#the time i publicly destroyed a bigot in starbucks

[azurafanclubpresident]

The time I publicly destroyed Nazeem in the Plains District

This might sound fake but I assure you, my life is stranger than Michael Kirkbride’s writing

Me, minding my own Goldenglow beeswax: I'll get a large warm mammoth milk please!

Nazeem: under his breath Warm mammoth milk? Get a life, unlike me, who has one, because I live in the cloud district.. they don't even sell that here.

Merchant: Actually yeah we do sell warm mammoth milk, does that bother you?

Nazeem: Rolls eyes imagine actually drinking that. Did I mention I live in the Cloud District?

Me: I don't have to imagine grabs my warm mammoth milk and takes a good sassy swig

Nazeem: Notices my Plains District pin Oh so you're a plainsggot? So you just don't go to the Cloud District?That figures

Me: Yup, I'm a proud "plainsggot" and that has nothing to do with my preferences in beverages

Woman behind me: Did you seriously just call that dunmer a plainsggot? What kind of Tamriel are we living in!?

Me: Yep, I'm used to it though.. That's what you get openly living in Breezehome it seems!

Nazeem: I'm literally a resident of the Cloud District and I won't let you Sheogorath freaks shame me for living in the Cloud District, people like you are hurting my district. I'm gonna go have SX with Balgruuf the Greater in his bed in his castle in the Cloud District

Me: Uhhhh buddy you were the one shaming me for buying warm mammoth milk and now you're shoving the image of s*x in the Cloud District down a Cloud District repulsed Plains District lover's throat... Not a good look. And yes, I'm a proud Sheogorath freak!

Woman: I've been an out Plains District woman since 4E 180 and let me tell you, mr. Cloud District, we have done nothing but further acceptance for your district and carry your district on our backs.

Me: You have the nerve to talk down to a Plains District elder? Really?

Merchant: Throws Honninghbrew mead (Yuck, Blackbriar only) on the bigoted guy

Merchant: Well... I might get dragged off by the guards and thrown in prison with a bandit corpse for this but at least I can say it was worth it

Me: picks up my warm mammoth milk and pours it on Nazeem's head

Nazeem: I HATE PLAINSGGOTS AND THE PLAINS DISTRICT. YOU ARE NOT EVEN HUMAN OR MER OR ANYTHING ELSE IN THE DIVERSE LORE OF THE ELDER SCROLLS.

Me: loudly and proudly Another warm mammoth milk please, on the house! I think I'm owed it

Merchant: You know it!

Nazeem: storms out crying

[smqllfry]

me leaving with my warm milk after destroying a bigot

[boag]

The time I publicly destroyed a bigot in Starbucks

This might sound fake but I assure you, my life is stranger than fiction.

Me, minding my own beeswax: I’ll get a large warm milk please!

Some guy: under his breath Warm milk? Get a life.. they don’t even sell that here

Barista: Actually yeah we do sell warm milk, does that bother you?

Some guy: Rolls eyes imagine actually drinking that

Me: I don’t have to imagine grabs my warm milk and takes a good sassy swig

The guy: Notices my ace pin Oh so you’re an aceggot? So you just don’t get laid? That figures

Me: Yup, I’m a proud “aceggot” and that has nothing to do with my preferences in beverages

Woman behind me: Did you seriously just call that person an aceggot? What kind of world are we living in!?

Me: Yep, I’m used to it though.. That’s what you get for being openly asexual it seems!

The guy: I’m literally a gay man and I won’t let you Jesus freak aces shame me for having gay sx, people like you are hurting my community. I’m gonna go have SX with my boyfriend

Me: Uhhhh buddy you were the one shaming me for buying warm milk and now you’re shoving the image of s*x down a sex repulsed ace’s throat… Not a good look. And yes, I’m a proud Jesus freak!

Woman: I���ve been an out asexual woman since the 80s and let me tell you, mr. Gay, we have done nothing but further acceptance for your community and carry your community on our backs.

Me: You have the nerve to talk down to an asexual elder? Really?

Barista: Throws water on the bigoted guy

Barista: Well… I might lose my job for this but at least I can say it was worth it

Me: picks up my warm milk and pours it on his head

Bigot: I HATE ASEXUALS AND ASEXUALITY. YOU ARE NOT EVEN HUMAN.

Me: loudly and proudly Another warm milk please, on the house! I think I’m owed it

Barista: You know it!

Bigot: storms out crying

[twistedorbeez]

The time I publicly destroyed a bigot in Starbucks

This might sound fake but I assure you, my life is stranger than fiction.

Me, minding my own beeswax: I’ll get a large warm milk please!

Some guy: under his breath Warm milk? Get a life.. they don’t even sell that here

Barista: Actually yeah we do sell warm milk, does that bother you?

Some guy: Rolls eyes imagine actually drinking that

Me: I don’t have to imagine grabs my warm milk and takes a good sassy swig

The guy: Notices my Smiths pin Oh so you’re a Morrissey apologist? So you just don’t get laid? That figures

Me: Yup, I’m a proud “Morrissey apologist” and that has nothing to do with my preferences in beverages

Woman behind me: Did you seriously just call that person a Morrissey apologist? What kind of world are we living in!?

Me: Yep, I’m used to it though.. That’s what you get for being openly a Smiths fan it seems!

The guy: I’m literally a gay man and I won’t let you Oscar Wilde freak Smiths fans shame me for having gay sex, people like you are hurting my community. I’m gonna go have SEX with my boyfriend

Me: Uhhhh buddy you were the one shaming me for buying warm milk and now you’re shoving the image of s*x down a sex repulsed Smiths fan's throat… Not a good look. And yes, I’m a proud Oscar Wilde freak!

Woman: I’ve been an out Smiths fan since the 80s and let me tell you, mr. Gay, we have done nothing but further acceptance for your community and carry your community on our backs.

Me: You have the nerve to talk down to an elder Smiths fan? Really?

Barista: Throws water on the bigoted guy

Barista: Well… I might lose my job for this but at least I can say it was worth it

Me: picks up my warm milk and pours it on his head

Bigot: I HATE THE SMITHS AND THEIR MUSIC. YOU ARE NOT EVEN HUMAN.

Me: loudly and proudly Another warm milk please, on the house! I think I’m owed it

Barista: You know it!

Bigot: storms out crying

[tostadora]

The time I publicly destroyed un bigot at Starbucks

This might sound fake but I assure you, my life is stranger than fiction

Moi, minding my own affaires: I’ll have une baguette s’il vous plait

Some guy: *under his breath* A baguette? Get a life... they don’t even sell that here

Barista: Actually, oui, we do sell baguettes, does that bother you?

Some guy: *rolls eyes* imagine actually eating that

Moi: I don’t have to imagine *grabs my warm baguette and takes a good sassy chomp*

The guy: *notices my Eiffel Tower pin* Oh so you’re a Frenchgot? So you just don’t win wars? That figures

Moi: Oui, I’m a proud “Frenchgot” and that has nothing to do with my preferences in sustenance

Femme behind moi: Did you seriously just call that person a Frenchgot? What kind of monde are we living in?

Moi: Oui, I’m used to it though.. that’s what you get for being openly French it seems!

The guy: I’m literally a gay man and I won’t let you French freaks shame me for having gay s*x, people like you are hurting my community. I’m gonna go have S*X with my boyfriend

Moi: Uhhhhh mon ami you were the one shaming me for buying a warm baguette and now you’re shoving the image of s*x down a sex repulsed French’s throat... Non a good look. Et oui, je suis a proud French freak!

Femme: I’ve been an out French femme since the 4-20s et let me tell you, monsieur Gay, we have done nothing but further acceptance for your community et carry your community on our backs

Moi: You have the nerve to talk down to a French ancien? Vraiment?

Barista: *throws l’eau on the bigoted guy*

Barista: Well... I might lose my job for this, but at least I can say it was worth it.

Moi: *picks up ma warm baguette et hits him on la tête*

Bigot: I HATE FRENCH PEOPLE AND FRANCE. YOU ARE NOT EVEN HUMAN.

Moi: *loudly and proudly* une autre baguette, s’il vous plait, par la maison! I think I’m owed it

Barista: You know it!

Bigot: *storms out crying*