#the veins on his arms JFC

[rust-in-piss]

i don't know why I'm so fixated on Dave's hands and arms but i am.

he just has REALLY pretty hands.

[anna-hawk]

His fingers (inside me)

His hands (around my neck)

His forearms (around my waist)

[chaotic-mystery]

MADS HELP! It’s already halloween night here and I am at a restaurant with my friends and there’s a HOT DILF ALL MUSCLES and he’s wearing a SCREAM mask and he has all the veins popped out on his arms and his dick is OBVIOUSLY big cause he passed by where I am seated plenty times and he keeps staring over here jfc

The mOST important question I have for you….is he wearing a ring?? 👀

[the1975attheirverybest]

That's hist last one 🥲

The caption always sends me 😭 lmaooooo.

He’s so hot why lie. Look at him. Look at the vein in his arm. Look at Gabriette’s glasses and bracelet. Jfc I’m in love.

[mygoodbuys]

I did the thing they say to do. I went to the ER.

You know what I’m talking about. I actually went. The therapist told me to. The Doctor told me to. My mom also had to get her “JUST GO” in as well.

Hello, having thoughts

Okay we will admit you and take all your belongings

I’m not sure….

Question question question

Vague answers from me. Because I know not to say anything definite.

Remove all clothes, only undies. Put on robe and grippy socks while being watched.

Pee in cup as well

I have severe anxiety and am scared of lots of things

They start to do ALL the things I’m scared of

Can u plz stop fishing for a vein and try again later.

Ok. Let’s immediately try other arm

No, I….

Fishing, poking, nauseating feeling jfc is it in yet?! (Not my actual words)

Having an iv port thing hurts, it’s inconvenient and modern medicine is an absolute fucking joke

I tell my bestie to go for a walk because he hates needles. It takes him a while to get back. No biggie. But I do start a tiny anxiety attack. The port is fucking ridiculous. I get out of bed, OH WAIT! LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY BED!

I was in the hallways right between the supply closet and a huge toxic waste receptacle. And to top it off there were giant doors right behind my HEAD! Porters came in and out frequently with all sorts of giant rolling bins full of… one can only imagine.

So back to getting out of bed, an alarm goes off. I don’t know that’s because of me. I needed to pee and I was severely anxious. I think I asked for something to calm down.

They used the port for 1mg of a relaxer of sorts. Starts with an A ends in a van.

Shiiiit wooorked! I was so relaxed, calm despite the raging circus of an ER.

No it did not. It barely scratched the surface of my anxiety. They said twice that I might get sleepy. All it did was replace the anxiety with annoyance.

Why are these people so shitty at their job? Why is that one male nurse obsessed with his package? Why the FUCK am I in a hallway?

Here’s the deal: you can go home now or OR “you can go to the hospital way up north or way down south and they gonna lock you up and drug you good”

As if I had to consider the options.

I’m home now after 5 hours. Fuck mental health care in this country!

?

[cinnamonsikwate]

just rewatched space sweepers (2021) on netflix and realized something which i don't think is ever actually addressed in text & am not sure if it was supposed to be obvious (bc it didn't even occur to me until now) but - spoilers ahead! -

are james sullivan's occasional body horror episodes a result of a nanobot treatment gone wrong/gone right? like it may be what's keeping him alive well beyond typical human life expectancy, but it's also putting him through excruciating pain. bc we see the veins on his face receding as the hydrogen bomb goes off, and we know that the heat output from an h-bomb explosion is the only thing that can kill nanobots (except the langrangian ones apparently), so.....?? is the reason why sullivan showed up out of nowhere at the last minute bc he was already supposed to be there, trying to get away from the bomb as well?

anyway. the film's been out over a year but i don't remember seeing anything about this particular aspect before. would be pretty interesting if it's actually canon!

also. i hate sullivan's backstory and the bizarre anti-semitic implications; it puts a v significant dampener on an otherwise good film (aside from tiger park's dreads jfc). my proposal for an alternate backstory (developed with my sib) goes:

push back the timeline. make it the 2100s or 2200s. doesn't really matter

following this, sullivan would have been born some time in the first half of the 2000s

instead of a war orphan who turns to eugenics (bruh???), he's instead born into privilege and his dad is basically elon musk. uts corp starts out as basically spacex

keep the nanobots bit! they're injected into him at some point - to cure a sickness, just for the hell of it, whatever. whether or not his dad has a hand in it depends on how heavy-handedly we want to draw the parallels with kot-nim and *her* dad. in any case, seeing how kot-nim's nanobots protect and help her, unlike his, will fuck sullivan up and contribute to why he so badly wants to destroy her after he's done exploiting her

this sullivan is a man obsessed with legacies (and not the "purity" of the human soul holy shit). he struggles at first to uphold his father's legacy. when he surpasses it by building eden, it's a slippery slope. now he wants to leave *his* own mark as flashily as possible, collecting orphans (including tae-ho and captain jang) & "raising" them in his own twisted version of parenthood to be "geniuses"

i think captain jang should have been more sullivan's protégé than tae-ho, which could also explain why she's more reluctant to "parent" kot-nim bc she doesn't know what a healthy parent-child relationship is supposed to look like. would have also given more weight to the revelation that she's tried to kill him multiple times. i like to think tae-ho had a mentor he was close to in the space guard - the closest thing he had to a parent, maybe the one who actually found him first before sullivan literally carried him in his arms to uts. maybe they died just before the mission where he found su-ni, and that's partly why he decided to save her

this film has everything - anti-capitalism, the juxtaposition of blood ties with found family, breaking cycles of abuse, nanobots!

this is A Lot of backstory though - which is why i wish space sweepers had been a tv series instead, so we could also have gotten more on everyone else. in any case, it's still a p good film with a lot of heart and great rewatch value! two hours just fly by!

[laurensxox]

Ayo how bout a Alastor x reader hcs who was a victim of his crime during his time on earth but they didn’t know that they were until later down in the relationship down in hell. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense ^^ I tried my best to explain

Anon, and everyone who will read this, get some tissues because this ended up angstier than I intended-

Alastor - His S/O was one of his victims when he was still alive

You and Alastor has what Sinners and Hellborns alike lives to call an "ideal relationship"; You understand each other easily and can handle what the other will throw

Your relationship may be ideal but it is far from perfect. Like any other relationship, yours has gone through a lot of trials and challenges. More often that you both had liked, your views and opinions woukd sometimes clash and spark an argument.

You both ended up talking it out in the end tho, finding a middle ground on everything. After all, communication is key and you both take that very seriously.

In the depths of your mind hid information about your beau that no one else is ever allowed to know, and the same with him. They were secrets that you both will take to your final death with you.

You're both powerful and feared as well; both being Overlords and can cause nightmare inducing carnages when you're in the mood for it.

Sinners who dares to make a move on you or to Alastor were often found on the sidewalk brutally murdered with the words "Don't touch what is not rightfully yours" written in blood above them

Everyone who sees it already knows who did it right away

You were both a match made in Heaven Hell

That is, until you both became so trusting and comfortable with each other enough to share how you both have met your demise

You were the first to share what caused you to be sent to Hell and how you died

You were a well known speakeasy singer from the 1920s who killed a man for attempting to desecrate you and managed to get away with it, you were killed by a serial killer on the loose

Alastor was next to share his history

Hearing about how Alastor was a serial killer back then had unnerved you at first due to your own history but you were reassured by the man that he doubts he was the one who caused you your demise

If only he knew how wrong he was

It came as a shock to the both you when you both realized that you were both from the same era, clearly despite your strong belief on communicating, you weren't doing so enough

The revelation made you nervous, there was a growing pit in your stomach that fills you with dread

So you asked him where he used to live in, where did he do his killings, masking your dread with false curiosity

"Why, in New Orleans of Louisiana, my darling–"

You remember suddenly screaming, falling out of your chair and scrambling away from him in fear. Tears pooling in your eyes and falling down your cheeks like a left open faucet

Your head replaying the scene of you running in the bayou, cuts all over your body, adrenaline and fear coarsing in your veins. You see yourself being tackled to the ground, the feeling of something sharp making it's way in your body again and again and again

Alastor tried to calm you down and ask you what was wrong, what was causing his beloved to shake with such immense fear, the sight of you crying was breaking his somewhat still beating heart

But as he was about to pull you into his arms like he usually do when you get PTSD attacks about your death, you screamed something that totally broke his entire being

"YOU'RE MY KILLER! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED ME! YOU'RE THAT MONSTER!"

You remember running awag while Alastor was frozen in shock, your feet took you to Rosie's emporium

So there you are , laying down shaking and crying in Rosie's guest room, covers over your head and your hand pressed tightly againsg your ears

You can hear Rosie trying to get Alastor to stand up from where he kneels in front of the door, begging you to come out and talk to him

Before he completely, he asked for you to knock your code for each other (two knocks for yes, one for no) to know if he'll ever get a chance to talk to you again

Knock.

That's it.

Alastor left that night, and he didn't return

You stayed at Rosie's the entire time, working with her behind the scene as you didn't want to risk seeing him

Years passed by and you were starting to realize some things, and he plagued your mind

How was he now?

Does he still cause fear upon the denizens of Hell?

Has he found a new paramour?

Does he still feel the same for you?

Heading downstairs, you heard Rosie's girls gossiping about something.

"Have you heard? The Radio Demon is rumored to be helping the Princess with her project"

So your past lover was at the infamous Happy Hotel, huh?

Maybe it's beneficial for you two to get some closure

Time to get ready, you're giving a certain deer demon a visit

This ended up looking more like a one shot, jfc, sorry for that 😅 I had too much fun lmao

I wasn't entirely happy with how this turned out to be honest, it seems so lacking jeez

I really shouldn't write while I'm sick lol

[rhaerhaenyra]

the veins in his arm jfc

[randomingoftherandomness]

Hi! So...wenzhou, gods these two have taken over my life, and here I am again buzzing with ideas that keep me awake at night.

This one is with some big SPOILERS, because ep. 32-33 (are you okay? I'm not okay). So, if you are not comfortable with writing it, or it won't make much sense, no worries at all, buuuut what if: what happened on that cliff was not part of an elaborate plan, but everything was for real. The fall, the injury, except for the death part. What if when zzs finds wks's body in that shed with the Beauty Ghost, he can hear the barest of heartbeats, wks is still clinging to life and zzs takes him away from there and brings wks somewhere safe, contacts the seventh lord for help and they go into hiding together. Zzs takes care of wks, until he recovers and they make a plan to fix everything TOGETHER. I know that ep 33 probably explains why it was important for wks to fake his death, but it just hurts too much to know that he told nothing to his A-xu. So, what i'm asking for is basically an AU. I just want some wks wump, and them together against the word, as it should be (and NO nail extractions jfc, two years is already short enough).

I hope i was coherent enough, but like I said, no hard feelings, if it's not your cup of tea. It's just my conspiracy brain taking over :"D

Have a great day and stay safe!

Okay, so I am gonna come right out and say that I’m still extraordinarily bereft at having lived up until that last scene in the extra episode they gave us 🥲 it’s not that I don’t think that this is a very very good prompt because it sure as hell is, but at this juncture all I can offer you is this very short snippet that I hope that you can come bother me to expand when the YouTube audience has caught up somewhat so that this can be an AU that we can all enjoy together. Consider this your Carte Blanche for this prompt ✌🏼

—

There is a thread of life that exists in every single human being. Whether they be Kings or beggars, where your thread frays and ends, that is the moment your lungs expand for the last time.

Zhou Zishu is holding on to his Lao Wen with enough fervour and desperation pouring out of him that if he had to fight the Heavens to keep his Lao Wen here with him, he would.

He has exhausted three horses just to get them this close to salvation and he knows he will have to carry Lao Wen the rest of the way if his letter has yet to make it.

Darkness prickles at the edges of his sights but he shakes it off, bright bursts of light in the backs of his eyes that leaves him dizzy.

A quick look down to the Lao Wen’s still and silent form is enough for him to dig into the last vestiges of strength he has left in him. Aching bones protesting, head splitting with a pain that has him tasting bile, but he pushes them all down. All for the sake of the one in his arms.

Just when Zhou Zishu feels his horse whinny, he sees the riders coming his way. Three. He freezes, hand going to his sword. Lao Wen doesn’t stir through this and he feels some hopeless part of his heart break and he folds him right against his chest, feeling the burn of tears but knowing none will come.

He will die before he lets anyone take Lao Wen from him.

“Zishu!”

He knows that voice.

“Zishu!” His heart catches in his throat at the sight of a figure in dark clothes at the head of the group and the pale face of his friend by his side.

The relief that courses through his veins is enough to bring him stumbling to his knees. Bei Yuan and Wu Xi dismount swiftly, Ping An climbing down only a beat slower to rush to his side.

He reaches out a hand to Wu Xi, pressing every desperate hope and impossible wish into his words.

“Save him.”

[jaynovz]

And moving right along to whatever the fuck is about to happen in 1.7536

Recap is that LEWIS JUST DRAGGED AN UNCONSCIOUS DOC GREEN INTO A DARK ROOM. Nah but for real the recap is just Lewis’ entire arc/dark spiral up to this point so... let’s go!

--

yes yes Nikau and Bells are being real cute but listen I DO NOT have time. I need to see Lewis Go Feral

--

Tori and Jasmine like “yeah we’ll sort these dumb boys out nbd” and I’m like... it has uhhh it has Escalated. They don’t know yet

--

oh. oh boy. Doc Green is literally strapped to a gurney, like full restraints. this is about to Go Places.

OH. wow he is fucking terrifying. his uhhh his voice is doing the deep growly thing. mark me down as scared and horny

whoever wrote this, I see your kink ok. and I support it

the slow ominous cranking of the gurney bed or whatever is... SO SCARY

HOW DOES HE DO THIS. HOW DOES HE FLIP THAT SWITCH. One second, adorable, next second MURDER

--

everyone going about their day, having breakfast, no idea that an Incident is occurring

--

jesus h christ he is just tightening those restraints. and there is a lot of squirmin happening like. WE SEE YOUR KINK.

I meant who doesn’t want to see Luke’s pretty arms flexing to tighten restraints?

UMMM?? “I want you to know what it’s like to surrender control” ?!!? “Your life is in my hands now. How does that make you feel?” what. the FUCK. the like, the d/s vibes yall. the growly voice. the FACE. this is getting very sexual, WE. SEE. YOUR. KINK.

Yeah Christian how does it make you feel? cuz I know how it makes ME feel and it’s VERY CONFLICTED BUT ALSO LIKE .... yes. yes. more of this.

well jaz and tori are investigating, wonder if they’ll get there in time?

--

gratuitous bondage squirming cap

Doc Christian Green and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

“Not until you confess” oh my GOD

HE’S VIDEOING THIS. OMG FULLY UNHINGED. WHAT. so scary so scary omg. sexy scary

--

okay okay the girls are finally going to the hospital to check on things and in the meantime...

didn’t know he could make an even scarier face

guys... all MY FUCKING DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE. I wanted to see him go feral and IT’S HAPPENING

god he is fucking LOSING IT. it’s BEAUTIFUL. RIVETING STUFF. BRAVO

oh wow he just tore his shirt open. oh WOW. ohhhhh myyyy godddd

christian out here begging for his life and Lewis is like “sorry can’t come to the phone right now”

“I WANT TO SEE THE EXACT MOMENT YOUR HEART STOPS” JESUS CHRIST

OH BOY DRUGS ARE IN THE VEINS NOW AND DOC GREEN SEEMS TO BE GOING INTO CARDIAC ARREST

and on that note NEXT EPISODE JFC

[quitetheketch-moved]

just saw a gifset from Loki where he’s shirtless and i’m so full of rage about hollywood body standards for men right now. I am clawing at the sides of my enclosure. Like obviously body standards and beauty standards for everyone suck shit this isn’t me saying men have it worse than women because that’s objectively untrue, but rn i’m about to start crying over fucking six packs. Stop. Fucking. Dehydrating. People. jfc. like this isn’t attractive this is like, i’m worried he’s gonna goddamn pass out someone please get him some water i can count all the veins in his arms. 

[cinnaminsvga]

body of mine preview | Seokjin (M)

→ summary: It’s the night before Seokjin’s birthday and you, his ever-reliable witch slash roommate, have accidentally forgotten to get him a gift. Good thing you know magic then, right? Ten wishes shouldn’t be too hard to handle...

{or alternatively: learning the importance of living a marie kondo lifestyle, but in hindsight}

→ genre: shifter!au, magic!au, humor/crack, smut → warnings: jin is your magical hamster familiar, jin is chaotic (ofc), aphrodisiac sex, penetrative sex, oral (f receiving), slightly rough sex, dom!jin if you squint, hair pulling, jin doesn’t wrap up his peepee (pls practice safe sex u guys), slight breeding kink?? → words: anticipated 15K → a/n: jfc... how the hell is it july already... this was supposed to be a bday gift for @jincherie​ but i suck balls and writing overheated my tiny chimp brain but i guess better late than never!! anyway... hope to get this out [insert date here] but uhhh til then... here is this!!

Due to your magical abilities, you had sensed that this little hamster had magic in his veins and you guessed that he must have either been a shifter or an intellectually augmented animal. You guessed that he’s the former, much like how Yoongi is a cat shifter as well. Ever since Namjoon had befriended Yoongi and the two became partners, you admit that you’ve always been a little jealous of their natural camaraderie. You had long since yearned for someone who could assist you in your magical apothecary, but more importantly, someone you could share your time with.

You were optimistic; perhaps when the little hamster learned to shift into its human form, then you could truly begin your journey towards friendship. You’re sure that the man behind the hamster must be just as cute and lovely.

Speaking of learning to shift–

“What? You mean me?” Yoongi asked, craning his head over Namjoon’s shoulder, his curiosity getting the better of him but still remaining a safe distance away from you and the hamster. “What about learning to shift?”

“Did you just learn one day? I want to get Mr. Hamster over here to turn into a human so I can speak to him,” you explained, but the cat shifter narrows his eyes distrustfully.

“I don’t want that vermin to gain the ability to speak. I can just tell no one is going to enjoy what he has to say,” he sniffed. He growled lowly, the sound so deep and feral that you are momentarily disarmed by his hostility. Namjoon had to rub the back of his ears for a second, forcing Yoongi to calm down until his growl softened into a purr.

“Well, Yoongi over here can’t control his shifting abilities quite yet. I have to… forcibly change him, if you will,” Namjoon explained, watching Yoongi with loving eyes as he gently nuzzled into the witch’s hand. He beckoned you closer and you took a tentative step forward, keeping the hamster behind your back just to be safe. “Watch,” he said simply, as his hand trails lower and lower until it reached the back of Yoongi’s neck and he–

Poof! Namjoon simply tickled the back of Yoongi’s neck and a puff of purple smoke revealed a munchkin cat in its wake. His soft gray and white fur bristled in surprise, his teeth bared at Namjoon as he meowed in contempt. Namjoon ignored all of this, gently picking up the tiny cat and cradling him in his arms like a baby. Immediately, the shifter relaxed, eyes closing contentedly as he nuzzles deeper into Namjoon’s chest.

“Woah,” you said, for lack of better words. You shook your head, gazing at the two in wonder. “I didn’t know Yoongi has a fucking eject button.”

“Yep. I sure hope you don’t abuse this knowledge, by the way,” Namjoon warned, but the mischievous gleam in his eyes told you that he probably wouldn’t mind if you did. Knowing you, there was no question that you’d take any and every opportunity to annoy the cat shifter. “If this hamster is the same, then surely it has a similar tick. Since it’s small too, I’m sure it’ll be easy to find its spot.”

“Speaking of,” you piped up, staring curiously at him. “How… did you find out where Yoongi’s spot was? Didn’t you meet him as a human?”

Namjoon shrugged, but there’s a soft pink tint coloring the tops of his ears. “Umm… Coincidence?”

You squinted at him. “Sure,” you agreed, not really wanting to know why he seemed so embarrassed. You turned back to the furry matter at hand, lips pursing as you gazed upon the hamster. Surely, there should be an easy way to figure this out…

You began to roll the small hamster in your hand like a pancake, twisting and pulling the lil guy until it was squeaking in protest. You made sure not to handle it too roughly, so you were a bit surprised at how dramatically the hamster was screaming. “Just another moment, baby…” you murmured. At the sound of the pet name, the hamster paused in its squirming, staring wide-eyed at you with its tiny mouth ridiculously agape. You arched a brow, amused at the aghast expression on its face.

“Well, that settles it. You’re definitely human, by the looks of it,” you commented, poking it lightly on the nose. The hamster scrunched up its face just as a soft pink smoke started to envelop its tiny body. You coughed harshly, your sinuses tickled by the strong scent of caramel and mint. “W-well, I think I found its spot,” you pointed out helplessly, eyes watering as you tried to keep them open.

The hamster’s body was growing ridiculously hot, forcing you to drop it on your kitchen counter. You hissed, sucking on your burned appendages as you wait for the smoke to subside. Beside you, Namjoon had Yoongi held tightly in his arms, his back turned away to keep the smoke away from their faces. “Y/N, get some clothes quickly. He’s going to be cold when he finishes transforming,” was all he said, his free hand covering his nose. “This is probably going to be its first shift!”

You’re still completely flabbergasted, frozen in place. “What?” you replied dumbly, standing stock still as you waited for the smoke to dissipate. As more and more of it cleared, you noticed two pairs of long legs where there originally had been none. You waved your hand a bit, fanning the remaining fumes away from your face, allowing you to gaze upon a very naked and very tall man sitting primly on your kitchen counter.

You and the man stared each other down, neither of you blinking or backing down. After a few moments, the man smiled brightly at you, his cheeks bunching up much like how he had appeared in his hamster form. “Hello, human,” he greeted, extending a hand towards you. You took it dazedly, still staring wide-eyed at him. “My name is Seokjin. I suppose this means I’m going to be your familiar from now on.”

Your gaze travelled downwards, your hands still clasped together with his. “You’re naked,” you said plainly.

He followed your gaze. “I suppose I am,” he mused, shrugging his shoulders. He was incredibly wide; it almost made no sense that he was a hamster just a few seconds ago. What did he do, bench press sunflower seeds all day? “I am also incredibly beautiful, but we can continue stating the obvious another day.” He released your hands, clasping them together with a beatific smile. “C’mon, human! Bring me your finest garments for my handsomely sculpted testicles are starting to shrivel up from the cold.”

Behind you, you could hear Yoongi hissing loudly in response.

And from that day forward, your adventures of living with the biggest nuisance in the world had begun.

[supernaturalfreewill]

Your name: submit What is this?

Words: 4,686 Demon!Dean x Reader Warnings: Swearing? There MIGHT be some naughtiness. Maybe. Maybe not. A/N: About goddamn time, right? Jfc. I'm the worst! This is part of a series! Read the other parts first! Part 1 :: Part 2 :: Part 3 :: Part 4 :: Part 5.

You couldn’t help letting out a surprised laugh. “What, you’re stealing my bit now?” you asked him, trying to keep your tone unconcerned. “You know, the sudden and mysterious appearing is supposed to be my thing.” You turned on your bar stool and faced him.

His green eyes were surveying you. “I had a very interesting conversation with Sam, Cas, and Crowley recently,” he said, casually sitting down next to you and flagging down the bartender for a beer.

You let out another careless laugh. “God, Crowley is still around? I really thought Sam and Cas would have skewered him by now.” You kept your eyes toward the shelves of liquor behind the bar now but you could feel Dean’s on you.

Dean ignored you and forged ahead. “They told me somethin’. Something about you.”

You drained the rest of your beer, pulled a wad of cash out of your pocket, and tossed a generous amount down on the bar. “Look, I can see what you’re doing here, trying to be all vague and intriguing but there’s one important thing you forgot,” you said.

“And what is that?”

You looked him squarely in the face. “I really don’t give a shit.” You strode to the exit and headed down the block toward the shitty motel you had been using as home base, trying to shake off how strangely intense seeing Dean so suddenly was. You wondered if he had felt that way when you surprised him. It was like someone jerked on a knot you didn’t know you had deep in your chest. You were throwing all your gear back into your duffel bag, grabbing your jeans off the floor, tossing in your knife, when the hotel room door burst open. The silhouette was instantly recognizable.

”What the fuck are you doing?” you barked. “I shouldn’t need to spell this out for you again, Winchester.”

“‘Dean,’” he said seriously, pacing toward you.

”What?”

“You never call me ‘Winchester.’ You call me ‘Dean.’”

He was only a few feet from you now. The humid outside air was streaming in through the open door, making the atmosphere in the room suddenly feel thick and heavy. “I thought I made myself pretty clear during our last little rendezvous, but your skull is apparently thicker than even I estimated.”

“Then why haven’t you killed me yet?” he challenged you.

“I don’t think you want to,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. His voice was low and for some reason, perhaps because of the unacknowledged truth behind his words, it sent a shiver running up your spine.

You could feel your breathing and pulse quicken but you rolled your eyes and simply reached for your duffel bag. But Dean’s hand closed around your arm.

Your eyes shot up to meet his. “Let go of me,” you said dangerously.

He didn’t move. He was extremely close to you now, and his hand clasped onto your arm felt white hot.

”I mean it, Dean. I’m not asking.”

He studied you fervently, his green eyes narrowed and burning into yours. “You’re running,” he said.

”I don’t have to run from anything.” You yanked your arm away from him.

”Then why are you?”

”Fuck you. You don’t know anything about me! You think because you’ve been tailing me all over the country like a lost puppy that you have me figured out?”

Dean’s breathing was hurried now too. “I know enough,” he said. “I know what you’ve been doing and now I think I know why. I also know that despite the rumors flying around you aren’t the least bit interested in taking over Hell. But I’m not about to tell Crowley that.”

He had your attention.

“You’re running because you’re angry. And afraid,” he said.

You let out an audible scoff. You blinked and your eyes went black. “What could possibly be scaring me? You of all people should know what this feels like.”

Dean nodded. “I do know. That’s the point.”

You started to turn away. “You’re wasting my time. If you know what I’ve been doing, which I don’t doubt because of the aforementioned trailing me all over Creation, then you know I have an endless line of targets.”

Dean chuckled to himself and your eyes flitted over to him involuntarily. “You really are the worst demon,” he said. There was an annoying boyish smirk on his face. You felt a swell of anger rise like a rogue wave in your chest.

”What the hell did you just say to me?”

“It’s pretty obvious from the look on your face that you heard me,” he responded. “You can’t even go out as a demon and kill just to kill. Don’t you see that? You’re killing shitty humans and your own kind. It’s like some part of you still needs to justify what you’re doing, some corner of your black little demon heart isn’t completely giving in to the chaos.” He laughed again. “It’s kind of hilarious if you think about it. You’re not free at all.”

You glared at him and ignored the obnoxious tightness in your throat, doing your best to brush off some stupid feeling Dean had elicited. Why did that keep happening? You gathered your gear up again, turned your back on him, and made a step toward the door but his next words froze you in place.

“It doesn’t help, does it? The killing. Not really.”

When you didn’t make any other move to leave, Dean continued. “You’re just doing it to occupy your time. You’re trying to fill that emptiness that you think is going to consume you. That’s the thing you don’t know about being a demon until you are one: it’s rage, and it’s freedom, and it’s violence, and it’s power, but it’s all empty. You can’t feel things like a human can. Drugs, booze, sex. Even the highest, most heightened sensations are deadened compared to before. No wonder Crowley started shooting up with human blood…”

”Crowley’s weak,” you retorted.

Dean laughed and nodded. “It’s all relative.”

You wouldn’t turn to face him.

”But you’re furious. You didn’t choose this. You didn’t choose this emptiness. It was forced on you. And part of you blames me, because if I hadn’t gone darkside and refused to come back or to play nice then Crowley would never have turned you.” Dean’s voice was casual. He was keeping it forcibly so. He knew if the words he was saying were right he didn’t need to inject them with intensity, and the fact that you were still standing there, the breeze coming through the open motel room door sending your hair fluttering, told him he was right. “So you’re angry at the emptiness that you didn’t choose, but you’re even more afraid of the fact that, even as a demon, I’m the one thing that makes it stop.”

You turned around to look at Dean, keeping your expression emotionless at first before coercing it into what you hoped was a smug smile. “Isn’t that typical? The world revolves solely around the arrogance of Dean Winchester. Here’s some advice: stop projecting your bullshit onto me, Dean.”

“Face it. We’re connected. And you’re running scared.”

”Or perhaps it’s just possible that you’ve got the whole thing wrong,” you retorted. Your heart was hammering inside your chest, but you concealed your nerves, refusing to acknowledge that if Dean was wrong you wouldn’t have nerves to conceal.

Now he was getting a little angry at your obstinacy, at your denial when he felt he had just bared much of himself that was left. He knew he had it right. “I know you felt it,” he demanded.

“The only thing I feel now is my blade when it goes into my target.” You started to turn to leave, but just then Dean made a move toward you as if he planned to grab onto you again. Instinctively you flicked a hand up and he was sent flying into the opposite wall, his back colliding with the drywall and leaving a mark like a meteor had just struck.

As he climbed to his feet you adjusted your duffel bag on your shoulder and finally turned to leave again but there were suddenly three other demons in the room. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you muttered, immediately dropping your bag again. “I’ve told you to stop—fucking—following—me!” you yelled.

Dean was shaking off the stunned feeling left from colliding with the wall, but he quickly snapped out of it when you raised a hand, palm out, and the three demons who had just arrived disintegrated. Not exorcised, or killed with a demon-killing knife, or a spell… Disintegrated. To three piles of ash. The next instant, you and your gear were gone. Dean watched the ash catch and drift in the current of air still streaming in from outside.

What the fuck had he just seen? Shit. Maybe Sam, Cas, and Crowley had it right. You’d thrown him, a fucking Knight of Hell, across the room like it was nothing and then vaporized demons and their vessels in a split second. Fuck.

_ _ _ _ _ _

If demon blood could boil within veins, curdle and roll as it pumped through a vessel, yours was positively bubbling over. You kicked out at the nearby coffee table with a wild scream of frustration and sent it sprawling and splintering across the room. You could feel your entire frame heaving up and down as you breathed. Anger was seething out of your pores.

You stared down at the corpse on the floor in front of you. The pool of blood from her slit throat was so dark that it was almost black on the beige carpet where it had soaked in. The top of the saturated layer was dry and flaky. She’d been dead a while. At least a day. You jammed your clean knife back into the sheath at your hip. You stared down at the extinguished husk before you. Fuck. You had been really looking forward to offing this bitch too. She was nearly as bad as they came.

There was no sign of a struggle in the house besides the coffee table you yourself had destroyed. The doors were all bolted and chained from the inside. The windows were all in perfect condition, latched and whole. If you didn’t know any better, you would have said you had done the job yourself.

You shut your eyes and when you opened them again you were hidden in the shadows of a copse of trees in the backyard. You glanced around you slowly, willing there to be a shift in the shadows, a hint of movement. Something for you to chase down. Something explaining your spoiled planning.

This was the fourth time this month you had selected a target, did careful surveillance, stalked them, learned their habits, and showed up for the kill to find that someone had done it first. And not just the fourth target; four targets in a row. One was perhaps a coincidence. These people were garbage: child abusers, murderers, rapists… There were probably plenty of people who wanted to off them for the same reasons. You could have believed maybe even two were a coincidence. But three? Four? In a row? No fucking way.

This was deliberate. This was fucking deliberate.

Another failed hunt. Your fingers went to the hilt of your completely clean, unused knife. You felt like you had an itch you couldn’t scratch. You were unsettled. You rocked your weight from side to side, still peering around your surroundings. Nothing.

Suddenly you felt sick. What the fuck was this? Someone or something was messing with you. You didn’t need two guesses about who it was likely to be. Another wave of rage rose in your chest and threatened to swamp over you completely. Your vision even tinged a little red at the outside, like blinking through blood in your eyes. Your jaw clenched. He was trying to take away your sense of control? Sense of purpose? Why? Because you had told him to fuck off? Because he’d revealed too much to you and now was trying to exert his power? Because you’d tossed him into the wall? Your hands clenched into fists. Truthfully, the reason didn’t really matter.

Dean Winchester just couldn’t leave you alone.

The question now was how was he doing it? It’s not like you were easy to follow when you moved between jobs. You didn’t walk or drive from place to place. You were a demon. You wanted to be somewhere and you were instantly there. Sure, once you were in a new town, you’d steal a car you liked and travel like you used to. You’d walk to and from the bar or whatever hotel you were calling home that week. Well, that was over. No more human bullshit. You’d zap yourself anywhere you wanted to be from now on.

With that thought, you were back at the motel. You glanced around the room, checking to see if anything had been moved.

It all looked the same as when you had left. You grabbed a beer from the fridge and kicked off your boots. You let yourself fall backwards onto the bed, mimicking the stupid trust fall move companies seemed to think bonded their employees at forced “professional development” workshops. You stared up at the cobwebs clinging to the textured ceiling. You didn’t feel anything now. You were just numb. You shut your eyes.

Then the sick feeling returned. You pulled yourself up so your back was against the headboard and were just about to crack open your beer, shoving down that hollow feeling when it suddenly evaporated of its own accord. The hair on the back of your neck suddenly stood on end. There was a sensation like all the air had been sucked from the room. You felt like electricity was crackling over your skin.

You didn’t need to look. Your jaw clenched.

Your hand flew to your knife and in a fluid movement you pulled it from its sheath and sent it smoothly sailing, toppling in the air, hilt over blade, straight at Dean.

But it didn’t meet its target in the way you had intended. He was prepared this time. He was ready. He caught the blade between his fingers deftly, like it was the easiest thing in the world. And maybe it was… for a Knight of Hell.

“You son of a bitch,” you spat at him, climbing to your feet.

“I missed you, too,” he said, examining your knife carelessly now. There was a half-smirk curving his lips and you suddenly remembered when you had drunkenly punched him in the face, right in that cocky smile, back in that motel when Crowley had kidnapped you—a lifetime ago.

His green eyes lifted and landed on your face. Your heart began to race.

“Not much point throwing this at me, is there?” he said. He flung the knife straight down where it stuck upright into the carpet.

You didn’t say anything. You were tensed from head to toe. You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to tear him to pieces. But you couldn’t. It was like your feet were rooted to the floor.

Something about your expression made him smile and laugh lightly. He stepped over the knife and surveyed you from a few feet closer, narrowing his eyes slightly, looking like he was trying to read your thoughts. “You look like you’re thinking about the best way to dismember me,” he said. There wasn’t a trace of fear in his voice, which only further infuriated you.

“I want to know how you���re doing it,” you demanded.

“Doing what?” The stupid smile was still on his face.

“You know what.”

He raised his eyebrows at you but said nothing. Dean wandered over to the fridge and took out a beer. He twisted off the top and was about to take a sip when—

There was a sharp crack accompanied by a pop, followed by an exploding fountain of beer which splattered all over Dean.

You couldn’t prevent the tiniest satisfied smirk from turning up one corner of your mouth as you looked at him, now dripping wet and covered in foam.

Dean licked the beer dripping down to his lips and blinked a few times. The next instant he was clean and dry again. “Alright,” he said, clearing his throat. “Fine. We can play that way.”

The next moment he was gone. You waited—heart and breath stalled—your eyes searching the room a bit frantically. You willed your body language to stay the same, to not show that he was unnerving you. Then that electricity seemed to crackle up your back again…and you went rigid at the sensation.

“Y/N.” His deep voice was low, the familiar gravel sounding right in your ear. The next moment you could feel his breath on your neck. “You can’t tell me you don’t think about that night,” he whispered. You felt frozen. He was standing so closely behind you, if you just wavered back an inch you’d be pressed against him.

Move. Do something. What are you doing!? The voice in your head was almost screaming. But the memories came rushing back and you were suddenly overwhelmed, as if you were there—as if you had transported back into that moment. The same emotions, the same feelings. It was so strong and so sudden that it almost crippled you. You let out an involuntary gasp and squeezed your eyes shut. You felt your knees buckle and the edge of the bed beneath you. Your fingers clutched the blanket.

It was too much. You shoved it down. You gasped for air. You fought it. You fought it. You pushed it back. You surfaced, completely unbalanced but again in control, heaving breaths and waiting for the horizon to steady.

To your surprise, Dean wasn’t smiling now. He was staring at you with keen interest, studying your expression. You felt that your eyes were wide and that your lips had fallen slightly open. You adjusted. You closed off. Dean watched it happen. He watched you retreat into that cold stare.

“Don’t,” you warned him.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t do that.”

His voice was calm. “All I did was remind you of what happened.”

Your breathing was hurried again, making up for the long moment when you felt like you were drowning. “Don’t,” you said again.

“Or what? You’ll run?” he challenged you. “I’ll find you. Again. And again. And again.”

You stood and faced him with a steely expression. You watched him recoil and put a hand up to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. When they opened again, there was anger there but also something else you couldn’t quite define.

He didn’t look cocky or confident anymore. You had sent another flash of your corpse into his mind.

He tried his best to recover, arranging his face into a casual smirk, though not without some difficulty. “How if that fair? I remind you of the good times and that’s what I get back? Hardly fair.”

“Fair? You want to talk about fair? Tell me how! Were you just—were you following me? Did you send someone or something to follow me? How did you know where I would be, who I was after next? I want to know! You are taking away the one thing--” you stopped yourself before you revealed too much.

Dean didn’t answer. He just watched you starting to spiral.

“Why won’t you just leave me the fuck me alone?!” You were squaring off with him. “Just go—just go get drunk and do blow or whatever the fuck you’re into now and fuck whoever you like and leave me the fuck alone!” A force like a shockwave shot outward from you, but Dean was ready—he had steeled himself and it only pushed him back a couple steps.

“Leave you alone? You started this whole thing!” he argued back, his voice raised for the first time. There was a flash of lightning outside and the unmistakable bass of thunder rolling.

You scoffed. “Me?”

“Yes! You, Y/N! You! I didn’t turn you! I didn’t do that! That was ALL Crowley! But as soon as you’re back, I’m getting punished! You’re sending me—” he actually stopped and let out a noise like a frustrated growl, “You come back as a demon and the first thing you do is start shoving images of your dead body into my fucking head! And now you want me to leave YOU alone?!”

You actually started laughing sardonically. “You are such a fucking prick. You still have no idea. You know what? I’m not going to explain it to you. You can figure it out, Einstein.”

“Oh, now you’re done? Now we’ve hit your limit?” Dean started advancing on you. “Go on, Y/N. Go ahead. Run away from it. Like I said, I’ll find you. Eventually you’re going to have to face it.”

You felt heat rising into your face. “Face what, Dean?” you challenged him.

His jaw clenched and his eyes were flitting between yours, stormy and intense, but he was less than a foot away from you now. The next instant he was kissing you.

You stumbled back in shock and pushed him away from you. “What the hell are you doing?” you gasped.

Dean gave a vague shrug and stared at you incredulously. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. “I—I feel like that should be pretty obvious at this point.”

You ripped your eyes away from the fire burning in his and started to rush toward your bag of gear, ready to grab it and be gone, but Dean was suddenly right there again, blocking your way.

“Move.”

“No.”

“Dean—“

For some reason, he smiled. “No. I’m not moving. If you want me to move you’re going to have to make me. And we both know you’re capable of it.”

But you didn’t. You could have sent him flying across the room. You could have pulled the building down around him. You could have disappeared. You didn’t need your bag of clothes and gear—it was all replaceable. But you didn’t. You stood rooted there unable or unwilling to break the eye contact you had with Dean. You could hear a torrential rainstorm outside.

Dean took another small step toward you. You tried to ignore how the closer he got the faster your heart beat.

He hesitated for a moment, trying to read what was going on behind your eyes but he found it impossible. He reached a hand up and slid it into your hair, his fingers floating down the side of your neck and tracing down to your collarbone. His expression was hungry, almost desperate.

You felt yourself crumbling. “Move.” It came out as a whisper, and Dean could hear the emptiness, the weakness. It wasn’t a command. It was like you were begging him not to.

He licked his lips as his eyes flitted down to yours. “Make me.”

You crashed into him, colliding. The heat between the two of you was instant and you were ready to be consumed, to give into it. Dean kissed you hungrily, biting your bottom lip, his fingers tangled in your hair, one hand grabbing your hip. You pressed into him, wanting more, needing more, and you both toppled backward until his back hit the wall.

Dean suddenly had both your wrists in his hand and he spun you forcefully until he had you pinned up against the wall. Both of you were out of breath, drinking in each other with hungry eyes. Dean kissed you hard and his lips moved to your neck, to your collarbone. He bit at your earlobe and you couldn’t stifle the gasp that left your lips. He released your wrists and you slid one arm around his neck, your fingers sliding into his hair. Your other hand slid up under his shirt, pressing into his lower back, pulling his hips into you. You wrapped a leg around him and bit his bottom lip as he slid his hands over you tracing your waist, the curve of your hips, one sliding around to grab your ass.

The thunder outside cracked and rolled and flashes of lightning made their way through the edges of the curtains. It was a complete downpour outside, but neither you nor Dean heard any of it.

Dean pulled off his jacket and you stripped off his shirt. His hands found the hem of yours and did the same. Your kissed him hungrily and unbuttoned his jeans, your fingers tracing over his stomach and back as he kicked them off. Dean lifted you up so you were straddled around his hips and carried you over to topple you onto the bed. He dropped you down and you bit your lip as he undid the zipper and button on your jeans and tugged them down.

There was unmistakable desire in his eyes and you felt your chest and cheeks flush with the same. Dean trailed kisses from your hips up your sides and up your chest. He pinned your arms above you with one hand and slid the other into your hair, pulling it hard enough to turn your head and hold it there so he could kiss your neck.

Soon you were both just skin on skin, and you gasped as he pushed inside you, your fingernails digging into his back. Dean smiled at your reaction and relished your hand splayed out on his lower back, and the feeling of your skin like silk against his. You wrapped your legs around him and both of you were consumed with tingles and electricity skittering over your skin. The building heat between you was rising to a peak and you kissed each other hungrily. Dean pressed into you and waves of pleasure traveled down to your toes. His kiss became less hungry, less desperate, and softer. You both gasped out of breath, heat radiating between you, and now completely consumed by the realization that neither of you had felt anything like that, like this in your entire lives, as humans or demons. No other sensation since Crowley had turned you had been even a modicum of this intense. Even your rages and violent retribution paled in comparison…

You looked into each other’s eyes, bewildered and spent. Dean settled down next to you, a hand still draped across you resting on your hip. You were both reeling. He reached over and smoothed a hand through your hair. There was something questioning in your eyes that made him laugh.

You bit your bottom lip and mouthed wordlessly for a moment, which only made him laugh a little harder.

“That was—uhh…” Dean couldn’t find the words and just cupped your face in his hand and kissed you passionately again. “…Yeah.” He flopped down on the pillow beside you. “Did you know that that would be—?”

You shook your head, knowing your cheeks were pink, the heat still blooming there. “No,” you said, biting your bottom lip. “Did you?”

A small smirk curved one corner of his mouth. “I had a hunch,” he said.

The question was still there in your eyes. “What?” Dean prodded you.

“I guess I’m just trying to reconcile what just happened,” you said.

Dean raised his eyebrows. “With?”

“With how much I wanted to kill you right before it happened,” you said, baffled.

Dean let out a gruff laugh. “Yeah. Yeah… Give it some time.” He gazed up at the ceiling for a moment. “Would it help if we did it again? You know, to help you reconcile?”

There it was. A genuine smile. And goddamn wasn’t it beautiful. Dean had been wanting to see that since he’d woken up as a demon. Nothing else in the world came close.

[blkmxrvel]

Thanks, A Latte

Pairing: Lena Luthor x Black!Female!Reader

Words: 12k

Prompt:

Summary: the five times y/n takes Lena’s heart and the one time she does something about it.

Warnings:  Just a whole lotta gay shit, also I seriously didn’t feel like editing this so-

A/N: This blank layout has been sitting in my drafts for months and it’s christmas lmao, i tried my best, it’s probably gonna be in here for a few more by the time I get done with it. (i’m posting this May 20th, 2019. I started this draf in november 2018. jfc)  It’s Lena’s “POV” meaning you really only get her side of the story, you get a bit of Y/N’s view point.

i.

It was a regular day for Lena, so it was boring. She was the owner of a coffee shop, Brainy’s. It was her first time owning anything, so she took great pride in it; it was quiet, quaint and homey, just like she liked it.

She didn’t have many employees, but she didn’t really mind it either. She was fine with making tea and coffee and getting to know her customers.

It was only her today. Winn and Kara were out of town on vacation, and Sam didn’t work weekends, so she picked up the missing times. The bell above the entrance door chimed, and in walked a short girl with her backpack hooked around her arm. Lena took notice immediately, head looking up from where she was restocking cups. She was beautiful, Lena knew that immediately.

She’d never been here before, Lena would have recognized her if she did. Her laptop was soon out in front her, eyebrows furrowed together and fingers wiggling in frustration. Even with the stress radiating off of her, Lena was pretty sure she was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

Once she was done with the small work, Lena grabbed her notebook and pen and strutted over to the pretty girl in question. She didn’t want to disrupt her, as it was clear that she was surrounded by her work.

“Hi!” She said softly, but enough to catch her attention. Lena could have swore she was in a trance. She’d seen many eyes in her life, they were her favorite feature on anyone; but her Y/E/C were something eyes. She had never seen anything like them. They were big, vibrant and dull at the same time, they held anguish, stress, pain, but sparkles of joy and peaceful were sprinkled in them. She was heartbroken and in love.

“Welcome to Brainy’s! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before, so I have a menu for you, if you would like to order.”

The girl looked at her for a few seconds, making Lena’s cheeks go a little pink. “Or not…”

She shook her head, seemingly coming out of a trance. “Sorry!” She apologized. “My mind is just so jammed packed right now. I know this is like a… special cafe, so do you have anything for focus? Something that could help me study a bit better?”

Lena thought for a moment, going through the menu that was engraved in her brain.

“Yes! But it’s not a traditional tea or coffee, it’s more of a boosted latte, that alright?” The girl nodded her head, subconsciously bouncing her legs up and down. “I’ll be right back then.”

It didn’t take long for her to become immersed in her work again, Lena noticed. The Y/E/C girl was writing things down on a notebook, softly saying the words to herself in hopes of memorizing them. Lena’s face turned down into a frown; she knew what those days were like, she was glad she was finished with school. But still, she wished that she could do something to lift her spirits.

“Here you go.” Lena said as she walked back to the table again. She didn’t acknowledge Lena’s presence, probably because she was so into her studying.

Taking note of this, Lena just sat the cup on the table. That seemed to catch the girl’s attention, she jerked her head up and smile guiltily at Lena.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t hear you, thank you so much!” Lena chuckled and just smiled back at her.

“It’s no problem at all,” Lena reassured. “I’ve been there too. Big exam?” Lena wiped her clammy hands on her apron. Her eyes were staring up at Lena, big Y/E/C eyes feeling like they were boring into Lena’s soul. She wasn’t used to this, this wave of pure euphoria that crash through her body from head to toe. She had only heard about love at first sight, she didn’t think to would ever happen to her.

“Yeah, midterm.” She replied. “It’s tomorrow and my house is never quiet enough for me to study, so places like this are my savior.” She let out something between a sigh and a chuckle before running her hands along the top of her pants. Lena frowned a little, disliking the way her body deflated.

“Well!” Lena put on her happy face and cheery face. “Good luck! This place is always open to you, and if you need anything at all, just let me know.”

The girl smiled a toothless smile at Lena, grabbing her pen and twirling it in between her fingers. “Thank you,” she said after a while. “I definitely will.”

Lena smiled one last time and walked back to the Kitchen. The mystery girl came in at the perfect time it seemed like, because at soon and Lena set her apron on her chair, Brainy’s got even busier. A wave of customers flooded through the shop, she didn’t even have time for a break that day.

It was 10 ‘till 9 and Lena was completely wiped. She had spent the rest of the day running around; taking orders and wiping tables. She hadn’t even had time to look and fawn over the pretty girl that was sitting diagonal to the counter.

How rude.

Lena stood at the counter, hands splayed over the edges. The coffee shop was practically empty, save for a few people just finishing up. Footsteps were heard getting closer to Lena, so she lifted her head. She was pleasantly surprised to see her favorite person– the new girl walking toward her. She had her bag on her shoulder and her phone in hand. Lena smiled right back, standing up straight and using her now clammy hands to smooth out her apron.

“I just wanted to say thank you, for the Latte. It was literally the best thing ever, I got all my studying done and I can finally sleep.” There was a certain giddiness to the way she spoke, something like relief and relaxation. Lena noticed that her eyes were a little brighter and that made her rejoice.

“Well I’m really glad that I could help. Would you like another for the test? Just something to boost your memory. On the house.”

She immediately shook her head. “I can pay for it, it’s fine.”

“Nah,” Lena waved her hand, leaning in a little bit. “Once my mind is made up there is no changing it.” She smirked at her, walking back to the area where the made the latte.

“I’m Lena, by the way. In case you didn’t see the name tag.” She swirled the chocolate into the cup holding it up to the whip.

“Y/N.” Lena smiled. She grabbed the lid, walking back towards Y/N.

“How fitting,” Lena said, boldness surging through her veins. “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

Lena reveled the way blush crept up onto Y/N’s cheeks almost instantly, a slight smile grazed her lips. She could’ve died when Y/N’s fingers brushed against hers, taking the latte out of her hands. It seems like she almost combusted, the red on her cheeks even more prominent.

She squeaked out another “Thank you, Lena.” and then turned around rather hastily grip firm on the cup.

“Good luck!” Lena wished before Y/N walked out the door. She blessed her with another smile, opening the door and getting lost in the National City crowd.

Lena’s body was still on a high, a light buzz surrounding her. She smiled to herself and faced the wall. She tried and failed to stop the pace her of heart, certain that she was going to die at any second. She turned off the machines, deciding to close a few minutes early; the shop was empty and clean, she could leave.

Grabbing her purse and changing her shoes, she locked the door to Brainy’s, keys in her hand and Y/N in her mind.

ii.

The second time Lena sees Y/N, (two weeks later on a chilly, fall day) not much has changed. It was after Lena came back from a much needed vacation.

Y/N’s in the same state: flustered, frustrated and in a rush. Lena watches as she walks over to the same table, shoving her car keys into her pocket as she sits down. She smiles at Y/N before walking towards her.

She’s still the prettiest girl Lena has ever seen, even when it looks like she’s five seconds from combusting.

Lena arrives to the table, smile morphing into a frown when the girl she’s grown so fond of literally looks like she is about to combust.

“Another exam?” That makes Y/N’s head whip up, eyes wide with shock.

“Oh, hi! And, no. A paper this time. Due tomorrow, actually.” Her eyes went back to her laptop, scrolling through the pages she’d written so far.

Lena chuckled to herself. “Do you have a habit of starting really important things at the very last minute? Because if that’s the case then studying might not be your issue?” Y/N joined in on the laughter, Lena’s heart and eyes swelling at the sound. She knew she’d do anything to hear it over and over again.

“Trust me, I like to get head starts on these things.” She clarified then shrugged. “I just I like it here, it’s kinda like my last resort when it comes to studying. When I finally realize that my parents won’t stop yelling, I come here…” Y/N subconsciously let her shoulders fall, eyes still on her laptop.

Lena felt a sudden surge of protectiveness run through her. She placed a hand on Y/N’s shoulders, frowning slightly. “I’m sorry, but know that you’re always welcome here. From the time the doors open until they close.” She smiled reassuringly at the Y/H/C beauty.

“I’ll make sure you have an unlimited supply of anything you need. On the house.”

At that Y/N’s head snapped up, shaking immediately. “Oh no, it’s okay. I’ll just-”

“Nonsense, this is my shop.” Lena interrupted. “Let me do an act of kindness. You deserve it, truly.” Y/N smiled appreciatively.

“Okay then. Well, thank you in advance. I’m Y/N.” She stuck out her head towards Lena, and with no hesitation, Lena grasped hands with the other girls, shaking lightly.

They were warm, Lena noted. Y/N’s hands were warm, they sent a hot wave through her body on this cold November day. They were soft, smoother than any baby she’s ever met. She didn’t want to let go, but she knew she had to.

“I’m Lena.”

If it was anybody else, Lena would’ve laughed at the way Y/N had completely forgotten their first introduction. Her eyes would’ve scrunched up and a small little chuckle would’ve erupted from her throat. But instead, a smile fell upon her face, soon morphing into a frown. How much stress and pressure was she under, Lena wondered. The thought made her nauseous.

-

The rest of Lena’s day went as planned. She counted money, served customers, made drinks; the usual.

Lena’s day at Brainy’s was coming to an end. She had serviced the last customer, the bell ringing as they walked out. Well, she thought that was the last customer.

As she was putting the chairs on top of the tables, she noticed her new found favorite person in her same spot. Lena smiled at the triumphant grin on the other girls face. Her heart fluttered at the way Y/N’s eyes closed in relief, her body doing a little dance.

Lena had finished wiping down the tables when she spoke up.

“That smiles is a good thing, I hope.” She tossed the rag back into the sink and unraveled her apron. “It’s too beautiful to be anything but joyous.”

Lena had no idea where that had came from, and she didn’t regret it when she noticed the small blush on Y/N’s cheeks and smile on her lips.

“It’s a great thing actually.” She responded. “I turned in my paper and I’m really confident about it. Perks of a quiet environment, I guess. I know I would never be able to get this done at home.”

Lena feels her heart break a little inside. She didn’t understand how someone this sweet and kind couldn’t find happiness in her own home. She hoped Y/N could find home somewhere else, maybe in the form of a little coffee shop she ran. She didn’t say that though.

“I’m glad that my shop could be a part of such a beautiful journey.” Y/N chuckled.

It’s quiet for a moment. Y/N packs up her things, puts on her hat and scarf. Lena is grabbing her purse and the keys to the shop. They both head towards the door at the same time.

They meet at the door, facing each other and smiling, eyes locked. Y/N goes out on a whim, something Lena was sure was just a spur of the moment thing, and wraps her arms around Lena’s middle. The significantly shorter girl squeezed lightly.

Lena is taken aback, but doesn’t let that show on her face as she hugs Y/N back. Curls lightly hit Lena’s face, a flood of blueberry scent flooding her nose. White heat made it course throughout her. Lena closed her eyes.

“Thank you.” Y/N says as she pulls away. She looks shy at first, timid. It was like a natural instinct for her and Lena didn’t like it. She wanted to hear the rich laugh she heard earlier, see her lips and smile the most. But she sufficed with soaking up the happiness she felt as the small smile that graced Y/N’s lips.

“I don’t mean to be weird but you have no idea how much your shop and the things you do mean to me.” They lock eyes again and Lena smiles a sad smile. She steps forward and hugs Y/N again, loving the way the smaller girl melted into her frame.

“It’s nothing at all.”

iii.

This time, Y/N walks in a mess. It’s nearly a month later and tears are streaming down her face, bag in hand, hair disheveled and shaking. There aren’t many people in the shop, surprisingly, just a few people on the left. Y/N was grateful.

It’s close to midnight, so Lena is cleaning up her counter, she wasn’t really expecting anyone else. But when she hears the bell and looks up to see who it was, she immediately notices Y/N. Not the crying, though. Just the fact that she didn’t say hi and she wasn’t in her usual spot. She’s sitting in a booth.

No greeting, not even a smile, and she’s sitting in a booth. Y/N was not a booth girl. Something was wrong.

The last few people that were in the cafe left and Lena didn’t hold herself back. She walked right up to Y/N, who’s spaced out, and sits right next to her.

Lena doesn’t say anything, just closes as much distance as possible before wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. The latter turns her head and stares at Lena, willing herself not to cry into front of the person whose opinion she cared about most.

That didn’t work, Lena knew the girl across from her way too well. The nights they had spent talking had really done wonders. Lena never thought she would care about someone as much as she did with Y/N. She felt like she knew Y/N: strong, determined, albeit stubborn. She also knew that Y/N was one of the most kind-hearted people in this world. She was so strong that she felt like she couldn’t feel vulnerable, Lena knew, because she felt the same way.

Lena squeezed Y/N’s shoulder, going out on a whim to lean forward and press her lips to her forehead.

That broke the dam. Y/N released a shaky sigh, her body convulsing as she leaned into Lena’s shoulder. She sobbed into Lena and wrapped her arms around Lena’s middle. The raw pain vibrated into Lena’s soul, so she held Y/N tighter and forced herself not to cry.

Lena knew pain like this. She had lived it time and time again growing up. The pain of all your problems, breaking the weight of your soul, not being able to hold it any longer. The way your sobs spoke for you, Lena had been through this all before.

That’s why she didn’t say anything. She didn’t try bothering with the whole self-assuring mantra. She knew the it’s okay and you’re not alone speeches were useless. They only made people feel worse. So she resorted to comforting Y/N the way she always needed somebody to comfort her.

She pull her closer into herself, so much that the smaller girl was practically sitting on her lap. Arms wrapped around her neck, she felt tears soaking through her shirt but she couldn’t bring herself to care. A shirt over the heartbroken beauty she had grown to like? It was impossible. Her hands soothed over Y/N’s heaving body, so calm and so gentle, the way she always needed. Soft, pillow curls ticked her chin, and Lena smiled.

It didn’t dawn on her that the position they were in was anything but platonic. That for people had known each other for 2 months were this close, this comfortable. It all felt so natural for her that she didn’t realize her heart beating and breaking at once. All she cared about was you.

She let Y/N cry for as long as she needed. Her loud sobs eventually dulled into weak whines, and soon into silence. She didn’t know what time it was. It was silence before Lena spoke up, hearing her take a deep breath.

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. We can just sit here until you feel better.”

She felt Y/N shake her head. She sniffled a little before she lifted her head. Bloodshot Y/E/C eyes stared into Lena, and the latter just smiled.

“No it’s fine. I’m not gonna do all this and then not tell you. It’s not fair.” Lena chuckled while moving some hair out of Y/N’s face.

“It’s not about me, Angel. You do whatever you’re comfortable with.” She pretended not to see the smile and blush that appeared on Y/N’s face.

“I’m comfortable.” Y/N replied as she laid her head back onto Lena’s shoulder, facing the counter. Lena smiled and kept rubbing her back.

It was several minutes before Y/N spoke up again. No matter how comfortable Y/N said she was, she knew it would take a while for her to let it all out.

Lena had to strain her ears to her Y/N. “My parents arguing got worse. The worst it’s ever been. I don’t know what was said, but my mother left and took my two younger sisters with her. I don’t know why she didn’t take me, she knows me and my dad don’t get along. Oh well.”

“They did all that while I was studying for my exam too. It was so quiet all week I thought that they were finally starting to get along. Guess not.” A sniffle. “My dad yelled at me so bad afterward. He told me to go after them or do chores or something. I don’t know, so much was happening it was hard for me to process it all.”

Lena still didn’t say anything. Knowing that if she did Y/N would stop.

“I’m so tired, Lena.” Y/n’s voice broke. “Everything is just so much between school and home. I can’t even go back home because I know I’d hear my dad’s mouth if I did. He would try and blame it all on me. After a while I know I’d start to believe him. I mean my mother just left me there with him. Just me. Maybe I am the problem.”

“Okay, no.” Lena spoke up, not allowing Y/N to belittle herself. “That’s not your fault. Whatever problems your parents have is not up for you to take the blame for. You didn’t ask for any of it, not the arguing and discomfort. Hell, you didn’t even ask to be born.” Y/N chuckled. “Your parents are problems are results of your parents issues. Not you.” Lena ended firmly, letting Y/N know that she was 1000% serious.

Y/N wrapped her arms around Lena’s neck tighter and sat it silence for a little bit. This time it was Lena who broke it.

“You can stay with me. Since you said you don’t want to go home. I have an extra room and I live alone, it’s fine.”

Y/N lifted her head up and kissed Lena’s cheek, an action surprising them both. “Thank you, Lena. I’m staying with my grandma though. At least for the week, and then I’ll figure out something from there. She’s old and fragile, I don’t wanna stress her out too much.”

Lena hummed. “Well, just let me know. My door is always open for you.” Lena had the sudden urge to say that her heart was too, but she didn’t dare.

“You’re a saint.”

—

Three hours had passed before Y/N had decided to leave. Lena did her best to distract Y/N from her problems. Lena seldom left any subject untouched. They had talked about it all: book, hobbies, school, friends, music, and most importantly dreams and goals. Y/N wants art, Lena wants science. Y/N told Lena about her love for roller coasters, and Lena told Y/N about how terrified she was of them.

They played games. TicTacToe, I-Spy, hangman hide and go seek. They had the time of their lives. Especially for Lena, she had liked to think it was a date, but she’d never voice that out loud. It wasn’t until the 6th round of hide-and-go-seek that Lena decided to call it a night. She had been looking for Y/N for 10 minutes, 10 minutes! She should know this place like the back of her hand, it was her shop. Y/N wasn’t doing anything to help her out either, there wasn’t a sound heard anywhere.

Lena had decided to look in the closet, she was positive that was where Y/N had to be hiding. There was literally no place else.

Lena held her breath, steadying her hand onto the door handle.

3…..2…..1…..

“Got you!” Lena yanked the door open, smile wide on her face and ready to see the shocked look on her face. But she was the shocked one. Y/N was laying on the floor, curled up into nothing more than a ball with a bundle of curls on top.

Lena’s heart melted at the sight. Y/N hand was scrunched up under her chin. She knew she was in love. Okay. Maybe not in love, in love, but pretty damn close to it.

She took out her phone, yawning herself when she saw the time. 4:27. She kneeled down, getting a good look at Y/N before slowly waking her up.

YN’s face contorted into an expression of discomfort and anger when her eyes open. That dissipated though, when she saw Lena’s caring smile above her.

“Hey, Sleepyhead. It’s pretty late. And I’m not going to leave you here to sleep in the closet. But I will walk you to your grandmother’s house if you’re up to it?” Y/N nodded her head sleepily, taking Lena’s hand and standing up. It took a little while for Y/N to balance herself, but a few seconds later she had it.

Y/N walked to the exit, smiling gratefully when Lena handed her her bag. She opened the door for Lena, subconsciously leaning into her. Lena blushed hard, thankful that Y/N had been too tired to look up.

“Cambridge Street. It’s just a block or two away. I can walk alone.”

“This late at night? I think not.” Lena scoffed.

“But then you would have to walk home, that’s not safe either.” Lena smiled and grabbed Y/N’s hand, walking a bit slower.

“I’ll be fine. I have friends who look out for me.”

“What? Is your friend Supergirl?” Lena just laughed. If only she knew.

“Whatever.” The two of them walked in silence. Both of them were most content they had ever been. Y/N rested her head on Lena’s shoulder, Lena rested her head on Y/N’s. It was quite perfect.

Just as they rounded the corner, a large white house with silver lights screamed at them.

“This is me.” Y/N yawned. She didn’t lift her head until they had reached the steps.

Y/N wrapped her arms tightly around Lena’s middle, squeezing incredulously while Lena reciprocated. “Thank you.” She said. “Thank you for everything you’ve ever done. From the first moment I walked into your shop until now. I’m forever grateful.

“Anytime, sunshine.” Lena smiled as she let go of Y/N to reach for her phone, handing it to Y/N. “I’m always here. You can put your number in if you want, and then anything you need to talk you can alwa-”

Y/N grabbed the phone before Lena could finish her sentence, entering in her number and handing it back to Lena. “Done. You don’t have to tell me twice.” Lena chuckles, and they end up wrapped in that silence again. Only this time it was more vulnerable.

They stand at the doorstep, staring at each other. There’s something there. Y/N can feel it too, Lena is sure of it.

She’s never wanted to kiss someone so bad. She’s never wanted to wrap her arms around someone’s body and feel their warmth; protect them from every single threat. She’s never wanted to hear the laugh, see the smile, and just know that she’s made a beautiful heart beat a little faster. She’s never wanted to take someone’s pain away and be their happiness, not as much as her does with Y/N. Should she kiss her?

She doesn’t. She just settle with a kiss on Y/N’s forehead and a promise to see each other soon.

As Y/N walks into the house, Lena feels a pang of regret in her chest at the soft lips that pull up into a shy smile. Lena wanted to feel that same smile as their lips were pressed together.

She sighs. She should’ve kissed her.

iv.

Lena sees Y/N for the fourth time at Brainy’s two weeks later. They’ve been hanging out quite a bit since that night and it’s safe to say that Lena is completely infatuated with the brown skin beauty.

They’ve become the best of friends in the past two weeks, attached at the hip. They hang out at the park near Y/N’s house, go out for lunch when Lena had days off, shopping on Lena’s payday. Was Lena spending her money on Y/N? Yes. Did she enjoy spoiling her? Of course. What she ever going to tell Y/N about her feelings? Absolutely…..not!

With everything that Y/N has been going through lately, it wasn’t fair to just drop such a bomb on her like that. Besides, they were just starting to get to know each other, she didn’t want to jeopardize what little they had so quickly. And she didn’t even know if Y/N liked girls, let alone if she was the slightest bit interested in Lena!

Lena’s perfectly fine with falling in love from afar right now. She’s content with staring at Y/E/C eyes, or secretly reveling in the beauty she saw on her wash days, dripping with water in all its curly glory. She was fine with going to sleep wondering what it what feel like to have her right next to her, deep in a peaceful slumber. She was okay with suffering in gay silence.

For now.

It was another day at work for Lena, taking orders and wiping down tables when a chime came from the entrance. She put on her best fake smile and prepared to say the tired out greeting. Flattening out her apron she looked up.

“Welcome to Brainy’s! How may I he- Y/N? What are you doing here?” Y/N smiled, gripping her bag a little tighter.

She smirked. “Are you not happy to see me, Ms. Luthor?” Lena rolled her eyes playfully.

“You know I always am Ms. Y/L/N. I just wasn’t expecting you is all.” Lena straightened out her posture, placing her hands on the register. “What brings you? More homework?”

Y/N laughed and shook her head. Lena’s head was spinning.

“Nope, still on winter break! I just figured I’d pop up and pay you a visit! If that’s alright…” Y/N tilted her head towards Lena, her face changing, almost like she was beginning to regret popping up. Maybe she wasn’t as close to Lena as she thought she was.

Lena recognized this and shook her head dismissively. She was thinking of me. She. Was thinking. Of me. “Of course it’s alright! As long as you don’t waiting for awhile before my break.” Lena looked at the clock. 11:57. 1 hour to go.

“I don’t mind.” Y/N raised the bag that hung across her shoulder. “I brought some music theory and compositions with me. Can I get my usual please?” She rocked up on her toes, shiny a pleasing smile (Lena’s head was really spinning) before reaching into her bag to grab her wallet.

“Sure. But you don’t need that.” Lena turned her back to go and start making a Brainiac Boost Latte, the machine whirring as Lena added the ingredients.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s on the house, as always.” Y/N was the one the roll her eyes this time.

“Oh come on, Lena. You never let me give you things. While you always get me things, buy things for me. Why can’t I do the same?”

Lena shrugged, taking the cup off the machine and placing a lid over it. “Maybe I just like spoiling you.”

Lena was glad that her back was turned, because that did not mean to slip out of her mouth.

“Well, what if I wanna spoil you, too? Can’t I?” Lena wasn’t expecting that one either. But she didn’t let it show as she turned back around and gave Y/N her drink. “Isn’t that my right?”

Lena thought and let it sink in before she shrugged again. “I suppose.”

“Thank you.” Y/N handed Lena $10, walking away quickly and sitting at the table right next to the counter.

That wasn’t her usually spot, but at least she wasn’t at a booth, Lena surmised.

There was a comfortable silence between the two. Lena was working, doing her usual, and Y/N would occasionally ask Lena questions to cease the quiet. This time it was about music.

“Do you have a favorite genre of music, Lena?” Y/N lifted her head up to watch Lena wipe away at the counters.

“Classical is up there. Always been a sucker for a good composition.” Y/N smiled, eyes slanting.

“Do you have a favorite composer? Besides me, of course.” Lena stopped her wiping, shining a signature smirk at Y/N.

“I mean you are number one on my list. But Riopy and Mozart are a close second.”

“Hm,” Y/N hummed. “Maybe your mind is greater than I thought.” Lena chuckled.

“Why do you say that?”

“No reason, I just love both of them too. Not many people appreciate Classical.”

“That’s true.” Lena paused. “I’ve always been a sucker for country too!”

Lena wasn’t ready for the way Y/N’s eyes lit up and she bounced in her seat. “Oh my god! Me too! So many people talk shit about it, and I don’t understand it.”

“Their minds aren’t as great as ours.” Lena glances at the clock, feeling giddy when she saw that it was indeed her lunch break. “Great minds do think alike, after all.”

They fall back into silence as Lena sits across from Y/N at the table. She has her art supplies, sketchbook, pencil, the whole lot. She isn’t really hit with anything to draw, that us until her eyes fell onto Y/N.

There’s something about the energy that Y/N radiates that makes Lena so inspired. She wants to capture it with her pencil, put it on paper so everyone could see what she sees. (Okay maybe not, because she doesn’t want anyone else falling in love with her Y/N. That would thoroughly complicate things.)

Lena’s in love frustrated. How do I say I want to draw you without saying I want to draw you?

By saying it, dum dum.

Oh, shut up.

“Hey Y/N?” Lena leans in a little, glancing at her work.

Y/N doesn’t lift her eyes as she mutters a ‘hm?’ in response. She’s too focused. Lena made sure to add ‘Y/N’s focused face’ in her mental archives. “Would you mind if I drew you?” There’s a stutter in Y/N’s movements. Lena’s mind goes in overdrive with anxiety.

“I- Its just that your hair…its so beautiful.” Creep much?  “A-and I need practice on drawing different textures and facial features. I don’t want my art to be whitewashed and bland, I need…..a pop of color.”

Y/N snickers and Lena wrings her hands, nervous that she totally fucked up.

“What?”

“I know that wasn’t a black joke but the irony got me,” Y/N finally looks up, the sides of her eyes in crinkles as she tries to hold in her laugh. “Go ahead.”

Lena laughs and goes to a fresh new page. “You don’t have to like… look at me or anything, just do what you’re doing.”

Lena begins drawing. Starting with Y/N’s face: Heart shaped, round, perfect for her hands. She got the way Y/N her lip in concentration. She smirked when she licked her lips, knowing that Y/N was growing anxious with Lena’s eye on her. Then her hair, the way a pink bandana holds it back, taming it’s glory nature. She left the bandana out, though. She didn’t want Y/N to be tamed. She wanted her to be loose, carefree. She wanted to look at the way Y/N laughed and groaned when the strands of her hair got caught in her lip gloss. Or not care when her hair got wet after she had just straightened it. She wanted Y/N: uncensored, unfiltered, unedited.

It didn’t take long for Lena to finished her sketch. She committed every stroke to her memory, knowing for certain that this wouldn’t be the last time she drew the brown beauty sitting across from her.

Y/N was writing the last of her notes when she heard the incessant sound of the pencil on paper come to a slow halt. The sound of the long sigh fell from Lena’s lips, making her lift her head.

“Are you done?” She asked. Lena’s eyes met her own, a smile coming onto her face.

“Yeah. You wanna see?” An eye roll.

“Duh, Luthor. I gotta see how pretty you made me.” You’re already the prettiest, how could I improve something that’s already so perfect?

Lena keeps her mouth shut, grabbing her book and flipping it to show Y/N. Y/N is taken aback when she sees it, sees her. She’s drew…so meticulously. Every detail is there, every wrinkle, curve; Lena didn’t miss a thing. It looks exactly like her. Except, the Y/N on paper looks different, more serene and undisturbed.

“Is that how you see me?” Y/N asks after a while. Her eyes are staring at Lena, heart racing and cheeks hot. “So…angelic?”

“Well angels are angelic, Y/N. It’s kind of implied.” Lena quips. Y/N just smacks her lips and shoves Lena a little, forcing a chuckle out of her.

“Well, thank you. You’re really talented, Lena. This looks beautiful.” Lena shrugs and hands the drawing over to Y/N (She’s already taken a picture).

“No need to thank me. I didn’t do much. Your face is already like that, I just put it on paper.” Y/N giggles as she declines it. She wants Lena to keep it. A beautiful piece like that doesn’t need to get messed up at her grandmother’s house.

The rest of their time together is spent laughing at Y/N’s terrible attempts at drawing. She tried to draw a dog, which oddly turned out to look like an alligator. Then a baby, which ended up as a dog. And then a fruit, you don’t even want to know how that turned out.

“Don’t laugh, we all know art isn’t my thing. I just wanted to see how much I was working with.”

“Apparently not much.” Lena mumbled under her breath.

“Hey! I heard that.” Y/N laughs.

“Oops?” Another eye roll is giving before Lena glances back at the clock, her break over with.

“Well, I have to head back. This was quite a pleasant time.” Lena stands up as Y/N does, wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug.

“Thank you,” Y/N utters as her face is in Lena’s shoulder. “I always have the best times when I’m with you.”

Lena feels the rush of pride through her veins. It doesn’t go away, instead it’s inflated when that new but warm feeling of love comes it. Lena welcomes them both, head cloudy as she walks out the door, a promise to text her on her lips.

She needs to kiss her.

v.

The air is even colder than the last time Y/N was here, if not colder. White lines appeared on her hands when she scratched them, a clear indicator that it was way too cold for her to be outside.

The sun had just set, it’s red-orange light beamed on her as she walked towards the entrance, keys in hand.

She walks in, a bit more smiley and pep in her step. Lena doesn’t notice, she’s too busy cleaning up the mess that James had just made. He’d locked a cup into the machine and forgot how to unlock it. Needless to say, he’s stuck on busboy duty for a while.

Lena had just tossed the rag back into the bucket. An exhausted sigh fell out of her mouth when she walked up to the counter, not even lifting her head up just yet.

“It looks like you need the pick-me-up latte this time.” Lena subconsciously snapped her head up, an immediate smile spreading across her lips.

“Y/N!” Lena beamed. “Hey, how are you?” She quickly lets her eyes scan over Y/N’s body: a cute, fluffy blue sweater with black slacks (that hugged her curves in just the right way), fit black flats and a silver hat snug on the top of her head. She looks likes a princess and Lena melts, quite literally.

Y/M shoved her hands into her pockets, rocking on her tiptoes and trying not to fluster at the way Lena’s eyes were locked into hers.

“I’m doing alright. You?”

Lena huffed out a small laugh. Typing on the screen in front of her. “As best as I can be. I hope you don’t have to work today. It’s Christmas Eve!”

Y/N smiled to herself. Lena didn’t know that though, so when her bright white teeth caught Y/N’s eye, she nearly fainted.

“I actually don’t! Classes ended last week, but it’s not like I had anyone to celebrate it with anyways.” She shrugs. Lena feels bad.

“Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bring it up. I’m over it anyways.” Lena doesn’t believe that. She lets it go, though, when Y/N shakes her head, dismissing the cute brunette with crystal eyes across from her.

“Of course you didn’t! I know that. Don’t worry about it.” Lena suddenly gets an idea in her head. Invite the pretty girl over for Christmas! Give her a present, tell her how you fell. Okay, maybe that last part was a bit…premature.

There’s a silence again. That silence. The silence that makes Lena want to close down the shop and kiss Y/N until the sun comes up.

“Spend Christmas with me.” Okay, Lena most definitely did not mean for that to come out of her mouth. Not like that at least. Y/N sputters, there’s practically smoke covering out of her ears. Lena blushes like hell.

“I mean! M-My friends and I, we have this thing we do every year, we call it friendsmas. It basically just a second Christmas, but with your friends!” Lena feels this sudden wave come over her. Was that…nervousness? Oh god.

“You’re welcome to come. I’m sure they would love you.” I do. “No one should have to spend Christmas alone.” Especially a beautiful woman like you.

Get a fucking grip, Luthor.

Y/N rocks back and forth on her toes. She’s playing with her fingers and avoiding Lena’s eyes.

“I- I don’t know. I mean I wouldn’t know anyone and I wouldn’t have a gift-”

“Just bring food.” Lena interrupts. “Literally anyone would be happy with food. They are greedy.” They both chuckle. “Only if you’re up for it, though. I would hate for you to feel uncomfortable. It’s completely your choice.” Though it would make my year if you came.

Y/N shrugs and rearranges her bag. “I’ll think about it. Anyways! I wanted to know what time you were off. There’s this cool new ice skating thingy at the lake and I wanted to know if you wanna go check it out.”

Hey! Let’s go on a date! You’re really pretty inside and out and I don’t ever wanna leave your side. Y/N didn’t say that, Lena knows.  But she really wishes she did. Was this a date? Could it actually be possible that Y/N returned Lena’s feelings?

She just smiled through her thoughts, reaching behind her to take off her apron. “I’m off now, actually. Cal is already here, and of course I would love to go.”

They walked outside together. Y/N didn’t have a car, and she assumed Lena didn’t either, so she thought they were going to walk. It wasn’t until she felt a warm hand grasping hers and pulling her towards the parking lot did she realize she was wrong.

Lena pulled Y/N along, trying to memorize the way her hand felt. It was soft, smooth, but she could feel the calloused fingertips on her skin, a result of endless hours of music practice.

Y/N’s eyes bulged out of her head when they got to Lena’s car. “Wow! This car is….” “Cool?”

“Hot!” That made Lena smirk, walking over to the passenger door. She held the door open for Y/N and closed it when she was in.

They drove in basic silence the whole ride there, the good silence. It was almost natural for Lena to grab Y/N’s hand as they approached the door. She noticed her uneasiness. Maybe it was because Lena was holding her hand and she didn’t want her to. Maybe it was because it was Lena, the girl she has been wanting to kiss since she was her. Maybe it was because Y/N wanted to blurt out i like you! Into the expanse of the car, but couldn’t find the courage.

Whatever it was, it made Y/N grip Lena’s hand tighter.

When Y/N and Lena got into the rink, they were both apprehensive, though the presence of one made the other feel better. And the scenery, oh, God the scenery. They had never seen anything so peaceful. A giant Christmas tree sat behind the rink, lights wrapped all around them. Music was playing loud enough to sing along, but soft enough to keep the merry energy. Kids, friends, parents, lovers were all skating around. Laughs were heard – the sound of making memories with the ones you loved most. Y/N wanted to feel what they felt. Lena wanted to give Y/N that feeling.

Lena didn’t tell Y/N that she hated the cold, and Y/N didn’t tell Lena that she didn’t know how to skate, but they sucked it up to be in each other’s presence.

“Are you ready?” Lena was trying her best to hold in her laughter. Y/N was clinging onto the side rail, wobbly in her skates and shivering. She wasn’t even on the ice yet. She was in the entryway, scared to take the first step.

“Um, not really. I changed my mind.” She tried to bargain. “Let’s just watch christmas movies inside instead.”

Lena grabbed Y/N by the waist, easing her onto the ice. They stayed still for a bit, Lena keeping them upright when Y/N lost her balance. “I won’t let you fall.” Y/N trusted her.

And so they skated, skated for two hours. Lena teaching Y/N how to keep her balance, and Y/N giving Lena some warmth every time she failed and fell right on top of her. It was a win-win situation.

They ended up sitting on the ice (Y/N fell and didn’t feel like getting back up. Lena got down for moral support) as the fireworks were being set off.

Lena looked over at Y/N when it happened; white, green, and red illuminating across brown skin. She swore she had never seen anyone more beautiful. Y/N’s nose was a bit red, her hands clammy as she blew into the, to keep them warm. The wind blew her hair back a little when the fireworks started, big Y/E/C eyes shining brighter than the lights. Her skin was glowing. Lena knew that in that moment she was going to kiss her. She didn’t know when, but she was certain she wasn’t going to wait longer than she had to.

Y/N leaned into Lena, trying to save body heat. “Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?” She asked. “I’ve never felt so…calm.” She turns to Lena after a moment, smiling brightly. “Thank you, Lena. Thank you for everything.”

Y/N moves completely on top of Lena, arms wrapping around her neck and she hugs the Luthor tight. Lena hugs back, obviously, rubbing her back and rocking them lightly. “You’re so welcome, sunshine.”

They move from the hug, but stay in close proximity of each other. After a while, they get too cold. They return their skates, grab their things and get back in the car. Two hours of cold and skating really makes you hungry, so Lena suggest Big Boy’s. Y/N, a lover of anything food, just agrees. This ride is filled with that silence too, Y/N grasping Lena’s hand.

They eat in the car. Lena paid, obviously. And when their down Lena drives Y/N back to her grandmother’s. Lena gets out the car and walks Y/N up to the door, the same spot the first time Lena wondered what Y/N’s lips tasted like.

“Did you have fun?” Y/N chuckles.

“I should be the asking you that. I’m the one that invited you. But yes, yes I did. I had the most fun I’ve ever had.” That seems to be a recurring thing whenever she’s around Lena, Y/N notices. “Thank you.”

They were silent for a few seconds, Lena tested the air. It was identical to the one last time. The same pull, same mutual desire. She could feel it. They had most definitely went on a date.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow? Will you text me the address?” Lena stared at Y/N confused for a second, but then she quickly figured out that Y/N was referring to friendsmas.

“I’ll do you one better. Let me pick you up? 7-ish?” Y/N nodded, her hands going to her back pockets. Lena was just itching to replace Y/N’s hands with hers.

“Yeah. Is there a special attire or something?”

‘Not really.” She wanted to say that Y/N looked beautiful everything so it doesn’t matter, but this time she….actually did? The blush on Y/N’s face and the small thank you that left her lips was evident enough. She actually did it!

Lena was feeling like hot shit now. “If you want, you can bring extra clothes and stuff too. We usually end up staying the night since it’s just us. But if you don’t feel comfortable, I can drive you back home.”

Y/N shook her head. No, it’s fine. I can stay, you’ll be there right? All night?”

Lena nodded. “All night and into the very late morning. I won’t leave you, sunshine. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Y/N giggled.

“Darn it! So close!” Y/N joked. Lena’s carried more weight than either of them realized. Lena meant it, she knew it and was sure Y/N knew it, since there was a smile on her face. There goes that silence again.

“Well! I guess it’s settled then. I promise you’ll love them and they’ll love you even more. Hopefully it’ll feel like home to you.” Hopefully I’ll feel like home to you.

“Thank you, a lot Lena. Really.” Y/N stands on her tiptoes, going to hug Lena for the last time that night, and pressing her lips to the corner of Lena’s mouth for the first. Y/N didn’t see the blush on Lena’s lips, thank God. She slipped in the house before Lena could open her eyes. 

vi. [versus 1]

It’s Christmas! Lena wakes up smiling to herself, it’s the happiest she’s ever been. She doesn’t have any immediate family, Lillian is still in jail and her brother is…..her brother. She took the majority of her day to do some last minute shopping. She prepped some food and did her laundry.

She spend most of her day shopping for Y/N, though. She had to make sure that this day was perfect for her, which includes the perfect gift. She remembered you talking about how you loved music and time you spent the whole time studying music. She also remembers how beautiful Y/N  looked, she had the portrait to prove it. Y/N told her that she wanted to play music more often, piano specifically, she just didn’t have a piano to play it on.

After she took her shower and ate some food, she made her way to the highest rated music store in national city. Lena knew that Y/N’s confession wasn’t a cry for pity, Y/N hated pity. She wasn’t trying to guilt trip Lena into buying her instruments, she just felt comfortable enough to tell Lena these things. That doesn’t mean Lena wasn’t going to buy you one anyways.

“Hi! Welcome! Do you need help in finding anything?” An employee greeted Lena as she walked into the store. She smiled, shifting in her shoes.

“Yes actually, I’m doing some last minute shopping and I was wondering where you keyboards were.” Justin, the associate, smiled.

“Yes! Right this way.” Justin led Lena to the back of the store, immediately they were surrounded by piano keys. “Were you looking for full size or partial?”

“Full size. Which one is the closest to an actual grand?”

“That would be…..” Justin trailed walking around. Lena followed. “This one right here, Yamaha Arius YDP-143. It’s one of the newest, digital but has everything that an acoustic piano would have: weighted keys, pedals, the lot.” Lena nodded her head, satisfied.

“That’ll work, thank you. ” She watched as Justin called another associate to assist in bringing the keyboard to the front.

Lena picked the one that looked the best: Black, sleek, pretty. Just like Y/N, she thought. She mentioned that she would like your name engraved at the top, and made her way to check out.

Meanwhile, Y/N was out buying something for Lena. Art was her favorite, Y/N knew that much. Lena probably had every art supply there way, so she wasn’t even sure the gift would mean anything to Lena. I mean, look at her car: freaking immaculate.

She bought them anyways though. Easel, paint, brushes, pencils of all sorts, it was safe to say Y/N was officially broke. She left that store and went to another, buying ingredients for Empanadas, fruit salad and brownies. She wasn’t going to show up empty handed. She needed to make a good impression, she needed to stop wallowing in her grandmother’s sun room being lonely, and she needed to put herself out there. She was thankful Lena had given her the opportunity.

Y/N wrapped the easel, paint, and brushes carefully. She spent a lot of money on these and would be damned if they got messed up before she could even give them to Lena. She prayed that Lena would like these.

The hours fly by and Lena is trying to get dressed, trying being the key word. She was freaking out. She dropped the gift at Kara’s place in advanced, it was too big of a gift to just hide in the trunk, you know. Besides Kara was a doll and lifted it with ease.

She’s stressed out over her outfit. She has to pick an outfit that says look at m e! but not one that says look at me! …Lena was having a hard time understanding it herself.

There was so much she wanted to do tonight: introduce Y/N to her friends, make her happy, hopefully she’ll make friends, hopefully she’ll like the gift, confess feelings and kiss her! She really, really wanted to kiss her. With consent of course, but what better day than the day of love and giving.

She decided to go with something simple, black jeans and cute Christmas sweater. She had simple black boots on and her hair was straightened down her back. When it’s getting close to 6:45 she pulls out her phone and texts Y/N.

hey, sunshine. i’m on my way. be there in 15 x

Y/N was sitting on the porch when Lena pulled up, way too anxious to just be sitting in the house. She smiled when she saw the white Tesla in her driveway. She picked up the art materials first, wrapped in pink and yellow paper. It wasn’t the best since Y/N hasn’t had a Christmas in a while, but it was decent.

Lena jumps out to help Y/N with the gifts, giving her a kiss on the cheek when they met each other. Lena doesn’t dare ask what it is and who it’s for, she just slides it in the backseat.

Y/N runs back and grabs the containers of food and gets in the car, Lena closing it behind her. Y/N bounces her leg up and down, shaking her hands out. Lena takes her seat, putting the car into drive.

“Ready?” She asks.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Y/N smiles weakly, her leg bouncing faster. Lena notices and nudges Y/N’s shoulder.

“You’ll be fine, Y/N. I promise. None of them bite. And if they do….bite them back.” They both laugh at that, Y/N rubbing her hands over her thighs.

“I know, I’m just a little nervous is all. Thank you again for inviting me, Lena. It means a lot.”

Lena scoffs playfully as she stops at a red light. “Stop thanking me, Y/L/N. There’s no need. Just relax, feel the moment, be happy.” Y/N exhales a deep breath, trying to follow Lena’s instructions.

It wasn’t long before they got to the party. As soon as the door was opened, a blonde girl with glasses smiled and gave her a big hug.

“You must be Y/N! It’s so nice to meet you! Lena talks about you nonstop!” Lena shot Kara a whatthefuckwhywouldyousaythat look.

“It’s great to meet you too, Kara.”

They stepped inside and Y/N was immediately greeted by everyone. She met Winn who was dating James. Alex who was dating Maggie. Cal, who’s she seen a few time at the cafe, was dating Nia. She felt at home right away, they were laughing and giggling. Christmas music played in the background.

Y/N was dancing around with Alex when she heard her name being called. “Please tell me you’re coming over for  game night.” Her voice was muffled, a warm Empanada in her mouth.

“Yeah! These brownies are freaking delicious! Not too much chocolate, not too bitter. Perfect.” Winn.

Y/N blushed. They actually wanted her to come.

“You guys only like her for her food, so shallow.” Maggie came over and wrapped her arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “She should come back because she’s so great to be around, idiots.” Maggie turned to Y/N. “Seriously kid, you’re like a breath of fresh air.”

Y/N only muttered out a small thank you and sure before Nia came and demanded to give gifts. She zoned for the most part of that, she was too nervous about whether Lena would like her gift or not. If she would say thanks, but no thanks. Or be disappointed that she didn’t anything better.

“Okay! Lena your turn.” Y/N broke herself out of her thoughts. She forced herself up and walked over to the tree. “These are for you, it’s not much but I hope you like it.”

Lena gasped to herself. Y/N got her a gift? She wasn’t expecting that. Tears sprang to her eyes when she opened the gift. She’d been wanting these paints and brushes for months. She never got them because she figured she had other things to worry about.

“I love it, Y/N.” Lena got up to hug the girl that was literally quaking in her boots, well… fuzzy socks. She squeezed tighter when she felt a breath of relief coming from Y/N’s mouth.

“I actually have a gift for you too, but it’s in the other room.” No one paid them any mind as they walked to the guest room, they just finished exchanging gifts. Lena stopped right before the door, telling Y/N to cover her eyes.

“Why? You aren’t going to kill me, right?”

“Of course not, too many witnesses.” Lena smirked and Y/N laughed. She covered her eyes, goosebumps raising on her skin as Lena led her inside.

“Okay…. Open!” Y/N let her hands fall, eyes widening like little moons when she saw the keyboard box. She immediately teared up.

“You didn’t.” Lena stepped next to Y/N, a light smile on her face.

“I did.”  Y/N stammered, looking between Lena and the box on the floor.

“Lena you… You can’t be serious.”

“I am.”

“I can’t take this.” Lena frowns and steps in front of Y/N.

“Why not?” She asked. “You deserve it, more than anyone I know.” Lena steps closer, invading Y/N’s personal space. She could feel Y/N breath as she looked up at her.

“You’ve already done so much for me, I….I don’t wanna seem like a moocher.” Lena chuckled at Y/N use of words. She feels a surge of confidence flood her veins.

“You aren’t a moocher, sunshine. You’re just a pretty girl that I wanna spoil and give the world to.” Her hand came up to cup Y/N’s face, heart swelling when Y/N leans into her touch.

This is the moment, the one Lena has been waiting for. Where that air is flowing around them, entrapping the two in their own bubble.

Lena takes a deep breath and places her other hand on Y/N’s cheeks. She feels her heart race as Y/N looks up at her with those big Y/E/C eyes, full of wonder and curiosity. Lena continues.

“From the first moment I laid my eyes on you, the girl with the best hair and the smoothest brown skin I have ever seen. All stressed out. It broke my heart seeing you like that, and I knew I would do everything to make you feel safe, happy, protect you. And when you spoke, and showed me your heart time and time again. I know that this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Can you let me do that?”

Lena can tell that Y/N is processing her words. Her eyes move all around Lena’s face. Lena knew she was looking for any sign of hesitation, insincerity, anything that would lead to believe that this was all a joke, too good to be true. But when she didn’t find any she nodded her head, leaning herself more into Lena’s hands.

“Can I kiss you?” Lena asked. Y/N stared and nodded again. As soon as their lips touched, there were fireworks. Y/N was shy, so Lena took her hands and placed them on her shoulders. She felt Y/N grip them and  pull herself closer, almost like she was just know coming to her senses. Lena’s hands went back to Y/N’s cheeks, squishing her cheeks.

They pulled away when it was hard to breathe. Y/N immediately giggled and hide her face. Lena smiled. “Are you okay? Was that okay?” Y/N nodded.

“I’m fine and that was more than okay.” She smiled up at Lena, like a happy puppy.

“There’s something else.” Lena squinted. Y/N ducked her head again, covering her face it her hands. Her words were muffled.

“What?”

“That was my first kiss.” Lena’s eyes widened. She was glad Y/N didn’t see, that would’ve been bad. Instead, she put on a sly smile, wrapping her arms around Y/N.

“Well, I hope your first kiss wasn’t too bad.” Y/N looked from her position on Lena’s chest.

“It was great, really great.”  She smiled. “Just….why the keyboard?”

“Every future famous composer needs one, right? Rather sooner than later.”

“But….” Y/N cringed at house broke she was. “It’s fucking expensive.”

“I would’ve gotten you a baby grand, I just didn’t wanna scare you away.” Lena panicked. “I hope this didn’t scare you away.” Y/N shook her head.

“This most definitely didn’t, it did the opposite.” Y/N took a chance and stood on her toes to press a kiss to Lena’s lips again, smiling widely.  “Thank you, you can’t expect me to not say it when you spent two-thousand dollars on me.”

Lena just laughs. “Fine, I’ll let it slide. You’re worth it, sunshine.”

bonus!

It’s raining when Lena hears a knock on her door. She didn’t know it was a knock at first, it was 2am and raining cats and dogs, she couldn’t decipher much.

All she had been caring about was why her girlfriend (it feels so good for her to say that) hadn’t texted her back in a few days. Lena wasn’t clingy, no, she was protective, worried. She wanted her baby safe, and understood that sometimes she couldn’t spend her days wrapped up in Y/N. Clingy was not a word Lena associated herself with.

Y/N usually texted back relatively fast. There were moments when she was driving or cleaning or working that delayed her response by a bit. But Lena would always get a reply – whether it be a full blown text or a simple emoji to let Lena know she was alright – there was always something. It had been two days, and Lena was starting to lose her mind.

“Alright! I’m coming, Jesus!” The person banged on her door again, more frantic. Lena yanked the door open, ready to eat into whoever it was ass.

“What the fuck is your problem? Baby? Oh my god what are you doing!? Get in here!” A wide eyed Lena ushered a shivering Y/N into her house. She immediately led Y/N to her room, helping her get rid of her wet clothes.

“I’m- I’m sorry for not texting you back. There was just so much going on and my grandmother-” Y/N had choked up on her words and Lena immediately dropped her spare clothes, pulling Y/N’s body into her own. She couldn’t care less about the fact that her girlfriend was naked, all Lena cared about was the fact that she was shaking with sobs. This reminded Lena of the first time she held Y/N in her arms as she cried, she hated it then, and she hated it now. No one deserves to be this hurt, especially not her baby.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Lena said. She immediately assumed the worse when Y/N wrapped her arms around Lena’s neck, face burying deep into her shoulder as she cried even harder.

Lena felt her heart clench. Tears sprang to her eyes as she laid on her back, Y/N on top of her as she rubbed her back. Y/N’s hair was still wet, it was probably going to get matted without a proper detangling but Y/N didn’t care and neither did Lena.

“It’s gonna be alright, baby. It’s gonna be alright, I promise.” Lena shushed.

A few minutes later her cries died down. Y/N held onto Lena with a vice grip, her face still in her neck.

“I’m a good person, right?”

“Of course, the best. Why do you ask?”

Y/N lifted her head and Lena’s heart broke and she gazed into her girlfriend’s red eyes. She had never seen Y/N so….defeated, like a child who no longer had anyone to guide them, take care of them.

“Why do bad things always happen to me?” Tears fell from your eyes. “What did I ever do that warrants me to keep getting hurt like this?”

“You know what they say, baby. The world’s toughest soldiers fight the world’s toughest battles.” She frowned as she held Y/N’s face, her thumb rubbing in circles.

“Well I may not be that strong, I feel like I’m ready to break.” Y/N sighed and laid her head back down on her girlfriend. “Hell, I’m already cracking at the edges.”

“Well, it looks like I’m gonna have to be the E6000 to make sure you don’t.” Y/N chuckled. She didn’t say anything, just played with Lena’s figured and yawned a few times.

“I told my grandmother about us.” If Lena wasn’t searching for Y/N’s voice she wouldn’t have caught it, she was speaking so soft. Lena looked down at Y/N, brushing the hair from her forehead.

“Yeah?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, I wish I hadn’t though. Maybe then I’d still have a place to live.” Lena stopped, a sudden rage flooding her veins as she processed Y/N’s words.

“Y/N….” Lena began.

“Yeah she did it. She kicked me out. I couldn’t even process what she said afterwards, I was just so… shocked. My own grandmother, the same grandmother that said I was her favorite and she would love me no matter what. Just….poof.”

Lena didn’t say anything this time. Trying to calm her anger before she said something she regretted. It wasn’t about her, it was about the angel with broken wings laying on her chest. She got herself together.

“I’m sorry, baby.” She kissed Y/N’s head. “I know how hard that is.” Y/N hugged Lena closer.

“Yeah, she hasn’t even met you and she made these dumb assumptions. It was crazy.” Y/N sat up suddenly. “And she told me I could stay if we broke up.” An eye roll.

Panic settled in Lena’s body. “And what did you say?”

“I told her tough shit.” Whew. “There’s no way I’m gonna ruin the best thing in my life because she’s a shitty grandmother and can’t accept the fact that I like girls. That’s not my problem.”

Lena rubbed her hands along Y/N’s side. “I’m the best thing in your life?” She smirked and Y/N leaned in, pressing her lips to Lena’s.

“Without a doubt. You’re the only one that hasn’t left yet, and you make me happier than I ever thought I would be. I lo-” She stopped herself, Lena needed her to keep going. “Thank you.”

“What did I tell you about all those thank you’s? It’s nothing at all. And I’m never going to leave you if I have anything to say about it. As long as you want me, I’m gonna be here.” She kissed Y/N again, pressing into her girlfriend’s hips and smiling at the sigh that fell into her mouth.

“Do you think you could help me find a place?” Y/N asked as they pulled away. “I wanna be out of there in 2 weeks tops.”

Lena smiled. “I could have you in a new place by tomorrow.” Y/N rolled her eyes and laughed at her overachieving girlfriend.

“And where would that be, Ms. Luthor?” She rested her hands on Lena’s stomach.

“You’re already in it, Ms. Y/L/N.” A smile took over Y/N’s face.

“Wow, I didn’t  peg you to be a U-Haul babe.”

“Oh, shut up.” Laughter fell from Lena’s lips as she pinched Y/N’s thigh. That made Y/N laugh, her head lulling back.

“Seriously though, you’d let me move in? Are you ready for that?”

“Baby I have been ready for you to move in since I first spoke to you.” Okay maybe she was a U-Haul. “I was serious when I said my door was always open for you.”

“So you weren’t just saying that to get my number?” Y/N squinted.

“It wasn’t the motivator of my intentions, no. That was just a bonus.” Y/N giggled.

“Are we going to be living together?”

“If you want to be, my love. It’s up to you. If you’re not ready, then first thing in the morning we can go apartment hunting.” Lena sat up herself, wrapping her arms around Y/N’s middle and kissing her chest.

Y/N grabbed Lena’s face to kiss her once again. She pulled Lena as close as possible.

“I think I’m ready. ‘Honey, I’m home!’ is going to sound great coming out my mouth.” Lena smiled brighter than ever, wrapping her arms around Y/N tighter.

“I can’t wait to hear it, baby.” Lena really couldn’t. She couldn’t wait to wake up with Y/N every morning. It didn’t even have to be in the same bed, just knowing that her girlfriend, her baby, her everything was going to be within a 500 foot radius was enough. Getting to cuddle when it’s cold, eat breakfast food together at 3pm, seeing her damn beautiful face was enough. It was everything to Lena.

“I know that you hate when I say thank you but I have to.” Y/N looked into Lena’s eyes. “Everything you’ve done for me, out of nothing but genuine want and need. For being my safe place when I didn’t have one. Being my calm when I was spiraling. Being my sunshine when all I could see was darkness, it means more than you know.”

“You don’t have to s-”

“Thank you, Lena. Thank you, a latte.” Y/N started at Lena for a few seconds before she burst into a fit of giggles. “Do you get it? Because I would always get a Latte, and it sounds like a lot, but it’s latte.” Lena laughed along with her girlfriend, she’s in love with a complete dork.

“I get it, baby.” She kissed Y/N’s nose. “I love it. I love it so much but not as much as I love you.” Y/N’s eyes lit up at Lena’s words, smashing her lips onto her girlfriend’s.

Lena felt tears hit their lips. She knew they were Y/N’s, she knew they were happy tears. She could feel the sheer emotion transferring from her girlfriend to her and she knew Y/N loved her too.

Neither one of them has ever been this happy.

[mf-despair-queen]

Jigsaw Pieces - Chapter 4 - Mitch Rapp

Author: @mf-despair-queen​

Characters: Mitch Rapp/Reader

Word Count: 4,715

Summary: Mitch has changed since the in Ibiza. After some fearful words, Mitch disappears without notice. She’s determined to find him - no matter the cost.

Warnings: None Really?

Notes: JUST LET ME POST ALREADY TUMBLR. JFC

Eighteen Months Later…

Mitch changed.

After spending countless weeks in the hospital for his injuries, he was forced to undergo physical and mental rehabilitation. You couldn’t count how many times the doctors had called because he had awoken in the middle of the night screaming at the tops of his lungs from the trauma on the beach. You couldn’t count the number of times you saw him collapse from pain, the wound in his leg throbbing with unyielding agony. You couldn’t count the number of times you stood outside his hospital room, staring through the window at his broken figure, fingers running over the scar on his shoulder.

Yet, he never said a word of it to you. Not once did Mitch say anything about his pain or his distress, keeping a cold persona that made your skin crawl and your wrist ache.

After graduating with your masters, you moved down to Rhode Island with Mitch, despite his silent protests. He never actively pushed you away, but you couldn’t help feeling that he was trying to distance himself from you. Writing it off as part of his painful loss, you stayed with him, caring for him just as you always had.

Every night, you would show up at his apartment door, letting yourself in with the spare key he never complained that you had. He would be shirtless at his computer or in his bed, reading some book in which you weren’t sure the contents were. Every once in a while, you would find him knee deep in exercising, his fists pounding away at the punching bag hung up from his roof. His eyes, dark and mysterious, would glance up at you, never truly acknowledging your presence in his messy home. He would follow your form across the apartment until you found the kitchen, placing the groceries you got for him in his fridge, making dinner for the two of you.

He would grace you long enough to sit at the table for an awkward, silent meal, words rarely being shared. The clink of silverware against the plates filled the apartment, sometimes Mitch being preoccupied with a book. He never gazed at you for long, your eyes lefts to linger on his form, taking in the changes he had undergone in a year and a half.

His hair had grown out, the once shorted chocolate locks having grown out to something that was reminiscent of his high school days. The ends curled towards the roof unless they were wet with sweat or a shower. His luscious locks had lost some of its sheen, mirroring his depressed form. You only knew that it was the same fluffy locks he always had because he would sometimes fall asleep after dinner and you would sit with him, running your hands through his hair. It seemed to calm him, a wave of relaxation washing over you almost like you were able to feel his aura seeping through your system.

To add to the longer hair, the man had grown out his beard considerably. It felt like the first true sign that he was a man now, no longer the teen you went to highschool with. A thick brush of hair covered his lip, chin and cheeks, hiding the constellation of marks that were spread across his jawline. It saddened you that they were invisible to the naked eye as the hair got longer. Recalling the nights you could just say next to each other talking, you had counted the number of marks and moles he had strewn across his fair skin countless times, memorizing them without realizing it. Though, staring at him now, his slender digits stroking the length of his beard, tugging at the end strands

His body had changed. The fact that he strolled around his apartment shirtless helped you to admire his newly improved physique. His arms had bulked up from incessant training, the same veins you were used to running alone paled skin. His pecs had tightened, showing off his collarbone more pronouncedly. His shoulders had broadened with his increased muscle tone, his sheer strength of will resting on them. The thing that made you frown the most was the star that glared across the room on his shoulder - from either side - from the bullet wound he incurred. It was the bitter reminder of what had happened; it was the imperfection that seemed to keep him going.

The cold man sat across from you, you heart breaking at the sight. You never stopped caring; you never stopped loving him. If anything, you cared for him more than ever. From the time you saw him lying in the bed, broken and lost, you wanted to be there for him. And over time, as you watched him recover - watching him grow strong physically and mentally - you couldn’t help but feel your rapid heartbeat pounding against your ribcage, a clammy hand placed over it when you were alone. Your body burned, yearning to touch him, hold him and tell him things would be ok. You wanted to feel loved, even if it was a simple friendship once more.

The burning intensity that spread up your arm, however, worried you.

An uncomfortable knot typically sat inside you, something unsettling egging at your insides. Your mind screamed that something wasn’t right - that something was off. But what it was, you couldn’t say for sure. The only sign your had was the constant sizzle the ran through your veins, resembling adrenaline and determination that didn’t feel like your own. The source: the puzzle piece. Everything seemed to radiate from it and resting a hand over it at night, it felt like your skin was n fire under chilled, icy hands. Whenever your eyes fell upon Mitch, the burn seemed to increase, your thumping heart speeding up without the feeling of love.

Swallowing thickly one night, you placed your fork down with a loud clatter than caught Mitch’s attention for once. Dark whiskey eyes glanced up from his own food, a brow raising. Your hands fell into your lap, fingers fiddling together anxiously. Your eyes squeezed shut, unsure why you felt so nervous. It felt like it had been forever since you spoke to him. It felt like you hadn’t had a normal conversation with the Mitch you knew and loved. His gaze now felt like it was piercing your soul, your blood running cold. His warming presence now teetered over you, intimidating you with just a glance.

“Mitch,” you breathed, finally daring to look up at the man. “Are you ok?”

The question was honest, and you could see Mitch waver slightly at the sudden inquiry. His hand shook, the fork placed on the table slowly. His reddened lips pursed together, rubbing together in thought. His eyes narrowed before falling to the table, pondering whatever words he would spout off. Cocking your head to the side, you waited, no immediate answer coming. Your hand unconsciously rubbed at your irritated wrist, a sense of dread and anguish beginning to wash over you. Your lip quivered, eyes glistening with unshed tears you had withheld for years.

“Please,” you let out quietly, voice cracking under the weight of worry. “Please, Mitch. Just answer me honestly. I’m so worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” came his quick reply. His sultry voice made you shiver, the man returning his gaze to you across the table. A fire burned in his orbs. His hands curled into tightened fists, knuckles glowing a ghostly white from the tension. “I promise, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure-”

“Yes,” he cut you off, giving a small smile that screamed fakeness. “I promise, I’m fine. I will make things right, I swear.”

His words sparked a sense a distrust - a feeling you never thought you’d feel. Something felt off with the way he said it. Something wasn’t right because the mark imprinted in your skin burned hotter with determination. Yet, behind the fire was a cold wave that told you one thing.

Mitch lied about being fine.

But…

He wasn’t lying about making things right.

The words lingered in your mind ever since. You wanted to piece together what it meant. You were scared your friend - your crush - was going to do something he may regret one day. Nightmares plagued your mind of the reckless things he could attempt, the result always the same. He would lay on the ground in a pool of his own blood, the crimson liquid spreading out in every direction. Finally, it would settle around your feet, staining your bare feet. His lifeless eyes would bore into you, head giving a sickly crack as it tilted in the wrong direction in a zombie-like manner. His mouth would part, the same words making you scream yourself awake.

Why didn’t you help me? Why did you let me die?

In your state of panic, you began to use your days ff to tail the man. Taking note of his odd behavior as the fall and winter weather approached, you bundled in the warmest jacket you could find, a bean on your head and gloves on your hands while following him, keeping a safe distance so he wouldn’t pick up on your presence. His head occasionally would whip around, as if he felt eyes on him at all hours of the day.

You hid in a corner of the gym, sipping on a bottle of water while watching him wrestle and fist fight with the other men. Mitch seemed to be oblivious to your form watching over him, too focus on the punches he would throw, the kicks he laid and the aggressive grappling he had become fond of. One too many times, you saw how violent he would become, spinning his body around in a way that made his butt stick out in the black and red gym shorts. His legs would wind around a man’s torso, hands gripping at the shirt to begin choking the defenseless trainee. Only when they were red in the face and on the verge of passing out would Mitch be ripped away, his opponent gasping for air with the mumble of low curses under his breath.

The increased violence furthered your worry. Mitch could be a hard ass growing up, but before your eyes, this was new extreme. He seemed primed to kill, his sight gone red with one thought: fulfill the task at hand. Even in training, he seemed to be prepping for something, not caring who was in his way of becoming strong. His steps never tangled and his hands never wavered, the intent to end a life sickening.

Your head snapped up one cold afternoon, the straw of your coffee between your lips when you heard the yells of Carlos from the mats. The pen in your hand fell into your notebook, straightening up where you sat to see what was going on. Mitch was swiping his thumb across his nose, cheek red. His eyes had narrowed as Carlos’ booming voice carried.

“That’s it, Rapp. You’re done. Get out,” he told the sweaty man. Mitch glanced between the gym owner and the guy gasping for air on the ground, cursing out Mitch. Noticing he stood stagnant, Carlos’ voice raised, pointing at the door. “Get out!”

Mitch rolled his eyes, an air of annoyance exuding from him body. He reeked of it, not caring who knew he was pissed off. Ripping off the gloves, Mitch trotted to his belongings, removing the leg pads before pulling on his shoes. His hair stuck to his forehead, clothes clinging to his limbs. Whipping his jacket onto his shoulder, he stood from his seat, gym bag tight in hand.

“Have a nice fucking day,” was his bitter remark. You winced when the clang of the door banged open, Mitch disappearing into the cold while the door clattered shut.

Gathering your stuff, you rushed over to Carlos, giving him a sad smile. “I’m so sorry about him, Car. He’s just… he’s been on edge.”

Carlos sighed, rubbing his chin. “I know he’s your friend, but you can’t keep making excuses for him, Y/N.”

“What? I’m not-”

“Watch out for him,” Carlos said. “He’s going to get hurt with this reckless behavior. Or worse - he’ll get someone else killed. And I’d rather not hear that it’s you.”

You frowned, tightening your grip on your bag. You stared at the ground, biting at your lip. “He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I don’t know about that anymore.”

You left without another word, following Mitch to his next destination: the gun range. With every step you took, all you could think was, He would never do that.  

Walking down the packed street, you slid past people as fast as you could, trying to keep pace with the ever vigilant man. Your hands were stuffed in the pockets of your jackets, only pulling out glove-clad hands when you moved by people while uttering low apologies. Your eyes never left the man through the gaps in the crowd, a considerable gap to keep from being noticed.

Through the entire process of tailing your friend, you missed the shutter of a camera going off, a man in black clicking photo after photo of Mitch as he hastily sped his way down the Rhode Island streets of gray brick and cobblestone. The circle with a distinct crosshair narrowed on the man for a flurry of pictures before turning to you. The man in black taking the photos stared at the image of you he had captured, clicking the radio on his ear.

“Candidate is on the move to the gun range. The girl is on his tail.”

“Does she know anything?”

“I don’t think so. I think she’s just concerned.”

“Well, make sure she doesn’t pick up on his habits. If he makes a move, we can’t drag her into this.”

“Yes, ma’am, Director Kennedy.”

~

You didn’t know that the last time you would would see Mitch was that day at the gun range. You had stood worried near your coworker who agreed to cover for you as you watched Mitch. It started out normal: shot after shot making your ears ring, even through the noise cancelling headphones you were designated to wear in the pit. Each shot that was fired nailed its target, the paper cut out of a human being displaying holes in the head and chest.

The noise picked up when he swapped guns, the hand gun exchanged for a high powered rifle that struck through the air with a sickening crack. The constant ‘boom, boom, boom’ made you wince, watching the slaughter of the target in progress. Dust was flying, bullets hitting the wall behind the target as it was torn to shreds. People stopped at stare at the man you called your longtime best friend, his form unwavering and unflinching.

You stood from your seat in panic when the alarm sounded, blaring into your mind clearly. Each step into the gravel Mitch did made you heart jump, clammy hands gripping at the bottom of your shirt. After swapping guns again, the even more high powered pistol firing off into the air, Mitch was attacking other targets. When he moved forward, the gun dangled at his side, the former athlete swapping to a handheld pistol as if he were finishing off a target after he ran out of bullets.

You wanted to run after hi, hugging him from behind to stop him. But Jeremy held you back, shaking his head. Sadly, you were forced to watch Mitch get escorted from the premises.

You didn’t follow him after that. You headed home, soaked in a bath, and never heard from him again. He seemed to vanish, leaving nothing more than a note on his fridge door that said he was on a trip and not to worry about him. The words didn’t calm you, your worry building each day that passed. Phone calls went unanswered, going straight to voicemail after a while. Texts went unread, no reply attempted. No sign of life lingered in his apartment, the mess the same very time you walked in, walking back out immediately after. Dust was gathering on the surfaces. Mitch’s landlord asked every time you walked in what was going on.

All you could tell him was you didn’t know before passing him the payments Mitch neglected while he was away.

Sitting at work one afternoon, Wendy, you seatmate, slide over to you, leaning on her elbows as she eyed you. Her long black hair draped across her shoulders, tips brushing against the tabletop. Her dark eyes narrowed on your form, bright red lips pursed together. Manicured nails drummed against the polished table, the click clack making your nerves rattle. Amidst all of your stress, you were on edge from lack of sleep. Hearing her chair squeak when he shifted into a different position to stare at the side of your face, you let out a deep sigh, turning to her.

“Can I help you, Wen?”

“You look like you haven’t slept again,” she pointed out. Gesturing to her own face, she pointed out the spot just under her eyes. “Your make up didn’t cover the bags. And you look like you haven’t eaten. You’ve lost color in your cheeks.”

“Is my makeup really that bad that you can tell?” you huffed, pulling a mirror from your purse.

“Yes and no,” she mused. “I just know you that well. So, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you mumbled.

“You’re a horrible liar.”

You sighed again, letting your head fall to your lap. You hand instinctively rubbed at your wrist, feeling a brief sting of pain course through your body. It wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the shockwaves you had encountered, but it was rattling whenever the sudden feeling took over. Wendy watched on, waiting for you to answer.

“I’m just worried,” you admitted, eyes darting to her for a second. “Mitch hasn’t been home in over a month. He was he was on a trip, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of him. I’m scared something happened. The last time he left like this, he was shot in Ibiza. He hasn’t been the same since and I’m afraid that he went off to do something reckless. That he’s on some suicide mission.”

You wanted to tell her more. To tell her about the burning sensation that flowed through your veins like fire. To confess about the feelings you felt that weren’t your own: the sense of dissatisfaction that happened days after Mitch vanished, the anger that made your skin crawl, the shocks of pain that ripped through your body nights ago while a sense of determination and focus kept your eyes open. But, you knew she would think you crazy. It was like telling someone you could hear voices. It wouldn’t end well to say something.

“All he left was a note, right? Saying he would be away?”

“Yeah,” you murmured. “I’m sure he left it because he knew I would stop by. I-”

“You always do. I know,” she mused. “You care a lot for that man but it feels like he doesn’t care back.”

“No, he does,” you said, almost as if trying to convince yourself too. “He’s been my friend forever. So, whatever’s been going on - what’s been going through his mind - I don’t think he wants me involved. That’s why I’m afraid he’s going to do something reckless. He won’t tell me so I don’t try to butt in. He knows I will. I feel like he has some death wish.”

“Well, he’s stupid if he keeps pushing you away.”

“I…” you started, letting out a choked sigh. You were fighting back tears. “I don’t know why he’s fighting so hard against me. I know he’s been hurt and he lost Katrina, but all I’ve ever done is been there for him. And he keeps himself so sheltered now. I don’t understand what happened or why he’s being like this. Everything changed, Wendy…”

Wendy rubbed your back, giving a sad smile. “He’s a male. Males do dumb shit.”

“You can say that again.”

“As much as I hate the guy for making you feel so shitty, I want to say that he has good intentions. If you were as good of friends as you say, he must be doing this for a reason. He kept himself away maybe because he doesn’t want you to get hurt by something?” Wendy grinned, trying to lighten to mood. “Or, maybe deep down, he just loves you so much that he is afraid you will reject him.”

You let out a bitter laugh, unable to smile fully. Maybe he does care and he’s pushing me away because of it. Because of Katrina…

“How about you take the rest of today off?” Wendy proposed. Your brow rose at your friend, silently asking what she was talking about. “I will take care of the work you have to do today. You should go to his apartment and snoop around.”

“Snoop around?” you inquired.

“Have you ever actually looked around since he left?” she asked. When you shook your head no, she continued. “Maybe there is some clues around for where he went to what is going on.”

“Isn’t that an invasion of privacy?”

“You have a key to his apartment. It’s not like you are breaking in,” she claimed. “As far as I can see, it’s perfectly fine for you to look around.”

“I don’t know…”

“Y/N,” she cut you off. Her hands took yours, smoothing over the tops. “I know you care about him. I know you are worried. So, figure out where he went. It’s the only way to put your mind and heart at ease. Just look around. Maybe there is something there you never noticed. Something that’ll tell you what you need to know. Anything that helps, I want you to look for.”

You pouted for a second before nodding. “Fine.”

“Good,” she grinned. “Text me and keep me updated if anything happens.”

“I will. Thank you, Wen.”

You rushed from the office, headed straight for Mitch’s desolate apartment. Mr. Hazir nodded at you when you walked in, rushing up the stairs to the second floor where the apartment sat. Your hand shook with the key, making you stop to take a deep breath before sliding the key into the lock and twisting. The door clicked, squeaking open as you entered. The dark apartment made you grimace, the smell of old, sweaty clothes giving off a distinct musk wafting up your nose.

Your bag was left by the door as you wandered the apartment, searching for anything that may give you a clue to his unknown location. The punching bag swung lazily when your hand brushed against it, the chain rattling against the hook with its strained weight. His work out gear sat discarded on his ruffled bed sheets, training gloves and pads full frontal vision for you to see. Dust collected on your fingers when they were swiped along any surface, reassuring to his vacancy.

Sitting on the bed, you flicked your eyes through the apartment, straining to see if there was anything out of place that you weren’t used to seeing. “Where did you go?” you asked aloud, receiving no answer back. You sighed, laying back on his bed, feeling the cold sheets and blankets under your hand. “What are you up to, Mitch?”

Your throat tightened with unshed sobs and tears, choking back the sorrow you felt. You forced yourself to sit up, going through his drawers to find something - anything. Your mouth dropped at the sight of the multiple books on the Arabic language, culture and history you never truly realized he was reading. Balls of paper were in the waste bin near his bed, each one being a different article about the same person: Adnan Al-Mansur. The last article you picked up made you body quiver.

It was an news article about the attack in Ibiza.

“Mitch…” you whispered out, biting your lip.

Moving to his computer, your heart sunk further into your stomach. The keyboard was covered with a transparent keyboard with the Arabic alphabet. More books and papers were piled on either side of his laptop, adding to the confusion of what he was doing. Powering on the laptop, you were met with his login information, the password unknown. You sighed hopelessly, not wanting to attempt to break in. Instead, your fingers brushed across the keyboard, feeling warmth along your tips despite the cold plastic it felt. Your fingers moved like you were typing unsure what you were saying.

It just felt natural.

“What have you been doing?” you asked yourself. “I don’t get it. You’ve been learning Arabic, but for what?” You felt dread seeping in, not wanting to believe the following question. “Were you planning revenge on Mansur, the man who murdered Katrina?”

Nausea began to set in. Your stomach twisted with unanswered questions. You needed to escape before you spewed your lack of food onto the hardwood floor. The chair clattered backwards in your haste, hitting the floor with a loud thump. Your heel clacked against the floor while rushing for the front door, stilling before you got there. Your body froze, eyes directed at the closet that hung ajar.

You tried to push it closed, but something impeded it. Swallowing thickly, you pulled it open, letting your arms drop to the sides. Pasted to the inside of the door were pictures of Mansur, slices and cuts ebbed into the photos. The Wooden door had been punctured, but by what? The knife that still sat imbedded in Mansur’s forehead. The black handle poked straight out, blade sharp and stuck in the wood. The pit in your stomach grew at what you saw, the worst becoming reality.

You ran away, not looking back at the evidence of insanity and maniacal vengeance that was present in that room. You didn’t want to admit what you knew. You didn’t want to believe that Mitch was out for revenge.

Mitch was on a suicide mission to kill Adnan Al-Mansur.

~

The room was dark. The only sound was the clicking of fingers against a keyboard. The multiple screens that were perched along the wall were the only source of light, eyes flittering between the codes that appeared before them. The white letters against a black screen flashed rapidly across the screen until the stopped with coordinates to the destination in question. The eyes blinked, blinded from the constant staring at the bright screens in the dark hour.

It was after midnight.

But the chair sliding against the floor was loud, feet padding across the room to find the first bag possible. Clothes were shoved inside, hygiene products shoved into a small pouch on the inside. A passport sat on the bed, ready for use. A hand grabbed the phone that was connected to the computer, dialling a number rarely used.

It was cheating to do so, but you had no choice. Years in a computer science field and you were well adept in the task of breaking into someone’s phone, tracking the location of its whereabouts. The task was illegal, so you rarely did it. But when Mitch changed, you knew you needed a way to keep an eye on him.

Zipping the bag shut, the phone pressed to your ear, you spoke to the person on the other end confidently.

“I need the first available ticket overseas. Preferably the fastest travel.”

“Where is the destination?”

Your eyes fell on the computer before swinging the bag onto your back, backing towards the door. One hand rubbed the jigsaw piece on your wrist, feeling the determination that spurred from not one, but two sources: yours and the unknown presence that lingered around, giving you a sense of comfort that came from something, or someone, else. You were going to him. If he was still alive - you would be there. Even if he didn’t want you there, you couldn’t abandon your friend. Your mouth parted to answer, accepting what you had to do before answering.  

You would save Mitch, one way or another.

“Istanbul, Turkey.”

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[psycho-slytherin]

Rules

You need a name and a face to connect with your soulmate. What happens when you have both… and neither?

Pairing: Swimmer/Poet!Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Fluff I think?

Warnings: Swearing, poetry, wonderfully unsatisfying ending

WC: 2k

|mlist|

Based on a survey you guys took in which you chose a soulmate enemies-to-lovers au! Thanks to everyone that took the survey <3

[n/n = nickname]

REEEEEE! The blast of Coach Kim’s whistle sends adrenaline pumping through your veins and you dive off the edge of the pool, letting the cold water envelop you before you surface. Your legs are pressed together as you raise both arms simultaneously and let their force push you forward before kicking, kicking– arms, kick, kick, kick, arms, kick, kick, kick, arms, kick, kick, kick… you set a steady rhythm, sneaking a breath with every stroke, and your strong legs propel you to the end of the pool. Without missing a beat you duck, twist, and push off from the wall in the opposite direction, moving so quickly in the water you almost want to laugh.

Too soon, you reach the end of the pool once more, the slap of your hand on the cement signaling your coach to stop the timer.

“Fifty fly… nice! N/n, that’s 0.8 seconds off your best!”

“Yes!” you grin crazily, your heartbeat loud in your ears.

“Keep this up and you’ll be a shoe-in for regionals,” Coach Kim tells you. “Girls’ fly is gonna be one of the toughest races this season, but I think you’ve got the chops for it.”

“Thanks, Coach!” Even in the cold air of morning practice, your cheeks warm at the praise.

“Psh… girls’ fly is a fake competition,” Hobi, one of the guys on your team, says as he puts on his goggles. “Like whiffle ball. Or Ultimate Frisbee.”

“Put your money where your mouth is,” you fire back, hoisting yourself out of the pool. A bunch of the guys on your team are obnoxious, sure, but Hobi is a special breed of asshole.

“I’ll put something else where my mouth is,” he replies, winking.

You smile sweetly as you mime breaking his neck, and Hobi laughs. “Feisty today, aren’t you?”

“You know, Hobi, my favorite part of practice is when you’re under water.”

“Is that so?” “Mmhmm. ‘Cause I don’t have to listen to your voice, and I can entertain the prospect of you drowning.”

“Too bad for you– given that I’m a real swimmer, that’s not gonna happen anytime soon, is it?”

“I’m a real swimmer too, dickhead!”

“You haven’t proven that yet,” Hobi says with a smirk, and you open your mouth to fire back a scathing reply, but–

“Hobi! Chimmy! Yoongs! You’re up– anyone else want to try for the guys’ fifty free?”

You wrinkle your nose. You’re faster than Chimmy and Yoongs for sure, and to always separate by gender is a constant thorn in your side. You want to race against the best in the league, not just the best girls.

Bored, you watch the guys jump into the water, separated in three lanes. You hate ranking day, when just before a match Coach Kim races swimmers to decide who’s the best in each category. It only means you spend most of your time outside the pool, and at six in the morning such a setting is really not ideal.

“On my mark– if I see any of you grabbing the lane line, you’re out of the water for the rest of practice– Go!”

Immediately the three boys push off the wall– Hobi easily outpaces the other two, his strong scissor kicks splashing you as he passes.

“Hey!” That had better not have been intentional. You can see Hobi’s strong back muscles working as he turns his head to breathe.

Why do literally the worst people have the nicest bodies? You’re pretty sure that’s not fair. Asshole that he is, you can’t help but stare at Hobi when he swims backstroke– unlike his personality, his abs are nothing to laugh at.

“Well done, guys!” Coach Kim says enthusiastically when all three finish their lap. “Hobi, you sheared 0.3 seconds off your best– at this rate, you’re gonna be number one in the league. Yoongs, Chimmy, you’re brilliant endurance swimmers– work on your speed, okay? Keep it up.”

“Yes, Coach!”

“That’s ranking done for today,” Coach Kim says, glancing around. “The match is next week, so here’s what I’m thinking so far. Girls’ fifty fly, n/n. Boys’ fifty free, Hobi. Girls’ two hundred free–”

You tune him out as soon as you hear your nickname. Yes!

“Now to celebrate– one thousand meters’ cooldown. Your choice of stroke.”

The team collectively groans and you join in– a forty-lap cooldown? Well, you’ve had worse. You jump into the water and start moving to stay warm, choosing to swim breaststroke for the sake of going easy on your poor level of endurance. Even with the flurry of movement around you, you feel calm, collected, peaceful. The feeling of the water surrounding and caressing you is mesmerizing, and to your empty mind suddenly springs–

Awash in beauty, the tears of the Earth Fall upon the faraway stars in vain A weakened heart celebrates its weak birth The twins from days of old cry out for rain.

You grin underwater– with the goggles and swim cap, you surely look rather alien, but you don’t care. That’s a good stanza; you’ll have to remember it so you can share it with the others.

“N/n! N/n!” Yoongs calls out as you leave the girls’ locker room after practice. Coach Kim is standing nearby, talking to some parents.

“Hey– what’s up?”

“Do you…” Yoongs looks down, his pale cheeks reddening. “Do you wanna share names?”

Your eyes widen and your gaze darts to the coach. “We can’t– you know that. It’s against the rules. Coach doesn’t want distractions.”

“I-I know, but…”

You smile sadly. “I don’t think we’re soulmates, and the coach said no names. Sorry.”

“Yeah. I understand,” Yoongs says, eyes downcast. “Well, see you tomorrow.” “See ya.”

“Rejected,” you hear a sudden cackle behind you, and you jump.

“Jesus!”

“Aww, did I scare you?” Hobi asks with a fake pouty face.

“Yes– you’re wearing some sort of horrible mask.” You make a show of poking his cheek.

“Very funny. Was Yoongs asking to share names?”

“Why do you care?” you ask, affronted.

“Just the fact that he has to ask– what, you think it’s fine to require nicknames?”

“For sports?” You roll your eyes. “Of course. What if you were about to race and you found out your opponent was your soulmate?”

“But what if our soulmates were on our team?” Hobi steps closer. “What would you do if you found out I was your soulmate?”

“I’d dropkick you off the nearest diving board,” you inform him dryly. “Now leave me alone, cause I’m mighty tempted to make that a reality.”

“Fuck you too, n/n.”

You blow him your most sarcastic kiss before turning around, making sure to step on his foot on your way. You’re wearing flip-flops, so the only effect is your own increased satisfaction. You want to go home, write down that stanza, and talk to your friends.

In a world where soulmates need each others’ names and faces to connect, it’s stylish to walk around with a name tag in the hopes you might catch your soulmate’s eye. You’ve never adhered to that practice, instead retreating to the last anonymous corner of society– the Internet.

Plopping down, you open your laptop and log into the chat.

*its-shakespeare-bitch has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @its-shakespeare-bitch: guys guyssss i thought of a good stanza *RhythM24 has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @RhythM24: are you still in your iambic pentameter phase? @its-shakespeare-bitch: It’s a good phase :( *shininonasgard has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* *alittlealliteration has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @shininonasgard: namjoon shush y/n’s sonnets are really good @its-shakespeare-bitch: tHAnK yOu hoseok @shininonasgard: <3 @alittlealliteration: ok but I logged on for poetry discourse not y/n and Hoseok flirting again @its-shakespeare-bitch: hahahaha I’ll kill you hahahaha *shininonasgard has invited you to Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* *its-shakespeare-bitch has joined Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* @shininonasguard: Taehyung’s just jealous ;) @its-shakespeare-bitch: of what, my wit and charm? @shininonasguard: yep @its-shakespeare-bitch: lol I was being sarcastic @shininonasguard: I wasn’t. @its-shakespeare-bitch: omg shut up before I actually fall in love with you @shininonasguard: don’t tempt me~ @its-shakespeare-bitch: gross, now I’m feeling emotions @shininonasguard: art thou not an artist? Use these emotions, y/n, channel your inner muse! @its-shakespeare-bitch: you just want me to write you a poem smh you’re a poet too yknow @shininonasguard: I like ur poems tho :)))))) @its-shakespeare-bitch: dork now I’m smiling how dare you @shininonasguard: Wish I could see your real smile You inhale sharply. You’ve been part of this chat, with the same nerds, for two years– despite having never met face to face, they’re your closest friends. You even revealed your whole names to each other– but faces? That’s different. As much as you’d like to meet them in real life, as much as you’d like to look Hoseok in the eye when you read him something you’ve written…

@its-shakespeare-bitch: I know @its-shakespeare-bitch: and I wish I could see u too, but we promised we’d keep this chat free of soulmate frenzy. Since we know each others’ names @shininonasguard: yeah ik

@shininonasguard: Doesn’t keep me from imagining u tho. I bet you’re really pretty

@its-shakespeare-bitch: as pretty as poe was positive

@shininonasguard: Shushhh I know you’re pretty. You have a pretty soul and pretty words and that’s all I need to call you pretty

@its-shakespeare-bitch: charmer

What you don’t say is that on reading his words, your cheeks go bright red and you start smiling like crazy. This guy just does things to you– his manner of speech is far from simplistic, and he has a beautiful way of writing his verses straight from the heart. Between the two of you, in fact, you’d call his soul the pretty one.

@shininonasguard: hey I gotta go help my mom ttyl?

@its-shakespeare-bitch: sure, mama’s boy~

@shininonasguard: I consider that a compliment

@its-shakespeare-bitch: I meant it as one <3

@shininonasguard: jfc you’re literally perfect I am so goddamn lucky

@its-shakespeare-bitch: lmao go help your mom, Hoseok. ttyl

@shininonasguard: bye, y/n (^3^)

*shininonasgard has left Hoseok and y/n’s private chat*

*its-shakespeare-bitch has left Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* You sit back and sigh, hiding a smile. He’s so cute, he’s so cute, he’s so cute. Why does he have to be so cute? It sucks cause it’s not like he’s your soulmate anyways, so there’s no point in falling for him, but he makes that hard because he’s so. Damn. Cute.

When you fall asleep that night, you’re fatigued but happy. You’re representing your team in your best category, you entered a poetry competition with a piece that you feel really good about, and Hoseok is so wonderful to talk to… yeah. Save for one particular dumbass on swim team, you’re feeling pretty damn good about life.