#the very low points weren't that many thankfully. just very low

[sprinklepartyfall]

Bloodied Romance character info;

———

Name: Matthew (Mat/Matty) Scranton Drop.

Gender & Pronouns: Male, he/him.

Species: Human.

Occupation: Monster hunter, specialized in vampires, witches, and low level demons.

Favorite thing(s): Knives, plants, beds-

Relationships: Samuel (Brother), Y/n.

First impression on Y/n: WHAT THE F__K-

How they met Y/n: Coming home to find his brother with a vampire was probably something he would have never expected, so his reaction was quite appropriate... he yelled out exactly what he was thinking at the time, and Y/n wasn't too keen on that.

Summary: Matthew is usually a calm and collected monster killer, loves his brother dearly, and likes to keep to himself. When push comes to shove he can make the hard decisions, but when it's minor things he gets a bit indecisive.

Appearance: Matthew is about 5 feet tall, vitiligo skin, dark blue eyes, and black hair with dyed white tips. He wears the basic hunters outfit, something easy to move around in without too many layers; a brown coat, a sash containing his weapons, a black shirt, dark brown pants with a few stains, and black leather shoes.

———

Name: Samuel (Sam/Sammy) Tucker Drop.

Gender & Pronouns: Male, he/they.

Species: Human.

Occupation: Monster hunter, specialized werewolves and evil fae.

Favorite thing(s): Hugs, trinkets, food.

Relationships: Matthew (Brother),

Y/n.

First impression on Y/n: ...Probably dying.

How they met Y/n: Y/n was fighting another vampire on a full moon, and Samuel happened to be hunting werewolves that night, walking in the middle of the fight at the wrong time and almost getting himself killed. However Y/n killed the other vampire just in time to accidentally save him, being severely wounded and collapsing shortly after...

Summary: Samuel is a hard working hunter that strives to protect people, being gentle with most. Although he can be a bit skittish with monsters he is always able to deliver the final blow when needed... except with Y/n-

Appearance: Samuel has vitiligo skin, about 5 feet in height, bright blonde hair and light blue eyes. He wears something similar to Matthew, just with a few cloud accessories added.

———

Name: Y/n M/n L/n.

Gender & Pronouns: None, they/them.

Species: Vampire.

Occupation: Unemployed thief.

Favorite thing(s): Blood, weaponry, cuddles.

Relationships: Matthew, Samuel.

First impression on Moon: Easily startled, hot headed.

How they met Moon: Messing with a certain human (Samuel), Matthew came home very confused, shouting in surprise and anger. However the situation gets a bit worse when Samuel tried to explain, Matthew arguing while barely actually listening. A hug for Samuel from behind for his protection from the loud intruder quickly turns quite complicated...

First impression on Sun: Caring, skittish, stupid, needs protection.

How they met Sun: After waking up from a blind rage of a fight in a new, unknown place. Their wounds patched up as they layed in a bed, confused until they see a vaguely familiar face from the night before... Samuel explained what happened, and once Y/n clarified that they weren't actually saving him he got panicked quickly, being without weapons. Y/n decided from that point that they would protect the fragile human as a way to repay their "dept"

Summary: Y/n is a teasing yet formal vampire, also basically being a "scary dog privilege" for Samuel, considering they feel the need to show their gratitude for him saving their life. They can be a bit... possessive or overprotective at times, although never enough to cause huge problems, only minor ones. Thankfully vampires can numb their preys pain while biting them, their saliva even healing any wounds left from he bite afterwards, even though they wouldn't bite Samuel or Matthew... unless they let them. Y/n also being quite a strong vampire with a high pain tolerance, it was a good thing Samuel saved them and even befriended them in the end since they could probably kill them both in the right circumstances.

Appearance: Y/n has long hair, often left down, their height being 6'3. Mostly wears a dark purple cloak mostly to hide her face and a gothic medieval styled outfit, consisting of a ruffle cuff shirt, black linen pants, and leather boots.

————

Overall Summary: Out one night on a full moon, Samuel was hunting werewolves carefully in the night. A fight already going on, Samuel had accidentally stumbled into it without knowing and was narrowly saved by a vampire before anything could happen to him. Unfortunately that Vampire was blinded with their anger and aggression during the fight and collapsed with large wounds... Samuel now needed to decide if he'd kill this monster, or help them heal because of their lucky action for him.

[starshinc]

katsuki doesn’t tolerate fancy events very well. he especially doesn’t enjoy being paraded around as some beacon of hope for hero society because of his weird ass debt to the commission, but he still endures it anyway - as a favour to them for not locking him up or whatever. what’s it matter? at least he isn’t alone this time around.

crimson gaze glances to the support tech that practically sticks by his side with his therapy dog, brows furrowing a moment in concern. when the commission told him to bring izuku along, he actually tried to protest it. the man isn’t built for publicity. katsuki deals with it because it’s part of his job, and if he wants to be number one, he would keep doing so. izuku?

he was content working his magic behind the scenes - didn’t much like the spotlight.

the event buzzed around them with infectiously disgusting talks of this, that, the other thing; investors looking to strike deals and agencies placing their bets. most of them avoid katsuki. in turn, any poor soul that looks like they want to talk with izuku keep a distance… and katsuki wonders, then, if that’s why izuku stays near.

the music is slow. some people are taking to the floor. he has a feeling that people looking for their chance will keep circling the two of them until katsuki lets his guard down, and he despises that.

there was a way to maybe avoid this.

he eyes the floor a moment more, and finds his impulse acts first.

“still got two left feet?” he teases, low; warm palm encircles izuku’s closest wrist and tugs him toward the dance floor, making sure to pick a spot that allowed ramen to stay near. he doesn’t dance either. but- “c’mon. keep preoccupied all night, ‘n nobody’s gonna talk to you. and even if they try, i ain’t helpin’ ‘em.”

he hesitates now. katsuki hadn’t thought this far, really, and… fucking impulse, pulling him in impulsively stupid decisions, where he’s trying to steel his resolve and settle hands somewhere where it doesn’t feel like burning, and-

sometimes, he really gets izuku’s overthinking.

“don’t gotta be long,” he amends, as if it’ll make the sudden unease settle in his chest. “but i ain’t dealing with fucking vultures tonight. are you?”

he definitely wasn't planning on attending an event like this anytime soon. actually, if izuku had his way, he'd not be anywhere near this building - much rather be in his support lab, cup of tea in hand and sketching blueprints. but unfortunately for him, katsuki had approached and insisted on izuku coming along - something about the commission.

so somehow, he'd ended up at the event - dressed up as much as possible, thanks to the blond all but shoving a suit at him and doing what he could to make his curls extra soft considering there was no taming them. ramen, his support dog had been groomed (izuku prided himself in taking great care of the golden retriever's coat, but for an event like this, a professional wash and groom was probably a good idea...) and was proudly wearing a bowtie on his collar. he'd kept his working vest on, but he may have thrown it in the washer and dryer beforehand.

izuku was resolutely sticking close to katsuki's side, to the point of brushing against the taller sometimes. there were simply too many people - thankfully, not many had even approached. though, in fairness, the knowledge about jsl was shocking in the room - it would definitely be worth bringing it up to katsuki again, pushing more knowledge. it's important! he's just watching the dance floor, listening to the music and making sure ramen isn't bothered. the second people got too close, he'd tuck himself further into katsuki's side.

warmth around his wrists surprises him, but he allows himself to be dragged towards the floor, registering the words a few seconds later. wait, kacchan surely isn't going to do what he thinks - oh, no, he is. izuku's open-mouthed reaction was probably priceless, and they should thank their lucky stars that the media weren't invited to this event. thankfully, he could still sign.

'kacchan, you know i can't dance...!' the protest starts, signing more jittery than normal. thank goodness he'd picked a spot where ramen could sit nearby. but thinking on it for a moment or two, the logic made sense - there was no chance at ALL that anyone would bother them on the dance floor. with any luck, they could keep to themselves until it was an acceptable time to leave.

'okay.' he signed back, a little grin. 'i'm sorry in advance if i step on your foot.' he'd going to trust the blond to lead, here. and focus on not tripping them both over. 'i don't want to, ah... talk to any investors either, today.' he's already booked out for a good six months. perks of being the most recognised support technician, though he tries to ignore that fact on the daily.

'don't let me fall over, please.'

@dynmghts - unprompted!

[claire-starsword]

The Guardiana Magic School Run - Part 7

Well, here goes nothing.

Dang, that bonus is tight.

Mishaela's children start annoyingly close to us, and I think they also poison? I'm hoping Max and Gong can still tank things at this point, but I can't check the enemies' attack stat before hitting them at least once. Bats will be coming from the other side very fast as well, as bats do.

I don't know why I worry.

Except I do, they have 18 attack and Max has 17 defense, so I think we're on the limit of what Max gets scratch damage from, the Dire Clowns should be a bigger worry. Also look at that chonky magic res, the mages will not have a good time here.

Gong gets a lucky double hit and this thing drops a Medical Herb, I am once again calling out how wack drops have been through this run. I didn't even know this many enemies could drop things.

Thankfully the Mannequins are very slow so not only do I manage to beat them up before they ever act again but I also get to give the kills to Anri and Arthur who need exp the most. Now as usual we have bats to deal with and I'm wondering if I can split the team. Anri and Tao will be basically useless on stage as the enemies will have huge magic resistance, so these bats are their main chance at training. Arthur also can't do much up there because anything will wreck him, and I bet the clowns at least have enough defense to shrug his little spear off.

At the same time none of these characters can take a hit to save their lives, so I'm worried even though the bats are kind of outclassed by now. Guess I'll spare Gong to look out for them and hope I don't miss him up there for a while. Not like they'll take too long, the mage can easily take one bat down per turn, and if they don't dodge Arthur should be able to get good hits in as well. Gong also still have the Rousing Ring. To prove that there's nothing to worry about, he one hit kills a bat as soon as I send him there.

The mage duo destroy one bat in the turn as expected and Anri levels up to learn her signature Freeze spell. Not useful in this chapter as I said, but its time will come.

The goddamn bat ruins my training plans because it only has eyes for Max. I don't think it even has eyes to begin with, but for Max it would gain some.

I'm still gonna try saving it for the mages and Arthur, but I don't think Anri can reach this turn.

These other children of Mishaela however have Freeze level 1 which is an extra pain to think about, but Max should be able to tank them. Especially if the third one take its time coming.

Again why do I even worry about this man.

GOD this bat sucks though. Now if I send Arthur after it he'll be in range of the puppets. The puppets are likely going for Max though, but I don't wanna risk it.

Tao hits the bat but Anri can't reach, Khris heals Max from a Freeze he took to the face, of course the puppets went after him.

Lowe finally puts the Doll Hater to good use and gets the level up for Heal 2.

Also did you see this coming? I saw this coming a while ago. Why didn't I give him the Rousing Ring again. Why do I expect enemies to hit someone else. At least Arthur gets a kill and some exp.

It's turn 6 and these are the only enemies left, if it weren't the Marionette maybe I'd feel optimistic. At least Max refuses to sleep for any time more than he is forced to.

Turn 7. The Marionette moves right after Gong while the Dire Clowns are last, so I'm hoping he can take a Freeze and get healed by someone. Unfortunately there's a chance the clowns counter I think.

It's also tragic to see him hit for a third of the enemy's HP when he was one punch man just a battle ago.

That chonky level up means he's mad about it too.

D:<

I HATE THIS BATTLE

no one can take that! no amount of Charm Rings can help anyone take that! And it's an area spell! Why does a beginning enemy has a level 4 spell???

aaaaaaarghh. It's always Gong too.

Turn 8 already, no way in hell I'm getting the bonus. I doubt even a rush of Max + Doll Hater would get rid of the Marionette in a single turn, and without eliminating the clowns someone will die for sure. I didn't even advance anyone last turn because no one except Max has any chance of approaching now.

God he hits hard though, he's so ridiculous compared to everyone else.

hmm. I realize my mistake too late though. I sent Gong after the clown back there because he was faster than the Marionette, so if he survived the hit he could be healed before the clowns moved.

Max isn't, he's right after the Marionette. He's gonna get hit by the remaining clown and the boss in succession.

Maaaaaaaybe he can tank it but brace yourselves for first loss of the run.

Arthur picks up some coins in a chest just to feel something before going to hide in a hole or something, there's nothing he can do here.

THE CLOWN DIDN'T MOVE I LIVE

also i might be messing up the math here but. Max has 32% magic resistance, so I assume the spell is doing 68% of its base damage, which means the base damage is at most 17, as 68% of 18 is more than 12, and Max took only 11 damage. But Gong had at least 9% of magic resistance last time I checked and that would be enough to drop that 17 down, yet he took 17 damage. There's something wack about this.

Pointing that out does not help me win, but this is a school so it's important to off on tangents from time to time in hopes class reaches an end faster. Unfortunately here the fast way would be to die.

Max cannot finish that clown alone because he likes it too much. Tao has as much magic resistance as him, so I'm hoping that even if the Marionette aims at her she'll take the same 11 damage and survive. If the Marionette decides for a physical attack I'm dead. Also the clown has freaking 50% resistance so she might not even kill them but I have to try.

Blaze 2 barely makes it, anything weaker wouldn't.

Anri also opens a chest to feel something (it's a Steel Arrow) and joins Arthur in the "loser with less than 12 HP" corner. Sorry fellas I promise next battle is better for you.

Khris heals Max and gets a nice level up as reward. Lowe needs to start on some doll hating but I'd rather wait until the Marionette's next action has gone by. That will happen in the next reblog because i'm running out of images per tumblr post.

[aceshigh10987666]

[Transcript: Hey um, it's basically been a week since Wicked came out. Exciting, I've loved seeing people's reactions, um all the love for the movie it's, I mean I'm a fan obviously um, but there's something that's made me a bit uncomfortable um, and as somebody who's disabled with the platform I just wanted to talk about it really quick um starting off by saying two things. I have my laptop here by the way. I'm reading my thoughts because I get scatter brained and if I don't have my thoughts on a paper -

Anyways um, it is absolutely okay to not like a fictional character. I am going to be admitting my bias in the way that I have a lot of different feelings on Nessa than a lot of you do and that's totally fine. I think Nessa is complex*, um, but that's the beauty of art and Wicked. These characters and the movie wouldn't be what it was if there weren't different opinions on the characters and who's truly wicked or not and not liking Nessa herself is okay um, because she is fictional, that is totally fine.

Um, number two, I am a deeply unserious person, I love a little jokey joke, the house jokes? Silly, goofy, harmless because the basis of the joke is fictional. Jokes about Nessa's actions, her personality? Silly, goofy because she herself is fictional.

That being said um, and if you are looking for the comments in my comment section I've attempted anyways to delete most of them, um. Aggressive comments and jokes about Nessa's disability itself is deeply uncomfortable because disability is not fictional, um at the end of the day, me Marissa is theh person that is still disabled and in a wheelchair and so it is simply a low hanging fruit that too many of you are comfortable taking.

Um, before even being cast in wicked I had received comments just as me, as Marissa not Nessa, around the - I - or around the words of um, 'stand up for yourself,' 'I guess you can't stand him,' etc. These comments aren't original um and when these jokes are being made by non-disabled strangers with a punchline of not being able to walk it very much feels like laughing at rather than laughing with, um and the most - I'm literally shaking a little bit -

Uh the most frustrating part about all this is how scared I am to even post/talk about this um, which is also the bigger reason as to why I'm making this video in the first place. This goes so far beyond me, Marissa, just needing to ignore comments on the internet. These comments do not exist in a vacuum, um, aggressive comments of wanting to cause harm and push Nessa out of her wheelchair or that she deserves her disability are two very gross and harmful comments that real disabled people including myself have heard before.

Um I am scared also because I have seen firsthand what has happened to my disabled peers who are outspoken online when it comes to calling out ableism and why jokes of standing and being a vegetable - which is a derogatory term, by the way, for disabled people and a comment that I saw about Nessa.

Um these disabled creators' comments are flooded with ableist comments um, when speaking on ableism they're told to just take a joke and that they're asking for too much and to stop complaining to the point where some of my disabled peers use - disabled creators - have needed to take a break online for their own mental wellbeing. To state the obvious, that's not good.

To wrap this up because this is, it's, it's been a long one, um, **rather than dismissing one another and claiming an experience can't be true because you personally don't feel that way about a joke that wouldn't have affected your demographic anyways, listen to the people or to the person that it is affecting and how it makes them feel.

Thankfully I'm at a place in my life today where I can recognise these jokes about disability are made out of ignorance. I can't say the same about Marissa ten years ago um, and it would've affected younger me a lot more and I'm worried that a younger version of myself is somewhere on the internet and is harmed by these comments.

And I'm not claiming to speak for the whole disabled community when I'm saying this and I'm not trying to but I do know and have seen not in this specific instance but similar comments be made on my disabled peers' and disabled creators' videos to the point where again, it runs them off the internet. That's not good. Please be kind.

Um, and lastly I wanna say one of the major themes within Wicked is having the ability to listen and to understand one another and I truly hope that is something a lot of you can practice more and take with you. Thank you, love you, bye.

- Text added to the video by the creator:

* And not just black and white* she 100% could be a better sister. But I don't feel, (at least for now 👀) that she's an intentional villain ** Talking specifically to my non-disabled viewers specifically here:

/.end transcript]

[qierxing]

Obligations

Yan! Zhongli x Reader

Word Count: 2,837

How long can a man talk before he runs out of air?

Scratch that. How long can this man talk before you decide to strangle him?

"...as such, the rivers, plains, and mountains that are said to have been the remains of what is left of the dead gods remains…."

The intonation of Mr. Zhongli's voice nearly puts you to sleep at the ornate dining table, and if it weren't for the fact that you were at an esteemed establishment (even if you two were in a private room), you surely would've face planted and fallen asleep right there on the mahogany wood. But you don't, because it would be an insult to the very man (and the food) who invited you on this outing.

Mr. Zhongli is a respectable man and apparently, a good friend in your family's circles. Even though you've never met the man till now, even you're aware of his shining reputation; aunties giggling on how he's so charming and polite, cousins admiring his knowledge and strength, and other relatives likewise praising him to high Celestia and above.

And he is, you suppose, very handsome. His face is beautiful; high, defined cheekbones, molten amber eyes that glow warmly, pretty curved pink lips and nose to match. A good face, your auntie would say if she was here. An auspicious face.

“And that is how the geography of Liyue came to be...”

You're sure anyone in your position would be swooning over how his voice flowed like the trickling rivers that ran through Guili plains, but you just wished he would shut up at some point. Not even the delicious spread of food at the glass carousel wheel could distract from his tirade, and that was saying something.

Speaking of, why did he order so much food for only the two of you?

'In Liyue, you can always eat till you drop!' A saying that always echoed among the locals, and still holds true today. But even then, the intricately painted línglóng porcelain holding the remnants of steamed egg soup, roasted duck, squirrel fish, and more and more food, are way too excessive, even if he wanted to impress you.

You idly push around the Tianshu meat on your plate as he continues to drone on, wondering when you can politely excuse yourself without being rude.

-

"So, how was the dinner?" You internally groan as your mom's barely concealed excitement in her voice shows.

"Mama, we just sat there and talked." Well, Zhongli was the one doing most of the talking. But you weren't about to say that, not when you know a lecture awaits that answer.

"Isn't he a very handsome man?" Your mother's eyes gleam dangerously and a resigned sigh leaves your lips as she barrels on confidently. "Doesn't he seem like the perfect husband?!"

"Mama, it's ten in the morning…" What you wouldn’t give to eat your congee in peace.

"He is a respectable man, and quite knowledgeable to boot."

"Not you too, Baba!"

Your father merely chuckles as he continues reading the daily newspaper, and you roll your eyes as he continues chuckling behind the printed pages. Your mother swats at him to finish his porridge, turning to you with a frown on her wrinkled face. You brace yourself, knowing exactly what is coming next.

"[First Name], you're already of marriageable age, you should be looking for your future spouse! Your parents are growing old and when we die-"

"I will be perfectly fine without a husband." You cut her off, rubbing at your forehead. It was too early in the morning for this talk.

"Aiya, I don't want our only child to be by themselves! We will never know peace once we pass away, so much worry-"

You tune the rest of the lecture out, not even having the energy to refute her worries.

When you leave the house to take a walk, you meet the infamous Mr. Zhongli again.

"What a coincidence, I am also taking a walk to clear the mind. Would you perhaps like to join me?" And trapped by societal politeness, and the fact that this man did order you a three course meal the previous night, you agree.

So it's to your surprise that he does not immediately initiate dialogue as the both of you stroll leisurely through the stone gardens in Yunjin terrace, and a comfortable silence falls.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind." You turn to meet his gaze, and then away. Your frustration burns at you in the remainder of the morning's argument, but it dissipates at his concerned face. It is not his fault, you reason, that your mother wants you to court him for a possibility. For fortune. Despite the man's shortcomings, he is nothing but a gentleman.

"I don't want to pry but...I have heard that talking about your thoughts might ease your mind?"

You pause for a long time, breathing out your nose as you close your eyes.

"My parents want me to marry you." You've never been one to mince words, much to your mother's dismay at trying to teach you etiquette. "They think that you're a good match. And they're paranoid about me becoming a spinster."

There's silence for a moment and you open your eyes to not a face of disgust or shock, but rather one of musing.

"And you, [First Name]? What do you think?"

You turn your gaze to the water.

"Honestly? I don't know. I don't know you well enough to make that judgement. I know my parents are worried, but I don't want to get married for the sake of not being alone. I think it's rather selfish, to wish that solely for your partner."

The words tumble out of your mouth, one after another and you wonder how it is that it's easier to confess this to an acquaintance than your own parents.

"I was under the impression that people often like to pursue lasting romance in their lives. It's interesting to see this is not always true." Zhongli hums, hand coming to stroke his chin thoughtfully.

"Perhaps? I don't know. I've always been content with my friends." Shrugging your shoulders, you sigh. "Who knows? Maybe I have yet to meet the right person."

Zhongli hums again in response, seemingly in deep thought with a small frown pulling at his lips. A silence falls once again, and an awkward atmosphere falls upon the both of you.

"Oh yes, I never did thank you for the delicious dinner last night." You note offhandedly, half distracted by the swimming carp in the clear pond water. The water trails are hypnotic, and they help take your mind off the stressful morning you had.

"It was nothing. For my friend's precious child, that was the least I could do." He modestly replies, and you deadpan. It was nothing? A three course meal at Xinyue Pavillion, nothing? You know that squirrel fish did not have a low price tag.

"Regardless, I'm very thankful for your generosity." After all, not many tolerated your blunt, forthright personality, least of all the potential suitors your mother always brought before you. The memory makes you feel guilty at the irritation you had back then at the dinner. "The next time, I insist we have dinner at Wanmin--I've heard their black back perch stew is to die for. My treat."

He hums, and turns to you with a heartbreaking smile, a far cry from his previous countenance. "Is that a promise?"

You raise your eyebrow, "What are you, Morax? Yes, it's a promise, unless you hate fish, I guess."

His amused chuckles are soft but light a warm hearth in your heart.

-

Your mother is growing more daring than you remember.

She shoves you out the door as if you're some kind of fancy wrapped gift to offer to Mr. Zhongli, and there's a manic glee in her eyes as she eyes you and him standing together like a couple.

"[First Name] has been looking forward to this, haven't you, sweetie?"

The Liyuen hanfu she forced you into were a different cut than the modern cheongsam dresses of the current trends. Archaic, if you dare call it that. While some traditionalists still donned hanfu, it was not as common to see it in the streets. When she was shoving you in the under robes, she muttered about how it was something passed down in the family. Which explained a lot. These days, hanfu like this were something of a rich antiquity.

You sigh deeply, tugging your translucent pibo around you tighter as you decide to humor her, if only to get her to stop embarrassing yourselves and leave faster.

"Yes, quite."

Zhongli hums, and when you turn to face him, you're almost unnerved at how his eyes sharpen and scan over you, pupils slit like a dragon's. The moment is gone in a flash and he merely smiles at you gently before taking your hand in his gloved one.

"In that case, shall we get going?"

The nightlife of Liyue is in full swing and Zhongli tugs you closer, and there's something intimate in the way he presses you firmly into his side, the warmth he exudes sending pleasurable tingles down your body.

"Do forgive me for being so bold, [First Name]," He addresses you so tenderly, that you blush when you look back up from your joined hands, "You look absolutely radiant tonight."

How is it this man manages to say such an embarrassing thing so smoothly? What is his secret? He doesn’t seem like the playboys that often loiter around the downtown area of the harbor. You look away, unable to meet his eyes that reflect the lanterns and make his pupils glow.

"T-Thank you, Zhongli, you're too kind."

His eyes never seem to leave you, even when taking in the lovely scenery of Liyue at night. For the bright lanterns glitter and glow on the ocean waves, but his own pupils are glued to your being when you look in your peripheral.

“Is there something on my face?” Tearing your eyes away from the street in front of you, you turn to meet his gaze straight on.

He merely smiles.

“No.” He pushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture innocuous, but leaving a burning trail where his finger tips touch your skin. “I believe we have arrived.”

Thankfully you can excuse the burning in your cheeks and neck away with the spices that the Li cuisine favors. If anyone asks, it was the black back parch stew making you look flushed and out of sorts. Never mind the fact that Chef Mao looks quite amused at the fact you’re sputtering in response to his cheeky questions about you showing up with a man to your favored restaurant.

When you look up from checking to make sure your hanfu didn’t get any stains, Zhongli is uncorking a white bottle and pouring it into your cups. At your questioning look, he replies, “Dàqūjiǔ. The Li technique ferments wheat for about two to three months. This one in particular, has a fine aroma after being fermented for a while.”

“Hoh…” You chuckle at his explanation, “You really do know everything.”

“Hardly. I cannot say I know as much as the regular scholar…nonetheless, to good fortune!”

Echoing his cheer, you raise your cup and drink.

The alcohol burns your throat, and you’re reminded of your low alcohol tolerance. Yet, your fellow friend refills your cup just as easily, and who are you to refuse him? By the time you’re on your fourth cup, your world is spinning and you’ve developed a headache.

“Ahaha…wow...everything...is...moving…” You slur incomprehensibly and slump onto the bamboo table.

“Oh dear, we best get you back. In this condition, you’re too vulnerable.”

“No way...if I go back with you...my mom….she won’t let me…!” You raise your head from the cool table, but the effort of doing that makes you groan.

Zhongli all too easily picks you up bridal style, and after bidding goodbye to Chef Mao with a hefty bag of mora, he walks down the now empty streets of Liyue.

“Won’t let you what, dear heart?” He hums, stroking your face gently with the pad of his thumb.

“Won’t let me...let...us...ugh…”

“[First Name], do you like me?”

“Mmh...yeah…” Is all he gets, but the stilted, jagged answer is enough for him. The content smile that breaks his face belies the haunting glow of his molten eyes.

-

When you step out of the door of your bedroom, you're accosted by your sobbing mother.

"Ma-Mama?! What's the matter?" You frantically ask, pushing at her shoulders.

"Oh my sweet child, oh I'm so happy for you! When were you going to tell me, you brat?!"

"Tell you what?!"

"That you're marrying Zhongli, sweetie! Oh, this is such a momentous occasion--"

You're too shell shocked that you do not hear her next words. What? Marry? Zhongli? What on Teyvat was going on--

"--Hurry up, he's waiting for you in the living room!" You're snapped out of your daze when you're ushered hastily into the room, casual robes and all, right in front of the very person you had so many questions for.

The door shutting behind you does not muffle the excited chatter from your parents and you wince when you hear your mother excitedly bantering with your father. Turning and meeting an intense gaze, you feel like you’ve stepped into an arena with a monster.

"Zhongli, why are my parents under the impression we're marrying?"

His golden eyes crinkle in delight at your blunt words, "Because we are, my dear heart."

D-Dear heart?!

"I don't understand."

"What is there not to understand?" You step back as he rises from the cozy armchair he was given. It only just occurs to you how ridiculously tall this man is, and he towers over you, like a mountain.

"I believe we share a mutual attraction. After all, last night only proved it." He leans over and you flinch as he gently cups your face with a small smile.

"We've only known each other for a couple days!" You protest, leaning your face out of his hands. His smile dips into a displeased frown, hands falling to his sides.

"Why need more time to prove what is already there?" He tilts his head. “If this is a matter about your dowry, I’m sure I can help--”

“This isn’t about mora! Zhongli, this is moving way too fast--”

“Is that so? If I’m correct, I believe that your family’s come upon some hard times, no?” And you’re left breathless, struck silent. “Not down to the pits, but just one little slip and...well, your father’s business is already taking loans, isn’t it?”

Your teeth are grinding so hard against each other to the point where it echoes in your head.

“Marry me, [First Name], and you won’t have to worry about any of that. After all, I’ve always had enough good fortune to share. Are you so willing to crush your parent’s hopes and dreams for their child?”

“I-” Your mother’s tears on her weathered face come to mind, wrinkles from stress deeply indented in her skin. Your father, weary, veiny hands covered in scars from hard manual labor, shoulders slumped from his strength sapping. And you realize with a bone chilling fear that this man, this man was threatening to destroy the very foundation of your life.

He smiles upon seeing your uncertain visage, gritted teeth, clenched fists and trembling body.

"You'll look beautiful in red and gold."

-

How numb you feel!

Having to sit there while being dressed, being fawned over by your cousins, cried over by your mother and aunties, and your father and uncles chuckling over your good fortune. All the while, you cannot bring yourself to bring even the fakest smile to your face, only being able to muster up a sheepish smile, but it is of no concern, as everyone seems to mistake it for a shy front for a person about to marry their true love.

At least that’s how your mother is spinning it to your giggling aunties. And even when the festivities are over, you know that this is not the end.

Bare fingers trace your cheeks and lift your veil as a chaste kiss is placed on your lips.

This was supposed to be a day of joy.

Said fingers begin to trail down your body, and more sobs begin to shake your body. When you think about it, this might be the first time you felt his skin touch your own. Zhongli has always dressed conservatively, even covering his hands with his gloves. Thinking about it longer makes your skin crawl.

This was supposed to be--

Zhongli hums appreciatively into your collarbone as he slips your wedding garb off your shoulders, your world collapses and dims, with only a haunting amber light as your guide.

[silversatoru]

birthdays don’t have to suck

fushiguro megumi x f!reader (elli)

synopsis: you get really sick on your birthday, but megumi makes sure that you still have a good day :))

t/w: fluff, reader is sick, vomiting, medicine (tylenol lol), some details pertain specifically to elli

wc: 2.2k

a/n: a small birthday present for the love of my life @megumifushi who never sleeps enough and is always sick,, i love u and i hope ur days not too bad <3

you stared into your dimly lit laptop, red eyes squinting at the black text that sped across the screen as your fingers scrambled against the keys. you weren’t even sure that what you were writing was comprehensible at this point, but your essay that was due tomorrow morning wasn’t gonna write itself. at this point it just needed to get done, concerns of quality were thrown out the window hours ago.

aside from the burning and stinging in your eyes, your entire body ached, and you were ridden with chills and goosebumps. seemed like a fever was coming on, but you didn’t have the time or capacity to care about that right now. you’d pop a few tylenol and crawl into bed in a couple hours, and everything would be better tomorrow.

what time was it anyway? it couldn’t possibly be that late yet, right? 

you glanced to the corner of the screen, eyes falling on a bright 3:56am that made your heart sink and your eyes widen. you had a terrible habit of losing track of time and staying up into ungodly hours of the night — a habit that your wonderful boyfriend was trying so terribly hard to break. 

you glanced to your left and took in his sleeping form, his lips parted ever so slightly as he took small breaths of air. he’d be disappointed and upset with you if he knew how horrid your sleep schedule had been lately, and he’d probably blame your chills and headaches on your lack of sleep as well — which in all fairness was probably pretty accurate. 

“i’ll just finish this up real quick and then i promise i’ll sleep, ‘kay gumi?” you spoke softly, running your fingers through his soft, spiky hair. 

he was undisturbable, his mind off somewhere in a dreamland that was quite the distance from your small bedroom. and that was probably for the better, because him nagging at you to go to sleep would be too distracting for you to get your work done. 

your hands moved rapidly against the keyboard for about another hour, words spilling onto the screen until you finally hit the page requirement for your paper. it was probably terrible, most likely had a few words spelled wrong, and honestly you were pretty certain you’d repeated yourself several times, but fuck it — submit. you were typically an excellent student, so one bad paper wouldn’t kill you, and you were too tired and achy to care right now. 

you got up and placed your laptop onto your desk, plugging it in and letting a heavy sigh fall from your lips as you made your way back over to the bed. the soft blankets were therapeutically warm on your chilly skin as you crawled in against megumi’s back, effectively turning him into the little spoon and pressing your nose to the back of his neck. thankfully, sleep found you shortly after, your eyes fluttering shut as you drifted off into a much needed slumber. 

babe 

wake up 

babe

you woke up to small finger pokes to your cheek from megumi, his face laced with concern as your vision finally focused on his features. he bent over and pressed his lips to your forehead, pausing there for a fraction of a second and then standing back up. 

“i think you have a fever. i noticed when i woke up and you felt like a fucking space heater,” he frowned, confirming your initial suspicions from last night, “i’ll go get some medicine”.

you groggily nodded your head, shivers coursing through your body and dotting your extremities with goosebumps. your condition had definitely deteriorated overnight, your eyes stinging and a horrible nausea creeping up your throat. 

by the time he returned with the medicine you had yourself propped up against the pillows, thick blankets pulled up to your chin in an attempt to minimize the icy feeling in your body. he handed two small tylenol tablets to you with a disappointed look on his face — a look that said: i’m gonna kick your ass for not getting enough sleep again. 

“i’ll let everyone know you’re not feeling well enough to go out tonight,” he hummed as he handed you a glass of water, your brain filling with thick fog as you tried to decipher why he would need to let anyone know you were sick. 

the look of pure confusion signaled to him that you had no idea what he was talking about, megumi shaking his head before he spoke up again, “it’s your birthday, dumbass, we were supposed to get food and stuff with yuuji, inumaki, and nobara and maki”. 

birthday 

oh 

forgetting about that was another habit you continued to succumb to every year.

“mm, shit,” you sighed after drinking back the pills, “i forgot”. 

“figured you would,” megumi clicked his tongue, “but i didn’t, because i’m a good boyfriend. can you drag yourself out to the kitchen? you should eat”.

“don’t think so,” you mumbled, attempting to disappear back under the blankets before he could coerce you to follow him outside of the bedroom. 

but megumi is impossibly even more stubborn than you are, wrapping his arms under your body and lifting you to his chest, “guess i’ll just have to carry you then”. 

“fine,” you let out a long groan — was it a bit dramatic? maybe. but in your defense you felt like you’d been hit with a train.

he peppered your face with kisses as he carried you out of the bedroom, lovingly setting you down on one of the high bar stools around your kitchen table. he instructed you to stay in the chair, abruptly returning to the bedroom to bring out a couple blankets to wrap around your shoulders. you were grateful for the extra heat, you body still shaking and shivering as the medications worked to cure your fever. 

megumi was a man of few words, preferring to display his love for you through acts of service than grand confessions, and this was very eminent when he wordlessly grabbed a couple pots and began cooking for you. you let your face fall onto your arms, resting your chin as you watched him silently shuffle between the stove and the pantry. the silence was comfortable, and you weren't going to complain about watching your muscular boyfriend walk around the kitchen in nothing but a pair of loose, plaid pajama pants. 

a few minutes later he was placing a steaming bowl of soup and a couple slices of baked bread in front of you, a savory scent flooding your nostrils. 

“red lentil,” he spoke as he handed you a spoon, “it’s your favorite, so you better eat it”. 

“yes, sir,” you gave him a small smile, dipping the cool metal into the hot liquid and scooping a spoonful into your mouth. 

“all of it”

“yes, megumi, i will try”

to no surprise, the soup went down pretty fucking horribly, your head hanging low over the toilet while megumi held your hair out of the way. your throat was practically raw by the time you were done heaving and vomiting up the meal, your eyes brimming with hot tears. 

megumi tied your hair up in a neat bun so he could step away, filling up a glass with water and carefully helping you to take small sips and rinse out your mouth. he was tedious with the clean up, washing your face and helping you brush your teeth — ensuring that you felt the best you could given the situation. he then scooped you back into his arms, carrying you back to bed and profusely apologizing for making you eat the soup — but he was just trying to make you feel better, he really was doing his best.

you were ready to add today to your long list of terrible birthdays, chalking it up as another failed attempt, but megumi was not about to let that happen. he knew you had a rough history with birthdays, but now that he was here? you’d have a bad birthday over his dead body. 

he scoured the back of your fridge for ginger ale, gatorade, jello, and whatever else he could find to make you the perfect sick-person platter. and he made sure he was logged into every streaming service that the two of you collectively owned, preparing netflix, hulu, and crunchy roll so that he could easily access every single one of your favorite shows and movies. and so you spent the majority of your day tucked safely against megumi’s chest, forcing down small sips of ginger ale and watching an assortment of tv. 

your phone rang at some point — a facetime call from all of your friends who had gotten together so they could all wish you a collective happy birthday. megumi stuck a singular candle into a cup of blue-raspberry jello and ignited it with a small flame; and then they all sang the most terrible rendition of “happy birthday” that you’d ever heard, yuuji’s voice a little louder and little more out-of-tune than everyone else's.

you mustered enough energy to blow out the flame, everyone cheering while megumi shoveled a scoop of the blue jelly into your mouth. you swallowed it with a smile, praying it stayed down while everyone sent you off with an assortment of “feel better!”, “we love you!”, and “wish you were here!”

your night got pretty quiet after that, you and megumi climbing back under the covers to watch a few more episodes of your new favorite anime. it wasn’t until well into the night that he finally asked you if he could give you the presents he’d gotten for you. reluctantly, you said yes. you hated receiving gifts (it was just one of the many reasons you hated your birthday) but you knew that megumi wasn’t going to take no for answer. 

he was obviously nervous, palms sweaty as he handed you a couple neatly wrapped packages in plain, solid colored paper. they were very megumi, perfect folds with not a single crease, the paper simple yet elegant and adorned with a singular bow on top. 

you hesitantly peeled the paper off the smaller of the two, revealing a tiny box that contained a classic looking silver locket. you felt your heart pinch in your chest as you clicked the locket open and revealed two small pictures of each of the two of you. you weren’t particularly sentimental, but on top of your lack of sleep and not feeling very well, the simple gift caused few tears to well up in your eyes. but he was quick to wipe them away, insisting that you had to open the second gift first, and that birthdays weren’t meant for crying. 

you followed his instructions, ripping open the second package and revealing a larger box that contained a series of envelopes. each one was decorated with tiny doodles of you and megumi, his demon dogs, hearts, etc. they were sickeningly cute, and you immediately reached for the first one before megumi reached out and stopped you. 

“they’re not for now; they’re for when i’m gone, you know, on missions and stuff,” he could barely even maintain eye contact, his eyes dipping low as yours filled back up with tears. 

despite your lack of energy and the fever that was starting to return, you showered him in hugs and kisses after that, thanking him over and over for the most perfect gifts, and for making your day as wonderful as it could have been. 

all things aside, you were coming around to the idea that birthday’s don’t have to suck. 

bonus: the first letter: 

to y/n:

i know im not great at telling you what i have to say through words, actually, i’m kind of really bad at it. but i thought writing these might be a nice way to try and get better? i’m not sure. anyway, i guess i’ll start by saying that you mean a lot to me, and i probably miss you a lot right now (even though ill be too afraid to reach out and say it). not sure how long i’ll be gone for at the time but it’s probably a few days at least. gonna work hard so i can hurry back to see you. 

i hope you’re sleeping enough, but i know you’re not. you never do, especially when i’m not there to yell at you. i hope you’re eating enough too. but you’re probably also not doing that. you’re like taking care of a stubborn child, you know that? but this is supposed to be a love letter so i’ll try to refrain from scolding you too much. but do try to take care of yourself. ill see you soon. 

megumi

[corditeheart]

She drives, if only because she can leave if she needs to in the middle of the day.

It's a very quiet drive, thankfully (not that she and Squall are big conversationalists at the best of times, much less an hour after waking up), and the traffic is at low ebb (not that it's ever at high ebb in Balamb, considering the local population is outnumbered by the first and second-year classes at Garden alone.)

They make it up to Balamb Garden without incident, and Xu scans her ID at the gate to allow them access into the garage.

No one has tried to steal her parking spot while she's been away (it helps that there's a reserved sign with her name on it, she supposes.) But, then again, no one's tried to festoon it with balloons and garlands welcoming her back. Maybe Squall had deterred them. Maybe no one had thought about it at all.

She certainly wouldn't have.

A last check of her reflection in the rearview mirror is enough to see her out of the car.

Back to work. Back to normal.

Back to some semblance of routine, and it's nice how familiar it feels to walk through the doors, into the hallway that stretches toward the lobby. How many times has she made this journey in her life? Thousands?

It's as familiar as breathing.

There are only a handful of other employees around, mostly 3F staff and instructors dragging themselves out of bed to get to the caf before the entire student body wakes up; they fall into the routine of polite greetings, nods, acknowledging salutes. No one comments on their arrival together, even with the careful distance she puts between them while they walk (professional, but friendly).

But they're in company of bright minds. Xu doesn't expect someone not to have put it together at this point. They're as discrete as possible, but discretion doesn't really matter in a town this size, where it's impossible to keep a secret.

They take the elevator up with a couple of others; Xu sips her coffee, accepts the gracious welcome backs, both adminstrators offer her. It's good to be back.

"You weren't kidding," she says as they approach her office, and there isn't one, but three balloons, bright and shining, taped above her nameplate next to her door. Someone else has left a vase of flowers, and another, a gift card to the local coffee shop (make that three others, finding two more tucked beneath the first, with small notes written on the cardboard backing of the cards.)

It's strangely touching, seeing the small pile of things. She's not sure what to make of it-- maybe they had just thought it was necessary. Maybe they genuinely missed her.

"I'm not going to find a mountain of stupid little stuffed teddy bears and get well soon cards waiting for me when I open this, right?"

Xu takes forty minutes. Even with the coffee, Squall takes twenty, max.

By the time she is out of the shower, the pot is already brewed. Half of it has made it's way into Squall's mug. Well, the mug that was unofficially designated as his: white base, little black paw prints crawling up it. It likely was a well-intended holiday gift. At least it held a decent bit, and the handle could fit three fingers instead of two.

"My turn," he muttered once he heard Xu exit the en suite. The one thing he liked about this place was the never-ending hot water; there was no fear that it would be cold immediately after her.

Squall set his empty mug into the sink to be washed later. He slipped back into the room, around Xu (giving her a barely-awake pat to the rear as he passed), and into the bathroom.

Much to his surprise, without dissociating, showers did not take long at all. A quick wash, skipping his hair lest it become a fluffy nightmare with the humidity, and he is done. Drying seems to take longer. Dressing three times so, just because he has to get it out of the drawer instead of off his floor or draped over a chair.

Was he ready? As much as he'd ever be.

"Yeah. You?"

He grabbed his own keys and wallet from the bedside table and shoved them into his pocket.

"You want to drive, or shall I?"

No guarantees that if she drove, he wouldn't be asleep in the passenger's seat before they hit the first red light.

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (02)

➭ You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively;

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, unrequited love, heavy angst, fluff, lawyer au.

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

SERIES: CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 3

"Please, Joon. I just need to know if he's okay..."

Namjoon scratched the back of his head while looking at Red. The latter was practically begging him to spill things he's been forbidden to utter. He was sure he's just seconds away from telling her what she wanted to know, but then he's abruptly reminded of how heartbroken Jungkook was.

"Don't tell her I'm here," tears painted Jungkook's cheeks. "I don't want to see her. Not now." Or ever...

"He's not here, Red. I'm sorry," Namjoon sighed, trying to close the front door of his small apartment; regrettably, Red stopped him before the door shut in her sad face."I know he doesn't want to see me." She said with a shaky voice—causing Namjoon to purse his lips into a thin line.

"Right." He couldn't help but say. She deserved the snarky remark for hurting Jungkook beyond repair.

"But I'm worried about him. H-He was...so mad when he left."

'Who wouldn't?' Namjoon wanted to say, yet he kept his lips glued together. He needed to remind himself that although she hurt Jungkook, Red was still his friend.

"I'm sure he'll be fine wherever he is." Namjoon's caught Red's eyes. "Jungkook is strong, you know."

"I know." She looked at her feet; this caused the man inside the house to also look down. Namjoon was so busy shooing Red away that he didn't notice a big box on the ground. Judging by the looks of it, he deduced that this box belonged to Jungkook. The tower of sketchpads and other art materials was already a giveaway.

"Can you give this to him, though? I'm not sure when I'll get to see him again, and I know he can't live without this stuff, so..." Red picked up the box. "Please, Joonie..." She added when the older boy didn't say anything.

"Fine."

In the end, Namjoon gave in. He didn't have a choice. This was the only way to make her leave; however, he instantly regretted his decision when he spotted Jungkook sitting on the couch."What did she say?" Jungkook inquired eagerly; his eyes flew on the box that's juggling in Namjoon's arms. Jungkook saw his friend trip over a non-existent stone.

Namjoon was really clumsy.

"She wants me to give this to you." The older boy handed the box to Jungkook in exchange for his precious daughter.

"Ji-eun..." Namjoon cooed, bopping the nose of his three-year-old child. Ji-eun chuckled; her little finger was poking her father's deep dimple.

"Appa!" Ji-eun's eyes twinkled. She missed being in her father's embrace even though it hadn't been long since Namjoon left her with Jungkook.

Ji-eun couldn't help it. Jungkook used to be the fun uncle, but all he did now was cry and snort. Admittedly, she's getting tired of wiping his tears every second.

She wondered who made uncle Jungkook cry.

"Huh." Jungkook huffed as he examined what was inside the box. Namjoon was right. It's full of the younger boy's stuff.

"Is she really so eager to kick me out of the house that she personally brought my things here!?"Jungkook was seeing red. Profanities left his lips as acid dripped down his stomach. He's so mad at his ex.

"Language, Jeon," Namjoon warned, turning away from Jungkook. He couldn't let Ji-eun listen to the younger boy's dirty mouth. "Besides, you're the one who left."

Jungkook didn't know how to respond to that, mainly because Namjoon was correct. He was the one who left in the middle of the fight. In his defense, he was hurt. What Red was saying was too much for him—it was painful, the kind of pain he knew would forever haunt him.

"I love him, Kook."

Red's confession echoed in Jungkook's mind again. Red told him she loved her soulmate. Jungkook didn't want to believe her because how? How could she fall in love with another man just by looking at him in the eyes?

"We've been seeing each other for months now."

His question had been answered. Red was a cheater, and it's the last straw for Jungkook. He couldn't take it anymore, so he stood up.

"I hate you, bitch!"

The pain that crossed Red's face indicated that Jungkook had gone too far. He didn't mean it, but he's hurt, and this was the only way he could hurt her back.

Before Red could say anything, Jungkook was already out of the door.

It's two am in the morning. Jungkook was certain that the only awake person that he could bother right now was none other than Namjoon, his brother-in-law.

Thankfully, Namjoon's apartment was just a few blocks away from Red's home.

"Kook?" Namjoon squinted his eyes after opening the door. He's been awake for straight twenty-seven hours to the point that he couldn't tell if Jungkook was really in front of him or if he's just hallucinating.

"Hyung..." Jungkook broke into tears upon seeing his only family.

Namjoon let the crying boy inside his house.

"I ran out of tea..." This was Namjoon's excuse when he handed Jungkook Ji-eun's milk. Namjoon didn't even have time to buy his groceries since his daughter occupied most of his time.

Fortunately, it looked like Jungkook didn't give two fucks as he was already halfway finished drinking the warm milk.

It's been exactly fifteen minutes since the younger boy came knocking on Namjoon's humble abode. Jungkook had stopped crying, though he still looked a little shaken.

"Red found her soulmate..." Jungkook spoke right before Namjoon could ask what happened. Suddenly, the older boy found himself biting his bottom lip. He didn't want to pry about Jungkook's life, but then he's reminded of the wish of Hye-Jin, his late wife.

"Take care of my brother, Joon..."

"D-Do you wanna talk about it?" Namjoon asked before he changed his mind. This was the only thing he could do for Hye-Jin.

"What's there to talk about?" Jungkook hissed even though he's the one who started telling Namjoon things. The latter kept his head low. In times like this, he wasn't sure what to say.

It's not like he's better than Red. Namjoon also broke up with the woman he was dating right after meeting Hye-Jin. The only difference was that Namjoon's ex perfectly understood the situation. She knew that they weren't destined to be together.

"She cheated on me. She said she's in love with her soulmate." The bitter taste in Jungkook's mouth was still there. It only strengthened as soon as the word 'soulmate' left his lips. Jungkook continued pouring his heart out to Namjoon despite saying he didn't want to talk about it.

"She's going to regret leaving me. No one can love her the way I do!" Jungkook swore, but Namjoon's almost 100% sure he's wrong.

Seeing colors were different. It felt like everything was perfect. Namjoon couldn't deny that one of the many reasons he fell in love with Hye-Jin was because she helped him see the wonderful hues.

It's like the more he fell in love with her, the brighter the colors became. Even now that she's dead, Namjoon could still see colors. Granted that it kind of faded, it's still the best thing Namjoon was proud to experience.

The rule of the world was simple. As long as your soulmate was in love with you, the colors would always be visible in your very eyes. It would only become less bright if your soulmate died. However, the case of a one-sided love was different. People wouldn't be able to see colors if their soulmates didn't give them their hearts.

Some said that there were cases wherein people went blind when their soulmates started to hate them. Namjoon and Jungkook didn't know if it was true or just a myth. After all, they hadn't encountered people who apparently 'went' blind because of the mentioned reason."I'm telling you, hyung. She'll come to see me soon."

Jungkook was right. Two weeks after their fight, Red showed up. Unfortunately, it's not to beg her ex to come back. She only returned a box full of his stuff, a clear sign that she's officially kicking him out of their shared apartment.

"How can she do this to me? It's my house too!" Said Jungkook nine days after Red's appearance in front of Namjoon's apartment, it finally dawned to him that his ex was no longer a part of his life.

It's really over.

Jungkook realized this while staring dumbly at his ruined sketchpads. Ji-eun accidentally spilled a glass of water on her uncle's drawing.

The mixture of pain, anger, and frustration caused Jungkook to scream. He couldn't possibly be mad at a three-year-old kid; that's why he just directed his negative emotions to the fact that Red practically kicked him out of their home—his home.

He was aware that Red's name was written in the lease contract, but Jungkook paid this year's rental fee. He's broke at the moment. This being the case, Jungkook swallowed his pride to come to live with his brother-in-law. The thing was, it's getting hard for him to stay there. Namjoon had only one room, so Jungkook slept on the couch—wait, this wasn't about right. Jungkook didn't even get to sleep. Ji-eun's cries wouldn't allow him to do so. Aside from this, the little kid had also ruined her uncle's drawings countless times now.

"Seriously, Kook. You need to move out of your brother-in-law's house." Taehyung pouted his lips.

Jungkook couldn't decide if he could take his friend's advice seriously, at least not when Taehyung's tongue was basically down Jimin's throat.

"I can't afford to lease a new place." Jungkook scrunched his nose, eyes still focused on the disgusting public display of affection in front of him. "I only have forty dollars in my bank account."

"Oh, you poor thing." Jimin slightly pushed his boyfriend's chest to dodge his kisses and to be able to look at Jungkook.

Jungkook snorted. He didn't want to be babied, especially not by Park Jimin, who he met just a few months back.

Park Jimin was Taehyung's real soulmate. It was still weird seeing them together. All his life, Jungkook believed that Taehyung, his childhood best friend, was a straight man. Taehyung dated a lot of women before; he also seemed to enjoy being with them.

This was one of the reasons why Jungkook hated the idea of a soulmate. It was a complete bull. It was unfair to let fate decide who you'll end up with. Jungkook witnessed Taehyung's struggle after meeting Jimin. He was happy that he could finally see colors and that it didn't take him long to like Jimin, but Taehyung was so confused.

Like Jungkook, Taehyung also thought he was straight, but then his world suddenly turned upside down. Before he knew it, Taehyung was crying. He was too overwhelmed with what was happening, and Jungkook hated it. The latter didn't care about genders; he supported those who didn't identify themselves as heterosexual. Jungkook hated that people had to limit what they thought their gender was just because of the concept of soulmate. Again, it was not fair.

"But I can help you..." Jimin added as he took a bite of his frozen yogurt. They were currently inside of an ice cream shop. Jungkook had to get out of Namjoon's home since it was getting hard to look at his ruined works. He called his best friend to help him destress. Jungkook just had to let his frustrations out. Luckily, Taehyung and Jimin were more than happy to treat their younger friend some frozen yogurts. Jungkook ordered three of the said dessert.

"No, Jimin." Taehyung said as if he'd read his boyfriend's mind. "Jungkookie isn't going to suck your dick for money."

"Aw." Jimin's lips protruded into a sulky pout, making Jungkook roll his eyes. Sometimes he couldn't believe the couple's relationship. Jungkook knew that Jimin was only joking, but Jungkook thought he couldn't let the love of his life think about someone else's body. He was pretty possessive.

"We can call Yoongi-hyung, though. I think he's in the mood for some dicks—"

"Guys!" Jungkook groaned, cutting them off. His eyes were widening too. "Can we stop talking about dicks for five seconds? I have a serious problem here."

"Oh, right!" Jimin's eyes lit up. He also cleared his throat—an action that made Jungkook sigh in relief; at least he's getting serious now. "You need to find a roommate, Kook. Lucky for you, I have a friend who's looking for a housemate. I think she could cut you off some slack."

The younger boy's scoff was almost instant. "Cut me off some slack?" He narrowed his eyes at Jimin. "I don't want to owe anything to anyone. You know that."

Jimin shrugged his shoulders, taking another bite of his frozen yogurt. "It's not like that. You'll actually be the one doing her a favor. She's in dire need of a roommate, Kook. She wouldn't mind if you couldn't pay rent right now, as long as you're willing to keep the house clean and look after her cat. You can do that, right?"

Of course, Jungkook could. He was an artist; he spent most of his time inside his home, silently drawing whatever came into his mind.

"Huh." Jungkook was still skeptical. "Can't she just hire a maid?"

"Wish it was that easy. She's a mess. Not even her maids can tolerate her shit. Besides, her cat is a total bitch. She scratches anyone that's not her owner."

"I'm not sure..." Jungkook scowled. He wasn't sure if he could live with a stranger. Jungkook was a shy boy; it actually took him a long time to even say 'hello' to Jimin.

"Just think about it, Jungkook..." Jimin smiled warmly at the younger boy. "I swear she's a decent person. Yes, she's messy, but aside from that, she's fine. She doesn't pry on anyone's life; she's quiet, just like you, and oh! She likes banana milk too! I swear, Kook. You'll like her!"

For some reason, Jungkook's heart skipped a beat. He knew Jimin was kind, he's the type of person who always talked about the good qualities of a certain someone, but this was the first time he spoke about someone with such passion.

Jimin continued to talk about you, his lovely best friend. If you could hear him right now, you were sure you'd end up crying. Jimin was indeed the best friend you could ask. He's fiercely loyal.

"It's true, Kook. You'll love her." Taehyung talked about you with the same intensity. He had met you, and he instantly fell in love with you. You were smart and witty.

The couple continued sharing things they loved about you. Jungkook swore he's not easy to convince. The only acceptable reason why he's standing in front of your apartment was that Taehyung and his boyfriend knew the magic of words. They had done an excellent job convincing him.

Jungkook let out an exasperated breath when you still didn't answer the door after his ninth attempt to knock. Truthfully, he was getting pissed off.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.

Just as when he was about to leave, the door suddenly opened with so much force. Jungkook was startled.

"I'm sorry, I was in the shower. I swear I heard you the first time you knocked, but I was panicking, so I slipped down the floor, and I..." You ran your hand through your wet hair, eyes widening when you saw your fingers covered in soap suds.

"Oh, my God!" You were panicking again. This time, you finally looked at Jungkook to see his reaction.

You were rambling about how this whole situation was so embarrassing, but Jungkook wasn't listening anymore. How could he focus on anything when his heart was beating this fast? Jungkook was pissed before he met your eyes, right now; the irritation he felt was rapidly boiling down to panic when he realized what was happening.

Colors.

Jungkook was used to seeing black and white, so imagine his confusion when the colors suddenly became visible in his eyes.

Nothing made sense to him, but one thing's for sure.

Jungkook had found his soulmate.

[pbandjesse]

I just cut my tongue on my very sharp pocket knife. Incredible. Just killing it today.

Honestly I am a little more on edge today then normally. My anxiety was very very high at many different points. But I hope that I can end the day strong.

I slept okay last night. Waking up was hard. I had to get out of the house quick and James was very helpful. We mostly got everything together last night and they grabbed the last of it for me. I got dressed and they walked me to the car and I was on the road on time.

I did have someone pull in front of me and really upset me. I was just so angry and couldn't get my heart to stop racing. I was not having fun.

I got to camp right before 8 and couldn't find anyone I needed and couldn't get anything done and was walking back and forth from the lodge to the office and was just really frustred. Thankfully it would get better.

Teaching perspective drawing is a little tough. But honestly so many kids did such a good job today. It really is a project that can happen really fast though so I am very glad that I have so many other things to share with the kids. The first group has weird timing though and wanted to do things that weren't possible in the time frame and I had to say no a lot and that made me feel bad. But thankfully I could mostly say yes to everyone.

I got very very upset at lunch. When again it was a black bean burger. Apparently that is also what they had for dinner last night. And for Thursday and Friday. And the kitchen claimed that they didn't know how many vegetarians their were and they didn't start cooking until closer to 1. When my group is at 115. And my blood sugar was low and my hands were shaking and I was almost in tears. I snapped at someone because I knew if I talked I would started sobbing. And it was hard to explain the anxiety I feel around food.

I would end up trying to eat the food and just leaving. I was a little beside myself. I sent a long message to Chris after talking to some other vegetarian kids and getting some ideas. Hopefully it improves because it really upsets me.

The afternoon was easy. A very sweet day camp group and then the older girls. We did clay and drew and painted and it was fun. I thought I had one more program but I didn't! So I would go down to nature to give Laura a piece of candy and then cleaned the crawfish and newt tanks. Frenchie looks to be doing well though their water is very cloudy. I did a partial change and vacuumed the rocks. I hope he's happy in there.

I went swimming next. Hung out with Remy and Izzy. Enjoyed just diving down and being quiet. I would get out around 430 and got a shower. Laura came after that and was probably annoyed I wasn't still swimming but she'll live. I didn't want to fight the kids for the good shower once their swim hour was done.

Dinner was better. And Charlotte would help me with theme after because it was just counting straws. And now I'm just hanging out. I am really tired. But it's the 4th and it's almost time to go walk down to the pool to sit with CJ and see the fireworks. I hope you all have a good night. Stay safe out there. I love you.

[runningdownthatroad]

I just have to get this off my chest after seeing some very disturbing posts about 9/11 floating around on my dash as well as some truly crude commentary. A lot probably won't agree with my sentiments but I feel like this needs to be said.

I've seen a lot of things on Tumblr in the past that maybe I consider to be in poor taste or don't agree with but I usually just scroll past, sometimes block for curating sake, but today is the first time I truly was shell-shocked. To see the memes and blasé jokes people are making about this day are just absolutely horrific and appalling.

I get that a lot of people on this site now may not remember what happened that day and only learned second hand through school or media or other people telling them. I get that a lot occurred after this that wasn't right which we definitely should be learning from. I also get that there is a lot of anti-American and anti-white sentiments going around currently, especially on this site.

But here's the thing:

Not only Americans died that day. Not only white people died that day. That's the thing about terrorists and what these hijackers did: they don't care about your skin color, your culture, your religious preference, your sexual orientation, your gender orientation, your age, your economic status, your personality, whether you support them or not, your political persuasion, your job, or any of it. Everyone is fair game to them. For crying out loud, look at what the Afghani people are currently going through and how the Taliban are treating their own country's people, women especially. If you think this is bad (which it truly is), have you seen how things went under their rule before 9/11 even happened? Do you know their terrifyingly violent and brutal history? Women had acid thrown in their faces if they didn't wear a full hijab. People were mutilated or executed if they didn't fall in line with the law of the Taliban. And this doesn't even begin to go into Al-Qaeda or Isis. But I'm not here to talk about that or delve into that topic too much.

My point in mentioning all of this is that white Americans weren't the only ones that were killed that day. People of all faiths, of all colors, of different countries, died that day, too. And the unity that is consistently discussed every 9/11 anniversary is in regards to us being aware of that fact, us mourning all of their losses together, and the collective desire to come together and help once the planes hit and after the towers collapsed.

So when people say "why am I supposed to cry over white Americans getting killed that day" think about that. Not only white Americans died that day. And regardless of their color, their nationality, their culture, their religion, etc. anyone dying is always sad. Whether it be a jetliner being used as a weapon that crashed into their floor or someone dying of cancer or someone being killed in a mudslide or someone dying in a car accident -- it is always sad. And empathy should always be shown in response, even if it doesn't impact you personally. Let's not forget these people have loved ones that got left behind, that are still here.

So when people say "if something knocks into a cow and knocks it over, I'm not expected to care, but if something knocks into a building and knocks it over, suddenly I'm supposed to care?" think about that. People aren't grieving two large pieces of steel architecture. People aren't saying "always remember those two towers". The WTC Towers were a symbol (yes, for American wealth, I get it) but became so much more of a multi-faceted powerful symbol after 9/11. The towers represent a way of life before 9/11 happened, but more importantly they represent the people lost that day, who were in the towers when they collapsed. For all of the first responders who were stuck on those floors still trying to help evacuate people to safety when the buildings finally gave. The two footprints and two blue lights aren't a symbol of American wealth or a naivete and simpler way of life pre-9/11 - they are a symbol of memorialization for that day. The Freedom Tower was erected to show that despite the loss of that day, we stood united (even if there seems to be more and more division these days). It's a message to the world that yes, destruction and death happened that day in NYC, but so did rebuilding and life carrying on. It's a symbol of strength, resilience, and unity - something that was everywhere you looked days after this event occurred. The two towers (aka NYC) may have gotten knocked down but the city got back up. They weren't kept down - that's the point of the Freedom Tower.

When people say "I don't understand, what is it that I shouldn't be forgetting since I can't remember it anyway" here is what we all should be remembering despite our age or our connection (or lack thereof) with this event:

2,997 innocent civilians died that day. Among them were 343 firefighters, 37 police officers, 23 Port Authority police officers, 8 EMS workers, and 4 other first responders. Also among them were 246 people on the four planes that crashed.

The passengers of United Flight 93 made a choice to fight back against the hijackers and saved lives that day by sacrificing their own.

Many children lost parents. Many parents lost children. Many brothers lost sisters, and many sisters lost brothers. Many spouses lost their significant others. Many lost friends, family, and loved ones.

For those who want a better connection to this day who didn't experience it and/or don't remember it, and for those others who are seriously lacking in empathy: yes, it was a highly publicized event due to the hundreds of cameras (including media outlets) watching that day, but if the horrific images aren't enough to garner some of your empathy, then there are plenty of other resources at your disposal. Documentaries like 9/11 by James Hanlon and the Naudet brothers, 102 Minutes That Changed America (which shows you not only all of the first-hand eyewitness accounts that day but also lets you hear 911 calls, radio transmissions between firefighters, and people's reactions to the event and each other who were there), 9/11 Firefighters (on Discovery Plus) and even more recently, 9/11: The Turning Point (on Netflix) which provides a 360 degree view of the events that led up to 9/11, 9/11 itself, and what came after, displaying all different viewpoints. You can read the 9/11 Commission Report or there are several books and memoirs out there like Wake-Up Call by Kristen Breitweiser, or even historical accounts in books, newspaper articles, and online. But most importantly, listen to people's stories. The ones who were there, the ones who saw it happen, the ones who ran in to help, the ones who lost loved ones. That is the most important part and the most powerful. On Hulu, ABC News ran segments of 9/11 Twenty Years Later, "Women Of Resilience" being especially powerful. It's hard not to feel a human connection to these stories or any kind of empathy.

For those who are making these jokes and memes, if you like shows like 9-1-1 and Chicago Fire, etc, imagine those first responder characters rushing into those buildings to save lives and losing theirs in the process. If you don't remember 9/11 or feel any connection or empathy, imagine hundreds of Bucks or Eddies or Bobbys or Hens or Chimneys dying that day as they worked to save so many. Sorry to be so blunt because I love those characters too, but do you get a little bit of the connection now? Do you feel any empathy? I'm not trying to equate real life heroes and sheroes with fictional characters of course, but if it helps you to understand a little better in some way, well...I'm throwing it out there.

I myself lived in the Tri-State area at the time of the attacks. I remember seeing the second plane seconds before it crashed into the second building. I remember the devastation I felt watching the first tower collapse knowing that a loved one was most likely inside and how hard I cried thinking he was dead. (thankfully, he had been late to work that day and he got out of the area before the towers came down) I remember the relief and gratefulness we all felt hearing from him to assure us that he was alive when he finally was able to get to a phone, stating he was covered in dust and ash from the buildings. I remember the panic and fear we all felt, thinking the world was ending and we were all going to die, that this was it, this was World War III, after it was confirmed that the Pentagon had also been hit and there was also a downed plane in Pennsylvania. I remember the grief another loved one suffered because she lost her entire floor (she had been out sick that day) and every single one of her co-workers. I remember the race to pick up children from school and get them home as soon as possible. I remember the rage that coursed through us seeing the footage of some people in certain countries celebrating the attacks in the streets, enjoying the deaths of so many Americans, a couple of these countries who lost citizens themselves in these attacks. I remember the camping out in front of the televisions night after night for a week straight afterwards, watching the news 24/7, worrying that there might be more attacks. I remember the feeling of sheer terror anytime a plane was heard overhead or seen appearing low enough in the sky that you could practically make out which airline it was for months afterwards. I remember seeing the lights the first time they were lit from our home. I remember feeling pure fear not only for what happened that day but also what came afterwards (not yet understanding that these weren't practitioners of Islam that did this but radical extremists who had literally hijacked the religion). I remember seeing the devastation at Ground Zero through a tear in the fabric over a fence as we walked through the city months afterwards. I remember not wanting to fly for years. I remember the anger I felt that our government had failed us due to political bs between agencies and countless others (which we found out especially when the 9/11 Commission Report came out) and that because of this horrific and absurd failure, thousands of innocent people had died. I remember seeing the crushed ladder truck, and the toy of the little girl who was on one of the planes at the 9/11 Memorial Museum and all of the pictures in that room that just floored me. (I also remember being pissed off that many were treating it as a selfie op where they were allowed to take pictures, completely missing the point of the museum's existence) But most of all, I remember feeling that life would never be the same for any of us ever again, and that the feeling of safety we had naively enjoyed on September 10, 2001 would never return.

But I also remember the compassion and unity we saw rising in the country after those attacks. I remember the gratitude for all of our first responders, those we lost that day and those who were still with us, actively working to recover those lost and to clear Ground Zero. I remember the feeling of collectiveness, that we all shared grief and showed support to one another in those days afterwards. I remember the fallen heroes and sheroes who ran into those buildings, who were off duty but raced from wherever they were that day to come and help. I remember The Man In the Red Bandana aka Welles Crowther (and many like him who worked to save others) who has become another important symbol of that day. I remember hearing all of the stories of people helping one another before and after the towers collapsed. I remember the good that this day represents. That while we may have seen some of the worst of humanity that day in the form of violence, death, weaponized airplanes, and devastation, we also saw the very best of humanity in the form of our first responders and people helping one another.

Look, did Islamophobia happen? Yes. Was it right? No, absolutely not. As I stated above, I myself feared the idea of the religion until I was educated by a friend of mine about the difference between the religion and extremism. This form of hijacking ideology can be seen in examples like the Westboro Baptist Church or even Hitler. Terrorists do not represent the true spirit of Islam no matter what the former tries to force people to believe. Just as the WBC is not the true spirit of Christianity, and so on and so forth. But even during the time I had feared the religion before gaining understanding and clarity, I never confronted or mistreated any practicing Muslim or Arab-American. Ever. I never posted hate or spewed vitriol against them. Just like with the current pandemic, I still cannot believe there are people out there attack Asian-Americans as if this whole thing is their fault. That's still mind boggling to me and it is absolutely 100% WRONG. It should not be happening. Same with Islamophobia. And it breaks my heart to read that many Arab-Americans and practicing Muslims still worry when this anniversary comes around that they may be attacked. It might not mean much, but I just want to say I am truly sorry for that and you have my full support. Always.

Did we go to war and was it just? Yes we did go to war. Was it just? Afghanistan? I need more information in order to have a fully-formed opinion but there are plenty who say yes and plenty who say no. Plenty who say we made things better over there (before we exited and the Taliban advanced) and plenty who say we didn't and only made it worse. I truly cannot say which assertion is correct and I think it would be narrow-minded and completely moronic (and possibly arrogant and presumptuous?) of me to speak on a subject I know so little about, one way or the other. Iraq? No, I don't think it was just and I honestly wish we could go back and do things differently.

But coming back to 9/11 and what this day means for so many, the people who died, the people who rushed headfirst into danger, the people who lost their loved ones. We saw incredible bravery, selflessness, and compassion for your fellow human that day despite what happened. We saw the strength within ourselves despite the fear and anger. We saw resilience. That is what the anniversary is meant to be a reminder of. The sacrifices, the loss, the courage, and the strength. Black, White, Gay, Straight, Christian, Muslim, Man, Woman, Young, Old -- it didn't matter. We all came together.

So regardless of whether it's the cool thing to do right now on this site (or elsewhere) to hate on America or 9/11 or white Americans or the anniversary itself on the very anniversary of these attacks, I ask that you please consider when posting these hurtful (and frankly harmful) words of hatred and vitriol such as referenced above that there are people out there who lost their loved ones on 9/11, that yes some of them may be on this very site and going through the 9/11 tag, and that some of them may have even lost a loved one in either war and are again on this site reading your words. Regardless of what you think or feel, please consider them and tag appropriately if you're going to post. Please consider that some of these people are currently losing their loved ones due to 9/11-related illnesses because of the cleanup at Ground Zero. Please consider that there are children who lost a parent or loved one, or who were orphaned that day (yes, they exist, we had some in our school district) who are also on this site reading your words. Basically, please just consider and be considerate. Please stop spreading hatred on a day that happened due to hatred; please stop perpetuating that cycle.

Like Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."

TLDR: Love and light, my friends. Love and light. ✌️❤️

[alatismeni-theitsa]

I understand your point as well and your frustration is justified. Definitely two different reactions when it comes to wildfire tragedy and the motivation of the state.

Fire came almost this close to my family house and I felt... nothing. (Actually I felt a pit in my stomach, a growing nothingness) I realized at that moment that the fate of my family house was in the hands of the state and I had no control over the situation. (The house's position didn't allow my family to protect it with water if it caught fire) And we all know how things usually go "in the hands of the state", judging by all the destruction we see every year.

Thankfully the fire was put out but the chances of it being put out in time were low and that's what has slightly traumatized me to this day. With so many homes burning for so many years - one being the house of the grandparents of a friend - I was thinking "why not my house, too?" Especially when that house was in a small town and neither the media or anyone else would give a crap about it and the state will probably feel less responsible to do something. And in a place where my family is ostracized because of mental and physical chronic illness (aka in addition to the state having disappointed me, I wlso feel that society / the people of this country already don't give a damn about me/my relatives)

In a way I see myself in this video. At that moment, no matter what I did from my side (eating, playing games, dancing), the outcome of that fire would be exactly the same for my house. It is a horror to live in a country that you know has low chances of helping you but when you're truly desperate you can go into a state that can look very uncaring on the outside.

One of Greek behaviors in the face of tragedy is keeping our head high and mocking destruction, poverty and death through music. I feel like singing and dancing was a way for those people to cope with the tragedy in a subconscious level. By hearing and dancing to a song about fire in that moment I don't feel that they mock the victims of the fire but they attempt to mock the fire itself and the whole phenomenon of wildfires. Some of them might've been in shock and perhaps they thought "I won't act afraid, I will be brave and stay here". Not a very clever thing to do but in such an emotional moment I don't expect too much rationality.

For sure the right thing to do the when fire approaches is to go somewhere safe. As for volunteering - please correct me if I'm wrong but - I believe it's best done after the fire. I wouldn't recommend going near a raging forest fire without proper training and without a coordinated team to have your back.

Would anything change for those animals and trees if those people weren't dancing? Since I wouldn't recommend for them to approach the raging fire, then nothing can be done for the trees and the animals at that moment anyway - at least by the people in the video. Or course this is a cold and calculated thing to say but I mean that it's all just optics and what the public expects to see. Sometimes shocked people don't look sad and distressed. Their reaction doesn't necessarily mean they don't care.

Even if they really didn't care... When people dance that close to a fire the phrase "they don't care" takes on a different meaning. They are obviously aware on how the wind can make their stage catch fire before they could reach their cars, and on how much death is happening behind them. (If not, I cannot blame them for their low IQ/genetics either) Their desensitisation - it feels to me - comes from constant exposure to tragedy, year after year.

Btw I used to live in a very seismogenic town and after the 10th small earthquake, each time my bed was moving by tremors up to 4 Richter was a relaxing thing - the human brain is weird.

In the case of fires the desensitisation is the symptom of a state that does nothing. For me, them not acknowledging the fire makes me shift the blame to the useless state. I'm thinking "look what they've done to us" and this actually makes me want to do more against wildfires. I don't know how to explain it but their stance feels like a protest to me, even if they don't mean it.

Of course these people were better off to a safe place or somewhere else, preparing to help fire victims in some way. Again, I'm not sure they could or should volunteer immediately due to possible lack of training. One risky person or a small risky team throwing buckets of water will do absolutely nothing. I mention "buckets of water" because that's what's available for the citizens most of the time. (I certainly know I couldn't bring a firefighter hose to my house at that moment) Fires like this need intervention from planes and I'm not sure that a water hose - in case citizens are given one - will do much.

From my point of view, politicians and rich people in general have not gotten moved so far by images of desperate citizens trying to put out a huge fire that is about to consume their house in the next few minutes. They're never moved by pity, only by fear and votes. The only way to make the politicians and the rich care is by throwing some fire on their side of the fence.

Plus, I refuse to perform a specific type of reaction when I fear that my house will burn just so a politician might shed a fake tear while drinking a Martini in their mansion - tbh that's the last thing I'm thinking of in that moment. That's not a jab on what you commented. It just concerns - again - the optics expected by the public.

Whoops I wrote a whole wall of text again...

I'd never take your commentary as picking up a fight, more so when it's clear we have the same goal. My reaction might be the cynical, bitter, disappointed type (one would say...salty 😂) but I will forever support those who push for proactiveness fueled by anger and shame about our shitty state.

4 days ago a fire started in the Greek island of Zakynthos but the locals continued dancing!

I don't understand the outcry on social media tbh. Ok sure these people are stupid for staying and not going to a safer place but the internet was acting like it was their fault as individuals for being desensitised to the sight of approaching fire.

Well what the fuck did you expect when half of Greece burns every fucking summer?? When we know there's nothing we can do once the fire starts because the state and powerful people are behind these fires??? We will see our houses burning anyway and there's nothing we can do, when even the firefighting department doesn't have enough resources to help. Let us at least have some fun in the meantime.

Our people being that desensitised to fires is not the problem. It's the symptom of a problem, get your focus fucking right, people!

[loveisneurotic]

Kaguya-sama Blind Reaction/Analysis: S1E1

Hello everyone, this is my blog which I am currently using to react to and analyze Kaguya-sama: Love Is War much more seriously than I should analyze any romcom.

I have only seen the first episode of the anime, which this post shall explore using far too many words. If I'm feeling particularly motivated, I may read the manga as well.

My analysis will contain spoilers. If you're thinking of watching this show and haven't seen it yet, I recommend you at least go check out the first episode yourself before reading any further. I don't know what the rest of the show is like, but what I've seen so far has been both entertaining and thought-provoking.

I'm going in mostly blind, but not entirely blind. There are a few images of the anime and manga that I have been exposed to, although without the attached context. Due to cultural osmosis and the sheer popularity of this work, perhaps that was almost inevitable.

Figure 1.1.1: Why did this guy write an essay about a single episode of an ongoing romcom?

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

Season 1 Episode 1

I Will Make You Invite Me to a Movie / Kaguya Wants to Be Stopped / Kaguya Wants It

Power dynamics in relationships

Figure 1.1.2: Immediately, the mangaka's tastes become clear.

I heard a saying once that really stuck with me: "The partner who cares the least has all of the power."

In the world of dating, I often sincerely believed this saying. You may yearn for someone's affection, but the other person need not give it to you until they are willing and ready. No matter how much you want it, you can't make someone more interested in you, unless you resort to being roundabout, such as adding some mystery and intrigue to your courtship. But is that excessive?

I once felt a potential lover slipping through my grasp, and before I knew it, I found myself chasing after them. As I was yearning for their attention, I felt as if I'd lost my dignity. It was humiliating. Painful. Was it just that they weren't the right person for me? Or was I not funny enough? Not charismatic enough? Not interesting enough? Too clingy? Too talkative? Should I have been more distant and given them more space? Did I seem too weak? Too eager? How should I have maximized my desirability? Regardless, I had surely lost. Perhaps they wanted the satisfaction and validation of conquering me. Playing me for a fool and asserting their superiority by being so distant. Isn't that right? Or is that just insecurity speaking? At what point is it ideal to cut one's losses and walk away?

If someone desperately wants the object of their affection to desire them, does that make them pathetic? Does it make them a loser? If you show more vulnerability and desire than the other person, does that truly make you the weak one in a relationship?

These questions plague our two protagonists and seem to be a driving force behind the main conflict. Since I have also grappled with how much to reveal my own feelings of desire, I find Kaguya-sama: Love Is War to be a particularly fascinating show.

Desire without action

Figure 1.1.3: Our protagonists are gifted with impressively high academic intelligence paired with impressively low emotional intelligence.

The show wastes no time in introducing us to our two main protagonists. Kaguya was born into a family of high stature (and says "ara ara" frequently enough to power a small country of weebs), whereas Shirogane is a "commoner" (Kaguya's word, not mine) who worked hard to reach the pinnacle of the student body. Like timid schoolchildren, they're crushing on each other, and yet they refuse to admit it due to their pride. Instead, they focus on getting their "opponent" to confess their love first.

What stuck out to me immediately is how they both have different ideas of what their relationship would be like. Shirogane envisions Kaguya as blushing, shy, and conventionally cute, whereas Kaguya (thankfully) envisions herself taking absolute dominance over Shirogane (which plenty of people should see coming as a character trait after the anime's very first scene). The bad news about this is that their two fantasies are at odds. The good news about this is that the mangaka has fantastic taste -- you can learn a lot about a storyteller based on the characterization of a love interest or lead character of the author's preferred gender.

In the event that the two of them become an actual couple, I wonder how on Earth they'll reach a compromise as to how they'll treat each other. Perhaps they will have to figure that out before they can even get that intimate.

I appreciate that we get to see both of their perspectives. It hammers home how everyone has a different truth in regards to what they desire and what they experience, and the show does not hold back when it comes to showing just how different these truths can be -- such as a certain lunch-themed sequence that I will talk about later. This works to great dramatic and comedic effect.

That said, when you spend your time fantasizing about what could happen instead of actually taking action, time is not so friendly to you.

Half a year passes.

Figure 1.1.4: Two geniuses dedicate their pride to wasting their life and energy.

Immediately, I got the impression that whoever wrote this segment of the story knows what they're doing. This is too real. And by "too real", I mean I very much appreciate the realism. How many of us have waited for ages (or for eternity) to confess our feelings to a specific someone?

This is the curse of having a crush and being incapable of acting on it. It's also why I hate having crushes.

Manufacturing affection in others, AKA the extraction of vulnerability

Figure 1.1.5: A plan is devised to weaponize jealousy in the name of affection.

To express your truest feelings means being vulnerable. That implies taking a risk and feeling responsible for any potential consequences of rejection, as well as putting our dignity on the line. It would be so much easier for the object of our affection to make themselves vulnerable instead. So instead of being direct and honest, we act indirect. We drop hints. We act suggestively, but not explicitly. We may even place them in situations where we think they are more likely to confess. If they don't pick up on it, we can pretend we didn't mean anything by it. That way, we don't have to risk our dignity. We can just wait for them to make the move.

It sucks.

Incidentally, it sucks even more when both you and your love interest are thinking that way.

It sucks infinitely more when both you and your love interest are COMMITTED to thinking that way.

Someone has to break the deadlock, whether that's immediately or eventually.

If this show isn't one of those romcoms where the status quo never changes ever (judging by the quality of writing, I have faith that it isn't), then at some point, either Shirogane or Kaguya is going to have to be explicit about how they really feel. And it's going to feel scarier to them than anything else they've ever done.

It's gonna be great.

If we could all grow up and live in environments where it's safe and encouraged for all of us to be honest about how we feel and what we want, surely love would be much less painful for so many people.

Chaos theory

Figure 1.1.6: If your prospective lover won't protect you, then your friend definitely will.

Chika is the ideal wild card and agent of chaos in this arena of love.

From a writing perspective, Chika is immensely useful. The mangaka probably could have gotten by without a third character in the mix, but she serves as a catalyst and an unknown element, able to create unpredictability and subversion of expectations. For a comedy-oriented story, this is invaluable.

Blissfully unaware of the mental turmoil that plagues our two lovesick dorks, she is able to unintentionally invalidate whatever schemes that Kaguya or Shirogane spent so much mental energy on, which adds extra comedy and tension for the audience. She is also an effective vehicle for Kaguya's jealousy and projection, as seen in the lunchbox scene which I have so graciously foreshadowed.

Figure 1.1.7: We have confirmed visual on an unidentified fourth person. Chekhov would love this. From their posture, I wonder if they'll be a gloomy character?

Misunderstandings and assumptions

I've heard that most interpersonal conflicts in life emerge from misunderstandings. In the absence of communication, assumptions are born and give rise to misunderstandings.

You may know where I'm going with this. Let's talk about the lunchbox sequence.

Figure 1.1.8 (not pictured because tumblr wishes to deny me of my image spam): Kaguya is too prideful to admit she thinks that a couple is doing something cute.

Figure 1.1.9: Pride is considered a sin for a reason.

From a writing perspective, I was impressed by the lack of romantic intentions in Shirogane in this whole sequence. Not once did he try to get Kaguya to show vulnerability to him. Instead, Kaguya is the only one spinning the situation in a romantic way, while Shirogane's driving force is the misunderstanding that Kaguya is looking down on him for what he eats. Because of this misunderstanding, Shirogane doubles down and makes his food even better, making the situation even more complicated and more stressful for Kaguya. This was definitely my favorite comedy sequence from the first episode.

I appreciate that the show has demonstrated the ability to create these scenarios where one of the characters doesn't even have love on their mind, but there are still romantic thoughts coming from the other character which drives the drama. It gives me a lot of faith in the variety this show will have to offer, and makes me excited to watch more.

When it comes to comedy rooted in misunderstandings, it is important to have miscommunication or lack of communication. In order to resolve a misunderstanding, you need to talk about it. For a pairing as dysfunctional as Kaguya and Shirogane, expecting healthy communication sounds highly unreasonable, which makes them prime material for a whole world of misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings are rooted in assumptions about what the other person meant when they said something or made a certain gesture or expression. When Kaguya glared at Shirogane and his food, he didn't even think to ask "What's the matter?" He just made an assumption about how she felt. I wonder if trying to understand Kaguya's feelings would be considered a sign of weakness by Shirogane?

A prerequisite to initiating an emotional conversation is the desire to understand or be understood by the other person -- assuming that your assumptions haven't already built a narrative for you. It is far easier to make assumptions than it is to attempt any sort of understanding.

In the end, Shirogane fled, unwilling to confront or attempt to understand the intense and passive-aggressive Kaguya. Kaguya feels that she cannot directly ask to try his lunch, so perhaps this is the closest she can get to initiating such a conversation with him at this time. Despite their mind games where they imagine the reactions of their opponent, they still have a lot of difficulty understanding each other.

I am curious to see if this prospective couple's communication skills and emotional intelligence will improve over the course of the story.

The burden of potential romance

Figure 1.1.10: Even the infallible genius Kaguya succumbs to superficial jealousy. It's "mind over matter" versus "matter over mind". That's how the saying goes, right?

Chika is a free spirit, able to ask Shirogane for whatever she wants without being neurotic. That is the power of not being bounded by a crush. Kaguya, who lacks that degree of freedom, briefly loathes her for experiencing something that Kaguya cannot ask for. It's amazing how much someone's feelings for a friend can change without a single word being spoken between them. All it takes is an action, unintentional or not, combined with the raw strength of insecurity. Just as quickly, the status quo can return back to normal too, with the act of properly making up.

To Chika, asking for food from someone doesn't mean anything at all, whereas with Kaguya, it is an admission of defeat. In that sense, a relationship that will only ever be platonic brings peace of mind, whereas a relationship that can be potentially romantic brings leagues upon leagues of anxiety if the outcome is of great concern.

Love is neurotic.

Is love worth the pain? For some people, it is not. For others, the reward is immense -- but only if you can make sure your relationship with this person doesn't end up being a nightmare for your emotional health.

Love and self-identity

The final scene of the episode surprised me in a good way. It's a brief departure from the comedy, and reveals a more heartfelt side of the show.

Kaguya's servant asks her an insightful question. It is substantially more insightful than I would expect from any romcom: "If you fell in love some day, would you wait for that person to confess their love, like now? Or would you confess your love?" I found myself immediately curious to hear Kaguya's answer, since I knew it would be highly informative about her character.

"If that time comes, I would consider the risk of someone stealing him first and come to the one rational conclusion." Even in the realm of love, Kaguya seems precise and calculating. It's as if she hesitates to give a straight answer, but then she confirms: "Of course I would go."

Figure 1.1.11: "Please understand."

It is not embarrassment or rejection that Kaguya fears; it is the absolute destruction of her identity and sense of self. Kaguya is the daughter of a family that practically runs the country. In her mind, everyone yearns for her and wishes to serve her. Turning that around and reaching out to another person to express her own desire would be a direct contradiction of that. It is probably a similar situation for Shirogane, where the infallible self-image he has built up is being put at risk during his romantic duels against Kaguya.

Kaguya clearly feels trapped. She and Shirogane see each other as threats to be conquered, but in reality, they both share a mutual enemy that is much more imposing and insidious: their own simultaneous disgust at the idea of vulnerability.

Their freedom is dominated by their insecurities, and so, even despite their impressive stature, they are still very human. Their upbringing that has lead them to become so accomplished may be more of a curse than a blessing, due to the resulting pride and self-image they likely feel pressured to uphold.

It is hard to cast aside a lie that you have bought into for your whole life.

If our two protagonists wish to have a chance of establishing a healthy romantic relationship, they have a lot of their own demons to overcome first. If they cannot set aside their pride and reach mutual understanding, they have no hope.

Until then, they will both remain trapped in a hell of their own design, however tragically comedic it may be.

My hopes for this story's future

I can tell that the mangaka, unlike far too many writers all over the world, actually seems to have a solid understanding of romance and the conflict that arises within. I've watched too many anime that place huge focus on the "will they or won't they" crap which never runs any deeper than one or both of the characters being too embarrassed to just say what they're thinking, without any sort of convincing mental blocker. In that case, it's clearly just manufactured drama which is designed to pad out the story and waste your time rather than pose interesting questions and themes. In the case of Kaguya and Shirogane, the two of them have substantial communication issues which are depicted in a comedic yet mature way, which I have found engaging.

I very much hope that the show will more deeply explore the themes and questions surrounding the ideas of vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and superiority within relationships. Kaguya and Shirogane have been set up to be great vehicles for such exploration, and I hope the mangaka can capitalize on that, especially if our protagonists can confront these issues directly.

My impression is that the ending will make or break this story. If the mangaka can pull it off well, I can already believe the payoff will be hugely satisfying.

Of course, in order to get to that point, we'll have to see a certain something. It has to do with the most sacred word amongst romcom enthusiasts: "progress". Indeed, after spending chapters upon chapters watching two characters bumble around amidst the same exact status quo, those little signs of advancements in a relationship are highly rewarding.

Underneath all of their aggression, if we can see Kaguya and Shirogane slowly open up to each other and realize the benefits of vulnerability, I think we could witness something really beautiful and really emotionally cathartic.

I've still only seen one episode, but I believe the mangaka has laid a fantastic groundwork for a series and can do a great job developing upon what I've seen so far. On that note, I will surpass our prideful protagonists by opening my heart to this story and entrusting it with my vulnerability, believing it can deliver satisfying development and resolution. You can do it!

Closing thoughts

I did not expect to write so much about a single episode of an ANIME of all things, but here we are. If only I could conjure this kind of power back when I actually needed it in high school English class!

The first episode alone is already so rich with characterization and themes that I managed to find quite a lot to talk about. Given how much I found myself relating to the characters and some of their situations, it's clear to me how this show became so popular. Not only are the animation, direction, and writing excellent, but also many people can probably relate to love feeling like a battlefield.

I do not want to believe in the idea of winners and losers in relationships. That idea creeps into my head whenever I'm having trouble keeping the interest of a new date, and I find myself wondering where those thoughts even come from. Lately, I have been reflecting on the way I relate to other people. Perhaps I've started experiencing this show at a time in my life when I most needed it, and that's why I felt driven to write such a large analysis.

This show poses some very interesting questions about romance that I do not actually know the answer to at the time of writing. I do not know yet how much the show is actually going to explore these themes. Regardless, I appreciate how this show is helping me reflect, and I am curious to see if and how the mangaka will answer some of the questions brought about by the story's themes.

This is a show that I'll most likely have to pace myself with. There was so much to process in this first episode alone. If I went any faster, I'm not sure if I'd even catch all of the details and character moments. I'm excited to move onto the second episode soon.

A highly subjective footnote about my cultured tastes

I'm glad that Kaguya is a sadistic dom with a gentle and vulnerable side, solely on the basis of that being my favorite personality type in a love interest. It also helps that it makes Kaguya's fantasies that much funnier with Shirogane acting so out of character. I feel like this show was made for me.

What was I writing about again? Oh yeah, writing a gigantic wall of text about an anime romcom. Somehow, I spent an entire day on this essay. Hopefully someone got a kick out of it.

[smileyoongle]

The Only Truth (Mafia! Jeon Jungkook)

Requested by @junglekookbook I'm pretty sure this is one of my best works. I have never concentrated so much on an imagine before. So Let's Get It?!

Summary: You thought your life was perfect with your prince charming by your side. But what do you do when you realize that the person you thought you loved, has too many skeletons in his closet?

You rubbed your hands together to keep them warm, hissing as the cold wind fanned your face. The overcoat on your body wasn't enough to keep you warm. The weather report had predicted snowfall by the night. And even though you knew about it, you didn't take any precautions.

You continued to walk faster, motivating yourself by thinking about how warm your bed must be. It was already dark and there were barely any people on the streets. The streetlamps were flickering, making shivers run down your body. If this was a movie, then you'd probably be hearing footsteps behind you by now.

You could see your house in the distance, sighing in relief as you walked right past a dark alleyway. And that's when your feet stopped.

You could hear someone's groans, as if they were in pain. You turned your head to glance at the dark path, trying to come up with a decision. There were two options. Either you could play hero and check what was going on. Or you could go home and have a nice hot bath followed by a cup of hot chocolate.

As tempting the latter sounded, your morals wouldn't allow you to do that. You were a doctor after all. Taking in a deep breath, you courageously walked into the alley, praying under your breath for your safety. You reached the dead end, your eyes searching for the source of those noises you had heard.

And that's when you saw him.

Leaning against the wall with bruises and cuts littering his face. Your throat felt constricted when you saw the blood seeping through his white shirt underneath his jacket. His eyes were closed and all he could do was groan in pain.

You quickly rushed to kneel beside him, carefully shaking his shoulders to keep him conscious.

"Hey Mr. I need you to keep your eyes open, do you hear me? Stay with me until I get you some help, okay?" You said gently, your heart pounding in your chest. He seemed to be able to hear you for his eyes opened a little.

"Don't need....your help." His voice was a whisper but you heard what he said. In that moment, you wanted to scoff. Even when he was dying, he didn't need your help? Sounds like a bunch of bullshit.

With a shake of your head, you placed his arm across your shoulder, lifting him up with all your strength. He was way heavier than he looked. Thankfully, your house wasn't very far, you just needed him to stay conscious and carry some of his weight for you.

You were panting by the time you reached your house, your hands fumbling with the lock as the stranger leaned onto your small figure. You could feel his shallow breath on your neck while you unlocked the door and pushed it open. And as if on cue, he fell down on the floor, completely unconscious.

"Shit." You cursed and ran inside, lifting him by his shoulders, just enough to drag him to the couch. It was gonna be a long night.

💔💔

Your head hung low as you stared blankly at the floor of the grimy basement where you were being held captive. Dried tears stained your cheeks along with blood from the little cuts across your face. The pain in your thigh had subsided. Or maybe you just didn't care anymore. The scalpel which was dug deep into your thigh was glinting in the little light which came from the small bulb on the ceiling.

"Oh, looks like your dear boyfriend kept you in the dark all this time."

"He is a gangster. A gangster who I thought I killed about four months ago."

"Still willing to die for him, doll?"

Your kidnapper's voice kept replaying in your head. Your heart felt heavy and....broken.

The man you were so in love with, lied to you. He lied to you about who he was. He lied to you about everything.

That night in the alley. He hadn't been robbed. He had been beaten up by a mafia gang.

The nights when he didn't come home, he wasn't working. He was killing people and fixing deals.

The times when he came home with bruises on his face, he didn't walk into a pole. He was out on shootouts.

Your heartbeat fastened on hearing gunshots outside the room, knowing very well that he was here. The door to the basement opened and someone walked in with staggered footsteps. You didn't react when your hair was harshly pulled back and a metal was placed against the side of your head. More footsteps entered the room but you didn't look up, your eyes finding the floor very interesting. A sob threatened to escape your lips but you pursed your lips. You were afraid to look at him. Afraid that you'd forget and fall back into the web of lies that he had spun for you.

"Let her go and I won't kill you."

💔💔

You sat in your cabin, looking through the files of some patients. Your clinic had already closed but you were staying back. Mainly because you didn't want to go home yet. It was Saturday night and everyone was out partying. Too bad you didn't have any friends.

A knock on the door made you look up as you replied with a 'come in'. It was the new receptionist.

"Miss Y/L/N, there's someone here to see you. I told him you weren't seeing any patients now but he said he's your friend."

You frowned and tilted your head. Friend?

You nodded and told her to let him in. She left and a minute later, the door opened again as he stepped in.

Your breath hitched as he walked towards you with a small bouquet in his hands. The last time you saw him, he had disappeared without a word and you never heard from him again. It had been a month since that incident. You would be lying if you said you weren't hurt. You had treated him for three days at your house, only for him to disappear on you. You hadn't even gotten a chance to find out his name. So much for helping a stranger...

"You look a lot different than I last saw you." You stated, watching him as he shifted his weight from one leg to another. There were no more cuts on his face, not even scars. They were all gone. He curtly nodded and looked at you.

"I wanted to thank you for that. I owe you."

His voice was gentle but his expression was blank. At one point, it looked like he had no idea what he was doing. You smiled and glanced at the bouquet of orchids in his hand.

"Those for me?" You asked, nudging your chin towards the flowers in his hand. His eyes shot up to your face before glancing at the bouquet.

"Oh yeah." He handed it to you as you smiled and took in the scent. Orchids were your favourite. What a coincidence that he decided to get these for you. You didn't notice how his eyes were trained on your face, a soft smile spreading on his own as a result.

"And I also needed to apologize for... leaving without saying anything. So, I was wondering if you'd join me for dinner?" You looked at him to find him scratching the back of his neck. You bit your lip and glanced at the files. It's not like this was important anyway. Also, this man was extremely handsome and you knew you'd regret it if you didn't go. One dinner wouldn't hurt.

"I'd like that." You smiled, standing up and packing your things.

"My name's Y/N, by the way. I don't think you remember since you were pretty much out of it." You stated, taking your purse from under the desk as you recalled how he was barely awake when you had kept him at your house.

"I remember....how can I forget?" You failed to hear the last part as you turned off the computer on your desk and got ready to leave.

"And what do I call you?"

"Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook."

💔💔

You flinched a little on hearing another gunshot followed by a heavy thud from behind you. Your kidnapper was dead. You could tell.

You closed your eyes and continued to keep your head down, a low whimper escaping your lips. Your head was spinning and you couldn't breathe anymore.

You felt a hand on your thigh and you sharply inhaled on feeling the scalpel move.

"This'll hurt a little."

You heard his voice and rage filled you. You didn't want him near you. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, indicating that your breathing was becoming very erratic. Suddenly, the scalpel was pulled out followed by pressure being applied to your wound. You could feel the tightness of whatever was being wrapped around your thigh, the pain making it harder for you to stay awake.

You slowly opened your eyes, seeing him taking off the ropes from around you. You leaned back on the chair, feeling your eyes getting heavier.

"No, Y/N. Stay with me, please. Don't you dare close your eyes. Do you hear me?" Jungkook said, cupping your cheeks. You mumbled something as your body fell limp. Jungkook placed his ear next to your mouth to hear what you were trying to say.

"Liar..."

💔💔

You sat beside Jungkook on the sand, watching in content as the waves crashed against the shore. The sun was setting, colouring the sky in beautiful colours. The single orchid in your hand swayed with the wind, your hair getting tangled behind you.

A sudden tap on your shoulder made you turn your head, your lips forming into a smile on seeing a little girl standing in front of you with a shy smile.

"Hi there, darling! How can I help you?" You asked sweetly. Jungkook sat quietly and watched the whole exchange, wondering how you were so nice to everyone.

"I just wanted to tell you that you're really pretty..."

You chuckled and leaned forward, holding her small hands in yours. "Maybe I am. But certainly not as pretty as you." You said, handing the orchid to her. She grinned and mumbled a thank you before gently kissing your cheek and running away.

You laughed and turned back to find Jungkook staring at you with a fond smile.

"What?" You asked, tucking your hair behind your ear. Jungkook lightly shook his head and sat up straighter, focusing all his attention on you.

"You really are pretty..."

You blushed as your heart did a little flip, biting your lip in nervousness on seeing Jungkook lean closer to you.

It had been a couple of weeks since you started going out with Jungkook. He never said anything about dates, avoiding all your questions by saying,

'I like your company.'

But you couldn't deny the fact that you had grown to like him. Though you still didn't know a lot about him, you liked him. Because he made you feel like you were special.

He glanced at your lips, moving closer until your nose brushed against his. He gently placed a hand on your cheek as you closed your eyes, his lips pressing against yours.

It was gentle. As gentle as a feather. His lips were soft and you felt like you were on cloud nine. His hand moved to the back of your neck, pushing you closer against him. Hesitantly, you tangled your fingers in his hair on feeling him deepening the kiss. It was so passionate that you couldn't help but feel light headed.

You both pulled away, gasping for air, your forehead leaning against his.

"What are you doing to me, Y/N Y/L/N?"

💔💔

You opened your eyes, wincing on feeling the throbbing in your head. With a lot of struggle, you placed a hand on your forehead, feeling the smooth surface of a bandaid beneath your fingers. You frowned slightly and let your mind wander to your last memory before you blacked out. Everything came crashing down on you like a brick wall. The lies. The kidnapping. The torture. Jeon Jungkook.

Immediately tears filled your eyes and you sat up, finding it difficult to breath.

Your heart hurt, it felt like someone was trying to rip it out of your chest. The only man who you had come to love, lied to you. He made a fool out of your feelings. He fed you lies upon lies until someone else spilled out his secrets.

Too busy dealing with your emotions, you didn't notice the bedroom door opening.

Jungkook entered the room in which you lay unconscious, sighing in relief on seeing that you were now awake. He wanted to run to you and hide you in his arms. He wanted to kiss you and ask you if you were okay. He wanted to tell you how grateful he was that you were alive.

But he couldn't.

Not after seeing the tears running down your face. Not after seeing the way your eyes widened when you spotted him.

You pushed yourself against the headboard, ignoring the bouts of pain that covered every inch of your body. Jungkook's heart broke on seeing you like that. He knew that you were aware of the truth. He knew that there was probably no chance of you forgiving him. But he had to try. He had to try because it was you. It was always gonna be you.

With cautious steps, he approached you, placing his hands up as if to surrender.

"I'm not here to hurt you, my love."

You furiously shook your head and pulled the thin blanket, clenching the soft material in your hands. Your lips quivered as you tried to say something.

"I-I don't wanna talk to y-you." You stammered, looking at him with all the hatred you could gather. Jungkook wanted to shoot himself on the spot. He knew he shouldn't have hid anything from you.

"Y/N, I had to do it. Please just let me explain." He begged, his eyes displaying all the sorrow that his heart was drowning in. You shook your head again, clearly showing him that he couldn't change your mind.

"You lied to me. You're a liar. This whole relationship was a lie. You never loved me. You never cared. I don't know why you did this but I don't think I wanna know anymore. Just leave me alone."

Jungkook's knees gave out and he fell to the ground, clasping his hands in front of him as if to pray. He was begging you. On his knees.

"That's not true. Just tell me this, would you have loved me back if I told you what I did? Would you have even let me take you out if I told you who I really was?" He asked, trying hard not to cry. But he couldn't hold it in. He was so close to losing the love of his life. He probably already lost you.

"Maybe I would have! Maybe I wouldn't. That gives you no right to lie to me. You played me, Jungkook. You fucking played with my feelings. I fell for a man who doesn't exist. What should I do with this revelation?!" You spat, pointing your finger at him. In that moment, Jungkook couldn't tell if he still had any hope left or not. He wasn't sure what would make you stay. He wasn't sure if that was even an option for you anymore. He knew he did wrong. But that was the only way to make you love a monster like him.

"I didn't play you, Y/N. I hid the truth from you. Please, I just need one chance to prove how much I care. I'll leave all this. We can go somewhere far away from here and start afresh. Just, please, don't leave me." Jungkook cried, hanging his head low in shame.

You were surprised to see him crying. He had never ever cried in front of you. And the sight broke you. You wanted to forgive him. You really did. Because you loved him a lot. He was a big part of your life now and you didn't want to let go.

"Tell me one thing that was true. Give me one good reason to stay." You said, your voice holding a certain level of coldness to it. You were slipping away from him and Jungkook could feel it.

He fell silent for a minute, processing his next words very carefully. He couldn't lose you. Not now. Not ever.

You smiled bitterly, nodding to yourself. This was it then. Everything was-

"I love you. And I always meant it."

Jungkook looked at you with hopeful eyes, watching your gaze soften. You melted. You knew you did. You were a goner for him. You were so in love with him that you would have hated yourself for not forgiving him. What had he done to you?

"I just need you to be happy. Whether it's with me or away from me. Although I'd like it if it's with me..."

You sniffled, looking at the floor. Wiping away a tear that trailed down your cheek, you cleared your throat and locked eyes with him.

"If something ever happens to-"

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."

You smiled softly, shaking your head at how determined he sounded.

"I was gonna say if something ever happened to you, I'm not sure I'll be okay with losing you like that."

Jungkook's breath hitched, his feet pushing him to stand up. He took one long step towards you, caressing your cheek with his rough fingers before kissing you. Even after doing this for three months, you hadn't gotten used to it. His kisses always felt new and they took your breath away.

"You're my home. I'll always come back to you."

You smiled against his lips, his words making you feel warm and fuzzy.

It was true. You were his home and he was yours. No matter how many times you doubted your love, the feeling of being home would always overcome it. Cause that's what you do. You always come back home.

❤️❤️

Let me know your thoughts! Hasta la vista, babies!

-XX

[neoculturetechxgot7]

Gardenia on the crown - J.J.H

4; dreams of sunshine eyes

pairing: Jung Jaehyun × Reader

genre: angst and the shy touches of fluff

length: around 2,5k words

warnings: mild swearing

// masterlist //

``

Starry flames flicker on the hundreds of candles saturating the ballroom with golden hues, reflecting on expensive pearls and tangling through lace trim and floral paterns. Nobility swirls around the soft notes of violin and piano, men in tailored suits kindly asking for the pale hand of shy princesses, inviting them to a dance that will stain the night with their scent.

You’re standing in middle of it all, fitted flawlessly in the embrace of a young prince's arms and slowly losing your sanity to the sight of his stunning features, iridescent shadows from the crystal chandeliers casting a sparkling galaxy on his skin. His eyes, those that captured your thoughts from the very moment their Egyptian caramel shade dipped into your soul, still have you mesmerized and utterly lost in their enigmatic depths.

He spins you around so gently, cremé gown blooming around your ankles in the heated rhythm and a moment later, you feel his fingertips sear a temptingly slow path around your waist when you step forward.

"You haven't told me your name yet..." A breathless whisper falls from your lips, accompanied by the over-accelerated pound of your heart. The charming stranger who managed to gather all of your attention to the excellence of his dance and the alluring electricity beaming from his entire presence is still hiding behind anonymity. The ache to discover something as simple as his name is swallowing you alive.

"My name is Jung Jaehyun, my lady...”

You wake up suffocated in the cradle of cloud coloured sheets, nightgown clinging low on your decolté and a rushed pulse racing through your veins. Midday sun refracts from the window, brushing peachy shimmer on your skin and a sweet heat around the endless void of the room.

Yet, somehow, your body feels absolutely numb. That night... Your brain is playing the filthiest game by reminding you of it.

Your glance swivels around the intricately decorated wooden furniture in protest to your mind trying to shove more images of that dying dream before your eyes. Sweaty fingers reach up to rub them a little too harsh, leaving you with a shadowed vision of a vortex of colours and a low sigh dips past your lips.

If you only knew that magical night would be your very first meeting with the devil personified, you would've locked yourself in the cozy escape of the underground library, or your room or maybe the kitchens...Hell, even the moldy, freezing dungeons your father caged criminals in would seem like a better option than being in that ballroom, at that time, with him...

Two sharp knocks on the door slice through your self-pity thoughts just as you're about to hop off of the comforting warmth of the bed, naked feet hitting hardwood floor.

"Come in!“ You shout, hands instinctively tugging on the white silk of your tiny sleeping dress to conceal the exposed expanse of your chest.

But the relieving sight of your maid has your limbs going slack as she walks in, a smile on her face that makes some type of jubilation sizzle under your skin.

"My Lady, you're finally awake!" The girl chirps with the lightness of her kind heart and then quickly trods towards your still seated form. "Will you be attending the morning assembly in the dinner hall or would you prefer breakfast in bed?"

At her mention of any kind of...well...social interaction with the arrogant existence of the royals, your body goes limp and fluffy pillows hug your backside as you fall back. The sole idea of seeing Jaehyun again exhausts you. It's barely been a day since you first arrived and his face is plastered everywhere. Even your damn dreams...

The maid presses her lips in an empathetic line before sparing you the most understanding of all glances. Oh, she knows better than anyone how you'd hate to see that man after having spent the entirety of last night listening to a nice, long monologue of unspeakable and profane adjectives to describe your soon-to-be husband.

Sometimes you wonder what level of patience one must hold to be able to withstand your -borderlone hysterical- hate speeches.

"I'll inform his wonderful grace of your absence, my Lady." With that sarcasm dipped remark, the girl pivots on her heels and strides towards the door, blush skirt flowing behind her. "And bring you some breakfast."

"Thank you."

♤

You finish the very rich meal within minutes -the cooks around this place are priceless, a blessing for your tastebuds- and after a little bit of sinking in a puddle of self loath and cursing your failure of a fate, you decide to distract your mind by simply getting lost in the magic of a book. Literature is a hidden paradise for you, poetry, a little heaven.

Back home, you'd always have a book resting by the wooden extend of your nightstand, every night fading between yellowed pages and inked words that took you on a trip to fantasia. Maybe reading something can help now too...right?

No.

Because you're running a dainty finger over the red and black book spines lining every shelf of the grand bookcase only to skim the leather binding of old catalogues and dictionaries. Your eyes frantically scan each and every title in search of the slightest trace of good, classic literature, those pieces that leave you gasping after the very last sentence, but to no avail. Annoyed at the obvious lack of quality writings, you pull one of the many useless books out, trying to check if the one behind it, on the inner lining, is any different.

An hour later there's a sea of stacked books expanding on the floor of your bedroom, over the oak bureau by the window and some even sprawled across your unmade bed, yet nothing seems close to your taste. You found a couple of fairytales, the ones mothers escort their kids with to the sweetness of sleep. Even dug out a little notebook full of scraped poetry, written in midnight ink and infinite pages of dreamy calligraphy. But it didn't really pick at your interest either, so it now lays untouched on your nightstand, keeping company to ruby necklaces and a porcelain vase filled with roses.

Your knees bend over the plush mattress as you take a good seat in the boredom that has already started to define this day. With nothing else to do but stay in your room and stare at the elegant carvings on the walls, your pinky is twitching; sign of the bottled up energy that's currently restricted due to your absolute refusal of meeting eyes with the royals.

If only you weren't this stubborn and lowered that ego, maybe today wouldn't completely go to waste...

Then, something tickles at the back of your head; an idea?

A library. They must have one here, right?

Maybe visiting the palace library will be a convenient option. You can still spent time alone, buried in the wrinkled edges of lettered paper, while also keeping that well needed distance from Jaehyun and his awful family.

But then again, you don't even know how to get there and the so unpleasant possibility of bumping into too familiar faces has your skin coated in a drizzle of coldness.

Even so, your feet subconsciously plant onto polished floor and lead you to the door, expensive golden silk with embroidered morning stars blossoming around your ankles. It takes you no time to step delicately into those pointed heels that clank an air of intimidation with every step, as you -for the umpteenth time- curse every forsaken force in this damned universe for binding you with such a fate.

Having to sneak out of your own royal chamber like a common fugitive simply to enjoy the smallest comfort of reading a book. Pathetic, to say the least.

♤

You find yourself striding down the seemingly endless stretch of a hallway, peach tinted light bouncing of off smooth stone that arches into a high ceiling. Large, curved openings formed the one side and thick marble columns separate them.

It took a lot of wandering around wide halls and visiting two of the many towers of this palace for you to reach this point, the faintest wave of spring heat kissing your neck and cheeks as a reward. Surprisingly enough, you were met with no person you knew, only kindy greeted by maids dressed in creamy beige, a humble smile on their faces. Once, you actually happened to spot -what you thought would be- one of the ladies of the court and her small escort following shortly behind, heavy gowns of cotton and purple satin flowing with her every delicate step. She bore an almost blank expression, lips pressed together in a manner that made you wonder if she disliked this place as much as you did.

Taking a peak outside the enormous windows, you realise you're walking the perimeter of a circular yard, the expanse of its area covered in emerald, neatly cut lawn. A whole lot of people are gathered, small kids playing around with leather balls, servants scurrying to get some random task done and a big group of men standing on the very middle, some carrying weapons of all sorts.

With feet inching closer to the stone edge, your stare rakes their sun bathed faces and thankfully you recognize none. They are all of noble ascent, from what you can tell at that distance, golden threaded crests decorating the corners of their uniforms.

While your eyes fight to grab onto the stitched details, they happen to -so tragically- fall straight onto another pair of breathtaking brown orbs and within a fracture of a heartbeat you're pulling back and hiding behind the column.

Fuck.

Momentarily, the edges of your vision blacken as you suck in hungry inhales, a nice bunch of profanities roaring in your head to mix with the thumping in your ears.

You just can't avoid him, can you?

Shaking your head to get rid of the slight panic possessing it, you slowly slide to the side again, solely to catch another glimpse of Jaehyun. He’s surrounded by a small crowd of men, holding a steady grip on a steel forged sword that's so well polished it seems almost like platinum.

What a sight.

His glove clad fingers tighten as he ducks to an attack stance, raising the light reflective metal in the air as if it's the lightest feather. You notice the absolute perfection in his technique, balanced from the very handle all the way to the sharp tip and can't help but admire how, the next second, it comes down to slice morning breeze and barely scratch Jaehyun's opponent. He's incredibly skilled, every move laced with such precision, and you notice the subtle flames his eyes emit when seizing each chance.

The other is quick to deflect any incoming hits, but still overwhelmed by their lighting speed and strength that eventually goes in for an attack himself. He bringing his own blade up and aims for the prince's chest, leaving you watching with complete devotion to the scene, as he takes a hasty step forward.

Something inside your chest clenches in such an unexplainable manner and time itself dramatically unfolds, each second slower than the previous.

But then, Jaehyun ends the match with a swift and simple dodge to the side, sword simultaneously flying to crash against the side of his opponent's armor with a loud, echoing bang.

He should’ve watched the ribs. Always watch the ribs, you think while gazing the loser gasp in slight pain.

The nobles all around the young prince cheer -much like you do on the inside without realising-, yelling out praises along with a well-deserved applause as he drops his heavy weapon, that sunshine blessed smile making another appearance. His cheekbones literally shimmer with the milky glow of victory, all of that aristocracy putting even the highest of angels to shame. He stands proud and tall, fingers carelessly ruffling auburn strands of auburn hair, their tips dripping sweat but still giving him the look of effortless beauty.

You're about to retreat back to the shadows and run away before your body gets completely enchanted by the spell of his irresistible attractiveness...but that ice in the pit of his gaze cuts straight through your unprotected soul once his head turns.

You're suddenly frozen in place, prematurely surrendered to the way his eyebrows furrow and your expectation is yet another cocky grin and probably another stupid comment meant to irritate you the moment you face him. If it weren't for the starstruck expression plastered on your face, mouth slightly agape, maybe it wouldn't have been this bad but no, that's not the case today.

It's pretty damn obvious you've been watching, pretty damn obvious you've been lurking like a creep and gawking over the impressive ability of fighting he has conquered.

And he's well aware of that fact because those pearly, white teeth get covered by a way too smug and way too annoying smirk, it's curvy edge cutting through your dignity harder than any knife ever could. You note the way his chest heaves from the lightness of a chuckle.

Oh the embarrassment, oh the pain of your intimidating facade being all wrecked down in a split second.

If only never seeing him again was an option...lf only you could stay away from his stupid beauty and bluntly cold demeanor...

"Greetings, my Lady." A honeyed voice suddenly disrupts your desperation, causing your reflexes to stick your back falt against the smooth stone in horror.

Yet when your gaze snaps to the source of those words, you find a curious and somewhat charming a pair of sunshine filled eyes trained on your form. A toothy grin, white and beaming with luxury, is spread across the young man's face, a perfect contrast to his autumn skin.

Taking in a short breath of relief, your royal instincts kick in and you bow respectively at the gentleman, while he moves forward, hands folded behind his back in a kind manner. "Good morning my Lord."

"I'm afraid I do not recognise your face, darling. Are you new around here, perhaps?" He asks and it seems as if heaven lost one of its angels; his whole being radiating a unique kind of divinity as he stands so confidently.

"Oh yes." Your knees bend once more as you quickly introduce yourself, trying to sound as formal as possible, getting over the previous scare. "My name is (Y/N) of the (Y/L/N) dynasty and I'm present here as the rightful betrothed of prince Jaehyun."

His eyelids momentarily shot open after hearing your title, almost in shock, and that smile flashes impossibly brighter before he bends in respect. You feel warm fingers snake behind your own and with an airy pull he places a fragile peck on the back of your palm, as soft as freshly picked petals, to make you shudder.

"I'm so delighted to finally meet your grace. I am prince Heachan, cousin of your beloved."

You internally cringe at that last comment...As if Jaehyun and his wholesome stupidity could ever be loved...

"Nice to meet you too, prince Heachan." Your reply comes with a slight tilt of your head, pleasantly surprised at how well behaved and gentle he looks and acts, despite being a member of that horrible family.

Heachan takes a short look around, as if searching for something, and then aims his friendly glare back at you, this time baring a questioning expression. "And you're here without your escort?"

Your shoulders quickly stiffen, realising you have to explain yourself for carelessly wandering around the palace without a single maid accompanying you, something highly unusual for someone of your importance.

He notices that and chuckles and your heart softens at the way the apples of his cheeks shine with such a dull pink.

"Well, I'm looking for the library and..." Your eyes trail a regretful path down the hem of your dress, feeling a little embarrassed at the words you're about to speak. "I think i got lost..."

The boy laughs again, this time a little louder and more genuinely, one hand propping on his waist, sinking into the bejeweled red velvet of his shirt while the other makes an airy gesture. "This definitely isn't the library, or anywhere close to it, dear."

He extends an inviting palm, eyes glimmering with traces of a blazing summer and the tint of pure gold as he continues. "But I can take you there, if you please."

//

previous || next

[derireo]

reserved | (6) | z.yixing

word count: 2445

genre: violence + humor + angst; mafia/triad au + badboy!lay

chapter summary: lei fan has come back and is pleasantly surprised to be greeted by xu tai and zhang he. as they head back to the office, something unexpected happens and lights everyone’s nerves on fire.

chapters: 5 / 6 / 7

Chapter Six: Arrival

"Isn't this a bit much?" Lei Fan complained. She wished to say that the situation she was in was cliche, but she knew it was just protocol for these men. The wind was beating against her body once she stepped out of the airport and it made her hair whip around in different directions. She noticed the row of men on either side of the entrance leading towards a definitely inconspicuous car waiting for her.

She groaned in embarrassment as she walked down towards the car with every man in each row giving her a 90 degree bow. It would have been much more embarrassing had they picked her up at the very front of the airport, but she was escorted to an empty part of the hangar. She didn't expect to be welcomed with so many of Xu Tai's men, rather she would have liked it if it was only Xu Tai and Zhang He welcoming her home.

By the time she reached the car door, Lei Fan quickly turned around to look for Mo Shan and Ma Chou who were still at the end of the row. They bowed to her respectfully and then waved, indicating that she would be okay entering the car alone.

She pouted to herself, reluctant on entering the car, only to be met with a grinning Xu Tai in the back seat.

Lei Fan startled when he popped a small confetti popper and whooped as she buckled herself in, the floating pieces of paper making a mess of their hair and the car. To make it worse, Xu Tai released two more confetti poppers in the car, startling Lei Fan twice more as she was just starting to calm herself. "Our baby is back!" he celebrated, throwing confetti at the chauffeur.

The chauffeur stayed quiet for a moment, rummaging his hand through a compartment beside his seat before turning around to throw a cold water bottle at Xu Tai's face, grumbling in annoyance. "You're going to have to clean the car later, idiot."

At the sound of the driver's voice, Lei Fan perked up in excitement; not being able to recognize the man's identity earlier due to darkness in the vehicle and the man wearing sunglasses. "Zhang He!" she exclaimed happily, moving out of her seat a little to move forward, her hands landing on the man's shoulders from over his seat. "I totally didn't recognize you," she blabbered, "Why didn't you call or text me when I was overseas?" she pouted.

Xu Tai guffawed at this; crossing his arms over his chest in protest, "I called and texted you when you were overseas!" he mentioned.

Lei Fan frowned at the fact, "But you weren't Zhang He," she drawled, turning her head back to look at Zhang He through the rearview mirror. Her eyes practically glistening in happiness when he removed his sunglasses to look back at her with a brief smile, his hand moving around to grab hold of the gearshift and taking the vehicle off park.

"Sorry, Xiao Lei. Been busy." his voice was gentle, and he pointed a glance towards the woman that told her to sit back down in her seat. He didn't say much after that which made Lei Fan curious, so she looked towards Xu Tai for answers, her lips forming a pout. The man who was being stared down sighed to himself, slouching in his seat. "He's been taking care of my meetings and other duties."

"Isn't that a bit much for a bodyguard to do?" Lei Fan inquired, the frown apparent on her face. She would have understood if Zhang He was busy with work within his expertise, but it doesn't make sense for him to attend Xu Tai's meetings for him. Zhang He is Xu Tai's bodyguard, but he shouldn't be a stand-in for such an important character in the city.

"Well, not really," Xu Tai grumbled, "Zhang He isn't --"

Xu Tai paused when he saw the warning gaze in Zhang He's eyes from the rear view mirror then noticed how he took a hand off the wheel to point at a hidden microphone placed near the air vent at the front.

The man swallowed awkwardly as he remembered that all vehicles under the use of The Fallen [1] had microphones for security, as well as to see if there were any rats in the circle. Xu Tai rubbed the back of his neck; scolding himself. Not everyone who is under Zhang He and Xu Tai know that their roles are switched, and only Xu Tai, Mo Shan, and Ma Chou know Zhang He's true name as of now.

The only reason why Xu Tai can't say anything is because there are other members who listen in on the conversations; not Zhang He nor Xu Tai unless they go there themselves.

Lei Fan's frown deepened when Xu Tai stopped speaking and patiently waited for him to continue -- if that was even going to happen.

Snapping himself out of it, Xu Tai looked at Lei Fan with a sheepish smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he slapped the back of his neck a few times, Zhang He sighing quietly to himself in relief. It wasn't the perfect time to throw a bomb like that at Lei Fan, and Zhang He was still trying to figure out when that chance would come.

"I'll tell you later," the man driving said vaguely, causing Lei Fan to nod, albeit hesitantly.

"So, how was it overseas? Make any friends?" Zhang He prodded, causing Xu Tai to perk up at the questions. He had hoped Mo Shan and Ma Chou didn't make it hard for her to socialize with others. They can be pretty intimidating and cause misunderstandings if they're not careful enough. Lei Fan smiled though, and happily nodded to the questions, "It was great overseas! Definitely easier studying there rather than here." she gloated happily, her smile brightening up the mood in the room.

"And I made maybe one or two friends? Mo Shan and Ma Chou were kind of protective of me," she said, causing Zhang He to press his lips into a thin line, "But it's fine! I wasn't planning on making friends in the first place, but the people I met were persistent." she laughed quietly, shrugging her shoulders.

"I'm kind of glad they were." she kicked her legs cutely, Xu Tai gazing at the woman beside him with a sort of motherly fondness in his eyes.

The car eventually became cloaked with a comfortable silence as the two men had nothing else to say, Lei Fan quietly fiddling with her fingers. She wished she had at least brought her bag with her into the car, but Mo Shan and Ma Chou insisted on bringing her luggage back to Xu Tai's place with them so that she could travel back comfortably.

A gentle melody began to swirl out from the radio that Zhang He turned on, causing Lei Fan to sigh and visibly relax into her seat. It was a long plane ride back home and she was too busy watching movies on her mini screen that she didn't get to sleep, so she took the chance to take a nap now.

The low rumble of the bass vibrated along the leather of the seats, lulling the woman to sleep as the humming of Xu Tai's voice flowed into her ears.

The overseas trip was meant to help Lei Fan discover herself as well as keep her safe from any threats that would have followed if the people whom attacked her found out that she was still alive. At first, it was Lei Fan's idea to leave, since she didn't get to go to post-secondary right after high school, and again, at first, Xu Tai was quite opposed to the idea of her leaving the country. He felt uneasy to have her go by herself.

Zhang He supported her though, and quietly told Xu Tai that it was a good idea; it would help her avoid that Xiahouji and Guo Dian and hopefully have them forget her existence. There was going to be a lot of problems if any of the men Xiahouji hired found her strolling the streets right after her presumable death.

Xu Tai relented, but persisted on having his two bodyguards go along with her to help her get by. He worried that if anyone outside of the circle knew she was affiliated with him or Zhang He, they'd definitely spread the news to other groups -- even groups outside of China. It was crucial that no one knew about her, and even gave her an alias she could use to cover her true identity.

Thankfully, Lei Fan had yielded when it came to changing her name overseas to keep from anyone connecting her to someone else from The Fallen or Heaven on Earth.

Xu Tai was abruptly interrupted from his thoughts as the car violently screeched. Zhang He had stepped on the brake as hard and as fast as he could, the gravity making everyone in the vehicle to fall forward. Lei Fan was roused from her nap and was surprised to have her head bump into the head rest of Zhang He's seat.

"Sorry," the man grumbled, his forehead wrinkling in worry for his passengers in the back. A few men were running across the street without looking, but they were still quite far so Zhang He continued to drive until one more man popped out from the alleyway ahead. The figure surprised Zhang He and he stopped the car as fast as his reflexes could make him, the man who ran out on the street falling to the ground.

Before Zhang He could bark out any sort of profanity that came to his head first, the man quickly jumped up from the ground and put his hands on the hood of the car, a grateful smile on his face but a crazed look in his eyes.

"Sorry about --" the unknown man was going to apologize until someone inside of the car caught his attention.

Zhang He noticed how the man's eyes widened, and how his gaze was fixated on something. Before Xu Tai or Zhang He could act, Lei Fan had already seen the man's mouth forming the shape of her name, causing her to properly look at the man's visage; she visibly paled when she recognized who it was. Thankfully, before the man could do or say anything else, Zhang He pressed the heel of his hand into the car horn while Xu Tai forced Lei Fan into his chest, cradling the back of her head as Zhang He swerved around the stranger as fast as he could, speeding down the street when he jumped out of the way.

"Shit!" Zhang He groaned helplessly, his hand punching the steering wheel while Xu Tai finally let Lei Fan breathe.

"Guo Dian..." Lei Fan mumbled, seemingly in a daze. She hadn't expected to run into him right after stepping back into China. She didn't even think he would still be around this area after what happened to her a couple of years ago, but seeing his face again definitely brought up emotions she would've liked to stay deep down inside for a while longer.

She held her head in her hands, her mind racing.

Nimble fingers wrapped themselves around her wrist to gently rouse her from her mumbling, tugging her into the comforting warmth of Xu Tai's solid chest. His lips pursed to hush her rambling, his hand again finding the back of her head to cradle her into his body, his cheek pressed against her hair while Zhang He changed the route they were using to head back to the main office.

"Stop thinking about him," Xu Tai murmured, rocking the woman in his arms back and forth to calm her shaking body. The car was tense after the unforeseen event with Xu Tai holding an incoherent Lei Fan and Zhang He's body perspiring out of anxiousness.

Guo Dian wasn't supposed to show up this early into Lei Fan's return, and Zhang He would've preferred it if he never showed up at all, but it was inevitable. The two men knew it was inevitable as recent reports have shown that Guo Dian's gang has been causing a ruckus in several areas near the outside of their city. It was only a matter of time until they would infiltrate and spread themselves out amongst the city, but Zhang He had estimated that they wouldn't do so until a few weeks or months later.

Xu Tai grimaced to himself as he felt a warm liquid flooding down his neck and pooling into his collarbone, and his heart nearly broke into pieces when he heard the helpless whimper of his dear friend's voice muffled against his skin, "Why, Guo Dian..." she cried, "Why did you look at me like that?"

The men could do nothing but listen to the cries of a young girl who was betrayed by her boyfriend and best friend, only bringing herself more pain as she reminded herself of that night where she was left to die in that grimy alleyway.

"Hush now, sweetheart," Xu Tai whispered, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose as he printed a light kiss to the side of her head. Zhang He impatiently tapping his fingers against the wheel as he waited for the gates of the main office building to open, the engine roaring and the exhaust pipes spewing condensation as he drove down to the garage.

"I'll take care of this." Zhang He spoke harshly under his breath as he parked the car, not waiting for the two passengers in the back to leave while he slammed the front door. His stride was heavy, but his footsteps were silent in the gloomy garage, and he locked the doors to the vehicle once he heard the soft padding of Xu Tai's shoes against the concrete and the thump of the backdoor.

Taking a quick glance back, Zhang He saw Lei Fan being cradled like a child in the other man's arms. He pointed a finger at his friend, his gaze telling him to take care of the her until he's gotten things under control and has intel on the current situation with the infiltration.

The boss took the stairs to head up while Xu Tai used the elevator to head to the top floor.

"Great way to start the fucking day." Zhang He laughed humorlessly.

__

[1] The Fallen: The gang Zhang He and Xu Tai is in charge of.

[bitcofun]

Buy low then offer high is among one of the most fundamental elements of financial investment guidance in the history of monetary markets. Bitcoin is now 10 months into its present bearishness cycle, and lots of financiers and business that didn't "offer high" are most likely regretting it. Miners differ from all other market individuals, nevertheless, due to the fact that they are in impact constantly purchasing (spending for electrical energy to make more bitcoin) and, depending upon their business technique, constantly offering, too (offering bitcoin to spend for capital spending and running expenses). So how are miners faring in the present bearish market? This short article has a look at some miners' monetary choices over the previous number of years-- throughout both the most recent bullish and bearish durations for bitcoin-- and examines where some enhancements might be made on how the typical mining business chooses to hold, offer or purchase its bitcoin. Cliff Notes On Bear Market Mining Here's a fast rundown of the existing state of mining economics-- things aren't fantastic. Hash rate is down 69% up until now in 2022, and with it goes maker success Old hardware like Antminer S9s, for instance, are so unprofitable now that the quantity of overall network hash rate they contribute has actually dropped from 30% to less than 5% this year, according to Coin Metrics Difficulty continues striking brand-new record levels as more miners include more hash rate, and the current down change was the very first reduction in months. Some miners are likewise resting on remarkably big quantities of financial obligation, according to information put together by Jaran Mellerud, a mining expert at Arcane Research. Some miners are even offering the purchase agreements for yet-undelivered hardware while other miners, like CleanSpark, are purchasing them at a discount rate. And the previous 2 months have actually seen 2 business apply for insolvency: Celsius Mining and Compute North Managing A Bitcoin Mining Treasury One of the most essential factors to consider dealing with every miner is whether to hold or offer their bitcoin. Other functional concerns continue this naturally prior to the miner begins making coins for their work. What to do with block benefits is the focal point of any mining technique. Some miners hoard as lots of as they can while awaiting the cost to increase. These miners typically secure loans to fund their functional costs. Or they end up being loan providers themselves and make yield on the coins they mine. Other miners offer every coin they make and wish to just run successfully with no direct exposure to bitcoin's benefit or drawback. Many miners are someplace in between these 2 extremes-- holding what they can pay for to and offering what they require to. All of these choices are made based upon a miner's treasury management technique, and each group has a various method. Thankfully for readers, public mining business relay these choices to financiers and the public. In the booming market, miners weren't just developing brand-new centers, hoarding bitcoin and revealing record purchases of hardware. A few of them even headed out and purchased bitcoin at market value to contribute to their treasuries. Marathon purchased 4,812 BTC in January2021 Argo Blockchain likewise purchased172.5 BTC in the very same month. To state miners were bullish would be an understatement. Bitcoin is now trading approximately 30% lower than its most affordable rate point in January2021 These miners didn't rather "purchase the top," however it was reasonably close. In the bearish market, miners are offering a great deal of their bitcoin-- in many cases even more than they're mining, signifying their severe response to the bearish conditions by even liquidating their reserves. It's essential to keep in mind that the overall amount of bitcoin these business are offering is well into the thousands, however it's a really percentage compared to the everyday trading volume of a lot of liquid bitcoin markets.

From Riot to Cathedra, big and little bitcoin mining business alike were selling big quantities of their bitcoin holdings. Bulls Of Last Resort Instead of offering bitcoin at $20,000, would not a miner choose to offer it at $69,000-- the all-time high? In theory, this makes best sense. In practice, carrying out that choice is more challenging. For something, miners are not the most advanced market individuals. For another, treasury management techniques are still really easy (hold, offer or provide) and frequently insufficient. Lots of miners have methods to hedge versus bitcoin's rate, however nearly none of them can hedge versus bitcoin's hash cost, which would be a much more important monetary item. It's likewise crucial to keep in mind that miners are expected to be uber bullish even when others aren't. Miners remain in lots of methods Bitcoin's bulls of last hope. House miners particularly show this by continuing to mine in spite of terrible market conditions. Despite the fact that miners would have a more powerful balance sheet by offering more bitcoin at a greater cost than they did months earlier, for much better or even worse their function is rather to ride the cost anywhere it goes. What Does The Next Mining Cycle Hold? In years to come, bitcoin mining business will definitely be much better about treasury management. Numerous business will discover their lessons from the previous 2 years and concentrate on much better revenue maximization techniques. A few of this may consist of hoarding less coins. Gold miners are not understood for hoarding generous quantities of the valuable metal on their balance sheets. It's tough to envision bitcoin mining business acting in a different way in the future. Bitcoin miners have a practically legendary status in the market. Bullish miners who hoard their coins are an emotionally comforting thing for lots of market individuals. Even little reports of "miners are bearish" or "miners are offering" send out waves of worry throughout social networks. Even if miners do offer coins at a greater rate, nevertheless, everybody would choose to have well-capitalized miners at the bottom of the bearishness than undersea, over-leveraged business having a hard time to survive. This is a visitor post by Zack Voell. Viewpoints revealed are completely their own and do not always show those of BTC Inc or Bitcoin Magazine. Read More