#the walking dad jokes
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in case you haven’t caught on, i just slipped my dick down your throat. and you thanked me for it.
idk why but i had the burning desire to draw miguel as negan from twd🧍♀️
#my art#artcross the spiderverse#the walking dad jokes#miguel ohara#Miguel ohara fanart#miguel o'hara#miguel o’hara fanart#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 fanart#spider man 2099#spider man 2099 fanart#spiderman across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv#spiderverse#the walking dead#twd#negan#negan twd#twd Negan
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marital problems
#Id link the original joke but ive seen so many bastardized versions of this all across fb reels and tiktok#Idk who the og is tho idk it might be the kid who walks outa his house with a minecraft sword saying hes running away#Casue his dad told him it was bedtime lol children are so funny#Deadpool#Wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#x men#Marvel#My art
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tired: the bats are so weird and creepy and everyone else is always so normal compared to them!
wired: impulse started fidgeting so hard he just started vibrating and clipped halfway through the floor and part of helen's foot before he realized what he was doing. this is just a normal tuesday
inspired: superman, superboy, and supergirl are sitting together in midair having a mild-mannered midwestern discussion as to which of their nonpowered combatant friends has the most fucked-up looking bones. several of said friends are in the room and really wish they wouldn't do this
#rimi talks#sorry every time i see a ''wow gotham is so weird and everyone else plays straightman'' post or fic i just#speedsters are walking bethesda glitches and supers are freaky powered aliens.#i haven't read as much amazon lore so i don't want to make Inaccurate Jokes but theres Definitely ways for them to be weird as fuck too#like im SURE there are theyre magic and also have superpowers#Everyone In This House Is Kind Of A Freak. All Of Them#constantly thinking abt becketts post of jon asking if he can look at bruce's fucked up skull#bc his dad says batman gets hit in the head nightly and now he's curious and wants to see#fucking devastating man laskdjflkdjs
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Why do the FEH devs insist on ignoring Nabatean lore so much?
I recently had a surprisingly cordial discussion on redshit with someone about the "nabateans = colonisers" take, and one of the main points raised was that the game was purposedly foggy around Nabateans/Sothis/their story because it would obviously favor a certain narrative (and thus make another narrative look, uh, not that marketable anymore).
To be honest, we still ended up with a product that had a lead go "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and yet that lead is still marketable enough to have raunchy cipher cards and 5 FEH alts, so I actually wonder if, while pissing on that lore had that purpose, it was ultimately pointless since Supreme Leader can still sell goodies despite her incarnation in FE16.
And not only Supreme Leader - but the entirety of WC where we basically have 70% of the cast crying/complaining about their "mixed blood" or lack of and basically adding their 10 cents to the "this race and its blood is the reason why the world sucks".
I mean, can you imagine Sylvain selling any goodies and alts if Flayn replied to his "wah wah people only are kind to me and want to fuck me because I have Nabatean blood :(" by some uncharacteristic "good for you, I have to hide my ears, had to dye my hair, have to lie about my family because if the truth is found out about my identity, I will be hunted and vivisected like an animal and harvested for parts by people who call my kin abominations - just like what happens in the game where the same people who call my kin "abominations" ally with a classmate who calls me a creature and pretends I am incapable of human feelings based on my race".
FE Fodlan's main selling point is its cast of students, for various reasons, but even if I tried to kid myself, Nopes and FEH made it clears : students are the main selling point.
If you spare more time and attention to the Nabatean plot/lore, the students either grow from "likeable" to "despicable" or worse, you won't gaf about them because yeah sure, Hilda might be upset because people expect things from her due to her crust, but it would feel like a "peanut" compared to Seteth's irrational (granted, it's not so irrational since GW exists) fear that Flayn's newest friends would dissect her if they learnt she was a Nabatean, and being conflicted by finally letting her have human friends and form bonds she crave, or protect her due to the trauma from the genocide of their species.
Don't get me wrong, I love peanuts, I mean, not everyone can have a tragik of loaded backstory!
And yet, given how this verse's DNA is "can you fight against the red emperor who uwus about you", they had to add copious amounts of Earl Grey to their games so there's no clear-cut factions :
The "Your alien blood and its influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command" vs "I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"
is turned to :
"Your alien blood Crests and its your church's influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command"
"I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"
Sprinkle with the cast's hammering here and there that the "reforms" might be needed - but never develop on what they are - and add a few baseless and groundless takes as a toping (basically everything Claude says about tolerance and the general "isolationism/foreign policy" stuff) and you get FE Fodlan where the Red Emperor's war isn't seen as the catastrophe it is in the other entries from the series!
Now, for FEH...
FWIW, the F!F!Billy's trailer had them try to explain that Sothis was a bit pissed about her slaughtered/massacred children when Nopes never gave any reason about why she was pissed - maybe on Billy's behalf bcs Jerry's dead, but come on, she would indeed deserve the medal of the worst parent in the franchise if that was the case, since Billy can murder her daughter without Sothis taking over ! - but given that they cannot write/go against the source game those characters are from.
They tried a bit, with B!Supreme Leader and Hegemongard's FB, but then it stopped (because she had no "new unit" released since then lol) and I can understand why : Hegemongard came out before the Supreme Emblem, and Hegemongard hates dragons who are seen/perceived as gods by some of their human followers. Come FE17, and now Supreme Emblem accepts Alear because they are "one of the good ones". We can come up with HCs and details and talk about what are emblems or if Hegemongard's views were only hers at the end of AM all day long... But imo, Doylist wise, it still feels it's a retcon because the devs from the main games tried to scrap and remove the most "controversial" traits she had.
For the other characters... Well, you see what Marianne is in FEH (but even in her base games), she's one of the few characters who reacts - in a way - to the partial history about relics and demonic beasts and all... only to give sad uwus to Maurice.
FE16 (and Nopes) refused to have any "student" character react to the Nabatean lore/reveal, about what are relics and all. There are no lines, Claude shared some knowledge in the explore section of VW's last chapter, but we don't have anyone muse or think or even talk about what are relics, what are crests, and what kind of fuckery their ancestors or the ancient humans of Fodlan did.
With that in mind, FEH can't do much : either they write Marianne in a retcon-y way like what happened for Hegemongard (and they're not afraid to piss on characterisation, look at Lyon!), or they flanderise her "character" and develop her around 3 lines she had in the game in her paralogue, and continue to give sad uwus about Momo when he was at best a guy who slaughtered and murdered so much that he abused the Nabatean turned into a relic to the point where he turned in a demonic beast even if he had a matching crest, or at worst, had been part of Nemesis's piñata party in Zanado and was something of a genocider.
Tldr :
Why FE Fodlan never gaf about Nabateans : earl grey + the marketable cast has to stay marketable and you can't sell peanuts at the same price you'd sell swordfish
Why FEH dgaf about Nabatean lore : they can't afford to retcon characters + they have to sell peanut alts with the same seasoning they had in their base game.
For what it's worth though, I think FEH is more daring than the base game(s) given how they gave more lines and screentime to Rhea - through her different alts - than GW. And they even designed her Halloween!alt's lines to piss on some of Claude's assertions, while the various FB involving members of the church also - indirectly - reply to some accusations thrown their way in FE16 when, FE16, never gave them an opportunity or lines to explain that those takes were full of dung.
*"but random, maybe she doesn't know that the crests she often decries is "dragon blood"!"
It's highly debatable, especially given what she and Hubert throw to Billy in CF - but even if she doesn't, Doylist wise we still have a character who, knowingly or not, says "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and who is never called out on her prejudice. That's more of an issue regarding the general writing though, she has to be a red emperor and took pages from Ashnard's book, and yet, the player must still feel bad and want to romance her, so her mindest/goal cannot be looked at too closely, because, I guess, even the devs thought it would be difficult to romance her (thus sell goodies!) if more light was shed on the "blood from this race corrupts our people" schtick -> which in turn would also make characters whose backstory and gimmick rely on "crying about crests" be way less likeable, thus marketable and able to sell goodies.
#anon#replies#heroes salt#fodlan nonsense#they can't develop stuff about nabateans else the people would wonder if this thing existed in FE16/Nôpes#and we all know people siding with the Agarthans would have like#a harder time justifying being allied to the Agarthans even if they don't know everything that transpired between them and the nabs#and yet Pelleas is accused of being a moron for listening to Izuka when he didn't even knew Izuka was the one who#developed the feral subhuman drug and earnt a PHD so#in the end everything's always about money#I'd buy in a heartbeat any Hilda (fe4) figurine#but i guess thes devs/money makers believe that antagonists at least in this franchise don't sell as well as marketable characters#like prime waifus#hell even UO started to print figurines of the main heroines but none as of yet of Alcina#can you imagine if the uwu overprotective dad joke#that is basically the crux of the Flayn'n'Seteth's relationship#was more developed in the lines of Seteth being afraid that Flayn would trust humans too much and reveal the truth about her#in a gesture of friendship and trust! and it would turn against her#I mean isn't it basically why the nabs are pissed at Adrestia??#Rhea trusted Willy about her pointy ears and now Willy's scion wants them out of Fodlan because their ears are pointy#or Flayn really getting along with people but ultimately not being able to trust them fully because she cannot tell them the truth#and maybe her support friends and all either pulling what everyone does with Marianne#or have the issue resolved in a more meaningful way like Nabs finally accepting to trust humans again in a plot relevant cutscene#and Flayn's final supports only being available after that cutscene#but we couldn't have that at all because again#Earl Grey + peanuts#can you imagine Sylvain getting a convo with Flayn post reveal? Where he feels like trash for wahwahing about his crust?#that's not the route the games wanted to walk on#so FEH can't walk it either#I swear this isn't a post asking for a new rhealt lol
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#911#911 spoilers#bobby nash#i am not joking around#i WILL go walk into lake michigan#dont take my dad away
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Wood fired Pizza?
They should have unionized.
-chilchuck probably
#chilchuck#i bow and walk into a wall#i definitely feel like he would day this at rhe end of a union meeting#gotta love dad jokes#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#shitposting#goofy goof#silly half foot
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Do you think Banjo is the type of person who hides his problems behind a clown mask?
The guy acts like a bit of comedy relief, but I think he's the kind of person to face his problems head-on. I don't think he uses humor as a coping mechanism. We never see him do that for himself. He's just a loud guy
Look at how he first appears to Midoriya
He's loud, and it steals Midoriya's attention. But he's calling him out on why he's messing up
But as a character's debut, the first things he does are:
Call out Midoriya for trying to do things alone, when Yoichi's first message to him was that he wasn't
Tell him that if he can compose himself, things typically work out
Understands Midoriya's side of things, and tells him he knows (like lacking a mouth)
And once he says those two previous things, he exhales, and his eyes show their pupils properly
The parting advice he gives Midoriya is a reiteration of the second point: It's okay to be mad. What's important is controlling your heart.
Blackwhip is a Quirk that responds to the holder's emotions. Like other Quirks, but Blackwhip goes out of control when the user isn't able to get a grip on themselves
Banjo used his Quirk effectively. He'd have to live that advice to pass it on to Midoriya, back when Abilities were starting to become normal, but Japan was still wrecked. And we know that Quirks are influenced by, and influence, the holder's personality.
Banjo would have to be able to be honest with himself, understand his emotions, and has the maturity to say it's okay to be mad. Just control it.
When he said that for the first time, it actually surprised me. Everyone in fiction or reality says "Don't be mad", but a character on his debut and says it's okay to be that. I never heard anyone say that controlling your emotions and outputting them in a healthy manner is what matters. People just say not to he negative or annoying, because it's inconvenient; but Banjo went past that.
And when he fades, he tells Midoriya he's got this. He reminds him that they're all behind him.
Whenever he speaks, he doesn't make the receiver feel bad, or speak down to them. He understands them, and gives the next step in a familiar, friendly way.
On his debut, he told Midoriya to control his heart, and to remember he wasn't alone. Here, he tells him he should try understanding their Quirks better.
He's actually got a mature way of seeing things. He's an adult, and being the holder between Shinomori and En, he wouldn't be able to deal with either of them if he wasn't mature about himself. Shinomori probably wouldn't choose someone who can't be honest with himself upfront, after spending almost half his life for OFA. And En is young, prone to panic, and a guy who acts like his problems aren't there or funny wouldn't help that.
I can visualize Banjo sitting at a small fire with Shinomori, having an honest, calm talk about life (until Shinomori says the wrong thing and Banjo yells something about it). But not Banjo trying to push his problems down with a hearty laugh, and Shinomori being okay with that.
When Midoriya used his Quirk for the first time, Banjo did get loud at the start, but he did lecture him in a way that was kinda teacher-mentor-ish.
I actually like the way Banjo talks about his observances. He's got the demeanor of a good teacher, he's clear, and direct. He's light-hearted about serious things, but doesn't diminish them. He just approaches it in a way that you aren't feeling the pressure, and can feel like it's possible.
He seems to have this habit of being loud to get people's attention, and simmers down once he has it. He's never indirect or leaving the addressed to figure out the answer on their own, he gives it outright.
When Midoriya used Blackwhip for the first time, Banjo was all "You got it all wrong!" and then explained things. Since he felt himself fading, he could've been talking louder to compensate himself past the daze he felt. To make sure he was talking, heard, and to keep himself awake
When the first Three made the void silent because Kudo and Bruce didn't want to help, Banjo broke it with what Midoriya should do next
When Shinomori got yoinked, the first thing Banjo did was report it in a panic to Midoriya. This just tells Midoriya he really has to be careful now, because OFA can really be stolen. Even if Banjo just panics and doesn't say that aloud
Every time Banjo is facing some kind of problem, he doesn't let others panic too hard. He's not pressuring about problems, and steps back to let Midoriya figure things out.
When Midoriya was running himself into the ground, Banjo was one of the vestiges that didn't show up to tell him to rest. He already understood how Midoriya saw things, and was doing them his own way
Rather than trying to be a clown, I think Banjo is just a friendly person. He's honest with others and with himself, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to utilize Blackwhip right, or be the holder between a sagey hermit and young, scared adult.
#i got this ask and i know how i perceive and feel about banjo but dont know how to put it into words#but i dont think hes someone who only jokes around or uses humor as a coping mechanism#consider the times he lived too. even all mights flashback shows that when he was alive himself japan was still in ruins#banjo lived during that time and before all might#OH. HES LIKE A DAD#hes mature light-hearted but he can sit you down and talk to you about life. then he could go “nice talk” and you dont walk away feeling#like crap#does that make sense? i think this post is another example of word vomit thats kinda cohesive but really not#he still has his inner kid but knows how to approach things like an adult that has people who need him to help them#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#banjo daigoro#YET AGAIN I GO OFFTRACK YAY ME.#i think the last paragraph is the proper answer to the ask without me running through all these hoops#but i dont talk about banjo as much as the other vestiges so im keeping the word vomit#spoilers#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#i dont think this is what anon asked for really#answer is the last paragraph i guess. it's all over the place
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#lol#haha#funny#fall#joke#joke of the day#autumn#fall aesthetic#fall vibes#jokes#dad jokes#bad jokes#dumb jokes#funny jokes#animal jokes#birds#animals#flying#get it?#hehe#birdblr#due south#walking#quicker#ha ha#fall season#fall 2024#birds flying#why#lol haha
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i was somehow born to the two most freakishly self-disciplined people on this planet earth who seem to have no clue that they are the outliers. unfortunately what this means for me is that whenever i am not freakishly self-disciplined they act as if i have failed spectacularly instead of behaving like a normal human being
#boycritter et al#they both get up at 4:30 am everyday and then work out everyday and then run their business#for which they are the sole two workers and completely set their own hours and dictate their own responsibilities#and stay completely organized and clean and eat healthy and perform every hygiene task they need to do every single day#LIKE IM NOT JOKING. EVERY SINGLE DAY.#my dads daily schedule is like. 4-530 am work out. 6-9am work. 9 am make breakfast then work until noon while eating#actually no he walks the dogs at 11#lunch break from 1230 - 1 pm. (has a salad) then back to work. make protein smoothie w rice cakes (in the smoothie) at 430 pm.#(have smoothie while working)#work until 6pm then start making dinner. 630-7 dinner.#7-8 back to work. 8-9 tv. 9-10pm back to work usually or sometimes watch tv#10 pm he goes to sleep#oh also he has a standing desk he doesnt sit down while he works.#my mom ate NOTHING but boiled vegetables for 3 months to 'heal her gut microbiome'#like im not exaggerating they are INTENSE
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When Cait's Sick, Probably
Vi: You could use some Vitamin V. Caitlyn, wishing her cold would kill her faster: Vi, stop.
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✨ 🍼 💐
✨ Retired Bradley, Jake climbing Command
Can’t help feeling his mouth go dry at the still so broad shoulders, thick bare arms. But it’s the soft tummy, covered in a thin line of dark hair leading down to the low riding pink shorts that makes him damn near choke on his own tongue. Jesus fucking Christ.
🍼 non navy bradley/fighter pilot jake as parents - hangster
“I know you don’t like me,” Bradley murmurs softly as he stares down at his cup, waiting for his tea to finish steeping. “I didn’t,” Jake agrees as he drops down onto the stool opposite of the older man. “Not so much now though.” “That you’ve got my full, sad life story?” Bradley looks up, flashing him a grimacing smile that looks strained around the edges.
💐 serial killer Jake - hangster
“So,” Jake starts, lips quirking up into a smarmy smirk, as he lets his eyes drag up and down what he could see of Bradley’s body, “how about Friday night?” Eyes flickering up, Bradley shoots him a questioning look before dropping his eyes back down to where he’s cutting up limes for the bridal party that had ordered Tequila shots. “Friday?” “Me taking you out, honey.” “No,” Bradley cuts in, pausing as he takes a breath before tightening his grip on the knife as he gets back to carefully cutting. “No, Jake. You gotta stop asking me, man.” “Why?”
Make Nixie Write!
#lucyybradford#nixie answers#bradley retires and jake goes up up up#jake is in the process of losing his mind at seeing bradley's tummy for the first time#man is about to choke on his own tongue and spit#whimpering like a dying balloon because it's unfair that bradley who was already his walking wet dream#somehow got even MORE like his wet dream#hangster#speedrun hangster girl dad's#this is pre relationship / first meeting between them. they are about to speed run their way into falling in love#jake's sisters will be making fun of the both of them so hard for it#because jake was such a bitch when FIRST meeting/laying eyes on bradley#sereshaw#moonlighting my love#pillow princess bradley & serial killer sugar daddy jake#here we have the boys at the beginning of their story!#jake is still trying to get bradley to agree to date him#and bradley is too tired and overworked and stressed about his bills and debt to even think of having a night of fun#nor does he think jake is serious about all his comments about wining and dining bradley. just thinks its one big joke for the handsome ric#guy who frequents the dive bar he works at
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Why is he like this 😂 and it's not even one of the worst ones
(5s) 30.01.24
#this dude has a walking dad joke energy lmao#aun warit#thai actors#playboyy the series#cast#for the love of tank tops#video#blmpff
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daryl dixon spoilers ! absolutely HAD to get this out but there was never one point in the daryl dixon show where i wanted him to stay in france. like genuinely annoyed when he did. you did not just see that your grandfather dying far from home led to your family feeling broken and abandoned and go “yeah these people ive know for 2 seconds are sooo worth not going home to my kids” who wrote that show. like i feel like it was using his character behavior from like season four. that was not seasons 6-11 of walking dead daryl. ew god. carol better fucking take his ass home. judith is WAITING for you. and connie!! maggie?? girl rick is ALIVE. like i was not feeling daryl being emotionally connected to those people even a fraction as he was to his family in the walking dead like yes he would stay and help fight of course but stay forever? that was so silly !!
#that girl telling daryl he was just like his dad?? gross#thought the ending was going to be him and that kid in the car in america like he took the kid home. and that was like okay.#but realizing he stayed??#BOOOOO!! tomatoes tomatoes#daryl dixon#daryl dixon SPOILERS#dixon#daryl#twd daryl#twd#the walking dead#the walking dead daryl#like genuinely had never been so like… you’re joking right.
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i think the dca would love my stupid ass sock collection. they would. they'd find it so charming (trust)
#some highlights from said collection;#a pair of blue socks covered in poorly drawn dogs that jsut says 'dogs!' 'dogs!' 'dogs!' 'dogs!' everywhere#brown pair of socks w little monochrome dog blobs on it that says 'awesome dog dad' w an arrow pointing up#blue and white socks that say 'what a guy!'#grey white and orange socks that say 'here comes cool dad!' with a Little Guy walking on them#two pairs of spiderman socks#little ankle socks that have poorly drawn dinosaur blobs all over them#ankle socks w a cat on the top w a fuzzy ball of yarn#i love socks#salmon jibberish#i am whatever gender that makes the joke the funniest#/silly
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WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SUN
#OF COURSE IT’S CLOUDY IN LA THATS KNOWN FOR ITS SUNSHINE YEAH NO OF COURSE#MY DAD HAS ALREADY MADE THE ‘BROUGHT THE WEATHER WITH YOU’ JOKE#at least it’s breaking me in gently I think if I walked off an 11 hour flight into full bright lights and sounds I’d faint#this is my way of saying I AM OFFICIALLY IN AMERICA#WOOOOO 🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸💸💸💸#rwbt 2.0
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rewatching walking dead and honestly hershel doesn’t get enough credit for how funny he is
true comedian
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