#the way i wrote this because it's so cold where i live rn

[libingan]

—escapism.

cw: cheating, age gaps, ooc simon because this was kind of rushed sorry babes, erm ig emotional neglect ??? idk how to tag warnings JSJDWJSJW

a/n: not my best work, but like, im having writer’s block rn so i just wrote the first thing that came to mind because i feel like i need to post something for yall HAAHAHAHAHA

as always, part two depends on how much this fic eats

you could feel the tension crackling in the air as you and your boyfriend faced off in your cramped living room. the argument had started small—another forgotten dinner, a dismissive comment—but it quickly escalated into a full-blown fight. his words were sharp, and his eyes, once warm, were cold and distant.

“you never fucking listen!” you yelled, your voice raw with frustration. “i’ve been trying to get you to notice me for months, but you’re always too busy with your own shit!”

he scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. “i’m tired of your whining. what do you want me to do, huh? i work hard and all you do is complain!”

“i want you to care!” you snapped back, feeling the sting of betrayal. “i want you to actually touch me, to know what i need, not just what you think you know!”

he threw his hands up in exasperation, his face hardening. “fine! if you’re so unhappy, maybe you should just leave!”

his words cut deeper than any physical blow could have. you felt a surge of anger and hurt. “maybe i fucking will!” you shouted, grabbing your coat and storming out, the door slamming behind you with a deafening bang. the sound echoed in the empty hallway as you rushed to your own place.

in the dimly lit sanctuary of your apartment, you stared at yourself in the mirror, your reflection a mixture of rage and sadness. determined to reclaim some control over your life, you pulled out your most daring outfit—something that made you feel powerful and fierce. the tight, low-cut dress hugged your curves, and the bold makeup accentuated your defiance.

you headed to a bar, a place where anonymity and distraction offered some solace. the bar was loud and crowded, but you walked in with a purposeful stride. you ordered a strong drink and let the warmth of the alcohol begin to soothe your frayed nerves. it wasn’t long before you felt the eyes of others on you, their gazes filled with various levels of interest.

that’s when you noticed him—the man staring right at you. he was seated alone at the far end of the bar, his rugged features partially obscured by a black surgical mask. despite the mask, there was something compelling about him. he seemed a lot older, but his presence was commanding and intriguing. his gaze was intense, even if you couldn’t see his expressions clearly.

you found yourself drawn to him, not just by his looks but by the way he seemed to command the space around him. you hesitated for a moment, then made your way over, the alcohol giving you just enough courage.

the man looked up from his drink as you approached, his gaze piercing yet inviting. “evening,” he greeted, his voice a gravelly whisper that sent a shiver down your spine. "rough night?"

you signal the bartender to bring you another shot before turning to the man, an exhausted expression plastered onto your face. "you have no idea."

the bartender arrived with your drink, setting it down in front of you. before he could leave, the man next to you gestured to him with a firm yet polite command. "put the lady's drink on my tab," he said, his voice carrying a hint of mystery. a slight smile played on his lips as he glanced at you, his eyes intense and unreadable. the bartender nodded and moved on, leaving you feeling a mix of surprise and curiosity about this intriguing stranger.

"simon riley," he introduced himself with a nod. you offered your name in return, extending your hand for a handshake. he gladly took it, lifting his mask just enough to expose his lips before planting a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.

"i have a boyfriend," you stated. simon chuckled in response, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "not a very good one if you're out here, no?"

you hesitated for a moment, but simon's easy confidence made it hard to stay reserved. as the conversation flowed, you found yourself laughing and sharing stories, your initial wariness melting away. there was an undeniable chemistry between you, a connection that felt natural and effortless.

simon had a way of making you feel seen and heard, his attention unwavering as he listened to you speak. he shared glimpses of his own life, his stories filled with adventure and depth. with each passing moment, you felt more alive, the weight of your earlier frustrations lifting.

you couldn't remember the last time you felt this way with your boyfriend. the spark, the excitement, the genuine interest—it had all been missing for so long. being with simon reminded you of what it felt like to be truly connected with someone, to feel that electric thrill of mutual attraction.

as the evening wore on and the alcohol worked its magic, you found yourself relaxing. after a few more drinks, the liquid courage made you more open. simon’s patient listening and calming presence encouraged you to open up.

as the night deepened and the bar's ambiance grew more intimate, you found yourself opening up to simon in a way you hadn't with anyone in a long time.

"my boyfriend... he's been so emotionally distant lately," you admitted, swirling your drink as you gathered your thoughts. "he's not as loving as he used to be. it's like he's more focused on his own world, and i'm just an afterthought."

simon listened intently, his eyes never leaving yours. "that sounds tough," he said softly. "you deserve to feel loved and appreciated."

you nodded, grateful for his understanding. "it's been hard. sometimes, it feels like i'm invisible to him. we haven't been intimate in what feels like forever. i almost feel like a virgin again because it's been so long since we last had sex."

simon raised an eyebrow, a hint of curiosity and concern in his gaze. "that must be really frustrating."

"it is," you sighed. "and the last time we did... he couldn't even find the clit. it was awkward and disappointing. it made me feel like he doesn't really care about my needs."

simon’s eyes remained locked on you, his presence steady and unyielding. “that sounds incredibly frustrating. it’s like he’s stopped making an effort to connect with you.”

“exactly!” you exclaimed, frustration spilling out. “it’s like he’s not even trying. i feel invisible, and he doesn’t even care. it’s like i’m just a roommate or something.”

simon’s voice was low and soothing. “you deserve more than that. it’s clear you’re looking for someone who actually cares and pays attention to what you need.”

simon leaned in closer, his presence radiating warmth and intensity. his hand, firm yet gentle, rested on your thigh, sending a shiver up your spine. “you know,” he said softly, his voice carrying a seductive edge, “i’d like to get to know you better. i can’t stand seeing you so unhappy.”

his fingers traced a light, deliberate path on your skin, the touch both comforting and thrilling. “why don’t you come home with me tonight? we can talk more, and I’d love to help you thryou hesitated, feeling a mix of curiosity and caution. “i don’t know, simon. you’re clearly older than me, and we’ve just met. it feels a bit... risky.”

simon’s gaze remained steady, his hand still gently resting on your thigh. “how old are you?” he asked, his voice calm and composed.

“i’m 27,” you replied.

“27,” simon repeated, his tone neutral. “you’re pushing thirty, not some freshly eighteen little girl. you’re a grown woman who can make her own decisions.” he paused briefly. “could show you a good time, love, make you feel things your little boy toy can't. i'm only 42, you know. is that too old for you?"

you thought to yourself that yes, it might be too old, but right now? with the hurt and desperation for someone who would actually treat you right? you found yourself saying, “no, it’s not too old. yes, I’d like that.”

that's how you ended up in simon's apartment bedroom, naked and lost in the throes of pleasure.

simon's got you on your back, legs hooked over his shoulders, his head buried in between your thighs, mouth working overtime against your dripping cunt. he keeps his gaze on you the entire time, watching your expression contort in pleasure as he parts your lips with his thumb, pressing the pad of his tongue against your sensitive clit, swiping the muscle side to side. you let out a soft moan, hands tangled in simon's dirty blonde locks, pushing his head down further.

"fuck-! just like that, please, feels so good..." you mewl, causing him to groan, his own hips rutting against the sheets, staining the fabric with his pre as he greedily sucked on your sensitive, pulsating nub.

you missed this. this overwhelming feeling of pleasure that hinders your thinking, preventing any coherent thought from entering your mind. you couldn't think, see, nor feeling anything aside from the heat pooling deep inside of you. if simon could unravel you this much with his mouth, how much more damage would he be able to do with his cock?

the thought alone was enough to send you over the edge, but just as you were about to let the feeling override your senses, simon pulls back and sat up, the lower half of his face covered in your arousal, a slick sheen coating his lips and his chin. "fuckin' delicious," he grunts, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

you let out a needy whine at that, lightly kicking simon for edging you. "you're an ass..." you grumbled, to which the older man responds to with an amused chuckle. "won't be sayin' that when i fuck you with this thing." he says, grabbing his thick cock and resting it on your belly. you gawk in awe at his size, swallowing the lump in your throat. how the hell were you going to fit that inside?

"it'll fit." simon mutters, as if reading your mind.

he reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing the small condom packet next to his lamp. he rips off the foil with his teeth, hurriedly slipping it on to his dick. simon's hands grip your hips, pulling you closer to him. he grabs his cock with one hand, dragging it up your slit, rubbing the fat head against your clit a couple of times before positioning himself against your entrance. "ready?"

"hurryyy...' you whine.

slowly, simon began to sink his girth into your pussy, stretching you out with his fat cock to a point where pain collided with the pleasure. you clutched onto his arm, a shuddering breath escaping you.

"that's it, love," he said, voice raspy and strained as he inched further inside of you, "good girl, taking me so well... just a little more, okay?"

you nod. it's all you could bring yourself to do as simon finally bottomed out. he lets out a grunt, gently rocking his hips into you. he kept a steady rhythm, taking his time with each thrust. the slow, agonizing pace drove you wild, especially after he denied you an orgasm just a few minutes prior.

"bloody fuckin' hell..." simon groans, inhaling sharply as your walls hugged snugly around his cock. "not gonna last long if you're this tight, love," he whispers, burying his face into the crook of your neck, nipping at your skin. a desperate whimper escapes your lips, legs wrapping around simon's waist as you complain about his pace. "faster, please... i can't, it's not enough..."

simon simpers, pulling back just enough to leave the tip inside before slamming back into your warm cunt, ripping out a loud moan from your mouth. "that what you want, love?" he asks smugly.

"fuck yes—again! fuck, do it again, please!"

who was simon to deny such a pretty litte thing?

his thrusts begin to accelerate, slamming into you frantically, driving his cock in and out of your tight, wet heat. "fuck, si—ah, shit!" you whimpered, eyes watering with each pound.

simon's hand reaches down, rubbing his thumb against your clit in circles. "does your boyfriend fuck you this good?" he growled, reveling in the way you seemed to tighten up around him at the question. "fucking answer." he demanded, delivering a single hard thrust, causing his tip to kiss your cervix. you cried out at the intensity, shaking your head, sputtering out incomprehensible words with each slam of his cock into your pussy. "gotta him bring him over then. show him how to treat a pretty little girl like you."

simon's previously rhythmic thrusts were now eratic, hips slapping into yours haphazardly, his hand beginning to ache with each circle of his thumb on your nub.

it didn't take long until you were finally teetering over the egde. you threw your head back, "simon, i'm almost—SIMON!"

with a loud cry and a final roll of simon's hips, you both reached your peak. simon let out a strained groan, releasing into the condom. he leaned forward, sighing, and rested his forehead against your shoulder blade.

for a few seconds, you lay in motionless silence, the sound of your shaky breaths filling the space as you both tried to regain your composure.

“jesus christ,” simon eventually groaned, pressing a brief kiss to your shoulder. “you felt amazing.” he then gently eased himself out of you and rolled onto his side, lying next to you. “your boyfriend’s really missin’ out,” he added.

as you lay there, your eyes flickered to your phone, which had been buzzing non-stop. simon noticed your distracted glance and asked, “boyfriend?”

before you could respond, he reached over, snatching the phone from your hand. with a decisive motion, he placed it back on his nightstand, out of reach. he turned back to you, pulling you closer with a firm, yet gentle embrace.

“let’s not think about him,” he said, his voice low and inviting. “tonight’s about you and me.” he nuzzled closer, his touch warm and insistent. “how about we see if we can make this night even better?”

with that, he guided you back into his arms, ready for round two, the promise of a deeper connection hanging in the air. as the night unfolded, the two of you lost yourselves in each other, making love with a renewed sense of passion and intimacy.

meanwhile, your phone continued to buzz with missed calls and texts from your boyfriend, each notification a reminder of the unresolved tension. but for tonight, you chose to ignore it all, focusing instead on the moment with simon and savoring the connection and pleasure that had been so absent. after all, wasn't it his idea for you to leave?

[basic204]

ok so last night i had THE weirdest dream and when i told my friends about it, one of them got all serious and was like "you need to get some iron" (cold iron? wrought iron? idk which but apparently it's Important™)

so in this dream i'm chatting with the Cheshire Cat and they're telling me about this place called The Never Was. apparently i needed to go there to find... something? but here's the wild part - to find whatever it was, i had to become the actual KING of Never Was??

the whole concept of The Never Was is honestly living rent free in my head rn because it's like... imagine a place filled with every unfinished story, every half-baked invention, every random 3am thought someone had but never did anything with. Cheshire told me that's why my brain keeps spitting out story ideas - apparently i've got some weird connection to this place?? like when i zone out and my mind wanders, i'm actually walking through The Never Was, picking up stories or making new ones, and just... leaving them there.

Cheshire said it's this infinite space but it gets smaller whenever people actually create or discover stuff... but then it grows again with new undiscovered things? and then they started getting really cryptic, talking about how they've been around since humans first started having random thoughts. they've got all these names throughout history like "the Vanishing Queen" and "the One Who Wins" (very ominous tbh)

and get THIS - they said the Milky Way? that pretty streak of stars in the sky? it's actually a WOUND from where they took a BITE out of the UNIVERSE??? they told me another name for themself too but it's completely slipped my mind. i wrote it down somewhere and if i find it i'll make another post.

but yeah now i can't stop thinking about The Never Was and what it means and honestly?? kinda valid that my friend is worried about the fae coming after me 😅

Also I finally remembered the other name she gave me I'm going to try to spell it from how it sounded

Bashasti-Uri

Anyone know what that means?

One of my other friends things I should take that dream and write it out into a story which I think might be fun

[hergrandplan]

For the WIP game: Right Where You Left Me ☺️

oooh right where you left me, my love that I fear might never see the light of day though it should at one point

Right Where You Left Me is I think the second thing I ever wrote for this fandom, right after Suburban Legends, and I still want to get back to it someday but I have much more pressing fics rn

But this one came about from me listening to Stick Season one too many times and I still love it

Basically, Wille and Simon were childhood friends-turned-to-lovers, but they broke up when Simon moved away to pursue a career in music, because Wille couldn't leave his sick mom and they didn't want to do long distance. Simon comes back every year for Christmas, and every year, without fail, they fall back into each other, because it's easy and they know each other so well, but it's never more than a quick hook-up. And every year, Simon leaves, and leaves Wille in shambles. But as time goes on, wille vows that he will stay away from Simon, and Simon starts to question more and more if this life of fame is actually for him, or if he wants to go back.

I think it might actually become a 5+1 sorta thing but I won't call it that since it's not fluffy at all, and might actually have a sad ending, I'm not sure yet, but now that I'm reading it again I do want to get back to it lol

Lil' snippet:

Simon let the warmth of his tea and his childhood home melt away the cold of the winter raging outside, and with it too, the troubles that occupied his mind all the way from LA. It was funny how this home, stood in one of the coldest places in the world, felt infinitely warmer than his apartment in bright and sunny LA, with its white walls that he wasn’t allowed to paint and the couch he’d found somewhere on a curb. Despite living there for five years now, the need to be constantly on the move refrained him from personalizing any space. Here, sat on his mom’s old couch, every inch of the room held his name, his being, in photographs on the mantle and his report cards on the fridge. He barely listened as his mom talked to him about the latest news from her job at the hospital, instead revelling in just hearing her warm, soothing voice, and for a minute, letting himself pretend he was just a kid again and had only gotten home from school, not from the other side of the world.

Thank you for asking 💜

Ask me about my WIPs!

[sunberry-strawflower]

#curtissonweek2023

I have no excuse for being hella late. I was just procrastinating throughout the whole day😭😭I finished it thoo

This work is, like the last three, an entry for @blue-fanlady's curtisson week!

This one is just little over 1k words domestic curtisson where they literally share a house and everything and yet they're not married?? 🤨🤨 yea I'm gonna have to call bullshit (but yea I didn't make them married in this story sorry)

ALSO I'm just as tired as them in this story rn and I'm not gonna lie I wrote parts of this fanfic half asleep so‼️‼️whoops ‼️‼️I'll proofread once I wake up cause a little after I post this I'm going to bed (at...7am HEDJHFJR)

Word count: 1.2k

Curtisson Week Day 4: Sleeping

Burt was sitting on the couch in the living room of he and Sven's shared house with a book in hand. He had it open, but wasn't really paying too much attention to the story. It was mostly just to pass the time as he waited for Sven to come home from work. He looked back at his watch. 9:43pm. That's around the time Sven got off, so he should be home soon.

Burt was lucky enough to be sent off of work early. Though he was kind of upset at the same time because usually he and Sven got out of work around the same time (Sven getting out about 30 minutes after him), so he never had to wait too long for him. This time, though, he was sent off three hours earlier than he usually was. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't question it. Time off work is time off work.

Though…maybe he should've offered to work the three hours anyway. Just so he'd have something to do.

Sven and Burt had moved in together fairly recently, so while all the necessary stuff were set, such as cooking supplies, a bed, a couch, dressers, etc, etc., they were still lacking some things that they were planning on getting once they had the time.

For now, though, most things involving entertainment weren't present. Aside from like, his phone and a few books. Which he was usually alright with. He was content just sitting there, drinking his morning coffee on their porch. "Like an old man." Sven would say. But it wasn't morning, nor was it really the time for you to be chilling out on your porch. Way too cold at night.

He was feeling a little tired, but he didn't want to sleep without his boyfriend in his arms, and chances are Sven felt the same way. Though, maybe doing a relaxing activity such as reading wasn't helping his case much. But eh, nothing much else to do that'll keep him distracted.

He decided that he might as well take a shower while he waited, so he set the hardcover down on the coffee table and went into their bedroom to pick out pyjamas. A loose orange shirt and pants fit nicely. He added some matching socks there too, for extra comfort.

Once he got in and out of the shower, he put his comfy pyjamas on, and went back into the living room. He sat back on the couch and tried to read the book again. It wasn't a bad story by any means, just not what he was in the mood for. Which he finally realized and decided to just scroll through his phone instead.

A few minutes later, he heard the front doorknob rattling and assumed that it was Sven. He turned off his phone, putting it on the coffee table in front of him, and looked towards the front door expectantly. He let a gentle smile appear on his face when he saw Sven walk in, closing the door behind him. “Oh, welcome back,” he said. “How was work?”

Sven moved to sit next to Burt on the couch. “It was fine,” he sighed. “How was yours?”

“The usual,” Burt replied. "Are you up for dinner?" He asked, tilting his head over at Sven.

Sven shook his head. "Too tired…can we just go straight to bed?"

Burt smiled softly at that and nodded. "Of course." He then stood up, expecting the other to follow him to their bedroom, which he did. They walked in and Burt turned on the lights so they could see better.

Sven flopped down face first on the bed, groaning as he hit the sheets, letting said sheets suppress his voice a little.

"Hey, hey, you have to at least take a shower first," Burt chuckled, gently lifting Sven up from the bed. The other grunted once more, but reluctantly agreed. He'd feel a lot more comfortable after a shower anyway. "I already took mine, so I'll just wait for you, yeah?"

Sven nodded, and waited for Burt to leave the room so he could have some privacy.

Burt patiently waited outside of their bedroom door, letting Sven finish doing his thing.

About 10 minutes later, he heard the clear. "Okay, you can come in now."

Burt opened the door and stepped back in, greeted with Sven looking much more comfortable. And adorable. "There you go. Let's get to bed, then." Ah, yes. The moment they've both been waiting for.

Burt turned out the lights and took Sven with him on the bed. He took his headphones and top hat off, putting them on top of the nightstand. Sven had taken off his own hat right after getting out of the shower so he didn't worry about it. They were both under the covers, lying next to each other. They were pretty close together already, but apparently that wasn't enough for Sven and he slid closer to Burt, before mildly gripping onto his shirt.

"Someone's clingy." He teased, leaving the other flustered. Burt couldn't help but snicker at this. His boyfriend had always been easy to tease. He never overdid it, though. Just whenever he really wanted to see his reaction. And Sven delivered every time.

Sven looked up at him, his cheeks pink from the proximity and the teasing. He stopped gripping on his shirt for a minute, instead just laying his palms on top of his chest. He kept letting his gaze wander to Burt's lips, and couldn't resist kissing him right then and there.

Burt was taken aback by the sudden kiss, but he wasn't complaining. Not at all. He closed his eyes and kissed back, letting his hand slide up into Sven's hair, twirling it around his fingers.

Sven found Burt playing in his hair to be very relaxing, and kept the kiss going for a little longer. He loved nights like these, where he could just lay down, cuddling and kissing his boyfriend after a long day of work. Without a care in the world. It felt amazing.

Unfortunately, the kiss had to come to an end eventually. Especially whenever a thing called oxygen existed. They both pulled away, letting out a soft breath as they did so.

Burt had stopped running his fingers through Sven's hair, now just resting his hand on his head. Sven buried his face into Burt's neck. "Can you…keep doing that?" He whispered into the crook of his neck.

Burt raised an eyebrow. "Doing what?" He asked.

"Combing your fingers in my hair…" he replied. "It feels nice."

Now it was Burt's turn to get flustered. Thank God Sven couldn't see the pink in his face, but perhaps he could tell anyway and he was just too sleepy to care or say anything.

"Okay…" he obliged and started to run his fingers through the others' hair again. His hair was always soft and well-kempt, making it nice to play with.

Sven relaxed even more than he already was, which was good for both him and Burt. It was nice seeing him not so tense.

Sven then placed a soft kiss on Burt's neck. Then another, and another. At first Burt tensed up from how sudden it was, but he slowly relaxed himself. Sven planted one more soft kiss onto his neck before nuzzling into it.

They both felt themselves begin to drift off. Neither of them tried to fight it. They let themselves fall into a deep sleep.

_______________________________________________________

So sleepy 💤💤 sleepy bfs :]

[rollercoasterwords]

rae.... how are u...... how's life.... what are you reading rn & is it good? how do u like ur tea? what's your fav sentence you've ever written? and most importantly how's the weather!

hi hello!! what a nice message i'm doing good life is fun rn i'm on a little. weeklong vacation been having a good time walking around + exploring etc...got 2 pet some sheep got a fun manicure bought a bunch of presents 4 my friends + family went 2 a spa!! 4 the first time fun new experience...getting a tattoo tomorrow afternoon which i am v excited abt <3 unfortunately the trip is coming 2 an end i have tomorrow & then half the day wednesday before i take a train back home in the afternoon and then i have. one week!! 2 pack up my entire apartment + say goodbye to all my friends before i move...life is a whirlwind rn & it's mostly fun atm but next week i'm worried that the sadness of leaving behind the city(&country!) where i've lived for 2 years is finally gonna start settling in </3

as for reading i've been in a bit of a book slump lately...been wanting something fast-paced + fun but haven't been able 2 settle on something new to actually pick up & start...i did finally start reading volume 1 of marx's capital this past week but it is. SUCH slow going...i'm taking notes + reading it in v small chunks 2 try & absorb it all so i haven't even finished ch 1 yet lol

i am not a big tea drinker 2 be quite frank!! i much prefer coffee but i have recently sort of given up coffee 4 health reasons...still treat myself 2 a fun coffee beverage every so often but she is no longer a daily staple in my life </3 so i have sort of been replacing her with. peach iced tea <3 which is very easy 2 find here & satisfies my craving 4 a cold sweet drink...generally speaking i'm not a hot-drink guy i like iced beverages & that holds true 4 tea...i like it iced & sweet...except i don't like sweet tea (us-south version...sorry southerners). & when i do drink hot tea i want it 2 be sweet...i want honey or sugar...some milk as well...& my favorite hot tea is yuja tea <3 the kind that looks like jam + comes in a big jar & u mix it into hot water. DELISH that was my winter beverage this year i drank it religiously

favorite sentence i've ever written. well i don't have one...i've written many sentences that i love i simply don't think i can pick a favorite <3 ONE of my faves that i can name off the top of my head tho is the last line of thtf! also wrote a song this year w some of my fave lyrics i've written chorus goes "and if i'm a rabbit/you can cut off my feet/and if you are hungry/what's my body but meat?" which i am quite fond of i'd include that in the favorites list <3

as for!! the weather!!! there was a big storm at the beginning of the weekend so it was very rainy + windy for a bit but honestly i liked it because the temperature dropped so much that it was actually quite pleasant outside for most of friday + saturday...cloudy & drizzly & a little cool. but the sun came back full force by sunday so now it's. SO fucking hot & it's incredibly humid as well...honestly think i'm getting used 2 the heat & humidity tho it's not destroying me the way it did last summer...still hate it tho >:( moving 2 a colder climate soon & while i'm sure i'm going 2 freeze 2 death come november after years of getting used 2 mild winters right now i am just. REALLY looking forward to cheating my way out of summer...should start cooling down in september right when i'm moving whereas if i wasn't moving i'd be expecting another month of heat...#lifehack

[birdaquiver]

this is interesting! do take what i said with a grain of salt because i wrote it while sleep deprived in like a 6 am yapping session, it wasnt meant to be a well thought out thesis/ dissertation kind of thing

i agree with some of the points u made btw:

- yes i dont think mu qing is nice but he is kind. thats what i tried to convey in my og post too. i guess some of it is arguing about semantics but in my book/my definition of the word, he is kind & has good intentions towards those he cares about (medicine scene, saving fx, cursed shackle...), he just doesn't admit to it and believes otherwise

- re: "cruelty" vs sarcastic attitude. yeah i probably worded that a little awry lol. i feel like more than anything he's cruel to himself as opposed to those around him but again, semantics, depending on how you define the word cruel. but my reading of the word is that he's definitely abrasive, sarcastic and cold & makes himself difficult to get along. but he doesnt actually intend to harm anyone severely, especially not those he cares about

- i also think he wants to be a good person! but i dont think its so blatant and on the surface for him... to me it's something he truly desires but it's sequestered deep under his skin. i do think he's developed the "not a good person" mentality and accepted it as self preservation but deep inside wants to be better because yes, of course its hurting him! (i think we agree there?) when i say subcutaneous i mean metaphorically its not immediately obvious on the surface. it's just that he himself would brush it off and coat it in resin & say oh its just bc im protecting myself (even though its in fact, self destructive). i think where we disagree is that you think he *knows* hes destroying himself this way but for me i think he needs a little nudge to admit that to himself sometimes- while i think he knows its hurting him greatly subconsciously, i also think hes faked & hidden it so much that hes even managed to "gaslight" himself into appearing indifferent about it (as well as convincing everyone around him that he isnt "good")

- about xie lian & mu qing's power imbalance pre xianle era. but i personally think xl didnt *purposefully* treat Mu Qing as a servant- he tried to be as accommodating as possible and he didnt have bad intentions per se. but intent ≠ consequence & the power imbalance still shows through & has affected mq deeply bc theres such a great discrepancy in their lived experiences & imo prince era xie lian had been quite ignorant as to what was going on even if he didnt mean it. i still do prefer the newer revised ver but thats a personal taste thing i guess.

soz im still sleep deprived rn so some of this might also be worded weird but thats my piece lol

in the end i reiterate alternative interpretations & readings are inevitable because theyre shaped by the individual readers experience but interesting to think about :)

i was saying this on my twitter so i’m just moving it here so that i can add more because the character count limit on twitter was bothering me but anyway

i think mu qing can be very contradictory when it comes to his perception of the self. ie he's insecure about himself and that there is an element of self dislike, but at the same time he has a very strong ego & feels wronged & undervalued by those around him. on one hand he thinks he deserves better from the world and what fate has dealt him and id say he even feels angry about the injustice of it all despite his insecurities. he's a very prideful person and takes pride in the things he knows he's capable at, but the pride also means he's particularly sensitive when his flaw are torn open & seen. but on the other hand, there are weaknesses about himself he strongly despises, and he is prone to jealousy/not feeling "enough". it's the strange mix of feeling like he's very capable but still berating himself because he could do better. he thinks he could surpass what fate's dictated for him so why hasn't he? but usually he sequesters all these insecurities away so they can't be seen, & encases himself behind this cool acerbic exterior such that only his capabilities shine through

re: him believing that he is not a good person & saying that there's no point in being one—i think he believes he is simply not a good person but for the most part meets this belief with indifference and treats it almost casually? almost like "this is just a fact take it or leave it" & he doesn't consciously think too much about it. but i think all this stems from him growing so accustomed to this belief for a very long time, which he'd only developed because he sees it as essential to survival. he indulges in fallacies like "there's no point in being kind" because it's a mode of self preservation and it's born from his disillusionment from being denied trust & leniency so many times. and since he has spent so long living behind that mask that he kind of melds into it to the point where it's hard to even distinguish where his "old", more vulnerable self ends and where his new "protected" one starts—hence he ends up believing he really just isn't a good person, but to him that's a fact that causes him surprisingly little grief at first glance

but i feel like deep down he wishes that maybe in another world he could be allowed to wear a softer skin, but he's accepted it doesn't work in this one. like i don't think he consciously thinks "i hate myself because i'm a bad person" since he thinks there's merit in sharpening his edges for self protection as long as he's left unperturbed. but the wish to be a better person is a more subcutaneous thing that he doesn't really see unless he's pushed to realize it imo

BUT what i do think is that when someone tries to treat him kindly & offer him tenderness for the 1st time in his life all that faux assurance would crumble because he isn't used to it and he doesn't understand how to accept nor face it. in a way it's like. he can justify (to himself) the act of being cruel because it's a way to combat the world being inherently cruel to him—but what happens when it isn't? what happens when someone subverts this entire idea of "all the world's out to get me so the only recourse is to hurt it before it can hurt me" and prove that wrong i think it'd rly shake him up and that's the moment when his insecurities and veiled self hatred would shine through

in the revised xlmq reconciliation, he says he refused to admit xie lian was a good person who had always held unconditionally kind intentions for mu qing because he wouldn't know face xie lian had he realized xl was kind. hence he convinced himself into thinking xie lian is faking his kindness and almost manufacturing a resentment towards xie lian, but admits that in the end bridge scene that this was all some twisted form of wishful thinking on his part

but then he turns around and contradicts himself because i think he IS kind to those who are innocent. he CAN BE A KIND PERSON!! imo he cares deeply for a select few people but just doesn't show it. he takes care of children & cares deeply for his mother but because of that belief that he just isn't kind & because he's so used to sponging all the world's damage by making himself cruel, the moment he's treated differently from what he thinks is the norm and given the slightest sliver of lenience he cannot handle it and all those axioms immediately crumble & then his world entirely subverts and he goes shit, how could i have ever even thought that way? i think there is a part of him that thinks he's destined to never find *affection* nor be treated gently specifically no matter how much he yearns for it

when he looks at people like xie lian who are extremely kind and forgiving i feel like there's a part of him that goes well. i know i can never measure up to that kind of "goodness" and i wish there was a world in which i could be like that but it's been proved impossible for me so its fine if i just stick to the pragmatic ideals i have (which aren't wrong, either). and i feel like pre-fall of xianle he can chalk this up to "well xie lian had it better than me which is why he can afford to be this kind but I can't afford to be like that and it's okay" but that gets flipped on its head because after everything xie lian has been through that argument just doesn't hold true for him anymore and some of his resentment comes from this "how could he live through all that and still remain true to his original idealistic values?" mindset. the new revised xlmq reconciliation is really interesting to me because in the old version he says something along the lines of "i can't change some of these twisted beliefs i have about you but in the end, i still admire you" whereas in the new (which i infinitely prefer) he says "these twisted beliefs i had about you were simply there because i made myself believe them or else i wouldnt know how to face you"

in the end my view of him is heavily shaped by my taste in fiction and the themes and character traits i like thinking about, the things i'm drawn in by, & my own experiences as well, in my head i usually only envision him as the version that i'm most interested in exploring which is actually a very very very flawed person. and it's like. idk. maybe my reading of him is different from what mxtx originally intended or different from what other people may derive from the source material but i think that's inevitable for any shared work of fiction

[daintyduck99]

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Rated G, about 700 words/ficlet

QPR, Luke & Alex & Reggie & Julie

Set in the same universe as Backpack Cuddles, which you can read here!

Julie huddles deeper into Alex's hoodie and pulls Luke's gray beanie—the only one he seems to own that never clashes with whatever else she's wearing—lower over her forehead, but it does little to stave off the morning chill as she makes her way to her locker. 

It might also help if Reggie’s gloves weren't fingerless, but they're both weak for the aesthetic, okay? 

Flynn, the first friend she spots, gets pulled into a hug right away. They knock their head against Julie's gently, laughing as they attempt to detangle themselves from her stubborn grip. 

"Good morning, clothes thief." 

"Hey, skipper." 

"Please, it was one assembly," Flynn protests as Julie finally lets them go, "but you? You're a repeat offender." 

"They've got you there, boss." 

Luke spins Julie around like they're in dance class, clasping her frigid hands in his perpetually warm ones, and she grins. 

"Can you blame me? Boys' clothes are actually made to keep you warm, and they look better on me, anyway." 

"Oh no, I never said it was a bad thing. Just a fact." 

Flynn flattens themself against the lockers as Reggie comes barreling out of nowhere, crashing into Julie and Luke, who takes the brunt of their weight. Reggie props his chin on Julie's head, waving his hands excitedly between her and Luke. 

"Jules, look! We match!" 

They do, literally. He must've gotten another pair of the exact same set of gloves, just like how he owns three sets of the same black skinny jeans with holes in the knees. Not that anyone's complaining, because it's a look that he's nailed. 

Luke must be thinking along similar lines. He chuckles, leaning forward to—Julie tilts her head up, making Reggie shiver as her hair and the fabric of Luke's beanie tickle his throat—oh, he's rubbing their noses together. 

"If you keep this up, we can all borrow your clothes. We'd have to rebrand the band: Julie and The Skinny Jean Teens." 

Flynn lays a hand on his shoulder, their polite way of saying honey, there's no way in hell. 

"I gotta go catch Kayla to talk about an English project, but for the record, I wouldn't hate that name if you were a comedy band. Just—as your manager, I have to veto that. See you guys!" 

"I mean—" Reggie starts once Flynn's out of earshot, and Luke releases one of Julie's hands to put a finger to his lips.

"Nope, no, not manifesting that." 

Reggie opens his mouth like he's thinking about biting Luke's hand, and he quickly pulls it back to his own body. Julie pouts, but they don't notice. 

"They'd look nice on you!" 

"Aren't your knees cold?"

"I'm still cold," Julie volunteers before their conversation can devolve any further, and Reggie lifts her free hand to his lips to kiss her cold fingers one by one. Luke rubs his nose against Julie's this time, mindful not to headbutt Reggie. 

Another set of arms bunches them all even closer together, squishing Julie in the middle, and she giggles as they all squirm to accommodate Alex. 

"Good morning," he slurs, clearly half-awake despite the frigid weather, and Reggie hums, snaking his arm around him.

"Did you skip out on your tea, 'Lex?" 

He grumbles his assent, and the four of them somehow manage to shuffle over to the vending machine without blocking the hallway or letting Julie freeze. 

"Are you two going to survive without us for a little while?" Luke asks as the bell rings and they have to part for first period. 

"It'll be difficult, but I think we'll manage. Julie will probably be warmer when she doesn't have to stare at your bare arms, you hot-blooded anomaly." 

"Alex is okay! He's already insulting Luke and it's only 8:05," Reggie says with a grin, laughing as they both box his upper arms, "what about you, Jules?" 

"I think I'll make it," she replies, brushing some hair out of his face with fingers that are no longer numb, although what really warms her are the smiles her boys send her before they all split up.

[kissokkotsu]

Damm girl are you a construction worker ?? Because you are building !!

𖦹 Modern au where Kaeya has a small crush on you <33

featuring: Kaeya!!!

Warnings: Fem terms are used.

A/n: Kaeya uses cringe pick up lines. It’s canon. Yeah. I wrote this on a whim so there might be a few errors sorry abt that! I just have rlly bad kaeya brain worms rn.

okay but modern kaeya is just such a fun concept. He’s barely starting his first year of uni and he has a band with some of his closest friends!!! The band was formed during seinor year of high school just cuz Childe and kaeya like the idea of being a super cool rockstar (nerds :P) oh and Diluc is in it cuz he can play bass.

Anywayzzz he works at a cafe that’s close to the university. He started working there during summer since he needs cash to pay rent for the apartment he just got. He didn’t wanna live on campus because the idea of being assigned a dorm mate and just having to get to know them freaked him the hell out!

Now don’t get him wrong. He wants to make new friends!!! He just has terrible social skills and can’t keep a conversation going properly for the life of him. He awkwardly cracks a lot of jokes to keep the conversation going even though the interaction should have ended by now but he doesn’t know how to end it so now him and the other person are just…laughing awkwardly. So he ended up becoming roomies with his best buddy o’l pal ajax!!!

The cafe he works at is super calm and quiet he loves it! He’s not too overwhelmed with his co workers either since they’re all lovely people!! He’s grown quite aquatinted with all of them to the point where they’re all comfortable teasing each other.

Moving on. Coincidentally, you’re also starting your first year at university!!! Wowww. It was the beginning of summer you stopped by the university to get some paperwork filed and you stopped by at the coffee shop. It was the afternoon, perfect time for a macchiato with lots of cold foam! Just the way you like it.

The first time you stepped in the cafe, kaeya stopped breathing. You were so???? Pretty??? Helloooo?? He was just getting bored of cleaning the tables and suddenly you walk in. Hearts are literally forming in his eyes right now as we speak! He quickly ran to the cash register. He couldn’t stop staring as he rung you up.

You were a literal goddess!!! He didn’t try to flirt or anything however. He was too star struck. Surprisingly you didn’t notice his eyes on you the whole damm time.

Anyways he rung you up and gave you your drink and that was the end of that. One time summer crush. He wished he could’ve at least tried talking to you alas, he was too distracted. He thought he’d never see you again.

He was strongly mistaken.

Once the semester began the cafe began to get so many customers. Just a bunch of sleep deprived students ordering whatever had the most caffeine. One fall afternoon however, it was pretty calm.

Too calm.

Kaeya wasn’t complaining though. The whole time him and his manger Lisa chatted before someone came into the cafe…it was you!

Kaeya thought he’d never see you again. Why do you look even more gorgeous than the first time he saw you?? Once the male saw you all the words that came out of Lisa’s mouth went in one ear and out the other.

“Can I get a caramel macchiato? Extra cold foam please!” You ordered the same thing as the last time.

Kaeya nodded. He rung you up. He was just so shocked and happy that he saw you again. He wonders if you lived nearby.

Once your order was ready you walked out the cafe. Kaeya hoped that he would see you again. If he saw you twice now then it’s possible for him to see you again right? Maybe he will try to flirt this time too! Yeah!

Next week came along and you came right back! Sadly that afternoon was pretty busy so he couldn’t really make conversation with you since there was loads of people behind you. Maybe next time….

He talked his crush on you with his bandmates. They were surprisingly encouraging about the whole thing.

“You need to talk to her!!!” The red head said as he took a sip of his Red Bull.

“Maybe something good might happen.” His brother chimed in, strumming with his bass.

The opposite could be said about his coworkers. Lisa noticed his crush on you. Ever since the day you came in the second time and he stopped paying attention to the conversation, she teased him about it.

Albedo said he needed to stop beating around the bush and actually talk to you. Lisa said that if he actually talked to you the next time you came in she would increase his pay.

Yeah he definitely needed to make a move.

You ended up coming in the following week. The day was less busy. The universe really wanted Kaeya to talk to you.

As soon as you walked in Kaeya could feel the glares of his coworkers.

He took a deep breath, not yet greeting you properly instead he said the most embarrassing shit ever.

“Damm Girl Are you a construction worker? Because you are building!”

Oh he fucked up.

Lisa and albedo both couldn’t help out but try and cover their laughs. He better be getting a raise.

What the hell was that??

You quirked a brow at him, still trying to process his words. He looked very flushed which made him cute in your eyes. You giggled and smiled at him.

“Is this the new way you greet your customers?” You asked making eye contact with the male.

Holy fuck you’re actually talking to him. And it’s not about extra cold foam!

“Something like that…yeah!” Is all Kaeya managed to muster up.

You graced his ears once more with your laugh before ordering your usual. You left the cafe after you received your order. Before you left however you managed to give the blue haired man one last soft smile before departing.

Yeah. You’re an Angel.

His coworkers soon after started laughing and teasing him after you left. He didn’t budge though. You smiled at him and laughed at his lame pick up line therefore, he wins.

𖦹 Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

Modern kaeya my beloved <33 honestly might make this a series bc there is sm I could do w a silly blue haired barista having a crush on you and trying to make you swoon. Dreamy sighzzz

[wayward-sherlock]

hi guys its me. im feeling,,,kinda terrible rn so here’s some angst i wrote a little while ago! 

Something was wrong.

Will knew Mike too well to believe his yeah guys, I’ll be fine! that had sounded far too flat to be reassuring. 

He knew Mike had been struggling; it hadn’t been hard to see, not when he was with El, not when Nancy made that offhand comment about his room while they were cleaning Hopper’s cabin. 

And yeah, maybe…maybe Mike had changed. Will didn’t doubt that. Change was inevitable, especially with them, between them, and…and that was something that Will had learned to deal with a long, long time ago.

But something about Mike’s volunteering didn’t seem right.

“You weren’t seeing the counselor though, were you, Mike?” Dustin asked, tying a bandana around his head to keep his curls from falling into his face. 

Will looked at Mike, expecting a scoff, but he hesitated, hand reaching up to nervously comb through his hair. It had gotten longer in the past couple of weeks - the lack of barbers in Hawkins had ensured that - and was getting curlier, almost. His fingers got caught halfway through. “Well,” he started, then shook his head. “I would never, I’m not—“

“There’s nothing wrong with it, Mike,” Lucas said gently, putting a hand on Mike’s shoulder. “Max was going to her, before—“

“I’m not depressed! I’m fine,” Mike said, too loudly, and Will could feel his eyes widen against his will. Mike took a deep breath before he continued. “I’ll just make him want me, and then when he’s vulnerable, you guys can kill him.”

“We all know how well that worked last time,” Erica pointed out, eyebrows lifted at Mike. Lucas looked down at his hands, and Will ached for him.

He couldn’t imagine losing someone he loved. Holding them in his arms as they pleaded for their life. Watching as the light drained from their eyes.

He wasn’t going to lose anyone else. No one was. Will would make sure of that.

Mike’s lips turned down. “Yeah, well, it’s different this time.” He reached for a bandana, and he wrapped it around his face, covering and protecting his mouth from the spores that still made Will’s lungs ache, all these years later. “We have El, and we have Will.” He brushed his hair back out of his eyes, and Will’s fingers itched to fix it, to put it up, to let his fingertips graze over Mike’s forehead. 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Mike,” Will said quietly, fingers twitching slightly at his side. 

Mike looked to him, and something shone in his eyes that Will couldn’t place. He put a soft hand on Will’s shoulder. “You’re gonna be there, and you’re gonna make sure that I don’t get taken.”

“Okay,” Will said. His voice sounded small, even to his own ears, but he didn’t care, because Mike was depending on him. They all were. 

***

Will didn’t know why they were at the quarry. 

He’d just followed Mike—like he always did—and they’d ended up…here.

Mike set his bike down carefully, and Will watched him curiously. Mike shuffled forward, towards the edge, and— “Mike.”

He turned to Will. His thin body was backlit by the unsettling red lighting from the Upside Down, and it made Mike look ill. Will swung a leg over his bike. “Mike.”

“This is where you died, Will,” Mike said quietly, so softly Will had to take a step forward to hear him. “They found your body here, they—“

“But I didn’t die, Mike,” Will interrupted. He could feel his bravery cracking, like the lightning in the sky above them. “I’m here, I’m here.”

“I know,” Mike said, looking away as his voice seemed to shatter. “I know, but god, it looked so real. It was…it was you.”

Will vaguely remembered hearing about it. The government had made an exact replica of…of him, his body, and had left it in the cold water below them. To cover up that he had actually been taken. 

“And I couldn’t—“ Mike turned all the way away from Will, curls cascading against his back like a waterfall. “I couldn’t live without you. So I—fuck, One! Come on! Don’t make me say it!”

Mike was yelling now, and it echoed through the eerily desolate landscape around them. Will took a step back, more out of surprise than anything, and he looked around frantically. “Mike—“

“You’ve been in my head, you fucker! You know I jumped because I couldn’t live without him! You know I did! And you know about the letters and the thoughts and the things I can’t bear to say to him! You know everything!” Mike’s screams were hurting Will’s ears, and he covered them with his hands. Will watched in terror as Mike spun to face him, hands on his head, eyes crazed. “Come out and take me! Please! I’m ready to go! Let me out of here!”

“Mike!” Will screamed, pointing behind Mike, and he turned around just in time to see Vecna walking at him, hand raised. Mike fell to the ground, like a puppet with cut strings, and Will tried to run towards him, but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t—

“Will.” 

His voice was everywhere. Will bent over at the waist, mouth open in a silent scream, ears covered with his hands, like his flesh would do anything to stop the terrors of his mind. 

“I’ve waited so long for you,” Vecna said, walking past unconscious Mike, whose pale, pale face was twisted into a sick grin, and Will wanted to vomit. “You’ve finally come back to me.”

“No,” Will sobbed, shaking his head. “You’re not real, you’re not real, you’re not—“

“Oh, but I am, Will,” he said, running a finger under Will’s jaw. Suddenly, some vines were snapping out of the underbrush, wet tendrils digging into his skin as they gripped Will’s limbs and lifted him into the air. “I’m more real than anything you’ve ever seen.”

A vine gripped Will’s throat, and he choked out another sob before Vecna was in his face, warm breath puffing over Will’s skin. “You’ve always been lied to, Will.” He pointed at where Mike lay on the ground, limbs askew like he had fallen, or jumped from somewhere very high, oh god— “Maybe it was all your fault, this whole time. For being different.” 

He spat the word like venom, and Will recoiled hard enough for the vines holding him in the air to tighten their grip to hold him upright. 

“You’re the reason he’s dead,” Vecna hissed, lifting Mike with a hand. “You made him love you, so much that he couldn’t live without you. Does this look like something good to you, Will?”

Mike was thrown at Will’s feet like he weighed nothing, and Will screamed, agony becoming so unbearable that his chest felt like it was collapsing. 

“That’s what I thought.” Vecna nodded to himself, then motioned to the apocalyptic hell around him. “If you come with me, we can be good.” 

Will shook his head as tears pricked his eyes. The vines around his neck tightened. 

“We could be heroes, Will.”

[starburstdragon]

I was thinking about Cogita and how it’s kinda weird that she knows so much abt Hisui’s history when she doesn’t. look like she’s from there?? really?? and then while I was looking at her Bulbapedia page a Major Thought struck me.

Cogita is considered THE foremost expert on All This Mythoshit That’s Going Down RN during PLA’s lategame-- she has intel on the trios, the plates, the Forces of Nature, etc. And it’s never really explained why. Some of the old verses seems to imply that she’s the author, referencing her wait for the player and her association with Enamorus, among other things. Specifically, she’s described as waiting an “eternity”.

"Wintry... Austere... Brimming with strange power... Certainly the land of Hisui bears some resemblance to Sinjoh. Here, where the ancient Sinnoh people were born, I will spend an eternity... until the one with the mission appears."

"Once there was a god of field, and once there was a god of spring. Upon Hisui's winds it wheeled, brough life to every growing thing. 'Where go you when you are not here?' asked I one day the god of spring. No answer would it give me clear, but still did I have an inkling. There is no great dark truth untold— it simply does not like the cold."

So basically, Cogita is old as hell, possibly somewhat immortal.

So my thought is, who else do we know in the Pokémon franchise who is old as hell, somewhat immortal, and has white hair?

This infinity energy apocalypse flower power motherfucker (affectionate). I don’t know if I’d say they’re related, necessarily (maybe infinity energy induced immortality just makes your hair pigmentation go on strike) but I do think that Cogita gained immortality the same way AZ did, possibly from the same event.

The author of the old verses certainly seems to have some analogous experience to the war that killed AZ’s floette.

"I set the bones of Pokémon adrift upon the river. I let my memories flow on, adrift upon the river. And to the ocean they will flow, perhaps around the world they go. How many bones in days now gone have I now set adrift from me? How many bones in days to come will I yet set adrift to sea? While every gift with which I part takes a sliver of my heart."

"Offer only friendship to those around you. Angering ??? in turn confounds you. Sorrowing ??? will in woe drown you. A land, once riven, cannot become new. Let only peace and amity surround you."

"Once it shone upon us all, with all the warmth of welcome sun. But now we weep, to grief we fall, starved of light now it has gone. And some they go, despair withal, in search of it they reel and run. They quit their hearths, abandoned hall, and leave our lands to be undone. And when they're gone beyond recall, this land will be a home to none. This land will only ever be a home to Pokémon."

"O you, who at the world's far-off end dwell, I know your wish—it is my wish as well. My own beloved is now gone from me, departed to a place I cannot reach. My old companions have left me behind, their faces faded into days gone by. Still to my breast I clutch this hopeless dream, a futile wish for us once more to meet. Oh you, who at the world's far-off end dwell I know your wish—it is my wish as well. But ours are cold and endless winter days, warmed only by memories locked away."

I don’t exactly know where I’m going with this, except that Cogita’s knowledge and form of dress may be because she, like AZ, is a survivor of the Kalos war, and has lived in Hisui for some time since then for some reason. The verses themselves were clearly written some time after the hero’s exploits, but it’s possible Cogita wrote them from a first or secondhand account after the fact when the living memory of the events started to fade into mythohistory.

[ragnvdnir]

Folklore

Act I Part II: A Growing Seed of Flower [Our Blooming Chapter]

pairings: zhongli x fem!reader

foreword(prologue) Act I Part I

genre: angst, romance, forbidden love

summary: you meet the man you met earlier once more, you said it was coincidence. . .or not?

warnings: nothing deep for now, bit of crack? a little tease of y/n's backstory, not proofread

a/n: i finally wrote the chapter two, congrats to me. i decided to speed run a bit rn bc i don't want the fic to be longer than 20 chapters that's why im starting to put the build up of romance rn. also, let's just pretend that wangshu inn already existed at this time. adding to that, i tried to understand the lore sm but it seems that im still confused, that's why i might write some wrong things.

please be reminded that this is a work of fiction, this has nothing to do with the genshin lore.

now playing; so this is love

“so this is love. so this is what makes life divine”

The trip to finding an inn to stay was exhausting. Being unfamiliar with the land is a nuisance. It was luck that you found an inn before the night gets darker.

You let out a sigh of relief as you finally stood in front of the said inn. All your exhaustion came crashing down suddenly.

“Ah, I want to rest already.”

You entered the inn. Observing your surroundings, the furnitures and structure was very different from your homeland. The sudden thought of your home taste like sweet and sour on your mouth. Sweet, because you finally got to explore the world beyond yours like you’ve always wanted to. Sour, because you left your homeland disobeying your parents.

‘I just wanted to be free. . .’

You snapped out of your thoughts when the receptionist called you. “Are you gonna check in?” she gave you a small smile. You nodded and took out your mora, you somehow got it somewhere.

“For a day?” she asked.

“No, I would actually want to stay here until I go on another journey, would that be fine?”

“Of course, however, it’s gonna cost you a lot of mora— we can give you a discount though.”

“That would be very nice. Say, do you have any vacant job? Like anything? I really need it.” You looked at the receptionist hopefully.

“Well uhm, we’re not really looking for someone to hire. However, since you look like you’re just new here, then I guess I can give you a job.” You felt her eyeing your clothes. Well you can’t blame her, your clothes were really out of liyue’s clothing.

“Really? Thank you so much! When can I start?” The receptionist smiled at you and told you that you can start tomorrow night. You thanked her again as she showed you the way to your room.

You keep tossing around your bed as if you can’t sleep. After a few minutes of changing positions, you finally sat up.

‘I can’t sleep.’

You decided to went to the balcony of the inn and unwind. You arrived at the top, looking around your surroundings, two figures caught your attention, it seems that they’re having a conversation so you paid no mind to them and rest your forearms on the railings of the balcony.

Cold whispers of the wind suddenly embraced your form sending a shiver down to your spine. You hug yourself as you let out a puff of breath.

Sighing at the cold, you stared back at the glistening stars and moon. The loneliness of your voyage came crashing suddenly. The homesickness is kicking in. You never disobeyed your parents like that. You never escaped like that.

You wouldn’t call it escaping actually. It’s just that more likely, they’re taking your own rights and freedom. You would rather call what you did running away. . .finding what your heart wants, and it’s not in your homeland, you knew that all too well.

You love where you live, but at the same time, you hate it. You can’t be free because of your parents who unknowingly neglected you. All they think is your homeland here and there, they’re too prideful, think too highly of themselves.

You don’t want to live a life like that, that’s why you run away. A tear manage to escape your eyes, you wiped it as you stand up and decided to go back to your room.

As you turn around, you catch a figure looking at you in your rear view. You looked back at the person. Realizing that the figure seems familiar, you turn your whole body to face it and looked at the face of it carefully.

As if a light bulb appeared, your face brightens up a surprised expression. You opened your mouth and let words out to the man.

“So it’s you again, what a coincidence, mister gold!”

The man who stood feet away from you, stared at you and move his feet towards your place. “Meeting you once more is the least that I expected, a coincidence indeed.” He nodded while a hand is placed under his chin.

“So, what brings you here in this inn? Gonna stay a night here too?” You started as you stared at his amber eyes again.

“No, that’s not it. Just visited a. . .friend, that’s it.”

“Ooh, the one you’re talking to earlier?” You asked a he let out a hmm.

“Yes, that’s him indeed.”

“Nice.”

Awkward tension started rising as you just stood there, while he stared at you, waiting for you to talk.

“Uhm, do you know any good places here in liyue? You know, I don’t where to go and continue my adventure hehe.” You scratch the back of your neck as you looked away, embarrassed.

“Good places, you say? I know a few that does have a ravishing scenery and history. If you do not mind, I can suggest a few.”

“Sure! I would appreciate that!”

“Let’s see, you can start with the Guyun Stone Forest, located at the Sea of Clouds.”

“Oh uh, where is that?” you laughed awkwardly.

“It seems that you’re not familiar with liyue, you really are new here.” You let out a small ‘yeah’ in response.

The man infront of you sighed and nodded to himself, as if making a decision.“Alright then, meet me here tomorrow morning, I’ll accompany you.”

Your eyes widened as you looked at the man infront of you. ‘What?’

“There’s no need! I don’t want to disturb you any longer.” You shook your hands infront of you, refusing to take his offer.

“It’s fine, you look like you’ve shown interest in liyue, that’s great. It’s my duty to show people the beauty of my land— I mean the land of Geo Archon. Besides, is it not good that you have someone who will guide you on your journey?”

“O—oh, yeah you’re right. But is it really alright with you?” You gazed at man, still baffled by his service.

“Like I said, it’s fine. Now, are you gonna accept my offer of kindness or not?”

“Ofcourse I do! Who wouldn’t want a free tour guide?” You smiled at him.

“Free? Who said it’s free?” Your smile soons fade as you stared at him.

“Oh, yeah ofcourse it’s not free. Well, what do you want?” You sighed and looked at him colorless.

‘Honestly speaking, I don’t know.’ Rex Lapis thought.

“I’ll let you know when time’s up.”

“Well, when is time’s up ?”

“When you decided to rest from your adventures.”

“Fine then, just make sure it’s not illegal, I will really call liyue’s Archon and say that you’re a disgrace to his land.” Rex Lapis bit his lips to stiffle a chuckle at your remarks.

“It’s a contract then.” He finally said after he swallowed his laughters.

“A contract? Oh yeah, almost forgot that liyue is also the land of contracts. It’s a contract.” You shook your hands with him, noticing once again his hands.

“By the way, can I ask a question?” You utter while still gazing at his hands.

“Ask away.”

“Why is your arms and hand like that?” You now looked at his amber eyes. It went silent for a second before he answered.

“It’s a secret.”

After that night

“Where are we heading?” You followed behind him while checking your surroundings. You two had been walking for so long.

“We’re heading to a place called Luhua Pool.” He answered while looking at the sides every now and then. Checking if a citizen is around. He wouldn’t want to be recognize, right?

After a few minutes of walking which made your legs hurt, you finally arrived at Luhua Pool.

“We are here, take a look around and share your thoughts.”

Your mouth parted in awe looking at the terraces of water. “Why does the water looks clearer than my eye sight.” He find it funny that you say such ridiculous things easily.

“Well, the water you see right now is full of minerals that it appears to be smooth and crystal clear.” He continued explaining the legends of Luhua Pool while your mind drifts somewhere.

‘Can I drink the water? It probably taste so good knowing it’s full of minerals.’

You two stayed there for an hour before deciding to continue your travels.

It went on and on like that until you arrived at your last stop for today, Guyun Stone Forest.

The sun was already setting when you arrived there. Exhaustion filled you but the breath taking scenery before you made all that fade away.

“So this is Guyun Stone Forest, huh?”

“Indeed, Would you hear why the stones are are formed like that?” You continued staring at the scenery and nodded.

“Go on.”

As he spoke, you glanced at him rambling about the history of the place. You seem to can’t take your eyes off him, the beam of sun glimmer on him, making him shine like gold in your view.

For a moment, you forgot about the breath taking scenery where you are. Because right now, infront of you, this man is making you fall to your death only to take you back to life whenever he sets his amber eyes on you.

A skip of a heart beat, a glimer of eyes, a strung on heart strings, a butterfly in stomach, a taste of heaven, a blossom of flowers, a whisper of love. You feel it all, just by looking at him. He pass and spreads on your mind and body and soul, a folklore.

‘Yeah, what is this. . .’

“Hey, what's your name? I feel like mister gold is an old a nickname anymore.” He stopped talking to look at you, you swore he brought life to you the moment he laid his eyes on you after dying from his beauty.

“Well i am–”

‘Just a second, she doesn't know i am Rex Lapis yet.’

You patiently waited for him to say his name. He sighed and continued.

“– nameless.”

“Huh?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“I am nameless, I don't have a name.”

“What? How is that? Then what do people call you?” Confusion painted your face.

“It's. . . anything, they call me anything they want since i am– well. . .nameless.”

“Odd, how is that even possible.” You muttered. You stared into nothing until an idea come to you that removed the cease in your eyebrows.

“Ah ha! I'll give you a name instead since you don't have one!” You grin at him. Its his now turn to furrow eyebrows.

“Give me. . .a name?”

“Yup! yup! I'll make you one so i don't have to call you mister gold anymore.”

“What will you call me then?” He asked her, looking forward to his name created by you.

“Well, let's see,” You put you hand under your chin, thinking of a name for him.

“How about. . .

. . . Zhongli!”

Taglist:

@escapeis @lovyrn @grassorzhonglisass

send an ask or comment to be added!

©kazu-topia, do not copy or translate my works, thank you!

[zuluc]

anonymous requested: Hi can I request headcanons about how Childe and Kaeya react to their s/o stressing/feeling tired over school (modern AU)? Gender neutral. Fluff. Thank you!

pairings: childe, kaeya alberich x gn!reader

style & genre: bulleted; fluff, modern!au

warnings: none

notes: i wrote this one because i need some comfort over upcoming finals rn 😀✋🏼i also tried a new way in making headcannons for general headcannons like in this request, let me know if you guys like it!

Childe

He already knows the start of when you begin to get stressed because he is just that observant when it comes to you so he’ll do the little things like providing you with snacks when you guys are in class or even bringing an extra hoodie during the cold months when all you have on your mind is getting to class and studying

Always tries to make sure that you are taking a break despite your protests by practically wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you to his lap; Sometimes he’ll just lay his head in your lap and place your hand in his hair to massage his scalp; He uses it as an excuse to be near you and get some affection out of it

“Baby, can you do that thing?”

One day one of your friends calls him saying that they’re worried about your wellbeing since you haven’t hung out with them and that your eyebags were getting darker and darker; Have you been taking care of yourself?

Immediately heads to the store to put together a care package of takeout and drinks that you mentioned were your favorite before practically bursting through your door with them at hand; You were so startled that you fell out of your chair but before you could hit the ground, he catches you after placing the items down safely

He did not take no for an answer and scrapped his idea of eating then cuddling and went straight for the bed with you in his arms; On your bed you’re trapped between him and the wall with his hand cradling your head, then did you realize just how exhausted you were and when you closed your eyes you were out like a light

When Childe looks down to see you sleeping peacefully a small smile spreads on his face as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead

“Finally. Now, where’s their notes?” because he sure as hell didn’t study for that test

Kaeya

He manages his time well and has studied and understood most of the material for the year and would most definitely help you study, as that he were your stress is coming from, with a bit of teasing involved; He just can’t help but love how flustered he makes you when a pun comes up during a study session for chemistry and bio

“Hey babe, if had to choose between DNA and RNA, I’d choose RNA because it has U in it” this actually helped you remember the process and he wouldn’t let you live it down

Likes to press his fingers to your temple because they’re always cold and he sees that you are kind of overworking your brain there. While he accompanies you, he leaves in the middle to grab food for the both of you for a break and reassures you that you know what you’re doing and that he believes in you. Kaeya’s love language is words of affirmation after all.

He will hold you tightly when you lament about the amount of work your teachers have piled up on you and lets you sit in his lap while stroking your hair softly, occasionally contributing to your complaints with not-so-subtle jabs at the administration for their carelessness for their student’s well-being, like he wasn’t a student as well.

You were so stressed out, it being finals week, that you completely shut everyone out and he was worried. You didn’t even respond to his playful banter with your own like you usually did so he instead waited till the end of the school day to drag you home when you wanted to head to the library. 

Kaeya draws you a bath to help bring some peace of mind and will lovingly force you to relax, even if it’s just for a few minutes. If you’re still antsy about studying, he’ll pull up a chair beside you and quiz you on terms and concepts as he massages the back of your neck. He takes care of you well and by the time your bath is done, most of the information has been solidified in your brain and you got some rest.

“I’ve always got my ion you.” asjsks he couldn’t help himself

[shoutogepi]

Pull of the Moon

Kirishima Eijirou

word count : 7.8k

[ ✘ (nsfw!), werewolf!au ]  

themes : masturbation, licking/biting, dom!Kiri, rough sex, dirty talk, slight choking, friends to lovers, confession

bio : Eijirou makes sure he’s far away from you for when the heat cycle strikes, but just when he thinks your friendship is safe from his monstrous hormones, there you are at his doorstep.

author’s note : so this is a fic that i wrote years ago for my kpop blog, linked in my bio. i wanted to repost it here for bnha, just bc i like the way i wrote it and i think it’s pretty fitting character-wise for Kiri! plus im a slut for werewolf fics. and also i wanted to post something while work is keeping me from writing something 100% new rn :3 pls note this is NOT plagiarized as I am the original author of the original fic.

side note : if there are any places where it says Jae, Jaebum, etc. lemme know bc it was a quick job i did converting this to a Kiri fic lol like even the title is the same oops

also available on AO3 here

   ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

“🅂o you’re sure you have to leave for tonight, Y/N?” Kirishima inquires, tilting his head in his open palm to crane his bright gaze up toward your face.  

“Yeah, I don’t think I can get out of visiting my parents for dinner this time,” you reply, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as you cuddle your chin into the warmth of Kirishima’s oversized scarf. The soft fabric grazes under your nose, and your eyes close blissfully as you inhale Kirishima’s strong, spicy aroma mingled with his cologne.

Kirishima watches you through slitted eyes, secretly pleased at your actions. Not that he would ever tell you, because that would be weird. He shuts his eyes tightly, telling himself in his head not to overthink it. Of course you like how he smells, he’s your friend. Friends like how each other smell… right? His body shivers as your fingers naturally slide into his thick, red hair. His face slides down as his body turns to jello, leaning completely on top of the table in complete euphoria at the feeling of your touch. If there was a price to have your hands on him for every hour of the day, he would pay it a thousand times over. His lips part as his jaw instinctively unhinges at your undivided attention like a newborn puppy, chin angling when your fingers slide down to the side of his jaw you brush just underneath it before pulling away.  

“Eiji, I really do have to go,” you murmur, fingers retreating from his form as he lets out a low whine. One of his warm eyes opens, scowling at you playfully.

“Okay,” he sighs when you push out your chair and begin to gather your things. He places some money on the table before following you out of the coffee shop. “I’m jealous, please bring me some of your mom’s noodles. You know how much I like them, and her.“

“I will Eiji. But you’re lucky you’re not coming, because all they ever do is gush about what a cute couple we’d be and it always ends up being weird,” you trail off, nodding to yourself.

Kirishima nods too but his heart jumps at you thinking of him as an intimate partner.

“By the way, thanks for the latte. And tell Mina hello for me when you see her tonight,” you laugh with a suggestive wink.

Kirishima rolls his eyes. “You know I’m only spending the night with her to help her with her… issues."

You smack his arm and scoff. “As if that’s a burden to you! At least you’re spending the night having fun. I’m just gonna be answering the million questions my parents will be asking about you the whole time and falling asleep in my bed by myself."

“It’s not my fault I’m so lovable,” he banters, a cheeky grin splicing between his lips, trying to shake the image of you alone in bed out of his imaginative mind.

“Say that to you baku-squad,” you retort, the two of you now standing in front of the cafe as you linger before your journey to the bus station.

“Hey— wait, is that my scarf?” Kirishima asks, pretending to notice just now when he really did the moment you walked in two hours ago. But you looked so cute all bundled up in his scarf that he decided not to say anything, content to see you warm and happy in his own clothing.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” you unwrap it from your neck and Kirishima gazes at the newly-revealed skin there with longing, forgetting about the scarf. “Eiji?"

He snaps out of it. “What? Oh— the scarf.. Keep it, I was just teasing,” he mumbles as you hook the material around the back of his neck. He’s considerably tall, massive frame towering over you so much that you have to strain your arms to fling the material onto his shoulders.

“That’s okay Eiji... you look cute in it, so wear it for Mina,” you smile half-heartedly, tugging the fabric at the ends to coil around his throat snugly. “Don’t worry about me."

“I always worry about you, Y/N,” Kirishima gazes into your eyes with a passionate longing undetectable to you. Not Mina, he wants to add.

“Well, don’t, Red, I’ll be okay. I always am,” you trace his jaw slowly with a finger before your hands fall at your sides, brushing off your coat.  

Kirishima nods hesitantly, falling into a quiet, comfortable pace beside you.  

Your boots quickly become cold as the two of you trudge through the slush from leftover snow, the bitter winter breeze chilling your nose and ears. Sooner than either of you would like, you’ve reached the bus station. Kirishima shuffles from foot to foot, arguing with himself as to if he should ask you to stay and have dinner with him instead of going on the hour-long ride to your parents’.  

“Are you sure this is okay? You don’t want me to come with you? Or I can drive you. The roads aren’t that great tonight… Mina will understand. She doesn’t— We’re not dating, you know— me and her, I mean, I only… help her as a friend.. So I can cancel, and she won’t have any issues. She has lots of other guy friends,” Kirishima reasons.

“Eiji,” you chuckle, taking your duffel bag from his hand that he’d carried for the journey here, “Mina needs you.”

But I need you, Kirishima thinks as he bites his lip. “Okay… have a safe ride then. And text me when you get there.”  

“Yes, Dad,” you laugh. You slip into his arms easily, almost naturally, and press your face against his chest beneath his wool jacket.  

Kirishima’s arms encircle you immediately, instinctively pulling you to him as his chin falls atop the crown of your head. “I’ll miss you,” he breathes.

“Don’t be weird, Eiji,” you giggle, pulling away from him much too soon for his liking. “See you tomorrow.”  

Kirishima watches you walk into the bus terminal, duffel bag in your hand with his heart unknowingly tucked deep inside of it.

Kirishima paces back and forth between the couch and the dining table. His nerves are shaky and his body uncharacteristically twitchy. He’d been smelling female wolves around the city all day while he was out with you, but he managed to ward them off with icy glares and his steel-strong self-control. It also helped that you were there to distract him, seeing as when he wasn’t with you, you were the only thing on his mind. But now that he was alone— Mina had cancelled on him to spend the night with an “old friend” that had come back to town— and he was all by himself, he was feeling the full effects of the female wolf hormones he’d breathed in for the past twelve hours.

He closes his eyes as his mind wanders to the image of you wrapped up in his scarf in the cafe; the warm scent of coffee; the condensation on the windows; your light-filled eyes on him; the scent of your freshly-washed hair… He opens his eyes, tongue running over his front teeth as he feels the evident, sharp prod of his elongated cuspids as a result of his piqued interest. He groans, feeling his eyes dilate just the slightest of fractions. He sits on the floor, sliding down the wall with a frown on his plump lips.

Kirishima watches the hands of the clock tick on the wall in front of him for a moment before he shuts his eyes and smacks his head back against the drywall, a loud whine releasing from his throat. The apartment lacks of things that could possibly captivate his attention at the moment; all he can do is think about you— your pretty face, your gentle caress on his skin just hours before. There are no messages from you and his sensitive ears long to hear the chime notification that signifies your safe arrival.  

“Just friends,” he murmurs, “just friends, just friends, just friends."

He tries to breathe in deeply to relax himself, but success quickly slips through his grasp as the scent of you lingers on the scarf casually thrown over the back of the sofa. His jaw clenches as his teeth gnash, taking in your alluring aroma. He tries to think of something— anything else, but he eventually gives up, slamming his palms flat on the hardwood floor as he pushes himself up. He lunges toward the couch, throwing himself onto the open cushions as his hands immediately find the soft cotton. He brings the material to his nose, a low moan falling from his open mouth as the intense smell floods his senses.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, readjusting his hips as he feels his body reacting swiftly to the pull of your scent. He hisses lightly as he feels the blood rush to his pants, wiggling his hips around to feel the delicious friction against his hardening erection. He rubs the inside of his thigh gently with his palm, imagining your small hand instead of his on his jean-clad length. “God, this is so fucked,” he gasps, grip strengthening on himself through his jeans. Originally his plan for the evening consisted of fucking Mina senseless and imagining it was you, but seeing as she had cancelled, this was the next best option.  

Kirishima fumbles with his belt and shimmies out of his jeans, ripping his constrictive t-shirt over his head and whipping it elsewhere into the living room. He kicks the denim off from around his ankles next, one hand holding the soft fabric of the scarf close to his nose and the other trailing toward his throbbing hard-on from the bend of his knee; how he imagines your hand would do.

A feral grunt dislodges from the back of his throat as he pictures your hair falling around your perfectly cherubic face that leans down toward his own, one hand pressing his chest down against the couch cushion and the other hand on his thigh tracing the outline of his cock straining against his briefs. His hips jerk as his forefinger runs from tip to base, his thumb sliding backwards over the previous route to caress the head of his dick gently in circular swipes. He seals his lips together by sucking in the bottom one, his canines lengthened by arousal piercing the soft flesh of the lower lip so that a metal taste floods his mouth, but he only closes his eyes and continues his ministrations.

Kirishima continues to skim the pads of his fingertips over the prominent erection that pushes against his underwear in defiance, face pressed into the back of the sofa so the cushions catch his heavy moans instead of his neighbors. He halts for a moment so he can find a throw pillow to sink his fangs into, positioning the scarf above his lip and against the pillow so it presses right against his hypersensitive nose. A strangled moan tears from him, his hand immediately returning to his leaking hard-on. It dips underneath the band of his boxers before it wraps around his width, squeezing tight. His body shakes and he sucks in a breath, squirming to lay flat against the leather of the sofa. Slowly he moves his hand up to encompass the head, a heavy snarl being lost into the throw pillow. He strokes himself teasingly, thumb trailing behind to caress the aching tip. His hips push into the cushion as his body moves to a natural rhythm, thrusting them up slightly as his fist falls back down toward his abdomen. The thick precum dribbling from his tip lathers his palm so his cock slides into it easily. His eyelashes tickle his high cheekbones as his eyes shut tighter, fingertips tracing the prominent vein on the underside of his shaft.

The sofa wheezes as he shifts, impatiently pushing his briefs down in one tug to rest on his mid-thighs. He scoots off of the sofa and onto the hardwood floor, kneeling as he places his fist onto the tabletop, lining his hips delicately before sliding his length into his firm grasp. He whimpers into the pillow, now damp with his saliva, and hunches over the table, his free arm curled underneath his broad torso. The fabric of the scarf tickles his nose but he inhales deeper, hips pushing in and out of his fist quickly. He imagines you beneath him instead of the table and his fist, moaning with him as his canines sink into your neck to mark you as his and only his. His destitute wails are swallowed by the soft pillow and the scarf as he keeps thrusting steadily, imagination running so wildly he can almost feel your legs on either side of him, pushing him further inside of you.

“Oh, Y/N,” he grunts, cuspids fully lengthened and sharpened now in desire, piercing the soft fabric of the pillow almost enough so his bottom and top teeth could touch through the plush object,” Y/N, I’m gonna—“

Knock knock knock.

Kirishima’s body stills as he opens his eyes, disappointment rushing through him at the sight of the coffee table underneath him. He wants to scream, but he just shuts his eyes, taking a breath in before sliding his hard cock out of his fist and tucking the slick inconvenience back into his boxers. His breath is labored and heavy, but he manages to find his jeans and slip them on anyway. “One sec,” he says loudly, fastening the button before hesitantly wiping his hand on the side of the denim. He can’t help but sulk as he walks over and picks his shirt up from the floor, breathing deeply and hoping his canines aren’t too obvious of an indicator as to what he was just doing… not to mention the angrily-pulsing dick resting against the inside of his thigh.  

He strides toward the door, opening it ready to tell Mina he thought she’d cancel when he’s greeted with your sweet face and the scent of Italian food. His jaw almost hits the floor as he gapes at you, dick pressing longingly against his jeans at your familiar smell, but in person it radiates off of you so strong he almost lunges at you. You’re looking up at him with those bright cheerful eyes he loves, a timid smile on your lips as you swing the takeout bag back and forth behind your back in anticipation.  

“Hi, Eiji,” you smile and set the bag on the ground next to the door before you turn around and take his tense body into your arms, throwing yourself onto him.  

A gasp rips from his throat but quickly turns into a cough, body trembling at your singeing touch. His jaw quivers as he conceals his pointed teeth, angling his thigh away from you strategically. “Y-Y/N, w-what are you doing here?” He manages to ask, lips sealing immediately once the words are pushed out.   His hands remain clenched at his sides; he’s scared that if he touches you now he won’t be able to stop.  

“There was a freak accident on the highway ahead of my bus… We had to turn back. My parents don’t mind though, they said we can reschedule. Maybe you won’t need to miss my mom’s noodles this time; you can come if you want. By the way, I brought Italian!” You smile as you pick up the bag and brush past him, leaving him standing there, looking at the door with a glare.

You move around the sofa and sit on one of the leather cushions, setting the bag onto the coffee table. “Ew Eiji,” he sits next to you stiffly, eyes widening as you reach over to the table and poke a finger into the slick trail of precum that had dribbled out of his fist just moments ago. “What is this? Do you ever clean this apartment?” You giggle, unfolding the paper bag the food had come in and wiping your finger on your skirt. “Anyway, I got food from your favorite place and made sure I got the breadsticks with the extra sauce ‘cause I know you lov—“

A quiet groan escapes Kirishima’s mouth as he puts his head in his hands— your scent, your alluring body, your heart-swelling gaze, just you, being here—it’s too much for his raging hormones.  

“Ei? Are you okay?” You ask, scooting closer and pressing the back of your hand to his forehead. He’s shaking and you don’t know why, so you bring his head to rest against your collar, just above your fluttering heart. “Eiji, you’re burning up…”  

He stays pressed against you, the desperation and torture he felt earlier suddenly fleeting and gone from his body as your own erases them completely. He swallows. It feels so good, but he knows it’s wrong. This is wrong when you’re just his friend and his dick is leaking into his underwear for you as you hold him like this.

“Get out,” Kirishima murmurs, eyes set on the paper bag.  

You still, slowly pulling him. “W-What Eiji?”  

“You need to leave,” he says through his teeth, jaw set tight.  

“Eijirou.. I don’t understand— is this how you treat someone when they bring you your favorite food?” You spit, hands curling into frustrated fists.

Kirishima ignores you, knowing he can apologize tomorrow when he’s in the right mindset but you being here with him at the moment could jeopardize your entire relationship.

“I… Is it… her? Is it Mina?” You murmur, and Kirishima’s gaze turns to you sharply at the drop in your tone. His lips part to say something to soothe your confidence as he sees it shatter. “I didn’t realize— I thought—” you breathe in sharply and shake your head, shooting up from your spot and rushing around the sofa.  

Kirishima beats you to the door, palm reaching over your shoulder to slam it just as you can get it open a sliver. He grabs your biceps, spinning you around and pressing you against the door with his hand as a cushion to break your impact.

“It’s never been Mina,” he snarls, knee splitting your legs and sliding up the gap between your thighs to press against your core; your panties and his jeans the only thing separating your center from his skin.

Your eyes widen and you gasp as his hands cup your face with care, scarlet eyes searing into your own with an intensity you’d never seen before. His pupils are dilating with every second, a black coal seemingly swallowed up by the burning fire of his irises.

“It’s you, Y/N,” he murmurs, eyes shutting into a long blink, and when they open again the red you’re used to is flooded with tendrils of electric amber and yellow. “It’s always been you, and it’ll always be you.”

You gape at him as he holds you there, against his front door, professing his love to you.

“I need you Y/N, I need you so bad it fucking hurts not being able to touch you,” he growls lowly. “If you can’t love me back, you have to leave, now. I don’t want your lust, I can smell it from here,” his honeyed eyes roll back as he takes in a whiff of the wanton-perfumed air around you, mouth parting and you watch his pink tongue slide over his elongated canines, feeling a tremor between your legs. His eyes open and they set straight on yours with a certain determination. 

“I can’t wake up next to you tomorrow and have tonight be just for friends with benefits. I love only you, Y/N,” Kirishima delivers, voice never quivering,“now tell me you feel the same, or go.”

There’s a slight fragility in his gaze that begs you not to break his heart. He peers into you at such a small distance that you can see every brilliant fleck of gold in his sinful eyes, warm ginger bursting around the outer ridges of his irises that focus solely on you. The dim lighting casts stretched shadows from his long, dark lashes; his bronzed skin glowing subtly to intensify his passionate gaze.

“Kirishima,” you place a hand on his clenched but trembling jaw, tilting your face to look him in the eye better. “You’ve been hurting all this time for no reason.”  

His scarlet gaze lights with hope and happiness. “Say it then,” he whispers, words soft and nearly begging, as if he fears if his voice is too loud he’ll wake from a dream.

“Kirishima Eijirou, I love you, too. God, I have beein in love with you for so long,” you reply, and he wastes no time as his mouth descends upon yours. He presses your lips to his passionately, hands resting on your hips and rubbing the smooth skin there underneath your blouse. You gasp as they guide your hips gently in circles against his kneecap, your mouth falling open at his forward actions. He takes advantage of your open mouth and darts his tongue in, tangling it with yours in a powerful embrace.  

His steady clutch on your waist drags your body up his clothed thigh, and a soft, unabashed moan falls from your lips at the action. The taut muscle of his leg between his jeans and your panties rubs graciously against your flustered center, making your head loll back to rest against the door.  

“Don’t do that,” Kirishima groans, a hand leaving your warm hip and tilting your head forward once again to look at him directly. His fingers trail against your smooth neck, feeling the rapid pulse beneath the tender skin. His palm curls softly around the back of your neck, pressing you closer to him as his other arm hooks underneath your bottom. You squeak in surprise and cling to him, legs wrapping around his midsection and core pressing upon his rigid erection.  

You look at him with wide eyes as he throws his head back, sucking in air harshly between his clenched jaw. “Fuck, yes,” he hisses, holding you tighter and stalking over to the sofa. He places you in between the two cushions, standing in front of you and looking down, breathing laboriously before he tilts his head back again, willing for some kind of miraculous strength to get him through the night without sealing you to him forever.

“How come you get to do that and I don’t?” You frown as he looks down at you before he crouches, his face dropping just below your own to gaze up at you.  

“Because you don’t have the urge to sink your three-centimeter canines into my throat,” his upper lip curls back as he shows you the result of his attraction to you.  

You look at him with unintentionally pouted lips, batting your eyelashes as you take in his words. Isn’t that how werewolves marry or something? You think. Kirishima had explained it all once before, one night when you were both wasted at three in the morning at some bar on the outskirts of the city.  

“God, can you look unattractive for one second while I try to pull myself together?” Kirishima groans, a hand running through his disheveled hair.

“Who said I want you to pull yourself together?” You inquire, scooting toward the lip of the cushion.  

Kirishima looks at you warily with an underlying, longing hunger before you place your hands on either side of his sharp jaw and bring his lips to yours. Your eyes close immediately and his blissfully, your hands gliding down his neck to his broad chest. You grapple onto his wide shoulders, one hand burying into the hair at the base of his neck to push him into the kiss even more.  

His throat vibrates gently with an almost-inaudible growl, and you part his tender lips with a swipe of your tongue, the pink muscle coasting in and gently feeling the warm, smooth hardness of his cuspids.

Kirishima untucks your blouse in one pull, fingers nimbly undoing each button before sliding the clothing off your shoulders and tossing it away. His hands lay strategically on your ribs, fingertips brushing the underwire of your bra just barely.  

He pulls you forward into his arms, hands splaying onto your back with delight, fingers undoing the fastening between your shoulder blades with glee. You lean into him as he flings the bra in the direction of the blouse, mouth instantly latching to your breast and tongue twirling around the swollen bud. You wail, pushing him closer as his teeth bump against your nipple and his lips grow taut with a warm smirk, depraved gaze intense as ever.

You want more than ever to throw your head back onto the top of the sofa, but you know you’re forbidden to do so. Instead, you slide your body further down onto the cushions, hips brushing against Kirishima’s torso as his mouth leaves your nipples, your face coming to a stop directly in front of his. Your hands cup his angular jaw again, coaxing his lips onto yours into an ardent kiss. His long eyelashes flutter against your blushed cheeks, his coarse hair drifting softly through your digits.  

His hands land on your rolling hips, scuttling closer on his knees so his crotch feels the steady rhythm. He hums, a primitive trembling in his throat that sounds more like a soft growl. Your hands fall to the hem of his snug t-shirt, which he gladly expels into the corner toward your blouse and bra. You lean back a bit and admire his toned form. His broad chest, pectorals curving dramatically to his wide shoulders seamlessly; the v shape tapering down to the top of his jeans; the faint trail of dark hair waning below the brass button to his jeans; the way his abdominal muscles flex with each heavy breath; the salient outline against his thigh that both he and you know aches for your attention.  

You can’t help yourself. You reach between his strong thighs, fingers skimming along the bulge mockingly. Kirishima’s head rolls full circle, hand clutching your wrist tightly as he stares into you, lips parting and hot pink tongue gliding along his white, sharp teeth. “That was very naughty of you,” he murmurs, honeyed eyes darkening to a burnt orange. Trepidation ignites in your heart, but also desire floods your senses as well as your panties.  

“Eijirou,” you breathe and his lip curls back into a snarl, a loud growl releasing from his throat. His nostrils flare and he swallows harshly.  

“Say it again,” he orders, leaning into your face.

“E-Eijirou,” it comes out as a whisper, but his sensitive ears hear the slight whine to your tone, and his cock jumps at the sound against your eager fingertips. “You like it when I say your name, Eiji?”  

His tongue runs swiftly over his lip, his eyeing your chest hips hungrily. His hand reached forward on its own accord, sliding effortlessly under the soft material of your skirt to press against your warmed, wet panties. His lips curve into a devious smirk, fangs poking out slightly as his dark, copper-tainted eyes set on yours. “Mmm, and you like it when I growl for you, baby girl?”  

“God, yes Eiji,” you answer and gulp at his overwhelming intensity. He trains his gaze to the movement of your fragile throat, tongue flicking around one canine subconsciously. A deep purr of sorts emanates from him in approval, making your legs tremble and press together around his intruding forearm.  

He smiles devilishly, white teeth glinting in the dim lighting. His other hand circles round your back, pushing your tailbone so your body slides forward on the couch, to the very edge of the cushion. His fingers nudge your thong aside, immediately met with your poignant arousal. The tips of his middle and ring finger separate your folds facilely, gliding over your entrance and clit making you bite your lip to hold in an impatient moan. “Oh baby, you’re so wet for me,” he chuckles. “If only we’d figured this out sooner.”

“Eiji, fuck,” you cry when he rubs your clit gently, your jaw trembling as you sag against his arm’s firm hold and the back of the sofa. You can’t throw your head back so you lean forward, elbows falling on Kirishima’s generous shoulders, the side of your face against his soft hair as his tongue guides a pebbled nipple into his mouth, caressing it slowly and pressing it against his teeth. You whimper pathetically, his thumb replacing his fingers as they slide down and glide half-way right into your awaiting entrance.  

He hooks the two fingers and presses repeatedly, making you shove his face closer to your breasts in pleasure. He slides them deeper, knuckles lapping against your slick entrance as his tongue works diligently on your nipple. You clench around him and moan loudly at the depth his fingers achieve, the feeling of total ecstasy near. It had been a long time since a man had touched you, and it was no where near as incredible as having Kirishima’s thick fingers rubbing inside you.

“Eijirou, that feels so—” you warn but he only picks up the pace. He leans down, tongue replacing his thumb smoothly and you almost scream. He strokes your clit fervently, tongue lapping persistently up and down as his long canines brush on either side, his fingers curling and straightening at the same pace. “Fuck Eiji— I’m seriously gonna cum,” you pant, falling back against the back of the sofa.  

He looks up at you mischievously, dark eyes alight with arousal and a touch of humor. You feel his full lips in a smirk as he wraps them around your clit, tongue lavishing it faster. One hand falls to his hair, gripping it tight as the other curls against your mouth, your eyes shutting tight as your orgasm smashes against you like a wave crashing down upon you. You moan, body quivering in Kirishima’s strong grip, wiggling pointlessly against the sofa cushions.  

Kirishima doesn’t cease until you’ve returned from your high, standing up and unfastening his jeans quickly, pushing them down and kicking them off when they reach his ankles. You sit up from your slumped position, hands landing on his thighs and traveling around to rub the backs of them in anticipation. Kirishima watches you hungrily, his thick cock longing for your attention. You lean forward, almost touching where he wants you most, before you look up at him and give him your most innocent doe eyes you can muster after having his sinful session on you just moments before. You bat your lashes and he growls loudly, fists clenching at his sides.  

“Y/N,” he advises, tone a little menacing. You tilt your head and press your lips against his erection through his briefs, a low groan sounding from above you. You kiss down toward the tip and back up to the base of his shaft before you reach up and untuck him, briefs sliding to the hardwood floor. You smirk as you look at what you’ve done to him. His dick is throbbing gently as you rest it against a palm, beads of translucent-white precum adorning the tip of the red, swollen tip. You repeat your kiss trail on his bare skin, his cock twitching at the action as you feel the vein underneath contract harshly. When you reach the base your tongue pokes out, tracing up and down the prominent vein on the underside.  

Kirishima watches you with a dark, maleficent gaze, throat tightening and a growl tumbling out when you take the head into your mouth, sucking teasingly as your tongue dances around the leaking tip. “Fuck yes, baby girl. Just like that."

You retreat with a loud pop, smiling up at him and his heart flutters in his chest at the pureness of it. With an open mouth you glide your tongue along the sides of him to slicken his entire length before your lips encompass the tip and suddenly his dick is touching the back of your throat and you don’t even seem to mind. Kirishima lets out a strangled moan of shock, watching your head bob energetically up and down his hot length. He watches you in awe for a few minutes, just dazed this is really happening and he’s not waking up abruptly like when he’d dreamt this scenario so many nights before.  

He snaps out of it suddenly, aware his cock is tensing the way it does when he’s about to cum. You’d noticed, too, at the feel of the harsh, bulging vein on the under-shaft, slowing down to a halt and leaning back to catch your breath.

“Baby you did so good,” he praises, hands cupping your face and you beam at him proudly. “Now take off your skirt for me.”  

You comply eagerly, shimmying out of the cotton garment, your thong following close behind. Kirishima smugly watches the stings of your arousal snap as your panties are thrown onto the floor, fist stroking his length slowly to keep himself at bay.

“Turn,” he instructs, other hand guiding you to face away from him,” knees on the couch, now.”  

You do as told, looking back at him over your shoulder expectantly. He smiles and steps forward, and your back arches as you feel his length glide against your dripping entrance.  

“Be a good girl for me, okay? Do not let me get anywhere near your throat, got it? If I do, I’ll sink my teeth into you so fast you won’t know what’s happening. And then you’re stuck with me for life. So watch out for yourself, baby. This is your only warning,” he murmurs, lips brushing the shell of your ear before a hand lands on your hip and suddenly he’s pushing into you, a gasp tearing from your throat as he stretches you to your capacity. When his hips bump against your ass your eyes have already rolled back in delirium, your lip falling open in shock.  

He pulls out half-way before sheathing back inside slowly, a whine releasing from your mouth. His hand remains on your hip while the other grabs a fistful of your hair, trailing out again before snapping in. The tip of his cock nestles so deep in you that tears dot along your bottom lashes; the feeling is so blissful and fulfilling that your emotions skyrocket.  

“Eijirou— oh, yes,” you whimper as he repeats the action, movements still paced and measured to help you adjust to his size.

“Feel good, baby? ‘Cuz this feels amazing for me— you feel amazing on me, Y/N,” he grunts, fingers gripping the skin of your hip tighter as he angles your face so he can see it with his other hand.  

“Yes, fuck yes, you feels so good,” you commend as the pace intensifies, making a moan spill out of you. He groans from behind you, letting go of your hair and placing his hand on your other hip to keep you steady. You clutch onto the top of the sofa tightly as he pounds into you, and you gasp as a hand leaves your hip for a moment and delivers a sharp smack to your ass, making your back arch into Kirishima’s grasp. You’re babbling now, your entire body thrumming with pleasure. “Oh god—ohgodohgodohgodohgod.”

Kirishima hisses as he watches the bright pink mark on your ass cheek tremble as his hips slam against yours, bottom lip tucked under his offending cuspids. He licks his lip to keep from drooling onto you, eyes trained on your perfect figure that he’s fucking into the sofa. Pleasure courses through his body, intensified at the sound and obvious proof of your own satisfaction as he thrusts into you quickly.  

“Again,” you lament softly, and if he hadn’t been a werewolf with keen hearing he wouldn’t have heard your request over the assaulting sound of your skin slapping against his. He delivers and slaps your other cheek sharply, a lustful mix between a gasp and a moan escaping you.  

“Fuck, you’re so sexy, baby,” Kirishima admires, smirking as you turn slightly to look at him. He grabs your shoulder and pulls your torso back, slamming it against his as his other hand wraps around your throat snugly to stop his innate temptation to leave his mark there. The other hand leaves your arm and instead bands around your waist, pressing you flush against him. His hips retreat and pound into you in the new position, and you rest your head back onto his shoulder since your neck is safe from his view with his large hand covering it.

You stare into each other as he continues, and you move your hips back as he moves his in, making each thrust more powerful. His lips find yours and they mould easily, your hand coming up to caress his jaw and press his face closer to yours.

“Eiji, your cock feels so good,” you pant between his kisses and potent strokes, “God, you’re so big.”

“Mmm, I love when you talk dirty to me,” Kirishima murmurs against your mouth, a bead of sweat trickling down the side of his face.  

It’s fucked up but his tight hold on your throat is only turning you on more, making your eyes close as each thrust feels better than the last.

“Fuck, Ei,” you groan, slouching back against his toned form as the pleasure is too great.  

“Here, baby,” he says, cock slipping out of you before picking you up, walking briskly out of the common space and into a hallway, then finally into his bedroom. He shuts the door with his foot, laying you gently onto his messy bedsheets and blankets. He rolls you over onto your stomach before he climbs on top of you, hovering above you before he slips back in with ease.  

You moan and tuck your face into the sheets that smell like him, his arms bracing on either side of your head as his forearms rest next to yours, elbows bent and fists clenched. His hips swing effortlessly into yours, making a loud, crude slapping sound echo around the room. You moan almost pathetically into the sheets, turning to lay your face to the side so Kirishima can hear your noises of pleasure. He kisses your cheek sweetly before moving to your jaw and nibbling there gently, his tempo still quick and lethal. His tip, nestled deep inside, assaults your g-spot and you purr in content at the sensation, a gasp escaping you as he plunges in a little more forcefully. His hand wraps around your throat again, lifting your head up as his lips meet yours tenderly. His tongue plays with yours gently, a stark contrast to your hips. The hold on your throat is firm but also soft, and his thumb brushes along your jawline as his fingertips push into your racing pulse.

His hand leaves you and suddenly you’re on your back, Kirishima dragging your body up the bed so your head lays on the pillows. He smiles widely before he swoops in and his lips take yours again. His cock glides right back in, and you moan loudly into the kiss as the tip brushes your g-spot at a different angle than before. Your pussy quivers around him as he picks up the pace again, one arm folding under and around your waist and the other holding your chin, elbow digging into the mattress to keep himself propped up. His kisses trail from your lips to your chin and jaw, tongue sliding out and lathering your skin gently. Your eyes open as it slides down your throat, and the slight point of his canines poke against your skin. You quickly take his head in your hands, guiding his lips back to yours.  

“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he murmurs against your lips, eyebrows scrunched in concentration, breath heavy as his exhausted hips keep up the erratic pace against yours. He whimpers as your walls constrict around him firmly.  

“I’m close, too, Eiji,” you mumble, legs folding around his waist, your arms tangling around his torso with your hands on each shoulder blade, fingernails gripping his slick skin. One of his hands is pressed into the sheets by your shoulder, propping him up, and the other is going white on your hip from his tight hold.  

“God, you feel so fucking good,” he snarls, voice low and resonating with a growl. You watch his abdomen accordion as he flexes in and out of you with apparent effort, drops of sweat gliding down his broad chest. He throws his head back and whines as your nails dig into his strong shoulder muscles, chasing his imminent ecstasy.  

Watching his body tremble and exert itself to bring you to your euphoria pushes you toward your own climax, and the feeling of his hand on your hip and the way his lip pinches between his teeth makes your eyes roll back and your body tense as you fall off the cliff, hurtling down into the thrashing waves of your orgasm. You call his name in a strangled cry, limbs clutching onto him for dear life as the pleasure shakes through you. His hips don’t stop; plunging further into you and pushing you harder under the tides of your climax. Your body shivers and you’re so out of it you don’t notice Kirishima’s thrusts becoming volatile, his arm that had once propped his torso above yours curling beneath your back to press your torso against his.  

A growl of victory splits from deep in his throat as he approaches his own high, muscles tense in anticipation for the long-awaited prize. He shudders and suddenly his cuspids are lodged deep in your throat, and it feels like he’s just been run over by an eighteen-wheeler of ecstasy. His jaw shakes as his eyes close, abdomen convulsing as he spills deep into you in long, relentless spurts. The combination of his orgasm and his marking you almost make him pass out in an exhaustive pleasure.

Just as you’d come to from your orgasm, searing pain splices through you as Kirishima’s fangs split your skin and neck tissue, your jaw opening but no sound releasing. And just as fast as the pain had arrived, it’s replaced and you’re submerged back into the tidal waves of a new climax, making you clench and flex around Kirishima’s throbbing member that pulses into you.  

His fingers clasp the skin of your hips so strongly the skin turns white, but your own nails lodge into his shoulders to grapple him to you; the both of you holding each other as if your lives depend on it. The sheets around you are twisted and damp from your sweat, but the two of you only seem to care about each other; drifting numbly and blissfully in your shared euphoria.

After a moment Kirishima’s body sags, sliding slightly to the side of yours as his muscles stop tensing and he stops physically releasing into you. His teeth still woven deep into your neck, he doesn’t dare move his face.  

As the tides form your orgasm slowly recede, your body hums in a warm satisfaction and a certain numbness. Your hands rove over Kirishima’s expansive back soothingly, and he exhales with a content but tired moan in response.  

Very timidly, Kirishima stretches his jaw to the maximum before he pulls away from your neck, leaving your head buzzing lightly. He licks the puncture wounds instantly, enzymes in his saliva helping to start the healing process while he cleans away the scarlet blood that beads there. He ghosts a kiss over your jaw before he pulls away, smiling warily as his eyes meet yours.  

The primal amber and yellow shades are gone, leaving behind the warm red you’d fallen in love with. They cast over your face in total adoration, with a hint of fear.  

He looks away as he slides out of you, his release immediately following and forming a wet puddle on his sheets. Your cheeks flush even though it isn’t your fault, but he just smiles and presses a kiss to one of them as if silencing your unnecessary embarrassment.  

Kirishima reclines next to you, pulling the blanket at the foot of the mattress up to rest on top of the two of you. He collects you into his arms, your body weak and unprotesting. His legs entwine with yours, pressing every piece of skin he can to yours. He makes sure to be careful with your neck, kissing it gently once more before settling his face next to yours. The kiss makes the skin tingle and heat, a fuzzy warmth flooding your body as you smile shyly.  

“I told you not to let me get near your neck,” Kirishima says softly as your eyes close, eyelashes brushing over his collarbone. “Do you know what this means, Y/N?” He tries again at your silence, thinking you don’t understand the severity of the situation. His fingertips run up and down your naked spine relaxingly.  

“It means you need to work on your self-control,” you murmur, giggling quietly into his chest.

“Y/N, this isn’t a joke,” he says lowly, “I don’t kno-“

You cut him off. “It isn’t a joke, I know, Eijirou. It means we’re tied together, forever— meaning we, this, us— we’re permanent. We’re wolf-married or whatever the term is now, I know. You can never love another person again, and neither can I,” your hand rests on his pectoral, a finger tracing along his nipple so you have something to look at instead of his face. “If you can’t deal with that, I’m sorry, but I can. I’m yours, Kirishima, always have been, always will be. If you don’t want that, then I’m sorry but you just sealed your fate with mine and there’s nothing I can do about that.”

“Oh,” Kirishima exhales, blinking. The only light in the room is from the window above the desk, moonlight casting the bed in a dim white light. He shuffles, pulling your body closer to his, smiling into your hair with a stupidly happy grin. “I just wanted to make sure that’s what you want. I.. uh, I feel the same,” he murmurs against the shell of your ear giddily.  

“Good,” you reply, eyes closing as you nuzzle your face closer to his warm heart.

It’s silent for a moment before Kirishima clears his throat gently. You peek one eye open, awaiting his words.

“Um… I love you, Y/N… a lot,” he says rather nervously, gulping softly as he pauses for a response.

“I love you too, Eiji,” you kiss his chest gently, sighing contently.

“And, uh, Y/N?”  

“What, Eiji?”

“I’m glad it’s you who I’m wolf-married to.”

   ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

.

.

when he go from wolf to puppy 🥺 thank you for reading babies <3 & pls don’t be shy to let me know if you enjoyed!! 

➥ masterlist 

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

[iwaisuke]

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

[mandoalorian]

If you’re taking requests RN can you hit me with them fighting about something big and they think reader is gonna break up with them but then the reader is like uhm no it was a fight but I still love you and then they get all soft afterwards with Maxwell, Frankie or Javi? You choose I love them all equally (BTw if not that’s okay obvi)

follow up: “ (I meant Javier Peña from my last ask 🥰) “ 

Thank you so much for this request!! I’ve had a pretty lousy day but writing this for you was really the highlight so I hope you enjoy! I was going to write for Maxwell because he’s my number one favourite, but I thought I’d challenge myself with Javier since I haven’t wrote for him yet.

Lie To Me [Javier Peña x Reader]

READ PART TWO HERE

READ PART THREE HERE

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: mention of drug trafficking and general Narcos topics, blood/a little gore but not too much, angst anGST ANGSTTTT!!!

MASTERLIST | SUBMIT REQUESTS

"I just can't believe you'd be so reckless!" you exclaimed, dampening the wash cloth and carefully dabbing it into your boyfriend's arm. Javier stayed silent, although it was hard not to hiss and curse in pain as you washed away the blood seeping from the deep cut in his bicep. "It's not like you at all Javi. I don't understand."

Your boyfriend had a history of being impulsive, yes, but ever since you became 'official' and started living together, he had changed. It was like this new experience had grounded him. Javier wasn't offering you any information about the incident which, truthfully, infuriated you. The cut was deep but everytime you brought up the hospital, he'd grumpily tell you he was fine. That he's had worse. After just a simple look over his wound, you knew he needed stitches. This was serious, and you knew he never really liked to discuss his work with you, but this was different. His whole demeanor had changed.

And this wasn't about work, really. Javier was closing himself off, shutting himself out from you. Once upon a time he'd make a habit out of this. He found that it was just easier to bottle away his emotions and not talk about them. But that was no good for either of you; not healthy at all. Javier knew this. He was trying to change for the better— improve himself, all for you. That's how he got in the entanglement in the first place. You didn't know this, but he was trying to protect you.

Javier was so sure his disguise worked. He wasn't a spy, he didn't often go undercover. He had very little experience; but he was so close to catching this kingpin, he just went with it. Lucky for Javier, he was blessed with the charisma of a criminal and could charm his way out of most situations if it became necessary. Unfortunately for him, the cartel was already one step ahead, playing along with his little charade.

"Javier Peña, DEA." the kingpin grunted, reaching into the pocket of Javier's leather jacket and snatching Javier’s ID. "You really thought you could fool us?" the kingpin chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. Javi's jaw ticked when he saw that his abrupt action had caused his wallet to drop on the floor. The kingpin picked it up and clicked it open. Luckily, Javier had nothing of value in there. Maybe ten dollars and a condom. At least, that's what he thought.

He watched the kingpin's face soften under the dimmed amber light as he adjusted Javier's wallet, tilting it in his hands. His eyes narrowed and a smirk wormed its way across his lips. Javi knotted his eyebrows together in bewilderment.

"Quite the pretty lady you scored here, Agent Peña," the kingpin snaked, gesturing for his lieutenants to come on over and take a look. The one on the left took a drag of his cigarette and wolf whistled when he caught an eye on the picture. "Nice tits too." The kingpin shrugged his shoulders, lighting a cigarette for himself. "Would be a shame if something were to happen to her."

His threat set fire to his heart and his job felt like it had just gotten a whole more personal. He had been working for the DEA for over a decade now; he knew how dangerous cartels and drug lords could be. He would not and could not ever let anything happen to you. He swore his life depended on it. But now he was standing before the Capo and his men, and in typical Javier Peña fashion, his first instinct was to fight.

He went to throw a punch at the kingpin, but one of the lieutenants grabbed Javier's wrist mid-air whilst the other one flicked open a pen knife, dragging the blade through Javier's bicep and ripping open the sleeve of his cream coloured shirt. 

Javier groaned at the stinging sensation and his crimson red blood began to stain through the material. The kingpin laughed again, before tutting and shaking his head. "So, you have a soft spot for her? I expected better from you Agent Peña. Last I heard, your reputation wasn't one for commitments. But myself? I'm a family man too. I love my wife. Our kids. So here's the deal. I'll let you go, but you tell the DEA your so-called undercover mission was a bust. You go home, into the arms of your woman, and speak nothing of this. This stays between you, me, and my men. Do you understand?" 

Javier was never one to follow rules— especially not ones made by cartel leaders, but he was outnumbered and he knew the Capo had an upper hand. Javier nodded, pressing his hand on the cut and applying somewhat pressure to stop him from bleeding out. "Can't go to hospital either," the kingpin told you with a roll of his eyes. "If that wasn't already obvious. No one can find out about what went on here. Agent Peña, I have thousands of falcons all over Columbia. They can find out where you and your pretty lady live. And I promise, it won't be pretty."

Javier gulped, not wanting to imagine and nodded his head. There was no need for anymore fuss. The kingpin popped Javier's wallet and ID back into his jacket pocket and pat him on the shoulder. "Agent Peña, I hope I never have to see you again." the kingpin narrowed his eyes before gesturing his lieutenants to open the door and let Javier out. Javi scoffed, but stayed silent. The situation could've gotten a lot worse. He walked outside to his truck, guided by the sicarios of course, and made his way home.

When Javier stumbled into your shared apartment, colour drained out of his skin and blood seeping through his fingers where he was holding his bicep. Your heart sank. His hair was stuck up in places from his cold sweat and he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. "Baby," he grumbled. "Could you- could you help me with this?"

"Javier what happened?" you gasped, a knot forming in your throat. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes when you took in the state of him. Sure, Javier had scars, and you didn't mind— but this was the first time you had ever seen him so injured. "I- I thought it was an office day." you exclaimed, holding him gently by his shoulders and guiding him into the bathroom.

"Was," Javier gritted out. "But you know how unpredictable work can be. We got a lead. So- I was sent out. But uh-, everything is fine now. I sorted everything out and erm-, you know." Javier gasped when you ripped open his shirt and pulled it off his torso, dropping it to the tiled bathroom floor.

"Jump." you ordered him, pointing at the sink. Javier obeyed and hopped onto the corner of the counter nearby the sink. He watched as you wet a washcloth under warm running water and padded it gently over his cut. As the faucet was still on, Javier leaned over and rinsed his blood stained hands from where he had been applying pressure on the open wound. "Javi, this cut— it's so deep. I think you need stitches." you said with worry, carefully analysing the depth of his injury.

"No." Javier spat immediately, the aggression and urgency in his voice making you jump slightly. He saw your reaction and placed a hand on your cheek, cupping it and taking a good look at you. You were his angel. He had done the right thing, and he wouldn't screw up now. He couldn't lose you. "No," he repeated, this time with conscious effort to sound less stern. "I'm a big boy, okay? Please just bandage me up."

Your eyes flicked from the cut to Javier, and you hesitated for a few moments. "Okay," you agreed quietly. You knew Javier well enough to know that there was no point in arguing with him. All of this sounded highly suspicious but you knew that you had to trust him. You kneeled down to the cabinet under the sink and took out the green first aid kit. Unbuckling it, you located some bandages, tape, and a tourniquet. "Shit Javi, it's still bleeding." you sighed, pressing the now ruined wash cloth back into his cut.

He choked up at the sudden pressure you applied. "It's okay," he reassured, running his free hand through his short dark hair. "Once I'm bandaged up, I'll be fine."

"Javier, who did this to you?" you frowned, carefully removing the washcloth and unravelling the tourniquet. "Who hurt you?"

Javier stayed silent. He wanted to tell you. He didn't want to have to lie to you, or keep secrets, but he was too caught up in the moment— he didn't want to risk your safety. His paranoia settled in. What if the kingpin's sicarios had followed him home? What if they were listening in? Javier's fists clenched around the cabinet he was sitting on, knuckles turning white. Between his injury, and the thought of losing you— he knew which hurt more.

"Are you just going to ignore me?" you puffed out, folding your arms across your chest in annoyance and looking at him in the eyes. Javi looked down at his feet, not saying a word. "So that's a yes?" you questioned further. Still no response. You shook your head and finished bandaging up his injury. Javier hopped off the counter and followed you into your shared bedroom where you opened your closet.

You threw him a clean shirt and he mumbled a 'thank you' before pulling his arms into it, careful not to disrupt his now bandaged bicep. You rummaged deep into the back of your wardrobe and pulled out a duffel bag, unzipping it and throwing piles of clothes into it. T-shirts, jeans, socks and underwear. Javier watched you, bewilderment written all over his face.

"Baby, what are you doing?" he asked eventually, standing with one hand on his hip and watching you intently.

You didn't respond. If he wanted to ignore you, fine. But two could play at that game. You zipped up the duffel bag and hung it on your shoulder, grabbing your car keys from your bedside table. As you left the bedroom and walked to your front door, Javier raced after you. "Hey- where are you going?" he demanded, panic coursing through his veins.

You couldn't leave. What if the sicarios were outside— watching for you. Waiting for you. Javier grabbed your arm and for a second you felt the slightest touch of empathy when your gaze met his anxious blown eyes. You quickly washed away that feeling. If Javier wasn't willing to be honest in your relationship, you weren't willing to stick around.

"I just-" Javier took a deep breath. "Figured, um- please. Please stay with me," Javier begged, dropping his hand to your hand and intertwining your fingers. "I'm sorry. Can we just forget what happened? We can go to bed, order take-out, watch a corny movie? I need your comfort." Javier compromised.

The idea did sound appealing but you wanted to know what had happened. It drove you insane. You sighed and shook your head. "No Javier," your gaze was cold and empty. "You're a big boy, right? Comfort yourself." And with that, you left the apartment, slamming the door behind you.

Javier raced to the window and watched as your truck pulled out of the driveway. He looked up and down the street for any suspicious cars that might be stalking you or following you, but thankfully, there was nothing. Nevertheless, he cursed himself for letting you get away. That was the last thing he wanted. He kept the information from what happened with the cartel a secret from you because he didn't want to fill you with worry.

Luckily, Javier knew that there were only a handful of places you could go in Colombia. You weren't too familiar with Bogota and so he ran with the first place that came to his head. Connie and Steve's. He raced to the phone that hung on the kitchen wall and dialled their home number.

"Hey, Con? Is Steve there?" Javier asked in panic. He didn't really want to talk to Connie about this because there was a very good chance she'd take your side over his. And, rightfully so. There had been plenty of times Steve had kept work business away from Connie in fear of hurting or worrying her. But she always found out in the end.

"He's with Olivia," Connie replied. "Javier, what's going on?"

"Uh," Javier ran a hand through his hair in stress. "Listen. I think y/n is on her way over. We had a fight. She's not talking to me. Everything is a mess. But, I'm on my way too. She took the truck so I'll have to walk but- I'm coming, okay? So just, keep her there. Keep her safe."

Connie scrunched her nose up at Javier's words. "Safe?" she repeated before lowering her voice. "Javi… what did you do?" she asked sternly.

"I'll explain everything when I get there." Javier promised and slammed the phone back down on the hook. Not even bothering to grab his jacket, he raced out of his apartment and ran to Connie and Steve's.

Of course you were first to arrive. Javier can read you like an open book. He knew you'd be going to see Connie. You let yourself into their apartment and flopped down on the sofa. Connie, who had of course been expecting you, entered the living room to greet you with a cup of hot tea. You didn't even know she was already brewing a coffee for Javier and Steve in the kitchen. You took a sip of the herbal drink and smiled appreciatevly. 

"So, what brings you here this evening?" Connie asked, raising an eyebrow with inquiry.

You sighed, nursing the mug in your cold hands. "Javier." you mumbled, as if that one word was enough of an explanation. Connie nodded her head understandably when Steve stumbled in.

"I put Olivia to bed," he announced before his eye caught on you. "Oh hey y/n."

You offered Steve another smile.

"Javier's being a dick again," Connie rolled her eyes and Steve shook his head.

"No," you replied. That felt unfair. "He's just being distant. Shutting me out."

"Well that's Javi for ya," Steve shrugged, sitting on the arm of the sofa and taking a box of cigarettes out of his pocket.

"No but— we had gotten better," you explained. "I mean. We talked a lot. He'd finally started opening up."

Before you could say anymore, the front door to Steve and Connie's door burst open. Javier stood at the doorframe, heaving and panting like he had just ran a marathon. Steve looked confused, but Connie just smiled, knowing that he had sprinted over just to try and fix things with you. You didn't know how to feel. Javier's chocolate brown eyes were sparkling with unspent tears and his heart blossomed when he saw that you were safe. That no hard harm had come to you.

He approached you and fell to his knees. You placed your mug on the coffee table and let your boyfriend take both of your hands. His thumb rubbed soothing circles into your wrist. Once again, Javier was speechless— just wanting this moment to last forever. Wanting you to be safe and healthy in your arms.

Connie nudged Steve who cleared his throat. "Uh, we'll give you two some privacy." he said before dragging Connie out of the living room and into the kitchen.

The second it was just you two, Javier dropped his head and his heart broke. "I'm so sorry," he sobbed, warm tears falling down his cheeks. You shuffled off the sofa and fell to your knees, facing him, and pulled him into a hug. 

"Don't cry," you hushed. "Javier… I just wish you could be honest with me."

"When you left earlier, shit, I thought I had lost you for good. I thought you were never coming back." he admitted, his voice croaking as the ache in his heart intensified. Your face softened at his revelation. "I know it might not seem like it, but everything I do, I do it because I love you."

You ran your fingers through his hair and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I worry about you Javi," you whispered. "And seeing you so injured today, it really scared me. You weren't telling me anything. Do you understand how that might make me feel?"

"I do," Javi promised, squeezing your hands tight. "When I said the DEA sent me out on a mission… that wasn't exactly true. I found a lead myself. And I didn't tell anyone. I went out to pursue the lead and got in an entanglement with the Capo himself. He saw the photo of you that I keep in my wallet and he threatened to hurt you. He said if I told anyone about my findings at the cartel, he'd get his sicarios to hunt you down and… listen, my love. They do bad things to pretty girls like you. And I couldn't risk it. I was so afraid."

Javier felt ashamed. Ashamed for lying to you, and also, he didn't want you to see him as weak. But you could never think such a thing of your boyfriend. He was the strongest man you knew. So brave and compassionate. And after this revelation, you saw a whole new side to him.

Your finger gently brushed over his bicep. "The capo did this to you?" you whispered, feeling your cheeks burning with rage at how a drug lord had gaslit Javier into staying silent by making threats over your safety.

"No, but one of his men," Javier explained. "When, when they mentioned you. I got so mad. I raised my fist and-"

"Oh Javi," you whispered, wiping the tears that filled your eyes. You pressed your forehead against his. "You could've just told me."

"I wish I had now." Javier admitted. "I really thought you were going to break up with me."

You pulled away from your boyfriend, but your hands were still resting on his shoulders. You looked deep into his dark eyes and found nothing but guilt and remorse plastered over his face. "No," you shook your head and offered him a small smile that immediately eased him. "We had a fight, but I still love you."

Javier smiled back, the corners of his eyes crinkling in delight. "I love you too." he grinned. "Come on, let's go home." he said, taking your hand and pulling you to your feet.

"Okay," you hummed. "Cuddling up in bed with take-out and a corny movie sounds great right about now." you reflected back on Javier's previous compromise and Javier let out a hearty chuckle, pulling your hand up and brushing his lips delicately over your knuckles.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." he professed, his eyes sparkling. "So please baby, there's going to be times I fuck up- but please don't leave me."

"Whatever the future has in store for us, we will get through it together." you assured him with a soft kiss on his lips.

Permanent taglist:

@goth-topic​  @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria

[janiedean]

if you ever wrote that rant about grrm making jon his chosen one deconstruction i'd be very happy to read it 👀

hello anon sorry for the lateness but here we go *deep breath*

sssooo, I had once ranted about it though not mentioning the thing I mentioned in those tags so lemme see if I can find the op and like... cp the main argument and amend it bc it was long, but okay so I found it, original anon asked me: why is Jon considered to be one of the most special characters grrm created? Why is he not the typical hero of fantasy books?, my original answer was here if anyone wants to go there but basically lemme just cp the first part making it shorter and then I'm adding:

first thing, the Typical Post-Tolkien Chosen One With A Shitty Life Before He Finds Out He Is Chosen™ character (I’m saying post-tolkien because every fantasy writer in existence who copies tolkien thinks that lotr went like that and instead it didn’t) usually goes through the following steps: his life sucks up until the beginning of the series, his family generally hates him/her or doesn’t appreciate them or abuses them or anyway doesn’t make their life easier and they’ve never known any different, but *something* never quite worked right and they always knew something was missing in their life, they just didn’t know why. suddenly someone who knows they were Chosen™ shows up and tells them that they’re actually Special because of this this and that and they have a quest to go on to save the world or something. our hero/heroine obviously is finally validated and while their quest is hard and full of hardships and maybe they lose a few friends along the way, finding out that they were Chosen gives their life meaning, they usually find love/friends/everything they didn’t have before until they fulfill the Prophecy™ and live more or less happily ever after, possibly after hooking up with the Person Of Their Dreams with whom they had UST up until the last twenty pages of the book. basically: being Chosen™ in regular fantasy novels is a good thing because suddenly you’re special and all the crap you suffered acquires a new meaning and in the end it made your life better.

jon snow is a complete overhaul of about everything in this sense because

instead of having a family who hates him he has a family who actually mostly loves him, and with ned it’s arguably so much that he risks royal treason by keeping him hidden from his *best friend* - sure, there’s cat and peripherally sansa, but his issues stem from the fact that he feels lesser because he’s a bastard (as far as he knows) and it’s a *class* issue, not a *my family hates me* issue not counting catelyn obv but that's what gives him freudian issues more on that in the emended part later

no one actually knows that he’s Chosen™ - like mel could get there and probably will and someone will put two and two together when his parentage comes out in the open, but he doesn’t have a gandalf or mentor who shows him The Way Towards His Quest

so instead of going from ‘my life sucks but I’m going on a quest which is gonna be a+’ he actively chooses to leave a fairly decent situation (a household he knows, siblings who love him - ned actually hoped he’d become robb’s counselor or right hand man or something from what we can gather) because he feels like he has to prove he’s better than his name and goes to the Crappiest Place In Westeros. like idk if people grasp it, but the wall is basically a prison and at the ripe age of fourteen he decides that it’s totally a good and honorable choice (his only choice actually) to go defend the realm in the freezing cold along with a bunch of criminals/derelicts/rejects of society

at which point he makes friends among said rejects and let’s remember that it’s the point where he actually has to do his first an only privilege when donal noye made him go like hey you were brought up with nobles these ppl are here because they stole bread, and that helps making him more into the person he is rn but like your tyopical fantasy hero who has had a shitty life doesn’t usually have to acknowledge that other people might have had it worse

then he goes on the Quest where he finds his first One True Love, and that’s where it turns even worse because usually the quest is where things start to go right for the Hero™, instead for jon they start to go wronger, because first he has to go undercover which pretty much tests most of his belief/code system, he falls in love with a girl he has to betray, half of his friends and his lord commander die along the way, while he’s off doing his thing winterfell gets taken/burned and robb dies when jon openly stated that he also was going to the wall to defend his family and keep them safe (yeaaah worked out real well), when he goes back to the wall he has to fight the people he lived with for months, the woman he loves dies in his arms and he can’t do anything about it and he’s aware it couldn’t have gone any other way, people put defending the wall on him and then put his loyalty in question, when stannis shows up with a legitimization (which is everything he ever wanted) he refuses because he doesn’t want to accidentally steal his siblings’s inheritance (which was what cat was so worried about hahaha) and actively chooses the crappy defending the realm life all over again. also in all this time his being Chosen™ hasn’t manifested or helped him in any way whatsoever - actually all his honor-moral code related baggage is what  moral dilemmas come from that. like, your usual chosen hero™ would always take the right decision and it all turns out good eventually, jon takes the morally right decision and it all turns SOUR eventually

at this point he finally gets elected LC, thanks to his friends also pitching in, which is about the one fantasy hero™ thing that’s happened for now. should be good, yes?

lol no, because he ends up with THAT hellish responsibility at sixteen, since he thinks that he has absolutely to be even better than that now and he has very specific notions about how you should lead and he knows he has to take unpopular decisions/decisions that he doesn’t necessarily like, he ends up either having to send his friends away forreal (sam) or detaching from them (pyp/grenn/the likes) and when as far as he knows he learns that his sister is married to ramsay he can’t do anything about it

never mind that it’s the same situation as when he had to pick the watch or robb in book one - he went there to defend his family and now being there actually prevents him from helping them in person. ops. meanwhile he’s trying to implement a new vision of things which is modern and smart and actually makes sense because why fighting the wildlings when you have ZOMBIES coming. your usual Chosen One™ would get people to approve just because he’s the Chosen One

instead jon gets stabbed to death - okay, that was also because he wanted to go get arya but it was the last straw, people were pissed over the wildlings plan first and foremost

so basically he’s gone through all the Chosen One™ steps but in reverse - he loses his family which did love him instead of finding another one that makes the first pale in comparison, he does find a new one who loves him but has to alienate most of its members for responsibility reasons as a consequence of what should have been the crowning achievement of his life choices (which eventually is NOT one), he falls in love and they don’t drag the UST forever but they never get a chance to be together without small print in between, he chooses the admittedly most masochistic life he could for his family as well and half of them die and he can’t do a thing for the other half, every other mentor-like figure he runs into after ned dies, instead of finding validation he ends up having to isolate himself and on top of everything HE STILL DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE™

so instead of his life going better the more he learns stuff and matures as a person, he gets murdered. by the people he trusts and who were supposed to be his new family. haha?

never mind that when he finds out he’s the Chosen One™ it won’t bring him closure because all he ever wanted was being full stark like his father/siblings and then bam he’s going to find out his father’s actually targaryen and what does that even mean to him?

on top of that being AA will just be a pain because I don’t believe for a second he’s not going to get leftover ptsd and who the hell is gonna help him deal with it? or how is he ever getting over his *brothers* murdering him? and people are going to ask stuff of him all over again and he’s gonna have to go slay a mythical monster and if I know grrm it’s not gonna be fun, pretty or cathartic FOR HIM

on top of that, Chosen Hero™ fulfills the prophecy and gets a realm to rule and everyone lives happily ever after. money is that if jon does get that realm (and I think he is because he has the best claim if he's legitimate and most likely it'll turn out he was on the targ side but ROBB also legitimized him so he has double the legitimization), he’s going to hate every second of it and he’ll take it because a) duty, b) literally no one else is available, and like this guy didn’t want to rule a realm or be a king or anything he just wanted to be a stark, and instead he’s going to have to after all that shit thanks to Magical And Noble Heritage he hadn’t even known he had and probably didn’t even want up to that point because since when jon wanted to be a targ? yeah since never

obviously I hope he manages to be somewhat happy regardless because the alternative is too miserable, but basically being a Chosen Hero™ is what makes jon’s life worse rather than better and the fact that hew went through all the regular self-discovery journey for the fantasy hero list doesn’t mean he’s not flipping that over in his sl. the fact that he stayed a decent person more or less throughout it and that he hasn’t turned into a bitter asshole also doesn’t change the main point XD

tldr: jon snow is not a typical fantasy hero because he deconstructs that trope into tiny little bits same as robb deconstructed the arthurian flawless king hero trope

now ^^^^^ THAT was what I originally wrote for that meta but adding on to what I said in those tags

okay so... there is a certain tendency to also make the chosen one™ special in the sense that he's kind of goals - good looking, rich or set to inherit, gallant, takes the initiative, he's like.. social or anyway immediately makes friends etc and all that jazz which jon... doesn't really fit

like jon is an introvert who immediately makes friends just with outcasts and his siblings also bc he feels like one but he's hardly a social butterfly and charms everyone wherever he walks by

I mean ffs says all that the only person he charmed in that sense is stannis who is the literal only person in charge in the books who is more introvert than him and has worse communication issues and appreciates ppl going straight to the point

on top of that in the book he looks like ned.... and arya looks like ned and ned isn't described as being particularly handsome that was brandon so he's not even like... I mean kit h. is v. pretty and I think he was a good choice for the role and I'll die on the hill that he was born to play that character and he did it well but book!jon doesn't have that kinda pretty face so the concept that he's the HOT alternative to anyone to me is kind of iffy bc he's not

he's shit at social interactions and at PR which is why robb and him would have been a key winning ticket like he has a better idea of the larger picture but robb would have actually made sure ppl didn't turn against them bc he actually was good at that but like he doesn't go around rallying armies in his name does he

the one time he's been with a girl it was ygritte and like he courted her without realizing it and then she had to pursue him and he barely knew wtf to do on top of the fact that they slept with ghost in the middle of them like a sword which..... is.... I mean sleeping with the sword in the middle was a thing to make sure the maiden stayed a maiden and he's the one who is like i CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER EVEN IF I WANT TO BECAUSE I'M TECHNICALLY SPYING ON THEM like... he's not... gallant-knight coded

never mind that the moment they do the do she basically does everything until he decides to try the oral which I mean... isn't exactly alphadominatingmale out of jon which is not a given with the trope he's supposed to represent like he's not smooth he's not suave he's like WHAT THE FUCK when ygritte tells him he has a pretty face bc most likely no one else told him that and he like... doesn't pursue people like that in general which is also not exactly 100% what that trope usually goes for

we can add that he has a lot of passive-aggressive little shit sarcasm in him that they didn't let him go for in the show but like... usually chosen heroes™ don't think what he thinks about selyse in general

we can also add that he's not automatically above being better than his position like... he doesn't take winterfell bc ygritte is dead but he did think he'd have taken the deal sansa or not if stannis had said he could marry her and not val and if she wasn't dead, he basically went off the rails at the dude he was fighting with thinking about robb telling him that he couldn't be lord of wf because he was a bastard and he's absolutely not in the frame of mind of 'well I was born a bastard who cares it doesn't define me'

he's obsessed to the point of unhealthy with actually being defined by it which is why he was better off with the wildlings aka the only idiots in the realm who don't gaf about that

and that's like... I mean usually if chosen ones™ have parental issues it's like 'you were an orphan and raised by asses who weren't your parents but your parents loved you and you'll find out at some point and you'll be happier for it and make your own family', jon is like... he has the mommy freudian issues of the century bc of how cat treated him, on the other side he's obsessed with living up to ned's/his father's name and he hates that it makes him not-belonging or that he feels like he doesn't even if he does with his siblings, and at the same time when the truth about it comes out he's going to get the cold shower of the century bc like - he's spent all that time thinking BUT DID MY MOTHER WANT ME WHO WAS MY MOTHER and he's going to find out of who it was and how he was born and honestly considering that lyanna most likely did regret running with rhaegar the moment he finds that out and that she died birthing him how is he going to feel? - also he spends his life wanting to live up to his 'father's' name aka ned aka someone known to be honorable to a fault and then it turns out his bio father is... the dude who started that entire rebellion not doing a very honorable thing? - also if jon*erys is a thing idt that he'd take 'I fell in love with my aunt' so nonchalantly as he did in the show tldr: he's never gonna get over his parental issues in a short time and when that particular brick hits him in the face it won't be pretty

like the entire point of jon is that he goes through all the chosenone™ cursus honorum as we'd call it in high school when studying latin but each step that means smth good for the usual chosenone™ to him is something bad, being one is not going to make his life better and throughout the entire thing he does not fit that stereotype when it comes to look, personality, basic traits and familial history and like hell he's going to have the happy ending tied up with the bow - like I think he gets a bittersweet one and eventually goes off with the wildlings bc he belongs there after being jon snow first of his name (bc like hell he's not reclaiming his bastard background at the end of this entire mess I'm eating my hat if he doesn't) after splitting the seven realms and fixing things but that's hardly the neat happy ending the chosenone™ usually gets so that's my two cents

... christ this was long *raises hands*