#the way I treat her relationship with lolth (and her matriarch bc she projects lolth on her) and her Oath is like this toxic abusive
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swordmaid · 8 months ago
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sza open arms but it’s shri’iia’s relationship with lolth specifically this part
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#please put a leash on me anyway….. who needs self esteem anyway…………………….!!!!!!!#the way I treat her relationship with lolth (and her matriarch bc she projects lolth on her) and her Oath is like this toxic abusive#relationship where she is So copedent on the other and she wants to Please and follow them so badly that she disregards her own self sm#like to the point where her own sense of self/individuality is so divorced from herself bc she just thinks that she’s Made to follow this#oath and her body is a tool for them to use so she doesn’t really care what they do with it bc as long as she’s following her oath she’s#content. since to her her oath is literally everything you know and it just so happens that her oath is centered around following her#goddess and her matriarch.. like the option to Not Follow them was so unfathomable that when she actually does it it’s out of her own will#and when she bears the brunt of that consequence she doesn’t know what comes next bc she never knew she could do That u know ….#anyway I think conceptualising her relationship with her faith in that way is interesting to me since I read somewhere not sure if it’s#canon or what but lolth’s relationship with the drows is an allegory for domestic abuse so like… it tracks#also the thing with shri’iia is that she doesn’t see herself as a victim bc she was the one who swore up on that oath u know#so for her everything else that followed and the way she was treated is basically like well this is what u we’re getting into 🤷‍♀️#but it’s also like she didn’t even know there were other options considering her society is just one big lolth cult and then there’s the#drow victim blaming mentality that’s def ingrained on her#like I could see her understanding someone else’s pain and struggles and trying to offer some form of comfort#but if it comes to her she’ll just be confused on why they feel bad bc she signed up for it 🥲😩😔#parts of the things she’s def unlearning now that shes stuck in the surface lol
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