#the way i actually screamed at the airplane scene......GIRL

[hayaku14]

I can't believe that just listening to the wall that separates us is what it takes to pull me back into miraculous ladybug lmao I finally caught up and binged watch the latter part of S4 and the entire s5 and what the FUUUUCK I fucking hate this show where's the next season please

[kittentf]

As a teen, I was sometimes asked to ref for our local youth soccer league. Just on days when we didn't have enough refs to cover all the games happening at the same time. They'd always put us (any teens) with the littlest kids. The idea was that there wouldn't be as much conflict when it's only 5 or 6 year-olds playing. After all you just need to stop them from using their hands on the ball and try to keep them on task instead of pulling grass or goofing off.

(Picture your favorite hysterical laughing gif here)

Let's set the scene, shall we. On the playing field, there's a cluster of kids gathered around the ball kicking at it, only a few actually succeeding. A couple of kids are pulling up handfuls of grass and throwing them in the air. While a couple more are running around pretending to be airplanes near the goals. Typical chaos for kindergartens. My fellow ref and I, both teenage girls, decided to divide the tasks. I'd worry about the kids going after the ball (let's be honest they can't kick it far), and she'd worry about getting the other kids on task.

We're maybe 5 minutes into the game when That Parent TM decides to make their presence known (cue boss music). Apparently, his son, who is, of course, a prodigy that will no doubt get a full ride scholarship and have a pro career, needs the other kids to get out if the way and so he can show them how it's done. He was screaming that the coach was biased and not giving him enough playing time and for the son to get the ball. Only his version had an equal number of cuss and age appropriate words in it. Again, we are maybe 5 minutes into the game, and his child is, glances over my shoulder, now eating the grass he was pulling up a moment ago.

Since the coaches and the refs weren't going to do anything, I think he expected us to hand his kid the ball or something, he decided to take matters into his own hands and walked out onto the field towards his kid. At that point, I blew my whistle and got in front of him. I started off polite, then he started cussing and screaming at me, so I yellow carded him and explained that if he continued, he'd be asked to leave. Cue using his size to try to intimidate me, not entirely too hard as I barely came up to his shoulder and was half his weight. He demanded to know how I was going to accomplish that. You could practically hear the 'you and what army' that his inner ten yr old wanted to shout. Despite putting myself in this situation, I'm not stupid. I simply pointed out that at least half the coaches and all the adult refs there that day were first responders and more than willing to help. He thought for a second and responded with impeccable asshole logic. "I'll snap your neck before they get over here. Then they can watch while I beat your corpse." (If any of you have been wondering why this is such a vivid memory, here's your answer.) I wish I could say it was entirely my bravado and belief in my teenage immortality that made me respond by asking if he'd ever been kicked in the nuts with cleats before. But in truth, it was the several other pissed off dads coming to back me up that made it possible.

Luckily, the coaches had taken the kids to the other side of the field while I dealt with this. Since there were several fields and games going, I'm hoping that the sound of his threats was drowned out. The other dads talked him down, but not before he took a few swings at them. Apparently, I had to forgive him as he was drunk (at 10:30 in the morning, on a Saturday), and he'd had a long week.

This happened a couple of decades ago. Yes, I know I'm old. Yet it's nothing compared to the shit I hear at my nibblings' hockey games. I've heard parents encourage their kids to put other 9 yrs olds in the hospital to take them out of the game. State they are going to beat the shit out of the players' parents to teach them their place. Even threaten to pull a 7 yr old female goalie's pants down to prove she's older than is claimed.

All this to say, Bob was definitely killed over some stupid shit at a game.

Lovely sentiment but the way it’s worded sounds like this dude got fucking killed during a little league game

[impactmintsfresh]

Home for the Holidays

Steve picks his little girl up from the airport for the holiday - this started because I watched Love Actually so it has to kick off with an airport scene right

Since you were going to be spending all December in America you had flown back to England to see friends and family, Steve had come with you then but due to an Avengers level threat he'd left again not long after. It had been a few weeks since you'd seen him and now you were practically vibrating in your seat as the seatbelt sign lit up. Or that may have been the copious amounts of sugary drinks you'd had.

Your seat was in first class, and soon as you realised you didn't have to pay the stupid prices and your Daddy was no where to be seen you had been throwing back coke and packets of M&Ms. Giggling to yourself you hoped Steve wouldn't notice. Or at least that he would be too overjoyed to see you that you didn't get punished for breaking the 'ask Daddy if you want sweeties' rule. 

The flight had been smooth thankfully, you weren't a particularly nervous flyer but bad turbulence can freak anyone out. You put your seatbelt on, returned your seat to its upright position and tried to calm your nerves about seeing Steve again. It was silly but a small part of you worried he wouldn't be there when you came through the gates. Maybe there was another threat, or he forgot. Your phone was still on airplane mode so you couldn't see all the texts and messages from Steve wishing you a safe flight and rambling about how excited he was to see you.

"You alright hunny?" The air hostess asked you. She had been the one keeping you topped up on sugar all 11 hours. You gave her a nod and your best brave smile. "Alright, but just in case your ears pop." She handed you another sweetie, this time a hard candy. Your Daddy would be losing his mind about taking candy from strangers, the idea of Steve fighting the woman made you giggle again. You thanked her and the plan began to land. 

The plane landed without any issues and you quickly grabbed your bag from the storage above. You knew it was a little rude but you couldn't help pushing past everyone to get to the front by the door.  As the doors opened the air hostess thanked you each for flying but you were already gone, "Merry Christmas" you screamed running down the corridor.

Security was a nightmare, the stupid guard kept asking about your business in America, and when you told him where you were staying he almost detained you. Thankfully as he started typing into his system, his phone rang.

The guards face paled and you were waved through with no more issues. You would get Tony an extra special present this year, or Pep. or Jarvis? Hard to tell who was working behind the scenes sometimes.

Waiting for your suitcases felt longer than the flight! You were bouncing on your toes as everyone else's suitcases came round several times before yours did. "Come on, come on" you were muttering to yourself, edging closer and closer to the carousel. 

Finally they arrived, plain black but covered in stickers from your travels with Steve. Finally, you made to grab them. Suddenly someone else's hands were in the way, "let me help with that?"

You turned to look at the guy who had just taken your case for you. He was around your age, preppy, and looking far too smug. You didn't like him. "No." You turned and grabbed the second case and started to push them away.

"Aw come on, not even a thank you? Those look heavy, want a hand pushing them?" Your mood was quickly turning, and you knew you needed to deal with this here and now or Steve would deal with it. 

"No, if I have to tell you again I will call security." His face scrunched up slightly.

"I was just being nice, don't need to be a bitch." He walked off and you tried to feel better, but you were close to crying. Why are people so rude!

Taking a deep breath you started to walk towards the gate, through those doors was your Daddy and everything would be better once you were in his arms. Thoughts started to creep in, 'what if he isn't there?', 'what if he forgot about you?'. You refused to cry and kept pushing your suitcases forward. One foot in front of the other. 

--

Steve had been checking your flight details constantly since you set off from Gatwick. He knew the exact time expected to get through customs and collect bags before you should be walking through those doors. 

His hands gripped the stupid sign he was holding and the stuffed bear nervously. If you weren't there in the next two minutes he was going through and finding you himself. He held back from having Tony find you on the security cameras, but only just. 

The sign had been Peter's idea. He said you would find it funny. Steve was currently in a black tux with a driver cap on, holding a sign with your last name. The bear he had gotten you was in a matching outfit. He felt incredibly stupid. 

One minute and seventeen seconds. 

--

Finally you made it to the other side of the door, you kept walking scanning the crowd for Steve but couldn't see him. Tears started to gather in your eyes, when you looked again you saw a sign with your name. Your heart fell, something must have come up and he sent someone to get you. 

You walked with your head down towards the man.

"I'll be honest, I thought you'd be happier to see me." The man chuckled nervously.

Your head shot up and the tears fell. "STEVE!" You jumped on to him, wrapping your legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He really laughed now and held onto you.

"Hey baby." He kissed the side of your face as best he could with you buried in his neck.

"Thought you forgot." He just about heard you, with your face muffled. 

"I haven't thought about anything but this moment since I left London." You squeezed him tighter wishing the tears would stop, but you were so overwhelmed. 

After a few minutes to collect yourself you let go of Steve. 

"Why are you dressed like this?" You could feel yourself just on the edge of being little but hoped you didn't slip before you were alone. 

"Peter thought it would be funny." You smiled as Steve took off the cap and put it on your head.

"I got you this as well baby." Your mouth opened slightly at the soft teddy dressed like your Daddy. He was so soft!

After that Steve grabbed your suitcases in one hand and you with the other, walking you towards the car. He could see you were slipping into your little headspace and that you wouldn't be comfortable later if you knew it had happened in such a public place. 

--

"There's an advent calendar waiting for you at home, but I think you can skip December 1st don't you?"

"Why?" You were confused, had you been bad already?

"I think someone has already had too many candies today, hmm?" Your eyes went wide.

"Whoa, how did you know?" Too little to even deny what had happened on the plane.

"Daddy always knows princess, it's my job." You giggled and the hand he wasn't steering with.

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

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the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

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me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

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okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

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so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

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okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )

[milkteahood]

Hello! I've been thinking about this for a whole week and I need to get it off my chest or I'll explode. This might be worded strangely because I can't explain it, only imagine it so I'll try my best. 😊

After the whole killing Miranda thing, Karl and his s/o move away from Romania, and after taking some time adjusting to their new life, have a baby. Now, I headcanon that Karl is afraid of going to the doctor because of Miranda's past experiments on him, and is especially deathly afraid of needles. Him using them on other people? That's just fine. But when it's pointed at him? Someone's gonna get hurt and it's not gonna be him.

So when his precious little ray of sunshine has to get their first vaccine shots, he's a nervous wreck, almost as if he was the one getting poked at, but tries to hide it. He knew it was good for his baby's health and he wants nothing more, but why did it have to be through painful shots? How is there not vaccine juice they can drink instead, dammit?! Obviously his s/o can tell he's getting worked up; he's tapping his foot, cooing at their baby to keep himself distracted, snuggling them close to his chest, almost like he's protecting them from the doctor's and their scary needles. His s/o tries to distract and calm him as their baby babbles happily in his arms.

The nurse comes in and Karl immediately goes into full Dad Mode™. Have you ever seen the cute video of the dad who's scared of needles comforting his baby son while he gets his shots? This one -> https://youtu.be/lqAUMsqiFxI (I hope that actually leads to the video), I think that's how he'd act. He's not even thinking about how he looks, he probably looks ridiculous but that's in the very back of his mind. His only thoughts are about protecting his baby from any and all pain, so he doesn't really care, as he cradles them and rambles non-stop encouragement and praise, not leaving their side for a second. When the nurse is done, Karl immediately scoops the baby up, seemingly more relieved than they were, holding them close and cooing about how strong they are.

His s/o would've chuckled a bit in wholehearted amusement at his heartwarming scene in the doctor's office, but the display of their lover and baby was just too cute and they didn't want to break Karl out of whatever protective instincts he was under. During the pregnancy, he was so scared that the persistant thoughts telling him that he will be a horrible father would be true, but, even if Karl himself didn't see it yet, his s/o knew their baby was safe being watched by his loving eyes and cradled in his protective arms.

I couldn’t open the link, but I can still imagine how that would go, so I hope you like this 💕

“My love, it’s just a vaccine” Y/N told Karl

“But it’s gonna hurt! I know it will! People used to scream when I did anything to them!”

“That’s because you used to do experiments on them. This is a vaccine. It’s completely safe”

Karl would not bulge. He knew the vaccine was mandatory, but he couldn’t see his princess go through anything inconvenient. They have been waiting outside the doctor’s office, ready to be called in any minute. His daughter was playing with one of the buttons from his coat, giggling and nibbling on it.

Some children would cry while getting their vaccine, which would freak Karl would even more. No matter how much his wife tried fo reassure him, he still tried to convince her to leave. He tried his best to stay calm, sometimes wishing he’d have his daughter’s chill. She did not care, too focused on ripping off that button. But Karl cared. Flashbacks of Miranda’s experiments came to him.

Him as a child, tied to a table while Miranda stung him with yet another needle. He never knew what was inside them until it was too late. He remembers screaming and crying, begging Miranda to stop. Telling her that it hurts. That he can’t take it anymore. But she never stopped. She always used to call him her brave son. And now, whenever he’d accidentally sting himself while working, he would flip the whole room. There was a particular fear rooted in trauma he couldn’t get over. His wife placed her palm on his knee, when she noticed he was tapping his foot.

She knew about his fears and traumas all too well. Y/N has been the first and only person he has even opened up to. She also knew he loved getting his hair played with when stressed. Looking down she noticed he was holding their daughter very protectively, and deep down, she hoped her child wouldn’t cry, for if she did, Karl would destroy the entire hospital.

The baby was looking up at her father curiosity. She was yet to discover why he wasn’t happy at the moment. When she frowned at him, Karl got stopped in his tracks.

“Why is she doing that?”

“Because she can sense how uneasy you’re feeling” his wife chuckled.

Some relief washed over him at that. He has always been scared of being a terrible father. For a moment there he thought his daughter hated him. Some forehead kisses later, and his daughter was a giggling mess once more. That eased Karl’s stress, and he began playing with her in an attempt to distract himself.

At some point he stood up and started playing airplane with her. The parents around found it endearing. Everyone thought he was being so considerate, not wanting his daughter to get scared, but in truth, he was the one that was scared. His daughter was happy, and that’s all that mattered. But he knew it wouldn’t last long. He knew the nurse could come out any second to call them in. And he was right, for it didn’t take long before he heard her call “Mr and Mrs Heisenberg? Please come inside”.

Karl shot another desperate look to his wife, hoping they would just leave. It was not too late yet. They could just walk out. What would the doctor even do? No one ever dared stand up to Karl. Well, except one particular person that kicked his ass, but that’s another story for another time.

As they walked inside, Karl was holding their daughter and his wife could easily sense he is feeling nervous. The doctor has been nothing but kind, reassuring Karl’s wife that fathers are usually the sensitive ones about this. In an attempt to make them laugh, by cracking a few jokes, the doctor earned a giggle from the little one. Karl, who was ready to throw that person out the window the second they came near with the needle, smiled. He smiled at his daughter smiling, and he smiled at the doctor for getting that out of her.

“You seem nice. Why are children crying?” Karl asked a little skeptical

“Well, the sting does hurt a little. And they’re children, not only it hurts, they also sense their parents’ discomfort. It’s a lot to take it for a baby, but it goes away rather quickly” the doctor explained

Karl did not like the doctor mentioning pain one bit. He was now even more reluctant to give them his daughter. But he had to and his wife was encouraging him to. She has always been supportive of him and she was doing a great job at being the emotional support Karl desperately needed.

When the doctor prepared the shot, and proceeded to approach, Karl froze up in place, and his wife needed to rub his back and reassure him that she’s right there and she’s not going anywhere. He couldn’t take his eyes away from the needle. His entire body was screaming at him to do something. The only constant thing was his wife’s palm on his back. Up and down, then kissing his shoulder.

He was broken away from his trance when he heard his baby girl cry. He was about to rip the doctor in half, before his wife stopped him.

“And that’s all!” the doctor said, cold sweat breaking as they made eye contact with Karl.

“Oh thank you so much” Karl’s wife hurried to say before dragging her husband out. She knew any more minute spent in there and Karl would totally kill the doctor.

Karl easily managed to get his daughter to stop crying, but his wife had to do a lot of convincing for her husband not to resort to murder. In the end she ended up calming him down by holding his hand on their way back home, with the occasional cheek kiss.

[renxzs]

I’m so soft for Aelin’s hand squeezing, and Rowan squeezing right back for comfort and reassurance. 🥺😭 pleaseeee my babies, get back to this asap. Fucking love each other and hold hands and kiss and maybe make Maisie siblings, idk!!

Maria!! This appointment scene is so sweet, I want to cry. The tenderness between them when hearing baby’s heartbeat for the first time nearly took me out!!! It’s so adorable and cute and heartwarming… but like, it also makes my heart ache quite a bit to know what they could have been. To see how they could have been treating each other all this time. 😔😭���

"I'm just really, really happy." 😭😭 sweet baby!!!!!

“I'm just very filled with hormones. And proud that my girl is a womb athlete or something." Ahahahah I love her so fucking much. 😂

STOP. That kiss!!!!! This time you really did take me out. I will be writing the rest of this reblog from the grave.. But I’m screaming!!!! That was such a perfect moment, and they want it so bad—to want each other and to be together. These dumb idiots. They do the non-talking parts so well, ugh. Just gotta get the actual communicating part down and they’ll be golden!!

He broke the kiss, smiling a breath away from her lips and stroking her hair as if it gave him life. // At that moment, in the little room with artificial ambience they were in, it felt like pure sunshine. - BEAUTIFUL. PERFECT. IN LOVE. HAPPY. MY HEART. I’m living for this. 🥹🤍🤍

I swear to god these two were in love in the past and I will accept no other alternative. And with this being the case, WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM TO MAKE THEM FIGHT SO HATEFULLY AND OFTEN IN THE PRESENT?? 😭😭😭 Maisie and I need our parents back together PLEASE.

"I mean it. We'll spot the queen of the soccer moms and destroy her. Whatever snacks she brings, we'll bring better. However blond she is, we're blonder. We'll rattle the stars." AHAHA. Rowan 😂 nothing but the best for HIS QUEEN.

“No, I’m kicking the ball.” 🤣🤣 this family, man. Cracking me up this morning lolol.

Not Aelin groaning and Rowan pinching the bridge of his nose when Maisie stopped to watch an airplane fly by 😂💀😂💀 they are THOSE parents for sure. God, Maria—they way you are delivering in this chapter!!!!

GOAALLLL. I’m here for Maisie’s extremely low investment in this game though 😂 Aelin was right. She has an artist’s soul. Baby girl does not care about being on that soccer field, lmao.

Lysandra!! 🥰 But wait… her son has auburn hair?? I- nooo. Please, say it isn’t so… 🫢😟

👏🏼👏🏼 look at our girl go, continuing to set her boundaries. “Tell me tomorrow.” Ugh, I love her so much.

And I love THIS CHAPTER so much!!! They are continuing to make little progress and it’s so exciting to watch happen. Seeing them come together for Maisie and watch a whole chaotic prek soccer game without one single fight was amazing!!!! So proud of them!!!! And the birthday chapter is coming up soon and I can’t wait for the prompt it got!!!! *screams*

I loved this so much, Maria. I can’t even put it into adequate words. The serotonin rush this gave me- ☺️💚

Look at Us Now — Ch. 8

Fic masterlist

I’m sorry, Maria can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because until Sunday you’ll be talking to Beach Maria! And Beach Maria absolutely hates angst.

Warnings: language, very light nsfw

Words: 2k (yes I know there’s no consistency here but I’m having fun and we never judge when the writer is having fun)

Aelin was so used to the sterile smell of antiseptics, soaps and cleaners from the hospital, but it was making her nervous today.

A rush went through her spine when Dr. Hafiza spread an ice-cold gel on her barely-there bump, and she absentmindedly squeezed Rowan’s hand. If Aelin didn’t know better, she’d think her heartbeat was so strong it’d be impossible to hear the baby’s. He squeezed her hand back, tearing his eyes away from her stomach to past on a reassuring smile for her.

Rowan seemed calm and put together for their appointment with Dr. Hafiza, the only telltale signs of his nerves being the million questions and fact-checking he asked the doctor, and the way he’d been fiddling with Aelin’s hand from the moment she reached out to hold his.

“There it is,” the doctor said, and her head snapped to the TV in front of her.

Aelin was smiling so much her cheeks hurt. Her little bean didn’t look like a bean at all. It took her breath away, how this tiny person, with little limbs and everything, was taking room inside of her.

“Are you ready for the heartbeat?” Dr. Hafiza asked.

A second after they eagerly nodded, that tiny human’s heartbeat boomed through the room, making Aelin’s heart race as well.

Hafiza chuckled. “That’s a strong one.”

Rowan’s eyes snapped to hers. “That’s good, right?”

She gave him a fond smile. “She’s just very active, but things are looking good so far.”

It was beautiful, the way his face morphed from a dumbfounded gape to the biggest grin she’s ever seen from him yet. It lit his whole face up, crinkling the corners of mouth and eyes. Rowan caressed her head, eyes deep into hers, and her whole body tingled. Scalp, spine, stomach, everywhere.

“Do you want me to tell you the gender?” The doctor asked.

“Yes,” Aelin blurted before Rowan could open his mouth.

His eyes widened, a surprised smile on his face at her eagerness, and he nodded to the doctor.

“Great. It’s still a little early, but I can already see that…” She took a second to double-check. “It’s a girl.”

Aelin froze, her whole world narrowing down to those words.

She was having a little girl.

Aelin looked at Rowan, but his face was blurred due to her unshed tears. Aelin blinked, releasing them.

“Are you alright?”

“I’ll give you guys a moment,” Hafiza said before exiting the room.

Rowan was studying her expression, trying and failing to clamp down his smile for her sake.

“It’s perfect.” Aelin swiped some tears off her face. “I’m just really, really happy.”

His grin broke free once again, while he placed a strand of Aelin’s hair behind her ear. ”I thought you didn’t care about the gender.”

“I don’t. I’m just very filled with hormones. And proud that my girl is a womb athlete or something.”

Rowan snorted at her joke. It was true, the baby couldn’t sit still inside of her the whole time.

His pine green eyes had this loving, bright glow to them. Aelin couldn’t look away. By the looks of it, he couldn’t either.

It was like a game, the way their gaze would slip between each other’s eyes and lips. Aelin’s pulse got stronger each second she was the receiver of Rowan’s heated looks, but she shouldn’t.

It was their agreement, right? No fling, focus on the baby.

But Rowan agreed to it too, and here he was, leaning in and giving her the look that made her press her legs together.

With an erratic breathing and holding herself upright in that small cot with one hand, Aelin used the other to cup his jaw.

As if it was reflex, Rowan immediately pulled her closer and closed the distance between them.

Aelin melted under his touch, her whole body relaxing as he tasted her lips. His shaky hands moved from her torso to her neck, thumb stroking the place behind her ear and sending shivers down her spine. She grabbed him by the hair and tilted his head, deepening the kiss. Rowan’s tongue rolling over hers started a riot in the pit of her stomach, and not even his heavenly taste was enough to calm that feeling down.

He broke the kiss, smiling a breath away from her lips and stroking her hair as if it gave him life.

At that moment, in the little room with artificial ambience they were in, it felt like pure sunshine.

˜˜

“Why are you dressed like you’re going to the gym?” Rowan was at her living room’s door, head tilted as his gaze roamed through her, but Aelin wouldn’t do so much as blush or back down. She could live through his scrutinizing, judgy gaze.

Aelin held a finger up. “Not gym wear, sporty casual. It’s perfect soccer mom attire.”

Rowan chuckled, somehow finding this funny. ”You’re really serious about the soccer mom thing, aren’t you?”

Aelin glared at him.

“I saw the tiktoks you sent me. They’re like a grown-up version of a bad teen movie.”

She crossed her arms, squinting at him. ”And I’ll kill you if they’re true.”

“We’ll make you the queen of soccer moms.”

“Stop it.”

He leaned against the doorframe, smirking. “I mean it. We’ll spot the queen of the soccer moms and destroy her. Whatever snacks she brings, we’ll bring better. However blond she is, we’re blonder. We’ll rattle the stars.”

Aelin turned towards the hall so he wouldn’t see how hard she was fighting that smile. “Come on, Maisie! Your dad is here!”

After greeting his daughter, Rowan had one hand help up, waiting to high-five his little girl. “You’re going to kick everyone’s butts today, Mai.”

His daughter frowned. “No, I’m kicking the ball.”

Aelin didn’t fight her laughter this time.

˜˜

Today, Aelin thought her biggest challenge was going to be soccer momhood. She was wrong. Her biggest challenge was sitting still through this game.

Preschool soccer was absolute mayhem.

“TURN AROUND, MAIS.” Aelin frantically pointed at the ball. “GO!”

“Aelin.” Rowan’s tone was low and commanding. “Stop screaming.”

Maisie stopped running to look at her parents and sent a *thumbs up*.

“RUN!“ Aelin wouldn’t stop pointing at the ball. ”OVER THERE!”

“Aelin, the authority figure here is the coach. Stop barking orders.”

Sighing, she slumped back on the chair she brought. Aelin wanted to be a mom and let her daughter enjoy the game so badly, but the other, darker side of her was telling her to bark orders from the sidelines until her daughter crushed all of her ~~enemies~~ opponent playmates.

She could do this. This was about having fun, not winning.

Rowan wasn’t being as vocal, but he seemed to feel the same. His hand was covering his mouth as he paced around the sidelines, eyes watching Maisie and the ball like a hawk.

A plane flew by, and the little girl stopped running to watch it. Aelin groaned. Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose.

The coach was picking the kids up and rearranging them as if he was herding cats, and in one of those times he placed Maisie close to the ball and the goal.

Aelin got up. Her heart was nearly jumping out of her chest as she rubbed her hands against her thighs.

Rowan put a hand on her shoulder, but neither of them tore their eyes off Maisie kicking that ball. “Don’t scream. She’ll get distracted and look at us.”

Maisie got past two kids, not very well determined, but she was doing it. The opponents weren’t tough and the distance to the goal was really short, but Aelin’s heart was bursting with pride.

When Maisie finally scored that goal, their shouts were earth-shattering. It was like their daughter had won the World Cup herself.

Seeing their agitation, she went running her parent’s way. Faster than she was running to kick the ball, but Aelin was too happy to be upset about that.

“MOM! DAD! I FARTED WHEN I KICKED IT! IT WAS A FART KICK!”

Rowan’s eyes widened. He was never not surprised at his daughter’s bluntness. “Kids are so gross.”

Cackling, Aelin picked her little girl up, kissed her and passed her to Rowan so he could congratulate her too.

“Can I have a snack?”

“Maisie…” Rowan blinked, surprised. “The game isn’t over yet.”

Their daughter frowned.

Aelin crouched down. “If you focus on the game until it ends, your dad and I will take you to the ice cream shop after. How about that?”

Maisie eagerly nodded and ran back. Aelin thanked Mala Rowan didn’t complain about their sugary plans.

The kid probably felt like her duty was fulfilled after that goal, though, because now she was just running around a tree with an auburn-haired boy from the opposite team.

Rowan was trying to tell her to get back to the game, but Maisie just waved back. Her new friend was also good at ignoring his mom’s orders from the sidelines.

The woman Aelin assumed was Maisie’s new friend’s mom brought her chair next to Aelin’s. “Is that your kid over there?”

“That’s Maisie.” She snorted at her unruly daughter. “I’m Aelin.” She pointed at Rowan, who was still fretting over the game. “That’s Rowan, the dad.”

“Lysandra.” The woman shook Aelin’s hand and pointed at her son. “And Timmy. Timothy.”

“That’s a cute name.”

Lysandra grinned at her. “And you have a cute daughter.”

Both women just sat there, silently accepting everyone did their best, and now that the game was near its end, the kids just wanted to chase grasshoppers instead of the ball.

The sky was clear, Aelin loved how the sun felt against her skin, and she could hear her little girl’s squeals of delight while she played, even after the coach declared the game has ended.

She knew something was up when Rowan kept glancing her way, though.

Sighing, Aelin got up and went his way. “Spill.”

He focused his gaze on the field before them and acted like he hadn’t been sneaking looks at Aelin. “What do you mean?”

She rolled her eyes. “I can hear the engines inside your head working.”

He sent her an apologetic look. “Can we talk?”

“No.” Aelin’s voice was gentle, but firm.

It had been a good day. Great, even. Maisie was ecstatic. She knew from Rowan’s tone it was something they’d potentially argue about, and Aelin didn’t want to ruin today with one of their talks.

“Really?” His voice was surprised, probably because she never backed down from a fight with him.

Aelin’s gaze was on her daughter, lying on the grass and laughing with Timmy. “I already know we’ll have a fight about it, and I don’t want to discuss fightable topics in front of Maisie. This is a new boundary I’m setting.”

She couldn’t stop thinking about what he said in therapy, about reaching out all the time because he was thinking non-stop and fretting about things until he did. Part of her wanted to sit with him and hear what was going on inside his mind, but Aelin chose to listen to the part of her that told to stop engaging in a fight when Maisie was nearby. Even if it meant letting him slowly lose his mind due to uncertainty.

”Alright.” Rowan nodded, also looking away. “Can I just tell you what it is, and then we’ll talk later?”

She drew out a long breath. “Fine.”

Rowan gave her a tentative smile. “My parents are visiting for Maisie’s birthday week.”

She was always glad to give him extra days with Maisie so their baby could have fun with her grandparents, but Aelin and her family also had their own plans when it was Mais’ birthday week. This fight over her birthday schedule happened every year, and as much as Aelin trusted her therapist methods, she didn’t want to risk it. Now, she just wanted to enjoy the rest of the day at the ice cream shop with her family.

Aelin nodded. “Tell me tomorrow.”

A/N: You can get notifications when I update by either following me on @backtobl4ck-fics or entering my (sometimes glitchy) tag list!!

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[lalosalamcnca]

my rewatch of what’s my line pt 1 & 2 2x09/2x10:

2x09

The high school seasons were always so good at balancing school w supernatural and really showing the Scoobies are teenagers

GODDD SPRUSILLA IS SO SAD ACTUALLY BC DRU IS WEAK AND HE’S TRYING TO SAVE HER, SAVE THEM FROM BEING SEPARATED BY DEATH-

Spike twirling around Drusilla and vowing to kill Buffy for her. Perfection. Nothing like it

Buffy’s face when she says “habit” always has me howling

I feel like this Bangel bedroom scene sums up their relationship. We got the angst, their differences but we see their connection and how they complement each other

Noticing many more seeds planted in terms of emphasizing Buffy is the only slayer considering what’s coming

Xander subtly shading Principal Snyder made me cackle

WILLOW AND OZ ACTUALLY MEETING IS SO ADORABLE!!! You can see his thoughts like “oh my god…it’s the girl”

I get that the writers wanted to misdirect us abt Kendra but why would she knock out the airplane luggage guy

“I didn’t even notice” AND THEN BUFFY KISSES ANGEL WHICH IS SYMBOLIC THAT SHE ACCEPTS WHO HE IS!!!

Angel threatening Willy…definitely see a bit of the demon coming through

That Jamaican accent was SUCH a mistake. Why did they do Bianca Lawson like that

Such a great ending! I remember being completely thrown by Kendra being a slayer

2x10

LMAOO Spike being snarky and saying he’s taking Angel on a date. I’d love for that to happen tho

Nothing more romantic than when your paramour brings your tied-up sire who made you insane

“My ripe, wicked plum” SO SEXY AND EROTIC JFC

Xandelia’s fighting reaching the point where the tension breaks and they kiss. The enemies-to-lovers excellence

Awww Buffy’s aptitude said environmental design….she’d be a great landscaper

OZ CHECKING OUT WILLOW IS SO CUTE

KENDRA COMING IN TO BACK UP BUFFY!

I love that Willow is helping to wrap gauze around Buffy’s knee

Drusilla torturing Angel is kinda hot. Like it’s sad hearing about her family ofc….but she’s hot

Angel screaming at the holy water was kind of a good acting moment. Considering David is an average actor

I like that Kendra and Buffy are slowly bonding and becoming friends, it’s kind of sweet

Points to Angel for nearly getting Spike to kill him. He knows how to hit where it hurts with them

Willy is SUCH a snitch my god

This church scene just reminds me of how the crew forgot David and Juliet were tied together and went for lunch, forgetting them lol

Kendra coming in with a backflip was badass. Unnecessary but cool

THE WAY Bangel looks at each other. Relief, love, devotion, adoration, it’s all there and their chemistry is so wonderful

The music that plays when Xandelia kisses cracks me up

I love that Buffy and Kendra learn from each other. Really wish we could’ve spent more time with them

Drusilla rescuing Spike. She is the baddest bitch I love her

[lady-of-lyon]

So, I made one post a while back about how awesomely feminist the show Wild Kratts was, with how its two main female characters were women of color in engineering and deserving roles of power, female villains who weren’t motivated by spite or quest for youth, etc, but today I wanted to talk about something slightly different, that I’ve wanted to cover for a while now, because I also think it’s very good - and that’s how the show portrays masculinity, in a way that’s really positive!

First, we have our two main characters, Chris and Martin Kratt. Keep in mind these two are basically self-inserts - and there are plenty of creators, especially males, who have used self-insert characters in really scummy ways - all I have to say is Powerpuff Girls reboot and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if they weren’t literal self-inserts, male characters, superheroes especially, oftentimes serve the male power fantasy, being just the strong, stoic, all-powerful person so many boys are told they’re supposed to be. I could get into a whole discussion about how the male power fantasy is present even when males are not (ever look through a fashion magazine and wonder why there are so few men? Sure, part of it is that the industry thrives off exploiting women’s insecurities, and men aren’t as concerned for their appearance, but another part of it is so that the guy, looking through it, can feel like he has no competition for these women - there’s a reason so many comedians have jokes about fashion magazines being their sexual awakening as kids. It’s really scummy) but that’s not what this is about. So, the bros had every opportunity to do just that - make themselves these traditional heroes who aren’t actually really good role models, like batman or what have you. It’s certainly not uncommon for celebrity cartoons to do stuff like that. But Martin and Chris chose a different approach. They’re pretty strong standouts for positive masculinity. They’re openly affectionate - both with eachother as brothers, and with their friends. They cry, sometimes over little things - most of the time when big superheroes cry, it’s ‘cause they lost the girl they loved or their mentor or something like that, only in the big, most agonizing moments do they shed a tear. But here, Chris or Martin will cry just because they’ve had a bad day, or because they’re overwhelmed and overjoyed that someone named a mantis after them! In a lot of shows or movies when a guy cries over something little, it’s usually played for laughs, or to emasculate him, but here it’s casual without being unreasonable or overdone. The brothers cry just ad much, maybe even more (haven’t gone back and counted or anything) as the girls do. Not to mention, it’s a very nice depiction of a loving, healthy sibling relationship. As the youngest sibling myself, it’s refreshing to see a pair who don’t abuse eachother with noogies or cruel and snarky remarks. When they do fight, it’s never a screaming match, and also because they had a conflict of interest or disagreed over a fact, not because, say, one of them stole the other’s shirt or is neglecting the other’s feelings. Kids, being very impressionable, get exposed to a lot of abusive sibling relationships played as normal in media, and start thinking this is how siblings are and should act. For instance, my sister (who is now my best friend and has gotten over all these bad habits over time) when she was younger watched a lot of Kim Possible, a show that is great, but has a bad family dynamic with Kim and her little siblings. The “tweebs” as she calls them are always irresponsible, destructive, and making Kim annoyed to no end. My older brother was one of the most polite, reserved, kind little kids, but she still treated him like he was a brat and a nuisance, because that’s what shows like Kim Possible taught her little brothers were. Additionally, I was always treated like a spoiled crybaby who just wanted attention and got away with everything - I was not any of those things, ever, but that’s what shows teach you little sisters are. Sure, Wild Kratts has a smidge of that, with Chris seemingly being the stereotype of the know-it-all little sibling, but instead of being constantly looked town upon for being too “perfect” like with Hailey Long in American Dragon, Martin often praises his brother for his abilities. Sure, Martin gets annoyed when Chris tries to correct him on things, like in the episode Wolf Hawks, but everyone else does too, so it feels more like a take-down of mansplaining than a sibling spat.

I talked too in the feminist post about how refreshing it is that Chris and Martin more or less willingly put themselves under the authority of Koki and Aviva, two women of color. I don’t think it’s possible to say any one character is the “leader,” they all work as a evenly balanced team, but it’s safe to say that Koki and Aviva make the more responsible decisions. The bros try to get out of their calls a few times, but the show plays it more like they’re being irresponsible, and less like they’re renegade cool dudes who don’t take nothing from nobody, especially not two girls. They are pretty much always punished via karma for their reckless choices, most especially in To Touch a Hummingbird, where their arrogant attitudes blow up in their faces rather spectacularly. We also never see the narrative most present in sitcoms, where the male leads mess up and go out of their way to cover it up and ultimately gets away with it - after all, you have to root for them, right, because sure they messed up and had no consequences, but aren’t they just so lovable? No, here Martin and Chris always have to fix their wrongdoing, and it’s always deserved when they get comeuppance. Another aspect of the show I like is that, many times, when the bros get captured or are in peril, they are saved by the women - and most refreshing of all, there’s never a moment of “wink wink nudge nudge wow I can’t believe I had to be rescued by a GIRL” or even “wow you saved me you’re pretty good honey guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you go girl!” No, when the girls save them, it’s just - you know, relief? Because they were saved? It’s never a scenario played as an exception, or any more dire than when the bros need to rescue eachother. The bros are genuinely happy to have them as teammates. The show even did the standard “boys vs girls” episode in the form of When Fish Fly - but instead of being actually girls vs. boys, it’s engineers vs. adventurers. There’s nothing really gendered about it - the girls happen to be engineers, and the boys happen to be adventurers. And the episode doesn’t end with the boys being “wow gosh darn I shouldn’t have doubted you girls are better at everything,” it’s a mutual agreement that both parties have hard jobs. Basically, the bros are very naturally respectful of women. That plays more into their feminist narrative too, but either way, it’s refreshing.

Then, we have Jimmy! Jimmy, the lovable gamerboy pizza man. At first glance Jimmy seems like the stereotypical cowardly, pathetic, emasculated loser. He’s frightened of most things, as of yet has no power suit, and he BAKES for crying out loud! But none of these things are framed as terribly bad traits. Sure, we laugh when he screams and runs from an animal, but though it happens over and over, the crew doesn’t get sick of it. They don’t berate him or belittle him because he’s so gosh darn cowardly. There’s a great scene in Rattlesnake Crystal where Jimmy has to deliver something to the bros alone, in the middle of a spooky desert. He is terrified the whole time, sprinting off after he delivers the goods. When Martin and Chris run into him, they don’t laugh at him for being spooked, they just greet and then bid fair well to their friend. To them, this is just Jimmy, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Jimmy isn’t coddled, but he is reassured many times that he’s a valuable member of the team. I love that little message, that you’re just as important of a person even if you can’t do as much or have greater limits. When his friends do try to get him over his fears, it’s not because they have to, that the day will somehow be ruined by Jimmy’s incompetence p, but because they’re his friends, and want him to experience fun and wonderful things that he would otherwise miss out on. But what Jimmy CAN do is just as important! Jimmy is a gamer, which in a lot of shows, is portrayed as a lazy, useless, mindless hobby. But here, because he plays video games, it makes him essential for piloting the ship and teleporting important items. There’s always the joke that video games improves your hand/eye coordination, but recent studies have shown it has much better effects. It can make you much better at keeping track of multiple moving objects and processing technical but variable information- two traits which, fittingly enough, are really really important for air traffic controllers and airplane pilots! He also demonstrates a lot more courage behind the wheel of the Tortuga, which makes sense - in an impersonal setting, he would have more sense of calm and control and courage, because it’s so similar to a video game world. It’s not all too different with how I feel more emboldened to pick fights with people on the internet, but get crazy anxious if a real person so much as looks at me. So Jimmy’s love of video games isn’t because he’s irresponsible, it has real benefits. A quick last point - Jimmy also eats a lot, but they thankfully don’t make him fat or greedy or anything like that. He never takes food from people, he actually bakes, and shares it with others! Having the baker be a boy is a lovely touch.

I might do another post about the toxic masculinity of the two villains, (or four villains, I guess, if I wanna discuss the minions) but I’ve got other work to do, and this post is long enough already, so I’ll get around to it later. I’ll sum it up with this - Wild Kratts is a show that teaches boys it’s not only ok to be kind, but essential. The brothers protect defenseless animals, advocate for things “icky” and “weird,” like bugs or snakes or worms - not because they’re boys, and boys like icky things, but because they genuinely see the beauty in all life, and are encouraging us to slow down and do the same. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world not by being the strongest or smartest or coolest, but by looking after those who are exploited and vulnerable, who are essential to the world, even if they can’t always do everything. In Wild Kratts the only weaknesses a man can have isn’t what he can’t do, but what he does do that he shouldn’t have. Sure, it’s a cute show about two funny guys who have cool powers, but it’s also a show about accountability, compassion, respect and trust. The show says “boys will be boys” in all the right ways - Martin is a lovable goof with a heart of gold, but he still has to get his act together when he messes up, and he’s still creative and smart and openly sensitive. Chris is a bit of a know-it-all show-off, but he can also mess up as much as his brother, and is still bold, brave, adventurous, and can put his money where his mouth is. Jimmy is a cowardly, napping, eating machine video-gamer, but he’s still a valued member of the team, has incredible skills and talents, and will always help his friends, even if he is really, really scared. It is so important to have role models like these, in a world dominated by unhealthy machismo. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world - both animated, and real.

All they need now is a canon queer character, and I’ll stan them forever! My money’s on Aviva!!

[last-herondale]

Casual Encounters

✨Loki✨ pt. 6

Pairings: Fem!reader x Loki

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Slight swearing, mention of death

Material: angst and fluff

A/N: hello! More content coming your way because I literally cannot stop. Hehe. Well i think I’m going to have my first explicit scene on part 8, perhaps 🥴, so ya know. Excited for that. Thank you for reading this series, it’s so much fun to write! Enjoy!

💫

You were startled awake by the sound of rustling. Your body jerked forward, nearly flinging yourself off of the branch, but two solid hands held you tightly. You had almost forgotten where you had fallen asleep, realizing you were securely placed in Loki’s lap. You turned your face to Loki, his eyes wide as he put one finger to his lips, telling you to stay silent. Your eyes drifted to the forest floor, the sound of rustling intensifying. Your body tensed with fear, thinking of the child you had encountered yesterday. You shifted forward, wanting to get a better angle, but Loki held onto your waist firmly, not letting you leave his grip.

“Steady,” he said in a low voice. He closed his eyes for a moment, his brow furrowing in concentration. Then, Loki appeared on the forest floor, his stance casual as he walked further from the tree. It was magic you knew, but it was so realistic that if he hadn’t been holding you in that moment, you would have believed it was actually him. The rustling intensified even further, the trajectory turning towards the faux Loki. Your body tensed as the sound grew closer and closer.

Suddenly, a figure broke through the brush, falling at the feet of the fake Loki. “Scott,” you breathed. He was laying in the dirt, his suit dirty and disheveled as he looked up at the illusion. You broke apart from Loki’s grasp and leap from the branch. You landed hard on your feet, the impact made your teeth rattle, but you shook off the pain and hurried to Scott. You heard Loki land behind you as you dropped down to Scott. He didn’t seem hurt, just muddy and tired, his eyes wide with fear.

“(Y/N), oh thank God,” Scott said, relieved. “Scott, what happened? Where’s Sam?”

Scott sat up and regained his composure, his red suit was tattered, part of his helmet was cracked. “It all happened so fast…” he began, his head shaking in disbelief, “We were heading towards the river, then Loki heard you scream and took off. Sam and I tried to follow him but…”

“But what?” Loki asked. He had crouched down beside Scott, his expression stern and far away. He was someone completely different when he was alone with you. “Well, we saw a kid. A little girl…” Scott breathed. Your eyes widened and looked at Loki wearily. You turned back to Scott, understanding the situation a bit better. “Where is Sam?” your voice was tense.

“That's the thing, he went to help the girl, and the next thing I knew he just disappeared, and the girl was just there staring at me, looking at me like I was next. I freaked out and shrunk before she charged at me like some wild animal. I got turned around in the process and made it back to the quinjet. I tried to radio someone, anyone, but the coms were down. So I made my way here, hoping to find you two.”

Your heart seemed to drop in your chest. Sam was now missing as well. Had he been taken by the strange child? Had he been killed? “We encountered one as well,” Loki said, “A boy, he attacked (Y/N).” Scott’s eyes widened. You pulled Scott in for a hug, holding him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Scott pulled away, his face laced with fear. “We need to get the fuck out of this forest, like right now,” Scott said sternly. It was unusual for him to be so crass, normally he was always the jokester of the group. Scott reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a model airplane hotwheel. Upon closer inspection you realized it was the quinjet, shrunk to the size of a penny.

Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise, almost as if he had a newfound respect for Scott. “I brought it with me in case I found you guys, and I think we should use it to get out of here.” You looked at him with confusion. “We can’t leave yet! What about everyone else who's still missing? We can’t just abandon them!” The idea of leaving your team behind was unimaginable. You looked to Loki for support, but his eyes were set on the mini jet. He caught you looking, and winced at the sight of your disapproval.

“We are dealing with something that we have never seen before. Something that has been able to dismantle the entirety of the Avengers in less than a week. I think,” Loki said carefully, “That it would be better to review our options.”

“Exactly!” Scott agreed, slapping a hand on Loki’s shoulder. Loki looked at him with a bit of annoyance, but refocused on you instead. You felt heat in your face as you clenched your fists. So much for all that talk about your ‘capability’. “I am not leaving,” you said through your teeth. Loki gave an exasperated sigh. “(Y/N), please, be reasonable. We can go back to New York, get reinforcements and continue our search,” Loki pleaded. You shook your head immediately. “I am not going to leave them here to die!” you said loudly.

“And how do you expect to save them if you’re dead?!” Loki shouted back at you. You flinched at his words, and glared daggers at him. How could he be willing to give up so easily? “Fine,” you hissed, “Scott, you and Loki go back and get help. I’m going to stay and investigate.”

“Excuse me?” Loki retorted, his face twisting with anger. You jabbed a finger at him, the memories of last night just a flicker of a memory at this point. “You do not dictate what I can or cannot do and I am not going to leave them. I am staying and there is nothing you can do about it.” Scott just looked at you and Loki, shifting in his boots awkwardly. “So…” he muttered.

Loki threw his hands up and paced away from you and Scott, muttering profanities in several different languages. He ran his fingers through his hair, his expression tight and angry. It was strange seeing the God of Mischief become so animated over you, and it was hard not to see him as beautiful in his fit of anger. Finally, he returned to the group, his head shaking in fury. “Lang, get the quinjet ready,” he hissed at Scott. You felt tears well up in your eyes, fury and heartbreak filling your mind as you realized he had given up. On Thor, on the team, and on you.

Scott put the quinjet on the floor and motioned for the two of you to step back. You did so, crossing your arms with frustration, your eyes refusing to look at Loki. Scott pulled out one of his size discs and tossed it at the quinjet, causing the jet to immediately grow to its original size. Scott hungrily climbed into the jet, and left the back hanger open for Loki to enter. You watched as Loki stepped into the jet, following Scott for a moment inside. He didn’t even look at you.

You felt your chest tighten with anger, but turned away from the jet and continued to walk further into the forest. “And where do you think you’re going?” Loki’s irritated voice asked from behind you. You spun around in disbelief, watching the back of the quinjet’s hangar close as the silent engine hummed softly. “I thought…” you murmured, your confusion melting on your face. Loki rolled his eyes at you and stood beside you as he waved at Scott.

“I told Lang to return to the compound and contact Strange. Maybe he has an idea about these strange children and the disappearances.” You blinked, a single tear falling down your face. You quickly wiped it away, hoping he didn’t see. Your mind and your heart felt miles apart.

“Did you really think I’d let you stay here alone?” There was sarcasm in his tone, along with a twinge of pain as he looked down at you. You had to admit you assumed he would want to leave, more than he would want to stay with you, despite what he might have felt. This was easily a life and death situation, with the odds not looking to be in your favor. Maybe, in your own strange way you wanted him to leave. For him to be safe and far away from danger as well. The idea of losing him was just too painful. More painful than you thought possible.

“I would have preferred it, honestly,” you admitted, seeing the pain in his eyes as he looked at you. Without thinking you took hold of his hand, your fingers interlacing with his as you turned to look at him. “But I am glad to be with you, however this may turn out. But I fear that there is no going back from here, Loki.” His eyes searched yours, a small smile forming on his face as the quinjet’s engine revved one more time. “For our sake,” he said softly, turning your hand to place a gentle kiss on your palm, “I hope not.”

You held each other as the early morning sun finally broke through the trees. Scott turned on the stealth mode of the jet, making the entire thing disappear from view. You heard the quinjet pull away, the hum of the engine diminishing with each second as your last chance at escape seemed to finalize your fate. In the silence you looked to Loki, the beautiful God standing by your side. In other circumstances you would have cherished this time alone with him, maybe even tell him how you really felt. But this was not the time. Your priority needed to be elsewhere, for the sake of your friends and for the sake of countless innocent young lives.

“Where to next?” Loki asked, his fingers squeezing yours gently. You straightened your shoulders and extended an arm out to the river, beckoning water to your side. You needed a vast amount of water, you intended on moving quickly. “We need to go deeper into the forest. Barton had a camp set up somewhere nearby and I need to see if he’s there. If anything is there that can give us an idea of what's going on. Are you ready?”

Loki gave a wicked grin. “This should be fun.”

[miraculouscontent]

I’m almost afraid to ask but what happened in the episode?

Full summary time (get sad and angry in advance):

(stating for the record, I do NOT want to see Marinette salt in the reblogs or replies)

- Gabriel is mixing ingredients to fix the peacock miraculous. Duusu emerges when he puts it on and exclaims that she feels so much better, like she was in a nightmare before where she got into evil hands. Nooroo dejectedly tells Duusu that it's not a nightmare and Gabriel transforms.

- Cut to Marientte. She's trying to figure out the Miracle Box and Tikki is trying on little hats. Marinette asks if the kwami are inside and Tikki says "yes," though apart from Duusu and Nooroo. Marinette asks about Fu letting them out, but Tikki tells her that only those with a holder can go out. Marinette worries about the Miracle Box being cramped for them, but Tikki assures her that there's a parallel universe inside for them, though admits that it's more interesting being out with her.

- Marinette pushes the top button on the box, causing the kwami to emerge and go free. Marinette screams, falls, then questions why they came out, to which Tikki says that the box is in her likeness now that she's guardian: full of surprises!

- Trixx is reading her diary, Daizzi is flicking her lamp on and off, Ziggy is playing with her phone (which is currently showing that Luka is trying to call her), and Kaalki phases through the window to look outside. Marinette hurries to grab Kaalki, but a child notices her and Marinette comes up with a quick excuse about Kaalki being a toy that's not for sale.

- Xuppu and Stompp are playing on Marinette's keyboard, flicking on the news, then Alya calls Marinette from the monitor. Marinette hurries over and Alya is concerned at her clear panic, but Marinette simply asks if she likes her plushie. Alya doesn't see Kaalki at all and Tikki explains that kwami can't be seen or heard through technology, leading Marinette to lament that she just looks silly. All this time, there's been a flashing in the background, and Ziggy notes that what Tikki says makes sense because she can't be seen on "this magic painting" (flipping Marinette's phone over to show that all the camera took was her Adrien wall).

- Rose asks to see the plushies and Marinette feigns ignorance. She then panics more and her friends are concerned. Roaar questions how her friends got inside the image on the monitor. Daizzi comments that they're cute and wants Alya specifically to be their wielder. Trixx insists that she's taken and Mullo complains/wonders why Trixx is allowed a wielder and not them.

- Alya, already exasperated, says that she's being weirder than usual. Marinette excuses it with talk of getting exercise and Alya pieces together (in the rudest way possible) that all of Marinette's absurdities must mean--and all the girls chime in to ask if Marinette is at Adrien's house.

- The phone rings and Ziggy throws it. Marinette catches it and stammers, "LUKA!" then fumbles with the phone before it hits her keyboard and shuts the call off. The girls sigh, "Lukaaaaa," and Juleka mumbles something unintelligible, leading all the girls to exclaim that, "It's so cute!" (I--...sure, okay, just flip flop to whatever and have no proper reaction.)

- Meanwhile, Marinette answers the phone and Luka thanks her for the picture. She doesn't understand and Luka explains that she texted him a picture of her room--and Adrien. Marinette scrolls through her messages to see that Ziggy had sent him the picture she had taken earlier of her wall.

- Marinette panics and tries to excuse it by saying that it's a series of fashion pictures for her blog and wanted his opinion, in the process accidentally calling him "Adrien." Luka chimes back that "his name is actually Luka," and Marinette panics further, doing the same thing again before correcting herself, rambling on and on until she says, "it's just that I cheated on you--I mean, I got confused!"

- Luka insists that it's fine and asks if she's ready. She doesn't get it and Luka tells her that they have a date (Sabine is also going upstairs to see Marinette directly despite Luka literally being on the phone with her). Marinette hurriedly shoves all the kwami in the box and stashes them away, begging them to be nice and then heading downstairs.

- Sabine asks about the date she was meant to have with Luka yesterday and she says that she forget. Luka reminds her that they'd postponed because this is the last session and they can't afford to miss it. Marinette doesn't remember what they were going to see and Tom rambles about how it came out again and "it was already so dumb fifteen years ago," leading Sabine to comment that it was his first movie. Luka admits that the movie is dumb but he and Marinette are such big fans of "his" that they swore they'd go see it together. It clicks with Marinette and she cheers excitedly about how they're going to watch Jagged Stone's first movie. Luka asks if she forgot and Marinette insists that she didn't because "she definitely didn't have other emergencies to deal with," then rushes Luka out.

- Luka and Marinette are heading to the movies and trying to compete with each other to guess song lyrics to some of Jagged Stone's songs while they're getting their drinks. They sit down in the cinema and Marinette verses Luka on a song about "my guitar is my only family," which is apparently a song he really loves. Marinette congratulates him for winning the game and calls him "officially" Jagged's biggest fan and adds that he "deserves a prize for it," giving him a pink gift box. Luka opens it and is amazed by the guitar pick necklace inside, to which Marinette explains that Jagged came to the bakery the other day so she asked him to sign it for the present.

- Luka states that the gift gives her the right for a second round and recites another song lyric. Marinette takes a moment to figure it out, then excitedly recites the remaining lyrics: "KISS ME!!!" She gets embarrassed when she realizes that she blurted it out so loudly, to which Luka smiles and says, "If that's what you want." Marinette gets sheepish at what he'd done, but agrees, saying that... yes, she wants to.

- The kiss is interrupted by an akuma attack and Marinette has to make an excuse to get away. Tikki questions her if she's going to leave Luka alone (...seriously? we’re doing this now???) and Marinette points out that she can't tell him the truth.

- Ladybug shows up on the scene to what seems to be Mister Pigeon (he's not shown but it's an airplane made of pigeons), and she's listening to a message from Chat Noir that she presumably got earlier, stating that he's ready for patrol. While she's listening, Chat Noir sneaks up and pranks/surprises her, to which she grabs his wrist and yeets him off into the distance. Realizing what she did, she yoyos him back and he slams into the window. She scolds him because she could've hurt him and Chat Noir states that "the only thing that hurts him is when she leaves him alone for patrols" and how he "even missed her angry looks." She reminds him that she's been busy and he says that he knows because she's guardian now. Ladybug promises not to forget patrol again and they go off to fight Mister Pigeon.

- Cut back to Luka, who's feeling sad because the movie is over and Marinette still isn't there. Marinette returns and makes another excuse, to which Luka just smiles sadly. Cue montage of Marinette getting ice cream with him, him picking her up from school on his bike, both of which end with her having to rush off. Cut to a scene on the Liberty where Luka is about to dedicate a song to Marinette, "a girl..." and then looks to see that she hasn't arrived "...who, as always, isn't here." Marinette does show up, but the damage is done.

- Later, Marinette and Luka are walking along underneath a bridge while Marinette is making another excuse. Luka shushes her and tells her to listen to the water because if you're in this exact place, you can "hear a melody." Marinette listens for it and calms herself, after which Luka explains that he never knew who his father was and his mother never wanted to tell him who he was, so whenever he was upset over it, he'd go there to think. He asks her where she goes when she disappears and Marinette struggles to answer. Luka assures her that he'll accept whatever she says and will understand if she's still in love with Adrien, adding that he won't be jealous either. Marinette tells him that "it's not, definitely not," and Luka tells her that all he asks for is the truth. Marinette, torn, has to admit that the truth is the only thing she can't tell him.

- Visual representation of Luka's heart breaking is shown (Luka turns white, black background, a zoom out, and a crackling noise). Shadow Moth sends his akuma+feather combo and it hits the necklace that Luka is wearing. Shadow Moth tries to make a deal with Luka, but Luka resists, insisting that the truth should be shared and not taken by force, also calling him "Shadow Moth." Marinette glances up at the name, confused, then apologizes and begs Luka to resist. Shadow Moth asks why Luka resists when Marinette doesn't trust him, to which Luka insists that she does. Marinette echoes that and assures Luka that she trusts him, but Shadow Moth states that - if she really trusted him - she'd tell him the truth. Luka's mental state is finally broken and he falls to his knees, only able to beg Marinette to run before he's taken over by the akumatization energy. Marinette flees and Luka transforms into Truth with his sentimonster Pharo.

- Marinette transforms into Ladybug and then the scene cuts to Truth landing on the Liberty. Pharo traps Alya in its spotlight, freezing her in place, after which Truth shoots her, turning her lips white. He asks her what Marinette's secret is and Alya says that she's in love with Adrien. Truth tells her that that's not a secret and shoots Mylene next, who says the same thing. Frustrated, Truth insists that it can't be the only thing. Ladybug is hiding nearby, taking on her yoyo to Chat Noir about how Hawk Moth merged his power with the peacock to become Shadow Moth.

- Rose insists that Marinette doesn't have secrets because she's "the most honest girl in the world." Truth tries to shoot her, but Juleka jumps in the way and gets shot instead, though her answer to Luka's question is just more unintelligible mumbling. Ladybug makes herself known and Truth starts shooting her, though she dodges. She lands on the deck of the Liberty, then gasps as she notices the necklace-turned-akumatized-object on Truth. "Luka?!" (I'm just--I--she saw him being covered by akumatization energy--I--)

- Her shocked state allows for Pharo to hit her with the spotlight. Truth shoots her, but before Ladybug can blab her secret identity, Chat Noir swoops in to save her. Shadow Moth shouts at Truth to give chase, but Anarka shows up and demands to know what Truth is doing on the ship. In response, Pharo freezes Anarka and Truth shoots her, calling her "Mom" and asking who his father is. Anarka replies that it's Jagged Stone. Luka's eyes go round in disbelief and he asks again, getting the same answer. Truth apologizes to Shadow Moth, but insists that "this truth can't wait," jumping off into the distance.

- Meanwhile, Ladybug and Chat Noir have gotten out of the water that Chat and her hid in. Chat Noir assures her that he'd never try to take a secret from her by force, and Ladybug points to his belt to indicate that he hand it to her. He does so and she wraps it around her mouth to prevent her from speaking.

- Jagged Stone is playing a song for Prince Ali (by the way, the song production in this episode is terrible; Rose and Jagged since like they're trying to be off-key, made worse by the fact that Rose was singing the unicorn song that they could've just copy-pasted from "Silencer") when Pharo descends and hits him with the spotlight. Truth shows up and demands to know if he's Jagged's son, to which Jagged replies that it "depends on who he is." Ladybug and Chat Noir show up and Pharo goes after them, though Truth still manages to hit Jagged with his beam, explaining that he's Luka Couffaine and he "has a right to know the truth."

- Jagged admits that Luka is his son. This shocks Ladybug and Chat Noir, the latter of whom gets hit by Pharo's spotlight. Truth, distressed, asks Jagged why he hid it and abandoned him, to which Jagged apologizes but insists that he was "too lame to take care of a child," having spent his whole life on tour and now living in a hotel with a crocodile; he "never could have been a good father."

- ...In fact - he says - it actually resulted in a great song, unknowingly reciting one of Luka's favorites as he explains the it was, "my guitar was my only family." Truth, enraged, grabs Jagged and yeets him off into the sky. Ladybug acts quickly, hitting Pharo with her yoyo so she and Chat Noir can give chase. Shadow Moth demands that Truth go after them, but Truth apologizes and states there's still one truth left that he needs to know.

- Ladybug and Chat Noir manage to save Jagged, avoiding Pharo's eye until Jagged is properly safe. that done, they hop off, thoughTruth has already landed in Marinette's house.

- Truth hits Tom with his beam and asks what Marinette's secret is. Tom repeats the "she's in love with Adrien," line, to which Truth then shoots Sabine instead and asks if Marinette has a diary. Sabine tells him that she does and Truth marches for her room, though is briefly (very briefly) stopped by Tom.

- Meanwhile, Pharo thinks he sees Ladybug and Chat Noir and shoots them, though it was actually just some cardboard cut-outs seen earlier (Truth has a telepathic connection to it and congratulates it for its success), allowing Ladybug and Chat Noir to freely head for where Truth is.

- The kwami freak out at Truth ransacking Marinette's room and worry about Truth finding the Miracle Box. Xuppu wants to do something but Wayzz reminds him that their powers are too strong without a wielder, reminding them of when Plagg sunk Atlantis.

- Ladybug and Chat Noir arrive and Truth summons Pharo telepathically, meaning that Pharo is on its way. Ladybug indicates the necklace to Chat Noir with a tilt of her head and Chat Noir activates Cataclysm. Truth and Chat Noir go back and forth for a bit until Chat Noir tells Ladybug to use her lucky charm, to which she indicates the binding around her mouth. Chat Noir tells her to remove it because he has a plan... then gets knocked down almost immediately by Truth. Truth starts to ask for Ladybug to tell him--but Chat Noir kicks him down and finishes the question by asking about his top three qualities. Ladybug tells him that she's impressed by his self-confidence, his courage, but what she prefers most is his humor. Chat Noir and Truth go back-to-back some more and Truth tries to ask Ladybug again, but Chat knocks Truth away and finishes by asking what she uses when all seems lost. Ladybug uses Lucky Charm (no Charm suit) and gets aluminum foil.

- Pharo plows through the wall and spotlights Chat Noir. Truth shoots him and starts to ask his identity, but Ladybug blocks Pharo's eyes and cuts in to ask what Chat Noir thinks of her being guardian, to which Chat Noir states that it doesn't bother him so long as nothing changes between them.

- Chat Noir fights Truth while Ladybug covers her decorative umbrella in foil. Truth dodges Chat's Cataclysm and Ladybug intentionally pulls Pharo forward so Pharo is struck instead. Pharo proceeds to go nuts and Ladybug yoyos it and jumps on top, directing its spotlight towards the foil-covered umbrella that Chat is now holding. The light reflects onto Truth, freezing him, and Ladybug hits Truth's necklace. Cue Miraculous Ladybug.

- Ladybug and Chat Noir hop up to a roof and Chat comments on how much fun he had. Ladybug describes what just happened and is like if that's fun for you then yeah. Chat idles on Shadow Moth's name and Ladybug shows confidence that they'll catch him in the end, after which they banter a bit and Chat Noir tells her that it's "only with her that he can have so much fun."

- Cut to Marinette and Luka, now on the bridge in the location he was before. Marinette tells him that she doesn't want to lie and starts to suggest that it might be better for them to break up, but Luka steps forward and hugs her before she can say "break up" specifically. She hugs back and he assures her that he'll be there for her whenever she's ready. Marinette shuts her eyes tight, pained, and buries her face into his shoulder.

- Luka is later walking back to the Liberty, depressed, when he sees Jagged Stone idling near the gangplank. Jagged approaches, hugs him (Luka hugs back), then states that - if there's one thing he knows how to do (specifically calling Luka "son") - it's turning emotions into great songs, then suggests that he and Luka write one together. Luka smiles, though it looks a little bittersweet.

- Marinette, meanwhile, is crying on her bed, saying that - now that Shadow Moth is a threat to the people she loves - she can't have a boyfriend because it's too dangerous. The kwami approach and Kaalki expresses confusion at the "strange liquid coming out of her eyes." Trixx explains that they're tears and it's "too sad" (while the way-too-happy ending track is starting to kick in, by the way). Daizzi asks if they're meant to do something and Marinette tells them to "just give her a hug." The kwami swarm her to do just that and the episode ends.

[sachigram]

With Teeth Chapter 4

((click here to read on ao3!))

The next few days pass by normally for Shizuo. He's been making more of an effort to be social, doesn't want to make his friends feel left out of his life. He could see how it hurt them before when he pushed them away. As a result, he has more things to do, and he feels better than he has in ages.

Tonight, he's sitting across from Tom, next to Vorona. They're all having drinks to celebrate a successful week at work, and Shizuo is looking forward to the weekend. He doesn't have any plans on his off days, but he likes not having to worry about tracking down some low-life, even if he's only free of it two days a week.

“Any plans this weekend?” Tom asks them both. He's flushed, clearly tipsy already. Shizuo has a high tolerance, and he's pretty sure Vorona does too, because she's drinking faster than either of them, and she seems perfectly sober.

“Negative,” Vorona replies while Shizuo merely shakes his head. “I may go to the bookstore tomorrow.”

“Your checks all go to books,” Tom says. “You should live a little.”

“To acquire knowledge is life's goal.”

Tom looks from her to Shizuo and raises his eyebrows. Immediately, Shizuo feels like Tom is about to do something stupid.

“Why don't the two of you hang out together? Since neither of you have plans.” Tom sips his drink, a smug look of satisfaction on his face. Shizuo's blood boils.

“I—“ he starts, but is interrupted when Vorona speaks.

“That would be nice.”

“Huh?” Shizuo asks, turning to face her. She's looking at him with her usual indifferent gaze, not the least bit affronted by the idea.

“If it would be agreeable for Shizuo-senpai, I see no reason we cannot meet tomorrow,” Vorona says, and she tosses back the rest of her drink. It's straight gin, no mixer, no rocks, but she doesn't even flinch. Just the smell of it has been burning Shizuo's nose.

“Oh, um. If you want to,” Shizuo says, unsure of what's even happening.

“So it's a date then,” Tom announces, and he goes to get them all more drinks.

***

“You shouldn't have done that,” Shizuo grumbles later, after Vorona has split away from them to go catch her train. “You made her feel like she had to agree.”

“Shizuo, come on, man. How do you miss the way she looks at you? She's had a thing for you since she started working with us.” Tom is stumbling a bit as he walks, and Shizuo considers letting him face-plant if he falls.

“She does not. And even if she did, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?”

Tom looks up at Shizuo, giving him such an incredulous look that it's almost reminisce of the way the flea looks at him.

“What are you supposed to do about it?” Tom repeats, and then he laughs. “Oh, my god. You're killing me.”

“Shut up, you know what I mean. I'm not someone that anyone should have a thing for. I'm dangerous, and it's only gotten worse.” Shizuo looks up at the sky, sees the lights of airplanes flying overhead. “I don't want to hurt her.”

“You don't hurt people who don't deserve it,” Tom replies, and Shizuo thinks of that strange dream he had before, the one where Izaya was there, seeing his worst memory. “Give yourself some credit, would you? Have fun. Try to be happy.”

“I am trying. This is a bad idea.”

“Well, too late now. If you stand her up, you really will be an asshole,” Tom says, and then he falls on his face. Shizuo makes no move to help him up.

Shizuo doesn't sleep that night. He's too anxious about his “date” with Vorona, has no idea what they'll do or what they'll talk about. He's tried before to think of himself as the kind of guy who would be lucky enough to have a pretty girl on his arm, but it's always too much of a fantasy, something unattainable and pointless to hope for. Vorona is strong, and she's seen him fight, knows what he's capable of, but it's different to behold someone dangerous from the sidelines and then up close, when it's turned on you. He imagines her look of indifference changing to real fear when he lunges at her, and he doesn't realize until he's waking up that he actually managed to slip into unconsciousness.

“Fuck.” He gets up from the bed, moving to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. He's terrified of what will come, of what he is. More than anything, he's sick of being so terrified. His reflection is older, maybe wiser, but all Shizuo can see is that same snotty kid who hurt someone he wanted to protect once.

***

He meets Vorona at the train station. She's dressed the same as she always is, and he's grateful she didn't do anything different in her routine for his sake. She lifts a hand in greeting, studying his face.

“You appear tired,” she says.

“Yeah. Didn't sleep well last night. Sorry.”

“No apology necessary. Perhaps we could get coffee first, both wake up a little more.”

As it turns out, following Vorona around isn't too different from trailing after Tom. She doesn't talk nearly as much, but she doesn't seem to mind taking the lead, and she doesn't take his silence as disinterest. They wind up going to the bookstore Vorona mentioned, grabbing coffee from a little kiosk outside before wandering the aisles. Vorona picks up a book every now and then, explains it to Shizuo in a way he can understand without being pretentious about it, and he finds that he's actually enjoying himself.

After Vorona purchases some new books, they make their way down the street to a restaurant she says she's been wanting to try. This is the part Shizuo was worried about, having to sit alone with her and have her realize he's got absolutely nothing interesting to say, but they manage to keep the conversation going. It's easier than Shizuo expected, and he finds himself thinking he should thank Tom later for setting this up.

“You seem happier than before,” Vorona says when they're walking out of the restaurant. “You were so quiet for so long.”

Shizuo opens his mouth to ask what she means, but he thinks he knows. He was feeling sorry for himself after the bite, wanted to keep everyone out, pushed them away. He is happier now than he was then, but he's still a coward, and he's still scared of anyone learning his secret.

“I'm better now,” he says, feeling that it's true.

“I am very glad,” she replies, and she gives him a rare smile.

That night, as Shizuo walks home after escorting Vorona to the train station, he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.

“Yo,” he says, picking up the call.

“How did it go?”  Tom asks.

“It was...nice,” Shizuo says. He can practically feel Tom's frustrations through the phone.

“Nice? That's not telling me anything!”

“We had a good time. It was much better than I thought it would be.”

“I guess that's all I'm going to get from you. Either way, I'm glad. I think you'll both be good for each other.”

“Yeah,” Shizuo replies. For the first time in his life, he can picture a girl on his arm. “Me too.”

***

The days that follow are slow, but enjoyable. Shizuo goes to work, hangs out with Tom and Vorona, makes plans to spend time with Vorona again on the upcoming weekend. He's almost able to forget all about his ailment, and the bullshit alliance he has with Izaya, who has been silent since storming out of his place the morning after the full moon. Shizuo will have to see him soon so he can stock back up on his potion, and he's not looking forward to it. Part of him worries what Izaya might do if he learns Shizuo is dating Vorona. Izaya wants to ruin every good thing in Shizuo's life. There's no way he wouldn't interfere.

Still, Shizuo is enjoying his period of peace. He's able to sidestep his involuntary entanglement with the other world, with Izaya. He's enjoying feeling like himself again, whoever that may be.

Friday night, before his date with Vorona on Saturday, he's able to find sleep easily, but it doesn't feel like sleeping. He closes his eyes in his room, opens them somewhere else. He hears the sounds of crying, of screaming, and while he should move away from it, he finds himself moving closer. There's a familiar scene before him, one of himself standing in front of a small boy cowering in a corner while two toddlers scream in their cribs. It feels like he's been here before, but he can't place why, not until the small boy looks up at him.

“Izaya,” Shizuo breathes. He doesn't know his own age here, but he can see how small Izaya is, how scared. It's unsettling. Shizuo has never seen fear on Izaya's face before.

“Who are you?” Izaya asks him, looking up at him with wonder.

“You don't know me?” Shizuo asks in disbelief. Izaya has his webs of deceit stretched over everything, over everyone, so time and space probably mean nothing to him either. But when Izaya shakes his head, Shizuo finds he instantly believes him.

“Am I dreaming?” Izaya looks around. “Are you a vision? You're not a ghost, right?”

“No,” Shizuo says. “I'm dreaming. I don't know what the fuck you're doing. You're a witch, right? You've gotta be the one doing something.”

Izaya flinches at the word “witch”, and he looks nervously around himself before looking back up at Shizuo.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Shizuo snaps, and Izaya flinches even more. Shizuo feels concern for the kid in front of him, even knowing who he is, or at least who he'll grow up to be. Is this real? It's not real; it can't be real. It's a dream, one of those lucid dreams he's heard about. He'll ask Shinra about it later.

“Your mind is loud,” Izaya says, and he stands up, padding across the floor to stand in front of Shizuo. How is the flea so tall? He's a small kid, can't be more than twelve if the twins are still toddlers, but Shizuo is looking in Izaya's eyes. Izaya snorts, amused. “I'm not tall. You're the same height as me.”

Shizuo looks down at himself, realizes he's a kid here, too, but with all his memories of the future. He looks back at Izaya, dubious of him, and the amusement drains from Izaya's face.

“You really don't like me,” Izaya says, and he fidgets.

“You ruined my life,” Shizuo spits. “Or you will, anyway.”

“Oh.” Izaya's voice is small. “I've sensed terrible things to come in the future. Things for myself, especially, but I don't know how to stop any of it. I don't think it can be stopped.”

“The future is shitty already, but you make it worse. You enjoy making people suffer. The Izaya I know is—“ Shizuo stops himself, realizes he was yelling. Izaya seems terrified of him, but also curious, his eyes shining even in the darkness of the room.

“You're the realest vision I've ever had,” Izaya says. “I hope I remember you. I forget them sometimes when they're over.” The lights of the room begin flickering on and off, and Izaya puts his hands over his ears. “Go away!” he shouts towards the corner of the room.

“What's happening? Who's doing this?” Shizuo asks, feeling like he should protect this child version of his greatest enemy. The Izaya before him is just a kid, and Shizuo doesn't know how or why, but he can feel how incredibly lonely Izaya is.

“A ghost,” Izaya replies, and he narrows his eyes at Shizuo as if daring him to argue. “I see them all the time, and they want me to help them, but I don't know how. They won't listen to me when I say that.”

“Where are your parents?”

Izaya shrugs, and Shizuo feels rage boiling inside him. He remembers hearing from Shinra once that Izaya's parents were never around, that Izaya raised the twins practically on his own. Mairu and Kururi are weird, certainly, and Shizuo isn't fond of the idea of letting them anywhere near his own brother, but he think they're good kids, all things considered, especially if this is how they were raised.

“My grandparents are around,” Izaya says, seeming to read Shizuo's thoughts. “Or, they will be tomorrow. They already came by today to bring food.”

“That's so fucked up,” Shizuo blurts, and to his surprise, Izaya smiles.

“My parents aren't bad people. They're incredibly busy, and they weren't expecting to have more kids.” Izaya looks to the the twins, who are watching him, still warbling even though the lights have stopped flickering for now. Their little hands are reaching towards him through the bars of their cribs. “As for my grandparents, they're not in great health. They can't do much to help aside from cooking and checking in every now and then.”

“Sounds like a lot of excuses,” Shizuo says, thinking of his own family. His mother never even wanted to leave their family overnight, much less weeks, months at a time. Izaya shrugs again.

“Maybe so. It doesn't matter much to me anymore. They never listened to me even when they were here.” Izaya studies Shizuo for a moment. “Your mind is—“

“Loud, yeah. You keep saying that.”

“It's more than that! It's like static and whirlwind mixed together. I can feel you wanting me out of your head, but you keep letting me back in, pulling me in, really. It's like you want me to hear you.”

“I don't,” Shizuo says flatly. “How are you doing any of this, anyway? I'm not anywhere near you in the present right now. Why are we sharing the same dream?”

“How should I know? I was born with this power, but I don't know how to use it all yet,” Izaya says, and Shizuo frowns at him, wants to bring up the future and all the terrible things Izaya will do once he does master his stupid power, but it would be pointless. This Izaya has no idea of the future, probably isn't even real. This is a dream, probably, Shizuo's brain attempting to humanize the flea.

“You called me a witch,” Izaya murmurs, more to himself than to Shizuo.

“That's what you call yourself,” Shizuo says.

“I've never had a word for it before. I just knew I was...different. People romanticize it, you know, being different from everyone else. Standing out. Maybe for a while, it was fun. But lately I'm like an island in myself, and every day the distance to the mainland grows.” Izaya pauses, as if hearing himself say so out loud is illuminating in some way. “I'm being dramatic, aren't I? I didn't mean to say any of that.”

“I know what you mean,” Shizuo finds himself saying. He doesn't elaborate, but he doesn't really have to. He can feel Izaya in his head, like a prickle on the edges of his subconscious.

“Why aren't we friends?” Izaya asks, and the question is so earnest, so innocent, that Shizuo finds himself bolting upright in his bed, jerked back into wakefulness.

“Fuck these fucking dreams,” he hisses, rolling over to check his phone. It's a little after seven in the morning, an hour before his alarm was set to go off. He's already got a message from Vorona, telling him she's looking forward to their outing.

He doesn't know why he can't get Izaya's face out of his mind.

***

Shizuo's second date with Vorona goes well.

They meet at Sunshine 60, have some drinks with their food. Conversation comes easier this time, and there's hardly any silence between them. While they walk, Shizuo finds her hand in his, and he doesn't hate it. Her hand is soft, but not too soft. She has the same callused hands he does, and it reminds him that she can take care of herself, that she can handle him, so long as he's careful to remain human around her.

He drank enough to have a little bit of a buzz going as they make their way up towards the observatory. Vorona says she hasn't seen it yet, and wants to. It reminds Shizuo that this is the sort of thing people who visit Ikebukuro find exciting, while it remains mundane to the locals. He trails after her as they walk, and he doesn't know why he notices a familiar face off to the side, outside a comic book store, but he does notice, and he stops in his tracks. Vorona looks up at him questioningly.

“What is it?” she asks.

“Hey, I'll meet you up there. I need to ask someone something really quick.”

Vorona studies him. “Affirmative. I will go on ahead.”

Shizuo watches her go for a moment, and then he turns back to the comic book store, making his way through the crowd. A redheaded man is leaning against the building, his arms crossed. He grins up at Shizuo when he notices his approach.

“Well, well. Heiwajima Shizuo. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I don't remember your name,” Shizuo says bluntly, and the man laughs.

“Yeah, why would you? I'm sure you've got more pressing things to manage these days. You can call me Akabayashi, if you bother to remember it.”

Shizuo recognizes him from all that shit with Akane. Akabayashi also was there with the twins that day at the dojo, Vorona's first day of work.

“You know, don't you?” Shizuo asks, keeping his voice low. Akabayashi raises an eyebrow.

“You'll have to be more specific.”

“Cut the shit. You know what I am, and you know who did it. I wanna know why.”

“Well, let's see,” Akabayashi says, scratching his chin. “As I recall, you don't keep your head down much. In fact, you've gotten involved in plenty of things you shouldn't have been. You know that already, so your pressing question really is who, isn't it?”

“I already know Izaya ordered it. I wanna know who it was that did the dirty work.” Shizuo glowers at Akabayashi, hating how amused the man seems. He's not scared of Shizuo in the least. It's refreshing, but it's also irritating.

“Don't make assumptions that we take orders from the likes of that brat. Anyway, yeah, I know who did it, and so would you, if you saw him. He's laying low for now, under orders. I can't give you a name. You understand.”

“Bullshit, I do!” Shizuo snaps, and he lifts Akabayashi up by the collar of his suit. “Give me a name, dammit! It's the least you fuckers can do after you all stood back and let me turn into this— thing!”

“This is the problem with youngsters like you. You're too emotional. It's okay, kid, I was like that before, too, but this city has a way of beating passion right out of you.” Akabayashi doesn't seems concerned at all, even as his feet dangle. In fact, he looks like he's having a blast. “You'll know in due time. A little patience would do you good.”

“It's been seven months,” Shizuo says, offended at the idea he hasn't been too patient already.

“And? What do you want, a medal?”

“You fucker—“

“They had it! They really had it!” A small, excited voice says, and Shizuo finds himself looking down into the wide eyes of Awakusu Akane. She's carrying a bag from the store, clearly over the moon about her purchase.

“I'm glad,” Akabayashi says. “You can tell me all about that story of yours while we get lunch.”

“Shizuo-san...” Akane whimpers, and Shizuo releases Akabayashi. “You're not here to fight, right?”

“I was thinking about it,” Shizuo admits, “but I decided against it.”

“I'm not ready to fight you yet!” Akane says, her voice more determined now. “But I will be! I'm trying extra hard at the dojo, and I can challenge you soon!”

“I look forward to it. Just don't work too hard, okay? Getting strong means taking it easy sometimes, too,” Shizuo says, putting a hand on her head.

“Right! I'll do my best!”

“Anything else, or can I take the little miss to our lunch date?” Akabayashi asks, and Shizuo glares at him.

“I'll ask you again later.”

“Go for it! Maybe I'll give you an answer. Maybe you could ask that information broker friend of yours, too.” Akabayashi turns on his heel, pulling Akane along with him with one hand, his cane in the other. “Or then again, steer clear of that one. He's not right in the head.”

“Bye, Shizuo-san!”

Shizuo growls after them, and then he goes to meet Vorona. Akabayashi was right; Shizuo does have more pressing things to worry about.

***

After parting ways with Vorona at the train station again, Shizuo considers going to see Shinra and asking about the dreams he's been having, but he decides he'll do it later. He had a good day, and he doesn't want Shinra dampening it with his overstepping. Especially while Shizuo has something else even more terrible to deal with.

He knocks, and it takes a few moments for the door to open. Finally, an irate brunette appears, glaring at Shizuo.

“What do you want now?” she asks, and her voice sounds accusatory, as if Shizuo is interrupting more than just her current peace.

“I'm here to see Izaya,” Shizuo says, and she rolls her eyes.

“I didn't think you were here for anything else. Come in, I guess.” She steps to the side, allowing Shizuo inside. He doesn't see Izaya anywhere.

“He left something for you,” she says, moving to the corner. She emerges with a large box in her arms, and she shuffles towards Shizuo, letting him take it from her. “He said he knew you were coming, and that he didn't want to see you.”

“Of course,” Shizuo spits, taking the box that's filled with his potions. He doesn't know why he expected to see Izaya here, why he's disappointed he didn't.

“Please tell me you didn't give him anything to use against you,” the woman says. Shizuo frowns at her.

“What was your name again?” he asks.

“Is that really relevant? I'm your mortal enemy's secretary, and I also hate him. Watching him be angry about you is one of my few joys in life.”

“That's pathetic,” Shizuo says, feeling a vindictive sort of satisfaction when her lip curls at him.

“I wasn't looking for your approval. Answer my question.”

“Where is Izaya?” Shizuo asks, bypassing her and her scrutiny.

“Does it matter? Out. I thought you'd be happy. Now answer me, dammit. What's he holding over your head? Is it worth seeing him so frequently? To my understanding, the two of you only crossed paths before by accident, and it was always antagonistic.”

“If you hate him so much, you shouldn't work for him,” Shizuo snaps, disliking her and her unwanted insight into his life. “You seem capable enough to handle yourself. What do you need him for?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she says flatly, and he scoffs.

“Yeah? Well, I asked you first. The thing is, we both know what we're getting from him, right? And neither of us feel the need to share it with anyone else.”

“Whatever. Sue me for wondering. I won't take pity on you again.”

Shizuo is all but shoved from the apartment, the box of potion vials in his arms. He doesn't like anything about the way he feels, but he trudges home, his stomach in knots the entire way. Not seeing Izaya feels like an omen of sorts, like a harbinger of things to come.

***

He dreams later, first of nothing, and then of that same room, of the twins screaming in their cribs, and Izaya crying out in fear. It seems like the slate has been wiped clean, like this version of Izaya never spoke to any version of Shizuo. But that's accurate, isn't it? This is all pretend. It's all just a dream.

“Why do you keep coming back here?” Izaya's voice asks, and when Shizuo meets his eyes, it's the present version of Izaya. He's standing in the corner, right beside his past self, who doesn't seem to be able to see either of them now.

“I don't know,” Shizuo says. He's not a kid this time. He's towering over Izaya, but of course Izaya isn't backing down. “How are you doing this?”

“Me?” Izaya asks, incredulous. “How am I doing what? You're the one spying on my past.”

“I'm not the one with magic!” Shizuo roars. “Don't act like I'm invading your privacy, not when you're the one who's always linking us. It's not my fault that it goes both ways.”

Izaya pales, as if this thought only just occurred to him. He recovers quickly, schooling his features, turning away from Shizuo in a show of nonchalance.

“You got what you wanted from me. You got your potions, the ones that keep you so fucking tame—“

“Who are you to tell me what I want?” Shizuo interjects. “I never wanted to deal with you at all, especially so frequently. And even then, you couldn't leave well enough alone, right? You had to start haunting my dreams, too.”

When their eyes meet again, Shizuo is filled with a sudden onslaught of understanding, thoughts he knows aren't his own. Izaya isn't doing this on purpose, doesn't know how it keeps happening, doesn't like it any more than Shizuo does. Shizuo's mind is almost impossible for Izaya to pull away from, like a black hole, and even with Izaya trying to pull back, Shizuo doesn't seem to be allowing it. In fact, Shizuo is strengthening the link by being here, by interacting with Izaya's past. He's the one pulling Izaya in, like a child in desperate need of company.

“That's not true,” Shizuo growls, not appreciating Izaya's comparison. He can't help looking over to the younger version of Izaya, who is still crying pitifully. Shizuo feels the need to protect him from his future self's callous words, too, even if he can't seem to hear anything other than the twins and the ghost terrorizing them.

“In case you haven't noticed, I have been leaving you alone. I'm incredibly busy, and every time I actually manage to sleep, here you are, poking around. Snooping. Don't you have better things to do, like entertain that Matryoshka doll of yours?” Izaya asks, and Shizuo whirls back to face him, his mouth a twisted snarl of rage.

“Don't you fucking talk to me about her.”

“Don't talk to me at all. Get the fuck out!” Izaya shouts, and the door behind Shizuo opens. He's yanked backwards by an incredible force, and he falls through the doorway. He keeps falling through black nothingness, images flashing before his eyes as he does, memories he knows aren't his own. He tries to grab onto them, tries to make sense of any of them, but he can't. They're gone as soon as they appear.

Right before he hits whatever ground is below, he jerks awake, finds he's twisted himself into his sheets and managed to topple over into the floor. Cursing, he untangles himself, and he thinks back to the dream, at least, the parts of it he can remember. The image of a young, nervous Izaya talking to older men in fine suits is at the forefront of his mind.

Miles away, he knows Izaya is awake, too.

[goldenslumbersfanfiction]

i’m not sure if you want to keep going back to the little green verse but would you consider doing a one shot of dani, jamie, and luna visiting karen? i absolutely adore their dynamic in that verse and always go back to that fic :)

Read it here on AO3

It’s the summer after Luna turns five years old, and your mother invites you to Iowa. She had moved to a new house in an over 55 community at the beginning of the year, and she just finished redecorating. She has a guest room and a pull out couch, and she tells you that she’d love to have you visit. 

You delay as much as you can, because even though your relationship with her had honestly become something unrecognizable in it’s goodness over the last several years, you have not been back to Iowa since you returned to sell your house and all your things as quickly as you could. You delay until you can’t anymore, until Karen gets Luna on the phone one day and is chatting away with her and your daughter comes running into your room to tell you that grandma invited you all to visit, and that she has a swimming pool, and Luna will not shut up about it for weeks, and now you’re a bad mother if you hold her hostage from the promised fun it.

So you book your tickets, and you push down that feeling of unease about it, because Luna keeps zooming around your living room with her arms stretched wide like an airplane, and you'll probably have a good time. It’s only five days, but it’ll still be the longest stretch of time you’ll have spent with your mother in years, and Jamie will be there beside you the whole time, and she’s always been steady for you. And, you always did love to swim.

Jamie has strangely won Karen’s affection over time, and you only really know this because your mother had stopped making those high pitched humming noises like she’s judging you for your relationship when you would give updates on her over the phone, and more and more over the last five years whenever she calls and Jamie answers, she keeps her on the line for a while before asking for you. 

But even though you have Jamie’s hand in yours now, or maybe precisely because you have Jamie’s hand in yours, it’s strange to be back. 

Your mom picks you up from the airport, and on the car ride to her house Luna will not stop asking you questions about everything she’s seeing outside the window in the back with Jamie, and it’s so lovely, to hear the low hum of Jamie’s laugh mingled with yours when Luna shouts when she’s horses in a field that you pass and tries to count them as best as she can (accidentally skipping eleven, which you correct) before the car zooms away.

You pass your high school that still looks exactly the same, you drive along the road where you failed your drivers test on the first try, you pass the church you used to go to when you were little before your mom decided it wasn’t for you guys anymore, and there isn’t a single ounce of nostalgia in you for any of this. If anything, there’s just a vague resentment, a small creeping under your skin like the very atoms of you recognize that you do not belong. 

But Jamie is here with you, and your little girl is rattling off colors she sees and is telling your mother about how she met the pilot of the airplane, and honestly, you don’t care that you don’t belong here, because you belong with them, and that’s what matters.

//

Your mother’s house is wonderful. 

You don’t realize, until you’re unpacked and the stress of travel has left your system, until you see how much more relaxed in this place your mother is, that maybe you and her really did understand each other more than you ever even knew. 

You never really thought about her being unhappy in a space she forced herself to be in, in a life she thought she should have wanted, until she flicks the radio on and you see her walking around her kitchen and cutting up some apple slices for Luna, who she’s lifted up to sit on the counter beside her.

You never thought of it this way, that maybe your mother was just stuck, too. Maybe when you left, she only tried to drag you back as much as she could because she never considered what unhappiness actually felt like, couldn’t understand how you were able to identify it and refuse it, never considered she was living with it laced in everything she did all this time.

You don’t see it at all, here. You just see her tapping hand along to a tune, her jewelry clinking against the granite countertop, and you think of the joy and the freedom you felt when you finally settled into your first apartment with Jamie. How you finally felt like four walls with a lock and a key were created to keep you safe, not keep you trapped. 

You never considered this about your mother, but now, as she sings along in her terrible voice to the radio, and puts the cutting board into the sink, you think that everyone deserves to feel like they are the beating heart of a home.

//

It’s not that you aren’t having a good time, because you are. You are enjoying yourself, and you aren’t trying to convince yourself of that, it’s actually the truth. You are happy, you are so in love with Jamie, and Luna has never swam so much in her life. Your mother has been great, and you haven’t argued over a single thing since you arrived, haven’t even felt any hostile energy from her. Only openness. Only love.

She’s in the pool with Luna right now, and you’re sitting on a towel you have stretched out on the edge of the water, your feet dipping in just a bit, and you were surprised how readily and enthusiastically your mother said yes earlier when Luna asked if she could go in the pool with her. 

You’re kind of in a trance, as you watch this simple scene before you. Your daughter, swimming with all of the effort and coordination of a little girl with one year of YMCA swim lessons under her belt, kicking her feet absolutely everywhere, her eyes bugged out and foggy behind her little goggles that look like fish. Your mother, laughing and encouraging, telling her she’s doing such a great job, as she keeps walking farther back in the pool to test just how much more Luna can swim to her on her own, her arms outstretched and open for her. Luna, eventually grabbing hold of her as she flails and splashes in the water.

Luna screams over to you, pure elation and pride in her voice as she’s held on your mothers hip in the water, her goggles now hanging around her neck, and asks if you saw how far she swam, and you tell her you did, you saw it all, that she’s such a good swimmer, and your mother is pushing wet strands of hair from her face, is holding her close.

“Come in the pool, mommy!”

“Yeah, come in the pool, mommy.” 

You turn your head when you hear Jamie’s voice, and she’s gotten her bathing suit on and she’s smiling at you so big, she tosses her sunglasses onto your lap, but she pauses a bit.

“You alright?”

You hadn’t considered you weren’t actually, but you suppose you are, because you’re having a good time, so you smile and nod, and it seems to be good enough for Jamie, because she grins and then without warning, runs and cannonballs into the water and it splashes you and Luna is cheering and swimming over to her. Jamie lifts her up high and throws her back into the water, and it’s so fun, and it’s so good, and so pure, and there is so much simple love here, right now. You can see it all in front of you, so why do you feel like you are apart from it?

You thought you were alright, you wanted to be, but until Jamie asked you, you hadn't considered that you aren’t. And you see your mother swimming under water and grabbing at Luna’s feet. You see the pile of pool toys she took Luna to buy at Toys R Us yesterday, you see her putting Luna on her shoulders, and teaching her how to float on her back in the water, and suddenly, you can not get a full breath into your lungs.

You feel like there is static crawling up your neck, and you feel lightheaded, and you’re standing up and going back into the house because maybe if it’s quieter, maybe if you get out of the sun, maybe if you just have a glass of ice water or lock yourself in your room, the darkness and stillness will calm you down.

But the more you take in shaking breaths, the farther you feel from sanity, the farther you feel from stability, and you close the door to the guest room behind you and prop your back up against the hard, cold wood, and you will yourself to calm down. You close your stinging eyes, breathe, in and out, and you try to get your body under control, but all you can hear is buzzing in your ears and you gasping for breath because it’s never enough air, you can’t get nearly enough inside of you, all you can feel is pressure building under your skin, and when you exhale, you are sobbing. 

You clasp your hand over your mouth, close your eyes, because you feel so loud, you feel too much, like you are screaming, like you are an earthquake, but you can still hear your mother, and Luna and her delightful laugh just outside, so you must just be invisible. 

There’s a gentle knock on the door, a shake of the handle, and you hear Jamie say it’s her, so you unlock it and step away as she opens it. She comes inside, a towel pulled around her shoulders, her hair still a bit drippy, her brows pulled together as she shuts the door behind her.

You hear her say, “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” over your shaking sobs and desperate breaths, and her hand is wiping away tears from your cheeks you hadn’t even known were falling. “What’s going on? What happened?”

You cross your arms, like if you just hold your muscles tight enough, everything will stop feeling like it’s caving in on you, and you don’t know what’s going on, you don’t know, you don’t know…

“I don't know. I was just...I was just sitting there and I…I don’t know why I’m like this, god, why am I like this?” You still can’t stop crying, you still feel like you can not breathe.

“Okay, come here.” Jamie pulls you in so tight, and you wrap your arms around her back and hold on to her, because she is the only thing that is real, she is the only thing that is solid and steady and her skin is cool from the water and salty with your tears and she’s telling you to breathe in time with her while she holds you, so you try as best as you can. You focus on her, on the press of her against you, on the chlorine scent on her skin, on her hands on your back keeping you tethered while the rest of your reality swirls and thrashes around in your skull. 

It takes a few minutes, but you get a few deep breaths in and your head feels less like it’s a hurricane of static electricity, more heavy and cloudy and tired, but Jamie is still holding you.

She pulls back slightly, wipes the tears from your cheeks again, even though you haven’t really stopped crying. “You alright?” 

You nod, even though you aren’t really, but you feel like you’re through the worst of it. 

“You want to tell me what happened?”

You don’t reply right away, you’re still sort of in a daze, but you step back from her and go to sit on the edge of your bed, and you shrug, because you still really aren’t sure what happened, all you know is...

“She’s just...she’s so good with her, you know?” Fresh tears tumble down your face and you wipe them away. Jamie just nods. You let out another sob, a wet, sad thing, and your voice is so small when you ask, “Why didn’t I get that?”

“Oh, love.” She’s beside you now, her towel safely under her as she sits down on the comforter, and she pulls you in again, and when you sink into her this time it’s less about a swirling storm around you, it’s more about leaning on her because you feel heavy and worn down and Jamie has always been a safe place to land. Jamie has always kept you afloat. 

You cry into the crook of her neck, and her hands are gentle against your back. She whispers things into your hair that you don’t quite catch, but you don’t really think it matters so much, the exact words that she’s saying. You feel it all the same. It’s soothing, and it calms you, and you aren’t crying anymore, but you still feel wrung.

“Look, I know it’s...corny, or whatever. But...people change. Christ, if you met me even two years before you did, I’d have been the last person you’d volunteer to raise a kid with, let alone hitch your life to, I can promise you that.”

A burst of laughter escapes you, and you press a kiss into the patch of skin closest to your lips, because Jamie has always been this for you, and every time you think you can’t love her more for it, she gives you another reason to.

“And I’m not saying that takes away the bad things, you know? Not saying you shouldn’t demand peace from it. But...the woman she is now wouldn’t do that to you, if she could make those choices again. Problem with time, really, what’s done is done. For better or worse.”

You nod. And Jamie tells you that you should talk to Karen about it, if you want to. Not on this trip maybe, but at some point. 

You think you won’t, you think that’s a bad idea, that she would be reactive and make you second guess everything. That all may be true, but after you take a nap, after you spend the rest of the day in the pool, and go grocery shopping with her, after you cook dinner together and she passes you a bowl of popcorn when you all settle down to watch a movie together, you think it might not be such a bad idea. And you aren’t really worried she will stop speaking to you anymore. You aren't worried she will be cruel to you in the way that she was when you were a teenager. You think, maybe, she might actually try to help you get the answers you don’t have. You think if you ever did tell her, she might feel upset by it all, but not from defensiveness, but because you are in pain, and she didn’t know.

It’s not a conversation for now, and that’s okay. You learn that even though you are still, always, healing, that you can still enjoy her, that you can still love her fully, that you can sit beside her and watch the VHS tape of Matilda that Luna snuck into her suitcase that you found when you unpacked her clothes, and it can still all be good.

//

You and Jamie have taken the guest room, and Luna has been sleeping on the pullout couch. She’s still so small that she doesn’t even really need to use the pullout, could just sleep right on the couch cushions, but she has a lot of fun setting up the bed every night, so you don’t mind. Jamie lets her think that she’s so strong that she pulls it out all on her own, but really Jamie’s got her hand along the side of it helping her along, and the way Jamie’s muscles strain and pop when she does this as you watch from off to the side definitely doesn’t hurt.

You help get the blankets and pillows set up for her, and usually she’s out pretty quickly. It’s the same tonight. A full day of fun in the pool and dinner in town means she’ll be sleeping soundly through the night.

But it’s around midnight when you hear her start crying. You are still up, Jamie slipping into sleep beside you, and you still have the TV on a low hum in the background, but you hear her, you always can. 

Before you can even make your way out of bed, though, she’s knocking on your door, and you open it to find her, holding her stuffed whale and her blanket, tears streaming down her face, her little lip trembling, and absolutely distraught. 

You get on your knees so you’re level with her, and you pull her in and she fits right there in you. Between hiccuping sobs, you manage to get that she had a nightmare, and she’s scared, and she wants to sleep with you tonight. Jamie is awake now and sitting up in bed behind you now, pulling down the covers so Luna can settle in between you.

You keep the TV on, because you know when Luna is like this it doesn’t help her to plunge her back into complete darkness, even if you are beside her.

She woke your mother up, though. You can tell because the crack under your door brightens when the hall light turns on and you can see her footsteps shuffling past your door, and you don’t expect her to knock, thought maybe she was just taking the awoken opportunity to use the bathroom, but a few minutes later, she does. 

The door creaks open, and she sticks her head in, and asks if everything is okay in a whisper. You nod, tell her she can go back to sleep, but she pushes the door open just a little bit further, and you see she’s carrying a small mug in her hand.

“Wasn’t sure if you did this with her, but...always worked for you.”

You sit up and take the warm cup into your hands, it’s light and soothing aroma sending you back into a collection of memories of your mother you had completely forgotten about. 

“What’s this?” Jamie’s voice grumbles beside you.

“Whenever Dani had a nightmare or couldn’t sleep, this always helped. Warm milk with some honey.”

“I forgot about this.”

“You were always such a nervous kid. Had me going through an extra gallon of milk a week just to get you to sleep through the night.”

“Yeah, I...thank you.”

She nods, her hand brushing your shoulder and she presses a light kiss to your head, wishes you goodnight, and then she’s gone, closing the door softly behind her and switching off the hall light.

Luna drinks the milk, and you can feel her nerves smoothing over, the heavy limbed lull of sleep creeping back into her little body.

She settles in between you and Jamie, and you turn off the TV, and she asks you if you can tickle her back, and that always helps to soothe her. You run your hand along the sun-warmed skin under her favorite Princess Jasmine nightgown and you feel her breath even and deep under your palm as she drifts into a peaceful sleep, safe and snug between the two of you.

Jamie’s hand reaches for yours after you pull Luna’s nightgown back down over her body, and she holds it close to her. Your eyes are adjusted to the dark just enough to see her sleepy expression, to see how beautiful she looks when she’s looking at you in moments like this. These soft, quiet, in-between moments that you love so much. 

You fall asleep like this, with your arm draped over Luna, with your hand safely threaded through Jamie’s and pressed against her chest, the three of you the beating heart of your own little home.

[lemoncupcake]

Hey 💛 dif anon here!! Similar question. What are some of your fav Rio moments?

hey, nonnie!! same deal as before, ok? top 5 character moments + top 5 giffing moments under the cut :)

character moments:

the whole scene from 1x01/2x01 with the medieval speech that culminates in him shooting dean. the shot of him laughing while beth aims a gun at him is unmatched, to start with. the medieval line is iconic. and then i have to appreciate the fact that he shoots dean!! the only bad thing in that scene is that dean, unfortunately, ends up surviving afterward. i think we all know i'm a soft!rio gal, but sometimes i enjoy slightly unhinged, badass crime boss rio too, as a treat! lol

the scene of him reuniting with rhea and marcus in 3x02!! soft!rio, man!! i love the shot of him smiling at rhea. i wish they'd delved deeper into his dynamic with rhea instead of giving us only one scene of them together, but i think we can infer a lot from what we got?? or at least, i sure did!! namely that obviously they're bffs who co-parent and before beth came along they weren't against falling back into bed together on particularly lonely nights. and, obviously, i love the model airplane!! the fact that he was building it while in that hotel room, that he was doing something for marcus, it just kills me a little bit.

the scene in 3x06 where he and beth are sitting on the picnic table facing opposite ways and she tells him she can't print anymore. i love that he gives her a little space to be upset. i think it shows that he's not heartless, that he's not "ruining her life" for shits and giggles. he did what he had to do to get his point across while not crossing a line he can't uncross with her imo and he takes no pleasure in knowing that lucy is dead. i think he probably thought he'd be happy with beth's reaction, though. but, instead, it's just another thing they've done to each other, another thing on a really huge pile of horrible things. and he's just tired. and maybe seeing her suffer isn't all that satisfying. so he sits there and lets her cry and he agrees with her, that lucy didn't deserve it, that she was a nice girl. and then i love that they flip the coin. that we get to see him be the one who's hurt and pissed off, too. she shot him! on the pile of horrible things, that's def the biggest and most horrible one. she shot and left him to die!! he gets to be angry about that. i love that he gets to be angry about that, even if only for a second. i wish we'd gotten to a point on the show where they had like a full-out screaming match, where beth saw the damage she'd done and apologized. i wish the showrunners hadn't decided that he's "healed enough to not have scars anymore" because that's just the most laughable thing ever. i love this little pocket of honesty between them and i wish we got more.

that scene at the ob-gyn in 3x03. i love that he's a petty asshole the whole time. like, be honest, you would be too if a woman paid you after having sex with you and kicked you out and then shot you and had the balls to tell you she's pregnant with your baby. lmao, this show really is a telenovela at this point. most importantly, i love the shot when the doctor says she's pregnant and there's all this emotion on his face. becaus he didn't believe her before that moment. and now he's faced with the possibility that he's going to have a baby with beth, that he's going to have another kid, that he's going to be tied with her forever. it's so good!

last, but not least, the scene in 2x07 where he tells beth she's a drug dealer. honestly, beth pretending that she's just a "mom with a side hustle" like crime is anything like selling herbal teas or make-up on the side is kind of getting ridiculous at that point and has only gotten more so as the show goes on. and i mean if it was getting annoying for me, i can't imagine how the guy actually having to hear that on the regular felt lol. i love that rio called her out. very fun for me!! seriously, i love beth, but i really wish she could like get some accountability. anyways, what i love most about this scene is actually not included in this scene. it's the fact that he tells her "who cares?" and then goes to look for jane. and when he doesn't find jane, instead of leaving the blanket there, he gets the dubby for beth. "who cares?", you ask? you! you care! god, i love him so much!! soft boi!rio is everything i want in a fictional male character lmao

giffing moments:

that shot of him smiling at beth in his loft in 2x11

that scene of him reuniting with rhea and marcus in 3x02

that shot of him laughing with his head thrown back in 2x08

that scene where he tucks beth's hair behind her ears in 2x02

that shot of him laughing while beth is aiming his gun at him in 2x01

ty for asking!! :)

[empty-dream]

So I read 86 LN vol 1

S1 anime covers the entire Vol 1 except for the latter's epilogue, so full anime spoiler here.

And as of this writing, I'm still on Vol 2 so the things I mention here are solely those that happen in Vol 1. Idk if a thing happens in the latter volume, gotta dodge spoiler so I don't browse about it.

There was an interview with a person inside the anime industry that basically said "The point of an anime adaptation is not to be an exact replica of the original material, but to shine as its own medium for a story." I forgot who it was and I can't find the interview anywhere for the life of me, but that statement opened my eyes. I agree with it, that's why I can appreciate the differences between LN/manga and anime, especially if they turn out good and/or interesting.

And that's exactly what happens in 86. I'll start with this: I watched the anime first, and after I read the Vol1 novel, I actually like the anime more. Because there are a lot of meaningful original scenes in it

And because the Vol1 novel turns out exactly what I fear when I first watched the anime: that I won't care much about the squadron aside from the main 5. (Look, the anime promotional materials mostly only have Lena and those 5 only. As shocked as I was in the anime, I did have an idea where the story would go from those alone). The rest are barely mentioned. Not even the girls are named in the novel, even though they do talk and Lecca is even prominent in anime.

For example, the second half of the first episode, the one that shows Spearhead squadron's daily life right before Lena contacts them, is anime original scenes. Kujo already dies the moment the novel starts focusing on the squadron. Simply put, a lot of the squadron members that aren't the main 5 or Kaie get a *lot* more focus in the anime, like Daiya, Haruto (For characters who appear on the introduction page, their novel screen time is less than I'd expect), Kujo and Lecca. While the other members often appear in the background and actually behave like equal members instead of glue-them-on figurines.

(Idk if those other members are named and/or designed in the light novel before the anime is a thing or when the anime becomes a thing.)

The anime also adds relevant information in the Raiden's talk with Lena in EP7, like Kaie receiving racial abuse from 86 (in fact in both versions, she is the first one to get highlighted about this) and Haruto also having prominent Giadian Empire blood like Anju and Shin. These weren't in the novel.

I might be just nitpicking here because I love Kaie and Haruto, but see, this scene is amazing on its own. This is where Raiden and the squad reveal the weight of their motivation all along, that they *each* have different backgrounds and different kinds of sufferings, yet they are all sentenced to die, and they all choose to fight because they know no side is saintly but some things are still worth fighting for.

The prominent characters' deaths (besides Kaie's) are often mentioned with only one or two dry lines. I expected at least Daiya's to be detailed more, but it's just that so matter-of-fact-ly. Well I came from the anime, so I guess it's normal if I expected something as heartbreaking.

I broke down HARD at the last half of EP10 and that is nowhere in the Vol 1 novel. (Having Hands Up to the Sky playing in the background is also an advantage for being an anime. Fuck that song, I now play it 24/7 in despair)

Having a lot of original anime scenes really complement the story's nature. That there are two different sides of life here, it's not just Lena's or 86's only. And those couldn't have intertwined if not for their willingness to listen and communicate.

I know I mentioned this some days ago but really, I can't get over how many of the merch are Lena (and Annette) being cute doing cute stuff while the story itself is actually depressing. Merch staffs know the market lol.

- Novel side -

That said, the novel does have an advantage that the anime/visual media doesn't: Internal explorations and explanations.

It's obvious from the get-go, but Asato confirms that the inspiration of Republic of San Magnolia and its racial discrimination and genocide is taken from Nazi Germany in WW2. The Republic who favors the white/silver haired-eyed Alba drives Colorata out of the 85 sectors, overtakes their properties, and forcibly sends the now-called-86 to either fight their war and die, or work on the wall and die.

The life inside the Republic is also elaborated on. Class always exists, even inside one race only. The center of the republic is for the elites, Lena and Annette's families included. The farther a sector is from the center, the lower the education and economy there is. Most of the military come from these areas, which explains why Lena herself is in difficult situation. Since no one in the military is either capable or willing to bring change.

It's *insane* how easily the Republic could create such vile lies, and how easily the majority of the citizens go along with it.

Gotta admit, Asato does a good job at foreshadowing the fate of the 86, the truth that we can only see after Ep7 of anime. It is mentioned that supposedly, 86 soldiers will be welcomed back once their 5-years term is up. Lena once wonders about it, but ultimately she buys it thinking that surely they must have come back to another sector. She only realizes it's utter bullshit after Annette points out how, 9 years later, they have never seen even one Colorata inside the Republic when they should have seen at least some. This also shows that Lena has never ventured to the other sectors to find out more, probably due to work or maybe she's still a sheltered noblewoman in the end.

And the mentality of the majority of Alba is shown differently. Whereas the anime uses the academy classroom to show how deeply rooted the racism against 86 is, the novel uses Lena's mother who a) more or less does the same as the classroom, and b) presses Lena to get married and preserve their pure noble bloodline. This, when the nobility doesn't actually mean anything anymore. This version shows not only Alba's racism but also Lena's strained family life.

There is a scene of an Alba high school valedictorian who, during his graduating speech, says “My friends died fighting the Legion.” I’m not sure this will make it to the anime, and it’s just a minor scene in the novel, but the weight of that scene is heavy.

The science of Para-Raid is explained, which has something to do with tapping the collective consciousness of humanity and connecting it to one another. A bit far-etched but I guess that works, science fiction and all. But I like the part where despite (or maybe because?) of connecting via hearing only, the other senses are faintly receptive as well. For example, one can sense that the other side is biting their lips in frustration, something like that. Of course, actual real life things like sensing the hidden bitterness or elation in a talking partner's words are present, this being a story where listening matters.

The novel elaborates on Raiden's stay with the Alba old woman. He calls her Old Hag, but it's clear he greatly respects her. The part where she screams and curses in the middle of the road at the Republic soldiers who take Raiden and the other children away stays in Raiden's mind forever, and so it does to me. Ngl it is quite a chilling scene.

Same with the story of the previous Laughing Fox, Theo's Alba commander. It turns out, the entirety of Theo's first squadron didn't like him at all and bet on how fast he'd tuck tail and run back to the Republic. When he faced his death the way Theo explained, he sent a message to Theo revealing he knew about it and knew his place to not ask for acknowledgment or forgiveness. This made Theo regret why he didn't try to talk more with his commander and he keeps thinking about it forever. Now it makes even more sense why Theo, blunt as he is, is willing to listen to Lena and when he snaps, he wonders if his late commander would do the same.

What actually happens in Kurena's backstory is also touched upon. While in the anime some viewers could think "Man, I get where you're coming from but chill out." The novel graphically shows her parents being toyed on by the Alba soldiers while her sister protected her, the two could only watch, and then the same sister got sent to the battlefield to die. Now at that, anyone would think "Man, no wonder she can't chill out. Not with all that trauma."

I also like the addition that Lena can sense Kurena is the one who dislikes her the most.

The novel describes greatly that it isn't just Alba and Non-Alba. Essentially speaking, Non-Alba is called Colorata, and they consist of different race groups as well. Just as Alba is associated with the color silver/white, the other race have their associated colors as well. Asato assigns races to the named members in Vol1 and what their distinguished color features are. This also explains why Anju is exiled despite looking like an Alba.

It's a question that I pondered on when I first saw Shin's armor plates, and that I pondered harder on when Chise died: What happens if there is no armor plate to carve its processor's name's on? So it turns out Shin would substitute it with anything; piece of wood or some random piece of metal. For Chise's case, Raiden, Chise's leader, suggested using the wing of Chise's in-progress airplane model. Which did my heart so bad because I'm strangely fond of Chise and finding out that in his spare time in his limited lifespan, he was working on an airplane model made me sob.

I'm not particularly into mecha, and could care less about how it moves. But Asato did a good job describing the fight between a glorified suicide car and a line of brand-new solid A-grade tanks. Special mention to I-IV because wow the concept arts for all the mechas are so cool, even though I don't really understand. (Asato even said to I-IV "Go draw a tank so horrible it's stupid for the Juggernaut" and I-IV came up with the current Juggernaut)

You know how the Republic greeting is "Glory to San Magnolia and the five-colored flag"? I won't disclose who says this in what situation, but there is someone of Colorata saying "If you hate colors so much, you should have just colored your flag white" AND OOOH THE BURN SO HOT HOT HOT

Tl;dr: Bottom line is, I personally enjoy Vol 1 because I already watched the anime and got attached to it. If I were to read the vol 1 first, most likely I wouldn't fall this hard for the series. Hell, maybe I wouldn't even pick it up in the first place because I knew it'd be depressing. But this is not to say that the LN is bad. It’s very good, it just does not really touch the lives of other soldiers whereas that’s the very thing that I love from the anime.

[matan4il]

Buddie 311 meta

The airplane rescue that kicks off 311 once again forces me to shout about Buddie being battle boyfriends. That trope goes back to antiquity, when the couple fighting together as one on the battlefield were also understood to be intimately involved (it was only later generations’ homophobia that removed the sexual/romantic aspect of this trope while still preserving all others). So let’s appreciate the level of trust, nonverbal communication and ability to coordinate moves that was required from Buddie in order to rescue the guy. They’re not just co-workers, they truly are partners during these calls in a way that none of the others are. Add to that how some shots of during the ep are about them looking climatic AND AT EACH OTHER - AT THE SAME TIME - and Buddie could easily restore this tradition to its original meaning.

When that lady asked whether they were single, it’s not that they looked at each other, it’s that they FIRST looked at each other. The way this comic scene is usually played out is they’d first look at her like she was crazy, then they’d look at each other IF they look at each other at all. But nope, not Buddie, they first and foremost have eyes for each other. This shifts the emphasis of this comic moment onto Buddie, especially since it’s not being played out with characters we know, care about or will ever see again. Even though the craziness of the mom is supposed to be the comic point, the way they did the scene actually puts all of the focus on Buddie and it’s not by chance that we’ve all taken note of it.

When Maddie looks at Albert and talks about how surprising it is that he turned out as well as he did, she doesn’t start her sentence with “Albert,” making it clear who she’s talking about. She starts with a more ambiguous “he” while looking in his AND Buck’s direction. So until she makes it clearer, toward the end of what she says, we can only assum who “he” is, Albert or Buck since what she says could fit either. Don’t forget, we got confirmation in this ep that the Buckleys, while good people, were not good parents and Maddie even made a point that they did make mistakes with Buck, as they did with her. She looks very soft and loving, like she’s happy for Albert, but her gaze is also on her own brother happily playing with Eddie’s son. That the show gives us a second to wonder which one of the younger brothers she’s talking about is a gentle reminder that what she says about Albert is true for Buck as well. He too could have grown up to be all sorts of messed up, but is instead this amazing and kind soul, who has found his place in the world, his people, and in that moment is so clearly content in his own skin. In fact, Buck started out in s1 as a bit of a screw up, so this is a reminder of just how far he’s come and the path he managed to carve for himself. We can see this as an invitation to do what Chim and Maddie did there with Albert, to look at Buck and marvel at who he is and the life that he’s made for himself.

Justin and Miles, wow. Once again, we have a same sex couple on a call. We don’t get that often enough, but in 2 out of 3 cases where we have, they stood out in how involved the show got us in their personal story. We got a whole lifetime together with Thomas and Mitchell in ep 208 and now, a whole “How I Met Your Daddy” condensed into one call. Also, that girl who helped them by reading out Justin’s love letter, Katie? I could easily draw parallels between Mustin and Buddie, and Katie and the fandom, she’s totally all of us, screaming at Buddie “kiss already” and willing to lend them her voice in order to make it happen (hello, tons of meta analysis and fics). Also, a request. Since we now have to confirmed cases of calls returning, can Mustin please be a repeated call, too? Maybe they have some sort of an emergency in the middle of their proposal... <3

The whole domesticity vibe in an ep that wasn’t even about Buck or Eddie and in which we haven’t actually seen them so much as talking to each out is a wonder. We have it because they are so *together* at all times. Even when they’re across the room from each other in Eddie’s house, Eddie is still staring at Buck and Chris playing together while talking about the family we choose, a clear reflection of the way he smilingly stared at Buck and Chris playing together in 310 (to add to this, if they caught up with the Buddie fandom and were all like… “oh no, NO, you got this all wrong,” the mid-season break after 310 would have been the perfect place to change directions with Buddie. After all, the Xmas episode domesticity can be excused away. After all, 310 was about the holidays and that’s all about family and fluff, right? Yet, not only do they continue with this direction, they give us a clear visual repetition of Eddie’s gaze at his boys playing together). The way Buck not only feels he’s not a guest in Eddie’s, but he also expects Maddie to be aware of it and is bewildered she thought he would have to bring a gift when he comes there. I’ve had friends crashing on my couch for several months and while I loved them with my whole heart, it was still clear they were in *my* house and they *were* guests. It’s a big deal, to consider yourself as more than a guest in someone else’s house. When everyone’s eating together at the station, Buddie are automatically by each other’s side and Buck keeps giving Eddie meaningful looks while Albert and Eddie find a connection through sports. At the karaoke bar, they’re by each other, sharing laughs and non-verbal communication. It just automatically reminded me of that ep 208 line, “all we ever wanted was to go together.” Listen. LISTEN. These levels of domesticity for two “platonic” friends are truly out of this world. NOTES: Thank you so much to @taxingninja​. You always make the most beautiful of gifs with these gorgeous artistic touches to accompany my yada yada, but you’re also encouraging of others to go and create. You’re a treasure and I’m always so grateful to and for you. 

[nyarmand]

Hello Penny! How have you been? Alright, I hope. I know it's been awhile, sorry. How is your job and school and professors and all that going?

I don't really have anything to say, I went to the store and got a compliment on my haircut, which was nice, just thought I'd check in with you, since it seems like you maybe haven't been feeling your best, and send a bunch of love your way.

Idk, I just really like you. You're super cool and interesting, and I like seeing you on my dash, you make my day better and I really want you to have a happy and contented life, like you deserve.

Also, have you seen those complications on YouTube of Chuuya screaming? My favorite is when you can hear him screeching in like an airplane before busting through the ceiling (when Daiza is in an attic with a gaint cake, I think?), like EEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

It always makes me laugh, he's so little and angry.

Anyways, be well - 🌻

hi!!! i've been okay :) classes are going pretty well, i'm REALLY enjoying the one law class i'm taking (stretches out my little hands for more) so in that regard i am just living my very best life. the rest of them are decent but it is hard to beat that one. i've actually started trying to take up poetry on the suggestion of a girl in one of my classes and i think i'm at least not horrible at it lol. i think prose is still more my style but poetry isn't half bad either, especially free verse because fuck rhyme and meter i do what i want.

unfortunately i do not have the job anymore :( it was a temporary position but wow they did not make it clear just how temporary it was going to be. i worked from thursday through to the saturday of the following week (except on sunday) and then that was it. so my contributions to the college tuition are not exactly skyrocketing. i did win a scholarship though, it's small but i take what i can get. why must college be sooooooo expensive the cruel hand of capitalism crushes me

i'm also considering signing up for a little show at my university i kind of want to try comedy... i might be awful at it but it could also be fun, who knows. i haven't made a real decision yet though i'm too anxious about possibly being bad at it lol

oooh hair compliments are some of my favorites. what kind of cut is it :0 would love to hear details.

thank you very much :) your asks always cheer me up, i love hearing from you and i hope you have a happy life too!

YES

CHUUYA NOISES ARE SO FUNNY

he'll just go 'HAH?!' and my day will instantly be improved. like of course he's gonna be yelling and screaming and such when he's literally being taken over by a god of destruction and calamity it's the fact that he keeps doing it all the time that just makes it perfect. and the SCREECHING i know EXACTLY what scene you're thinking of and it's one of my favorite examples. dazai's just sitting there with a whole little party set up complete with absolutely enormous cake (boy did the cake look good) and then just the quiet (at first) scream slowly getting louder and louder and the war between 'yay, chuuya's here' and 'oh god he's gonna come in through the window, goodbye cake' and you can SEE dazai having basically the same reaction i mean he sighs and looks towards the window like 'and i went to all this effort.'

i think the screaming is his internal rock star coming out. i mean he IS voiced by taniyama kishou, it's to be expected. (speaking of which, have you listened to any of his songs outside of the ones he did for bsd? because i've been listening to this one he wrote apparently way before bsd, 'sugar', and there's one part where it DIRECTLY MENTIONS chuuya (the real one) and it cracks me up. irl foreshadowing. plus it's just a catchy song) whole reason i'm weak for aus with chuuya as a singer is because it just already works. he might as well be. in my mind it is nakahara chuuya singing the bungou stray dogs openings. i manifest it.

also let's talk for a second about how i can count on one hand the amount of times chuuya yells about something that is completely unrelated to dazai. those two are a riot.

also also on that subject ranpo was so brave to pull that trick with the book like if he'd gotten even a little bit wrong he would have been so pulverized even yosano couldn't do anything. he would have been dust. this man intentionally pissed off someone who literally has a god of destruction inside of him. really brave... and also really stupid

he IS so little and angry though bsd wan was on point making him a chihuahua bc thats exactly the vibes. tiny loud and ferocious. i love him. one of the best characters in bungou stray dogs and that's just a fact. [claps] where is he asagiri show me the tiny angry man