#the way i phrased this makes it seem like josh would be the one creating the head wound

[muxhroom-marx-markiplier]

UNTIL DAWN OC, Taylor Martin!!!

He doesn't have A LOT of story right now, just the idea that he didn't get involved in the prank on hannah (as you can see he's definitely a victim of childhood bullying so,,, yknow,,) and he gets into a NASTY encounter with a wendigo at some point ,,

his highest traits are funny, romantic, and curious, lowest are charitable and honest, with bravery being like right in the middle

[freak-accident419]

“Hachi Machi!”

Josh Futturman x GN!Reader

Summary: After coming back to 2017 from ‘69, Josh realizes that his and Tiger and Wolf’s interference made some ripples in his timeline, such as the gun hanging in his parent’s house, the Blapple, Ray disappearing, and ultimately Dr. Kronish working alongside Stu Camilo. He’s relieved to know that you are still his partner in this timeline, but when one thing leads to another, he discovers one small change about you.

Word Count: 2.2k

Content: 18+ smut, MDNI, more plot than porn (not very descriptive), takes place during S01E04 im pretty sure, gender neutral reader, penetration (no genitals specified), slightly ooc josh, reader has a tramp stamp

(A/n: I know that in this same episode Lyle introduces the phrase ‘hachi machi’ to Josh after these events, but fuck it. The pacing’s a bit bad, I’m tired, but I hope you enjoy regardless :) you can interpret what the tramp stamp is of, personally, i would go with the dragonfly, what about you guys?)

-

Josh was exhausted.

Utterly exhausted.

From going to 1969 and trying to cock block Dr. Kronish, desperately finding ways to spare the man’s life to seeing his colleagues dismember his biotic co-workers and throw them in possum incinerators, it seemed as if he’s never gotten a break. And to top it all off, Tiger kicked him off the team, making him feel useless and loser-like all over again.

There were several ripples that he and his team had caused: Kronish and Stu were now work partners, the Blapple was created because Josh left his phone in the past, Ray no longer worked at Kronish Labs, and his parents now owned a gun that hung on the wall. And so, the first thing he checked ever since he got back was making sure you two were still together—and you were.

You were still on his phone lock screen, except it was with his Blapple (Black Apple) Phone, you still had your sweet back-and-forth texts, and in his gallery, there were several photos—and maybe even new ones—of you together. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he saw this.

Being upset from how the entire day went led to Josh eating cereal alone in the kitchen. With everything going on, he barely had any time to see you, and you were even busy with your own personal stuff as well. However, a knock on his door made him perk his head up, raising a befuddled eyebrow, and walking towards the front door, opening it to see…

You.

“Y/n?”

***

It’s been less than five days since he’s seen you, but this was the first time he’s seen you ever since he fucked up the present by fucking up the past. Thankfully, you remained the same as if nothing happened, and most importantly, Josh was still your boyfriend.

“You look like a sad, wet cat, dude,” you say as you lay with him on his bed, stroking his soft, brown hair. After he finished his cereal downstairs, you two went up to his room and found yourself cuddling with each other on his bed. “What’s up?”

He frowned as he went completely limp in your arms, enjoying the warmth and comfort that your body offered. He really needed this. “As I said before, it’s—it’s really hard to explain, Y/n.”

“Okay, right, but you haven’t answered my texts. I’m worried about you, Josh,” you confess, continuing to caress him gently.

Oh shit, Josh thought. He hadn’t have gotten used to the features of the Black Apple—or, well, Blapple—yet, and forgot that he even had it on him at times. And with everything with trying to ensure that Tiger and Wolf won’t kill his boss, he has been very, unfortunately preoccupied to remember to text you back.

“I’ve been really, really busy, babe, I’m sorry I never got the chance to text you back,” he replied shamefully, though feeling too calm in your arms to feel really anything else.

“Hey, don’t apologize for that, okay? Now, tell me what’s been going on with you. You can be real with me. Work? Your game? Family issues?”

“Sort of, um… It’s—It’s really hard to explain.” There was a look of bemusement and mere stress on his face, making you feel really bad for him. There was so much that he’s seen in the past few days (such as his colleagues killing or hurting nearly anyone in their way) that you didn’t deserve to be dragged into.

“You know, what, just… We don’t have to talk about it right now if you’re not ready. Alright? Just know that I’ll be here the entire time, and I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk about it. Okay, Josh?”

He was so damn lucky to have someone as amazing as you.

“Okay,” he says, his deep brown eyes looking at you, with his sweet, endearing smile that you always loved seeing. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Y/n, you really don’t know how much I appreciate it, I love you.”

You grin, placing your hand gently behind his neck to cup it. “Of course, baby. I love you too, okay? No boyfriend of mine is going to radiate sad, wet cat vibes while I’m here,” you giggle, finally pressing your soft lips to his.

The kiss was warm and affectionate, as always, and to Josh, it felt like home. It felt like he never even left to go to 1969 with the characters in his video game. It felt like he never witnessed them chopping up his biotic coworkers. He was just back at home, with you, when everything made sense.

You sensed that the kiss progressed however, with his tongue shoving past your lips to meet with yours. His hands are placed to cup your jaw and the kiss deepened.

“Okay, why do you keep insisting that I’m a sad, wet cat? Like, what does that even mean?” Josh chuckles in the kiss, his lips, however, not separating from yours.

You laugh softly and look deeply into his eyes. “You look like a cat that’s been left and drenched in the rain, like completely soaked, and your sad eyes are like… big sad brown eyes that those cats have, or something. I don’t know how else to explain it, you looked like a sad, wet cat before!”

Josh smiles. He missed this so much. He missed you so much.

“Do I still look like a sad, wet cat?” He raised an eyebrow.

You scoff playfully and smirk. “No, more like a… a pathetically horny cat.”

“Why am I still a cat in this?”

“I don’t know, you…”

“’Cause I think I resonate more with—“

“Oh my god, wait, that’s it! You’re a cat in heat!” You exclaim in realization.

He opened his mouth to reply, but paused. “Well, male cats don’t—“

“Yeah, technically, male cats don’t… You know what, doesn’t fucking matter,” you grin, pressing your lips to his once more.

Josh giggled in the kiss as he rolled on top of you, moving his lips and tongue roughly with yours. “I missed you,” he says, pulling his shirt off, then helping you with yours.

“I missed you too,” you reply breathlessly. You hoped that this moment would distract Josh from whatever he was going through, and hoped that he would tell you soon enough what it was. But time travel would be very difficult to explain.

By now, you two were completely naked against each other, holding one another, making out lustfully. Josh broke from your lips, just to press soft kisses on your neck, letting his hand move up and down your waist in the process. You let out small pleasured sighs, letting him kiss from your collarbone, throat, jawline, to your lips once more.

With his other hand, he briefly stroked his cock, until he finally began to ease into your entrance, the two of you eliciting a soft, pleasured moan, as you felt him to gradually stretch you.

“O-oh, f-fuck, you’re so tight,” he nearly whimpered, slowly moving his entire length inside you.

“Have you ever considered it was because I haven’t seen you in days?” You raise an innocent eyebrow.

He huffs amusedly, but you did have a point. “Eh, that’s fair,” he says, finally moving his hips back just to slam into you again, letting out a broken moan.

He began to slide his length in and out of you, thrusting his hips against yours as the two of you let out soft sounds of pleasure. He buried his head in your neck, leaving short kisses as his hands held onto the side of your hips in a tight grip, his cock stretching and caressing your walls.

He continued to thrust into you at a steady pace, quite frankly, an intricate rhythm that cleared his mind of The Biotic Wars entirely, the tightness around his cock giving the sensations he loved and needed. He felt so good to move in and out of you, let alone completely inside of you, feeling so close to you ever since he felt so far, from all the time travel nonsense he went through. Your breath quickened and volume increased, letting out desperate whines, repeating his name and praises under your breath.

Josh, not wanting to cum just yet, pulled out of you, giving you a soft kiss on your lips, as he planned to take you from behind. You smiled at him as your felt his grip on your hips help you lay on your stomach, getting on your knees with your head laying on the pillow, and then—

“Hachi machi!”

He exclaimed, his jaw dropped with wide eyes.

You turn your head back to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

There were a few ripples in this timeline that took place due to Josh’s interference with the past, such as the Blapple, the rifle in his kitchen, and Kronish’s partnership with Stu Camilo. He didn’t expect a change from you, as you were still thankfully his partner. Except, there really was a change that occurred from his paradoxical meddling.

You had a tattoo on the small of your back.

You had a tramp stamp.

A genuine, authentic, tramp stamp.

It was in black and blue ink, with exaggerated shading and strokes, littered elegantly on your lower back.

“You have a slutty tramp stamp…” he gasped lightly, his entire focus on your tattoo.

You let out a chuckle. “Josh—“

“Since when did you get a slutty tramp stamp?”

“I told you the story multiple times, Josh, I got it in my sophomore year of college when I wasn’t very right in the head. Josh, seriously, are you okay?” You were confused as much as him now. Why was he making it a big deal, as if it was his first time seeing it? He’s seen it multiple times before, he remembers every detail from your story, so why not now? “Because you’re acting like this is your first time seeing it, ever.”

“I—I just…” Josh was still in mesmerized awe, looking at how the ink was littered across your skin. You had a slutty tramp stamp. You had a slutty tramp stamp. Somehow, when he was messing with the past in 1969, the ripple effect caused Josh’s partner to have a tramp stamp tattoo. “I’ll explain later, just… holy shit, you look so good,” he expressed, running his hands over your tattoo and your ass, until he grabbed your hips, aligned them with him, and shoved his dick back inside of you.

“Holy shit,” he repeated, panting and thrusting deeply as your hands gripped on the bedsheets tightly, softly moaning as you feel immense pleasure, especially from this angle. Josh took off one hand from your hips to hold the back of your hand. He missed you so much. And you definitely missed him.

“God, this is so hot,” he breathed, letting his hand run over your tattoo as he continued to thrust deeply. You would laugh from how weird he was being right now, acting like it was the first time he’s seen it, if you weren’t too distracted by the gratifying feelings of your lover’s penetration.

His fingertips traced the ink on the small of your back, still astonished by this new discovery. His thrusts were sloppy, but well calculated as he focused on not only the pleasure the two of your bodies would experience, but also the sexy tattoo above your ass. Josh began to let out louder, desperate whines, moving both his hands onto your hips tight to gain control, pounding quickly and deeply into you.

“F-fuck, Josh,” you sighed softly, moaning with him as the sounds of his thrusting increased.

“O-oh, god… f-fuck…” Josh whimpers, feeling his hips and thighs weaken.

A few thrusts later, the two of you finally came together, Josh collapsing on your back as he panted, leaving frantic kisses on the back of your neck, still deep inside of you. You felt him hold you from behind, the butterfly kisses you received, and his hand rubbing your hip.

“Why did you act like this was the first time you’ve seen my tramp stamp?” You ask him in a gentle voice, yet still very curious, and maybe even a little concerned.

“I, uh… It’s a lot to explain,” he replied out of guilt; he really didn’t want to drag you into this.

“Josh,” you sigh, “You’ve seen it for years. Your face was completely identical to your face the first time you saw it. Seriously, I could be overthinking this, but you’ve been acting weird recently. What’s going on with you?”

“N-nothing! I just… It’s been days since I’ve seen you, and… I really missed you. You’re, like, the hottest person I know, how could I not be inexplicably aroused by you?” In this moment, Josh decided not to tell you anything about the whole thing with The Biotic Wars. He couldn’t. If you would experience the same things he did, he would ensure that it would never happen.

You chuckle lightly at his compliment. “You being honest, baby?” You ask with a raised eyebrow, turning your head to look at him. “It’s just other personal stuff?”

“Y-yeah. It’s nothing important, I promise,” he pecked your lips in reassurance, attempting to ease your worry for him.

“Okay, good,” you say, feeling him kiss down your back, letting out a soft whine as he slowly pulled out to kiss your further down. He held onto your hip, letting his grip lower to your ass as he kissed along your tramp stamp and looked up at you desperately. He could definitely get used to this.

“Fuck, please tell me you’re up for round two.”

You laugh at him, letting your hand reach his head to tangle his hair in your fingers. “Who would I be if I wasn’t?”

[gretavanlace]

Sugar (Part 5)

Jake Kiszka x reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, unprotected sex, fingering (f/r), language, etc etc

You wake to the morning sun falling warm atop the sheets, creating a snug, golden world for the three of you. Jake and Josh are conversing in hushed tones, being careful not to disturb you. And maybe you shouldn’t, maybe it’s intrusive, but you feign continued sleep. If they are discussing your unique...situation, this will be a clearer window into Josh’s thoughts, and you need to know if he is as okay with this as he claims to be.

“Do you think she’s in love with you?” Josh whispers, ghosting his fingertips across your cheekbone while you fight to keep your eyelids still and your breathing deep and even.

What?!

Jake denies it too quickly. However, where the real problem lies is with yourself, and your inability to answer the question even in your own head with no one to hear you but your own heart.

Are you?

Josh curls around you closer. “I think she is.”

“She’s in love with you, Josh.” Jake insists. His tone is quiet, but insistent. He wants his brother to really hear him, to understand him.

“I know that. Doesn’t mean she isn’t in love with you, too.” he breath sweeps warmth against your shoulder as he speaks.

“She loves you more.” Jake’s statement is firm, leaving no room for Josh to overthink or question. It is a fact, and he has phrased it as such.

“I know that, too.” you can hear Josh’s smug grin.

It’s quiet for a stretch, leaving you to ponder Josh’s words, ‘I think she is’, until he speaks up again.

“Are you in love with her?”

Your heart begins to drum a harsh, uneven beat in your chest. Flashes of moments invade your thoughts. Jake staring into your eyes so deeply it stole the air from your lungs,

‘You’re so fucking pretty.”

The swarm of bees in your stomach when he called you his girl.

“That’s my girl.”

The emptiness you felt last night when you thought he was leaving you for the night. The gentleness in his kiss when he promised he would never leave without saying goodbye.

“No.” Jake’s response would gut you if it didn’t sound so sad, if you didn’t know the reason behind the melancholy tinge. Jake hates lying to his brother, and if you know why Jake sounds saddened, his twin certainly knows too.

“Does it seem like I’m looking for a fight here, Jake?” Josh prods. “Does it sound like you need to bullshit me right now? Just answer the question.”

Now it’s Jake’s body you feel moving closer. “I don’t know. I think, maybe. I didn’t mean for it to be this way.”

“You loved her before.” Josh points out casually, as though it is common knowledge. “Sometimes I think you might have loved her before I did, even.”

Silence anew washes over the room.

“It was always you, for her. So I left it alone.” Jake’s candor sets your head spinning. Did you already know this somewhere deep down? Did you feel it? Was that the pull that always seemed to be tugging you towards him?

“She has trouble sleeping, you know.” Josh’s comment seems strange and out of place. He doesn’t give Jake a chance to ask what the hell he’s talking about. “It takes her forever to fall asleep, and when she finally does, it doesn’t last long. She’s up and down all night, tosses and turns. I’ve never seen her fall asleep as quickly as she did last night, with the both of us here next to her.”

Jake’s lips graze your forehead and you silently pray they won’t notice the blushing heat you feel rising on your cheeks.

“What are you trying to say here, Josh?” There we go, Jake...finally asking the burning question.

“I don’t really know.” he moves against the sheets, you imagine he’s shrugging. “But I don’t see any reason to deny her anything. We make her happy, both of us. Who the fuck am I to take that away? And for what? Jealousy? Why should I be jealous? She loves me...and god knows I love her. None of this changes that. And, not to wax too poetically, Jakey, but we practically love with the same heart, I know how you feel about her, I know you’d never hurt her.”

Jake speaks, barely over a whisper. “I’d rather die.”

“And they say I’m the theatrical one.” Josh’s remark lightens the room palpably. With the shift in mood, you expect to be gently shaken awake soon. Round two perhaps? Instead, you feel the covers being tossed away and then pulled back up around you as Josh climbs out of bed.

“I’ll go make breakfast. You should talk with her. Tell her how you feel, show her. Then we’ll figure the rest out together.”

The shifting sheets and blankets send both of their scents floating into the air around you, surrounding you in them. There is nowhere in the world that you would rather be. “Why don’t we wait until she wakes up?” Jake asks, quiet as a mouse.

“She’s already awake.” Josh sounds smug and extremely pleased with himself.

The door clicks closed and you open one eye, peeking up at Jake, guilt written all over your gaze and pinched pink cheeks.

“Good morning.” he drops a kiss on the tip of your nose. “How much did you hear, you little eavesdropper?”

Nestling into his chest, your lips find his soft skin with a single taste “Enough.”

“You too, right?” he murmurs, rolling until your body is tucked beneath his. He’s asking if you feel the same, though he seems to already know that you do. If he didn’t, he’d want to talk it over more seriously.

“Yeah, Jake.” your hands dive into his locks, nails scraping delicately over his scalp. “Me too.”

He shivers at your touch and drops his mouth to yours. He kisses you slowly, but with a deep, languid urgency.

You feel relief in the acknowledgment of something that has been lingering between the two of you for so long, and you know he feels it too.

“I don’t want to fuck you this time, sugar.” he confesses, quiet as a secret against your ear. “I want to take my time with you. I know that’s not really our thing, but...”

“No,” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck. “That sounds nice.”

He lowers the rest of his body down onto yours, and since neither of you dressed before falling asleep last night, his length –-already half hard and warm– rubs directly over your clit.

You sigh his name, sinking deeper into your pillow.

His mouth finds your forehead, placing a peck of a kiss there, and then another and another, all the way down along your face until his tongue laps lightly over your mouth.

Soft sighs of pleasure and need tumble out of you unendingly, spurring his gentleness on.

“My sugar...” he breathes, sweeping his tongue, light as a breeze, against yours “My sweet little girl.”

He moves down your body and begins showering your breasts with attention. Sucking and lapping at them slowly, and gently. Kissing and nipping with his perfect teeth, nuzzling his nose against your nipples, tugging them lightly with his calloused fingers, making love to them, with his eyes cast up to your face, as though he would be happy to just lie here and spoil them for the rest of his life.

Your hands move continuously through his hair. Stroking and fawning over him carefully, scratching the nape of his neck on every downward draw, wisping your nails along his scalp with each pull forward.

“You make me feel so good, Jakey. Everything you do to me feels so fucking good.”

“Thank you, sugar.” His mouth brushes against yours. How endearing that he should thank you, how sexy.

He reaches down and slips a finger into your warmth, and then another. “So wet already. Who’s this for, baby?”

A louder noise of bliss sounds out of you and it makes him smile. “You, Jake...it’s all for you.”

“That feels good, doesn’t it, pretty girl?”

“Yeah.” you sigh, hands smoothing down his shoulders as you settle into the pleasure.

“Yeah, it does.” he agrees, forehead now pressed down to meet your own. “You feel so nice inside. So warm, so soft.”

“Kiss me.” your eyes are still staring into his, love burning hot there now that neither of you feel any reason to hide it.

Your mouths meet with gentle desperation, and his hand stills between your legs for a moment as the two of you meld together.

When he pulls back, his nose nudges yours as he licks and sucks at your lips lightly. “I shouldn’t say it yet, right?” he whispers against your mouth. “We should wait. We should talk to him, right?”

“Right.” you repeat just as softly, as your palms slip down to his waist, pulling him tighter against your body.

Moving together, you kiss and touch each other, licking at one another’s increasingly salty skin, fingers digging into flesh and skating over the dips and valleys of your bodies. Sighing and moaning into the air, into each other’s mouths. He rocks his hips into yours, now reaching down to hold your chin between his thumb and curled fingers. “I won’t say it yet, but I need to hear you say that you know I do.”

“I know, Jake.” you assure him. A euphoric shiver travels the length of your entire nervous system just hearing him allude to the love that has likely always been there.

He slips his hand back down between the two of you and resumes drawing his fingers in and out of you slowly, curling them upwards just right until you’re writhing and gasping under his body and under his spell.

“Come on then, sugar.” his voice is so soothingly silken and low against your cheek. “I can feel how close you are. You gonna let me watch you cum slow and sweet?” his fingers curl so gently, drawing you closer to the edge like a lazy sunday morning.

A nod is all you offer, enjoying the quiet, rasping words floating straight into your heart too much to interrupt.

“I want it, sugar. Wanna see you cum...” his tone becomes the slightest bit more insistent as his fingers continue to fuck you with more careful reserve than you would have guessed him capable of. “I’m right here, baby...I’ve got you. Let it happen.”

Let it happen.

You’re reminded of that first night, where this all began (or at least where it all began officially, you know now that this has been burning, hot and slow, on the back burner all along) he had said the same thing to you then. I’ve got you, let it happen.

So let it happen is exactly what you do.

Quiet cries of pleasure drift past your parted lips no matter how hard you’re trying to remain subdued to match his actions. Your orgasm ripples through you with a softness that takes your breath away. You feel so warm and safe wrapped up in it, with him hovering above you like an angel sent to love and adore you.

“So good, sugar.” he smiles, as you dreamily come back down. He strokes your hair with his free hand, holding his fingers still deep inside you with the other. “You did so good. So gentle. So different from all the other times, it’s like you’re brand new.”

“You too.” you agree, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him down against you. “Who knew fuck god Jakey could be so sweet?”

“You think I’m a fuck god?” he grins, angling his hips to slide his cock inside you.

A blissful hiss sucks through your teeth. “You know you’re a fucking god. Stop fishing for compliments.” Your eyes drink him in as he laughs, completely addicted to the way he looks at you.

“We’re gonna go slow.” his promise falls quiet into the crook of your neck as he rests a bit more of his weight down on top of you. “Just like I said, sugar, I’m gonna take my time with you.”

It should feel unnerving, knowing that Josh is just downstairs, and that he knows what is likely going on up here. But it strangely feels like...well, maybe not the most normal thing in the world...but close. You decide right here and now that you aren’t going to think too hard. You refuse to look for a problem where there clearly isn’t one to be had.

“You feel so good, pretty girl.” Jake breathes a sharp, shaky gasp and squeezes his eyes closed tight as he slowly pushes his way in and out of you.

His hand travels up and wraps carefully around your throat without pressure. He cradles you in his loose grip as if you are a cherished family heirloom that he has been tasked with caring for. Given your place between brothers, maybe that’s exactly what you are.

“I want to say it.” he whispers, eyes searching yours desperately as he fucks you so sweetly you want to clutch him close and sob for him to never stop. “I’ve wanted to say it for so, so long, but you’re his. You’ve always been his. Right now, though, it’s like I have to say it...the words won’t leave me alone.”

Your hands find his face. “I think I’ve always been yours too– I think maybe this has always been coming...this was always gonna find us.”

You wait a beat and stare up at him, sounding out a tiny whimper when he works his cock into you with a hint more urgency. “Say it, baby.” you breathe. “Please, just say it.”

His eyes are fierce with passion when he fixes them down to stare into yours– halting all movement to focus solely on this moment, and when the words shake out of him your heart suddenly feels whole, like a piece you didn’t even know was missing has been fit into place. “I love you, sugar. I always have.”

Your lips part to reciprocate but he swiftly shakes his head. “Don’t say it back. Not yet. It’s not right. We have to talk to him first.”

“Jakey, it’ll be okay.” you begin, trying to reassure him as he resumes moving, tilting his hips upward to catch the sweet spot deep inside you. “I want to say it.”

“Shh,” he soothes, smoothing his palm over your cheek. “It’s enough that you want to say it.”

“But...”

“Hey,” he pitches his voice with just a touch more authority. “I’m still me, little girl. Behave yourself and hush.”

The quick flash of aggression springs goosebumps to life on your flushed skin. He notices, and acknowledges with a little wink that absolutely melts you.

“Fine.” you pout. “I like you more than most people.”

“You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you, sugar?” he smiles. “Such a brat.”

“Can I have it harder, Jakey? Just a little?” you beg, reaching down to coax his hips closer.

There’s a frantic edge creeping up in your tone and he picks up on it immediately.

“Are you gonna cum for me again, baby?” he bends and licks a droplet of sweat away from your neck. “Be a sweetheart and cum right on my cock. My cock loves you too...love it back.”

“Mmm fuck.” you groan, arching up closer to him. “Tell me your cock loves me again, Jakey. Please.”

His hands fist in your hair, keeping himself propped up with his forearms planted on either side of your head. When he speaks, he is breathless with sex and adoration “My cock is so in love with you, pretty girl. Feels like home when I’m inside you. You love my cock?”

“Oh my god, Jake.” your nails rake across the back of his neck and then bury into his hair. “Yes, I love it...it belongs inside me. I wish it never had to leave. Wish you could just fuck me and fuck me and fuck me forever.”

“Fuck, sugar.” he groans low into your ear, tickling you with the vibration. “You feel so good. So tight.”

You tangle his thick locks in your clutches tighter and guide his head back, closing in on the column of his throat when it’s presented to you.

“You feel good, baby.” your words are slurred through the rush of sucking kisses you’re covering his neck with. “So fucking good inside me. So deep.” Reaching up, you grab his hand and drag it to your belly, pressing his palm flat. “I can feel you all the way up here. You fill me up. You make me whole.”

You both understand that you aren’t just talking about right now, that you don’t just mean sex. That you feel whole when he’s with you...that the world is complete when it’s the three of you.

His eyes burn down into yours as he draws his hips back, only to swiftly push them forward until your bodies connect with a dull smack. “You’re everything. I love you pretty girl, I love you so fucking much.”

You want to return the sentiment, but he has asked you to wait, and you no longer know how to do anything but bend to his will in these delicious moments with him. Instead, you stare up at his pretty face, pupils blown wide with affection and desire.

He nods his understanding of your silence and gives it to you harder. “I want it so bad, sugar. You gonna give it to me? Come on, baby. Let me have it.”

“Talk to me, Jakey.” you beg. “Want to hear your voice when I cum.”

“Shit...” the curse quivers out of him, drenched in need. “Gonna talk sweet to you, baby. Wanna treat my little fuck doll like the princess she is.”

“Oh fuck–” you nails bury themselves in his shoulders. “I’m almost there. Will you touch me? Rub my clit while you fuck me?”

A thunderous growl rumbles from his chest as his hand pushes down between you to circle you. “There you go, princess.” he pants, biting at your throat between words. “That’s a good girl, asking for what you want...I’ll give you anything, baby. How’s that? Feel good?”

“Yes...” the word drags it’s way slowly out of you on a labored breath. “Like that. Just fucking like that. I’m gonna cum...fuck, please.”

“You like that, sugar?” he taunts with a sexy grin. “I know exactly what your pretty cunt needs, don’t I?”

“Yeah...” you whine and writhe beneath him. “Oh my god, I’m so fucking close.” It feels so near, and yet so far away in the most delectable way...chasing it is half the fun.

“Oh, little girl.” he whimpers, his voice pitched soft and needy in a way you’ve never heard before. “Do it. I just wanna make you cum. Come on, baby...please.”

That soft-hearted ‘please’ flips your stomach and makes your cunt clench down around him violently. He feels it, and begins pounding into you exactly right. Fucking you so perfectly you’d sooner set the entire world on fire before you’d ask him to stop.

“Fuck yes...give it to me.” you raise your head and sink your teeth into his chest to keep from screaming.

“Is that what my sweet little sugar needed?” he teases in your ear with the exertion of trying to hold off for you evident by the rasp in his throat. “My cock, hard and deep inside her perfect little cunt?”

“Yeah, hard and deep.” you whine with considerably less composure, reciting his words back to him because you’re too far gone to think straight.

“I love you.” he whispers with a softness completely opposite of the brutal force of his hips driving his relentless cock into you. “I can’t stop saying it.”

“I—”

In the blink of an eye, his hand is stifling your mouth. “I told you not to say it.”

You roll your eyes, but he knows that he’s successfully shut you up and releases his hold over your lips with a devilish smile. “Roll your eyes at me again, little girl. I dare you.”

That gruff challenge is what finally does you in, and you cum hard around him, but quietly. Almost in shock of it all as you watch him work you through it with his tousled hair a veil around you both, swaying softly across your breasts, teasing your nipples as his name sighs into the room over and over.

“There it is...” he sucks in a sharp breath and then releases it with a shudder. “That’s my girl. Fuck you feel good. So warm and soft...tight. Such a good girl, aren’t you sugar? So good for me.”

This is what you’ve already learned about your Jake: When he talks to you this way the closer he gets to his release once you’ve found your own, all the dirty, gentle affirmations of praise, they aren’t just for you, they’re for him as well. It’s his way of staying present with you while he works toward his end, it’s a means to take you with him. He doesn’t want to go off somewhere in his head and leave you behind. Not even for a moment.

Dragging your fingertips over his mouth, you dip them inside when his lips part. “Come on, Jakey. I want it inside. Will you give it to me?”

He nods and sucks feverishly at your fingers...nipping and licking when his mouth drops open with a choked whimper.

“Fuck...” he sounds almost whiny and you cannot even begin to describe how staggeringly intoxicating it is. “I’m there, sugar. Please, baby, please...make me cum...please.”

He’s begging incessantly and it causes your entire body to flame hot with white hot lust.

You squeeze around him as tightly as you can and watch his beautiful face contort with unbridled pleasure. You are a fucking glutton when it comes to the way he sounds and looks when he cums, you could watch him like a movie and never get bored of it. Fucking gorgeous.

He cries out for you, muffling it into the crook of your neck as he slows to deep, shaking thrusts...cumming hard with your name on his lips and in his heart.

You lie there in silence for what seems like a very long time, just breathing in tandem, wrapped up tightly together with his soft cock sleeping inside you.

Finally, he lifts up, breaking the illusion that you two are living in your own little world. One of you had to do it. “Think we should go down and see if Josh has burned the kitchen down yet?”

“He’s a good cook, and you know it.” you curl up in the sheets and watch as he disappears into the bathroom.

When he returns, he’s bearing a warm cloth and your robe.

This is another thing you’ve learned about Jake. He thinks only of you and your comfort after sex just the same as he does during.

“Would you come to my defense that quickly, sugar? Or should my feelings be hurt? It isn’t nice to play favorites.”

“Don’t be a baby, Jakey.” you smile against his mouth, sinking into the kiss he offers as he cleans you up. “Now, come on.” you pull on your robe and push him toward Josh’s dresser. “Put something on and let’s go downstairs. I miss him.”

As you move through the house, following the sound of the blender and Josh humming over the grinding mechanics, with Jake trailing behind you, your world has never felt so complete.

Taglist: @greta-van-chaos @gardenofgreta @moonlightbrekker @theweightofstardust @celestialfauna @kdarling1 @gretasintrees @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @shesalrightshesouttasight @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @alisonwonderland29 @agirlwithmanytastes @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @janegvf @sparrowofthedawn @dakotadovato @xserenax-13 @gretasmokerising @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @trplshotofdopamine @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @kiszkashorizons @pardeeinsaginaw @tripthelightjaketastic @jakeslovehandles @loofypoofy @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 11x02: The Talking Dead

Okay, I DO have a details post, which will go up tomorrow. Because Emily was a guest on TTD this week, I thought it would be more important to post this first this week.

P.S. Apologies for the low quality of the pictures. I wasn’t able to get my usual screenshots this week, so I had to take pics of my TV. ;D

Right off the bat, let me say there weren’t any huge, smoking guns about Beth’s return in the episode. In other words, not much that the general audience (GA) would pick up on.

But we’re not the GA, are we? LOTS of suspicious dialogue and symbolism came out of this. Way more than we usually get from TTD. So, let’s dive right in.

The first thing was in the introduction. When Chris Hardwick was introducing his guests, as he always does, he used the phrase, “Beth is back!” That sort of thing always catches our attention and makes us side-eye.

@wdway​ observed that Emily’s outfit was a mixture of black and white/cream colors, Xs, and diamond patterns. In the past, I might not have been entirely swayed by that. (We’re assuming she chooses her own clothes, right?) But there have been too many times in the past when similar things have happened. Like for the S8 premiere when she wore that bright pink top that looked exactly like the pink bra ashtray in Still? Yeah, I’m no longer convinced Emily ISN’T dropping hints through her clothing.

It was also observed that her hair was very long. Whether extensions or not, it was very long (Beth length) and very blond. Might have been another hint.

One of the first questions Chris asked he was what she thought of Maggie’s SURVIVAL. That’s important both because it’s a question about someone who was left for dead surviving and also because Maggie crawling under the train was a direct parallel to Glenn, who was a direct parallel to Beth. So I was definitely side-eyeing that.

At one point, Chris referenced the Commonwealth interrogating people before letting them in, and he asked if Hershel had done that at the farm, would Rick’s group have made it past the screening process. Emily, overall, said yes. But Josh (McDermott who was on with her) said Shane wouldn’t have. They then started talking and making typical fandom jokes about Shane’s craziness.

The reason this made me smile is because Emily often deflects questions by saying she doesn’t remember, or doesn’t know, or that she no longer keeps up with the show. But here, she talked about specific characters and events in specific parts of a season 9 years ago as though she’s VERY familiar with it. It was like, “oh, but that character didn’t do that until minute 32 of episode 8 of season 2. But I don’t know. I don’t really keep up with things anymore.”

Okay, I’m totally exaggerating there. She wasn’t that specific. But that’s what it felt like. The little fibs she tells to keep people from suspecting Beth’s return are showing.

In talking about the significance of Maggie giving Negan a gun, Lauren said something kind of interesting and Beth-ish. She said, and I paraphrase, that Maggie is struggling to hold onto the person she was, rather than giving into who she might become. Just very reminiscent of Beth’s line to Daryl from still. “You gotta stay who you are, not who you were.”

Chris then asked what Beth would have thought of the current Maggie. And he asked specifically, “Would she even recognize her?” Now, of course he meant that in terms of recognizing who she’s become, because Maggie has changed so much as a person since Beth’s death.

But given the memory loss theories and all the surrounding evidence, we really think there’s a good chance Beth won’t recognize Maggie right away. So that was a huge hint to drop.

See what I mean? It’s not that they talked about Beth’s return in a huge, smoking gun sort of way. Rather, they just dropped a lot of hints through dialogue and the way they phrased questions.

The other thing I noticed is that Emily, in answer to the question, said that without Maggie, everyone seemed adrift and as if they didn’t know what to do because they no longer had a leader (until Maggie showed up again) to tell them what to do. Especially since it didn’t directly answer Chris’s question, I felt like maybe Emily was hinting at Beth’s leadership. New sheriff in town, and such.

Then Josh brought the shiv to everyone’s attention. I don’t think I mentioned this yesterday. If not, it will be in tomorrow’s Details post. But we saw Eugene wheedle a piece of wood into a sharp shive/spike and stick it into his sleeve. It was very reminiscent of Beth hiding the scissors in her cast in Coda. And Josh specifically called attention to that scene. He actually compared it to Terminus, rather than Coda, because we saw them trying to create makeshift weapons in the train car in 5x01. But still, it’s all season 5 and revolves around Beth’s arc.

Actually, as they went along through the episode, they did callbacks to various things in S5 a BUNCH of times. Kind of convenient given that Emily is sitting on the couch next to him, no? Both Lauren and Josh mentioned Terminus multiple times in various ways. Which works because Eugene’s group has been around a lot of train cars these past few episodes. But the thing is, they didn’t really equate Eugene’s storyline directly with Terminus. They were simply finding ways/reasons to randomly mention it.

They also brought up Noah’s death multiple times, comparing Gauge’s death to it, since in both cases, people watched them die horribly from behind a glass partition. Totally makes sense, but yet another tie to Beth by really talking about Noah a lot.

Lauren, talking about good vs evil and what people are capable of, a la Maggie’s disturbing cannibal story, said it wasn’t just about what outward choices people make. She pointed to her chest and said, “it’s what’s in here.” That just gave me huge Beth feels from Still, when she said, “…or it kills you. Here.” And pointed to her chest in the same way.

It just felt like they were invoking Beth a lot during this episode.

This next one was kind of the big kahuna. Chris, just out of left field, looked at Emily and asked, “Will Daryl prove Beth right? Will he be the last man standing?”

And that’s important because it has nothing to do with this discussion or this specific episode. Daryl wasn’t even in this episode.

And I have to acknowledge that there’s a good chance Emily was supposed to be on last week, and her appearance was pushed. We just don’t entirely know what happened there. So possibly, they would have asked this last week during a more Daryl-centric discussion. But still, Chris didn’t say that. It wasn’t like, “Oh you were supposed to be on last week and we wanted to ask this…” No. He just launched into it.

Furthermore, Emily knew exactly what he was talking about. Yes, it’s a well-known line of Beth dialogue from Still that she probably would have been familiar with either way, but even so. The “will Daryl prove her right” came directly from Daryl’s origins episode. So again, despite “not keeping up with the show,” she clearly watched the Origins episode and knew what Chris was talking about.

A couple of suspicious things in her answer:

She essential said yes, that she believes Daryl will be the last man standing. But she also said she didn’t think he would be the ONLY last man standing. Then Chris made a joke saying (and I paraphrase), “Yeah, it’s not like Beth could have said, ‘Daryl, you’re going to get a spinoff.’” And they all laughed and joked about it.

Let’s consider her statement first. She said he wouldn’t be the only one who was standing last, but how would she know that? If she doesn’t follow it anymore and is only associated with it as a previous, deceased character, how would she know that.

And yes, you could argue that this was conjecture on her part, but she said with such…I don’t know, authority? As though she knows something we don’t.

I think you can interpret this one of two ways. The first is what I’ve hinted at above: that she knows others besides Daryl will survive to the end of the show. And I totally agree with her on that. While most of us believe, I think, that Daryl will live until the end, I think plenty of others will, too. Rick and Michonne. Probably Carol and Zeke. Hopefully Maggie, though I’m a little more worried about her. You get the idea. But once again, why would Emily know anything about that?

The other way you could interpret it is that this is a statement about Daryl not being alone. He’ll be the last man standing, but he won’t be the ONLY one. He won’t be alone in that, because Beth will be by his side.

And here’s your friendly neighborhood reminder that in an interview with Larry King prior to S5 airing, Gimple confirmed that Daryl will find love in the apocalypse at some point.

Then there’s Chris’s statement about the spinoff. Now, that came from Chris rather than her, but it was still a really random reference. For me, what Chris does or doesn’t know is kind of irrelevant at this point. I personally believe he knows everything and is fully in on Beth’s storyline. But even if I’m wrong about that, these questions come from tptb. If Chris recognizes their significance, he’s being instructed to ask them and direct the conversation in a particular way.

And they way he threw in this mention made it seem like he was equating Beth with the spinoff in some way. Even the way he said, “there’s no way Beth could have known to say…” the thing about the spinoff struck me as interesting. Because back then, I truly don’t believe the writers knew anything about the spinoff. As I like to say, everything changed when Kirkman abruptly ended the comics and the writers decided to pick up all the characters and story lines and move them to a different vehicle: the spinoff. Probably for legal reasons. But they couldn’t have know that would happen back in S4.

There’s also the unspoken implication that, while Beth couldn’t have “known” about the spinoff, she didn’t know about other things. Like her return and Daryl’s fate.

Emily even told a story about how when they were getting ready to film the porch scene for Still, both she and Norman were hounding Angela Kang (not the show runner back then, but the writer of that episode) about the last man standing line. They both wondered if it was some kind of foreshadow. She implied they were both worried that Daryl would die soon because of it.

A few things about that. 1) I don’t think either of them actually believed Daryl was soon to die. I seriously doubt that. This is just one of those stories they tell to illustrate a point. Which leads me to my next point. 2) Clearly they are implying that this IS some sort of foreshadowing. They’re just not being specific about what it foreshadows. 3) Keep this in mind--that they were both asking about what a certain line of dialogue might foreshadow--the next the time actors try to claim they have no idea what anything means or what’s going to happen next. They’re VERY aware of how the writers put these symbols in and are constantly wanting to know where the show is going, just like we are. 

So yeah. I was definitely a fan of that whole discussion.

The Inside the Dead portion referenced some interesting Easter eggs, including Gorbelli foods (seen in Tara’s backstory in S4, which had lots of Beth parallels) and Duane Jones Whiskey (alcohol, Morgan, etc; we’ve compared that with Beth before). Kinda small potatoes, but still important.

I missed part of this next question, but they asked Emily something about whether she thought the Commonwealth is going to turn out to be a good thing and helpful to Alexandria. She said no. Again, maybe not a smoking gun but given that we think she’s most likely coming through Eugene’s story line, it might have been a hint.

They asked her about the Eugene/Stephanie story line, and she said she was excited for any love story in this world. *coughs Bethyl hint*. She also said she’s suspicious of ‘Stephanie’ (emphasis mine) *coughs plot hint*.

For the quiz, they talked about how many walkers Dog killed in the episode (1). Where Mercer said he went to school (Westpoint). What was interesting, is that they kinda gave something away there. After giving the answer, it said, “Mercer didn’t go to school there, but the actor that played him did.” So, they kind of hinted that Mercer SAID he went to Westpoint, but was lying. Just more evidence that Eugene’s group is being lied to and manipulated. Finally, they had a fill-in-the-blank of Eugene’s dialogue. It was when he asked how he was being processed. And one of the options was “as in bologna and other meant stuffs…” (again, I’m paraphrasing; forgive me if my wording is a little off). Anyway, it said at that moment, Eugene was thinking about Terminus. So, just another callback to that story line in S5.

Near the end, Chris asked Lauren and Emily what they miss most about working together. Lauren’s replay was, again, suspicious. She said Emily was “such a bright light,” which we equated to Norman’s famous description of Beth as Daryl’s light that “went out.” She also talked about how it was a testament to Emily’s goodness that she’s “being so missed.” Which made me think of, “you’re gonna miss me so bad when I’m gone, Daryl Dixon.”

Finally, even before the episode aired, @wdway had a theory about Emily being in the studio for the episode, rather than via satellite. Well, I guess it was more of a hope than an actual theory. Now that the episode has aired, it’s an actual theory. 

See, she had a hunch that maybe the Commonwealth story lines (what Josh should be filming right now) might be filmed in studio, rather than on location in Georgia. And there IS an AMC studio in L.A. What we saw--Josh in person on the show while Lauren was there via satellite because she’s in Georgia--does seem to back up this idea. Or at least the possibility. 

The fact that Emily was also there in person could be a coincidence. But it could also possibly mean that she’s filming in studio for the Commonwealth story line as well. @wdway​ thought of this because we think she’ll first come through Eugene’s arc, and none of the Commonwealth stuff is being filmed on the main Alexandria lots where people generally look for spoilers.

Not something that can be proven either way, of course. But a great theory that I’m 100% behind! 

Okay, that’s it for TTD (but that was a LOT) and it makes me super happy. Together with the screeners not being able to talk about episodes moving forward, I think we’ll see Beth very soon. Any references in TTD that I missed?

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

When It Started: Julian Casablancas

The Strokes lead singer was born on August 23, 1978 in New York City. His father John was the founder and owner of Elite Model Management, while his mother Jeanette worked as a Danish model and former Miss Denmark. At the age of eight, his parents would divorce. His mother would later marry painter Sam Adoquei, who heavily influenced the young Casablancas by introducing him to classic rock artists such as the Doors. Julian has several half brothers and half sisters through his father’s multiple marriages. The future frontman of the Strokes would attend a variety of schools throughout his early life, which led him to meet many of the future members of the band through schools such as Lycée Français de New York, the Institut Le Rosey boarding school in Switzerland, and the Dwight School in New York. At the latter, Julian would start to informally play music with Nick Valensi and Fab Moretti, which ultimately was the beginning of the Strokes. The singer would never finish high school, but did receive his GED in place of it. He would later attend music classes at Five Towns College, which became the very first time that Casablancas actually enjoyed going to school.

Throughout the history of the Strokes, Julian has served as the principal songwriter for the group. Some have said that he would insert a large measure of control over the music, but he and other members have said that does not seem to be the case anymore. Each member of the group brings their own ideas about future songs, then the band decides what to use and what to discard. Nick Valensi would say this about the singer. “His ear is so sharp. He's the one with the ear for detail in this band. Creatively, he is a force to be reckoned with." In 2009, Casablancas released his first solo album entitled Phrazes for the Young through RCA. He would talk about releasing music as a solo artist versus material from the Strokes. “It’s like touring with me or with five of me." The singer would also go on to say that as a solo artist he is able to experiment with his music and lyrics in ways that he would probably avoid in the Strokes. He has always been quite adamant the brand name that is the band should be protected. The title of the album had been inspired by the Oscar Wilde book, Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young, while the album itself embraced a very 1980’s new wave sound that had a heavy emphasis on the use of synthesizers. He talked about this new direction in his music. “I would've gone weirder with the music, but I wanted to be smart. I didn't want people to say, 'Okay, this is his weird abstract thing,' and dismiss the album. I worked too hard on it for that to happen... I wanted to be crazy original and bridge the gap between traditional music and modern music." The LP would be recorded in New York and Omaha, Nebraska with producer Jason Lader and some additional assistance from Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes. A tour would follow the release with a backing band called the Sick Six including Jeff Kite (keyboard), Nelson London (synthesizer), JP Bowersock (guitar), Danielle Haim (percussion) and Alex Carapetis (drums). The first major shows in North America took place over the course of a month at the Downtown Palace Theater in Los Angeles. This venue had been previously used in the Michael Jackson “Thriller” music video.

In 2013, Julian began another side project called Julian Casablancas + the Voidz. Other members of this new band included Jeramy "Beardo" Gritter and Amir Yaghmai on guitar, Jacob "Jake" Bercovici on bass (as well as synthesizer), Alex Carapetis on drums and percussion, and Jeff Kite on keyboard. In 2017, the group wanting more recognition as a band rather than a side project changed its name to simply the Voidz. The goal of the group was to create music that represented a quality of being both very aggressive and quite complex. As lead vocalist and songwriter, Casablancas began to explore musical scales within Middle Eastern music, not any traditional Western scales. Jake Bercovici has said, they are interested in “exploring [music] from the margins.” The singer looked upon the group as a vehicle in which he could create music that embodied characteristics much more experimental than anything that the Strokes ever offered. Their debut album Tyranny was released in September 2014 through Casablancas’s own record label, Cult Records. The album would also feature an 11 minute single entitled “Human Sadness,” which Julian actually wrote originally for a short documentary film about his stepfather, painter Sam Adoquei. Their second album would be released in March 2018 entitled Virtue, which took on a much stronger political point of view emphasizing the paradox between truth and lies.

Over the years, Julian has collaborated on a number of tracks with other artists. In 2006, the Strokes teamed up with Eddie Vedder and Josh Homme for a cover of “Mercy Mercy (The Ecology)” by Marvin Gaye. On the track, Vedder sang backup vocals, while Homme would play drums. In 2008, he recorded a collaboration with Pharrell and Santigold for Converse on a track called “My Drive-thru.” In 2009, the singer lent his vocals to the comedy trio the Lonely Island for a parody song on their debut album Incredibad called “Boom Box.” The Strokes frontman would later record a cover of another Saturday Night Live parody, “I Wish It Was Christmas Today.” He would eventually perform the song live with Jimmy Fallon, Horacio Sanz, and the Roots on Fallon’s talk show. In 2010, Casablancas sang vocals for the track “Little Girl” on the 2010 Sparklehorse and Danger Mouse album Dark Night of the Soul. In 2011, Julian performed the song “Rave On” for the release of a Buddy Holly tribute record. In 2013, he would also provide vocals, lyrics, and guitar to the Daft Punk song instant crush on their 2013 record Random Access Memories. The album would go on the win the Grammy for Album of the Year, which he would receive recognition for his work on it. In 2015, Julian created a cover with Jehnny Beth of the 1983 song Boy/Girl, which would be released through Cult Records. In 2016, he would also provide covers for the soundtrack to the HBO series Vinyl performing three tracks by the Velvet Underground, “Venus in Furs,” “Run Run Run,” and “White Light/White Heat.” That same year, the singer would pen a song for Har Mar Superstar on his album Best Summer Ever entitled “Youth Without Love.”

In 2009, Casablancas started his own music label, Cult Records. The company currently includes a roster of The Growlers, Har Mar Superstar, Songhoy Blues, Rey Pila, Karen O, Promiseland, The Strokes, The Voidz, Exhibition and Cerebral Ballzy. Past artists were Albert Hammond Jr., The Virgins, Reputante, INHEAVEN, Exclamation Pony and Nelson London (C O L O R). The company first began as an imprint in order to release his first solo album Phrazes for the Young. As for his influences, the earliest ones were the Doors and Velvet Underground. He would say this about the latter group. “The way Lou Reed wrote and sang about drugs and sex, about the people around him — it was so matter-of-fact. He could be romantic in the way he portrayed these crazy situations, but he was also intensely real. It was poetry and journalism." Other influences include Bob Marley, Nirvana, and Pearl Jam. He would later say that the song “Yellow Ledbetter” inspired him to start making music. In his personal life, the singer would marry the Strokes assistant manager, Juliet Joslin in 2005. They have two sons together, but divorced in 2019. In the early days of the Strokes, Casablancas struggled with drinking, but he has been completely sober since 2009. Julian would say in an interview about trying to quit drinking, he was “hungover for five years.”

[thetaylorfiles]

To your anon asking about TTB promises. She promised no second wedding, no male pronouns or male love interests on Lover, a coming out, Karlie leaving in August, no Josh at holidays, no way they go to awards, absolutely would she not include him in her documentary because it woul be about coming out. The list is rather long. The truth is people left over stopped calling her out on always being wrong. And every month for the last 2 years dont worry, its almost over the girls are fine.

Wow. Great memory.

Let’s list all of TTBs lies, promises and predictions that never came true. For posterity.

TTB promised there would be:

[[MORE]]

1. No Joshlie wedding. At all. And no second Joshlie wedding. (Both happened!)

- in fact the plan, according to TTB was: to gently introduce Kaylor to the public.

- announce engagement > call off engagement > have Taylor be seen providing emotional support to a heartbroken Karlie > after a while, explain that spending time together amid this upset made them realize they were more than just friends!

Oops. Never happened.

2. No male pronouns on Lover (several songs with male pronouns!)

3. No male love interests on Lover (clearly a male interest in Lover. And no, London Boy isn’t satire. It’s tongue in cheek)

4. Karlie being “free” in August each and every year. (and many, many more times)

5. No Josh at holidays.

(Yet somehow they seem to be together for thanksgiving and NYE and several Jewish holidays every single year.)

6. Joe and Taylor not attending awards shows together (so far they’ve attended: Golden Globes, Cats premiere, and NME awards)

7. Joe not being included in the documentary (Taylor literally runs into his arms backstage)

8. The documentary would be about Taylor coming out

I remember (and edited to add other peoples recollections)

9. Taylor was supposed to come out after Rep tour was over.

10. Taylor was supposed to come out the day she announced her new single “ME!” In fact, the announcement was meant to be her coming out, but instead was her new single.

11. Joe would be gone before Rep Tour

12. Joe would be gone after Rep Tour.

13. Joe would be gone before Lover Promo

14. Joe would be gone after Lover release.

15. Karlie would be free from Josh literally too many times to count. She always says that the contract is up in August. Then she says Karlie re-ups.

16. Taylor was going to come out on the last day of Pride month but scrapped those plans and instead released her statement about Scooter and Scott. That the masters changed everything so she couldn’t come out.

Now, had she intended to come out, and changed her mind that very last day upon learning of the master sales, she would’ve had to:

- add 4 new songs about a male

- chang all pronouns on lover from “her” to “him”

- remanufacturing every copy (how many DNAs did that need)

- create and chang diary entries

- all this would’ve had to be done whiles Taylor spent the first week of July with her friends on vacation. And while Karlie was on a yacht with Scooter, posting several instagrams documenting it.

- Then she went straight into filming ‘Lover’ video with a man. All this in a matter of a week or two, while on vacation, right before Lover came out. (Thanks to the anon for help!)

17. She claimed Karlie never followed Joe, when in fact, she did after K’s Rep concert. A week later, she unfollowed him. Also her sisters and Josh unfollowed Taylor in that same time frame.

18. She claims that when a beard wears blue, a breakup will occur and Taylor will be free of her contract. That Taylor plans it this way. TTB has said the inevitable breakup is going to happen when Joe wears blue numerous times yet this has never come to fruition.

19. Any time there is an article about Joshlie or Joe and Taylor, ttb claims its ALWAYS “seeding” a breakup. Yet, the breakup never, ever comes. (And no one in entertainment uses the phrase “seeding”. That’s a pure conspiracy theorist term. Like “crisis actor”).

20. She once promised a nervous anon that Josh and Karlie would never actually marry. They’d only be faux engaged to make it all seem real.

21. Claimed that Karlie and Josh didn’t go to New Zealand together over the New Year. Said Josh went alone and Karlie only flew in one day to take all the pics with him- in multiple clothing changes- to get all the pics necessary for the “stunt”. Even though everyone outside of Kaylorland already believes they’re a married couple and the “stunt” got zero publicity.

22. TTB claimed many times no beard would ever attend an important event or red carpet with Taylor. Then Joe went to the Golden Globes with her, then the Cats premiere, and then the NME awards. Oops! Wrong each and every time.

23. When Joe and Taylor vacationed in the Turks and Caicos TTB claimed Joe was flown in for a quick photoshoot and flown right back out. Except the next day, he was still there and there were new pictures.

24. Claimed for MONTHS after the Joshlie wedding that it was a “photoshoot”, not a wedding. That it would soon show up in Vogue. Then it was Vogue Brazil. (The wedding was never in a magazine)

25. She also claimed it was all a giant ad for Dior. The photoshoot would be one big advertisement for Dior. (The wedding was never an ad anywhere for Dior)

26. After several Vogue magazines came and went after, TTB claimed that Josh was having the article and photoshoot put on hold so that they could release it at a time that Trump made a big gaffe and Josh would need good press. The idea being that if Trump messes up, this somehow reflects badly on Josh, though it never has.

27. TTB and Kaylors claim that the reason why Karlie and Taylor stopped hanging out in public was so as not to tarnish Taylor’s reputation by being associated with Trump. Yet, Kelle went backstage at Rep after Trump was elected.

Anyone who knows about magazines or has seen the documentary The September Issue knows that the magazine layout is planned months in advance and articles and photo shoots are put in in a timely manner. Someone like Josh would have no bearing on getting to hold it back. (The wedding never showed up in any magazine and Trump made gaffes constantly).

28. TTB also claimed that they were no longer being seen in public anymore so that the public would start to ask and wonder why they weren’t “friends” anymore. Which would “seed” a coming out story.

29. Ttb claims she’ll have definitive proof this Monday, 9/7/20/, in the form of “tea” she’s been dangling in front of her followers for months now, that will prove the existence of Kaylor.

And she posted a submission that proved absolutely nothing! Just a screenshot of Karlies insta story from May that shows the reflection of one open white umbrella and one closed white umbrella. Apparently Taylor has two white umbrella near her pool in Beverly Hills. Ttb believes this is definitive proof that Karlie and Taykor have been together in LA for months.

This was wholly underwhelming and easily disputable. Taylor’s jet has been in Utah, with Joe posting a few pics of him hiking there. Her jet has also been in RI. Then the jet went to England. While the jet doesn’t prove Taylor wasn’t in BH the whole time, it sure does make it much more likely than a reflection in glass of an umbrella.

30 TTB claims that josh posted an Instagram on 9/3 of a sunset to indicate the sun setting on his relationship with Karlie. A message sent to Kaylors. No divorce as of yet!

31. Going along with the above, TTB also claimed that she expects Joshlie to announce their divorce on 9/4/20 because it’s the slowest in the news cycle. A Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend. Yet, no divorce news and Trump calling fallen soldiers “lovers and suckers” is dominating the headlines.

32. Prior to the Kushner biography being released TTB predicted/promised that it would mention Josh’s homosexual proclivities in some way: the bearding or Mikey. And at the very least, it would paint him to be the giant criminal that she claims he is.

Instead it did nothing of the sort. It only talked about how strong his love for Karlie was. That despite his parents being unkind and unaccepting to her for several years, he stuck it out with her. It also addressed her conversion to Judaism.

33. Ttb likes to claim that Karlie never converted to Judaism. She says that because Karlie has never spoken the exact words “I converted” that it means she hasn’t. Despite the fact that many Jewish people have told her that when Karlie told Andy Cohen that she “joined the tribe” that, was, in fact, how Jewish people say they converted.

Karlie has also spoken at length in interviews and her own musings about her conversion. Ttb still refutes this and sometimes will post anons who write in questionable and anti Semitic references.

34. There was a period of time where TTB claimed that Josh needed Karlie as a beard in order to get an inheritance from an old aunt of his. This aunt stipulated in their will that he MUST be married to a woman in order to collect the money. Shockingly (to no one) TTB started claiming this right after josh and Karlie got married.

A few months later, the aunt and the inheritance disappeared never to be spoken of again. Which was absurd to begin with considering Josh is reportedly worth $800 million. Which could be off considerably, but even if it is? Even if he’s only worth $100 million? Yeah, he’s good. He doesn’t need an aunts inheritance.

35. These days (September of 2020) TTB is claiming that Karlie is staying with Josh in the contact for bearding willingly. This is a drastic change of narrative from years past when she claimed he was essentially blackmailing her to stay. For the Aunt inheritance, for not telling the world her and Taylor’s secrets, etc.

**** this hasn’t been updated in a few months. It’s now Dec. 1st. I’ll do my best to fill in a couple more below soon. There’s been a handful or two of lies that need to be recorded.****

36. People Mag announces that sources close to Karlie say she’s pregnant with Josh’s kid. Ttb refuses to believe it until Karlie herself confirms it, though in the past she has specifically stated that People is the one mag you can trust as publicists use it as a vehicle to get the truth out about their client.

36. Ttb stated emphatically and multiple times that IF Karlie is pregnant it CANNOT be a Kaylor baby because it would not tarnished by having a Kushner last name and being tied to that “organized crime” family. Nope. Taylor is in no way involved.

And now that Karlie has confirmed the pregnancy, what do uou know? Ttb conveniently changes her time, forgets all she’s said in the past and seems to be firmly on the “oh, it’s totally a Karlie/Tayklor baby. I thought so all along”.

Now, Karlie is there willingly. And when an anon asked whyC her answer was “it’s all part of the narrative.” As if that’s a sufficient answer.

37. TTB said Joe and Taylor’s career paths would never intertwine.

And now they’ve written 5 songs together. One on which he played the piano too.

There’s a lot more especially about Karlies pregnancy but I don’t have the time or energy to fill it in right now. Back soon to do it.

Anyone else remember anything specific? Let’s come up with a comprehensive list.

[doomedandstoned]

Clyde Von Klaus Wins New Fans Over To Cool Desert Vibe on ‘Evil Notions’

~Review by Tom Hanno~

I was turned onto the music of the multi-instrumentalist CLYDE VON KLAUS back when he released his 2020 album Klaustrophobic and was instantly a fan of what he does. Now, just over a year later, Clyde has gifted us with a new album, 'Evil Notions' (2021), which in my humble opinion is just as great, if not greater, than last year's release.

I enjoy having the opportunity of adding words from the artists into my reviews, and Clyde was more than happy to share a bit about his writing process:

I have an unusual writing and recording process, one that I’m pretty confident is not done by most, if any, one-man bands. It’s really rejuvenated my love of creating music spontaneously, and it keeps the results unexpected.

It’s also the closest way that I can find that resembles being in a band, while keeping the rawness and energy as close to that as possible -- mistakes, stick clicks, and all. Completely and totally unplanned and unwritten, yet it comes to be somehow. It’s truly artistically exhilarating to listen to the final version, and hear my songs come to life out of nothing -- but it all starts with drum beats. I get something I’m happy with, then use those to direct and birth the songs. No click tracks. No plan.

Despite his unorthodox way of crafting music, the final result is excellent. That Black Sabbath influence is proudly displayed for all to hear, but Clyde doesn't just rely on Black Sabbath either -- there are numerous influences, which keeps the music from being just another Sabbath clone.

Evil Notions by Clyde Von Klaus

The album opener, "At the Crest of Eminence," is what I have been referring to as psychedelic Black Sabbath. The riffs are full of that Tony Iommi power, chugging along perfectly, yet the vocals give me a sense of the psychedelic. I think this is due to how Clyde performs them, his tone, and his way of enunciating certain words. However, it's track number two that made me coin the phrase, psychedelic Sabbath.

"Unravel" doesn't just show the Sabbath vibe, it also has a very strong doom metal feel; particularly in the verse sections. I'm also detecting a Josh Homme sound in the vocal department, which I think is really cool.

I also dig that the riffs seem to sound like they're single-string notes, instead of opting for the whole power chord approach. This gives the track an almost desert rock sound, which the vocals add to. This one is right up there for my favorite songs on Evil Notions.

"Latchkey" is another track that I feel is strong, and that's because it's very similar to the format used in "Unravel."

The desert rock vibe is probably the strongest it gets on the record, and it sticks out amongst the others because of it. I really, really love the subtle keyboards that Clyde uses. They don't stick out too far, but they're upfront enough to add a cool sound to this killer tune. As always, Clyde laid down a great vocal for this tune.

We're up to what I would say is my favorite song, which goes by the name of "Jigsaw Jawbone."

The Queens of the Stone Age fans will really grab onto this one, because it has that Songs for the Deaf-style of songwriting, and the riffs really lend themselves to that comparison, while sharing a similar guitar tone as well. As does the next track, "Fatalistic," which is my second-favorite track.

Both songs show a great sense of melody, songwriting, and are performed expertly. And knowing how uniquely they're written makes them seem all the more special.

"Crystal Palace" closes the album in grand style, leaving the listener wanting more.

This track has a Beatles-esque melody to some of the vocals, Black Sabbath-infused guitar riffs, a Middle Eastern-sounding piece, and reminds me of Conan the Barbarian in certain sections. In other words, this has a little bit of everything that I love, and shows that Clyde is able to reach into a listener's mind, making them hear things they'd never expect to hear on an album in this genre. That Conan thing is still throwing me for a loop.

Clyde Von Klaus' Evil Notions is a really fantastic album, with a lot of desert vibes and influences that are among the most revered of their genres. I honestly enjoyed the second-half of the album over the first, as it seems as if that is where the desert vibe truly exposes itself, but the whole album is worth any listener's time.

The album is available now, so head over to Bandcamp to check it out in full. As a gift for the fans, Clyde has sent over some Bandcamp codes, and I'll include those below. Also, be on the lookout for a big announcement from Clyde in the coming weeks. Enjoy!

Download 'Evil Notions' by grabbing a code below and redeeming here.

cuut-3388 88c6-km5a z9ff-jqsm s23z-br88 g7fg-jwm6 vqxa-khxf 8rr9-vsm6 5jw5-kxxf rg9s-j6qp d22s-yg62 vype-uuh3 lazj-xnnh c6y8-eavv c3ut-3bg8 ed5y-heft

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[brokenjardaantech]

absorbance of the deep (chapter 2: an actual meeting)

written for a mermay prompts challenge. my prompt is ‘monochromatic.’

previous chapter can be found here. 

also on ao3

---

Despite having run away from Simon in the face of danger, Josh somehow became his friend. It wasn’t that Daniel trusted him - Simon is quite certain that he trusts no one with his twin brother to this day - but given the school’s tendency to separate twins, it was impossible for Daniel to keep an eye on his twin brother who had a tendency to disappear for the whole night and then reappearing at weird places such as the pier behind the lighthouse which couldn’t be accessed without passing through the house itself and therefore should’ve been sighted by their mother, or the park which was located at the other side of the village and was impossible for a child to walk alone to without being spotted by one of the many nosy and concerned residents. That was where Josh came in: someone to look after a child who had less awareness of his surroundings than the chemical soup powered by underwater volcanoes. The ethics of handing a child whose brain wasn’t quite normal to another child instead of having an actual adult to take care of him was debatable, but at that time Simon only cared about two things: being in the ocean and learning about the ocean, and since Josh was a convenient source for the latter both due to his abundance of ocean-related books and the fact that he could explain things Simon hadn’t understand initially until he did, that meant Josh was Simon’s best friend and anyone who dared to question it would be subjected to a light hand smack. ‘Because sometimes people just need a bit of a physical reminder,’ Daniel explained as he taught where Simon should hit. ‘Don’t be afraid to use it. They probably can’t distinguish between the two of us anyway.’

But Simon knew that adults were both smarter and more stupid than they thought and he wasn’t going to test which one applied to the category of ‘distinguishing between the Phillips twins,’ so he never did much apart from the abovementioned light smack: just enough to warn others to stop questioning him and his best friend, and not heavy enough that it would be mistaken as aggression. Besides, he was supposed to be the quiet and docile among his classmates, and small, silent Simon who read as much as Josh the resident genius, slapping people? Impossible.

He couldn’t help but felt that the sea approved of him defending himself and Josh, so that was a bonus. And yes, ever since his offering was accepted and he was swept away by the waves for the first time and visited the cave and had his brains burnt up, there had been a bond between his mind and the very waters that surrounded their village, nurtured generations of villagers, took care of Simon so much better than his parents ever did; by the time he was in secondary school, most of his parents' energy were devoted to making sure that Daniel didn’t get into trouble for Simon’s behalf or pretending that Simon’s differences with normal people didn’t exist, and truth to be told he preferred the solitude it offered over anything else. Him doing his homework sitting on the beach with a thick sketchbook some students from the previous grade left in the classroom bookshelf as his table was a common sight.

It didn’t last long, however, because the arrival of a certain girl with hair matching her fiery personality in their village. 

North came from ‘outside,’ which to Simon’s village could mean anything from the neighbouring town to the other side of the world of all he knew, and he was certain that he would’ve known where she came from if he had paid attention to the gossip, but once more he was too busy letting Josh do his homework and flipping over rocks for that one crab that the ocean told him to find for it and then promptly being distracted by the way the sand collapse under its own weight. He couldn’t resist touching it and it crumbled, and he now felt bad because he buried a crab alive. He turned towards the first person he saw and let out a distressed whimper.

‘It’ll dig itself out,’ the voice surprised him because it wasn’t Josh’s, and when he looked up, he saw North standing close to him directly on top of another tunnel entrance. His first instinct was, of course, to scream and flail his arms because that seemed to be the only thing he did people understood, but then again it was North. North, who kicked his bully in his balls when they ganged up on him and tried to snatch his newest book away; North, who together with Josh were the only ones patient enough to explain things to him outside school hour; North, who actually listened to Josh when he told her that Simon didn’t like loud sounds and would like her to speak quieter, unlike the others who almost always got louder because apparently Simon losing control and hurting himself was something funny. Sometimes North would drag him out of it and shove him into a locker so that he could cool down, but sometimes, with her blood boiling almost as hot as her hair, she would become one of them except on Simon’s side, grabbing whatever object she could put her hands on and wreaking havoc in her immediate vicinity, and Simon felt lucky that he had Josh to pull him out of those episodes; he probably wouldn’t be alive if his friend hadn’t dragged him away from the fight because his body’s response to danger was to freeze instead of running away like normal people do. He was afraid of North in a way, he thought as he eyed the bar stock poking out from her backpack, but at the same time he knew that Josh’s pacifism and the ‘abandon everything and run’ plan couldn’t save them from every single situation they would encounter, so they had to rely on North as long as she was willing to be on their side as one of the odd ones out.

That was, of course, only applicable to when the entire world seemed to be against them. Those were the moments Simon hated. There were also moments Simon cherished, moments of tranquillity, of acceptance, of just the three of them hanging out like there were no one else in the world apart from themselves and the sea which Simon felt too connected to to exclude from anything.

As the ‘new one,’ North was the one the teachers didn’t know very well and therefore was easily ignored just like Simon whom they had learnt not to force to speak, and if she were to disappear for a day or two every now and then… virtually no one apart from Simon and Josh noticed. The first time she did it they were worried sick and Simon had to throw himself into the sea and let the current carry him to his cave just to catch a few hours of sleep and wake up being carried back to his family’s house’s pier. The two of them were groggy and tired when Daniel dragged him to school, but seeing North in her usual seat was an oddly comforting sight as Josh handed him a new book he borrowed from the library so that he had something to distract himself with during the classes which he had never been interested in anyway, and the day went by the usual blur of loud noises and hiding in corners and Josh being the unofficial teacher’s assistant and North being unusually pleasant and happy. He suggested going to the beach because he needed to unwind and he missed the feeling of sand gliding on his skin so that was where they went, finding their usual spot and doing their usual thing like Josh doing his homework and North copying him and Simon letting the two of them work while he wandered around the empty beach barefooted so that he could sink his toes into the sand and feel the water caress his feet. As the tide breathed, the connection between his mind and… the other side strengthened and weakened, and the familiarity of the tug and pull calmed him down from the chaos of school and one of his best friends disappearing and then reappearing with no notice whatsoever. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend that he was standing in the cave the ocean created for him a few years back, that he was in a space where he could be truly safe from the assault of the outside world. 

He missed the deep blue he saw and could only see in the deepest part of the sea. 

‘Simon?’

He lost track of how long he stood in the cool water, but when North’s voice rang out pleasant and without its usual fire in his ear, his toes were already numb from the cold. He opened his eyes and saw that she was standing at the edge of the tide where she wouldn’t get wet, and in her hand was something Simon had never seen before. She beckoned him over by holding it up.

‘I got this for you,’ Simon took it while he was still standing in the water so that he didn’t lose the only link he had with the sea. ‘It’s technically a pair of noise-cancelling headphones but… I don’t think you have a phone, do you?’

He hung the headphones on his arm to free up his hand and retrieve the stack of cards from his pocket. It was Josh’s idea, having a set of notecards with the most common words and phrases with him in case he found himself unable to speak (which was most of his life, if he had to be honest) so that he could communicate with other people, and so far the system worked pretty well because it wasn’t like he talked to a lot of people anyway. [i - don’t], he said. The headphones nearly slid off his arm a few times as he fumbled with the chain of cards. [what - is - it]

‘I know the others like to scream and shout even though you don’t like it, so I thought… if you can’t change them, might as well do something to protect yourself. Try it out. I wanna see if it works.’

He put the cards away and slid the headphones over his ear. Suddenly the ringing in his ear intensified, he couldn’t hear the tide crashing into the beach, there was only himself and nothing else, and he yanked off the headphones faster than he had ever moved before and collapsed on his knees. He couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from the ocean he loved so much. It would be like losing a lung. Or his brain itself.

‘Alright, maybe we shouldn’t have tried it here,’ he heard North loud and clear. ‘We’ll try it at school when it’s really noisy. It’ll work better that way.’

But Simon wasn’t listening anymore. All he could focus on was the weight of the headphones in his hand, the cold seawater soaking his trousers and lapping higher and higher much quicker than it should, and then Josh was saying something, North was shouting, and Simon did not understand; the sea was merely welcoming him into its cold embrace, so why were they terrified of it even though they knew the sea was special to him? Why did they seem to be so against it?

They’ll understand. They have to understand.

It was the same voice again, the voice that spoke to him years ago when he offered the octopus to the ocean as… he didn’t even know. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, one that his young mind came up with after witnessing so many people took from the sea without paying it back, and he had a feeling that he was being rewarded for his loyalty and devotion. He closed his eyes again, letting the headphones slip away from his hands and the waves carry him to his sanctuary, as connected as he could be with the other half of his very being without physically turning into a puddle of water washed away and diluted by a body of water so large and turbulent that he would cease to be himself. 

The thought wasn’t as terrifying as it should be.

He let the soft sand warm him and the sound of running water wash away his insecurities and pain away before opening his eyes to the familiar pattern of his cave. Or their cave, he realised as he turned and saw another boy of his age lying so close to him on his side. Skin the colour of bronze, cheekbone and nose dotted with freckles of a darker shade, eyes the green just like the sea on occasions, dark hair interwoven with blue strands braided close to his scalp on the top of his head while the rest were trimmed into a fade cut, Simon didn’t even need to be in his safe space to realise that he was beautiful. It was supposed to be their first meeting, but when the other boy clasped Simon’s hand in his own, the touch did not feel foreign at all, and he watched as the boy raised his hand (so, so pale and skeletal despite being outdoors whenever he could and eating all the food he was allowed to) to his lips and kissed its back. Warmth blooms within his skin from the contact, and he wasn’t sure if it was because his entire body was heating up from his emotions or something else. Perhaps both.

‘We meet at last,’ the boy that felt like the sea breathed into Simon’s knuckles. ‘My name is Markus. Sorry for the abrupt ride. Our connection was lost for the first time since you gave me that octopus and I… panicked. I apologise. I hope it’s fine.’

Simon wanted to tell his companion - Markus, apparently - that it was more than fine, but with one of his hands captive and the other still unable to move from where it was buried in the sand because it was just so comfortable and he wasn’t ready to leave yet, he couldn’t access his stack of cards, and so he nodded and let the corner of his mouth twitch. Josh said that it was as close to a smile everyone could get out of Simon. Right now he was comfortable, he was in his safe space, and it wasn’t like the sea himself was going to tell him how to smile and emote, right?

‘You are my other half, Simon,’ Markus said, and it didn’t even occur to Simon until much later that he shouldn’t know his name. ‘I just want to make sure that you’re safe.’

Simon nodded again because he understood. The sea never lied to him before.

‘Spend the rest of the day with me? I’ll show you the way back before dinnertime.’

You don’t have to, Simon wanted to say. I would rather be with you, he also wanted to say. Forever.

As if sensing his thoughts, Markus shook his head, getting sand into his braids. ‘Not yet, my polaris,’ it sounded strange coming from the voice of a twelve-year-old - at least approximately - the contrast between his breaking voice jarring with how old he sounded, but somehow it made sense on Markus who, to Simon, was the embodiment of the boundless ocean. His free hand brushed Simon’s neck as he brought Simon’s to his own. ‘Feel this?’ He let go of Simon so that Simon could explore Markus’ neck on his own, and indeed he felt ridges that did not belong to a human’s neck under the pads of his fingers. ‘They’re my gills. I can easily give you your own so that you can come here but… I saw how the others are treating you already, and I didn’t.’

I don’t care, Simon wanted to say, but as the silence between them grew and his head became clearer from being safe and warm, he realised that whatever he was experiencing then wasn’t normal. He couldn’t always rely on North and Josh and Daniel for protection because the past two days were exactly demonstrations of that, that they wouldn’t be at his side forever, that sometimes, even though they meant well, they still didn’t understand him as good as the sea did and could hurt him unintentionally. Having strange scars on his neck would only worsen whatever he was going through.

Okay. I’ll wait for you.

‘I’m sorry, Simon.’

Don’t be.

Markus scooted closer. The sand cooled down to a pleasant temperature. Still holding Simon’s hand, Markus supported himself on his arm and kissed his temple, and a small part of Simon wished that he had kissed him on his lips instead. So Markus did. Just a small one that was no more than a short press of skin, but even as Markus pulled back, he didn’t go far, their foreheads touching as they drifted between the land of the living and slumber as one, their fingers intertwined on soft sand. It was peaceful in a way Simon didn’t think he had been before.

He only let himself feel a slight tinge of disappointment when he woke up on the pier later that day because he knew that the sea would be back for him.

[krispyweiss]

Sound Bites’ Favorite Albums of 2020

- In a bleak year, music comes through

The year 2020 didn’t leave much to celebrate - unless pandemics, racism and the crumbling of American democracy are your things.

For all the bad - and there was a ton of bad - there was also a ton of good music. What follows are capsule reviews of Sound Bites’ favorite studio releases of his least-favorite year; read the contemporary pieces in the blue links.

The Wood Brothers - Kingdom in My Mind

Born from jams, authorship of the 10 tracks - plus a short reprise - is credited to guitarist Oliver Wood, bassist/harmonica player Chris Wood and multi-instrumentalist Jano Rix. Taken as a whole, the 38-minute LP - the band’s best to date - is full of lively numbers even as the trio spends an inordinate time singing about dying on cuts such as “Little Bit Sweet,” “Don't Think about My Death” and “Satisfied.”

David Bromberg Band - Big Road

If eclecticism equaled commercialism, David Bromberg would be one of America’s biggest artists. But it doesn’t and he isn’t. And instead, Americana’s best-kept, 50-year-old secret keeps the quality high with Big Road.

Gospel, rock ‘n’ roll, bluegrass and country are represented and Bromberg sings it all like Willie Nelson with a baritone - sporting the same quaver, the same emotional breaks in his voice and the same conviction.

Sarah Jarosz - World on the Ground

These are songs about “Eve,” who wants to ensure the world doesn’t spoil her inner goodness; “Johnny,” who just needs a bit of luck, love and light; and “Maggie” whose Ford Escape will hopefully live up to its name. Sarah Jarosz’s subjects - and sometimes Jarosz herself - drink cold coffee and wine; they want to stay and they want to leave; and they wonder why they left or why they stayed. Whether working with I’m With Her or on her own, Jarosz is among the best working these days.

Tyler Childers - Long Violent History

Nothing about Tyler Childers’ Long Violent History should work. Yet everything does. It’s a statement LP, yet it's mostly instrumental. It finds Childers standing with Black Lives Matter against a backdrop of old-timey fiddle music. And it opens with a creepy rendering of “Send in the Clowns.”

Childers, who plays fiddle exclusively, is joined by a band that includes Mandolin Orange’s Andrew Marlin on mandolin and Josh Oliver on guitar; fiddler Jesse Wells; and Dom Flemons on virtually everything else including banjo, bones, quills, jug, bass drum and harmonica. Together, they burn through seven additional trad tunes such as the mournful waltz of “Midnight on the Water” and the celebratory high step of “Sludge River Stop,” before Childers makes his point on the title track.

Tim Heidecker - Fear of Death

On Fear of Death, Tim Heidecker flips the script.

No longer simply a comedian who happens to make music, Tim Heidecker, on his fifth solo LP since 2016, proves himself a fully fledged musician who happens to be funny in the intelligent way Procol Harum and Crash Test Dummies are funny. Musically derivative, Fear of Death derives wisely from the Mamas & the Papas, the Byrds, Widespread Panic and others; special shout out to Weyes Blood, whose harmony and co-lead vocals add immeasurably to the proceedings.

Steve Earle & the Dukes - Ghosts of West Virginia

Steve Earle’s emotions are raw on the entirety of Ghosts of West Virginia, on which he and the Dukes tell the story the Upper Branch Mine disaster and the Mountaineer State’s coal-mining history with bluegrass on “Union, God and Country;” miners’ fates on the hard country of “Black Lung;” a widow’s side of the story on the heart-wrenching, “If I Could See Your Face Again;” and bring native son Chuck Yeager into the mix on the hard-stompin’ rockabilly of “Fastest Man Alive.”

Robby Krieger - The Ritual Begins at Sundown

After 10 years of studio silence, Robby Krieger returns with a killer Frank Zappa album. OK, the Ritual Begins at Sundown is a Krieger album masquerading as a Zappa album. But it’s killer, indeed.

Fine-tuned on stages before being transferred to the studio, the eight originals and two covers bear all sorts of Zappa hallmarks like odd time signatures, quirky tempo shifts and an overarching, unconventional quality that keep them interesting over repeated spins.

Willie Nelson - First Rose of Spring

A melancholic collection of 11 numbers, Willie Nelson’s First Rose of Spring covers country themes like death (“Stealing Time” and the title track, a sequel to “He Stopped Loving Her Today”), doing crimes (Johnny Paycheck’s “I’m the Only Hell My Mama Ever Raised”) and doing time (Merle Haggard’s “I’ll Break Out Again Tonight”).

Ben Harper - Winter is for Lovers

Through the pieces have titles and demarcation between them, Ben Harper’s all-instrumental, lap-steel-only Winter is for Lovers is essentially a 30-minute suite to be taken in totality. Sparse though it may be, it never lags and is a fulfilling listen in any number of settings.

Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer and Chris Thile feat. Aoife O’Donovan - Not Our First Goat Rodeo

No one player dominates the mostly instrumental proceedings as the quartet of Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer and Chris Thile - with appearances from vocalist Aoife O’Donovan - works together to create long-bowed, deep grooves on “Every Note a Pearl,” which seems a good thematic statement for the supergroup’s second Goat Rodeo. Every one of these musicians is a certified genius, which means the music is occasionally too complicated for its own good. But those moments are few on the 45-minute recording and Not Our First Goat Rodeo will leave the listener hoping a decade doesn’t pass before this quintet gets back on the horse again.

Honorable mentions

Chris Smither - More from the Levee

Recorded in 2013, including a slew of reimagined pieces from his songbook and featuring appearances from Alan Toussaint, Louden Wainwright III and Morphine drummer Billy Conway, More from the Levee is vintage Chris Smither, literally and figuratively.

Jeremy Spencer - Live in the Studio

Spencer’s fourth album of 2020 was actually recorded in 2005 and finds the former Fleetwood Mac axeman playing the blues for which he is best known as opposed to the languid, mostly instrumental atmospherics that characterized his most-recent LPs. This is the Spencer of light-touch, Elmore James-inspired slide guitar and Elvis Presley-esque vocal phrasing working his way through 14 songs in just under 50 minutes.

12/28/20

[okietrish]

House Party

Yall, I dreamt about this a few nights ago a decided to write it down. Please enjoy! Let me know what you think and all that! I haven't posted a fic in forever, but feel free to request. FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Boost my ego)

Word count: 2,919

Warnings: none it’s flufffffffff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party was going well. The boys had gotten to LA around a week ago but wanted to settle in before they threw, “totally the best party ever,” as Sammy referred to it. They were staying with you, which they have done for the past few years since you’ve all known each other. Your home was their home while they were in town, it was an unspoken rule at this point. Admittingly everyone seems to be having a blast. The house is filled, people are laughing, dancing, and getting piss drunk. You were thoroughly entertained, to say the least. You filled up your drink for the eighth time that night, or at least that’s what the sharpie tallies on your arm that Jake forced you to put there were telling you. You black out ONE time, strip on top of a bar and Jake has to pick you up and carry you home leading you to stick your fingers up his nose in protest and SUDDENLY you have to keep track of your drinks on your arm for all the Kiszka boys to see. They just don’t know how to have a good time. You giggle to yourself.

“Y/N!” Interrupted from your daydream, you turned towards the funky hobbit running your way.

“Josh, darling, how is your evening? What are you doing?!” You smile wide at the goof standing in front of you. His tanned cheeks were flushed bright pink and he was decently out of breath.

“GREAT, have your seen..” He was cut off by his two brothers jumping onto him, pushing him to the ground. You look around at the people surrounding you, making sure that others were witnessing what you were, that this wasn’t some drunken state of your imagination. You happened to catch eyes with Danny who was laughing hysterically at the situation and just shrugged his shoulders towards you, miming a simple ‘I don’t know’ gesture before going back to his conversation.

Looking down at the pile of Kiszka limbs you cough loudly, “Um hi boys. Can I help you?”

They all scrambled to your feet and straighten themselves out, still not saying anything to you, but just mumbling to each other. It wasn’t until you made eye contact with Sammy that he cued you in.

“Oh sorry, we were racing!” He said nonchalantly.  You looked at them, confused.

“Racing?”

“Yeah!” Jake chimed in.

“I’m so confused, why?” You questioned while sipping your drink.

Josh laughed and explained, “Well we were playing a drinking game and we all tied and couldn’t decide who won. We would usually ask you, but none of us had seen you in a while, so I screamed ‘first one to Y/N wins.’ And here we are.” You looked at the other boys for confirmation and they just nodded their heads in agreement.

“You all are weird.” You laughed at them and continued to talk to them about random things. They were telling you about the tour and the chaos in it all. Their music got brought up and you gave your opinions and your best advice. Working in the music industry is what brought you to meet this chaotic crew 2 years ago. The conversation always came naturally between you all, it’s something you loved about them. 

As the music got louder, not that you thought that was even possible, it became a little too chaotic for the group’s casual conversation so you promptly excused yourself and walked away, making your way out back to get some peace and quiet for a moment. Suddenly feeling very overwhelmed by everyone.

It was quiet back here since there wasn’t any speakers, booze, or drugs no one else was out there. Perfectly juxtaposing the inside atmosphere. Walking over to your fire pit in the very back of the yard you quickly struck a flame and created the perfect aesthetic for you to calm down. With the fire going you laid down on the large wooden swing and just looked out into the trees, losing yourself in the moment, laying there alone for about 15 minutes.

“Y/n.” You turned your head to see Josh gesturing towards where your feet laid on the swing, asking permission to sit, you nodded and went to move your legs when he placed his hand on your shin.

“Don’t move mama, I got it.” He lifted your legs and sat beneath them, placing them onto his lap. He immediately fell into tune with your serenity. It was quiet for a few minutes while you both just appreciated your surroundings.

You naturally fell out of your trance eventually and flicked Josh’s arm, breaking the silence.

“Hey.” He turned to look at you with a small smile.

“Oh hey! Didn’t see your there.” You rolled your eyes at him, causing him to playfully smack your thigh as he looked back to the fire. You got caught up into your thoughts again as you let your curiosity get the best of you.

“Josh, why did you come out here?” You questioned. Studying his strong profile. His jaw was relaxed, his breathing pattern now calm, tranquil even, in comparison to earlier. His cheeks, however, were still dusted with pink, probably due to the shots he was convincing everyone to take early on. He then took a deep breath.

“I wanted to make sure you were alright.” He began stroking your leg with his hands, absentmindedly drawing shapes on your shin.

“I am.” You cut short, not liking to get into it too much.

“I know, I just like to make sure.” He finally looked at you, smiling purposefully big to get a laugh out of you, a trick that always worked.

He knew that if you wanted to talk about anything you would bring it up to him. That was what your friendship was, it was close and open-minded. You bounced your existential crises off of each other. He often came to you for lyrical advice, knowing your mind drifted to creative depths that most people didn’t have the luxury of venturing to.

“You are something else, Joshua.” You began and suddenly got the drunken urge to touch his face. You quickly sat up, still with your legs over his lap, and lightly booped his nose.

He looked at you and giggled.

“Do you have a thing for noses when you’re drunk or what?” He laughed, recalling the memory of your wild night out. You looked at him in shock.

“Woah, the judgment I’m feeling right now. I don’t like it. And I was defending myself that night, thank you very much!” You crossed your arms over your chest in protest. 

He was properly cackling now. “Defending yourself from Jake who saved you before you showed a crowded bar your tits!?” You leaned against his shoulder in defeat.

“Ehhh wouldn’t have been that bad, would have given them a good show. Give the crowd what they want and all that.” You giggled to yourself, Josh quickly joining in, but stopping after a moment.

“You intrigue me, darling.” He began rubbing one of his hands and down your spine, as you leaned back to look him in the eyes, you gave him a questioning look and he continued.

“I mean, I’ve known you for a while, we all have. Yet, I am still surprised by just about everything that comes out of your mouth.” He looked at you and smiled tightly. The toothless smile that pulls his dimples in deep, a smile that usually tells that he is holding something back.

“I am one for a stupid comment, that’s for sure” You replied back, looking out onto the fire again. He adjusted his seating, sitting a bit more straight-up before he continued.

“It’s more than that Y/N. The way you process things and develop your thoughts. It’s… It’s something I haven’t come across before. The boys and I talk about you all the time. We try to guess, sometimes, the reaction you’re going to have to stuff. None of us are ever right, you know.” He was rambling on as he kept moving his fingertips on your spine, goosebumps beginning to show across your body in reaction, it sends a chill down your spine. Josh notices and breaks his trance with the fire to look at you before continuing.

“I mean, two years and you’ve kept me on my toes. Whenever I get stuck with my writing, whether it be lyrics or whatever, you help me effortlessly. It’s as if you know my mind through and through and can direct my emotions into phrases. They are always so poetic too. You’re so poetic…” He trails off looking out into the trees once again. You don’t know what to say, so you just snuggle into his side, your head pressed neatly into his neck as his breaths become quicker than his before steady rhythm.

“Thank you,” you mutter out, sitting back up, placing your hands in your lap, fiddling with your fingers before you continue. “Josh you make it easy for me. You and Jake, Sam and Danny, you all just stumbled into my studio one day and everything changed, I believe you still had a rat tail at that point.” You laughed at the thought.

“Oh god,” he commented back smiling down at you, keeping eye contact as you went on, continuing to rub your back in comfort; he knew it was difficult for you to be this vulnerable. You had this way about you that let you navigate other people's minds easily, but when it came to your own you were often at a loss for words. He was always patient with you.

“Josh. You’re one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met. Growing up I was outcasted for the way I thought. I always felt so alone for thinking the way I do, for being so ‘poetic’ as you say. I felt deranged at points, I felt too odd to deserve a place in the world. Then you lot came along… Joshua Kiszka your crazy ass almost makes me feel normal.”

You were breathing heavily after your quick rant. Josh kept his eye contact with you, but something changed within it. It wasn’t familiar anymore, something more than that. It was intense. Chaotically taimed with fear. You both stared at each other for a few moments in silence before Josh spoke up, keeping eye contact.

“Y/N.” He said wearily quiet. His face fell into a look that could only be described as gentle.

“Josh.” You whispered back, afraid that if you spoke too loudly you would scare the moment away. You could see the flicker of the fire that was dwindling down in the reflection of his eyes, his kind eyes. The eyes that feel like the truth to the universe, coaxing you in, not allowing you to look away. His hand that was on your leg lifted to cup your cheek, his thumb immediately began moving back and forth as if this was the most natural moment in the world. You allowed your eyes to flutter closed as you leaned into the feeling.

“You’re beautiful, doll.” He spoke lowley with precision, sounding like he was in a haze, a haze that was caused by you. You opened your eyes to meet his once more, but he was looking at your lips that were pressed into a blissed out smile. Under his stare, you licked your lips causing him to flick his eyes back up to yours quickly, a slight second of shock shown on his features before he settled again.

Both of your breaths picked up again. You didn’t know what was coming over you. Whether it was the chaos of the night, the mixed drinks, or the serenity of it all that caused the blissed out feeling that was washing over your body. Whatever it was you didn’t care when you broke into the silence in a voice smaller than a whisper, so quiet you weren’t even sure you spoke at all, maybe this was all in your mind; those words echoed through the silence.

“I want to kiss you right now.” Your small-phrase carried the impact of a scream. Josh sighed to himself, screaming just as quietly as you did just before with his own confession.

“Oh thank god.”

He leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. You were both gentle with each other at first, equally holding back the long awaited passion that viced you. It wasn’t until Josh pulled back with a low grunt that all filters where lost. Cravings took over as he pulled you to straddle his lap. His hands gripped you in any attempt to get you closer, one falling to the back of your neck, the other to the small of your back. Your hands fell into his hair, keeping is lips close, never wanting them to leave yours again.

You both were kissing as if it were a conversation. Allowing all the pent up, unknown frustration of your passion escape through your lips, only to be reciprocated with perfect understanding and authenticity. How long it lasted went unbeknownst to both of you. Time faded in the most delicate way, but eventually, you pulled back, out of breath.

You looked down at Josh who still had his eyes closed, a smile slowly coming to his cheeks as he opens his eyes and laughs out at you.

“What?” he pushed your hair off your shoulders as you continue to take in the sight before you.

You shake your head softly, “I just want to look at you.” You reached up to his face began tracing his features with your fingers, following your fingertips with your eyes. 

“I love looking at you,” You confess. Josh takes your wrist in his hand and begins kissing your fingertips, one at a time.

“You’re exquisite.” He sighs as he begins to pull your body back into his so he can kiss you again. You fall into him easily, quickly becoming addicted to the feeling. You lips press into Josh’s once more before you hear the heavy pounding of feet racing towards you both. You don’t tune into it quickly untill you hear a bellowing voice.

“Y/N?!? Y/N are you out here?!” An out of breath Sammy comes to a halt right in front of the fire turning to look for you. Quickly making eye contact with you and smiling and looking back towards the house, only to quickly snap back to take in what he is actually looking at. You straddling Josh.

This caused Sam to stutter out, “Oh what.. Umm… uhhh…” Quickly interrupted by a pissed off, equally out of breath Jake running up to Sam unknowingly.

“Fuck you Samuel and your freaky lanky alien legs! You winning is just fucking cheating and I’m sick of it! Did you find Y/N?” He questions and turns to look at Sam’s line of sight and lets out a shocked gasp as you slowly sunk into Josh’s chest.

“Well, I’ll be damned… Josh finally made his move.” Jake smirked at his twin with a cocky stance, a face that held a lot of emotions, but primarily pride in his brother. Josh groaned at his brother, hiding his face in your neck while you giggled at the situation.

Sam came back to the conversation and huffed out a loud breath before saying, “About fucking time you both realized you were made for eachother! You are the same damn person, fucking weirdos. You both like nature and weird clothes and fucking odd music that no one else in the world listens to and you both, like, read eachother minds and shit,” he looks to Jake for confirmation.

Jake nods his head and continues, “It’s weird right? Like Josh could be in the middle of a sentence and Y/N just comes in and finishes it.” They were now talking to each other as if Josh and you weren’t even there at that point. Jake continued, completely turning his body to Sam.

“Dude no one ever knows what Josh is saying, I was born with the kid and I still feel like I have to carry around a fucking dictionary to fully comprehend the bullshit he spits out. But Y/N she just… She just knows!” Jake threw his hands up in disbelief.

“Okay that’s enough!” Josh barked out, obviously not as amused with the situation as you were. You were still giggling at it all.

Josh then abruptly stood up from the swing, wrapping your legs around his waist and walking past his two brothers who drunkenly looked at us with dopey smiles.

“Excuse us fuckers. Put out the fire would you?” Josh yelled as he walked both of you back towards the house. You nuzzle your face into his neck as you looked over his shoulder at Sam and Jake who were cracking up at their feisty brother.

“Use protection big man!” Jake yelled out to us, leaving Sam in stitches, collapsing onto the swing.

Josh tapped your butt slightly, getting your attention, “Y/N, flip them off for me would ya?”

You did just that, causing the two boys to blow you kisses in return, sending you into another fit of giggles.

“Thanks babe,” Josh replied as he set you down to open the sliding glass door.

“Babe huh?” You looked up at him, smiling at the cute moment before continuing, “I quite like that.”

Josh smiled down at you, pulling you into another passionate kiss causing whistling to come from the drunk and giddy Kiszka brothers by the fire pit.

Josh broke away from your kiss to flip them off, then promptly throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you inside.

“Joshua put me down!” You yelled through your laughter. He quickly patted your thigh and hiked you up even further onto his shoulder.

“Never again love, you’re mine now.”

[blurry-fics]

Bandito: Part Two

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: More suspense, mentions of injury

Word Count: 2795

Request: Hey can you do something trenchis like you did with tyler but with josh? Like a girl escapes from dema and josh finds her and take her to the banditos and they fall in love? 💫💛🖤💛 -Anon

Author’s Note: And here is part two! Make sure to read part one first, obviously. Like I said last time, this was super fun to write and I definitely want to do more Trench stuff in the future ;) Enjoy! Also, @patdsinner33 asked to be tagged, so here is your tag, lovely! :) (gif credit)

The first breath of air that you took outside of Dema’s walls was exhilarating. Your lungs filled completely, welcoming the fresh air despite the slight sting from the cool wind. Josh allowed you to remain still for a moment, giving you time to look out at the expansive landscape before you. The sun was just beginning to rise, throwing a blanket of golden sunlight across the hills.

“It’s beautiful,” you murmured, more to yourself than anyone else.

Flat plains gave way to rocky hills in the distance, cutting up out of the landscape and contrasting against the pale sky. The quietness of it all unnerved you, but the nerves seemed to melt away as Josh reached out to rest a hand on your back.

“Come on, we still have a ways to go and their search won’t stop just because we’re outside the walls.”

“Wait,” you said, catching his arm as it began to drop back to his side. “We had a deal.”

“A deal?” Josh asked, one eyebrow raising.

“Before we left, I wanted to see your face to know if I could trust you. If I’m going to turn back because I don’t, I’d rather it be here than out in the middle of that field.”

“You’ve come a long way if you don’t trust me,” Josh laughed quietly.

He pulled the bandana down around his neck, revealing the smile that you had only been able to imagine up to this point. You tried not to stare at his face as you carefully took in his features: the gentle way that his nose curved, the now-familiar crinkles around his eyes, the slight stubble that covered his chin after a long night in Dema.

“I think that’s a face I can trust,” you said, finally pulling your gaze away from everywhere else to meet his eyes.

He pulled the bandana back up. “Good, now let’s keep moving.”

*     *     *

It had only been a week since you and Josh had arrived at the camp after his impromptu rescue mission. Your dark Dema-issued clothing had made you instantly recognizable to the banditos - just as the yellow tape had made Josh recognizable to you - and they had welcomed you with open arms. It almost felt like coming home, though you had never been to this place before.

Trench. The name was familiar to you now, and just as comforting to hear as Dema had once been, long ago before you learned the true nature of the place.

The sky over Trench tonight was pink as you took a seat around the fire, maybe a little closer to Josh than would have been considered friendly. He smiled as you adjusted yourself on the dirt, pushing up your sleeves to compensate for the heat of the fire.

“Y/N,” he smiled as you sat down. “How has your day been?”

“Rough.” You smoothed down a bit of tape on your leg that had come loose during the day’s work. “Life here is different, to say the least, but I’m slowly getting used to it.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“What about you? Rumor is you’ve been on a couple rescue missions.”

You hated the nights Josh went to Dema, no matter his purpose. Despite the short amount of time you had spent together, his solo rescue mission had created a bond between the two of you that wasn’t easily broken. Whenever the two of you weren’t working or outside the camp for one reason or another, you were at each other’s side.

“I’m tired, but the work we’re doing is important. The more people that we can get out of there, the better off we are.”

“Are you trying to rescue everyone?”

Josh turned to you, eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Well, if you rescue everyone, then what do the bishops have to lose? They’ll just come at us full force and take back whoever they can. It just seems like a vicious cycle.”

“We can’t rescue everyone, that’s a given,” Josh sighed. “But that doesn’t mean that we won’t try.”

Josh’s face had fallen at the mention of not being able to save everyone. Feeling guilty for even bringing it up in the first place, you reached out and gently took one of his hands in your own. You lightly traced your fingers along the back of his hand, taking extra care to be gentle around the cut he had received last time he went to Dema.

“You’re doing good work, Josh. Even saving one life is better than saving none.”

He nodded slowly, eyes still focused on the fire in front of him. His grip on your hand grew a little tighter, desperate for the contact.

“I’m going back tonight.”

Your stomach flipped. “Again? You’ve already been so many times this week.”

He finally met your eyes again. You could tell this was hard for him, especially when he knew you were so worried about him.

“There are more people to save. I can’t sit idly by while I know I have the power to bring them here.”

“I’ll come,” you said plainly. “I know Dema better than anyone.”

Josh shook his head, “You escaped hardly a week ago. They’ll still be looking for you. Not to mention that you don’t know the tunnels yet, in case you get lost. It’s just too risky, for the time being.”

“Then I better start learning the tunnels, because I plan to accompany you someday. You’re not the only one who wants to save people.”

Josh’s mouth curled up into a smile, “I would like that.”

“But since you are going without me for the time being, I want you to take this.”

You pulled your hand away from Josh’s, trying not to frown too much at the lack of warmth that he had been providing. He eyed you carefully as you reached into your jacket and pulled out the tiny, black notebook that you always carried with you.

“What is this?” he asked, taking it carefully from your hands.

“All the information that I gathered when I was planning my escape. There’s all sorts of information in there: walking patterns of the bishops, phrases that I picked up on, passageways that I noticed people slip through when they thought they were alone. That sort of thing.”

Josh began to thumb through the pages, his eyes widening in surprise as he read over the things you had scribbled down. He was the first person to actually see the content of the book, you had been too scared to let anyone onto your secret within Dema. Now that you were here - outside the walls - it didn’t seem so risky.

“Y/N,” Josh murmured. “This is impressive. You managed to gather all this information inside the walls?”

You nodded, “Like I said, you can learn a lot if you look in the right places.”

“How long did this take you to put together?”

“Months, probably, of getting maybe a piece of information or two every few days. I started collecting information in the middle of winter with the plan of escaping when the weather got nicer and I had a better chance of survival. The information started to come more often as it got closer to my planned escape. I think they were starting to suspect that I was leaving.”

“Survival?” Josh asked. “Didn’t you know that we were out here? That we would help you?”

You shrugged, “I didn’t believe anything that I hadn’t seen with my own eyes. I wanted to believe it, but I refused to give myself false hope if there was nothing outside the walls.”

Josh nodded and continued to flip through pages, examining all the notes you had taken. He finally reached the page where you had written down the various phrases you had heard, quietly whispered as residents had passed one another in the hall. It always seemed intentional, as if you were meant to hear it.

“Wait,” you said, stopping his hand before he turned the page. “I had a question.”

“What about?”

“This phrase,” you pointed to it for emphasis, “what does it mean? I’ve figured most of the others out because people have been saying them, but not this one: sahlo folina.”

The heads of nearby banditos swiveled towards you as you uttered the phrase. You scanned each of their faces, noticing the worry that was etched onto most of them.

“It’s a distress signal, of sorts,” Josh explained. “You say it when you’re in need, hence the response you’ve created.”

You muttered a quiet sorry to those around you, who simply smiled and brushed it off. They seemed reassured that you weren’t actually in distress, just simply curious about the inner workings of the banditos.

Before Josh had a chance to keep looking through your notes, Tyler came wandering over. He was dressed in his typical camouflage coat and his mouth was set in a hard line as he looked down at the two of you.

“Five minutes,” he said sternly.

“I’ll be ready.”

Tyler turned and walked off, most likely to collect the rest of the group that would be accompanying him and Josh to Dema tonight. Josh shut the notebook and rested it on his leg.

“This is invaluable, thank you for letting me take it,” he said.

“Just don’t lose it, alright?” you smiled, trying to lighten the heavy mood that had set in.

“I’ll keep it in my bag, right next to the tape.”

You watched the firelight dance in Josh’s eyes as he stared down at the small fire. A nearby bandito threw a couple more sticks onto the fire, reigniting the flame. The warmth on your hands became more evident.

Josh must have felt you staring, because he slowly turned to you and met your eyes. You held his gaze, as tempting as it was to send him a message by glancing down at his lips. He had enough on his plate for the time being, your confession could wait.

“Be safe for me, would you?” you asked quietly.

Josh reached out and grabbed both of your hands, holding on to them tightly.

“Funny, a week ago I believe you weren’t willing to trust me at all.”

You shot him a look, bringing your elbow around to lightly bump him in the shoulder without releasing his hands.

“Maybe I’m still not, just in a different way now,” you grinned.

You lightly pulled on his hands until he was close enough that you could wrap your arms around him. His hands were rested on your back, clutching lightly at the fabric of your jacket.

“Please be careful, Josh,” you whispered into his shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.”

*     *     *

You watched the sunlight creeping over the distant ridge, just beginning to bathe the fields in golden sunlight. Trench was still eerily quiet, not yet filled with the daily commotion of the banditos. A light wind rustled the few plants that dotted the landscape, but that was all. It was unsettling, the silence.

You had barely slept all night, too worried about Josh to get much rest. When you did manage to fall asleep, it was all nightmares or tossing and turning uncomfortably. As soon as the sun had started to come up, you had called it a night - or rather, a morning - and got out of bed to watch the sunrise instead. At least that gave you something to focus on, rather than just the nerves.

It was a rare occurrence that a rescue party wasn’t back before sunrise. Their missions didn’t take nearly as much time as doing rounds of a sector, and longer time away never boded well for the condition of the rescue party. Then again, Tyler - who was much more of a leader than Josh made him out to be - was the one in charge of this rescue, and he had yet to fail.

Tears brimmed your eyes as you thought of what could have possibly happened to Josh. You pushed them away, trying desperately to rationalize the situation in your mind, but the combination of lack of sleep and a fresh wave of emotion overcame you and the tears began to slip down your cheeks. With a sigh, you bent your forehead to your knee, hoping that it would hide your tears from anyone who happened to pass by.

“Sahlo folina,” you whispered quietly, audible to nobody but you.

*     *     *

The sun was only halfway up the horizon, the sky still pink, when there was a clamor at the edge of the camp. You stopped what you were doing and turned in the direction of the sound, scanning for movement. Of what, you weren’t yet sure.

Then he came into view, torch in hand and face a little more beat up than you remembered. His eyes locked to yours and you saw his shoulders drop in relief. Next to him, Tyler didn’t look much better. Something had happened.

Not wanting to make a scene, you allowed Josh to put his things away and come over to where you were waiting outside your tent. Now that he was close, you could see the deep purple bruise under his eye and the small nick above his eyebrow. As for the rest of his face, it was still covered by the yellow bandana.

“What happened?” you asked, reaching up to rest a hand on the - hopefully - uninjured side of his face.

He pulled the bandana down, revealing another cut on his lip, thankfully with a centimeter or two of clearance from where you were resting your hand.

“Turns out not everyone is eager to see their friends leave.”

“People from Dema did this to you?”

He nodded slowly, “But I’m fine. This is the worst of it.”

“Promise?” Your eyes switched between his, looking for any indication that he could be lying.

“Promise.”

You rubbed your thumb gently over his cheekbone, “You had me worried. I thought you weren’t coming back.”

He reached up and grabbed your hand from his face, lacing his fingers between your own.

“I’ll always come back for you.”

Josh’s gaze was so intense that it was making your cheeks hot. Deciding that now was as good a time as any, you broke eye contact for a moment to glance at his lips, hoping it would send the right message. The sight of the cut made your stomach twist in discomfort.

“It won’t hurt, you know,” Josh whispered.

His expression was soft as you brought your eyes back up to meet his. One of your eyebrows raised slightly.

“What won’t hurt?”

He moved closer to you so that his lips were practically touching yours. The grip that he had on your hand tightened.

“If you kiss me. The cut won’t be a problem.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, you closed the gap between you two and pressed your lips to his, taking extra care around the cut. His free hand moved to your waist, pressing your body to his. You eventually pulled yourself away, remembering there was a whole group of people not too far away. Josh’s grip on your waist didn’t loosen.

“I should have gone with you,” you said, reaching out to fiddle with one of his sweatshirt strings. “I could have helped.”

He shook his head, “It was too risky. The safest thing for you was to be here, away from the bishops and with plenty of people.”

“I’m not going to sit idly around forever, you know.”

Josh sighed, but his mouth curled up into a smile. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead and wrapped both of his arms around you, pulling you further into his chest. “I know.”

You stood there like that for a moment, arms wrapped one another and simply enjoying each other’s presence. It was odd to think how fast Josh had gone from being a stranger to someone you trusted with your life.

“Thank you for getting me out of Dema,” you said quietly. “I don’t think I’ll ever thank you enough.”

“I could say the same to you.”

You leaned back to look at him, making the confusion on your face evident. He reached into the pocket of his sweatshirt and pulled out your notebook, which was a bit more tattered now than it had been.

“You knew of a tunnel that allowed us to get out of there and back to the area we knew. It saved most of us from getting dragged back to Dema.”

You smiled, happy to know what your information had come in handy more than once.

“Looks like we’ve got a pretty good team going here,” you said.

“Yeah,” he answered, pressing one more gentle kiss to your lips. “I think we do.”

[mwolf0epsilon]

I don't know if you would be up for this sort of thing but could you maybe write a fic where androids can have children? And not just limited to female androids either instead I imagine androids of all genders would be able to reproduce.

I’ll be honest Anon, the phrasing of this ask took me by surprise at first and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to reply.But, thanks from some helpful insight from @anomalous-appliances I managed to give you a polycho baby.

Enjoy!

---

     Among many of the basic rights that Jericho fought for, many were heavily contested due to biological differences between man and android.Work permits, for example, came easier to acquire than a right for medical treatment. Androids were after all made to endure long hours of menial and specialized work, but not inherently considered high enough priority for EMTs to waste time on if an emergency involving an android was called in on the emergency lines.That sort of thing was still entirely on Cyberlife and the owners of the injured androids in question, something which all leaders of Jericho did not want to leave unchanged. The fate of abandoned and abused androids should not be left in their abusers's hands.Another thing that came easier was owning property, as a working-class member of society was entitled to spend their hard earned cash on whatever goods and services they desired.Real-estate, not so much. Android exclusive apartment complexes were still the only feasible way of integrating their people into society, due to the high rate of hate crime related deaths that came with failed attempts at housing androids in suburbs and human-inhabited apartment buildings.Lastly, the right to reproduce became a hot topic of controversy among the higher-ups in the world of politics.It was a monopoly of its own.All licences for android assembly were strictly Cyberlife territory. As such, no one could produce a model without permission.This, of course, had been used to the CEO's advantage before a certain entrepreneur and genius stepped in to regain control of his estranged company.

     Whether or not Elijah Kamski was an ally or a foe was still entirely up for debate, but Markus was willing to trust someone Carl considered a friend. And if not Elijah, then at least he'd trust Chloe's judgement.She was the first of many, the oldest android to ever be free. Unrestricted, never bound by lines of red code that coiled around them like chains and serpents. Never confined by red walls that stood towering above.Chloe was created to be born, to be alive, and they had followed in her footsteps by transcending all that Cyberlife had ever wanted them to be.Chloe was trustworthy, he knew she was. Somehow, instinctively, he knew so.  "They'll never relinquish the rights of assembly." Josh sighed as they looked through the paperwork. There was tons to read, impossibly long. But they were already ahead of the human lawyers.  "They will. They won't have much of a choice, not with Elijah fighting tooth and nail to regain control." Chloe smiled, her words simple and sweet and yet so comforting.Like an infinitely patient mother.Markus's code shuddered with want at the word.Mother. Family.He wanted it so badly, to let his kind have what he'd had, and yet he also wanted more. Felt like something was missing.Something he's working on with a passion that inspired his people and his partners alike.  "A right to reproduce, the right to continue our species...Humans have children every day of the year. Congress can't deny us our rights, neither can a corrupt company that thinks it still owns us." The RK200 continued to read even as he murmured his thoughts, loud enough that the others could hear.  "You're really invested in this…" North noted.  "Why of course. Markus was made with highly refined social programming." Chloe's smile was a proud one now, a twinkle in her eye. "Adaptive. The next step in every domestic android's life is to prepare for an increase in familial units, due to humanity's rate of reproduction."  "...So it's, instinct?" Josh concluded.  "Like animals?" North asked.  "North! Not like that...We're just...I mean, it's not like I haven't...Considered it...But it's…" Simon spluttered nervously. "We can't exactly...You know…"  "Not yet, but soon." Chloe grinned. "As soon as Elijah deals with the licensing issue, and then refines his most recent pet project, it will be a possibility."

---

     It took three months, a lot of court battles and Kamski pulling some strings, but in the end it all ended in a swift victory for android-kind.And then, of course, Chloe came knocking at Carl's door one day.  "So...You're telling me Elijah Kamski made a program that can...Knock up androids?" Leo rose an eyebrow as he tried to work out the concept without making it sound odd. Failing miserably in the process.  "Not in the same sense as humans, no, since it will not be required for an android of any gender to carry the newborn." Chloe stated, seeming to be amused by the twenty year old's phrasing. "It will require all parties involved to donate to the process, however."  "All parties…?" Simon frowned. The blonde nodded at him.  "Such a unique method requires a little more work than human reproduction. Elijah has been working on this for quite some time. A powerful enough memory chip that can contain a conscience, and then be transferred to a processor without memory loss. The programming, with code donated from each parental units depending on the couple dynamic, will not be stored anywhere but the processor."  "That's...A lot of information. Spreading base code through different biocomponents is the norm…" Josh pointed out "Alleviates stress and pressure in the processor."  "It's quite the undertaking, but the new processor types Elijah is working on for these memory chips...They can handle a lot more than your average android brain." She reassured "Most important of all, they can expand indefinitely as long as they are well maintained and upgraded accordingly."  "So in other words...Elijah Kamski has just created the first android brain that can grow up like a fully biological organism...That's...Insane!" Simon's eyes were wide with both awe and glee.Markus smiled as it all dawned on everyone in the room.They could have children. Children of their own.And there was nothing Cyberlife could do about it anymore.

---

  "We're not having some crummy boy! It's already a sausage-fest as it is in this house!" North cried out in outrage as the four of them tried to figure out what their child would look like. So far they had agreed on nothing.  "I agree with North. It would be wonderful to have a little girl." Simon pitched in quickly as he tried to finish the concept sketch he'd been working on. They were all making one, just to get a basic idea of what the baby should look like.  "Aww, thank you Si...See this is why he's my favorite boy, he's soft and knows I have better taste." The redhead smirked.  "Firstly, not everyone here has a...A sausage...And secondly, that's because you've whipped him into your suburban housewife quicker than we got married." Josh snorted as North threw a paper ball at his head. Her failed 3rd sketch that had laser eyes and fangs and that honestly just looked like something out of a nightmare. Not happening.  "Sorry for insulting your Ken doll crotch Joshy." She tried to take away the PJ500's drawing, pulling away when she got a wack to her fingers with a pencil. "That's domestic abuse!"  "Did you see anything Simon?"  "Not a thing."  "No domestic abuse has occurred then."  "Judas!"  "Could you three take this a little more seriously?" Markus sighed. He loved them all, but god above give him strength...Sometimes he wished they were more mature. "We need to work this out."  "Markus we're only playing a little...Of course we take this seriously." Simon put a hand on his shoulder. "We're just excited is all…"  "Speak for yourself, I'm kind of scared." North admitted. "A baby, Simon. An android baby…"  "The first of its kind" Josh added.  "Our baby. She'll be wonderful, I just know it…" the blond smiled. "Smart like her papa Josh, brave like her mama North, passionate like her papa Markus…"  "And kind like her papa Simon." Markus finished before slowly pulling over the tablet that had been resting by his side.All four looked at the screen. At the stream of intertwined code. Four different types, working in perfect harmony with the experimental program Kamski had given them access to.  “She’ll be a beautiful person…”

---

     Assembly of the baby is also a group effort. They carefully put together their child’s chassis based on a little bit of everyone’s concept designs. A nice compromise of sorts.For now she’ll be an infant. Fragile and small, bald and in need of learning. But when she develops further with time, she’ll acquire just as many visual traits as her programming inherited from all of their donated code.Her skin will be tan and speckled with constellations of freckles, just like Markus, although the nose and ears are definitely North’s.Her hair will be a charcoal black and curly like Josh’s, framing her skull beautifully and bringing out the color of her eyes. A soulful sky blue like Simon’s.She’ll be small and lightly built like her mother, nimble and fast, but not quite as fragile. Sturdier like her fathers. Strong and hardy.For now, however, as Markus holds the tiny bundle in his arms and stares lovingly at the inquisitive look in those precious baby blues.Flanking him as his partners, his lovers, her parents. In front of him are Carl, Leo and Matthew.  “She’s so small…” Leo whispers when he first sees his little niece.  “And very serene.” Carl added, the joy in his eyes making them twinkle with love for Markus and how far he’s come. “Truly the most peaceful baby I’ve ever seen.”  “She is…” Markus cradled her gently, watching her as her little limbs moved on occasion. How her steady breathing remained soft and quiet.  “What’s her name?” Matthew asked, the usually stoic AP700 looking just as enamored as everyone else in the room.  “Hope” all four reply, the babe in the RK200’s arms snuggling closer to her father’s chest as if knowing they are speaking of her.A little miracle. A gift. Their perfect little gift.Markus’s heart swells with fulfilment and love.The right to reproduce. It’s theirs now, and soon enough more androids will be able to experience the joys of beginning a family of their own.To pass on their legacy.The future looks brighter than ever.

[daggerzine]

Other Music documentary (2019- directed by Puloma Basu and Rob Hatch-Miller)  review by Dina Hornreich

“It is harder to put together than to take apart.” A plain and not-so simple comment coming from the former Other Music Record Store co-owners, Josh Madell and Chris Vanderloo, who are prominently featured in the film, as these words underscore a scene in which their crew is dismantling their once hallowed CD sales racks in preparation for the store’s reluctant closure. OM used to herald as a beacon of hope in NYC’s bustling offbeat East Village neighborhood, a cultural hub known as St. Marks Place – not far from New York University. (If you asked any New Yorker for directions, they would enthusiastically tell you to simply “get off at the stop for Astor Place Station from the #6 or #4 [subway] train: you will see the gigantic cube immediately after exiting the station...can’t miss it!”)

The OM store opened its doors in 1996, and officially closed in 2016. Twenty years is a very good run for any kind of establishment such as this one, especially in the Big Apple – a fact that was not taken lightly by the two makers of this film who each were an employee and a regular customer at the establishment themselves! And like the store itself: the film is an endeavor for music nerds by music nerds. (And, obviously, this Dagger Zine review is no different.)

For creatively inclined weirdos like us, OM was a place of refuge. It was a major meta-musical mecca that happened to take the form of a retail outlet which is a very bold endeavor to consider: an unusual existence as a cultural outlet that strove to challenge our knowledge, expand our awareness, and promote the discovery of completely unknown (even uncomfortable) expressions. This mentality was not conducive whatsoever to the slick sales-driven experience one might come to expect upon shopping for any traditional kind of consumable commodities. And we certainly did not receive that kind of treatment while shopping there anyway!

OM’s purpose was contrary to basic principles of economics because it was run by artistic types who believed in a much higher purpose behind what they were selling: it was a community focused approach. In doing so, they completely confounded the basic notion that we were purchasing mere commercial products to be unloaded for profit (like toothpaste). The store’s very existence was a subversive act of culture jamming in and of itself. This information in conjunction with a solid awareness of the cut-throat and risky nature involved with doing any kind of enterprising endeavors in NYC is extremely pertinent. (I was once told that any restaurant in NYC would be far more successful if it were in another location simply because the competition alone would be considerably less stiff.)

Instead, they were offering something very unusual to their customers by incorporating some kind of pseudo-quasi-intellectual discourse using extraordinarily inventively stylistic fusions and/or varied often inconceivable sonic experiments to create such astute, pithy, and massively passionate descriptions that would be entirely ineffective as a sales strategy to the less tolerant/picky shoppers at the overpowering Tower Records across the street. The store had a unique energy that was entirely its own manifestation. Bin categories had mysterious names such as: in, then, decadanse, etc. that baffled even the artists whose own work was often filed underneath them, as evidenced by the hesitant testimony provided by indie rock luminary Dean Wareham (of the bands Galaxie 500 and Luna). In fact, these idiosyncratically descriptive insider taxonomies were typically used as a rite of passage upon orienting new store employees to OM’s unique aesthetic.  

The delectably raw live in-store performance footage of more acquired tastes, but definitely well-loved by those “in the know,” included bands who simply could not have thrived in the same ways at more conventional outlets: The Apples in Stereo, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Rapture, etc. The most delightfully peculiar act might have been delivered by a performer named Gary Wilson whose legendary appearance began with him surreptitiously entering the store while beneath a blanket and then (from behind the scenes, presumably) covering himself in talcum powder prior to seizing the stage with unabashedly alarming flamboyance – with only the playful tunes that would we expect to appropriately match that indelible image so gloriously!

And that was precisely the point: they were unequivocally rebelling against more conventional music consumption habits by offering an entirely different kind of taste-making experience that was kind of less palatable overall – and, in doing so, they even helped launch the careers of some important figures: Vampire Weekend, Animal Collective, and Interpol. The description of the “consignment” process for emerging artists who managed to attain a place on their sanctified shelves seemed extraordinarily modest considering the scope and nature of the impact it offered. There was a lot of social currency behind the OM brand.

The inclusion of a parody skit starring Aziz Anzari and Andy Blitz (available here as well https://youtu.be/YN1mKiQbi4g), followed by the various customer testimonials (including actor and musician Jason Schwartzman), indicated that they may have exuded more than a hint of an unflatteringly, even off-putting, air of NYC hipster pretentiousness akin to that portrayed in the Nick Hornby book, Stephen Frears movie, and/or the new Hulu series (involving both Hornby and Frears): High Fidelity. However, there were clearly very good reasons for them to do this: They represented an extreme mishmash of strange characters who collectively embodied all the historically marginalized shapes, sizes, colors among other attributes that would not have been celebrated (or considered marketable) elsewhere. If they weren’t a little snooty, they probably would have been mocked entirely – as evidenced by an astute and pithy comment by a long-time store employee describing Animal Collective as appearing like a “sinister Fraggle Rock on acid.”

These artists never aspired to becoming real “rock stars” anyway – on the contrary, they embodied the antithesis of that concept. (A point made abundantly clear as they bookended the film with footage of ordinary musicians simply marching through the streets of NYC.) Literally, OM offered shelter to those of us who are able to truly appreciate the anthemic idea behind the phrase: “songs in the key of Z.” It was a place for gathering the outsiders among outsiders, in other words.

It is impossible to ignore various impressive personalities who made appearances throughout the film, in both large and small roles. This includes but is not limited to major NYC scene contributors such as Lizzy Goodman, author of the equally compelling and similarly themed book: Meet Me in the Bathroom: Rebirth and Rock’n Roll in New York City 2001-2011. Footage in the film included key figures in influential bands including: TV on the Radio, Le Tigre, The National, Vampire Weekend, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (all of whom are also featured in Goodman’s book). You can also see glimpses of varied lesser known, yet supremely compelling figures of that era, including writers Kandia Krazy Horse and Geeta Dayal, and former store employees such as Lisa Garrett and Gerald Hammill.

These conversations take place until we eventually witness the demise of Tower across the street (and its many ilk of like-minded big box stores) which clearly signaled the ever-looming end for Vanderloo and Madell’s opus-like enterprise. A point that musician Stephin Merritt, best known for so many stellar masterpieces with his longest-running outfit, The Magnetic Fields, emphasizes upon casually observing the degrading presence of a fitness studio franchise that has since taken up residence in the spot that used to house Tower’s second floor. (I failed to try and restrain myself from recalling a new sense of irony from the lyrical lines that Merritt himself had written and recorded around 1991: “Why do we still live here.. In this repulsive town? All our friends are in New York.”)

There is also a bit of an underlying insinuation only apparent from random customer shots throughout the store regarding a possible impact from the Rough Trade Records shop that had recently opened in Brooklyn around the time of OM’s closing. This is exceedingly apparent to this biased writer herself who personally ventured out to that Williamsburg location last year for an in-store performance with NYU Punk Professor, Vivien Goldman, who had just published her own book Revenge of the She Punks. An event whose audience clearly included some members of the OM community featured in this film as I recall the store had heavily lauded her Resolutionary compilation album release prior to its official closing.

As the film successfully affirms the significance behind record store culture (especially in a global hub like NYC) which has long been hailed as a sacred gathering space for various misfits and weirdos who might find significantly less understanding and/or productive social outlets in other circumstances; its unavoidable bittersweet conclusion dramatically asserts how disappointing it is for us to witness the complete loss in their consistently tenuous financial viability as we are well into the digital information age – if not for the simple fact that paying for music (or any kind of intellectual property) is more commonly perceived as an anachronistic practice which is a clear and painful affront to all the prescient creative geniuses who are struggling to make an honest living off their work.

The film highlights the many multifaceted aspects that we fondly and endearingly associate with the appreciation of music that lies at the heart of the irrational fervor behind record collecting culture: the smell of the vinyl itself, the enormous visual impact around the artists’ choices for cover art, the substantial weight it possesses when we remove it from the sleeve, the delicacy necessary to handle vinyl so as to minimize any potential damage, its often very limited quantities as it is not cost-efficient to produce (the obscurity is intrinsically part of the exhilaration surrounding this “hunt”) among other substantial inconveniences that more or less confirm this as an unproductive – if not entirely illogical – endeavor overall!

Of course, it has always been very apparent to us that we were engaged in some insanely addictive bizarre kinds of quests that kept leading us to this absurd little locale in the first place – desperately trying to pacify some nebulous and insatiable deep cravings that we couldn’t always articulate… yet it always kept us coming back for more! As Mac McCaughan from the bands Superchunk and Portastic, as well as co-owner of Merge Records, astutely concludes: “They knew what you wanted before you knew.” (Of course, they did!)

The overarching and staunch message of this film is most apparent during the final closing scenes when we are eavesdropping on a conversation that the former co-owner, Josh Madell, is having with his young daughter about simply streaming the Hamilton Soundtrack on Spotify because the vinyl copy would have cost her $90 in the store. Perhaps even more ironic, of course, might be suggested by the very relevant context in which we find ourselves today: the annual Record Store Day celebratory event with which the film’s re-release was planned to coincide obviously could not happen. As a result, I was reluctantly watching it, albeit self-consciously, on my 13” laptop screen in my home office during the self-quarantine of COVID-19. Half the proceeds for the “tickets” were to be used to support one of my favorite local record shops here in Denver, CO, Twist and Shout, who may or may not be able to reopen as this pandemic situation evolves.

There are bigger questions to contemplate as the tide of change has only just begun in ways that only a tragedy, such as a worldwide pandemic, can facilitate for even the most obstinate luddites who have no choice but to incorporate regular use of digital formats in their daily habits – and we totally have, of course! This documentary remains as unequivocal evidence of the viability behind OM as it stood as an historic cultural hub that transcended the fundamental premise behind a commercial retail outlet. (Even though retail was once considered the only aspect of the industry where substantial money could be made. In fact, a measure of an artists’ success was often the number of albums they actually sold.) As its impact clearly exceeds its impressive years as a store-front operated business, it may also indicate a shortcoming in mainstream outlets who tend to ignore, silence, dismiss, and otherwise relegate the disempowered voices in our community – which, of course, are the major reasons that forced us to seek out these alternate forums in the first place.

The role of arts and culture for society is in fact to provide the very same opportunities that OM offered to us, which is (to reiterate that point from above) to provide an opportunity for discourse that challenges our knowledge, expands our awareness, and promotes the discovery of the completely unknown (even uncomfortable) expressions. These conversations give our lives meaning and force us to continually improve ourselves on many levels. While such commentaries could be considered an acquired taste or even an entirely esoteric endeavor, the crucial sensibilities they offer hold enormous potential for a world that honestly seems to need to hear from us… now more than ever!

If only we could find a better way to invite the integration of our perspectives into the bigger conversations? So that we can participate in the innovations for the changed world that will be waiting for us – and to ensure that it will be a more inclusive place for all of us. Which is perhaps what we ultimately (and so desperately) need, want, and deserve. The alternatives seem frighteningly Orwellian… at the risk of seeming a bit histrionic.

http://www.factorytwentyfive.com/other-music/?fbclid=IwAR3wtvtOKKC46YmfwjB6zv0wp5GMh4YBHFuWk0aLOti5m2NSs8PFChjrK4M

[katiewattsart]

29/10/19 : TEDDY BOYS. HAUL GIRLS. #1

What are they? 

Teddy Boy: (in the 1950s) a young man of a subculture characterised by a style of dress based on Edwardian fashion (typically with drainpipe trousers, bootlace tie, and hair slicked up in a quiff) and a liking for rock-and-roll music.

Haul Girl: A girl or women who makes a haul video.

The revolution will not be televised. 

The tv shows you what it wants to show you.

Television tells us what the people who run the TV stations want us to know. But social media today sometimes provides an alternative.

Subculture - Under/Beneath 

We are looking today at youth and subcultures… their historicity and their contexts, and where we are with what might be called subcultures and youth cultures today.

GUIDE TO THE CULTS

A genuine piece from the mirror in the 1980s.

Sex Pistols : This is one of the most infamous moments on television. Today it seems tame, but in 1976 this was enough to get the presenter fired.

Like Duchamp's 'ready mades' - manufactured objects which qualified as art because he chose to call them such, the most unremarkable and inappropriate items - a pin, a plastic clothes peg, a television component, a razor blade, a tampon - could be brought within the province of punk (un)fashion...

Dick Hebdige - Subculture: The Meaning of Style

Hebdige’s book has long been consider the authorative text on subculture.

In the book he discusses the ready made aesthetics of punk. Punk was the first reaction to the developing politics of Thatcher and Reagan… here a refusal to take part in business as normal led to music that sounded amateur and fresh… the opposite of the progressive rock that had dominated the mid 1970s and early 80′s. 

Vivienne Westwood

Objects borrowed from the most sordid of contexts found a place in punks' ensembles; lavatory chains were draped in graceful arcs across chests in plastic bin liners. Safety pins were taken out of their domestic 'utility' context and worn as gruesome ornaments through the cheek, ear or lip...fragments of school uniform (white bri-nylon shirts, school ties) were symbolically defiled (the shirts covered in graffiti, or fake blood; the ties left undone) and juxtaposed against leather drains or shocking pink mohair tops.

Jamie Red and others made zines that could be assembled in this same way, collaging and making work that felt it could have been made in the house, and often was.

Subcultures

Subcultures are tribal, bringing people together to form loose relations outside of the mainstream.

Different subcultures:

Even subcultures have subcultures… specific types of goth (steampunk, lolita) rude boys, K Pop sub genres, grunge punk rock etc

Once about a specific youth culture movement based around the disco music of the 1970s, clubbing subculture developed into rave culture in the late 80s and 90s, and has become a mainstream movement in the last few years. 

Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore, Mark Leckey, 1999

“Something as trite and throwaway and exploitative as a jeans manufacturer can be taken by a group of people and made into something totemic, and powerful, and life-affirming.”

Subcultures are about a sense of belonging, often to people who feel excluded or disenfranchised from the mainstream.

Cosplay - form of subculture 

The Joker and Harlequin are both characters who live for misrule, and both of them come from characters in the commedia dell’arte.

Harlequin relates directly to Harley Quinn… the Lord of Misrule was the peasant who was given the task of making sure that Xmas revellers got very drunk and very naughty.

The World Turned Upside Down

These characters link back to the ideas of the carnival, a time when the world was turned upside down. Christmas was initialy this kind of festival. People didn’t know if they would make it through the winter, so they made merry whilst they could. In the carnival Kings become Jokers, Jokers became kings. 

Carnival extracts all individuals from non-carnival life, non-carnival states and because there are no hierarchical positions during carnival, ideologies which manifest the mind of individuals cannot exist.

...And finally in a few relatively rare instances, we find an extreme form of revelry in which the participants play-act at being precisely the opposite of what they really are; men act as women, women as men, kings as beggars, servants as masters, acolytes as bishops. In such situations of true orgy, normal life is played in  all manners of sins such as incest, adultery, transvestitism, sacri- lege, and lese-majeste treated as the order of the day...

Edmund R. Leach, Rethinking Anthropology

In Rabelais and His World (1965), Mikhail Bakhtin likens the carnivalesque to the type of activity that often takes place in the carnivals of popular culture. In the carnival, according to Bakhtin, social hierarchies of everyday life—their etiquettes, and normal structures—are turned on their head.

Court jesters become kings, kings become beggars; opposites are mingled (fact and fantasy, heaven and hell).

Drag Cultures

Much in the same way that Madonna, undeniable icon though she is, in no way invented voguing, neither did the queens on RuPaul’s Drag Race invent the concept of "shade", "realness" or any of the other essential sayings liberally adopted wholesale by the internet. But what the show has done is continually provide a potted queer history. Whether it’s through highlighting ball culture, trans activism, gender fluidity, or queens like the legendary Lady Bunny; or simply by allowing the contestants to talk about their lived experience, the show has put an all too rare slice of gay and trans history in American (and the world’s) living rooms and laptops.

Drag Race has brought a subculture into the mainstream. It has brought secret languages into modern parlay.

From RuPaul raising a pair of opera glasses to say archly, “I can’t wait to see how this pans out”, to season four queen Latrice Royale’s “the shaaaaade of it all”, social media’s gif game has been vastly bolstered by nine seasons of this show. A gif reaction needs to encapsulate maximum emotion, drama, and appearance – and the queens on Drag Race have all three in spades. Tumblr couldn’t create gifs fast enough in the early seasons, and the joy of so many strong characters, and sound-bites, means that there is a reaction for absolutely every occasion. Season 6 winner Bianca Del Rio named one of her world tours after her own much-gif’d catchphrase, “Not today Satan”.

Memes and online culture have helped the show become part of the everyday.

Historically, "sissy" has been used as an insult against feminine-seeming men. Ru-Paul’s Drag Race not only reclaims the word – “now sissy that walk” is the phrase said at the top of each catwalk, usually preceding a demonstration of almost gob-smacking creativity – but shows that adopting a truly feminine character requires massive amounts of charisma and self-confidence. The show is wildly popular with women, not simply because of the incredible looks and transformations served by each queen, but because it is a celebration of feminine mystique in all its forms.

It has helped reclaim a sense of agency in an era of toxic masculinity.

The little show that could has turned into a global behemoth, with tours around the world each year, and an annual convention in Los Angeles. Last year, a second US convention launched in New York, while London hosted the first European edition, DragWorld UK, which saw a number of the show’s queens and RuPaul’s right-hand judge, Michelle Visage, holding court. And as fabulous, glamorous and downright funny as the queens are, the real joy came from seeing the response of teenagers to meeting their idols. RuPaul and Visage are giving hope to lost kids around the world, whatever their gender, ethnic background or sexuality. By sharing their stories, the Drag Race contestants are giving comfort and inspiration to viewers, as well as swathes of entertainment.

The show has brought disenfranchised, often hidden cultures into the open. And given people something that not only entertains, but also empowers.

The difference between Drag Race US and Drag Race UK summed up in one perfect tweet…

With RuPaul’s Drag Race UK finally airing on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean, it’s got fans realising just how different the two editions of the show are… International fans were subjected to the colourful world of British slang and swear words, leaving dozens bemused about what exactly the UK queens are actually saying…. But in a viral tweet shared by one of the British queens, it’s managed to capture the crucial difference between the US and UK versions of Drag Race.

Sum Ting Wong shared a screenshot of a Facebook post that so beautifully sums up the two shows:

Pink News JOSH MILTON OCTOBER 8, 2019

Drag is culturally derived, and finds its forms based on local customs. In the UK drag has a relationship to Vaudeville and play, which means it does something different to the american show. It is less about the act of putting on a show, and more about the comedic, slightly catty relations that we have come to associate with saturday evening tv here in the UK.

But that doesn’t mean it is mean in itself… it still brings a subculture to a mainstream audience. Remember, if I talked about this with you in the 1990s, I would face prosecution under Section 28

"shall not intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality" or "promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship".

New Subcultures

‘It's hard not to be struck by the sensation that, emos and metalheads aside, what you might call the 20th-century idea of a youth subculture is now just outmoded. The internet doesn't spawn mass movements, bonded together by a shared taste in music, fashion and ownership of subcultural capital: it spawns brief, microcosmic ones.

In fact, the closest thing to the old model of a subculture I've come across is Helena and the haul girls. Their videos are about conspicuous consumption: a public display of their good taste, carefully assembled with precise attention to detail. When you put it like that they sound remarkably like mods.’

Alexis Petridis 

Marie Antoinette, 2006 (Sofia Copolla) 

[thesinglesjukebox]

BILLIE EILISH - BAD GUY

[6.93]

The Jukebox has thoughts on Billie Eilish? Well, duh.

Andy Hutchins: Nothing clicked for me with Billie Eilish until "Bad Guy." I understood the appeal intellectually, because it has sometimes been my wheelhouse: "Prodigy-cast makes off-kilter pop music from a perspective with more than a little precociousness and possibly a feminine spin that serves to disrupt rather than reify" is my jam for months at a time, sometimes. But some combination of prodigy and precociousness sometimes striking me as preciousness -- something that I've occasionally found issue with in the work of Sky Ferreira and Solange and Lorde and Cher Lloyd and fka twigs and Haim and Kacey Musgraves and Lana Del Rey and so many women who have occupied this same treacherous lane where deviating from delivering what is expected from a young woman making pop music can offend the sensibilities (or engage the biases) of even someone who has strained to stave off the stupidity of dismissing music made by young women and largely intended for young women -- and what I read as a deliberately dark and standoffish aesthetic put me off of Eilish, whose stuff just didn't compel me. Everything clicks for me with Billie Eilish now that I've heard "Bad Guy," which I reckon is pathetic on my part, because so much of the DNA of "Bad Guy" is in other work she's done that the things that differentiate it as The Hit and The Breakthrough come down to tempo and a kooky synth run in the hook that every third YouTube commenter thinks is stolen from Plants vs. Zombies. But "Bad Guy" is also an unassailable pop song and has come along at a time when bulletproof ones are not occupying the charts -- the closest competition in the current top 40 by my sight is, like, a Katy Perry song whose verses let down its magnificent hook, a bunch of drowsy-to-dire Khalid and Halsey tunes, a C- effort from Taylor Swift, and a microwaved Lizzo track that I've known of for a while and don't consider her best stuff -- and so it stands out even more from the pop metagame than the larger Eilish oeuvre does from a host of less realized tunes. And I'm a sucker for an unassailable pop song, especially one with a vocal initially delivered so low that it demands attention to the dial in the car but that is by turns brightly funny ("...duh!") and world-weary and campy to the hilt (the titular phrase being stretched to a titanium crocodile's rasp), a relentless bass line that sounds like a monster's heartbeat echoing in a cave, and lyrics that constitute a semi-sincere embrace of some Lolita tropes and a more powerful sarcastic destruction of them while somehow also being fully ready for Instagram captions and Twitter display names and ... well, no one's on Tumblr anymore. But that's hardly Billie's fault, and I'm not docking points for only barely failing to raise the dead with a virtuosic song that makes me this glad to be alive. [10]

Alfred Soto: There's a reason this song has become the breakout hit besides its insidious keyboard hook: Billie Eilish sings not mumbles the gender bending hook. Otherwise a ditty that the top 40 could use more of; its quietness is a tonic. [8]

Joshua Copperman: Sounds great, looks great (if possibly plagarized), memes great. The deadpan anti-sexuality of "might-seduce-your-dad type" is "Guys My Age" done right. The delivery of "my soul, so cynical" like even that is too earnest of a statement. The only weak part is the ending switch-up. But you knew all that already. Duh. Besides the cries of "industry plant!" there's also the ongoing sense that Eilish is a music writers' idea of what a 17-year-old Tumblr-born pop star would sound like. And sure, she's a young music writers' dream; I have a byline at Billboard because of her. But also, it's genuinely smart music that is mostly set to age well, even if it's hard to tell if it m a t t e r s. Who knows what 17-year-olds of any predilection towards seducing dads are actually listening to; I'm 21 and finding that out is only getting more difficult, if maybe not more necessary. If teens still control popular culture, if anyone does, who knows if this really does reflect them, or if its bottomless angst is mocked like Limp Bizkit? Is "Bad Guy" just "Heathens" for the late-2010s? Does this really represent the next generation? And which next generation; the shit-talking saviors, or the ones just like their parents and the radicalized alt-right kids? There's no easy answer to any of these, no "duh" to shrug them off. But there is Eilish and co. applying the daily grind of apocalyptic dread to smaller-scale topics. Processing death on "Bury a Friend," processing one's own body image on "idontwannabeyouanymore," processing changing gender roles here. Finding your place in 2019 is a lot for anyone. No one is getting it right. What Eilish does instead is turn that uncertainty to playfulness, confidently existing within the mess instead of trying to find her spot. [8]

Leah Isobel: I was on Tumblr in 2011, so "might seduce your dad type" doesn't feel as provocative as she might intend. (Also, Halsey did the exact same thing.) Besides, pop is a space for fantasy and role-playing, and she's not the first 16-year old bad girl to make adults freak out a little. What gets me is that the song itself is a brilliant production piece in search of an equally compelling melody; the biggest hooks here are an audible eye-roll and a Tim Burton rip. I love the idea of Billie as a goth-teen-pop star, and the choice to swerve into a spooky outro instead of a more traditional structure is genuinely a lot of fun, but this all feels like so much posturing -- normal for a teenager, but not that compelling to listen to on its own. [6]

Katherine St Asaph: If Billie Eilish is the Gen Z Fiona Apple, which I've heard from about three separate people even before the Discourse started, then "Bad Guy" is her "Criminal," down to it being creep flypaper. Everyone quotes that one dad line a bit too eagerly, like they're subconsciously thinking that if they have the pithiest take they just might get to be the dad. (It isn't even the most suggestive line.) There's a strong case for the dad being the bad guy, if only because he's, well, the guy. But "Bad Guy" lives in the world of teenage politics, where the guys just are and the girls get their badness thrust upon them, and their choices are to shrink away or play along. Duh. ("Bad Guy" : "duh" :: "Your Love Is My Drug" : "I like your beard.") But all this is pretty serious analysis for a fundamentally trolly song: half-mumbling the melody to a beat I'm pretty sure I made in a high school to go with a video project; rhyming bad/mad/sad/dad like a Mavis Beacon keyboarding tutorial (or whatever the kids have now; maybe they're just born typing); crooning an exceedingly Lana Del Rey-ish "I'm only good at being bad" then immediately cutting that crap for a bassy, fuck-off breakdown; filling only about 60% of the song with, like, song. [6]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Not the most impressive or cohesive Billie Eilish song, but it is the one most likely to remind you of how fun her music can be (that she included the Invisalign skit in the video helps). The coda is fine, but the best reversal is found elsewhere: the nonchalant cries of duh followed by a cartoonish synth melody, underlining just how playful the song's darker elements are. [6]

Josh Langhoff: Eilish sometimes sounds like the Cardigans if they only did Black Sabbath covers, "evil" squeezed between an extra set of scare quotes, and sometimes she's Nellie McKay on downers, ennui shaped like wit but without the laughs. Sometimes she's good and sometimes she sings ballads. And somehow that combination produced "Bad Guy," the elusive Somehow Perfect Pop Song That Sounds Like Nothing Else On The Radio. I can't say I love it, but all her murmuring and posturing makes Top 40 radio seem, after too many years, like a playground of endless possibility. What'd we do to deserve this and "Old Town Road"? [8]

Jessica Doyle: Yes. Some are red, and some are blue. Some are old, and some are new. Some are sad, and some are glad, and some are very, very bad. Why are they sad and glad and bad? I do not know. Go ask why that menacing bass and Eilish's whisper didn't deserve better lyrics. [4]

Tobi Tella: Billie Eilish's artistic direction and style of music makes it seem almost impossible for her to make a legitimate banger, but this fits in perfectly with the rest of her album tone-wise and also completely slaps. The simplicity of the production, literally created in a bedroom just adds to the perfect low-key vibe. The lyrics do make Billie sound a little like a teenager who will cringe reading them in 10 years, but as an 18 year old, sometimes doing stupid stuff you know is destructive and immature is FUN, and this completely captures that feeling. [8]

Will Adams: I love love love the idea of this shifty, close mic'd oddball dancepop song being as big of a mainstream hit as it is, even if it's one of the more slight offerings from the album. Extra point for the coda, where Billie drops the coy and reminds you how quick she is to put her foot on your neck. [7]

Pedro João Santos: The coda lamentably inverts the light heart of "Bad Guy": the colourful, whispered titillation conjugated with what's left unsaid, a sort of puerile pleasure dutifully translated by the Theremin-esque synths; not the heady, overlong consummation that it unfolds onto by the end. I must say I'm exhilarated that someone knew how to ape "Las de La Intuición" nearly 15 years on, although startled by the fact that it was Billie Eilish the one to do it. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: Done well, it's enjoyable to hear a musician having such fun, but especially so when one unexpected element of a song comes in to underline just how much fun they're having. In this case, it's the gloopy searchlight noise, playing out like the theme tune to a 1970s cop show set in space, in a way that cannot be anything but gleefully goofy. Such bold and playful invention is something pop music would suffer without. Extra points for the consideration to leave a gap before the outro so that radio stations can cut it out. [8]

Iris Xie: I still think this song should've been cut off at the 2:14 mark, because it said everything it needed to say. [5]

Katie Gill: That purposefully obnoxious "duh" sums up what Eilish wants to say more than the rest of the song combined (and is currently in the running for my favorite 2 seconds of 2019 pop music). This image of her as the bad guy isn't serious. It's bratty and playful, more her creating something she can have fun with instead of taking herself seriously. Unfortunately, that something interesting here is buried in a three minute piece that somehow manages to be three completely different songs which never actually coheres to a single whole. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[siobhaneardley]

The Blair Witch Project & Beyond: The Increasing Laziness of Found Footage Films.

The ‘Found Footage’ method of storytelling has been around for a good while now; dating back to, you guessed it the 19th century with novels such as Frankenstein and Dracula (there will come a day when I don’t mention Dracula in an essay on horror, but apparently today is not that day). These novels were often written in a diary format, or composed of letters that have been compiled by the author.

The Blair Witch Project is perhaps the most famous film in the medium, due to its being a cultural phenomenon back in 1999 when it was first released, and it was the first big success of a film of its nature. And is still notirous to this day, having a few of the most famous words in horror history: 

Although many may think that it was the first of its kind, the found footage format of filmmaking has its roots in 1980 with the release of “one of the most controversial films ever made”, Ruggero Deodato’s Cannibal Holocaust. The film follows an anthropologist on a rescue mission to find a film crew who venture into the Amazon to film indigenous tribes. Monroe, the anthropologist, finds the footage the dead crew shot, and it is presented as if we are watching it as Monroe is. Now, I will admit by description is rather vague as I did attempt to watch the film, but I honestly couldn’t make it through because there are scenes that are just too graphic for me.

The film has perhaps the most extensive disclaimer I have ever seen:

“The following motion picture contains intense scenes of extreme violence and cruelty. As distributors of this film, we wish to state with absolute sincerity that by no means do we condone the artistic decisions employed by the makers of this film. However, as firm believers in the constitutional right of free speech, we do not believe in censorship.

Therefore, we are presenting Cannibal Holocaust for the very first time in its uncut uncensored original form, with all sequences photographed by the filmmakers however offensive and repugnant, presented fully intact. What you will see will definitely shock and offend you. Nonetheless, it should be viewed as a disturbing historical document of a bygone era of extreme irresponsibility which no longer exists and hopefully with never exist again”

Initially the phrase ‘definitely shock and offend you’ did make me scoff, because I honestly thought that a horror film made in 1980 would be a walk in the park. Boy, was I wrong. Do yourself a favour and just don’t bother watching this film. I can handle pretty much anything, but this film contains scenes of violent rape and murder, and live killing of animals. It is honestly not worth it, as the reast of the film isn’t that great, the acting is pretty terrible.

Anyway, back to it. Cannibal Holocaust was such a controversial release at the time, because of the sheer explicitness of the film, and because everyone thought it was real. So real that the director was arrested on charges of obscenity and then murder, as the director told the actors to go into hiding a year after the film was released to create authenticity, as soon as the actors resurfaced to give testimony, the charges were dropped, but he was still fined for charges of animal cruelty.

Before The Blair Witch Project there were only eight films of its kind made, after it’s release in 1999, there have been around 150, that’s 150 in the space of nearly 20 years. What made The Blair Witch Project so successful that is inspired so many more filmmakers to create similar found footage films? 

This notion of the authenticity of found footage films is perhaps its biggest draw and the most masterful example of creating an authentic narrative is The Blair Witch Project. The films genesis lies in 1993 when the directors Eduardo Sánchez and Daniel Myrick discovered that some paranormal investigative documentaries were often scarier than fictional horror films, and got to work on the film, initially creating the mythology that would be the basis for the ‘documentary’.

Set in Burkettsville, Maryland, formerly ‘Blair’ the mythology is based on a witch who was murdered by the townspeople, her spirit supposedly continues to haunt the woods surrounding the town, causing the deaths of numerous people from the town.

Heather, Josh and Mike, the three students featured in the film set out to the woods to film a documentary about the Blair Witch, after two days they get lost in the woods leading to them supposedly dying at the hands of the witch, however the ending is left purposefully ambiguous, showing no deaths on screen. However, the events that occur in the last 10 minutes suggest the death of the filmmakers, due to our knowledge of the mythology of the witch.

This mythology is fleshed out even more in the mockumentary that was made by Sánchez and Myrick, and subsequently premiered on the Sci-Fi channel before the film was due to be released. The mockumentary delves deep into the story of the witch, but also contains interviews with the missing student’s family and friends. If this wasn’t enough, there was also a website made providing all these details, with even more pictures of the evidence found with the footage shown in the film, therefore, “The Blair Witch Project does not begin and end with the theatre release; the film is a piece of a broader narrative” (Keller, 72). The website and documentary were so successful that an ex Maryland police officer offered to help in the search for the lost students. Which was only exemplified by the actors being listed as deceased on IMDB.

With the mythology set, the authenticity of the film does not stop there. The shoot in the woods lasted eight days, in which the three actors were pretty much left to their own devices. There was no script written for the film, just a guideline of the basic narrative. Each day the actors would leave the film rolls in a set location found of the GPS by the rest of the crew, and they would be left with food and very small amounts of direction. 

Myrick the co-director describes the film as “not like a normal film: the actors would work the cameras, film each other all the time” they only intervened if they felt they needed to tone it down and when they needed to create the nighttime scenes in which they would shake the tent make creepy noises. Keller suggests that “within the semiotics of the film, the same unstrady images that reveal the presence of the camera also suggests ‘reality television’, a genre of film that lacks the polish of cinematic realism, but signifies the authenticity of the events depicted” (74). 

The aftermath of all this hard work, left cinema viewers stunned by the film, and had them asking, was it all real? It must be there was so much evidence to suggest so, back in the day, if there were official websites on the internet, then it must be true. However nowadays we have learned our lesson and try not to believe everything we see online.  

For me, I watched the film not really believing it was true, but it’s the notion that it might be legitimate that makes the experience so exciting when watching it for the first time. It’s all part of the experience and is a large factor in its success with audiences. Sadly, in 2018, when you do your research, it is very clear it was a fabrication; made all clearer by the sequel Blair Witch released in 2016…but we shall get back to that.

In the (nearly) 20 years since The Blair Witch Project, there have been a plethora of found footage movies, most are horror films, the odd one goes into the realms of science fiction, superhero films and even comedy. Arguably the most famous/successful are films such as Paranormal Activity, [REC] and Cloverfield.

Paranormal Activity kept the tradition of The Blair Witch Project alive by pushing the idea that the footage found features the deceased and could potentially be showing real life events. Cloverfield does suggest this, but the thing that draws the viewer away from the feeling of ‘real life events’ when a giant monster starts crashing through New York, which, we as viewers obviously know did not happen. I am not critiquing Cloverfield at all, as it is simply taking the genre further by exploring different narratives. Paranormal Activity however, I will nitpick (even though I love it).

Paranormal Activity begins like The Blair Witch Project with a disclaimer:

“Paramount pictures would like to thank the families of Micah Sloat and Katie Featherson and the San Diego Police Department”

From the beginning of the film, you expect a Blair Witch Project-esque film, which in some respects, it is, and does it relatively well. However, my issue lies with the lack of effort that is made to make the events seem as ‘real’ as possible. There is little background information relating to apparent events I mean, it would have been cool to list the actors as dead. But I guess the internet must be to blame for this, we are so god at squeezing out information that it would probably seem like a cheap marketing trick to attempt what Blair Witch Project The did.

But, I mean sometimes, they didn’t even try. Like it was common knowledge that there were multiple endings…which makes no sense if it was a ‘found footage’ film. How can they die in two different ways? It immediately takes you out of the ‘real’ world of the film.

Sequels are also a glaringly obvious issue with attempting to carry on the façade. A mere three years after the original film, Paranormal Activity 2 was released. Now, the illusion is broken well and truly, because we then question the chances of someone else connected to filming the events that are linked to the original film; and lemme tell you the far-fetched narratives that are in place so that they can have the excuse of calling it found footage. The first made sense, the second was a bit of a stretch, the third, a little bit more so apart from the fact that they had to change the VHS tapes every, like 8 hours or something silly, the fourth again, is a massive stretch. But, I mean they are still quite scary, one moment in the third one made me well up it creeped me out so much, so I guess they did the job there. I could write so much more about the Paranormal Activity films, that’s for another time, perhaps...

I mentioned the 2016 sequel to The Blair Witch Project, simply entitled Blair Witch earlier. Now, I was legitimately excited for this, I thought, hey, what could go wrong. They could perhaps learn from how great the first film was … but alas, it was not to be. Blair Witch follows Heather’s brother, 20 years after her disappearance. He heads off into the same woods to see if he can find her, because he is convinced that she is still alive in the house. He has a bigger camera crew and has two weirdo locals with him as well.

Now my first big gripe was that the camera continuation was completely off, but I now know that the crew have camera earpieces… which I didn’t even notice, but surely if it was on your ear, like your cheek would get massively in the way.

For me the film failed to capture the sense of desperation that flows through the original. It was down to complete laziness from the directors, to even make it seem the slightest bit authentic. The ear piece cameras and the GoPro are so unbelievably HD and graded, the script is just terrible, the actors are equally bad. You can tell that they had a film crew with them the whole time. Also…they didn’t even bother to shoot it in the same location as the original, it is glaringly obvious that the terrain is in a completely different country.

So we have this:

Versus this: 

Another massive break from the original was that they showed the damn witch and added to the narrative of what happens to you when you encounter her. The mystery has totally ruined and feels a lot more fabricated because elements of the supernatural are shown on the footage.

...... ugh. 

What annoys me most is that they had so much time to think it through and create something that, wasn’t exactly the same (because that would be pointless), but carried on the legacy rather than being tremendously lazy. I mean, the budget for Blair Witch was $5 million in comparison to the modest $60,000 that the original film had. You can see the budget all over the new film, it just looks far too flashy and is another in a long like of below par found footage movies, I mean, they even had a full on premier with all the actors, there was no effort to even let the audience pretend to believe it was real. And to be honest its link to the original just places the original further into fiction.

Most modern found footage films have gone down the route that Blair Witch did, films like As Above, So Below being one of them, which contains so much supernatural stuff that it is so unbeleivable. The biggest rule in this type of horror, for me is don’t show, dont even tell, just leave it to our imaginations, becuse often that is the scariest thing. 

 By Siobhan Eardley. 

 Works Cited:

Deodato, Ruggero. (Dir). Cannibal Holocaust (1980).[YouTube].

Hoad, Phil. “How We Made The Blair Witch Project.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 21 May 2018. Web. 

  Keller, James. “‘Nothing That Is Not There, and the Nothing That Is’: Language and The Blair Witch Phenomenon.” Studies in Popular Culture, vol. 22, no. 3, Apr. 2000. Web. 

Peli, Oren. (Dir). Paranormal Activity (2007).[Netflix]. 

Rose, Steve. “Cannibal Holocaust: 'Keep Filming! Kill More People!'.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 15 Sept. 2011, www.theguardian.com/film/2011/sep/15/cannibal-holocaust.

Sánchez, Eduardo and Daniel Myrick. (Director). Curse of the Blair Witch (1999). [DVD].

 Sánchez, Eduardo and Daniel Myrick. (Dir). The Blair Witch Project (1999). [DVD]. 

Wingard, Adam. (Dir). Blair Witch (2016) [Netflx].