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slutt4ellie · 4 months ago

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Outlawed Romance

masterslist

Breaking the rules seemed all too easy with her..

Summary -> It’s 1868 and you’ve ran in with one of your childhood best friends, while rekindling your friendship it starts to become clear that’s not all the two of you are.

Warnings -> ONE SHOT. / Sheriff!Ellie / Forbidden love troupe bc it’s sooo good 😞 / Reader has a husband / Western lingooo / Alcohol usage / Blood / Description of injuries / Kissing / Cheating / Both Reader and Ellie haven’t done anything with girls (trying to be realistic!! not tryna baby them or smth.) / Homophobia / Mentions of death / Angst / Fingering (E and R!receiving) / Mentions of forcing (swear it’s nothing serious!) / (Lmk if I missed anything else!)

WC: 10k

(Semi proofread!!)

Thinking back to before. Everything seemed so normal.

- -

1868

The sun was crashing on your forehead as you sat outside the general store waiting for those doors to finally open, hearing horses hoofs hitting the hot dried dirt was starting to get repetitive and in all honesty, annoying.

The day was already to long, you were out early in the morning, set to buy some items for your house which was lacking some fresh new food.

Your eyes quickly caught sights of a green pair, immediately understanding those could only belong to one woman’s.

Ellie’s eyes.

“How ya doin��?” She chimes sat promptly on her horse. One hand holding tightly onto the saddles horn, subconsciously making sure her grip is enough to hold her.

“I’m okay- just waiting out here for Mr. Rivington to open the doors” You smile back at her, referring to the store owner. Oliver Rivington.

Yours and Ellie’s friendship was nothing from new.

You both grew up in the same area, both of your fathers being screwed at the hip allowing yours and Ellie’s friendship to sprout.

It wasn’t till your father got sick where Ellie’s dad pulled back a little, you’d like to think it was nothing out of resentment. Some people grow apart that’s all.

And unfortunately that’s what also happened with you and Ellie. Because even though you’re both on good terms and every time the both of you see each other it rarely goes without interacting, you truly weren’t as close as before.

And you don’t spite her for that. Because if anything you pulled back a bit more as you both grew up.

It really just happened since you were no longer forced in close proximity with her. You and Ellie weren’t similar.

“Ah- I see then.” She nods before picking back up her words. “Surely waiting out here can’t be to fun? Would you care to join me for a drink in the saloon” She ask, despite the length you are apart you notice how her teeth tugs in her bottom lip, something she does when she’s nervous.

“As much fun as that seems, quite busy today? James has me out running errands.” You sigh out, dragging you hand to swipe across your sweaty forehead.

James was your husband, it wasn’t your choice but he wasn’t the worst man. At least compared to the others you’ve seen that is. Either way, say you had a choice being with him would not be on your list.

You can tell he’s also not to fond of the marriage, you assume he sees you as a weight. Shackles which are tied to his ankle. He used to get around, at least that’s what people around town talk about. Either way you disregard it.

Not like you can pull back, leaving him and moving far away wasn’t in the playbook.

She only nods in response, getting out a few words in the process. “Drink can’t hurt?” She smiles.

You probably shouldn’t, you have a long day and the last thing you need is James yelling at you because you “Took to long” which would be nothing from new.

He wasn’t always the happiest person in the world to say the least.

But as Ellie looks at you, you start to cave. One drink truly can’t hurt. Catching up with your childhood best friend, it sounded enticing.

“You tryin’ to get me is trouble Miss Williams?” You smile and stand up. Tilting your head as if you’re questioning her. Knowing your decision has already been made.

“Never Ma’am? Just simply puttin’ out a suggestion.” She smiles right back at you, tilting her head in the direction the saloon, only being a tiny walk over.

“Then i’m sold I suppose.” You smile. Feet moving on their own to start to walk in the direction.

Getting there took less then a minute, the longer process being as Ellie hops off her horse to tie it outside, making eye contact with you once again.

Ellie pushes past the doors finding a spot pushed up against the bar. You follow after her sitting down watching as she gets you both a drink.

“So…” She pushes your drink in your direction before bringing her own to her lips, dosing a quick swig “Tell me about yourself, seeing as we haven’t had a proper conversation in awhile.” She ask.

You can only shrug in response. “I wanna say nothin’ you don’t already know. I’m sure not as interesting as you law stories.” You chuckle bringing your drink to your lips.

“Please-“ She shakes her head, waving her hand dismissively. “Im sure your stories are just as interesting.”

You smile and shrug “Made lemonade this morning?” You chuckle. “Living up to your expectations?” You ask joking around with her.

“I’m intrigued!” Ellie jokes hand cuffing her drink once again as she brings it up to her lips, green eyes not leaving yours in the process.

“What about you miss sheriff?” You ask your smile not fading.

“I might just quit if that stays my nickname.” Ellie chuckles looking at you. “And just like you, nothin’ you don’t hear about.”

“Husband?” You ask.

“No.” She quickly responds, having her eyes trail down, you see Ellie build up a guard, it happens quickly but definitely isn’t ignored from you.

Yet before you could mention it she’s already talking.

“James, how’s he?” She questions.

Ellie is aware of your marriage, not like you’d have to hide it, or really like you could hide it? If you’re honest she had to be one of the first to hear about it. You were still young when you were married and yours and Ellie’s friendship hadn’t hit the point where you rarely talked.

Ellie was actually one of the first to know. And when you told her she wasn’t secretive about the dislike to him. Saying that he’s a pig. Telling you about the different stories she’s heard from girls around town.

She tried to convince you to deny it, tell your dad to find some different guy that would be sure to waltz in. Knowing you got a lot of attention from then men around town.

But even if you wanted to, your dad wanted a man to be able to care for you when he’d reach those doors, the ones which were death.

And unfortunately, after falling ill, he was just about there.

So the decision wasn’t changing. Not when James and his family had money which would guarantee that your life would be set.

Especially when his health was drastically getting worse.

“He’s okay, tomorrow he’s headed off for the mountains.” You nod.

Ellie looks at you and nods. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?” She questions taking the last sips of her drinks, waiting for your response in the process.

“To sleep outside apparently- that’s what i’ve got from him.” You say. Trying to ignore the clear dissatisfaction in the fact he doesn’t share much with you.

“Families well off. No?” She questions, eyes continuing to look at you. Ellie assumed there hunting for money, having big animals like bear and moose being up around those parts.

“Think it’s some manly bonding thing with his father. Not for the money.” You joke looking at her.

“Oh, as always.” Ellie smiles right back you.

Soon your eyes trail to the bottom of the glass, seeing that it’s now empty causes you to frown. The conversation was nice but you were behind due to this little side quest with Ellie. And you had to be soon returning back home to make some food for James.

So you bid Ellie a smile and sigh out. “Well I should be goin’…early mornin’ and I feel i’ll be having a late night.” You nod towards Ellie, thankful for the drink she ending up buying for you.

“Shame- we should do it again, maybe can swing by your place tomorrow?..” She looks at you. It’s random to say the least.

You and Ellie have gone a few years with just little back and forths, and not that they were bad, detouring you from meeting up with her. It’s just you and Ellie are now grown, no longer living in your kid fantasy. So her wanting to meet up was random.

“It’s a hassle, the house is off trail. The last thing i’d want you to be doing is riding at night.” You say. Hoping maybe Ellie will get the little memo.

“It’s fine. Swear by it.” Ellie doesn’t get it.

So you comply.

“Okay- maybe after the sun falls below the horizon, James will be gone by-“ You start, not before Ellie’s voice laps yours.

“After sun goes down- okay!” She smiles.

You weren’t sure if she was going to show, the sun was far below the horizon at this point.

James had left early in the morning, not waiting for you to get up to give you a proper goodbye. But then again.

Waking up without his dent in the mattress wasn’t horrible.

So now you feel like you’re a sitting duck. Waiting to see if the auburn hair girl really does show. Which was starting to seem like it wasn’t going to happen.

It had to be an hour past sun down, and now as you wait you’re starting to feel extremely fucking stupid. Your legs moved themselves standing up to get out of the chair you’ve unfortunately got comfortable in.

The chair had your tiredness slowly start to creep on the sidelines, your eyes growing heavy. So you feel like biting the bullet will be a bit easier. You’re a few seconds from sliding down your dress when you hear a pair of knocks.

You knew it was Ellie, there’s never people who go off trail to meet your little home. So you just sigh out. “Ellie best you get goin’, I’m headin’ to sleep any minute now” You close your eyes while still standing, hoping you hear the sound of her horse galloping away, a sign she’s gone.

But no.

“Can I come in?” She sighs. “Please?..” It’s followed by a long silence, Ellie on the grasp of giving up, but then she hears your door open and both of your eyes meeting.

You weren’t excepting the sight of Ellie. I mean you didn’t have something in mind, but to see her face having dried blood and her eye a dark purple.

That wasn’t even in the picture?

“The fuck- what happened?” You say helping her inside your home.

“Law stories” She smiles, calling back to the conversation inside the saloon. Yet you weren’t laughing because you were actually fucking worried.

You find yourself grabbing a rag and going to get water out of the bucket planted inside the kitchen. “Don’t joke.” You look at her rubbing the rag down Ellie’s face.

“Yes Ma’am” Ellie jokes closing her eyes as the cloth drags along her face. “Just a couple of men came down to Mr. Rivingtons store, waving there guns like a couple of fools.” She sighs out.

“And you did what, run head first into them?” You joke rubbing the cloth lightly against her bruised eye.

“No-“ Ellie chuckles opening her eyes. “But they were dealt with, so nothin’ to worry about” Ellie shakes her head.

After a long silence, you mainly trying to figure out what “Dealt with” meant Ellie finally speaks once again.

“My face clean?” She looks at you.

Ellie’s face had to be clean a solid minute ago, it just happened to…blank on you.!

You quickly nod backing up and going into the kitchen. The fresh water now turning dirty due to Ellie’s beaten up arrival.

Dreading for the morning where you’ll have to run over to the well to collect fresh water.

Ellie talks from the living room. “You’ve never invited me to your place y’know?” Ellie says, the tone has something hidden, maybe a tinge of sadness. You’re not fully able to read it..

“You never asked?” You reply sheepishly from the kitchen cleaning off your hands, making sure there’s now no more grime.

“Once you got that husband of yours- we never hanged out much. You know if i’m being honest.” Ellie says clearing her throat.

And now the tone is easily recognizable as jealously, yet you couldn’t pin why she was feeling jealously.

Maybe it was the fact she didn’t have a husband yet.

But Ellie was pretty, so understanding why she didn’t. You never understood it, she was capable, she just fucking didn’t.

“No one ever stopped you from coming down here Ellie.” You say turning your head to look at her from the kitchen. “You’re always welcomed, you know that.” You say.

“Fair.” Ellie says and looks at you from the kitchen.

There’s so much undoubtable tension now. She doesn’t seem like the Ellie you remember, which wasn’t shocking. You’re both old now. But the way she’s talking about you and your husband almost seems condescending.

Ellie senses she should’ve thought about her word choice a bit more. Making the quick decision to nervously stand up and starts making her way towards you. “Sorry-“ She starts.

You just shake you head and smile. “Don’t apologize- sure you meant no harm from it.” You clear your throat spitting out your next sentence to clear the awkwardness. “Do you want a drink or-“ You ask your eyes shifting to your hands.

Ellie smiles and nods. “Please- thank you” She says, eyes watching as you pour her a glass of what seems like whiskey.

You hand her the drink watching as Ellie takes it, she takes a quick swig. “You alright there?” Ellie questions looking at you.

“Oh yeah” You shake you head before looking down. You move your body once more, grabbing a glass pouring yourself a drink.

“Sorry my patchin’ up skills aren’t the best” You chuckle easing the previous awkwardness, then turning your head to get a good look at Ellie’s cuts.

“Better then what I would’ve done.” Ellie smiles and shakes her head, emphasizing your job was more then okay. “I would’ve just let them sit.” Ellie smiles.

“What- Ellie you can’t just let cuts sit? You could get sick.” And it was true. There’s been many infections from open wounds. Despite them being small. And the worry Ellie might have that fate did worry you.

She nods. “I’ll just swing by over here every time I need assistance” She chuckles looking at you.

“Doctors are sure to be better then me.” You chuckle.

Ellie shrugs and just looks at you. “Your company will make up for it.” Ellie sighs out. Eyes still Inattentively watching you.

You smile and look at her. “What are you thinkin’ about?” You question, her eyes nervously peeling to the wall behind you.

“Nothin’, honest!” But Ellie definitely wasn’t being honest with you, not even one fucking bit.

Ellie couldn’t remember a time she wasn’t fond of you, since she was a kid you caught her attention. It was pathetic in all honesty, it should’ve ended when you got married. But it just didn’t..

It was making it impossible for her to get out of this loop.

Ellie knew it was gross and messed up. She should have had eyes for the multiple men rested in Redwater. (The town you and her grew up in)

But none of them hit the boxes you did.

it’s like she couldn’t help falling in love.

If Ellie could call it that, if anything she may have been a slight bit infatuated, knowing those feelings were not reciprocated, and never will be..

But it didn’t matter when you two would talk.

Because in love, or infatuated. Talking to you was worth it.

When you two slowly fell apart Ellie found herself a little lost. Not sure if trying to save the friendship would work, or maybe it would just have her come off too strong or pushy. So she didn’t try.

She watched, of more so heard you got married. Refusing to show up to the wedding. Telling everyone else she caught a bug. Because she couldn’t be honest that she felt physically repulsed by the idea of you with James.

And selfishly she did wish it was her. Knowing that she would 100% treat you better than that asshole.

James was scrum of the earth. She knew that.

He would talk about you as if you were a prop for his life.

She would hear him constantly in the saloon late at night, as she was drowning her feelings, an unhealthy but easy coping strategy. He would talk about stuff she wouldn’t repeat. Often painting you as some disgusting figure, Ellie knew it was all a lie.

He was disgusting, he knew no one would say shit to you, and he was right.

Because even Ellie said nothing, And it’s not like she could. Say she did it’s not like you could leave him. That wasn’t in the playing cards for woman.

“I should be goin’ bit dark out?” Ellie sighs out looking at you hesitantly. Hoping that you can’t read eyes.

You shrug. “You’re welcome to stay over?” You offer. “Better then riding back into town?”

Ellie immediately smiles and nods. “Yes!” She then clears her throat, realizing that ‘yes’ seemed a little desperate. She quickly rearranges her words.. “I mean as long as i’m not intruding’ your space” She says.

You then chuckle in result of Ellie’s fast and eager yes, it reminded you of when you were little girls. Your father always said how energetic she was. Never bein’ able to sit her down.

“Wouldn’t have offered if I believed you were intrudin’?” You say while looking at her bringing your glass back up to your lips.

“Don’t want to be sendin’ a bruised up girl home anyway..!” You chuckle watching as a laugh falls between Ellie’s lips.

And the environment ending up changing once your eyes met Ellie’s lips. Because suddenly it felt like a lot of tension sprouted which was overall weird.

And you can’t even understand why was tension being created with you and Ellie. All you were doing is watching her laugh, no weird intent was behind the closed doors. Yet you’re not sure if Ellie got that message because you watched as her eyes were dancing between your lips and eyes.

Maybe it was innocently, but it was weird.

So you quickly turn your head a bit sideways to the living room. “Would you like to sit?” You ask looking at Ellie.

Ellie was quick to snap out of that “sappy” moment. If you could call it that, it was hardly a moment. Either way it had her attention fully dwell on it, she couldn’t help but wonder if that was her open. A chance to kiss you, and maybe she just missed it?

Maybe you wanted her to kiss you..?

And Ellie wasn’t thinking.

Like always.

But she didn’t want that to be the last chance she ever gets, so with that she leans forward pressing her lips to yours.

And when that happens your mind didn’t skip the chance to go shell shock? Because why the fuck was Ellie Williams, the girl you’ve known almost your whole life, someone who can easily still be considered your best friend kissing you!

What was even happening??

You quickly pull your face back, watching as her eyes shoot open, colour draining from her face, having her turn pale and sick looking.

She knows she made a fucking mistake. What if you told the law about what she’s done, she’d be lucky to live after that moment. So she quickly stutters out a sentence.

“F-fuck i’m so-so sorry?” Ellie says running her hands through her hair and stepping further away from you, she doesn’t even know why she did it- you have a husband, Ellie fuking knew that??

She didn’t understand why she couldn’t just get that through her thick skul-

Her thoughts blanked.

And she didn’t even process why.

Her mind just stopped.

Obviously not processing the lips which are now planted right back on hers.

Ellie’s lips were far softer then James, while his were chapped, hers were soft. She was gentle moving her hands along you face with care. While on the other hand he was a bit more rough.

She was also warm, something you picked up fast as her a hands rested on your cheeks reciprocating the kiss.

Ellie’s lips leave yours, kissing your cheek and down to your jaw and neck, her tongue poking out in the process.

“We shouldn’t be doing this..” You say hands in her hair. Ellie only replies with a quick. “Do you want me to stop sweetheart.” And she does mean it when she says it.

All she needs is a simple yes and she’ll pull back in an instant, but a part of her wishes you’ll response with be a solid “No”.

And that it was, because as she said it you were quick to shake you head giving her a short “No-no keep going.”

Ellie nods and continues to kiss your neck, hands on your waist as you both move to your bedroom.

Once you get to your bed you’re laid down, Ellie lips once again finding yours as she stays on top. Her hands trail down your dress, her fingertips just reaching the bottom hem of it before you speak up.

“Can we..just kiss please.” You ask looking up at her.

“Course darlin’..” Ellie says as she nods fast and leans in moving her hand up to cuff your cheek, as she once again as she kisses you. She was honestly a bit relieved you stopped her. Ellie didn’t know what the fuck she was doing, and she really didn’t want to disappoint you in any way. So your interpretation saved her in a way.

You lean your head a bit more up breaking the kiss to connect with Ellie’s neck, you heard her breath in your ear. It was a bit irregular and fast leading you to understand that she’s definitely just as nervous as you. It gave you closure knowing you weren’t the only one freaking the fuck out.

Your lips continued to trail all over her neck, hearing short noises of approval. Your hand went to the back of her neck to rub it slowly and softly, trying to ease her nerves as you work on your own.

Ellie pulls her head up a bit so your lips disconnect with her neck, she’s eager to feel your lips back on hers. So once she makes that gap she moves down to kiss you once again.

“You’re so pretty..” She sighs into your mouth once your lips meet once again, she’s quick to intertwine your hands with yours. “It drives me crazy” She says softly.

You and Ellie stopped kissing after what felt like forever, it was getting late and both of you were in need for a good rest.

Her hands wrapped around your laying down figure, head finding it’s way in the crook of you neck. That being one of the final things you remember before you drifted into a deep sleep.

You couldn’t remember if you’ve ever felt warmth in your bed like you had with Ellie.

You had James for awhile now, but every time you woke up with him it was never warm. He would never stick by your side even in sleep, not that it bothered you. Say he did you probably wouldn’t have liked it.

So it was so weird how with Ellie you didn’t question or interject it.

You let everything happen on your own accord.

She was still well rested arm draped over your stomach as her lips found a spot on your neck.

It was weird, being so intimate with Ellie. A girl.

You knew it was wrong, but it was Ellie. She wasn’t just somebody you could throw to the side and act like it never happened. That just wasn’t realistic.

But you didn’t know what to do, because this most likely couldn’t continue. It made you feel as if you were gross. Sneaking around with a girl, knowing how that’s perceived and looked at.

You’ve heard how some have died from that, even deemed witchery from some. And really, you weren’t sure you were ready to be on that list..?

Ellie’s eyes slowly opened watching as yours were planted on the ceiling, she saw the look in your eyes, she could tell you were thinking. It almost made her nervous. Wondering if you were thinking of no longer being friends or something. Ellie couldn’t take that.

“Hey.” Ellie says, your eyes turn to the sound of her voice, far more raspy in the morning.

“Hi.” You look back at her.

It’s never this awkward with Ellie, most of the times you can’t get her to stop talking. But not today apparently, because she was silent. Not really sure what to say?

Ellie sits up on your bed, looking around your bedroom. She sees the many shrines which represent your husband. Little stuff filled with the hobbies he probably enjoyed. The only thing she could distinct for you was your clothing.

She hated it.

Neither of you wanted to mention how Ellie ended up in your bed, or even what transpired last night. Fearing that if you say it out loud it might just become all that more real.

You sit up too, turning your head to look at Ellie.

Finally she speaks. “Sleep okay?” She ask moving her hand up to bite her fingernails a nervous tick she’s had since she was a kid.

“Mhm.” You nod slowly. Not wanting to admit it maybe just be the best sleep you’ve had in years. You didn’t want to be that theatrical.

“Good.” Ellie nods and looks at you.

Ellie then looks around, she knows she can’t stay here any longer..not when the items of your husband feel like it’s staring her down.

Judging her..

“I should really head out.-“ Ellie says looking at you.

You only nod. Her leaving might be the best thing right now, you can’t take this awkwardness which is so fucking foreign for the both of you.

“Yeah- yeah that’s a good idea.” You say looking at Ellie as her figure stands up straightening out her wrinkled clothing.

“I’ll be seeing’ ya then.” Ellie says clearing her throat leaving your bedroom, the sound of the front door closing following no to long after.

And you want to punch yourself for being so naive?

You foolishly believed that things would quickly go back to normal. You and Ellie would have your small greetings, like every time but you quickly realized that wasn’t happening.

Ellie was avoiding you, that was no secret. It’s been a week since that moment that you two shared in your house and you haven’t even seen her. You heard around she left Redwater a few days ago.

Lawman said she’s chasing a couple folks for a bounty, but she’s “sure to be back any day now.” But that had to be at least 2 days ago, and again no sign of the green eyed girl you’re starting to long for.

James also still gone, somewhere in the mountains with his father. You hated how you missed Ellie more then the man you should love. It was messed up.

You were starting to get worried, what if Ellie had reported you, the lawmen showing up to your place to arrest you, throw you in jail for the rest of your life. Or worse, being punished by death.

It had you living in an endless loop of anxiety, you felt like people were looking at you, like they knew what went down in your house that night. Weather or not it was impossible for them to know.

“You’re lookin’ pale” A soft voice comes from beside you. You’ve been sitting at the saloon all morning, drowning your worries in booze. And really, it was working.

The voice could only belong to Dina.

You eyes met her soft brown doe eyes and you give her a lazy smile. She didn’t know what happened, and as nice as she is you’d never tell her. It puts you and Ellie both at risk.

“Why don’t we get you some water?” Dina questions.

“N-no it’s okay, to far?” You look back at her, you watch as her eyes trail your face, silently trying to understand what’s going on with you.

“You missin’ James” She questions not waiting for a response before she continues. “Jesse and his father do this all the time, always doing their bonding stuff- but don’t worry about it, he’s probably thinkin’ about you.” She smiles and sits beside you on the stool resting her hand on your shoulder.

You couldn’t reply, worrying that you saying you miss James would easily be recognized as a lie, which it was.

“Have you seen Ellie?” You question looking at Dina, ignoring the whole conversation you both had. Or more one she had with herself.

Dina then shrugs “Heard she got back earlier last night.” She says.

“Do you know where she is.” You stand up a bit to fast for someone who’s been rested in the bar all day.

“She’s been sat at the train station all day” Dina nods and looks at you.

And now with your new found information you’re moving your feet straight to the train station, you’re fully ready to give Ellie a piece of your mind. Insult her for ignoring you, acting like just a week prior she wasn’t kissing you, telling you how pretty you were.

You felt like you hated her, but as soon as you saw her back rested on the train station walls, your words were forgotten. And you suddenly didn’t have the urge to insult her.

You decide to continue walking over hitting her shoulder a bit harder then you should have. Wanting Ellie to turn and see you. Reminding her of the girl she’s was sucking face with.

“What the fu-“ Ellie stops her words when she sees you, she seems like a child who’s been caught doing something they shouldn’t have been doing.

“Hi” Ellie looks at you.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” You ask arms resting in a crossed position.

“I haven’t.” Ellie shakes her head and looks down, hat now covering her eyes.

You lift her hat up taking it in your left hand. “You have- now don’t lie, you haven’t said anything since we kis-“

Your words are interrupted by Ellie shushing you, causing in your opinion more heads to turn. “Are you drunk?” She questions raising her eyes.

“No!” You shake your head fast.

Ellie’s lips turn into a smirk and she looks at you. “You definitely are.” She says eyes slowly shifting to your lips.

It’s times like this were she wishes loving you wasn’t a crime.

Either way she saw herself committing this crime in every lifetime, it would all be worth it if it meant feeling your lips against hers.

You were worth it.

“If you’re mad, I’d prefer you tell me?” You say slurring over a few words, either way knowing she’ll get the point.

“I’m not mad?” Ellie says looking at you before clearing her throat. “I thought maybe you would’ve told people so I left for a few days.” Ellie says.

Ellie truthfully has been having the exact same amounts of anxiety as you, ever since she left your house her mind had been in spirals.

She knew deep down you wouldn’t say anything but the risk was still there, so she cleared from town for a few days. Making sure 100% no one knew anything.

Because she kissed you first, and if you told people that she knew the consequences which would occur. And that scared her.

So she ran, using the excuse that she had leads of some bounty target..

“Okay..” You look at her and nod, your eyes now looking at her lips.

You hated yourself for even looking at Ellie in a romantic sense, it was gross.

Ellie watches your eyes go to her lips, understanding that since your drunk your self control might be a bit worse than normal.

“Not here.” Ellie says slowly watching as you eyes shift up, slowly giving her a nod.

“Sorry” You say, Ellie only replying with a nod and a small. “S’okay.”

“After sundown- would you like to-“ Your sentence can’t finish, Ellie’s quickly nodding her head like an idiot, bidding a quick and short “Yes!”

“Okay-“ You smile moving your hand back up near her face, for a second she believes maybe you’re cuffing her cheek. But that was a short lived fantasy because all you were truly doing is putting her hat right back on.

You look around quickly, making sure no one was near or around. You think fast and you press a short kiss to Ellie’s lips. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Ellie’s blushing like crazy, and she just nods. How does she react? You literally just kissed her AGAIN.

- -

Ellie was at your house as soon as she saw the sun go down. Not wasting any time to be late.

Her hand practically controlled itself when she knocked on your door. She was eager to see you again.

Ellie wasn’t sure what tonight was going to bring, but she knew whatever it was, it was finally going to ease the longing tension she’s had since she had met you. Finally breaking down those walls which scared the both of you.

You opened the door and Ellie immediately smiled. “H-hi.” Ellie smiles

You smile right back at her and open the door a bit more wide allowing Ellie to enter.

Ellie walks in before taking off her boots and looking at you. “You look nice” She looks you up and down taking in your appearance.

“You too..” You smile looking at Ellie taking notice at how her cheeks turn a light pink.

Ellie’s always been nervous around you, it’s just heavily intensified since you kissed. Now she feels like she’s walking on eggshells, hoping she doesn’t accidentally mess something up, or worse, self sabotage.

Ellie sits down on your couch watching as you grab two drinks from the kitchen, filled in a glass cup.

“Haven’t had enough there sweetheart?” Ellie jokes, calling back to your drunk self just a few hours ago.

“Har har” You roll your eyes handing Ellie her drink, finding a comfortable spot beside her as you did so.

Ellie looks at you as she takes a sip, despite her nervousness not breaking eye contact. Both of you are facing each other while sat on the couch. You being the first to speak. “Why didn’t you tell me about this secret little crush” You smile tilting your head.

“It was hardly a crush” Ellie rolls her eyes at your statement..

Yet it definitely was a crush that lasted years among years, but she’s not sharing that just yet.

“Can I at least get a timeline or something?” You smile looking at her. You’re not sure when Ellie’s feelings developed, your assuming not over a long period of time. Your guess is maybe a little after you got married.

“No.” Ellie chuckles, trying to play off she’s not scared of telling you that she’s had this “little crush” for multiple years. Fuck since you two were children.

“So you’re plannin’ on hiding it then?” You ask hand creeping to her knee. Sliding you fingers lightly on it.

“Mhm! Seems like i’d be savin’ myself the embarrassment” Ellie tilts her head before leaning in a bit.

“I wish you told me earlier.” You say looking at her. And even though you said those words you wonder how different everything would be if Ellie told you earlier. If your reaction would have been different. If you would even let it get as far as kissing.

And Ellie thinks the same, she just says it. “I don’t think it would’ve changed much-“ She sighs out, eyes peeling from yours.

Your shoulders slouch slightly but you quickly rise them. Moving your hand to cuff Ellie’s cheek so she looks at you again. “Maybe- maybe not.” You sigh out, your body moving itself to lean in and kiss her.

Ellie’s hands move to your face, and even though she knows it’s wrong, knows the consequences and how this can affect the both of you she doesn’t pull back, she just leans further into it. Scared that if she pulls back she’ll lose you.

Both you and Ellie are leaning back on the couch Ellie on top of you while her lips are hastily trying to keep pace with yours.

You both seem in a starved state. Scared of what these actions might follow, yet both refusing to stop them. Kissing harder and more passionately each time.

Ellie’s lips go down your neck and she’s dragging her tongue down as she does. Even though she hasn’t done this, hasn’t even been close to doing this your little moans of approval is enough for her.

And she’s almost sure she hasn’t heard something so sweet, it just makes it more concrete that whatever this is, it’s not stopping anytime soon.

Ellie’s hand is finding it’s way to your chest, squeezing one of your boobs lightly. The moan that left your mouth meant whatever she was doing was good.

You’re smiling through the kiss making Ellie smile too. “What..?” She rasp out pulling back from the kiss.

“I didn’t say anythin’ did I?” You question, lips finding hers once again.

The moment the two of you are having is only getting more intense as your hand starts trailing to her pants. Ellie quickly pulls back, out of pure nervousness. It might have been because she’s never done this, or because it’s with you but she’s freaking out. “I- I just haven’t done this- and I don’t want to fuckin’ like disappoint you.” Ellie sighs out.

You look up at her nodding slowing, it’s not like you’ve done this stuff either. With a girl that is, and you’re really just as nervous as she is. Maybe you’re just better at hiding it. “We can figure it out- if you’d like too..” You say.

Ellie nods and leans her lips back to yours, feeling as your fingers starting moving to undo the button.

Ellie starts to lean back off of you finding herself on the other side of the couch. Watching you as you slowly go over her now finding yourself on top.

You kiss Ellie again before peeling back to move you hand down, getting a good look before you fingers reach her the waistline of her underwear.

You know that if you cross this point there’s truly no returning. You’ve set yourself up for this kind of life and that has you worried. If in the long run it would be worth it, seeing as your father got this “perfect life”. You almost feel like doing this would make him disappointed in you.

With a husband, enough money to live comfortably, all the shit you could ever need. And now you’re throwing it away.

But for Ellie, to be with Ellie.

That seems to easy.

Like the decision was made before you could deny it. So you hands reach inside her underwear letting contact with her extremely wet folds.

“Fuck-“ Ellie says closing her eyes and buckling her hips forward craving the new found feeling of your touch. “It feel okay..?” You ask fingers still moving in circle motions as you put more pressure on her clit.

Ellie just moans and nods, not being able to get out sentences anymore. She’s almost sure they wouldn’t be coherent anyway.

Your fingers continue to move, collecting her wetness. Ellie’s moans were only increasing and you weren’t sure how long she’d be. But she was 100% reaching the boiling point that threatened to overflow.

You slowly slide in one of your fingers with straight ease due to how wet she was. Ellie’s hips rolling practically begging for more, despite her lack of words. “Right there..” Ellie moans her eyes still screwed shut.

Your lips plant back on Ellie as your fingers continue to work on her lower region. Ellie moaning as you do so.

“I’m gonna..” Ellie’s words trail off as her eyes continue to stay shut. “Eyes on me- open your eyes.” You say holding her cheek lightly. “I want to watch you.” You say slowly, wondering if your words were far to much. Which seemed stupid because one of your fingers were literally inside Ellie.

Ellie’s eyes open and she’s looking back and forth between your eyes. Her breaths are getting more irregular and she’s starting to feel herself being pushed over the edge.

You watch Ellie’s eyes roll, eyelids fluttering shut. Her back arches running off the little high she has left once you pull out your fingers. Ellie immediately smashes her lips back onto yours. Not giving you a chance to pull back.

Her hands are tugging up your dress before moving your underwear to the side as her fingers reach your folds. She’s obviously not trying to waste any time!

“Feel okay..?” Ellie ask looking at you for your reaction.

All you reply with is a short nod and a moan leaving your lips.

Ellie’s fingers are moving in slow taunting circles as her face stays in the crook of your neck, kissing all around your throat. Moving up to then reach your lips.

You feel Ellie’s fingers start to speed up, kissing you more passionately. Tongue lapping around yours, zero plans to stop.

Ellie hands leave your aching clit pushing in her fingers.

As soon as you feel Ellie move her finger inside you, your hips are rolling themselves, having Ellies fingers go deeper inside of you.

You’re continuing to moan louder holding onto Ellie’s face while you continue kissing her, you can feel yourself reaching that boiling over point. “Please look at me baby..” Ellie says between kissing you.

Your eyes open, looking up at Ellie as your lips break apart. Ellie’s eyes on you was all it took, her looking down you with pure lust fingers deep inside you. You’re body finally lets go, eyes fluttering shut as Ellie’s fingers ride you through your orgasm.

Ellie slowly pulls out her fingers looking at you, hoping what she did ending up feeling okay for you. “Was it okay..?” Ellie ask looking down at you.

You can’t even form coherent sentences so you just lean forward and kiss Ellie.

And that’s what it soon became with you and Ellie. The both of you would sneak around town, kissing behind buildings, inside your house on the rare occasion your wouldn’t husband be there, even sometimes in Ellie’s.

It was risky and both of you knew it. You both were playing a game where the odds weren’t in your favour. But neither of you could quit. It felt like a drug for the both of you..

Ellie’s lips on yours, it was something that wasn’t quite explainable, why it felt so good. Knowing it was wrong.

But you couldn’t help but wonder why it was wrong, you didn’t know if this was love. You’ve never actually been in love. You weren’t even sure if that was real.

But with Ellie, it felt different then any man you ever been with, like she blew everyone else out of the field park.

And it came all that more apparent when your husband came back. If he tried to kiss you, you found yourself pulling back, complaining of some faux sickness. Just so you wouldn’t have to touch his lips.

While you’d find yourself sneaking out late to be with the auburn hair girl. It was inevitable for a mess up. It was a silent thing you and Ellie both knew. There was no one you’d be able to do this with no one finding out.

You were deep in thought, sitting in town letting the sun fall down on you. Trying to ignore you the thoughts about Ellie. Realizing you probably have to end it..tell her you can’t do whatever this is anymore.

“Hey Ma’am?” Ellie says planted on her horse. Patting its neck lightly to ease him. “You alright?” Ellie questions looking at you. She sees that your eyebrows are furrowed and you blocked out everything else around so your definitely thinking. She’s seen these actions since you were both little, how you ignore everything else.

“Yeah, hey Ellie” You put on a fake smile, fast enough for Ellie to maybe not question it. But she recognizes it almost immediately. Looking at you before she hops off her horse tying it to the fence post.

“What’s wrong.” Ellie says looking at you, as her hand lightly touches yours, leaving you to move your hand back. Retracting from her touch. There were people around and Ellie’s a bit more careless than you. “Sorry.” Ellie sighs looking at you.

“It’s fine- just people.” You say looking at her, you don’t know if you were wrong for thinking it. But you truly wish she was a boy. If she was you wouldn’t have to question every time you both were physically intimate.

Life would be so much easier if girls could like each other..

She nods looking at you. Trying to think of how to talk to you in private. She sees how your eyes trail down, avoiding hers. But she couldn’t read you. “We can talk later. Just once James falls asleep behind the saloon.?” You ask looking at her.

Ellie nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

- -

Ellie was there way before you, if she had to guess maybe an hour. She was fucking panicking, she never saw you like that. It hurt her to say the least.

You couldn’t even look at Ellie, and honestly it filled her with insecurities, unsure as to why you’re suddenly pulling away from her. After she’s spent so long dreaming for the both of you to be close, in the way she wanted at least.

And now that it happened, even it’s it’s just for a bit. She doesn’t want to end that. But she sees how it’s now it’s crumbling. And she hates that-

“Hey.” Your voice cuts off her train of thought, watching as you come behind the the wall of the saloon. “Hi.” Ellie smiles looking at you before walking forward towards you.

“Are you okay, you seemed like something was on your mind?..” Ellie questions her hand reaching her her nails to her mouth out of nervousness. “Yeah- no, I mean. I just want to talk.” You sigh out looking down at the ground. Pulling down her hand, you knew that she would bite her nails during nervous occasions.

Ellie’s hand reaches your cheek, thumb moving back and forth.. “You can talk me” Ellie sighs out looking at you, despite you avoiding her gaze. “Ellie this is dangerous- us doing this is dangerous.” You finally look at her.

Ellie feels like she’s biting back tears as she sees your teary eyes once escaping and falling down your cheek. “So- we’re fine. We haven’t got caught” Ellie then shakes her head. “We won’t get caught?” Ellie says looking at you. Almost trying to convince herself.

“I-I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” You say leaving Ellie to just sigh. It’s not like she can deny it, if you get caught. You’re both dead. You’d be lucky to live. People don’t often act to pleased when the sin of homosexuality is shed to the light.

Ellie leans in and kisses you, her hands finding the back of your neck.. “I wanna be with you- and if that’s what leads me to the end then so be it.” Ellie says in between the kiss.

“Ellie-“ You start.

“No- s’okay. Promise.” Ellie shakes her head kissing you. Holding you tight, as if she lets go she’ll lose you forever. “I wanna be with you..” Ellie says.

You and Ellie continue to kiss, lost in the feelings of holding each other. Your soft lips clashing. Then something which could have sounded so quiet came down in a big crash. There was sounds of a stick breaking behind the two of you, both of you pulling back from each other.

Both of the colour drains from your faces, looking around to see nothing. The dark is caving both of your figures and now you’re worried. “Ellie- Ellie what if someone saw” You say looking at her. Hands shaking slightly.

Ellie looks around and shakes her head, trying to convince you and herself that no one was truly there. Like it was an animal. “No- it was probably just a rabbit, they’re all around these parts.” Ellie says looking at you.

But Ellie was just as nervous as you. Wondering if this was it. If that was a person.

And you hadn’t know it yet, considering you and Ellie haven’t talked about what would happen say you two were found out, but Ellie’s already understood that she would immediately take the blame. Because Ellie realized your life was set for you, you had a husband who you were sure to have kids with eventually, while her life didn’t have much worth living for, as sad as it seems.

She didn’t have a husband, nor planned to ever get one, she didn’t have much friends, and in all fairness she assumed she’ll grow old in this town. So really, once she reached the end, being death of course, what would she had accomplished..?

Ellie knew a life without you wasn’t one she wanted to take part on, and the thought of you both getting caught was enough for her to make the decision. Even though it was on her own.

She thought about what she would say, something Ellie came up with was saying that she forced you, one that made you commit theses acts. The heinous crime which was loving her. If you even did.

It was easier this way, because it would save you.

Ellie looks at you. “It’s getting late” Ellie sighs turning her head to the ground, unsure of what tomorrow may bring.

You reply with a short nod. Realizing it’s time to say goodbye to her.

You were up bright and early, trying to get out of the house before James woke up. Not trying to deal with his instructions that he often assigned. Today you wanted to see Ellie, you had the plan to knock on her door.

But as soon as you walked into town the atmosphere was different. You knew it wasn’t in your head this time, because everyone was looking at you. Like you were some curse. And much to your despair you weren’t sure why.

But that was soon to to become evident and clear..

You see Dina and Jesse trail towards you hesitantly, their faces are reading something indescribable, like they can’t tell weather talking to you is safe. It was weird to say the least.

“How are you feeling..?” Dina spits out looking at you. Jesse talking right after her. “She’s gone now, lawmen have her in cells.” Jesse says tilting his head. “Don’t gotta worry about her.” He continues.

And now you’re confused, you don’t know a lot of girls, much less that committed a crime. And your mind only trails to one, Ellie fucking Williams.

“What do you mean? Who?” You spit out, now looking for the girl who’s often on her horse walking all around town. Patrolling to make sure everything is in order.

“Ellie?” Dina says, she’s looking at you with eyes that seem worried. “You heard what old man Walter said surely? It’s travelling all over.”

Old man Walter was the town drunk, it was nothing new. If there was no one in the saloon early in the morning or late at nights he was sure to be there, and now your heart sinks. Because if he was at the saloon late at night. He could have saw-

“He said- he was going to empty his bladder- as everyone does. But he saw Ellie and you.” Dina doesn’t spit out the final sentence, scared to speak such acts into words. But Dina didn’t have to finish the fucking sentence, you knew exactly what she was talking about. You and Ellie. What happened behind the saloon. A time where you believed everyone was sleeping.

Now your mind was going on a race to understand why you’re still standing her, why you’re not throw into a cell like Ellie. “What, what’d she say?..” You look at Dina and Jesse. Your gaze going back and forth.

“Listen your not in trouble- Ellie explained what she did- your okay.” Dina nods. “What the fuck did she say!” You now yell.

Dina’s startled back. But then understanding what Ellie did probably took a tool on you. “Ellie said she forced herself- well.. you know, onto you. Held you tight. It’s okay to be irritable-“

You’re not even listening, everything around is silent ambience you can’t process, why would Ellie even- she had no need to take the blame. Your feet left Dina and Jesse before your brain could react. You’re basically running into the Sheriffs department, almost stumbling in your dress as you do so.

The lawman watches you speed walk over, he quickly steps forward shaking his head forward. “Hey- hey best you don’t come in here. She’ll be dealt with soon enough. Everything was explained.” He says looking at you.

“Let me just see her- okay I want to-.” You think, if you say you just want to see her you know they won’t let you. “I wanna give her a piece of my mind.” You say as you look at him.

His teeth tug in the bottom of his lip, contiplating if letting you through is smart, but soon enough he steps to the side opening the door.

The department had a couple of cells. Shockingly there was no extra sheriff in the spot where one usually sits. So it was just you, and the figure that sat in the cell. Back to the door.

Her back towards you.

“Ellie” You sigh out.

Ellie’s body flinches, she doesn’t turn around or talk. Ellie knows it’s you, you’re the only one who can sigh her name out like that and give her some sort of reaction. But she knows if she sees you, it’ll make this whole situation worse. “Listen- just leave.” She keeps her back towards you.

“Turn around.” You say before crouching in front of the cell, Ellie slowly sighs and turns around.

Her appearance was another reason she didn’t want to see you, her eye was bruised. Lip seemed busted and she had a few cuts around her face. And now you can’t hold back because you’re crying, realizing that if you two didn’t kiss that night everything would be different. “Don’t cry.” Ellie shakes her head.

She’s moving forward in the cell her hand reaching for your cheek. Now metal bars between the two of you. “Why the fuck did you take the blame Ellie” You say looking at her, you want it to come out harshly, because you’re hurt. But it doesn’t, as you’re crying your voice is just weak.

“Because- I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Ellie says her hand still on your cheek wiping the tears. “Now you’re gonna be hurt..Ellie what if they ki-“. Ellie stops you, she’s sure that’s soon to come, but she knows you’ll just panic more. “I’ll be okay.”

Both of you knew it was a lie, the lawman said to your face she’ll be dealt with. But living in some fantasy seemed better then reality.

“Why’d you say it.” You look at her.

“Because I love you.” Ellie sighs. Knowing this is probably the last time she’ll see you.

Kissing Ellie through the bars was something you couldn’t explain. Because it showed how your actions lead you to this point, yet how you both weren’t able to stop now. Because you literally dug this grave. But this time it wasn’t for you, you’ve single handedly dug a grave for Ellie. Where she was sure to rest.

“I love you too.” You sign out, reluctantly pulling back. Getting a good look at the girl. You look down. “Better get goin’ don’t want him to walk back in.” Ellie says as she nods towards the man outside the door.

With that you picked up yourself feeling like a thousand pounds, walking towards the door before you look back at Ellie. She’s noticeably crying. You want to walk to her, hug and kiss her, but you don’t. You just walk out.

- -

You got word a few days after that, Ellie was killed in her cell. People around town speculated it was one of the lawmen, saying they were the only people who could open the cell, but people didn’t care.

James didn’t even console you, he just said he was busy with his father leaving you alone in your house once again. Not even having Ellie to pass the time.

Everyone in Redwater believed getting rid of a person like Ellie was a benefit.

And soon you realized Ellie would become a distance memory, someone you longed for, but could never truly have.

You’d always remember Ellie as your true love. One you’d meet again, weather it be in another lifetime.

One where you can only hope you both got your happy ending.

A/N -> UM!

This is currently the longest thing i’ve ever wrote and it’s so it can hold everyone over before Summer Blossom. Because currently i’m extremely busy!

I have a huge trip coming up and i’m working so I haven’t been able to work on that as of now, which I do apologize for! Give me another week and I swear it’ll be out.

I hope you enjoyed reading this because I LOVED writing it. I was literally listening to old music as I wrote it, and was doing research to make sure everything sorta made sense!

This is a one shot so please settle with the sad ending, it won’t be continued. I’ve never done a sad ending and I feel like I needed some angst.

But other then that I hope you enjoyed this little one shot!

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