#the two of us bond over being absolute assholes to one another

[pantheonfixations]

My best friend and her boyfriend don’t get my humor, they’ve failed as a throuple and I am abandoned in my time of need

[sky-is-the-limit]

Part 2: explicit version of Captain Price and Commander Graves fighting for your affections, only this time they came to an agreement to please all parties involved, especially you.

Though with two possesive men lusting after you, it's unlikely for said agreement to last..

CW: NSFW content, Afab reader, explicit language, possessiveness, jealousy, angry sex, oral sex.

Part 1 here.

Song recommendation

Notes: I'm not a writer! These two make me absolutely insane.

Both of them being so entirely different from one another was what made it so difficult for you to direct your desire to solely one.

Price was your Captain, he knew you through and through, your feelings and thoughts were his top priority, his lust was accompanied by his heart and genuine infatuation.

Graves, on the other hand, was a wildfire. Burning everything in his way just to get his hands on you, no matter the consequences.

➳ Graves would be the first to come to you after the agreement, ignoring Price's request to talk to you first as to have a more discreet discussion. His eagerness wouldn't even let him explain things properly, only muttering a

"Fine, you want us both? You'll have us both." Before smashing his lips onto yours with such force that would make you hit your back against the wall. His hands would be everywhere, roaming from your thighs to your breasts like a starved man.

"My greedy, little slut. Let's see if you can take what you've been asking for." And so with one swift move, you'd find yourself chest pressed against the wall, his erection readily felt between the globes of your ass and through the thick layer of his jeans, making you quiver instinctively.

➳ Price would approach you with caution, explaining to you that you wouldn't have to do this. You wouldn't have to risk the strong bond the two of you have for this. His wariness would wash away the second he'd see the hickeys trailing from your pulse to your neckline. You'd have never seen such a shade of possessiveness colour someone's eyes so dark.

"He did this? Come here." He would pull you on his lap, straddling his muscular thighs as his hand would wrap around your throat, leaving sloppy kisses all over it.

"Remember that you are mine first, Y/N." The heat of Price's clothed cock would be getting even more intense, pressed against your throbbing core, leaking, rubbing insistently with every torturous roll of your hips against him, his tone ouzing of authority and dominance.

➳ Graves would throw snickered remarks at Price with every given chance, especially if your Captain would catch him coming out of your room at the temporary base.

"I don't think she'll be able to take more tonight, Price. I've tired her out enough."

➳ Price would try his hardest not to visit you after Graves, taking your wellbeing into account. That would last minutes until the realisation that you'd go to sleep with his scent all over you and he'd find himself knocking on your door late at night to cleanse that asshole out of your system.

➳ Graves' favourite position would be anything in front of a mirror. Cowgirl, doggystyle, you name it. It wouldn't take long for you to realise that this man gets off of degrading and corrupting you to the core.

What better way to do it than having you stare at your own reflection, mascara running down your face as he'd pound into you merciless, one hand wrapped around your neck and jaw to keep you from darting your gaze elsewhere and the other either fondling your breasts or your clit like a madman.

"What would your Captain say if he saw you like this, hm? If he saw me fucking you the way you deserve to be fucked. Bet he never gets to have you like this. Such a good little whore for me." His mouth would be pure filth against the shell of your ear, every word spitted out with a rough thrust and the promise of many red marks on your rear and thighs.

➳ Price's favourite position would be missionary, classic, and powerful, just like him. He'd wrap your legs around his torso in order to fuck into you as deep as he could, so you'd feel every inch of him filling you up as his hands would hold yours firmly against the mattress.

"Keep looking at me doll, fuck, you take me so well." His grunts and gravelly timbre would be enough to send you over the edge, his lips everywhere on your face.

He would bring your own fingers to your mouth to have you suck on them while maintaining eye contact before instructing you to rub your clit so he'd have the freedom of his hands to cup your breasts and massage your nipples, pinching them and fondling them to have you see stars.

"You're being so good for me. That's my girl." His intensity and desire to claim you would spar out of control towards the end, his arms would grab onto the headboard, banging it hard against the wall as to burry himself even deeper, his thrust picking up the pace to send you into a euphoric trance.

➳ If Graves felt jealousy taking over him whenever another man would be near you before, nothing would compare to the anger clouding his mind after getting to taste you. He would give his Shadows 'the talk'.

"Don't talk to her, I don't even want your fucking eyes lingering on her for more than a second." Having to share you with Price would be so torturing for his ego that would make him paranoid. Even your fellow 141 members would have the privilege of earning quite a few death stares for interacting with you. He wouldn't dare to voice it to them though.

➳ Price would feel his heart ache whenever he'd see you laugh with Graves. Sex was a natural need, an action that would end the second he'd walk out the door, but the thought of you developing feelings for the other man? That would push him over the edge.

"Back to your Shadows, Graves." The way he would speak to the arrogant Commander would make you think that he'd be about to commit murder and you'd be a liar if you were to say that you didn't like your Captain claiming you in such manner.

Of course Graves would ignore him, sending him a look of pure intent as he'd put a hand on your shoulder without breaking eye contact.

"Get back to your fucking team, Commander or I swear to God, I'll send you there face first." His body would conceal yours behind him, showing the other man where your place was before watching Graves roll his eyes and take a few steps back to take another look at you "I'll see you later, sweetheart."

He wouldn't see you though because when he'd try to enter your room later that night, the door would be locked and your obscene whimpers so vocal behind it like they were meant for anyone close by to hear.

"Say it. Tell me who you belong to, soldier." Price would let his title take over, his possessiveness leading you face down on the pillow, fingers firmly tangled with your hair before tugging your entire body upwards like you weighted nothing to press your back against his chest.

"I'm yours, Captain." He'd have you say it again, and again.

➳ Ah, Graves and his tremendous ego. How dare he leave marks on your soft skin? Only your Commander gets to do that. Of course he'd be under the impression that Price would never give it to you the way you wanted, his arrogance would be cut short the minute he saw handprints on your hips.

"My good mood is ruined now, Y/N. You have to make it up to me, don't you think?" He'd mutter the words with venom, undoing his belt with one hand and his gaze never leaving yours.

"On your knees. Now." His demeanour would be intimidating, cold like you were only meant to be used and solely by him. He'd use his belt to restraint your wrists behind your back as your knees hit the cold floor before sliding down what was concealing his erected length that was now only inches away from your mouth.

"Let's see how well you can use that mouth of yours." With your hands behind your back, your body would start to tremble as you'd try your best to fit every inch of naked skin in your mouth, tears coating your cheek to the sensation of him hitting the back of your throat.

"God, you look so pathetic like that, baby. So desperate to take all of me." He'd tug on your hair, his grip firm as to not let you slip him out of the warmth of your mouth, slowly fucking into it with his blue eyes piercing into yours.

➳ Price, on the other hand, would set you down on his wooden desk right in front of him, panties long forgotten on the floor as his grip would tighten on your thighs to keep them open. He would take a few seconds to take in the sight, your soaked cunt wetting up even more by the second, leading your slick to coat your folds so mouthwatering and all for him to taste.

"Use your words, doll. Tell me exactly what you want me to do to you." He wouldn't move an inch unless you'd describe to him exactly where you wanted him, hearing all those improper words coming out of your beautiful mouth would fuel his desire even more, lapping onto your clit the same way he'd kiss you, intensely, so you'd feel all the fire burning him alive for you.

"Don't hold back, love, let me hear every fucking sound." His long girthy fingers would fuck into you slowly, agonizing, matching the pace of his tongue flickering every inch of you and the way his beard would graze against your skin, would promise you feeling his touch for days afterwards.

➳ Graves would soon regret this proposition when he'd walk in the armory to find you on Price's lap, sliding up and down his cock torturously slow, your Captain's hands gripping on your hips to guide you on his length in a pace that would allow you to feel every inch of him inside.

The sight would pull him to walk further inside, making his presence clear by clearing his throat and leaning against the wall opposite of you.

"Don't mind me here, I'll take over once Captain here manages finish the job." His tone would be challenging, disrespectful towards the older man fucking into you so intimately. You'd think that Price would take you elsewhere to continue, but no. The second Graves' insulting tone would register in his brain, he'd go feral.

"Suit yourself, Commander." He'd spit out the other man's title like he was talking to a nobody, focusing on slamming your skin down on his length repeatedly as his lips would find occupation on your breasts, sucking the skin to leave purple shaded marks.

Your obscene moans filling the room with Price's name falling out of your lips like desperate calls for salvation would be enough indication that he was managing you just fine. Not to Graves, though, who would be fuming like a volcano about to erupt.

After you'd come down from the overwhelming high and ecstacy John put you through, Graves would walk over to you shamelessly. He'd help you to stand up from the cold bench to your feet, only to swiftly scoop you up so he'd wrap your legs around him and press you up against the nearest wall.

"Now watch here, Price. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two."

[spikedfearn]

I Said Just a Little Bit, Then I Got a Taste of It

Chapter VI

bjorn x fem!reader

summary: After being transferred to another sector of Jackson's Star you reluctantly befriend a ragtag group of people with the exception of one cocky asshole who knows just how to get under your skin.

On the surface, you hate each other, but after experiencing a particularly harrowing event together, the two of you grow closer than anyone else could ever imagine.

a/n: sorry for the major delay on this chapter everyone, I've been juggling a lot privately and professionally but I'll be back to regular updates over the course of the next week <3 also, just broke 20k with this update, woo!! summary for this chapter is: the art of self-sabotage. or, old habits die hard.

warnings: secret friends with benefits, enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol/drug use, nsfw, non-linear narrative, trauma bonding, resolved sexual tension, praise kink (both ways), oral (giving/receiving), loss of virginity, dirty talk, shower sex, falling in love

tags: @asvtrials @urfavhanna @orangebeauty @3arthtoeden @barnes70stark @sadslasher13 (comment if you wanna be notified when a new chapter drops)

wc: 2.8k

Masterlist Next Chapter

How could you let this happen? Be this stupid?

This is exactly what you didn't want, trying your absolute damnedest to bury your feelings for Bjorn deep, deep under the weight of denial and downplay but—you can't, no matter how hard you try.

You're fighting an increasingly losing battle, falling further every time Bjorn comes around, every time he fucks you and holds you in his arms after. Every time he apologizes for whatever mean things he said in front of the others just so he can keep up the appearances you so desperately wanted to uphold. Every time he tucks your hair behind your ear and whispers that everything's going to be alright when nothing about this remotely is.

And you cry every time he leaves, finding it harder and harder to hold it in each time he does, like he's taking another piece of your heart with him every time he goes, crying salt into your pillow as you hug it close to your naked chest in the hours after, until your sobs taper off into pathetic wet sniffles, dehydrated and drained like you’re grieving a loss that hasn’t yet come to fruition.

But it will—and that’s the crux of it isn’t it, because you know in your bones, in your soul that you’ll lose this just like you’ve lost everything else before, because you’ve learned early on that everyone, no matter how much you need them, will always, always, leave in the end.

It’s a tough pill to swallow but then again, the truth always is, so you do what you can to prepare for it, choosing to shatter the illusion of happiness yourself instead of waiting for it all to inevitably come crashing down around you, desperately hoping it won’t hurt as bad when you do.

A decision you come to after another night spent drinking in the quarry, most nights spent together spent drinking, alcohol the only thing that really takes the edge off after an incredibly long and difficult shift.

Slumped back into the camping chair you’re sitting in, the one that you’ve unofficially claimed as yours, you quietly watch the familiar dance of flames everyone was sitting around, finishing off the last of your beer while the others talked and laughed.

You’d been pretty quiet all night, barely contributing anything to the conversations happening around you, too busy in your own head contemplating how to dig yourself out of the hole you’ve found yourself in as you tossed the now empty glass bottle into some nearby bushes.

Usually you'd stop after three, never one to catch anything more than a buzz but tonight, tonight you wanted to get absolutely shit-faced, wanted to shut out all the white noise inside your head, if only for a little while.

So you go to get up, intent on grabbing another drink from the worn down cooler Navarro’s feet were propped up on when Bjorn’s voice made you freeze, asking, “needa refill luv?” from the other side of the pit, head whipping up so hard you almost threw it out.

He must’ve been watching you, had to have been for him to have immediately noticed you were out, your stomach fluttering wildly at the assumption, doing your absolute damnedest not to show it on your face, no matter how badly you want to hiss at Bjorn, “what the fuck are you doing—sit back down!!!” but, you don't. Can't. The words dying in your throat every time you went to say it.

With your eyes glued to him, you watched as he walked around the burning steel drum towards his sister, his shoulders slouched and his chin down, the confident swagger he usually carries himself with gone and been replaced with a level of uncertainty you're not used to, one that helplessly flashes you back to shy blue eyes unable to meet yours just before he sucked on your breasts or stretched you open on his thick fingers.

You squeezed your thighs together, feeling wetness starting to seep between them. Not the time.

Bjorn nudged Navarro’s feet off the cooler lid, totally ignoring the scowl his sister threw at him while her hand was cupped around the dying cherry of her cigarette she was trying to keep from going out, fishing another bottle of aspen beer from the half melted ice in the process.

He came to a stop in front of you, holding the drink out by the glass neck to take, giving a smile meant just for you, so warm it had you burning hotter than the kindling wood behind him as everything briefly dissolved around you, like the entire universe was made up of just you, him, and the space in between, the warmth he was wearing radiating throughout your chest.

It was incredibly tender and brief and all wrong, the moment interrupted when Rain cleared her throat beside you, bringing you crashing back down to reality.

More than enough to make you recoil—hard. The bottle you'd been mid hand off slipping from your grip and shattering onto the pebbled stones between his and your feet, splashing chilled lager across both of your pant legs.

Bjorn had sworn under his breath then, asking you things like, “fuck, ah’ ya alright?” and, “ya’ ain't hurt ah’ ya,’ darlin?’” but you’d barely heard, had tuned it all out as your gaze swung wildly around the lopsided circle your friends were huddled in, all eyes on you.

Whether from the beer or from Bjorn you didn't know—didn't want to know, feeling severely scrutinized under the weight of their collective stare, like they could see right through you, like they knew what you were hiding, causing you to shrink down low into your seat, line of sight trained on the freshly wet gravel as you snapped at Bjorn that you didn't want his fucking handouts.

You could see the lower half of Bjorn’s body go rigid from within your periphery, refusing to look up and meet his eyes, afraid of what you might find, of possibly seeing some of that blossoming affection you’d been feeling mirrored in his icy blues, waiting to let out the shaky exhale you’d been holding until he walked back to his seat.

No one commented on your bizarre little exchange, probably because they knew you were a flight risk, that you’d turn tail and run at the first sign of conflict—like you always did, which is why you forced yourself to stay, not wanting to raise any more questions.

After the bonfire had ended Bjorn, like most nights, found his way back to your apartment, a bit cautious to approach you in your bedroom, probably sensing the sour mood he'd inadvertently put you in, asking for permission to touch while he crawled into your bed to join you.

And now here you are, Bjorn grunting as he thrusts into you once, twice, three more times before he finishes inside the condom buried eight inches deep between your legs, hairline damp from exertion with his bangs sticking to his forehead in sweaty little peninsulas.

He leans down, the cool metal of his dog tags brushing up your bare chest while he does, to plant an incredibly tender kiss to your lips, smiling into it when he feels you reciprocate, going in for a slew of quick pecks the same time he lets go of the leg he’s still holding up, fingers dimpling the back of your thigh.

“So fuckin’ perfect,” he grins a little wider, still a bit winded as he tries catching his breath, rolling off of you to lie flat on his back instead, covered in a fresh set of scratches trailing down from his shoulders to the base of his spine.

There's a beat of silence, only punctuated by the mingling of your heavy breathing slowly returning to normal and the systematic tick of your alarm clock on the bedside table next to your head, feeling Bjorn's hand find its way into yours down between your bodies.

Tears start to crease along your waterlines, rapidly fluttering your lashes to try and blink them away, to not draw Bjorn’s attention to how absolutely vulnerable you feel. This was a mistake. A big one. And not just tonight—all of it. Every kiss, every touch, every whispered filthy praise shared between you, closing your eyes for a moment, just long enough for you to work up the nerve and say, “we have to talk,” voice thick with thinly-veiled emotion.

Bjorn perks up at that, rolling onto his side as he sat up on his elbow, cheek resting on a loosely curled fist, the shitty stick and poke of the losing dice frowny face he has tatted on the back of his right hand, one of the many Navarro gave him when he was fifteen and they were both high as a kite while giggling quietly on the floor of his bedroom as to not wake their dad, upside down from this angle.

“Glad ya’ said sumthin’ princess,” he smiles a shy, tiny thing you aren’t used to, fighting the overwhelming urge to back out now, “cuz m’ pretty sure I feel tha’ same.”

You seriously doubt that, your suspicion sadly confirmed when he confesses, “I think m’ fallin’ fo’ ya,’” the same time you say, “I think we should stop seeing each other.”

More silence, except—this one says a hell of a lot more.

Your throat goes tight and painful, like you just swallowed shards of glass and poured salt into the resulting wounds, watching the smile on his face quickly dissolve, replaced by a pinched frown and the confused furrow of his eyebrows, sitting all the way up to stare down at you.

“Wha’?” He asks, so small and fragmented it feels like a knife stab to the chest having to hear it. Fuck, you knew it was going to sting,that you were in too deep by the time you realized you were falling for him, but you didn't expect it to hurt this bad, like you want to take it all back but you don't—you can’t, for your sake and his.

“I said,” you push through the acute ache, disguising your tone with something harsher, something hurtful, “we should stop seeing each other. It's just—not working out anymore.”

“M’ sorry but where in tha’ bloody fuck is this all comin’ from? I thought things wuz’ good between us,” he argues, using his hand to gesture between your body and his as you sit up against the headboard, pulling your blanket up over your chest so you aren't so exposed.

“Well, you were wrong. We just—we aren't meant for each other. We're only hooking up out of convenience and you know it,” you reinforce, unable to meet his eyes head on, just like the quarry, gaze trained on the worn comforter by his naked thigh.

Still, you're able to catch a glimpse of the confusion on Bjorn's face morph into utter annoyance, snapping at you to, “cut tha’ shit already.”

“Excuse me?” You bristle immediately, letting your anger temporarily eclipse your pain so you don't break down in front of him, “fuck you if you think I'm lying.”

“Oh, m’ sorry if m’ havin’ a hard time believin’ ya, but ya’ can't jus’ fake tha’ kinda chemistry. I'm willin’ ta’ bet it all on black ya’ felt it jus’ as much as I did.”

You can see desperation bleed into his eyes, hear it seep into his words, wavering like he's not so sure anymore but still trying to convince himself that he's right—and he is, you know in your bones that he is but he doesn't need to know that, muttering back, “what the fuck do you even know.”

His nostrils flare as a result, clearly offended by your statement, leaning in on his palm, fingers spread over your sweaty, wrinkled bed sheets, his gaze firmly transfixing itself on you, “‘scuze me? Ah’ ya’ tryna be daft on purpose?” not giving you any room to respond before he continues on.

“Listen—I can't speak fo’ ya,’ but I know wha’ I fuckin’ feel. D’ya really fuckin’ think I wanna feel like this?! Tha’ I wanted this ta’ happen? Course fuckin’ not. I don't get close ta’ people tha’ ain't mah’ family but then you. Ya’ came along an’—I neva’ intended ta’ get ta’ know ya’ at all. Yeah I thought ya’ wuz a total smokeshow when I first laid mah’ eyes on ya’ but I figured ya’ wouldn't stick around long with how bloody standoffish ya’ were, always lookin’ like ya' didn't wanna be there

“But then ya’ did. Ya’ did an’ we almost fuckin’ died so I opened up ta’ ya’ figurin’ we wuz both gonnas’ then ya’ let me touch ya.’ Let me inside ya,’ an’ I couldn't stop fuckin’ replayin’ it in mah' head tha’ night I slept ova’ at Kay an’ Tyler's. Had ta’ rub one out in tha’ bathroom an’ bite down on mah’ fuckin' fist like a hormonal tweener. I woulda been embarrassed if I wuzn't so fuckin' turned on.

“So I had ta’ go back fo’ a round two, see if it wuz jus’ a fluke but once I was fuckin’ ya again I couldn't stop, I wanted more every time, like a fuckin’ junkie lookin’ fo’ tha’ next fix, no matta’ how hard I tried resistin.’ But then I started ta’ notice otha’ things ‘sides tha’ face ya’ make when I make ya’ pussy weep around mah’ cock an’ ya' sing so pretty fo’ me,” he says, face neutral and tone even despite how hot your cheeks are hearing that.

“Like how carin’ ya' ah’ fo’ tha’ othas’ despite actin’ like ya’ don't. Tha’ ya' had ta’ grow up fas’ as fuck an’ took it out on yaself’ instead o’ lashin’ out like an’ insecure prick. Like me. Tha' I thought I'd neva’ seen someone so fuckin' beautiful in all mah’ life when ya’d fall asleep befo’ me, even when ya’ wuz droolin’ on mah’ chest and snorin’ like one o’ them fuckin' minin’ drills. Tha’ I thought I could listen ta’ ya' horrendous singin’ in tha’ showa’ all day when ya’ woke up befo’ me. Tha’ I wanted ta’ call ya’ mine fo’ a fuckin’ while now.

An’ I know I wuzn't jus’ imaginin’ shit. I might be shit at expressin’ mah’ feelins’ but so ah’ you. Ya’ can’t convince me none o’ it wuz real.”

You consider trying to take it all back, while he’s still giving you an out, feeling like your heart’s been violently ripped out of your chest but you refrain from doing so, choosing to stand your ground, no matter how shaky the earth beneath you feels. You can’t afford to lose someone again, it’ll be better in the long run to ruin it now than to let life steal someone else away when you least expect it, when you can’t possibly handle any more heartbreak.

Finally meeting his eyes you force yourself not to flinch at the intensity of his gaze as they scrutinize you, like he can see right through you, feeling more exposed now than you did when he first got you naked.

“It wasn’t,” you insist, somewhat petulantly.

It’s his turn to roughly swallow at what you say, his confidence visibly waning in the slouch of his shoulders and the way he pulls back a little, the uncertainty of his words when you first confessed making a comeback—much stronger this time but still underscored by a level of defiance like he’s clinging on to some modicum of hope.

“So allat—allat really meant absolutely nuthin’ ta’ ya?’”

You know you have to inflict maximum damage, to crush any chance of making the same mistake twice, finding yourself leaning in like he did earlier to emphasize your point, not deviating away from devastated blue as you hiss, “nothing. Nothing at all.”

And that was all it took, watching how quickly Bjorn turned his back to you while he quietly yanked on his clothes, shoulders shaking in anger, in rejection—in defeat. He's hurting, it's more than obvious by the way his voice shakes, sounding like wet gravel as he croaks at you to, “have a nice fuckin’ life,” before storming out of your apartment, leaving you alone, the silence you once found comfort in when you were on your own bordering on unbearable now.

It's for the best, you reason, it's what needs to happen, you don't need to make this any harder than it already fucking is, finally allowing yourself to break down, as pained sobs rack your body, crying so hard you grab at your chest like you’re trying to open another airway, gasping between each tearful moan.

So, if this is really for the best—then why does it feel like the worst decision you’ve ever made?

[scatorcciosrhee]

Two things

1 can I use your Van screencap for a profile pic ?

2 I’m obsessed with the idea of childhood bffs Nat and Van, what you think ? You got any hc’s ????

I totally see them stealing cigarettes if their passed out parents.

you absolutely can! feel free to use any of my icons! that’s why i make them :)

as for nat and van childhood bffs, for sure! i think about this all the time! they definitely grew up together in the same trailer park, and silently helped each other out through everything.

they’d steal a cig or a joint off of one of their parents, and sit on vans roof and just smoke together. debrief about their respective crushes, teasing each other in the process.

nat was the only person who knew about van hooking up with tai, and she never told anyone. that’s just how they were. they could wholeheartedly trust one another.

when nats dad died, van didn’t leave her side. she’d either spend the night on nats floor, or nat would come to her trailer. van kept an eye on nat always, and was constantly looking for ways to make her laugh or smile through very dark times. it was the same when he was around, considering what a fucking asshole he was.

they often bonded over their moms being passed out and too drunk to form a coherent thought. they’d go on walks during the night to get their minds off of it. although their lives were shit, they always could depend on each other.

i so wish we got to see more of this duo :(

[thatbloodymuggle]

READY TO RUN (v)

FIVE - ACCELERANDO

SUMMARY: in a world where everyone has a predetermined match, JJ Maybank and Y/N Montgomery want nothing to do with theirs. it has to be a cruel joke; the universe forcing two people to love each other when they don’t know how.

PAIRING: jj maybank x reader / soulmate au

WORD COUNT: 8k

SERIES MASTERLIST

WARNINGS: smut, language, dom!jj, sub!reader, hair pulling, oral (f receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, choking, slight humiliation kink, public sex

✰✰✰

A week had passed since the annual tennis tournament. 7 days since you had last spoken to Anna. 7 days since you had last seen JJ Maybank.

Each day passed by even more slowly than the next. You only left the Montgomery estate to go to Madame Mercier's house. You only left your room for meals. You hadn't even used the grand piano in the ballroom for your daily practices and had instead confined yourself to the small, upright Yamaha in your bedroom.

But you weren’t depressed. Rather, you found that confining yourself to such a routine eliminated any possible distraction. If you didn't hang out with your friends, you wouldn't be sucked into parties. And if you didn't frequent the streets of Kildare County, there was no chance you would run into your soulmate.

You knew Kate and Topper were concerned about your well-being. It was evident from their daily texts, and phone call attempts. You responded to them but made clear that you needed space alone. Anna had not divulged the reason behind your argument, which you were grateful for. You felt particularly bad for being so distant with Topper, as he had been there for you at one of your lowest points the previous week. 

To top it all off, your mother had been even more scrutinizing than usual after you had showed up to the estate escorted by Topper, puffy-eyed and soaking wet from head to toe. It now seemed that every dinner was filled with some kind of thinly veiled insult. 

Is that a new shirt? You know cool tones wash you out.

Are you sure you need another brownie? You're not getting the exercise you used to since you quit sports.

Worst of all had been dress shopping with your mother and sisters with Midsummers rapidly approaching. Margaret found something wrong with every dress you tried: too short, too long, too much cleavage, unflattering on your figure. Meanwhile, Georgia and Dixie had no trouble finding the dress of their dreams. 

But you would take the cruel remarks from your mother any day over confronting your greatest problem of all.

You thought that by physically distancing yourself from JJ, maybe the bond would grow weaker. Maybe you could revert to before you met when your soulmate's pain was merely an afterthought. But to your dismay, the effect had been the opposite. 

With each passing day, the bond seemed to grow stronger. It had become so sensitive, that you could feel the flick of a lighter against your thumb; the tickling of uncut grass between your toes. You worried about what would happen if you continued to resist it. How much stronger could the bond grow? Would the longing in your chest become so painful, you won't be able to function?

It was a battle between your head and your heart. You thought JJ was an impolite, abrasive asshole whom you shared absolutely no common ground with. But your body burned with desire at the mere thought of him.

Since you had entered your self-imposed isolation, you found yourself practicing the Chopin piece until your fingers were numb, and your back ached from sitting up straight. When you were unable to sleep, you played. When Georgia's incessant shrieks sounded through your walls, you played. When you found yourself entertaining the possibility of giving in to the inevitable connection, you played.

The silver lining? You had the entire piece nearly memorized.

You were in the middle of yet another torturous practice session when you were interrupted by a sharp knock on your door.

"Mom says we're leaving for dinner with the Camerons in an hour so you better be ready," Dixie's grating voice was threaded with annoyance, as you figured your mother must have sent her.

"'K," your shoulders slumped as you reluctantly pulled yourself from your piano.

You did not want to have dinner with the Camerons. You knew the whole thing was an excuse for the adults to get wine drunk together, brag about their children, and complain about their first-world problems. Sarah Cameron used to be your savior at these get-togethers. But you couldn't remember the last time she had come to one of these dinners, as Sarah seemed to always be busy with her new life on the Cut. 

After dinner, Dixie would stick around with the adults, while Georgia would run off with Wheezie. This would leave you with Rafe, who was a hit-or-miss. Sometimes, like the night of Topper's birthday, he was pleasant, more or less. Other times, his demeanor matched that of a cranky, old, drugged-up alcoholic. 

Despite the impending dread of the evening, you trudged over to your ensuite bathroom and turned on the shower, allowing the room to fill with steam before actually getting in. The water was scalding against your skin, but you welcomed the numbing feeling. Nowadays, you welcomed any feeling you had control over; any feeling that would drown out JJ's. You took your time lathering your body, washing your hair, and shaving your legs. You stayed in the steaming shower until your fingers began to prune. You reluctantly shut the shower off and wrapped a towel around your body. You went through your meticulous skincare and hair routine, all the while humming along to whatever piano melody floated aimlessly in your mind. Your phone buzzed, and you paused your work curling your eyelashes.

6:36 PM Kate: what are you up to tonight? we'd love to see you

You sighed as you read over your friend's message. You knew that you could only avoid them for so long, and the expiration date of your isolation was rapidly approaching. 

to Kate:

stuck going to the Cameron's for dinner. how about move night thursday? delivered 6:38 PM

You set your phone down after typing out a quick reply. A minute hadn't even passed when your phone buzzed again. You glanced at it from the corner of your eye, as you were mid-mascara application.

6:39 PM Kate: it's a date

You smiled softly at her response. You really had missed your friends; you just dreaded having to explain your argument with Anna, as well as your disappearance. 

You rushed through the rest of your routine, before making your way to your walk-in closet to pick out an outfit for the evening. Just as you had slipped on a satin skirt which you knew your mother would approve of, you felt the sharp, burning sensation of walking barefoot on gravel in the balls of your feet. A shiver ran up your spine, and you wiggled your toes as if doing so would shake off the uncomfortable feeling. 

"Get a move on, you. We're leaving in five minutes!" your father’s booming voice startled you. You tried your best to ignore the sensation in your feet as you hastily slipped on a pair of kitten heels, and rushed down the grand staircase and into the foyer. As you caught sight of the rest of your family waiting by the car, you sighed. Still, you swallowed down the dread, put on an obedient smile, and walked outside to join the rest of the Montgomery clan. You only hoped that playing along would make the time pass faster.

✰✰✰

"You wouldn't believe the audacity of these teenagers, nowadays. They must have never been properly taught manners, let alone customer service skills!"

You bit your tongue at your mother’s dramatic retelling of the story of the staff member at the club who delivered her a lukewarm towel rather than a hot one. You feigned a smile as the adults at the table laughed. You caught Sarah Cameron's eye from across the table, who rolled your eyes dramatically at Margaret Montgomery, eliciting a quiet giggle from you.

As miserable as the dinner had been, you had been pleasantly surprised to see Sarah at the table. At least after the meal, you would have someone your age to make small talk with, saving you from lingering beside the adults or engaging with Rafe. This was particularly relieving considering the last time you saw Rafe he had his tongue down your throat at Topper's birthday party.

Just as you shuddered at the memory, Ward Cameron's booming voice diverted your attention, "Well why don't we head inside and try out some of those liqueurs I mentioned earlier?"

Margaret and Clyde folded up their used napkins and followed him inside the house, with Dixie trailing behind. Just as you had predicted, you were left alone with Rafe and Sarah, as Georgia had run off with Wheezie earlier in the evening. 

"And then there were three," you sighed awkwardly. Sarah sent you a soft smile which you returned, while Rafe stared you down in a manner that made you feel uneasy. You shifted under his gaze and cleared your throat, "I'm just gonna head to the restroom." 

You folded your napkin and stood up, pushing your chair in behind you. You head towards the house with a bounce in your step, eager to escape Rafe's leering eyes. You hurried into the bathroom near the front entrance of the Camerons’ house and huffed in relief as you locked the door behind you. 

You turned to the mirror and sighed as you looked yourself in the eyes. You frowned as you noticed that the bags under your eyes were visible even under layers of concealer, and your mascara had smudged slightly in the crinkle of your right eye. Your self-scrutiny was put on pause as you felt a familiar hot pressure on your thumb, followed by a burning sensation in your throat. You cleared your throat as if it would expel the sensation. Instead, the burning returned. Smoking kills, you thought to yourself but gulped in acceptance. You gave yourself one last once over before pushing the door open, intent on finding someplace quiet where you could escape for the rest of the night. 

"So you're avoiding me now?" a gruff voice tickled your ear as you turned to close the door behind you. You jumped in surprise and whipped around to face Rafe, who loomed over you like a predator would with its prey. His eyes were dark, and his grin unsettling as he leaned one hand on the door beside your head.

"No," you squeaked, "Just needed to pee."

Rafe scoffed and leaned even closer to you, "Well now that you've gotten that out of the way," his head ducked down to the crook of your neck, "why don't we continue where we left off last time, huh?" his lips grazed your collarbone. Your entire body tensed, frozen in shock. Rafe sunk his teeth into the soft skin of your neck, nipping harshly and shaking you out of your state of surprise.

"That was a one-time thing," you shoved at him, but he placed his other arm on the other side of your body, effectively trapping you between his body and the wall. He trailed sloppy kisses up the side of your neck and jutted his hips against yours, keeping you from squirming away. His breath reeked of alcohol and you scrunched your nose up at the smell. "Knock it off, Rafe," you cried, shoving at his chest again, but to no avail.

"Get off of her, you perv!"

Sarah's shrieking voice startled Rafe away from you. You gasped in relief as his body was removed from yours. Your heartbeat was erratic, and you shivered as the shock of Rafe's advance towards you settled. You didn't hesitate to scramble over to Sarah's side.

Rafe, on the other hand, let out a guttural groan at his sister's interruption, "God, Sarah, can you fuck off for once?"

Sarah narrowed her eyes at her brother, "She said 'no', you dickhead. And you reek. Go take a shower or something."

Rafe rolled his eyes but trudged away, nevertheless, all the while grumbling profanities under his breath. You felt a weight lift off your shoulders when he exited the foyer, and you turned to Sarah with sincerity, "Thank you."

"Don't even mention it," Sarah spoke in a soothing tone with apologetic eyes, "I'm so sorry about him. He can really be awful sometimes."

"That's an understatement," you scoffed, and Sarah giggled in response.

"Seriously though, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Sarah questioned, her brows cinched together in concern. 

You shook your head and sent her a reassuring smile, "I'm fine, really. Just grossed out."

Sarah nodded, satisfied with your response. A beat of awkward silence passed between you before she broke it again, "Well I was gonna go have some of the Rosé my dad opened during dinner if you wanna join? I could use your help killing the bottle."

"Sure," you replied with a closed-mouth grin, "I could definitely use a glass of wine after tonight. If I hear one more golfing story I think I'll lose my mind."

"Tell me about it," Sarah laughed heartily and led you back outside to the table you had eaten on, snatching the opened, but nearly full bottle of Rosé along with two wine glasses. The two of you sat on the steps of the patio, and Sarah poured you each a generous amount of wine.

"Cheers," you grinned as you clinked your glass against Sarah's before taking a sip, relishing in the bittersweet flavor.

"Are you still playing piano?" Sarah chirped, filling the once awkward, but now slightly more comfortable, silence. 

"Yeah," you nodded, "I've actually been thinking about applying to some music programs for next year."

Sarah grinned at your response, "That's amazing! It's nice to see you stepping outside of the Montgomery mold," she teased.

You chuckled softly. "How's your life been? How are things with John B?" you questioned in response, taking another sip of your Rosé.

The longer the two of you chatted, the more you felt yourself relax. You had missed Sarah, and feeling connected with someone outside of your inner circle felt like a breath of fresh air. For once, you didn't feel the need to impress anyone or present yourself in a particular way. That freedom was a much-needed relief.

"You know it's nice seeing you at one of these things," you sighed, "You're like, my only saving grace at these dinners."

Sarah gently swirled the wine in her glass, and shot you a guilty smile, "Yeah. I'm sorry for leaving you high and dry all those times."

You shrugged, and took another sip of wine, "It is what it is. I mean, you've got a whole new group of friends now."

Sarah frowned at this but didn't object as she knew it was true. She had ditched a number of people, but in her defense, it was hard to have the best of both worlds with so much animosity on both sides. 

"I guess. But I do miss you, though. It just feels impossible to have friends on both sides with this raging class war. I mean, can you imagine a world where Topper and JJ play beer pong and sing campfire songs together?" Sarah laughed at the image of the well-established enemies being friends.

Your heart skipped a beat at the joke. You couldn't imagine a world in which Topper and JJ got along. You couldn't even picture Topper's reaction when he would inevitably find out that JJ was your soulmate. The thought terrified you; still, you forced a laugh and raised your glass of wine to your lips, effectively concealing your phony smile. 

"Seriously though, I think you would actually like my friends, Y/N," Sarah said with a smile, "I think you'd get along well."

You shrugged and looked out at the twinkling string lights covering the backyard, "I don't know about that. I do like Pope. He seems to be the tamest of them all."

"He definitely is," Sarah affirmed. She waited a beat, before continuing, "You know, I'm supposed to be meeting them at the beach for a small bonfire soon. I would love it if you could come."

You nearly dropped the glass in your hand. 

"Uh," you blubbered, "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Oh come on, I promise it'll be fun. You'll have me, and I really think you all would get along," Sarah stared at you with pleading eyes, her eyebrows raised with hope.

You shifted in your seat in discomfort. You had been doing so well, this past week, avoiding any possible run-ins with JJ. Why would you subject yourself to the possibility of seeing him? At the same time, you were really enjoying spending time with Sarah, and it would be nice to get out of the house for something other than piano practice or a family obligation.

"Who all is going to be there?" you questioned.

"Just John B and Pope, I'm pretty sure," Sarah responded.

You gnawed on your bottom lip as you mulled over the invitation. JJ wouldn't be there, at least. But was hanging around with his friends any better? In the end, the pleading look in Sarah's puppy dog eyes was unrelenting.

"Okay," you reluctantly agreed, eliciting a squeal of excitement from Sarah.

With a giddy Sarah on your tail, you set your glass of wine down to find your parents and ask for permission to go to the beach with Sarah. You were careful to exclude any mention of other people, let alone Pogues. In their tipsy-bordering-drunken state, Clyde and Margaret waved you off with a nonchalant seal of approval.

"John B should be here any minute," Sarah proclaimed as you waited at the driveway of the Camerons' mansion. You felt the nerves beginning to creep in. You knew that Pope didn't hate you, but you still worried John B would given that you had never interacted with him beyond nods of acknowledgment or passing insults from Topper. Before you could spiral into your whirlwind of thoughts, a beat-up Volkswagen van pulled into the driveway. The vehicle looked like it was on its last legs, but the rustic exterior was oddly charming.

Just after it screeched to a halt, Sarah yanked the side door open and clambered inside. 

"Hey guys, Y/N’s gonna join us if that's okay," she chirped, beckoning you to join her inside the van. 

You cautiously climbed inside and were met with a surprised John B and Pope in the driver and passenger seats. You flushed as you realized how out of place you were. Before you could excuse yourself, Pope interjected your train of thought.

"Yeah, of course! It's good to see you again," he sent a toothy grin your way, which you hesitantly returned.

"The more the merrier," John B stuttered with an awkward, but still kind, smile. 

Your anxiety settled but still bubbled quietly in the pit of your stomach. You were completely out of your comfort zone. But it was too late to turn back now, as John B started up the van and pulled out of the Cameron's estate. 

"How was your dinner?" John B called from the driver's seat, glancing at the two girls through the rearview mirror.

Sarah scoffed, "Pretty fucking awful."

You snorted and turned to your friend with a grin, "I think if I heard one more person complain about how the Club's hor d'œurves have gone downhill this season, I'd gouge my eyeballs out with one of your stepmom's fine china teaspoons."

Sarah burst out into a fit of giggles, and the two boys in the front chuckled at your quick-wittedness. You relaxed into your seat, as you grew slightly more comfortable with the unfamiliar crowd.

The drive to the beach was short from the Camerons' house, and it wasn't long until the four of you climbed out of the Twinkie in a nearby parking lot. You noticed a dirt bike parked next to the van, but you didn't think much of it as the group made their way towards the water. 

"I definitely didn't pick the right shoes for the occasion," you grumbled as you fiddled with the straps of your heels and pulled them off before stepping onto the sand of the beach. 

"Hey, they're cute though. Where’d you get them?" Sarah nudged you with a grin as the two Kook girls walked side by side in the sand.

You shrugged, "They were Dixie's. But she wore them twice before deciding they were too last season."

Sarah snorted, "Classic Montgomery behavior."

"Tell me about it," you mumbled with an exaggerated eye roll.

Loud chattering ahead of you diverted your attention from your feet to the flickering flame of a small campfire surrounded by four long logs. You smiled softly at the scene, but the grin was instantly wiped from your face as you caught sight of the familiar blond locks you'd been avoiding all week.

JJ Maybank's eyes shot to yours, and you froze in your place. 

Sarah noticed how you had tensed suddenly and turned to you with furrowed brows.

"I thought you said it was just Pope and John B," you rasped.

Sarah followed your gaze and finally noticed JJ staring back with an unreadable expression. A guilty blush crept up her cheeks as she turned to you and grabbed your arm gently, forcing your eyes back on her. 

"Please don't be mad," Sarah whispered, "But I may have stretched the truth. I just didn't think you'd come if I told you anyone else was coming and selfishly, I really wanted to spend some more time with you."

You internally groaned at Sarah's confession. You should have known better. Since when did the Pogues hang out in separate groups? Your shoulders slumped and you sighed, composing yourself. You knew Sarah didn't mean any harm by it. It's not like you knew about everything between you and JJ. 

"You're right, but it's fine," you relented, "I'm already here so might as well make the most of it."

Sarah's shoulders slumped in relief and she grinned, "Well let's go then!"

She grabbed your hand and dragged you towards the small fire to join the rest of the group. 

"Hey guys! Y/N did my a solid saving me from a miserable dinner tonight so I invited her to join us," Sarah announced with a cheery tone. "Please be nice, she’s really cool," Sarah spoke pointedly at JJ with a cocked eyebrow.

He grunted and restored himself to poking at the fire with a stick, trying to look as disinterested in your presence as possible.

"Yeah, of course," Kie smiled cautiously at you, which you shyly returned.

Sarah beckoned you over to join her on one of the logs beside the fire. You sat with Sarah to your right and Pope to your left, much to your relief. At least you were surrounded by the two members of the group you felt least ostracized by.

The group of friends passed around beers and erupted into conversation. You listened intently, smiling along but silently sipping your beer otherwise. You learned that so far this summer, Pope had been busy studying for the SAT, John B had landed a job in a mechanic shop, and Kie was taking a creative writing class off the island at a nearby university. You admired the ease with which the group of friends spoke, and found yourself feeling glum as you thought of your friends. You worried that you may never be able to sit around like this with Topper, Kate, and Anna again. Anna certainly hated you, and you were sure Topper would when he inevitably found out the truth. 

"Why don't we play a game?" Kie's voice pulled you from your thoughts.

"What do you have in mind?" Pope quirked a brow as he took a sip from his beer.

Sarah interjected, "How about Never Have I Ever?"

The Pogues in the group groaned at your suggestion.

"We already know everything we've done," John B complained.

"Well, you've never played with me! And we have a new friend with us, so we don't know everything," Sarah argued pointedly. You flushed as all eyes turned towards you.

Kie shrugged, "I'm convinced. Who starts?" she propped her elbows on her knees and held up five fingers on each hand. 

"You start since you think it's such a good idea," JJ grumbled. You avoided his gaze across the fire.

Kie hummed in thought, "Alright. Never have I ever given or had a happy ending massage."

Sarah and John B sheepishly put down a finger, and everyone else erupted into disgusted cries. 

"I didn't need to know that," Pope shook his head, before collecting himself and continuing the game. "Never have I ever gone skinny dipping," he exclaimed.

All three girls put a finger down, and the three of you giggled as you realized you were the only ones who had done so. You could feel yourself warming up to Kie, albeit slowly. 

All eyes turned to you, "Never have I ever..," you trailed off, thinking of a statement, "shoplifted."

You watched as John B, Kie, and JJ all put down a finger. JJ scoffed, and grumbled under his breath, "Well of course you haven't, you don't need to."

Kie elbowed him in the side to shut him up, but you had already heard his comment. You frowned and diverted your gaze to your bare feet in the sand. He really detested you, didn't he?

"Never have I ever pulled an all-nighter," Sarah's lilting voice brought you back to the game. Pope and Kie both put down a finger.

As the group of teenagers continued going around the circle, their questions became more and more targeted.

Never have I ever had a boner.

Never have I ever lived on Figure Eight.

Never have I ever had a brother named Rafe.

Kie was the first to drop out, and Pope, John B, and Sarah each had one measly finger left in the game. In a last-ditch attempt to save himself and kill two birds with one stone, Pope cleared his throat and boomed, "Never have I ever met my soulmate."

Sarah and John B immediately erupted into cries of protest.

You, on the other hand, felt your entire body stiffen and your heart skip a beat. You sucked in a breath, and your gaze cautiously crept towards the blond sitting across from you. Your pink lips parted as your eyes met his, already trained on yours. His jaw was taut, and the expression painted on his face was indiscernible. His three fingers remained in the air, unmoving. And so you mimicked him, keeping your remaining fingers raised. 

Pope softly nudged you and you jumped in your seat, diverting your gaze from JJ. "Oh, um," you stumbled, "Never have I ever been arrested."

Pope sighed as he put his last finger down, "Well it was fun while it lasted."

JJ put a finger down, leaving him with two remaining and you with three. You shifted in your seat, as all eyes were trained on you. You cautiously met his eyes and watched as the tip of his tongue poked out in thought, wetting his lips. 

"Never have I ever had my own household staff to wait on me," JJ taunted, his voice dripping with disdain. 

Your lips curved into a frown and your cheeks flushed at his insinuation that you were spoiled. You put one finger down, leaving you with two remaining. 

You ground your teeth, and quickly retorted, "Never have I gotten into a fight for no good reason."

JJ's left eye twitched, and he put down yet another finger, leaving him with one left. The rest of the Pogues were silent while they watched the pair, heads whipping back and forth as if watching a tennis match.

"Never have I ever spread my legs for a Kook," JJ sneered, his face stoic and eyes swimming with malice.

You could barely hear the groans and shouts of the Pogues around your reprimanding their friend. Your body felt hot, and you couldn't tell if it was because of the crackling fire or your blazing fury. You leaned forward just enough so JJ had a full view of your cleavage through the flickering flames. You propped your elbows on your knees, pushing your breasts together. You lifted your beer and wrapped your lips around the mouth of the bottle slowly, never taking your eyes off of him. You blindly set the bottle down and licked your lips slowly. You relished in the bitter flavor and the bob of JJ's Adam's apple as he gulped, revealing a crack in his stoic demeanor. 

Finally, you put down one finger, leaving only your middle finger trained towards him.

"Never have I ever hurt my soulmate on purpose," you spoke with a sense of finality.

Because you knew you had won.

JJ was fuming as his composure shattered. And you found yourself captivated by the shift of his jaw, the vein bulging from his neck, the baring of his teeth. A cruel smile crept onto your lips as you reveled in the darkened hue of his blue eyes.

"I think that's enough of Never Have I Ever," John B coughed, cutting through the rapidly escalating tension. 

You leaned back in your seat with a satisfied smirk tugging at your lips. You finally pulled your eyes off JJ.

The Pogues attempted to move past the awkwardness caused by the seemingly innocent game. Sarah and Kie sparked up a conversation about their plan to buy supplies from Home Depot for a pong table. John B and Pope joined in, offering design suggestions. But JJ's anger and your smugness lingered in the air; impossible to avoid.

"Well I'm getting pretty tired," Sarah forced a yawn and dramatic stretch.

"You spending the night at the Chateau?" John B was quick to add, eager to escape the lingering hostility.

"Sure," Sarah responded before looking at you, "We can still swing by your place if you want a ride home?"

You shook your head and politely declined the offer, "I think I'm gonna walk home. I could use the fresh air."

And you didn't want to risk any of your family members seeing the beaten-down van pull into the driveway.

You shot Sarah a smile that seemed to be convincing enough.

"You coming, Pope?" John B asked as the couple rose from their seats.

"Yep," Pope didn't hesitate to jump from his place.

"Me too," Kie mimicked his actions. They all cautiously looked toward JJ in anticipation. After a few beats of silence, the group began their work dismantling the small campfire. While Pope, Kie, and John B collected the littered bottles, you followed Sarah to collect buckets of ocean water. 

As you walked towards the waves, Sarah wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug, "Thanks for coming. I hope we can hang out again soon," she smiled as she pulled away which you gladly returned.

"We will, don't worry," you reassured the Cameron girl. 

The two fo you filled your buckets with water and returned to the fire. You each doused the flames, causing a dwindling of smoke to rise into the air. John B kicked sand over the logs for good measure, until the last ember dimmed. Satisfied, the group turned to begin their trek to the Twinkie. Sarah gave you one last smile and wave before looping her arm through John B's and turning away. 

You watched as they walked away, ignoring the presence of the boy still seated on a log who hadn't moved since the end of the game.

Silence enveloped the two of you, filled only with the crashing of soft waves nearby. You grabbed your heels from your previous spot and wandered away from your soulmate, seemingly oblivious of his presence. You ambled towards the moonlit waves and plopped down in the sand just behind where the water crept up at its highest point. You wiggled your toes in the fine sand and stared up at the crescent moon illuminating the dark earth below. You fluttered your eyes shut and breathed in the salty air, shivering slightly at the sea breeze. 

Even with your eyes closed and the ocean clouding your senses, you could feel JJ's presence.

The blond Pogue took a seat beside you. You waited with bated breath, refusing to be the one to break the silence. 

Your wish was granted as JJ finally spoke, "You'll be the end of me, Montgomery."

You couldn't fight the triumphant grin from stretching across your face.

Your eyes flicked towards him. His anger had dissipated into something else entirely; something You couldn't quite put your finger on.

"JJ Maybank's demise," you hummed in thought, toying with a loose strand of your hair, "The Pogue Prince at the mercy of the Kook Princess. The duality is almost poetic, isn't it?"

You felt a scorching desire brewing in the pit of your stomach; one which wasn't your own.

You had him wrapped around your dainty finger, and you both knew it. Still, he took the bait.

"You're the devil, you know," he rasped, inching closer to his other half. 

"Well you know what they say," you quirked a brow, reeling him in. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

Hook, line, and sinker. 

JJ released a guttural groan as he crashed his lips against yours. His hand snaked around your neck, entangling itself in your windswept hair and firmly holding you in place. The callouses of his fingers were rough against your smooth skin, sending an earth-shattering shiver up your spine. You melted into his touch and balled the fabric of his t-shirt in your first, yanking him even closer. His blunt nails dug into the dip of your waist, eliciting a gasp. He took advantage of your open mouth and slipped his tongue inside before running it along your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth. 

JJ swiftly swung his body over yours and nudged a knee between your legs, forcing them apart. Your skirt slid up your thighs and bunched around your hips. His lips never left yours, as if he was afraid you would slip away if they parted. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you laid back on the sand. You rolled your tongue against his and tugged on the hair at the nape of his neck, earning a moan from JJ. He returned the favor by grinding his knee between your thighs where you needed him most. You jolted with a moan and bucked your hips against him desperately. 

Just as your hands, trembling with desire, slid underneath his shirt, JJ grabbed both of your wrists with one hand and pinned them above your head. He abruptly detached his lips from yours, and you gasped at the loss. Your eyes fluttered open as JJ trailed kisses along your neck. 

You cried out when he took your earlobe in his mouth before whispering, "It's cute that you think you've got me wrapped around your finger," he gripped your chin in his free hand, "But you seem to have forgotten who you're messing with, Montgomery," he slipped his thumb into your mouth, "You need me to remind you?"

You stared up at him with pleading eyes. Any semblance of dignity was swept away in the ocean breeze when you nodded once.

JJ's eyes twinkled with desire as he moved his hand back down to wrap around your neck. He leaned down so their lips just barely brushed. You lurched forward to connect your lips to his, but he jerked back and pushed his hips into yours. He leaned down again, before pulling back in the same cruel manner. You cried out in frustration and jerked your arms but to no avail against his iron grip.

"Use your words," he teased, ghosting his lips over yours again, "Or I'll go like this all night."

"Please, J," you whined, thrusting your hips. You wanted so badly to wipe the cocky smirk off his face, but you had relented control.

"Come on, sweetheart, you can do better than that," he squeezed your neck, "Tell me what you want me to do to you."

Tears of frustration pricked at your eyes. He wanted to see you embarrassed. 

"I wanna feel your lips on my skin," a tear trailed down your face, "I wanna taste you, I want you between my thighs. I want you all over and I need you inside of me, please--"

JJ cut off your blubbering by crashing his lips against yours once more and releasing your arms. You slid them back under his shirt, and this time he didn't protest as they trailed up his toned abdomen to his flexed shoulders. He parted from you once more to discard the material, and you nearly drooled at the sight of his bare chest. 

JJ scrunched your skirt up around your waist, revealing your lacy panties. You squirmed as he simply pressed the pad of his thumb against the very obvious wet spot in the middle. He watched in awe at the effect he had over you, and a blush crept up your neck. 

"Please, stop teasing," you whined.

He didn't hesitate to yank the material down your thighs and toss it aside. JJ trailed kisses up the soft skin of your inner thigh, and you waited with bated breath as he inched closer to where you needed him most. Finally, his tongue dragged up your slit and circled your clit, before sucking it into his mouth with a vulgar slurp.

You cried at the sensation and threaded your fingers into his dirty blond locks. Your eyes fluttered shut and your jaw went slack in pure bliss as JJ ate you out like a man starved. The alternating flicking of his tongue against your nub and sucking into his mouth made your head spin. You felt your high approaching, and you knew JJ could feel it too which made the sensation all the more intoxicating. As his skilled tongue continued to circle your clit, he ran a finger through your folds before sinking it deep inside. You mewled as he massaged your walls. Feeling your orgasm rapidly approaching, JJ wrapped his lips around your nub and inserted anotyour finger, curling them both as fast as he could. You wailed and shockwaves rolled through your body as you felt your release. JJ groaned against he as he felt the ecstasy of your high in his own body. He continued lapping up your juices as you rode through your release until your thighs twitched violently and you jerked away from him. 

You panted in the afterglow of your mind splintering orgasm. You barely had a moment to recover before JJ's lips were back on yours. His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, forcing you to taste your own release.

"You taste so fucking good, baby," he moaned against you, and your heart skipped a beat.

He reached behind you and swiftly untied your top, throwing it aside. He groaned as he saw you weren’t wearing a bra. Your nipples were hard from the sea breeze, and he eagerly took one into his mouth while massaging your other breast. He flicked his thumb against your nipple, and you trembled at the sensation. You reached down and fumbled with the button and zipper of his shorts. You shoved at JJ's shoulder in an attempt to flip him so you were on top, but he wouldn't budge.

"Uh uh," he shoved his shorts off and nipped at your neck, "As much as I'd love to see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock, that'll have to wait. I need to feel your tight cunt stretched around me right now."

You shuddered at the filthy words leaving his lips and watched in awe as he helped you nudge his boxers off. His cock sprang up, rock hard and dripping with pre cum. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he slid the tip of it between your soaking folds. Your opening fluttered as the head of his cock poked through, before retreating over and over again, leaving you a blubbering mess.

"Beg for it," JJ rasped against your lips as he continued his teasing.

You cried out in frustration. He wrapped his hand around your neck, squeezing slightly; a warning.

"Please, fuck me J, fuck me until I see stars, I need you inside me," you whimpered pathetically.

He rested his forehead against yours and stared deep into your eyes. Your noses pressed harshly against each other and you could feel the heat of his breath at his proximity. And in one swift movement, he thrust himself inside of you.

A guttural groan escaped him at the sinful feeling of your velvety walls fluttering around him. Your jaw fell slack as you sucked him in. You could feel every indentation, every ridge, every vein of his cock inside you; it was a sensation unlike any you had ever felt before. Your bodies melded together like a lock and key, the last two pieces of a puzzle, two halves of a whole. It rivaled any past fleeting pleasure. You lost all inhibitions as you gave into the bond you had fought against for so long. 

JJ pulled his hips back slowly, before slamming them back against you at an unforgiving speed. You wailed at the sensation and dragged your nails down his bare back. You felt your nails dragging along your own back and resliehd in the intimacy of it. He buried his face into the crook of your neck as he set an unrelenting pace. With each snap of his hips, you felt waves of pleasure which resembled that of the ocean water not even 10 feet away.

"You feel like fucking heaven," JJ gasped against your.

He raised one of your legs so it rested over his shoulder. You cried at the sensation, a tear trailing down your face. The new angle allowed him to reach you even deeper, hitting places you had never felt before. He kept thrusting at a splintering speed, but the snapping of his hips was beginning to falter.

"You feel that, baby? You feel what this cunt does to me?" JJ growled into your ear. He pressed one hand against your abdomen, knowing you could feel his rapidly approaching orgasm. He moved his hand down and rubbed his finger against your sensitive clit at a rapid pace.

You nodded, unable to speak.

"You want me to fill this tight little pussy with my cum?" his voice cracked as he got dangerously closer.

"Yes," you sobbed, "Please, fill me up!"

JJ let out a guttural groan as he thrust into you one last time before spilling his load inside of you. Shockwaves rippled through your body as the coiled spring releasing in his abdomen sent you over the edge as well. Your vision blurred and your head spun as you found yourself unable to breathe, unable to think, unable to see. You could only feel. You could finally feel. 

JJ rested his nose against the side of your cheek, panting as he recovered from his high. He was unable to move as he reveled in the feeling of you. He laid, strung out, on top of you until his dick had begun to soften, and he had to pull it out. JJ reluctantly propped himself up on his elbows and eased out of your, causing you to tremble at the sensation. You blinked and slowly regained focus on the stars above.

You were vaguely aware that you were lying naked on a public beach--but it was too late to care at that point. 

JJ collapsed beside you with a huff. He mimicked your position and stared at the stars twinkling above. He turned on his side and swung an arm over your waist with a sigh. He nudged his nose against your cheek again and barely spoke above a whisper, "We just complicated things, didn't we."

You nodded before you replied, vocal cords scratchy, "That's the understatement of the century."

JJ watched the rise and fall of your bare chest, using it to count the passage of time until a minute passed.

"So what do we do now?" he asked.

"I don't know," you shrugged.

Your chest rose and fell. Another minute passed. 

"I don't think we can keep on avoiding each other," he broke the silence.

You sighed, "Clearly not."

The acceptance of your predicament was sobering. Acceptance. What a terrifying word.

You cleared your throat, "Well, clearly we can't ignore the bond. But that doesn't mean we have to uproot our lives."

His brows furrowed, "What do you mean?"

You sighed and tilted your head so it faced his. You stared into his ocean blues, nose to nose, "I mean so long as we satisfy the bond we can continue our normal lives."

His eyes never left yours as he mulled over your suggestion. "So, you're saying that if we keep fucking then we can go back to before."

You nodded.

JJ turned his head from yours and stared up at the sky again. He watched the crescent moon, which when he tilted his head resembled a frown.

"Okay," he finally replied. 

Before you could say any more, a booming voice made you freeze in terror. 

"Hey, who's out there?"

You and JJ scrambled to your feet and frantically searched for your clothes. Your heartbeat was erratic as you caught sight of a man on the other end of the beach. His shining light and the silhouette of his vest were a dead giveaway that he was a cop patrolling the public beach.

You only had time to slip on your skirt before JJ yanked your wrist, pulling you from the scene.

"Come on, Montgomery!" he ran, dragging you behind him. You held your top up to cover your bare chest as you stumbled behind the Pogue, who managed to get all of his clothes on in time. You sprinted through the sand and towards the parking lot where the dirt bike you noticed earlier was parked. JJ found a set of keys in his pocket and looked up, finally catching sight of you. Despite the gravity of the situation, he couldn't help but laugh at the wide-eyed Kook, clutching a top against her naked chest and trembling in fear. 

"Fuck off," you hissed, hands shaking as you attempted to lace up the back of the top behind your neck. 

JJ spun your around and swiftly tied it into a knot, saving you time. He shoved a helmet into your hands, and your mouth gaped as you realized he wanted you to get onto his bike.

"You want me to get on that...that death contraption?" you shrieked as he put his own helmet on. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the spare helmet from you, placing it onto your head unwillingly.

"You wanna get booked for public indecency?" he retorted.

You remained silent but huffed to show your displeasure. 

JJ guided you onto the vehicle and revved the engine. Just as he kicked off the brake, your face dropped with realization.

"Wait! My shoes, I left them on the beach!"

"Tough luck, sweetheart. You're gonna have to get a new pair."

"But they're Louis Vuitton," you cried in despair, earning a scoff and exaggerated eye roll, which although you couldn't see you could feel. 

Your vintage heels were forgotten as you heard the police officer getting closer, "Stop right there, or I'll call for backup!"

JJ merely revved the engine in response and guided your arms around his waist. You gripped onto him for dear life as he sped out of the parking lot and onto the road, leaving the poor man a blubbering mess.

You clutched the fabric of JJ's shirt tightly as he weaved in and out of lines like a maniac. You feared for your life, but the adrenaline coursing through your veins was insatiable. You leaned your head back and shut your eyes, relishing in the feeling of the beating wind blowing your hair back. You laughed at the sensation and your situation.

Never would you have guessed that a Montgomery-Cameron family gathering would end with you on the back of the Pogue Prince's humble steed running from the police.

And you couldn't help but revel in the incredulity of it all. 

[karaspal]

What do you think Kara thinks of Damian and vice versa? How much would they interact?

I know there’s that issue where she’s friends with Steph and calls him a brat but tbh I don’t like that version of Kara, much prefer your more mature and well-rounded version of Kara

that's a great question, thank you for asking! i think kara and damian would like each other and make a great team. if it were up to me, i'd give them a "world's finest" book. but i'm biased since they're two of my favorite superheroes lol.

kara is a very skilled superhero, and damian would respect that. she's also very direct, which is another thing damian likes. plus, kara wouldn't treat him like a kid. she'd treat him like a partner and respect his opinion, which is great for him because damian hates being patronized. basically, similar to how dick treated him during their time as the dynamic duo. kara would be like the cool older sister who considers your opinion and what you want until shit really hits the fan and she needs to step up as the adult in the situation. sure, that might annoy damian, but since it would only happen once in a while, he'd get over it.

as for how kara would view damian, i think she'd also have a high opinion of him. is she going to be annoyed by some of his early remarks? absolutely. is she going to laugh at some of them? probably! there's no universe where damian calls tim ugly and kara doesn't laugh.

kara would see past damian's facade and into his true self. sure, when he first appeared, he was a jerk, but he was also just a kid, and kids aren't always great with emotions. it makes sense why he was the way he was. kara wouldn't enable his behavior, but she also wouldn't hold it over his head. and in recent years, we've seen damian regain his autonomy, open up more, and just be more relaxed in general. so they wouldn't even butt heads about him being a needless jerk. in fact, kara can be an asshole too sometimes, so they can be haters together.

there's also a nice parallel between them because they're both firstborns in very powerful families, meaning their lives were destined to be hard from the start, and a lot of weight was always going to be put on their shoulders. they both come from different cultures and had to adjust to the american one. you know, they can bond over hating american food. and they both have controlling parents, kara with alura and damian with bruce, so they'd relate to each other there too. i think kara would see a part of her younger self in damian, the same way she did with ruthye, and have a soft spot for him. she'd be proud to see him grow more and more as a person and choose peace for himself. they are also both cat people, and us cat people must have each other's backs. streaky and alfred would also be friends!

there's also the whole thing about fandom mischaracterizing them as angry and violent when they're actually very kind and compassionate, but that's a whole different topic.

all in all, i think they'd work great together.

[evanhereonearth]

Since I’ve gotten a few questions about my original books and where to find them, I figured I should do an introduction/master post, because I’ve a whole heap of things I do.

I’m a polymath, a pain in the ass, a massive pain

If you’ve enjoyed my Solavellan meta and want to support me, I would be honoured. I’ve just been totally cleaned out by a gruelling and traumatic immigration process (that is ongoing), and honestly *any* support is an enormous help in getting back on my feet so my life in my home can…finally begin.

I’m a fantasy author of over 25 novels across several subgenres, but all of my books have a romantic element or are romances. I’m also an award-winning Gaelic singer and songwriter who has represented Scotland internationally twice and been invited to perform for our parliament’s 25th anniversary celebration.

I’ve been at this a long time, and I keep kind of getting knocked backwards onto my arse and am pretty exhausted! Here’s my erm…life’s work below the jump!

Books

If you want to read my current series as I write it, check out my Patreon! I’m back on my Solavellan bullshit with it: if Lavellan met Solas somehow both as Solas and simultaneously as rebellion-era, peak traumatised Dread Wolf…and had to reconcile those experiences on the fly as her people’s oppressors subject her to impossible trials to steal what remains of their Indigenous magic? Aye, that’s Wilder.

You can follow along for £1 a month on Patreon. It’s going to get very spicy.

My most recent published series is a Solavellan-inspired romantasy trilogy (complete!) that I wrote over the last five years of absolute panic that we wouldn’t get a happy ending.

Complete trilogy!!!

Mutual pining

Souls bound across time and space

Big Dragon Age and Solavellan vibes

Banter!

“We shouldn’t” 👀

Low spice (honestly I kinda regret not making it spicier so might make some erm…bonus scenes at some point)

In KU/ebook and available in bespoke deluxe paperback from my own shopfront

Elven gods and mortals romance episodic series where the gods are being punished by a greater power for being assholes and can only find redemption by winning the heart of their mortal soulmates 😌

Queer-norm world!

Book 1: m/f

Book 2: f/f

Book 3: enby/f

Book 4: m/f

In KU and ebook only; they’re just short lil guys

Complete trilogy!

Spell-induced climate change, one land magically draining the resources from another, and those dead set on righting the wrongs (or making it worse 😳)

Giant sapient bats

Giant cats and those who bond with them and ride them

A land cut off from the world by an ancient curse

Ace rep!!!

Profound friendships and trust

Available in ebook, hardcover, and paperback

Complete quartet!

Lots of snark

My earlier work but I’m still proud of it 🥹

Bi lead, f/f endgame

So many butts

Adorable demon hybrid lads who are very wholesome and also always naked

NANA THE BUNNY, best bunny

Available in ebook, hardcover, and paperback (and audio, narrated by the amazing Amber Benson of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame—she’s truly an absolute legend 😭!)

Look to the Sun and A Hall of Keys and No Doors are both available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audio. Also narrated by the amazing Amber Benson!

Two standalone YAs, both lightly paranormal

Non-binary autistic leads in both

Big themes of surviving and recovering from trauma

Sweet romance in each

Demi/grey ace rep in each

Will is obsessed with Solas just like me lmao

Target of banning in plenty of US states 🙃

Sam got nominated for a Nebula award 🥹

Available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audio (Sam is narrated by Allegra Verlezza, and Will by Vico Ortiz—yes, that Vico Ortiz!)

Seonag and the Seawolves: free to read at Reactor Mag!

A Gaelic reimagining of a Green Man tale with a sea-based protector and their wolf guardians. Set in South Uist!

Long listed for a Hugo award 🥹

The Quiet: A tale of a woman who bridges worlds to seek out her lost sister in the face of an ancient threat. Has selkies!

Perchance to Dream: An m/m tale of Sleeping Beauty if the legends didn’t get it quite right and neither Aurora nor Phillip wanted anything to do with one another, beginning from the wake-up kiss

The Quiet and Perchance to Dream are both available in ebook and KU!

***

Beyond this, I have a whole series of LitRPG under another name that I’m toying with outing myself about.

Music

I also have a wee EP of demos of my original Gaelic songs and one translation of Once Upon a Dream over on Bandcamp. It’s a pay-what-you-want dealio!

Art

You may have seen my lil Solavellan art going around! You can get it on a T-shirt in my shop, along with other wee bits and bobs I’ve painted.

And, of course, if you want to just read my Solavellan long fic, you can do that here. 💕

[paracosmtooclosetothesun]

thoguhts on Hunter TOH :3 (I am asking about fictional characters)

YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE GIFT YOU HAVE JUST GIVEN ME. Thank youu!!!

Apologies in advance for this being so long but—

“Hunter is trans” is an ice cold take at this point but specifically he’s a trans boy who overcompensates by being Extra Masculine and having so much internalized misogyny. Good job Belos /sarc

School is perfect in his eyes. There are clearly established rules, a metric of success, and all he has to do to get the validation of all these adults is learn about things he’s interested in. He and Amity are tied for how many times they can raise their hand first. Of course it’s not perfect— he struggles with the social aspect and having no natural magic— but it clicks for him.

He likes to antagonize people. For fun. Specifically adults. He gets a rush of power and comfort for being able to tick people off and not have to fear consequences from it so sometimes he genuinely just acts like an asshole to establish that he has control over the situation. 

Him and Lilith make me actually insane. Remember that scene where Lilith was projecting about King’s dad in Keeping Up A-Fearances? Yeah, these two have similar issues and they’re both the bat and the hornet’s nest. 

I actually am not a huge fan of Hunter being a palisman carver because, I know I know it’s a way to counter the harm he was complicit in and he loves palismen, but it’s clearly a parallel to Caleb. A way to show how much he’s “like him”. And IIII don’t like that! In my heart he’s either a history teacher or a beast healer (wildlife biologist/veterinarian).

I personally headcanon him as having DID and have thought way too deeply about what alters he would have and how they would affect his day to day. Started with interpreting “I’ve heard that strong emotions can manifest” and researching mindscapes as someone trying to self diagnose and it expanded from there.

More about him and Lilith. They do not like each other BUT Lilith establishes a historical revisionism correction project using her time pool prowess and Hunter wants in on it. He would NOT pass up on a chance to visit the “Savage Ages” in person and take all the notes his little heart desires. Yes they reconcile but most importantly Hunter gets to time travel and gush about everything. They have to reconcile just so they each have someone to ramble to.

Hunter and Luz’s bond is everything to me. Calling it queerplatonic would be too specific. It’s absolute relationship anarchy. The only label you could possibly apply is “Do Not Separate”.

Yes I want Hunter to get therapy but he has to drag his feet every step of the way. This boy was raised by a Puritan in a military establishment, I want him to have the most old-fashioned, maladaptive, condescending opinions toward psychology ever. Journaling? Why don’t you punch the wall like a NORMAL person. 

Waffles was a “foster fail”, as my friend called it. Hunter was in need of a palisman as essentially a disability aid, and Waffles was in need of a caregiver. (Really, it’s impossible to tell who was fostering who.) Waffles is a feral kitten of a palisman who was Not treated well in the past and Hunter adamantly refuses to see her as His palisman for fear of disrespecting Flapjack. They have a rocky road of connecting with one another but there is love soso deep there and. I cry

He and Gus have the most obnoxious Hamilton phase ever. You put a theatre kid who’s fascinated by human culture and an ex-military history nerd together and suddenly they’re singing Guns and Ships.

Give that boy a wolf cut!!!

Andddd that is! More than enough! Thank you again for the ask <3 I am always happy to talk about the blorbos

[aj0elap0l0gist]

MEMORIES AND FAMILY - A TLOU X FEM!READER

Tags: angst, violence, weapons (bombs and shit), little bit of blood, Ellie being sassy, Joel being southern, reader has southern accent, the entire hospital sequence (Marlene being an asshole), Joel being a grumpy old man, nightmares (very very brief), Ellie hating coffee

lmk if I missed anything 🥹

WORD COUNT: 2.5K

Age rec: 15+?? Idk it’s my first time

summary: the end of tlou p1 but you’re in it! oh, and there’s a bit of romantic tension but we’ll ignore it, right?

a/n: hiii, it’s bitter! I’m so glad to share this with yall, and I’m also really nervous. please don’t hate (but constructive criticism is encouraged). I hope you enjoy this, and also, that mark watney fanfic is coming I swear!!!!

———————————————————————

MEMORIES AND FAMILY

prologue (part one of idk)

‘S okay, you’re safe, you’re safe.

You breathed heavily, panicked as yet another nightmare jolted you awake. Joel held the back of your head, whispering reassurances that the clickers that ripped your arteries out were just a part of your permanently anxious subconscious. You looked at your best friend, tears brimming in your eyes, yet you managed a weak, reassuring smile that you were better. 

Same nightmare? Joel asked. You nodded, breathing in through your nose. 

Yeah, but ‘s okay, Joel, she whispered, as to not wake Ellie. The teenage redhead stirred slightly, rolling over in her sleeping bag. 

You sure, sweet pea? Joel asked. You nodded. 

We’re in the middle o’ nowhere, Joel. No clickers gonna find us here. Joel rolled his eyes and sighed, nodding at her to signal she should fall asleep. You lied back down, letting out a long breath before closing your eyes, the small fire crackling lowly. 

The next morning, the smell of stale coffee filled the forest air, and you woke up as Ellie groaned disgustedly.

 How do you drink this stuff? She covered herself with the blanket, trying to block the earthy smell from her nose. You sat up groggily, and smiled at Joel, who was busy mumbling grumpily under his breath about how coffee is the best thing anyone could ever drink and cooking a can of Chef Boyardee’s Ravioli on the makeshift camping stove. You yawned, and got up, rolling your sleeping bag up to prepare for another day of walking. 

C’mon, honey. ‘S time to get up. After we eat, we’re off. You said, nudging Ellie, who was still buried in her blanket. The teenager glared playfully at you before slowly rising, following suit as she put her stuff back in her pack. Joel whistled a high note from where he was cooking, and waved the two girls over.

 C’mon, eat before this food gets cold. Joel said, handing them both small travel plates filled with a rationed serving of the food. Ellie ate quickly, practically breathing in the pasta.

 Calm down, kiddo. Food ain’t goin’ anywhere. Joel laughed, and Ellie flipped him off playfully. 

It’s going in my stomach. She said, and Joel shrugged. You finished your food, smiling at the small family the three had become over the past 8 months. What started off as a simple job evolved into a bond that you didn’t  think could ever be replicated. After the group finished eating, they started again on their journey to find the Fireflies. For a while, the walk was quiet, save for the occasional stumble or painfully corny joke told by Ellie. 

Hey, I know you guys don’t really like talking about before, but what was your favorite food? Ellie asked curiously. You laughed, and Joel smiled. 

Our favorite food? Joel grinned, raising an eyebrow. Ellie sighed. 

Fine, sorry I asked, old man. You let out a low whistle. 

Wow, right for the jugular, huh, kid? You laughed. 

I don’ know about you, Joel, but I used to absolutely love Pop-Tarts. Ellie looked confused. 

What’s a Pop-Tart? You sighed dreamily, and looked up at the forest canopy. 

A Pop-Tart was this… packaged pastry. It had frosting on the top, an’ a filling inside. The best flavor was Strawberry, an’ no-one can tell me otherwise. You shook her head, smiling. Joel scoffed. 

Pop-Tarts were just straight sugar. Provided nothin’ for anyone’s health. You rolled your eyes. 

Oh, fine, Mr. Health Nut. What was your favorite food, then? You challenged him playfully. Joel sighed, thinking. 

Well, I’d hafta say the pancakes I used to get at the IHop near where my house was. They were softer than a cloud, an’ when you put syrup on them-

An’ you say I was unhealthy?

Hush up, will you? Never said I got ‘em every day.

Ellie smirked at the banter, and for a moment, it was as if they were simply on a camping trip, rather than a mission to potentially create a cure using Ellie’s blood.

A couple weeks later, the trio were walking through an old military camp from one of the first days of the Outbreak. You were quiet, your shoulders tensed. Ellie walked slightly ahead, and Joel walked with his best friend. 

You alright, sweet pea? He asked quietly. You nodded. 

Yeah, ‘m fine. Just.. ‘s weird bein’ here. Like a time capsule, but the size of a city block. You looked around. The tarp tents looked almost pathetic, in a way, as well as innocent. You scoffed, walking past the flimsy metal fence. 

Can’t believe we all thought we’d be safe in tarp tents. You shook your head, and Joel smiled softly. 

Yeah, I guess it is pretty ridiculous. The two went quiet, until Joel broke the silence again. 

Where were you? He asked. At your confused expression, he clarified his question. 

I mean, when the outbreak happened. You looked away, and at Ellie, who was looking at old binders. 

I was at home, in New Orleans. My mom left me an’ my 14-year old brother home alone while she went on a trip to Cancun with her boyfriend. I panicked, as we didn’t exactly have a car. We ended up packin’ one bag each an’ hopped on our bikes. We were goin’ as far as we could, an’ barely left the neighborhood when this Runner comes outta god-knows-where, an’ barrels into my brother. Instead o’ tryin’ to fight the said runner, I kept goin’ until I got to one o’ these camps like a coward. You went quiet, biting your lip to prevent the tears that threatened to fall. Joel put a hand on her shoulder. 

No, no, no, sweet pea. That ain’t your fault. You weren’ a coward. That’s another level o’ bravery. You couldn’t control where Runners came out from, or- or where your brother was at a specific moment in time. Joel said reassuringly, and Ellie walked over before you could respond.

 I think we’re getting close to the Fireflies, Joel. I found a stop sign with their symbol on it. Ellie said, jutting a thumb in the general direction of the said sign. You breathed in, looking at Joel and nodding. 

Well, let’s not keep ‘em waitin’, right? She said, smiling softly. Ellie smiled, and walked off, the two adults following her. Ellie turned back toward the two, and in her hand was No Pun Intended: Volume Too. 

I think, since I’m about to save the world, we need some jokes before I become too famous and never have time to talk to you two. Ellie grinned, and Joel rolled his eyes, nodding at her to continue. Ellie dramatically opened the book, clearing her throat.

People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow. She said, and you grimaced jokingly. 

Too soon? Ellie tilted her head. 

No, it’s topical, Joel butted in, smiling. Ellie flipped through a few other pages, until she grinned comically. 

Why did the scarecrow get an award? Ellie asked, looking expectantly at the two. Joel rolled his eyes. 

Uh… he was… outstanding in his field. Joel and you laughed at Ellie’s shocked expression. 

Did you read this? Ellie exclaimed incredulously. Joel shook his head, and you smiled. Suddenly, a click, followed by a hiss sounded behind them. Joel looked behind them, and spotted an air bomb. He quickly ducked, pushing you and Ellie to the ground as the boom filled the air, along with gas. You blinked, your ears ringing. You swore you heard Ellie yelling in the distance, but it sounded so far away. You started to get up, feeling dizzy, before you felt the hard butt of a gun connect with your skull.

You jolted awake, the overgrown outdoors replaced with an aged hospital room. You sat up, and Marlene sat in the chair, one leg up.

 Take it slow, You. My guys didn’t know who you were. You got hit pretty hard. You looked at Marlene, confused as to where Joel and Ellie were. 

Where am I? You asked, your voice hoarse. Marlene looked at the guard that stood at the door. 

St. Mary’s Hospital. She replied. You looked around.

Care to explain where Joel an’ Ellie are? She narrowed her eyes slightly. Marlene crossed her arms, matching her expression. 

Joel’s still asleep. As for Ellie.. she’s just starting to wake up. You looked at her for a moment. 

Can you take me to ‘em, or you gonna make me sit here an’ wait for the next moon landing? Marlene sighed. 

I can take you to Joel. But not Ellie. 

An’ why exactly is that?

Marlene closed her eyes. I don’t want her seeing anyone before surgery. She said the last word gently, almost meek in a way. You stood up. What the he- She was cut off by the guard, who pushed her to the ground. Marlene glared at him before nodding at the door. He took the hint and resumed his post. 

The doctors think that the cordyceps Ellie has have mutated. The cordyceps that tried infecting her when she got bit think she’s a cordycep, and it’s why she’s immune. If we can extract it from her, the doctors can replicate the mutation and- and make a cure. Your eyes widened slightly, the realization dawning on you.

Cordyceps grow inside the brain. She whispered. Marlene nodded. 

Find someone else.

 If I could, I would, but there is no one else. You looked down.

 So, you’re goin’ to kill her. For what, a 30% chance of this thing workin’? Marlene scoffed, and put her head in her hand. 

30% is better than 0, isn’t it? You glared at Marlene. 

You take me to her right now! To both of ‘em. You raised your voice, standing up. Marlene pulled her gun out of her holster, and aimed it at you.

Don’t make a stupid choice, You. You did your job. Let us do ours. Marlene warned. You took a step back. 

I didn’t know this job entailed killin’ a dang kid, Marlene.

Marlene lowered her gun, and looked at the guard. Make sure she doesn’t leave this place. She said sternly, and the guard nodded.

Next thing you knew, the sound of gunshots echoed through the hospital hall, and the guard at your door fell to the ground, limp. Joel opened the door, and pulled you into a quick hug, handing her the worn pack. 

C’mon, let’s go get our girl, huh? Joel said, giving you a shotgun. You smiled. 

Gladly, cowboy. The two charged through the hospital, shooting any Firefly that they came across. Quickly, Joel led You to the pediatric department, and they barged into the operating room. Gun aimed, they stared at the doctor and two nurses. 

All o’ you, turn around and put your hands up. You sternly said. The nurses followed orders, but the doctor panicked, picking up a scalpel. 

I- I can’t let you take her. He shakily said. Joel lifted his pistol and shot him, the nurses yelping fearfully. Joel quickly picked Ellie up off the table, disconnecting the various tubes from her arms. You quickly stopped the bleeding on your arm by putting on a few bandaids. The two quickly hurried out of the hospital, and headed down to the parking garage on the ground floor. You spotted an SUV, and they started to jog toward it, until a certain Firefly came around the corner. 

Joel, you don’t want to do this. Marlene said, her pistol raised. Joel stopped walking, and you stood slightly in front of him. 

You can still do the right thing. Both of you. Marlene breathed. 

We don’t kill kids. An’ either way, a little girl’s fate ain’t yours to decide, Marlene. You shook your head, and Marlene narrowed her eyes. 

It isn’t yours to decide either.  At that, Joel’s eyes flickered with acknowledgment. 

And you know it. Marlene tilted her head, tears in her eyes. You looked back at Joel. 

Go get her in the car, cowboy. You said. Joel shook his head, about to protest. 

I’ll be right behind you. Promise. 

Joel sighed, and reluctantly turned around, hurrying to the SUV. Once he was gone, you turned back to Marlene. 

He doesn’t know, does he-

That ain’t any of your business. Anyways, Joel and I got places to be. So, I’m afraid that I’m gonna have to kill you now.

Marlene’s eyes widened, and she took a step back, but before she got far, you shot her in the stomach. For a few moments, she begged for mercy, blood smeared on the ground.

You’d just come after her.

You and Joel sat in the front seats of the SUV, quiet. Joel rested his head on one hand as he drove, and you struggled to stay awake despite the sunniness. You and Joel both looked in the rear view mirror as they heard Ellie stir. The redhead sat up slowly, groggy from the anesthesia.

What happened?

You looked away from the rearview mirror, and Joel carried the conversation, framing the careful lie the two adults had crafted as truth. Ellie looked too tired and drained to be physically distraught, but the glint that faded from her eyes said it all. She let out a soft oh and lied back down on the backseat, facing the backrest and going back to sleep. Joel looked at you, who shrugged silently. He looked back at the road, and the rest of the drive out of Salt Lake City was silent.

TEN MILES AWAY FROM JACKSON, WYOMING

Joel huffed annoyedly, lifting his head from the hood of the old car. 

Well, looks like she’s tapped out. Gonna have to walk the rest of the way. Should only be a few hours though. We’ve done worse.

You smiled at your best friend, and nodded at Ellie. 

C’mon, kiddo. Don’t wanna be the last one back to civilization, right?

You said, and Ellie looked up from her scar, grinning. If Ellie was one thing, it was competitive. The two girls raced to the creek, and then to the tree they used to climb up onto the hill. Joel caught up, and they all started walking toward Jackson. 

Hey, wait.

You and Joel looked back at Ellie. Your smile dropped at Ellie’s somber expression, and she turned fully toward the teenager.

Back in Boston—back when I was bitten—I wasn't alone. My best friend was there. And she got bit too. We didn't know what to do. So… She says, "Let's just wait it out. Y'know, we can be all poetic and just lose our minds together." I'm still waiting for my turn.

Joel looked at Ellie sadly, and shook his head. 

None of that is on you, Ellie.

You nodded in support of his statement, and spoke up.

Both of us struggled for a long, long time with survivin’. But no matter what, you keep findin’ something to fight for. Now that might not be what you wanna-

Swear to me. Both of you. Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.

You looked taken aback, as did Joel. But after a moment, they both nodded, and promised her. Ellie nodded slightly, and she hesitated for a minute, analyzing them. Finally, she sighed. 

Okay.

[lunerna21]

***I'm going to apologize now this is probably a long post but I just need to vent about this masterpiece of an event!***

I can full heartedly say Glorious Masquerade is giving me life again 😌

JUST EVERYONE BEING SUPER FUNNY AND NICE TO THE MC BUT I CANNOT STOP GUSHING ABOUT EVERYTHING INVOLVING THIS EVENT!!

FIRST OF ALL, I LOVE HOW MUCH OF A SWEETHEART DEUCE IS TO US!

DEUCE SPADE IS SOMEONE EVERYONE NEEDS IN THEIR LIFE HE IS JUST ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE AND I LOVE LOVE LOVEEE HIM

*cough* *cough* Unlike ANOTHER person who is a cheeky asshole who should learn from Deuce (I’m kidding I love you too Ace you stupid bastard)

The Grim and Malleus banter back and forth is fucking hysterical from us freaking out about not knowing who Malleus was previously to messing around ITS SO GODDAMN PERFECT

AND MALLEUS BEING SO INTERESTED IN SPENDING TIME WITH US LIKE ALCHENFIENDJ I LOVE YOU MALLEUS!!

(And Grim being protective of us 🥹❤️)

And Idia trying to convince Grim to sit in his lap 😂👏🏻

SEBEK ASKING AZUL TO SIT IN HIS LAP SO HE CAN BE CLOSE TO WAKA SAMA!? CRYING AT HOW SERIOUS SEBEK WAS!

I’d like to imagine we were sandwiched between Rollo and Malleus MY GOD THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM WOULD IGNITE THE WHOLE TOWN

Also, was anyone else crying and cringing deep DEEP inside when they keep saying so many good things about “The Righteous Judge”!?!

LIKE I WAS SEETHING AT THE FACT THAT EVERYONE COMPLIMENTED HIM AND KEPT GIVING HIM PRAISE

LIKE NO GRIM YOU ARE MORE GALLANT THAN THAT CREEPY OLD MAN PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT

IF ONLY THEY KNOW WHAT THAT MAN HAD DONE I HATE HOW OFTEN THEY COMPLIMENT HIM I JUST WANNA LAUNCH MYSELF THROUGH THE GAME AND DESTROY THAT DAMN STATUE

......But at least they're giving tons of lore, easter eggs and praise for both Esmeralda and Quasimodo (BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY ACTUALLY DESERVE IT)

But Rollo just trying to convince us that there shouldn't be magic or mages....

…..Rollo honey noooooo that’s not how I see it

I mean yes, we’ve been through so much goddamn shit with the overblotters (CROWLEY AND ALSO ADEUCE ALONG WITH GRIM, I LOVE YOU GUYS BUT LIKE WTF) but to the point of subjugating people to potentially lose their magic permanently?!

Something they’ve probably worked hard for? Nah, that’s not okay

I would love to learn more about magic anything beats the curriculum in schools here in the US

THEN SEEING HOW MALLEUS ALMOST PASSED OUT FROM THE FIRELOTUSES!? THAT HAD ME REELING LIKE MALLEUS DRACONIA HIMSELF!? LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE!!

YASSSSS SILVER AND SEBEK! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!! MALLEUS HAS THE BEST GUARDS

BUT ONE FUCKING PART HAD ME ON MY KNEES READY TO FIGHT ROLLO!!

CARD SOLDIER!? CARD SOLDIERRRRR!?!

MY BOI IS BECOMING A MAN

MY BOI IS BECOMING A MAN

MY BOI IS BECOMING A MAN AND I CAN'T STOP BEING HAPPY FOR HIM EVEN THOUGH HE'S IN THE MIDST OF DANGER

…But anyway I’m getting psyched to see the last two parts cause this event is FULFILLING MY HAPPINESS ITS TOO MUCH

And Malleus Draconia….My sweetheart…❤️❤️❤️

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE IS JUST TOO MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN!!! ❤️❤️❤️

I cannot wait for the next part of the event, IM DYING TO SEE JAMIL AND RUGGIE BOND OVER USING OTHERS TO KEEP THEMSELVES SAFE!!

Now let me go daydream scenarios with all these lovable people while I wait for the next part, AND FINALLY WATCH THE FIRST PART OF STAGE IN PLAYFUL LAND! (ACE TRAPPOLA I NEED TO SEE YOUR SPOTLIGHT)

Enjoy the rest of your day, everyone~~~!!!❤️

[beevean]

Lenore, Hector and Alucard are by far the biggest victims of the sudden 180 in direction done by Season 4, both due to the team probably wanting to give everyone a "happy ending" at any cost after Season 3 got criticized for being glorified torture porn, and also due to Ellis leaving mid way, which most likely caused other writers to have to fill in the gaps

I'm particularily convinced that the Lenector stuff was added by the other writers because it literally has no sense of organicity with the dynamic as it was written by Ellis in S3, which was still shit, but this feels like a completely different kind of shit. Ellis liked his misery porn, he doesn't strike me as the type to suddenly turn and write a cutesy fluffy ship between an abuser and her victim, even considering his...background. You'd think he'd have doubled down even more on the edgy bullshit, but Lenector as it is in S4 feels like the kind of stuff a stereotypical crazy shipper on social media would write, which leads me to imagine that Lenector was added after the asshole's departure because some folks at Powerhouse really thought the two looked so cute together

Alucard's and Isaac's stories give me the impression that the writers needed more time to bring their vision to fruition, but for one reason or another they rushed things. Alucard takes one episode to get over his trauma and the implication that he'd be grappling with mistrust and misanthropy is never addressed, Isaac becomes Jesus overnight and then peaces out in the middle of the season after an epic speech. However, if I imagine being a viewer who has just finished S3 and has to wait a year to see how it ends, I can imagine their development happening, just not this sloppily.

The Lenector plotline is too jarring. Part of me still believes that this one screenshot:

was meant to echo Hector's "flashback" of him killing his parents, and be a hint of him going on a blazing rampage.

Which, in theory, happens! But 1) it's for the sake of resurrecting Dracula, after two seasons spent getting beaten over the head that he lied to him and wanted to destroy mankind (which makes his horror at Carmilla's plan of conquering the world immensely hypocritical); 2) despite having complete control of his Night Creatures, he still leaves the "epic" flight to Isaac, who at this point has ascended to the status of Creator's Pet; 3), most importantly, the scene makes a fine point that Lenore is special to him and she must be protected, after the previous six episodes showed them "bonding" and conveniently ignoring all the abuse, forced BDSM and treachery she used to trap him. All together it feels like a subversion for the sake of a subversion, like they kept the original idea but made it less dark at the last minute. And I could have accepted it as a subversion of expectations, if there was more focus on Hector's character (hah) and less focus on how ✨cute✨ they were or how 🥺sad🥺 poow widdle Lenore was. Considering that from what I heard she became a fan-favorite overnight, in theory because of her "nuance" but let's be real it's because she's "hot", I can absolutely see the writers deciding to make her more sympathetic in an attempt to make them happy. If S3 feels like an amateurish torture porn fic on FF.net, S4 def feels like a coffee shop AU lmao.

I don't know what happened in S4. I don't know if they had planned a 5th season, but were forced to condense everything in one: perhaps with one more season, the transition between "I made you into my pet! :D" and "This is why I like you. You're capable of actually listening to me 🥺" would have made more sense. I don't know if other writers entered the fray, even though Ellis is the only one credited in S4. I don't know if Ellis himself was strongarmed into writing fluffy shit because the executives heard the complaints that S3 was poorly received due to being a cynical waste of time - ironically, erasing all conflicts made that season even more of a waste of time.

We can theorize. But much like a rushed game is still a faulty product not deserving of full price even if you can pity the working conditions of the devs, the final result of NFCV is of a rushed, poorly paced, poorly thought-out mess that ended up making an offensive joke of the serious themes it wanted to include.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi!! For the past 8 months I’ve had a messy on and off thing w this girl. She was the first girl I ever had hooked up with & first person I’ve ever fell in love with. I always had trouble navigating the relationship bc I am used to fuckboys and having to work around boys being assholes & have no prior experience w girls romantically. We are on an off period rn and I am absolutely gutted. None of my friends or family have been with a girl so they don’t understand how much more devastating the heart break is with girls than it is guys. Do u have any advice on how to get over ur first woman heartbreak? I am so sad I will never find a connection with someone like I had with her.

I can't speak from any sort of bisexual experience since I don't have any connection to men beyond friendship but as a lesbian I can understand how, perhaps, a woman with sexual attraction to men and women would feel a closer connection with women. Having shared experiences and emotional pattern would lead to having a more intimate relationship, both physically and emotionally.

The age old answer of TIME is pretty accurate. I would suggest not dating anyone and taking some time to focus on things that you love whether that is your career, school, classes, friends, hobbies or whatever.

I have certainly had a powerful connection to a woman and thought to myself that I would never find another only to meet a woman with whom I not only had a deeper bond but who was able to love me for me and make me feel always safe and that we had a mutual passion.

Break ups are not failures. Not all relationships are meant to last a life time and that does not make them any less real or important, it just means they ran their course.

It sounds like, at the root of it, you two are never going to commit to being each other's one and only and that is not a judgement call. Not all two people who find love with one another are compatible. Often Love really is NOT enough.

You need to decide. You can continue in this cycle of on and off and be okay with that being how it is OR you can break it off and move on to heal and look for something more fulfilling and befitting of what you really want which is to be in a full time committed relationship with a woman.

Healing will take time and distance. Friendship between you is possible but not always the best or a feasible option. You can always circle back around to friendship once you have put the relationship aspects in the past.

[pro-mammonologist]

I wanted to answer your “would you really date the obey me Boys” question in an ask if that’s okay 🥺

For mammon, who is my absolute favorite. He would piss me off so badly in the beginning with how rude and stubborn he is, I just would hold a grudge. It would take me a very long time with us warming up to eachother to even be friends. Eventually maybe we could be something more when he opens up.

Solomon is another one of my favorites but irl I think he’d weird me out. Like he’d give me creepy vibes.

I would have the BIGGEST crush on Lucifer but would be so turned off by his personality bc he’s very brash.

Barbatos and I would never connect bc we are both quiet. It would take us a ridiculously long time to get to know eachother. But I would probably still have a crush on him.

I would find Levi incredibly irritating. I hate people who are overly self deprecating and I would think he’s rude. Eventually we would bond over needy stuff but we would absolutely never date.

Irl I do not like blondes so no Satan

Asmos and I would just be besties

Beel is not my type irl but I would think he’s so sweet I’d probably have a little crush

Absolutely fucking not for Belphie. I would hate him and think he’s so rude. A big one I only like in theory.

I’d like to think Simeon and I have a chance, but I think he’s way too nice for me.

And for Dia, I am very quiet so his loudness and big personality would definitely scare me.

But I read fics about all of them expect for asmo. He’s just really not my type. But in my head I can change the senarios to fit exactly what I want to I can work out with all of them. I am in a poly relationship with all of them in my head.

Lemme give my two sense too.

So I would think Lucifer is so hot and he’d turn me on so badly but then I’d see how he’s such as asshole to his brothers and I don’t really fuck with tough love all that much. After he softens up later then I’d go back to being turned on all the time.

Mammon would annoy me with his ego but seeing his personality and like his actual morals and stuff would make me mega attracted to him. His spending is my only problem just cuz I grew up poor and stuff.

Levi is like the guys I’d usually attract and I know I’d be uncomfy because I prefer people who have it more together like as much as I relate to the recluse vibes I need people who aren’t as afraid of the world cuz I’m TERRIFIED.

Satan is probably who I’d date fr fr. He’s basically a less mean version of Lucifer that really likes cats and he’s a lot less sadistic period. He probably is the most likely to share my political beliefs as well. (Mammon would too because he gives so much anarchistic vibes, Satan needs some structure)

Asmo would be my bff and I’d be scared to fuck him because I just know his standards are high. Would be horny with him all the time though.

Beel is perfect for real but he’s like too soft and sweet. I need someone with more personality and a bigger presence.

Belphie is a definite no. I enjoy sleeping and chilling and I get wanting to rest all the time cuz I’m like chronically fatigued but his “fuck everything” attitude pisses me off. He also seems to be very passive aggressive and I hate that shit.

Diavolo is probably also ideal for me minus the literal royal status of his. I hate hate hate hierarchies and rich people but Dia is so open and kind and not to mention progressive so I lowkey would vibe with him hard. I would absolutely wanna be dicked down regularly by him.

Barb is great but since he’s so hard working I feel like I would be lacking in a relationship with him. I’m more laid back and lenient and he’s not.

Simeon is cool and is also someone I’d realistically date but something about him just screams token gay friend. That’s the dynamic I feel I’d have with him.

Solomon is someone who I used to hate but in nightbringer I’m like “ooookkkaaaayyyyy” cuz he’s slowly becoming more my type. I think I would also find him creepy at first but then after some time id def get a lil 👀

So really

Lucifer: not at first, later on

Mammon: not at first, later on, but would be ideal for me

Levi: no

Satan: yes

Asmo: no

Beel: eh but would fuck fs

Belphie: no

Dia: yes

Barb: no

Simeon: ?

Solomon: yes later on

[regulusstarz]

Luciane!! I love her! best girl behavior

Interested (if you're willing) in hearing more about the family dynamic pre and post-marigold? any type of bond with shiloh?

(Sorry im on anon i get nervous 😔)

Don't worry, i can understand being nervous!! I deeply appreciate the ask anyways <3

I don't quite know about pre-Marigold because I'd basically just be talking about her childhood. BUT i can tell you: Luciane doesn't have contact nor does she care for her biological mother. She wants nothing to do with her and her mother is on the same side. That's why Luciane has always clinged to her father so much. She craved love that would usually be given by 2 people from a single person, but Lynn was able to manage it, which made her adore him even further.

Ill describe the different steps of post-Marigold. (Kinda sounds like we're talking about an apocalypse, haha)

Early beginning: Luciane was already a little weirded out when Marigold and her father started talking more than Lynn did with any other teacher. She was still pretty okay with it, it's good that her father was finally making some friends!

When they DID started dating, it was around the time where Luciane had begun closing herself off from majority of the people in her life and hanging around her friends more.

Somewhat middle: Luciane absolutely HATED Marigold. It's basically a pretty drastic change very quickly, and she does overreact as a teenager. She thought that Marigold will start taking Lynn's time all to herself, worst of all maybe even trying to be a mother to Luciane. Marigold Ofcourse did try to be nice and get along with Luce, but im pretty sure it's obvious how good that goes.

A year later, The two get married. Luciane's hate mellows out a bit. She's had time to get used to Marigold and she could tell Lynn really loved his wife. But that didn't really stop her from ranting to her father about his own wife (please help him he is under DISTRESS). But yay to the other teachers, because Luciane actually listens to Marigold! Somewhat atleast. So if Lynn is not available, they'll call up Marigold instead. Even though the success of that heavily depends on Luciane's mood that day.

When she's around 17, close to finishing school, she accepts Marigold. She's still a bit akward around her, but does wish to see her as her mother in some way. They still have a LOT to go through, but atleast Lynn doesn't have to pray anymore anytime Luciane comes into his office.

I mostly went into Luciane's feelings, haha. But for some insight on the parents: im sure both of them were upset to some degree over Luciane not accepting her mother. And Lynn was definitely under stress during that time.

I hope that explained some things!!

So, when Shiloh still went to SSB, Luciane was still around 5-6 years old. So they didn't really have a reason to interact with one another.

BUT, they do interact when Shiloh is an adult! Im gonna do 2 versions of him.

- shy : this is the version that gets along the most with Luciane, because they both greatly benefit from eachother. Shy can post about Luciane (mostly just reffered to as "little sister", and barely ever is a picture shown. Even then the face is blurred out), giving him more people that like and follow him. In return, Shiloh can take her out to go shopping and generally buy her stuff, Which obviously Luciane enjoys greatly. Lynn takes Luciane to see him during summer break and occasionally during the holidays, if they're not too busy.

- "normal Shiloh" (acts the same way he did in high school): Luciane feels pretty akward around him. She can't really tell wether or not he should have value to her, and she can tell that majority of what he says is not what he thinks. She mostly just does her best to avoid him.

Luciane can handle the asshole versions of shiloh better than the normal ones, haha.

Though the relationship does change when Luciane isn't a teenager anymore. She gets more busy with her life, so she doesn't have a lot of time for Shy, but they do stay in contact. Multiple years of benefiting each other can make you close, no?

With "normal" shiloh, it most likely stays the same. She's not as akward around him, but still has better things to do than talk with him.

_

It was a pretty long talk, but i sincerely enjoy speaking about Her! As i said, I've been working on her lore for MONTHS, so i have quite a bit to say. I really enjoyed it tho, thank you for the ask <3

[jadejedi]

Sci-Fi Book Review: Ocean's Echo by Everina Maxwell

JJ’s rating 5/5

How feral did it make me: 5/5. 6/5. 1000/5.

My book reviews

Okay, this was another book I read in my search for something to make me as feral as A Taste of Gold and Iron did. And guys…. oh my god. Oh my gOD! This book…is perfect to me. I read some reviews of Everina Maxwell’s first book, Winter’s Orbit, including one hilarious one that called it “too slow burn” (a better endorsement I couldn’t ask for), but I was hesitant because it is also an arranged marriage story, and I was worried that maybe that trope just isn’t for me unless there’s some serious enemies to lovers going on with it. So instead, I read this one, because the summary seemed way more my speed. And BOY was I right!

So, the summary: Tennal is an asshole socialite desperately trying to find anything to distract him from his troubles. He lives in a society where the military has created two types of neuro-modified people: those who can read minds (readers) and those who can control minds (architects). People who aren’t neuro-modified are called neutrals. For reasons that are explored in the book, readers are not trusted by society. When Tennal is conscripted into the military, he is ordered to sync with an architect, which is an irreversible procedure that will mentally tie him to another person forever. The architect the army chooses? The galaxy’s goodest boy and the son of a notorious traitor, Surit Yeni. Surit is very morally upright and has a very clear view of right and wrong. When he realizes that Tennal is being forced into the sync, he offers to fake the sync until they can find a way for him to escape. Basically, fake dating, except instead of dating, it's soul bonds.

Guys. GUYS. This book is so, so, so good. The relationship between Tennal and Surit is absolutely a very slow burn. I believe the author described it as something like a low heat romance, which is accurate. Like, the romance is at the very center of the book, but not in a “they want to rip each other’s clothes off for most of the book” kind of way (though there’s not none of that tbf). It’s more of a “they slowly develop a bond built on trust and respect that slowly turns into love” kind of way. Like if their romance is a pot of water on the stove, the burner is on the whole time, but it’s on low. It’s a SIMMER. The whole book is about these two characters who are carrying around these personal burdens of “no one could love me because of X”, only to have all those layers stripped away. Everything that they were using to keep the world at a distance, removed. FUCK. Despite being a book in which the characters don’t do more than kiss a few times, this relationship had me FROTHING AT THE MOUTH levels of rabid, feral gremlin. The “we hate each other because we have been thrown into a circumstance where conflict was inevitable and our personalities clash and we get off on the wrong foot” to “oh wow this person is… so much more than I could have expected.” to “I absolutely respect and trust this person more than maybe anyone else” to “I love him” is PERFECT. GOD. Okay this is kind of a spoiler, but has anyone seen this tiktok? Because minus the shape shifting aliens bit, I fully believe Everina Maxwell based Ocean’s Echo on that tiktok (if you care about spoilers, do not watch until after you’ve read the book). 

I also want to mention that Everina Maxwell is out here writing ART. The prose in this book is great. Most of the time it doesn’t super stand out (in a good way), but then there will be a line that just punches you right in the gut. There are lines that I am still thinking about over a week later. 

I guess I should also talk about the plot. Maybe. I guess. The plot is great. Much more developed than I have come to expect from sci-fi/fantasy romances. On the scale of “sci-fi with romance” to “romance with sci-fi”, I would put this one pretty squarely in the middle. Like, the plot is intense. There is a lot of lore and mysteries to unravel in this one. You do actually have to focus to follow along with all the politics and scheming and science shenanigans that happen. But it’s a good time! It was tense when it needed to be, the pacing was great, and the payoff was satisfying. 

If I were to make some comparisons of this book, I would say that Tennal and Surit kind of remind me of Laurent and Damen from Captive Prince. Tennal, like Laurent, hides trauma and pain behind a very prickly persona. Surit, like Damen, is a good person living and thriving in a not-so-good system, until a prickly ASSHOLE comes along and makes him reevaluate. Like Damen and Laurent, neither Tennal nor Surit want to be in the situation that brings them together, and like Damen and Laurent, they both hate each other upon meeting. Also, Tennal and Surit have to work together in a military situation like Damen and Laurent, and it is during this time that they learn to trust and respect each other. I’m not a huge sci-fi reader for the most part, so I don’t really have other sci-fi books to compare it to, but I would say don’t let the genre scare you off if you don’t normally read sci-fi. 

I am BEGGING people to read this book. There are like, 13 fics for it on Ao3 and all of them are great, but I would love for this book to have a bigger fandom. Read it!! Do yourself the favor!!!!!!!

Here is a stupid meme I made for anyone who, like myself, has gone through the entirety of the “Ocean’s Echo” tag on the author’s tumblr:

[furryprovocateur]

my cup cumeth over

what is there to say about kinship's bond, one of my favorite defend chapters in the series? it was absolute agony to do this chapter because while you don't HAVE to kill eubans, you absolutely want to because a. he drops a knight crest b. boss kill experience c. the chapter ends the second he dies d. the chapter turn requirement is the max amount of turns spent defending, so basically as long as you kill him before turn 10 enemy phase, you'll be saving at least one turn, if not multiple. the problem is that he's basically in the asshole of the chapter, being surrounded by forest squares and being in the very corner of the map whereas you start near nearly the opposite side. still, getting to him isn't hard if you overextend with marcus/any other non-isadora paladin you might have by this point and just haul ass with a javelin, hand axe, and iron axe equipped at various points. if anything, the hardest part is surviving with everyone up to that point.

LMAO JK did you think i was serious? the hardest part is the dicerolling for killing eubans because i cannot tell you how many times i got to the end only to see "sain is attacking eubans. he has a 70%-80% hit rate and he only has to hit once and is doubling. OOPS he missed both hits" or even better the classic "both hits missed on the enemy phase and now you can't kill him because the forest square he attacked you from is preventing a 1RKO LOL haha". i swear to god it's not even HHM or the ranked run that's making my blood fucking boil, it's the fucking probability always swinging against me in the most fucking improbable circumstances. i had like 2 80%s miss then a 30% to kill hit me. i just. i know it gets exhausting to see me complain about RNG in this game but holy fucking CUNT FUCK does it incense me. like i cannot overstate how mad it makes me because i'm literally not making any mistakes and still losing because of it. i'm trying so so so hard not to mald harder but whatever.

heath got a level and change and got good stats. the plan is to use the shit out of him next chapter by prepping him with a barrier and letting him go to town on as many of the magic units that he can. iirc he's not gonna be doubling but if i give him the short spear, he might be 1HKOing until he either can 1HKO with the javelin or double. isadora meanwhile did 2 things for me this chapter: she used a nearly broken iron sword to kill an annoying mage and then she hauled ass to the secret shop to buy a bunch of shit with the silver card (another physic, two torch staves, two barriers, and a 5 use chest key (i'm going to need this for BBD and NOF i imagine)). the best part about buying a bunch of shit with the silver card is that it doesn't cost any money due to how the game calculates funds, so even if i am overbuying, i'm just making my liquid gold solid.

last thing to note: we're in red alert territory because my collective lord levels are only at 46 right now and FFO is right around the corner. i need to average getting 2 level in living legend and genesis. i THINK this is fairly doable considering there's two berserker bosses next turn and i think i can at least get lyn to kill one of them, ideally eliwood would be able to tank out the other one. the biggest problem is living legend has a short turn count so i have to be quick, but i also need to make sure i'm hitting the experience benchmark. i'll burn turns if i HAVE to, but i want to avoid that at all costs. at the same time, i absolutely refuse to do lloyd's FFO, so the conflicting desires there are gonna come to a head soon.