to him for weeks. And that you finally thought it was a good time to adress his lack of selfcare and how sad he looks, he talks to you like this...

"I know that you're having a hard time, Kenji. Everyone that cares about you can notice that. I just...I just want to help in what I can" you say with a weak tone now. You had shrunk in your spot, suddenly feeling sorry for even going to his house in the first place.

"Well guess what? You can't help me"

In a desperate attempt to push you away —because if you kept looking at him with those pretty eyes, he'll spill everything— he's mean to you. Not the smartest choice to treat your lover, but that's the only response that he could muster at the moment.

He was flustered at the confrontation. Of course you will notice about his poor state. You love him and care too much for him to not notice that he's going insane little by little, but he doesn't want to share that burden with you. In his mind, he just can't.

You look up at him, big sad eyes that just make him want to hug you until you both forget this stupid moment.

Holding back your tears, the only thing you could do was sigh. Your heart feels heavy on your chest, wunded by his words and harsh tone. You're not the savior of the word, you're not Ultraman either, you just wanted to help your boyfriend...

"Yeah, I already knew that" you mumble. Taking a deep breath, you look up at him with a weak smile. "Alright, you might not want to talk right now, but if you need anything...I'm always gonna be there" you remind him, giving him one last look before starting to walk off to the front door.

Kenji looks at you go. You seemed little with the way your shoulders shrunk and you walked slowly, like an injured animal. His heart also feels heavy on his chest, a pang of guilt striking over all his body as his eyes are already watering with tears.

He hated that his stupid pride wouldn't let him as for help, for it to hurt you when the only thing you wanted to do was help him in whatever way you could.

He knew you weren't weak, he knew that you could be able to handle all the secrets that he's harboring on his chest, but he doesn't want to share the burden, he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you only because you know he's Ultraman.

What would he do if he lost you? He's sure that he was gonna lose his mind. Just the same way he'll lose his mind if he let you walk away through that door.

"Mina, lock the door" he commanded, and in a split of a second, the computer did so.

You didn't even try to open it after you've heard his command. Confused, you look back at Kenji, who's already walking towards you like a kicked puppy.

"Forgot to say something?" you ask, bitterness on your tone that made Kenji cringe.

He sighs, a guilty expression on his face. "Yes...I'm sorry baby" he begins. "I...I promise that I want to tell you, I want to tell you everything! But— it's...it's too dangerous"

And finally, after months of bottling all this emotions, Kenji finally breaks into loud sobs, fat tears running down his cheeks. Startled, [Name] didn't have any other reflections than hug him, even though she was still mad at his earlier attitude.

"Hey, hey" she whispered, running a hand up and down his back. "It's okay, it's okay"

Kenji wraps his arms around her shoulders, hiding his face on her neck. "I don't—" he chokes, "I don't want anything to happen to you" he cries, almost incomprehensible.

"Nothing is gonna happen to me, baby" she reassures, feeling his tears run down her neck and wetting her shirt, but she doesn't care about it. Kenji finally is being open with her, and that's all that matter.

Kenji sniffs a few times before talking with a weak voice. "Promise?" he asks.

She squeezes him a little bit more in her arms. "I promise"

Still sniffing, Kenji slowly pulls away from the hug, looking at his girlfriend with his big eyes full of tears, a cute pout in his lips. [Name] reaches her hands to run her thumbs under his eyes, drying his tears away. He nuzzles into her, a shaky breath exhaling out of him as he calms down.

"There you go" she whispers softly, caressing his cheeks with her thumbs now. "Come on, let's sit on the couch. I'll get you some water"

After a lot of reassurance that nothing was gonna happen and lots of cuddles, Kenji had finally told her everything. That his dad was Ultraman; that he took his legacy and he now serves as the new Ultraman to the city of Tokyo, and how he knows he's not doing a good job; that he has a 6 feet tall baby Kaiju that think he's her mother trapped in a container, and he clearly don't know how to take care of her; how much he misses his mother everyday...

[Name] listened to him attentively, her heart swelling at how much pain Kenji had to endure on his own and feeling guilty about not noticing sooner. Why she couldn't have been there for him? Right now, everything seemed so obvious, all of it happen in front of her, and she couldn't do nothing.

Her caresses on the back of his hand never stopped for even one second, even caressing his back when he needed to make a pause to cry.

Now they were cuddled up in the couch under a blanket. After spilling everthing out, Kenji just let himself fall into her arms and bask into her warmth.

"Thank you for telling me, Kenji. I really didn't wanna pressure you into talking, but you looked so sick...I was just so worried" she blinked back the tears, she needed to be strong for him now. "And yeah, it's a lot to take in. Like damn...I'm dating Ultraman" her comment makes Kenji giggle, his body trembling with laughter in her arms, "but it's nothing that we can't overcome, together" she remarks the last word. "And it's not something that it's gonna make me love you any less"

Kenji pulls away from her arms to make eye contact, his puffy eyes still able to show how soft they become when he looks at her. "I'm sorry I didn't reach out for you to talk. I just— I don't know how to ask for help" he admits, feeling a weight that he didn't know he had on his chest being gone.

"Well, admiting that is a big first step, so I'm really proud of you for that" she kisses his forehead, making him smile. "And we can work on that. We can search for professional service, that wpuld help out a lot. And, I'm always gonna be there for you" she reminds him, running her fingers through his hair.

She cups his cheeks, making him look at her in the eyes. "You're not a burden, Kenji. Your problems are valid and I'm always gonna be up to hearing them and help you in what I can and I can't do. We're in this together, alright? You're not alone anymore"

[Name] saw the way that Kenji's eyes swell with this again, a small pout on his lips as he gulps softly. He nods, slowly, letting her words sink in. He was not alone...he had her. It was not something that it would easily stick in his mind, but he'll try to remind himelf everyday. He was not alone anymore.

She leaned in, going for a kiss, and Kanji meet her midway, kissing her with yearn after all those weeks that they couldn't be together, that they couldn't touch each other. He could've barely see her with his busy schedule, and that also added to all his stress, all this mess. All he needed was to be in her arms.

Kenji takes one of [Name]'s hands that cupped his cheek and slide it down his shirt at the same time he traced her bottom lip with his tongue.

[Name] pulls away from the kiss, almost smiling when she hears Kenji whine and chase after her lips, desperate. "Hey, you really wanna do this? You're still tired, Kenji" she reproached.

"Please baby" he whines, looking at her eyes and then her lips, intensely. "I need you"

Kenji straddles his girlfriend's lap completely, letting her feel his hard cock against her stomach. [Name] gasps softly, looking up at Kenji's cute needy face as he starts rocking his hips softly.

She bits down her bottom lip before pulling him into another kiss where he moans.

They didn't even realize when did Mina lowered the lights. How could they? When they were so engrossed in each other's touch. The room was filled with the couple's moans and their skin hitting against each other.

Kenji was laying down on the couch, [Name] on top of him, as they hugged each other thightly while she moved her hips up and down, Kenji's dick hitting the right spot with every thrust.

Kenji's grip on [Name]'s waist just get tighter as he hide his moans in her neck. "Baby...baby" he calls for her, feeling his orgasm coming.

"I know baby, I know" she kisses his shoulder. "Go ahead, you can cum" she reassures, speeding the pace of her thrusts.

Kenji meets his girlfriend's hips midway, bucking his own as he hits the last thrusts before sliding out of her, ropes of cum shooting out of his tip, dirtying [Name]'s back, his thighs and the expensive couch under them. But who cared? He could buy another one.

[Name] brings her hand to her clit, making circle motions on it with her fingers as she grins on Kenji's abs. He manages to look up at her with cloudy eyes, brain still fuzzy with the euphoria of his recent climax. Still, his hands come up to caress her thighs, encouraging her to keep using him to get off.

"S' pretty" he slurs, running his thumbs on her skin.

"Fuck...Kenji" with his name on her lips, she ends up cumming with a few more motions of her fingers before collapsing on top of her boyfriend's chest.

They stayed there, in each other's embrace as they calmed down. Kenji's finger run softly down [Name]'s arm, his free arm wrapped around her waist.

"I'm sorry I didn't help you get off" he whispers suddenly, making [Name] chuckle.

"It's okay. To be fair, you're about to pass out now" she props her chin on his chest, looking at him with dreamy eyes. Kenji chuckles as well, not denying it. "Come on, let's take a bath and then you can finally have some good night sleep" patting his chest softly, she starts getting up and helps him as well.

"Are you gonna introduce me to the baby Kaiju tomorrow?" she asks as they walk together to the bathroom.

"Oh yeah, and she's gonna love ~ you. Just like I do ~" he litters her cheek with kisses, making her giggle.

"Come on, Romeo. Let's take a bath"

[taglist] @vinegarjello

[lacroixqueen]

i'm so chill but you make me jealous jealous deadpool x fem!reader, 18+

Summary: deadpool sees you on a date with another guy and loses his shit lol

Pairing: jealous deadpool x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings/Tags: jealousy, possessive, angst, brat, noncon, dubcon

You were trying to figure out the fastest way to get out of this dumpster fire of a date. This is what you get for putting yourself out there, by the fervent advice of both your mother and entire social circle. So you went ahead and downloaded a dating app out of sheer boredom but also a tiny glimmer of hope. After quite a number of left swipes and a small handful of rights, you somehow wound up across the dinner table with… er, you forgot his name already. 

But you knew he worked in finance. Or was it accounting? Anyways, he was currently explaining the intricacies of the stock market to you, and the appetizer hasn’t even come out yet. And you realized that you couldn’t care any less. 

“I.. have to go to the bathroom,” you said, standing up quickly and pushing in your chair. Your date almost didn’t seem to notice, giving you a half-hearted acknowledgement and then continuing to drabble on to himself about cryptocurrency. 

Without another word, you darted to the nearest exit of the restaurant, finding yourself on the freshly rained-on sidewalk. You always loved the smell of the concrete after it had just rained. 

Your heels made a satisfying click-clack sound as you briskly maneuvered your way down the street. You opened up your texts to see if you missed anything during the god-awful date, and lo and behold, was a message from none other than Wade.

“Love the dress,” it read. 

You glanced behind you, then side to side, and once you turned back around, there he was, leaning against the side of the cornerstore. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked, barely turning towards him before directing your attention back to your phone and continuing to walk past him. 

“Ohhhh, so it’s ice cold today,” he commented, following right behind you. “I love that flavor.”

“What do you want,” you said while texting a friend about how disastrously the date went. “I am just going home.”

“Well, I was just walking by when I caught a glimpse of you through the window of that Italian restaurant back there,” the assassin replied. “Speaking of which, what was on the menu? I mean that place looked upscale! Like they probably sprinkle gold dust on their pasta instead of parmesan.”

It was an Olive Garden.

“To be blunt, I honestly forgot,” you responded. “I didn’t even eat anything.”

“Well, why did you leave so early?” he pried, this obviously piquing his attention now.

“I-I felt sick,” you lied, your intonation increasing as quickly as your apprehension. “Can we just change the subject, please?”

“Oh ho ho,” Deadpool chuckled, as if he struck gold. “That bad? I mean, I didn’t get a great look at the guy, but from what I saw, he wasn’t terrible-looking. Also, he wore a fleece vest. I mean, that’s just the height of fashion, you really can’t get any better than that.”

“Are you having fun?” you said, rolling your eyes as he continued to mock your absolutely colossal defeat of an evening. 

“Oh, absolutely,” Deadpool laughed. “The other point of contention is why the hell you decided to pull out this absolute banger of a dress for your first date with Mr. Finance Bro there and not ours?”

“That was not a date,” you enunciated, pressing your finger into Wade’s chest. “That was a drunken one night stand that will never happen again and that you even promised to never bring up. It was stupid and nonsensical and I can’t believe it even happened in the first place.”

“Oh come on, Y/N, you’re going to break my heart,” he whined, clasping his hands together like a needy puppy. “I, for one, thought that night was very special. I mean, you even told me that you could see yourself fall-”

Before he could say another word, you grabbed him by the hand and led him into a dark alleyway so that innocent bystanders wouldn’t hear you scream.

“Stop! Bringing that up!” you exclaimed. 

Deadpool was shocked his casual mention of the event elicited such a strong emotion from you. “Okay, okay, jeez.. calm down.”

You sighed, letting him go and turning your back to him. 

But he didn’t let you. Not even for a second. Before you could even react, he grabbed you by the neck and slammed you into the wall. 

You gasped, your hands instinctively reaching up to clasp over his while his grip only tightened over your carotid. 

“Besides, you know that I only followed you here because I wanted to see more of you in this ridiculously skimpy dress..” his voice darkened as he continued to choke you like a helpless animal. “I mean, look at you. That thing practically clings onto you like skin! If you weren’t such a tightass I would have ripped it off of you by now..”

He unsheathed his pocket knife and ran it across your lacy scarlet choker, over the thin straps of your slip dress, and onto your chest. He traced the outline of your cleavage with the dull edge, and then slowly slid it down over your taut stomach. 

You were trying to gulp up air for just one breath, but his hold was unrelenting. 

“I mean a red mini dress, are you fucking kidding me?” he snarled, his blade gently brushing against the garter belt on your right thigh. “Wearing my favorite color? With some other guy? This has got to be orchestrated at this point, Y/N.”

“Wade.. please..” you begged, lips beginning to quiver. Regardless of how much he joked around with you, he scared you when he was angry. 

He finally released you, allowing you to cough and gasp for your first breath. 

“But you know of course I wouldn’t kill you, I mean who do you think I am, a psychopath?” his tone immediately brightened up the moment he saw how much you feared him. “I just like watching you not being able to breathe is all. It’s so cute.”

 After you finally caught your breath, you stared daggers down at the vigilante who stood before you. 

“Listen, Wade,” you said. “I understand you are not exactly pleased with the current state of affairs. But this isn’t entirely up to me. And I’ve told you this a million different times.’

The assassin let out a dramatic, almost cinematic sigh. “Yes, I know, Your mother wants you to date ‘someone sensible with a stable career and not a psycho killer’. Which is perfectly understandable! I get it. I mean, I would probably think the same thing if I lived in the suburbs and made tuna casserole in my spare time.”

“Wade..” you shook your head and rolled your eyes. “You know it’s not that simple.” You walked up to him and gently lifted up his mask to reveal only his lips. 

He didn’t hesitate to grab you by the waist and pull you so close that your body was pressed up against his. 

You stood up on your tiptoes in your heels, stabilizing yourself by holding onto his broad shoulders. You weren’t exactly sure what you were doing, but you knew something within you just wanted to kiss him. But you also didn’t know if this was the right idea. 

The plump part of your lip gently brushed against his. The smell of your watermelon lip gloss was driving him crazy. He started to breathe heavily, and if another second passed where you weren’t kissing him he would say fuck it and just do it himself. 

You felt his hot breath in your mouth, and you felt your arms twist around him like they knew exactly where to rest themselves. Like they have done this before. 

“I’m so stupid for this,” you sighed, as you felt his lips beginning to close over yours. 

He smiled smugly into the kiss, quite pleased with himself over the hard fought victory. Without another moment of hesitation, he grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you up without much effort at all. He walked over to the wall, pressing your back softly against it. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist automatically, kissing him like you would die if you stopped. You felt his tongue wrap desperately around yours. He was aggressive, hungry even. He wanted you all to himself, not some fucker in a fleece vest or anyone else for that matter. 

You knew you would regret your decision in the morning. And that no matter how hard you tried to deny it, you would come running back to him. Every single time. 

[bluesidez]

Firefighter!Miguel Part 3

content warning: fluff, some mentions of Christianity because a lot of southern grandmothers are Christian (it shouldn't be anything that makes non-Christians uncomfy)

word count: 1.5k, not proofread

Prev | Next ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅𓌉◯𓇋 Masterlist

Firefighter!Miguel who listens with a skeptical face as the trio of teenagers in front of him explain how their car ended up upside down in a lake.

“We saw a squirrel and we couldn’t just hit it, that’s inhumane!”

“So, you roll your car down a ramp instead?”

The trio stare at him with building panic.

“There’s not a single scratch or bruise on any of you.”

It takes about ten seconds of empty space before one of them crumbles to the ground in faux pain.

“I-I can still feel the sunroof on my head!”

“And you’re grabbing your stomach to show that."

The three of them stared at each other for a second, then one of them starts to cry, "We didn't mean it!"

"We're sorry!"

"I told them to just drive over a bump, they didn't listen!"

They started to crowd Miguel, each telling a different story. Miguel didn't believe a single one of them but their dedication to this bit was admirable.

"Ok. Let's get your parents on the phone," Miguel's voice demanded attention. "The totaled car is enough of a lesson, but I'm sure none of your names are on this vehicle."

The boy in the middle curses and runs his hand through his hair, "My dad's going to kill me."

"I would hope they'd be more happy that you're alive," Jess came up next to Miguel with a helmet under her arm. Her slicked-back hair has started to frizz up from the sheer amount of work it took to get a car full of water back on the ground. "If you all didn't think fast enough, there's no guarantee that we would have made it here in time to rescue you."

Firefighter!Miguel who tried his best to calm down the worried parents.

Yes, their children were ok. No, no one was hurt. Yes, with the right insurance totaled cars can be covered. No, he's not sure how the car ended up upside down. Yes, firefighters do these rescues regularly.

No, he was not giving out his number.

"What did I say about that face?" Jess sang as she sat in the passenger seat of the truck.

"Just because you say it, doesn't mean I want it to happen."

"Maybe you should get a ring. That poor mother looked so hurt when you rejected her."

"A ring doesn't stop wandering eyes or hands," Miguel gripped the steering wheel tighter.

Jess sighs, "True. That's not stopping you from staring at your phone like a sad seal while we're waiting on calls."

Miguel tried his best not to let his shoulders slump. He was a captain, not one of those reckless teenagers, "You think I did something wrong? It's been a few days."

"Maybe they think you're busy? Maybe they're nervous. Maybe they're busy. I'm sure you'll get a text soon."

Firefighter!Miguel who jolts from his sleepy daze at every notification from his phone. The 24-hour shifts can be grueling.

One glance at his phone showed some magazine emails and the reminder of a show he was excited to see.

Firefighter!Miguel who finally gets your text message on the way to his car.

You wanted to take him up on the offer of stopping by your house to check out the gas line.

His sleepy state gained a new jolt of energy and he was able to utilize it to tap along to the radio all the way home.

"When you add this, he'll never even think about finding someone else."

"Is that so?" You laughed as you listened to your grandma explain her secrets of keeping a man. Even if you found it a little funny, borderline ridiculous, and extremely outdated, you knew she was dead serious. "And how do you get the man?"

Your grandma paused and smiled, "Are you sure you're ready to hear that?"

"If you're laying out all of your secrets, I might as well!"

Your conversation was interrupted by a knock and the ring of a doorbell.

"Well, looka here!"

You can hear the glee in your grandmother's voice as she opens the door.

"Look what the Lord brought me," she comes back to the kitchen with her arm wrapped around Miguel's arm. She's smiling brighter than ever. "And he had enough sense to bring back my good dish. Won't He do it?"

"Of course, I had to bring it back. How else could I thank you both and ask for some more at the same time?"

Miguel looked funny in your childhood home. A little out of place. Though when he opened his mouth it was like everything seemed right. He looked even funnier out of uniform. The joggers were doing something for you.

"You ready?"

You blinked a couple of times, coming back to Earth and steadying your wandering mind.

"Ready for...?"

"My poor child," your grandma grumbled to herself. "He came to go check on the house. Remember?"

"Oh! Yes, yes. Of course! Let's go."

As you made your way to the door, your grandma made sure to pull you back.

"And remember what I told you, ok? You just need a dash of it."

"Grandma there won't be any cooking until I get my gas line fixed."

"I don't mean the cooking, child, I mean the-"

You coughed loudly to cover her growing voice. The older she got the more her brain-to-mouth filter faded away.

"I got it, grandma."

You were sure she was going to say something about a bedroom technique, but Miguel was probably standing closer to you both than your grandma thought.

He didn't need to know whatever your grandma was trying to say.

Firefighter!Miguel who was happy to have someone that truly piqued his interest after so long.

Some of his hookups were either growing too attached or getting too ballsy, stepping over several boundaries. The last girl he dated was in it for all of the wrong reasons, and the woman before that sunk him so low he never knew he could bounce back.

He told himself he wouldn't try to date any of the people he saved, but life was growing longer and he wasn't getting any younger. Plus, you did look really lovely in your patterned pajama pants and flour in places they shouldn't be.

Something about your struck a match against him.

Firefighter!Miguel who walked into your house with a calmer state than the last.

There was a blue tarp plastered over the hole in your home and some debris left over from the accident.

"Sorry for the mess," your voice was quiet enough that he had to hone in on it.

"I've seen worse."

You look back at him with shock then laugh when you see the silly grin on his face.

He walked deeper into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets, "It's not too terrible. I actually went ahead and called the gas company because something like this needs to be solved immediately."

Your eyebrows raise, "So is it already fixed then?"

"Took them about a day, but yeah. Now we just need to focus on getting the rest of this worked out."

"Thank you, truly," you smile up at him as you shift your weight. "Well, I guess I should do something else then, huh? I don't want to waste too much more of your time.

He was off work. "I don't mind. Glad to help in any way I can."

"Do you know how long the repairs might take?"

Miguel clicks his teeth repeatedly, "From about a week to a couple of months. From what I see, you should probably grab a few weeks of clothes."

"Roger that, Captain," you salute him as you turn to go to your room.

Miguel quelled the tiny spark that those words brought to him.

Firefighter!Miguel who watches you kick something out of the way when you enter your room.

He caught a flash of purple as you turned the lights on, but whatever it was under your bed in one swift motion.

Firefighter!Miguel who leans against the doorway as you bend deep to pull out more clothes.

Why you didn't grab things that were already on hangers, he wasn't sure, but he wasn't upset at the view at all.

Firefighter!Miguel who wanted to see you again, so he invited you to the annual charity car wash that his unit gave.

"We wash cars for a decent price, sell some goodies, and we take some pictures for the firefighter calendar."

He saw your eyes light up at those words, "I think I would love to see that."

"And I would love to have you there."

"Would you, now? Should I invite more people?"

"Yeah, for charity. I think I'm mostly going to be happy to see you."

Miguel picked a bin full of your clothes up and walked them through the door to his car, not really ready to process whatever look you might have on your face.

He may have nearly slammed his hand into the door with how fast he was moving, but he hopes that he can see you again soon.

divider by: @gigittamic + @/benkeibear (Idk if you'll see this, but I hope you're doing alright!!!) ❤️‍🔥

a/n: It's so late and I definitely have work tomorrow but here I am because I have no self control.

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[xescomplex]

L O S T P U P P Y — rick grimes x black!fem reader x daryl dixon

✷ : It had been a couple weeks since y/n arrived at the atlanta camp, everyone started warming up to her, even Daryl and Rick, but what happens when Rick and Daryl go on a run a something happens to y/n

✷ : chapter two: "yall two just love my life huh?" [ see other chapters ]

cw: mentions of daddy issues, walkers, pet names ( pretty, darling, sweet girl, princess ) , rude!daryl at first, a little sexual content ( dry humping, dirty talk, kissing ), age gap ( reader is 19 - 20 and Rick and Daryl are 30 - 40 ), mentions of rape / sa, creepy!Shane, slight daddy kink.

xoxo note: I'm bad at writing summaries so just bare with me + imjustagirlwithdaddyissues.

It had been a few weeks since y/n arrived at the atlanta camp and Y/n sat in her tent, doing her hair. Last week while y/n was on a run with Daryl and Rick, a walker grabbed y/n's ponytail and messed her hair up, she ended up crying the whole way back to camp and complaining that 'she worked so hard on her hair', leaving the two men to comfort her.

Most of the men were hunting so the only men around were dale and Shane. Y/n hated Shane with everything in her, when she first arrived to camp and saw Lorie and Shane sneaking into the woods together, shes hated them both equally because who could hurt such a caring and handsome man like Rick?

Shane came up to y/n's tent, his voice rang out, "knock knock" he said out loud "what?" y/n said half opening the tent "whatcha doin pretty girl" he asked with a creepy smile on his face.

"My hair- what the fuck do you want?" she didn't want to convers with him, he gave her a weird feeling ever since she got to the camp.

"Can I come in?" he said about to put his foot in the tent, "for what?" she kept questioning him, he knew Daryl and Rick weren't around so what was he trying to pull? she couldnt text Carol and tell on him because there's nothing she could possibly do.

"I just wanna come in and watch ya do your hair" he smiled "nah I'm good" she rolled her eyes. She hated men like Shane, dirty disgusting men who think they can have anything or anyone they want.

Lorie stood next to the camper watching the interaction between the man and the young girl, jealousy would cross her face.

"Leave me alone, your lil girlfriend giving me dirty looks" after she said that Shane fully stepped in her tent closing the zipper behind him.

Y/n have him a 'nigga is you coo?' look and pulled her phone out about to text Rick but Shane snatched her phone from her.

"Dude what is your problem?" y/n yelled, "I just wanna talk to you pretty," he ran his hands up and down her shoulders, pushing the girls boobs together with her arms.

Y/n reached behind her a grabbed the knife Daryl gave her as a little gift for just being her, Shane had a tight grip on her, forcing her to lay down on her cot in the tent.

"What are you gonna do to me?" she was scared, no one was around, all the women were down at the lake washing clothes, Lorie sure wouldn't help her and she didn't even know where dale was.

"I just wanna take care of ya" he said as he looked in her eyes rubbing up and down her legs, she looked around for her phone and saw it was next to the opening of the tent. She could stab him real quick, grab her phone and make a run for it towards the woods and hope to run into the other men.

She was about to start screaming but Shane got on top of her, covering her mouth and un-did his pants. She quickly stabbed him in the stomach and while he was still in shock, she pushed him off her grabbing her phone.

It took her a minute to get the zipper open and while she was getting it open, Shane pulled the knife out of his stomach and y/n started to make a run for it.

She didn't make it far before Shane used her own knife to cut her ankle while she was running, she fell to her knees fast, gripping onto her phone as she did.

Shane was slowly getting out the tent with a grunt, as he moved slow, y/n made another run for it and made it to the woods. She got lost and checked her phone, seeing it was on # percent, she called Rick's phone hoping he would pick up while she had enough charge.

"Yes mama," his voice rang through the phone, "please Rick help- Shane tried to force himself on me and cut me and now I'm lost in the woo-" the phone went dead while she was talking.

The girl continued her journey in the woods, y/n had no weapons and her phone was dead, and on top of everything it was getting dark outside.

'im gonna die out here' she thought as she sat down on a Rick by a creek and ripped her grey tank top up to wrap her bleeding ankle and wrapped her small knotless braids up.

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE CAMP, the whole group was panicking, Shane and y/n were gone and there was no sight of where they could have gone.

Lorie stood in the background while everyone made a plan to look for y/n and Shane. Rick and Daryl were fuming, they shouldn't have left her alone here.

Glenn turned his attention to Lorie, "did you see anything?" Lorie shook her head and rolled her eyes, "I don't know why y'all are going through all of this for a girl you just met 5 weeks ago," Lorie laughed thinking someone would agree with her.

"Lorie what is your problem?" Andrea asked, over the last few weeks Andrea and y/n got really close. Y/n taught Andrea to do her own short acrylics and how many ways she could do her blonde hair.

"What? come on there's no way y'all are gonna go through all of this for some slu-" Lorie was cut off by a loud scream heard from the woods.

"Thats gotta be y/n" t-dog said and looked around "okay, t-dog and Glenn y'all stay here Incase y/n or Shane run back to camp and we miss them, Carol get the medical stuff ready and dale you stay on lookout." Rick stated and every nodded their heads.

Carl ran up, "what's going on?" he asked standing in front of his dad. "Nothing, you stay here with your mother, you hear me?" rick asked as he sternly looked at Lorie, Carl nodded his head.

"Daryl lets go," and with the two men ran into the woods, flashlights hand, another loud girlish scream was heard "get off me! get the fuck off me you sicko" they followed the voice and it led straight to y/n.

Daryl saw y/n fighting off a walker and quickly shot it with an arrow, y/n looked up and the shooter. "Daryl!" y/n was happy to see him "oh I'm invisible now?" Rick laughed as he walked over to her checking out her cut.

"Are you okay pretty girl?" Daryl asked as he rubbed her shoulders and the girl flinched, "I'm fine" she smiled.

Rick and Daryl shared glances, "cmon mama we finne get you back to camp" Rick picked the girl up and carried her on his hip as Daryl closely followed behind.

"Can you tell us what happened sweet girl?" Rick asked as they got closer to camp and y/n's lip started to quiver, "i- i- I was doing my hair and-" Daryl felt pity for the girl, she just turned 21 and everything is so over-sitmulating for her.

"Its okay baby, take your time" Daryl said as they got back to the camp and Rick sat y/n on one of the tables and Carol ran up to them.

"Y/n I'm so sorry I wasn't there," Carol almost wanted to cry, y/n was like another daughter to her.

"Its fine, its fine" y/n breathed out, a huge pout on her face.

"Can you tell me what happened now?" Rick as as he backed up enough for Carol to fix up y/n's ankle.

"I was in the tent doing my hair.." Lorie watched from afar as y/n told her story, "and I was almost done before Shane came to the tent he started being weird and I didn't wanna talk to him," y/n put her head down.

"He got into the tent as I went to call Rick.. I saw Lorie looking right at us," everyone turned their head to Lorie.

"You cunt" Andrea turned around and headed for Lorie but t-dog caught her, "what the fuck are you talking about? I wasn't even around! I was with Carol.." Lorie wanted pity from everyone.

"You weren't with me.." Carol rolled her eyes "y/n I'm so sorry"

"Lorie I expected better from you," glenn said "no way you believe her" Lorie laughed.

Rick and Daryl ignored everyone and kept focusing on y/n's story.

"Shane came in and tried to force himself on me," she sighed, Rick felt bad for the girl. The first few weeks y/n was at the camp, she opened up about her father and how he sa'd her, she said "it made me mature faster, I didn't have a childhood."

"What happened after that sweet girl?" Rick as he redid her bun, slowly caressing her face.

"I cut him and ran but he cut me before I got far.. after I ran into the woods I don't know where he went next," Daryl nodded "we gotta find this son of a bitch."

"Everyone stay on lookout, were gonna take y/n to the tent and get her settled." t-dog, dale and Glenn nodded their heads.

Daryl picked y/n up like a baby, tapping her butt twice, "come on doll, lets get you showered."

Rick headed to their tent while Daryl took y/n to the RV to take a shower. Rick needed time to think so he let Daryl and y/n have some alone time.

"How you feeling pretty?" y/n had a sad look on her face "I don't know."

Once Daryl finally got the girl some clothes and good he laid down in the back of the RV with her, rocking her, whispering sweet things into her ear.

'im gonna take care of ya' 'no one can hurt you anymore' 'daddys here sweet girl'

Rick walked in to the RV and watched the two as they bonded, it wasn't too long before y/n fell asleep.

Daryl got up and took her back too the tent but as they were walking back, Shane came back.

xoxo note: stay tuned for part 2 of "y'all love my life huh?" , lol

[synamartia]

[ Featured Artwork © lustylita ] ❀ [ Featured Divider © cafekitsune ]

[ Story © synamartia ] ❀ [ Text Banner created via Text Studio ]

Content Warnings: Alastor x Reader ; Afab!Reader ; No pronouns or Y/N used ; Use of gendered pet names like "good/dirty girl" ; Explicit / MDNI / 18+ ; Sexual situations ; Sex pollen tripe (Love Potion) ; Hematolagnia (blood play) ; Biting ; Dom!Alastor ; Face-sitting ; Dirty talk ; Unprotected sex ; Vaginal penetration ; P in V sex ; Creampie ; Overstimulation ; Alastor is his own CW ; If I missed any, let me know! Word Count: 6,542 Summoning: @hazelfoureyes ; @minkdelovely ; @sugoi-writes ; @fraugwinska ; @lustylita ; @eris-norwega ; @rapturenyx ; @sirens-and-moonflowers ; @swagkittybear ; @l3rittany ; @chibistar45 ; @aceumbrellaheroes ; @pearly-sadness ; @mydickisjuicy ; @daisy-figmund ; @lunaorlunareclipse Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay on this one - we had a couple unexpected issues come up that cut into my editing opportunities ;A; Like Chapter Two, this one is a direct continuation of the previous chapter. I'm gonna try to make the next chapter the end of this particular scene, so we'll be getting into the plot soon! Get ready, 'cause it gets dark right out the gate! Also, I apologize ahead of time for the cut-off point - I know it's gonna leave some of ya'll with blue balls. But I'll make it up to you! I swear! Alastor's dialogue will be in bold red, thoughts in italics red, and Reader's will be in blue. If you would like to be added or removed from the tag list, let me know via ask/comment!

"Ah-! Fuck!"

You cried suddenly when he switched from kneading away at your breast to pinching your nipple, rolling the sensitive bud between his thumb and index finger. Your walls clenched tightly around his stiff cock at this, extracting a raspy whine from him. Alastor was making it damn near impossible to keep your eyes open, to focus on him. Every single thing he did, from the perpetual thrusting of his hips right down to the sounds that poured from his mouth had you close to creaming on his cock.

"Hm? You like that?" Alastor asked you, tone mocking as he parroted back your question regarding his ears. A jovial laugh echoed in yours when he saw your pout, your lip jutting forward as he leaned down closer to your chest, his thrusts diligent and relentless in their speed. It was amazing that the desk was still standing in spite of the rough pounding he was giving you. With one hand switching between massaging the spongy flesh of your breast to pinching and twisting its tip, Alastor's mouth attended to the other - teeth grazing the pebbled tissue, his lips wrapping around your erect nipple. Suckling gently, he began to flick his tongue over it a few times shortly before pulling away to place tender kisses to your heated, flushed skin. "Oh, my dear - you're so soft," he whispered, speaking more to himself than you, biting near your sternum hard enough to draw blood - sucking at the few droplets that trickled from the tiny wound seconds later.

Lapping at the small gashes in a soothing manner, he moaned into your skin as beads of the delectable red liquid coated his tongue. "So sweet," he mumbled against the malleable flesh. Alastor just knew your breasts would look positively radiant with bite marks, varying degrees of bruises and hickeys littering your skin - every single magnificent blemish a result of his ministrations. Knowing that he was the one to put them there had him twitching inside you, eager to make the images in his mind a reality.

"And all for me."

Alastor withdrew from your delectably beautiful breast, his lips popping loudly as the suction ceased. He took a moment to admire his work - the skin already beginning to darken where he had been suckling; his saliva that coated the hickey making it shine in the dim light; the red imprint of his hand and crescent shaped indentations of his nails where he unwittingly squeezed a little too hard; the way the surrounding area of your lacerated flesh where he bit you began to redden and swell. A sense of triumph and pride came over him, as he had been right - they did look absolutely radiant like this. It had him wondering what the rest of you would look like with similar markings; bite marks on the insides of your thighs and neck, scratches down your back made by his clawed hands, bruises littered across your chest and abdomen - his thrusts lost their rhythm at the thought of it all.

Soon after, Alastor was drawn from his imagination when he felt your hands in his hair again - only this time, your slender fingers were wrapped around the base of his antlers. How you were able to surprise him so easily, so often with such miniscule actions, he'd never know. "A-Ala- ...! Fuck, fuck, please- ...!" you choked out in between your gasping for air and loud sobs of ecstasy, your eyes fluttering as you fought against your own instincts, to keep them focused on his face. "Don't stop, don't stop, oh my god- ...! Oh fffuuu-!" you begged him, tears welling up in your eyes as you teetered right on the cusp of euphoria. A guttural moan from deep within his chest filled the air at the vice grip you had on both his antlers and his cock, nearly swallowed by the melodious sounds you were making and the steady slaps of skin on skin each time he slammed into you. His eyes shifted to radio dials as he watched the expressions you were making with exultation, basking in the marvelous rhapsodies you were singing for him.

Pressing his lips back against your breast, Alastor started to suck and bite in previously unmarked areas - determined to cover every inch of your silky skin. "Cum for me," he beckoned, control slipping from his fingers once again as he began to lose himself in the rapturous pleasure your body was providing. That was all you needed to hear - the sinful drag of his length within your dripping cunt finally pushing you over the edge, every muscle in your body contracting as the first waves of delicious gratification washed over you, swallowing you whole and claiming your senses. Alastor relished in the way your brows furrowed and your jaw dropped, a silent scream clinging to the back of your throat as you gave yourself over to the electrifying cascades. "Such a beautiful sight," he drawled, voice thick with lust and passion, the near deafening crackles and pops of static filling your ears - it was impossible that a more heavenly sight could exist, he thought.

If he could focus on anything else except the way you were squeezing him so tight, Alastor would be thinking of ways to save this moment, this beauty that you were oh-so-gracious enough to share with him. "... - sstor! A-Al-! Hoh- ohhh-! Mmmah-! Alasss- ...!" you couldn't form any coherent words, having been reduced to a blubbering mess as your walls clamed down on his erect member, the way they so greedily continued to suck him back in with each retraction of his hips, the near painful hold you had on him only serving to heighten the pleasure that accompanied it ten-fold.

"If you keep- ... Nnghh-! -keep squeezing me like that, darling-! Fuuhh-!" he tried to warn you, the futility of his words falling on deaf ears - he was too far gone, his words no longer mattered. Alastor had been so focused on coaxing another climax out of you that he failed to notice how close he was to his own, not until the suffocating grip you had on his cock was hurtling him down into the euphoric pits of bliss - forcing him to empty himself inside you for the second time. "Wait, wait- ...! Oh fuck, I'm-!" he cursed, unable to finish his sentence in time as his balls tightened and his mouth hung open, his breath hitching in his throat. He clenched his eyes shut and bowed his head, the sensations overwhelming him - your core dragging him down further and further with every pulse, every contraction of your muscles as he painted your walls white with his seed.

As you slowly came down from your high, seeing his reaction had you pouncing on the opportunity to give Alastor a little taste of his own medicine. You tightened your hold on his enlarged antlers, knuckles white as you pulled his head back and forced him to look up at you, a devious smirk dancing across your lips. "Eyes on me, dearest," you teased him, your tongue lingering on the last word as his body shook and shivered each time you pumped the velvety bones protruding from his skull - your hold pushing him straight into overstimulation with each stroke, every twist of your hands, your nimble fingers massaging gently over any branches you could reach.

Alastor stared up at you with hooded eyes, lips parted as he panted hard - his carefully curated mask of control and ambiguity faltering for a split second as he collapsed on top of you, his strength leaving his body. The small glimpse this gave you into his inner word had your smile softening into one of complete adoration, watching him rest his cheek on your breast, his smile exhausted and tranquil as he tried to level out his breathing.

Retracting your hands from the now shrinking bone, you laced your fingers into his disheveled crimson tresses, smoothing out the ruffled strands. "Good boy," you praised, letting the tips of your fingers stroke the backs of his hypersensitive ears, earning you a relaxed sigh as he nuzzled into your bosom. The two of you stayed like this for a few minutes - simply basking in the afterglow of your passionate acts and enjoying the silence that followed. It felt so surreal to you, being here with Alastor in such an intimate manner, unable to recall the last time you felt so peaceful, so safe in the arms of another person. If you could, you would have stopped time, if only to stay like this - in this moment for just a little while longer. You didn't want this feeling to disappear, absolutely terrified of what would come once it did.

'No, not now. I refuse to think about that - about him...'

Alastor broke his gaze first, closing his eyes and turning his head to place chaste kisses to your chest - and just like that, the mask had returned to its rightful place, barring you from the most vulnerable sanctuary of his inner world as the roiling waves of his release finally subsided, allowing him to take hold of the reins once more. A sigh of repose made its way past his lips as Alastor moved to stand up straight now, his hands wrapping around the back of your thighs. "My, my. Brazen little thing, aren't you?" his question rhetorical, his eyes drifting down your sweat covered figure as he pushed your legs further apart. He stared down at the place where your bodies were joined, pride swelling within his being while he admired the way he stretched you open.

Your walls clung to his shaft mercilessly, refusing to release their tight grip as he slowly retracted his hips until he'd pulled out of you entirely - sticky strings of his seen momentarily keeping you connected. "Fuck," Alastor groaned as he watched the viscous white fluid seep from your quivering hole and roll down your ass, a few beads dripping onto the carpeted floor beneath him, admiring the way your pussy clenched around nothing. With his left hand, he swiped at any drops he could catch and pushed it back inside with his index and middle fingers, pumping his digits slowly, eliciting a strangled whine out of you and causing your thigh to strain against his other hand. A haughty laugh erupted from his chest at your weak attempts to close your legs, removing his fingers from your core and bringing them up to your mouth.

"Open,"

Alastor commanded you, then pushed his fingers past your lips to press flat against your tongue. "So messy," he breathed out as you sucked his digits clean of your mixed fluids, not wanting a single drop to go to waste. Satisfied with your obedience, Alastor withdrew his fingers from your mouth a few moments later and cupped your cheek - brushing his calloused thumb over the remnants of your running mascara and eventually drifting back down to press against your lower lip. In that instance, his ever-present smile softened into one of serenity and contentment, drinking in this moment of complete ataraxy.

He could feel the effects of the Love Potion finally begin to drain from his body, being replaced with a sense of relief and... disappointment. 'Something's not right here,' Alastor realized, noticing that despite having successfully remedied his symptoms, he still very much so desired your company and affection. He rarely experienced emotions of a sexual nature outside his ruts, and he couldn't recall having ever felt romantic attraction to anyone in life or in death, so it was strange that he found himself wanting to drag this out as long as possible. But why? What about you was so different that had him betraying his preferences, yearning for your touch and longing to hear those sweet whispers over and over again until you couldn't speak?

Perhaps Love Potion was more than just a potent aphrodisiac and he simply underestimated the range of effects that spray could have on a person. He never had any reason to learn anything about it before tonight, viewing it strictly as another pointlessly annoying invention by those bandwagon riding hacks, so he was in the dark just as much as you. Or maybe his rut hit him early this time around. Whatever the case, Alastor refused to admit these were his own raw, unfiltered emotions and desires - it was too ridiculous, too comical a notion to be true. Him, the Radio Demon, the great and powerful Alastor, famous for his sadistic brutality, experiencing feelings as asinine and weak as romance? How utterly absurd!

... Unfortunately, the longer it went on, the more he was forced to acknowledge the horrendous possibility that dreadful mixture had only served as a catalyst to something much greater than a simple romp in the hay.

'This won't do,' Alastor thought, knowing he had to uproot these feelings of infatuation as soon as possible - before they grew beyond containment and become a threat of any sort. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was fully aware that it was a foolish decision, to not cut this off at the source immediately, but he couldn't help himself. The brilliance with which your eyes shined and the promises of bliss your body continued to make even now had him second guessing that course of action. But there was still a very real possibility, one much more likely that this was just a passing fancy brought on by the drug, and all he needed to do was get it - get you out of his system. 'Yes, that's all I need to do,' he told himself, deciding that he would indulge in these cravings - and you - for a little while longer.

Impulsively, Alastor leaned down again to give you a sweet kiss. His lips lingered on yours, one hand moving to curl around the back of your neck, the other finding your waist as he tugged you up into a sitting position. What started out as an innocent kiss soon turned more playful when he felt your teeth nipping and tugging on his lip, causing him to pull away with a light-hearted chuckle. "Quite the mischievous little minx, too," he said as he continued to smile down at you, a breathy giggle emerging from your throat in response to his statement. "There's the pot calling the kettle black," you mused, letting your hands rest on his forearms and leaning forward to press your head against his bare chest. "Hmm... I prefer the term 'cheeky monkey', but I suppose mischievous works just as well," he countered, lightly massaging the base of your scalp.

Silence filled the space between you as your exhaustion was quickly catching up, and you struggled to keep your eyes open. You had to stifle yet another yawn, something that did not go unnoticed by Alastor when he pulled you back gently by your hair to see your face better. "Tired? Would you like to stop?" he asked you, his grin widening when he saw the confusion on your face. Alastor looked down at the small space between your bodies, then to your face as a single brow rose - as if he was hinting for you to look down as well. "As enjoyable as that was, I don't think it was enough to rid my body of these pesky symptoms," he blamed that god-awful concoction, adamantly refusing to admit these desires were all his and nothing more. Following Alastor's suggestions, you looked down to see that he was once again fully erect, beads of precum leaking from his head to join with the remnants of your mixed essences. "Damn... What the hell did they put in that potion?" you asked jovially as you looked back up at him, a smile to match his own plastered across your face.

"I've not the slightest clue," Alastor laughed along with you at this predicament you've found yourselves in, glad that you both were now able to make light of the situation your mistake had caused. "But I will most definitely be having a little chat with our friend, Angel, about bringing such paraphernalia into this establishment come morning," he promised, his voice coming out as a growl as Angel's name rolled off his tongue. Alastor wholeheartedly blamed Angel for this chain of events - had he kept to the initial agreement when taking up residence at Hazbin Hotel, the drug never would have been anywhere near your naive self, and he wouldn't be tearing himself apart inside trying to figure out what it is he truly felt for you. Was it a fair judgement? Probably not, but it was of no concern to Alastor.

That was Charlie's job, not his.

"Uh-huh... And will this be a chat, chat, or should I stock up on tissues and ice cream before telling Charlie that her first guest is, ya know-" you ran your finger in a straight line across your neck as a way of saying 'dead'. Your question pulled him from his thoughts and Alastor blinked innocently. "Oh, heaven's no! I'm not going to kill him over something so frivolous as this!" he reassured you, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the idea. He had thought about it, sure - but it would bring more trouble than it was worth. He would never hear the end of it from Charlie and her pet; not to mention the numerous problems that would occur following his butchery of an owned soul, one belonging to a rival Overlord, and of high quality and value as Angel Dust. He could easily handle whatever the Vee's threw at him without breaking a sweat, but he'd rather not invite that kind of trouble to his doorstep just yet, not with the impending Extermination steadfastly approaching.

"He wouldn't die anyway, unless I used angelic steel. I'd rather save myself the headache he would give me after he puts himself back together."

Alastor had to hand it to Angel, though. He was mildly impressed by the resilience of his soul as well as his mind. When there was more than a fifty percent gap in the level of power, usually the owned soul would lose their sense of autonomy and become a mindless drone within the owner's ranks - but not him. Angel not only maintained his sentience after selling his soul, but he also still possessed the will to fight back too - and fight back, he did whenever Val's abuse stepped outside the parameters of their contract, a feat deserving of his praise. He had potential, that one. "Besides, it's far too entertaining to watch him annoy Husker. Poor fellow brings it on himself," he explained and waved away your concerns, soon turning his attention back to the growing ache within his loins.

"Okay, good. It's not really his fault, anyway," you mumbled as you thought of how you were going to get to Angel first - you had to warn him, at least. He may have brought Love Potion into the hotel, but you were the one ignorant enough to spray a previously unknown substance around one of the most feared demons Hell has ever known in recent memory. Angel already had one Overlord breathing down his neck, abusing him at every turn - it would eat you alive if you were the reason a second was added to the mixture. Drawing your attention back to him, Alastor lowered his hands to your hips and pulled you closer, pressing himself against you in an effort to alleviate some of his pain. "But I can think of a couple things that would be far more entertaining than a cat trying to swat away a spider," he purred, static popping loudly as he leaned down to steal another kiss from you, to which you happily returned.

The moment was fleeting as Alastor pulled back and reached behind you to the small vintage radio sitting near the corner of his desk. He pulled the knob to power it up and turned a few dials until smooth jazz began to play from its speakers. Although still mildly irked by your earlier actions - when you covered your mouth in an attempt to silence yourself - he remembered the embarrassment he saw in your eyes. Now that he was able think more clearly on it, he realized how much it truly bothered you to be heard by someone else other than him, and it sent small pangs of guilt all throughout his being. 'How inconsiderate of me,' he thought, cursing himself for not having any restraint despite his warning of the possibilities earlier. Alastor owed you an apology for the way he ignored your feelings in pursuit of his own pleasure, especially when you had been nothing but compassionate and accommodating of his needs.

Taking a step back, Alastor bent over to unlace his shoes and remove his remaining garments that were wrapped around his ankles - allowing you a glimpse of something curious. Initially, you had no idea what it was as you leaned forward, then side to side in an attempt to get a better look at it. "Hmm...?" Alastor hummed when he stood up straight, immediately noting the perplexed expression that overtook your features as he kicked his trousers and briefs to the side. "Something the matter, dear?" he asked you, tilting his head to the side as you pressed your lips into a thin line. You continued to eye the neatly groomed ball of crimson and black fluff for a few seconds before it finally dawned on you what it might have been.

Does... he have a tail?

"Alastor, is that a tail?" you blurted without thinking, immediately slapping both of your hands over your mouth right after. "Oh- that," he said nonchalantly, moving to stand between your legs once more. Your body tensed as you awaited his reaction, certain that you had earned yourself a good scolding for such an impolite question. You hadn't meant to be so bold or outright, but you've long since known that your body and your brain hadn't been on the same page since the moment all of this began. "Yes, it's a tail," Alastor responded with a sigh and turned slightly, swishing the puff of fur side to side a couple times to amuse you before turning back. "I'm sorry, that was rude- ...!?" you tried to apologize, but a surprised squeal interrupted your speech when his sharpened claws sunk into your posterior after he hoisted you up off the desk, your hands shooting up to grab onto his shoulders and legs wrapping around his waist in the process.

"It's alright, darling," Alastor reassured you, spinning around and taking a few long strides to the rarely used bed. "While I'm not particularly fond of it, my tail isn't something that I've ever gone out of my way to hide," he explained, dropping you onto the mattress and climbing on top of you soon after, nestling himself in between your legs as you breathed a sigh of relief - albeit a short-lived one. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, causing your body to tense right back up with each word that spilled from his lips. "Although, you are correct - it was quite rude to ask such a thing," he clicked his tongue in mock disapproval, his pointed teeth nipping at the shell of your ear, then moving down to tug on the lobe. "Perhaps I should give you a lesson in proper etiquette, hm?" Alastor mused, rolling his bare hips against yours, sending shivers up and down your spine, not missing the flash of panic in your eyes when his words finally registered in your brain.

'Shit. Shit, shit, shit- fucking hell, fuck my life!' you thought, trying to reel yourself back in and failing miserably. If this 'lesson' of his was anything like the punishment he had doled out earlier, you knew you were in for a rough night - one that would leave you physically incapable of walking out of his room come morning. "No- ...! Al, no, no... i-it was just a slip of the tongue, I swear!" your pleas had no effect on him though, his lips ghosting over the carotid artery in your neck, then over your collar bone and traveling further down to your breasts. "I'm sorry, please- ...!" you spoke, only to be interrupted by Alastor's stern gaze, looking up at you as he placed butterfly kisses to your bare chest and his teeth grazed over your erect nipple. "I know you are, dear," Alastor started, kissing further down your diaphragm to your navel, not breaking eye contact for even a millisecond. "But if 'sorry' fixed everything, there would be no hell, no demons, and we most definitely would not be in this hotel," he smirked wickedly, knowing that you couldn't argue with the point he had just made - your silence proved as much.

Alastor continued to move south, soon reaching the delicious mound between your thighs, never once thinking it would be this fun, this intoxicating. But, as much as he wanted to devour you and everything you had to offer him, he was on a self-imposed mission now and couldn't let himself get distracted. He would have the chance to indulge himself in a few short moments, anyway. Heated breath fanning over your soaked core, Alastor lightly kissed and nipped at the insides of your thighs, past your knees and down your calves - stopping momentarily for a taste of your blood that was still seeping from your self-inflicted wound. He groaned as the taste of copper coated his tongue, one hand wrapping around your ankle, deft digits unclasping the strap of your heel - repeating the process with the other and discarding both seconds later.

Sighing in defeat, you wiggled your newly freed toes while Alastor began to kiss his way back up your body until he was face to face with you again. "W-well then... what would this lesson entail, exactly?" you asked nervously, resigning yourself over to your fate as you tried to sift through your mixed emotions, unable to differentiate your anxiety from your excitement for the coming lesson. "Ah, ah, ah - patience, my dear," Alastor chuckled darkly at your question, not bothering to answer it as he roughly pressed his lips to yours and pinched one of your pert nipples. "Mmph-phh!" you whined, your body flinching at the pain his digits were causing as he twisted the sensitive flesh between his thumb and forefinger. Alastor pulled back, his teeth dragging your bottom lip with him as far as it would go - releasing it and your pebbled nipple simultaneously a few seconds later.

"On your knees."

Gulping audibly, you moved to sit up and reposition yourself in the center of his bed, eager yet a bit fearful of what he had in store. "O-okay... now what?" Alastor didn't answer your question at first, his figure evaporating into a cloud of black smoke only to reform in the space behind you. You couldn't see what he was doing, feeling the bed shift with his every move, causing your heart to race as you did your best to wait patiently for whatever it was that he had planned. "Now, we're going to play a little game, love," Alastor whispered in your ear, using his knee to force your legs further apart, tracing his lips down the rigid vertebrae of your spine. He placed one final kiss at the small of your back, eventually moving to lie flat on his own and scooting upwards until his face was between your thighs.

Looking down when you felt his antlers scrape across your sensitive skin, you had to cover your mouth with both hands to stile a laugh. "Alastor, what are you doing?" you asked, not expecting to have seen just his head in this position nor the uncharacteristic look of innocence he was giving you - a stark contrast to his previous display of dominance moments ago. "I told you already - we're going to play a game, one that will teach you some proper manners," Alastor explained despite knowing that your question was rhetorical - he knew it must have been an amusing sight, to look down and see his face when you were likely expecting him to whisper sweet nothings in your ear as he took you in every which way he pleased. He still intended to do exactly that, but not before you finished this game he just now concocted. Hands latching on to your hips, Alastor pulled your lower body down until you could feel his breath against your warmth each time he exhaled, that devilish silver tongue of his licking a single long stripe from your opening up and over your clit, then back down again.

"The rules are simple enough," Alastor began to explain, hands drifting down from your hips to the tops of your thighs and squeezing lightly. "I'll go easy on you, my darling doe. All you have to do is name five basic etiquette rules. If you stop talking, I stop," he paused mid-sentence to lick another stripe up your slick folds, "if you slow down, I slow down," another pause, this time flicking the tip of his tongue over the pink nub in between. "And if you cum before reciting them to me, trust that I won't let you cum again tonight," he promised, smile wide and wicked, a mischievous laugh following his words. You broke out into a cold sweat as he explained, your nerves kicking into overdrive as you tried to remember what the rules were. Most of them were common courtesy and usually taught to everyone during childhood, but with your mind so clouded with lust, you couldn't think of a single one. On the bright side, at least he only wanted you to name five.

"A-and... what if I can't recite any of these rules?" you asked sheepishly, biting the inside of your cheek to hold back your mewls when he dipped his tongue inside your plush walls and swirled all around them, retreating soon after and returning to your clit. He pulled back just enough to speak, inhaling your sweet scent and fighting back the urge to dive right back in - rules be damned. "Hmm... I'll give you one hint. After that, well... You're on your own. Use it wisely, my dear," his voice trailed off, eyes glowing a bright red as you stared at each other.

"Now, shall we begin, my sweet?"

Fuck, this was going to be hard. How the fuck were you supposed to think and form coherent sentences when his ministrations were lighting every single nerve in your body on fire? And you hadn't even begun yet! Alastor was awaiting your signal to start, anticipation and impatience gnawing away at his self-control. "Ooohhh- ohh-kaah- aay-! Let's staa-hahh- arrrt-!" you cried, trying to focus your mind so that you could begin. "Wonderful," he responded shortly before diving back in for another taste of your honey sweet essence. He started by poking and prodding at your slick entrance, then moved up to suck on your clit as you moaned softly with each suckle, each flick over the small cluster of nerves. He could see the gears turning in that pretty little head of yours, trying to find the words to recite the first rule of basic etiquette.

"O-okay, uhm... fuck," you whispered. "One rule is- so the first rule, I mean- nnghh!" a harsh suckle from Alastor was making it hard for you to focus on anything except the pleasure he was giving you. "A-always be respectful to others-!" With one rule down, you heard Alastor hum softly into your heated flesh, gasping loudly when he opened his mouth wider and pressed his tongue flat against your delicious mound, making long, firm strokes. "Aaahh-! Another rule i-is... shit, another rule is- ... is, be punctual- hahh! Let someone k-know if you're going to be- fuck! -To be late!" Rule number two, done; three to go. You tried to keep talking, even if it was just a bunch of babbling nonsense. You didn't want him to slow down or stop, but as the coil in your belly tightened rapidly and threatened to snap at any second, you recalled the third rule he had given you:

'And f you cum before reciting them to me, trust that I won't let you cum again tonight.'

Those words rang in your ears as you reluctantly closed your mouth and forced yourself to stop talking, trying to cool yourself off and push back your orgasm. Alastor wasn't pleased by this, but he was the one that set the rules, so he obeyed - stopping his movements and glaring up at you, his nails digging into the fat of your thighs as a warning not to test his already too thin patience. "Go on," he urged you, his right hand retreating from your leg to travel down his own body to his painfully erect cock, precum dripping from his slit and rolling down the length of it to soak the patch of neatly groomed crimson hair at his base. Swallowing hard, you nodded your head and opened your mouth to continue speaking even though you had not yet come down completely. "A-ask for permission, an-nnnghh-! And uhmm- oh fuck! Fuck, c-cover your mouth when you... when you sneeze, or cough- oh my god!" you recited rule number three and four in quick succession, your hands shooting down to twist and tug at his magnificently opulent head of red and black hair, eventually moving to wrap around the base of his antlers, looking for something to ground yourself as you tried to think of one final rule.

"You're doing well, Mon Amour. One more, and then you can let go," Alastor promised you, lazily stroking his hardened length in an effort to alleviate some of the pain, a bead of pre rolling down the length of it and mixing with your combined essences in the space between his shaft and balls. A soft whine escaped his throat when he tightened his grip and began to pump himself with a little more vigor, drool mixed with the delicious nectar spilling from your core trickling down the sides of his face and coating his chin. "Come now, don't keep me waiting. You can do it," he mumbled against your flesh, waiting for you to begin speaking again.

Alastor continued to pump his shaft, gradually gaining speed as you remained silent, panting hard and squeezing his antlers even harder, struggling to fight back your release long enough to finish the game. But the sight beneath you was one to behold, indeed - you couldn't bring yourself down even a smidgen as you admired the way the soft light shone on his disheveled hair, how his hooded eyes spoke volumes on what he was feeling, new branches forming and growing from the main roots of his antlers as control began to slip from his fingertips once more. And just as you stared at him, he stared back. His own eyes traveled from your blissed out expression, pupils blown wide with lust, to the bite marks and hickeys scattered across your neck and collarbone, and further down to the curve of your supple breasts heaving as you tried to catch your breath before you continued. "My sweet doe, please..." Now he was the one that was begging, voice thick with seduction and desperation. Had you not been so close to your peak, you would have taken full advantage of the opportunity to dominate him this time around.

You watched him for a couple seconds, listening as his breathing became more ragged and the slick sounds of his hand rapidly pumping his shaft grew louder and louder. Moans soon replaced his huffs and gasps as he pushed himself closer to his climax, almost foregoing his own game and devouring your sweet little cunt as he chased his high - but no. He persevered, pinching his tip suddenly to push back his own release in favor of hearing the last rule he so eagerly waited for you to speak. He didn't have to wait for long, as you finally felt comfortable enough to open your mouth and continue speaking, pressing your drenched core down and grinding slow, harsh circles on his mouth. "A-and the last rule- nnghh oh fuck me, just like that-!" you whispered, grip tightening around his antlers as Alastor growled against your ambrosian heat, his left hand moving down to join the other by cupping his aching balls, kneading and rolling them between his digits, slurping messily and sucking harshly on your clit as he came closer and closer to his release.

"The last rule i-is- hahhh-! A-always... always say please and thank you!" you finished, closing your eyes and throwing your head bad in ecstasy, your hips gyrating, desperately chasing that breath-takingly, blissful release. "Oh my god, fuck- thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank youuu-ahh! Please, keep going, Al-!" you cried as the blinding, white hot euphoria crashed into you at long last, tremors wracking your entire body as you rode out your high, your essence pouring from your cunt and down Alastor's throat, eliciting a graphic, drawn out groan as he vigorously pumped away at his cock - too far gone to care that you had broken the golden rule by looking away from him. Not wanting to cum just yet, Alastor retracted his hands from his aching shaft and grabbed hold of your waist, lifting you slightly to slip out from beneath you.

"You're so good for me! So good," Alastor murmured as he moved to sit on his knees behind you, pushing your body forward until you were on your hands and knees. Grabbing hold of your hips and dragging you closer to him, he didn't waste any time as he guided his throbbing member to your quivering hole, your juices making it easy for him to slip inside with minimal resistance. Setting a brutal pace almost instantly, Alastor held you by the hips as you lowered your upper body until your face was pressed against the heavy duvet, your hands clenching the thick fabric as Alastor pounded away at your overstimulated pussy, his balls slapping loudly against your clit as your walls clamped down on his engorged cock. "Hah- A-Ah! Ala- fuck, yes, just like that! Please don't stop, please don't stop, don't stop!" you babbled, your voice muffled by the blanket as you closed your eyes tightly, riding the aftershocks while he used you for his own gratification.

"Fuuuhh-ckkk!" you barely heard Alastor curse, his voice almost completely drowned out by the rhythmic 'pap! pap! pap!' sound of skin on skin, his thrusts becoming more animalistic with every slap, every plea you cried than bounced off the walls and invaded his senses. His eyes traveled down the length of your arched spine, watching as ripples were sent through the fat of your ass each time his hips made contact, his cock sliding against your pliant walls with ease, his tip bullying your cervix. "Hah! Hah! Fuh- ... uhah! Ala- ... Hah! Ah!" you practically screamed, his thrusts interrupting any attempts to say his name each time he plowed forward.

"Take it, take it, fucking take it- fuck!"

[ Master Post ] ❀ [ Chapter One ] ❀ [ Chapter Two ] ❀ [ Chapter Three ] ❀ [ Chapter Four ] ❀ [ Chapter Five ] Chapter Four Coming Soon~!

[bubblyi3]

Between Us, Before Us PART 3 | KTH

"the worst kind of sad is not being able to explain why."

pairing: taehung x female reader

genre: slice of life, angst, fluff

word count: 7.2k

content warning: angst, mild smut, trauma, cheating themes, unplanned pregnancy, heartbreak, toxic relationship

summary: between the past and future lies the aching space of now. with taehyung, you've journeyed through love, heartbreak, and growth. once strangers, then lovers, now something more complicated, your connection is shaped by time, mistakes, and second chances. this is the story of who you were when you first fell for him, who you became through the pain, and who you might still become if you dare to hope again. in the space between healing and longing, one thing remains: him.

author's note: oh my i'm getting whiplash just writing this part! anyway, happy reading everyone!

© disclaimer: please do not copy, translate or reproduce any part of this work without my permission. thank you!

*fiction rooted in real emotions and experiences.

PART 1 || PART 2

It started on a Thursday morning. We had both skipped our 8 am lecture. Not because we didn’t care, but because Taehyung had pulled me back into bed with that lopsided grin.

“Just ten more minutes. Please?” He whispered.

Ten turned into forty-five. Then pancakes. Then a mess of notes scattered across the duvet as we crammed for our afternoon classes together.

“I bet I’ll finish the flashcards before you,” he said, tapping his pen against his bottom lip.

“In your dreams, Tae.”

We were competitive in the best ways. It was one of the things I loved about us. Taehyung had a way of turning even stress into something warm. When we took a break, he leaned back onto his elbows and looked at me, hair falling slightly into his eyes.

“We’re gonna be okay, right?” he asked suddenly.

I frowned a little. “Us?”

He nodded. “Even when everything else feels like it’s moving too fast… We’re still good, yeah?”

I reached out and took his hand. “We’re good.”

And we were.

Until we weren’t.

Two weeks later:

Deadlines hit hard. Exams loomed. He started staying out later than usual. Where study sessions bled into midnight, sudden group projects with classmates you didn’t know well, especially her.

Minji.

She was in his music theory course. Minji is pretty and smart. She talked about composers no one else had heard of and laughed at his jokes like they were the funniest thing in the world.

You tried not to care. But, you really did.

One night, you waited for him outside the campus library. You were supposed to meet at 9. It was 9:47 when you saw him walking out with her. Laughing. His hand briefly on her back.

He didn’t see you.

Not until you called out his name.

His whole expression changed to guilt and surprise. That caught red handed stiffness.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were working with her again?” You asked. You're walking beside him now, your voice even but tight.

“I didn’t think it mattered.” He said.

“You knew how I felt about her.”

“She’s part of the project group. What do you want me to do? Be rude?”

“I want you to care." You snapped, stopping in your tracks.

“I want you to stop acting like my feelings are some kind of inconvenience to you.”

He sighed. “God, I knew this would turn into a thing.”

“It is a thing, Tae. You don’t even tell me things anymore.”

“Because you overreact.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, jaw tight.

There it was.

The shift.

“Wow.” You blinked.

“You act like I’m some villain for having friends. I’m drowning in assignments, I barely sleep, and I still try to show up for you, but it’s never enough.”

You stared at him, heart pounding. “Do you even want to be in this anymore?”

He looked at you, and for the first time, he didn’t answer. That silence hurt more than anything he could’ve said.

The Next Day:

He doesn’t text. You don’t either.

You pass each other on campus once, his head down, headphones in, like he doesn’t see you.

Maybe he doesn’t want to.

That night, you open your message app and start typing everything you can’t say to his face:

I miss you. Even when I’m angry, I miss you.

But I shouldn’t have to beg for the bare minimum. I shouldn’t have to wonder where I stand every time another girl laughs at your jokes.

Three days pass with barely a word between you.

You share the same campus, sometimes even the same café, but the space between you feels heavier than before. Like something invisible is pressing on both your chests. Neither of you is brave enough to name it.

Even at the apartment, things feel different. The silence isn’t peaceful. It’s sharp around the edges, and you move around each other like strangers. Brushing past in the hallway, and avoiding eye contact. Dinner times are quiet, the couch feels colder when you sit on opposite ends. Every sound. His footsteps, the click of his keyboard, the turning of a faucet feels louder. Like the quiet is screaming what neither of you will say.

And still, neither of you speaks first.

Then came Friday night.

You had planned to spend it with him. You always did. Studying, movies, dumplings from that little spot two blocks off campus. The one you both swore had the best chili oil.

But at 6:42 PM, your phone buzzed.

[Taehyung]: Going out w the boys for a bit. Won’t be too late.

You stared at the screen.

The boys. Which meant Jimin, Jungkook, Yoongi, Namjoon, Hoseok and probably Seokjin. It also meant loud music, bad decisions, and more than one drink.

There was no “want to come?” or a “we can hang tomorrow instead?”

Just… that.

You sat there a while. Rereading the message and willing it to change.

You almost left it alone. Almost waited it out like always, pretending like it didn’t sting. But this time, something inside you shifted. You didn’t want another night full of silence, of playing it cool while breaking apart inside.

So, you took a breath and typed:

[You]: Okay have fun x Also can we hang out after my class tomorrow? Just us. Maybe grab some food?”

It wasn’t a demand. It wasn’t even a confrontation.

It was you reaching out. Offering something softer before everything got too hard again.

You waited.

No reply.

9:30 PM.

10:12 PM.

11:47 PM.

12:56 AM.

Still nothing.

The silence in your apartment was brutal. You curled up on the couch in one of his old hoodies, the sleeves too long, the scent of him still clinging faintly to the fabric. Every sound outside made you flinch. Every phone buzz that wasn’t him made your chest tighten.

At 1:43 AM, the door creaked open.

He stumbled in, keys in one hand. Scrolling his phone with the other, like he didn’t even notice the time.

“Seriously?” You said from the couch, voice low.

His head snapped up. “You’re awake?”

“No, I’m just a hallucination." You muttered, standing up.

“What happened to ‘not too late’?”

He blinked. “We lost track. Jungkook wanted to hit another bar, and—”

“And you couldn’t text?” You interrupted, arms folded.

“I reached out, Tae. I asked. I tried.”

“My phone died.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

You narrowed your eyes. “Of course it did.”

He frowned. “I’m not lying.”

“But you always say that. And I always end up here. Waiting, wondering if I even matter when you’re out.”

His expression hardened. “You’re overreacting.”

There it was. That same shift and the same sharp edge in his voice.

“I’m hurting, Taehyung.” You said, voice trembling. “And you make me feel stupid for even saying that.”

He tossed his keys onto the counter, exhaling sharply. “It’s exhausting. Every time I do something that’s not about you, I’m the bad guy.”

You stared at him, stunned. “That’s how you see me?”

He didn’t answer and just looked away.

That silence again. The one that always said more than his words ever could. You felt the tears prick but swallowed them back.

“I’m tired too." You whispered. “Tired of begging to be chosen.”

He really looked at you but the distance in his eyes said enough.

So this time, you walked away first.

No yelling. No more pleading. Just tired feet and a heavy heart.

You went straight to the hallway closet, pulling out a spare blanket and one of his pillows from the bed. You opened the drawer where he kept his sleep clothes and tossed them. Pillow, blanket, clothes, onto the couch with a dull thud.

A clear, quiet message: You’re not sleeping in here tonight.

He didn’t say anything.

Didn’t move.

So you turned again, stepped into the bedroom, and this time you shut the door behind you.

You curled up on the bed, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands. It was his hoodie, still carrying the faded scent of what used to feel like love.

And this time… he didn’t follow.

You left on a Sunday.

You didn’t leave a dramatic note. No slammed doors. Just a neatly packed duffel bag, your charger, and the charger he always “borrowed” and never returned. You took them both this time.

Your dad picked you up outside the campus café. You told him you needed a break, needed no distractions to catch up on your assignments, and he didn’t ask more. He probably saw it in your face. The swollen eyes and the fake smile.

You didn’t tell Taehyung you were leaving. You just needed space. Space to breathe. To not wait up and to not cry yourself to sleep.

He didn’t text until hours later.

[Taehyung]: Where are you?

You stared at the message, heart pounding. You let it sit.

Then came the next one.

[Taehyung]: Did you leave?

You stared at those words for what felt like an eternity. Your pulse quickened. You couldn’t bring yourself to open it.

[Taehyung]: Can we talk?

That evening, you sat in your childhood room, textbooks open but unread. Your phone buzzed again. His name. You almost didn’t answer. But some part of you still wanted to hear his voice, even if it hurt.

“Hello?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” His voice was soft, but laced with something broken.

“Because I didn’t think you’d care" You said quietly.

He was silent on the other end.

“I didn’t know how to fix it.” He admitted. “I felt like… no matter what I said, you were already done.”

“I wasn’t done.” You whispered. “I was tired. There’s a difference.”

“Where are you now?”

“With my parents.” More silence followed. You heard the faint sound of a door closing on his end.

“Can I see you?”

You hesitated.

“I just… I’ve been thinking about everything. And I know I messed up. I know I made you feel like you were asking for too much when you weren’t. I want to say that to your face. Please.”

You should’ve said no.

But your heart was already betraying you.

It was just after 5PM when your dad knocked gently on your bedroom door.

You were curled up by the window, legs tucked beneath a thick blanket, your phone facedown beside you.

“He’s here,” your dad said simply.

You didn’t move at first and just let the words sit in the space between you. The way your silence had filled too many rooms lately. Then you looked up at him.

He didn’t look angry. He didn’t look pleased either. Just tired. Like he wanted to say more but knew it wasn’t his place. Your dad had always respected your choices, even when he didn’t agree with them.

“Okay,” you whispered.

By the time you made it to the door, your hands were already shaking. You wiped them on your jeans, heart thudding in a strange rhythm. It was like part nerves and part something else that you didn’t want to name yet.

You stepped out into the cool air of the early evening, the sun dipping just enough to paint the clouds in hues of peach and lavender.

Taehyung was standing outside his car, leaning against the door like he didn’t know what to do with himself. He looked up as the door opened.

Your dad stepped out first.

There was a brief moment where neither of them said anything. Just a stiff nod exchanged passing between the man who had raised you, and the boy who had shattered your heart once, maybe twice.

“Drive safe,” your dad said flatly, then turned back into the house without another word.

You stepped out slowly, hoodie zipped up, your bag slung over one shoulder. You avoided Taehyung’s eyes at first.

“You look…” he started, then stopped. He cleared his throat. “You look warm.”

You didn’t smile and just made your way to the passenger seat, your movements deliberate, but your mind elsewhere.

He opened the car door for you. A small gesture and an old habit. The seat was reclined slightly, the way you liked it. A bottle of water sat in the cup holder. Your favorite.

You slid in without a word and the door shut quietly after.

Taehyung got in on the driver’s side and sat for a second before turning the key.

Silence filled the cabin as the engine purred to life. He adjusted the air con, too nervous to say anything at first.

“Thanks for coming out,” he said finally, voice low.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d change your mind.”

You stared out the window. “I almost did.”

He nodded slowly. “But you didn’t.”

“No,” you murmured. “I didn’t.”

The ride back to the city stretched ahead of you like a thin line of possibility. It felt fragile, uncertain, but real.

And for now, that was enough.

During the drive, Taehyung casually mentioned he was taking you to one of your favorite spots. You didn’t push him for details. There was no need to. His car slowed as it pulled to the side, parking with ease, and there it was.

It wasn’t a glamorous place. Just that quiet, hidden Korean joint near campus. The kind with fogged-up windows and walls worn down by years of stories, where old love songs lingered softly beneath the steady hum of the kitchen. Outside, life moved at its usual pace, but inside, time seemed to slow. Saturated with the familiar scent of soy sauce and things left unsaid.

Breaking the silence, Taehyung’s voice was soft but steady.

"I thought you might need this." He said. His eyes glancing briefly in your direction.

"Something familiar. Something for both of us." His words didn’t erase the tension, but they carried a warmth that felt like a fragile bridge between the two of you. The weight of unspoken things lingered, but at least he was trying to ease it, one quiet word at a time.

You and Taehyung would come here on midterm nights, when the weight of the world felt a little too heavy, and a bowl of hot jjajangmyeon could carry you through. It was familiar. Safe. Too safe.

And yet, it was dangerous in its own way. Like walking back into a house that had already burned down, just to feel the walls.

The waitress recognized you both instantly, her smile bright as if she hadn’t noticed the silence pressed like glass between you.

“Same order?” She asked, pen already on paper.

Taehyung glanced at you. Waiting for permission.

You gave the smallest nod.

“Two sojus. Tteokbokki. Jjajangmyeon.” He said. Voice rougher than you remembered.

Once she left, it was just the two of you again. The table felt too small for the distance between you.

You toyed with your napkin, as Taehyung stared down at the grain of the wood like it held the right words.

“You look tired.” He said eventually, voice low.

“So do you.” You let out a small and bitter laugh.

He looked down. “Did you sleep okay… at your parents’?”

“Didn’t sleep much.” You shurgged.

He exhaled slowly. “I’ve been thinking about that night. The way you looked at me when I came home late… after being out with the guys. You didn’t say anything. Didn’t scream. That scared me more than if you had.”

“I was tired.” You said.

“Yelling didn’t work. You stopped hearing me a long time ago.”

He winced at your response.

“I did hear you. I just didn’t know how to respond without facing the fact that I was hurting you.”

“How convenient.. you got to avoid the guilt. I had to live inside it.” You said softly.

His jaw tensed, but he didn’t argue.

“I deserve that.” You quietly added.

The food came before either of you could say more. The aroma hit first. Spicy, savoury, and nostalgic. Like it hadn’t been months since your last time here. Like the memories were still simmering under the table.

You picked at the tteokbokki in silence, careful not to let your chopsticks linger too close to his. Every accidental touch felt like it might split you wide open.

“You remember our first time here?” He asked suddenly.

“You dropped noodles all over your lap.”

You scoffed. “And you laughed so hard, the ahjumma thought you were choking.”

He smiled. “That was a good night.”

“Yeah.” You said. Eyes tracing the outline of your bowl. “We had a lot of good nights. Before everything started slipping.”

His throat worked. “I didn’t mean to make you feel second.”

“You didn’t,” you said plainly.

“You made me feel like last place. Like I was what you came back to when the noise died down and you remembered I existed.”

His eyes glistened for a second. “I never stopped wanting to be your safe place.”

“But you did stop showing up like one.”

The check arrived too fast. He paid without a word. Always reaching for the wallet before the apology.

Outside, the air had cooled. The wind brushed against your skin like a memory you didn’t ask for.

“I don’t want to go home yet." He said. You looked at him.

“Then don’t.”

He hesitated. “Come with me. Please. I don’t expect anything. You don’t have to say a word. Just sit with me. Or fall asleep. Or cry. I just… I miss you. Even if you don’t miss me back.”

You hated that part of you still did. You hated even more that you couldn’t turn that part off.

“Taehyung…”

“I know I’ve used up more chances than I deserve." He said, voice shaking. “But if there’s even a piece of you that still wants to be near me tonight…”

You swallowed hard.

“Fine." You said. Barely louder than the wind. “But I’m not pretending everything’s fine.”

His face softened with relief but he didn’t smile.

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

Back at your shared apartment, you hesitated in the doorway.

His jacket was still draped over the chair. Taehyung’s uni books were neatly stacked on the coffee table. The floor had been vacuumed, the dishes washed and neatly put away. As if he knew you would come back home.

He moved around quietly, turning on the heater. The hum filled the silence between you.

“You can take the bed." He said gently, avoiding your eyes.

“I’ll make myself comfy on the couch tonight.”

You made your way to the shared bedroom. Your steps are slow deliberate. The tension still clung to the air, but you couldn’t quite place the feeling. Whether it was the unresolved silence or the flickering hope that lingered like a half-burnt candle.

Taehyung followed behind, his movements quieter now. Respecting the space between you two.

Taehyung moved to the dresser, grabbing a change of clothes from the drawer. He paused for a moment. As if considering whether to speak, but the silence continued to hang thick. Just before he turned to walk out of the room, you reached out. Your fingers brushing the fabric of his sleeve, still hesitant but needing something.

"Wait." You said softly. Your voice almost lost in the space between you. He turned slowly, meeting your gaze. The tension palpable but not unbearable. For a moment, neither of you spoke. But the quiet was just enough, and you didn't know why you said it.

The words just left your mouth before you could stop them. Maybe it was the stillness in the room, the way the air between you two felt so thick and uncertain. Maybe it was the longing you hadn’t quite admitted to yourself. But you couldn’t undo it once it was out there.

“You can... you can just sleep in here too.” You muttered. Almost too quiet to be sure you were heard, and you instantly regretted them.

Taehyung paused, a small shift in his expression. He looked surprised. He didn’t respond right away, as if he was weighing your words, and looking for the intention behind them.

Finally, Taehyung’s eyes met yours, and without a word, he nodded slightly. His expression softened, as though the tension had broken just a little. It wasn’t a solution. It wasn’t even a promise. But in that moment, it was all either of you could manage.

You both lay side by side in bed, the soft rustling of the sheets the only sound filling the quiet room. Even in the stillness, you could feel his body next to yours, the faint rise and fall of his chest in the dark.

The silence hung heavy until you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“You made me feel like I was crazy.” You whispered, your voice breaking the quiet, raw and fragile. The words felt heavy in your mouth, but they had to be said.

Taehyung didn’t answer immediately. He didn’t move. He just lay there beside you. The weight of your words hanging in the air.

“For wanting time. For asking questions. For needing you to just… show up.” You added. Your voice softer now, almost as if you were speaking to yourself rather than to him.

You could feel his body stiffen, but he still didn’t turn to you. The silence stretched on before he whispered, his voice low and thick with regret.

“I know.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, the frustration rising again. “You gaslit me without even realizing it. And then you said sorry like it was supposed to undo the knot I still carry in my chest.”

The words hit the air between you like a shockwave. His body shifted slightly. The tension in his muscles tightening.

“I hate that I did that to you. I hate that I didn’t see it when you were right in front of me. Begging to be heard.” He said.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and before you could stop them, they slipped down your cheeks.

“And yet here I am." You whispered, your chest tightening with the truth of it.

There was a long moment of silence, but then you felt him move. Slowly, like he wasn’t sure whether you’d pull away. He turned on his side to face you. His eyes were glassy in the dim light, his jaw tight, as though he was trying to keep himself together.

“You’re here because some part of you still believes in me." His voice quieter now.

“Even if it’s stupid. Even if it hurts.”

The words hung in the air, but they didn’t feel like a question. They felt like the raw truth of what he was feeling.

You sighed, the weight of it all heavy on your heart, and you dropped the blanket you were clutching. The space between you felt smaller, yet you still weren’t sure if you wanted him to close it.

“I don’t know if I believe in us anymore." You said quietly. The ache in your voice betraying the fear you felt.

His hand hesitated, but then he reached out slowly. When your fingers brushed, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, his touch warm, almost tentative.

“Then let me believe enough for both of us tonight." He whispered. His voice thick with something you couldn’t quite place.

And somehow, without fully understanding why, you let him.

Even when you knew you shouldn’t.

Even when you knew that tomorrow would still carry the weight of all that had happened.

But for tonight, you let yourself sink into the warmth of his presence. You could feel the heat of his body against yours, the steady rhythm of his breathing.

Somehow, it was the comfort you hadn’t realised you needed. His warmth was something familiar yet painful, but in that moment, it was enough.

You closed your eyes, trying to ignore the ache in your chest. But his presence beside you. His warmth against your side was all you could focus on. And even though you weren’t sure of the future, you allowed yourself to believe in the quiet moment between you two.

Even if just for tonight.

Time passed.

Not with grand gestures or sweeping change, but in the quiet, creeping way it always does. Like seasons blending together until you realise you’re wearing the wrong jacket for the weather.

You took him back.

Maybe it was for love. For hope. For the memories you couldn’t bring yourself to erase. Maybe it was for the future you were still trying to believe in.

But truthfully?

You think it was because you didn’t know how to let him go.

The first few weeks were quiet and careful. He texted when he was out. Came home early. Washed dishes. Kissed your shoulder while you typed late-night assignments. You laughed. You made pancakes on Sundays. You picked out groceries together like nothing had happened.

But you could still feel it.

The bruise that was under the surface. That ache that didn’t go away, even when his arms were wrapped around you. The pain had shape itself now. It sat with you at dinner, followed you into lectures, curled up at the foot of the bed.

Your friends noticed. Nari noticed. She didn’t have the courage to say it out loud, but you saw it in the way she would look at you—those long, silent glances that asked questions but never dared to voice them.

Your parents had simply muttered, “Again?” when you told them.

Disappointment was a quiet storm. No one said it outright, but you felt it all the same. In the strained silences, the long pauses, the way people stopped asking how you were doing.

And still, you stayed.

Because he was trying. Because part of you still loved him. Because you were scared that maybe this was all love was. It's messy, painful, and a little uneven.

But late at night, when he was asleep and the city was still, you’d stare at the ceiling and wonder if you made a mistake.

Sometimes he’d roll over and pull you into his chest, mumbling, “You okay?”

And you’d say, “Yeah.”

Even though you weren’t.

You missed the version of you two that felt whole. You missed being someone who wasn’t constantly second-guessing her own forgiveness. You missed trusting him without that little voice whispering, remember what he did.

You were fine. On the outside. To people who didn’t know the whole story.

But deep down?

It didn’t feel fine at all.

It started subtly. Just the usual notifications. Small pings, a little light flashing on his phone screen. You weren’t even looking at it at first.

You were halfway through a movie, curled up on the couch. The room was dim, the soft glow of the screen your only light. Both of you were trying to unwind after midterms. With pizza half-eaten, both more focused on the plot than the text messages bouncing around. Or so you thought.

The phone buzzed for the third time in the last ten minutes.

Without missing a beat, Taehyung reached for it. His eyes quickly scanning the message and his thumb moving fast.

You glanced down, not trying to hide your curiosity. It was Jisoo. Again.

“Everything okay?” You asked.

He jumped slightly, pulling the phone down in a way that was meant to be discreet, but you noticed. He was too quick to hide it. Too quick to respond.

“Yeah.” He muttered, not meeting your eyes.

“It’s just Jisoo. She’s got car trouble. Said she’s stuck on the side of the road.”

You didn’t respond right away. You let the heavy and thick silence sit there. You could feel the familiar tightness in your chest, the slow realisation creeping back.

“What’s wrong with her car?” You asked. Trying to keep your voice steady.

“She just needs me to help her out. I’m gonna go after the movie and give her a hand. Shouldn’t take long." He said. His words were already thick with an undertone you didn’t like.

You didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the timing or that you were right there, in the same room. While he was already mentally somewhere else. Maybe it was the fact that it was always Jisoo.

Her name again.

“I didn’t know car trouble required a personal escort. Are you sure you’re not just… an emotional support mechanic?” You swallowed.

He chuckled nervously, but it didn’t feel like he was laughing with you. It was more like he was laughing at you.

“I’m just helping her out. She’s not doing well with it." He said softly.

“I told you... she’s going through some stuff.”

You didn’t argue. Not right then. You just nodded, because sometimes, no matter how much you want to speak up. The words don’t come out the way you want. They don’t come out at all.

Later that night, when you finally had the space to ask more questions. The next message from Jisoo popped up on Taehyung's phone.

[Jisoo]: Having issues with my boyfriend too. Can we talk?

The message hit you like a brick to the chest. You felt something sink deep inside you. You didn’t look at him right away, but you knew you didn’t have to. You could feel him bracing himself to check his phone again.

“I’ll text her back later.” He sighed.

“You’re not going to help her with that too?” You said. Your voice quieter than you meant for it to be.

“Are you?”

Taehyung looked down at his phone, and for a second, he didn’t answer. The silence stretched between you like a rope pulling you farther apart.

“She’s going through a rough patch with her boyfriend.” He said. Like it was the most casual thing in the world.

“Of course she is." You muttered under your breath. Not bothering to mask the bitterness creeping up.

“So I guess you’re the go-to guy when everyone has a problem?”

“I’m just—”

“I know." You interrupted. Shaking your head. “You’re just trying to be there for her. I get it.”

You didn’t. You couldn’t. The way his focus shifted so easily. The way he dropped everything to be there for her. Whether it was car problems, boyfriend problems, or the hundred other things that seemed to need his attention.

And still, there you were, waiting. Waiting for the next time you might get his undivided attention. But you didn’t feel like you ever truly had it. Not the way she did.

A few days later, you couldn’t ignore the feeling that had been gnawing at you. Jisoo’s name kept showing up again. At random times, always with some emergency that only Taehyung could handle.

This time, it was a breakup. She’d fought with her boyfriend, and Taehyung was the one she needed to talk to. He’d promised you that he wouldn’t let it affect you two. That he wouldn’t let her dictate your relationship. But that wasn’t how it felt.

He dropped everything the moment she texted. He’d just returned from a long day of classes, and after setting down his bag, he barely sat down before his phone buzzed.

“I’ll be right back.” He said. Already reaching for the door.

“Where are you going now?" You asked. Feeling the thread of patience snap. “Jisoo’s texting you again?”

“She’s upset.” He said simply. Already halfway out the door. “I need to check on her. You know how it is.”

“You always know how it is." You said.

Almost laughing from the absurdity of it.

“Every time, Tae. Every single time.”

“I’m not choosing her over you, okay?” He said. His voice taking on a defensive tone. “I just… I can’t leave her like that.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m the one left behind?”

He hesitated, his gaze narrowing. But before he could speak, you didn’t wait. You grabbed your keys and bag, heading for the door, brushing past him in the process.

“I’m going to Nari’s." You muttered, not bothering to glance back.

“I can’t do this right now. You added, the words barely leaving your mouth.

You left him standing there in the doorway, the tension between you thick and unresolved. He didn’t stop you. Didn’t ask if you were okay. He just… stood there. Gone again, just when you needed him most.

The worst part? You couldn’t bring yourself to hate him for it. But that didn’t make the pain any less real.

You don’t know how long you've been in the back of the Uber. The streets blur past in streaks of city lights, headlights casting fleeting shadows on the empty road. Your grip tightens on your bag, knuckles white, heart hammering in your chest. You should be furious that he’s chosen her again. But all you feel is exhaustion. Exhausted by the same cycle, tired of always feeling like the one left behind.

The Uber pulls up outside Nari's apartment, her warm light spilling through the window. It’s a small flicker of comfort amidst the storm swirling inside you. You sit for a moment, staring ahead. The ache in your chest feels like a constant throb, like a bruise that refuses to heal.

Before you can even lift your hand to knock, the door swings open. Nari stands there, arms crossed, her gaze soft as if she sensed something was wrong the moment you pulled up.

"Y/N." She said. Her voice quiet but knowing. "Come in."

You don’t have to say anything. She can already see it in your face.

You let yourself fall onto the couch, exhausted but too restless to really settle. Nari sits beside you, not saying anything, just waiting for you to speak when you’re ready.

“I don’t know what to do anymore." You whispered after a long stretch of silence.

“I feel like I’m not even… seen anymore. Like I’m just… here. You know?”

“I know.” Her voice is quiet but full of understanding. She’s been there for you through too much for you to hide anything now.

“Every time Jisoo needs something, it’s like he… disappears. It’s always her. Always.” Your chest tightens as you say it, as if hearing it makes it real.

“It’s not just the car trouble or the boyfriend stuff… it’s everything. She needs him, and suddenly, it’s like I don’t exist. It’s like we're not together anymore.”

Nari reaches out, putting a hand on yours, squeezing it gently.

“That’s not fair, Y/N.”

“No, it’s not.” You said, voice cracking in the process.

“I’ve told him that. Over and over. But every time I do, it’s like he just… shrugs it off. Like I'm being unreasonable.”

Nari shakes her head, her eyes soft with sympathy.

“It’s not unreasonable to expect your boyfriend to be there for you. To choose you sometimes.”

You close your eyes, leaning back against the couch. Trying to push back the tears threatening to spill over. You’ve been trying so hard to keep it together, to keep everything from falling apart again, but the weight of it all is too much.

“Nari, I don’t know if I can keep doing this. Every time I think we are getting better, every time I think we've moved forward… I see him dropping everything for her. And it makes me feel like I'm not enough.”

“You are enough.” She said fiercely.

“You are. And you deserve someone who sees that. But he…” Nari pauses, searching for the right words.

“He needs to realize that you can’t be second to anyone. Not even his best friend.”

You swallow, feeling the burn in your chest. It’s all so messy. So complicated. You don’t want to be the girl who can’t forgive, who can’t move past this. But you’re getting so tired of being the one who’s always expected to understand. To give second chances, to just keep waiting for him to change.

“I told him I’d try again." You whispered, more to yourself than to Nari.

“I gave him another chance. But deep down, it still feels like something’s missing. Like I'm just… stuck.”

“You don’t have to fix this all at once.” Nari said softly.

“But you also don’t have to keep convincing yourself you’re the problem.”

“I don’t know anymore." You said.

Nari is silent for a long moment, just sitting there with you. You can hear the faint hum of the city outside, but the quiet in the room feels heavy, pressing down on you.

“You’re not the only one fighting for this relationship, Y/N,” she finally said.

“You need someone who’s willing to fight with you. Not just for you, but with you.”

You nodded, unable to find the words to say anything else. How has it come to this? How have you allowed yourself to get lost in someone else’s needs while your own are left unanswered?

You stared out the window, watching the lights flicker in the distance. You’re so tired. But you know you can’t keep letting yourself be second. You can’t keep letting her be the one who’s always put first.

The next morning, you wake up with a headache that feels like it’s drilling into your skull. Nari had let you crash on her couch, her comforting presence felt like a weight lifting off your chest for a few hours. But the moment the sunlight peeks through the blinds, you know you can’t keep running from it. You have to face him.

Taehyung. The boy you once believed would be your forever, the one you trusted with everything. Only for him to break you over and over, each time with a message, a phone call, a need from her.

You send him a quick text, trying to keep your voice even. As if everything isn’t falling apart inside you.

[You]: We need to talk.

He replies almost instantly, as if he’s waiting for it.

[Taehyung]: Can I see you later?

You agreed to meet him at a small café near campus. You arrived first, sitting by the window, watching people pass by as you tried to clear your head. But the more you thought about it, the more your anger and frustration bubbled to the surface. You’d spent too much time justifying his actions, ignoring how you felt. But today? Today was different.

Taehyung walked in, looking like he’d barely slept the night before. His eyes were tired, and he looked like he was bracing for something. You didn’t smile when he sat down across from you, didn’t even try to pretend everything was fine.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice quiet and unsure. He was waiting for you to speak first, you could tell.

“Taehyung,” you started, your voice steady but carrying an edge you hadn’t expected.

“I’ve been thinking about everything.”

He shifted, his gaze flickering to his phone for a brief second before he set it down. But it wasn’t about his phone anymore. It was about the two of you, and he knew it.

“About… what?” he asked, though he already had an idea.

“I gave you another chance,” you said, leaning forward, your hands pressed against the table.

“But it’s like nothing has changed. Jisoo always needs something from you, and you always drop everything for her. The car problems, the boyfriend drama… everything. And I’m left standing here, waiting for you to even look at me.”

His face tightened, a flash of guilt crossing his features before he quickly masked it.

“Y/N, I… I’m sorry if you feel that way.”

“You’re sorry?” you said sharply.

“But I’m tired of hearing it. I’m tired of hearing that you’re sorry every time she calls. Every time she needs you.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but you raised your hand to stop him.

“Don’t,” you said, shaking your head.

“Don’t tell me you’re just being a good friend. I get that you want to help her, but I’m not an idiot, Tae. I can see it. Every time you’re with me, part of you is somewhere else. It’s with her.”

Taehyung’s eyes softened, and he reached across the table to take your hand. The gesture, usually so comforting, felt empty.

“I never meant to make you feel like you don’t matter,” he said quietly.

“But you do,” you whispered, the tears you’d been holding back finally stinging at the corners of your eyes.

“You make me feel like I’m not enough. Like I don’t deserve to be your priority.”

He looked at you, his face filled with regret. “I don’t want to hurt you, Y/N. I don’t want to make you feel that way. I just… I don’t know how to be there for everyone at once.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” you said, pulling your hand back.

“It’s not about being there for everyone. It’s about being there for me. And it’s like every time I need you, I’m not even a thought. Jisoo’s the one who gets that.”

“I never meant for you to feel second to her. You’re not second,” he said, his voice desperate.

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

“You’re sorry,” you repeated, your voice shaking.

“But it’s not enough, Taehyung. It’s never enough.”

The words hung heavily between you. You could feel the distance widening, the crack in your relationship growing with every passing second. You’d given him chance after chance, but the more you tried to ignore how much it hurt, the more you realized that you couldn’t keep pretending.

“I can’t keep doing this,” you said, your heart breaking with every word.

“I can’t keep being second place in your life. I deserve more than that.”

He leaned back in his chair, his eyes wide as if the reality of what you were saying hit him all at once.

“No, wait, please,” he said, reaching for you again.

“Don’t… don’t say that. I need you, Y/N. I’m trying.”

But the truth was, you didn’t feel like he was trying. You didn’t feel like he was putting in the effort you had been—the effort to truly make things work. And for the first time, you felt a clarity you hadn’t felt before.

“I’m not the one who needs to try, Taehyung,” you said softly. “You are. And until you figure that out, I don’t know if I can keep waiting.”

His expression faltered, his face crumpling with the weight of what you were saying. You could see it in his eyes: fear, confusion. But there was also something else.

Guilt.

And you weren’t sure you could keep carrying that burden for him.

The days following your decision to leave Taehyung felt like a blur. You moved back into your parents’ house, the familiar comfort of their home doing little to quell the storm inside you. You couldn’t stop thinking about him. About everything you’d been through, about the choices you’d made, and how hard it was to let go.

The days following your decision to leave Taehyung felt like a blur. You moved back into your parents’ house, the familiar comfort of their home doing little to quell the storm inside you. You couldn’t stop thinking about him. About everything you’d been through, about the choices you’d made, and how hard it was to let go.

[maeberzatto]

yours, cb. | carmen berzatto

summary: carmen writes a letter to you the day before he proposes, reflecting on your relationship.

wc: 1.02k | navigation post

rating: fluff, none! content warnings: none! if any need to be added lmk but as far as i know there are none:-)

“The first time I met you, I was so damn nervous. Richie told me you were back in town and I thought I was convinced that my first time meeting you, I’d screw it up somehow. Jumble all my words, forget my name. I almost did the first time I saw you. That night in the restaraunt with the only light on being one over a table by the fogged up windows. You still look so pretty under that light, you look pretty under anything. Richie told me, ‘she’s sweet’. Sweet doesn’t begin to describe you, angel. My angel.”

"Everything about you was.. so enchanting. I thought you were the prettiest girl I'd ever met. I never thought people could geniuenly fall in love at first sight, but with you, I realize what they're talking about when they say they laid eyes on their partner and they knew. From the moment I saw you I knew you were meant to be mine. And I yours."

You sat in your shared bedroom, your laptop in your lap as you scrolled through the numerous recipes Sydney had sent to you to review for the menu, since apparently you were hired as taste-tester. "What the hell is that?" You murmur to yourself as you stare at one of the dishes.

The front door opens and then swiftly closes, as you can hear footsteps approaching. You close your laptop just as Carmen appears a second later, practically jumping into your arms, laying his head on your chest. "Hi, bear. You okay?" You ask.

He lets out a soft "mm" as you begin running your hand through disheveled curls. "Just thought about you all day. Wanted to be here. That okay?" He checks, lifting his hand. You place a kiss on his head. "Carm, anytime you need, I'm here."

There's that grin again. There's that spike in his heartbeat when he looks at you, when he talks to you. The way he can feel himself falling deeper into love with you, no matter how long you've been together. There's a comfort in that, almost.

───

"The first time I kissed you, you may not have realized this (or you did any you're just too sweet not to say anything which totally sounds like you, babe) but I think my hands would have won an award for being the sweatiest palms, ever. You know when people say they feel fireworks when they kiss the person they love? I always thought they were being dramatic because until you, I hadn't felt that. But now I know what exactly they mean."

When Carmen wakes up and he realizes that you aren't there, he frowns. His favorite thing to do in the mornings when he wakes up before you do - which happens often - is to kiss you on the cheek and snuggle you for a few minutes before he has to pull himself away.

It isn't until he hears you humming down the hallway making your way back in that he smiles, sitting up to greet you. You come in, two mugs of coffee in hand. "Oh, hey, you're awake." You say, setting the mug down on his nightstand, kissing him before slipping back into your side of the bed, setting your coffee down.

Your phone buzzes in between you both, causing you to look down as your lock screen lights up with texts from Nat. "Am I your lockscreen?" He asks, recognizing the photo in the back. You smile at him, nodding. "Of course you are. You're my favorite person, Carm, why wouldn't you be?"

"And then our first date. The night I almost burned my apartment down because I was staring at you while the food cooked. How is it possible since that day you've gotten prettier? Well, I know the answer, it's because naturally you're gorgeous anyway. But each time I stare at you, it takes me back to that night in my apartment. Our apartment, we just had no idea it would become that then."

He kissed you right then, making you forget about Nat blowing up your phone. "You're my favorite person, too." He whispers against your lips as you smile, kissing him again.

───

"It's weird to think about, you know? How I'm going to propose to you tomorrow, and I'm writing this on old notebook paper, and you have no clue. Maybe it's silly of me to be writing this, it'll probably be some forgotten piece of paper. Or I'll read this to our future kids, if we ever have any, and tell them what I thought of their mom the first time I saw her: I was starstruck."

He looks over at you where you sleep, your arms wrapped around his torso where he sits up. He tries to keep still as he writes, not moving too much. He leans down, placing a kiss on the crown of your head.

"I can't wait to ask you to marry me tomorrow. To tell you everything I need to tell you, to ask you to be mine forever until death do us part. Mikey once learned Irish wedding vows (because of course he did), and I think it says what I can't. May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn't live a day without you."

His mind races with every memory he's shared with you. Looking around the bedroom you two share and have had so many laughs, tears and more in. The idea that he - a boy from Chicago with family issues who thinks he's an unlovable psycho - gets to marry you? Share a life with you, and maybe get to be the father of your children?

You're the one for him.

And for the rest of your lives, he doesn't know what he wants to be. But as for as long as you'd have him, he has an idea of what he wants to be.

"Yours, CB."

˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆｡˚꩜

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[monsterboness]

tissues

summary: y/n is sick at home alone while bill is away

pairing: bill skarsgård x female reader

warnings: fluff, illness, long-distance relationship, this gets pretty mushy in the middle

word count: 2052 words

a/n: i'm currently sick and my usual way of coping (besides medicine and sensible things) is to write sickfics, so here you go. also, i felt like this post needed some colour instead of the usual b&w/desaturated pictures i use

Nobody enjoyed being sick, but Y/N especially hated being sick when she was alone. She didn’t have anyone to complain to about how terrible she felt, and she didn’t have her boyfriend there to look after her either. All she wanted to do was fall asleep in Bill’s arms while he stroked her hair, but instead, she had to make do with cuddling a stuffed animal he bought her while her head felt like it was going to explode.

Her nose and ears were completely blocked, her lips were dry from breathing through her mouth all day, her sinuses hurt, and she felt like she’d swallowed a razor. She knew that she had to do more than just lie in bed feeling sorry for herself, but she would always be the first to admit that being sick turned her into a huge baby. It just wasn’t the same without Bill there to soothe her, make sure she was okay, and tease her.

Her body aching and her head under the covers, Y/N turned over in bed and reached out blindly to find her phone on her nightstand. Her fingers fumbled through a mountain of used tissues before she found the phone, and she pulled it back into her duvet cocoon. 

Light flooded her senses when she turned the screen on, her eyes immediately squinting shut as her headache intensified. She prised them back open to look at the time and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it wasn’t too late in the day to call Bill.

Thankfully, they were on the same time zone despite being in different locations, with Y/N being in their LA home and Bill being away for filming in Vancouver. He’d texted her earlier that morning to say that he wouldn’t be shooting late into the night, so she figured that it was as good a time as any to call him.

Maybe it was the illness messing with her emotions, but she wasn’t content with just sending him a text; she needed to hear his voice.

Trying to ignore how much her head pounded, Y/N squinted at her phone screen and tapped on Bill’s name in her contacts to call him, letting muscle memory do her job. As soon as she got a dial tone, she turned on the speaker and set the phone down on her chest as she lay on her back.

“Hey, baby,” Bill’s voice came out of the speaker, the best medicine money couldn't buy.

“Hey-” Y/N started to say before her breath caught in her throat and she broke out into a violent coughing fit. She felt like she was about to cough up a lung, and her throat stung with each barking cough.

Maybe lying on my back wasn’t the best idea, she thought.

“I would ask you how you are, but that just told me everything I need to know,” she heard him say once she’d regained her breath.

“I feel like shit, babe,” Y/N rasped, hoping that he could hear her over the noise in the background. It sounded like he was in a restaurant, judging by the sound of dishes and cutlery clinking together. “Are you out somewhere? Maybe I should call back later.”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll just go somewhere quieter,” he said. She heard him tell his companions that he’d be back later, and then the sound of his chair being pushed back from the table.

”Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you.”

The sounds of the restaurant got quieter and quieter as he moved through the room, presumably to go outside.

“I told you, it’s fine,” he said as a door closed behind him. Y/N could hear the faint sound of cars through the speaker, and her body relaxed slightly at knowing that he was alone with her. 

Well, almost alone.

“So, other than the obvious,” Y/N heard Bill say, his voice clearer now that he was somewhere quiet. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to talk.” 

She was glad that he couldn’t see her, but not even that could stop him from knowing that she wasn’t exactly telling him the truth.

“Y/N, I know when something’s wrong, and I know it’s not just that you’re sick.”

She took in a shaky breath and let it out slowly, her chest rattling. 

“I just really needed to hear your voice,” she rasped, her voice quiet, as if she was scared of anyone else hearing her. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, baby,” he sighed down the line. “I miss you all the time when I’m not with you.”

Y/N couldn't help but feel even more sorry for herself, knowing that Bill missed her just as much.

“When you go, it feels like you take a piece of me with you,” she said, her voice almost a whisper. “Sometimes I just want to be by your side all the time.”

“I know, baby,” Bill said, his voice soft and soothing like warm honey. “I sleep like shit when you’re not with me, I can't imagine how much worse it would be if I was sick.”

Her breath hitched in her throat again, and another coughing fit took over her body, making her phone fall off her chest with each jolt. She felt like she was being stabbed in the throat with each cough, and her headache came back in full force. She felt like her skull was going to crack open or her lungs were about to burst out of her chest, and she hated that Bill had to listen to it down the phone.

“I haven't been sick like this without you for a long time,” she said once she caught her breath, her voice croaking as her throat started to dry up again. “I miss being able to lie on your chest, I miss feeling you play with my hair. I even miss snapping at you for smoking around me when I'm sick.”

She heard him laugh breathily through the phone and her heart twisted, making her miss him even more. Her eyes drifted closed and she could immediately see him in her mind, his sharp features softened by his gentle smile. All she wanted at that moment was for him to hold her, to stroke her hair and kiss her forehead, but she had to settle for hoping that she would be able to dream about him later.

“You know, maybe you can come see me when you’re feeling better,” he said, pulling her attention back to him. “I know it’s short notice, but we can work something out.”

“Yeah,” she whispered as a smile crept over her face. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“I’d like that too.”

They were both quiet for a moment, Y/N listening to the cars going past down the line as her eyes started to grow heavy. Her body was still in pain and stuffy, but her soul felt like it had been healed already.

“I’ll let you get some sleep,” Bill eventually said as she heard him start to make his way back inside. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Okay,” Y/N croaked as she rolled over onto her side, her phone placed on the pillow next to her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Y/N ended the call and placed her phone back on her nightstand before settling back down to try to get some sleep. She should have gotten up to take some painkillers, but she just wanted to stay under the covers, trying to imagine Bill lying next to her, holding her close to his chest as he stroked her hair.

Thankfully, her imagination did just the trick, and she gently nodded off to a peaceful slumber, with her love waiting for her in her dreams.

Y/N didn’t feel much better physically the next morning, but being able to talk to Bill did wonders for her emotionally. Naturally, her cold didn’t disappear overnight, but none of that mattered now that she wasn’t feeling sorry for herself anymore.

She made sure to take all of her correct medicines and home remedies once she got up, and was about to send Bill a text later in the afternoon when she noticed a knock at the front door. Her joints aching, she got up from her spot on the couch and hobbled over to the door. When she opened it, she was greeted by a delivery driver holding a bouquet of bright yellow sunflowers. She signed for the bouquet and closed the door once the delivery driver had gone before heading into the kitchen to grab a vase for the flowers.

Bill had sent Y/N plenty of bouquets and flower arrangements throughout their time together, and each one was more beautiful than the last. The sunflowers were arranged quite simply, but she couldn’t help but feel that this was her favourite since it showed that he really was thinking about her while he was away.

As the vase filled with water from the kitchen sink, she read the card that was attached to the cardboard box the flowers were in, her heart lifting and a smile crawling over her face as she read the words.

Y/N, Sorry that you’re not feeling well. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon in Canada. All my love, B

Once the vase had been filled halfway, she took the flowers out of their box and moved them to the water, arranging them so that all of the stems got enough to drink. She snapped a quick photo of the bouquet before calling Bill, confident that it was late enough in the morning to talk to him.

“You work damn fast, do you know that?” Y/N said as soon as Bill answered his phone.

“I’ll take that to mean that you like them,” he said with a laugh.

“I love them.” She held her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she took the vase and placed it on the coffee table in the living room. “Thank you, babe.”

“It’s the least I can do to help you feel better while I’m away.”

Y/N could hear him moving around in what she presumed was his bathroom in Canada, water running in the background as his voice echoed slightly against the walls.

“How are you feeling today? Feel any better than yesterday?”

She sniffled briefly, her nose threatening to run before she could grab a tissue and wipe it.

“A little better,” she said, her voice muffled by the tissue over her nose. “I’m not in as much pain as I was, but I think that’s because of all the medicine I took.”

“That’s good. I worry about you when you’re alone, you know. And you not being well just makes me worry more.”

Her heart tugged at hearing him say that. Even after the many, many years that they’d been together, he still made her feel loved, wanted, and cared for. He was so sweet that she swore it would kill her sometimes.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Y/N said as she nestled into her den of cushions on the sofa. “I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, but I’m still going to worry a little. I just can’t help myself.”

“Hey, I’d do the same if you were sick while I wasn’t home.”

“And that’s part of why I love you.”

Y/N felt her face warm up at his words and resisted the urge to squeal like a lovesick schoolgirl. It was amazing that he still had that effect on her, even when he was in another country.

“Anyway,” Y/N said haultingly, trying to keep the conversation going while he got ready for his day. “What do you have going on today? Nothing too taxing, I hope.”

“I’m not on set today, so I’ve got plenty of free time.”

“Tell me about it, I’ve got just as much free time.”

She heard him laugh softly down the line and sank further into the cushions as she listened to him think aloud about his day, letting his voice soothe her and forget about her illness.

taglist: @muchwita @a-differentbrandof-beans

(let me know if you would like to be added to the list! 💕)

[luvkyu]

what are we? ( park jongseong/jay )

jay x male!reader

jay and his best friend define their relationship.

content : 1.5k words, fluff, high school!au, bub pet name toward reader

a long, drawn out yawn left y/n's mouth as he looked out of the window in his last class of the day. his closed palm supported his chin on top of his desk, completely spaced out.

"y/n?.. bub!"

y/n snapped of his trance to see his friend standing by his desk now.

"class is over?" y/n asked as he looked around to see everyone gathering their things. jay snickered and nodded.

"daydreaming again? you can borrow my notes again if you need to," jay offered. y/n clicked his tongue as he stuffed his books carelessly into his bag. jay smiled to himself, watching him struggle with the tetris game that is fitting everything into one bag.

"sorry that i don't really care when some not-really-that-important person in history took a shit in 1875 or whatever," y/n responded with another yawn.

jay rolled his eyes and stuck his hand out for his friend to take. y/n finally stood up from his desk before seeing the gesture. he happily took jay's hand as he swung his bag over his shoulder. jay then led the way out of the classroom, following other eager students who were ready to get home.

y/n felt his heartbeat intensify just like it always did when jay held his hand. no matter how many times he silently scolded himself, the feeling never went away. the pair had been friends since their first year of middle school, and y/n's feelings seemed to grow by the day. it didn't help that their peers would ask frequently if they were dating yet, as they were usually holding hands or displaying other kinds of affection. y/n always assumed jay just didn't care what others said or thought, but he was starting to grow desperate to know if the male really only saw him as a friend.

"oh hey, i forgot," jay's voice cut through the noise of the hallway while the two stopped at their lockers, "tonight is the film festival i told you about like a week ago. i know it's short notice, but do you wanna go with me?"

y/n's eyes brightened in excitement at the invitation. there was nothing he'd rather be doing on his friday night than spending time with jay.

"of course, that sounds fun!" he replied. jay nodded, turning his face away from the other to hide his smile.

"cool. well, i have a study group i'm meeting in five minutes, but i can pick you up later and we can go together?"

"sure, that works!"

jay closed his locker while nodding again at the reply. he ruffled y/n's hair fondly before putting his newly filled backpack on.

"i'll text you, bub."

y/n nodded and watched him turn to head toward the library. his nerves, as usual, were left a mess from the nickname jay frequently used. he finally looked away when jay turned a corner, out of sight. he then resumed moving the rest of his books and materials into his bag and closed his small locker door.

before turning to leave, he saw another friend skipping toward him energetically.

"woah, this is the first time i've seen you not with your boyfriend, y/n!" sunoo exclaimed, stopping in front of him. y/n rolled his eyes.

"not my boyfriend, sunoo."

"tsk, sure. not yet."

y/n scrolled through his instagram feed as the opening credits of a film began to play. he was now sitting on a blanket that jay had brought along to the festival. the male had just left to get them snacks and drinks, insisting that y/n stay and relax.

the weather was perfect for a movie night. there was a large screen set up and fairy lights streamed in a few places. many other people were scattered across the grassy hill with blankets and comfy chairs. y/n couldn't help but notice all the couples. he hadn't thought about the fact that the film festival would be filled with couples on dates. the idea of this being a date with jay then seeped into his mind, and it made chills go up his arms.

"okay, i got popcorn and some candy and drinks!" jay's eager voice brought the other out of his thoughts.

"oh, thank you," y/n responded. his cheeks now glowed with a bright pink, which didn't go unnoticed.

y/n watched jay sit down closely next to him, getting settled with the snacks. jay took another large blanket and draped it over their legs while y/n decided to brush off his thoughts for now. if he focused on such things, he knew he wouldn't be able to really enjoy their night together, date or not.

"you okay, bub?"

y/n looked at him and gave him a convincing smile.

"i'm fine!"

jay grinned at the cute response and nodded before the duo turned their attention to the screen and began eating.

throughout the movie, they managed to finish their popcorn and naturally move closer to each other without a thought. jay's arm soon hung around y/n's shoulder while the latter's head rested on his chest. this was nothing abnormal for the pair, having cuddled many times before, but something felt off. something different was in the air between them tonight and y/n couldn't decide if he was crazy or if jay could feel it too.

"open," jay said quietly as he held two pieces of candy in front of his friend's mouth. y/n smiled and obliged before jay fed him one piece and popped the second into his own mouth. y/n looked up at him, but jay's gaze was already turned back to the film.

y/n's line of sight suddenly landed on his other friend from a ways away. sunoo was comfortable with sunghoon on their own blanket, but sunoo's view was trapped on y/n and jay, making kissy faces toward them. y/n felt his anxiety rise, hoping jay wouldn't see.

to y/n's relief, sunghoon saw sunoo's teasing. unsurprised, he simply turned sunoo's head back to the screen and pat his head as if saying, 'now stay'. y/n made a mental note to thank sunghoon later.

eventually, the film finally ended and chatter filled the area. jay yawned lightly while y/n stretched in his arms.

"there's another one playing right?" y/n asked.

"yeah, but i think there's a small break before it starts."

y/n nodded and sat up to stretch a bit more. jay gazed at his friend, a little disappointed at the loss of closeness. he watched y/n run a hand through his hair and then check his phone for any notifications. jay felt mesmerized by the view, but could feel nervousness sprout in his chest. he didn't think this was how just friends were supposed to feel. he'd been unable to decipher his feelings in the past, but lately they'd become much clearer.

jay's thoughts were cut off as y/n set his phone down and went back to cuddle him. he now laid on top of jay with his head on his chest again, jay's hands going to play with his hair.

jay couldn't stop a smile from curving on his lips. he somehow felt his confidence bubble up in that moment, deciding to finally go for it. but before he could speak, y/n beat him to it.

"jay?"

"hm?"

"what are we?"

jay's heart skipped a beat.

"oh.. well," he paused. what exactly were they? y/n meant the world to him. he was the first person he thought of in the morning. he was the first person he shared good news with. y/n was just everything.

"we're best friends," jay finally said. he couldn't quite read y/n's reaction, but decided to continue anyways.

"but i'd like to be more."

y/n's face brightened now, a little shocked.

"really?? like.." he stopped while jay smiled again and nodded.

"like boyfriends," jay finished for him.

y/n's whole face went red, unable to stop his own smile now.

'boyfriends', he thought. the simple word ran on repeat in his head for a minute. this couldn't possibly be reality.

"boyfriends.. jay's boyfriend. y/n and jay boyfriends," y/n mumbled in awe. jay laughed lightly at his disbelief.

"you're so cute.. is that a yes, then? ..boyfriends?" jay asked. y/n finally looked at him again and nodded happily.

"boyfriends," he replied as he tightened his arms around him. jay quickly hugged him back as they laid on their blanket in content.

"y/n?"

the male looked up again at the sound of his name, meeting jay's gentle eyes.

"can i kiss you?" he asked. y/n's smile somehow grew even bigger. he nodded again before jay moved to press their lips together softly.

once separated, jay pulled their second blanket back over them as the next film's intro began playing. y/n's head rested on his chest again, not really caring much for the film as nothing could quite amount to the comfort of his new boyfriend.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 118 }

mind games.

modern au

ceo!sukuna x fem.secretary!reader

warnings: unedited; angst; alcohol use; s-xual content; sukuna is an as-hole; minors do not interact.

by choosing to interact with this 18+ content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings.

please listen to 'mind games' by sickick.

{ there's another side that you don't know, you don't know | i can't wait to get you all alone, all alone | once i'm in, there ain't no letting go, letting go | watch me turn your mind into my home. }

that asshole boss of yours had piled on a bunch of new reports to sort through, making you late for the lunch date that you had with nanami.

when 12:45 hit, you had to send an apology text to nanami, telling your coworker that you didn't think you'd be able to join him at the cafe. being the sweet and understanding man that he was, he tells you not to worry about it, and maybe you'd be available next time.

you look down at your phone with a smile on your face. nanami kento was a good man, and you liked and respected him a lot. you had just recently began hanging out outside of work, and you could honestly see yourself building a future with him-

if only your heart could respond to nanami the same way it did to him.

not wishing to acknowledge your emotions, you quickly logout of your computer before grabbing your wallet and making a mad dash towards the elevator. if you could reach the cafeteria right now, then you'd have 10 minutes left for lunch, which was enough time to wolf down a sandwich and a drink.

with the elevator in sight, you were grateful that it opened immediately as you entered it. your fingertip was poised over the second floor when the sight of a large hands stops the metal doors from closing-

and you felt all of your appetite dissipate into thin air the moment your boss stepped into the elevator with you.

sukuna ryomen was a man who's presence you could not ignore even if you wanted to. pushing well past 6'5" in height, the ceo towers over you with ease, and when his rufescent eyes captures your wide-eyed expression, your swore his chuckle was enough to make your knees weak.

your heart was already pounding, with the elevator doors closing as it trapped the scent of his cologne within its metal confines. you could hear the way he hummed with approval, sending slight vibrations coursing through you as he says your name.

"you did well today, not a single report was filed out of place and you worked diligently with my schedule."

you reply with a stiff "thank you," not daring to look at him as you kept your gaze forward, counting down the numbers as it began its gradual descent towards your destination.

20...19...

before the numbers could flash the number 18, you saw sukuna from your periphery activate the emergency stop switch, stopping the elevator from moving as you let out a gasp.

"what the hell are you-"

you face him, feeling half livid yet more so lustful than anything as sukuna traps you against the wall. his surname falls from your lips in a flustered stutter, and because of how close he was to you, you were given the perfect view of his tailored suit and the way his broad chest was keeping you from looking away from him.

his slick back strands of pale red hair gave you the perfect view of his devastating features, ruby red eyes darkening as its gaze seemed to hypnotize you. you could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks, and nearly jolted back in response when the back of his achingly large hand sent a gentle caress against your cheek.

"because you worked so well, i believe my little pet deserves a reward..."

you were unable to respond when sukuna lifts up one of your legs, brushing past your skirt as his large fingers were felt shoving your panties to the side. you gasp, given no choice but to hang on to his bicep when you felt the pad of his middle finger collect the moisture that was settled between your legs.

you were trembling now, already physically aching for him when you felt his finger push past your slickness before exploring your gummy walls. the embarrassment you felt was nothing compared to the growing flame sukuna was giving you, the squelching sounds he was making as he shamelessly thrusts his finger in and out of your core.

"damn, you're practically sucking me in..." sukuna hisses in your ear, forcing you back against the elevator walls as you unconsciously spread your legs even wider for him.

your release was quickly approaching, and when he was able to press down against that swollen bundle of nerves was when you lost all control. with a broken moan of his name, you felt your walls tightening around his large finger before soaking it with your release.

by now, you were a trembling mess, gazing up at him with a drunk expression. your breathing was labored, like you had just finished running a marathon while sukuna gave you the same smug expression.

as he removes his finger away from your folds, you could see how shiny you had made it, watching it glisten from beneath the light for a brief second before sukuna opens his mouth and licks it away.

a groan was heard once more, and you felt his body shiver at the mere taste of you. "fuck, you taste s' sweet. and 's much as i want to devour you, i have a meeting to attend to."

acting as if he had not just given you the best orgasm of your life, sukuna straightens himself while letting go of your leg. you momentarily lose your balance, landing against him as a deep chuckle was heard coming from him. he pushes another button, bringing the elevator back to life as it begins its descent once more.

when the elevator doors open, you felt sukuna nudging at your back, signaling that it was your stop. with shaky legs, you come out of the elevator and meet his gaze.

you watch as his face breaks out into a malicious grin, sending your heart into overdrive as the elevator doors shut once more, leaving your mind reeling from the events that had just transpired.

{ ... }

to say your mind was preoccupied with nothing but thoughts of sukuna would be the understatement of the century.

you had returned to your desk not too long ago, your mind still replaying that delicious scene in your head as your damp panties served as a reminder of what sukuna had done to you.

fighting back the heat that was threatening to dye your skin, you take careful bites of the granola bar you had bought at the cafe with tiny sips of your water. your appetite was still nonexistent, and you found yourself wondering just what you were to sukuna.

you had worked under him and his company for roughly 2 years now, and it was sad to say that your feelings for him hadn't changed in the slightest. when you interviewed for the position of being his secretary, you recall being struck at the mere sight of him. he was by far the most beautiful man you had ever laid your eyes on, and the crush you once had for him seemed to morph into something more.

yet, deep down, you knew that if you were to ever to act on your feelings for him, then you were the one who was going to get burned.

so you kept your distance, remaining ever so professional with sukuna as you held back your feelings for him. during the time, you would go on random dates here and there with other men, yet none of them ever amounted to anything true and meaningful.

but this- this was something completely different. for once in your 2 years of working for him, this was the one time he had shown such an interest in you. you hadn't the slightest clue why he did what he did-

and yet, you found yourself not caring either way.

it was completely stupid for your to say, but you truly didn't mind just having a physical relationship with him, even if the times he would hold you in his arms would forever be ephemeral and fleeting.

as you were wallowing in your misery, you jump slightly upon hearing your text tone. you unlock your screen to see that nanami had texted you.

[ hey, it's okay if we missed lunch together. how about i make it up to you with dinner tonight at 8? ]

your thumbs were already poised over the keypad, ready to turn down his offer for dinner because deep down, you did not wish to lead a good man like nanami on. you knew that your heart would never sing for him like it did for sukuna, and the events that transpired between you and him was more than enough proof of that.

while opening his text, in that exact moment sukuna was seen walking in. you could hear his laughter echoing throughout the floor as you lifted your gaze to see a gorgeous woman with prominent ebony curls and an hourglass figure clinging to his arm.

you could feel your heart breaking into a million pieces, watching as the dark haired beauty kisses down his jawline. sukuna meets with your gaze and flashes you yet another smirk before replacing it with a stern expression.

"block out 3 hours from my schedule and do not accept any calls for meetings at this time. i'll assume that someone as competent and capable as you should be able to do this?"

"absolutely, sir." was your stiff reply, willing your features to remain neutral as sukuna disappears with the beauty into his office.

how you survived the next couple of hours was beyond even your own comprehension. not even ten minutes had passed when you could hear the woman's laughter quickly morphing into a drawn out moan, coupled along with sukuna's occasional grunts.

fighting back your tears, you open nanami's texts and give him your answer.

[ dinner at 8 sounds great. do i need to go home and change or anything? ]

[ not at all. i'll see you later and we'll enjoy some time together. ]

you refused to acknowledge the sharp pain in your heart, alerting you on how wrong it was to even think about using nanami as a band-aid for your pain, yet once you heard the woman cry out to sukuna, begging him to go harder, you lost all reasoning.

all you wanted to do was forget.

{ ... }

it was like he was playing games with you, and you weren't sure what to do or even how to respond.

this went on for the next several months, with sukuna finding a new woman to keep him company during the later hours of the working day. every time, before he would disappear into the confines of his office, he would flash you another smug expression, as if he wanted you to listen to him and his current conquests.

your heart would ache each time, yet despite it all, you still held on to each and every one of his expressions he sends you.

ever since that time in the elevator, sukuna had ceased touching you. and the memory of it was enough to drive you insane. each time sukuna invited a new woman into his office, you would inevitably run into nanami's arms.

even when you had come clean to nanami, explaining to him how you did not deserve him; that you were simply basking in his company to assuage the pain you felt each time sukuna bedded a new woman, nanami admitted that he didn't mind waiting for you.

he would simply take you in his arms, allowing his hands to run across your hair while comforting you. "it's alright. you have become immensely dear to me, and i'll wait for you."

when you asked him what he would do if you could never return his feelings, nanami simply gives you a tiny smile. "then i'll simply pray that the bastard returns your feelings for your sake. until then, you can always come to me, okay?"

you recall hugging him while letting out a tearful laugh, embracing him while admitting, "i really wished i could have fallen in love with you instead."

nanami simply laughs, returning your hug as he presses a gentle kiss against your cheek while answering, "me too."

{ ... }

the moment you walked into your office, the whole workplace was ablaze with gossip, and you caught some tidbits here and there.

"i can't believe mr. ryomen is going to get married."

"i mean, it's to be expected. that woman is pretty much the heiress of the pharmaceutical company he wants to merge with."

your breathing suddenly becomes labored, and you take shaky steps towards your coworkers and ask them what they were talking about. haruka gives you a wide grin and shows you her phone's screen.

"see! it's true! the reason why the big man himself isn't here is most likely because he's going to make an announcement about his engagement!"

the blood was felt rushing to your ears, and all you could see was the bolded headlines that read:

arisa towryk of towryk pharmaceuticals confirms her future engagement to sukuna ryomen!

you take a shaky step backwards, making some excuse about how you weren't feeling well and if your coworkers could tell h.r. about your sudden departure. haruka gives you a confused expression, but simply nods and agrees to your sudden request. giving her a clipped 'thanks,' you immediately rush out of the building.

the sounds of your high heels rapidly tapping against the marble floors of the lobby echoes throughout the area, and you had to cover your face as you allowed the tears to stream down your face. broken sobs were heard becoming ripped from your throat, yet the pain you felt was unbearable.

you needed to do something- anything to numb the pain-

you wanted to do something that would help you forget all about sukuna-

even if it was only for a brief moment.

{ ... }

being fueled by your heartache, your feet takes you to a nearby bar just a few blocks away from where you worked. you settle yourself against one of the barstools while tossing your bag beside you. the bartender gives you a mild expression of concern, already getting a glass for you.

"you had a rough day, lady?"

you shake your head, refusing to answer him while taking out your card, "give me the strongest drink that you own, and keep them coming."

the bartender shrugs while taking your card, already filling up three glasses with an amber liquid. he settles the shot glasses in front of you, and you take down all three drinks within seconds. relishing in the burn you felt as it slid down your throat.

you lost track of time, taking shot after shot after shot of the same amber liquid, willing your mind to go blank as the world became a bit more tilted. when the alcohol was beginning to make you sick, the bartender had stopped serving you drinks, actually showing concern for you as he slid your card back to you.

"listen, lady, i think you had enough. you need to go home and get some rest."

his words sounded muffled, like you were hearing him from underwater. incoherent words were felt spilling from your lips, and you couldn't stop yourself from crying.

this was a mess.

you were a mess.

with shaky fingers, you tried to keep yourself together, opening your phone as you searched for nanami's number.

"do you need me to call a ride home for you?"

you shake your head and call the one man you knew you could count on, and felt so grateful when he picked up on the second ring.

you hear him call out your name in a panicked voice, "are you alright? where are you? i got so worried when everyone was telling me you went home...!"

"k-ken, i need your help. don't feel so good at all..." in your drunken state, you manage to tell nanami the name of the bar you were residing in.

"i'll be there in ten minutes, just hang on tight and wait for me."

you allow the tears to fall, sliding the phone away from you as you hid your head within the crook of your arm. your head was pounding, and you felt so dizzy all of a sudden.

throughout it all, you could hear the bartender asking if you were okay, if you needed help going home again, but you found yourself being unable to answer him. luckily, it didn't take nanami that long to arrive as you could hear the familiarity of his comforting voice right beside.

"it's going to be alright, i'm here, i'm here."

wish i could love you, i really wanted to love you.

"i know."

you weren't sure if those were your thoughts, or whether you had said them out loud, but you didn't care.

i still love him.

the sensation of arms tightening around you was felt, and you were close to falling when nanami helped with steadying you.

"i know that, too. now come on, i'll take you home."

your mind was still blurry, but you couldn't deny how refreshing it felt to feel the cold night air against your skin. you take in a deep breath, ready to go home when nanami suddenly stops in his tracks.

your drunken mind had failed to notice someone blocking nanami's way. you could hear the anger in his voice, yet all you could see was the person's jet black dress shoes directly below you. the nausea you were trying to hold back ends up failing, and you end up letting out a great heave, expelling all of the contents of alcohol from your stomach.

because you hadn't eaten a single meal and spent the next several hours drinking your sorrows away, you allowed your body to purge itself of the alcohol that was circulating within you. when you were sure that you were emptied, you felt your consciousness slowly slipping away from you.

a panicked voice was crying out to you, yet you were already out the moment a pair of powerful arms had carried you away, allowing the darkness to overtake you.

{ ... }

the headache you were feeling was intense, but you were dimly aware of being in a car as your form was strapped onto the passenger seat. believing that it was nanami that was driving you home, you apologize to him.

"i'm sorry for puking on you."

"it's fine."

strange...the voice sounded a lot deeper than nanami's. it had a hoarser, and more raw quality to it. believing that it was just the drunken state of your mind, you sigh and decided to be honest with the man that had become your sole confidant through it all.

"it was stupid of me...drinkin' so much. but...i was hurt, you know?"

you clench your eyes shut, recalling the pain you felt upon reading about sukuna's engagement. "i worked with that asshole for two years, and my stupid heart still loved him, even when i knew deep down he would never give me the time of day."

"but when...when he...touched me, literally invaded the entirety of my mind, i thought he actually felt something for me."

you shake your head, allowing the tears to fall once more as you cry out, "but i was so stupid; all he saw in me was something to play with, another plaything like all the women he's invited to his office right in front of my face."

in the midst of your rant, you realized that nanami hadn't said a single word, making you open your eyes. "nanami, why aren't you-"

"do you love him after all?"

with the tiniest bit of clarity returning to your senses, you really took the chance to look at him, only now realizing that it was sukuna who was settled at the driver's seat. the car had stopped moving several minutes ago, yet he remained silent, listening to each and every word you had said.

your heart was pounding now, feeling mortified at the realization that you had confessed everything to the one man that had broken your heart. he says nothing, simply meeting your gaze before exiting his car.

by now, you were unsure of what to do. before you were given a chance to act, sukuna opens the passenger door and releases you from the seatbelt. he remains silent, reaching over to you as he picked you up and held you in his arms.

you could see the view of his gorgeous mansion as various lights lit the way to his entrance. the alcohol was out of your system as you slowly began to sober up, the pulsing ache within your head turning dull as sukuna entered his home with you still in his embrace.

he heads towards his bedroom, walking into the master bathroom before settling your trembling form against the floor. sukuna was still silent as he strips himself of his ruined shoes and suit, not stopping until he was completely bare for your eyes to feast upon.

you tried to ignore the familiar heat against your cheeks, looking away from him only to be stopped by sukuna's hand settled on your chin. his smirk was prominent, but it seemed less harsh now, as if softened by that expression seen in his rufescent eyes that you had never seen before.

he places his large hands over your clothes and slowly begins to strip them away from you. still feeling your emotions running high for him, you allow him to undress you until you were just as bare as him. he takes your hand and leads him towards the glass shower, allowing you to stand beneath the spray first.

you moan upon feeling the hot water hitting at your skin, washing away the bitter taste that was left in your mouth. with a grunt, sukuna takes a bit of shampoo and washes your hair, allowing your back to meet with his broad chest.

while he was thoroughly washing you, you could feel his chapped lips running against the expanse of your skin. from your shoulder to the curve of your neck, you tremble at the sensation while letting out a soft moan.

the sound was enough to make something deep within sukuna snap as he calls out your name. you were uncertain as to how it happened, but one moment, you were simply standing beneath the shower spray, washing off the last bit of shampoo from your locks of hair-

and in the next moment, you were pressed against the damp shower walls with sukuna kneeling before you. he takes a hold of both of your legs, allowing them to settle against his broad shoulders as he presses a kiss against your inner thighs, as if silently apologizing to you in his own way.

without wasting another second, sukuna dives into your slick flower, allowing his tongue to run up and down your folds as your hands automatically went to his hair. with the water cascading down on him, you felt yourself losing all resistance to him as the droplets ran down his gorgeously sculpted body.

if you thought his fingers worked absolute magic on you, then you were immediately sent to heaven when you could feel sukuna's tongue reaching deep inside of you. the pleasure you felt was red-hot and all-consuming, turning your mind blank as you arched your back against the slick shower walls.

"s-sukuna!" your release came even faster than before, perhaps due to the fact that you had been yearning for him this whole time. the moment you spilled your sweetness into his mouth, sukuna took the time to lap up all you had to offer with a guttural groan.

when sukuna was sure he had swallowed all evidence of your release was when he stood back to his full height. he shuts off the shower and takes you in his arms, making you moan when you felt his erection brushing up against your thighs.

"fuck, i didn't know how much i missed the taste of you..." he admits with a grunt while throwing you over his shoulder. neither of you seemed to mind how the water was dripping from both of your forms as sukuna tossed you against the edge of his king-sized bed.

you land against the plush mattress with a bounce, with sukuna settling himself between your legs as he worked on stroking himself to full hardness. his eyes were completely dilated, darkened with lust and what you realized was complete adoration for you before pushing himself into you.

you cry out and arch your body once more against his bed, feeling your slickness take him inch by inch, the sensation of it all taking your breath away until sukuna was buried to the hilt inside of you. you could feel his large hand touching at the slight bulge seen within your abdomen, letting out a dark chuckle before he began moving in and out of you.

he slides himself almost completely out of you before slamming his hips back in, making you cry out even more as all you could think of was the addicting feeling of his cock buried deep within you. he does not cease his movement, choosing instead to lean down as he fucked you into his bed.

"i thought about you deservin' more, you know?" he completes his statement with another powerful thrust, making you let out a choked moan in response. "i thought that bastard kento could be a good husband for you and do all that shit a good husband would do for a good woman like you-"

his pace turns faster now, becoming more relentless as he lets out a dark laugh, "but thinking about another man touching you drove me to the brink of insanity. i remember hearing you talk about going to lunch with that bastard, and i knew i had to stop you or else my jealousy would have killed him."

he groans before taking a hold of one of your legs, standing up as he tosses your leg over his shoulder while continuing his quick pounds inside of you. "yeah, i know i was hurtin' you, but i wanted to control you- play mind games with you so that you couldn't think of any other man but me."

sukuna's thrusts had become so prominent that his movements were enough to make your breasts bounce in response. "all those women you heard me fuckin' was a way to get you out of my head. each time i buried myself in them, i was thinkin' of you."

"oh, and that engagement? that's not happening. arisa is just a brat that wants to own everything she knows she can't have. i only have a partnership with her father and his company."

upon hearing his confession followed along with another thrust angled just right, you let out a moan, managing to lift you hands as you raked your nails down his chest in response. "you're a fucking bastard, you know that?"

"yeah?" sukuna lets out another chuckle while giving you a smug expression, kissing at your ankle as he kept on impaling his cock deep inside of you. "but i know you wouldn't want me any other way."

he was breathing heavily now, and you could feel him growing inside of you before he allows his large hands to play with your hardened bud, "come for me, be a good little dove and come for me."

as if your body was attuned to his voice, you felt an intense wave washing over you, making you see stars as your release was felt consuming you whole. with another grunt, sukuna leans down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, swallowing your moans as you felt him twitch inside of you, painting your walls white with his seed.

your body felt so light, and the pleasure was certainly not helping with the sudden exhaustion you now felt. you were completely content, body turning slack when sukuna pulls out of you with a grunt.

you let out a mewl when he picks you up and settles your body on top of his bed, allowing him to settle between your leg as he laps up the evidence of your respective release. a soft sound of protest escapes from your lips, yet sukuna continues to clean your sensitive core, not stopping until he was satisfied.

when he was finished with cleaning you, he takes you in his arms with a grunt and places you on his chest. you were close to falling asleep, but managed to catch his whispered words-

"you belong to no one else but me."

{ watch me turn your mind into my home | mind - mind games until you lose control... until you lose control. }

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.