#the unseasoned boiled chicken of r&b

[here2bbtstrash]

if that remix actually features JT........ 🙄 somebody's sleeping in the doghouse

[real-total-drama-takes]

I know every single Harold fan is so white they boil their unseasoned chicken but would it kill you guys to put ONE hiphop or r&b song in your character “Harold playlist!!! X3”? You think he learned beatboxing and breakdancing from tally hall and lemon demon? Like literally there’s so many artists his ass would definitely listen to and they’re just NOWHERE to be found not even fucking Michael Jackson or Beyoncé. I feel like his whole rapper thing should take much more precedence over weird kid music. Like do we like the same character?

I expect too much of this website fandom to characterize him correctly. It’s either silly autistic blorbo or racist.

[lindyhunt]

Everything That Upset the Internet This Week

What is the web-o-sphere angry about this week? A Taylor Swift song, a male reporter and a condiment hybrid. If these are the causes you plan on championing over the weekend, here’s everything you need to know.

Taylor Swift Covers of Earth, Wind & Fire’s “September”

THE STORY: As a contribution to Spotify’s Singles series, Taylor Swift turned Earth, Wind & Fire’s 1978 R&B funk anthem “September” into a banjo-heavy country ballad.

THE REACTION:

If you were curious to hear what unseasoned boiled chicken breast sounded like in song, take a listen to Taylor Swift cover Earth, Wind & Fire. https://t.co/5x1Ecwc1cw

— Michael Arceneaux (@youngsinick) April 13, 2018

Raisins in a potato salad, but make it music. https://t.co/gW4baVgmvR

— Brian Josephs (@Bklyn_Rock) April 13, 2018

♪ ♪ do you remember… friday the thirteenth of april… when swift sang a funk and soul staple and chased your good vibes awayyyyyy ♪ ♪

— Puja Patel (@senari) April 13, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Did I like Taylor Swift’s cover? No. Am I offended by it? Not really. Artists cover and recreate songs all the time. Like, for example, did you know Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” is a Dolly Parton cover? That Aretha Franklin’s “RESPECT” is a cover of a song by Otis Redding? Did you know Brittany Spear’s wasn’t the first person to sing “I Love Rock N Roll” — and neither was Joan Jett?

There’s nothing better than hearing a great musician’s fresh take on a classic song — except maybe for when that “fresh take” strips all of a song’s happiness and adds a banjo. But that’s just one listener’s opinion! The original song’s writer, Allie Willis, has actually approved the cover: “‘September’ was my first hit and favourite song of mine I ever have had the joy of being a part of,” Willis graciously told Billboard. “Taylor Swift is the absolute cherry on top of a very soulful and happy sundae.” I guess we can’t argue with that?

HOW WE FEEL: 🙉 🙉 🙉

New Rob Ford movie rewrites Robyn Doolittle as male reporter

THE STORY: News of a Rob Ford movie made headlines this week. British actor Damien Lewis will play Toronto’s infamous mayor, and the role of the Journalist Trying to Uncover the Truth—a role that in real life was mostly played by noted female reporter, Robyn Doolittle—will be played by Ben Platt.

THE REACTION:

I'm glad they're rewriting the fact that it was a female reporter who investigated Rob Ford. Why have a woman be a lead character when a man could do it? Ammaright? https://t.co/Nx3holhuZW

— robyndoolittle (@robyndoolittle) April 10, 2018

Not begrudging @BenSPLATT (!) – just about the move in general: obviously I'm biased, but man, I've seen a lot of stories by male reporters celebrated in movies… https://t.co/VU0GJ8ZuTe

— robyndoolittle (@robyndoolittle) April 10, 2018

The real issue👇. The female reporter always has to fall in love or sleep with someone. https://t.co/go7rq4mqQn

— robyndoolittle (@robyndoolittle) April 10, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Platt responded to Dootlittle’s tweets, insisting that his part in the film is “totally fictionalized.”

“I have the utmost respect for your accomplishments,” he tweeted in the screenshot of a note, “I play a totally fictionalized character, an entitled, incapable entry-level reporter (my boss is played by Jennifer Ehle) at a fictional competing newspaper. The film alludes to the successful reporting from the Toronto Star.”

So, essentially, a fictional story about a man is more suited for film than true story about a woman? Is movie inherently more interesting if the main character is patriarchy-approved? In an article titled “If The Rob Ford Casting News Has You Down, Just Think About Dick,” FASHION Features Editor Greg Hudson writes: “To give the filmmakers the benefit of the doubt, let’s assume it’s a money thing. Unless they wanted to make a movie about a dogged Toronto reporter named something like, I don’t know, Roberta Seemore, they’d have to pay Robyn Doolittle a good bit of money for the rights to her book, Crazy Town. And so, sure, it’s cheaper to just tell another story.” He writes other smart things about the controversy, which you can read here.

HOW WE FEEL: 🙄

Heinz wants to bring “Mayo-Ketchup” to market

THE STORY: “Want #Mayochup in stores?” @HeinzKetchup_US tweeted on April 11,  500,000 votes for “yes” and we’ll release it to you saucy Americans.” Mayochup is, of course, a hybrid condiment of ketchup and mayonnaise.

THE REACTION:

this is called FRY SAUCE you thieves.

1. it’s been in utah for like 100 years 2. fire whoever came up with the name “mayochup” because they’re a mayoCHUMP https://t.co/zB8a2lluKq

— セージ 💮 (@sagenigma) April 11, 2018

It’s not ‘Mayochup’ or ‘Mayoketchup’… it’s Fry Sauce, and I’m 160% sure it was invented in Utah… because it was. Get it right. pic.twitter.com/178hitAgGt

— Will Boston (@wboston96) April 12, 2018

i did not spend 19 years of my life living in this shitty state for you to call fry sauce mayochup https://t.co/4qNwaNnmsD

— brandon (@macklemom_) April 13, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Honestly, I would like to believe that this sacred “Fry Sauce” Utah residents speak of is more than just ketchup and mayo mixed. Is an extremely basic dip hybrid really the backbone of your state? Isn’t there some special ingredient that sets “Fry Sauce” apart from your basic mayo and ketchup cross-condiment?

And according to this very reputable recipe from The Kitchn, there is. Don’t worry you Utahans, Mayochup will never compare to your state-wide delicacy! Here’s a recipe:

Fry Sauce Recipe

2 cups mayonnaise

1/2 cup ketchup

1 tablespoon pickle brine, preferably from bread and butter pickles

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika

Pinch cayenne pepper

HOW WE FEEL: 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟 🍟