#the three mustache-teers

[kloofspeaks]

Rooster: Man, if only someone could predict my future. Bob: You're going to fall Rooster right on the edge of a staircase looking back at him: I'm going to wha- AAAAA Bob deadpans towards the camera: There he goes.

[kloofspeaks]

I just had this random headcanon and I need to write this out right now.

"Bob- are those.. velcro straps?"

"I can't tie my shoes."

"What do you mean you can't tie your shoes? How did you even find velcro strap boots?"

"A lot of searching, I may be in my 20s but I still can't tie my shoes."

"How are we friends with him?"

*Rooster shrugging while he's wearing crocs (Lightning Mcqueen ones to be exact, they're also in four wheel drive)*

[kloofspeaks]

Questioning how the dagger squad would get arrested.

Bob - Murdering a family of three (It's always the quiet ones)

Rooster - Speeding (He lives a cars one and three life on the daily)

Phoenix - Arson (Now this makes sense)

Hangman - probably a bar fight or something, stabbing someone in the eye with a toothpick sounds like something he would do also.

Fanboy - Tax evasion

Coyote - Breaking out hangman from prison

Payback - Nothing, he's actually the responsible one.

[kloofspeaks]

Random Top Gun Character Headcanons

Bob often has to take off his glasses to clean them, Phoenix often carries a cloth for him since he happens to misplace it.

Rooster happens to have a small collection of floral scented cologne, he got it from his dad and has used the same brand ever since.

Hangman just happens to carry boxes of toothpicks, he passes it out sort of like gum but instead its a box of toothpicks.

Rooster happens to only know how to embroider hawaiian flowers, he often does it for Phoenix's jean jackets, and some of Bob's custom blankets. It was a hobby his mom helped him pick up.

Bob likes to sew and make clothes, (he really enjoys making scarfs for the mustache-teers.)

Maverick and Rooster have a challenge to see who can play Great Balls of Fire the best and the fastest (Rooster mainly wins, and happens to get a lot of cash out of it too)

Phoenix happens to steal Bob's glasses, leaving him completely blind out in public. (He tries to find her in the blur he calls life, but he can't)

Bob has a small stitch collection, he has at least dragged Rooster and Phoenix to build-a-bear a couple times because he wanted the stitch plush (He often gets the cotton candy scent and him and Rooster always brighten up the workers day because they do the heart dance thing with so much passion)

Rooster often get's gifts that play off his name from the dagger squad, which is why he has a small box of Rooster themed items.

The dagger squad often gets teased in public for calling each other their callsigns (that's until the people realize they're naval aviators).

Rooster tries to teach Hangman piano at least the couple times they run into each other at the hard deck, he thinks it's too hard and walks away.

Maverick enjoys playing board games with Bradley, and his group of friends. (He somehow always wins monopoly no matter how hard they try to plot against him).

Rooster washes his bronco often, which leads to the rest of the Mustache-teers helping him only for the out come to be them soaking wet by the end because they fight over the hose like children. (Maverick watches this happen while drinking a cup of coffee- usually has a shot of vodka in it or something)

[kloofspeaks]

Bob keeping a list of all the people that have done him wrong is something I will always laugh about.

"What are you writing in?"

"My hate list."

"Why is it all Hangman?"

"I don't think that deserves an answer when you already know it, Phoenix."

"You're right."

[kloofspeaks]

Phoenix currently holding a microphone to Bob: Why do you wear heelys and sunglasses everywhere you go? Bob: Because the swag can't ever stop BabyyyYYy *Camera zooms out to Bob speeding away while Rooster (the cameraman) is wheezing*

[kloofspeaks]

Okay, but onesies?

"Why do you both look like 6 year olds on christmas morning?"

"OUR DISNEY ONESIES CAME IN."

*Bob and Rooster jumping out of the shadows in the cars themed onesies.*

"What the-"

"we got you one too."

*Rooster throwing a mater onesie at her*

"Get in the halloween spirit."

[kloofspeaks]

Bob being really good at sewing is what gives me life.

"Did he make you a scarf?"

"Fifth one this year."

"Wait did you say fif-"

"Hey! Roos, I made you a scarf."

*Bob holding out a cars themed scarf with a wide smile on his face while Rooster is just hesitating.*

"He only knows how to make scarfs."

"I can see that."

[kloofspeaks]

Making it canon that everytime Bob pulls off a solid come back, Phoenix fist bumps him and they both put on sunglasses at the same time.

"You're going to die if you continue to fly with Phoenix, she's a literal fireball."

"Y-your- You're mom."

*Cue him and Phoenix fistbumping and putting on sunglasses while Rooster is in the back wheezing*

[kloofspeaks]

Bob and Rooster both need shirts that say "If lost, return to Phoenix." and Phoenix is just wearing a shirt that says "I'm Phoenix, I don't want them- but alright."

"What'd you do this time?"

"Listen, they said that there was no possible way Bob could fit in a shopping cart."

"So, he put me in a shopping cart and we caused utter chaos."

"I don't want to be here anymore- take this shirt back, find a new phoenix."

[kloofspeaks]

Bob having light up sketchers is what will bring me life.

"Here comes Bob."

"How can you see him? It's pitch black out."

"His shoes."

*Rooster pointing over towards a group of trees and just bright lights flashing from a pair of sketchers.*

[kloofspeaks]

Rooster: So, who's the richest guy here? Phoenix: Him Bob with his 120 pack of crayons:

[kloofspeaks]

Rooster standing proudly while he's looking at a 'Mistletoe': Phoenix whispering to Bob: When are we going to tell him that's a fern? Bob: Never.

[kloofspeaks]

This is the kind of meme Bradley sends to the Dagger Squad group chat just to annoy everyone else.

How do the others react to it in your mind dear?

Okay, I don't make Dagger squad post much so I'm assuming it's all the pilots in the second one

I'm gonna automatically assume that Rooster sent this at like 12-1 am.

Phoenix would probably respond with some sort of burn-in joke and just pure disappointment.

Bob would reply with a simple stitch photo. (it would be this one)

Hangman would go along with the joke but he's never seen cars (That's the main reason why Rooster hates the dude)

Coyote would just laugh along (mainly to himself) and just send a simple "lol." (he gives off those vibes)

Fanboy would just simply say "Not again." and leave the group chat. (Phoenix and Halo eventually joining him, Halo doesn't even say a single word she just leaves.)

Payback would probably just send a meme back, probably something cars related. (it's the same photo just different format)

Assuming Maverick is in this group chat, Ice was able to show him how to mute group chats because he can't handle Rooster's daily midnight posts. (he does it every night)

Yale, Harvard, and Fritz aren't even in the group chat. they left on day one because they realized they're friends with a bunch of dumb idiots.

Thank you, thank you, all memes and photos provided by me.

[kloofspeaks]

Bob wearing his light up sketchers during a power outage: Rooster: Well, at least we got some lights, Bob hit it! Bob just stomping on the floor so the shoes light up: Phoenix face palming in the corner:

[kloofspeaks]

Rooster after getting a Hudson Hornet irl ft. the gang

"Why did you waste your money on this?"

"Because.. cars."

"Just cars?"

"Yes, just cars, his name is doc."

"DOC NEVER DIED, HE'S BEEN WITH US THIS WHOLE TIME."

"SEE, BOB GETS IT."

"I'm gonna kill again."