#the tubi horror section is ridiculous

[criticalfilms]

The Tubi horror section is a gory mess... I remember being excited about this new free streaming platform, but the horror section ain't it. Notable good ones are Tourist Trap (1979) and my probably favorite horror movie, Magic (1978).

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2024 MOVIE LIST

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I watched Cemetery Man (1994)

Scrolling through the cult classic section of Tubi, I realized I'd never seen this one., despite always wanting to.....well, I didn't love it.

A zombie killing cemetery worker wants more out of life.

Director Michele Soavi is an Italian filmmaker, known best to me for his films "The Church", "The Sect", and "Deliria-AKA: Stage Fright". Being an Italian Horror filmmaker, Soavi leans heavily toward spooky visuals, dreamy romantic atmosphere, and gore. Something I love about him and other Italian horror filmmakers like Lucio Fulci, Mario and Lamberto Bava, Joe D'Amato, and to a lesser extent, Dario Argento. (Dario knows what he did)

Cemetery Man tosses humor into the horror and atmosphere, offering something with a lot of quirkiness. I hate using the term 'off-beat', but I'm afraid I have no other choice. The humor here adds an element of lightness, which when combined with the horror and spooky stylization, creates more of a fantasy film vibe.

However, the humor doesn't exactly offer the belly laughs you get with a film like"Shaun Of The Dead". I smirked a few times, but overall the movie was a little leaden. I found myself expecting a fun ride, but got something that felt like it wasn't going anywhere. The action would start and stop and the story felt jumbled. I got bored to the point that I regretted starting the movie in the first place. Sure, I liked some of the cheesy gore and zombie effects. I liked the idea of the film. I liked the overall tone in a lot of spots. But, I felt like I was reading a page in a book, getting distracted and re-reading that same page again and again.

A film like "Brain Dead-AKA: Dead Alive" continuously builds up, ridiculous moment after ridiculous moment. The story has structure, a villain is set up, a hero follows an arc and grows. There is excitement and there are wild moments that all lead up to a final confrontation. While "Cemetery Man" has some of these parts, it doesn't combine them correctly into a whole. Making for a movie that fell really flat for me.

Give it a shot of you want, as it does seem to be popular among a small fan-base, so maybe it will work for you. I just don't think it's many styles end up cohering and the same goes for its story.

[porcelain-rob0t]

here's all my favorites that are free on tubi (+ little description)

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (jesus returns from the dead in modern day to protect lesbians from the vampires)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (absolutely batshit horror comedy from the 80s about evil clown aliens. it has AWESOME practical effects)

Suspiria (American girl goes to a German dance academy only to find out the school is run by witches. genuinely one of my favorites, its so visually gorgeous and has an awesome soundtrack)

The Love Witch (ALSO BEAUTIFUL!! its a gaslight gatekeep girlboss movie about a witch who wants love)

Re-Animator (diversity win! the autistic gay scientist and his roommate create incredibly unethical experiments with reanimating the dead)

Ginger Snaps (a girl goes through puberty and becomes a werewolf)

Donnie Darko (emo boy learns when the world ends)

The Stuff (genuinely ridiculous like its so funny, like people get mind controlled and body-horror'd by alien ice cream)

then there is a whole section on tubi specifically for Giallo films which are Italian horror movies from the 60s and 70s. they are WILD like so fucking weird lmao

btw if you need more recommendations for other genres let me know!!!

do you like horror movies? if so, i know some absolutely wacky ones that kill boredom immediately

truth be told i don’t actually know if i like horror movies because i never watch movies 😭 but perhaps this is the night this changes send them my way!!!!