#the urge is getting stronger by the day
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i’ve been wanting to cut my hair and go natural for MONTHS now bc i feel like it’s a journey i need to go on to get more in touch with myself
but i’m deadass so scared bc i haven’t been natural in years and i have thick 4c hair
but i feel like this a an important part of me fully becoming myself like what to do
#the urge is getting stronger by the day#i’ve truly been thinking about it since the summer#but the urge is so strong rn bc of a dream i had#i was bald and had small dark blue/black afro that i dyed with box dye from walmart#and i was so happy#absoutely beaming like the sun had nothing on me in that dream#blktumblr#black tumblr#black girl tumblr#black girls of tumblr#natural hair#4c hair#natural hair journey
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#good omens#´hello friends!! how are you!!#I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey#usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from#most of the time I just get a stuffy nose#has my nose gotten stronger#but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁)#it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet#but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (:#and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors#I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set#the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer#but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet#unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home#which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car
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yan!stelle??? i'm LISTENING 👀
hsr's been taking over my mind during the past few days, i love all the characters so much, especially the mcs and their raccoon energy
and kafka too i absolutely love kafka
- 🕯️
Ever since Stelle was revealed I've just felt...drawn to her, y'know? Hoyoverse has such a way with characters that you won't even know their name but you'd fall for them based on their looks and aura alone. Patiently waited for her personality reveal and was not disappointed at all<3
Like yes love, you can manhandle me, force me to listen to your most random philosophical monologues and break that bat on the head of anyone who decides to intervene. (She kind of reminds me of Cyno's quirkiness...🤔)
And Kafka.....oh Kafka. Even since her gameplay leaked I've been so unapologetically bad for her (lowkey threatening Ei's position). Everyone should love Kafka. I just love me my deranged dead-inside women, you know :( I've SO MANY thoughts on her as a yandere too :>
#hsr has fed me well with yandere brainrot so far#the urge to dedicate a whole blog to kafka gets stronger day by day ugh#──⚝ 🕯️anon#yandere stelle agenda#yandere stelle#yandere honkai star rail#yandere hsr#yandere hsr x reader#yandere honkai star rail x reader#yandere stelle x reader#stelle x reader#stelle#stelle hsr#hsr stelle#kafka#kafka hsr#hsr kafka#yandere kafka#kafka x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#hsr brainrot
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read some les mis fic for the first time in over a year and honestly it's probably a little sad just how happy it made me
#they were one shots too#and i have purposefully avoided reading it bc i knew i wanted to get fully back into les mis when i did#and i have not had the time tbh#still don't specially now#but the urge to watch a bunch of bootlegs and reread the brick is growing stronger every day#les mis#les miserables#les amis de l'abc#enjoltaire#les mis fanfic
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girl help im trying to fight the urge to consume problematic media
#at least i think its problematic? people on tiktok have said so a while ago#anyways.#wanna know what it is#its#ranfren#so uh tell me what to do#in the notes#do i consume the media and get weird or do i go on w/ life#the urge grows stronger every day and im fighting for my LIFEEEEE here#ok im done rambling. post#nevermind im not done ramblkng . im back bitches. i lived#i have the urge to scream just a little bit#the longer i go trying to suppress the interest the more it keeps fuckin me up#its like oobleck but worse and also can shape itself into something that hurts#like if oobleck had fists#the more pressue i put on it the more pressure kt puts on me#FUCKIN VOODOO OOBLECK#VOOBLECK??#voobleck#or voodoobleck??????#im not choosin. callkn g it both instead#anyways i have the song california gurls stuck in my head and its 4:21am and jm tired goodnihjt eveeyone hgnzghrfngzzzzzzhzhhhzhznzmmzbzz#snork mimimimimi#honk shoo honk shoo#etc.#gnightm everjlnhye#california girls were unforgettable daisy dukes bikinis on top syn kissed skin so hot well melt ur popsicle uouou o uououo#clifornia girls weee undeniable fune fresh fiefde ww got it ln loxk weat coast eepewse t how mur youy hand up uouou o uououo#etc. etc. yeag goodnight
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Wow, SXSG Dark Beginnings is so good I- HOLY SHIT IS THAT THE RED MIST
#project moon#library of ruina#the red mist#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#dark beginnings#sonic x shadow generations#I've never actually played the game but I couldn't resist anyway#sometimes I want to hurt the people I love just to feel something#the violent urges get stronger every day
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It looks like the minimum specs for Veilguard still say 16 gb ram. That's insane. That's ridiculous. Why do we even bother with pc gaming at all if no one optimizes their games anymore? What the fuck is this?
#to be clear i have that and a very good graphics card#but 16 gb is still absurd#why bother with this?#why not just buy a console that can play new games for years instead of having to upgrade your pc this much#that's an embarrassing spec to put on your website#like oh you didn't try. you didn't try at all#the urge to pirate gets stronger every day
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Guys. Watch Pacific Rim rn. I’m so serious. Guys the worms in my brain right now.
Me rn ^^
#i made an AU of my ocs in the pacrim universe#and it’s all I’ve been thinking about for three days#I’ve never in my life felt the stronger urge to learn how to draw mecha#and guys it’s fucking HARD#but we getting there.#AAAAUUUGGGHHHH#THE DRIFT#DRIFTING BEING THE DEEPEST FORM OF INTAMACY#DONT EVEN TALK TO ME#pacrim#pacific rim#mason talks#mason posts
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i love bella swan so much but specifically book bella. no one understands me like she does
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bashes my head into a steel door.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sonic fanart#sonic the hedgehog fanart#metal sonic#metal sonic art#metal sonic fanart#alone on a friday night#the urges#the urges to murder get stronger evey day
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✨🤍
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I’m not sure if I’ve shown you guys this but a few months ago I found the worlds GOOFIEST fake band merch website in the history of music
Whomever runs this site has an… odd obsession with this particular image of jack like what the actual fuck is this
ALSO I’m like 80 percent sure this site steals fanart???
Like I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the second one on tumblr before-
And the first one just gives off unofficial (but still good) art vibes
Anyways this site has a ton more goofy shit but alas I don’t feel like hunting down every last bit of insane shit that I honestly don’t think is even real
I’m VERY tempted to order the jack boxer shorts just to see what the hell they send me and if this monstrosity actually exists in some deep horrifying corner of the world
Idk who made this site or WHY but they DO actually send products and aren’t a scam like my friend bought a decent hoodie from these cursed lads
Here’s the link btw if anyone’s curious
Ajrmerch.com
#ajr#ajr brothers#what if I showed up to the ajr concert wearing a jack themed Hawaiian shirt#I was so not laughing my ass off the first time I found this site#every day the urge to buy the junderwear gets stronger
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i went on a walk and came back 60% more evil
#snap chats#you know that meme of spiderman holding back the bus while a kids walking across the street thats me @ myself right now#STOPPPP STOP BEING SAD STOP THINKING OF SAD THINGS TO DRAW OUUUUUGGGH theyd be SOOOO nice tho..#NOOOOO STOPPPPP its JUST angst for Everyone involved#this is what i mean my dad a fucking LIAR he be like 'go on a walk to feel better :)' father i came back with the intent to harm#with the intent to harm all ten people invested in the arakawa family i have come to be cruel#but NO. NO i said no more. wheres that electric fly swatter i need one of those#i have CUTE and WHOLESOME things on the menu THAT is the OBJECTIVE#my mental health keeps getting worse and it shows im trying to fight it with family fun time#who tf made that graphic of the mate in charge of ghibli movies and he's depressed as all hell im tryna live like that#i might be dying inside but let me make something pretty at LEAST#okokok let me actually start drawin onea them sweet things. the urge to lie down all day is strong but i shant i must be stronger#also dont walk outside it hot as hell out. im built like a lizard though thats perfect for me#but tryna sit in a cold place afterwards No Thanks.#ok my head hurts bye lets see if i come back with anything or the apathy wins
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our tooth is suddenly a lot more painful again and I don't know why, but I also only had one ibuprofen left so I've just taken that and I guess I have to hope our mum can get us some more before that one wears off because I really want to avoid having to take co-codamol again.
the issue is that we took some ibuprofen earlier and it wore off so quickly I'm not sure we're gonna be able to get away with just using that but I'm gonna feel really shitty if I do end up having to take the co-codamol, and we'd started getting intrusive thoughts about taking it while not actually in pain so I've gotten myself into this ridiculous loop of being like "what if I'm just coming up with an excuse to take it" even though I am in fact in a fuckload of pain now and the other medication isn't helping enough.
it feels like I'm stuck in a situation where my options are once again to either take a medication that I know is fucking me up and it's going to be a nightmare, or deal with being in too much pain to function, so I'm fucked no matter what I do
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#addiction tw#<- maybe? I still don't fully know how you tell the difference between dependence and addiction or if there even is a difference#but also the intrusive thoughts are like... it kind of feels like our brain going ''go on. just take one. you'll feel better for it''#sometimes it's less of a specific thought and more just a vague urge#and I don't know if that's what everything means by getting cravings but it fucking sucks and I hate it so much#no I don't wanna take one for the love of fuck#I didn't want to take it nearly every day for 2 fucking months#oh and after the oral surgery they prescribe co-codamol but like a stronger version of it with more codeine#which would have been fine. initially I was like ''oh cool a medical professional that isn't shitty about opioids''#except now it's like oh god okay I've got probably another month or so before I can maybe fully stop taking it for a while#and I don't wanna fucking deal with this. I just want to get through the shitshow that is the withdrawal effects#without having to do that multiple times because we keep ending up in too much pain and having to take it again
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