#the turnadette palm kiss has me in an eternal chokehold

[js589]

💕 for shirbert :))

I am going back to my roots and doing kind of an Inflection Point type deal here. "In Which the Porch Scene Still Ends Unhappily (But Also Actually Worse Somehow)", I guess. 😅 Please don't hate me!

(ask game can be found here)

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For all that Anne could not claim any romantic experience—not any mutually romantic experience, at least—she knew what was coming.

A lot of it was hope. Hope she shouldn't be harboring, at that. She knew where she stood; she could never hope to compete with the young woman Gilbert had accompanied to the fair. It just wasn't possible.

And yet, the way Gilbert was looking at her said very differently. He was moving in, seeming very sure but giving her time to back away. Maybe he wasn't so sure. Maybe he was trying to find out.

If there's one thing worse than never knowing, it's going to be knowing and losing him anyway.

Anne leaned back just a little, putting her hand up in a clear signal for Gilbert to stop. Gilbert raised both of his hands to take it, but Anne refused to let it drop.

"Anne..."

Oh God, she should never have let their friendship get as close as it had. She could hear the plea in his voice, and it was going to break her resolve if she didn't end this here and now. "Gilbert, I—"

Anne had had every intention of being firm, but words deserted her entirely for a moment as Gilbert leaned in and pressed an entirely too tender kiss to her palm. He lowered their hands, and Anne was too stunned to do anything but let him. She could feel tears gathering and her throat tightened.

"Anne," Gilbert said gently, "please, say something. I thought..."

Neither of them could actually get the words out. If they couldn't do that, then what hope was there, anyway? "I can't, Gilbert. I can't and you can't and if you don't understand that, then..." Then what? There truly was no hope? Maybe he wasn't who Anne thought he was? Or maybe Anne wasn't who she thought she was?

In any event, it was going to be easier to weather the heartbreak if she did it now, she thought, pulling her hand from Gilbert's before getting up and fleeing inside.

She'd keep telling herself that until she could forget how he held onto her hand until the last possible second.

Maybe then, she'd be able to believe it.