#the voltron shitbucket

[ishgardenjoyer]

Behind the Blue Mask

Chapter 1 - Death in the Family It was a perfect storm of really shitty choices that led Team Voltron to this moment. A perfect storm that was easily preventable had the afformentioned shitty choices had not been made. Had things been even slightly different, maybe Team Voltron wouldn't be in this situation, but alas, here they fucking are. Lance was dead and it was their fault. If Shiro had been a more supportive leader, then maybe Lance would have more self confidence. If Pidge had not called him obnoxious and annoying every time he tried to help her, maybe Lance wouldn't have felt so disconnected from the team. If Hunk had spent more time with him, maybe Lance wouldn't have felt so lonely in the castle. If Allura had at least tried to be friendly with him, maybe Lance wouldn't have been so miserable. If Keith hadn't called him weak or lazy every time they sparred, maybe Lance wouldn't have snuck out of the castle in an escape pod. If Coran had noticed that the castle was in Galra occupied territory, maybe Lance wouldn't have landed on a Galra mining planet. If they had been quicker to respond, maybe Lance could've been rescued. If they had been better people, maybe Lance would still be alive. But they weren't. Lance wasn't self confident. Lance did feel disconnected from the team. Lance did feel lonely in the castle. Lance was miserable. Lance did sneak out of the castle in an escape pod. Lance did land on a Galra occupied planet. Lance was captured. The Galran Mining Officer broke every bone in his body and left him to die in a warehouse rigged to explode. And before anyone could run in and save him, the explosives went off. Lance was dead and it was their fault. Shiro was the one to pull him from the wreckage. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "We couldn't save you this time." Pidge couldn't help but look away and cry. Lance's dead body was an awful sight to see. Lance was covered in blood, bruises and third degree burns. Keith was frozen. The shock of seeing Lance dead paralyzed him where he stood as he began to regret every terrible thing he had ever said or done to him. Allura seemed to be doing the same. Coran wept silently. Lance had reminded him so much of the son he lost on Altea, and now he had lost this one, too. Hunk was furious. He refused to believe that his best friend was dead. "No." No one had ever seen Hunk this angry before. "Fix him. FIX HIM." Hunk was on a warpath. Hunk wanted answers. Keith stuttered to try and give him one. "Hunk, I-I'm sorry. We can't-" "SAYING SORRY WON'T WASH THE BLOOD OFF OUR HANDS, KEITH. THIS IS JUST AS MUCH OUR FAULT AS IT IS THE GALRAN COMMANDER'S. WE DROVE HIM TO DO THIS. WHAT KIND OF TEAM LETS A TEAMMATE JUST DIE LIKE THAT?" "You're right. We've failed as a team. None of this would've happened if we had treated Lance better." Shiro said calmly. They didn't bury him on Earth. No one had the courage to even think about breaking the news to his family. They buried him on Arus, on the hill where the castle originally stood when he and the rest of the team arrived with the Blue Lion for the first time. A/N: Oh, quiznak dudes, Lance is dead on arrival.

[ao3feed-klance]

HAHAHHAHAHAHA WHO NEEDS A HEART

read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/2uH9EMs

by Skindoodles

So keef dos an angst

Words: 477, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Voltron - Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Lance, Keith, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Allura, Coran

Relationships: Klance - Relationship, Shallura

Additional Tags: I, AM - Freeform, dead, Inside, Angst, Hopefully not a shitbucket, Forgive Me

read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/2uH9EMs

[ao3feed-voltronlegendarydefender]

HAHAHHAHAHAHA WHO NEEDS A HEART

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2uH9EMs

by Skindoodles

So keef dos an angst

Words: 477, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Voltron - Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Lance, Keith, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Allura, Coran

Relationships: Klance - Relationship, Shallura

Additional Tags: I, AM - Freeform, dead, Inside, Angst, Hopefully not a shitbucket, Forgive Me

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2uH9EMs

[ao3-shallura2]

HAHAHHAHAHAHA WHO NEEDS A HEART

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2uH9EMs

by Skindoodles

So keef dos an angst

Words: 477, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Voltron - Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Lance, Keith, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Allura, Coran

Relationships: Klance - Relationship, Shallura

Additional Tags: I, AM - Freeform, dead, Inside, Angst, Hopefully not a shitbucket, Forgive Me

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2uH9EMs

[ishgardenjoyer]

oh, and Shiro's alive too, I guess.

[ishgardenjoyer]

you: Pidgance

me, an intellectual: Ouran in space.

[ishgardenjoyer]

Klance AU Concept:

It’s basically the Dear Maria, Count Me In Music Video 

- Lance is a stripper

- Keith, Shiro, Pidge (they’re 18 in this, it’s fine), and Hunk go to a (gay) strip club for Keith’s 18th birthday

- They all spot Lance

- Keith is fucking E N A M O R E D with the half-naked cuban boy 

- They’re all enjoying Keith pining for Lance

- Lance also thinks the boy with the mullet is kinda cute

- SUDDENLY LOTOR

- Lotor starts hollering at Lance, trying to win his affections

- Flowers, a kiddy motorbike, balloons, an honestly absurd amount of (possibly counterfeit) money, he brings in 2 dudes in mascot costumes (what the fuck???) 

- Shiro, Pidge and Hunk are equal parts confused and amazed by this show of what this guy thinks will win over lance

- Lance does not need this.

- Lance just needs to pay his student loans, man.

- So in an attempt to get Lotor to stop he crawls over to him, which physically pains his soul to do.

- Shiro, Hunk and Pidge try to get his attention back to Keith (who’s face is a shade of vermilion)

- Lance notices, and starts crawling towards Keith.

- rip keith

- he starts chatting up shiro, hunk and pidge (”how you guys doin? enjoyin’ the show? what’s that cutie’s name and number?” you know, the usual stuff)

- Lance and the rest of them notice that Lotor is sTILL GOING,

- LOTOR PROMISES AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO HAWAII

- which is followed up by a... monkey in a diaper? (Shiro fucking loses it, my dudes)

- Lance cannot stop staring at Lotor in utter confusion.

- Shiro (being the fucking MVP that he is) whistles at him for his attention

- Shiro and Pidge are flexing their arms at him to distract him from Lotor.

- He quickly turns his back to Lotor, trying to ignore him

- Lotor. Is. Offended.

- Lotor jumps onto the stage.

- Pidge’s phone is officially out and recording the whole thing

- Keith also jumps onto the stage

- Haggar is the bartender, Haxus (yeah, remember him? fucker got rover killed. bastard.) is some guy at the arcade machine, and Sendak is the DJ. They are all staring at him

- “Who the fuck do you think you are?” says Lotor

- “I could say the same for you.” replies Keith

- Lotor shoves Keith

- So like in the music video, the shove causes the others to jump in and this big fight breaks out

- none of that happens

- Keith decks Lotor in the face, and Lotor (being the shitlord that he is) is out like a fucking light.

- Haggar, Haxus and Sendak don’t fucking care (again, because Lotor is a shitlord)

- Shiro takes home the monkey and names him Bubbles

- Lance takes home the birthday boy and shows him a good time

- They start dating soon after

- Shiro uses this story for his Best Man’s Speech when Lance and Keith get married.

- They were both super embarrassed.

- Hunk bakes the wedding cake, and paints one of the little groom statues (Lance) to be half-naked instead of wearing a tux.

- Pidge shows all of Lance and Keith’s relatives the video they took of Keith punching Lotor in the fucking face.

- And they all lived happily ever after. Except Lotor. Because he’s a shitlord.

[ishgardenjoyer]

Voltron Music Headcanon AKA Lance and Shiro start a band

• so one day Team Voltron (finally) has a day to rest and Shiro and Lance are just sitting in the common room.

• Lance absentmindedly starts humming the beginning to a song (I personally imagine that it’s Floral and Fading by Peirce the Veil. I’m just putting that out there.)

• Shiro starts tapping along to it

• Lance starts singing the lyrics and it is BEAUTIFUL.

• Shiro’s heard Lance “sing” to annoy Keith (He chased Keith through the entire castle singing MCR horribly out of key in a Heavy Metal voice, it was as impressive as it was hilarious), but in reality, saying “Lance had the voice of an angel” is an insult to Lance. Holy quiznak, Lance can sing.

• SHIRO STARTS DOING HARMONIES

• They finish the song and Shiro pulls a General Shang being all like “You… You sing good.”

• Lance: Thanks, Shiro!

• Lance [internally]: AJSBDKSBS THIS IS GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME I AM SO BLESSED

• Lance jokingly tells Shiro that they should start a band.

• Shiro seriously thinks starting a band is a great idea.

• Lance mentions the fact that the castle wouldn’t have any instruments to use.

• “Hey Coran, would the Olkari be able to make musical instruments?”

• “Of course!”

• Lance secretly makes Coran SWEAR not to tell Allura or Keith what they’re doing.

• Shiro and Lance ask Allura to make a wormhole to Olkarion. When questioned why, Lance bullshits a detailed “explanation” as to why Lance and Shiro need to be there.

• Allura buys the whole thing and Lance and Shiro are off to Olkarion.

• “Lance, why did you lie to the Princess?”

• “Dude, you can TOTALLY use this as a way to woo her into falling in love with you!”

• “With me? I thought YOU were the one who wanted to be with the Princess.”

• “I like her and everything, but I KNOW you have feelings for her, so I’m gonna help you lock it up, dude! Bros before Hoes, right?” (In truth, Lance wants to woo Keith instead because he’s been pining for him for a while. Everybody but Keith and Shiro are aware of this.)

• “Whoa, don’t call her a hoe!”

• “Case in point!”

• They get to Olkarion and they describe the equipment they’ll need, along with additional instruments they want to have just in case (drumset, guitar, bass, mics, amps, etc.) as best as they can.

• Lance is surprisingly eloquent with the descriptions. The instruments the Olkari make are better than anything found on Earth. Lance tells the Gibson guitar company to eat their fucking hearts out

• Hunk and Pidge HAPPEN to be in the hangar when they return.

• Shiro freezes as the Green and Yellow Paladins spot him walking out of his lion with a fucking bass drum in his hands

• “Don’t tell Allura.” says Shiro looking like a deer in the lights of an oncoming bus

• “…Or Keith” adds Lance sharing the same expression as the Black Paladin

• Pidge and Hunk look at each other for a moment. “Why not?” Asks Pidge.

• Lance tells them the plan of forming a band to win the affections of Keith and Allura.

• “How about we join the band and help you?” Says Hunk.

• “Deal” says Lance and Shiro in unison.

• Pidge finds a completely soundproof room in the castle and watches the security cams so they won’t get noticed by Allura. (Keith spends all his time in the training room, so he won’t be a problem)

• They successfully metal gear solid all the equipment to the room without getting caught by Allura. They spend an hour in the room rehearsing.

• Lance is on Lead Guitar and Vocals (Lance’s guitar solos are what dreams are made of.)

• Hunk is on Bass and backup vocals (okay, listen to a song with vocals only and tell me the bass guitar isn’t important you fricks.)

• Pidge is on Rhythm Guitar, Piano, and backup vocals. (MY NONBINARY SMOL IS SO TALENTED AND I LOVE THEM AND I’M DEFINITELY NOT BIASED. FIGHT ME) •side note: they also sing lead vocals for Paramore songs, which they are surprisingly good at.

• Shiro is on drums. (Shiro sweats a lot when he plays, so he doesn’t wear a shirt. He also does that thing where he twirls one of the drumsticks while he plays with one hand. Because of course he can. Space Dad can do anything.)

• Coran calls Allura and Keith to the common room

• They start playing Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low the moment Keith and Allura walk through the door.

• During the verses of the song, Lance gets up close and personal with Keith as he sings, hitting him with the smolder™ (he brings his fucking A-GAME. Puffed up chest, confident grin, the occasional hair flip, and “fuck me” eyes that gave a whole new meaning to “if looks could kill”.)

• Homosexuality, thy name is Keith.

• Shiro decides to wink at Allura, as well as mouth the words “dear Allura, count me in” during the chorus.

• rip allura

• once the song is over, Allura compliments Shiro and caNNOT STOP STARING AT HIS CHEST. She kisses him on the cheek and tells him she really enjoyed it and that they should do this more often. (Obviously, she doesn’t know that that sounds really sexual. OR DOES SHE?)

• rip shiro

• the space parents become a flustered, giggly mess. Shiro pulls her into a passionate kiss. Not only that but Allura is also pulled into his sweaty rock hard chest.

• rip allura part 2: electric boogaloo

• Keith starts violently making out with Lance, and they do that thing where they walk and make out at the same time until they get to the hangar, where Keith (who’s still getting all icky-sticky with Lance) knocks on red’s foot so she’ll open up.

• they “have a bonding moment” in the cockpit.

• Red is… Surprisingly okay with this development.

• they do the walk of shame™ back to the common room

• Lance [internally]: I have no shame. This is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.

• when they return to the common room, everyone is applauding them. Because red and blue finally made purple. They finally did the mambo with their clothes off. They finally did the bedroom rodeo. They finally did whatever fucking euphemism for sex Pidge could think of.

• Hunk bakes Keith and Lance a “congrats on the sex” cake the very next day.

• this becomes a common occurrence within the castle (the performances, not the sex. Okay, also the sex. You get the point.)

[ishgardenjoyer]

The Broganes give advice

Shiro: Lance, you worry too much.

Lance: About what?

Shiro: Everything. Life is too short for someone like you to be worrying about things that will shorten it.

Lance: Fuck yeah.

——–

Keith: Lance, you’re a little bitch.

Lance: How so?

Keith: [punches Lance in the mouth]

Lance: [starts to cry]

Keith: See? If you really want the rainbow, you’re gonna need to put up with the rain. [Keith kisses Lance]

Lance: FUCK YEAH