#the way abueloier was able to get on the island

[bitcell]

i just think it's fair that the guy who flirts with the other side and has an obsession with occultism gets an ancient entity attached to him, and said entity, decides to follow him around and watch his every move, AND not only that, but also gets so intrigued with this mortal that he starts to lurk into his mind and use his powers to annoy him

and it would be very interesting if the husband of the mortal came from the same lineage of the ancient entity

[shikai-the-storyteller]

A summary of the Guapoduo lore today because my heart is in tatters

Roier and Quackity are doing a bit and fighting each other at the Oxxo. Roier says "Help!" in chat. Cellbit sees it and gets worried, asking where he is.

Roier doesn't respond, so Cellbit gets even more worried. He starts checking the map to see where Roier is despite the fact he's in a dungeon with Forever

Eventually, Cellbit warps over to the Oxxo to check on Roier (he's fine). They have some banter, and Cellbit says he wants to talk to Melissa / the psychologist about something. Roier asks why he wants to talk to Melissa instead of him, and Cellbit says it's just because he wants to get something off his chest.

Quackity says he knows a doctor and relogs as Doctor Simi. They go to Roier's psychology office and ask Roier to wait outside so Cellbit can have a private conversation with Doctor Simi (Quackity).

(Roier secretly stays outside on the roof and listens to the conversation)

Cellbit confesses that he and Abueloier (Roier's "Abuelo" who visited the Island for the wedding) got into a fight because Abueloier was trying to stop / ruin their marriage. In the first incident, Cellbit was triggered by a cellphone and jail cell (which reminded him of his past) and he says he "accidentally" stabbed Abueloier 7 times. He says Abueloier pulled a chainsaw on him next, which triggered him more because Cucurucho attacked and tortured him with a chainsaw, and he stabbed Abueloier again and then buried his body

Doctor Simi (Quackity) tells Cellbit to lie to Roier, but when Roier comes back inside, Cellbit tells him the truth. Roier says he already knew, but he's disappointed and sad and doesn't want to talk to Cellbit.

Roier says he seriously needs to consider whether he still wants to marry Cellbit, and runs off.

As Cellbit is about to warp away, Doctor Simi (Quackity) attacks and kills Roier. Cellbit cancels the warp and runs to protect Roier, but Quackity is able to get around him and hit Roier one more time (killing him) then logs out.

Cellbit sets up a spawn trap and tries to kill Quackity when he logs back in, furious that he tried to kill his fiance.

Eventually the three of them all meet up again, and Quackity tries to help smooth things over (and even resorts to flat out lying and saying it's a cultural difference). Roier says he needs to find his Abuelo's body.

Cellbit tells him it’s fine if he doesn’t want to talk or if he needs time to think and asks Roier to remember one thing, and then he hands him an Amaranth (a flower that means eternal love -- the same flower he left in a chest for Roier when the Federation infiltration plan went wrong)

They part ways, and Richarlyson hunts down Roier to talk to him. Richarlyson: He loves you very much, he was just scared that Abueloier would try to ruin the wedding. Roier: My Abuelo didn’t ruin our wedding. Cellbit did. There is no justification Richarlyson, imagine that someone came and tries to kill your dad. Richarlyson: But he’s sorry Roier: Yes, it’s fine, and I already forgave him, but right now I don’t want to see him, and I’m not going to marry him. First I want to know where my grandfather is. Richarlyson: But if you spend a lot of time away from him, he’ll be sad Roier: And I’m sad too

Ultimately, Roier says he still likes Cellbit, but he's sad and he wants to be alone.

Roier warps to Cellbit's castle to drop off Richarlyson, and barely says anything to him. Right as Roier is warping away, Cellbit says "I love you." Roier doesn't hear him.

Richarlyson chases down Roier to tell him Cellbit said he loves him. Cellbit chases after Richarlyson and tells Roier he doesn't want to pressure him. Cellbit: I just wanted to talk... I don't want you to feel pressured, I understand if you don't want to come back. [...] Even if you change your mind, I want you to know that the time I spent with you was very important to me, you were the only person who trusted in me. You were there when no one else was. Roier: Thank you. Thank you. Me... Me too Cellbit, but right now I'm sad, and angry.

Cellbit says goodbye in the usual way, calling Roier guapito and Roier responds saying “Goodbye Cellbit,” not calling him gatinho.

[Roier's POV] Roier wonders if he'll ever be happy again, and that Roier cubito being happy isn't canon. Roier: First the tacos, then Bobby… and now gatinho… what’s next? [...] Roier: Today they betrayed me again, they stabbed me in the back once more. Today, I’d put on my old clothes (Spider-man outfit) because I felt good… but not anymore.

[Cellbit's POV] Cellbit asks Dapper if he thinks he can revive Abueloier with a Death Totem. Bad doesn’t like the idea and is trying to discourage them, but Cellbit says it’s the only thing that can fix his marriage

Cellbit says he’s willing to sell his soul, to do anything to get Roier back, saying "There are no rules when you consider love" and "I WANT TO BE GAY MARRIED WITH MY HUSBAND"

Dapper says he may need someone related to Abueloier, so Cellbit says he’ll hold off the occultism until Roier comes back online.

Cellbit says he’s willing to sell his soul in order to get Abueloier back and make Roier happy. He says he will make this marriage happen – then elaborates and says, "but only if Roier wants to," he wouldn’t do it without Roier’s consent.

That's about it for now! We'll have to wait and see what happens next.

[anonymous-dentist]

Somewhere there's a universe where q!Roier is a Federation employee and like. He's obviously still the golden child, the Feds all adore him, but rules are rules. They have to take Bobby away, and they really don't understand why Roier is so upset because he's one of them. He's happy! He's perfect! He's their silly little guy! He should've known better than to get attached.

Nothing seems to cheer him up. Not his assigned partner, who leaves to grieve in her own way. Not his adoptive family, who serve more as placebos than actual family members (everyone in the Federation knows that Agent R0-1-3-R is an orphan, it's why he turned out so well working under them for so long.) Not his friends, who seem to blame him for his egg's death.

But then there's the Federation's literal least favorite person, Cellbit, who so happens to be Roier's literal favorite person. Who manages to make Roier smile in ways that none of the S.M.I.L.E. units have been able to since he was a child.

So, naturally, when Cellbit comes up to S.M.I.L.E. Agent: Cucurucho claiming to have changed his entire world perspective and wanting to join the Federation, the Feds are Very Okay with this. Because Roier is their specialest little guy, and it just wouldn't do for him to be in love with an enemy of the state. And the Feds know that Cellbit is probably trying to trick them, but allowing him to join would make him happy, and it's bound to make Roier happy. Right?

Wrong! Because Roier literally tries to kill himself the second he finds out that Cellbit is 'missing' from the island. And he won't listen when Cucurucho tries hinting towards the fact that the love of his life is currently becoming as perfect as he is. He wants his Cellbit back, and he wants him now. Kidnapping people isn't cool!

But, like. No, you can't just leave the Federation once you've joined. And they're just doing what's best for Roier. They're giving him his friend and his soulmate, and he'll get to keep him when the experiment ends. It's a privilege no one else on the island is going to get! Why is he so fucking ungrateful?

Unfortunately for the Feds, Cellbit breaks free from their control after a few days, and Roier is there to get him. And that night they get engaged and then, once the rest of the island is asleep, Roier storms into the offices demanding that they leave Cellbit alone from now on. He's literally fucked up, okay? Leave him out of things.

Wrong move, Roier. It isn't your place to argue against your superiors no matter how special you are.

So Retired Agent: Codename "Abueloier" is sent to eradicate the problem. If Cellbit is out of the picture, then that's for the best.

...Unfortunately, a certain little bear (coughs Osito Bimbo) saves Abueloier because it can't bear (pun intended) to see Roier this sad.

Roier and Cellbit go on their date, and they get married, and not even Agent: Codename "ElQuackity" is able to break them apart with the elections. Goddamnit.

With literally no other choice, the Federation is forced to accept its newest family member. They can't brainwash him again, because, honestly, there's no point. Roier's happy and complacent again, Cellbit is much happier than he was, neither are itching to revolt or anything.

So Cellbit is brought into the family business, whether he likes it or not. It guarantees a life with Roier after the experiment, not that he knows that. And it's fine! He's even getting along with Cucurucho these days! He's doing good work, and he may not be happy about it now, but he'll get there before too long.

It's settled with:

"What if I'm a Federation employee?" [It's scared, hesitant, because they promised they wouldn't keep secrets from each other, and this is one hell of a secret. [Roier looks down at the floor, already anticipating a negative response, but... [But Cellbit shrugs, uncaring.] "It'll be fine," he says. "I'm already an employee, too, remember? We'll just be stuck together."

A happily ever after.