#the twins are both sooo fucked up but i LIKE that theyre fucked up in different ways!

[kaseyskat]

many of yall either already know this or probably could've guessed by my general thoughts and census in this fandom but! i am putting this here for the record: i strongly, STRONGLY believe lark was the one training hero with sparrow's biggest crime being encouraging/actively letting it happen, and here's why.

one of my favorite things to do with media and like. god especially dndads? is connect puzzle pieces of information, draw connections between scenes and base my thoughts entirely around my conclusions. not taking stuff at face value is my entire MO! i think it's fun to analyze situations and the characters and use prior information to figure out Why they are doing what they are doing in any given scenario. because of this, my favorite characters tend to be ones who aren't usually given that nuance in their respective fandoms, and it's definitely a big part of why i gravitate towards sparrow so much! i do feel like most of sparrow's actions get taken at face value without thought as to WHY he's acting the way he does in canon, something that is afforded to most of the other kiddads pretty easily.

because of this, when hero was first said to be the chosen one and speculation about her birth began to circulate, i reevaluated the canon material, reflected, and made a decision of what i personally believed to be true as shown in canon prior to this episode. and that decision, ultimately, was this: the twins trained hero because she was born to be the savior of the world, but lark was the one who really took charge while sparrow is ultimately the one to put a stop to it. so far, as of ep37, this opinion of mine has not changed.

"but nyx, hero blames them equally!" i know this! and i'm not saying sparrow is blameless in the matter, i just personally believe that his involvement was mostly limited to things like. taking hero places. bandaging her wounds when she got banged up in training. being COMPLACENT but not actively the one to train her. and, ultimately, when she was unhappy and this was going to ruin her, it is sparrow who recognizes this and puts a stop to her training before it can change her as a person, because it is sparrow who has seen the consequences! first with grant, and then with lark.

and ultimately, to me. to me! it makes sense. i love lark to pieces, i find him fascinatingly complex, but i feel like sometimes his treatment in the fandom... varies a lot? from the treatment sparrow gets? and i think there is something Very Real about lark being the leader of hero's training. for one, we know that lark wanted normal to be trained as well, even offering to teach him "valuable skills" in the very first episode of season 2. we know he disapproves of the way sparrow parented normal- not because sparrow's a bad parent, but because he was too SOFT. sparrow says lark is the one in charge of violence, and lark seems to be the ringleader of the kiddads entirely- at least, when it comes to the doodler. and sparrow as a character is defined by how much he caves to pressure, how much of himself he hides in favor of being more like lark, even if it means doing things he doesn't agree with.

and, we know that lark doesn't blame sparrow for the doodler. he only blames himself, he says as much to normal when pretending to be sparrow at papa john's. it would make sense for his character if he took charge with hero, wanting to be responsible for her so that he's still the one handling the doodler and not sparrow. sparrow, of course, feels differently, but all that means is that he lets it happen! not that he's the one who actively encourages and trains hero in things we KNOW sparrow doesn't agree with, like killing animals.

this has gotten so long and so wordy but its been sitting pretty heavy on my chest for a few weeks now: it really bothers me that we are willing to take anything sparrow does at face value - hero was trained so it HAD to be entirely sparrow, he married rebecca so they HAVE to be in love even though they got married at 19/20 at the latest - while lark and the other kiddads are explored and given nuance. sparrow is such an interesting character BECAUSE of how different he truly is from lark, and the way his guilt over letting hero's training happen manifesting in him trying so hard to protect the teens from the same fate is just SO INTERESTING and i hate how he gets bashed for assumptions?

so yeah, that is my 2 cents SHFKDSHFSDKFH agree with me or disagree, it's really all for fun anyways, i just hope that someone sees this and understands the Pain i have gone through ahaha

[rinsoap]

haikyuu men as my icks bc i hate these men sm 👎

inspired by missmeinyourbones !! / not an x reader.

talks in a baby voice bc his mom didnt give him enough attention (me fr) and u feel bad but its literally so bad that u cant help but audibly groan everytime he refers to himself in third person bc "baby wants cuddies 😣"

bokuto... oikawa (on his worst days). lev (ugh i hate lev 👎) kuroo (bokuto rubbed off on him ��) asahi.

acts like a mean middle school boy, absolutely ABUSES the laughing cat emoji "thats tuff buddy 😹💀" like STOP IT. he'll jump to touch the door frame or even worse do that stupid fucking thing where he clings onto the door frame and leans his torso forward but his feet stay? why r u built like a bracket ) ???? refuses to wear anything but shorts and a tshirt even if its snowing. he will literally be shivering and is still like "its fine im not weak 😒" and pls do not get me started on the mouth breathing.......

tanaka. atsumu (but he grew out of it eventually!) i am trying to have hope. hinata.

the most pretentious man u will ever meet. he thinks his poetry is groundbreaking but theyre all haikus and all of them can be summed up by "i was the poem..... but she couldnt read 😣💔🥀" like who r u even talking ab ur single ass has one ex from third grade ❌ tries so hard to be witty but is just corny man like wdym u can quote "sniff out a fake nirvana fan anywhere" ????? he will hype up this "underground" song that the "tiktok mob" hasn't "gotten" yet and its why'd you only call me when you're high by arctic monkeys ?

both miya twins..... oikawa. tsukishima (he is of course a fucking prick). semi i rly dont want to believe this but deep down i KNOW. kyotani. kenma.

has the WORSTT fashion sense like he has zero sense of style. im talking fitted sweats or the sweats that are baggy in the crotch area but super skinny and fitted on the legs. he wears full on tech fleece or those ugly fake bape hoodies and calls it y2k like babe....... and what makes it worse is that he's a fashion SNOB. he is insufferable like he thinks he is so cool and has no idea he looks SO BAD 😭

TERUSHIMA (have u even seen him oh my GOD). atsumu (but he actually did grow out of it bc u would not let him live it down). nishinoya. kindaichi... i am so sorry for this but kuroo 🙁

he cannot clean himself for shit 😭😭 like he showers but he just straight up does not wash his ass "but the water runs down it so ???" like it is surprising he even knows what a loofa is. uses one of those dumb ass "8 in 1" IK ur not using ur "shampoo" to wash ur body ❌❌ and his fingernails r always dirty u have no idea how bc whenever u ask he just says "i dont know how they get like thaaat im sooo clean!! 🥺" u already know there's one lie in that sentence its a good bet its ALL a lie.

daichi (it was such a shock tbh but he absolutely ABUSES 3 in 1). atsumu maybe he is a walking ick. terushima (are we surprised?) kenma (he's a gamer duhh). mattsun (until the entire team bullied him for it W seijoh fr 🙏)

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we did the maquis parts 1 & 2 because i simply did not want to deal w tng.

the maquis (ds9)

standout moment for me in this entire two-parter was sisko's speech. ESPECIALLY good that in a fit of frustration he delivers it to kira and kira alone, whomst he maybe did shout a little bit at earlier because tensions were so high, and then he has the grace to look embarrassed and say he's glad someone understands. like it was the EXACT same thing she was yelling about earlier and he didn't take her as seriously as he might have, like, not in a delegitimizing way, but in a way that says he hasn't experienced that kind of helpless frustration for himself. and then he got to experience just the tiniest slice of what kira has and he Got It. you know?

ALSO SOOO TRUE THE PROBLEM IS EARTH!!!! it's easy to be a saint when you live in utopia. quark had a similar speech earlier in this series about how humans are friendly and wonderful when they have full bellies and working holosuites and they turn vicious without them. ds9 knows whats up

it's tempting to blame all this on picard but while picard did NOT act with honor the true villain is the nameless faceless politician that decided this would be a good boundary to draw and absolutely no one would have any problems with it. it's weird to me, in the age of constantly calling our government officials to make sure they don't cancel healthcare or tell them to stop bombing people, that no one would try to get to the bottom of this and figure out which person they're supposed to call to tell them it was a dumb idea and demand they change it. like, the border is drawn like this, it's an immutable fact of life and it's not gonna change. it feels so weird

anyway, kira was GREAT in this episode. she has so much to be angry about and so much she wants to give to make sure nobody has to suffer what she did. like she's so passionate about it and it comes from a place of love or at least compassion and it's such a nice detail. that she's so angry all the time because of love. man. she's so great

i recognized one of the maquis guys from tng i think! well, i'm bad with faces but it was at least one of the same costumes. i'm so sorry dude rip

one of the maquis guys has a passing resemblance to barclay. really jumpscared me

should have known hudson was a villain bc he asked inappropriate questions about dax. however, it was funny that sisko laughed off the idea of them sleeping together when they fucked twins or whatever

i liked the jennifer mention :( im sad sisko and cal couldn't make up...he tried until the very end

what i love about the ethical debate is that theyre both right. the maquis are right because the new border IS shit. it IS unfair and they DID get abandoned to the tender mercies of the cardassians, who are sure as shit not gonna let them stay there unbothered (that tng episode painting this as a happy ending...AS IF). like, they have every right to defend themselves since no one else is gonna do it

but sisko is ALSO RIGHT because escalating the conflict into full-blown warfare is gonna get even MORE people killed and make things even MORE miserable for the colonies affected, who have already been through more than enough. the colonists can make life harder for the cardassians, just like the bajorans did, but they can't actually win a war, they can only drive themselves into the ground doing it. at BEST they will make some nameless faceless border-drawer think twice the next time they draw a border

like, that's why i'm so shocked nobody suggested calling the politicians to making them redraw it. it's the only third option?!?!

quark and the vulcan was so funny. shoot your shot, buddy, even though you lost the love of your life two episodes ago. i was a little insulted he managed to out-logic her, but also reluctantly impressed. quark is always entertaining, i just wish he had a LITTLE more depth.

gul dukat...i admit i never gave him a second thought before this episode. now i am reaffirmed in my belief that all cardassians are gay. he exhibits such an energy. i really liked the part where he put the fear of god into the weapons runner even though sisko was ready to sit on him to keep him from touching the torpedo controls. such a fun dynamic for him to be going "murder? :D?" and for sisko to be playing straight man and yanking him down by the scruff of his neck every 5 minutes. fun fun fun. i do think he should have kept his mouth shut when he and kira were in the same room though. like i think he should have just chosen to not speak unless prompted.

i like how twice odo's ability to maintain security at the station was called into question and both times sisko was like oh absolutely not. and even still, the tension was nearly enough to cause in-fighting in what has become a pretty friendly group. it's both surprising and unsurprising how quickly they drew the battle lines, but even the non-federation people, kira and odo, snapped at each other. LITERALLY CALL THE POLITICIANS. EARTH IS THE PROBLEM

my one real nitpick is that i don't think it should be possible to resist a mind meld with "discipline." like, it's more interesting if cardassians have a special immunity, or if this particular vulcan is bad at it. i just don't buy that gul dukat happens to be that cool, it's too convenient. why bring up the mind meld at all in that case

otherwise 10/10 i had a fantastic time

TONIGHT: devil's deal means we have double tng, "firstborn" and "bloodlines." something about alexander and daimon bok from season 1??? looks rank. wish us luck.

[kalique]

final serpentina thoughts. i have this tracklist memorized so if any placements are wrong that’s why, but if theyre all right it is a sign of how much i lvoe this mfing album. there needs to be a word stronger than album like film for movie and novel for book

1) misunderstood - definitely giving me “till now’s twin sister if till now is the evil twin.” i don’t love it and i do skip it but i like it. experimental n interesting n playful n joyful. the reviewer who called this song “goth” is literally a meth addict

2) meteorite - groove. stim

3) fuck love - see above

4) deadend - this is the first indication on the album that the old banks is 100% still here. this could’ve been on the altar or goddess

5) holding back - banger. each time i hear it i’m like “this isn’t my favourite on the album but it’s for sure the best.” theres a reason this is the one she did on jimmy kimmel. complete banger and interesting and beautiful and desperate

6) the devil - THEE banger. the lead single of all time. billie wishes. actually i didnt notice how much this is like a billie eilish song until i read someone pointing it out but now i’m like, this is definitely banks’ attempt to copy billie eilish’s Thing. and it works. i sink into the groove of this one and it just Sounds sooo satisfying to me. i fucking love this song so much that i did a cruella de vil edit to it. which should tell you something

7) skinnydipped - not one of my faves. it’s fine, it’s good while i’m listening to it, but tbh i could care less and it doesn’t make me feel much. it does have a lil groove going on.

8) burn - what to say about this one. masterpiece. probably my absolute favourite on the album. gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. tied with poltergeist as my favourite of hers of all time, probably, which is saying A FUCKING LOT!! i became obsessed and fixated on finding blorbos to whom to assign this song. i regret to inform you that i did indeed have a blorbo realization but said blorbos are. sigh. from the mcu. and so i’m not gonna tell on myself like that. but i do have a whole mind palace build up around this beautiful, devastating, heart wrenching song.

9) birds by the sea - could take it or leave it. chord progression is kind of nice but it feels like it never really goes anywhere. it’s fine i guess. i do skip it. i am sorry ms banks

10) spirit - BAD. this song SOUNDS brittle and sour to my ears. like i physically get a sour taste in my mouth when i hear it. yes i have synesthesia yes i’m not unbearable we exist. i’m not insane for feeling like this either because 90% of fans whose opinions i have seen also don’t connect with spirit and don’t like it. it sounds weird and unfinished. the production is so fucking wack. it’s a shame because the bones of a nice song are buried somewhere in there and both banks and the guest vocalist have beautiful vocals on the song but it just doesn’t go anywhere. probably the worst banks song ever sobbing emoji. idk what happened w this one

11) anything 4 u - i’m actually still figuring this one out. it does bang. and i do sort of autistically latch onto it. but i am not sure. i am just not sure.

12) unleavable - THIS ONE. took some time. at first i didn’t love it and i thought it was just ok. and then i became fixated n obsessed with it. this one wrenches at me now

13) i still love u - i don’t care. another ballad. it’s pretty. it’s fine.  i skip it a majority of the time

final thoughts - there are 4 skips on this album (3 if i’m feeling generous towards misunderstood) leaving several of my favourite songs EVER. the highs here are so high and my brain has latched onto the grooves and rhythms here so hard that i cannot call this anything less than one of the albums of all time for me personally. actually i’ve just now had a breakthrough: looking back at ms banks discography she has never had an album with THIS many songs that connect to me on a Brain Level, and that’s why serpentina is a point of such fixation for me. like, songs that are satisfying for my Brain. she’s obviously had many many songs that i love in other ways, but these are songs that my brain grabs onto like a mfing fidget toy. and for that i have to say: thank you ms jillian banks, for your groundbreaking work in the autistic community. that is all