#the top two eps aired three years and five months apart

[dribs-and-drabbles]

The Thai Communal Wardrobe item #112

3 Will Be Free ep 3:

Dirty Laundry ep 5:

Step by Step ep 5:

Last Twilight ep 12:

[l4verq]

fight back | b.b

bucky barnes x enhanced!reader

in which bucky won’t lay a hand on you no matter what :(

tags : a little brawl, fluff cause icanthelpmyself, mentions of blood, john walker (idk if we're supposed to like him now ??) bucky is a cat lady okk

fic : one shot

a/n : inspired by that scene in the final ep of tfatws when karli is screaming at sam to fight back lol😳

|| gif by @unearthlydust ||

-

one world, one people.

you repeat it in your head one more time, when he comes into view, vibranium gleaming onyx with loops of gold.

you know that he knows you’re here, back to the wall a few feet away, peeking at him.

he doesn’t know that you let him know.

doesn’t know that you laid out a trap and just like the foolish mouse, he walked right into the lion’s den.

although you’re not sure who the fool actually is, when you meet his eyes, knees almost buckling at the sight just cause of how long it’s been without them.

“y/n.” he breathes out, almost in disbelief.

it’s been fourteen months since he woke up to an empty bed and a handwritten goodbye letter folded in a clean white envelope, tucked under a pillow still marked by the soft indentation of your head.

fourteen months since you took off in the dead of night, pulling your- his hood over your head, the cold wind nipping at your skin, almost like it was punishing you.

maybe, it saw what you did.

oh, but fred definitely saw what you did, that damn cat always followed you two around even though it’s owner was the blonde next door. her name wasn’t even fred, bucky came up with it after the third time it snuck into the apartment.

he swore he hated it but always seemed to have a treat lying around in case it did come.

and it did, a lot. neglected by it’s owner, it chose to seek comfort in the couple next door, and sometimes a meal or two.

“sorry, no treat today bub.”

fred scowled - honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if an actual human was living in it - mewling as it came up to you for the usual chin rubs and cooes.

you sighed, caving into it’s antics, squatting to pet it.

cradling it’s head into your palm, she was purring, a very uncommon sight. fred doesn’t purr, she scratches and hisses at anything and everything that moves.

“you’re particularly nice today.” you commented, getting up. it mewled even louder this time but you turned on your heels and headed for the stairs.

you were already late.

your legs picked up pace quickly, easily crossing multiple blocks over in a few long strides owing to the blue serum coursing through your veins.

though your mind remained stationary, fixated on a single face, how it’d crumble at the sight of the letter, how he’d probably end up hating you.

“took you long enough.”

her auburn locks were tied into a loose braid that curved around her neck, the tip sat just below her collarbone, a piss poor job held together by a thin maroon colored band.

it was quintessentially her, the lack of utter patience to spend two minutes looping three knots of hair one over the other.

you jogged over to the other side of the black suv, noticing a stark white rectangle where a liscence plate should be.

“he’s knocked out cold,” you asked as soon as you grabbed the door handle open, “how?”

lazropthalein.

it came in the mail in a brown package, no return address. bucky wasn’t home, he had a scheduled therapy session down the block.

just a pinch is enough.

the text from the unknown number read.

it had no odour, a clean, white colour to it that blended in seamlessly with the flour.

“you baked without me?” bucky gasped, dramatically, hand covering his gaping mouth. his other hand carried two plastic bags, filled to the brim, a purple razor was poking out the top.

he even had to drop the poor bags on the floor, just to emphasize the utter shock he felt.

“i got bored.” you giggled, wiping the countertop with a wet cloth, remnants of flour on the sleek marble turning goopy under it.

“traitor.”

“it’s just cupcakes.”

“still a cake.”

you sighed, “you’re a five year old.”

he huffed, trudging towards the living room, shoulders hunched to really hone in on just how devastating this was for him.

“don’t i get a hug?” you held your arms out, making grabby hands, following him.

apparently, the devastation was to the point where he had to bring out the big guns, the sad baby blues.

the act lasted for another minute? at best. hours later, he was happily munching away.

“i know why it tastes so good.” he moaned, smacking his lips.

your smile faltered a little, did he kn- no, there’s no way he could have known. you burned that little plastic bag as soon as you dumped a pinch in.

“yea?”

he grinned, popping the last bit left in “it was made with your love.”

“how did it work?” your voice rose several octaves higher, amplified further by the cool, silent night.

drugs and sedatives don’t work on supersoldiers yet a certain blue eyed one was back home, unmoving even if you screamed right into his ears.

“dr wilfred, he invented it. the power broker wanted something to balance out our,” she flared her hands at both of you, “super-soldierness, so that we don’t have an upper hand when all’s said and done.”

would the either of you even be alive when all was said and done?

“look, i know you didn’t want to do this but james, he won’t understand. he’s not one o-..”

“yea, can we jus- let’s just get out of here.” you get in beside her, whipping the seatbelt over your torso.

the car was stuffy, felt like a choke around your neck that only seemed to tighten more and more.

“if we go now, there’s no coming back.” she glances at you, hand curled over the gearstick ready to position it in place.

she was giving you an out, one last chance. karli was a lot of things and having a heart inside that cold, bitchy exterior was one.

“i know.”

you sunk deeper into your seat, the hoodie had a faint smell of burnt toast and that cologne which was on sale, almost half off if you cut out the taxes.

it smelled like him, too much like him.

until it didn’t after a few days. but you still slept with it, just outright refusing to wash it despite karli’s snarky remarks about hygiene.

hygiene could go fuck herself, for all you know.

compared to the motels and basements you guys shifted around in, that hoodie was a doctor’s scrubs.

when the moon hung low on the black sky, you tried not to think about him too much. the silence didn’t help, you needed something to drown out your thoughts. that’s when the ‘socialising’ with the other flag smashers started. they were nice.

nice cause you were the leader’s little sister. but also a huge fucking liability because of a certain supersoldier hot on their heels in search of you, ruining every goddamn plan so their niceness was.. limited.

karli was a natural when it came to it, all of it. the talking, rallying of supporters - fuck, she just had a way with words. she could make you believe she hung up the stars in the sky.

probably how she convinced you that holding a room chock full of council members hostage right smack in the middle of nyc was a good idea.

the only idea, more precisely.

you guys had the upper hand, more than a handful supersoldiers at your disposal, capable of taking down the entire military force if you so pleased.

the only playing card they had was one supersoldier, who was better off distracted, kept off the field.

so who better to send to do the deed than the love of his life.

“fred had a baby. multiple babies, spawn of the devil if you ask me. always running around, thrashing the place up.” he takes small steps towards you, slow and calculated, as if a lion stalking around a prey.

“you shouldn’t be here.” you lie through your teeth, a tiny white compared to the ones that’ve rolled off your tongue before.

“i think the neighbours call me a cat lady now,” his eyes shift around and he leans in to whisper, “they haven’t even seen my knitting skills yet.”

“stop.” you think you said it or much rather whispered it, your voice was failing you. he’s getting close, too close for your liking so why aren’t you backing away from him?

“fred misses you, you know. she wonders where you went.” he smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

the hairs on your neck shoot up, a slight twitch of your brow. the way bucky’s ear perk up, you realise it’s not just you and him here anymore.

someone else has arrived.

“i’ve got it handled, john.” bucky turns around, plants him directly infront of you, blocking john’s view of you.

sure enough, it’s john limping in, a nasty gash across his chest.

your blood runs cold because this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.

john isn’t supposed to be here, he’s supposed to be fighting.. oh god. you notice the various splatters of blood on his cowl, on his boot, on his shield.

it’s too much blood from a guy who’s barely bleeding.

“really? i was thinking you should do more than just talk.” he spits on the ground and wipes his mouth.

you notice, the spit’s all blood too.

“i’m giving you a chance to walk away, right now.”

john snorts, leaning sideways to get a view of you, neck craned out.

“and leave this prize all to yourself?” he grins, “i’d be an idiot.”

“you have a death wish then.” you lift your chin a little higher, praying your quickening heartbeat doesn’t give away your calm exterior.

john whistles, grimacing as he straightens, “so, she does talk.”

you scowl, crossing your arms.

he’s in bad shape. he has no chance, not that he ever did even in his best shape. he knows that too yet he’s still here. that sends a chill up your spine.

“go, i got this.” bucky tips his head, glancing at you.

“i don’t need you to save me.” you hiss at him, which comes out a little harsher than you intended. an apology dies in your throat as he flinches just the slightest.

“trouble in paradise?” john’s barely finished saying it before he’s reached behind his back and swinging the vibranium

you hear it before you see it stopped mid air by a gloved hand. then you charge.

it’s all a hazy mix of blue and red until your fist connects with his jaw, sound of something breaking ringing in your ear.

something pulls your waist back, a grip far too strong to be just flesh.

“go, i’ll ta-..” bucky’s barely said anything before an upward cut from john connects to his neck, violent coughs ensuing.

you grip john’s arm before he’s even retracted it back, jump up his back, settling around his neck and twist until you hear a crack and a bloodcurling scream following suit.

he whips his head back right into your stomach, seizes that moment when the wind knocks out of you to pull you by your hair off him.

“i told you to go.” bucky growls, kicking john right in the shin that makes him kneel and you almost fall off but you keep your fingers tightly looped around john’s hair, pulling as hard you can.

but he’s relentless.

your head hits something hard and you realise you’re on the ground now, legs loosely around john’s shoulders, him also on the ground.

it’s like the both of you realise at the same time but you’re quicker. your legs tighten around his neck, against the spot where a thick neck muscle throbs. he claws desperately around, straining for oxygen

soon, his hands lull down, the dull thud on the ground confirming his unconsciousness.

“are you hurt?” bucky’s hovering over you, seemingly unfazed by john’s neck in a chokehold by your legs right now.

you reject his hand he extends and push yourself off the gravelly concrete on to your feet.

“this was a mistake.” you trail off, saying it more to your own self.

you weren’t the lion, you were the stupid fox who thought it was.

stupid enough to believe you were over bucky and that everything wouldn’t come rushing back as soon as you laid eyes on him.

he whips you around by your hand and before you know it, he’s already caught your other fist heading for his sternum. you barely feel the grip, it’s soft, just so incredibly soft and fits so right.

you hate it.

rage bubbles inside you, mostly at yourself. partly at him because he’s not screaming at you or slamming you against the wall or jus- anything.

you wrench your hand away, land a swing which he does nothing to block. his grip on your other hand loosens and he still does nothing when another hit to the jaw leaves him staggering,

instead, he looks at you softly as if resigning himself to your anger, to let it simmer off.

“fight back!” you scream, outstretched palms pushing him back.

he stumbles a few steps back, hands reaching out to yours resting on his chest, fingers intertwining yours tightly.

“stop.” it’s a soft plead, tears spiking the corners of his eyes.

“hit me!” you’re practically begging at this point, thrashing your arms around.

his hands grapple at your shoulders, bringing you to his chest, “it’s okay.”

he smells so sweet, just so sweet that you almost believe him.

“i drugged you and i left you and i-,” you inhale sharply, “i killed so many people, bucky.”

the last fourteen months had escalated quickly from doing what’s right to doing what’s needed, lines blurred between moral ethics and survival.

“it’s okay.” he repeats, hand patting your hair, gentle and soothing. your body betrays you, sinking into his touch, his warmth.

“you should hate me.” you whimper.

you wouldn’t blame him if he did. you doubt he could hate you more than you already did yourself.

he pulls back, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “i couldn’t if i tried.”

god, why does he have to be so.. bucky?

frustated, you spit out, “this? this was a distraction to separate you and sam.”

you don’t say it but it’s understood, understood that you wouldn’t have met him if not for it.

the inner corners of his brows angle up slightly, a ghost of a smile on his lips, “i know.”

your breath hitches, if he knows then wh-

“then, why..?”

you finally look up at him, vision blurry because of the stupid tears pooling at your eyes.

his thumb wipes away a tear dribbling down your cheek, the coldness of the metal a clear contrast to the warm moisture, “you know why.”

-

a/n : this one’s been sitting pretty, collecting cobwebs in my drafts so thought i’d take it out lol, also haven’t been posting fics in a whileeee cause im dumb and i’ve been working on multiple things all at once lol yea this is me rambling and also i just wanna say that i. love. folklore. sm. that whole album has me crying and sad and just :((

[quarantineroulette]

Minor Disappointments’ Least Disappointing Releases of 2018

Preamble: I had a bit of a low (not Low, although that would’ve been preferable) period in 2018 that went on for several months. I didn’t really listen to music during that time, and so I missed out on a lot of things. I’m kind of too scatterbrained from holiday hysteria to really take in anything new. So these lists probably don’t designate “the best”, but they’re decent documents of what I wasn’t too distracted or down to take serious notice of.

Secondly, my own band released an album this year, and that occupied a large amount of time normally reserved for listening to other bands. I won’t rank it because I don’t want to be that conceited...but if you want to check it out for yourself, the highlights for me are “For the Rest to Rest”; “Open Up the Ways”; “Screen Test”; and “Suspend Disbelief”. One of my favorite reviews of it described our sound as being a “unique blend of post-punk, brit-pop, indie, and a little post-rock too.” and said we’re “one of the smartest bands to come out of Brooklyn in a very long time.” This is both why people should listen to it and also why they might not.

Thirdly, one of the things I listened to the most this year was Protomartyr’s Consolation EP, but I’m refraining from listing it as it’s not a full-length. That said, I think it’s as good as nearly anything I’ve heard this year, Protomartyr are the best and both of their live sets I caught were my favorite gigs of 2018. TLDR: Protomartyr = good. Most other things on this list = equally good but not Protomartyr. Let’s get started shall we?

10 Songs That Were Good: 

10) Neko Case & Mark Lanegan - Cures of the I-5 Corridor. How has a Neko Case / Mark Lanegan duet not existed until 2018?? No matter the year, something this gorgeous and heartbreaking is always worthy of making the cut.

9) Lana Del Rey - Mariners Apartment Complex . I remember Spencer Krug tweeting something kind of snarky about “Venice Bitch” a few months back, then deleting it, and damn well he should’ve because both that and “Mariners Apartment Complex” are blinders. “Venice” may be the most low-key epic ever, but the way “Mariners” takes hints of Leonard Cohen and Lee Hazlewood / Nancy Sinatra and places them in a pop context is perhaps even more admirable. It’s truly inspiring to hear mainstream music this nuanced.

8) Parquet Courts - Tenderness . I love the jaunty piano, and how Andrew Savage’s vocal take is simultaneously forceful and lax. But most of all I love how all its elements converge to create a sense of hard-won optimism.

7) Iceage - Thieves Like Us . Iceage do a swamp cabaret song and I just can’t love it enough.  

6) MGMT - Me and Michael . Yes, it’s ridiculously ‘80s, but you would have to be a very dour person to not smile whenever that opening synth riff kicks in.

5) Shame - One Rizla . Riff of the year. Hands down.

4) Bodega - Jack in Titanic . One of the great things about 2018 was witnessing Bodega’s success. To me, they’ve always been one of the few up-and-coming indie bands with the  charisma to be actual stars, and it’s been a joy seeing the rest of the world take note of this. From the moment I heard “Jack in Titanic”, I just knew it was destined to show up on a BBC Radio 6 A-or-B list at some point in the near future (and it did!). And yeah, they’re my good friends, but even if they were strangers I’d appreciate the smartness, melodic hooks, and sexiness all the same:

3) Preoccupations - Disarray . Click on that link because the song is really good, but be warned -- the vocal melody is never, ever going to leave you.

2) Protomartyr - Wheel of Fortune . This song has everything: a nerve-wracking stop and start guitar part, an at-once badass and terrifying refrain, Kelly Deal, and the exact sense of urgency that’s needed right now. Powerful, timely, and a rare example of a song that puts its guest star to highly effective use.

1) Janelle Monae - Make Me Feel . This song combines about five different Prince songs but Janelle Monae’s personality is so strong that the end result is something wholly her own. And if the song weren’t a blast on its own, the technicolor video is almost lethally fun: 

10 Albums That I Loved A Lot: 

10) Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino . I really loved this album but I’m ranking it as 10 just because it’s the Arctic Monkeys and I can’t believe I enjoyed anything they’ve produced *this* much -- especially a lounge album about a casino on the moon. I find Alex Turner overrated as a lyricist and cosplaying a Bad Seed isn’t endearing to me, but he obviously loves Scott Walker a lot so I guess he gets some sort of pass.

9) Moonface - This One’s of the Dancer and This One’s for the Dancer’s Bouquet . The only reason this isn’t ranked higher is because I haven’t been able to give it the attention it deserves. This is a concept album where some songs are sung from the pov of the Minotaur and others from Spencer Krug, and both these creatures are enigmatic are too enigmatic to be given mere surface reads. This all said, I’ve listened enough to glean that, as always, Spencer’s lyrics are awe-inspiring, the marimba is implemented well, the alternate version of “Heartbreaking Bravery” is excellent, and comparing and contrasting its themes with those found on Wolf Parade’s 2017 release Cry Cry Cry is a fun past time if you’re me or seven other people. Looking forward to delving deeper in 2019.

8) Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer . To be honest, I *was* a little disappointed in this. It’s not as cinematic or stylistically adventurous as Monae’s previous full-lengths, but I think Monae herself is extremely talented and I wish she was a much bigger star. Furthermore, when considered against the drek of the general pop landscape, this is still a bold, unpredictable, and intelligent pop record from a true enigma.

7) Luke Haines - I Sometimes Dream of Glue . Like “Kubla Khan” if it had been written after huffing a river full of glue, but instead of Xanadu it’s an English village full of miniature people having a orgy:

6) Parquet Courts - Wide Awake! . No other song better captures the frustrations and anxieties of living in NY in 2018 than “Almost Had to Start a Fight / In and Out of Patience”, and for that alone this album would make the year-end cut. But it also happens to be brilliant start to finish, with the two closing statements, in the form of “Death Will Bring Change” and “Tenderness” respectively, being among PC’s best.

5) Low - Double Negative .  Mimi Parker’s voice emerging from a sonic cocoon on “Fly” is one of the most gripping moments of Low’s fantastic career. This album challenged me the most in 2018, but it’s also one I frequently returned to, determined to crack its code.

4) Preoccupations - New Material . I suppose some would dismiss this as too trad. post-punk, but holy hell - these trad. post-punk songs have got some hooks! And there isn’t quite another singer like Matt Flegel, who somehow manages to channel Bowie and Mark Lanegan at the same time. I’ve listened to this so much that New Material already feels like a well-loved classic.

3) Gazelle Twin - Pastoral . I would argue that Pastoral is the closest anyone’s come to making something comparable to PJ Harvey’s Let England Shake. An electro-pagan examination of Britain’s heritage and history (and the whole Brexit thing) that manages to feel thorough despite only being 37 minutes long, Pastoral moves beyond being just “a record” and becomes something closer to contemporary art. Elizabeth Bernholz’s vocals, whether warped or unconstrained by processing, are remarkable throughout. A mash-up of folk traditions and modern beats that somehow works shockingly well:

2) Idles - Joy as an Act of Resistance . Boyfriend / bandmate James and I have discussed this album more than any other this year, and it’s been a pleasure hearing his love for it and forming my own appreciation of it in the process. What sealed it for me was James’ description of “Idles” as pagan, and how the band’s use of repetition and simple melodies (as well as their bacchanalian stage presence) created an air of ritualism. In their primalness, they even remind me of The Birthday Party - a “woke” Birthday Party, but a Birthday Party all the same. My favorite musical moment of the year may very well be Joe Talbot’s first shout of “UNITY!” in “Danny Nedelko”, primordial, raw, unpretentious, and completely punk. We *need* these guys right now:

1) Suede - The Blue Hour . There is a joke in the TV show 30 Rock in which Jack Donaghy -- Alec Baldwin’s network head character -- says he attended Harvard Business School, where he was voted “Most”. The Blue Hour could be considered “Most” -- it’s meant to be taken as one piece, it’s insanely grandiose and, like its predecessor Night Thoughts, listening to it makes everything in my life seem 18 times more dramatic and tragic. I don’t know how, but this bizarre mashup of Kate Bush, Jacques Brel, Pink Floyd, Scott Walk, Gregorian chanting, classic Suede, spell books and (of course) David Bowie somehow seems bizarrely in step with 2018. Seeing as this top three consists of albums that are arguably “pagan”, and folk horror’s representation in popular 2018 films like Hereditary, The Blue Hour feels accidentally on trend. It’s crazy to think that a band whose first release happened 25 years ago could still be relevant in 2018, but Suede somehow are so please give these dads a hand and then listen to The Blue Hour’s glorious closing trio of songs a lot, because boy are they “Most”.  

[adairraleign]

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[diyarlight]

Broken souls mend together

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Prompt: Set after season 6, ep 18 “Lauren.” The reader was roommates with Emily, and goes to Spencer for comfort. Inspired from the scene where Reid had admitted of thinking of taking drugs again to JJ after Emily comes back in season 7, ep 2. 

credits to the amazing poster @hotchnerfuckmeup

Part 2 

Spencer stared at the syringe and the small bottle that he placed on the top of the sink. He looked back at the mirror, staring at his own haunted expression and red eyes. He could do it right now and no one would bother him. It wouldn't hurt this much anymore.

But Emily would be so disappointed.

He shut his eyes closed as he swallowed the cry that was lounged in his throat. It's been five weeks since Emily died, and it still hurt to even think about her. The guilt of not doing enough and the crushing pain he would feel whenever he saw the empty desk beside him was enough to plunge the needle into his arm. He just didn't want to feel anymore, and he wanted this pain to go away. If he couldn't save Emily, then who could he save?

The doorbell ringing snapped him out of his thoughts and panic bubbled inside his stomach. He quickly shoved the syringe and bottles into the cupboard, looked at himself to make sure that nothing was wrong before he could see who the guest was. He quickly crossed the rooms to open the door, and his breath hitched when he saw who it was.

It was Y/N.

She was drenched, and Spencer didn't even realize that it was raining outside. His heart clenched when he saw the red eyes and haunted face, and he blinked rapidly to hide his own tears. "Hey," She said, giving him a tired smile. "Were you sleeping?”

He shook his heads and stepped aside to let her in as he took in her hunched form. "You're drenched," he said and wanted to slap his forehead because what a great question genius.

"I was just walking around," She answered, her voice scratchy. "It suddenly started to rain and I didn't have an umbrella."

"You were walking around? At this time?" He said, his voice a bit louder than usual. It was past midnight, and you would think that she would be more careful considering what they see at their jobs.

"It's better than staying at home," She whispered, and immediately Spencer felt bad for raising his voice.

Y/N had joined the team just after Rossi and immediately connected with Emily first before him. Y/N couldn't find a steady place to stay so Emily offered her apartment and the two quickly became best friends and roommate. So for Y/N to be in a place where she spent so much time with Emily must be hard.

"I am sorry," He whispered. “Come in, I’ll get you some clothes for you to change."

"No Spence it's-"

"You'll get sick. Please," He said, and Y/N reluctantly nodded her head. He went to his room and got out with some of his old clothes. With a grateful smile, she took it and headed towards the bathroom. He strode to the kitchen and put the kettle on, knowing she preferred tea over coffee. He started the coffee machine and rubbed his face to keep the tiredness away for now.

“Spencer?”

He turned to Y/N and froze at what she was holding. He looked back to her face, expecting to see the disgust or pity in her eyes, yet all he saw was empathy. As if she knew exactly what he was feeling, or going through right now. Wordlessly she placed the syringe and the Dilaudid on the coffee table and searched her bag for something. She took it out and placed it beside the Dilaudid.

Razor blades. Three of them.

He looks back at her, shock clear on his face. He really looks at her now, taking in his sweater and his sweatpants hanging on loosely. There is a vulnerable expression, her posture hunched in as if to protect herself from criticism or disgust. What drew him the most is the tears that filled her eyes, threatening to fall down. He could feel his own eyes tearing up as he crossed the room and took her in his arms. They both broke down, clutching onto each other as they cry their hearts out.

They don't know how long they say there, embraced and lost in their grief. The whistling from the kettle broke them out of their embrace, and she looked guilty at his wet shirt. "Sorry about that," she said, nodding at the wet spot on his shirt.

"Don't worry about it," Spencer murmured, wiping away the remaining tears. With a small smile, he walked to the kitchen to get the tea and coffee. Y/N sniffled, wiping her tears with Spencer's long sleeves. She looked back when Spencer enters with a cup of her favorite tea. She smiled tiredly, noticing his dark circles and red eyes.

"Thanks," She whispered, and with a tug on her arm, they both sat on the couch. She tucked her legs under her, keeping some space between Spencer. There was a hesitation in the air as if they were not sure of themselves after such intimate moment.

“I never told anyone about that,” Y/N said, her voice soft as she nodded to the blades. “That’s why I was walking around. If I was in my apartment, I think I would have given in.”

“Oh,” Spencer mustered, continued to look at his coffee. “I understand. If you hadn’t come maybe I would have too.”

“What stopped you?”

“Emily,” Spencer whispered, tears immediately filling his eyes.

“Did she know?”

“The whole team knows, except for Seavar and Rossi. It happened when she was new,” He answered, a shake in his voice. “We were on this case-“

“You don’t need to tell me,” she told him in empathy. She knew how hard it is to open up about something like this, and that’s why she never told anyone when she moved to Quantico.

“I want to,” he looked up at her, his face showing determination. “We were on this case in Atlanta, and the unsub was suffering from dissociate identity disorder. One of his personalities would torture me while Tobias, the unsub, would drug me with Dilaudid. He said it would help, but it only made things worse.”

There was a haunted look in his eyes, and Y/N reached over to hold his hand. Spencer snapped out of his memories when he looked down at their intertwined hands, and he looked up to see her up close with a broken expression. She squeezed his hand, letting him know that she was there and if he needed to stop it was fine. There was no judgment in her eyes, just understanding.

“He made me choose which family to kill, and I had to. They died right in front of me,” his voice cracked at the end, but Y/N didn’t make a move to get closer. She let her own tears flow, her heart aching for the man sitting beside her. He wasn’t looking at her, just staring forward and continuing with his story.

“I had to kill him and his last words were thank you. I took the two bottles of Dilaudid from his dead body, and I tried at first to not get high. But the pain and nightmares were too much-“

“And you wanted an escape,” she finished for him.

“Yeah,” he agreed. He swallowed down in nervousness, trying to not break down again. “The team noticed, of course, but they couldn’t do anything officially. Emily was new at that time, and it was easier to snap at her than others.” He concentrated on the patterns she was drawing on top of his hand, drawing comfort and courage to continue.

“But she was very understanding,” He continued, looking back at Y/N with teary eyes. “Hotch couldn’t talk about it officially because then I would have lost my job. Gideon helped, but even though I have been clean for 3 years 2 months and 28 days now, the cravings never leave. It only increases when you are in pain.”

“I know,” Y/n consoled, continuing to draw circles. She placed the cup with her free hand, and gently, almost hesitantly, placed her head on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer. They both needed the comfort, whether it was physical or emotional.

“My parents divorced when I was 14. It was really messy, both of them were fighting over every single thing. I felt so lost because I always thought that they loved each other you know? Everything got too much for me, so I started to cut myself,” she started, and maybe it is because Spencer was open about his experience that it makes it easier for to do the same.

“Cutting is another outlet for coping with problems. It may help you express feelings you can’t put into words, distract you from your life, or release emotional pain. 90% of people who engage in self-harm begin during their teen or pre-adolescent,” Spencer told her, rambling off statistics. He winced outward, knowing that facts were not comforting words to many.

But it brought a small smile on her face because she knew that facts comforted Spencer, and she knew that it was his way to comfort others. “Then my dad died in a car accident when I turned 17 and made sure that my mom would not get a single penny,” Her voice suddenly shook, remembering the numbness she felt at that time. Spencer tightened his grip, now his turn to draw circles on her hand.  

“He left all of his money and properties to me, and that made my mom so mad. As soon as I turned 18 she threw me out of my house. It didn’t matter really, they both stopped being my parents a long time ago. I guess my dad left everything for me because of guilt. The cuttings made me feel better, but I tried to get better when I started college. I got help but it never went away you know.

“Then I got pregnant.”

“What?” He stuttered, not expecting that. His mind went blank because Y/N never talked about her child, and his eyes widen with the possibility of why.

“A lot of people thought it was the biggest mistake of my life. 18 and pregnant, but she was the best thing that ever happened to me. The father got scared and ran off, but it didn’t matter.”

“What’s her name?” He asked tenderly, his heart heavy with sadness for the woman beside him.

“Lily,” she whispered, her voice breaking into a sob. She sniffed back, blinking her eyes to stop crying. It was so hard to even say her name after so long. “It was so weird. She hated lilies because she said people would always give her that rather than roses. But I finally had a family. It was just me and her, but it was more than enough. Everything was perfect. It was hard but so worth it.”

There was nostalgia in her voice, a longing that he knew that would always be there. He choked back his own sobs, trying to stay strong for her. “How did she-“

A shudder went through her body as she shut her eyes closed and clenched her jaw. He felt her shudder and brought her closer to him in order to comfort her. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” He whispered to her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I couldn’t save her. I was the youngest detective at that time with the highest success rate in the state and I couldn’t save her. That’s why I became a profiler so that others won’t have to go through what I experienced. But I couldn’t save Emily when it mattered the most, and now I feel so useless. If I can’t save those who I love, then what’s the use of this job Spence?”

“I know,” He whispered, burying his head in her hair. She practically sat on his lap, tucking her head in the crook of his neck as they both grieved. They don’t know when they stopped crying or when they both fell asleep on the couch, legs tangled and bodies pressed against each other.

All they know is that it was the first time since they didn’t have a nightmare since Emily’s death.

…

The moment Y/N wakes up, she instantly knew that it wasn’t her bed. She felt someone’s breathing down her neck, and she opened her eyes to find herself flushed to someone’s chest. She looks up to see Spencer snoring softly and mouth slightly open. She smiled at the cute look on his face and notices that he has his arms wrapped around her waist, making it harder for her to get up. She glances at the coffee table, taking in the blades, syringes, and the half-empty cups and suddenly realizes that she didn’t have a nightmare.

She had a light headache and her eyes felt dry because of all the crying she did last night (or was it early morning?) and she was squeezed on the couch with Spencer. But all she felt safe, with his arms around her and legs tangled with each other. She settled back onto his arm, closing her eyes and going to the dreamland with him.

It was the weekend, so she knew that they won’t get called in. All she wanted right now was feeling safe, and in his arms she found it.

She hoped that this would never end.

[electricdazemag]

COIN: How Will You Know If You Never Try

by Katherine Stallard

    How Will You Know If You Never Try, the sophomore album of Nashville formed indie pop band COIN, dropped everywhere for eager ears on April 21st. Whether you’re like me, and were waiting months for the release of this album, or if you’re a cultured music listener looking for new jams, boy are you in for a treat. COIN delivers an album with hit after hit, each consisting of thoughtful, heavy-hearted, telling lyrics expertly paired with bopping melodies and captivating vocals that somehow wind up creating the danciest songs you’ve ever heard in your life. With both unforgettable hooks and melodies, and intriguing and meaningful lyrics in the album, they intertwine to create remarkably good songs that seem to make even the greyest days a vivid blue.

    COIN originally formed in 2013 and is made up of Chase Lawrence, the front man and synth player, Joe Memmel on guitar, drummer Ryan Winnen, and bassist Zachary Dyke. COIN has released one other official album before How Will You Know If You Never Try, self titled ‘COIN’  featuring their first hit song ‘Run’. COIN also has some lesser known works including the COIN EP, 1992 EP, and Saturdays EP.

    Although the band claimed that the new album would be dropping “sooner than you think” several weeks before their release, they teased the masterpiece of an album that is How Will You Know If You Never Try (hwykiynt for short) for months, releasing five official singles, each better than the rest, prompting lots of well deserved attention.

     The first released single ‘Talk Too Much’ was released a little less than a year ago on May 6th 2016. From then forward, the track skyrocketed to popularity on Sirius XM’s Alt Nation, the station it premiered on, as well as on alternative stations all over the nation. Talk Too Much’s unique and fresh sound garnered lots of new people to the COIN fan base, becoming the soundtrack to summers everywhere, including my own. Talk Too Much in many ways paved the way for COIN’s new and well deserved popularity in alternative music, showing listeners they were one to watch.

    Several months following the release of Talk Too Much, after opening for Bad Suns on their Disappear Here tour, COIN released their second single off of hwykiynt, ‘I Don’t Wanna Dance’ on February 17th of that same year. Afterwards, the last three singles of the album were released in a relatively short span of time, starting with ‘Malibu 1992’, then ‘Feeling’ and ending with ‘Don’t Cry, 2020’. The day before the album release when the anticipation of hwykiynt was at it’s peak height, COIN had one last trick up their sleeves, as they premiered song ‘Boyfriend’ on Alt Nation.

    How Will You Know If You Never Try is a 11 track piece of art (plus a special hidden track), that is revolutionizing the indie alt sound, track by track. Every track evokes the need to break out in spontaneous dance and each track is an intricate piece of music curated by a passionate group of people with a knack for creating heart-pounding, incredible music. The combination of deliciously infectious melodies, brilliant lyrics, and smooth and dreamy vocals, makes this album one you simply cannot ignore.

    ‘Don’t Cry, 2020’, the first track on the album and the fifth single off of hwykiynt begins with a gentle, almost wind chime like sound, that builds into strong instrumentals accompanied by the dreamy lead vocals by Lawrence. Synths echo and swirl in the background, paving the way for the appearance of the guitar and drums. Once the drums come in, the whole song dynamic goes up to another level as the chorus belts. Synths and vocals twinkle alongside the beating drums, singing “Years go by whether you want them to” with a profound intensity as the track builds up to the last chorus.‘Don’t Cry, 2020’ carries an air of inspiration and optimism, despite the lyrics telling the story of a girl fearing for the future and old age on her birthday. As the lyrics sing “don’t cry” and “it’s all gonna be alright” it’s hard to not feel reassured and at peace come what may.

    ‘Talk Too Much’, the first single and breakout hit of the album, is a certified banger. Like all the tracks, ‘Talk Too Much’ is catchy, fun, and danceable no doubt, but the lyric and instrumental combo of this song make it easy to see why it surpassed all expectations. From second one, the track is bound to have any listener on their feet. The hook does exactly what a hook should do, and hooks the audience as soon as it starts. Beginning with a compelling drum beat and guitar strumming pair that leads into the first verse, the song only gets better from there. The lyrics in this song are especially exquisite, strawing away for the literal and singing things like “tightrope across the table” and using beautifully descriptive sentences like “red velvet under pressure” that create sharp and rich imagery. With the way Talk Too Much is composed, it will always be the song to scream at the top of your lungs, with no hesitation and the utmost enthusiasm.

    For me, ‘Hannah’ was one of those songs that I felt in my bones the second I heard it. Taking the fifth spot on the album and having some of the saddest lyrics of all the songs, ‘Hannah’ somehow manages to be one of the most uplifting. The track has an air of complete euphony; each chord plucked by a guitar, each synth chosen, and each key that is sung, flowing perfectly into one another creating a fun but almost celestial, heavenly sound. The vocals enrapture the listener, transporting the mind to somewhere out of body, as the physical body can’t help but succumb to the groovy beats and dance.

   Track six on hwykiynt,  ‘Are We Alone?’,  is a track that in this tech savvy generation most everybody can relate to. The song describes an encounter in which although two people are alone, they seem to be apart due to a screen that is preventing them from connecting. The track is upbeat, with cohesive and seamless rhythms, including snap noises that add an intriguing extra element to the already strong melodies. The vocals hit every note with practiced precision, singing each utterance of “are we alone”, in a mellifluous way that glides over the curves of the note’s highs and lows. In the last stanza, one of those parts I love for some indescribable reason, the vocals become slightly muted singing “It’s a screen, it’s a life, it’s you, it’s me, it’s everything”, earnestly before building back up and finishing the song out.

   Following ‘Are We Alone?’, ‘Heart Eyes’, makes the listener feel exactly like the title sounds it would. Heart Eyes drips of sincerity and sweetness with mellow beats and a feel good chorus. The synths twang alongside the steady drum beat, making for the tropical and easy listening sound, and the dreaminess of the vocals make this song a favorite of many. The song plays out to a delicate piano that brings the listener back to earth.

    The last track of the album, “Malibu 1992”, is a re-vamp of a track initially titled ‘Malibu’ on the 1992 EP. This song is the slowest song on the album and carries a different vibe from the rest of the album. Lasting 5 minutes and 41 seconds, this bittersweet and sad love song conjures up teary eyes in me from the mere thought of it. The honeyed vocals and striking lyrics tell a story full of sentiment and heartache, and wash over the listener in waves of feeling. The falsetto “oh’s” help convey the emotion of the song, adding to the feel of the narrative. As the song comes to a close, it never misses a beat instrumentally, each sound beautiful, conveying every emotion the song brings to life. Finally uttering the song’s namesake singing “But 20 years it seems you’ve forgotten, Malibu ‘92”, I sink into myself and after holding my breath the entire song, finally exhale.

    How Will You Know If You Never Try is an undeniably good album. With well-constructed songs that you can both party and cry too, it’s hard to pick a favorite. Each song written with danceable melodies, ingenious lyrics and a high level of precision, it is clear to see that COIN is a force to be reckoned with. This album is bound to be one for the ages that you will remember for years to come. How Will You Know If You Never Try is quickly becoming a staple in my everyday life, and I know that I’ll be playing this record all summer long, and for the rest of time.

How Will You Know If You Never Try is out now and is available to stream, purchase on COIN’s website, pick up in stores, or listen on iTunes.

Listen to the album here: https://open.spotify.com/album/4TJUrdwbeKC9qcouPlBuLe !

Be sure to catch COIN live on their first headlining tour for hwykiynt this spring and summer! I promise, you won’t regret it. Dates are here: http://www.thisiscoin.com/tour/

[themusicenthusiast]

Saturday, May 13th, 2017 – Cheers!: Manny the Martyr Caps Off a Five Year Run with One Last Epic Party at The Curtain Club

All photos by Jordan Buford Photography This was the night no one wanted to come yet everyone was kind of looking forward to: it was the night that Manny the Martyr would put to rest. Fans and friends were eager to see what the sure to be epic final set would be like, and on top of that there was a sense of excitement about the homecoming of Jake Cravens for the band’s first club show since March, after which he moved to Chicago. That would play somewhat of a significant role in the performance; and further making this one final party was the fact that they enlisted the help of several of their friends to warm up the stage for them. Dear Rachel kicked things of early, the pop/rock outfit being able to squeeze in the majority of the songs from the two-month-old But Really, Only You, kicking things off with the high-energy “Hollywood Called”. It wasn’t long before Alex Casado commented on the significance of the night, saying they hadn’t cared what time slot they got this night, they just wanted to be a part of the bill, thanking Manny the Martyr for making it happen.

They continued tearing through their 29-minute long set; Trey Williams launching them into “Backseat Driver”, Casado noting it would be their next single. Deservedly so, because it, and for that matter, everything in their arsenal, has a mainstream appeal while retaining a freshness about it. “Translate” would conclude their time on stage, and what a striking closer it was. A great song in general, it seemed intensified this night, everything else they had done building up to that moment, allowing it to provide an explosive finish to a dynamite show. And the night was just getting started. The turnaround time between bands was quite quick (then again, with six bands playing, it needed to be), and in no time at all Werewolf Therewolf was ready to go.

No band sounded the same this night, each one bringing a little something different to the table, the Denton-based outfit expanding upon that greatly with their brand of progressive rock with a pop sensibility. It’s something completely unique, ensuring they stand apart from anyone else. But all the same, they’re still a rock band at their core, as the quartet demonstrated this night. There was an undeniable intensity about much of their material, singer and rhythm guitarist Daniel Galvan effortlessly belting out some of the lines when necessary; the vocalist even making a joke or two when he was able. “You guys having a good time?” he asked several songs in, the patrons that where there cheering and applauding. “Good, ‘cause that would be weird if you weren’t,” he commented.

From precise and technical to powerful, raw rock ‘n’ roll, Werewolf Therewolf traversed a wide spectrum, Carlo Decanini, Aaron Caruthers, Cameron Sather, and Galvan holding nothing back. They found their stride early on, but even so and with around thirty minutes to fill, one couldn’t help but think they were still just scratching the surface as the curtain closed on them. All the same, they were crucial to enlivening the atmosphere at the Curtain this night. Given Manny the Martyr’s unique sound, it was fitting that some other reggae-esque band be on the bill, and Burning Slow filled that niche perfectly. Leaning more towards the heavier side of rock, they weren’t without a little reggae and even funk flare to their music; and since Clinton Styles had prior commitments, Brian Scheid of Triple SP was filling in with them, pulling double duty for the night.

He meshed well with them, and thanks to the confidence they all exuded, those who didn’t know better wouldn’t have had a clue that wasn’t the official Burning Slow lineup. They weren’t too far into their 27-minute long set before some fans started shouting for “Justice”, Matt Brodeur promising they were getting there, what has become their signature song eventually finishing off their time on stage, fanfare from the ever increasing number of patrons seeing them out. Triple SP had the stage next, Scheid seemingly ready for more, especially since that now entailed songs he had helped write. Only about a month out from a little West Coast tour, they would prove to be a completely different Triple SP from when I had last caught them, and with that being about two years ago, that had been too long.

Their 38-minute long set was comprised of plenty of classics of theirs, such as the opener, “Alone”, which acted as a call to everyone in Curtain Club to congregate around the stage; singer and guitarist Derek Procter cutting loose during that one, taking a few steps back form the microphone and wailing on his axe. Almost immediately they revealed themselves to be a cut above, their time on the road, being able to play a series of consecutive shows and deepen their chemistry, having incredible results. “Closure” was one that exemplified that bond, from the rhythm centric intro to the blazing riffs, lead guitarist Brad Mccain putting on a clinic at times and often mingled and jammed with Procter and Scheid. “How you doing?!” the bassist asked during one of the instrumental stretches, going the extra mile to get everyone pumped up, the crowd responding with plenty of shouts.

“I Want it All” was one of those numbers that saw a phenomenal duel (and dueling) guitar solo; while “Drugs” further intensified the rhythm section, Jacob Bobo hammering out the beats with a fury, as he and Scheid demonstrated what a dominant force they are. They breezed through their set, or at least they made it feel as if they had, continuously growing more compelling, until everyone was eventually left wishing they had more time to work with to squeeze in a few more numbers. Triple SP helped bring things to the next level, truly helping build the excitement of the night. The musicianship they displayed was staggering, and they were so impeccably tight that most acts would be envious of such chemistry.

A noteworthy band of D-FW for a while now, they were a whole other kind of impressive this night, the touring shape they’ve gotten in elevating them to something grand. Despite having heard the bulk of the songs they played a few times over, they all sounded fresh this night, a little more kick added to them. In turn, that made it all feel almost new. They tore it up, fiercely rocking the stage and easily proving themselves to be one of the most notable bands here in the music scene. The main support slot went to Innrcor, who whipped everyone into shape with some straight up, slightly heavy rock ‘n’ roll. Their set wasn’t without some slight hiccups, some guitar trouble occasionally plaguing them, though the other three members marched on with what they were playing, making the best of it, which is the only thing that can be done in a situation like that.

By the time they finished it was pushing midnight, and the main act was yet to come. This wasn’t the sold-out event everyone had anticipated. In fact, more people turned out to see Manny the Martyr back in March than they did at this final show. Somewhat surprising, though that was their loss; and even then, upwards of a couple hundred people were in attendance on this Saturday night to help them wrap up their five year run. A little sadness still hung in the air, but for the most part everyone was ecstatic about seeing Manny the Martyr again; the band members earning a laugh every now and then when they would suddenly poke their head out from between the curtain, surveying everyone before disappearing again. It was 12:22 when they got their 90-minute long set going, kicking it off with a moody jam, the curtain remaining closed for a time as they built up the suspense before launching in to their first song. It was a night in which they tried to hit as many highlights as they could, touching on all of their albums and many of the covers that had become standards.

Their first two cuts came in rapid succession, Jake Cravens having just enough time between them to comment, “I have never felt so much love in life!” He was beaming as he said, and he and his band mates aimed to return that love with the best possible show they could deliver, promptly ripping into the funky fresh “Play The Part”. They stayed on their Bail Me Out EP, doing a song that has always been a fan favorite, though one Cravens was always reluctant to play, as it could be a bit strenuous on his voice. To help with the screams featured in that song they enlisted the help of Adakain’s Ryan Ray, the frontman having some kind words to say about Manny the Martyr before helping them pull off an unforgettable rendition of “Sink Or Swim”, the two vocalists commanding the stage and working together in perfect harmony. “It’s something special…” Cravens remarked as they hit their first break of the night, the singer, still overcome with emotions, talking on how amazing it was to leave his hometown and come back to a reception like this.

As they continued on, they even did a few new songs from the Full Range EP they were releasing this night, one’s they hadn’t played before, at least letting their die-hard fans know how they would sound live. One of those was “Ad Nauseum”, which stood out as one of their most creative pieces of work. The mix of funk, reggae and rock was even more intriguing than usual, the chords being mesmerizing, Mike Ubben and Brad Green being methodical and intense in their playing. It was one they had been sitting on for a while, hearing it being well worth the wait, even it was the first and only time. Everyone knew what was coming after being asked, “Where are my weed smokers at?” cheering in response. It was with “Boogyman”, an absolute classic of MTM’s, that they really hit their stride, settling into a whole new level of comfort and confidence for the night, performing it seeming more like a reflex. Jason Stark was in the zone, the bassist strolling around the stage, kicking the air every now and again throughout the night. However, the most memorable moment of that song came when Cravens welcomed a young kid up on the stage, allowing him to sing some of the lines. “…I got usurped!” he quipped, saying he felt confident they had just found his replacement.

They followed it up with the subsequent track from Brighter Sun, Cravens mentioning, just in case no one knew, that his brother had passed away while he was serving his country a few years ago. Hence why “Too Soon” was never played too often, it was often an emotionally exhausting one that, understandably, brought up strong feelings, though it was one they felt needed to be a part of their final show. He was up front in stating he didn’t think he would be able to get through it, asking for help from those who knew it, who were happy to chime in when necessary. Even at the end of the night the emotions weren’t as high as they were during the performance of that song, Cravens noting afterwards that there was something about the fact that he knew he’d never play that song again that made it even more difficult. Still, I think everyone would agree he kept his composure a lot better than most could. “Anteman” was another from the last batch of songs they released, and while it had been heard at their final few shows, they had apparently been holding back on the full version, specifically the guitar solo that Green ripped into. It was said to be his first live solo ever and he slayed it, catching everyone off guard as he laid into his axe.

A chance to catch their breath followed, the band’s plaque they had earned a few years prior being brought up on stage to them, Cravens saying he grew up coming here, mentioning bands like Drowning Pool and SouthFM who had earned their rightful place as icons of the music scene, seeing their plaques and making it a personal goal to get one of his own. It represented an older era of MTM, a couple bass players ago, and Cravens sounded excited talking about what he planned on doing do it, like making a few adjustments before hanging it on his wall. Dedicated to their longtime fans, “It's Alright” ended with a joke that only those who had been with them since the very beginning would get. The closing “And that’s okay” became, “Dad, I’m gay,” Cravens adding the context afterwards, recalling a show at House of Blues where, after a few drinks, he just thought that would be a funny addition to the song, and felt it only fitting he repeat the move for its final performance. “Cereal Killer” would be one of the final originals they would do this night, the remainder of their set being mostly covers, such as their delightful rendition of “No Diggity” that had the whole place moving. They had another one at the ready, however, after being put up to a vote, an original won out, leading them to busting out “Brighter Sun”, a little extra funk flare added to the breakdown.

Thus far, Joel Simka had been drumming like a champ, even going above and beyond what’s normal for him, and that was made exceptionally impressive due to the fact that he had thrown his back out just a couple days before the show. “…He’s in extreme pain right now,” Cravens pointed out, asking everyone give Simka a hand. Last time they were here they celebrated 311 day slightly early, playing a couple 311 songs to commemorate it, and now, they gave those who missed it a taste of what it was like. “Beautiful Disaster” had everyone raving, but before going any further, much to Cravens surprise, his dad actually got on stage with them. He had another cover in mind, trying to coax his son into playing the first song he taught him, while stressing to everyone that it had taken thirty years to get Jake to the point he’s at now, all thanks to his training and watchful eye. “I have video of him on the back porch in diapers singing this song,” he informed the audience while still prodding his son to sing “Itsy Bitsy Spider”. He wouldn’t, though his band mates and everyone else in the club had no problem with it, adding the nursery rhyme to the set list.

That drew some laughs, though there were also some tender moments shared by the father and son. And before he left the stage, he had something important to say. “Son, I’m gay, too,” he finished, the room erupting into laughter, that being the last thing anyone would have expected to hear, but oh, it made the night. The quintet got back to it with “Creatures (For A While)”, and with two-o’clock fast approaching, it was nearly time to end it. Not even because they wanted to, as it looked like they could have played another hour, but because they just had no more time to work with. Because of that, they said their cover of “Stand by Me” would be it, and that could have been a fitting end. Like most of the other songs they’ve tried their hand at over the years, that one is unexpected but they make it sound stupendous. As had become customary, Cravens got out among the people during it, making it into a sing along as the audience clustered around him, making the most of the final few moments they had with Manny the Martyr. As fitting an end as that may have been, it just didn’t feel right, and no sooner had they finished it and they fired up one more song. The last song, and one of the first ones they wrote after starting the group. Cravens would joke this night that it was his band mates fault he got tied up in all of this, answering a Craigslist post about needing a singer, first being told it was going to be more of a covers gig, and then they decided to get into the original music game, becoming a part of the club scene. Not that he would have wanted it any other way.

Just like so many times before, the action-packed “Hit the Brink” saw them out, leading to an electrifying finish not just to the night, but the career. Ubben, Cravens, Simka, Stark, and Green stood arms around one another, taking that final bow on a stage that had been their home more than any other venue; Cravens delivering a eulogy of sorts, choking up as he spoke of how much this experience had meant to him. How grateful he was the to the guys standing beside him and how much he appreciated everyone that had supported them. “…The last five years have been a blast because of you!” he said shortly before the curtain closed on them. It was sad, to an extent, though this was a perfect final show. It was a celebration of what Manny the Martyr was, being incredibly fun right up until the very end, capturing the essence of what they were about. That’s one of the things that will be missed most about them, the sheer enjoyment they got out of performing. It’s a rare treat to see a group of musicians have the amount of fun they packed into every show, which made it even easier for the onlookers to get pulled in. On top of that, there’s the fact that they stood out from every other band in the scene. There’s plenty of rock outfits and metal bands, and indie acts are still in abundance, too. But bands like MTM, ones that mix rock, funk, reggae and even a little ska, those are virtually nonexistent. That’s not a slight against all the other styles, but Manny the Martyr offered something refreshing. It was unique, even among the bands they molded themselves after, and that diversity they brought to the scene will be sorely missed as well. I know that was what drew me to them a few years back when I stumbled upon them here at the Curtain Club. I don’t recall who I was there to see that night, but Manny the Martyr certainly made a lasting impression. Five years may not seem like long, but a plethora of great memories were made in that time. Thanks to the five of them for making that possible by sharing their talents with others and best of luck to them in any and all future endeavors.